July 22, 2025

(no music) Not so Subtle Nurse | LMBYTS #1397 | Jason Newland | 22nd July 2025

(no music) Not so Subtle Nurse | LMBYTS #1397 | Jason Newland | 22nd July 2025
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Hello, and we'll welcome to jasonnew Land dot com. My

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name is Jason new Land. Please only listen when you

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can safely close your eyes. And this is mm hmm,

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let me bore you to sleep. It is I don't

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know what it is. It's Tuesday again. I'm a little

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bit out of rhythm with the regular recordings that I

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have been doing for the past few months, you know,

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the Monday's boring objects, Trivia, Tuesday, Whisper, Wednesday Q and

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A Friday. Although I've been doing a Q and a Friday,

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I'd see only one I've really kind of stuck to,

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as it were, So I thought I just do a general,

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a general thing, just say hi, a little catch up,

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you know, not tomato as So, I'm sitting here in

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my living room, Venice coldled up to me by my side,

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my left side. I got the window open, but for

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now it's fairly quiet. There was hours and hours of

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loud chit chat in the garden earlier. It's seemed gone forever.

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I don't know how people find that much to talk about,

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which is a weird cupboard from me, because I don't

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seem to run out of things to talk about. It

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just I prefer to do it on my own rather

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than with someone. I did well earlier. Actually, someone asked

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me how I was, and I asked them how they

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were back afterwards. See, I'm learning. I'm learning to communicate

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with humans. It's about time. So I give a little

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update on what's going on. My daddy has finished his

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treatment that he was having and RT, I think it's

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called it begins of R. The next next letter is

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T not hormone replacement. So he's had four weeks of that,

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five days a week, four weeks in a row. And

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I spoke. It was quite weird actually, because I spoke

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to him yesterday I think it was yesterday, yesterday afternoon,

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maybe it was Sunday, a loose track, and he he

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actually opened up about how he was feeling. And that

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was weird because he doesn't normally do that. Normally, he

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just says, yeah, everything's fine, and that's it. There's not

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nowhere to go after that. But he actually went through

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how he's feeling and what he's been through the last

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four weeks, and yeah, wow, So I was quite surprised.

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It seems to be doing quite well. Very tired, though,

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very very tired. So that's kind of to be expected,

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and everything seems to be going to plan. So outside

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of that being going up to the hospital, went up

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yesterday to see uncle's sausages. Yeah, he's a lot of confusion,

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a lot of you know, it's it's difficult to try

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and explain to someone that the because the blood's not clearing,

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it's the toxes from the blood that it can affect

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a person's mind. But unfortunately, kind of in the same

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way as when I'm going through a shall we say episode,

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it's hard to separate from that and realize that it's

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an episode rather than believe in it. So he was

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particularly agitated like yesterday, as he has been really for

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about two weeks, three weeks even. So I went and

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spoke to the nurse and I said, oh, nurse. She said, what,

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who are you? What do you want? And I said, oh,

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I want so many things right now, A big bar

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of chocolate. She said me too, And I said I'd

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quite like to get on a cruise and she said

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me too. Should we run away together? And I said no, thanks,

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not really. She said, oh, oh, never mind. She said

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that anything else? I said, yeah, about uncle sausages? She

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said who? I said, Uncle sausage. And then I realized

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she didn't know who Uncle sausages was, so I explained

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who I was talking about, and she said, why do

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you call him uncle sausages? And I said, because I've

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got a little dog called Vinnie, and he gives Vinni sausages.

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That's something they do. He gives it buys some sausages,

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and Hinny loves the sausages, and so Vinnie calls him

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Uncle sausages. And she said, but he's a dog. How

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can he call someone something he can't talk. I said, no,

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but it's just a bit of fun. She said, no,

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we don't have fun here. This is this is a

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very serious place. I said, I don't know. It's a

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serious place, but we're still, you know, try to have

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a little bit of fun, little bit of verbal play.

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And in fact, he actually calls Vinie sausages now, so

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he's Uncle sausages and Vinnie's sausages. And she said, but

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what do you want? I said, Okay, if I'm BlimE me,

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I think it's because I didn't want to run away

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with her, but hey, it's just me. Maybe I'm just

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being a little bit egotistical. But I actually had that

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look at her eye when she said should run away together,

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almost like she had a bag packed already and it

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was hidden in the toilet. Why would it be hit

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not inside a toilet, but like maybe your little cabinet

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a lock her maybe anyway, So I said, well, here's

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a situation. Uncle's sausages. He's very, very agitated and anxious.

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Is there anything you can do? She said, oh, she said,

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we'll explain what you mean. So basically, when I go

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there and when he phones me up, he tells him

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all this stuff that he thinks is happening. Very I

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don't want to be rude about him, but it's like

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very conspiratorial, potentially hallucinatory, paranoy paranoiary, you know. So he's

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already been told in the past, you know that he's

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being paranoid, and he's got very angry with that. He said,

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I never want to hear that word again. I said, okay,

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So I'm speaking to the nurse outside the ward, you know,

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just she said, Well, he doesn't tell us any of

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this stuff. He just says everything's fine. I said, I know,

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he's just you know, it's hard to help someone if

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they don't tell you. She said, Well, I don't know

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what we can do. I said, well, is there any

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chance he can see get some kind of evaluation from

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the a psychiatrist to see whether it is if it's

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the condition he's got, or maybe it's a previous mental

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health issue that's a re arisen because I don't know

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his background. And you know, there's no judgment from my

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perspective because I've I'm a bit of a mental myself,

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and I so I do have something. I've got something

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to tell you later. It's I got I've got a

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letter through today from the council tax people. So the

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council tax is kind of like it used to be

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called rates, and it covers things like, I suppose everything

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that's done by the local council, roads and waste and

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all that kind of stuff. So I got let's saying

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that I was exempt from council tax for the next

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year due to being get this right, and this is

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because of the benefits agency contacted them or my doctor.

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They contented my contact with my doctor and my doctor.

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You know, I'm not sure quite how they got their information.

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It's really weird seeing this in print. This is what

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they said. I'm not going to get up and read

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it because it means disturbing a little one, but it's

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etched in my brain. You are exempt from paying counsel

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tax for the next year due to severe what was it,

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severe mental impairment? Severe mental impairment. That doesn't sound good,

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does it. That doesn't make me sound like a hero.

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I mean I kind of in a way. Rather pay

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fifteen pound a month to not hear those words or

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not to see that in writing, to not be called

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severely mentally impaired. I know it's just another way to

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explain my brain not working properly. But BlimE me, blimin neck.

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So I said to the nurse, I said, is there

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a chance she can go and have someone come and

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give him evaluation and see how he is or something

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else she can do? She said, well, legal with me.

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I'll go and find it out. I'm going to find out.

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And she walks away and she turns back and says,

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are you sure don't want to do the cruise? I

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said no, I want to say I'm fine, thanks, And

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she turned away just honestly stomped. She was just slamming

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her feet on the ground as she walked away. I'm

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going to get that a lot. You know, I don't,

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I am I saying this anyway, So go back into

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the room with mister sausages, mister Uncle's sausages, and we're

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just chatting. I managed to disrupt his flow and redirect

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him to something else other than what he was talking about,

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because I didn't I didn't really think it was much

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use to him getting angry, you know, so I thought,

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just distract him a little bit, focus on something different.

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And the nurse came back in probably about fifteen minutes later.

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Bearing in mind that, well, here's a subtlety. This is

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the subtlety, subtlety level of this nurse. She came in,

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she looked at me. First of all, she's talking about

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him in front of him. To me, didn't even look

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at him. I'm afraid, Uncle Sausages. He can't have a

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psychiatric review. They won't come and see him. I'm like,

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it's right there. It's like what's going on. It's like

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it's weird, very weird. And then she said, but we're

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going to give him some The doctors prescribed some medication

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to help him with the paranoia, and shouted that word

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out really loud again. Directed just talking to me. He

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was not happy because it sounds like I was talking

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about it and being paranoid. And it was just they

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know his situation. They know that what is some of

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the stuff he said in the past. It's just the

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last few days he's been quiet, just telling me. So

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they said, we can give him some medication tonight. I

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won't give it during the day because it'll be tired.

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I don't know what it was. I thought they were

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going to give him something to help clear away that stuff,

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you know, clear away the toxins from his blood. I

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really don't know what it was. I'm not great with medication.

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And I said to Uncle Sausages here, okay with that?

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He said, because he was hiding his medication before, he

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didn't want to take it. And I said, look, I

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wouldn't never let any want to hurt you. And he said,

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I know. I said, no, seriously, if this is if

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you know, this is a medication I would take if

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I had to, if it was going to help. The

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only medication they're going to give you is to help you.

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They're not here to do anything but help. That's his

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sole purpose, you know. When they come into your room,

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it's to help you, nothing else. And he kind of

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I think, pretended to agree with me, and then he

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was kind of cheered up for the rest of the day.

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The rest of the morning I was with him, cheered up.

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He was quite jovial. I went and got gotten some

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sort of stuff to eat from downstairs in the hospital,

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and we talked about the golf and he seemed all right.

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He seemed, you know, fairly okay, you know, all figs considered.

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And I had a miss call for him yes late

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afternoon yesterday. I was probably having my mid afternoon nap.

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So I called him back. No answer. I called him

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back again, called him back again in Gooden back, called

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him back, called him back again quite a few times

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last night. Then I called him again this morning quite

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a few times, and he was not answering. Now either

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he had his phone on silent because his phone was

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on because it was ringing, or well, there's no way.

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It's really loud. Now. I know his hearing is not great,

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but it's very very loud. I mean the whole hospital

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can hear it. I mean, in fact, if I stick

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my head out of the window, I can hear it.

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I can't. I don't know why I said that. I

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really stick my head out of the window. And while

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my giraffe, my head wouldn't fit out the window, we'd

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fit out the window. But there's a window there isn't

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there doesn't open that wide for me to just so.

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Eventually I called him up this afternoon and the answer

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was the phone, and I said, I've got sausages. He said, yeah,

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really quiet the way he was talking. I said, you're right,

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he said, I said, so you. I've been trying to

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call you all morning and last night he said, I

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was asleep. I'm al to you know. I said, wow,

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is that okay? You know? And of course you're allowed

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to sleep. I'm not saying you're not allowed to sleep,

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I'm just making sure that you're okay because I did

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find the hospital earlier. I didn't tell him this about

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to find the hospital area this area earlier early on,

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just to find out if he's okay. And they went

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into his room and they said, yeah, it's fine. I

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think he started barking. What was I talking about? Oh yeah,

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the nurses in there telling me that just oh no,

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I would have done that, but oh yeah. So I'm

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talking to him on the phone, and not only is

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he talking really quietly, it sounds like he's asleep, like

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he's almost half, well three quarters asleep, not even half asleep. Really,

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Oh yeah, you know, I'm thinking I kind of hope

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it's the medication, to be fair, But at the same time,

231
00:21:24.559 --> 00:21:28.960
because I was hoping that whatever medication they gave him

232
00:21:30.480 --> 00:21:37.759
would reduce his anxiety levels, that's it, and then maybe

233
00:21:37.799 --> 00:21:44.359
he he'd be because it's he's stuck in there and

234
00:21:44.400 --> 00:21:46.599
he's had enough, you know, he's had enough of being there,

235
00:21:46.680 --> 00:21:50.240
and he's waiting to be moved into a nursing home,

236
00:21:50.279 --> 00:21:57.359
and he's just you know, he's just bored, bored. But

237
00:21:57.440 --> 00:22:00.960
even yesterday he said he wasn't even bothered about He said,

238
00:22:01.039 --> 00:22:05.960
you can take the iPad back if you want. I

239
00:22:06.039 --> 00:22:10.319
never expected that, because you can watch movies and you

240
00:22:10.359 --> 00:22:15.960
can watch I realized, I'm not sure how much meaning

241
00:22:16.000 --> 00:22:20.759
that stuff would have to him. But still there is

242
00:22:20.799 --> 00:22:23.440
still sport on. There's always some kind of sport on

243
00:22:23.519 --> 00:22:33.039
around the world. And he did say yesterday he just

244
00:22:33.200 --> 00:22:36.720
needed some sleep. He says it a couple of times,

245
00:22:36.960 --> 00:22:39.480
because he said he's not getting much sleep. I just

246
00:22:39.519 --> 00:22:43.079
need some sleep. So I think he got it last night.

247
00:22:43.759 --> 00:22:45.880
He got a good night's sleep. For the first time,

248
00:22:46.039 --> 00:22:56.480
possibly in weeks. And I think that in itself might

249
00:22:56.480 --> 00:22:59.680
have cleared his brain a little bit, might have made

250
00:22:59.720 --> 00:23:07.319
him a little bit more himself. I was gonna this

251
00:23:07.359 --> 00:23:09.279
is this is a day I don't go and see him.

252
00:23:09.279 --> 00:23:15.599
On Tuesday. I nearly went up there, nearly, but I

253
00:23:15.680 --> 00:23:20.519
thought I'll wait, just, you know, in case he does

254
00:23:20.559 --> 00:23:22.240
call me. And he did in the end. One night,

255
00:23:22.440 --> 00:23:25.319
he did answer in the end, and then he hung

256
00:23:25.400 --> 00:23:29.240
up while he was talking to me. And he phoned

257
00:23:29.279 --> 00:23:31.759
me about an hour ago, a half an hour ago.

258
00:23:31.960 --> 00:23:36.200
I answered, and there was nothing. I could just hear him,

259
00:23:36.200 --> 00:23:39.160
but he wasn't. I hear him breathing, but I couldn't

260
00:23:39.200 --> 00:23:42.240
hear him. He didn't say anything to me, So I

261
00:23:42.279 --> 00:23:46.880
think he might have accidentally phoned me, just holding the

262
00:23:46.920 --> 00:23:52.640
phone or something. So I'll go and see him in

263
00:23:52.720 --> 00:23:56.359
the morning. And I want to speak to his nurse

264
00:23:56.480 --> 00:23:59.880
to see because he might not have actually had any table,

265
00:24:00.319 --> 00:24:03.359
because sometimes, you know, they're so busy in there, they

266
00:24:03.440 --> 00:24:06.480
might have just forgotten. Because he's in this little room

267
00:24:06.519 --> 00:24:10.279
on his zone. It's a little bit out the way.

268
00:24:10.559 --> 00:24:13.039
They might you know, they're busy with all the other

269
00:24:13.119 --> 00:24:22.119
people and it's you know, human error. Sometimes they forget stuff,

270
00:24:22.920 --> 00:24:26.880
so they might have forgotten to give him the medication.

271
00:24:27.519 --> 00:24:30.680
And because he's had twenty four hours, the staff are

272
00:24:30.759 --> 00:24:34.519
changing over, aren't they. So he's dealing with a different

273
00:24:34.599 --> 00:24:38.519
nurse at night, a different nurse during the day, and

274
00:24:38.559 --> 00:24:41.680
then maybe a different nurse a day after because all

275
00:24:41.720 --> 00:24:44.960
on different rotors and stuff. So I'm not sure if

276
00:24:44.960 --> 00:24:48.400
they do twelve hour shifts, so it might have three

277
00:24:48.440 --> 00:24:55.960
different nurses during the twenty four hours period. I mean,

278
00:24:56.000 --> 00:24:58.640
he hasn't had the same nurse three days in a row.

279
00:24:58.680 --> 00:25:03.119
I don't think it's different. Yeah, it's I've spoken to

280
00:25:03.279 --> 00:25:07.960
I think four different nurses so far in that ward,

281
00:25:09.640 --> 00:25:17.599
maybe five, and they've all been great. It's just it's

282
00:25:19.079 --> 00:25:23.839
I mean, one was a little bit. I don't know.

283
00:25:24.160 --> 00:25:27.400
There's something about talking about talking about the patient in

284
00:25:27.440 --> 00:25:31.000
front of the patient when the patient's actually looking at that.

285
00:25:31.640 --> 00:25:36.039
I don't know if I do. I'd enjoy that myself.

286
00:25:37.640 --> 00:25:42.480
I mean I've talked about him. I've asked questions to

287
00:25:42.599 --> 00:25:46.359
doctors when the doctor's been there and Uncle Sausages has

288
00:25:46.400 --> 00:25:50.359
been there and I'm there, and because Uncle Sausages won't

289
00:25:50.359 --> 00:25:54.839
ask any questions, I asked the questions, but I include

290
00:25:55.200 --> 00:26:00.160
Uncle Sausages in it. I don't just like talk about him.

291
00:26:00.559 --> 00:26:04.200
I'm kind of talking with him, if that makes sense,

292
00:26:05.839 --> 00:26:11.519
Like I'm another mouth. That was weird, I'm Uncle sausages

293
00:26:11.599 --> 00:26:17.839
second mouth. Yeah, that's very very strange, very strange visual.

294
00:26:20.759 --> 00:26:27.039
So I hope that when I see him tomorrow he's

295
00:26:28.960 --> 00:26:34.799
all right, because he sounded very It's like it wasn't there.

296
00:26:36.960 --> 00:26:43.480
And I know that different medication can have different effects

297
00:26:43.480 --> 00:26:48.799
in that, but just that was kind of Oh, I

298
00:26:48.839 --> 00:26:51.440
don't know, I don't know want to think, So I'll

299
00:26:51.440 --> 00:26:54.880
go and speak to his nurse tomorrow and ask what

300
00:26:54.960 --> 00:26:59.279
he's been given and whether or not that's normal for

301
00:26:59.359 --> 00:27:03.319
those side of things, or whether it's there's another reason

302
00:27:03.480 --> 00:27:09.079
for it. But yeah, that's kind of it really, Although

303
00:27:09.079 --> 00:27:12.640
he did he did say something about how his jumper

304
00:27:12.640 --> 00:27:17.400
had been stolen this morning or this afternoon, so I

305
00:27:17.440 --> 00:27:20.359
don't know what's going on there. I said, I'll speak

306
00:27:20.359 --> 00:27:25.759
to you tomorrow and we'll work it out. And the

307
00:27:25.839 --> 00:27:29.920
other day I took in I bought him some tomato

308
00:27:30.000 --> 00:27:34.119
ketchup sachets because I took him in my tomato ketchup

309
00:27:34.839 --> 00:27:37.799
in a bottle. But that made a bit of a mess.

310
00:27:37.880 --> 00:27:39.759
So I thought he said, I'd rather have them in

311
00:27:39.839 --> 00:27:43.079
sachets because that's what he's used to. So I ordered

312
00:27:45.279 --> 00:27:49.200
lots of sachets on nine on Amazon, took them in

313
00:27:49.200 --> 00:27:53.680
his big old bag of them, and he found that funny.

314
00:27:54.640 --> 00:27:57.480
And I think he thought I was just going to

315
00:27:57.559 --> 00:28:00.920
go into McDonald's and just grab a handful something like that.

316
00:28:01.079 --> 00:28:05.839
Is like no, no, no, no, no no no. Anyway

317
00:28:05.880 --> 00:28:10.319
I went. He did the same thing on for a Friday.

318
00:28:10.359 --> 00:28:15.160
He said, no, yesterday, Sorry, I've run out of sugar. No,

319
00:28:15.720 --> 00:28:26.039
he said the what did they say something about didn't

320
00:28:26.079 --> 00:28:31.960
have any sugar to put in his tea? Mane? Was

321
00:28:32.000 --> 00:28:34.440
it his tea or was it something? What else would

322
00:28:34.480 --> 00:28:39.160
you have sugar on? He had something, but he didn't

323
00:28:39.160 --> 00:28:42.559
have any sugar, and he said it ruined it. Not

324
00:28:42.680 --> 00:28:48.079
ice cream, because that would be unnecessary, wouldn't it mind you?

325
00:28:48.119 --> 00:28:52.839
It might taste nice bit of sugar on some ice cream,

326
00:28:52.880 --> 00:28:54.720
Not something that I would do because I'm not supposed

327
00:28:54.720 --> 00:29:02.359
to really have sugar. Not a hot dog. What was

328
00:29:02.400 --> 00:29:12.200
he needed sugar for? Maybe it was yeah, maybe it

329
00:29:12.279 --> 00:29:19.400
was for a cup of tea cover coffee? Or isn't

330
00:29:19.440 --> 00:29:24.000
another their plane's going past all day, can you hear that?

331
00:29:33.839 --> 00:29:36.240
I don't really know why, because I don't think there's

332
00:29:36.240 --> 00:29:42.480
any kind of celebrations. There's no d D double DD Eday,

333
00:29:44.279 --> 00:29:51.480
King's Birthday, celebrations, V Day, VD Day. There's none of

334
00:29:51.480 --> 00:29:54.319
those stuff because there's a lot of those different days.

335
00:29:55.079 --> 00:29:59.960
And we get all the aircraft flying over towards London

336
00:30:00.160 --> 00:30:02.680
and the fly back and they probably come from different

337
00:30:02.680 --> 00:30:06.839
parts of the country to do a big old flyover

338
00:30:07.640 --> 00:30:12.920
over London Trafalgar Square or wherever they do it, but

339
00:30:14.839 --> 00:30:19.559
or the Senotaph. I don't know where the Senotaph is. However,

340
00:30:20.359 --> 00:30:23.880
today I don't think there is a particular thing on.

341
00:30:24.039 --> 00:30:27.599
I mean there might be, I'm just not aware of it.

342
00:30:28.240 --> 00:30:31.960
There might well be a big celebration going on today.

343
00:30:32.000 --> 00:30:39.680
I don't know. I didn't know. Oh yes, anyways at all.

344
00:30:41.240 --> 00:30:46.359
She gave me tea but no sugar, so I thought, okay,

345
00:30:46.880 --> 00:30:49.400
and he asked for the sugar, but she didn't come back.

346
00:30:50.480 --> 00:30:53.119
So I thought, I'll sort you out some sugar, and

347
00:30:53.160 --> 00:30:56.519
so I bought him on Amazon again. They're not being

348
00:30:56.559 --> 00:31:01.200
delivered yet, No, they haven't. No one hundred and forty

349
00:31:01.359 --> 00:31:03.599
packs of sugar like the long ones that you get

350
00:31:03.720 --> 00:31:07.319
in cafes and you know, you open the end up

351
00:31:07.359 --> 00:31:09.480
and just pour it in. So you've got one hundred

352
00:31:09.519 --> 00:31:13.799
and forty of them come in. So I'll hopefully it

353
00:31:13.839 --> 00:31:17.200
should be delivered today and i'd take him to him

354
00:31:17.200 --> 00:31:21.359
tomorrow morning. I'm just trying to kind of give him

355
00:31:21.359 --> 00:31:24.599
what he needs, just to it's those little comforts because

356
00:31:29.200 --> 00:31:32.519
in his situation, I'm sure as heck would not be

357
00:31:32.599 --> 00:31:36.519
drinking tea without sugar. I would be having sugar with

358
00:31:36.680 --> 00:31:43.319
everything because I like sugar. I just unfortunately have to

359
00:31:43.319 --> 00:31:46.119
be a little bit careful with it, A little bit careful,

360
00:31:47.839 --> 00:31:57.519
not as careful as I should be. Probably, yeah, I'm not.

361
00:31:57.640 --> 00:32:02.119
Literally I haven't bought a bag of sugar for well

362
00:32:02.160 --> 00:32:07.680
over a year now, yeah, well over probably a year

363
00:32:07.680 --> 00:32:11.039
and a half. Whenever it was that I was told

364
00:32:11.039 --> 00:32:15.559
that I had to cut down and loose some weight,

365
00:32:18.519 --> 00:32:20.960
and I stopped with the sugar. No more sugar and

366
00:32:21.000 --> 00:32:24.880
breakfast cereal, no more sugar and tea or coffee or

367
00:32:24.880 --> 00:32:28.960
though I don't drink coffee anymore, although I did drink

368
00:32:29.000 --> 00:32:31.559
coffee the other day, so that I'm just pretty much

369
00:32:31.599 --> 00:32:37.319
just lied. Didn't know I used to have coffee used

370
00:32:37.319 --> 00:32:41.240
to have one cup of coffee every morning with my

371
00:32:41.359 --> 00:32:50.960
breakfast for quite some time, possibly years, and then the

372
00:32:51.000 --> 00:32:55.799
rest of the day I would have tea. This is

373
00:32:55.839 --> 00:32:59.839
when I stopped drinking coke before that old not really

374
00:33:00.200 --> 00:33:03.000
to you all, I just have cans of coke, but

375
00:33:03.359 --> 00:33:07.200
I stopped drinking coke. So can you know tea cups

376
00:33:07.240 --> 00:33:10.519
of tea and a fair bit of water? I do.

377
00:33:11.119 --> 00:33:17.160
I've always been quite an avid, avid, regular water drinker,

378
00:33:19.039 --> 00:33:29.319
and yeah, since since I was a kid. Really anyway,

379
00:33:30.000 --> 00:33:33.240
I ran out of coffee. This is even more boring

380
00:33:33.279 --> 00:33:36.480
that I wanted it to be. I do you ever

381
00:33:36.559 --> 00:33:40.559
stop yourself at heart, like midway in a sentence and

382
00:33:40.640 --> 00:33:45.480
think this is really boring? This is even this is

383
00:33:45.519 --> 00:33:50.240
too boring. I can't finish this sentence. It's just too

384
00:33:51.599 --> 00:33:55.079
I've got to do a U turn. This is really

385
00:33:55.200 --> 00:33:58.200
going to be tedious. Why am I even saying this?

386
00:33:59.599 --> 00:34:02.440
I'll think I'll continue, but I'm just just letting you know.

387
00:34:03.079 --> 00:34:07.200
I'm talking about coffee. What I talk about coffee? It's

388
00:34:07.240 --> 00:34:10.519
got to be more interesting things to talk about. Yeah,

389
00:34:10.639 --> 00:34:13.119
but it's supposed to be boring, isn't it. It's supposed

390
00:34:13.159 --> 00:34:17.199
to be bullying. Yeah, but there's a limit. There's a

391
00:34:17.280 --> 00:34:21.400
limit to boredom. I mean, I might as well just

392
00:34:21.880 --> 00:34:24.239
count how many times I've cut my toenails in the

393
00:34:24.320 --> 00:34:27.679
last ten years. It's on the same level of like

394
00:34:27.880 --> 00:34:35.960
complete tedium. Anyway, I finished the exciting story. So I

395
00:34:36.000 --> 00:34:41.280
was drinking coffee every day, one cup of day. That

396
00:34:41.440 --> 00:34:44.960
was my limit, A little bit of kickstart to today

397
00:34:45.000 --> 00:34:53.159
it was yeah, that's all right, and then dun I

398
00:34:53.280 --> 00:34:58.519
ran out of coffee and there was no coffee available. Basically,

399
00:34:58.519 --> 00:35:01.440
I have my delivery delivered, the coffee was missing. There

400
00:35:01.440 --> 00:35:07.639
was none available, so I just had tea bags and

401
00:35:07.679 --> 00:35:09.960
I thought, what am I going to do? A cup

402
00:35:10.000 --> 00:35:13.480
of tea is not going to solve the issue. It's

403
00:35:13.559 --> 00:35:17.480
not the same as a cup of coffee. Now, at

404
00:35:17.519 --> 00:35:22.119
this time, I was drinking coffee and tea with sugar,

405
00:35:24.440 --> 00:35:27.760
so that's when the coffee finished before I stopped with

406
00:35:27.840 --> 00:35:33.360
the sugar, which is just as well, because there's no

407
00:35:33.480 --> 00:35:36.960
way in the world I'm ever what I say never,

408
00:35:37.039 --> 00:35:44.199
but generally I wouldn't drink coffee without sugar. It ain't happening.

409
00:35:46.480 --> 00:35:49.880
And I had a cost as coffee the other day.

410
00:35:50.639 --> 00:35:54.079
First coffee in yeah, probably a year. Well, over a year,

411
00:35:54.519 --> 00:35:59.719
and I had a couple of at least one or

412
00:35:59.719 --> 00:36:03.039
two sugars in it. I can't have I can't have

413
00:36:03.039 --> 00:36:08.239
coffee without sugar. Ain't going to happen. But as I

414
00:36:08.280 --> 00:36:11.000
was only having one coffee, you know, one coffee a

415
00:36:11.079 --> 00:36:16.760
year is allowed, I would say I would hazard a

416
00:36:16.840 --> 00:36:21.239
gift that I'd be okay with that, although I did

417
00:36:21.320 --> 00:36:25.920
feel a bit weird having all like caffeine running through me,

418
00:36:28.760 --> 00:36:34.960
the buzz ah. So yeah, I haven't had coffee really

419
00:36:35.000 --> 00:36:39.039
other than you know, when I did have coffee. I

420
00:36:39.119 --> 00:36:41.559
never drink coffee apart from when I do drink coffee.

421
00:36:41.960 --> 00:36:50.360
That's just a weird sentence, very weird. You used to

422
00:36:50.440 --> 00:36:54.280
drink a lot of coffee. I've been through phases in

423
00:36:54.320 --> 00:37:03.119
my life where like between the ages of seven and fifteen,

424
00:37:05.519 --> 00:37:17.840
maybe sixteen, yeah, fifteen sixteen, I was drinking coffee regularly.

425
00:37:18.760 --> 00:37:23.599
I drinking tea regularly. Sorry, just part of that was

426
00:37:23.639 --> 00:37:27.440
the culture. I drink tea. I don't have the occasional coffee,

427
00:37:27.480 --> 00:37:32.320
but not that often, not in the evening. But i'd

428
00:37:32.320 --> 00:37:35.920
have a coffee sometimes eleven Z's with a cup of

429
00:37:35.920 --> 00:37:48.079
coffee and some biscuits, you know, on a weekend and stuff. Yeah,

430
00:37:48.119 --> 00:37:50.800
I have cups of tea that would be kind of normal.

431
00:37:52.320 --> 00:38:00.840
But then when I left school, I didn't really drink

432
00:38:01.280 --> 00:38:06.039
much in a way of tea. I mean, I did

433
00:38:06.159 --> 00:38:11.519
drink tea, but not a lot of tea. I think,

434
00:38:12.280 --> 00:38:16.639
you know, once I got sort of sixteen seventeen eighteen,

435
00:38:17.880 --> 00:38:20.480
it was I suppose I had a bit more choice,

436
00:38:21.920 --> 00:38:25.239
didn't have to stick to tea because I was the

437
00:38:25.280 --> 00:38:31.440
one buying what I was drinking. And yeah, I think

438
00:38:31.440 --> 00:38:42.800
I started drinking more coke and more water, just trying

439
00:38:42.800 --> 00:38:46.719
to think, just you know, bits, just whatever. Really I

440
00:38:46.880 --> 00:38:49.800
can't remember, probably quite a bit of water because I

441
00:38:49.840 --> 00:38:54.199
was working the hot environment, but definitely drinking coke other

442
00:38:54.280 --> 00:38:57.679
cans of drink. Lilt. I used to like lilt when

443
00:38:57.679 --> 00:39:03.320
I was about sixteen. Oh my goodness, lilt. It was lovely.

444
00:39:03.760 --> 00:39:11.440
It was gorgeous. Mm hmmm. It's a little bit like

445
00:39:11.559 --> 00:39:23.480
fencer really but lemon lemonye not lemon. But I don't

446
00:39:23.519 --> 00:39:29.400
know how to explain a bit. I liked it, and

447
00:39:31.360 --> 00:39:36.400
so I went quite a few years where probably the

448
00:39:36.440 --> 00:39:44.320
only time I'd drink tea would perhaps be first thing

449
00:39:44.360 --> 00:39:48.199
in the morning with my breakfast. So that was kind

450
00:39:48.199 --> 00:39:50.079
of a regular thing. I'd have a cup of tea

451
00:39:50.320 --> 00:39:58.360
my breakfast, and then during the nineties, i'd have a

452
00:39:58.400 --> 00:40:05.280
pint of milk with my evening meal and water. So

453
00:40:05.320 --> 00:40:07.920
that was all i'd have in the evening, milk and

454
00:40:08.000 --> 00:40:13.039
water unless I went out, and then i'd have For

455
00:40:13.119 --> 00:40:15.400
a lot of the nineties, I would never drunk alcohol,

456
00:40:15.519 --> 00:40:20.960
so i'd just be drinking. I'd order a coke and

457
00:40:21.719 --> 00:40:24.760
i'd try and make the coke of coca glass, the

458
00:40:24.840 --> 00:40:30.199
glass of coke last as possible. So I'll try and

459
00:40:30.239 --> 00:40:33.639
get that sentence out properly. Now, I'd try and make

460
00:40:33.840 --> 00:40:37.920
a glass of coke last as long as possible. Because

461
00:40:39.559 --> 00:40:43.199
it wasn't just that I was tight, but I didn't

462
00:40:43.280 --> 00:40:51.039
have lots of money money, So I'd go out and

463
00:40:51.079 --> 00:40:53.519
i'd have like maybe ten pounds five or ten pounds

464
00:40:53.519 --> 00:41:00.719
to last me for the whole evening. You know that

465
00:41:00.719 --> 00:41:06.559
that was it. So what I did is I mean

466
00:41:07.159 --> 00:41:08.880
not all the time. There was periods when I had

467
00:41:08.920 --> 00:41:13.360
a bit more, a bit more cash than others, and

468
00:41:13.440 --> 00:41:22.920
maybe I would drink, you know, I think ninety four

469
00:41:23.000 --> 00:41:26.000
in the summer I started drinking, like going out drinking

470
00:41:26.039 --> 00:41:29.280
and stuff really like regularly but that was like a

471
00:41:29.320 --> 00:41:33.559
for a summer eighty nine I did as well, but

472
00:41:33.599 --> 00:41:41.199
I was just for the summer. Outside of that. During

473
00:41:41.199 --> 00:41:44.039
the whole of the nineties, other than when I was

474
00:41:44.079 --> 00:41:47.280
working and earn a cup of tea from the machine

475
00:41:50.559 --> 00:41:54.159
or a cup of coffee, I didn't drink you know,

476
00:41:54.360 --> 00:41:57.000
tier coffee, so that'd be maybe two or three a day.

477
00:41:57.639 --> 00:42:00.519
But there was like tiny little those tiny little plastic

478
00:42:00.599 --> 00:42:07.840
cups and yeah, so I didn't really bother with tea.

479
00:42:07.880 --> 00:42:14.239
And then in the two thousands, actually in two thousand,

480
00:42:14.480 --> 00:42:21.119
I got real really excited about tea again, which is weird,

481
00:42:22.440 --> 00:42:29.000
not excited, but I liked drinking tea, so I was

482
00:42:29.039 --> 00:42:38.039
getting through more tea during the day in two thousand

483
00:42:38.079 --> 00:42:45.000
and two thousand and one, and then two thousand and two. Well,

484
00:42:45.000 --> 00:42:48.159
at the end of two thousand and one two thousand

485
00:42:48.159 --> 00:42:52.079
and two, I was drinking huge amounts of coffee at

486
00:42:52.119 --> 00:43:00.519
work and that didn't do me any good. In two

487
00:43:00.639 --> 00:43:04.920
thousand and three, I pretty much stopped drinking coffee. It

488
00:43:05.039 --> 00:43:08.599
came out from a machine, so that wasn't Yeah, it

489
00:43:08.679 --> 00:43:15.960
was a bit rubbish, so I stopped doing that. I

490
00:43:16.519 --> 00:43:18.840
didn't and I think I really had much I suppose

491
00:43:18.880 --> 00:43:22.920
I get the odd coffee or tea, you know, leading

492
00:43:23.000 --> 00:43:29.440
into two thousand and seven when I stopped working in insurance,

493
00:43:29.840 --> 00:43:33.679
So it was about now this time of the year.

494
00:43:34.639 --> 00:43:39.440
In two thousand and seven, I basically as my second

495
00:43:41.000 --> 00:43:46.679
insurance job, second out of three, and I was part

496
00:43:46.760 --> 00:43:47.719
time because i'd.

497
00:43:47.480 --> 00:43:48.079
Be nil.

498
00:43:51.440 --> 00:43:56.239
In two thousand and six, nearing the I think it

499
00:43:56.239 --> 00:44:01.280
was September time, two thousand and six, and I had

500
00:44:01.280 --> 00:44:05.559
some time off and they allowed me to go back

501
00:44:05.639 --> 00:44:08.639
part time after about a month off work, so I

502
00:44:08.679 --> 00:44:15.679
went back part time. That suited me perfectly because I

503
00:44:15.679 --> 00:44:19.840
could then do volunteering and I can do you know,

504
00:44:19.960 --> 00:44:23.519
the other stuff that I was doing. It's really good.

505
00:44:24.840 --> 00:44:29.800
And I was earning enough to get by just you know.

506
00:44:29.800 --> 00:44:31.639
It wasn't a lot, but I had enough to pay

507
00:44:31.679 --> 00:44:36.719
the rent and buy the food and have enough just

508
00:44:37.519 --> 00:44:45.039
bits and bops, you know. But then in I think

509
00:44:45.119 --> 00:44:50.559
it was June two thousand and seven, they hauled me

510
00:44:50.639 --> 00:44:54.559
into the office by a haul. They didn't they just

511
00:44:54.599 --> 00:45:00.920
asked me to go in there and about seven footsteps

512
00:45:00.920 --> 00:45:04.039
from where my desk was, so it wasn't a big deal. Anyway.

513
00:45:04.039 --> 00:45:11.000
I walked in there and my boss said we need

514
00:45:11.039 --> 00:45:16.000
you to go full time again. I said, no, I

515
00:45:16.039 --> 00:45:19.440
don't want to. He said, but we want you to.

516
00:45:19.960 --> 00:45:24.920
I said, I don't want to do because, other than

517
00:45:24.920 --> 00:45:31.599
anything else I had, I liked that job. Now you

518
00:45:31.639 --> 00:45:37.519
won't hear me say that about many of my jobs

519
00:45:37.559 --> 00:45:40.519
I've had in the past. And I've had a lot

520
00:45:40.519 --> 00:45:46.920
of jobs, like lots and lots and lots. That's one

521
00:45:46.920 --> 00:45:56.920
of the few jobs that I actually I didn't Yeah,

522
00:45:57.159 --> 00:46:01.920
Sunday wasn't tarnished by thinking about going to work on

523
00:46:01.960 --> 00:46:05.920
a Monday. I didn't have that anymore because I was

524
00:46:06.000 --> 00:46:08.559
doing it part time. I liked the job full time

525
00:46:08.599 --> 00:46:17.039
as well, but I just I just struggled to keep

526
00:46:17.079 --> 00:46:20.559
it going. And I don't know how long i'd lasted

527
00:46:21.280 --> 00:46:25.480
part time, but I did quite well because I've been

528
00:46:25.519 --> 00:46:37.159
part time since probably October. Yes, I did like seven

529
00:46:37.239 --> 00:46:40.920
or eight months part time, so I was holding it together.

530
00:46:41.559 --> 00:46:43.719
I had a couple of weeks off, but other than that,

531
00:46:45.000 --> 00:46:53.599
I was doing all right. And I mean, chances are

532
00:46:54.039 --> 00:47:00.920
I I might still be there if they'll let me.

533
00:47:02.079 --> 00:47:04.639
I mean I wouldn't still be there because the whole

534
00:47:04.639 --> 00:47:11.480
place closed down. They made everyone redundant, so and that

535
00:47:11.679 --> 00:47:14.519
was kind of coming. I kind of knew that as well.

536
00:47:14.760 --> 00:47:16.320
I think that's part of the reason why I was

537
00:47:16.679 --> 00:47:25.480
not so well. But it was, yeah, all things being

538
00:47:26.360 --> 00:47:30.519
equal and being good, I liked the job. I was

539
00:47:30.559 --> 00:47:35.280
good at the job. This is I'd moved from working

540
00:47:35.280 --> 00:47:40.519
in sales to listening to people's phone calls to make

541
00:47:40.599 --> 00:47:43.119
sure that they were doing the job correctly. So I

542
00:47:43.199 --> 00:47:51.920
was in compliance and I was very good at listening, concentrating.

543
00:47:52.320 --> 00:47:56.199
I had headphones and stuff, and I wasn't actually I

544
00:47:56.239 --> 00:48:00.639
wasn't sitting on the desk listening to people talking and

545
00:48:00.880 --> 00:48:03.840
you know it's actually recorded calls, because that would have

546
00:48:03.840 --> 00:48:10.360
been off putting, wouldn't it Just sitting there one egg

547
00:48:10.400 --> 00:48:12.880
cup from the customer and when it a cup with

548
00:48:13.039 --> 00:48:22.280
string from the the salesperson, a cup, yoga cup. Anyway,

549
00:48:22.320 --> 00:48:32.119
that's just a silly thing, silly visual. And uh, yeah,

550
00:48:32.599 --> 00:48:37.559
I was quite good at it. Not not sure, not

551
00:48:38.159 --> 00:48:42.199
playing my own trumpet, violin or whatever instrument. It's just

552
00:48:42.360 --> 00:48:45.400
you know, it's a factual thing. Was for some reason,

553
00:48:45.440 --> 00:48:50.400
I was pretty good at doing that. So I didn't

554
00:48:50.400 --> 00:48:56.800
want to leave, But at the same time, I didn't

555
00:48:57.920 --> 00:49:02.360
feel like a go full time again. At that point,

556
00:49:02.440 --> 00:49:05.320
I didn't think I could go full time anywhere. I

557
00:49:05.400 --> 00:49:10.639
just didn't because I'd already Oh man, the amount of

558
00:49:10.639 --> 00:49:16.559
times that I've had issues, you know, I had to

559
00:49:16.599 --> 00:49:22.760
have time off and stuff with different jobs. So I

560
00:49:22.800 --> 00:49:26.000
was like, Okay, I want to stay here. I like

561
00:49:27.320 --> 00:49:31.519
I like the company, I like the people I work with.

562
00:49:32.840 --> 00:49:37.679
I like the job. It's easy. It's challenging at times,

563
00:49:37.679 --> 00:49:43.280
but generally quite easy for me. And I got me

564
00:49:43.360 --> 00:49:45.159
really well with my little team, and I was in.

565
00:49:47.440 --> 00:49:54.800
But then yeah, it was a choice of like, go

566
00:49:54.880 --> 00:49:58.880
full time or leave. That was it. And I said, okay,

567
00:49:58.920 --> 00:50:02.360
I'll go back full time. And then I came back

568
00:50:02.400 --> 00:50:13.159
the next day. I said I'm leaving. And I had

569
00:50:13.280 --> 00:50:17.880
no idea what I was going to do. Well, I

570
00:50:17.920 --> 00:50:21.159
knew I was going to leave. That was it. I

571
00:50:21.199 --> 00:50:26.960
think I think I was sort of doing a little gamble.

572
00:50:28.039 --> 00:50:32.960
I was hoping that they would say, oh no, no, no, no,

573
00:50:33.639 --> 00:50:37.559
run after me. Oh no, juicy jaj we need you.

574
00:50:37.639 --> 00:50:40.840
It's it's okay, you can, you can stay part time.

575
00:50:42.880 --> 00:50:45.159
I'll employ someone else to come in and I'll pay

576
00:50:45.239 --> 00:50:48.679
out my own wages, someone extra to do the extra work.

577
00:50:49.639 --> 00:50:56.239
We can't lose you. But no, that didn't happen. It

578
00:50:56.360 --> 00:51:03.599
was weird because when I left, I just said goodbye

579
00:51:03.679 --> 00:51:06.239
to But by this point my boss had away left

580
00:51:08.199 --> 00:51:12.639
and all I had was the lady that I was

581
00:51:12.679 --> 00:51:14.519
sitting next to me, that I got really well with

582
00:51:15.119 --> 00:51:18.039
the people behind me, and I just said see her,

583
00:51:18.760 --> 00:51:24.480
and I was left. And it's almost like no one

584
00:51:24.559 --> 00:51:28.599
knew I was leaving, or no one cared. It's hard

585
00:51:28.599 --> 00:51:37.480
to believe. It's very strange. Yeah, I feel a bit

586
00:51:37.599 --> 00:51:42.000
cold because I knew people in different departments because I've

587
00:51:42.039 --> 00:51:44.440
been in the sales department. I knew everyone in the

588
00:51:44.480 --> 00:51:50.920
sales department, not just because I'd worked with most of them. Well,

589
00:51:50.960 --> 00:51:52.880
I hadn't worked with most of my worked at the time.

590
00:51:52.920 --> 00:51:56.599
I'd worked with everyone, and then they took on another

591
00:51:58.000 --> 00:52:03.280
probably twice as many different people, maybe three times. I

592
00:52:03.400 --> 00:52:08.639
never heard. They took on a lot more people, and

593
00:52:08.679 --> 00:52:10.239
I got to know them because I was listening to

594
00:52:10.280 --> 00:52:13.480
their calls, so I felt like I knew them and

595
00:52:13.519 --> 00:52:16.199
I would speak to them, you know, and give them

596
00:52:16.239 --> 00:52:22.079
feedback and stuff. So not everyone was in love with

597
00:52:22.119 --> 00:52:28.480
me because they sometimes lost money due to not doing

598
00:52:28.480 --> 00:52:31.440
the job properly, and that wasn't my fault. That was

599
00:52:31.480 --> 00:52:40.280
just the way it was, you know, just there was.

600
00:52:40.400 --> 00:52:41.960
I did thought I was going to get in trouble

601
00:52:41.960 --> 00:52:48.079
once some lad who was in renewals and he lost

602
00:52:48.199 --> 00:52:56.400
something like two hundred pounds from his bonus because he

603
00:52:56.480 --> 00:53:07.480
failed every single one of his compliance things. And I said, well,

604
00:53:08.519 --> 00:53:12.199
I only marked two of them, and what's her name

605
00:53:12.239 --> 00:53:14.800
next to me? Mark two? We didn't do all four,

606
00:53:15.119 --> 00:53:18.920
so was it six three? I think I had six,

607
00:53:19.719 --> 00:53:23.079
Either four or six, I can't remember, but I didn't

608
00:53:23.079 --> 00:53:25.480
do all of them, so it couldn't all be blamed

609
00:53:25.519 --> 00:53:31.039
on me. So the team leader he calls the big fuss.

610
00:53:31.039 --> 00:53:33.920
The team leader came up, wants to listen to the

611
00:53:33.920 --> 00:53:38.000
calls again and said, no, it was fine, And I said,

612
00:53:38.000 --> 00:53:41.719
I'd listened to it again, No it wasn't, and then

613
00:53:41.960 --> 00:53:44.000
my boss would listen to it. He said, no, it

614
00:53:44.079 --> 00:53:47.920
wasn't all these people listening to the call trying to

615
00:53:48.400 --> 00:53:54.840
trying to find a way to pay him. When I mean,

616
00:53:55.320 --> 00:53:57.599
when I listened back to the call, I didn't want

617
00:53:57.679 --> 00:54:02.960
myself to be wrong for because I quite I quite

618
00:54:03.079 --> 00:54:05.639
liked the idea that I was pretty good at a job.

619
00:54:06.159 --> 00:54:09.679
But at the same time I'd have been happy enough

620
00:54:10.960 --> 00:54:13.480
well I wouldn't really, but I wanted him to have

621
00:54:13.519 --> 00:54:16.119
his money. I didn't want him to lose money. I

622
00:54:16.119 --> 00:54:19.760
wouldn't have been happy if I'd been wrong, just because

623
00:54:20.239 --> 00:54:23.360
that brings up doubts in other people's minds. Then, so

624
00:54:23.400 --> 00:54:26.320
how many other ones as he've done wrong? I lost

625
00:54:26.320 --> 00:54:29.440
one hundred pounds last month. Maybe that was because me.

626
00:54:29.480 --> 00:54:33.639
He doesn't know what he's doing. But I really didn't

627
00:54:33.679 --> 00:54:37.719
know what I was doing, very very very rarely will

628
00:54:37.719 --> 00:54:39.960
you ever hear me say that I was pretty good

629
00:54:40.199 --> 00:54:44.960
at that job. It was very simple, but I knew

630
00:54:45.039 --> 00:54:48.760
exactly what or I knew what needed to be how

631
00:54:48.840 --> 00:54:51.280
things needed to be asked, and it was a certain

632
00:54:51.360 --> 00:54:54.159
way it was. I think it was ridiculous that the

633
00:54:54.239 --> 00:54:59.159
staff were made to do that. You know, I really

634
00:54:59.199 --> 00:55:02.280
did this, But it's just compliance. It's just the rules.

635
00:55:03.119 --> 00:55:18.800
It's the rules, it's the financial whatever organization. Ah. But yeah,

636
00:55:19.039 --> 00:55:23.400
it's weird because I left thinking, oh, I did give

637
00:55:23.480 --> 00:55:28.159
a month's notice. So during that month I applied to

638
00:55:28.199 --> 00:55:37.000
go to university to do my counseling degree. I applied.

639
00:55:37.320 --> 00:55:42.440
I didn't get a result, I think until i'd left,

640
00:55:45.599 --> 00:55:51.599
because that would have been in the August or maybe

641
00:55:51.599 --> 00:55:54.840
it was in the July year, in August September. I

642
00:55:54.880 --> 00:56:01.840
started university in October, so I think I probably went

643
00:56:01.880 --> 00:56:10.320
for an interview in the July because I think they

644
00:56:10.360 --> 00:56:15.000
do the interviews before the clothes. I don't know, Yeah,

645
00:56:15.000 --> 00:56:18.480
I think I did. It might have been June, BlimE me. Anyway,

646
00:56:18.519 --> 00:56:26.360
I think it was July. And then I got accepted.

647
00:56:28.280 --> 00:56:33.000
I went on to I got benefits housing benefit just

648
00:56:33.039 --> 00:56:38.800
for three months while I was unemployed waiting to go

649
00:56:38.840 --> 00:56:42.000
to university. I remember the they said another one. I

650
00:56:42.000 --> 00:56:46.880
remember the lady. It was a lady in this situation.

651
00:56:47.360 --> 00:56:49.760
It's not always a lady in my stories. It's quite

652
00:56:49.800 --> 00:56:52.559
often men as well. Okay, it was a man. It

653
00:56:52.599 --> 00:56:57.880
was a man. And she said to me, yeah, you

654
00:56:57.880 --> 00:56:59.800
won't get any house and benefit because you're living in

655
00:56:59.840 --> 00:57:03.480
this shared accommodation. It's a religious house because I was

656
00:57:03.519 --> 00:57:09.119
living with Buddhists. There's no locks on the doors, because

657
00:57:10.000 --> 00:57:16.199
that's what makes it a multiple occupancy whatever. I said, Yeah,

658
00:57:16.239 --> 00:57:19.480
but we trust each other, so it don't matter if

659
00:57:19.480 --> 00:57:21.719
there's no locks on the door. It's class as a family.

660
00:57:23.280 --> 00:57:25.840
I said, well, we do argue, so it's similar to

661
00:57:25.880 --> 00:57:33.119
be in a family. But I do pay rent. Well,

662
00:57:33.199 --> 00:57:35.519
it turns out she was wrong, and I did get paid,

663
00:57:35.840 --> 00:57:38.599
did get my rent paid, so that was good, and

664
00:57:38.800 --> 00:57:43.559
only for a few weeks, what's it, probably two months?

665
00:57:43.599 --> 00:57:51.440
Really only two months, and so if I hadn't been

666
00:57:51.559 --> 00:57:58.079
told you either go full time or you leave, then

667
00:57:58.840 --> 00:58:02.719
I would never have probably gone to university because I

668
00:58:02.760 --> 00:58:09.199
was fairly kind of happy being there doing part time

669
00:58:10.280 --> 00:58:17.360
and then volunteering doing a free pain relief service. No,

670
00:58:17.599 --> 00:58:19.199
I'd stop doing that at this point. So I was

671
00:58:19.239 --> 00:58:21.880
doing that in two thousand and six. I was doing

672
00:58:21.920 --> 00:58:25.400
that when I was full time, the free pay relief service,

673
00:58:26.480 --> 00:58:30.239
and I was doing it on Saturdays. But then two

674
00:58:30.280 --> 00:58:40.679
thousand and seven I was doing the the Rehab Drug

675
00:58:40.760 --> 00:58:46.239
Rehab and Alcoholic charity, so I was doing relaxation group sessions.

676
00:58:46.639 --> 00:58:50.760
I think I was doing two a week each one,

677
00:58:51.280 --> 00:58:59.480
and not while I was part time. I think I

678
00:58:59.519 --> 00:59:02.199
was doing one a week at each one, and then

679
00:59:02.400 --> 00:59:03.280
when I went.

680
00:59:04.920 --> 00:59:15.360
Or was I I can't remember one two.

681
00:59:16.760 --> 00:59:20.199
Yeah, I think it was two a week, one a week,

682
00:59:20.599 --> 00:59:23.079
and then I went two a week for each one

683
00:59:24.280 --> 00:59:30.119
when I left my job. That was a shame. I'd again,

684
00:59:30.159 --> 00:59:35.400
I'd probably still be there doing that if it hadn't

685
00:59:35.440 --> 00:59:43.639
been for circumstances. It's a shame. That's weird, isn't it.

686
00:59:43.679 --> 00:59:50.119
I know, you know, life, just life is. It can

687
00:59:50.159 --> 00:59:53.400
be a bit unusual at times all the time, but

688
00:59:54.880 --> 01:00:02.760
there's certain in some ways. For a short period of time,

689
01:00:05.360 --> 01:00:16.000
everything was kind of going pretty well, even leading up

690
01:00:16.079 --> 01:00:23.960
to starting university, because I had everything planned very eloquently.

691
01:00:26.480 --> 01:00:28.599
I'm not sure if it was eloquent, but I had

692
01:00:28.639 --> 01:00:36.960
everything planned. So I had a part time job in

693
01:00:37.000 --> 01:00:44.239
the supermarket to start and it was just going to

694
01:00:44.280 --> 01:00:52.960
be at weekends. I was starting university. Well i'd already

695
01:00:53.000 --> 01:00:57.119
started university, but it was in a different town, but

696
01:00:57.199 --> 01:01:04.360
that was okay, it was doable. I was still living

697
01:01:04.519 --> 01:01:09.000
at the Buddhist place again, that was what I wanted,

698
01:01:10.559 --> 01:01:17.440
and it's fairly cheap to live there. I was still

699
01:01:17.519 --> 01:01:22.079
doing the voluntary work. I had to base it around,

700
01:01:23.000 --> 01:01:25.239
you know, university, but I was still managing to go

701
01:01:25.360 --> 01:01:28.800
twice a week, so I'll do at least one session

702
01:01:29.320 --> 01:01:36.639
per week at the the two charities doing group relaxation sessions.

703
01:01:38.800 --> 01:01:45.079
I was still making my recordings and my videos, and

704
01:01:47.320 --> 01:01:52.079
I had a new girlfriend, which came from me doing

705
01:01:52.079 --> 01:01:55.840
the voluntary work. She was in charge of the volunteers

706
01:01:56.519 --> 01:02:01.400
volunteer coordinature or something, so everything was kind of going

707
01:02:01.440 --> 01:02:12.920
together quite nicely actually, and then, as sometimes happened, Hello

708
01:02:13.000 --> 01:02:20.880
for Anny, Hello Hello, as sometimes occurs, things went a

709
01:02:20.920 --> 01:02:28.119
little bit awry. So I ended up moving to the

710
01:02:28.159 --> 01:02:33.679
town I was going to university, yet moving away from

711
01:02:33.679 --> 01:02:38.159
that job, so I didn't even get to start the job.

712
01:02:41.480 --> 01:02:42.039
And.

713
01:02:43.320 --> 01:02:50.000
Moving away from my friends. My girlfriend wasn't I moved

714
01:02:50.039 --> 01:02:53.800
away from her and she didn't take that greatly, and

715
01:02:56.239 --> 01:03:04.519
I wasn't able to do the volunteer work anymore. So

716
01:03:04.719 --> 01:03:08.320
the only thing I continued when I moved was doing

717
01:03:08.400 --> 01:03:16.079
recordings and videos and going to university. But the way

718
01:03:16.079 --> 01:03:21.679
it worked out, it did take a lot out of

719
01:03:21.760 --> 01:03:27.679
me doing that course, So I'm not sure if I'd

720
01:03:27.679 --> 01:03:35.440
have been able to maintain all the other things at

721
01:03:35.440 --> 01:03:40.360
the same time, you know, a part time job, a girlfriend,

722
01:03:40.920 --> 01:03:52.960
the volunteer jobs, volunteer work. Yeah, I don't know if

723
01:03:52.960 --> 01:03:55.559
I could have. I mean, it might have been much better.

724
01:03:55.639 --> 01:04:00.800
I don't know, but I don't know, no way of knowing.

725
01:04:04.840 --> 01:04:07.320
But that was with Sainsbury's. I tell it's weird. I

726
01:04:07.360 --> 01:04:11.000
actually got a part time job again in Sainsbury's in

727
01:04:14.360 --> 01:04:24.000
was it? Where was it? Yeah? When I moved here,

728
01:04:24.239 --> 01:04:28.719
I got a job, part time job at Sainsbury's, and

729
01:04:28.840 --> 01:04:32.079
again I didn't go. I got the job, I just

730
01:04:32.119 --> 01:04:36.920
didn't go. I just couldn't face it. It's weird. I

731
01:04:37.000 --> 01:04:46.719
couldn't get out of bed. And then yeah, I think

732
01:04:46.800 --> 01:04:51.800
I kind of I think that particular, that particular ladder

733
01:04:51.840 --> 01:04:54.800
has been shortened. I don't think I can get onto

734
01:04:54.840 --> 01:05:02.880
the ladder anymore. For for that company, I was going

735
01:05:02.960 --> 01:05:18.280
to be on the vegetable section. Hm. It was weird,

736
01:05:18.320 --> 01:05:20.360
well not weird, but the bloke that showed me around

737
01:05:20.360 --> 01:05:23.360
and he was going to be my supervisor, he was

738
01:05:23.440 --> 01:05:28.039
so enthusiastic about all the apples, the fruits, and the

739
01:05:28.119 --> 01:05:36.599
vegetables and the cabbages and the beetroot, and really enthusiastic.

740
01:05:37.719 --> 01:05:46.719
He had a hat and everything. You're really I can't

741
01:05:46.760 --> 01:05:50.400
really express to you how enthusiastic he was about that

742
01:05:50.440 --> 01:05:54.599
particular section. Now, it's quite a large section in the supermarket,

743
01:05:54.679 --> 01:05:59.199
isn't it, The whole vegetable fruit and veg area. It's

744
01:05:59.280 --> 01:06:03.639
quite a quite a big section of a large supermarket,

745
01:06:05.320 --> 01:06:09.079
so I'm guessing there'd be quite a few staff looking

746
01:06:09.119 --> 01:06:14.079
after that area, and he was I don't know if

747
01:06:14.119 --> 01:06:16.559
he was in charge overall in charge or if he

748
01:06:16.679 --> 01:06:23.199
was I don't know, like a shift manager or something.

749
01:06:26.599 --> 01:06:30.320
Definitely loved his job, which was amazing. I always like

750
01:06:30.400 --> 01:06:33.760
that anyone. I've just got a thing about people enthusiastic

751
01:06:33.800 --> 01:06:38.719
about stuff, because I don't think I come across as

752
01:06:38.719 --> 01:06:46.000
being very enthusiastic. I hide it very well. I I

753
01:06:46.039 --> 01:06:50.519
just like that. I don't Yeah, whatever it is, as

754
01:06:50.519 --> 01:06:54.400
long as it's not hurting anyone else, and for me personally,

755
01:06:54.440 --> 01:06:59.480
it's useful. Just just for me personally. I mean, other

756
01:06:59.519 --> 01:07:03.000
people can be enthusiastic about whatever they want. That's up

757
01:07:03.039 --> 01:07:09.000
to them. I only really want to be enthusiastic about Well,

758
01:07:09.079 --> 01:07:15.360
actually it's not true because I'm enthusiastic about Let's try

759
01:07:15.400 --> 01:07:17.519
to say the word a little bit slower so it

760
01:07:17.599 --> 01:07:28.159
comes out more concisely and clearly enthusiastic. I am enthusiastic

761
01:07:28.199 --> 01:07:31.760
about boxing, and that's not helping anyone. The only one

762
01:07:31.800 --> 01:07:38.719
that's helping is to people that are getting paid. So

763
01:07:38.840 --> 01:07:47.599
I'm you know, I love watching the big fights. My

764
01:07:47.679 --> 01:08:02.159
stomach's hungry again. It don't stop being hungry. It's nearly

765
01:08:02.199 --> 01:08:05.639
time to take the little monkey out for a little

766
01:08:05.800 --> 01:08:14.280
climbing the trees, my little monkey. So that's the end

767
01:08:14.440 --> 01:08:20.600
of this here a recording. It's not you know, it's

768
01:08:20.600 --> 01:08:26.520
not in line with the regular Monday Tuesday kind of

769
01:08:27.920 --> 01:08:32.840
schedule that I've been building up over the last few

770
01:08:32.920 --> 01:08:39.520
months or I don't know how long it's been. But

771
01:08:39.640 --> 01:08:43.680
I will get back to that. I promise. I really

772
01:08:43.680 --> 01:08:48.600
do promise it just it might take a little while.

773
01:08:49.720 --> 01:08:52.479
I will get back to it. There's a bit of

774
01:08:52.520 --> 01:08:55.600
a blip with the adverts as well, but that's sorted

775
01:08:55.640 --> 01:09:02.479
now thanks to someone let me know that, thank you

776
01:09:03.159 --> 01:09:06.399
that there was adverts playing mid role on some of

777
01:09:06.439 --> 01:09:10.319
the podcasts. They shouldn't have been. So that's all been

778
01:09:10.640 --> 01:09:19.279
sorted out. Yeah, it should should be sorted out. Please

779
01:09:19.520 --> 01:09:36.039
please please severely mentally deficient. Wow. Yeah, I feel like

780
01:09:36.079 --> 01:09:38.319
I need to print that only I might put that

781
01:09:38.359 --> 01:09:45.560
as my screen as the image for this recording. It's

782
01:09:45.680 --> 01:09:53.159
like what wow. Anyway, I'm going to go. Thank you

783
01:09:53.439 --> 01:09:59.920
for listening. Please remember to be kind to yourself because

784
01:10:00.119 --> 01:10:04.239
you do deserve to be happy and be gentle with yourself.

785
01:10:05.439 --> 01:10:12.840
You deserve to feel safe. Lots of love. Bye,