June 29, 2025

(no music) (5 hours) Sunday Summary | LMBYTS #1384 | Jason Newland | 29th June 2025

(no music) (5 hours) Sunday Summary | LMBYTS #1384 | Jason Newland | 29th June 2025
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Hello, oh, welcome to Sweaty Heatwave. My name's Sweaty Heatwave.

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My website is Sweatyheatwave dot com. Bla blur. It's hot.

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It's hot, hot, hot, hot, hot hot hot. I can't

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take video out until it gets cooler down because it'll

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be too hot for him out there, so he's stuck

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inside with me me. So yeah. Jasonnewland dot com is

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my website. My name is Jason Newland. Please I'm listen

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when you can safely close your eyes. And Vinnie has

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spotted a fly? Is it a same fly from last year?

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Vin same fly has been visited ten years now, it's

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been visiting us ten years. On breeze to chase the

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same fly. Eyes hot, I'm gonna scrunch my T shirt

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T shirt, T shirt up so my bellies feeling the

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cool breeze. There's a little bit of a cool breeze

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coming in through the window a little bit. Well, it's

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a breeze. I don't know if it's cool, but it's breezy.

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I'm just gonna imagine it's cool.

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I mean, technically, I don't have to take all my

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clothes off because once I kind of expose my belly area.

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That's about ninety five percent of my body, isn't it so?

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Oh lovely?

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By the way, there's any single women out there that

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looking for a new boyfriend, Oh, come and let me

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know me and my big wobbly belly war Okay, I'll

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stop now. Whoops. I want to say thank you to

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Tammy for your PayPal gift. Thank you very much. And

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it's Sunday, the uh, I don't know what the date is.

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I think it's a twenty ninth of or the thirtieth.

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It's either the twenty ninth the thirtieth of June twenty

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twenty five, because the first of July is Tuesday, and

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it's Sunday today. So if there's thirty one days in June,

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then this is the thirtieth today. If there's thirty days

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in June than today's or twenty ninth.

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Were you the April, May, June, September, thirty days in

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fourth for the bed member?

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I don't. I can't remember the rhyme. I can't remember

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the rhyme. I don't. I don't remember it. But I've

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told you a thousand times.

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Yeah, Unfortunately, when you start telling me something that I'm

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not interested in.

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My brain shuts down. Sorry, I can't help it. Oh,

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my friend's still in hospital. I haven't been there this

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week end. Today, Alvin is you're gonna hear me shuffling

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about a bit because he's hunting the fly today. Sunday

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is very, very difficult to travel anywhere unless you have

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a car of your own, and I was not going

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to ask neighbors for help today because it's Sunday, you know.

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So this is going to be like my summary of

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the week. That's what I'm going to talk about, although

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I kind of went quite in depth, but there's probably

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stuff I've forgotten that I didn't mention. So the buses

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and the trains are not very regular on a Sunday Saturday.

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I needed. I needed to not go in yesterday. I

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needed a break.

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I just needed a little bit of time with my

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little baby boy over here. And I think he needed

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that because he's been acting strange towards me, especially the

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last few days before, you know, I had some time

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until I was back.

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For example, it's not really eating much at the moment,

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but that's I'm guessing that's down to the heat.

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A lot of that however, However, however, However, he stopped

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sleeping in bed with me again. It could be partially

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to do the heat, but he was just sitting down

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on the floor staring at me. There was he had

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definitely had an issue with me, really like he didn't

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he was angry or whatever. So I managed to get

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him back in the bedroom me and he's fine again,

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but for a few days. I mean, I woke up

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the other day he wasn't even in the same room

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because in the living room. He does do that occasionally,

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but it's rare, it's very rare. And I was starting

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to think. I wonder if I kicked him out of

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bed in my sleep one night and it upset him.

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I was in my sleep. I didn't I'm not responsible

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for what I do when I'm asleep. I might have

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been a bit having a dream or something, dreaming I

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was a dad daddy leg long lick leg long a

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long leg, daddy long leg juggling or something. I don't know,

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and so I might have just acted. He kicked him

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out of the bed, and he might have he might

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have been a shock to him, because if he was asleep,

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and you know, he's got every right to be annoyed

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with me. For that, But at the same time, I

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would never do that. If I don't, I might do No,

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I wouldn't. I would never do that if I was awake,

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not necessarily really annoyed me.

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No, I would never do that. A little boy. It's

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only little Linnie. It's only little baby.

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It's my little baby, my little baby, my little baby.

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Vinny Vinnie, Vinnie Vinnie.

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He's a big grumpy as well. I think the heat's

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got him a little bit. I don't care too much

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about the heat. Yeah, it's just heating it. I've been warmer,

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That's how I see it. It's like, you know what,

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I've been way hotter than this.

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On numerous occasions. It's just just have to adapt. It's

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not all. It's not forever. It's just for I don't know,

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a few days if that, and then everyone's going to

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start complaining, Oh it's so cold. Guarantee you guarantee in

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October time, Guarantee people will be walking around saying, didn't

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you never summer? What happened to the summers?

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Almost it didn't exist completely, forgetting the fact that they

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couldn't leave the house because it was so hot. You

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could fry an egg on your head, especially baldies like me.

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It's like short term memory in it. That's what it is.

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So you know, I've been to Thailand. This is cool

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in Thailand. This is not a hot day in time.

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And also I worked in a bakery, like a proper

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big industrial bakery when I was in my twenties that

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was hot.

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All the time, like hot with all their otherns, ridiculously hot.

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So yeah, this this isn't really I'm not saying it's comfortable.

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I'm not hugely uncomfortable though, really, because I'm indoors, got

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the windows open, sitting down, just chatting with you, got

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me a little my little monkey lying by my feet,

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huge jelly belly. It wabbles even when I sit still,

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m m m. If you haven't met me, you probably think, wow,

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what I thought you said he was massively fat. Well

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it's all I mean.

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You know, if you met me, you wouldn't think, oh,

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I didn't realize he was slim because I'm not slim.

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I had been doing some stomach exer Okay, I had

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been doing some stomach exercises.

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Until last Friday, when any kind of routine I had

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went up in pooh.

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Basically, although it's kind of strange because it's always like

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I've started a new routine, but I don't want I

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don't want this new routine really because it's involving going

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to a hospital every day, and that's not what let's

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face it, unless you work in the hospital, it's not

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what anyone wants to do is go to hospital every day.

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I mean, BlimE me, no, thank you, no, it's lovely,

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but of that enough now thanks, bye bye bye bye.

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Yeah not.

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I'm not even sure if I would make a very

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good patient, because that's pretty much where the word patients

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come from, isn't it. It's like he's a patient person.

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Any idea is to be because you have to wait

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around a lot, don't you if you're a patient.

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And back in the old days. Is a little bit

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similar to how my neighbor is because he's been in

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there since Friday, so it's that Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday,

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Saturday Sunday, nine days he's been in there, and it's

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rare to be in hospital that long. Because there's a

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there's a term in this country, which is really there

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might be another countries. I'm not saying that we're special

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but we are. And it's a term which is being

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used by I don't know if it was created by

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the NHS, but it's definitely on news about the NHS

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and people that were in beds, So the lack of

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hospital bed availability to new patients, that's basically what this

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subject was. So people that were in beds were called

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bed blockers, which.

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It's such a horrible term, you know, for someone that's unwell,

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Because someone a bed blocker, it's that's just like calling

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someone a coffin dodger, isn't it. It's you know, it's

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it's in the kind of it's in that ballpark. So

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he actually said to me, my neighbor, oh, I don't

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want to be in there because I'm just blocking the bed.

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And I said, if you were my size, you would

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be blocking the bed. You'd probably be breaking the bed,

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but you're not blocking anything. Yeah, but I should This

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bed could be used for someone that needs it more.

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So I'm like, okay, first of all, you're seventy eight

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years old, nearly you're nearly eighty years old. And I said,

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trust me, I'm not an expert on the NHS or anything,

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well anything, I'm not an expert on anything. However, I

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do know one thing about the NHS is they would

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not keep someone in the bed unless they had to

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less it was important they get people out quickly as possible.

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I mean, there was a time when if I hope

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it's okay and need to say woman, but when a

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woman gives birth, I hope that's not offended anyone back

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in I'm going to I mean, the last time I

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really had any contact with births was nineteen eighty when

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my little brother was born and she was in hospital

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for a few days, and it was just a standard birth.

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I don't think there was any not that I know of,

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any complications. I think she was a bit sore, like

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most people are, I guess, but when she pooed him out,

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she wasn't. There was nothing extra happening. But she was

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in hospital for probably three or four days probably, and

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then came out. And you know, nowadays, they're just like,

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as soon as you've had the baby, they wheel you out,

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it's okay, well, thanks by, and you're like, if they

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can ideal, if they will actually if you give birth

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in the ambulance, they just turn around and say you're

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home again. Seriously, I'm making it up seriously. I mean

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I had my appendix out when I was twelve, eleven twelve,

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I lose track, to be honest with you, I think about.

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Twelve ish and.

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I was in hospital probably five or six days, maybe

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a whole week. Best time in my childhood. That was

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happiest moment, the happiest period of my life as a child.

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When I was in hospital strange and I literally I

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did have the time of my life.

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It was great.

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I mean there was parts I didn't enjoy, you know,

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like the pain being prodded around in that, but generally,

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you know, outside of the actual operation and the anesthetic,

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I had a jolly good time, jolly, jolly, jolly good time.

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I'm pretty sure that anyone had a kid having an

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operation now, providing everything goes to plan, they'll be out

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very fairly quickly. I've known people to have heart surgery

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and be out the next day.

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It's like what that used to be. Something you'd stay

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in hospital for weeks with, maybe even longer. It's changed,

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everything's changed so much. At this point, my neighbor said,

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you ain't half going on. I just said that I

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feel that I'm blocking the bed. I mean, you give

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me a lecture and I said, yeah, I know, how

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does it feel? How does it feel? Hey, how does

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it feel? You do it to me? Now I'm doing

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it to you. How do you feel being on the

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receiving end? And he bunched me, but I said, like, look,

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they wouldn't keep you in here unless they need to.

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It's I think it's fair, it's safe to say that.

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I think they don't keep people in hospital beds unless

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it's necessary. And I think what happened is the news bulletins.

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This is a few years back.

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I mean it might even be going twenty years fifteen ten, fifteen,

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twenty years ago, but there was a big focus on

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it and a massive guilt trip on people.

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To the whole almost for being ill. People shouldn't feel

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guilty for being ill. It's ridiculous. And they even got

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to the point where they are saying, well, just don't

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go to the A and E unless you're really ill.

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Are you sure you.

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Need to go that this is the accident emergency? Are

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you sure you really need to.

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Go to the A and E? Don't block the A

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and E up, it's there for emergencies.

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And then they start giving examples of some people that

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would go in there because I don't know, I'm trying

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to think that's something really silly. But they'd always give

237
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the most extreme example as saying it's someone went in

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there because they wanted to order a taxi or something,

239
00:19:05.000 --> 00:19:07.000
you know, something said like that, or to they wanted

240
00:19:07.039 --> 00:19:07.839
to get a kebab.

241
00:19:08.680 --> 00:19:13.359
It's like, okay, there's going to be a kebab. There

242
00:19:13.400 --> 00:19:17.400
are going to be situations where someone walks into an

243
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emergency ward of a hospital and ask some how much

244
00:19:24.200 --> 00:19:27.359
for the suitcases or something like that, or I ordered

245
00:19:27.640 --> 00:19:31.599
where I need to get my dry cleaning done. It's

246
00:19:31.640 --> 00:19:35.519
going to happen occasionally, isn't it. But I wouldn't. I

247
00:19:35.519 --> 00:19:39.640
imagine it's not the norm. It's not the normal situation.

248
00:19:41.400 --> 00:19:44.759
But these news bulletins and even adverts they put on TV,

249
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you know, don't waste the NHA's time, don't go into

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the an unless it's an emergency. The thing is, most people,

251
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I'm guessing, you know, just from well I think it's

252
00:20:04.039 --> 00:20:09.119
a fair guess, But most people, I imagine are not medically trained.

253
00:20:09.839 --> 00:20:14.960
You know, the vast majority of people are not medically trained,

254
00:20:15.880 --> 00:20:18.680
or at least not enough to know whether something is

255
00:20:18.720 --> 00:20:27.319
an emergency. Now my friends in hospital. He feels absolutely fine.

256
00:20:30.640 --> 00:20:35.599
Now if it hadn't been for me, And I don't

257
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mean that as as.

258
00:20:37.400 --> 00:20:39.279
You would just say it now, do it now, there's

259
00:20:39.319 --> 00:20:44.559
a he you will if you look inside your pants, right,

260
00:20:44.640 --> 00:20:46.200
we'll do that now, get that over and done with.

261
00:20:47.839 --> 00:20:51.200
If it hadn't been for me, and this is this

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00:20:51.279 --> 00:20:53.640
is truth. I'm not saying it's nothing good about it.

263
00:20:53.720 --> 00:21:00.880
But he would still be in his home having fun,

264
00:21:00.960 --> 00:21:05.319
watching the sport. He'd know nothing about this. He'd know

265
00:21:05.400 --> 00:21:07.680
nothing if he doesn't look. He didn't have a mirror,

266
00:21:07.799 --> 00:21:11.640
he didn't know he was yellow, and he would have

267
00:21:11.640 --> 00:21:15.799
had hadn't spent the last nine year nine days in well.

268
00:21:15.799 --> 00:21:19.559
He thinks his prison, but it's honestly, he feels like

269
00:21:19.640 --> 00:21:24.279
he's locked up. But he wouldn't have been in hospital

270
00:21:24.319 --> 00:21:28.160
for the last nine days. But he also wouldn't have

271
00:21:28.200 --> 00:21:32.000
been having medication to help with his blood which is

272
00:21:32.039 --> 00:21:34.400
full of ammonia, which has caused him to be yellow.

273
00:21:35.200 --> 00:21:37.400
So who knows where he would be in nine you know,

274
00:21:37.519 --> 00:21:42.880
after nine days of no medication to help to clear

275
00:21:42.920 --> 00:21:46.279
that out of his blood. You know, he sort of

276
00:21:46.279 --> 00:21:50.640
goes different ways, doesn't it paramedics said it was the

277
00:21:50.680 --> 00:21:54.680
right thing to do. Everyone said it's everyone medical said

278
00:21:54.680 --> 00:21:56.480
it's the right thing to do to get him into

279
00:21:56.480 --> 00:21:59.039
the hospital, And the fact that he's still in there

280
00:22:00.079 --> 00:22:05.440
is kind of backing that up. I would say, but

281
00:22:05.559 --> 00:22:10.519
he had no physical symptoms, so that was an emergency situation.

282
00:22:10.160 --> 00:22:11.279
And he didn't even know it.

283
00:22:15.079 --> 00:22:20.119
Now, I didn't call for an ambulance because I've still

284
00:22:20.160 --> 00:22:22.519
got that stuck in my head. Don't call for an

285
00:22:22.559 --> 00:22:26.680
ambulance unless it's an emergency. How are we supposed to

286
00:22:26.720 --> 00:22:31.480
know if something's an emergency. I was told that if

287
00:22:31.480 --> 00:22:38.200
someone turns yellow, that's a very serious situation. It's pretty

288
00:22:38.240 --> 00:22:42.759
much in most cases. I'm sure there are times when

289
00:22:42.759 --> 00:22:48.599
it's not. But you know, it's the liver. It's an

290
00:22:48.720 --> 00:22:54.599
organ malfunction. And I didn't realize that the pancreas, the

291
00:22:54.640 --> 00:23:00.400
gall bladder, and the liver were all connected and any

292
00:23:00.440 --> 00:23:02.359
of those organs could cause someone.

293
00:23:02.119 --> 00:23:03.480
To go yellow. I didn't know.

294
00:23:03.519 --> 00:23:07.160
I've done a bit of research since since this all happened.

295
00:23:09.279 --> 00:23:11.240
Apparently we've only got one liver.

296
00:23:11.759 --> 00:23:12.599
I thought we had three.

297
00:23:13.359 --> 00:23:19.000
Just shows you what I know, So I think I didn't,

298
00:23:19.000 --> 00:23:21.279
you know, I ended up calling one one one, which

299
00:23:21.319 --> 00:23:24.880
is what they brought into play to stop people from

300
00:23:24.920 --> 00:23:31.119
wasting the emergency accident emergency time, or the ambulances time.

301
00:23:34.200 --> 00:23:37.000
And there are time wasters out there, of course, there

302
00:23:37.039 --> 00:23:40.680
are that always will be. I mean I went to

303
00:23:40.960 --> 00:23:45.200
I knew someone that worked or volunteered at the Samaritans.

304
00:23:45.680 --> 00:23:48.480
I've known a few people actually that have volunteered at Samaritans,

305
00:23:50.079 --> 00:23:53.680
especially people that were counselors when I was training and stuff.

306
00:23:55.480 --> 00:23:58.160
And I applied myself once that they turned me down,

307
00:24:00.039 --> 00:24:03.680
apparently something to do with not wearing any pants.

308
00:24:03.960 --> 00:24:06.799
But hey, I didn't know. I didn't think it was

309
00:24:06.799 --> 00:24:11.720
a normal interview. It's not always acceptable to take a

310
00:24:11.720 --> 00:24:16.160
pack lunch to a job interview. Where's the rules? Where's

311
00:24:16.200 --> 00:24:16.799
the rule book?

312
00:24:17.720 --> 00:24:26.839
No flasks of coffee? Apparently they get quite.

313
00:24:26.680 --> 00:24:31.160
A few time wasters at the Samaritans. And again they

314
00:24:31.160 --> 00:24:33.440
don't promote this. The reason I don't promote it is

315
00:24:33.480 --> 00:24:36.680
because they don't want people to stop phoning up.

316
00:24:38.319 --> 00:24:40.480
By the way, the Samaritans. If you don't know what

317
00:24:40.519 --> 00:24:44.599
it is, it then might be a version in every country.

318
00:24:44.640 --> 00:24:45.160
I don't know.

319
00:24:45.640 --> 00:24:48.640
It's basically a helpline, it's a phone. It's some way

320
00:24:48.640 --> 00:24:54.799
that you can phone up and talk to someone about anything.

321
00:24:56.200 --> 00:24:59.960
You're not really phoning up to get help as such.

322
00:25:00.759 --> 00:25:02.319
You know, if you need an ambulance, you need to call

323
00:25:02.319 --> 00:25:04.039
for an ambulance. If you need a police, you need

324
00:25:04.039 --> 00:25:08.960
to call for the police. The Samaritans, I think they

325
00:25:09.000 --> 00:25:12.640
can signpost you to different places, but they're really just

326
00:25:12.880 --> 00:25:17.960
an ear for you. You can talk about whatever's going on,

327
00:25:19.720 --> 00:25:25.000
and I think it's proven its usefulness millions of times over.

328
00:25:27.480 --> 00:25:27.640
Now.

329
00:25:27.720 --> 00:25:30.200
I didn't know, I've never I think I might have

330
00:25:30.240 --> 00:25:34.839
called the Samaritans once. Actually, oh yeah, they were engaged.

331
00:25:35.039 --> 00:25:35.480
That's it.

332
00:25:35.680 --> 00:25:38.000
That's why I phoned phone once and they were engaged,

333
00:25:38.880 --> 00:25:42.680
which was just is weird and it the one time.

334
00:25:45.119 --> 00:25:51.039
But it's an amazing it's an amazing service. I didn't

335
00:25:51.079 --> 00:25:54.480
realize that some people phoned up. There's there's two I

336
00:25:54.519 --> 00:25:58.759
think probably two times. You could say three times. Three

337
00:25:58.920 --> 00:26:03.960
types of time wasters. But the Samaritans don't class it

338
00:26:04.000 --> 00:26:08.480
as time wasters because if they start putting adverts on

339
00:26:08.559 --> 00:26:13.920
TV saying only call if it's serious, only call, don't wait,

340
00:26:14.000 --> 00:26:17.960
you know, it would be so negative that a lot

341
00:26:17.960 --> 00:26:21.160
of people wouldn't phone up, thinking that they didn't need

342
00:26:21.200 --> 00:26:24.920
to and that phone call could be it could be

343
00:26:25.000 --> 00:26:28.319
life saving for that person. They might not even realize

344
00:26:28.400 --> 00:26:32.519
how much they needed to talk to someone, because some

345
00:26:32.599 --> 00:26:36.960
people have the need to have a conversation with a

346
00:26:37.039 --> 00:26:37.880
human being.

347
00:26:39.960 --> 00:26:42.680
So or to feel that kind of communication, that.

348
00:26:45.440 --> 00:26:52.599
Connection, I guess, and I suppose also if you're living,

349
00:26:52.720 --> 00:26:57.079
it's almost living on their own, and things become normalized,

350
00:26:57.119 --> 00:27:01.160
don't they. So to have I've had that a little

351
00:27:01.160 --> 00:27:05.720
bit in the past where someone's found out what I'm

352
00:27:05.799 --> 00:27:10.680
doing and they're like, no, that's not normal. You know,

353
00:27:10.680 --> 00:27:16.400
that's not normal behavior. And I didn't realize. Now you're

354
00:27:16.400 --> 00:27:19.759
probably wondering what I'm talking about right now. It's nothing horrible.

355
00:27:20.359 --> 00:27:24.279
It's just I'm not going to tell you what it was.

356
00:27:25.039 --> 00:27:36.480
But the psychiatrist said, no, that's that's weird. I said, okay, okay.

357
00:27:36.599 --> 00:27:45.200
Apparently sticking if you put if you kneel down and

358
00:27:45.240 --> 00:27:49.039
put shoes on your knees to pretend to be really

359
00:27:49.079 --> 00:27:53.200
short and walk around, there's a thing you do that,

360
00:27:53.279 --> 00:27:55.079
but apparently it's weird if you do it around your

361
00:27:55.079 --> 00:27:59.799
house on your own, there's no one else around, it's and.

362
00:27:59.759 --> 00:28:01.920
Like just do that all the time. Apparently it's a

363
00:28:01.960 --> 00:28:07.759
strange thing to do. Yeah, okay, so there's three types

364
00:28:07.799 --> 00:28:15.880
of people that perhaps don't use the Samaritans in the

365
00:28:15.920 --> 00:28:18.319
best way potentially.

366
00:28:18.759 --> 00:28:22.640
But again I've always got a caveat for these. I've

367
00:28:22.640 --> 00:28:27.079
always got like a a defense for the people doing

368
00:28:27.119 --> 00:28:34.839
it sometimes. So one is they phone up to they

369
00:28:34.920 --> 00:28:39.359
use it as some kind of horny chat line. I

370
00:28:39.359 --> 00:28:41.359
think that's a that's a nice way of saying it,

371
00:28:42.720 --> 00:28:46.559
you know, one of those premium number chat lines. Some

372
00:28:46.640 --> 00:28:47.640
people use it like that.

373
00:28:51.160 --> 00:28:54.759
I know it's I was quite surprised at that, and

374
00:28:55.440 --> 00:28:57.000
I didn't think they could hear what I was doing.

375
00:28:59.759 --> 00:29:06.559
And then there's people that I guess.

376
00:29:07.640 --> 00:29:11.960
Are just sort of wind up, you know, they just

377
00:29:12.000 --> 00:29:14.160
sort of wind up. They just like I think it's

378
00:29:14.160 --> 00:29:16.920
funny just to mess around with people. There's always going

379
00:29:16.960 --> 00:29:23.799
to be those types around. And then there's the I

380
00:29:23.839 --> 00:29:26.680
suppose that they said they get some people that phone

381
00:29:26.880 --> 00:29:33.519
every single day and maybe they feel this, I don't know,

382
00:29:33.880 --> 00:29:36.279
they don't necessarily feel they're helping that person, but they

383
00:29:36.279 --> 00:29:41.240
don't know they might really be helping them. Yeah, they

384
00:29:41.359 --> 00:29:43.759
get on first name turns with some people that literally

385
00:29:43.799 --> 00:29:46.240
call up every single day, and if that's what they

386
00:29:46.279 --> 00:29:50.319
need then do it because that's what they're there for.

387
00:29:50.440 --> 00:29:57.920
They're there, it's a free service. And the way I say,

388
00:29:57.920 --> 00:30:03.920
I'm going from a different perspective. If I remember someone

389
00:30:04.079 --> 00:30:08.160
saying when I was doing the counseling training, someone said,

390
00:30:09.480 --> 00:30:14.400
there's whole theory about well, if someone comes in and

391
00:30:14.519 --> 00:30:18.559
just talks about it, talks absolutely rubbish for fifty minutes,

392
00:30:19.599 --> 00:30:22.000
a little bit like me now, really, but they come

393
00:30:22.000 --> 00:30:24.519
in and you know that, you know why they're come in.

394
00:30:25.319 --> 00:30:30.640
You already they've already had a phone conversation with the

395
00:30:30.680 --> 00:30:33.319
counseling service to find out what's going on with them

396
00:30:33.839 --> 00:30:37.680
and the reason why they have applied for counseling or

397
00:30:37.720 --> 00:30:40.279
the reason they're being sent by the doctor the counseling

398
00:30:43.240 --> 00:30:45.559
We're not going to have a full information, but it's

399
00:30:45.599 --> 00:30:50.599
going to have at least an idea. So let's say

400
00:30:50.839 --> 00:30:56.359
they're in there because I don't know for whatever thing,

401
00:30:56.599 --> 00:31:00.720
but maybe it's yeah, I can't think of anything that

402
00:31:00.920 --> 00:31:05.279
isn't problematic. But but then they come in and they

403
00:31:05.359 --> 00:31:11.119
end up talking about basketball or football, or they talk

404
00:31:11.160 --> 00:31:15.480
about UFOs, or they talk about dinosaurs for fifty minutes,

405
00:31:17.440 --> 00:31:20.319
or they come in and they just make stuff up

406
00:31:20.799 --> 00:31:27.319
blatantly just make stuff up. Now, this seemed to frustrate

407
00:31:27.440 --> 00:31:31.759
some of the other counselors, and I've read books and

408
00:31:31.799 --> 00:31:34.799
stuff as well on it, and some people get upset

409
00:31:34.839 --> 00:31:35.039
with it.

410
00:31:35.160 --> 00:31:36.519
Say, you know, some.

411
00:31:36.680 --> 00:31:39.640
Counseling books will say, well, you've got to bring them

412
00:31:39.680 --> 00:31:42.359
back to why they're there, You've got to get them

413
00:31:42.759 --> 00:31:52.039
focused on all that stuff, which I do understand. But

414
00:31:52.119 --> 00:31:58.160
I kind of figured out that actually, sometimes people need

415
00:31:58.200 --> 00:32:03.720
to use I suppose they can still be gaining benefit

416
00:32:04.240 --> 00:32:07.359
from talking to someone, even if it is it's got

417
00:32:07.400 --> 00:32:14.960
nothing to do with why they're there, maybe just that

418
00:32:15.799 --> 00:32:21.720
human human interaction, maybe sitting in a room with someone

419
00:32:21.799 --> 00:32:32.839
that is listening. And what I've noticed that in most cases,

420
00:32:32.880 --> 00:32:37.680
I mean it's going back a while now, they'd start

421
00:32:37.759 --> 00:32:47.000
talking about why they're there. Not always, but you know,

422
00:32:47.160 --> 00:32:58.160
something quite often, And I found that interesting that actually,

423
00:32:59.119 --> 00:33:03.680
I suppose you could say some people use metaphors stories.

424
00:33:04.519 --> 00:33:07.000
So maybe the given example, it's a little bit like

425
00:33:07.119 --> 00:33:10.640
say I need advice for a friend, and you pretty

426
00:33:10.680 --> 00:33:12.920
much always know that the person is talking about theirselves,

427
00:33:12.960 --> 00:33:15.400
don't you. So you know, if someone comes up to you,

428
00:33:15.559 --> 00:33:17.880
if it's someone you know that, or I need some

429
00:33:17.920 --> 00:33:25.599
advice for a friend, and he's thinking about getting an

430
00:33:25.759 --> 00:33:30.599
enlargement procedure, but he's not sure because he's seeing it

431
00:33:30.640 --> 00:33:32.799
on TV and he doesn't know whetheryone or it'd be

432
00:33:32.839 --> 00:33:38.480
safe if we're about getting a pump. But he didn't

433
00:33:38.519 --> 00:33:41.519
get it in the end, and he hasn't got a

434
00:33:41.519 --> 00:33:44.359
lot of money because you know, he's on benefits at

435
00:33:44.359 --> 00:33:45.119
the moment.

436
00:33:44.839 --> 00:33:49.319
And he's he's it's quite expensive, especially looking after his

437
00:33:49.359 --> 00:33:53.160
little dog, Vinnie. You know, if you make a mistake

438
00:33:53.200 --> 00:33:59.319
and if you give too much information away. But I

439
00:33:59.359 --> 00:34:03.799
think sometimes that's useful for counselors or for clients or

440
00:34:03.839 --> 00:34:10.920
other patients to do it in their own way. And

441
00:34:10.960 --> 00:34:13.440
I think, I guess that's what I'm saying with Samaritans.

442
00:34:14.119 --> 00:34:18.079
Sometimes if someone's just they're not even talking about their

443
00:34:18.119 --> 00:34:24.360
own life, it might help them sort out.

444
00:34:25.599 --> 00:34:30.519
Certain blockages in their mind or in their energies or whatever.

445
00:34:32.559 --> 00:34:36.440
I don't know blockages in their energies what you're talking about, Jay,

446
00:34:38.400 --> 00:34:39.760
I'm not one hundred percent sure.

447
00:34:41.079 --> 00:34:43.159
Yeah, I'll make it. I make most of what I

448
00:34:43.199 --> 00:34:48.199
say up. The video is about twelve inches away from

449
00:34:48.199 --> 00:34:54.679
the fly. He's staring at it. He wants it badly,

450
00:34:56.519 --> 00:34:57.360
so he's rested his.

451
00:34:59.119 --> 00:35:02.360
He was rested his chin on my left leg, and

452
00:35:02.400 --> 00:35:07.239
the fly was on my right leg, and he was

453
00:35:08.000 --> 00:35:10.239
I guess he was thinking, do dogs think?

454
00:35:11.559 --> 00:35:12.320
I don't know.

455
00:35:14.400 --> 00:35:16.360
I found a new technique, by the way, to stop

456
00:35:16.679 --> 00:35:21.719
internal dialogue, to turn it off. It's not really a

457
00:35:21.760 --> 00:35:25.280
new way, but it's a new way for me focus

458
00:35:25.320 --> 00:35:33.119
on the wind or the breeze. Because I noticed always

459
00:35:33.159 --> 00:35:36.599
noticing new things about myself, and then sometimes I forget

460
00:35:36.639 --> 00:35:39.519
about the thing I've noticed, and then I noticed it

461
00:35:39.559 --> 00:35:42.639
again a few years later, and then I forget about

462
00:35:42.679 --> 00:35:46.719
it again, and then I noticed it again. Something that

463
00:35:46.760 --> 00:35:53.559
I've got a habit of doing is so if something happened.

464
00:35:53.760 --> 00:35:58.199
If something happens, it can be just the most simple thing,

465
00:36:00.559 --> 00:36:04.280
an interaction or a non interaction, or if someone with

466
00:36:04.360 --> 00:36:10.039
a dog they say something rude, which happens occasionally, Villy

467
00:36:10.119 --> 00:36:12.679
barks and maybe they don't like the fact that.

468
00:36:12.599 --> 00:36:18.599
He's barking at their dog. And then I start thinking

469
00:36:18.599 --> 00:36:20.639
of all the different conversations I could have had with

470
00:36:20.679 --> 00:36:28.639
that person, how it could have gone. And I can

471
00:36:28.679 --> 00:36:32.719
go on for ages and then maybe I'll see them again,

472
00:36:33.079 --> 00:36:37.719
and I'll kind of keep my distance and I start

473
00:36:37.719 --> 00:36:40.960
imaging all the different scenarios and conversations I might have

474
00:36:41.079 --> 00:36:44.199
with them if I did see them, and it's weird,

475
00:36:44.239 --> 00:36:49.960
and I thought, you know what, I'll focus on the wind,

476
00:36:51.079 --> 00:36:54.719
the wind outside my pants, you know, in the air.

477
00:36:58.840 --> 00:37:00.360
He switches it off into to me.

478
00:37:07.320 --> 00:37:14.679
I sometimes I feel that I'm rehearsing, practicing, rehearsing what

479
00:37:14.719 --> 00:37:17.559
I'm going to say, you know, And I'm going to

480
00:37:17.599 --> 00:37:22.880
go out with Vin in a few hours, and I

481
00:37:23.000 --> 00:37:26.159
kind of know roughly who I'm going to see, what

482
00:37:26.280 --> 00:37:30.119
dogs are going to be there. And I realized sometimes

483
00:37:30.159 --> 00:37:34.679
I kind of rehearse things that I'm going to say

484
00:37:34.719 --> 00:37:38.719
to these people. And it's weird because I don't rehearse

485
00:37:38.760 --> 00:37:42.199
anything I'm going to say here. I don't really think

486
00:37:42.239 --> 00:37:44.519
about what I'm going to say until I start doing

487
00:37:44.519 --> 00:37:51.159
a recording, unless it's like a specific recording where I

488
00:37:51.280 --> 00:37:54.440
might have a little bit of information in front of

489
00:37:54.480 --> 00:37:56.760
me and stuff, but not to let me pull you

490
00:37:56.840 --> 00:37:58.840
to sleeps.

491
00:38:00.199 --> 00:38:04.480
But when I'm dealing with a human, I kind of.

492
00:38:08.639 --> 00:38:12.000
It's almost like, actually, I think sometimes I just say

493
00:38:12.039 --> 00:38:15.480
the same thing to everyone, or it's hot today in

494
00:38:15.519 --> 00:38:22.280
it all, when there's one I was thing saying I

495
00:38:22.320 --> 00:38:26.119
was walking around after him after Vinnie and I had

496
00:38:26.159 --> 00:38:30.960
the Pooh bag on my hand. I was walking around

497
00:38:31.000 --> 00:38:34.320
and he literally took me on a It took me

498
00:38:34.360 --> 00:38:37.519
on a very long walk. So I saw about three

499
00:38:37.559 --> 00:38:41.480
different dog walkers during that journey of me just following

500
00:38:41.559 --> 00:38:44.840
him around the field finding somewhere to do a nice,

501
00:38:45.000 --> 00:38:49.280
big smelly one so I could pick it up. So

502
00:38:49.320 --> 00:38:53.639
I'm walking with him, walking behind him with this Pooh

503
00:38:53.639 --> 00:39:00.480
bag on my hand ready to use, and I thought

504
00:39:00.519 --> 00:39:04.679
to myself, I must look like the world's worst ventiloquist.

505
00:39:07.079 --> 00:39:10.679
You know, it's just because Pooh bag on my head.

506
00:39:11.639 --> 00:39:13.400
So the next person I see, I say it to them,

507
00:39:15.199 --> 00:39:16.599
and then I say it to the next person. I

508
00:39:16.599 --> 00:39:18.880
say it three different people. I said, I must look

509
00:39:18.920 --> 00:39:21.000
like the worst world's worst ventiloquist.

510
00:39:22.920 --> 00:39:26.199
I just like I thought it's funny. So I think

511
00:39:26.199 --> 00:39:29.039
they did laugh. I'm not sure. I can't remember.

512
00:39:29.880 --> 00:39:31.719
I really don't want to be one of them people

513
00:39:31.760 --> 00:39:39.559
that that is out of touch with reality. That worries

514
00:39:39.599 --> 00:39:41.400
me a little bit. I'm not saying I'm in touch

515
00:39:41.400 --> 00:39:42.320
with reality, but.

516
00:39:46.079 --> 00:39:46.800
I don't want to.

517
00:39:46.960 --> 00:39:50.000
I don't want to be talking at people and not

518
00:39:50.159 --> 00:39:53.480
realizing that they don't want me to be, because I

519
00:39:53.480 --> 00:39:59.599
have been that person, and I have to be very careful.

520
00:39:59.639 --> 00:40:06.000
I don't do that because you know, conversation has to

521
00:40:06.039 --> 00:40:15.679
be two ways. But I've got my little special in

522
00:40:16.360 --> 00:40:17.519
my little interests.

523
00:40:19.800 --> 00:40:25.800
So I've got a tendency of h of making weird

524
00:40:25.840 --> 00:40:28.800
noises with my throat, which I want to just add

525
00:40:28.800 --> 00:40:29.480
some water.

526
00:40:31.559 --> 00:40:35.639
I've got. I don't know, I just.

527
00:40:39.760 --> 00:40:42.599
I think sometimes I'm just a bit too self aware.

528
00:40:45.159 --> 00:40:49.559
It's almost like, oh, I just found something in my

529
00:40:49.639 --> 00:40:50.199
belly bun.

530
00:40:51.599 --> 00:40:52.079
What is that?

531
00:40:55.920 --> 00:41:03.599
Uh, it's a bit of chocolate. It's not, it's not

532
00:41:03.639 --> 00:41:08.599
really it's a Mars bar. No, it's not. I'm constantly

533
00:41:08.760 --> 00:41:15.320
studying myself and I don't really know how useful that is,

534
00:41:15.440 --> 00:41:25.079
to be honest, but I seem to be observing what

535
00:41:25.199 --> 00:41:31.079
I'm doing, what I'm thinking, how I'm talking, in my behavior,

536
00:41:33.880 --> 00:41:36.280
the things that I want to say and don't say,

537
00:41:36.440 --> 00:41:38.800
the things that I do say and don't want to say.

538
00:41:43.920 --> 00:41:47.559
Yeah, it's weird. It's kind of weird. Perhaps a little

539
00:41:47.599 --> 00:41:55.199
bit too self conscious, perhaps.

540
00:41:54.559 --> 00:42:05.920
Hm hmm, perhaps just a really big egotist. But it's not.

541
00:42:06.159 --> 00:42:10.119
I don't think it's really in that way because I

542
00:42:10.280 --> 00:42:13.639
like to be in control of me, but I don't

543
00:42:13.679 --> 00:42:14.880
want to be in control.

544
00:42:14.559 --> 00:42:18.280
Of other people. So that's that's a big difference.

545
00:42:18.360 --> 00:42:22.519
I think I do like to have control over my environment,

546
00:42:24.000 --> 00:42:26.000
but I know that I can only do that in

547
00:42:26.119 --> 00:42:29.400
my environment, which is in this home, this flat, and

548
00:42:29.480 --> 00:42:34.880
even then there's limitations because I've got a very stubborn

549
00:42:35.239 --> 00:42:40.639
little doggie here, and I've also got people around here

550
00:42:40.679 --> 00:42:44.719
that are antisocial, that live outside and live in the

551
00:42:44.760 --> 00:42:46.679
other places, so I can't control them.

552
00:42:47.079 --> 00:42:48.360
I can't control.

553
00:42:48.079 --> 00:42:54.360
Him, but I've got, you know, a general control of

554
00:42:54.400 --> 00:42:57.840
the environment to a degree.

555
00:42:58.480 --> 00:43:04.679
When I go out that changes a little bit. I've

556
00:43:04.719 --> 00:43:08.760
noticed that the last week, getting on buses, getting in taxis,

557
00:43:11.800 --> 00:43:18.480
asking people for lifts. It's been, Yeah, it's been challenging.

558
00:43:20.000 --> 00:43:21.719
And there was someone on the bus the other day

559
00:43:21.760 --> 00:43:24.480
that was listening to I think he was watching a

560
00:43:24.480 --> 00:43:26.320
YouTube video on his phone.

561
00:43:26.840 --> 00:43:30.079
It was very loud, and.

562
00:43:32.159 --> 00:43:34.599
Again I might have been reading the signals wrong, but

563
00:43:34.639 --> 00:43:36.679
it looked to me like he was doing it because

564
00:43:36.679 --> 00:43:38.360
he wanted someone to say something.

565
00:43:39.519 --> 00:43:42.360
You know, he was being antisocial and he was just

566
00:43:43.920 --> 00:43:50.440
almost egging, egging the passion passengers to say something so

567
00:43:50.480 --> 00:43:54.400
that he could I don't know what do what. I

568
00:43:54.440 --> 00:43:54.880
don't know.

569
00:43:55.679 --> 00:43:58.039
It wouldn't have ended well for him, but it would

570
00:43:58.199 --> 00:44:00.920
I don't know what he wanted out of it.

571
00:44:00.960 --> 00:44:03.000
In the end, the bus driver just showered at him.

572
00:44:03.239 --> 00:44:05.559
He turned it down, and he did.

573
00:44:07.320 --> 00:44:09.079
He still had on a little bit, but he was

574
00:44:09.199 --> 00:44:14.440
really like he was looking for trouble, and you trouble.

575
00:44:14.719 --> 00:44:19.599
You were in the red blush. I cannot I can

576
00:44:19.760 --> 00:44:20.519
relate to that.

577
00:44:21.000 --> 00:44:23.320
I was a little bit like that in my early twenties,

578
00:44:25.440 --> 00:44:28.119
but this bloke was in his at least in his thirties,

579
00:44:28.360 --> 00:44:33.599
maybe forties, so it was a little bit. Yeah, and

580
00:44:33.679 --> 00:44:35.719
it was it's not good to be like that at

581
00:44:35.760 --> 00:44:39.199
any age. But I suppose it's always a little phase

582
00:44:40.880 --> 00:44:46.679
because he's going through a little phase. Nice little phase. Oh, oh,

583
00:44:47.039 --> 00:44:48.119
he's going through phase.

584
00:44:49.000 --> 00:44:52.480
He's got his he's got his ra his radio thing.

585
00:44:53.320 --> 00:44:56.239
He's it's a phone, well, his phone. He's got his

586
00:44:56.320 --> 00:45:00.559
phone on really loud. He's watching one of those movies things.

587
00:45:00.679 --> 00:45:04.800
It's YouTube. He's watching a YouTube movie. It's a video.

588
00:45:05.119 --> 00:45:09.320
He's watching a YouTube video on his radio his phone,

589
00:45:09.800 --> 00:45:14.679
on his phone. Oh, and it's really loud. He's going

590
00:45:14.679 --> 00:45:15.400
through a phase.

591
00:45:16.000 --> 00:45:16.840
It's a phase.

592
00:45:18.199 --> 00:45:21.719
Oh, everyone, come on, let's give him a hark and

593
00:45:21.760 --> 00:45:29.880
pushing him off the bus. So yeah, bless him. A

594
00:45:29.960 --> 00:45:35.960
weird thing happened to A weird thing happened my neighbor.

595
00:45:36.400 --> 00:45:40.280
Actually, it got into kind of an argument with someone

596
00:45:40.320 --> 00:45:42.599
on one of the wards he was on, because he's

597
00:45:42.639 --> 00:45:47.719
now on a third ward since he's been there, and

598
00:45:47.760 --> 00:45:52.400
the second ward he was on, they some bloke was

599
00:45:52.440 --> 00:45:55.039
complaining about him being too.

600
00:45:54.920 --> 00:46:01.320
Noisy, and yeah, he was being a bit aggressive and stuff,

601
00:46:01.440 --> 00:46:10.159
and they ended up moving my neighbor, keeping that bloke there,

602
00:46:10.199 --> 00:46:11.239
but moving my neighbor.

603
00:46:12.440 --> 00:46:15.679
So I've only got one side of the story. There's

604
00:46:15.719 --> 00:46:17.880
there's the old sailor, isn't that You know, there's three

605
00:46:17.920 --> 00:46:20.639
sides to a story, the two sides and then the truth,

606
00:46:21.679 --> 00:46:22.760
you know, both sides.

607
00:46:22.559 --> 00:46:29.079
Then the truth. So who knows what exactly occurred.

608
00:46:30.159 --> 00:46:32.239
But I did say to my neighbor and I thought

609
00:46:32.239 --> 00:46:35.119
this was funny. Actually, I said to him because he

610
00:46:35.159 --> 00:46:38.079
told me on the phone. I said, well, because.

611
00:46:37.880 --> 00:46:40.000
He'd been moved to a new warden act to try

612
00:46:40.039 --> 00:46:41.000
and find out where it was.

613
00:46:41.719 --> 00:46:43.559
I said, well, you know when we go out for

614
00:46:43.800 --> 00:46:47.320
a walk, because I take him out for a sit

615
00:46:47.400 --> 00:46:52.480
down in the because in front of the hospital.

616
00:46:52.079 --> 00:46:57.000
There's all these chairs and stuff like that. You can

617
00:46:57.079 --> 00:46:59.599
sit down, there's a duck pond. It's very nice.

618
00:46:59.639 --> 00:47:04.960
That's it, actually, you know, especially in this weather. And

619
00:47:05.000 --> 00:47:06.840
I said to him, when we go out, perhaps we'll

620
00:47:06.840 --> 00:47:09.199
make a little visit to that bloke, go back and

621
00:47:09.199 --> 00:47:13.039
have it all, make a little visit, perhaps punch him

622
00:47:13.119 --> 00:47:18.000
or something. I was joking, okay, so I was go

623
00:47:18.119 --> 00:47:19.800
and see him. We go out for a walk that

624
00:47:19.880 --> 00:47:21.440
day and he said on the way back, said A

625
00:47:21.440 --> 00:47:25.159
were going to go and visit that bloke. Then I said,

626
00:47:25.599 --> 00:47:31.079
I said, no, every I said, like, look, every everyone's

627
00:47:31.119 --> 00:47:32.639
in here because they're run well.

628
00:47:33.039 --> 00:47:35.159
No one's in there for a jolly. They're not in

629
00:47:35.199 --> 00:47:38.079
there for fun, apart from well even that, even the

630
00:47:38.159 --> 00:47:40.159
nurses and doctors are not in there for fun, are they.

631
00:47:40.239 --> 00:47:48.719
But different people deal with with being unwell differently, and

632
00:47:48.760 --> 00:47:51.679
perhaps his way of dealing with it is by being

633
00:47:51.719 --> 00:47:56.639
annoyed by you, well, you know, by what's going on.

634
00:47:58.639 --> 00:48:02.440
And he was he was cool. I don't I'm not

635
00:48:02.480 --> 00:48:04.159
sure if he really I don't know if he was

636
00:48:04.239 --> 00:48:06.400
just joking or not when he said that to me,

637
00:48:06.760 --> 00:48:10.639
Should we go and see him now? But I think

638
00:48:10.679 --> 00:48:13.440
twenty years ago I think he would have well that

639
00:48:13.760 --> 00:48:17.719
that would have had a different outcome. Becau's a bit fiery,

640
00:48:18.239 --> 00:48:22.800
but he's you know, he's pretty old now, maybe thirty

641
00:48:22.880 --> 00:48:28.440
years ago. So my that bloke would probably be a

642
00:48:28.440 --> 00:48:31.039
baby now, or he'd be he'd only be about ten

643
00:48:31.920 --> 00:48:34.280
so the other block, so that probably wouldn't have been

644
00:48:34.280 --> 00:48:39.679
too good. I don't know old he was mabe forties, fifties,

645
00:48:40.039 --> 00:48:40.440
I don't know.

646
00:48:42.199 --> 00:48:45.840
Anyway, I find my dad up just to sort of

647
00:48:45.880 --> 00:48:48.199
see how he's getting on with his treatments. He's in

648
00:48:48.239 --> 00:48:52.320
treatment now, started last week for four weeks. It's going

649
00:48:52.360 --> 00:48:57.559
to be And I told him I've thought it was

650
00:48:57.559 --> 00:49:01.039
a funny story that you know my neighbor, you know,

651
00:49:01.119 --> 00:49:02.400
the fact that he said or she would go and

652
00:49:02.440 --> 00:49:03.400
see him.

653
00:49:03.719 --> 00:49:04.320
I thought that was.

654
00:49:04.360 --> 00:49:08.800
Quite quite amusing. I told my dad and he was like,

655
00:49:08.920 --> 00:49:10.920
we can't do that. Get kicked out of the wall,

656
00:49:10.960 --> 00:49:15.880
do you get arrested on? Like my reaction was, well,

657
00:49:15.920 --> 00:49:19.000
I do what I want to do firstly, and tell

658
00:49:19.000 --> 00:49:20.800
me what I can do, but of course I'm not

659
00:49:20.840 --> 00:49:24.400
going to do it. Like it was so ridiculous. I

660
00:49:24.519 --> 00:49:29.440
just it was, I don't know it it turned a

661
00:49:29.519 --> 00:49:34.199
nice conversation into just awkwardness for no reason on the

662
00:49:34.239 --> 00:49:37.320
phone with my dad, like why, and his wife was

663
00:49:37.360 --> 00:49:40.239
there saying the same things, all but you're get in trouble.

664
00:49:40.280 --> 00:49:43.519
You won't be allowed back in the hospital. Like I

665
00:49:43.519 --> 00:49:45.239
didn't say I was going to actually do it.

666
00:49:46.360 --> 00:49:47.960
You really felt I'm going to walk up soil in

667
00:49:47.960 --> 00:49:54.079
the hospital bed and start, you know, being naughty, aggressive,

668
00:49:54.119 --> 00:49:54.840
And of course I'm not.

669
00:49:56.360 --> 00:50:03.920
I don't know what they think of me. Honestly, it's

670
00:50:05.639 --> 00:50:07.760
I got that off my chest. Now I'll move on.

671
00:50:08.239 --> 00:50:09.480
How is it really annoyed me?

672
00:50:10.679 --> 00:50:10.880
Ah?

673
00:50:12.800 --> 00:50:15.719
It's weird though, because my dad started treatment on Wednesday,

674
00:50:16.440 --> 00:50:21.800
and I spoke to him on the Tuesday. I didn't

675
00:50:21.800 --> 00:50:23.719
know was having be He had just been on holiday,

676
00:50:24.079 --> 00:50:25.360
just to see how his holiday was.

677
00:50:25.320 --> 00:50:28.719
And when his treatment starts. Oh, it starts tomorrow.

678
00:50:29.400 --> 00:50:31.000
I said, well, I was going to say to you,

679
00:50:31.400 --> 00:50:34.559
which I thought about for quite a while, is going

680
00:50:34.679 --> 00:50:39.079
up to the hospital with him on the first day

681
00:50:39.079 --> 00:50:41.599
of his treatment, just to be a bit of emotional support.

682
00:50:42.280 --> 00:50:43.719
I know his wife's going to be there, but.

683
00:50:43.679 --> 00:50:45.920
It thought it'd just be a nice thing, and he

684
00:50:46.000 --> 00:50:48.760
said no, I said, for he'd just have a cup

685
00:50:48.800 --> 00:50:49.159
of coffee.

686
00:50:49.159 --> 00:50:52.679
I'm not gonowed to drink coffee. It was really negative

687
00:50:52.760 --> 00:50:59.920
towards me, like, okay, I just thought maybe it'd be no,

688
00:51:00.719 --> 00:51:02.320
And it just seemed weird that.

689
00:51:04.440 --> 00:51:07.440
My neighbor wants me to visit, he wants me to

690
00:51:07.800 --> 00:51:10.360
be there with him, but my own dad doesn't.

691
00:51:11.559 --> 00:51:11.760
I know.

692
00:51:11.840 --> 00:51:14.079
It was only it was a hospital visit and it

693
00:51:14.119 --> 00:51:17.639
was to have treatment. But I just thought it'd be

694
00:51:17.679 --> 00:51:19.960
a nice thing to do, just to be there for

695
00:51:20.079 --> 00:51:29.039
him in a time of need, maybe rather than just

696
00:51:29.039 --> 00:51:31.760
just I don't know. I don't know what I was thinking.

697
00:51:31.800 --> 00:51:35.639
Really. I thought maybe it'd be a nice thing. But

698
00:51:37.239 --> 00:51:45.239
it's strange, very strange. But yeah, he definitely didn't want

699
00:51:45.280 --> 00:51:48.760
me visiting. He said he didn't want me visiting or

700
00:51:48.840 --> 00:51:52.599
not visiting. He didn't want me to go there. I said, well,

701
00:51:53.039 --> 00:51:55.199
I could just see you, give you a hug before

702
00:51:55.199 --> 00:51:58.559
you go in or no, it's right, just didn't don't

703
00:51:58.559 --> 00:52:03.960
want me. Yes, some bloke that i've a neighbor I've

704
00:52:04.000 --> 00:52:09.800
known for ten years is asking me when I'm going

705
00:52:09.840 --> 00:52:13.840
to go up next, phone me up. You know, as

706
00:52:13.880 --> 00:52:15.880
well as being seeing them every day, I'm speaking to

707
00:52:15.880 --> 00:52:18.880
you on the phone probably twice one in the morning

708
00:52:18.920 --> 00:52:25.519
before I go, and then one in the evening. It

709
00:52:25.559 --> 00:52:28.880
seems to be strange. I had this weird relationship with family.

710
00:52:29.199 --> 00:52:32.400
I seem to be more appreciated by strangers than by

711
00:52:32.480 --> 00:52:36.880
people that actually know me or think. I think I'm

712
00:52:36.920 --> 00:52:41.920
just known. I think I'm the real me is known

713
00:52:41.960 --> 00:52:47.239
better by people that don't know me. I don't know

714
00:52:47.239 --> 00:52:51.559
if that makes sense. Family don't know.

715
00:52:51.559 --> 00:52:56.679
Me, they don't know me the real me, and I

716
00:52:56.719 --> 00:53:02.199
think neighbors I've got to see the real me.

717
00:53:04.199 --> 00:53:09.360
People that I've helped, And so I think if you

718
00:53:09.400 --> 00:53:14.559
help people for no reason, they get to see it's

719
00:53:14.599 --> 00:53:17.480
not the reason to do it for me, but they

720
00:53:17.519 --> 00:53:24.119
get to realize that. Oh, because I think for some

721
00:53:24.199 --> 00:53:28.760
people it's quite an unusual situation to give without expecting

722
00:53:28.800 --> 00:53:32.440
anything back. I mean, I've got help this week from

723
00:53:32.480 --> 00:53:38.960
people that want something back. Then I've got you know, So,

724
00:53:39.199 --> 00:53:43.920
I've had lifts. I've had three lifts this week. Turn

725
00:53:43.960 --> 00:53:48.679
them by someone that gets paid to take me. The

726
00:53:48.760 --> 00:53:54.159
other one was by someone they didn't want anything, So

727
00:53:54.199 --> 00:53:58.599
it's kind of I offered the money to both. One

728
00:53:58.639 --> 00:54:05.760
said no, the other person said yes, and one went

729
00:54:05.800 --> 00:54:08.199
out of their way to take me and the other one,

730
00:54:09.360 --> 00:54:11.280
and he took me because it was going where they.

731
00:54:11.159 --> 00:54:18.400
Were going anyway, So it is that's the person that

732
00:54:18.480 --> 00:54:19.599
went out of their way to take me.

733
00:54:19.599 --> 00:54:20.960
It was the one they didn't want any money.

734
00:54:21.440 --> 00:54:24.199
It's kind of just a weird if they're both helping,

735
00:54:24.880 --> 00:54:28.440
and I was grateful for both. But it's just a different,

736
00:54:30.480 --> 00:54:33.920
different way of thinking. And I quite like that because

737
00:54:33.960 --> 00:54:41.719
that's the way I think is. I don't know, that

738
00:54:41.920 --> 00:54:49.880
just feels right, you know, helping someone feels right, It

739
00:54:50.000 --> 00:54:54.679
just feels nice. So technically, I suppose it could just

740
00:54:54.719 --> 00:55:01.960
be unselfish. I'm just just making myself feel nice by

741
00:55:03.000 --> 00:55:05.000
helping the neighbors and doing stuff.

742
00:55:05.840 --> 00:55:08.199
Maybe that's all it is. And to me, that's a

743
00:55:08.239 --> 00:55:14.320
win win because if I get to feel good and

744
00:55:14.400 --> 00:55:17.280
they feel the benefit as well, then that's a win

745
00:55:17.400 --> 00:55:24.440
win all around, I suppose. And I imagine my neighbor

746
00:55:24.639 --> 00:55:29.679
that gave me a lift, that didn't want anything, felt

747
00:55:29.679 --> 00:55:34.159
good for helping me. And he's only a young lad,

748
00:55:34.199 --> 00:55:39.360
he's only like twenty twenty one something like that, and

749
00:55:39.400 --> 00:55:45.119
I was lovely such a you know, he potentially hear

750
00:55:45.159 --> 00:55:48.400
the dogs in the back ground, He potentially made himself

751
00:55:48.440 --> 00:55:53.119
late for work, so I said to him, Look, can

752
00:55:53.199 --> 00:55:56.400
you hear that? Dude? I just swear then, didn't I?

753
00:55:56.400 --> 00:56:01.679
I just said a naughty word, bloody dot. I can't

754
00:56:01.719 --> 00:56:03.920
moan about dogs because he does the same, this one

755
00:56:04.880 --> 00:56:10.079
except him, he's like, he screeches is so high pitched

756
00:56:11.519 --> 00:56:16.079
it rattles the windows, rattles the windows of mes Sole.

757
00:56:23.800 --> 00:56:26.480
So it's been a weird week. It's been a weird,

758
00:56:26.719 --> 00:56:39.880
weird week. It seems to have lasted. Really. The dog

759
00:56:39.960 --> 00:56:43.400
doesn't doesn't onally bark quite so much. It's probably a

760
00:56:43.440 --> 00:56:47.000
cat in the garden or the kid. Maybe the kid

761
00:56:47.000 --> 00:56:52.039
out there just playing with it. Of his tail's going now,

762
00:56:52.079 --> 00:56:57.880
so he's hearing. He's hearing the dog. Did your tail disco? Vinnie?

763
00:56:58.880 --> 00:57:09.920
Are you excited about it here with the doggie? He excited. Yeah.

764
00:57:10.360 --> 00:57:19.320
The week feels like it's lasted a long time. It

765
00:57:19.440 --> 00:57:22.440
doesn't really feel as if it's gone. It's gone quickly

766
00:57:22.840 --> 00:57:27.920
at all. That might be partly because I've got a

767
00:57:27.960 --> 00:57:34.199
lot done. I know, I haven't made loads of recordings,

768
00:57:34.239 --> 00:57:47.320
but I've done a few, and I've done a lot

769
00:57:47.360 --> 00:57:52.639
of traveling, a lot of traveling. And I worked it

770
00:57:52.639 --> 00:57:57.000
out the other day with yesterday that I think I've

771
00:57:57.039 --> 00:58:08.960
been out more in the last nine days, like probably

772
00:58:09.079 --> 00:58:14.960
than I have done the last two years, maybe three years,

773
00:58:17.280 --> 00:58:29.280
maybe two years. Actually leave in the area that I live. Yes,

774
00:58:30.239 --> 00:58:32.519
Oh wait, wait a minute. In January, didn't I did?

775
00:58:32.679 --> 00:58:35.880
Did I? Jiu jitsu? Didn't I? So I went there

776
00:58:35.880 --> 00:58:41.119
a few times or a couple of times. That's two

777
00:58:41.199 --> 00:58:41.880
journeys out.

778
00:58:49.199 --> 00:58:49.599
Hm hmm.

779
00:58:51.679 --> 00:58:56.039
That was in the winter. It was cold, it was cold.

780
00:58:59.440 --> 00:59:02.480
It's really I try not to moan too much about

781
00:59:02.519 --> 00:59:07.679
the weather. The only weather that annoys me, well, the

782
00:59:07.719 --> 00:59:13.719
only okay, the only weather that affects me really is rain,

783
00:59:15.639 --> 00:59:22.440
just because of this little one. And he just refuses

784
00:59:22.800 --> 00:59:30.760
if it's raining, he refuses to do his business quickly.

785
00:59:30.920 --> 00:59:34.079
It's almost like he wants to take his time. Now.

786
00:59:34.159 --> 00:59:36.960
In reality, he might just be doing exactly what he

787
00:59:37.000 --> 00:59:42.199
normally does. But I'm getting wet and I don't want

788
00:59:42.199 --> 00:59:45.639
to get wet, or the rain when it's windy as well,

789
00:59:45.679 --> 00:59:50.239
so I can't use me bolli, so the umbrella can't

790
00:59:50.239 --> 00:59:50.800
be used.

791
00:59:52.239 --> 01:00:02.000
It's just okay, yeah, especially at night, so I can't

792
01:00:02.039 --> 01:00:03.400
see anything much.

793
01:00:04.719 --> 01:00:09.400
It's raining and it's windy, or even if it's raining,

794
01:00:10.039 --> 01:00:13.519
and then I've got so I've got my torch. My

795
01:00:13.599 --> 01:00:15.599
torch is broken, so I have to get a new torch.

796
01:00:17.840 --> 01:00:19.920
So holding a torch, holding a brolley.

797
01:00:21.199 --> 01:00:26.719
And trying to steer this little one and pick up

798
01:00:26.719 --> 01:00:33.119
his bits and bobs after he's sprinkled them onto the floor,

799
01:00:33.719 --> 01:00:40.639
let them fall down like little anchors out a little boat.

800
01:00:43.760 --> 01:00:52.960
Phillers poos are very much like angers. Yeah, it's something

801
01:00:53.000 --> 01:00:56.119
I didn't realize. I was watching Words or Gummage earlier,

802
01:00:56.360 --> 01:00:59.000
and it was the original words are coming from the

803
01:00:59.159 --> 01:01:08.320
probably early eighties, late seventies, early eighties, And there was

804
01:01:08.360 --> 01:01:10.880
another character in it that I'd not seen before, or

805
01:01:10.880 --> 01:01:14.039
at least i'd forgotten about, and it was Barbara Windsor.

806
01:01:15.159 --> 01:01:21.119
She was like this porcelain statue and Barbara Windsor, I mean,

807
01:01:21.199 --> 01:01:29.440
she looked young there, and she would have been I mean,

808
01:01:29.480 --> 01:01:31.119
she wasn't old, but she would have probably been in

809
01:01:31.159 --> 01:01:35.960
her forties at that point. But she just looked so young.

810
01:01:37.760 --> 01:01:40.159
And because she I wait a minute, no, she was

811
01:01:40.199 --> 01:01:45.920
in Was she in the carry on movies in the

812
01:01:46.000 --> 01:01:50.119
sixties or was the seventies that Barbara Windsor was in

813
01:01:50.119 --> 01:01:58.800
the carry on movies? I'm not sure, because yeah, she

814
01:01:58.880 --> 01:02:00.639
might have just been still in the thirties.

815
01:02:03.840 --> 01:02:05.960
She just looked so young. I had not seen her

816
01:02:06.280 --> 01:02:09.360
outside of the carry On movies. I'd not seen Barbara

817
01:02:09.400 --> 01:02:15.199
Windsor look young like that kind of you know, young,

818
01:02:15.440 --> 01:02:19.559
because when she was in EastEnders she was a lot older,

819
01:02:21.719 --> 01:02:24.920
and she was probably in her seventies, sixties and seventies

820
01:02:25.000 --> 01:02:30.920
or whatever. Fifties, sixties, seventies. I've forgotten, like what she

821
01:02:30.960 --> 01:02:36.039
looked like. I've never seen her. It was out of context.

822
01:02:36.440 --> 01:02:38.760
I've seen her in two different places, the carry On

823
01:02:38.840 --> 01:02:45.639
Movies and EastEnders, and there was many years between them.

824
01:02:45.679 --> 01:02:49.840
Never seen her in anything else. So this is the first.

825
01:02:49.559 --> 01:02:53.920
Time and I was like, wow, okay, that's the Barbara

826
01:02:53.960 --> 01:03:00.400
winds I remember from the carry On movies. This would

827
01:03:00.400 --> 01:03:02.760
mean nothing if you don't know who Barbara Windsor is,

828
01:03:04.679 --> 01:03:06.719
and if you don't know what to carry On movies are.

829
01:03:08.199 --> 01:03:12.760
And they are a I don't wanted to explain it.

830
01:03:12.800 --> 01:03:25.639
Really, they are a heritage from this country. They were

831
01:03:26.679 --> 01:03:30.800
they were comedy comedy movies, and I love them. I

832
01:03:30.840 --> 01:03:34.719
still love them. Not everyone's cup of tea, of course,

833
01:03:35.039 --> 01:03:37.760
never no one and no one, no one's ever going

834
01:03:37.840 --> 01:03:38.719
to love everything are.

835
01:03:38.639 --> 01:03:45.760
They by the way. I watched a movie called The Amateur, and.

836
01:03:47.920 --> 01:03:52.760
It's really good. It's really good. It's got I can't

837
01:03:52.760 --> 01:03:59.239
remember his name. It's got quite a few famous people,

838
01:03:59.280 --> 01:04:00.400
quite yeah, quite a few.

839
01:04:00.239 --> 01:04:04.000
Big names in it. It's really good movie. Unfortunately.

840
01:04:04.679 --> 01:04:06.519
I think the problem with some of these movies that

841
01:04:06.559 --> 01:04:11.239
are coming out is the titles. The titles don't give

842
01:04:11.280 --> 01:04:13.519
away really. I mean it does, I guess if you

843
01:04:13.559 --> 01:04:17.159
think about it. But now seeing it, The Amateur makes

844
01:04:17.280 --> 01:04:24.039
kind of sense. But it's all like espionage, and that doesn't.

845
01:04:23.760 --> 01:04:30.519
Really interest me so much, you know. But it's really good,

846
01:04:32.239 --> 01:04:35.960
really good. Yeah, I liked it.

847
01:04:40.440 --> 01:04:45.159
And I find myself not watching movies because they just don't.

848
01:04:45.760 --> 01:04:50.039
They look a bit bland, like the cover. The descripture

849
01:04:50.079 --> 01:05:01.400
doesn't even sound interesting. Nice playing going past. I did

850
01:05:01.440 --> 01:05:03.280
watch a movie the other day called I think it's

851
01:05:03.360 --> 01:05:11.840
called The Death of Stalin, very funny. Amando Nucci, I

852
01:05:11.880 --> 01:05:18.800
think is the person that wrote it. Amando Amando Nucci.

853
01:05:19.239 --> 01:05:24.159
I think that's his name. Is phenomenal. I think he

854
01:05:24.239 --> 01:05:26.199
wrote in the thick of It or the Thick of.

855
01:05:26.159 --> 01:05:34.239
It, very very funny bloke, great writer, and very different

856
01:05:34.280 --> 01:05:37.840
from anything. I think he's got a different a different

857
01:05:37.840 --> 01:05:42.440
way of looking at the world to any other writer

858
01:05:42.880 --> 01:05:48.039
or producer that I've seen. I don't know if he

859
01:05:48.079 --> 01:05:51.960
produced it, but he wrote it.

860
01:05:51.960 --> 01:05:54.440
It's really good. It's very funny. It's just.

861
01:05:56.039 --> 01:05:58.360
And because they didn't do you know, when they do

862
01:05:59.320 --> 01:06:03.519
movies and they have they put on accents and stuff

863
01:06:03.559 --> 01:06:06.079
like that, they didn't bother with this. It didn't need it,

864
01:06:08.719 --> 01:06:10.440
and I don't think it's needed.

865
01:06:11.719 --> 01:06:19.039
Really. I know some some producers or directors are looking

866
01:06:19.079 --> 01:06:26.000
for some kind of authenticity, so they'll you know, they'll

867
01:06:26.079 --> 01:06:32.119
have try and put on foreign accents. And this didn't

868
01:06:32.119 --> 01:06:36.960
even bother even Starling. Starling himself was a company, like

869
01:06:37.000 --> 01:06:44.760
a londoner. And it was funny. It's just it's great.

870
01:06:45.280 --> 01:06:47.360
It's a really, really, really good movie.

871
01:06:48.440 --> 01:06:51.000
I started to watch it years ago because not a

872
01:06:51.039 --> 01:06:53.639
new one started to watch it years ago, but I didn't.

873
01:06:54.840 --> 01:06:56.760
I don't know. Sometimes I'm not.

874
01:06:56.760 --> 01:07:01.400
In the mood and I just give up watching something

875
01:07:01.400 --> 01:07:04.280
because it doesn't it doesn't catch me, doesn't grab me.

876
01:07:07.559 --> 01:07:09.320
I'd tell you a couple of things were like that.

877
01:07:09.559 --> 01:07:18.000
One was You're gonna be surprised at this sopranos. I

878
01:07:18.199 --> 01:07:20.639
thought it was a part of poo poo.

879
01:07:21.719 --> 01:07:24.280
When it first came out, watched a little bit of

880
01:07:24.360 --> 01:07:28.840
it and I thought, now, see you, I don't want

881
01:07:28.880 --> 01:07:31.000
anything to do with it. I thought, oh god, this

882
01:07:31.039 --> 01:07:35.400
is boring. It's just another one, another Robert de Niro

883
01:07:35.639 --> 01:07:39.880
Want to Be movie. You know, It's like, nah, it's

884
01:07:39.920 --> 01:07:43.880
been done to death. It ended up being one of

885
01:07:43.880 --> 01:07:49.360
my favorite TV shows probably ever, because it was a

886
01:07:49.400 --> 01:07:53.679
great show. I mean arguably by millions of people that

887
01:07:53.760 --> 01:07:57.519
loved it. I just at the start, I just thought,

888
01:07:59.639 --> 01:08:02.800
and it was really promoted. It was, you know, this

889
01:08:03.000 --> 01:08:06.079
big thing. I watched a new TV show, The Soprano's

890
01:08:06.480 --> 01:08:09.840
new HBO show. It's going to be on Channel four

891
01:08:09.880 --> 01:08:12.679
on Sunday nights, starting with a double episode.

892
01:08:14.119 --> 01:08:20.199
So I thought, neah, now you're right. And then I

893
01:08:20.319 --> 01:08:23.920
ended up watching it for what ten eleven years whatever

894
01:08:23.920 --> 01:08:29.920
it was on. Yeah. Wow. It started when I was

895
01:08:29.960 --> 01:08:35.800
in London, started when I was in London, and it

896
01:08:35.920 --> 01:08:40.880
finished when I was I think in the last the

897
01:08:41.000 --> 01:08:50.439
last year of university or the second year of university.

898
01:08:51.680 --> 01:08:58.000
That's crazy in it. Apologies for the squeaky sounds in

899
01:08:58.039 --> 01:09:05.520
the backgrounds to neighbors. I think it's quite a little

900
01:09:05.600 --> 01:09:06.359
echoey area.

901
01:09:06.439 --> 01:09:06.920
Dout there.

902
01:09:07.239 --> 01:09:08.079
That's what it was.

903
01:09:10.279 --> 01:09:12.319
I don't think it's so much that people are talking

904
01:09:12.359 --> 01:09:15.319
really loudly. They are, but I don't think it's it's

905
01:09:15.680 --> 01:09:17.920
I don't think they're talking. I think they probably just

906
01:09:17.960 --> 01:09:19.000
talking normal volume.

907
01:09:19.239 --> 01:09:19.760
No they're not.

908
01:09:20.520 --> 01:09:24.199
It's echoy So it's like a little echo chamber. And

909
01:09:27.359 --> 01:09:30.159
we have a similar thing in this garden, but it

910
01:09:30.239 --> 01:09:34.000
seems to catch the wind sometimes, like.

911
01:09:34.000 --> 01:09:37.119
The wind seems to move around the garden.

912
01:09:40.760 --> 01:09:47.439
M Another TV show was I tried to watch this

913
01:09:48.119 --> 01:09:53.039
multiple times. It was The Walking Dead.

914
01:09:54.560 --> 01:09:56.399
I tried to watch it and I only got as

915
01:09:56.479 --> 01:09:59.479
far as there's the beginning. I'm not going to spoil

916
01:09:59.520 --> 01:10:01.600
it really, just tell you he wakes up in a

917
01:10:01.640 --> 01:10:06.359
hospital and he walks out of the hospital and then

918
01:10:06.399 --> 01:10:12.319
he sees her there the first zombie or whatever, and

919
01:10:12.359 --> 01:10:15.520
I just turned it off. I just got off bored.

920
01:10:18.279 --> 01:10:19.680
I tried to watch it probably.

921
01:10:19.439 --> 01:10:22.880
About five six times, thinking to myself, well, this is

922
01:10:23.239 --> 01:10:26.840
a popular TV show, I should really give it another go.

923
01:10:28.039 --> 01:10:34.359
And at this point I think there's probably into season three.

924
01:10:35.760 --> 01:10:36.399
At that time.

925
01:10:36.479 --> 01:10:41.199
Because I hadn't yeah, because I hadn't had any decent

926
01:10:41.279 --> 01:10:46.359
internet that was even fast enough to to stream Netflix

927
01:10:46.640 --> 01:10:50.359
at that time, and back then Netflix was pretty much

928
01:10:50.399 --> 01:10:55.399
the I think Amazon was around as well, but they

929
01:10:55.399 --> 01:10:58.880
were the two main ones, Amazon and Netflix. There was

930
01:10:58.920 --> 01:11:02.600
no Apple Teeth, there was no now TV, I don't

931
01:11:02.640 --> 01:11:11.920
think which was Sky, and there was no Paramount streaming,

932
01:11:13.000 --> 01:11:17.680
and there would have been no Disney Plus streaming, so

933
01:11:17.840 --> 01:11:22.239
it's you know, it was MGM streaming, so it's kind

934
01:11:22.279 --> 01:11:26.680
of a bit limited. Netflix was pretty much the main one,

935
01:11:26.960 --> 01:11:31.319
and apparently I only needed five megabytes a second to

936
01:11:31.439 --> 01:11:32.880
stream Netflix and I didn't.

937
01:11:32.960 --> 01:11:40.079
My internet didn't even cover that. It's like wow. So

938
01:11:41.279 --> 01:11:47.039
it wasn't really until I I think I moved in

939
01:11:47.239 --> 01:11:58.960
here that I started watching The Walking Dead. Unless I did,

940
01:11:59.079 --> 01:12:02.720
I might maybe downloaded it. I can't remember. I know I.

941
01:12:02.720 --> 01:12:08.600
Downloaded all of the episodes of Frasier. I think I

942
01:12:08.720 --> 01:12:13.479
downloaded all the episodes of Cheers and I watched them

943
01:12:13.520 --> 01:12:14.039
every day.

944
01:12:15.239 --> 01:12:18.880
This was during the period when I was I suppose.

945
01:12:20.960 --> 01:12:27.680
Probably waiting for this place, that year two year period.

946
01:12:27.359 --> 01:12:27.960
When I was.

947
01:12:31.000 --> 01:12:40.279
Kind of in a bit of a limbo LIMBOI period. Yeah,

948
01:12:40.359 --> 01:12:44.479
I watched every single episode of Frasier. I think I

949
01:12:44.520 --> 01:12:46.680
probably watched a couple of episodes a day while I

950
01:12:46.720 --> 01:12:54.600
was having me breakfast. And I don't think I even

951
01:12:54.720 --> 01:13:05.239
had a television at that time, which is weird. No,

952
01:13:05.399 --> 01:13:08.039
I must have had a television. How could I not

953
01:13:08.119 --> 01:13:11.479
have had a television. I think I did. Yeah, I

954
01:13:11.479 --> 01:13:12.560
did have a television.

955
01:13:16.720 --> 01:13:26.880
Yeah.

956
01:13:27.039 --> 01:13:43.159
Another one was, oh, what's his name? Hear the sounds?

957
01:13:43.159 --> 01:13:44.399
I don't know if you can hear them or not.

958
01:13:47.279 --> 01:13:49.000
I can hear them, so I Mentionine, you can hear,

959
01:13:49.399 --> 01:13:57.840
it will be less. Why he shouting? I sometimes think

960
01:13:57.880 --> 01:13:59.760
that the adults are just saying to the kids, shout

961
01:13:59.800 --> 01:14:05.680
now on he's making a podcast up there, show because

962
01:14:05.680 --> 01:14:15.159
they're bored. But I'm probably just imagining that. Maybe there was.

963
01:14:16.760 --> 01:14:19.319
Remember when I first moved in there, there was a

964
01:14:19.319 --> 01:14:23.279
little bit of a neighborly dispute going on between this

965
01:14:23.399 --> 01:14:26.000
bloke that lived downstairs and the bloke that lived upstairs

966
01:14:27.439 --> 01:14:28.840
and the bloke lived downstairs.

967
01:14:30.640 --> 01:14:32.399
I had a few friends.

968
01:14:33.640 --> 01:14:37.319
Like other neighbors, and they were literally standing outside. This

969
01:14:37.399 --> 01:14:44.000
is early in the morning, and you know those things

970
01:14:44.000 --> 01:14:48.119
that go bang, you know, like little gunpowder, a little

971
01:14:48.199 --> 01:14:51.239
gunpowder packages and used to chuck them on the floor

972
01:14:51.239 --> 01:14:55.720
and they go bang, but were really loud. They had

973
01:14:55.760 --> 01:14:57.560
them and they were chucking them up at his window,

974
01:14:58.640 --> 01:14:59.680
at his bedroom window.

975
01:15:04.359 --> 01:15:07.560
And that was quite early on when I first moved in.

976
01:15:08.720 --> 01:15:16.119
And that's when I realized, uh uh, what I've I done,

977
01:15:16.319 --> 01:15:21.800
because that is the mentality of some of the people

978
01:15:22.000 --> 01:15:26.840
that have lived around it, because it's very that's not

979
01:15:26.920 --> 01:15:38.479
adult behavior, is it. And I thought, wow, that's very strange.

980
01:15:38.640 --> 01:15:40.720
I'll tell you one day, because I don't really tell

981
01:15:40.800 --> 01:15:45.199
I don't talk about what's happened around it. One day,

982
01:15:45.960 --> 01:15:48.159
I need to write a little book.

983
01:15:49.000 --> 01:15:49.880
I'll do it vaguely.

984
01:15:49.920 --> 01:15:52.640
I'm not going to mention anyone's names, the fact I

985
01:15:52.680 --> 01:15:56.960
can't remember anyone's names anyway, because they're just people have

986
01:15:57.039 --> 01:15:57.560
come and gone.

987
01:15:58.479 --> 01:16:02.960
But some of the things I've seen, Wow, some of

988
01:16:03.039 --> 01:16:09.560
the things you wouldn't believe it. I saw a couple

989
01:16:09.600 --> 01:16:13.520
of neighbors getting him to punch up over some frozen sausages. Hm,

990
01:16:14.079 --> 01:16:14.680
it's true.

991
01:16:16.039 --> 01:16:16.560
Wow.

992
01:16:18.720 --> 01:16:18.840
Uh.

993
01:16:21.239 --> 01:16:25.119
I remember once my friend downstairs, he came home. He

994
01:16:25.199 --> 01:16:28.399
was with his cousin and his cousin's kid, but he

995
01:16:28.640 --> 01:16:32.600
was a little bit worse for where before he even

996
01:16:32.640 --> 01:16:36.800
went out, he got escorted back by the police. We

997
01:16:36.920 --> 01:16:40.199
got brought back by the police.

998
01:16:40.560 --> 01:16:49.319
And I think this is before I got finny, but yeah,

999
01:16:49.359 --> 01:16:51.880
I'm not sure I think it was yet.

1000
01:16:51.880 --> 01:16:57.159
It would have probably been before that. So my friend

1001
01:16:57.199 --> 01:17:00.000
was telling me he was a little bit bruised.

1002
01:17:00.319 --> 01:17:03.199
So he said that he got started on by there

1003
01:17:03.239 --> 01:17:10.319
was like six blokes and this is him outside.

1004
01:17:10.399 --> 01:17:12.560
So he's outside the police car. He's not in trouble

1005
01:17:12.640 --> 01:17:14.159
or anything. The police had brought him home.

1006
01:17:14.960 --> 01:17:21.199
So I think he was struggling to really function, and

1007
01:17:21.319 --> 01:17:23.079
I think he just went up to them and just

1008
01:17:24.119 --> 01:17:26.760
they didn't like him approaching them or something.

1009
01:17:26.800 --> 01:17:31.399
I don't know. And yeah, well.

1010
01:17:33.359 --> 01:17:36.000
We stopped a few because he was struggling to walk.

1011
01:17:36.119 --> 01:17:38.800
It was because of what he had ingested, whether it

1012
01:17:38.840 --> 01:17:42.319
was alcohol or whatever. So he was very worse aware,

1013
01:17:42.359 --> 01:17:47.720
as I said, So we were stopping every few seconds,

1014
01:17:48.520 --> 01:17:52.800
and he telled me this story. It'd tell it over again,

1015
01:17:53.920 --> 01:17:56.439
and it'd changed every time. By the time we got

1016
01:17:56.520 --> 01:18:01.039
inside his flat, there were thirty men that started on

1017
01:18:01.159 --> 01:18:08.239
him in the park, three hundred. It just kept expanding, So,

1018
01:18:08.800 --> 01:18:14.119
you know, I don't know, I don't know what he

1019
01:18:14.159 --> 01:18:17.439
was talking about. And it was funny, you know, started

1020
01:18:17.439 --> 01:18:22.159
off at six, ended up at thirty, and it started

1021
01:18:22.199 --> 01:18:26.199
off there was six teenagers that were just being a

1022
01:18:26.239 --> 01:18:32.239
bit obnoxious, and then it ended up being like thirty

1023
01:18:33.600 --> 01:18:35.840
raw marines in tanks.

1024
01:18:37.000 --> 01:18:39.239
It was like, what the heck's going on here?

1025
01:18:42.560 --> 01:18:46.720
I remember the only time because he used to love

1026
01:18:46.760 --> 01:18:51.359
to lie, but sometimes it was obvious. Sometimes it was

1027
01:18:51.439 --> 01:18:55.680
less obvious, and we'd laugh at stuff, you know. But

1028
01:18:55.760 --> 01:18:58.399
remember once he said something and I said, I'm calling

1029
01:18:58.840 --> 01:19:03.039
BS on that, and he couldn't stop laughing because he

1030
01:19:03.079 --> 01:19:04.880
wasn't used to people standing up to him to be

1031
01:19:04.880 --> 01:19:07.399
out I think, like pulling it or pulling him up

1032
01:19:07.439 --> 01:19:11.119
on stuff like that. But it was so ridiculous what

1033
01:19:11.199 --> 01:19:16.079
he said, because I knew, I literally knew the truth.

1034
01:19:16.319 --> 01:19:20.880
I knew what was what. I wasn't in the mood

1035
01:19:20.960 --> 01:19:23.079
to for just going along with it.

1036
01:19:23.119 --> 01:19:24.840
You know, sometimes I just go along with it just

1037
01:19:24.840 --> 01:19:27.479
for the sake of it. It was easier if it

1038
01:19:27.560 --> 01:19:29.760
depended on how he was, what his mood was like,

1039
01:19:30.119 --> 01:19:33.039
or what my mood was like. But on that occasion,

1040
01:19:33.079 --> 01:19:36.000
my mood wasn't prepared to put up with it.

1041
01:19:36.399 --> 01:19:40.680
And I said, I'm calling BS on that. That might

1042
01:19:40.800 --> 01:19:42.319
not be in the words I used, but you know,

1043
01:19:44.680 --> 01:19:48.119
and he just stopped and looked at me, and literally

1044
01:19:48.159 --> 01:19:49.279
he couldn't stop laughing.

1045
01:19:49.399 --> 01:19:54.039
It was just because he said, you don't normally say

1046
01:19:54.079 --> 01:19:55.640
stuff like that to me. I said, I know, but

1047
01:19:55.800 --> 01:20:01.600
come on, I can't bothered. He's just talking rubbish, absolutely rubbish,

1048
01:20:01.640 --> 01:20:04.239
and he just let I know, but he just.

1049
01:20:05.680 --> 01:20:06.119
I don't know.

1050
01:20:06.119 --> 01:20:09.720
It's a very funny moment, a very funny moment. There

1051
01:20:09.760 --> 01:20:14.159
was another time with him, So we had another friend

1052
01:20:14.520 --> 01:20:17.760
who I'm still friends with, who came in here and

1053
01:20:17.920 --> 01:20:23.119
he I think we was watching boxing. Very likely it

1054
01:20:23.159 --> 01:20:24.439
was boxing, because.

1055
01:20:26.359 --> 01:20:30.399
That was often the only time the Saturday evening where

1056
01:20:30.479 --> 01:20:35.119
my friend would be upstairs with me because normally, well

1057
01:20:35.159 --> 01:20:38.239
normally on a Saturday night, I watched boxing or I'm

1058
01:20:38.359 --> 01:20:40.800
left alone. So if he's up here, it's usually because

1059
01:20:40.800 --> 01:20:46.880
boxing's on or when he was around that is, so

1060
01:20:48.199 --> 01:20:51.039
my other friend comes up. Well, it's more he was

1061
01:20:51.079 --> 01:20:53.159
like mutual friend of both of us and other neighbors.

1062
01:20:53.159 --> 01:20:55.039
So he came in. He was just sitting next to

1063
01:20:55.079 --> 01:20:58.279
me and he said, I was sitting at my table.

1064
01:20:59.039 --> 01:21:01.760
He was sitting on him here, and.

1065
01:21:03.359 --> 01:21:06.319
My other friend, my friend downstairs, was sitting on a

1066
01:21:06.399 --> 01:21:13.039
chair over there. So the new friend that just come in,

1067
01:21:13.119 --> 01:21:15.680
he said, oh you O k if I if I

1068
01:21:15.960 --> 01:21:25.159
light up A A.

1069
01:21:21.720 --> 01:21:23.279
J O, I N t.

1070
01:21:26.640 --> 01:21:26.680
H.

1071
01:21:28.319 --> 01:21:37.039
It rhymes with point point point shoint loint point. I

1072
01:21:37.079 --> 01:21:39.199
can't think of a word that is a proper word

1073
01:21:39.199 --> 01:21:47.560
that rhymes like that. Point hmmm, point point that's it

1074
01:21:47.640 --> 01:21:52.800
rhymes a point anyway, I said, yeah, I suppose, I

1075
01:21:52.800 --> 01:21:57.880
don't care. I think he was just sitting there having

1076
01:21:57.880 --> 01:22:00.000
a beer and I was sitting there, probably drinking cocaine

1077
01:22:00.079 --> 01:22:07.600
cola and the stuff was so pungent because I don't

1078
01:22:07.680 --> 01:22:09.520
I don't touch that stuff, and.

1079
01:22:09.399 --> 01:22:15.159
He's like so pungent, and I was, I was coughing

1080
01:22:15.159 --> 01:22:22.600
a little bit. He he my friend downstairs was like

1081
01:22:23.079 --> 01:22:28.880
looking at me like, oh, it's awful smell. So my

1082
01:22:28.960 --> 01:22:33.920
friend with the with thing the rhymes with point, he said,

1083
01:22:34.000 --> 01:22:35.039
kind of borrow the toilet.

1084
01:22:35.119 --> 01:22:37.119
I said, as long as you give it back. We

1085
01:22:37.239 --> 01:22:40.399
all laughed and he said okay, So he went to

1086
01:22:40.399 --> 01:22:45.079
a toilet. Luke, my mother friend from downstairs, he said

1087
01:22:45.079 --> 01:22:47.960
to me, you've got to please ask him just to

1088
01:22:48.039 --> 01:22:52.039
put that out. Is making me choke, because Luke did

1089
01:22:52.079 --> 01:22:57.199
have really bad lungs. Anyway, he had I don't know asthma,

1090
01:22:57.239 --> 01:23:03.399
and I see per COPD whatever. So he said, can

1091
01:23:03.439 --> 01:23:06.840
you ask him to put it out because I just

1092
01:23:07.000 --> 01:23:11.079
can't struggling to breathe with that thing on there, and

1093
01:23:11.119 --> 01:23:13.199
I want to watch the boxing. We had the windows

1094
01:23:13.199 --> 01:23:16.000
open and everything, but it was just too much. So

1095
01:23:16.000 --> 01:23:18.920
I said, all right, I'll ask him. So he comes

1096
01:23:18.920 --> 01:23:21.800
out of the toilet and he sits down and says,

1097
01:23:21.920 --> 01:23:24.960
I don't mean to be rude or anything, but are

1098
01:23:24.960 --> 01:23:28.239
you okay to maybe smoke down in the kitchen or

1099
01:23:28.600 --> 01:23:30.800
put it out or maybe go in the garden.

1100
01:23:30.479 --> 01:23:37.399
Because it's a bit too pungent, too a bit too smoky.

1101
01:23:37.520 --> 01:23:39.800
So he was fine with it. He said, that's that's okay,

1102
01:23:39.800 --> 01:23:44.920
that's fine, Luke. Luke pipes up. He says, oh, really,

1103
01:23:44.960 --> 01:23:46.680
I'm fine with it. It's okay with me. It's not

1104
01:23:46.720 --> 01:23:53.319
bothering me. It's like and he looks at me and smiles.

1105
01:23:54.079 --> 01:23:57.279
It's almost like he did it purposely, just to make

1106
01:23:57.479 --> 01:24:03.680
me look silly. I didn't, I didn't say anything. I

1107
01:24:03.720 --> 01:24:09.439
was like, just shook my head. I can't believe. And

1108
01:24:09.479 --> 01:24:11.319
then we watched the box and he kept looking over

1109
01:24:11.399 --> 01:24:14.079
and smiling at me because he was so pleased with himself.

1110
01:24:15.359 --> 01:24:20.800
And when the other neighbor left. The other neighbor left,

1111
01:24:20.880 --> 01:24:23.560
Luke started laughing because he was holding the laughter in

1112
01:24:23.800 --> 01:24:24.279
right away.

1113
01:24:24.359 --> 01:24:28.199
He's like giggling to himself. And they started laughing as

1114
01:24:28.239 --> 01:24:32.279
soon as my other neighbor left so he could think

1115
01:24:32.279 --> 01:24:34.439
a boxing finished or he had to go and do something.

1116
01:24:36.600 --> 01:24:41.359
And I've told that neighbor since because since Luke passed

1117
01:24:41.560 --> 01:24:44.880
or when he'd left, I told the other that neighbor

1118
01:24:44.920 --> 01:24:50.359
about the story. He found it funny because it's just

1119
01:24:50.720 --> 01:24:53.279
it's how how Luke was. He's just had that his

1120
01:24:53.399 --> 01:24:58.399
sense of humor was. It was just it was a

1121
01:24:58.439 --> 01:25:02.840
funny moment. It's one of my one of my fond memories. Actually,

1122
01:25:03.800 --> 01:25:07.880
another one was when the same neighbor actually he spent

1123
01:25:07.960 --> 01:25:12.439
the summer living in Luke's flat because he had some problems.

1124
01:25:12.520 --> 01:25:15.279
He had his own flat, but he he.

1125
01:25:15.439 --> 01:25:18.760
Luke was kind of looking after him really, sort of emotionally,

1126
01:25:18.760 --> 01:25:25.479
and they're spending time with him, and another neighbor opposite

1127
01:25:25.520 --> 01:25:33.920
in the building opposite was mowing the lawn and apparently

1128
01:25:33.920 --> 01:25:36.079
this is what happened. Luke puts his head out the

1129
01:25:36.399 --> 01:25:39.880
out of the window says, excuse me, mate, I suppose

1130
01:25:39.880 --> 01:25:42.680
you could just hold off doing that for a little while.

1131
01:25:42.920 --> 01:25:45.199
So I only just got him too sleep. So the

1132
01:25:45.239 --> 01:25:47.640
neighbor came over, thinking it was a baby. He looked

1133
01:25:47.960 --> 01:25:50.319
through the window and there's a fully grown man on

1134
01:25:50.359 --> 01:25:52.000
the sofa asleep.

1135
01:25:54.119 --> 01:25:57.239
And they both started laughing. The neighbors started laughing.

1136
01:25:58.039 --> 01:26:04.399
And it's when I was down there when this happened,

1137
01:26:05.119 --> 01:26:07.560
and when when Luke told me. Honestly, it was one

1138
01:26:07.560 --> 01:26:09.560
of the funniest things I heard for a long time,

1139
01:26:10.319 --> 01:26:13.399
because it was so ridiculous, like, oh, can you keep

1140
01:26:13.439 --> 01:26:13.800
it quiet.

1141
01:26:13.800 --> 01:26:15.000
I've just got him off to sleep.

1142
01:26:15.840 --> 01:26:18.039
Like you don't think that's going to be a grown man,

1143
01:26:18.840 --> 01:26:22.920
a grown adult asleep on the sofa when you say that,

1144
01:26:24.079 --> 01:26:26.800
And I've just got him off to sleep, like it'd

1145
01:26:26.800 --> 01:26:31.359
be like cradling him and singing bedtime stories to him

1146
01:26:31.439 --> 01:26:35.039
or something, lullabies.

1147
01:26:36.920 --> 01:26:38.960
I'll tell one maybe that as well. He found it funny.

1148
01:26:39.520 --> 01:26:43.640
So it is this. It's weird because those two stories

1149
01:26:44.359 --> 01:26:48.279
were kind of a connection with that other neighbor. There's

1150
01:26:48.319 --> 01:26:51.800
always going to be there, however strange that might be.

1151
01:26:53.279 --> 01:26:59.439
It's there's that connection because we were both friends with Luke.

1152
01:27:00.479 --> 01:27:00.880
And.

1153
01:27:03.600 --> 01:27:06.319
Yeah, Luke was kind of just looking out for him

1154
01:27:06.359 --> 01:27:16.399
for that summer. Yeah, Wow, I don't know what I'm

1155
01:27:16.439 --> 01:27:26.000
talking about. Him, mister Lukey, Baby, I got a.

1156
01:27:28.640 --> 01:27:34.560
Thing in the winter, like before Christmas, and it was

1157
01:27:34.600 --> 01:27:38.359
going to be dangling on the tree outside because Luke

1158
01:27:38.479 --> 01:27:42.000
planted the Christmas tree that's in the front garden. It's

1159
01:27:42.039 --> 01:27:44.159
now as big as the building. But it was a

1160
01:27:44.159 --> 01:27:48.000
little sapling when he planted it, and it's grown to

1161
01:27:48.079 --> 01:27:58.119
be massive, so he's as funny as it grew. Once

1162
01:27:58.159 --> 01:28:04.720
he got above the length of the surrounding bushes that

1163
01:28:04.760 --> 01:28:11.079
are trimmed, the council kept coming out and starting to

1164
01:28:11.119 --> 01:28:13.840
trim the tree. So every time the trimmers were out,

1165
01:28:14.079 --> 01:28:17.520
Luke could run out and say, don't touch the tree, don't.

1166
01:28:17.279 --> 01:28:20.840
Touch the tree. And he did that for years, don't

1167
01:28:20.840 --> 01:28:22.920
touch the tree. And then the tree got too big

1168
01:28:22.920 --> 01:28:24.840
and everyone left the tree alone and they kind of

1169
01:28:24.840 --> 01:28:28.319
got to know. And now it is nearly as tall

1170
01:28:28.359 --> 01:28:29.039
as the building.

1171
01:28:30.199 --> 01:28:32.039
So I kind of look at that tree and I

1172
01:28:32.079 --> 01:28:34.560
think of him because I know that he planted it,

1173
01:28:34.600 --> 01:28:38.399
and I was. I mean, he planted it before I

1174
01:28:38.479 --> 01:28:41.319
was even here, because he'd lived there a couple of

1175
01:28:41.399 --> 01:28:46.159
years before me, maybe three years before me, so he'd

1176
01:28:46.199 --> 01:28:52.720
already planted that. Yeah, he must have been, because he'd lived

1177
01:28:52.720 --> 01:29:02.920
there for twelve years. Wow, So yeah, maybe maybe more

1178
01:29:02.960 --> 01:29:08.840
than maybe more than two years before me. I think

1179
01:29:08.840 --> 01:29:10.720
he might have lived here for four or five years

1180
01:29:10.720 --> 01:29:19.760
before I got here. Yeah, maybe it's I can't I

1181
01:29:19.800 --> 01:29:23.399
could find out, but I don't know exactly. It's not

1182
01:29:23.439 --> 01:29:27.680
really important, is it. I suppose my neighbor that's in hospital,

1183
01:29:27.720 --> 01:29:32.600
he's been here since about nineteen ninety nine, which, if

1184
01:29:32.640 --> 01:29:34.520
I do remember, it is about the same time as

1185
01:29:34.560 --> 01:29:46.399
a soprano starting roughly roughly, that's a long time.

1186
01:29:47.680 --> 01:29:48.199
It's a lot.

1187
01:29:48.279 --> 01:29:50.600
It doesn't seem like a long time, but it does

1188
01:29:50.640 --> 01:29:54.319
as well. At the same time, how many times can

1189
01:29:54.359 --> 01:29:57.840
I say in a sentence? Times, time, time, time.

1190
01:30:00.399 --> 01:30:07.199
A lot's happened. But then what is it now?

1191
01:30:07.720 --> 01:30:14.800
For twenty nine thirty nine, forty nine fifty nine, So

1192
01:30:14.840 --> 01:30:25.560
it's twenty twenty six years. Because that period was potentially

1193
01:30:25.600 --> 01:30:28.720
the highlight of my life, of my adult life kind of.

1194
01:30:29.640 --> 01:30:32.880
It was one of the best periods of my life

1195
01:30:34.319 --> 01:30:41.800
between the ages of i'd say probably January nineteen ninety

1196
01:30:41.920 --> 01:30:52.880
eight and two thousand and one. Once it got to

1197
01:30:52.880 --> 01:30:54.640
two thousand and one, things when.

1198
01:30:54.479 --> 01:31:00.840
A little bit eerie, not eerie, bit bit not so great,

1199
01:31:00.880 --> 01:31:13.439
but eighty eight eighty nine, ninety nine, two thousand, eighty

1200
01:31:15.520 --> 01:31:20.560
ninety seven, ninety eight, ninety nine, two thousand, two thousand

1201
01:31:20.560 --> 01:31:24.960
and one. So yeah, I had three three years which

1202
01:31:25.000 --> 01:31:34.439
things were going fairly well in some ways, and because

1203
01:31:34.560 --> 01:31:40.560
I just started my interest in hypnosis NLP, and then

1204
01:31:40.600 --> 01:31:46.600
in two thousand I became super interested in the Internet

1205
01:31:47.199 --> 01:31:54.800
and building websites. So during two thousand, the whole year

1206
01:31:56.159 --> 01:31:59.720
I devoted to building websites, to learning how to build

1207
01:31:59.800 --> 01:32:02.479
ups sites, and it was the most exciting thing I'd

1208
01:32:02.479 --> 01:32:05.840
ever done in my life. For some reason, I became

1209
01:32:05.920 --> 01:32:12.920
obsessed with it, absolutely obsessed, and I missed that feeling.

1210
01:32:16.840 --> 01:32:18.960
And I kind of realize now that I was.

1211
01:32:20.479 --> 01:32:24.800
Probably for some of that period going through a very

1212
01:32:24.840 --> 01:32:34.039
big manic stage.

1213
01:32:31.079 --> 01:32:33.000
But I didn't know.

1214
01:32:33.119 --> 01:32:37.279
All I knew I was enjoying myself and i'd be awake.

1215
01:32:39.520 --> 01:32:42.600
I was getting like four hours sleep a night if that,

1216
01:32:43.680 --> 01:32:47.199
I didn't need to eat really, just like I'd forget

1217
01:32:47.239 --> 01:32:49.920
to eat because I was so busy focusing on the

1218
01:32:49.920 --> 01:32:52.720
web pages and how to build them. Had all these

1219
01:32:52.840 --> 01:32:54.439
big pile of books.

1220
01:32:54.680 --> 01:32:58.840
HTML code, how to. Yeah, I just loved it, loved

1221
01:32:59.039 --> 01:33:04.479
everything about it. It's like a code. I was trying

1222
01:33:04.520 --> 01:33:05.000
to crack.

1223
01:33:07.119 --> 01:33:09.359
I had had the books, but I was trying to

1224
01:33:09.399 --> 01:33:11.720
crack it on my own, trying to figure it out

1225
01:33:11.800 --> 01:33:16.199
on my own, and I once spent There's a thing,

1226
01:33:17.079 --> 01:33:19.720
you know, with on the internet or you know on

1227
01:33:19.760 --> 01:33:23.119
the phone, you press a link, click a link, and

1228
01:33:23.159 --> 01:33:26.960
it takes you somewhere else. Another website opens up, another

1229
01:33:27.000 --> 01:33:30.279
page on the website takes you to an app whatever.

1230
01:33:31.119 --> 01:33:39.760
They're called hyperlinks. So I wanted to figure out how

1231
01:33:39.800 --> 01:33:45.319
to build a hyperlink on a website, a web page,

1232
01:33:45.399 --> 01:33:48.680
rather to take it to other pages. You could also

1233
01:33:48.720 --> 01:33:50.079
do it so it took you to another part of

1234
01:33:50.079 --> 01:33:52.319
the page as well, but I wanted just to figure

1235
01:33:52.319 --> 01:33:56.720
out how to do it. Now, it's very easy to

1236
01:33:56.760 --> 01:34:02.159
do if you just look into a book, but I

1237
01:34:02.239 --> 01:34:06.880
refused to do that. I wanted to work out how

1238
01:34:06.920 --> 01:34:15.560
to build a hyperlink by dissecting a page. And I

1239
01:34:15.680 --> 01:34:20.920
spent days doing this, just dissecting a page, taking a

1240
01:34:20.920 --> 01:34:24.439
little bit of code off, and then seeing if that

1241
01:34:24.479 --> 01:34:27.680
page works with the link, and if it didn't work,

1242
01:34:27.920 --> 01:34:30.720
I put it back to what it was before and

1243
01:34:30.760 --> 01:34:34.800
taken a bit more off. So I stripped down the

1244
01:34:34.840 --> 01:34:39.279
page as bare as possible to the point, and this

1245
01:34:39.439 --> 01:34:41.279
was a big page from the Internet.

1246
01:34:41.279 --> 01:34:45.920
It's like an Internet page that I had copied. I

1247
01:34:46.199 --> 01:34:50.560
stripped it down to the bare minimum, to the point

1248
01:34:50.600 --> 01:34:55.439
where it pretty much was just the code for the link.

1249
01:34:55.760 --> 01:34:58.840
There was a little bit I suppose body whatever, just

1250
01:34:59.319 --> 01:35:02.800
so it had so it worked. But I broke it

1251
01:35:02.840 --> 01:35:07.760
down to its bare, bare minimum. And it took me

1252
01:35:07.960 --> 01:35:11.880
probably three three days, maybe four days even doing that,

1253
01:35:14.039 --> 01:35:20.479
eighteen hours a day, solidly focused on that one page,

1254
01:35:20.600 --> 01:35:24.199
and I loved every second of it. It was probably

1255
01:35:24.199 --> 01:35:27.600
a bit of frustration as well, because it didn't work

1256
01:35:27.640 --> 01:35:34.720
most of the time until it did, But it was

1257
01:35:35.039 --> 01:35:38.520
so satisfying when I figured out how.

1258
01:35:38.399 --> 01:35:42.880
To do it. Yeah, I could have just looked in

1259
01:35:42.920 --> 01:35:46.079
a book. I mean I had probably five six books.

1260
01:35:46.880 --> 01:35:48.680
Any of those books would have told me how to

1261
01:35:48.680 --> 01:35:59.439
build it, and it was just I was determined to

1262
01:35:59.439 --> 01:36:05.159
figure it out myself by I guess reverse engineering it

1263
01:36:05.199 --> 01:36:17.159
would be called now, by unbuilding the page, starting from yeah,

1264
01:36:17.279 --> 01:36:21.920
starting working my way back to the beginning of the

1265
01:36:21.920 --> 01:36:22.880
page being built.

1266
01:36:22.960 --> 01:36:28.119
You know. I did a similar thing for how to

1267
01:36:28.199 --> 01:36:32.840
make something, how to make text a different color, how

1268
01:36:32.880 --> 01:36:35.640
to make it a different size, how to make it bold,

1269
01:36:36.319 --> 01:36:42.920
how to yeah, all different things. It took. Yeah, so

1270
01:36:43.000 --> 01:36:47.039
I devoted a whole year to that. I loved it,

1271
01:36:47.159 --> 01:36:52.279
I really did. I remember I've told this story before,

1272
01:36:52.359 --> 01:36:59.199
but not for ages. When I started at Churchill Insurance,

1273
01:37:01.039 --> 01:37:07.880
we had information on a They called it the intranet,

1274
01:37:08.199 --> 01:37:12.000
so basically you could put stuff, you could read stuff

1275
01:37:12.000 --> 01:37:15.520
off the server. So it wasn't the Internet. You couldn't

1276
01:37:15.560 --> 01:37:22.039
access the Internet, but you can access bits of information. Now.

1277
01:37:22.079 --> 01:37:25.880
I decided that it's okay to have all that information,

1278
01:37:26.000 --> 01:37:32.760
but it's very much scattered and it would be easy

1279
01:37:32.800 --> 01:37:35.840
if it was all in one place. So I built

1280
01:37:35.840 --> 01:37:40.920
a website in between calls, and.

1281
01:37:43.199 --> 01:37:46.039
I linked all the stuff that was on the computer

1282
01:37:46.119 --> 01:37:51.640
system on the Internet, so script to read out information

1283
01:37:51.760 --> 01:37:57.399
about no claims, bonus, information about each company, answers to

1284
01:37:57.960 --> 01:37:59.159
common questions.

1285
01:38:00.359 --> 01:38:08.479
A converter A converter like a calculator, but it was

1286
01:38:08.520 --> 01:38:13.600
specifically for converting sales, to see what conversion you are

1287
01:38:13.680 --> 01:38:14.199
and stuff.

1288
01:38:15.720 --> 01:38:18.119
But someone else built that, but I added that to

1289
01:38:18.199 --> 01:38:26.560
it and I started using it myself. I didn't and

1290
01:38:26.600 --> 01:38:29.640
then someone on my team said, oh, can you can

1291
01:38:29.680 --> 01:38:33.119
you email that to me? So I did, and eventually

1292
01:38:33.800 --> 01:38:36.279
quite a few people around the sales law was using

1293
01:38:36.319 --> 01:38:39.520
it because it's useful because everything's in one place. You's

1294
01:38:39.560 --> 01:38:42.760
clicked on it and it just gave your list of

1295
01:38:42.800 --> 01:38:45.560
things you can click on, and it's it's very simple,

1296
01:38:45.600 --> 01:38:50.359
but it was useful. It was weird because on one day,

1297
01:38:52.000 --> 01:38:58.399
I'm on a phone call and my manager or myself

1298
01:38:58.439 --> 01:39:01.319
my team leader, said, when you finish that call, can

1299
01:39:01.359 --> 01:39:01.840
you come off?

1300
01:39:01.920 --> 01:39:04.920
Can you can you log out? Said okay?

1301
01:39:04.960 --> 01:39:06.239
And I was coming to the end of the car

1302
01:39:07.079 --> 01:39:11.359
and I locked out and there was two blokes standing

1303
01:39:11.439 --> 01:39:14.800
there with him, and he said, can you come with us?

1304
01:39:17.000 --> 01:39:21.680
I thought, oh, this is not looking good. Really did

1305
01:39:21.720 --> 01:39:24.039
not know what's going on. I thought I'd messed up

1306
01:39:24.119 --> 01:39:29.560
big time, you know, sold sold lor insurance or haulage

1307
01:39:29.640 --> 01:39:32.720
insurance to someone with a mini, you know, I just

1308
01:39:32.800 --> 01:39:37.760
made a mistake like that that has happened.

1309
01:39:37.760 --> 01:39:41.760
But yeah, but it wasn't. It wasn't anything like that.

1310
01:39:41.880 --> 01:39:46.079
So they took me up into the IT department and

1311
01:39:46.119 --> 01:39:48.159
there was another person in there and they all sat

1312
01:39:48.239 --> 01:39:51.199
me down and they said, did you is it is

1313
01:39:51.199 --> 01:39:54.079
it true that you built that website on the intranet?

1314
01:39:55.039 --> 01:40:02.000
I said, yeah, how did you do it? See, they

1315
01:40:02.039 --> 01:40:09.520
thought I'd somehow infiltrated the intranet and brought in software

1316
01:40:10.079 --> 01:40:14.760
and maybe put some kind of virus onto the system

1317
01:40:15.000 --> 01:40:18.039
by using discs and stuff like that, which I hadn't

1318
01:40:18.560 --> 01:40:22.199
There was no access to do that. And I said,

1319
01:40:22.279 --> 01:40:22.800
have you done it?

1320
01:40:22.800 --> 01:40:23.000
Then?

1321
01:40:23.560 --> 01:40:27.159
I said, I said, well, if you brought a disk.

1322
01:40:27.000 --> 01:40:29.840
In, if you've managed to, how have you got it

1323
01:40:28.960 --> 01:40:31.000
onto the Internet?

1324
01:40:31.520 --> 01:40:34.600
I said, I built it?

1325
01:40:34.680 --> 01:40:36.239
So what do you mean you built it? You built

1326
01:40:36.239 --> 01:40:39.560
the website how? I said, what do you mean how?

1327
01:40:39.600 --> 01:40:42.479
I just built it just I know how to build websites.

1328
01:40:45.560 --> 01:40:49.760
It's very basic, you know, it's nothing special here. Probably

1329
01:40:49.880 --> 01:40:53.680
couldn't do it now, but I could then because I'd

1330
01:40:53.720 --> 01:40:55.439
spent a year and a half doing it, because I

1331
01:40:55.479 --> 01:40:58.479
spent you know, half of two thousand and one also

1332
01:40:58.560 --> 01:41:03.680
doing it. And he said, and they said they couldn't understand.

1333
01:41:03.720 --> 01:41:07.840
How did I build a website in between phone calls

1334
01:41:08.640 --> 01:41:14.520
without bringing in discs and code and without infiltrating the

1335
01:41:14.520 --> 01:41:17.680
their servers. I said, no, I just built a website

1336
01:41:17.720 --> 01:41:21.079
on the server from my computer, and then people wanted it,

1337
01:41:21.079 --> 01:41:25.199
so I shared it. It was just on It wasn't

1338
01:41:25.239 --> 01:41:30.760
on the internet, but it had a link to the internet.

1339
01:41:31.000 --> 01:41:37.840
So the website was just a website page. It was

1340
01:41:37.880 --> 01:41:43.600
on my desktop. I shared it out all the hyperlinks

1341
01:41:43.680 --> 01:41:45.479
to the pages on the internet.

1342
01:41:46.279 --> 01:41:48.960
That's all it was. So it's just one page. Opened

1343
01:41:48.960 --> 01:41:51.439
it up and it was a website with the links

1344
01:41:51.479 --> 01:41:52.479
to all the other stuff.

1345
01:41:52.720 --> 01:41:55.920
So all the other stuff was already on there. And

1346
01:41:55.720 --> 01:41:58.039
they're like, how did you do that? I said, I

1347
01:41:58.119 --> 01:42:01.520
just did it, know how to do it. And they

1348
01:42:01.560 --> 01:42:04.239
couldn't believe. They didn't believe me that I'd died off

1349
01:42:04.319 --> 01:42:05.000
of my own head.

1350
01:42:07.319 --> 01:42:11.960
I said yeah, And they were annoyed because they said

1351
01:42:11.960 --> 01:42:15.399
that they'd spent the last year trying to put together

1352
01:42:15.720 --> 01:42:20.439
some kind of website service which would do exactly what

1353
01:42:20.479 --> 01:42:24.479
I'd done. This would have been more complicated and more

1354
01:42:25.119 --> 01:42:26.079
precise and a.

1355
01:42:26.119 --> 01:42:31.600
Much better version. But they were peeved because this bloke

1356
01:42:31.680 --> 01:42:34.199
said that he was taken on. He'd been there for

1357
01:42:34.520 --> 01:42:37.000
nearly a year and they had been planning to do this.

1358
01:42:37.920 --> 01:42:43.039
He was the IT boss or part of the IT team,

1359
01:42:43.560 --> 01:42:45.279
and now it's one of his jobs is to put

1360
01:42:45.319 --> 01:42:51.039
together at the website on the intranet for all of

1361
01:42:51.079 --> 01:42:54.880
the workers in this because there was like hundreds of

1362
01:42:54.920 --> 01:43:00.359
people working there, and then they could update a new

1363
01:43:00.399 --> 01:43:02.800
script to read out, or there was a new raw

1364
01:43:03.079 --> 01:43:07.119
there's new you know, always changing stuff, so it'd be

1365
01:43:07.199 --> 01:43:11.960
quite handy to have that information. Just stuff like the

1366
01:43:12.479 --> 01:43:21.399
for new people, the.

1367
01:43:17.680 --> 01:43:22.279
The phonetic alphabet. It's handy to have that because I

1368
01:43:22.359 --> 01:43:25.800
was learning that. I didn't know the phonetic phonetic alphabet

1369
01:43:26.640 --> 01:43:30.359
properly until I moved into until I started working in

1370
01:43:30.359 --> 01:43:34.600
that job. So someone new, you could just have it

1371
01:43:34.640 --> 01:43:37.119
on the screen, just click a quick click and it's

1372
01:43:37.119 --> 01:43:39.319
there and they can just read it, read it out,

1373
01:43:39.560 --> 01:43:42.800
just get to know it, and have it on a

1374
01:43:42.800 --> 01:43:46.239
little have it on a little page below what they're doing,

1375
01:43:46.760 --> 01:43:49.800
so it's just always there. So it's just simple things

1376
01:43:49.800 --> 01:43:52.079
like that. And he said, well, we're going to have

1377
01:43:52.079 --> 01:43:53.119
to take it off.

1378
01:43:55.079 --> 01:43:57.720
Because it's I can't have it on the internet. I said,

1379
01:43:57.760 --> 01:44:01.239
it's not on the internet. It said, what you mean.

1380
01:44:01.399 --> 01:44:05.760
I said, it's it's just on people's desktops, individual desktops.

1381
01:44:06.800 --> 01:44:09.600
You can just ask people to take it off their desktops.

1382
01:44:11.039 --> 01:44:15.039
It links to the internet, but it's not on the internet.

1383
01:44:15.840 --> 01:44:18.279
So they basically had no control over it.

1384
01:44:18.800 --> 01:44:21.680
And I think that's what annoyed them, because this thing

1385
01:44:21.880 --> 01:44:24.560
was not on their own Internet, which is what an

1386
01:44:24.560 --> 01:44:28.640
internet is. It's basically it's a it's the company Internet,

1387
01:44:28.880 --> 01:44:32.439
which they have complete control over. But if you have

1388
01:44:32.560 --> 01:44:36.800
a link to that Internet and your part that you're

1389
01:44:36.800 --> 01:44:41.840
in that system, then it just logs into it. I

1390
01:44:41.840 --> 01:44:44.119
don't think they knew that was possible. Maybe they didn't

1391
01:44:44.159 --> 01:44:48.760
realize you could do that, so I didn't know. It

1392
01:44:48.800 --> 01:44:51.199
wasn't supposed to be done. I didn't know that it

1393
01:44:51.239 --> 01:44:54.159
shouldn't be able to be done because it's the Internet's

1394
01:44:54.159 --> 01:44:57.960
supposed to be very private and secure, which makes you

1395
01:44:58.079 --> 01:45:00.520
wonder maybe that link on the normal into the.

1396
01:45:00.479 --> 01:45:02.800
Internet might have taken there as well. I don't know.

1397
01:45:03.279 --> 01:45:04.039
I doubt it, though.

1398
01:45:06.319 --> 01:45:09.239
So they told me you can't use it, can't use

1399
01:45:09.279 --> 01:45:11.079
it anymore because we're going to They were going to

1400
01:45:11.079 --> 01:45:13.720
build their own and they're in the middle of doing it.

1401
01:45:14.119 --> 01:45:17.560
And I had a little hope then a little hope

1402
01:45:17.560 --> 01:45:22.039
in my chest at a little bit of a little

1403
01:45:22.039 --> 01:45:25.199
bit of ooh, maybe they're going to ask me to

1404
01:45:25.239 --> 01:45:25.960
help build it.

1405
01:45:26.800 --> 01:45:34.159
But they didn't. They didn't at all, And I was like, oh, okay,

1406
01:45:34.640 --> 01:45:38.439
because I could have built it so easily what I

1407
01:45:38.439 --> 01:45:40.520
already had, but I could have made it much better.

1408
01:45:41.159 --> 01:45:43.680
And maybe looked into you know, with the right software

1409
01:45:43.720 --> 01:45:45.439
and stuff, I could have made it quite nice.

1410
01:45:46.239 --> 01:45:49.880
It's not that I was I didn't have any qualifications

1411
01:45:50.680 --> 01:45:53.119
or experience. I just had a year and a half

1412
01:45:53.159 --> 01:45:55.560
of phaneticism.

1413
01:45:56.920 --> 01:46:02.720
For building websites. That was my obsession. I was obsessed

1414
01:46:02.960 --> 01:46:03.319
with it.

1415
01:46:04.600 --> 01:46:08.760
That's all I did with my time. Loved it, loved

1416
01:46:08.800 --> 01:46:09.680
every second of it.

1417
01:46:09.680 --> 01:46:17.640
It's weird. I just absolutely loved it. And they never built.

1418
01:46:17.319 --> 01:46:23.920
The Internet the Internet website while I was there, anyway,

1419
01:46:24.800 --> 01:46:27.600
but they did tell people to take it off. I

1420
01:46:27.640 --> 01:46:30.560
didn't take it off mine, and other people didn't take

1421
01:46:30.560 --> 01:46:33.079
it off theirs either, so people were still using it.

1422
01:46:35.399 --> 01:46:37.479
So they just you know, they.

1423
01:46:37.319 --> 01:46:39.720
Were still putting stuff on the Internet like individual where

1424
01:46:39.720 --> 01:46:41.680
they didn't put it in a way that you could

1425
01:46:41.760 --> 01:46:46.560
just find it easily and quickly. So I just continued

1426
01:46:46.640 --> 01:46:51.199
using mine and updating it as I needed it. And

1427
01:46:51.600 --> 01:46:54.680
a year later they still hadn't I think the bloke left,

1428
01:46:55.720 --> 01:46:57.640
they still hadn't put it together.

1429
01:46:58.199 --> 01:47:01.119
I'm sure they have now twenty odd years later, but

1430
01:47:03.399 --> 01:47:05.039
it was it was like a little.

1431
01:47:07.399 --> 01:47:10.840
Quite a nice little moment for me, really, Although to

1432
01:47:10.880 --> 01:47:13.000
start with, I was a little bit concerned I've been

1433
01:47:13.000 --> 01:47:19.079
taken in the room with four men thinking all what

1434
01:47:19.119 --> 01:47:22.920
I've had done. But yeah, it was it was quite cool.

1435
01:47:23.000 --> 01:47:24.199
They just couldn't believe it.

1436
01:47:24.159 --> 01:47:28.399
Like how could you do that on your own? The

1437
01:47:28.479 --> 01:47:35.399
thing is it was quite basic code HTML. It's once

1438
01:47:35.399 --> 01:47:40.079
you see that even now, actually even now I can

1439
01:47:40.640 --> 01:47:43.439
because I use code for my website. It's code is

1440
01:47:43.479 --> 01:47:47.079
already there, but I add my own code and I

1441
01:47:47.079 --> 01:47:49.680
can get chet GPT to make the code. But I

1442
01:47:49.680 --> 01:47:54.199
can change the code. I still know now it's very basic.

1443
01:47:55.079 --> 01:47:58.640
Just by changing the size of things, the color of things.

1444
01:47:59.399 --> 01:48:03.720
I can change the links, so I can play around

1445
01:48:03.720 --> 01:48:08.520
with the code. Even now, even after all those years,

1446
01:48:08.119 --> 01:48:11.479
it is quite it's quite handy. I can read through

1447
01:48:11.520 --> 01:48:17.119
the code and kind of find some stuff, you know,

1448
01:48:18.560 --> 01:48:20.600
even after all those years.

1449
01:48:21.399 --> 01:48:25.720
So a year and a half of obsession, some of

1450
01:48:25.760 --> 01:48:29.760
it did stick. But then again.

1451
01:48:31.039 --> 01:48:33.640
In two thousand and four, I was building my own

1452
01:48:33.640 --> 01:48:37.239
websites as well, so I took a break from building

1453
01:48:37.279 --> 01:48:48.439
websites for two years, so two thousand and two, two thousand, no,

1454
01:48:48.520 --> 01:48:50.720
about a year and a half, two years, and then

1455
01:48:50.760 --> 01:48:55.520
I started again. So in September two thousand and one

1456
01:48:55.640 --> 01:48:57.960
or no, it was a summer two thousand and one,

1457
01:48:58.720 --> 01:49:00.000
I was no longer building website.

1458
01:49:00.079 --> 01:49:01.199
It's because I was evicted.

1459
01:49:02.520 --> 01:49:06.359
And then I moved to a new place and I

1460
01:49:06.399 --> 01:49:11.279
lived there two thousand and one, two thousand and two,

1461
01:49:14.239 --> 01:49:20.600
and probably yeah, two thousand and three I got a

1462
01:49:20.640 --> 01:49:24.279
computer and I started building websites again. And then two

1463
01:49:24.359 --> 01:49:28.720
thousand and four I built a website which was helped

1464
01:49:28.720 --> 01:49:34.920
with pain. And then two thousand and six I built

1465
01:49:34.960 --> 01:49:38.960
my website free Pain Relief dot co dot uk. So

1466
01:49:39.039 --> 01:49:46.880
I built that with code.

1467
01:49:44.119 --> 01:49:51.760
And then eventually I started using website builders because it

1468
01:49:51.800 --> 01:49:55.520
was just easier. It was a lot quicker, so I

1469
01:49:55.560 --> 01:49:59.199
stopped using code. I stopped building them from code, which

1470
01:49:59.279 --> 01:50:00.239
was probably.

1471
01:50:00.479 --> 01:50:04.359
In some ways a mistake, because that was a skill

1472
01:50:04.439 --> 01:50:11.520
that I could have built upon. And I'm not saying

1473
01:50:11.520 --> 01:50:15.000
that I was skillful, but it was definitely some knowledge.

1474
01:50:14.680 --> 01:50:16.439
I had which.

1475
01:50:18.560 --> 01:50:21.439
Everyone was doing something that I really enjoyed doing as well.

1476
01:50:22.640 --> 01:50:24.319
So there's a lot of shouting in the garden, so

1477
01:50:24.359 --> 01:50:28.159
I'm going to go, so thank you for listening. Remember

1478
01:50:28.159 --> 01:50:30.359
to be kind to yourself, because you do deserve to

1479
01:50:30.399 --> 01:50:34.720
be happy. Be gentle with yourself. You do deserve to

1480
01:50:34.760 --> 01:50:48.199
feel safe. Lots of love, bye.

1481
01:50:44.159 --> 01:50:58.720
Relax in a more deep and meaningful way, maybe in

1482
01:50:58.760 --> 01:51:04.359
a way that can not just allow you to feel

1483
01:51:05.680 --> 01:51:14.920
calmer now and throughout the time we spend together here,

1484
01:51:16.960 --> 01:51:22.640
not just relaxed at the end of the recording when

1485
01:51:22.680 --> 01:51:29.359
it's finished and you can enjoy that sense of comfort

1486
01:51:29.520 --> 01:51:44.439
and peace, but also I think it would be nice

1487
01:51:44.520 --> 01:52:00.319
to have those feelings of relaxation continue for long, longer

1488
01:52:03.960 --> 01:52:13.840
after the recording has ended, so that you can still

1489
01:52:14.479 --> 01:52:24.359
benefit from listening to my voice, maybe in a few

1490
01:52:24.399 --> 01:52:40.239
hours time, perhaps tomorrow, and then by listening regularly, especially

1491
01:52:40.279 --> 01:52:44.760
if you find like some people do and myself as well.

1492
01:52:44.920 --> 01:52:51.880
I sometimes I find one particular recording that really resonates

1493
01:52:51.920 --> 01:52:58.319
with me, and I'll just listen to it over and

1494
01:52:58.359 --> 01:53:11.760
over again every morning, every evening. There was this recording

1495
01:53:12.000 --> 01:53:18.279
from We're going back to about nineteen ninety nine. It

1496
01:53:18.439 --> 01:53:24.039
wasn't hypnosis, but it was a guided visualizations. It kind

1497
01:53:24.079 --> 01:53:31.199
of was hypnosis, really, and I managed to find it

1498
01:53:31.239 --> 01:53:35.159
again and it still has the same effect on me.

1499
01:53:37.760 --> 01:53:47.520
And part of it was the person's voice relaxed me,

1500
01:53:51.520 --> 01:53:58.159
just felt so peaceful, and I'd look forward to listening

1501
01:53:58.720 --> 01:54:10.880
to her in the morning and in the evening and

1502
01:54:11.119 --> 01:54:20.279
I knew before even pressing the play button that since

1503
01:54:20.319 --> 01:54:24.760
I've done that, pressed the play button. This is in

1504
01:54:24.800 --> 01:54:39.199
the days of CD players press the play button. If

1505
01:54:39.199 --> 01:54:41.880
that it might have even been a tape tape recorder.

1506
01:54:43.159 --> 01:54:51.560
I'd lie down on the bed and then even without

1507
01:54:52.079 --> 01:55:05.039
necessarily listening to her words because I had to memorized. Really,

1508
01:55:09.720 --> 01:55:15.720
it was as if my body knew exactly what to do,

1509
01:55:20.479 --> 01:55:42.319
and the muscles just almost went into automatic relaxation, and

1510
01:55:42.479 --> 01:55:56.119
I remember my mind would slow down. Now. Now, I

1511
01:55:56.520 --> 01:56:02.760
was listening to this recording in the early days of

1512
01:56:02.840 --> 01:56:13.479
learning hypnosis, and long before I ever made any videos

1513
01:56:13.680 --> 01:56:18.399
or audio recordings myself, because I didn't start doing that

1514
01:56:18.520 --> 01:56:33.000
till two thousand and six, I knew, I knew how

1515
01:56:34.720 --> 01:56:48.520
helpful I found being able to just let go, to

1516
01:56:48.640 --> 01:56:53.840
have that trust in the person that I'm listening to,

1517
01:57:01.479 --> 01:57:08.239
knowing that it's going to be just as relaxing, if

1518
01:57:09.640 --> 01:57:19.039
not more so. Each time you hear my voice. You

1519
01:57:19.119 --> 01:57:30.800
may feel the same. Some people have been listening to

1520
01:57:30.840 --> 01:57:44.720
me for over a decade, maybe not solidly, obviously, not

1521
01:57:44.760 --> 01:57:51.079
twenty four hours a day, but maybe people come back.

1522
01:57:52.920 --> 01:58:06.600
Some people may be listen every day and something that

1523
01:58:06.680 --> 01:58:19.680
I do, which you may not realize by listening. Is

1524
01:58:23.760 --> 01:58:38.119
when I record these recordings now, for example, I also

1525
01:58:39.600 --> 01:58:50.840
am affected by the words that I say. So if

1526
01:58:50.880 --> 01:59:01.239
I set you focus on your feet, notice your feet relaxing,

1527
01:59:04.720 --> 01:59:12.640
I will be focusing on my feet. I will be

1528
01:59:12.720 --> 01:59:30.840
noticing my feet relaxing. If I said, focus on your hands,

1529
01:59:33.600 --> 01:59:43.159
and maybe notice the difference between each hand, perhaps notice

1530
01:59:43.239 --> 01:59:49.319
the air in the room, the temperature of the room.

1531
01:59:51.199 --> 02:00:01.600
On the backs of your hands. You may start to

1532
02:00:02.159 --> 02:00:10.239
notice what almost feels like a very light breeze, even

1533
02:00:10.279 --> 02:00:14.520
though there may not be any type of breeze at

1534
02:00:14.560 --> 02:00:27.560
all where you are right now. And as you become

1535
02:00:28.199 --> 02:00:42.560
aware of your hands, I'm also aware of how relaxed

1536
02:00:42.840 --> 02:01:06.640
my hands are feeling now. And when it comes to

1537
02:01:08.159 --> 02:01:14.199
potentially drifting off to sleep, which may be the reason

1538
02:01:14.520 --> 02:01:30.800
you're listening, I also feel drowsy when I make these recordings.

1539
02:01:35.479 --> 02:01:51.880
I also notice my mind drifting. In fact, at times

1540
02:01:53.960 --> 02:02:08.119
I've actually fallen asleep without even noticing, and then I

1541
02:02:08.239 --> 02:02:19.600
carry on talking. And it's only when I listen back

1542
02:02:19.800 --> 02:02:28.760
to do the editing I hear snoring and I think

1543
02:02:29.199 --> 02:02:38.960
I don't remember snoring. I remember talking. Was this snoring

1544
02:02:39.319 --> 02:02:46.039
was a pick turned up. That's why I sound like

1545
02:02:46.119 --> 02:02:57.239
when I snare and I get really into the whole experience.

1546
02:03:05.159 --> 02:03:14.600
I don't know how you feel, how relaxed you feel

1547
02:03:14.640 --> 02:03:25.239
in your feet, how relaxed you feel in your hands.

1548
02:03:40.319 --> 02:03:52.560
I have noticed more and more that the more relaxed,

1549
02:03:54.279 --> 02:04:10.079
deeper level of comfort you feel, the easier your breathing becomes.

1550
02:04:16.680 --> 02:04:33.319
It's almost like that additional muscle relaxation. So this allows

1551
02:04:33.359 --> 02:05:04.479
you the breath easier without necessarily focusing on your breath, however,

1552
02:05:04.680 --> 02:05:33.479
being able to notice the ease in which you breathe

1553
02:05:33.680 --> 02:06:23.520
so naturally. You breathe so very easily and smoothly. Whenever

1554
02:06:23.640 --> 02:06:42.000
I imagine my breathing improving. When I've got my eyes closed,

1555
02:06:48.000 --> 02:07:00.880
I tend to visualize a beautiful field. We've breeze and

1556
02:07:01.119 --> 02:07:41.560
flowers producing all that life giving oxygen. It feels nice two,

1557
02:07:43.159 --> 02:08:02.119
if nothing else, just taking some time away from everything,

1558
02:08:13.399 --> 02:08:45.960
enjoying that feeling of peace serenity with a joyful heart.

1559
02:09:11.279 --> 02:09:36.800
Time seems to just drip by so very slowly, relaxed,

1560
02:09:42.680 --> 02:10:21.840
so deeply peaceful, completely unattached to any thoughts whatsoever in

1561
02:10:22.000 --> 02:11:33.680
this moment, completely free, noticing that your mind has slowed down,

1562
02:11:34.680 --> 02:12:21.399
slowed down, because nothing really requires your attention, you can

1563
02:12:21.640 --> 02:12:37.760
enjoy the physical sensations of allowing the stress to rip

1564
02:12:38.479 --> 02:12:52.439
out of your body, to appear out of every part

1565
02:12:58.279 --> 02:13:23.039
of your body being released from your brain, ud your

1566
02:13:23.159 --> 02:14:14.359
mind slowly but surely, the muscles in your legs relax

1567
02:14:19.279 --> 02:15:09.479
re so very deeply, res so deeply. And the feelings,

1568
02:15:12.119 --> 02:15:37.039
the pleasant feelings in your arms and shoulders, deepening each

1569
02:15:37.399 --> 02:16:00.319
part of your body further and deeper and deep uh

1570
02:16:14.840 --> 02:16:44.479
noticin the feelings in the back of your neck, the

1571
02:16:44.680 --> 02:17:29.840
feelings in your wrists, muscles in the front of your body.

1572
02:17:34.239 --> 02:18:17.719
I all say, feeling peaceful deeply, There's a sense of

1573
02:18:17.959 --> 02:19:02.440
peace spreads through your very core. Even when you focus

1574
02:19:02.600 --> 02:19:46.120
on your mind, your mind becomes eve and slower, even deeper,

1575
02:20:01.239 --> 02:21:03.760
relax so very slow his stomach, peace fall in your stomach.

1576
02:21:25.879 --> 02:22:00.280
You're back. Notice, Notice how relaxed you'd never feel the

1577
02:22:00.520 --> 02:22:33.879
hole of your back in spy from your brain all

1578
02:22:33.920 --> 02:22:41.559
the way down the middle of your back, sending and

1579
02:22:42.000 --> 02:23:15.840
receiving millions of messages every day, deep comfort, increasing deeply

1580
02:23:16.280 --> 02:24:21.799
relaxed uns legs, spreading those signals down a spine or

1581
02:24:21.920 --> 02:24:45.239
cord into air. Every part of your body, your shins

1582
02:24:45.479 --> 02:25:36.239
and your calf muscles, your elbows, feelings of peace and

1583
02:25:36.360 --> 02:25:49.239
tranquility spreading through your body, tips of.

1584
02:25:49.280 --> 02:26:05.040
Your toes to your eyes. You fear angers all the

1585
02:26:05.120 --> 02:26:06.559
way till you lower back.

1586
02:26:08.559 --> 02:27:19.639
M lettinker rea the thinker peace, m drifting mind just

1587
02:27:20.120 --> 02:27:46.200
wandering away. Happy to let go, let go completely, let go,

1588
02:28:11.600 --> 02:29:09.200
so tranquil, the whole body enjoying a sense of listing. Guy,

1589
02:29:12.719 --> 02:31:08.600
he for more peace, for joy, the space, this space

1590
02:31:11.639 --> 02:33:19.600
of peace and safety, so fary, relaxed, he letting go.

1591
02:33:37.520 --> 02:33:45.120
Maybe we can just focus on the different parts of

1592
02:33:45.239 --> 02:34:19.920
your body, just to notice a forehead and your eyes.

1593
02:34:52.520 --> 02:35:25.520
It tuo say this, noticing the sense of complete freedom,

1594
02:35:37.559 --> 02:37:29.959
absolute freedom, rif drift. He's for energy peace to breeze

1595
02:37:34.079 --> 02:38:44.680
much easier loose. You may have or may not have

1596
02:38:44.920 --> 02:39:46.319
noticed your mind drifting, peaceful move ay even more deeply

1597
02:39:51.760 --> 02:40:39.520
in the direction of total bliss for pace, bliss for pace, terreft,

1598
02:41:27.440 --> 02:42:50.479
total peace. Come soap, letting go, peace, let mind rexed.

1599
02:42:54.559 --> 02:43:53.760
Four day, so relaxed, so relaxed. Your body feels almost invisible.

1600
02:44:08.920 --> 02:45:23.799
So the very relaxed. I'm peaceful, so peace relax. Liquor

1601
02:45:29.360 --> 02:45:35.639
and you could start to notice that you are feeling

1602
02:45:36.000 --> 02:45:47.239
more relaxed, even though I've not purposely focused your mind

1603
02:45:48.159 --> 02:45:55.760
upon that sense of physical comfort that is growing within

1604
02:45:55.840 --> 02:46:05.000
you throughout your body, and your mind starts to slow down,

1605
02:46:09.920 --> 02:46:17.159
and that could be almost in recognition of I guess

1606
02:46:17.520 --> 02:46:30.079
my speech not being particularly fast and things just generally

1607
02:46:31.719 --> 02:46:42.719
feel calmer. Just by listening to my voice, you give

1608
02:46:42.799 --> 02:46:49.719
yourself an opportunity to take a break from the day,

1609
02:46:51.840 --> 02:46:59.360
take a break from your life as it is, and

1610
02:46:59.479 --> 02:47:07.239
to give your self arrest, giving yourself permission to take

1611
02:47:07.319 --> 02:47:12.920
some time off, and to allow your body to relax

1612
02:47:14.600 --> 02:47:22.799
and allow your mind to slow down, which in turn

1613
02:47:25.120 --> 02:47:30.200
releases the tension and he stresses that you had in

1614
02:47:30.239 --> 02:47:40.079
your body. It's almost as if the parts of your

1615
02:47:40.120 --> 02:47:52.159
body just open up, allowing the negativity out and at

1616
02:47:52.159 --> 02:48:02.680
the same time replacing that negativity with positive heathing energy,

1617
02:48:03.520 --> 02:48:08.159
which then fills your body up and your mind to

1618
02:48:09.760 --> 02:48:28.239
also starts to appreciate those feelings of increasing confidence, an

1619
02:48:28.239 --> 02:48:45.360
almost uplifting feeling, positive healing, an energy that spreads through

1620
02:48:45.399 --> 02:48:56.079
your body like a wave of comfort. And all this

1621
02:48:56.399 --> 02:49:08.479
comes from just allowing yourself a few minutes, maybe half

1622
02:49:08.520 --> 02:49:12.360
an hour. However, long you want it to be, to

1623
02:49:12.680 --> 02:49:26.520
just rest and allow your mind and your body to

1624
02:49:26.639 --> 02:49:43.680
almost reset itself to the settings of comfort and relaxation, calmness,

1625
02:49:47.520 --> 02:49:56.920
which allows more room for feelings of pleasure and happiness

1626
02:50:00.920 --> 02:50:09.920
to move around your body and into your mind, almost

1627
02:50:10.520 --> 02:50:15.159
as if your mind and your body are sinking together,

1628
02:50:19.360 --> 02:50:29.120
almost mirroring each other with that growing positivity and calmness,

1629
02:50:34.159 --> 02:50:41.399
And it feels nice. It really does feel nice to

1630
02:50:41.559 --> 02:50:47.319
know that you are the one that has allowed yourself

1631
02:50:50.719 --> 02:51:02.959
to feel more comfort and to experience more of this

1632
02:51:04.719 --> 02:51:20.200
deep relaxation spreading throughout your body, and as I focus

1633
02:51:21.440 --> 02:51:27.440
on each part of your body, you can notice that

1634
02:51:27.440 --> 02:51:44.520
that part becomes even more relaxed just by focusing on it.

1635
02:51:44.520 --> 02:51:54.200
It becomes even more calm and comfortable just by focusing.

1636
02:51:58.200 --> 02:52:03.399
And as I move down on your body, starting at

1637
02:52:03.399 --> 02:52:10.319
your head, the parts that you've already focused on will

1638
02:52:10.479 --> 02:52:19.959
continue to relax deeply, and those parts that we've not

1639
02:52:20.159 --> 02:52:31.760
yet focused on or just automatically release any remain in

1640
02:52:31.799 --> 02:52:45.520
tension in anticipation of even more comfort about to come. Now,

1641
02:52:47.760 --> 02:52:53.959
I'm going to start by focusing on your forehead, just

1642
02:52:54.079 --> 02:53:03.239
being aware the feelings of your forehead and any background

1643
02:53:03.440 --> 02:53:10.440
sounds like mister Herbert the Pigeon can just allow you

1644
02:53:10.520 --> 02:53:18.000
to feel even more relaxed. Just means you're in the moment.

1645
02:53:21.120 --> 02:53:28.200
This isn't this isn't a sterile environment. This is the world.

1646
02:53:29.920 --> 02:53:35.959
I live in the countryside, so there's lots of nature

1647
02:53:36.479 --> 02:53:47.000
sounds around. So as you focus on your forehead, just

1648
02:53:47.239 --> 02:53:55.600
notice how it becomes even more relaxed as you focus

1649
02:53:57.319 --> 02:54:01.840
only on my voice and that part of your body.

1650
02:54:07.000 --> 02:54:16.719
Moving down to your eyes, focusing on your eyes, noticing

1651
02:54:17.760 --> 02:54:27.479
how your eyelids feel so heavy yet so light at

1652
02:54:27.479 --> 02:54:33.959
the same time, and all the muscles around your eyes

1653
02:54:34.200 --> 02:54:48.680
relaxing completely. Moving your focus down to your mouth, your lips,

1654
02:54:49.079 --> 02:54:55.760
your tongue, your teeth, and your gums, the whole of

1655
02:54:55.879 --> 02:55:10.840
your mouth, relaxing, calm and loose. As you focus now

1656
02:55:11.479 --> 02:55:18.360
on your jaw, not just the parts of your jaw

1657
02:55:18.520 --> 02:55:22.920
near your mouth and your chin, but all the way

1658
02:55:23.000 --> 02:55:29.360
up the size of your face to your ears, the

1659
02:55:29.639 --> 02:55:41.079
hole of your jaw, feeding more relaxed.

1660
02:55:44.520 --> 02:55:53.000
And calm.

1661
02:55:53.399 --> 02:56:02.559
Focusing on your neck, the front of your neck and

1662
02:56:02.600 --> 02:56:15.639
your throat, relaxing and loose and calm. The side of

1663
02:56:15.719 --> 02:56:21.040
your neck, the right and left side of your neck

1664
02:56:23.959 --> 02:56:39.799
relax and loose and calm, and now the back of

1665
02:56:39.879 --> 02:56:52.719
your neck, focusing on the back of your neck, letting

1666
02:56:52.920 --> 02:56:57.600
go of any tension that may have been there before,

1667
02:56:59.360 --> 02:57:09.760
and in joy in that sense of increasing comfort and

1668
02:57:10.120 --> 02:57:17.440
release that you can experience in the back of your neck,

1669
02:57:23.719 --> 02:57:30.319
moving down your back and moving either side of your

1670
02:57:30.399 --> 02:57:36.639
spine right from the top of your back all the

1671
02:57:36.719 --> 02:57:49.639
way down to the bottom of your back down to

1672
02:57:49.719 --> 02:57:57.479
your lower back. And as you move up and down

1673
02:57:59.680 --> 02:58:06.360
your spine, you can feel the muscles either side of

1674
02:58:06.360 --> 02:58:21.000
your spine relaxing even more. And as those muscles relax,

1675
02:58:23.079 --> 02:58:31.079
that sense of comfort starts to spread outwards from your

1676
02:58:31.120 --> 02:58:40.680
spine into both sides of your back, the top of

1677
02:58:40.719 --> 02:58:47.680
your back, the middle and your lower back. And as

1678
02:58:47.719 --> 02:58:55.239
you scan gently and slowly up and down your back,

1679
02:58:57.559 --> 02:59:02.000
there's the muscles in the top of your back relax

1680
02:59:02.479 --> 02:59:10.120
and become looser. The muscles in the middle of your

1681
02:59:10.200 --> 02:59:17.639
back also seem to just almost divide from each other,

1682
02:59:18.559 --> 02:59:34.799
separating and almost melting, And in your lower back there

1683
02:59:34.879 --> 02:59:47.559
seems to be an extra special feeling of comfort. The

1684
02:59:47.920 --> 02:59:54.239
spreads into your hips, so down your lower back, into

1685
02:59:54.280 --> 03:00:05.600
your hips, into the area where your cocksix are and

1686
03:00:05.719 --> 03:00:14.639
into your buttocks, and all those muscles that spread from

1687
03:00:14.719 --> 03:00:24.200
your lower back into your hip area start to melt,

1688
03:00:28.639 --> 03:00:41.000
start to really let go. I don't even know where about.

1689
03:00:41.120 --> 03:00:47.479
To focus on your shoulders. Your back, and your spine

1690
03:00:48.159 --> 03:01:04.959
will continue to let go, continue to relax so calmly.

1691
03:01:09.639 --> 03:01:14.600
And as you focus on your shoulders, you may notice

1692
03:01:14.799 --> 03:01:45.520
that they're already feeling really loose. They're already feeding calm,

1693
03:01:45.280 --> 03:01:56.280
and they're feeding those muscles. Then move from your neck

1694
03:01:57.680 --> 03:02:16.520
into your shoulders. Feel so soft and gentle, so smooth

1695
03:02:22.680 --> 03:02:45.200
and calm, and the feeling in your shoulders seems to

1696
03:02:45.639 --> 03:02:54.079
spread deep into your shoulders, that sense of relaxation, not

1697
03:02:54.600 --> 03:03:08.440
just traveling deeply into your muscle, but also relaxing the

1698
03:03:08.559 --> 03:03:18.360
bones and moving all the way to underneath your arms,

1699
03:03:21.079 --> 03:03:27.079
relaxing that whole area between the tops of your shoulders

1700
03:03:28.360 --> 03:03:30.360
and underneath your arms.

1701
03:03:34.159 --> 03:03:34.719
Healing.

1702
03:03:40.120 --> 03:03:53.120
You feel so relaxed and comfortable in your shoulders, which

1703
03:03:53.360 --> 03:04:15.280
sends that deep healing message into your arms, and you

1704
03:04:15.399 --> 03:04:20.680
may feel almost as if your arms are not even

1705
03:04:20.879 --> 03:05:14.399
there because they're so relaxed, so deeply relaxed, so so calm.

1706
03:04:59.600 --> 03:04:59.760
So.

1707
03:05:06.479 --> 03:05:21.559
Loose, not feeling spreading all the way down your arms,

1708
03:05:24.239 --> 03:05:54.639
two elbows, including your elbows, circumforts spreads or away into wrists,

1709
03:05:57.120 --> 03:06:14.680
your forearments injurers, so heavy, yet at the same time

1710
03:06:22.239 --> 03:06:56.959
so light and gentle. Frey. See now on.

1711
03:06:59.040 --> 03:06:59.600
You have.

1712
03:07:21.840 --> 03:07:53.440
My hands so peaceful in your hands. There's a sense

1713
03:07:53.600 --> 03:08:19.559
of real peace. It just seems to feel so familiar

1714
03:08:23.000 --> 03:08:26.760
when your hands relax deeply.

1715
03:08:36.200 --> 03:08:36.520
E is.

1716
03:08:54.200 --> 03:10:31.719
Your things, you things? Sadly you think your tips, moving

1717
03:10:32.040 --> 03:10:50.479
your attention to the front of your body so comfortable,

1718
03:11:01.399 --> 03:12:29.799
Move on your focus, your legs, what musculs in your thighs,

1719
03:12:45.959 --> 03:13:23.600
your knees so relaxed, a calf, mussels and just shins

1720
03:13:27.079 --> 03:15:42.479
co Pusy four, the feathing your feet, Sir, peaceful, so calm,

1721
03:15:47.959 --> 03:16:40.719
so peaceful, So calm, so peaceful, CCM so peace for

1722
03:16:49.559 --> 03:17:13.280
re sin peace for so calm, allowing that deep relaxation

1723
03:17:14.879 --> 03:17:37.159
to spread your chest, in your stomach, letting go of everything.

1724
03:17:48.360 --> 03:17:54.399
So I'm gonna start counting down now, from twenty down

1725
03:17:54.440 --> 03:18:02.600
to one. You can imagine in a way it's like

1726
03:18:03.360 --> 03:18:09.840
just walking down some steps, and each step or twenty steps,

1727
03:18:09.879 --> 03:18:19.280
and each step represents a level of comfort, each step

1728
03:18:19.520 --> 03:18:35.079
represents a deepening of that comfort, and the furvies you

1729
03:18:35.200 --> 03:18:40.600
walk down those steps that are deeper and more relaxed

1730
03:18:40.799 --> 03:20:34.840
you feel so starting with number twenty twenty nineteen, eighteen,

1731
03:20:34.879 --> 03:27:39.280
seventeen sixteen eight fourty four se too well five five

1732
03:28:44.639 --> 03:33:43.120
nine y seven six.

1733
03:33:40.120 --> 03:35:17.040
Five four US.

1734
03:35:21.280 --> 03:36:17.479
USA YO.

1735
03:38:37.719 --> 03:39:44.200
One. And now as you focus on your eyes, we're

1736
03:39:44.239 --> 03:39:56.079
gonna count down from ten outs one, focusing just on

1737
03:39:56.200 --> 03:40:07.200
your eyes, your eyelids, the muscles around your eyes, your

1738
03:40:07.239 --> 03:40:26.520
eye walls themselves, our whole area that makes up your eye.

1739
03:40:27.200 --> 03:40:34.719
And as we count down from ten down to one,

1740
03:40:35.000 --> 03:40:48.000
whilst focus in on your eyes, you'll become twice is

1741
03:40:48.159 --> 03:40:59.879
relaxed with each number counting down, and you may fire

1742
03:41:04.159 --> 03:41:10.000
the all you want to do is just drift off

1743
03:41:10.280 --> 03:41:19.440
to sleep. And if that's what you want, then just

1744
03:41:19.559 --> 03:41:32.680
allow yourself to do that. Now, focus in on your eyes.

1745
03:41:34.760 --> 03:41:40.200
I'm going to begin counting down from ten down to

1746
03:41:40.360 --> 03:42:55.879
one right now, ten nine eight.

1747
03:43:00.520 --> 03:44:48.440
Seven y.

1748
03:45:52.760 --> 03:47:44.479
Five four.

1749
03:48:17.440 --> 03:51:48.399
Three two.

1750
03:50:51.639 --> 03:51:14.319
One two. Counting down from ten to one ten nine

1751
03:51:14.639 --> 03:51:33.719
eight seven six five four three two.

1752
03:51:34.559 --> 03:51:41.200
One.

1753
03:51:41.799 --> 03:51:44.719
And maybe that was a bit too quick in order

1754
03:51:44.760 --> 03:51:48.719
to relax. Maybe it's a bit too fast for you

1755
03:51:49.040 --> 03:51:58.760
to notice the calming of your body. Maybe even a

1756
03:51:58.760 --> 03:52:00.319
little bit of pressure there, like.

1757
03:52:01.399 --> 03:52:03.360
You're counting down from ten to one.

1758
03:52:03.440 --> 03:52:06.840
What you expect me to do, man, expect me to

1759
03:52:06.879 --> 03:52:16.719
stick go floppy just because you're counting down. We could

1760
03:52:16.760 --> 03:52:20.680
try it again, but this time I go this lower.

1761
03:52:22.760 --> 03:52:27.639
This time, as you focus on the whole of your

1762
03:52:27.680 --> 03:52:36.079
body before we focus on your legs. Just notice how

1763
03:52:36.120 --> 03:52:50.239
your body does start to feel more relaxed with every

1764
03:52:50.360 --> 03:53:42.920
number that I count down ten nine, eight, seven, six, five, four,

1765
03:53:50.239 --> 03:54:41.760
three two one, And just notice how how you feel generally,

1766
03:54:42.159 --> 03:54:56.479
how your body feels. It's not necessarily even about counting

1767
03:54:56.600 --> 03:55:03.840
down from ten to one. It's that space that you have,

1768
03:55:05.079 --> 03:55:23.559
that space between being active physically or mentally to just

1769
03:55:28.239 --> 03:55:33.479
sitting or lying down and just being there, not doing anything,

1770
03:55:33.639 --> 03:55:38.399
not saying anything, not needing to think about anything.

1771
03:55:40.200 --> 03:55:43.879
So it opens up a space, you know, a bit

1772
03:55:43.920 --> 03:55:45.200
of a space.

1773
03:55:45.639 --> 03:55:46.120
A gap.

1774
03:55:52.360 --> 03:55:55.920
And the more I came down from ten to one,

1775
03:55:57.079 --> 03:56:05.239
the bigger that gap becomes. So there's that gap of calmness,

1776
03:56:06.559 --> 03:56:22.760
of comfort, relaxation. It's a nice feeling, and it moves

1777
03:56:23.799 --> 03:56:37.479
those stresses or discomforts physically or emotionally, moves them away.

1778
03:56:40.520 --> 03:56:53.239
Allows you to just slow down. Someone to count again

1779
03:56:53.319 --> 03:56:59.559
from ten down to one, and notice that gap widening,

1780
03:57:01.680 --> 03:57:06.120
the gap, and as it widens, it's almost like the

1781
03:57:07.559 --> 03:57:25.440
thestress and attention falls into the gap and gives you

1782
03:57:25.520 --> 03:58:08.000
that distance, that space. Now ten nine eight, seven, six

1783
03:58:20.719 --> 03:59:38.760
five four three h two one. Now, how does your

1784
03:59:40.959 --> 03:59:42.239
body feel.

1785
03:59:44.120 --> 03:59:55.920
Now?

1786
03:59:57.000 --> 04:00:12.319
Can you notice that you're feeling calmer, the feeling more

1787
04:00:12.719 --> 04:00:40.239
relaxed as we now focus on your legs, just your legs.

1788
04:00:56.120 --> 04:01:16.319
We're just gonna start with focusing on your thighs. Of course,

1789
04:01:16.360 --> 04:01:21.239
it's not the most exciting thing to be doing, because

1790
04:01:24.719 --> 04:01:27.440
I'm sure, like most of your body is not a

1791
04:01:27.479 --> 04:01:39.920
lot going on right now. Just focusing on the whole

1792
04:01:40.000 --> 04:01:46.399
of your thighs, the tops of your thighs, the sides

1793
04:01:46.559 --> 04:01:53.639
of your thighs, the bottoms of your thighs, your outer thighs,

1794
04:01:53.639 --> 04:01:58.559
and you're inner thighs, basically the whole of your thigh

1795
04:01:58.680 --> 04:02:07.479
that leads into your hip and it goes down to

1796
04:02:07.680 --> 04:02:21.680
your knee joints. Now, this is a big area. It's

1797
04:02:21.719 --> 04:02:27.280
a very heavy area. It's very strong, probably the strongest

1798
04:02:28.200 --> 04:02:41.440
muscles in your body or in your thighs. But I

1799
04:02:41.479 --> 04:02:49.920
don't think we perhaps give enough attention to our thighs.

1800
04:02:55.719 --> 04:03:06.479
Perhaps we don't acknowledge how important our thighs are to

1801
04:03:06.639 --> 04:03:27.319
our lives, how much they actually do for us all

1802
04:03:27.360 --> 04:03:37.840
through our lives. And it may seem to sound really weird,

1803
04:03:37.920 --> 04:03:46.399
but I think that all of our body parts, especially

1804
04:03:46.399 --> 04:03:54.040
our thighs, need some TLC, a bit of love shown,

1805
04:03:55.040 --> 04:04:13.280
a bit of acknowledgement, thank you, gratitude for what our

1806
04:04:13.399 --> 04:04:22.799
thighs do for us. And I know this may sound

1807
04:04:22.840 --> 04:04:29.159
a bit strange. Maybe you think, why am I surely

1808
04:04:29.200 --> 04:04:31.719
how I should be out in the garden hugging a

1809
04:04:31.799 --> 04:04:40.159
tree or something. Well, it's hard to set a microphone

1810
04:04:40.239 --> 04:04:43.319
up on a tree. That's why I'm doing this indoors.

1811
04:04:43.319 --> 04:04:46.879
Otherwise I would be outside hugging a tree. Now I

1812
04:04:46.920 --> 04:04:55.680
can't see the television from the tree if you move

1813
04:04:55.760 --> 04:05:00.760
down to your knees, getting such an important to part,

1814
04:05:05.040 --> 04:05:10.200
And I think we don't necessarily I'll speak for myself here,

1815
04:05:12.639 --> 04:05:17.760
I don't necessarily appreciate all that my needs do for

1816
04:05:17.840 --> 04:05:24.319
me until I have a problem with my knee. It's occasionally,

1817
04:05:24.399 --> 04:05:29.360
if I ever maybe i'll pash it or it's aching

1818
04:05:29.520 --> 04:05:36.000
for some reason. It's then that I realize how much

1819
04:05:36.040 --> 04:05:40.479
it does. You know, the benefit of being able to

1820
04:05:40.639 --> 04:05:49.879
use my legs without any kind of physical discomfort is

1821
04:05:50.680 --> 04:05:59.440
a beautiful thing that's possibly not appreciated until it's temporarily removed.

1822
04:06:00.520 --> 04:06:07.639
You know that's comfort. But as you focus on your knees,

1823
04:06:09.680 --> 04:06:15.360
regardless of how your knees feel, you can have that

1824
04:06:15.600 --> 04:06:21.799
sense of gratitude and love to your knees for all

1825
04:06:21.879 --> 04:06:34.200
that they do for you. And you can still have

1826
04:06:34.239 --> 04:06:38.479
that attention on your thighs and maybe notice how your

1827
04:06:38.520 --> 04:06:50.399
thighs feel. Maybe you've noticed that they are relaxing more

1828
04:06:52.159 --> 04:07:03.239
deeply as you focus is now on the bottoms of

1829
04:07:03.280 --> 04:07:08.239
your legs, your shins, and your calf muscles, the bones

1830
04:07:09.200 --> 04:07:15.799
between your knees and your feet incorporate, and of course

1831
04:07:15.879 --> 04:07:28.479
your ankles so important. Anyone that's had even like the

1832
04:07:28.520 --> 04:07:35.399
slightest sprain of an ankle knows how how much we

1833
04:07:35.479 --> 04:07:45.760
take our ankles for granted. And it's kind of strange

1834
04:07:45.799 --> 04:07:50.639
in a way when you think that. You know, logically,

1835
04:07:50.959 --> 04:07:54.040
our wrists are a lot thinner than the rest of

1836
04:07:54.079 --> 04:07:58.959
our arms, which is okay, it doesn't can't see any

1837
04:07:58.959 --> 04:08:03.920
problem with that because we're just picking stuff up. But

1838
04:08:04.040 --> 04:08:10.120
our ankles so much thinner than the rest of our legs,

1839
04:08:16.479 --> 04:08:20.920
and from a physics perspective or logical even it doesn't

1840
04:08:20.959 --> 04:08:27.159
really make sense that all this weight would ultimately be

1841
04:08:28.079 --> 04:08:38.159
resting on your ankles then leading to your feet, that

1842
04:08:38.680 --> 04:08:46.920
thin area, a thin bone. Yeah, it does so much

1843
04:08:47.000 --> 04:08:54.079
great work. Supports us, supports our body for a lifetime,

1844
04:08:58.799 --> 04:09:07.959
helps us to balance, It helps you to get her

1845
04:09:08.000 --> 04:09:17.479
around and be mobile. And there's the calf muscles. Of course,

1846
04:09:22.520 --> 04:09:25.040
when I was younger, I couldn't see the point in

1847
04:09:25.079 --> 04:09:31.120
calf muscles. Didn't seem to do anything. Okay, if I

1848
04:09:31.120 --> 04:09:35.120
walked around on tiptoes, then my calf muscles get some work.

1849
04:09:36.479 --> 04:09:39.040
But of course that's not true. The calf muscles are

1850
04:09:39.079 --> 04:09:49.000
being used whenever we use her legs and your shins

1851
04:09:52.239 --> 04:10:01.280
there to protect your lower legs, shaped in a way,

1852
04:10:03.079 --> 04:10:15.239
almost as a protector for the bone, leading of course

1853
04:10:15.280 --> 04:10:25.440
to your ankles and your feet. But we're not going

1854
04:10:25.479 --> 04:10:27.680
to focus on your feet. We're just going to focus

1855
04:10:27.719 --> 04:10:34.360
on the legs. I realize, But now that I've mentioned

1856
04:10:34.399 --> 04:10:39.120
your feet, it probably focuses on them anyway, So maybe

1857
04:10:39.159 --> 04:10:40.959
I should focus on your feet.

1858
04:10:40.719 --> 04:10:41.239
A little bit.

1859
04:10:45.239 --> 04:10:49.719
You can have them in your awareness the same as

1860
04:10:49.760 --> 04:10:54.120
you have your thighs in your awareness. Even though we

1861
04:10:54.239 --> 04:11:00.079
haven't been focusing on your thighs a few minutes that

1862
04:11:00.200 --> 04:11:11.159
we're focusing on your ankles. There's still that sensation of

1863
04:11:14.319 --> 04:11:27.120
comfort in your thighs, and there's that movement of energy

1864
04:11:29.159 --> 04:11:36.200
because the thighs hold lots of different sensations. Of course,

1865
04:11:36.239 --> 04:11:41.040
there's the muscles, the big strong muscles that we have

1866
04:11:41.200 --> 04:11:54.600
in our thighs, but the skin on the outside of

1867
04:11:54.639 --> 04:11:58.440
the thighs, as in the outside.

1868
04:11:57.879 --> 04:11:59.760
Of all of our.

1869
04:11:59.600 --> 04:12:11.479
Body, can be very sensitive, sensitive to the touch, sensitive

1870
04:12:11.559 --> 04:12:25.959
to temperature, and inside your thighs the bones, there's the muscle,

1871
04:12:26.159 --> 04:12:31.280
there's the blood, vessels, the archrees, to all this stuff

1872
04:12:31.399 --> 04:12:40.120
that's inside your thighs. And I guess sometimes it'd be

1873
04:12:40.200 --> 04:12:44.399
nice if you could actually put your fingers inside your

1874
04:12:44.399 --> 04:12:50.639
thighs and a message, so you can message on the outside,

1875
04:12:50.879 --> 04:12:53.799
of course, but to be able to get deep into

1876
04:12:53.840 --> 04:12:58.680
the muscles and to be able to just message inside

1877
04:12:58.719 --> 04:13:05.760
your thighs, message in the bones of your leg, message

1878
04:13:05.799 --> 04:13:15.200
in or the veins, and just gently heathing your thighs

1879
04:13:18.959 --> 04:13:24.319
and you could move down message and inside your knees,

1880
04:13:25.680 --> 04:13:32.520
just message in those bones. But with healing fingertips, spreading

1881
04:13:32.600 --> 04:13:38.440
that healing energy deep into the joints of your knees.

1882
04:13:43.760 --> 04:13:47.440
Of course, there's the back of your your knee, you know,

1883
04:13:47.559 --> 04:13:53.559
the inside crease where your knee is. It's a very

1884
04:13:53.760 --> 04:13:59.760
sensitive area. Very it feels very nice when you stroke it.

1885
04:14:01.040 --> 04:14:04.440
That might be because it's an area that's not really

1886
04:14:04.600 --> 04:14:11.120
touched very often. It's almost like a hidden part, that

1887
04:14:11.399 --> 04:14:18.440
crease in your legs. It's almost like a part that.

1888
04:14:20.120 --> 04:14:22.280
Has a sensitivity, which.

1889
04:14:22.079 --> 04:14:32.559
Is a little bit different. Of course, it's protected by

1890
04:14:32.559 --> 04:14:44.040
your legs, So you can imagine putting your fingers into

1891
04:14:44.079 --> 04:14:53.799
that crease in your legs. Fold in between your legs,

1892
04:14:54.479 --> 04:14:59.120
you can just message with your fingertips. Imagine your fingertips

1893
04:14:59.200 --> 04:15:09.799
going in massage in the muscle tissue. You can of

1894
04:15:09.840 --> 04:15:16.959
course field the bones of your knees, healing through your fingertips.

1895
04:15:24.319 --> 04:15:29.680
And then as you go down to your calf muscles,

1896
04:15:30.000 --> 04:15:31.799
and that's the part I'd like to be able to

1897
04:15:32.559 --> 04:15:39.959
really put my fingertips deep inside my calf muscles, massage

1898
04:15:40.000 --> 04:15:49.120
in every single tissue of that muscle, healing every part.

1899
04:15:55.040 --> 04:16:01.200
And then doing the same for my shins, massage in

1900
04:16:01.319 --> 04:16:08.920
and gently stroking the bones, gently stroking them, healing in

1901
04:16:08.920 --> 04:16:16.120
a loving way, because they deserve to be treated as

1902
04:16:16.200 --> 04:16:20.239
the precious bones that they are, because our legs are

1903
04:16:20.280 --> 04:16:24.120
so precious as in all the other parts of our body,

1904
04:16:26.600 --> 04:16:29.000
and more precious of anyture.

1905
04:16:31.000 --> 04:16:31.760
On the planet.

1906
04:16:40.120 --> 04:16:52.040
When you start to think about your legs in this way,

1907
04:16:52.879 --> 04:16:59.559
it can change your perspective. It might sound a bit

1908
04:17:02.639 --> 04:17:06.920
a bit silly to start with the idea of having

1909
04:17:07.799 --> 04:17:17.799
love for your legs, showing appreciation for your thighs, wanting

1910
04:17:17.920 --> 04:17:21.959
to be able to put your hands in your thighs

1911
04:17:23.760 --> 04:17:30.239
the message the muscles and the bones, and to get

1912
04:17:30.280 --> 04:17:38.639
your fingers deep in there, releasing all tension, just to

1913
04:17:38.760 --> 04:17:48.159
show how much you care about your legs, how much

1914
04:17:48.239 --> 04:17:53.959
you care for what your legs do for you regularly,

1915
04:17:56.319 --> 04:18:06.559
your knees, your calves, your ankle, the strength of your ankles,

1916
04:18:09.440 --> 04:18:14.159
considering how thin they are compared to the rest of

1917
04:18:14.200 --> 04:18:24.040
your legs, especially of thighs. Yeah, they're so strong, so flexible,

1918
04:18:27.799 --> 04:18:30.239
absolutely amazing things.

1919
04:18:31.440 --> 04:18:38.360
Your ankles are truly a gift.

1920
04:18:40.280 --> 04:18:49.440
Because of what they do for you, supporting all that weight,

1921
04:18:51.399 --> 04:18:55.799
regardless of how what weight you are, even if you

1922
04:18:55.920 --> 04:19:02.559
only eight stone, still on wait for these little ankles.

1923
04:19:06.120 --> 04:19:08.399
Now, I'm a lot heavier than eight Snoon.

1924
04:19:09.799 --> 04:19:19.000
Double down yet my ankles support my body all the time,

1925
04:19:22.760 --> 04:19:25.719
or they do give off a sigh of relief when

1926
04:19:25.719 --> 04:19:30.799
I sit down, as you've got my whole legs do

1927
04:19:34.479 --> 04:19:39.959
my feet feet also go, my toes clap.

1928
04:19:41.120 --> 04:20:00.719
I'm so happy.

1929
04:20:01.639 --> 04:20:10.840
Your legs really are amazing. And I know that talking

1930
04:20:10.920 --> 04:20:17.360
about talking about your legs is probably possibly among the

1931
04:20:17.399 --> 04:20:23.000
most most boring things you've ever heard anyone say. Possibly

1932
04:20:25.879 --> 04:20:32.600
you're boring or not. Everything I said is true. Your

1933
04:20:32.680 --> 04:20:53.280
legs are amazing. Your legs deserve not just respect, they

1934
04:20:53.319 --> 04:21:05.920
deserve to relax deeply. They deserve to take some time

1935
04:21:06.000 --> 04:21:07.479
out of the day.

1936
04:21:09.479 --> 04:21:31.520
To just let go completely. The legs.

1937
04:21:35.680 --> 04:21:48.959
Really can relax. And because the legs are so such

1938
04:21:49.000 --> 04:21:53.520
a most you know, very important part of your body.

1939
04:21:54.799 --> 04:21:57.399
When you relax your legs, the rest of your body

1940
04:21:58.040 --> 04:22:16.840
also naturally follows in that journey of comfort. I can

1941
04:22:16.920 --> 04:22:21.920
feel it in my hips. My hips feel really loose,

1942
04:22:25.159 --> 04:22:26.079
and also.

1943
04:22:25.840 --> 04:22:27.000
My lwer back as well.

1944
04:22:29.000 --> 04:22:34.760
My lower back really feels it feels stretched, even though

1945
04:22:34.760 --> 04:22:38.440
I'm just sitting in a chair and there's no stretching

1946
04:22:41.120 --> 04:22:44.280
as far as I'm aware that I'm doing. It's almost

1947
04:22:44.319 --> 04:22:48.159
as if the muscles are just relaxed, so much that

1948
04:22:48.239 --> 04:22:55.959
there is a natural stretch as the tension has reduced

1949
04:22:56.760 --> 04:23:15.360
a lot. And I'm now going to count down from

1950
04:23:15.959 --> 04:23:25.040
ten down to one, and you can continue to fill

1951
04:23:26.799 --> 04:24:07.559
wonderfully relaxed ten nine eight, seven, six, five four three tube.

1952
04:24:07.959 --> 04:24:25.719
Why relaxed. So I'm just going to count down and

1953
04:24:25.920 --> 04:24:30.440
fire down to one. And as a countdown, if you

1954
04:24:30.600 --> 04:24:37.520
just focus on the numbers, just the numbers counting down,

1955
04:24:38.520 --> 04:24:47.719
and notice how you feel in this moment as you

1956
04:24:47.799 --> 04:24:55.360
hear the numbers counting down, knowing that those numbers counting

1957
04:24:55.399 --> 04:25:05.639
down represent you feeling calmer, not just in your body,

1958
04:25:05.719 --> 04:25:14.079
but also relaxing your mind. I just notice how you feel.

1959
04:25:15.000 --> 04:25:21.000
There's nothing to do, there's nothing to say, there's nothing

1960
04:25:21.040 --> 04:26:12.680
to think about, starting with number five four three two one.

1961
04:26:13.520 --> 04:26:25.360
And as you notice the gradual letting go that the

1962
04:26:25.520 --> 04:26:33.159
tension in your body, you may also begin to notice

1963
04:26:33.239 --> 04:26:41.760
and be aware of how your mind is starting to

1964
04:26:41.799 --> 04:26:48.440
slow down. This is just a natural thing that happens.

1965
04:26:51.000 --> 04:26:56.239
It's not really a special procedure. It's just natural because

1966
04:26:56.280 --> 04:27:02.239
as your body relaxes, your mind also starts to relax.

1967
04:27:03.799 --> 04:27:07.440
And the more your mind relaxes, the more your body relaxes.

1968
04:27:07.559 --> 04:27:18.239
It's just a continuous circle of relaxation, and there's that

1969
04:27:19.360 --> 04:27:27.200
calmness that comes from relative quietness. You know, even even

1970
04:27:27.239 --> 04:27:34.280
if there's background sounds either your side, online, it's still

1971
04:27:34.719 --> 04:27:40.040
going to be quite calm. You know, you haven't got

1972
04:27:40.040 --> 04:27:45.200
the television on, there's no music in the background unless

1973
04:27:45.200 --> 04:27:52.639
you're listening to the recording. With music, of course, you're

1974
04:27:52.799 --> 04:27:54.959
very likely not going to be sitting in a room

1975
04:27:55.000 --> 04:27:59.600
with other people. Of course you might be, but generally

1976
04:27:59.680 --> 04:28:02.879
it's more ideal if you can do this on your own,

1977
04:28:04.559 --> 04:28:14.719
so no distractions, and when you stop thinking about stuff,

1978
04:28:21.200 --> 04:28:31.520
relaxation automatically rises. A sense of comfort starts to grow,

1979
04:28:36.000 --> 04:28:42.719
and without trying to build it up into something fantastical

1980
04:28:43.040 --> 04:28:54.840
or something magical, this is just a natural process, something

1981
04:28:54.959 --> 04:29:05.200
that's easy to accomplish. In fact, it's almost you know,

1982
04:29:05.280 --> 04:29:12.159
the sense of relaxing completely happens really when you put

1983
04:29:12.319 --> 04:29:16.200
no effort into it. It's not something that you can

1984
04:29:16.280 --> 04:29:28.280
really force. It's something that happens naturally. And part of

1985
04:29:28.319 --> 04:29:39.280
the process of this recording and others is simply two

1986
04:29:40.120 --> 04:29:50.600
allow you to take advantage of this space. This time,

1987
04:29:53.399 --> 04:30:04.639
it's just let go to just be here, to be

1988
04:30:05.040 --> 04:30:18.479
in tune with how you feel, yet with the intention

1989
04:30:20.719 --> 04:30:32.200
of wanting to relax deeply and maybe even to fall asleep,

1990
04:30:33.319 --> 04:30:38.559
depending on what it is that you wish for yourself

1991
04:30:40.280 --> 04:30:56.319
in this moment. As we know, relaxing is the majority

1992
04:30:56.559 --> 04:31:01.000
of the process of falling asleep. Yeah, have fallen asleep.

1993
04:31:01.079 --> 04:31:07.879
Part is the tiny bit at the end. The deeper

1994
04:31:09.200 --> 04:31:31.639
relaxed you become, the easier you find yourself drifting. You

1995
04:31:31.719 --> 04:31:38.719
can also, if you choose, stay focused on my voice

1996
04:31:40.520 --> 04:32:11.959
and really enjoy the process gradually relaxing each muscle in

1997
04:32:12.120 --> 04:32:39.399
your body effortlessly and just observing the sensation of letting

1998
04:32:39.600 --> 04:32:46.879
go completely.

1999
04:32:52.920 --> 04:32:54.879
This time on an account, from.

2000
04:32:54.920 --> 04:33:04.759
Six down to one, and you can notice your.

2001
04:33:04.759 --> 04:33:15.040
Mind calming down more with each number that you hear

2002
04:33:15.400 --> 04:33:31.919
me say, naturally, feeling calm and slow and be peaceful.

2003
04:33:37.240 --> 04:36:42.080
Sex five, four, three, USAA.

2004
04:36:03.479 --> 04:36:31.799
What being aware how your mind to slow.

2005
04:36:33.720 --> 04:36:59.880
Right down, sinking deeply into relaxation. And as your foot

2006
04:37:00.279 --> 04:37:06.159
on your mind, you may notice that.

2007
04:37:08.080 --> 04:37:16.159
There's some thoughts still there, maybe some stubborn thoughts that.

2008
04:37:18.599 --> 04:37:24.159
For some reason perhaps need your attention.

2009
04:37:31.159 --> 04:37:32.520
So what you can do is.

2010
04:37:38.000 --> 04:37:50.479
Send love to those thoughts. Sprinkle those thoughts with love.

2011
04:37:52.159 --> 04:37:56.400
I Doll petals from a flower. Just sprinkle it over them,

2012
04:37:57.880 --> 04:38:06.000
petals filled with love towards those thoughts to let those thoughts.

2013
04:38:05.880 --> 04:38:06.279
Know that.

2014
04:38:08.439 --> 04:38:12.360
It's a lot of banding the number. You just need

2015
04:38:12.520 --> 04:38:14.000
them to.

2016
04:38:14.119 --> 04:38:25.639
Require them to just calm down, slow down, quiet down,

2017
04:38:29.560 --> 04:38:30.080
and now.

2018
04:38:37.840 --> 04:38:42.840
So as you focus on those remaining thoughts as we

2019
04:38:43.000 --> 04:38:48.240
count down this time from seven down to one. With

2020
04:38:48.400 --> 04:39:02.240
each number, just imagine sprinkling those flower petals of love, kindness,

2021
04:39:03.880 --> 04:39:15.720
gratitude over those thoughts, which will allow them to just

2022
04:39:17.159 --> 04:39:32.479
melt away and relax deeply. Every number, those thoughts will

2023
04:39:32.560 --> 04:40:27.680
become more and more relaxed, starting with number seven, six, five.

2024
04:40:40.680 --> 04:41:58.959
Four one.

2025
04:42:15.880 --> 04:42:16.720
As you now.

2026
04:42:20.880 --> 04:42:42.080
Notice how relaxed you're feeling in your body, we're going

2027
04:42:42.200 --> 04:42:43.639
to focus.

2028
04:42:47.080 --> 04:42:56.759
On your hands. Is the more relaxed your hands are,

2029
04:42:59.080 --> 04:43:03.000
the more relax because your body and mind.

2030
04:43:17.919 --> 04:43:18.520
And there's.

2031
04:43:20.040 --> 04:43:30.200
You focus on your hands and your fingers. There's nothing

2032
04:43:30.680 --> 04:43:35.439
needed to be done. There's no clenching of fists or

2033
04:43:36.520 --> 04:43:38.360
dancing the fingers.

2034
04:43:38.080 --> 04:43:38.840
Or anything like that.

2035
04:43:40.080 --> 04:43:41.799
Mm hmmm mmmm.

2036
04:43:46.319 --> 04:44:00.119
It's just noticing and focusing on your hands, notice and

2037
04:44:00.319 --> 04:44:00.799
how they.

2038
04:44:01.040 --> 04:44:16.400
Feel the kiss.

2039
04:44:16.520 --> 04:44:17.439
The more.

2040
04:44:19.279 --> 04:44:28.240
Relaks Jr. Hands feel, the calmly your mind feels.

2041
04:44:29.720 --> 04:44:31.080
And the more.

2042
04:44:33.639 --> 04:44:44.680
Comforts you feel around your body, and ge.

2043
04:44:47.279 --> 04:44:50.000
May have.

2044
04:44:54.000 --> 04:44:58.479
Already noticed.

2045
04:45:02.200 --> 04:45:07.639
You mind.

2046
04:45:10.520 --> 04:45:14.919
Is starting.

2047
04:45:17.799 --> 04:45:18.560
To dress.

2048
04:45:32.319 --> 04:45:46.439
Like you said, just on your hands and fingers, allowing.

2049
04:45:46.439 --> 04:45:48.400
Them cheat.

2050
04:45:50.200 --> 04:46:00.080
Experience how real deepening of that relaxation.

2051
04:46:00.799 --> 04:46:03.159
In your hands and fingers.

2052
04:46:08.680 --> 04:46:13.959
More and more relaxed.

2053
04:46:18.759 --> 04:46:20.119
Each number.

2054
04:46:27.680 --> 04:46:28.560
From eight.

2055
04:46:30.799 --> 04:46:31.639
Down to one.

2056
04:46:36.759 --> 04:46:37.959
You can almost.

2057
04:46:39.360 --> 04:46:41.840
View that healing.

2058
04:46:42.919 --> 04:46:54.759
And relaxing energy spreading into your hands and fingers becoming

2059
04:46:59.240 --> 04:47:08.639
ye oh, relaxing with each number.

2060
04:47:15.240 --> 04:47:16.279
Coming down.

2061
04:47:18.159 --> 04:47:30.479
Eight down to one, to drift in, to rift in again,

2062
04:47:35.400 --> 04:47:36.400
starting with.

2063
04:47:41.000 --> 04:47:49.400
Number eights.

2064
04:50:00.319 --> 04:51:38.319
As just being here now.

2065
04:51:41.799 --> 04:51:47.880
Nothing to think about, nothing to do, nothing to say,

2066
04:51:52.400 --> 04:51:55.840
everything just fears calm.

2067
04:52:00.880 --> 04:52:08.599
This is the natural state to being. This is how

2068
04:52:08.759 --> 04:52:11.159
you just normally feel.

2069
04:52:12.799 --> 04:52:13.919
You take away.

2070
04:52:16.439 --> 04:53:10.040
Stop spirits and sense which comes to very quickly is

2071
04:53:10.240 --> 04:53:13.240
also mess.

2072
04:53:25.799 --> 04:53:26.880
Doing son, so

2073
04:53:29.040 --> 04:53:42.080
Specially the