Aug. 25, 2025

(no music) How my brother ruined my 8th Birthday | LMBYTS #1422 | Jason Newland | 25th August 2025

(no music) How my brother ruined my 8th Birthday | LMBYTS #1422 | Jason Newland | 25th August 2025
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In this special birthday edition of Let Me Bore You To Sleep (#1422), Jason Newland reflects on the day his younger brother was born—the day before his 8th birthday—and how it completely changed the spotlight on his big day. With his trademark mix of humor, rambling stories, and light-hearted complaints, Jason shares childhood memories, family anecdotes, and the unique way birthdays shaped his life. As always, the meandering storytelling is designed to relax, distract, and gently lull you into a calm, sleepy state. Perfect for anyone who enjoys a blend of nostalgia, silliness, and soothing background chatter before drifting off to sleep.

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/hypnosis-for-sleeping-deeply--6340116/support.

WEBVTT

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Hello, and welcome to Jasonnewland dot com. My name's Jason

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new Land. This is let me buoy to sleep LM

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LMB white Yes, LLMB white yes, yeah, mis lebitz. Yeah.

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So it is Monday, the twenty fifth of August two

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thousand and twenty five. Hello, Hello, it's my brother's birthday

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today and tomorrow Tuesday, the twenty sixth of August twenty

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twenty five.

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It's my birthday, my.

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Mine, mine.

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So yeah, I will be tomorrow fifty five years old.

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Fifty five, fifty fifty five, even if you say quickly,

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still sounds old, yep, fifty five. As I got my

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hand on top of my head, really feeling the temperature

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difference in my bald spot, it's weird and like, ugh,

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I wonder, I'm not sure if I wonder if I

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have any hair by the time I'm sixty five. So yeah,

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so it's my brother was born well now clearly was

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born the day before my birthday when I was I

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turned eight. So basically he was born the day before

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my eighth birthday. And I remember that quite clearly. Yeah,

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so I'll tell you about that in a minute. Oh yeah,

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I got uncle sausages funeral on Thursday at nine thirty,

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So that's going to be a weird one. But I

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do still intend to do a Q and A Friday

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This Friday. I need to post a question thing on

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faith book. I had a lot of questions last time

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last Friday, lots and lots of questions. So I'm gonna

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if I remember, I will post that. I could do

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it now while I'm thinking about No, I can't because

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there's no Internet on my phone because I always put

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it onto Yeah, I put it onto what's it.

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Called airplane boot mode so I don't get disturbed by

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all the millions of phone calls that I get on

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a daily basis me.

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So yeah, I'll do that after this. So it's bank

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Collored in Monday here in the British Isles of the

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UK England Commonwealth, and it's a nice day outside. It's

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really nice, little bit of wind which is good. It's

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fairly hot there, very sunny. What he took Vinnie out

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earlier about seven o'clock ish call s he barked at

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a couple of dogs like he does. I missed the

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old days when he was really like when he was

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ten months old and I first got him he was

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happy to see every single dog excited. He just wanted

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to run up to them and be friends. He's not

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like that anymore. He's got the dogs that he's friends with,

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and anyone new he's not particularly interested in, and especially

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the big dogs. He doesn't like big dogs, or generally

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black dogs. But he's got a couple of black dog friends,

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so he's not completely racist, but he's definitely you know,

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he's got a thing about sheep dogs, what they call

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colliers or whatever they're called. Yet one of his good

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friends is a collier's. I can't figure him out, really,

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So I'm not a big fan of him doing it anytime,

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but not early in the morning or late at night.

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Just not not really don't really enjoy that. It's because

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some people like he did it. Yesterday, we turned a

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corner and there was someone there of a dog, and

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did he's barking, And both the people the dog would

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give me funny looks like it's just a dog. He's barking.

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That's what dogs do, man. But you know, I could

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be responsible for him up to a limit. You know,

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he's on a lead. He can't do any mischief, But

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as far as barking, he's going to do that. He's

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a dog, that's what you know. I can't stop him

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from barking. I try and stop him, and I'm usually

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able to calm him down. But ultimately, if he decides

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to start barking, which I think is kind of automatic behavior,

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he doesn't plan it. He's not got a little alarm

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goes off on his on his watch that tells him

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all time to bark. No, it's just an automatic response

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to outside stimuli. I'm guessing I don't know where he is.

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He's on the floor somewhere. He came in licking his lips.

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So I've got some food, got some water or change

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his waterever because he was in a bedroom with his

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water in his food. Did not touch his food f

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him last night. So I've given him some new food.

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Put it out. I haven't got anywhere near it. And

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I think he's just done a big fart. Wit. No,

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it wasn't me, it was him. If it was me,

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it was a silent one. But normally even if it's silent,

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you know, still feel the air. Bad, bad bad. So yeah,

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it's another week, another week in August. It's the last

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week of August. I do believe. So what we've got

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twenty six tomorrow, just Tuesday, my birthday, fifty five, twenty seventh,

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on Wednesday, twenty third, on Thursday, twenty third, Wow, twenty six,

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twenty seven, Wednesday, twenty eighth, Thursday, twenty ninth, Friday, thirtieth,

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Saturday Day, very first Sunday, and the first of September

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will be next Monday in a week's time. So, yeah,

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that was a bit pointless, really, wasn't. I just reading

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out the numbers of the days. The weird thing is,

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I just really enjoyed doing it, and I don't know

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why I do know. Yeah, I haven't really done much today,

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although it's still fairly early. It's only eleven twenty five

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in the morning. I mean recently, I have been doing

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recordings a little bit earlier than this, but it's been

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relatively quiet outside, so I thought, oh, maybe i'll make

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a recording. There's not much screaming and shouting, and you know,

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ding dong was going on out there. Plus one two three, four,

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one two four out of six of the flats in

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this building are empty at the moment today. Anyway, one's

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on holiday. I think one's gone away for the weekend.

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Or so I don't know. I haven't seen them because

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I put some black bags out there out the front

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for them. There's a little gift and they haven't brought

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it in, so I guess they're not around. And then yeah,

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one downstairs on a holiday, and then they have two

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flats that are empty anyway, So there's only me and

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downstairs that they're here today. So pretty quiet and I

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don't make much noise generally. I'm fairly fairly useful neighbor.

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I would, I would, I think, I hope. So I

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have asked intermittently my neighbor downstairs just to make sure

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that I'm being quiet enough, because I don't, you know,

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I don't want to be one of those noisy neighbors.

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That's almost like my worst scenario. Just yeah, other than

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having a really noisy neighbor has to that's that's up

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higher than that, you know. So hmmm, yeah, the weakerheads

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looking well, I don't really do anything on my birthday anymore.

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I used to. I used to celebrate my birthday every

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single year, not as in like having a birthday celebration

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like party or anything like that. I'm talking about as

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an adult. When I was a kid, I used to

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have parties. I think, yeah, pretty much. But as an adult,

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most of the time when I was in London, I

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would take the day off on my birthday. I'd go

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up to the West End and just chill out. I'll

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become I suppose, like a tourist for the day and

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I'd go and eat out, and I'd go and I'd

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be on my own every single time, and I'll just

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you know, just go to the West End. I would

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look around, go into the bookshops, maybe buy a book,

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go and get McDonald's. I saw her an advert or

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saw an advert on TV for McDonald's. And now they're

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using the term Mackie d for McDonald's, which just shows

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you how how slow companies are to use because I

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heard that term when I like twenty five years ago,

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people talking about Macky D's. So now McDonald's just realized

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that people use that term. I personally don't use that

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term because it's McDonald's. I did the idea of actually

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making a cute name for something that's so harmful for me,

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you know, I mean McDonald's. Okay. I used to like

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McDonald's used to be a treat. Now it's I would

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have I would go to McDonald's if there was nothing

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else to eat. It would be a last resort. I

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think i'd even choose a sausage roll over McDonald's meal. Generally, yes,

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it's if I'm in the middle of somewhere and I've

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got no other food. I'll go to McDonald's only if

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there's McDonald's there, because otherwise I wouldn't be able to go,

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would I. No. Oh, So.

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My birthday, my birthday, my birthday, My my birthday, my birthday,

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my birthday.

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Oh fifty five? How many birthdays I can remember? I

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can't remember last year. Well, birthdays stand out in my life. Okay,

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the first birthday I call was when I was living

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in Newcastle in a children's home, and I come down.

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I've told this story before, but I come downstairs because

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my birthday was always during the summer holidays when I

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was at school, so right from being I don't know

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when I first went to school. I don't know what

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age I was, but I never had to do anything

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on my birthday until I started working, and then when

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I got to my twenties, I kind of decided I'm

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not working on my birthday anymore. So yeah, my first

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Birthday recollection because I didn't know what my birthday was.

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I didn't know how old I was back then, so

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I guess and I was probably about five. And I

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come downstairs. I'm late, must have slept in or something.

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I go into the canteen because the the Children's Home

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in Newcastle was a lot better than the Children's Home

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in South End where I ended up. It was it

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was just nicer though. The place was nicer as far

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as brighter and where we ate. It was like a

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conservatory thing and I don't know, it was just a

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nicer and it was all surrounded by fields and you

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know as a play area. Big play field was swings

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and stuff. Yeah. Anyway, I so I come down and

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I'm sitting at the table and someone says, oh, happy birthday.

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I said, okay, I had no idea it was my birthday.

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Neither did they. I mean, obviously I did, because they

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just said happy birthday. And because I know I had

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that conversation with him. I said, how do you ask

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my birthday? And she said I didn't. I said, well,

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you just told me happy birthday. How can you say

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happy birthday if you didn't know it's my birthday? She said, well,

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I could just be making it up and I could

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say happy birthday to anyone at any time, you know.

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But I said, what are you you making up? And

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she said no, I'm not. I said, okay, well, how

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come how do you know it's my birthday? Then she

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said because your mom came around. I said really, I said, yeah,

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your mom turned up. I said, okay, where was she? Now?

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She didn't stop. Okay, she didn't stop. She did, why

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didn't you wake me up?

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Oh?

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She couldn't stop. Okay. So I said, okay, a lot

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back then, and I said all right, And she said

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then the lady said, well, she left you a present.

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I said, I really, and she gave it to me.

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It was a box of Maltesers, like one of the

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bigger boxes. And I love not what I loved more

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teasers still do. So oh and that was it. That

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was my birthday, and that's her first birthday. I remember

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Evan really knowing what her birthday was. Now, the next

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time I had a birthday, I couldn't tell you. I mean,

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I know it was a year later, but I couldn't

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tell you. I don't remember a specific celebration of any

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particular birthday year, probably until I was eight, So I

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remember that birthday. So we'd been living we just moved into,

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not just moved in, but I hadn't been long. We've

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been living in this house, which was a new build

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on a council estate, which my nana Grande moved into

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as well. Once we moved out in I don't know,

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nineteen eighty eight or summer time. Yeah, just in time. Yeah,

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it's probably just in time for me to move into.

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We moved into a new house and I started a

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new school in September. So yeah, that's it. Yeah, that's right.

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So the day before my eighth birthday, the twenty fifth,

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which is today, I don't even know how many years ago,

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forty something, forty three, No, forty seven years ago. So

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my little brother is now forty seven. He's getting old,

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an't he? So forty seven years ago today I was

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see in our house we had and I don't know why,

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and it's really it caused problems for my name as well.

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She fell down these steps that I fell down, and

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they put a ramp up in the end, my dad

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and whatever. It was ridiculous, like these big steps and

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each step was pretty much as high up up to

228
00:19:57.200 --> 00:20:00.279
my knee and when I was only two inches tall

229
00:20:00.279 --> 00:20:05.079
at the time, but still big steps to get into

230
00:20:05.119 --> 00:20:10.680
the back door. And it's it's I think it's because

231
00:20:10.759 --> 00:20:12.200
the house was kind of on a bit of a

232
00:20:12.279 --> 00:20:17.039
slope and the ground hadn't settled yet, because it was

233
00:20:17.279 --> 00:20:19.960
on a new bit of land, well not on a

234
00:20:19.960 --> 00:20:22.240
new bit of land, and land's probably been there for

235
00:20:22.279 --> 00:20:26.519
millions of years, but depending on which book you read.

236
00:20:27.240 --> 00:20:39.160
And I I fell downstairs that my stepmom was heavily pregnant.

237
00:20:40.400 --> 00:20:42.400
I mean, the fact is she had a baby that day,

238
00:20:42.440 --> 00:20:46.079
so she must have been quite heavily pregnant. And she

239
00:20:46.319 --> 00:20:49.519
comes out to help me. So I falked down the

240
00:20:49.519 --> 00:20:57.359
stairs and I'm crying where my dad comes out and like, oh,

241
00:20:57.400 --> 00:21:00.240
you've had the baby already, and he realizes it's just me.

242
00:21:02.440 --> 00:21:05.279
I was still a baby, That's what. That's the day

243
00:21:05.319 --> 00:21:09.960
I stopped being a baby. It's kind of weird. I

244
00:21:10.000 --> 00:21:16.759
got to be a baby for a year pretty much.

245
00:21:17.359 --> 00:21:19.480
I had a whole year of being the baby, being

246
00:21:19.519 --> 00:21:23.640
the youngest. I know, I was young. I was youngest

247
00:21:23.680 --> 00:21:27.839
for the first eight years, but that's it's only between

248
00:21:27.920 --> 00:21:32.319
seven and eight that I was actually treated like a human,

249
00:21:32.359 --> 00:21:35.240
I think. So I got to be a baby and

250
00:21:35.319 --> 00:21:39.599
act like a baby and be all I don't know, babyish,

251
00:21:39.640 --> 00:21:43.400
I guess I don't mean a baby baby. I wasn't

252
00:21:43.599 --> 00:21:48.839
like wearing nappies and going gega goog, not that babies

253
00:21:48.880 --> 00:21:56.000
generally go gega goo goo, BUTKA like that. I wasn't

254
00:21:56.039 --> 00:22:01.359
doing that, but I was, you know, I was. My

255
00:22:01.519 --> 00:22:05.759
dad would carry me on his shoulders and we were

256
00:22:05.799 --> 00:22:13.160
walking around and I would sit on my stepmom's lap

257
00:22:13.440 --> 00:22:17.200
and cuddle up to her like I was a little baby. Yeah,

258
00:22:17.200 --> 00:22:20.160
it was good. I liked it. But then my little

259
00:22:20.160 --> 00:22:24.759
brother was born and he ruined everything, absolutely ruined it,

260
00:22:26.039 --> 00:22:31.839
and I suddenly had to start acting I suppose my

261
00:22:31.920 --> 00:22:34.920
age really. But it was good. It was good for

262
00:22:35.000 --> 00:22:46.680
a year kind of, was it. Yeah. I remember once

263
00:22:47.799 --> 00:22:52.359
I was thinking because my dad said, oh, you getting

264
00:22:52.359 --> 00:22:54.480
a bit too heavy now for me to carry you

265
00:22:54.559 --> 00:22:57.079
on my shoulders, so I'm probably not gonna be able

266
00:22:57.119 --> 00:23:01.519
to do it anymore. And I thought, hmmm, So what

267
00:23:01.559 --> 00:23:04.880
I did is I put super glue on my bum

268
00:23:04.920 --> 00:23:08.240
and on my legs. Well, I was wearing trousers but

269
00:23:08.359 --> 00:23:11.079
super clue on them, and I thought that'd work. But

270
00:23:12.240 --> 00:23:16.640
it didn't. He just took his shirt off and we

271
00:23:16.680 --> 00:23:24.359
didn't talk about it again. Yeah, the people in a

272
00:23:24.440 --> 00:23:31.359
restaurant weren't too pleased. That doesn't make sense. What do

273
00:23:31.400 --> 00:23:35.039
you mean the people in the restaurant. Why would you

274
00:23:35.039 --> 00:23:37.839
be on your dad's shoulders in a restaurant. I don't know.

275
00:23:37.960 --> 00:23:39.799
It makes sense when I said it, But then once

276
00:23:39.799 --> 00:23:42.680
I said that, I realized it didn't make sense, and

277
00:23:43.559 --> 00:23:46.119
instead of moving on, I actually highlighted the fact that

278
00:23:46.240 --> 00:23:50.200
what I just said made no no sense at all.

279
00:23:51.880 --> 00:23:54.599
You can't think of any other words that mean sense,

280
00:23:54.720 --> 00:23:57.920
can you? So you just keep using the same words sense.

281
00:24:00.599 --> 00:24:05.039
Yeah I noticed that as well. Thanks, it's okay. I'm

282
00:24:05.039 --> 00:24:13.119
here to help. Yeah, cheers didn't make any didn't seem relevant,

283
00:24:13.200 --> 00:24:16.160
didn't make any kind of sense. No, see, she'll keep

284
00:24:16.160 --> 00:24:20.000
coming back to the words since anyway. I fell over,

285
00:24:21.200 --> 00:24:23.279
not on purpose, you know. I bashed my knee on

286
00:24:23.319 --> 00:24:34.119
the concrete floor. It hurt, and I cried like that

287
00:24:34.200 --> 00:24:39.920
and probably about a lot louder. Although I got quite

288
00:24:39.960 --> 00:24:46.880
a quiet voice, I can shout really loud. You'd be

289
00:24:46.960 --> 00:24:51.359
surprised you. Honestly, I can really shout loud if I

290
00:24:51.440 --> 00:24:55.079
need to. But the whole estate would hear me if

291
00:24:55.119 --> 00:24:59.119
I showered my loudest. I don't know why. It's my

292
00:24:59.160 --> 00:25:02.559
little superpowered I keep quiet. I keep it to myself.

293
00:25:03.039 --> 00:25:12.960
Plus there's no apparent reason to use it. And yeah,

294
00:25:13.000 --> 00:25:16.960
so I've fallen. I've fallen over off the step, a

295
00:25:17.079 --> 00:25:22.400
very unsafe step. Really not a good idea to have

296
00:25:22.559 --> 00:25:26.839
us two steps, in fact, two concrete steps to get

297
00:25:26.839 --> 00:25:34.160
into the back door. It just I don't know, personally,

298
00:25:34.160 --> 00:25:37.960
I think it was a bad idea and a big

299
00:25:38.000 --> 00:25:42.680
fault in the building structure. It just wasn't It's a

300
00:25:42.759 --> 00:25:46.319
nice house. It was my favorite house of all time.

301
00:25:47.519 --> 00:25:50.640
And if I could live anywhere, it'd be there in

302
00:25:50.680 --> 00:25:55.519
that house. You know, it'd have to be like it

303
00:25:55.599 --> 00:25:59.279
was when my men lived there. I wouldn't change a thing.

304
00:26:00.680 --> 00:26:03.799
I keep it the same. But unfortunately she moved out,

305
00:26:03.920 --> 00:26:10.160
she had to move out, and yeah, into a care home,

306
00:26:10.200 --> 00:26:14.200
and not a care home that was sheltered, the camp.

307
00:26:14.319 --> 00:26:21.160
Sheltered sheltered residential accommodation, is that what it's called. She

308
00:26:21.240 --> 00:26:28.799
had her own flat and with I don't know how

309
00:26:28.799 --> 00:26:33.160
many other people, fifty sixty hundred, I don't know, everyone

310
00:26:33.160 --> 00:26:36.640
had their own flats and she'd go in as you

311
00:26:36.759 --> 00:26:39.839
as you walked basically as you walk in the main thing.

312
00:26:42.279 --> 00:26:45.160
I think it was locked sometimes. But if you walk

313
00:26:45.200 --> 00:26:51.640
in and there's this big area room where sometimes they'd

314
00:26:52.079 --> 00:26:57.680
congregate and play big go and cricket or whatever else hopscotch,

315
00:26:58.400 --> 00:27:05.160
and I don't know why that's funny, And then turn right.

316
00:27:06.039 --> 00:27:10.400
It wasn't funny. Okay, stop, I don't need this. You're

317
00:27:10.400 --> 00:27:15.640
not helping anymore, not trying to. Oh, it's a turn

318
00:27:15.799 --> 00:27:19.359
right down there, one, two, three four on the right,

319
00:27:20.119 --> 00:27:24.079
that was where her door was. I couldn't tell you

320
00:27:24.079 --> 00:27:28.279
what number it was. I do what number, I knew

321
00:27:28.319 --> 00:27:31.640
what I didn't look. I remember the numbers of the

322
00:27:31.680 --> 00:27:35.000
two houses I lived in when I was a kid

323
00:27:35.119 --> 00:27:38.200
to too. Of the houses, one was fifty six, one

324
00:27:38.319 --> 00:27:48.599
was nine ninety eight, Yeah, fifty six ninety eight, but

325
00:27:48.839 --> 00:27:57.720
this one I don't remember. And yeah, you go in

326
00:28:00.119 --> 00:28:06.920
on the left hand side, there was a cudboard. On

327
00:28:07.079 --> 00:28:13.519
top of that there was was it a cupboardal was

328
00:28:13.920 --> 00:28:18.000
in built? I don't know, But that's where my nan

329
00:28:18.240 --> 00:28:24.640
stored shoe boxes with photographs in and there were some

330
00:28:24.720 --> 00:28:27.720
photo albums up there as well, because every now and

331
00:28:27.799 --> 00:28:29.559
then we get them out and have a little look.

332
00:28:29.720 --> 00:28:34.240
It'll laugh, and she'd show me she had pictures of

333
00:28:34.279 --> 00:28:41.240
me when I was little before, like when I was

334
00:28:41.240 --> 00:28:53.039
like really little. I don't know how. That's kind of

335
00:28:53.079 --> 00:28:56.880
a little bit confusing. I don't know how because this

336
00:28:56.960 --> 00:29:05.720
is before I was I was like a toddler. I'm

337
00:29:05.759 --> 00:29:08.400
guessing when I was with the foster parents, my name

338
00:29:08.559 --> 00:29:13.799
was still visited and visiting us, maybe still taking us out,

339
00:29:14.839 --> 00:29:17.359
and maybe my dad was. I don't really don't know,

340
00:29:19.200 --> 00:29:22.839
but there there were some pictures of us where I

341
00:29:22.880 --> 00:29:30.920
was definitely older than a baby. Yeah, And it was

342
00:29:30.960 --> 00:29:36.640
before I was too, because that's when I moved to Newcastle. Anyways,

343
00:29:36.680 --> 00:29:42.759
Pictures of me and a pram and stuff, and my

344
00:29:42.960 --> 00:29:53.480
nan and my brother, and there's a few pictures of

345
00:29:53.559 --> 00:30:00.440
me when I was younger, when I was like a kid,

346
00:30:00.599 --> 00:30:06.359
Christmases and stuff like that, and pictures of the family.

347
00:30:06.519 --> 00:30:09.799
Pictures of my nan when she was a kid, pictures

348
00:30:09.839 --> 00:30:14.960
of her when she got married, Pictures of my granddad.

349
00:30:15.000 --> 00:30:20.720
My grandad looked like Clark Gable seriously when he was older,

350
00:30:20.720 --> 00:30:23.599
I mean when he was like in his fifties sixties,

351
00:30:24.000 --> 00:30:30.680
looked like Clark Gable, very handsome man. I obviously take

352
00:30:30.759 --> 00:30:40.200
after him, and he had a mustache. I think he

353
00:30:40.200 --> 00:30:43.880
had a mustache all his life. I don't suit a

354
00:30:44.000 --> 00:30:50.119
mustache really. In fact, recently I've been shaving. I've not

355
00:30:50.200 --> 00:30:56.200
had a beard for a while. I just I'm not

356
00:30:56.519 --> 00:31:00.440
sure if having a gray beard really help helps me

357
00:31:00.880 --> 00:31:06.960
in life. I just don't know if it's advantageous on

358
00:31:07.160 --> 00:31:20.039
any level. You know. Just see for me, I look

359
00:31:20.039 --> 00:31:22.000
at it. I look at pictures of me with beard.

360
00:31:22.119 --> 00:31:26.079
I think I look all right, But then I see

361
00:31:26.119 --> 00:31:29.559
other people with exactly the same kind of beard is

362
00:31:29.599 --> 00:31:34.680
what I've got, And I'm thinking, do I look like that?

363
00:31:35.880 --> 00:31:40.839
Because sometimes it looks really scraggly? And I don't know.

364
00:31:41.200 --> 00:31:45.759
I think I think beards look good from a distance,

365
00:31:47.119 --> 00:31:53.400
but as you get closer, maybe they don't look so good.

366
00:31:53.880 --> 00:32:01.400
I don't know. I might just I could dye my

367
00:32:01.559 --> 00:32:07.680
beard black and dye my hair black, dye my eyebrows black,

368
00:32:09.799 --> 00:32:18.000
and dye my ear hairs black. My arm hair is black.

369
00:32:18.960 --> 00:32:21.440
I don't know I could do I'd look silly, but

370
00:32:21.480 --> 00:32:30.799
I could do it. I look ridiculous, but or blonde.

371
00:32:31.000 --> 00:32:35.559
I used to be blonde, I did. I think I

372
00:32:35.640 --> 00:32:45.240
was born blonde, but gingery, I say, born blonde. I

373
00:32:45.240 --> 00:32:47.839
don't know if I had much hair when I was born.

374
00:32:49.000 --> 00:32:56.279
That's what reverting back to being a baby again. Yeah,

375
00:32:56.279 --> 00:32:58.680
the aging process is a little bit like that, isn't it?

376
00:33:04.000 --> 00:33:07.839
Turning into a babby? So that's why I used to

377
00:33:07.880 --> 00:33:09.880
call them when I was because I was lived in Newcastle,

378
00:33:10.640 --> 00:33:14.799
called them babby's. I don't know, but I didn't know

379
00:33:14.839 --> 00:33:20.880
what baby was. I knew what babby was. So guys,

380
00:33:21.079 --> 00:33:23.799
remember that. Wow, I haven't heard that turn for a

381
00:33:23.880 --> 00:33:28.319
long time, a babby, unless, of course I'm getting it wrong.

382
00:33:29.400 --> 00:33:32.279
Maybe I was just pronouncing it incorrectly.

383
00:33:33.799 --> 00:33:41.039
It's baby Jason's baby, Babby Babby. Why are you talking

384
00:33:41.160 --> 00:33:47.200
like that, Jason? You're twelve years old? Babby Babby?

385
00:33:48.680 --> 00:33:52.839
No, I don't know. That was weird. Yeah, that was

386
00:33:52.880 --> 00:33:57.519
too weird for me. So I fall over and I

387
00:33:57.599 --> 00:34:00.759
banged my knee on the floor on the concrete. I'm crying.

388
00:34:01.000 --> 00:34:10.159
Where where I've hearded mangy mangey is so wow.

389
00:34:11.679 --> 00:34:14.400
To start with, I didn't make too much noise, but

390
00:34:14.440 --> 00:34:18.639
no one came, so I had to up it, you know,

391
00:34:18.639 --> 00:34:25.079
I had to make it louder, and you know, after

392
00:34:25.079 --> 00:34:29.360
about twenty minutes of no one taking any notice. That's

393
00:34:29.400 --> 00:34:33.599
when I used my super powerful loud voice, which I

394
00:34:33.639 --> 00:34:37.320
have hidden away. I'm not going to do an impression

395
00:34:37.320 --> 00:34:43.960
because that would be really loud. The microphone would break.

396
00:34:44.880 --> 00:34:55.880
And that's when my stepmom came running out and she tripped.

397
00:34:58.280 --> 00:35:01.519
I think she tripped on the step, but she came out.

398
00:35:01.559 --> 00:35:07.400
But the shock I know. She picked me up and

399
00:35:07.440 --> 00:35:15.239
her water broke, and it's really weird. Her water broke

400
00:35:15.599 --> 00:35:17.400
and I learned to swim at the same time. It

401
00:35:17.480 --> 00:35:20.719
was great. No. I think she picked me up and

402
00:35:20.719 --> 00:35:26.320
then she went to the kitchen and suddenly I just

403
00:35:26.360 --> 00:35:30.360
hear this splash and I'm thinking, oh, I don't have

404
00:35:30.400 --> 00:35:39.280
to clear that up. And she calls for help, and

405
00:35:39.320 --> 00:35:42.719
I'm thinking, what are you calling me for help? I'm

406
00:35:42.760 --> 00:35:46.159
the one that needs help. I'm waiting for that plaster.

407
00:35:46.320 --> 00:35:53.920
Where's the plast? Day woman? I never said that again? Wow, oh,

408
00:35:54.400 --> 00:35:57.519
but yeah, she's a woman. I've never said that to

409
00:35:57.599 --> 00:36:02.880
anyone ever in my life. I said, man, but yeah, man,

410
00:36:03.119 --> 00:36:06.000
white man, because I'm an old hippie in it. I

411
00:36:06.079 --> 00:36:08.519
used to be young hippie. Now I'm an old hippie.

412
00:36:09.159 --> 00:36:15.199
Still don't know what it means anyway, her waters broke,

413
00:36:16.159 --> 00:36:30.800
splashed everywhere, and I actually thought that my little brother

414
00:36:32.039 --> 00:36:34.400
was just going to pop out. And the reason he

415
00:36:34.440 --> 00:36:38.360
hadn't fallen on the floor is because she was wearing knickers.

416
00:36:39.559 --> 00:36:43.360
I didn't understand that the whole process of giving birth.

417
00:36:44.760 --> 00:36:47.079
I just figured that it just it'd come out with

418
00:36:47.119 --> 00:36:56.280
the water, you know, it'd flush out, and the next

419
00:36:56.320 --> 00:37:01.880
thing I know, she's my dad's it. I'm not sure

420
00:37:01.880 --> 00:37:04.199
if my dad was. I think he was there, and

421
00:37:04.280 --> 00:37:07.679
he comes in and saying, who made this mess? You know,

422
00:37:08.519 --> 00:37:13.880
and my step one pointing to me, and so it's

423
00:37:13.960 --> 00:37:17.360
my fault. So I had to go and get them

424
00:37:17.480 --> 00:37:20.719
the mopping bucket. None of that happened. Someone cleared it up.

425
00:37:20.800 --> 00:37:28.199
They must have done, and the two things they had

426
00:37:28.239 --> 00:37:32.119
to do. First of all, they had to leave us

427
00:37:32.400 --> 00:37:39.239
on our own, but they left us with I think

428
00:37:39.280 --> 00:37:42.800
I left us. They left the neighbor looking after us,

429
00:37:43.320 --> 00:37:45.559
and maybe next door that we were very close with,

430
00:37:46.159 --> 00:37:50.360
so I say close, but we liked them. They were

431
00:37:50.400 --> 00:37:54.000
really really nice people, so I think we probably stayed

432
00:37:54.559 --> 00:37:58.559
or maybe her mum came around and looked after us.

433
00:37:59.000 --> 00:38:03.719
Who was my step name? Someone did anyway, and they

434
00:38:03.760 --> 00:38:12.199
went off to hospital to have the baby, and then

435
00:38:12.679 --> 00:38:16.639
a few hours later after they left, my nanny grandad

436
00:38:16.639 --> 00:38:20.840
turned up to look after us, and they were with

437
00:38:20.920 --> 00:38:24.480
us for about three days, three or four days while

438
00:38:26.239 --> 00:38:29.760
the baby was in hospital, because the baby was born,

439
00:38:31.960 --> 00:38:35.039
you know, within a few hours. I think I'm partially

440
00:38:35.119 --> 00:38:38.039
making this up because I don't know the full facts,

441
00:38:38.159 --> 00:38:41.199
but I think my little brother was born, you know,

442
00:38:41.440 --> 00:38:53.039
fairly quick, and I think she was quite lucky. She's

443
00:38:53.039 --> 00:38:57.320
got she had an extra large uterus. So I don't

444
00:38:57.320 --> 00:39:00.480
know what one was saying this. It just lead out,

445
00:39:01.119 --> 00:39:04.760
no problems, no pain, it was just, you know, didn't

446
00:39:04.800 --> 00:39:07.119
even realize she had baby, just like it was just

447
00:39:07.960 --> 00:39:10.239
she was sitting there eating some corn flakes and my

448
00:39:10.320 --> 00:39:15.199
dad popped out. It came back and my little brother

449
00:39:15.360 --> 00:39:20.039
was just lying on the on the bed sucking. It's fun.

450
00:39:20.280 --> 00:39:25.719
She didn't realize she'd give them birth. Would you believe

451
00:39:25.719 --> 00:39:38.119
any of this? So that was my I remember visiting.

452
00:39:39.159 --> 00:39:45.599
We couldn't visit until I think the day after, so

453
00:39:46.039 --> 00:39:53.000
probably went up there on my birthday, probably to visit

454
00:39:53.400 --> 00:39:58.199
the hospital. Things were a little bit different in the seventies.

455
00:39:58.239 --> 00:40:02.239
It was you know, people stayed in hospital a lot

456
00:40:02.360 --> 00:40:08.400
longer for things that you wouldn't be in hospital for. Nowadays,

457
00:40:09.559 --> 00:40:12.480
I fact, a lot of outpatient things are done that

458
00:40:12.639 --> 00:40:18.559
used to be in patient things. You know, So things

459
00:40:18.679 --> 00:40:23.239
like having a baby, you can be in and out

460
00:40:23.239 --> 00:40:27.320
of in a short period of time, providing everything's gone

461
00:40:27.559 --> 00:40:31.119
to plan, you know. But back then she was in

462
00:40:31.159 --> 00:40:35.639
hospital for about a week. I mean, I know people

463
00:40:35.639 --> 00:40:37.400
have had their appendix out and they're out of in

464
00:40:37.440 --> 00:40:42.079
about two days. I was in for at least what

465
00:40:42.480 --> 00:40:46.119
six seven days? When I have my appendix out, I

466
00:40:46.159 --> 00:40:50.239
did milk it. I loved I'd have my favorite time

467
00:40:50.280 --> 00:40:53.719
of all. That was my favorite time my childhood was

468
00:40:53.760 --> 00:40:57.960
being in hospital. That's sad, isn't it? But I loved it.

469
00:40:58.039 --> 00:41:05.119
I did had the best time. And also I was

470
00:41:05.119 --> 00:41:09.199
in love with Nurse Nichols. So that was when I

471
00:41:09.239 --> 00:41:19.760
was about twelve though. Anyway, the most important thing, remember, yeah,

472
00:41:20.519 --> 00:41:25.000
I think we spoke to my stepmom on the phone

473
00:41:25.360 --> 00:41:30.400
and she said to me, this is like first thing

474
00:41:30.440 --> 00:41:32.440
in the I think it was first thing on the

475
00:41:32.480 --> 00:41:37.719
morning on my birthday and she says, happy birthday, Jason.

476
00:41:38.280 --> 00:41:42.960
I said thanks. She said, your little brothers. Isn't your

477
00:41:43.000 --> 00:41:45.679
little brother the best birthday? Present you could ever get.

478
00:41:50.000 --> 00:41:54.840
I didn't know what to do with that. I was like, okay,

479
00:41:54.960 --> 00:41:58.679
I want to say yes, just to make her feel better,

480
00:42:00.239 --> 00:42:03.079
to her feel that she's done something worthwhile.

481
00:42:09.679 --> 00:42:15.199
It's one that's funny, done something that actually mad. She

482
00:42:15.880 --> 00:42:18.039
meant something to me, which it didn't.

483
00:42:19.559 --> 00:42:24.039
I didn't care. It was a novelty, to be honest.

484
00:42:24.199 --> 00:42:26.719
He was a novelty when he first came along. It

485
00:42:26.840 --> 00:42:28.800
was like having a pet, really, isn't it If you

486
00:42:28.800 --> 00:42:31.159
have a new brother, like having a new kitten or

487
00:42:31.199 --> 00:42:34.920
a new dog. The novelty's there, the novelty wears off.

488
00:42:35.679 --> 00:42:39.039
It's like, yeah, I'll take him for a walk every day, promise.

489
00:42:39.960 --> 00:42:43.360
And then after three weeks, oh, you all turn to

490
00:42:43.400 --> 00:42:48.760
take him out? Can't you take him out? So yeah,

491
00:42:48.800 --> 00:42:50.559
that's kind of what it was like having a brother.

492
00:42:51.920 --> 00:42:57.079
Plus I've already had I've got two brothers already. I

493
00:42:57.159 --> 00:43:00.800
knew what to expect, and I didn't see much point

494
00:43:00.840 --> 00:43:03.880
in them, so to have another one didn't seem a

495
00:43:03.920 --> 00:43:07.079
lot of There was no logic in that. Really, my

496
00:43:07.199 --> 00:43:10.400
two pointless older ones, what's the point in another new one,

497
00:43:10.639 --> 00:43:14.960
a younger one. This is how I used to feel

498
00:43:15.000 --> 00:43:23.440
when I was eight, and so I'm on the phone

499
00:43:27.239 --> 00:43:29.639
and she's saying, yes, it is the best president you've

500
00:43:29.679 --> 00:43:31.760
ever had. Isn't it the best birthday present you could

501
00:43:31.760 --> 00:43:36.840
ever get? And I laughed, thinking she's joking, and she said,

502
00:43:36.840 --> 00:43:40.039
why are you laughing? I said, oh, no, nothing, no reason.

503
00:43:41.679 --> 00:43:44.119
I just thought of a joke that I saw in

504
00:43:44.119 --> 00:43:49.199
the Kenny Everette show. She said, what was it? I said,

505
00:43:51.079 --> 00:44:00.480
it's basically he was. I don't remember. She said, did

506
00:44:00.519 --> 00:44:05.800
you make it up? I said, no, no, it did happen,

507
00:44:05.840 --> 00:44:08.440
and just forget what it was now. But you remembered

508
00:44:08.440 --> 00:44:10.239
that when you were talking to me a second ago

509
00:44:10.960 --> 00:44:14.239
and started laughing. In fact, you remembering it while I

510
00:44:14.280 --> 00:44:17.960
was talking to you about the baby, about baby. It

511
00:44:18.000 --> 00:44:20.920
wasn't the baby baby? Do you ever see that? Do

512
00:44:21.039 --> 00:44:24.280
you hear people talk like nurses and stuff? Let's see

513
00:44:24.280 --> 00:44:31.679
how baby is today? How's baby? Like? What? Learn? My name?

514
00:44:33.280 --> 00:44:39.280
My name's Jason, not baby. How's baby? Let's wait baby?

515
00:44:40.679 --> 00:44:40.800
Oh?

516
00:44:40.920 --> 00:44:43.639
But you're looking forward to baby being born, aren't you?

517
00:44:44.079 --> 00:44:44.360
Oh?

518
00:44:44.800 --> 00:44:53.199
Baby baby? I don't know. Do people what do they

519
00:44:53.280 --> 00:44:59.119
call not wet nurses? What is the nurses that help

520
00:45:00.079 --> 00:45:04.800
pull babies out of you know, help with that part

521
00:45:04.840 --> 00:45:12.760
of it, the birth part. I don't know what they're

522
00:45:12.760 --> 00:45:20.360
called baby nurses for them people, So are they told

523
00:45:20.400 --> 00:45:23.639
to use a word word baby as often as possible,

524
00:45:26.320 --> 00:45:30.719
don't forget to feed baby? Like yeah, I feel like

525
00:45:30.800 --> 00:45:35.079
to remember that one. It's like when you're doing a meditation,

526
00:45:35.199 --> 00:45:38.880
they said, don't forget to breathe. You know, I remember

527
00:45:38.920 --> 00:45:42.559
saying at the times, you know what, I actually interrupted

528
00:45:42.800 --> 00:45:50.599
the meditation and said, I've not been rude. And I'm

529
00:45:50.679 --> 00:45:55.559
thirty one years old, thirty two years old, as you're

530
00:45:55.599 --> 00:45:57.840
thirty two years old, not really relevant the age, but

531
00:45:58.000 --> 00:46:02.199
thirty two years old. Never once have I ever forgotten

532
00:46:02.239 --> 00:46:09.440
to breathe? And the meditation teacher thought I was being

533
00:46:09.519 --> 00:46:14.360
rude rude, and I said, not being rude. It's just

534
00:46:14.400 --> 00:46:17.639
like I don't need to be told to remember to breeve.

535
00:46:17.800 --> 00:46:30.320
I've always breathed. I've never had to be reminded to breathe. Hmm, yeah,

536
00:46:30.320 --> 00:46:36.800
I didn't go down well. But anyway, baby, I said.

537
00:46:36.800 --> 00:46:39.199
When are we going to get to see baby? When

538
00:46:39.239 --> 00:46:42.880
can I meet baby? When are you bring baby home?

539
00:46:45.119 --> 00:46:51.280
Baby? Anyway? Yeah, so so she's saying, don't you think

540
00:46:51.320 --> 00:46:55.199
that's the best birthday present you could ever have? And

541
00:46:55.280 --> 00:46:59.360
I said, yeah, yeah. But seriously, though, she said, what,

542
00:47:00.599 --> 00:47:04.320
I'm actually getting a proper present, aren't they? And she laughed,

543
00:47:04.559 --> 00:47:11.480
and then I thought, well, you're laughing, but it doesn't

544
00:47:11.519 --> 00:47:13.320
mean it's a yes or a no. I don't know

545
00:47:13.320 --> 00:47:16.440
what does that mean. You laughed at the question. But

546
00:47:16.480 --> 00:47:21.079
does that mean that it's funny what I said, but

547
00:47:21.159 --> 00:47:24.199
I'm not getting a present or that I am getting

548
00:47:24.199 --> 00:47:29.480
a present, because in answer to your question, step money,

549
00:47:30.199 --> 00:47:33.440
you poo out. A new baby, a new brother is

550
00:47:33.559 --> 00:47:39.960
not my idea of a good birthday present. It's not

551
00:47:40.360 --> 00:47:44.840
just not never will be, never has been. If anything,

552
00:47:45.000 --> 00:47:49.719
it's an inconvenience. If anything, I think, if we're all honest,

553
00:47:50.840 --> 00:47:56.400
it's spoilt my birthday. It's took the shine of my birthday.

554
00:47:57.800 --> 00:48:03.360
It's definitely taken the attention away from my birthday. And

555
00:48:03.400 --> 00:48:06.039
we all know how important the eighth birthday is for

556
00:48:06.079 --> 00:48:14.480
a boy eight years old. Oh, is anyone talking about

557
00:48:14.480 --> 00:48:18.880
how Jason's doing? Or it's Jason's birthday tomorrow, or it's

558
00:48:18.960 --> 00:48:24.480
Jason's birthday today? Or or no, what are they talking about?

559
00:48:25.280 --> 00:48:28.079
Baby? We're talking about baby?

560
00:48:28.480 --> 00:48:29.239
Oh?

561
00:48:29.760 --> 00:48:32.480
Baby, how's baby doing? Because of course he didn't have

562
00:48:32.480 --> 00:48:39.320
a name yet, baby the new baby, Like, what about me?

563
00:48:40.880 --> 00:48:44.039
I used to be the baby yesterday, I was the baby.

564
00:48:44.400 --> 00:48:48.840
Now I'm not. Yeah, I've only had a year of

565
00:48:48.880 --> 00:48:54.360
being a baby. Most people get like a few years,

566
00:48:54.519 --> 00:48:56.239
or you know, get quite a long time of being

567
00:48:56.280 --> 00:48:59.639
a baby, of being the babyish and growing up and

568
00:48:59.679 --> 00:49:02.320
being a loan I didn't get that, so come on.

569
00:49:06.239 --> 00:49:07.599
The reason I didn't get it is because I was

570
00:49:07.639 --> 00:49:11.440
five when I was born. But luckily my real mum

571
00:49:11.480 --> 00:49:18.920
also had a massive We didn't bother her. The birth

572
00:49:18.920 --> 00:49:23.000
didn't bother her fallopian tube. It is that the right word,

573
00:49:23.039 --> 00:49:29.559
filopian tube or uterusfra. Yeah, she had a large urefra,

574
00:49:29.719 --> 00:49:32.280
so I was when I was born. It didn't really

575
00:49:32.280 --> 00:49:36.079
affect her. Plus I was tiny when I was born.

576
00:49:36.159 --> 00:49:41.119
I was really very small, underdeveloped. Still am a bit

577
00:49:41.400 --> 00:49:50.119
really still waiting for parts to grow. So my nan

578
00:49:50.199 --> 00:49:55.159
and granddad are looking after us. I would talk about,

579
00:49:55.199 --> 00:49:57.400
you know, seeing my little brother for the first time,

580
00:49:57.960 --> 00:50:02.559
but it was completely unmemorable, so I won't bother. It's like,

581
00:50:04.840 --> 00:50:11.199
how do people get all emotional about babies as it's

582
00:50:11.239 --> 00:50:13.800
as if it's your own baby. I understand it, but

583
00:50:13.960 --> 00:50:19.440
like as a as just another brother added on to

584
00:50:19.519 --> 00:50:21.559
the ones I've already got, which I didn't want anyway.

585
00:50:22.400 --> 00:50:23.920
I didn't want the ones. I didn't want the ones

586
00:50:23.960 --> 00:50:26.880
I had, so I definitely didn't want another one. Yeah,

587
00:50:26.920 --> 00:50:33.320
we get the idea, JJ, okay, inconvenience if anything, well,

588
00:50:33.360 --> 00:50:40.320
you know, it wasn't wasn't a special moment, and it

589
00:50:40.360 --> 00:50:46.119
was like, okay always my birthday cake didn't get to

590
00:50:46.199 --> 00:50:51.119
ice it because you were too busy giving birth to

591
00:50:51.239 --> 00:50:57.000
that thing. Yeah, I had a birthday cake that was

592
00:50:57.079 --> 00:51:07.199
just a sponge with some candles, now icing? How is

593
00:51:07.239 --> 00:51:14.920
that acceptable? How is that? In any way? It shouldn't

594
00:51:14.920 --> 00:51:19.440
be allowed. I mean that's neglect, isn't it. I mean, oh,

595
00:51:19.480 --> 00:51:21.760
you're having another baby? What about the ones you got?

596
00:51:22.199 --> 00:51:24.440
What about us? I know we're not your real kids,

597
00:51:24.440 --> 00:51:29.320
but what anyway? What about my birthday cake? Forget that

598
00:51:29.320 --> 00:51:31.559
that silly little thing you just had? What about my

599
00:51:31.599 --> 00:51:35.800
birthday cake? Had a bit of an attitude on eight, didn't.

600
00:51:35.840 --> 00:51:41.800
I don't come across its very nice? Did I back then? Oh?

601
00:51:41.880 --> 00:51:44.239
Much nicer. It was much nicer by the time I

602
00:51:44.320 --> 00:51:49.840
got to ten. To be fair, the next year was

603
00:51:49.840 --> 00:51:53.079
all right because I just saw how much stray, not

604
00:51:53.119 --> 00:51:56.679
getting any sleep, the effects it had on the parents.

605
00:51:57.440 --> 00:52:00.320
I was like, yeah, I get your back for me

606
00:52:00.360 --> 00:52:05.360
not having a proper birthday. Hmmm. I think they must

607
00:52:05.360 --> 00:52:08.800
have aged about ten years in the first year of

608
00:52:08.920 --> 00:52:15.639
having a baby. It was great. So I none of

609
00:52:15.679 --> 00:52:23.480
this is true. I know, we went and visited the baby,

610
00:52:23.920 --> 00:52:33.440
went and visited the baby. And I mean even back then,

611
00:52:33.719 --> 00:52:39.159
I thought, you know what, the nurses in the hospital

612
00:52:39.519 --> 00:52:43.360
that back then they used to have nurses do the

613
00:52:43.480 --> 00:52:50.519
nurse's job, and now they've got care workers, care assistance,

614
00:52:50.599 --> 00:52:54.119
care workers doing the nurse's job. The nurses seemed to

615
00:52:54.119 --> 00:52:59.079
be doing the doctor's job, and the doctors, uh, just

616
00:53:00.039 --> 00:53:04.159
come and go and doing whatever. Probably doing a surgeon

617
00:53:04.199 --> 00:53:10.039
s job. I don't know, but I couldn't. Honestly, it's amazing.

618
00:53:10.039 --> 00:53:12.440
If you go to the hospital now, it's changed so much.

619
00:53:14.440 --> 00:53:17.119
No one seems to be getting paid for what they're doing.

620
00:53:17.719 --> 00:53:20.199
Like the level of what they're doing. The nurses are

621
00:53:20.199 --> 00:53:23.320
doing so much more than they used to. The care

622
00:53:23.360 --> 00:53:25.599
workers are doing so much more than they used to.

623
00:53:26.719 --> 00:53:31.360
It's I mean, I'm pretty sure I saw one of

624
00:53:31.400 --> 00:53:47.239
the cleaners doing a heart transplant on one of the patients. Oh,

625
00:53:47.880 --> 00:53:57.920
admittedly she did get arrested. Who's only in with a

626
00:53:57.960 --> 00:54:08.840
broken leg, So that was silly, I figured out because

627
00:54:09.119 --> 00:54:14.400
the baby was taken into this room of other babies

628
00:54:14.440 --> 00:54:18.599
and stuff, and the nurse said, oh, go and get

629
00:54:18.599 --> 00:54:23.760
your baby. Can get baby. I can't get baby, and

630
00:54:23.880 --> 00:54:28.960
came in with a cot and this little scrunched up thing,

631
00:54:29.639 --> 00:54:37.559
little gargoyle. The I mean, the thing is, you know,

632
00:54:37.679 --> 00:54:40.400
sometimes you think, oh no, but if you actually looked

633
00:54:40.400 --> 00:54:43.159
at baby and said to someone, do you know what

634
00:54:43.519 --> 00:54:48.480
that's spent the last nine months underwater? You believe Munya

635
00:54:49.199 --> 00:54:51.800
because it looks like it's spent the last nine months

636
00:54:51.880 --> 00:54:56.920
underwater without any air, without any light. I mean, they're

637
00:54:56.920 --> 00:55:01.679
basically like little sea creatures that you'd expect to find

638
00:55:01.719 --> 00:55:07.559
at the bottom of a big ship. It's you know

639
00:55:07.599 --> 00:55:11.000
what I mean, if you if you woke up and okay, okay,

640
00:55:11.039 --> 00:55:11.840
I won't go any further.

641
00:55:12.119 --> 00:55:19.119
Just yeah, babies horrible looking things. There was there was

642
00:55:19.239 --> 00:55:22.519
years ago there was these baby doll things and they

643
00:55:22.559 --> 00:55:26.800
look like babies and they were the most ugliest things ever.

644
00:55:28.119 --> 00:55:31.800
And the reason that they actually looked and I realized,

645
00:55:31.800 --> 00:55:35.679
like they look like babies, like real babies, you know,

646
00:55:35.719 --> 00:55:41.239
when they're first born, all crinkles and this, it's like

647
00:55:42.519 --> 00:55:46.280
they haven't become because it's not really until it become toddlers.

648
00:55:46.760 --> 00:55:50.320
And then they become like miniature humans, don't they. They

649
00:55:50.360 --> 00:55:56.679
look like humans almost, but with huge heads and little bodies,

650
00:55:58.039 --> 00:56:02.280
so alien humans. But you know, gradually they grow into

651
00:56:02.320 --> 00:56:04.440
their head, don't they by the time they get to

652
00:56:04.519 --> 00:56:11.440
about seven or eight, maybe nine. I mean, that head's

653
00:56:11.480 --> 00:56:17.079
so big and the eyes like et it's ridiculous. The

654
00:56:17.159 --> 00:56:20.280
eyes are bigger than their head. I mean, how is

655
00:56:20.320 --> 00:56:22.760
that even possible? How can an eye be bigger than

656
00:56:22.760 --> 00:56:29.360
the head it's in. I mean, the eyes are definitely

657
00:56:29.360 --> 00:56:34.599
bigger than his mouth. His eyes wouldn't even fit in

658
00:56:34.639 --> 00:56:36.679
his mouth. I mean, I'm not I didn't try. I'm

659
00:56:36.679 --> 00:56:41.679
saying it's just such a weird kind of organism and

660
00:56:42.320 --> 00:56:46.000
it was a mess. But I started thinking, well, how

661
00:56:46.000 --> 00:56:49.920
do you know that this is the baby bear? In

662
00:56:49.920 --> 00:56:53.880
the mind? You called and war them baby? No one's

663
00:56:53.880 --> 00:56:57.559
got a name yet, so because this is back in

664
00:56:57.599 --> 00:57:01.239
the days when people didn't they'd wait days before giving

665
00:57:01.239 --> 00:57:05.400
a name to a kid. I've got a name straight away,

666
00:57:08.119 --> 00:57:10.760
but I recommended it and they didn't go for it.

667
00:57:11.079 --> 00:57:15.280
My mum was bastard, but no, or another one was

668
00:57:15.320 --> 00:57:18.800
you ruined our birthday. But they didn't want that either.

669
00:57:18.800 --> 00:57:21.079
They said that's a sentence. I said, no, if you

670
00:57:21.119 --> 00:57:24.199
put it all together, I said, no, you can't have

671
00:57:24.639 --> 00:57:26.800
a word that's really long like that. I said, if

672
00:57:26.800 --> 00:57:30.320
you've never been to India, they have names that are

673
00:57:30.400 --> 00:57:35.920
like longer than the alphabet some of their names, or Thailand,

674
00:57:36.239 --> 00:57:39.239
it's like, honestly, some of the names are so long.

675
00:57:40.360 --> 00:57:42.840
And she said that's border on racism. I said, no,

676
00:57:42.880 --> 00:57:46.320
it's not bordering on race. It's actually true. Look it up.

677
00:57:47.760 --> 00:57:51.039
Look it up. I know that you've lost a lot

678
00:57:51.039 --> 00:57:53.760
of blood and a lot of liquid given birth and that,

679
00:57:53.920 --> 00:57:56.880
but I mean when you pulled him out, did you

680
00:57:56.920 --> 00:58:01.159
pull out your own brain as well? Apparently that's the

681
00:58:01.159 --> 00:58:03.280
line you shouldn't cross with your parents.

682
00:58:03.079 --> 00:58:14.760
And say stuff like that. Oh dear, that's so ridiculous

683
00:58:14.760 --> 00:58:15.639
what I'm saying.

684
00:58:15.400 --> 00:58:18.960
Today, I don't mean any of it. I'm just in

685
00:58:19.000 --> 00:58:25.519
a weird mood. But yeah, god, he was ugly anyway, horrible,

686
00:58:26.760 --> 00:58:31.880
And I just thought, do they just randomly just dis

687
00:58:31.960 --> 00:58:34.519
grabbed the first baby that they see and bring it

688
00:58:34.559 --> 00:58:37.320
in because they all look the same. How do they

689
00:58:37.320 --> 00:58:42.159
tell the difference? Oh he's so pretty.

690
00:58:42.599 --> 00:58:44.719
Oh it's so beautiful my little baby.

691
00:58:44.880 --> 00:58:50.920
No he's not, no offense, but no, they look they're

692
00:58:51.000 --> 00:58:56.159
just crinkled. I don't know how to explain that don't

693
00:58:56.199 --> 00:59:02.199
look much different to like newborn mice. There's that look

694
00:59:02.239 --> 00:59:06.039
of like a little crinkled and or a little puppy

695
00:59:06.800 --> 00:59:09.400
or a little cat like really you know newborn where

696
00:59:09.400 --> 00:59:12.480
they've got no hair and they just basically just pink.

697
00:59:14.559 --> 00:59:17.239
The difference is with a puppy they grow very quick,

698
00:59:17.440 --> 00:59:21.400
and a cat does as well. Humans I still look

699
00:59:21.519 --> 00:59:31.119
like that, still pink and baled. It's no fear. So yeah,

700
00:59:31.280 --> 00:59:34.239
babies are good. It's brilliant and so happy. When he

701
00:59:34.320 --> 00:59:39.199
was born, it changed my life. It did change my

702
00:59:39.239 --> 00:59:46.880
life actually because he stayed in the house. Obviously we

703
00:59:47.079 --> 00:59:49.719
had to have him in the house. I mean, unfortunately

704
00:59:49.920 --> 00:59:52.440
they brought him home. I thought it was just going

705
00:59:52.519 --> 00:59:54.519
to be they like send him off for adoption like

706
00:59:54.559 --> 01:00:01.159
they did me. But no, they brought him back and

707
01:00:01.199 --> 01:00:06.960
he stayed in my dad's room, their parents' room for

708
01:00:07.000 --> 01:00:11.719
probably about six months, so I still had my bedroom

709
01:00:12.000 --> 01:00:14.800
is right next to their bedroom. Now I was tired,

710
01:00:15.880 --> 01:00:18.159
I think it used to keep the baby like wake

711
01:00:18.239 --> 01:00:21.880
me up and stuff. So it wasn't ideal because it

712
01:00:21.960 --> 01:00:23.760
was a small house. There's no way to get away

713
01:00:23.760 --> 01:00:31.960
from the screaming, and my brothers complained about it. My

714
01:00:32.079 --> 01:00:36.079
dad wasn't happy with it. Eventually sat me down and

715
01:00:36.119 --> 01:00:40.119
asked me to stop screaming. So I stopped. It's a

716
01:00:40.239 --> 01:00:46.559
joke in there somewhere, And eventually we had to move

717
01:00:46.599 --> 01:00:54.559
out of there because he needed his own room. So

718
01:00:54.719 --> 01:01:00.599
he moved out into a big house and we all

719
01:01:00.639 --> 01:01:03.000
had our own rooms, and that's where it all kind

720
01:01:03.000 --> 01:01:07.119
of went wrong from there, really, but that was the

721
01:01:07.239 --> 01:01:09.599
nicest house I ever lived in, that little house where

722
01:01:09.599 --> 01:01:16.599
my nanogrand had then moved in as well. The weird

723
01:01:16.639 --> 01:01:20.679
thing about my brother though, sort of once he sort

724
01:01:20.679 --> 01:01:26.880
of developed kind of a likeness to human, to a human,

725
01:01:27.400 --> 01:01:32.000
you know, he kind of had facial expressions and he looked, Yeah,

726
01:01:32.039 --> 01:01:34.360
it looked human. It was probably a toddler at this point.

727
01:01:37.119 --> 01:01:40.960
He's kept exactly the same face the whole life, his

728
01:01:41.079 --> 01:01:44.199
whole life. And you might think, well, yeah, everyone does

729
01:01:45.480 --> 01:01:49.480
unless you have surgery. Like, no, I look nothing like

730
01:01:49.599 --> 01:01:52.559
how I looked when I was a kid, not even

731
01:01:52.599 --> 01:01:56.360
when I was fifteen, not even when I was eight twelve,

732
01:01:57.480 --> 01:01:59.840
not even when I was twenty. I don't look the same.

733
01:02:00.599 --> 01:02:07.039
He looks exactly the same. He looks older, of course,

734
01:02:07.239 --> 01:02:10.760
I'm it'd be weird, and't when he was two he

735
01:02:10.800 --> 01:02:16.760
looked forty seven. That would be strange. But he's still

736
01:02:16.880 --> 01:02:21.920
got the same features, still looks the same, same facial expression,

737
01:02:24.920 --> 01:02:27.239
my remover. I mean, he's got more than one facial expression.

738
01:02:27.280 --> 01:02:33.199
I'm sure I've seen at least two. So it's he's

739
01:02:33.280 --> 01:02:38.559
ruined my birthday, man, I mean eighth birthdays, it's supposed

740
01:02:38.559 --> 01:02:42.039
to be a special occasion. But what I did do

741
01:02:42.159 --> 01:02:44.159
I'll give you the next part of the story tomorrow.

742
01:02:44.159 --> 01:02:48.760
Actually i'll tell you about presents and stuff. But on

743
01:02:48.800 --> 01:02:55.760
my actual birthday, I did get some golf clubs, like

744
01:02:55.800 --> 01:02:59.679
a putting set, but there weren't no crappy thing. These

745
01:02:59.679 --> 01:03:07.039
are like heavy steal golf clubs, and they were good.

746
01:03:07.199 --> 01:03:09.719
They were heavy. They were good, really probably about heavy

747
01:03:09.719 --> 01:03:18.400
as I was actually, And I don't remember what else

748
01:03:18.480 --> 01:03:23.639
I got, but I think we were in the garden

749
01:03:23.719 --> 01:03:27.840
and I was trying to I was trying to enjoy

750
01:03:27.920 --> 01:03:34.480
my birthday, but things felt like they'd changed. You know.

751
01:03:35.960 --> 01:03:38.880
It's almost like I was turning. I was turning into

752
01:03:38.920 --> 01:03:45.840
an adult. And I suppose I knew that things were

753
01:03:45.840 --> 01:03:50.039
never going to be the same again, because when they

754
01:03:50.079 --> 01:03:52.400
came back, they were going to have this little alien

755
01:03:52.440 --> 01:03:57.559
with them. They're going to give it all this attention, which,

756
01:03:57.599 --> 01:04:00.920
as I said, is fun for the first couple of days,

757
01:04:02.119 --> 01:04:06.000
maybe three or four days even. I don't know how

758
01:04:06.039 --> 01:04:10.039
people may make that kind of how to keep the

759
01:04:10.079 --> 01:04:13.639
interest up, I don't know. I guess it's just lucky.

760
01:04:13.679 --> 01:04:17.119
I never became a parent, I suppose, but they managed

761
01:04:17.159 --> 01:04:26.760
to keep interest. And it's gotta be boring, is't it.

762
01:04:28.280 --> 01:04:34.440
So it's like what it does is just cry, go

763
01:04:34.559 --> 01:04:39.239
to the toilet and cry, and sleep and go to

764
01:04:39.280 --> 01:04:45.079
the toilet and sleep whilst going to the toilet. You know,

765
01:04:45.159 --> 01:04:48.599
it's just it's this. There's not a lot of points

766
01:04:48.599 --> 01:04:51.920
to them, is there. I mean, if that was a gift,

767
01:04:51.920 --> 01:04:54.360
if someone gave you a gift and that's all it did,

768
01:04:55.239 --> 01:05:00.280
pooed and cried and slept, you'd give it back. Say no, Okay,

769
01:05:00.440 --> 01:05:08.039
can I change this please? Could I? Yeah? Can I

770
01:05:08.079 --> 01:05:13.320
have a television? Yeah? Can I? Yeah? Thanks? I'd like

771
01:05:13.440 --> 01:05:18.599
something different. This isn't. No, it's not all I ever

772
01:05:18.639 --> 01:05:23.360
hoped it would be. All it does is just cry

773
01:05:23.760 --> 01:05:33.800
and pooh and sleep. How's that supposed to be fun? No? No,

774
01:05:34.199 --> 01:05:37.920
I want to give it back you. Okay, well, have

775
01:05:37.960 --> 01:05:41.599
you got a different one? Can I Can I exchange

776
01:05:41.639 --> 01:05:44.679
it for a different baby when it doesn't make so

777
01:05:44.760 --> 01:05:49.480
much noise? And if you've got any of that pooh

778
01:05:49.480 --> 01:05:51.519
a little bit. They don't pooh much, you know, just

779
01:05:51.559 --> 01:06:07.679
a small amount. Okay, we'll take it back. Then. I

780
01:06:07.679 --> 01:06:09.360
don't know how long it was before they gave him

781
01:06:09.360 --> 01:06:13.000
a name. I didn't like any of my suggestions, as

782
01:06:13.000 --> 01:06:22.960
I already said, birthday ruiner. So yeah, ruined my birthday,

783
01:06:23.079 --> 01:06:31.519
my eighth birthday. And then see it was never never

784
01:06:31.599 --> 01:06:34.119
really like growing up from then on to the age

785
01:06:34.119 --> 01:06:39.039
of fifteen, we did celebrate birthdays. And that's the one really,

786
01:06:39.239 --> 01:06:41.880
you know thing I can never take away from my

787
01:06:41.960 --> 01:06:47.760
dad and his wife at the time. They really went

788
01:06:47.800 --> 01:06:51.239
all out for birthdays, Christmases things like that. Really did.

789
01:06:51.559 --> 01:06:54.639
Couldn't ask some more, and well I could ask some

790
01:06:54.719 --> 01:06:58.480
more is to not have a baby brother. But I'm

791
01:06:58.480 --> 01:07:00.639
going to send him a happy birthday tech stuff. Just

792
01:07:00.760 --> 01:07:04.760
after doing this, I've just spend the hour slagging him off.

793
01:07:05.199 --> 01:07:07.639
But yeah, I will, I will say happy birthday, brother,

794
01:07:08.880 --> 01:07:16.199
Please don't listen to my podcast, please please don't. And

795
01:07:16.400 --> 01:07:20.800
sunny jokes, sony silliness, just a bit of uh in

796
01:07:20.920 --> 01:07:27.119
it and ah, just messing about that's all, nothing serious,

797
01:07:28.159 --> 01:07:34.360
just having a laugh. So yeah, but it did. It

798
01:07:34.400 --> 01:07:39.000
did my birthday, but in reality it did. But it

799
01:07:39.119 --> 01:07:41.320
also kind of it was nice to have my birthday

800
01:07:43.159 --> 01:07:49.800
not directly after the day of my brother's birthday. You know,

801
01:07:49.840 --> 01:07:51.440
it's nice to have a few a little bit of

802
01:07:51.480 --> 01:07:56.599
time in between birthdays. So it's almost like it'd be

803
01:07:56.639 --> 01:08:00.360
a big celebration for him and then to be a

804
01:08:00.400 --> 01:08:05.280
celebration for me on my birthday. But it was kind

805
01:08:05.280 --> 01:08:09.559
of eclipsed by him because he was clearly the most

806
01:08:09.559 --> 01:08:15.719
important child in the world. I was like, Okay, if

807
01:08:15.719 --> 01:08:23.239
he really is that important, then shouldn't he be. I mean, honestly,

808
01:08:23.279 --> 01:08:25.760
it's like he was a second coming or something. I

809
01:08:25.840 --> 01:08:29.439
just thought, God, this is ridiculous. It made such a

810
01:08:29.439 --> 01:08:32.319
big thing. He can't even read yet. I mean, we

811
01:08:32.319 --> 01:08:34.800
don't know if he's going to start preaching and stuff

812
01:08:34.840 --> 01:08:37.479
like that when he gets older, healing people. We don't

813
01:08:37.520 --> 01:08:40.439
know he can't read yet. Well he's still he's still dribbling,

814
01:08:41.239 --> 01:08:43.199
and you know it's hard. He won't even eat his

815
01:08:43.239 --> 01:08:47.000
food about spitting it out everywhere, which I do agree

816
01:08:47.119 --> 01:08:53.199
was quite funny that he did that. But yeah, he

817
01:08:53.880 --> 01:09:03.319
spoil my birthday. And I sometimes felt that because we

818
01:09:03.359 --> 01:09:07.119
had this ceremony thing where we'd go into no sacrifices

819
01:09:07.159 --> 01:09:10.359
or anything, just like that kind of ceremony. We'll go

820
01:09:10.399 --> 01:09:13.239
into the people's birth into their bedrooms and sort of

821
01:09:13.239 --> 01:09:17.720
seeing happy birthday, all that stuff, and give them presents.

822
01:09:17.920 --> 01:09:20.920
And it was lovely. It was really lovely. And I'm

823
01:09:20.960 --> 01:09:24.159
just joking about but it was nice. But I got

824
01:09:24.159 --> 01:09:28.279
the sense that everyone was birth dayed out by the

825
01:09:28.399 --> 01:09:32.760
end of the twenty fifth and then my birthday was

826
01:09:32.800 --> 01:09:36.560
in twenty six and it didn't seem as if the

827
01:09:36.760 --> 01:09:42.720
energy was there. I can imagine it's like going to

828
01:09:42.760 --> 01:09:47.239
see someone performing in the theater, but they're doing two shows,

829
01:09:48.039 --> 01:09:50.920
one at five o'clock and then one at eight o'clock,

830
01:09:52.119 --> 01:09:59.199
and maybe feels like you've gone to the last show

831
01:09:59.239 --> 01:10:02.039
the second show, and they were a bit they were

832
01:10:02.079 --> 01:10:06.720
a bit tired, perhaps a little bit bored. Maybe they

833
01:10:06.720 --> 01:10:10.199
don't really feel in the mood to do a second show.

834
01:10:13.079 --> 01:10:17.600
Maybe perhaps the audience just that they just wanted to

835
01:10:17.600 --> 01:10:19.359
be over and done with so they can go home.

836
01:10:20.880 --> 01:10:27.880
I felt a little bit of that lackluster sometimes, but

837
01:10:28.319 --> 01:10:31.079
that was just from my parents, my brothers. I mean,

838
01:10:31.119 --> 01:10:34.279
they were just there because I had to be, not

839
01:10:34.399 --> 01:10:36.960
when none of us liked each other. So it was

840
01:10:37.039 --> 01:10:40.359
a case of like, Okay, here we go again, people,

841
01:10:40.359 --> 01:10:47.119
birthday two. It's just going through the like like wrote wrote,

842
01:10:47.159 --> 01:10:54.720
isn't it just going through the the the whatever? Going

843
01:10:55.039 --> 01:11:09.720
through going through Happy Birthday two? It was nice, though

844
01:11:10.000 --> 01:11:13.720
it got a bit weird when I got older. I

845
01:11:13.800 --> 01:11:17.760
don't want to kind of hit teenage years. It wasn't

846
01:11:17.760 --> 01:11:21.800
so much like bursting in happy birthday, you know, everyone

847
01:11:21.840 --> 01:11:24.319
burst in. It more like knock on the door, Jason,

848
01:11:25.359 --> 01:11:27.640
knock on the door again. We're going to come in

849
01:11:27.640 --> 01:11:32.399
and surprise you a birthday presents. Are you awake? Are

850
01:11:32.439 --> 01:11:38.079
you dressed? Yeah, you've got a big clothes over you. Okay,

851
01:11:38.800 --> 01:11:47.800
we're going to come in one and accounted one hundred, one, two, three,

852
01:11:48.119 --> 01:11:53.720
four five. And then they'd come in and they'd be like, oh, surprise,

853
01:11:54.880 --> 01:11:58.880
Well I pretend I was asleep, you know it just says,

854
01:11:58.920 --> 01:12:06.920
I'm walking into me kind of looking like I've sitting

855
01:12:07.000 --> 01:12:11.720
underneath a tent on the bedclothes over. So, yeah, that

856
01:12:11.880 --> 01:12:20.239
was good. Yeah, I liked I liked birthdays. But for me,

857
01:12:21.840 --> 01:12:27.479
the main thing about birthdays was the presence and it

858
01:12:27.560 --> 01:12:31.119
always was and I'll be honest, that's what it was about.

859
01:12:32.159 --> 01:12:38.000
It wasn't really bothered about the attention, you know, have

860
01:12:38.119 --> 01:12:42.720
an attention on me. What it wasn't always. I mean

861
01:12:42.760 --> 01:12:45.800
it was positive attention, but you know, throughout the year

862
01:12:45.960 --> 01:12:49.359
learned that I try and stay in the background. Don't

863
01:12:49.359 --> 01:12:52.039
want attention on me because then you don't know what's

864
01:12:52.079 --> 01:12:54.880
going to come up. I don't know what you know,

865
01:12:54.920 --> 01:12:57.840
what subject is going to be arisen. So I just like, okay,

866
01:12:58.520 --> 01:13:02.239
it's yeah, I like it, but let's just focus on

867
01:13:02.279 --> 01:13:08.439
something else now while I play with my new toys. Yeah,

868
01:13:08.479 --> 01:13:13.239
I did like I like getting gifts. That's what birthdays

869
01:13:13.239 --> 01:13:26.279
are about. Yeah, it's been a long time since I don't. Yeah,

870
01:13:26.439 --> 01:13:31.840
I have had presents, but it's hardly I mean, I've

871
01:13:31.880 --> 01:13:37.079
got two birthday cards that I've been given, which is nice.

872
01:13:37.920 --> 01:13:45.199
So I've received those Thursday, I think, and that's from

873
01:13:45.239 --> 01:13:48.960
my dad and my brother. And that's it. So two

874
01:13:49.000 --> 01:13:57.680
birthday cards for this year. It's not that I want thousands,

875
01:13:57.760 --> 01:13:59.640
but you know, a couple of hundred to be nice,

876
01:14:02.239 --> 01:14:08.600
just a couple of hundred, even one hundred and eighty six.

877
01:14:10.119 --> 01:14:15.119
You know, I don't want much, and this is a

878
01:14:15.119 --> 01:14:17.039
fifty pound not in each one as well, you know,

879
01:14:17.439 --> 01:14:19.079
apart from now, I don't want much.

880
01:14:20.920 --> 01:14:24.920
No no, I don't no no, no, no, no, no

881
01:14:24.920 --> 01:14:25.600
no now.

882
01:14:31.520 --> 01:14:35.479
And that I do believe is me talking a bunch

883
01:14:35.560 --> 01:14:43.560
of rubbish for about seventy five minutes, and I don't

884
01:14:43.600 --> 01:14:49.199
know what I've talked about. It's a happy birthday little

885
01:14:49.199 --> 01:14:56.279
brother as well. It is happy birthday to you, forty seven.

886
01:14:56.560 --> 01:15:00.359
It's amazing, it's great. It's the thing is you know,

887
01:15:00.439 --> 01:15:07.359
all seriousness. My little brother's good bloke. He's yeah, he's

888
01:15:07.399 --> 01:15:14.520
a good one. So yeah, I wish him well. After

889
01:15:14.600 --> 01:15:23.560
all that BlimE me, I'm going to go, Oh I

890
01:15:23.560 --> 01:15:27.720
could eat I could eat an Obolet really eat an omelok?

891
01:15:27.800 --> 01:15:35.000
Right now? Mm hmmm, So I'm going to go. Thank

892
01:15:35.079 --> 01:15:39.479
you for listening. Remember to be kind to yourself because

893
01:15:39.479 --> 01:15:47.039
you do deserve to be happy. Lots of love. Bye,