July 31, 2025

(no music) Whisper Thursday | LMBYTS #1400 | Jason Newland | 31st July 2025

(no music) Whisper Thursday | LMBYTS #1400 | Jason Newland | 31st July 2025
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Hello, and welcome to chasonnew Land dot com. My name

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is Chasing new Land. Yes it really is.

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Ah, this is.

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Whisper Thursday. I don't know why. Don't ask me why,

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but that's what this is. For some reason. Just go

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out of bed and I'm making a recording. I don't

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know why. Don't ask me why. I'm just doing it.

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Believe is onlyly listening when you can safely close your eyes.

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I don't know if my voice is still a bit croaky,

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it might be. I think today is Thursday, the thirtieth

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of July twoenty twenty five. Listens to thirty first one

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of them. It's the last day of July twenty twenty nine.

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Ye if it is, say the latest the latest. His

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uncle Sausages has been officially moved into a nursing home, and,

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according to another visitor, revis is a lovely place and

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the staff for great so depending upon COVID results, when

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I do a COVID test later today, I'm going to

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go up and see him. That would be weird. I

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still can't come head around the fact that last time

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I saw him he was chatty. Okay, he was right,

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he wasn't his normal chatty self. He hasn't been like

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that for a while. But he was still talking and

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he was still had energy, and he's you know, and

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now he's nothing. He's just asleep. So I've not seen

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that version of him, but than when I did. I

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did see him asleep, but that was weird because he's

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he's the biggest chatterbox you'll ever meet. It's very strange

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to see someone that vocal that quiet, very unusual. Indeed,

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I had some strange dreams. I said, this boxing gathering

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and it was full of boxes and me. I don't

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even know why I was there, but it was very

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very alpha male behavior. So it's I was kind of

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out out of place, as it were, because I don't

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think I've had any testosterone in my body. For that

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sounds wrong, doesn't it. I mean, I don't. I don't

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think I've got any, but I think there is any

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disosterone in me. I think they used to be when

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I was younger. But but technically, if I'm going bold in,

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if I'm if my hairs or receding, this isn't now

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signed tim like a really ferile I don't know. In

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my case, no no new new new. Yeah, yesterday I

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spent a few hours died in through uncle sausages flat,

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putting stuff into bags, and the Council of now taking

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hold of the flat, and I'm trying to find any

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of his personal items, you know, like pictures and things

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like that, photographs, anything that might mean something to him,

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and just you know, finding that stuff before the council

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come in and just destroy everything, which is what they're

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gonna do. But why I've done in in the process

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is I've made the council's job really easy because at

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least probably sixty of these belongings are now all backed up,

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all stuff they can chug out that they can check

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out all backed up. So if I chucked out, I

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put stuff on you know, outside, and I've also filled

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his kitchen with stuff. I think, I think yesterday because

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his other next a kin asks me to find a

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couple of personal letters with some information on that she needed.

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So I did that and I took a photocopy. Well,

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I took a photograph and I sent it to her.

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So once I was in there, I thought, maybe I'll

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just get on with this and get a bit more done.

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And I don't know, I think I think I was

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starting to enjoy doing it. For some reason. Perhaps it

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was the focus because I need to didy at my

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own home tonight. It's not like that, but is still

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it's getting over crowded in it. I need to just

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stub a little tidy up. I'm definitely moving towards the

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idea of minimimalism. Minimalist pretty much owning, no belongings apart

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from maybe just a TV on the wall. I said,

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it's a close as well. So I've got these books,

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I don't have much belonging. It's really Oh yes, it's

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a funny thing. I've got the alert from PIB, which

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is a personal independence payment uh benefits, so they review

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in me. So I'll have to go through that now, Yeah,

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which should be uh might mean o wow. We'll say

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what it means. So the old saying is that when

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one told it flushes, a number one needs flushing. I

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don't know what that means.

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See.

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Uh, Finny jumped up when I woke up this morning,

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well about twenty minutes ago, jumped up. I thought he

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must be hungry. There's a couple of food. Nope, not

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interested in food. He's just lying next to me a

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sleep or listening. Probably yeah, he's listening one of his ears,

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he smoked, right up, Are you listening, Finny, Yes, he's listening.

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I had someone knock on my door at nine o'clock

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last night, and I went a bit about eight. I

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had an early night. I just just had to someone

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knocked on my door at nine o'clock. That's so. Then

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he started barking. So I didn't just press the doorbell,

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which I wouldn't have heard. They had to knock loudly

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as well. So I come out of my bedroom on

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a show and said, and it was one of my neighbors,

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not not local neighbors, but someone lives around the corner.

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I said, jo want I said, I'm in bed. As

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far as I can say, that's enough. If I said

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I'm in bed, then they she said, okay, never mind

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buy But came question, why you're in bed? What the

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what's it? Can't do with you? Why I'm in bed.

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I'm an adult. I've chosen to go to bed. I

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do not answer to you. I'm in bed. Are you

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gonna answer the door? You can open the door. I've

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got COVID. Oh you still got that?

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Have you?

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Yeah? Because I just told you I got it?

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Why I said I'm.

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Going back to bed now. And then Finny would not

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leave the front door because he wanted to go and

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say he lod to the person who was out on

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the other side. I said, Benny, come on and come on,

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and he comnaored me. He literally super glued his feet

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to the floor in the front door. So I'm like

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raising my voice a come on, Vinny, and the neighbors

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starts talking to me. What's that because she must hear

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me say come on, no from talking to the door.

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This is what you do him bothering me. I'm a

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little bit grumpy when I'm in bed if I'm disturbed,

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which is most of the time, to be fair, but

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it's usually just because Vinnie hears something and starts barking.

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For example, there's this cat and someone thought it would

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be a really good idea. The owner of the cat

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owner may, yeah, I'm pretty sure they thought he'd be

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really clever, really funny, and really, I don't know, super

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inteligent to buy a little bell. So it's it's a

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little little bell on it on their collar, on his

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cat's color. It's very faint. I can hardly hear it.

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But Vinny goes at Natty every time that cat walks

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in the garden. It's like cute pass through you are.

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They don't think, they don't think, oh, look a lovely

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little bell. I mean maybe if you're right close to

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it you can hear it quite loudly. I don't know.

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But this one here is a mile away and he

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goes bananas. Don't really a lie I can do about it,

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except moan not really been concentrating on anything lately, you know,

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just skipping through TV. Not necessarily. Yeah, my focus has

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been a little bit, a little bit wobbly, my mental focus,

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I'll be honest. This part of me, there's a large

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part of me that just does not want to go

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and visit Uncle's sausages because I don't want to see

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him like that. But I also know that I need to.

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It's important to do it, and I do wanna visit,

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and I do want to see him, and I don't know,

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hold his hand and maybe you know the fairy I've

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read in theory that hearing is the last thing that

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goes so although he's got his eyes cove dick and

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still hear me. But just thinking if the roles were

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reversed and I was there with my eyes closed, not

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able to really do anything. And he was my visitor,

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and he was talking NonStop about sport. I'd be wishing

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for my hearing to stop. Wow, I'd be shouting internally,

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shot trying to sleep. I think I just had a

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squirrel sneeze. How strange. By the way, I'm not going

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to be doing these well. I've got no plan of

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doing these whisper daily things. I don't even know what

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I'm doing one today. All I know is I.

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Am I Am, Mayam, may Am.

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It's very peaceful. It is early in the morning, it's

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about twenty to four, but then I went to be

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at eight, so it's not really you.

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Know that early.

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I spent most of the day in bed, as I

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have done for the last week, a lot of time asleep.

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But last night I was just agitated. I didn't want

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to be in bed. But what did I want to do?

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I don't know. I've only been making one recording the

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last three times I've made not the last two times. Rather,

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i've made himly recorded. I've just done one version, which

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is without music, and that's a temporary thing. It's just

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because I can't. I don't know. It might be laziness,

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lack of motivation. It could be anything, but once the

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recording's done, much rather someone else do everything else, rather

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than me having to edit it and then do different

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versions and make it an image and blah blah blah

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and over to an assistant. That would be nice. I

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could hand over to an AI system, but then there'd

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be no gaps in speaking.

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It would just be parallel, which means it will no

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longer sound a human, or I will no longer sound

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a human.

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And that's our lot of videos and podcasts and stuff

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are done. They edited automatically, so they don't personally really

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doesn't have to do much at all. But I just

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think that's the difference between what I do and what

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others do is okay, I don't. I lost my train

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of thought that I don't know what for the difference

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is what other people do is good and more popular.

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What I do is I don't know. I don't even

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know what I do anymore. These recordings used to be

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about hypnosis and helping meet people with chronic pain or

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with anxiety or sleeping or things like that. I'm not

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quite sure what's happened to them. It's just ended up

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being like a an audio diary. H I think that

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this last six weeks, I don't think. I know. The

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last six weeks I had quite a profound effect on me.

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It's really got me thinking, got me thinking about my future.

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It's got me thinking about my present as well. How

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am I living my life? Do I want to live

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my life this way? Am I wasting my time? Which

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is just such a wrong thing to do, I believe,

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just to waste wasting my ear? What am I not

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doing that I could do? What am I doing that

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I shouldn't be doing? What am I doing that's worthwhile?

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What am I doing that's meaningful? What am I doing

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now that's going to affect my future life both positively

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and negatively? How long do I have? And I don't

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mean that negatively, it just realistically and what do what

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do I want to do at that time? So yeah,

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it just caught me thinking.

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Hm m m.

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What changes are required for need to move forward in

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a way? That doesn't mean that I'm just repeating my behavior.

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I don't know. I still want to make a difference,

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make a change. I still want to help people. But

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I started to wonder what about myself? M hm H

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Do I want to still be living this lifestyle where

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I have to save up if I wanna get myself

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some new classes, I have to save up. If I

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want to go to the dentist, or if I want

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to take Viny to the veat nothing there in an emergency.

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You know. It's just is that what I want more of?

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Do I want to still be looking at these walls

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in ten years time? I don't know. Christs questions, questions,

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M this is very meditative me sitting here with my

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eyes closed, focusing on the silence, the temperature of the.

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Room, becomness.

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This is certain sense of clarity I have when I

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just go out bed if I'm not tired, which I'm not.

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I'm not saying that I couldn't go back to sleep,

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because I could quite easily. But I'm not tired in

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a way that I would be if I had only

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had a couple of hours sleep and I was trying

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to force myself to be awake for whatever reason. Then

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I kept drifting off mid sentence. Yeah, and I can't

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make myself some ready breack for breakfast.

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Yeah, so I'm gonna go.

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Thank you for listening. Remember to be kind to yourself

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because you do deserve to be happy, be gentle with yourself.

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You deserved to feel safe. Lots of of

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Bye,