June 16, 2025

(no music) BISCUITS | Monday’s Boring Objects | LMBYTS #1376 | Jason Newland | 16th June 2025

(no music) BISCUITS | Monday’s Boring Objects | LMBYTS #1376 | Jason Newland | 16th June 2025
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WEBVTT

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Hello, and welcome to let me bore you to sleep.

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My name's Jason Newland and my website who is Jasonnewland

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dot com where all my recordings live YEA. Also have

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a Facebook group Jason Newlands Boring Group on Facebook. There's

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a link on my website to there, and also YouTube

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channel at Jason Newland. So please only listen when you

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can safety close your eyes. This is boring or Monday's

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boring objects now, Vinny, it's on the floor at the moment, Chew.

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I've put some food out for him and he's not

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touched it because it's not the food that he likes.

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You could argue, well, would you eat food you didn't like?

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It's a fair enough argument, but he used to like it. Well,

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if you've never gone off food, have you? You liked everything?

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You've always liked every single food you've ever had. You're

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never eating something then got fed up with it? Right, Okay,

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blind me calm down. Yeah, there have been things that

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I've overeaten. There was his biscuits once. Biscuits is going

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to be the subject today, by the way, biscuits. I'm

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I was gonna say, I'm scraping a barrel, but I'm

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scrape I'm scraping the biscuit tin for this one. Biscuits.

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How can I talk for an about biscuits. If anyone

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can do it, I can do it. I suppose biscuits. Well,

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the memory I just had was I used to visit

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my men. This is when she was alive and the

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best time to visit people I find. And she had these,

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Oh man, they were so nice. They were because in

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the early days before she kind of lost her mobility,

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she used to be making cakes. Are such nice cakes,

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especially the rock cakes. All the bestest rock cakes I've

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ever had in my life, still to this day. And

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they were just perfect, even if, to be fair, even

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if they were sometimes a bit burnt, it didn't matter.

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They were just effect. There were my Nanny Newland's rock

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cakes that was just however they were. I want to

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say burnt, you know, because sometimes if you leave them

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in the oven a little bit too long. We know

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what burnt means. Am I going to have this? Are

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you going to be argumented? If the whole recording maybe right?

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Vinnie started barking there was a dog in the distance,

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well somewhere, I mean, what is distance and what is close?

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Talking about distancing close. I was in the park earlier

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and I thought I saw a couple of Dobeman's running

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towards me off the lead. So I was like, oh,

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but I got it wrong because I didn't have my

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glasses on. I just forgot to take my asses with me,

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and I realized I looked down at it was just

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a couple of choo I was chill. I was was

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actually about two inches from my feet. They look exactly

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like they look the same as Doberman. Anyway, there's a

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few unfriendly dog walkers. There's like the friendly ones and

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then there's the ones that just almost don't want to interact,

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which is up to them, I know, but I've made

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the effort to be friendly if I can. I don't know.

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There's just some some dog walkers I like, they kind

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of pull the dog away from me, even I understand

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if it's a dangerous dog or you know, if it's

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a dangerous dogwise and not on a muzzle would be

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my question. But h strange, the strange old world. The

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dog dogg in and so this dog, I don't know,

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Vinnie was. He wasn't just barking, he was howling like

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a wolf. You know, his his face looking up to

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the sky. Oh oh, which he doesn't do very often.

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So it was very much a kind of a pack call.

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He was. It's definitely it was. There's something kind of

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communication going on there. I would say I had to

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shut him up because the neighbor downstairs is probably asleep.

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Don't want to disturbing the neighbors, especially as tomorrow the

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building works begins. Burn burm, burm. Yeah. My neighbor opposite

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has his bathroom. It was bathroom is going to be rebuilt,

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so it's going to be noise noise, noise, noise for

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it'll probably be full on for about a week while

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the rest of this week Tuesday to Friday, and then

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it will reduce a little bit after that. The first

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bit is I seem to dig up the concrete. I

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think digging up the bath is a proper like shakes

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the whole building. I'm not going to be able to

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make a recording when they're here, So I was thinking,

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maybe try and do the recordings today while it's relatively quiet.

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I mean, I was thinking, actually early on, I should

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make the most of it being quiet and relax, Maybe

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watch a couple of movies, you know, just have like

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a relaxing day where there's not noise, because guarantee what

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happens when there's noise in one flat, another neighbor would

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turn music on to cover up that noise for them,

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and then another neighbor would turn up to cover up

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the noise of that music, and before you know, it

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is like noisy, really noisy, and it's yeah, it's just

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human nature to do that. I mean, the most I

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would do is I put my headphones on so I

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can kind of block out the noise with my headphones.

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But it limits me to what I can do. I mean,

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I could listen to music, or I could watch TV

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and stuff, watch a movie. I'll probably just take this

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one out for a few long longer really said the

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word longer journeys tomorrow in it, So ickon Tuesday and

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Wednesday will be the Tuesday Wednesday third, which is the

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next The rest of this week will be the most

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amount of disruption auditory wise. But then there's a lot

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of doors slamming, they're coming and going, and you know,

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so that that agitates the old vincet here. So I

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guess he'll be doing a bit of barking. So what

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I'll try and do is when they do get here.

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What what I like to do. If there's builders coming

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into the building, I try and introduce Viny to them

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so then he knows who they are. Once he's met them,

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he doesn't seem so bothered. But if someone comes in

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and out of the building continuously and he hasn't seen

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them and he doesn't know who they are, it seems

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to irritate him a bit, don't it. What are you

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sniffing there for? There's nothing there? Trust me, well there is,

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but it's nothing, nothing interesting. Wow. Yeah, so my name

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got these biscuits. I can't evenmember what they were called,

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but there is super delicious. And she'd make a cup

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of tea, like you know, I want to go around.

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She'd make a cup of tea. Sometimes i'd do it

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for you know, especially when she lived in the sheld accommodation.

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I'd make a cup of tea for her. I remember saying,

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I remember the first time made her a cup of tea.

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Which is going to sound weird, but I think the

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first time I ever made my name a cup of tea,

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I was in my forties. She always did it, you know,

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And I remember saying, how many sugars. Then six said

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six sugars of the tea, and being being British, being

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English or whatever I had, I had no choice but

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to say, oh, would you like some tea with your sugar?

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Because you know all English people say that, and we

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find it hilarious every time we say it. Yes we do, Yes,

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we do viny yes. Starting another one is like when

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someone say in hell, I won't say the actual word

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f in hell, and the comeback for that, being English

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is I hope so there's no TV there. It's what

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did I say? I heard radio DJ the other day

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moaning about pigeons. Now, if you follow me, you know

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that I'm a pigeon lover. Horace is one of my

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best friends and he's a pigeon. He's been visited me

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for ten years. It's weird he looks younger now. Oh

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but and there's a different color. But you know, Horace like,

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I love pigeons. I always have done, even when as

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a little kid going to Trafalgar Square. That was this DJ.

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This radio presenter was moaning about pigeons and he lives

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in London and he was saying, it's so good now

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that they the government or the London mayor at the time,

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managed to get rid of those people selling I don't know,

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pigeons seed to the tourists in order to stop encouraging

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because I made it illegal to try and get rid

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of the pigeons from Trafalgar Square. What did they think

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Trafalgar Square was famous for around the world, those big statues.

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Maybe the pigeons. Yeah, as an experience, the statues don't

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do anything. They just stand there and yeah, they mean something.

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I don't know what they are, but they mean something

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to people that are into that stuff historically. I mean,

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is is church. I don't even know what statues are

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in Trafalgar Square to be honest with you. I know

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there's a lion. There's a lion. Isn't there a big

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golden lion or silver lion or something like that. And

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I mean they are impressive, especially when you're a little kid, like, Wow,

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they're huge. How did they manage to fit them on there? God,

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whoever lifted that must have been super strong. Perhaps it

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was super a man's that's what. Well, that's what my

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brothers were saying. I said, nope, it's a wonder Woman

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because I was obsessed with wonder Woman back then, and

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I just you don't like, Actually, what do people take

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pictures of? You can't take picture of you. I suppose

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if you're if you're far enough away from the statue,

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you can get a picture of you with the statue

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in the background. I guess, like the Eiffel Tower and

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things like that, which is just up the road. I think,

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I think that's in Leicester Square. And but what do

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people go home with when they've been to Like what

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back in those days, in the seventies, any eighties maybe,

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and probably decades before that, people took photographs of their

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holiday to London. There would be at least one photograph

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of them covered in pigeons. That's what Travalger Square was

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fain the pigeons. They got rid of it. They got

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rid of the pigeons, and I can't seem to let

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it go. It's weird. I didn't realize it affected me

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so much. I love the pigeons. One of my happiest

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memories as a child was apart from being on a

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rough Harry show, which was kind of that's a whole different.

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What are you doing. You're attacking me. I'm talking to

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Vinny there, not rof He It's a bit. Yeah, I

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was on a rough Harry show. That wasn't a joke

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because seriously was on a rough Harry show when I

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was about ten, nine or ten, and it was one

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of the best days of my life, genuinely. And I

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would say there's thousands and thousands and thousands of other

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kids that would also say the same. Maybe not the

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best day of their life, but it was an amazing

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experience for most people that did it, because it was

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just I loved it. I got to see Keith Keith

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Harris with awful and cuddles, and I got to see Dollar,

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who were really big at the time as well. They

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were a group. I can't remember what song they sung.

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You can do something like that anyway. I've talked about

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that before, but that that is just you know. But

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one of the experiences I really enjoyed was it was

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in the children's home and it's a little period between

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moving in with my dad and his new wife, and

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so it was in South End. We're going to move in.

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I don't think we even knew we were going to

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move in, but we were visi in every weekend to

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I guess for them to get to know us and

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us to get to know them and to see whether

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or not they wanted to. You know, it was a process.

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It wasn't just like here's your kids who haven't seen

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them for five years, take them. It was there was

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a process to it. And even then, this was like

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nineteen seventy seven. So we'd go every weekend, and then

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one weekend our auntie picked us up and she said, oh,

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you're going to come and stare with me in London

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because the step mum's unwell, she's got I don't know

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measles or mumps or something like that. I said, what

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you're talking about Willis, which is weird because I've never

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seen different strokes at that point, because it hadn't been on,

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didn't come on to about seventy nine. I'm wondering maybe

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they copied me, because I used to say that all

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the time. We were talking about Williss, even when I

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was like five. I could be owed some money royalties

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And she said, my name is not Willis, called me Auntie.

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I said, I don't know if i've readly known you

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long enough to call your auntie, how do I know

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you're really my auntie? You know? You you just turn

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up out of the blue, I've met you a couple

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of times, submittedly, because you know, because there was that

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whole thing, you know, when we went around it was

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like I felt like I was in a zoo. When

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we went to visit my dad, Will he come and

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picked us up, took us back to where he lived

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with his wife and his wife's mum. They lived in

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her house, and all these people came along, like his

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uncles and aunts and people I've never seen before. Like

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00:18:04.759 --> 00:18:11.039
I'm your uncle. Really, I'm your uncle as well. Really

233
00:18:12.799 --> 00:18:19.160
I'm your auntie really, like you know, it's like I'm

234
00:18:19.200 --> 00:18:23.799
your uncle. Oh okay, and I'm also your auntie. Really

235
00:18:25.119 --> 00:18:30.400
I'm your cousin. Huh. So like like ten cousins, five

236
00:18:30.480 --> 00:18:35.559
uncles and aunt's ten cousins, nanny and granddad and another nanny.

237
00:18:36.000 --> 00:18:43.000
Like sit away too many people. So I didn't remember her.

238
00:18:44.079 --> 00:18:47.880
But that weekend was one of the best weekends ever.

239
00:18:48.920 --> 00:18:53.240
So she picked us up, took us to London. London's

240
00:18:53.279 --> 00:18:56.799
not far from the South End. It seemed a long

241
00:18:56.839 --> 00:18:59.720
way when you're a little kid to be. I don't

242
00:18:59.720 --> 00:19:01.480
even know if we was in a car, she might

243
00:19:01.599 --> 00:19:04.119
just we might have gone on a train, because there

244
00:19:04.160 --> 00:19:08.480
was a train directly to Liverpool Street from South End Victoria.

245
00:19:10.759 --> 00:19:15.680
I made the journey many times as an adult. Yeah,

246
00:19:15.720 --> 00:19:21.119
I used to used to visit South End. South End

247
00:19:21.240 --> 00:19:23.000
used to be a place that I would go to

248
00:19:24.279 --> 00:19:29.200
when I fenceed a day out, like a kind of

249
00:19:30.920 --> 00:19:37.599
I think I took. Yeah, I took two different girlfriends

250
00:19:37.599 --> 00:19:40.960
there or too. I went on two different dates, maybe

251
00:19:41.039 --> 00:19:44.680
more to South End when I was living in London,

252
00:19:45.599 --> 00:19:48.319
and just like, let's go for a walk. Let's let's

253
00:19:48.319 --> 00:19:51.599
go for a walk. Let's go to South End, get

254
00:19:51.640 --> 00:19:54.079
on a train. It's like forty five minutes or whatever

255
00:19:54.160 --> 00:19:58.000
on a train, maybe an hour, I don't know, and

256
00:19:58.200 --> 00:20:02.000
then would be there South End Beach, have a nice

257
00:20:02.039 --> 00:20:05.119
walk and go on to the pier. That's a that's

258
00:20:05.160 --> 00:20:07.839
a journey in itself, just to walk along the pier.

259
00:20:09.240 --> 00:20:14.440
Candy floss, fish and chips. Maybe not candy flop, I

260
00:20:14.519 --> 00:20:22.920
suppose I did have candy floss, ice creams. Just what

261
00:20:23.039 --> 00:20:26.880
anything you want really is, just like anywhere else. And

262
00:20:27.240 --> 00:20:30.599
it was a nice day out. It wasn't far away,

263
00:20:31.799 --> 00:20:36.640
but it was totally different from being in London, you know,

264
00:20:36.799 --> 00:20:39.799
being near the sea. I mean South End is not

265
00:20:39.880 --> 00:20:45.440
the nearest sea. If you're in London. I think there's

266
00:20:45.599 --> 00:20:49.400
closer sea. I think Harriage is closer. I'm not sure,

267
00:20:50.039 --> 00:20:53.680
but you've got bill Ricky. I don't know if that's

268
00:20:54.039 --> 00:20:56.240
the Isle of Dogs. I suppose there's a sea there.

269
00:20:56.400 --> 00:21:02.640
Maybe I wonder whether as a sea. I mean you've

270
00:21:02.680 --> 00:21:10.680
got the Thames which leads to the sea h M

271
00:21:18.839 --> 00:21:23.000
from the Yeah, I don't know. So, yeah, the South End,

272
00:21:23.000 --> 00:21:28.319
that's where I used to go. But to this day

273
00:21:28.319 --> 00:21:33.759
in London, it was lovely, lovely, lovely, she remembered. Went

274
00:21:33.839 --> 00:21:41.960
to South End with a Spanish female that I met

275
00:21:43.039 --> 00:21:51.000
was Ith Strafford Strafford train station. I saw her and

276
00:21:51.039 --> 00:21:54.400
I thought I'd like to talk to her, so I

277
00:21:54.440 --> 00:21:56.960
went up to her. I just say, excuse me, sorry,

278
00:21:57.519 --> 00:22:01.960
could you tell me? He did tell me, and I

279
00:22:01.960 --> 00:22:03.519
asked you a question that I knew the answer to

280
00:22:06.400 --> 00:22:08.359
because I just wanted to talk to her, and I

281
00:22:08.480 --> 00:22:12.000
ended up she gave me a telephone number, a name,

282
00:22:12.079 --> 00:22:14.079
and her address. She wrote it down on the pieces

283
00:22:14.079 --> 00:22:17.599
of paper or did you have it already written down?

284
00:22:19.559 --> 00:22:24.240
Was it just randomly giving it out to men? Possibly? Anyway,

285
00:22:24.480 --> 00:22:26.720
So we went out. We talked on the phone a

286
00:22:26.720 --> 00:22:32.440
few days in a row. And then I kind of

287
00:22:32.440 --> 00:22:34.640
fell for her really she was just I just like

288
00:22:34.720 --> 00:22:38.400
really liked her a lot. And we went out to

289
00:22:40.519 --> 00:22:45.039
South End for the day and there was a couple

290
00:22:45.079 --> 00:22:47.680
of Because you know when you're when you were abroad,

291
00:22:48.400 --> 00:22:52.079
you can hear your own language being spoken knya, Like

292
00:22:52.720 --> 00:22:55.880
it's just one of those things. I remember when I

293
00:22:55.920 --> 00:23:01.319
was in Belgium. There was we were walking down the

294
00:23:01.519 --> 00:23:05.640
street in Belgium and I was with like three or

295
00:23:05.680 --> 00:23:08.440
four people from work. This is when I was about eighteen,

296
00:23:10.279 --> 00:23:14.960
and we were walking down this busy road and suddenly

297
00:23:15.000 --> 00:23:21.640
one of my work colleagues shouted out English, you're English.

298
00:23:23.640 --> 00:23:26.519
Over this crowd and the other there was another little

299
00:23:26.640 --> 00:23:32.559
group of men and English. Your English got so excited

300
00:23:32.880 --> 00:23:39.079
to meet another English but speaking person. I mean we'd

301
00:23:39.160 --> 00:23:42.720
only been there for about ten minutes. How much can

302
00:23:42.759 --> 00:23:45.880
you miss the fact that it was with four other

303
00:23:45.920 --> 00:23:50.359
people that also spoke English. Why would he miss being

304
00:23:50.400 --> 00:23:57.039
around English speaking people so much? I didn't understand it.

305
00:23:58.319 --> 00:24:00.759
I think couldn't really get it. But it was because

306
00:24:00.759 --> 00:24:04.400
they were jumping up and down, hugging each other. It

307
00:24:04.519 --> 00:24:09.839
was very erotic, it was. It was kind of strange.

308
00:24:12.440 --> 00:24:17.720
So anyway, I was Yeah, we were walking me in

309
00:24:17.759 --> 00:24:25.519
this what was her name, Martyr Moditor, Moditor. We're walking

310
00:24:25.640 --> 00:24:34.799
down the Yeah, we walked on the pier and suddenly

311
00:24:35.279 --> 00:24:42.799
she noticed a couple of Spanish men and they noticed

312
00:24:42.880 --> 00:24:49.039
her and they started talking in I couldn't really understand

313
00:24:49.039 --> 00:24:50.839
what they were saying in some kind of language, different

314
00:24:50.880 --> 00:24:57.759
language to English. And even though it's in different language,

315
00:24:59.039 --> 00:25:01.839
I can I could. I knew what they were saying.

316
00:25:02.880 --> 00:25:06.640
It was weird. And I asked her and she told me,

317
00:25:06.799 --> 00:25:11.519
she said, yeah, I was right, So what I could

318
00:25:11.559 --> 00:25:15.319
see and it was, you know, they were not speaking English.

319
00:25:15.519 --> 00:25:20.720
They were basically mocking me. And they said I was

320
00:25:20.720 --> 00:25:29.119
like your boyfriend, and she said no, but it wasn't that. No, no,

321
00:25:29.440 --> 00:25:32.200
like that. Yeah, bearing in mind that we kind of

322
00:25:32.240 --> 00:25:39.359
were dating ish kind of, and I knew, even in

323
00:25:39.400 --> 00:25:45.119
another language, it's the same energy, it's the same looks,

324
00:25:45.240 --> 00:25:49.599
it's the same it was the same tone of voice,

325
00:25:51.640 --> 00:26:02.160
and yeah, it was a bit awkward after that. Yeah.

326
00:26:02.359 --> 00:26:04.039
I've don't know if that was before or after I

327
00:26:04.160 --> 00:26:08.160
visited her at her home, because she invited me around. Yeah,

328
00:26:08.160 --> 00:26:10.519
I think it was it was before she vibd me

329
00:26:10.559 --> 00:26:15.119
around to her place because she was a nanny or

330
00:26:15.759 --> 00:26:20.359
her all pair air pair she had. She was an

331
00:26:20.359 --> 00:26:27.960
no pair and she was nineteen. I was what twenty three?

332
00:26:28.440 --> 00:26:32.200
And she had dark where she was Spanish and so

333
00:26:32.319 --> 00:26:36.759
she had dark hair and brown eyes. But I'm guessing

334
00:26:37.960 --> 00:26:40.680
the majority of people in Spain have probably got dark

335
00:26:40.720 --> 00:26:44.319
hair and brown eyes, because that's the Spanish look, isn't it.

336
00:26:46.200 --> 00:26:47.680
Did you know that most people in the world have

337
00:26:47.720 --> 00:26:53.599
got brown eyes. Blue eyes is an anomaly? Did you

338
00:26:53.640 --> 00:26:57.359
know that? I just thought that blue eyes because I

339
00:26:57.359 --> 00:27:00.920
got blue eyes. I just thought it's just most people

340
00:27:00.920 --> 00:27:05.039
would have blue eyes, but they haven't. Apparently, apparently not

341
00:27:05.160 --> 00:27:14.880
everyone looks like me. I don't understand. So she's yeah,

342
00:27:14.960 --> 00:27:18.960
I really liked her. I really fancied her. But I

343
00:27:19.000 --> 00:27:21.000
really liked her. I did get on really I got

344
00:27:21.039 --> 00:27:23.839
on well with her on the phone, even though there

345
00:27:23.960 --> 00:27:30.799
was communication in English was really good, but my Spanish

346
00:27:30.960 --> 00:27:41.960
was zero. She taught me a few words see signor

347
00:27:46.000 --> 00:28:00.440
a cappella. I think that's Spanish, isn't it? Was it? Yeah? Yeah, Elle?

348
00:28:00.519 --> 00:28:03.160
If you say L before you any sentence, I think

349
00:28:03.200 --> 00:28:11.720
that helps L Hello, no, not l honcho? No hello?

350
00:28:11.920 --> 00:28:20.880
What's the oh? I know the word for hello in Spain. Hello, Hello,

351
00:28:26.920 --> 00:28:35.400
Hello Madora. Heck, I don't know. I've never been great

352
00:28:35.440 --> 00:28:39.480
with languages. I did I needed. I learned a few

353
00:28:39.519 --> 00:28:49.079
words in Thai. I learned a few words in Bulgaria,

354
00:28:50.039 --> 00:28:55.359
but that was just because I was talking to females

355
00:28:56.319 --> 00:29:00.000
at the time that I wanted to. I guess community

356
00:29:00.759 --> 00:29:05.519
I found at very early age. Probably it was probably

357
00:29:05.559 --> 00:29:12.160
with the Spanish lady that sometimes having a different language

358
00:29:13.079 --> 00:29:22.440
can be useful for communication or useful for like the

359
00:29:22.440 --> 00:29:27.160
beginning of a relationship, because learning each other's words. And

360
00:29:28.240 --> 00:29:30.839
I also figured out, after years and years and years,

361
00:29:30.880 --> 00:29:33.119
the reason I got on so well with foreign women

362
00:29:33.359 --> 00:29:35.920
is because it took them longer to realize what I

363
00:29:35.960 --> 00:29:41.400
was really like. They thought I was nice for much

364
00:29:41.480 --> 00:29:43.920
longer than people that had met me that knew what

365
00:29:44.000 --> 00:29:46.680
I was saying. Once I realized what I was saying,

366
00:29:46.759 --> 00:29:53.200
they didn't necessarily like me so much. I'm joking kind of.

367
00:29:56.680 --> 00:30:01.200
I did upset someone in Thailand, a waitress, didn't mean to,

368
00:30:01.599 --> 00:30:07.319
genuinely did not mean to. It turned out I was

369
00:30:07.359 --> 00:30:12.559
trying to communicate with her, well, she was trying to

370
00:30:12.559 --> 00:30:19.200
communicate with me, and I was getting it wrong. So

371
00:30:19.920 --> 00:30:25.039
there was all these posters around for this, like some

372
00:30:25.119 --> 00:30:32.240
kind of swim where a bikini beauty contest, a bikini pageant.

373
00:30:34.599 --> 00:30:36.359
There was posters all over this place. It was just

374
00:30:36.400 --> 00:30:42.799
a bar. It was like a normal bar restaurant, so Hooters,

375
00:30:42.799 --> 00:30:44.920
but it was still you know, they have food and

376
00:30:44.960 --> 00:30:49.960
stuff and I like it. I've never been I've never

377
00:30:50.000 --> 00:30:52.960
been into I like American bars, and that was just

378
00:30:53.039 --> 00:31:00.720
like an opportunity to go there every day. And there

379
00:31:00.759 --> 00:31:05.079
wasn't anything weird. It's just a normal you know. It

380
00:31:05.160 --> 00:31:07.720
was a family place. You could take your kids and stuff.

381
00:31:08.519 --> 00:31:12.480
I didn't have any kids to take, but if I had,

382
00:31:12.599 --> 00:31:16.480
I wouldn't wouldn't. Yeah, I mean, it's not holiday, is

383
00:31:16.519 --> 00:31:20.880
it if you've got kids with you? How is that

384
00:31:21.000 --> 00:31:25.200
a holiday? A holiday is when the kids are the

385
00:31:25.240 --> 00:31:28.559
other side of the world. Surely maybe not. Maybe I

386
00:31:28.640 --> 00:31:34.079
got it wrong. I used to know someone that said,

387
00:31:34.759 --> 00:31:38.319
if the idea of that, it's not a decent holiday,

388
00:31:38.759 --> 00:31:41.839
if it's not a proper holiday, if when you get home,

389
00:31:44.920 --> 00:31:49.200
it's only a proper holiday if you get home and

390
00:31:49.240 --> 00:31:52.680
you need a holiday. So if you completely exhaust yourself,

391
00:31:53.480 --> 00:31:56.200
then it's a proper holiday. You've had. It's like, no,

392
00:31:57.039 --> 00:32:01.640
that's the opposite to what I'm thinking of. Yeah, because

393
00:32:01.640 --> 00:32:10.079
you like to go skiing and windsurfing and probably mounting

394
00:32:10.240 --> 00:32:17.480
climbing and pothole in and deep sea dive in, swimming

395
00:32:17.559 --> 00:32:26.759
with sharks, you know, all the things that I wouldn't

396
00:32:26.759 --> 00:32:29.960
want to do. And it's got nothing to do with

397
00:32:30.279 --> 00:32:32.079
lack of fitness, because you know, I'm not as fit

398
00:32:32.079 --> 00:32:37.119
as I used to be. It's I don't think. I

399
00:32:37.160 --> 00:32:42.200
think my mounting mountain climbing days are possibly behind me,

400
00:32:44.400 --> 00:32:47.480
but they were never in front of me either. I've

401
00:32:47.519 --> 00:32:50.039
never wanted to jump out of a plane. I've never

402
00:32:50.119 --> 00:32:53.640
wanted to go down a pothole and start Not a pothole,

403
00:32:53.759 --> 00:32:57.079
is it potholding. I didn't want to go down like

404
00:32:57.519 --> 00:33:00.960
find a crack in the earth and let's see where

405
00:33:00.960 --> 00:33:07.200
this leads. No, No, it's like, no, that's just I'm

406
00:33:07.200 --> 00:33:12.839
not not not interested in that. You know, Oh, let's

407
00:33:12.839 --> 00:33:18.720
go down to the bottom of the ocean. No, No, never,

408
00:33:18.759 --> 00:33:23.279
I never wanted to do that. That's that's a that's

409
00:33:23.319 --> 00:33:26.920
a deal breaker. I used to be in love with

410
00:33:26.960 --> 00:33:35.200
this this female that really really really liked her a lot.

411
00:33:35.799 --> 00:33:38.039
She didn't really know I existed, but she I really

412
00:33:38.160 --> 00:33:42.240
liked her, and I got talking to her. I finally

413
00:33:42.359 --> 00:33:45.039
got managed to build up the courage to say alone.

414
00:33:45.079 --> 00:33:49.000
And this is when I was a prison guard in

415
00:33:49.039 --> 00:33:53.720
a women's prison. So eventually, you know, no, this is

416
00:33:53.759 --> 00:33:57.839
so I don't know. I got talking. I think it

417
00:33:57.920 --> 00:34:01.000
was like, what you're doing? You're right? She said, Oh,

418
00:34:01.200 --> 00:34:02.880
I think I said see you next week, old woman,

419
00:34:02.920 --> 00:34:07.880
holiday next week? Okay. Normally, if someone told me they're

420
00:34:07.880 --> 00:34:10.920
on holiday next week, I ah, like, why are you

421
00:34:10.960 --> 00:34:15.400
telling me? What use is that information? How am I

422
00:34:15.440 --> 00:34:17.880
gonna How is that going to benefit me knowing you're

423
00:34:17.880 --> 00:34:21.159
on holiday next week? Which could be a bit attitudinal.

424
00:34:21.400 --> 00:34:23.960
I've gotta work on that. Maybe when I was younger,

425
00:34:24.039 --> 00:34:26.320
that is, you know, that's when I was like five

426
00:34:26.400 --> 00:34:30.599
or six, stinking thinking I did when I was five

427
00:34:30.679 --> 00:34:40.480
or six, just like, yeah, Christmas, look Jason, look where

428
00:34:40.480 --> 00:34:44.960
your brother's bought me for Christmas. It's a it's uh

429
00:34:45.239 --> 00:34:48.239
like I never heard the end of the rest of

430
00:34:48.239 --> 00:34:51.159
it because I switched off. It's like, why do I

431
00:34:51.239 --> 00:34:55.719
care what is brought for you for Christmas? I don't

432
00:34:55.719 --> 00:34:57.599
even care what I bought you. I don't care about

433
00:34:57.639 --> 00:34:59.840
what I bought you for Christmas. I'm only interesting what

434
00:34:59.840 --> 00:35:05.320
I get for Christmas. Christmas is about receiving, not giving,

435
00:35:07.159 --> 00:35:12.280
and any kid that says the opposite is lying. It's

436
00:35:12.280 --> 00:35:18.239
about receiving presents. How many kids do you think go

437
00:35:18.320 --> 00:35:22.599
to sleep Christmas Eve and they can't get like mom,

438
00:35:22.800 --> 00:35:25.119
I can't get to sleep, I can't get to sleep,

439
00:35:25.159 --> 00:35:28.519
and their parents going, what is it? Little JJ, I

440
00:35:28.519 --> 00:35:31.719
can't get to sleep? Daddy and mama, Dad and mama?

441
00:35:32.320 --> 00:35:35.000
Why is it? Why can't you get to sleep? Is

442
00:35:35.039 --> 00:35:37.599
it because Father Christmas? And yeah? Is it because of

443
00:35:37.679 --> 00:35:38.880
Christmas morning tomorrow?

444
00:35:39.239 --> 00:35:39.480
Yeah?

445
00:35:40.320 --> 00:35:42.719
He said, Well, what is it that's keeping you awake?

446
00:35:43.199 --> 00:35:46.760
He said, I just can't. I can't. I can't sleep

447
00:35:46.760 --> 00:35:50.800
because I'm so worried and excited about whether or not

448
00:35:50.840 --> 00:35:56.079
you'll like the presence I bought you for Christmas. That

449
00:35:56.239 --> 00:36:01.199
conversation has never happened, not once. I guarantee you that.

450
00:36:02.320 --> 00:36:04.440
But I'm just, I'm just I just want you to

451
00:36:04.480 --> 00:36:10.159
be happy, like any kid cares. What they want is

452
00:36:10.199 --> 00:36:12.679
to be happy. Oh my right my big tom or

453
00:36:12.760 --> 00:36:16.440
right foot just seesed up. Thankfully, I don't need to

454
00:36:16.519 --> 00:36:20.280
use it very often, so it's okay. Oh that was weird.

455
00:36:20.800 --> 00:36:27.159
I stretched it doesn't normally get any stretching. I'm only joking,

456
00:36:27.159 --> 00:36:31.400
by the way, when they'd say things, it wasn't really

457
00:36:31.480 --> 00:36:38.639
it did really like get stiff. I got one of

458
00:36:38.639 --> 00:36:44.039
my legs seizes up sometimes the calf muscle, and it

459
00:36:44.239 --> 00:36:47.119
changes my mood. I remem it was on a date

460
00:36:47.199 --> 00:36:51.000
with someone and I was in here and it was

461
00:36:51.039 --> 00:36:55.440
going quite well. Well, she hadn't left, so I always

462
00:36:55.480 --> 00:37:03.280
take that as a positive sign. And I've been sitting down.

463
00:37:03.320 --> 00:37:05.639
So I just stood up and stretched my legs. I

464
00:37:05.719 --> 00:37:08.000
just I don't know, you know, we kind of probably

465
00:37:08.320 --> 00:37:13.800
got onto my toes and my left calf cramped up,

466
00:37:15.840 --> 00:37:20.199
and she was like, are you okay? Like caffrey. I

467
00:37:20.239 --> 00:37:25.119
wasn't quite that bad, but it was like, oh, that

468
00:37:25.519 --> 00:37:30.119
was not pleasant. She said, draw into message and said no,

469
00:37:31.719 --> 00:37:34.760
and she did. I said, oh, okay, so that helped.

470
00:37:35.840 --> 00:37:39.239
She says that better. I said yeah, and I said

471
00:37:39.239 --> 00:37:42.360
I've got to go and get something like, ohh, I've

472
00:37:42.360 --> 00:37:46.199
cramped up again. What your calf are going? No, it's

473
00:37:46.239 --> 00:37:55.119
mick grhyin. No, I made that up. So the pigeons,

474
00:37:55.760 --> 00:37:58.000
I just like the pigeons. What's this got to do

475
00:37:58.039 --> 00:38:06.119
with biscuits? I've got to talk biscuits. But I can't

476
00:38:06.280 --> 00:38:11.239
even remember where I was going with that. I don't

477
00:38:11.280 --> 00:38:18.360
know if I was going anywhere, really, but I remember her.

478
00:38:18.440 --> 00:38:27.480
She was nice. I was what ninety four time. She

479
00:38:27.639 --> 00:38:34.039
was so lovely. I forgot I had a girlfriend. No,

480
00:38:34.760 --> 00:38:46.360
I didn't forget, so I I yeah, biscuits. These biscuits

481
00:38:46.360 --> 00:38:49.159
at my nan head. They were lovely and I'd have

482
00:38:49.239 --> 00:38:52.440
them every single time I visited her. I can't remember

483
00:38:52.440 --> 00:38:55.199
the name of them, but they're really nice. They're nice

484
00:38:55.239 --> 00:38:59.440
with or without tea. I mean, you can dip them

485
00:39:00.519 --> 00:39:06.360
or not dip them. Never double dip. One dips enough

486
00:39:07.840 --> 00:39:14.159
otherwise it would break. And I don't know what it

487
00:39:14.199 --> 00:39:17.920
is once once a biscuit's broken into the tea, I

488
00:39:17.960 --> 00:39:22.039
mean some some do float on the top, but some don't.

489
00:39:22.119 --> 00:39:25.920
Some will just sink down to the bottom. And it's

490
00:39:25.920 --> 00:39:31.480
almost I feel like the tea is contaminated. I don't

491
00:39:31.480 --> 00:39:37.440
want to drink the tea anymore unless I get spoon

492
00:39:37.480 --> 00:39:41.119
and I get the biscuit out. But the weird thing

493
00:39:41.119 --> 00:39:43.519
about it, even though I feel like the tea is contaminated,

494
00:39:43.800 --> 00:39:45.880
I don't want to drink the tea when you get

495
00:39:45.880 --> 00:39:48.119
the biscuit out of spoon. I want to eat the biscuit.

496
00:39:48.920 --> 00:39:52.760
It's weird, isn't it. It's like I don't want to

497
00:39:52.840 --> 00:39:56.480
drink that water from that from that river because it's

498
00:39:57.039 --> 00:39:59.760
waste at the bottom, and then getting the waste out

499
00:39:59.760 --> 00:40:09.159
and just munching on it, like no, weird, weird. Other biscuits.

500
00:40:09.360 --> 00:40:14.559
I think my favorite biscuits are probably plain old digestives

501
00:40:15.920 --> 00:40:25.840
Mcvitti's digestives and I like rich tea as well. They're

502
00:40:25.880 --> 00:40:29.239
the two best biscuits for dipping into tea. I think,

503
00:40:30.440 --> 00:40:37.239
in my opinion, the thing is you've got to really,

504
00:40:37.599 --> 00:40:40.079
I mean, that's why we're trained in I don't know.

505
00:40:40.199 --> 00:40:42.000
If you're not in England, you might not know this,

506
00:40:42.119 --> 00:40:46.519
but in England we actually have classes at school for

507
00:40:47.119 --> 00:40:52.320
biscuit dipping. And it's called biscuit dipping. That's just the class.

508
00:40:52.360 --> 00:40:56.119
It's called biscuit dipping. What you're doing where you've got

509
00:40:56.119 --> 00:41:00.880
to go? I've got maths? Oh where you biscuit? Okay,

510
00:41:01.239 --> 00:41:04.800
just give you an example. And you might think you

511
00:41:04.880 --> 00:41:06.079
might be in a country and so what do you

512
00:41:06.079 --> 00:41:10.119
mean maths? Don't you need math? No maths, that's the

513
00:41:10.159 --> 00:41:17.639
correct way. It's not mathematic. It's mathematics. Maths is short

514
00:41:17.639 --> 00:41:24.719
for mathematics, not mathematic. There's no such thing as mathematic

515
00:41:24.880 --> 00:41:29.119
it's mathematics. I'm just you know, it's all about helping,

516
00:41:29.199 --> 00:41:36.679
isn't it. And so we have these classes at school.

517
00:41:36.800 --> 00:41:40.719
It's in every year right away from like infant school

518
00:41:40.800 --> 00:41:43.760
all the way up to high school. By the time

519
00:41:43.800 --> 00:41:46.559
you get to leave school at like sixteen maybe eighteen,

520
00:41:46.559 --> 00:41:50.280
depending on when you leave, you almost become a master

521
00:41:51.800 --> 00:41:55.639
of biscuit dipping. It's not just tea. You have to

522
00:41:55.719 --> 00:41:59.599
learn coffee. The problem of coffee is it tends to

523
00:41:59.639 --> 00:42:04.199
hold the heat a little bit longer unless you put

524
00:42:04.239 --> 00:42:08.360
lots of milk in. Tea tends to calm down. We

525
00:42:08.480 --> 00:42:12.000
become experts on tea and coffee as well, the temperatures,

526
00:42:12.519 --> 00:42:16.840
how to make a cup of tea. See, the problem is, though,

527
00:42:18.440 --> 00:42:21.320
there's a little bit. It's become a little bit like

528
00:42:21.320 --> 00:42:27.920
a religion tea making in this country. So you know,

529
00:42:27.960 --> 00:42:33.719
you've got kind of the Catholics, the Protestants, the different

530
00:42:33.800 --> 00:42:38.639
Anglo Anglican churches and different kinds of Christianity ish stuff.

531
00:42:39.599 --> 00:42:44.639
It's a little bit like that with tea making. So

532
00:42:44.679 --> 00:42:50.880
there's people that put the milk in before the water,

533
00:42:52.400 --> 00:42:57.119
before the hot water, and those people put the milk

534
00:42:57.159 --> 00:43:00.960
in after the hot water. So it's very much a

535
00:43:01.000 --> 00:43:04.639
controversial thing. Once the year, people have go on rallies,

536
00:43:04.719 --> 00:43:08.599
so they they all dress up as biscuits. It's just very,

537
00:43:08.760 --> 00:43:15.760
very very strange, and for some reason they decided to

538
00:43:15.800 --> 00:43:19.320
take the rich tea and digestive. They're kind of taking

539
00:43:19.360 --> 00:43:25.760
those two even though it's not really about biscuits, not really,

540
00:43:27.199 --> 00:43:30.519
but you know, they've kind of taken on because milk

541
00:43:30.639 --> 00:43:34.360
they have the white like the the what's it called

542
00:43:34.480 --> 00:43:38.400
the rich tea because they're kind of much paler than

543
00:43:38.440 --> 00:43:43.159
a digestive biscuit. So they're the ones that like the

544
00:43:43.239 --> 00:43:47.840
milk in first. Digestives are now classes the ones that

545
00:43:48.000 --> 00:43:51.880
like the milk in afterwards. So I'm a digestive because

546
00:43:52.679 --> 00:43:55.960
you know, you put the water in for me. They

547
00:43:55.960 --> 00:43:58.800
put the water in with a tea bag and then

548
00:43:58.960 --> 00:44:06.960
add the milk. So it's just some people do you

549
00:44:07.000 --> 00:44:09.480
know something like you can't put the milk in first

550
00:44:09.480 --> 00:44:12.920
because the hot water Scotch is the milk. I've never

551
00:44:13.000 --> 00:44:17.519
heard milk scream once, Oh stop stop it. It's never,

552
00:44:19.079 --> 00:44:21.039
so I don't know where they come up with that stuff.

553
00:44:22.840 --> 00:44:25.639
I don't even know would people even notice if you

554
00:44:25.679 --> 00:44:28.639
did a blind test and you gave someone a cup

555
00:44:28.679 --> 00:44:32.079
of tea, because I've made cups of two people and

556
00:44:32.119 --> 00:44:35.000
I've never once had them say, wait a minute, did

557
00:44:35.079 --> 00:44:41.920
you put the milk in first or the opposite? You know, Plus,

558
00:44:42.000 --> 00:44:45.519
I like to do whatever they I like to do

559
00:44:45.559 --> 00:44:47.679
the opposite to what people say. When I was younger,

560
00:44:47.679 --> 00:44:52.480
not now, but when I was younger, so someone said, oh,

561
00:44:52.920 --> 00:44:55.159
make sure you put the milk in before the tea

562
00:44:55.199 --> 00:44:57.760
bag and the hot water. I would do the opposite,

563
00:44:57.800 --> 00:45:03.440
and they never knew they could tell the difference, so

564
00:45:03.559 --> 00:45:07.039
I just there was one time, though I did it,

565
00:45:07.599 --> 00:45:09.840
I gave them the wrong cup, so I ended up

566
00:45:09.840 --> 00:45:11.920
with the one with the milk in before the tea bag.

567
00:45:12.039 --> 00:45:17.760
It was disgusting. I was so angry, and I didn't

568
00:45:17.800 --> 00:45:22.679
know at the time, but once I realized it tasted

569
00:45:22.679 --> 00:45:25.239
the same at the time, but once I realized it

570
00:45:25.280 --> 00:45:31.800
tasted horrible, it was a week later. But dear Jason,

571
00:45:33.960 --> 00:45:40.559
these are boring mondays. I used to like them because

572
00:45:40.599 --> 00:45:43.800
you'd focus on a subject, but you seemed to have

573
00:45:43.840 --> 00:45:47.760
lost your way a little bit. The reason one where

574
00:45:47.800 --> 00:45:55.840
you talked about biscuits and scorched milk and a Spanish

575
00:45:55.920 --> 00:46:07.440
girlfriend and teammaking classes. Biscuit dipp in. It's just just

576
00:46:07.639 --> 00:46:12.880
goth gone in a weird direction. Please can you talk

577
00:46:12.920 --> 00:46:23.559
about tires next week? It's okay, I don't know. I'm

578
00:46:23.559 --> 00:46:30.920
still not an expert, though a biscuit dipping occasionally if

579
00:46:30.960 --> 00:46:41.159
I'm distracted. Okay, So let's remember there was, Yeah, I

580
00:46:41.159 --> 00:46:45.039
had this part time job. No I was. I was

581
00:46:45.039 --> 00:46:51.199
in a bank and I was I think I was

582
00:46:51.239 --> 00:46:53.199
trying to get a loan or something, and they gave

583
00:46:53.239 --> 00:46:56.280
me a cup of tea and at biscuit I couldn't

584
00:46:56.280 --> 00:46:59.280
believe it's this is good. So I'm there at one

585
00:46:59.280 --> 00:47:03.440
of those tables opposite the bank. Wasn't the bank manager,

586
00:47:03.480 --> 00:47:05.480
but someone that worked in the bank, and then there

587
00:47:05.519 --> 00:47:07.480
was the big counter over the other side, and there's

588
00:47:07.519 --> 00:47:10.920
a few other tables dotted around. So I'm just having

589
00:47:10.920 --> 00:47:16.719
a cup of tea and the bank gets robbed. So

590
00:47:16.800 --> 00:47:22.159
these bank robbers come in and shouted and stuff. So

591
00:47:22.480 --> 00:47:26.320
that distracted me because I was trying to dip my

592
00:47:26.480 --> 00:47:29.679
biscuit in, but I left it in too far, too

593
00:47:29.679 --> 00:47:37.519
too long, and it broke. Now that nearly ruined my day.

594
00:47:38.400 --> 00:47:42.960
And all I remember is them, Shannon, get down on

595
00:47:43.000 --> 00:47:45.519
the floor, Get down on the floor, don't look at us,

596
00:47:45.559 --> 00:47:52.239
don't stop stop dunking your biscuit and your tea. I

597
00:47:52.320 --> 00:47:58.360
was like, what else am I supposed to do? Because

598
00:47:58.480 --> 00:48:03.920
as an english person, there's there's a saying in England

599
00:48:05.079 --> 00:48:11.440
once you start dipping that that's it. So once you

600
00:48:11.559 --> 00:48:16.519
start to dip a biscuit in your tea, that's what

601
00:48:16.559 --> 00:48:21.800
you're going to do. Because the whole process starts with

602
00:48:22.519 --> 00:48:27.199
the thought of dipping the biscuit in the cup of tea.

603
00:48:28.679 --> 00:48:31.480
It's not just like we don't do it any old now,

604
00:48:33.360 --> 00:48:36.280
you know, especially if you've been trained from the age

605
00:48:36.320 --> 00:48:39.800
of two how to dip biscuits in tea, because you've

606
00:48:39.800 --> 00:48:44.559
been trained at school like we are. And by the way,

607
00:48:44.599 --> 00:48:47.320
if you ever get into if you ever want if

608
00:48:47.320 --> 00:48:49.280
you're in another country and you want to, you know,

609
00:48:50.119 --> 00:48:54.840
show off your knowledge of other countries, this is something

610
00:48:54.880 --> 00:49:01.679
you could tell people. They'll be they'll be fascinated and impressed.

611
00:49:01.719 --> 00:49:06.559
Probably in fact, they may if it's a crowd of people,

612
00:49:06.559 --> 00:49:09.519
that may actually lift you above their shoulders and parade

613
00:49:09.559 --> 00:49:15.840
you around the streets. Singing your name loudly. So it's possible.

614
00:49:16.920 --> 00:49:24.760
Anything's possible, I suppose. And once you have the idea,

615
00:49:24.960 --> 00:49:28.760
I'm going to I want to dip a biscuit in

616
00:49:28.840 --> 00:49:32.239
the tea. And it wasn't there to start with, but

617
00:49:32.559 --> 00:49:33.760
you know, I had the cup of tea and I

618
00:49:33.800 --> 00:49:39.039
thought I wish I had some biscuits. That's another thing.

619
00:49:39.119 --> 00:49:44.159
Normally English people carry around biscuits and we keep them

620
00:49:44.199 --> 00:49:47.880
in our socks before we say oh that's grim. No,

621
00:49:47.920 --> 00:49:53.199
they're in a packet. You know they're not. You know,

622
00:49:53.320 --> 00:49:56.639
it's not the whole big, massive, long packet of biscuits.

623
00:49:58.599 --> 00:50:02.400
These are smaller packets, so you might get maybe three

624
00:50:02.480 --> 00:50:07.360
biscuits or two biscuits maybe, so they fit inside the

625
00:50:07.440 --> 00:50:16.400
socks quite easily. And so generally every english person would

626
00:50:16.440 --> 00:50:19.559
have at least one packet of biscuits in their socks.

627
00:50:21.159 --> 00:50:22.960
Now depends how long you're going to be out for.

628
00:50:24.159 --> 00:50:27.360
If you just if you're just popping around a neighbor's house,

629
00:50:28.480 --> 00:50:34.679
then you just like one one packet of one packet

630
00:50:34.679 --> 00:50:41.519
of biscuits and your socks is normally enough. And it

631
00:50:41.599 --> 00:50:46.880
depends because generally if you go around a neighbor's house

632
00:50:47.920 --> 00:50:50.480
they The rule is in this country, if you visit

633
00:50:50.519 --> 00:50:53.960
a neighbor or friend or family, whoever it is, the

634
00:50:54.119 --> 00:50:58.519
visitor gets well, okay, the host, that say, the person

635
00:50:58.519 --> 00:51:04.000
who owns the place. The visitor gets given biscuits and

636
00:51:04.079 --> 00:51:08.639
gets to choose what biscuits they want. So this is

637
00:51:08.679 --> 00:51:11.199
an English thing. This is just this happens. Haven't here

638
00:51:11.239 --> 00:51:18.000
for centuries, I think, and so basically what happens. And

639
00:51:18.119 --> 00:51:21.000
just in case you didn't know this, in every English

640
00:51:21.039 --> 00:51:26.519
home there is if you go into the front door,

641
00:51:27.719 --> 00:51:33.360
every English home has a room full of biscuits, every

642
00:51:33.400 --> 00:51:38.559
single type of biscuits. And you could say, well, not

643
00:51:38.599 --> 00:51:42.760
all biscuits can be dunked. They can. That's a thing.

644
00:51:43.360 --> 00:51:48.039
If you're not trained like we are, you might struggle

645
00:51:48.440 --> 00:51:53.880
to dip a soggy biscuit into a tea. It might

646
00:51:53.920 --> 00:51:57.800
not work for you. But even something like a jaffa cake,

647
00:51:58.599 --> 00:52:02.599
there's an art to doing a jaffa cake and not

648
00:52:02.719 --> 00:52:08.559
leaving any chocolate in tea. Or you can do it

649
00:52:08.599 --> 00:52:10.920
where you just leave a little love heart on the

650
00:52:10.920 --> 00:52:16.320
top of the tee. See, there's so much art connected

651
00:52:16.360 --> 00:52:21.760
to this. It's hard to explain. I realized it's it

652
00:52:21.840 --> 00:52:24.440
might This might be new to you. You might not

653
00:52:24.519 --> 00:52:31.039
have known this about English people, but it's it's a

654
00:52:32.400 --> 00:52:34.639
I started to think about this, you know, because I

655
00:52:34.719 --> 00:52:37.800
might be the only English person you ever listened to

656
00:52:40.280 --> 00:52:44.480
as far as a podcast, or you may not know

657
00:52:44.519 --> 00:52:49.239
any English people and your English, your your knowledge of

658
00:52:49.280 --> 00:52:54.599
England might come from television or from movies. And of

659
00:52:54.599 --> 00:52:58.119
course some of that's true, you know, but things like

660
00:52:59.000 --> 00:53:04.280
downtown Abbeys that's not real, but it's real. But I

661
00:53:04.280 --> 00:53:06.320
mean there are people that used to live like that,

662
00:53:06.440 --> 00:53:10.760
but it's not the general thing. What I'm telling you

663
00:53:10.880 --> 00:53:16.679
is what everybody does. So it's it's worth knowing that

664
00:53:16.800 --> 00:53:22.599
before you come here, and you can you can you

665
00:53:22.639 --> 00:53:28.440
can sound very very knowledgeable when you tell people about

666
00:53:28.480 --> 00:53:33.280
this stuff, when you tell your friends and family, maybe

667
00:53:33.360 --> 00:53:39.960
over Christmas dinner, like did you know that in England

668
00:53:41.599 --> 00:53:46.840
every home has a room specifically for biscuits? See, they

669
00:53:46.880 --> 00:53:51.239
wouldn't know that until you told them. So I guess

670
00:53:51.559 --> 00:53:53.679
maybe I can tell you some other stuff about England

671
00:53:53.679 --> 00:53:56.199
at another time. This is just going to be the

672
00:53:56.639 --> 00:53:59.239
first I did a weird noise? Did you hear that?

673
00:53:59.719 --> 00:53:59.920
This is.

674
00:54:02.079 --> 00:54:11.199
So yeah? The little piggy in my throat so in

675
00:54:11.199 --> 00:54:14.440
the biscuit it's called the bikie room. Okay that I

676
00:54:14.480 --> 00:54:17.239
should tell you that we don't call them biscuits here.

677
00:54:17.280 --> 00:54:22.679
We call them bikies. It's genuine. It's like, it's just

678
00:54:22.760 --> 00:54:27.440
short for biscuits. Biki got time for copper, cup of

679
00:54:27.480 --> 00:54:30.480
teas coppa, got time for a cuppa and a bikie.

680
00:54:31.079 --> 00:54:33.920
So that's two different things. Have you got time for copper?

681
00:54:36.559 --> 00:54:42.320
Sometimes that just means well, you used to have a

682
00:54:42.440 --> 00:54:46.920
quick cup of tea, drink it and leave. But if

683
00:54:46.920 --> 00:54:49.719
someone says, I You've got time for a cuppa and

684
00:54:49.760 --> 00:54:54.519
a bikie, what that means is they like you and

685
00:54:54.599 --> 00:54:56.440
they'd like to spend more time with you and get

686
00:54:56.480 --> 00:55:00.320
to know you better. It's kind of like an English

687
00:55:00.440 --> 00:55:03.199
chat up date, ye a chat up lying in a way,

688
00:55:04.000 --> 00:55:12.880
but it's very subtle. So if you're it happens quite

689
00:55:13.039 --> 00:55:14.920
you know, if you literally someone says to you you

690
00:55:14.920 --> 00:55:18.599
would like her. If you're in a coffee place in

691
00:55:18.920 --> 00:55:23.079
the UK or in England and you order a coffee

692
00:55:23.599 --> 00:55:26.880
and they say, would you like some biscuits, that means

693
00:55:26.920 --> 00:55:31.440
one that they're in love with you. So it's worth

694
00:55:31.679 --> 00:55:36.000
just this is information worth knowing that they're basically you know,

695
00:55:36.079 --> 00:55:41.480
they love you, and that's it really is. I think

696
00:55:41.480 --> 00:55:46.880
it's quite handy to have this knowledge. But if someone

697
00:55:47.199 --> 00:55:51.679
invites you around, or you visit. By the way, if

698
00:55:51.679 --> 00:55:54.840
you visit, and if you if they don't invite you

699
00:55:56.360 --> 00:56:02.360
and you just visit, then you don't get to choose

700
00:56:02.400 --> 00:56:08.800
what biscuits you want. They get to choose, but if

701
00:56:08.840 --> 00:56:14.519
they invite you, you get to choose. In fact, you

702
00:56:14.639 --> 00:56:17.519
don't even get an opportunity to go into the biscuit

703
00:56:17.599 --> 00:56:20.679
room what we call it the bickie room. But you

704
00:56:20.719 --> 00:56:22.639
don't get a chance to go into the biscuit room

705
00:56:23.000 --> 00:56:27.800
because you've not been invited. You've just made up your

706
00:56:27.800 --> 00:56:30.199
mind to knock on their door and go in or

707
00:56:30.719 --> 00:56:36.440
wait till they answer the door. Of course, in that situation,

708
00:56:37.599 --> 00:56:40.840
they can give you the horriblest biscuits that they want.

709
00:56:41.679 --> 00:56:44.679
They still have to give you biscuits, it's the law,

710
00:56:46.360 --> 00:56:48.400
but they don't have to give you the nice ones

711
00:56:49.400 --> 00:56:54.320
they give you are because we have a thing here.

712
00:56:54.480 --> 00:57:01.840
This is going to shock you. Oh, this is this

713
00:57:01.920 --> 00:57:04.199
is It's going to be hard for me to say

714
00:57:04.199 --> 00:57:06.440
this out loud. I'm a little bit embarrassed by it.

715
00:57:06.519 --> 00:57:13.199
But Vin is having a dream. He's dreaming out about biscuits.

716
00:57:17.679 --> 00:57:20.880
So we have this thing in this country. We have supermarkets.

717
00:57:21.239 --> 00:57:25.159
That's not the shocking part. We have supermarkets and they

718
00:57:25.199 --> 00:57:28.840
sold biscuits. Again, that's not the shocking part. The shocking

719
00:57:28.880 --> 00:57:36.920
part is there are amongst the many, many types of

720
00:57:36.920 --> 00:57:43.880
biscuits a thing. I'm just saying this out loud again,

721
00:57:44.159 --> 00:57:46.559
this is quite a secret. We're not supposed to share this,

722
00:57:47.159 --> 00:57:49.360
but hey, I suppose I've just broken all the rules.

723
00:57:50.239 --> 00:57:55.920
We have a thing here called home brand. And so

724
00:57:56.039 --> 00:58:02.800
if it's here in Sainsbury's supermarket's home brand biscuits, and

725
00:58:02.840 --> 00:58:07.199
they're still call them the same, like digestives or rich tea,

726
00:58:07.400 --> 00:58:12.480
but they're not really digestives and they're not really rich tea.

727
00:58:12.760 --> 00:58:15.599
And some would argue people have no sense of taste,

728
00:58:16.039 --> 00:58:21.119
no taste. Buds will argue it tastes the same. It

729
00:58:21.159 --> 00:58:26.320
doesn't taste the same, just the same way Dominoes and

730
00:58:27.000 --> 00:58:33.000
Pizza Go Go do not taste the same. Pizza Hut

731
00:58:33.400 --> 00:58:36.639
and pitting Dominoes don't. It's different things. It just tastes

732
00:58:36.639 --> 00:58:39.159
different just because the word pizzas and it doesn't mean

733
00:58:39.159 --> 00:58:43.039
it's all going to taste the same. I've got on

734
00:58:43.079 --> 00:58:45.599
to talk about food. It makes me think it might

735
00:58:45.719 --> 00:58:54.639
be my tummy saying food a biscuit. So yeah, what

736
00:58:54.920 --> 00:59:02.039
some people do, and it's it's it. Don't have to, okay,

737
00:59:02.920 --> 00:59:07.239
but you have your right as an English citizen to

738
00:59:07.559 --> 00:59:14.079
provide instead of providing the decent biscuits, you provide the

739
00:59:14.159 --> 00:59:19.440
home brand biscuits for the cup of tea. And also

740
00:59:21.000 --> 00:59:27.840
you don't have to provide endless biscuits. I want to

741
00:59:27.880 --> 00:59:30.320
say endless. I mean they're all the same. There's no

742
00:59:30.440 --> 00:59:34.360
like massive biscuits. But although the wagon wheel used to

743
00:59:34.440 --> 00:59:37.719
be quite big, is it a biscuit? Is it? Is

744
00:59:37.760 --> 00:59:41.360
it like a chocolate because it is chocolate, but that's

745
00:59:41.480 --> 00:59:44.760
marshmallow inside, but also had biscuit. It's kind of a

746
00:59:44.760 --> 00:59:47.400
weird one is and it's too big to fit into

747
00:59:47.440 --> 00:59:51.559
a cup to dunke its. It's one of those weird

748
00:59:51.559 --> 00:59:54.320
things where you have to cut it in half first

749
00:59:55.199 --> 00:59:57.239
or in quarters, depending on how much you want to

750
00:59:57.239 --> 01:00:03.159
put in your mouth. And that's that's that was. I

751
01:00:03.159 --> 01:00:05.360
think I've probably spent about three months of school just

752
01:00:05.440 --> 01:00:07.679
learning how to do a wagon wheel, how to dip

753
01:00:07.719 --> 01:00:13.079
one of them without ruining everything because they drip, really drip.

754
01:00:13.880 --> 01:00:18.519
That's the thing. That's why we have the you know

755
01:00:18.519 --> 01:00:22.199
you got cup and saucer. We don't really have We

756
01:00:22.239 --> 01:00:26.559
don't really use saucers so much indoors. But that's what

757
01:00:26.679 --> 01:00:33.599
saucers were for was collecting the remnants of the biscuit

758
01:00:33.679 --> 01:00:36.840
of the tea dripping off the biscuit and any kind

759
01:00:36.920 --> 01:00:40.719
of chocolate or biscuity bits could like just be kept

760
01:00:40.760 --> 01:00:43.559
in there so it didn't go on to the table

761
01:00:44.639 --> 01:00:53.679
or drip onto your trousers. But yeah, generally, I think

762
01:00:53.719 --> 01:00:57.639
it's quite nice to have something different from other people

763
01:00:57.840 --> 01:01:00.000
because you know, I know that in Japan, I think

764
01:01:00.039 --> 01:01:03.440
they have the tea ceremony, but it's very different. I've

765
01:01:03.440 --> 01:01:05.880
done a tea ceremony and I put his center and

766
01:01:05.920 --> 01:01:10.480
they it's very slow. It's not something to be done

767
01:01:10.519 --> 01:01:14.480
when you're thirsty. That's all I'm saying. The tea ceremony

768
01:01:14.480 --> 01:01:18.960
isn't really about the tea. It's about mindfulness. It's about

769
01:01:20.000 --> 01:01:26.719
noticing every move that you make, every physical movement, every

770
01:01:26.920 --> 01:01:32.559
It's very slow and it's nice, very calm, but it's

771
01:01:33.840 --> 01:01:40.079
it's not really a social activity. I would argue. I'm

772
01:01:40.079 --> 01:01:43.000
trying to think of what other biscuits are liked. I

773
01:01:43.079 --> 01:01:47.000
used to have this little routine, I say, ritual, routine,

774
01:01:47.079 --> 01:01:57.639
ritual back in nineteen eighty eight, eighty eight, yeah, eighty eight,

775
01:02:00.400 --> 01:02:02.599
and I used to watch I remember I used to

776
01:02:02.639 --> 01:02:04.880
come home from work. I think this is when I

777
01:02:04.960 --> 01:02:10.440
was working at the co op on a Friday evening,

778
01:02:11.559 --> 01:02:16.920
I would watch Roseanne and Cheers. So between nine and ten,

779
01:02:18.760 --> 01:02:22.119
I couldn't tell you which one was on first, Roseanne

780
01:02:22.199 --> 01:02:24.639
or Cheers, I don't know, but they'd both be on.

781
01:02:24.800 --> 01:02:27.880
And what I would do is I would have a

782
01:02:27.960 --> 01:02:32.440
can of coke and a packet of biscuits, and I

783
01:02:32.440 --> 01:02:37.119
would just eat the whole lot, maybe even two packs

784
01:02:37.159 --> 01:02:39.159
of biscuits, but I think it's one pack of biscuits.

785
01:02:40.000 --> 01:02:43.519
It was even fig rolls. Maybe it was two packs actually,

786
01:02:45.519 --> 01:02:50.480
but ginger nuts probably, and I would just feel bloated

787
01:02:51.199 --> 01:02:56.599
too much. But then when I was at the co op,

788
01:02:56.840 --> 01:02:58.960
I definitely went for a bit of a biscuit period.

789
01:03:01.559 --> 01:03:04.360
Like it's a different weird visual, isn't that a biscuit

790
01:03:04.400 --> 01:03:09.159
period at lunch time, not lunchtime, at break time, the

791
01:03:09.199 --> 01:03:11.440
first break of the day when I worked in the

792
01:03:11.440 --> 01:03:15.440
co op, which was a supermarket thing. It wasn't a

793
01:03:15.480 --> 01:03:21.280
big supermarket that I worked in. And two tills that

794
01:03:21.480 --> 01:03:26.280
was it, really, I think, or three tills something like that.

795
01:03:27.000 --> 01:03:29.639
Four tills, I think, two tills on the main till,

796
01:03:29.639 --> 01:03:32.639
and then there's a couple of other little tills when

797
01:03:32.679 --> 01:03:42.880
it was busy. Anyway, I went and I had this

798
01:03:42.960 --> 01:03:47.039
little routine when I would have my break, I buy

799
01:03:47.079 --> 01:03:51.639
a can of coke and I would buy some fig rolls.

800
01:03:52.280 --> 01:03:57.599
They were not home brand figure roles because they were

801
01:03:57.639 --> 01:04:01.119
for me. They weren't for a visitor that had not,

802
01:04:01.480 --> 01:04:04.920
let me know, you know, an unwanted visitor. That's the

803
01:04:04.920 --> 01:04:08.559
one that would get the home brand figure roles. These

804
01:04:08.559 --> 01:04:11.760
were nice figure roles. And there's nothing wrong with home

805
01:04:11.800 --> 01:04:19.039
brand biscuits, you know, for other people. But you know,

806
01:04:19.320 --> 01:04:23.079
I've been raised to be a biscuits snob. That's how

807
01:04:23.079 --> 01:04:28.079
it is. So it's not my fault. It's like, you

808
01:04:28.119 --> 01:04:30.559
wouldn't blame me if I had a religious belief, if

809
01:04:30.559 --> 01:04:32.280
I was brought up to have that belief, and no

810
01:04:32.320 --> 01:04:36.920
matter how silly it might seem to everyone else, you

811
01:04:36.960 --> 01:04:39.559
can't blame me because I've been raised to believe that

812
01:04:39.599 --> 01:04:42.840
I don't know any different, and it's almost impossible to

813
01:04:42.880 --> 01:04:46.519
believe anything different in a way. But it's just like

814
01:04:46.800 --> 01:04:50.320
that's all I know, and that's that's what I you know,

815
01:04:51.119 --> 01:04:55.159
it's very hard to get someone out of that. And

816
01:04:55.199 --> 01:05:02.000
it's the same with biscuits. Biscuits are very much like religion,

817
01:05:02.119 --> 01:05:08.199
don't you know? So I used to have these fig

818
01:05:08.280 --> 01:05:14.199
rolls fig rolls, but they weren't because there's different types

819
01:05:14.239 --> 01:05:17.000
of fig roles you can get. You can get the

820
01:05:17.039 --> 01:05:19.320
ones that are like a roll, like literally they look

821
01:05:19.360 --> 01:05:21.559
a little bit like a sausage roll, really like a

822
01:05:21.599 --> 01:05:26.039
really small sausage roll. These ones weren't them. They were

823
01:05:26.360 --> 01:05:31.320
more fancy and a little bit bigger and like rolled

824
01:05:31.400 --> 01:05:36.480
over pastry. It was different. It tasted much nicer, and

825
01:05:36.519 --> 01:05:38.960
I think there was like one, two, three for about

826
01:05:39.079 --> 01:05:43.119
six in a pack. And I'd eat the whole lot

827
01:05:43.360 --> 01:05:49.079
with bican of coke. Oh yeah, fifteen minute break and

828
01:05:49.719 --> 01:05:52.199
what I would do do that listen to the radio

829
01:05:52.400 --> 01:05:56.119
in the staff room. The staff room was like big

830
01:05:56.239 --> 01:05:59.920
enough for two people sitting at a table and probably

831
01:06:00.639 --> 01:06:03.719
a coat wrack or you know, that's it. There wasn't

832
01:06:03.760 --> 01:06:09.400
a lot of room in there. And I did that

833
01:06:09.440 --> 01:06:19.840
for months just a nice or lovely figure roles I

834
01:06:19.920 --> 01:06:25.880
was can of coke. Yeah, it was nice. I like that.

835
01:06:26.960 --> 01:06:28.840
It's weird though, because I closed my eyes and I

836
01:06:28.840 --> 01:06:34.840
can still see inside that shop. Now. I have been

837
01:06:34.880 --> 01:06:39.239
inside the shop over the years, because I've visited that

838
01:06:39.360 --> 01:06:43.320
town many times, hundreds of times since I left school,

839
01:06:44.159 --> 01:06:46.519
since I left the town, so I've been back loads

840
01:06:46.559 --> 01:06:51.440
of times. It's a long time since I went into

841
01:06:51.519 --> 01:06:55.800
that shop, many many years, so it might have changed,

842
01:06:56.039 --> 01:07:00.960
but I just remember how it used to be. So

843
01:07:01.159 --> 01:07:05.679
you'd go in, you'd look at the shop and it

844
01:07:05.760 --> 01:07:12.320
was next to a if you was facing it. Let's

845
01:07:12.360 --> 01:07:15.320
say you like if you walked out of the front

846
01:07:15.840 --> 01:07:21.719
door of the co op shop supermarket and just walk backwards.

847
01:07:22.000 --> 01:07:24.480
Not a good idea. You might bang into something. But

848
01:07:24.519 --> 01:07:30.480
it was quite a big pavement and you stopped and

849
01:07:30.559 --> 01:07:32.920
you opened your eyes. I mean again, why would you

850
01:07:32.960 --> 01:07:35.559
have Why would you close your eyes if you're walking backwards?

851
01:07:35.840 --> 01:07:39.199
But why would you walk backwards? Would it make any

852
01:07:39.239 --> 01:07:41.599
difference if you had your eyes open? Because you can't

853
01:07:41.599 --> 01:07:46.199
see behind yourself, can you less You're a pigeon. So

854
01:07:46.280 --> 01:07:49.400
that's what I admire about pigeons, because they can see

855
01:07:50.039 --> 01:08:00.559
pretty much everywhere. They're omnipotous on nipple nippless nips. And

856
01:08:02.079 --> 01:08:07.159
to the left there was this Chinese takeaway and that

857
01:08:07.360 --> 01:08:09.679
was it. That was all there was on that little

858
01:08:09.679 --> 01:08:14.280
bit of road. So you go into the supermarket and

859
01:08:14.320 --> 01:08:17.119
on the right hand side there was the bit where

860
01:08:17.159 --> 01:08:21.720
the lorriers would go into deliver. So you go into

861
01:08:21.760 --> 01:08:24.520
the entrance, it was like a double door. Left hand

862
01:08:24.560 --> 01:08:27.319
side was the counter all the way up on the

863
01:08:27.399 --> 01:08:30.680
left hand side, so it was a cigarettes, booze all

864
01:08:30.680 --> 01:08:40.960
that stuff. Yeah, I think there might have been two tills. Yeah, ah,

865
01:08:41.000 --> 01:08:43.840
and I think there was a conveyor belt as well

866
01:08:43.840 --> 01:08:50.840
on there. Why would there isn't now, but I think

867
01:08:50.840 --> 01:09:01.000
there might have been back then. Ah maybe anyway, so

868
01:09:01.119 --> 01:09:04.520
there was that. And then if you so you go in,

869
01:09:04.720 --> 01:09:09.880
turn right, there's one lane, goes down, then turn left

870
01:09:10.399 --> 01:09:18.920
there's another lane and turn right and then turn left

871
01:09:18.920 --> 01:09:20.359
and that leads you to the thing. So there's a

872
01:09:20.359 --> 01:09:24.800
few lanes. Again, it's not a large store. There's free

873
01:09:24.880 --> 01:09:27.760
of stuff at the bottom. I did like the smell

874
01:09:29.279 --> 01:09:33.079
of the place. It's quite a nice smell.

875
01:09:33.159 --> 01:09:33.279
You know.

876
01:09:33.319 --> 01:09:38.319
There's lots of groceries and bread and vegetables and or sorry,

877
01:09:39.000 --> 01:09:47.640
vegetables and that you could feed your tortis. Stop it.

878
01:09:51.640 --> 01:10:00.039
I think I just heard a fly. We think I

879
01:10:00.039 --> 01:10:05.600
suppose just different, yeah, dairy products. The fridges were there,

880
01:10:06.279 --> 01:10:09.039
so I guess the smell of the fridges, and it

881
01:10:09.119 --> 01:10:13.439
was just a nice, general, nice, quite quite nice smell.

882
01:10:14.840 --> 01:10:17.479
I think the supermarkets do smell quite nice. Actually, it's

883
01:10:17.479 --> 01:10:22.079
all that mixture of different things. Why I wasn't so

884
01:10:22.239 --> 01:10:25.119
keen on was the brown jacket I had to wear,

885
01:10:25.800 --> 01:10:28.439
because first of all, it was too tight and I

886
01:10:28.520 --> 01:10:32.159
was tiny back then. You know, I was like nine

887
01:10:32.159 --> 01:10:43.600
stone or something. It's like really really slim, and wow,

888
01:10:43.960 --> 01:10:53.000
I'm like six six stone heavier. It used to be

889
01:10:53.039 --> 01:10:56.600
seven stone heavier. But I lost this. I lost this

890
01:10:56.960 --> 01:11:02.079
some weird I did. I did. I did, and kept

891
01:11:02.119 --> 01:11:07.479
it off as well, which is pretty cool. Oh yeah.

892
01:11:07.520 --> 01:11:11.520
I didn't like it to smell weird, just smell weird.

893
01:11:11.680 --> 01:11:15.479
Just had a weird smell, and I thought, I don't

894
01:11:15.520 --> 01:11:21.800
want to smell weird. I'm only seventeen. I just I

895
01:11:21.840 --> 01:11:24.479
was hoping to one day get to hold someone's hand,

896
01:11:25.359 --> 01:11:28.359
you know, don't have romance. I didn't want to be

897
01:11:28.399 --> 01:11:33.159
walking around smilly. I don't know what it was. I

898
01:11:33.239 --> 01:11:35.560
think someone else had worn it before me. I took

899
01:11:35.600 --> 01:11:38.600
it home, I washed, it still had a weird kind

900
01:11:38.600 --> 01:11:41.600
of smell, and eventually I was able to get a

901
01:11:41.840 --> 01:11:45.199
bigger one. So I'd much rather have something that looks

902
01:11:45.199 --> 01:11:47.399
too big on me than something that looks too small

903
01:11:47.439 --> 01:11:54.960
on me. Plus it was, yeah, it was uncomfortable. Uncomfortable,

904
01:11:58.960 --> 01:12:02.199
But then they did they did used to employ kids,

905
01:12:04.119 --> 01:12:07.600
like in the evenings, like part time stuff from school

906
01:12:08.199 --> 01:12:11.039
at the weekends and stuff, so I think they probably

907
01:12:11.840 --> 01:12:15.119
they had little sizes for the kids. I just happened

908
01:12:15.119 --> 01:12:24.159
to be kids size, even at seventeen. Yeah, that was. Yeah.

909
01:12:24.159 --> 01:12:25.920
I wasn't a big fan out, but it was once

910
01:12:25.960 --> 01:12:27.880
I got a Yeah, I got a bigger one, but

911
01:12:27.920 --> 01:12:29.319
it was too long for me, so I had to

912
01:12:29.399 --> 01:12:33.399
roll the sleeves up. I don't know, what can you do.

913
01:12:33.560 --> 01:12:40.720
It's like it, okay, I need so I've got I've

914
01:12:40.720 --> 01:12:44.680
got a cardigan that I need to be bigger because

915
01:12:44.680 --> 01:12:50.520
of my body, but I don't have long arms, so

916
01:12:52.359 --> 01:12:57.159
it kind of covers half my hands. But the shoulders

917
01:12:57.479 --> 01:13:01.359
and the upper body feels you know, it's just weird.

918
01:13:01.600 --> 01:13:08.800
Just what those what is it? Taro tarodactyl tero doctyl,

919
01:13:09.760 --> 01:13:15.479
terodactyl taroctable. You know the ones with little hands kangaroos,

920
01:13:15.479 --> 01:13:18.920
that's another one. It look like little arms and bigger body.

921
01:13:19.000 --> 01:13:22.119
Maybe that's me. Not quite that bad, but I don't

922
01:13:22.239 --> 01:13:29.640
have really yeah, I don't have long arms. I don't

923
01:13:29.680 --> 01:13:35.399
have like really short arms, but they're not long. They're

924
01:13:35.399 --> 01:13:41.800
not long enough to fit my body. Basically, my height

925
01:13:41.920 --> 01:13:45.119
is not My legs are not long enough to fit

926
01:13:45.159 --> 01:13:51.159
my body either. Come five for eight. My ideal weight

927
01:13:51.239 --> 01:14:00.319
should be like eleven and a half stone.

928
01:13:55.439 --> 01:13:55.520
And.

929
01:13:57.439 --> 01:14:03.680
I'm not that and no eleven and a half stone.

930
01:14:04.359 --> 01:14:09.000
So even if I was twelve and a half or thirteen,

931
01:14:10.479 --> 01:14:19.399
then it's still that's overweight. Apparently. So my weight for

932
01:14:19.520 --> 01:14:25.159
my height is ridiculous. You know, I should be like

933
01:14:25.439 --> 01:14:29.319
seven foot tall from my height for my height for

934
01:14:29.439 --> 01:14:33.640
my weight, I should probably be about six two six

935
01:14:33.760 --> 01:14:39.640
three six five six four to be my my weight,

936
01:14:39.760 --> 01:14:46.159
I should be yeah, that's six six foot five maybe

937
01:14:46.199 --> 01:14:48.319
six three. I could get away of it at six

938
01:14:48.479 --> 01:14:55.960
three six two, you know, well set, heavy but quite tall.

939
01:14:56.000 --> 01:14:58.600
I could get I could do that, but I'm not.

940
01:14:58.720 --> 01:15:04.640
I'm stumpy and like a I wouldn't look at her

941
01:15:04.680 --> 01:15:10.680
place on the new swat snow White movie. I don't

942
01:15:10.720 --> 01:15:16.520
mean taking her place. She'd live. I have another acting job.

943
01:15:16.560 --> 01:15:21.199
After that, I watched a bit of snow White, the

944
01:15:21.239 --> 01:15:28.920
new one, and it's I'd say, it's weird, right, just

945
01:15:29.039 --> 01:15:33.800
leave her alone. That's that's that's my opinion. It's weird.

946
01:15:33.800 --> 01:15:37.239
It's just that really really went for her because she

947
01:15:37.359 --> 01:15:43.199
was just talking like a teenager. She's a teenager, or

948
01:15:43.239 --> 01:15:45.039
maybe she's in her early twenties. I don't know, but

949
01:15:45.079 --> 01:15:48.039
she just she just she was just talking away that

950
01:15:48.560 --> 01:15:53.039
she talked to, just being herself, and I really really

951
01:15:53.079 --> 01:15:58.720
went for her. It's like, leave her alone. And I

952
01:15:58.760 --> 01:16:00.800
didn't think of that in a sense of like a

953
01:16:00.840 --> 01:16:03.159
father figure, because I don't feel like a father figure

954
01:16:03.199 --> 01:16:10.119
towards a young woman, just from a you know, a

955
01:16:10.239 --> 01:16:17.600
human perspective. Leave alone. It's snow White. Don't mess with

956
01:16:17.680 --> 01:16:25.319
snow White. Show some respect for the Snowy the Snowy one.

957
01:16:27.800 --> 01:16:31.359
Do you think that snow White did she have who

958
01:16:31.439 --> 01:16:33.840
is it had blonde hair in the Disney movies, because

959
01:16:33.840 --> 01:16:36.000
you'd think snow White would have blonde hair. I don't

960
01:16:36.039 --> 01:16:40.520
know why, like just blonde. I don't know, snow maybe

961
01:16:40.560 --> 01:16:47.439
because white snow is white. Who had blonde hair? Goldilocks?

962
01:16:48.039 --> 01:16:51.319
Suppose that makes sense, wouldn't it Goldilocks? But then she'd

963
01:16:51.319 --> 01:16:55.840
have golden hair, not white hair or blonde hair. Rather,

964
01:16:59.800 --> 01:17:04.840
who else is the sleeping beauty? It's a Goldilocks sleeping beauty.

965
01:17:05.079 --> 01:17:11.359
Rapunzel shu Apunzel. I don't know what color hair she had.

966
01:17:11.600 --> 01:17:22.159
She had long hair, didn't she Rapunzel? M Still one

967
01:17:22.199 --> 01:17:26.000
of my favorite is the let it Go lyric goal

968
01:17:26.680 --> 01:17:31.760
do do do do do do letly goo lyto do

969
01:17:31.760 --> 01:17:36.199
do do do do do do do do do do

970
01:17:36.199 --> 01:17:40.960
do do do do do do do do The cold

971
01:17:41.039 --> 01:17:44.760
doesn't bother me anyway, I see. That's the only let

972
01:17:44.840 --> 01:17:47.039
it go and the cold doesn't bother me anyway is

973
01:17:47.039 --> 01:17:50.319
the only only bits I remember. I liked that movie,

974
01:17:52.039 --> 01:17:54.720
Yeah I did? And what is it? The silly? That

975
01:17:54.840 --> 01:18:02.760
is it? The Snowman? He's good in that as well. Yeah,

976
01:18:03.079 --> 01:18:05.000
that's got to be the first role that he ever

977
01:18:05.039 --> 01:18:08.880
had where people weren't judging on his appearance. Blind me

978
01:18:09.359 --> 01:18:14.800
leave the man alone. He can't like he's ether overweight

979
01:18:14.960 --> 01:18:17.560
or like they moan him. You've lost a lot of weight,

980
01:18:17.760 --> 01:18:22.600
are you okay? Like leave him alone. He's a funny acts.

981
01:18:25.840 --> 01:18:29.239
I'm very in a supportive, supporting actors kind of mood

982
01:18:29.840 --> 01:18:35.680
at the moment. Oh yes, did you know that the

983
01:18:37.359 --> 01:18:45.359
It's not really related to biscuits, but Canelo fight against Crawford,

984
01:18:46.399 --> 01:18:50.119
which is on in September. I think it's going to

985
01:18:50.119 --> 01:18:55.600
be on Netflix. Netflix, So I signed up to Netflix

986
01:18:55.640 --> 01:18:57.840
because it's going to be free. Well it's not really free,

987
01:18:57.880 --> 01:19:00.880
but it's going to be streamed, not pay per view.

988
01:19:02.000 --> 01:19:09.840
One of the biggest fights I would say of the year. Personally,

989
01:19:10.520 --> 01:19:14.640
the most exciting fights of the year. Four boxing fans

990
01:19:15.319 --> 01:19:24.359
fwortening Canelos It's a great fight. It would have been, yeah,

991
01:19:24.640 --> 01:19:32.199
I mean as far as exciting fights go, boxing wise,

992
01:19:32.840 --> 01:19:39.079
I mean, you've got the the World heavyweight Championship with

993
01:19:39.439 --> 01:19:42.880
Usik and Dubois, but they've already fought before. So although

994
01:19:42.920 --> 01:19:45.439
it's exciting, it's July the nineteenth, and I'm going to

995
01:19:45.439 --> 01:19:51.880
be watching it one percent hopefully, and I'm looking forward

996
01:19:51.920 --> 01:19:56.319
to it. But they have fought before, and Canelo and

997
01:19:56.479 --> 01:20:03.800
Usik beating, so that doesn't have the same excitement as

998
01:20:04.560 --> 01:20:12.640
Crawford Canelo because they've never fought before and they both

999
01:20:13.279 --> 01:20:17.319
they're both broken records in their own way. I mean,

1000
01:20:17.439 --> 01:20:22.439
no one, there's no boxer, there's no box there's no

1001
01:20:22.560 --> 01:20:29.359
active boxer around today that can match Canelo's boxing record,

1002
01:20:30.000 --> 01:20:33.319
his professional record. Not about how many wins he's had,

1003
01:20:33.399 --> 01:20:39.159
just how many names he's fought, how many big names

1004
01:20:40.279 --> 01:20:44.399
he's actually conquered, whether he beat them or not. Actually,

1005
01:20:44.840 --> 01:20:51.800
he just fought so many people and won so many titles.

1006
01:20:52.239 --> 01:20:57.720
But then, but Crawford is unified two different divisions. It's

1007
01:20:57.760 --> 01:21:02.000
a three weeight world champion, and he's unified three divisions.

1008
01:21:03.760 --> 01:21:07.239
I think or is unified two divisions and won three

1009
01:21:07.279 --> 01:21:10.560
world titles and he's eight. Yeah, he's won three. I

1010
01:21:10.560 --> 01:21:15.359
think it's I think he's one world titles in three divisions,

1011
01:21:16.159 --> 01:21:22.199
three weight classes. He's unified in two weight classes. And

1012
01:21:22.359 --> 01:21:26.239
if he's fighting Canelo, who holds all the belts in

1013
01:21:26.399 --> 01:21:29.600
super middleweight. So if he wins that, he will be

1014
01:21:29.640 --> 01:21:36.000
the first boxer in history to be unified in three

1015
01:21:36.479 --> 01:21:44.760
different weight divisions. Now, Canelo is already one, regardless of

1016
01:21:44.760 --> 01:21:47.079
what anyone says, one of the greatest boxers of our

1017
01:21:47.119 --> 01:21:54.359
generation for what is accomplished, just what he's done is

1018
01:21:54.479 --> 01:21:58.520
just phenomenal and he's potentially on the slide, but even

1019
01:21:58.600 --> 01:22:03.439
on the slide, he's still beating the one. So they's

1020
01:22:03.520 --> 01:22:06.039
always on a slide because he's getting old. Now he's

1021
01:22:06.680 --> 01:22:09.560
what is he thirty three or thirty four, thirty five?

1022
01:22:09.680 --> 01:22:13.039
Maybe now he's been boxing since he was fifteen, I

1023
01:22:13.039 --> 01:22:18.960
think professionally, I mean, he's been a professional fighter for

1024
01:22:19.000 --> 01:22:25.760
what twenty years. He's won so many world titles. I

1025
01:22:25.800 --> 01:22:28.079
don't know if anyone else has won as many titles

1026
01:22:28.079 --> 01:22:34.760
as him, as many divisions as him. Maybe Pakio may

1027
01:22:34.840 --> 01:22:43.079
Mayweather and Pacio Pakio Paki Hoo. I think Pakio had

1028
01:22:43.119 --> 01:22:52.199
seven different divisions, seven different weight divisions, and almost I

1029
01:22:52.279 --> 01:22:57.439
almost believed that this was just like fake news. Pakio

1030
01:22:57.640 --> 01:23:06.800
is actually coming back after year of professional boxing, years

1031
01:23:07.960 --> 01:23:11.159
of like proper you know, fighting big names and whatever,

1032
01:23:13.000 --> 01:23:16.920
and he's fighting for a world title. No warmup fights.

1033
01:23:18.119 --> 01:23:24.359
He's fighting straight away for a world title. And I

1034
01:23:24.399 --> 01:23:29.840
will watch it, but I do wonder, like, I mean,

1035
01:23:29.880 --> 01:23:33.479
he's not the first one to do that, but he's

1036
01:23:33.520 --> 01:23:35.520
been out of the ring for quite a long time.

1037
01:23:39.000 --> 01:23:46.319
You know, when Sugar O Leonard came back to beat

1038
01:23:46.520 --> 01:23:51.039
Marvin Hagler, he'd been out of the ring for a

1039
01:23:51.079 --> 01:23:54.720
good couple of years or so, but I think many's

1040
01:23:54.760 --> 01:23:57.239
been out of the ring for five or six years.

1041
01:23:58.000 --> 01:24:02.119
He's had a couple of exhibitions fights, maybe they went

1042
01:24:02.199 --> 01:24:06.520
on his record as being professional fights, but he hasn't

1043
01:24:06.560 --> 01:24:12.399
fought any boxers. I think he fought like a kickboxer,

1044
01:24:12.800 --> 01:24:15.359
but in a ring. I think it was a kickboxing

1045
01:24:15.399 --> 01:24:20.199
world champion, but it's still mootai or something. And there

1046
01:24:20.199 --> 01:24:21.880
was one fight he had when he just kept knocking

1047
01:24:21.880 --> 01:24:24.399
a bloke down like so, He's had a few fights

1048
01:24:24.439 --> 01:24:28.159
like that over the years, but professionally, I don't think

1049
01:24:28.159 --> 01:24:31.960
he's fought for six at least six years, maybe longer

1050
01:24:32.720 --> 01:24:39.399
as an actual contender in the world boxing scene. And

1051
01:24:39.439 --> 01:24:44.479
he goes straight into fighting for a world title and

1052
01:24:44.520 --> 01:24:49.119
he's what he's about forty four now, I think, or

1053
01:24:49.159 --> 01:24:53.239
forty five or older, maybe even I don't know, getting

1054
01:24:53.239 --> 01:24:56.840
onto fifty. I think maybe yeah, I think he's getting on.

1055
01:24:57.560 --> 01:25:00.840
He can't be getting onto fifty, can he. He's in

1056
01:25:00.880 --> 01:25:04.760
his forties early forties, I think. But then that makes

1057
01:25:04.800 --> 01:25:07.199
me think, you know, like I hear people going on

1058
01:25:07.239 --> 01:25:10.479
about I can hear people going what's this.

1059
01:25:10.439 --> 01:25:12.039
Got to do about you? Of course, got to go

1060
01:25:12.119 --> 01:25:15.279
back to boxing, and what are the biscuits? We were

1061
01:25:15.319 --> 01:25:17.239
really interested in the biscuits and then you talking about

1062
01:25:17.239 --> 01:25:21.000
boxing again. I'll be honest with you, I think I've

1063
01:25:21.079 --> 01:25:24.199
run out of biscuits stories. I didn't think i'd ever

1064
01:25:24.239 --> 01:25:27.239
say that out loud as a sentence. I never thought

1065
01:25:27.279 --> 01:25:35.399
i'd come out of my mouth. Suddenly his heavyweights, you

1066
01:25:35.439 --> 01:25:42.119
know the people talking about heavyweights on the internet again. Oh,

1067
01:25:42.760 --> 01:25:46.720
Dillian White, he's thirty eight years old. Now he's you know,

1068
01:25:47.199 --> 01:25:51.399
he's got most of the tumor. Is going to be

1069
01:25:51.399 --> 01:25:55.520
fighting him in September, and he doesn't stand a chance

1070
01:25:55.560 --> 01:26:00.239
against him because he's twenty years old. And Dillian why

1071
01:26:00.479 --> 01:26:03.920
is thirty eight? Doesn't hands down the hope against the

1072
01:26:03.960 --> 01:26:04.760
young man.

1073
01:26:06.079 --> 01:26:11.640
And then it's like everyone's forgotten. George Foreman, he didn't

1074
01:26:11.640 --> 01:26:15.000
come back until he was about thirty eight, and he

1075
01:26:15.039 --> 01:26:20.039
won the world title at forty four or forty five,

1076
01:26:20.119 --> 01:26:23.880
forty four forty five. He fought for the world title

1077
01:26:24.319 --> 01:26:34.800
twice before that, and against Tommy Morrison and Evander Hollyfield,

1078
01:26:35.079 --> 01:26:39.840
and eventually he did win it. So he had to

1079
01:26:39.880 --> 01:26:42.520
fight to get it. He doesn't just handed it, you know,

1080
01:26:42.560 --> 01:26:44.560
he had he had to have loads of twenty odd

1081
01:26:44.600 --> 01:26:47.239
fights before he got a chance to fight for the

1082
01:26:47.239 --> 01:26:53.880
world title the second time round, and they're writing people

1083
01:26:53.920 --> 01:27:02.079
off who are less than forty. It's just I don't know,

1084
01:27:02.640 --> 01:27:09.000
just it seemed to have forgotten. And then you've got

1085
01:27:09.000 --> 01:27:17.520
desic desic Derek Chisaura, who's a handful for anyone. Its

1086
01:27:17.600 --> 01:27:21.199
really weird. It's like Derek I can't say his name today,

1087
01:27:21.239 --> 01:27:26.359
Derek Chasaura. He's he's been winning quite a few fights lately.

1088
01:27:26.520 --> 01:27:31.720
He's really good. He's exciting, exciting to watch. And he's

1089
01:27:32.680 --> 01:27:41.800
nearing forty now, he thought, and Dillian, why that he's

1090
01:27:42.319 --> 01:27:45.880
he's not been very active, but he's had a great career.

1091
01:27:48.520 --> 01:27:51.680
Tyson Fury, who's some people say, oh, he's not any good.

1092
01:27:52.000 --> 01:27:58.279
Not really. Tyson Fury made both of those boxes look awful.

1093
01:28:01.359 --> 01:28:05.560
I mean really, he made them both look awful. It

1094
01:28:05.560 --> 01:28:10.439
looked effortless for him. Isn't it weird seeing the amount

1095
01:28:10.479 --> 01:28:13.840
no matter what you do, like the boxes, no matter

1096
01:28:13.880 --> 01:28:18.000
how successful you are, and the minute you lose like

1097
01:28:18.279 --> 01:28:21.960
uk now is no good. It's like, okay, who did

1098
01:28:22.000 --> 01:28:28.119
he lose to? He lost to Usick, who will possibly

1099
01:28:28.119 --> 01:28:30.279
go down as being one of the greatest heavyweights ever,

1100
01:28:30.960 --> 01:28:35.239
one of the greatest heavyweights. Definitely of this era, this generation,

1101
01:28:36.079 --> 01:28:39.159
these the last twenty years, I'd say, because of what

1102
01:28:39.239 --> 01:28:47.199
he's achieved, unbeaten at the moment. Yeah, I just I

1103
01:28:47.199 --> 01:28:53.479
don't know. Can't we just get along, That's all I'm saying.

1104
01:28:54.960 --> 01:29:01.159
Let's just all have a cup of tea and some biscuits. Zah,

1105
01:29:01.520 --> 01:29:04.560
I don't know. That was all weird recalling. I'm going

1106
01:29:04.600 --> 01:29:08.560
to go, thank you for listening, and remember to be

1107
01:29:08.640 --> 01:29:12.039
kind to yourself because you do deserve to be happy.

1108
01:29:13.159 --> 01:29:17.399
Be gentle with yourself because you deserve to feel safe.

1109
01:29:17.600 --> 01:29:22.000
Lots of love. Bye,