Aug. 22, 2025

(no music) (5 hours) Q&A Friday | LMBYTS #1419 | Jason Newland | 22nd August 2025

(no music) (5 hours) Q&A Friday | LMBYTS #1419 | Jason Newland | 22nd August 2025
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WEBVTT

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Hello, and welcome to Jasondewland dot com. My name's Jason

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new Land.

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Please only listen when you can safely closure eyes. And

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this is Q and a Friday.

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Yees it is Q and ae Q and aqe and

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no Friday.

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Ooh.

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Vinny is on the floor and he is chomping on

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a bony thing. So he's a he's a happy little bunny.

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He's had a good day.

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He sat.

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We went to the pet shop or he equals it

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the sweet shop a couple of hours ago, and it

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just yeah, got him a few bits and bobs and

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he's very happy.

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He got to carry one home and he was like

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the proudest little doggie in the whole wide world. It's

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almost like he won the lottery.

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Couldn't be happier as The happiest I'll ever see is

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when he's doing that.

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So happy. Yeah, so yeah, Q and a Friday. I

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did promise that I would do. Oh oh, go, I'm

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trying to go to the page.

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Okay, two hundred and twenty one members. I'm sure I

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had two hundred and twenty two members yesterday. Okay, this

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is my Jason Newland's boring group John. If you want

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to if you want to. If you don't want to,

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then don't. But if you do want to, then do

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So let's have a look.

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I've got a lot of questions to get through. So

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what I'm going to do is.

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Ask the very first question, which I said I'd promised

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that I would ask first. Okay, yeah, Megan. So I've

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got questions from Ing, Ing, Christine, Meghan, Christine again, Robin, Hillary, Hope, Marry, Julie, Karen,

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and Rich. If for any reason I have missed out anybody,

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then let me know and I'll lead you a question

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for next week. I've tried to kind of get questions

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from different places wherever I've been sent them into one place.

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So starting off with Megan, I hope you're all well, yeah,

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I just had a delivery of all the because I've

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been trying to stock up for the winter like a

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big fat bear that I am, and it's going quite well,

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actually it's quite It feels fairly nice, you know, to

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know that all the stuff.

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Is well, not everything I need, but a lot of

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stuff that I need like soap, washing up, liquid, tea bags,

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toilet roll, wet wipes, toothpaste, soap, deodorant and trying to

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think what else. That's pretty much it. But all that

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stuff's now, i haven't got to buy anymore for the year,

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for the rest of the year, so it's all all done,

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and you know, I can't even And I've got a

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lot of water as well.

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So one, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight nineteen.

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I've probably got about thirty days worth of world water.

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So it's you know, it's it's good. I'm pleased with

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that because I'm trying to just plan ahead, you know,

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because it's okay to not have any money. It's not okay,

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but you know, it's one thing not having much money.

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But if I've got what I need, then it doesn't

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matter that much, you know. If all I've got to

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do is just get the very the beare basics food wise,

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you know, I can go and get some pasta and

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some milk, and you know it. It's it's just this

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is what I used to do in the past, stock

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up for like a year ahead, and it was nice.

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I just had it all day and I didn't have

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to think about it. I mean, in twenty twenty, I

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had enough toilet paper because some of my listeners sent

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me toilet paper in I had enough toilet paper to

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last me for about six months, maybe a year. Honestly,

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it was brilliant anyway, Vennias make a lot of weird,

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grunty noises. You're okay, Vin, You're right, okay, always frowning.

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He's got a permanent frown in his face. Okay.

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So, Megan, I always want to ask a question, but

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I know it will never I never hear the answer

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because I fall asleep within the first ten minutes.

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Hopefully you get to hear the answer for this one,

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but I'll give it a go. You may be nice

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as before, but if you could eat one meal for

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the rest of your life, what would it be? For

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the record, mine would be Jack of potato, baked beans, coalslaw,

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and in an ideal world where I was allowed to

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eat it, loads and loads of cheese and yeah, I'd

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add my coalslaw and beans on the same plate. And

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it does go before anyone tells me otherwise. I hope

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you're doing okay, Thanks, Megan. I hope you are as well.

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I agree with you the last bit. It does go together.

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Why would why would it have to be on a

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separate plate? Mind you, if you go.

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Into a restaurant I say restaurant, I mean probably pub

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pub food, but there's sometimes you do get the cold

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slaw be on a little plate on its side when

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there like a little dish. Yeah, I like to mix

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things up, really, yeah, I.

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Like to mix things up. I like to mix things up.

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I'm just just checking something here because it's weird. But

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the hold on a second.

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Yeah, I just had to check something quickly because I

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thought the microphone wasn't working.

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But it does seem to be so the same meal

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every day.

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I'd probably go for a roast dinner like a Christmas dinner. Yeah,

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I mean I think if I had to have the

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same thing every day, the same meal every day, I

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probably would get a little bit bored. However, with a

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Christmas dinner, there's quite a lot of different things. So

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if I wasn't, you know, it'd be a big lots

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you know, turnips, turnips, parsnips, rather parsnips, every single vegetable,

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mashed potato, roast potato, Yorkshire puddings.

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Galore, and see, yeah, it'd be a plenty. You know.

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I could kind of if I was in a non

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roast potato day, I could just not eat the roast potatoes, so.

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It'd be a big plate and the dessert as well

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with ice cream. So I guess Christmas pudding with ice cream.

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Yeah, I could do that, although.

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I think if I was going to have something, i'd

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probably go more for something like an apple pie and

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ice cream or yeah, something like that. Yeah, I think

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so it be I think a roast dinner. I do

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like a roast inner, and I really have one, but yeah,

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I think that's what I would choose every day this

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although a roasting is not my favorite food, which makes

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makes you wonder why am I choosing that? But if

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I chose kind of my one of my favorite things,

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I don't. I like pizza, but I don't like eating

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pizza too often.

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Because it's a treat. You know, sweet corn and pineapple

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pizza is a treat. If I had it every day,

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i'd get very bored of it very quickly. Even if

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I had it twice a week, that would be too much.

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Once a week, yeah, once a week's okay, on a

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Saturday maybe, although I haven't done that for a bit.

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You used to do that, because before I moved here,

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I used to get a pizza delivered, large pizza for

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ten pounds because they did a discount.

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And it was like great, and then they put them

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up to like seventeen pound and now I think it's

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like twenty five pounds to get our pizza delivered like

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a large pizza. I know it's a ten year period,

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but blimey blim in eck. So that's a big increase,

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isn't it.

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So yeah, that's kind of.

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I'd like to have a menu. I think if I

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could like have a menu, the same menu for every

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day with lots of different options, that would suit me better.

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But at the same time, I do kind of eat

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the same things every day. So if you was to say,

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what would I have for breakfast every day? Well, I

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do have the same thing for breakfast every day, and

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it's ready break with some dried fruit on top. So

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I have that every single morning, and it's my favorite

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meal of the day, if I'm honest. That's the one

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thing I probably enjoy most because I've gone like, you know,

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eight ten whatever hours about eating and yeah, I enjoy

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that meal. It's not a meal, is it, But I

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enjoy that little bit of food.

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Is it food? It's already break food? Yeah, hmm, I

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think that'd be it. However, if it was like what.

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I don't know how much I'd enjoy eating it every

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day though. M Yeah, I'm going to stick with that.

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A roast dinner, but you know, with lots of guards

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and side plates with stuff, you know, it's like Yorkshire

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put in as many as I want. Yeah, so it'd

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be a meal, but it'd be on a table. Vinnie,

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please don't bark, Please makee please don't know. Don't turn

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your head because you're trying to hear. More so, I'm

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trying to stop him from barking, and he's listening, but

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he's turned his head now, like with his ears flicked up.

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Don't there's nothing of interest to hear, Vinnie.

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You've got me listen. You listen to me and be

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bored like everyone else. Come on, don't need you need

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to be barking. He's been very playful today. It's been nice.

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So I hope I answered your question, Megan. I don't

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know if I have, but I hope I have. It's yeah,

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I think I'm going to go for roast dinner Christmas dinner,

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but without the hat, without the Christmas crackers.

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Yeah, do you know? At Christmas? Right? I my.

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Three of my family members came down to where I lived,

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my town. It was beginning of Chris. It was like,

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I don't know, second first week of December something like that.

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On a Saturday, I couldn't book the place we normally

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go to, you know when we meet out for a

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cup of coffee or whatever.

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So what I did is.

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Because it was full up, like Christmas dinners were booked.

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So I contacted the local pub well just up the road,

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and they said and I did it online. They said, yeah, yes, fine,

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what do you want to order? And I ordered the food,

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Christmas dinner and everything.

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Expecting when I got there that it was going to

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be full of people having the Christmas dinner and it wasn't.

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It was just had a few people in there drinking,

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and we were the only table decorated for Christmas, all

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the tables that are in there, because it's quite a

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big pub with like a restaurant area as well, two

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restaurant areas actually, and I felt very self conscious, I

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really did. I didn't.

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I don't like, I don't know, being in public, and

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it almost might as well just have a big sign

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saying look at us, look at us.

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So I didn't. I couldn't relax.

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I couldn't relax, to be honest, that I just couldn't

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because I was in public and my dad insisted on

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me wearing a Christmas hat because he wanted to have

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picture took and stuff like. I don't mind if it's

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at home, if it's you know, inside a private place,

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but I don't wear it. I don't want to wear

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a Christmas hat in public. Just it's just my little thing.

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I just don't. Yeah, it just doesn't fit well with me.

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But at the same time, it was.

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Still nice to see them, but just it wasn't didn't

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kind of go how I was expecting, right, inc asks me,

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do you prefer personal questions or general ones? Do you

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have questions that you didn't answer before because they were

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too personal?

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Did I have any questions?

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Well, I can't tell you what those questions are, can I?

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Because they were personal. And I don't mind what kind

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of questions I get. Really, I don't mind. If there's

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one I don't want to answer, then I'll just be

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vague and and I'll just make it a.

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Very short question.

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You have very short answer right next, Christine, I'm joking, So, yeah,

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I'm trying to think of any personal questions that I

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wasn't able to ask answer other I don't. I can't

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think of any offhand. There's been some questions put to

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me that were worded very very unusual, and I.

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Didn't quite understand really what the where the question was

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coming from. That's quite rare. It's just my lack of

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not really getting what the question was.

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No, not really, I don't think there's been anything bearing

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in mind, I talk about my personal life and my

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personal thoughts, and I talk about bipolar and I talk

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about all my little bits and stuff that's going on

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in my life. All very boring stuff, of course, but

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I'm fairly open with what's going on.

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So yeah, I'm it's yeah, I'm okay with any questions.

238
00:17:54.960 --> 00:17:56.480
If this one I don't want to answer, I just

239
00:17:56.519 --> 00:17:59.559
won't answer it, to be honest with you. If it's

240
00:17:59.640 --> 00:18:05.599
if the something that, but I haven't really had anything

241
00:18:05.640 --> 00:18:08.319
like that. No one's just come out and asked me

242
00:18:08.359 --> 00:18:12.559
a rude question. So it's but then I wouldn't expect

243
00:18:12.640 --> 00:18:19.039
that because this is my Facebook group, and I wouldn't

244
00:18:19.039 --> 00:18:22.240
expect someone on this group to be having a go

245
00:18:22.359 --> 00:18:25.920
at me. I'd like to think they wouldn't please don't

246
00:18:26.000 --> 00:18:27.519
just love me, please love me.

247
00:18:29.759 --> 00:18:36.039
So yeah, I can't think of anything that I didn't answer.

248
00:18:36.640 --> 00:18:42.799
I think my brother's a bit of a touchy subject,

249
00:18:42.960 --> 00:18:46.480
to be fair, like family stuff, I don't really I know.

250
00:18:46.519 --> 00:18:48.640
I've talked about my dad a little bit, talked about

251
00:18:48.640 --> 00:18:52.559
my stepmums, but I don't really go into any kind

252
00:18:52.599 --> 00:18:57.960
of detail, and I don't go into detail about my

253
00:18:58.160 --> 00:19:03.160
family or that dog that's by bless him. The counselors

254
00:19:03.160 --> 00:19:07.400
started working on the flat downstairs, so I'm sure I

255
00:19:07.400 --> 00:19:08.480
heard someone shout.

256
00:19:08.240 --> 00:19:14.680
Out, what's all this pain doing everywhere? Because someone's like

257
00:19:14.880 --> 00:19:18.839
sprayed paint all in the hallway and stuff. I don't

258
00:19:18.839 --> 00:19:29.200
know why, bless him. Oh yeah, the uncle sausages funerals

259
00:19:29.279 --> 00:19:32.359
next Thursday. So that's all gone ahead now. So it's

260
00:19:32.400 --> 00:19:36.720
definitely going to go ahead because we managed to find

261
00:19:37.480 --> 00:19:42.319
the correct information. So yeah, it's definitely going ahead on Thursday,

262
00:19:42.480 --> 00:19:46.880
next Thursday, so I possibly won't be making a recording

263
00:19:46.960 --> 00:19:50.559
that day, and I've got to find a way to

264
00:19:50.559 --> 00:19:53.359
get out of bed on that morning. I don't know how.

265
00:19:54.359 --> 00:19:57.839
The twenty eighth, so it's two days after my birthday, Yeah,

266
00:19:58.480 --> 00:20:05.440
fifty five years old on Tuesday. This coming Tuesday fifty

267
00:20:05.480 --> 00:20:11.559
five fifty five. Even if you say it quick, it

268
00:20:11.799 --> 00:20:16.960
still sounds old. Fifty five, so still sounds old. Oh,

269
00:20:18.599 --> 00:20:23.119
so Christine asked me, does the chippy van still come

270
00:20:23.240 --> 00:20:27.400
to your flats? Yeah, I mean it doesn't come directly

271
00:20:27.440 --> 00:20:29.119
to where I live, but it comes like in the

272
00:20:29.160 --> 00:20:37.319
local area. And Uncle Sausages was their most regular customer

273
00:20:38.680 --> 00:20:45.119
for years and years and years. They even used to

274
00:20:45.160 --> 00:20:49.720
buy him Christmas presents. Seriously at Christmas said actually buy

275
00:20:49.799 --> 00:20:52.480
him when they bought a box of chocolates last year.

276
00:20:53.920 --> 00:20:56.599
He's a regular, so they know that they can come

277
00:20:56.640 --> 00:21:04.680
here every single week of the year and it won't

278
00:21:04.680 --> 00:21:08.759
be a wasted journey. I mean, they've got lots of

279
00:21:08.799 --> 00:21:11.319
stops along the way and then a lot of stops probably.

280
00:21:11.000 --> 00:21:15.640
Afterwards as well. But he's always there. He's you know,

281
00:21:16.720 --> 00:21:19.480
sometimes I had to kind of let him know it

282
00:21:19.559 --> 00:21:20.279
was there because.

283
00:21:20.039 --> 00:21:24.880
He wasn't hearing the truck anymore. He was getting the van,

284
00:21:25.599 --> 00:21:27.480
so but I used to kind of let him know.

285
00:21:28.079 --> 00:21:33.359
But that's only like more recently, like the last six

286
00:21:33.440 --> 00:21:34.000
months or so.

287
00:21:34.319 --> 00:21:36.359
Before that, he was always he go out there and

288
00:21:36.400 --> 00:21:45.119
just wait. So, yeah, still still there. I saw them.

289
00:21:45.319 --> 00:21:46.160
The thing is.

290
00:21:47.880 --> 00:21:50.839
The last two weeks, I've wanted to go down there

291
00:21:50.839 --> 00:21:54.279
and tell them I just couldn't face it. To be honest,

292
00:21:54.319 --> 00:22:00.359
I couldn't face going down there, and just yeah, I

293
00:22:00.400 --> 00:22:07.759
couldn't face it. Last Thursday and last night I think

294
00:22:07.799 --> 00:22:12.640
it was I couldn't face couldn't, just couldn't. I need

295
00:22:12.680 --> 00:22:14.559
to and I really do need to, because you know,

296
00:22:14.680 --> 00:22:17.599
they really liked him, and he liked them, and they

297
00:22:17.720 --> 00:22:21.440
just they talk about sport, and cricket was the main

298
00:22:21.480 --> 00:22:25.920
thing that they discussed because I think they're from I

299
00:22:25.960 --> 00:22:34.400
think they was. They supported Pakistan and Uncle's Sausages supported

300
00:22:36.279 --> 00:22:41.680
Northern Ireland, but he also kind of supported England as well,

301
00:22:41.799 --> 00:22:43.960
if you know, if Northern Island weren't playing.

302
00:22:45.000 --> 00:22:48.440
And but he liked everyone. He liked all teams, whether

303
00:22:48.480 --> 00:22:55.079
it's Australia, where whoever, South Africa. He just was a

304
00:22:55.119 --> 00:23:03.119
big cricket fan. But it was also a huge I

305
00:23:03.119 --> 00:23:06.119
don't think it was not all sports, but definitely most

306
00:23:06.119 --> 00:23:09.920
of the sports that are big in this country. So

307
00:23:10.039 --> 00:23:10.759
football is.

308
00:23:10.680 --> 00:23:23.200
His main thing, and then you've got rugby, cricket, badminton

309
00:23:23.279 --> 00:23:24.680
probably not, I don't think.

310
00:23:24.720 --> 00:23:27.400
So what's the other one? Golf?

311
00:23:29.079 --> 00:23:32.599
He never mentioned racing, car driving, so like F one.

312
00:23:33.119 --> 00:23:38.319
So I don't think Formula one, isn't it. It's such

313
00:23:38.359 --> 00:23:40.200
a long word to say Formula one.

314
00:23:40.559 --> 00:23:41.279
No, F one.

315
00:23:42.880 --> 00:23:48.440
It's too much effort to say formula So he never

316
00:23:48.519 --> 00:23:55.559
mentioned liking that, but that I don't know football football?

317
00:23:55.640 --> 00:23:56.880
Is it boxing?

318
00:23:58.920 --> 00:24:03.119
He kind of He was mildly interested if it was

319
00:24:03.119 --> 00:24:06.200
someone from Northern Ireland, because that was where he was from.

320
00:24:06.200 --> 00:24:08.799
That's where he was born. He told me he was

321
00:24:08.799 --> 00:24:14.240
born He told me he was Scottish. Yeah, and I

322
00:24:14.359 --> 00:24:16.440
thought by that he meant he was born in Scotland.

323
00:24:16.640 --> 00:24:21.000
He wasn't. He was born in Northern Ireland. His parents

324
00:24:21.279 --> 00:24:25.839
were Scottish, or one of his parents are Scottish. So

325
00:24:25.880 --> 00:24:30.759
he used to all armed Scottish. It's like, well, yeah, yeah,

326
00:24:30.839 --> 00:24:32.039
and no. I mean.

327
00:24:35.000 --> 00:24:40.119
Both my NaN's parents were Irish. So that makes her Irish,

328
00:24:40.200 --> 00:24:44.519
doesn't it. If all of her ancestors, probably going back

329
00:24:44.599 --> 00:24:48.480
thousands of years or Irish, there's a good chance you

330
00:24:48.519 --> 00:24:51.119
could really say she's Irish because both her parents were Irish.

331
00:24:51.440 --> 00:24:54.599
However, she was born in London, so she was always

332
00:24:54.599 --> 00:24:58.240
in English as well. Whether or not she had a

333
00:24:58.359 --> 00:25:05.359
dual passport on nationality, I don't know. But I don't

334
00:25:05.359 --> 00:25:08.640
really know how it all works. But she was English

335
00:25:09.359 --> 00:25:15.720
or British as well, and Irish. But it was weird

336
00:25:15.759 --> 00:25:18.960
because I found his passport, not his passport is yeah,

337
00:25:18.960 --> 00:25:21.200
I found his passports. I had to find that, but

338
00:25:21.240 --> 00:25:23.039
that was when he was in hospital. He asked me

339
00:25:23.079 --> 00:25:27.480
to do that, and then his next a kin asked

340
00:25:27.519 --> 00:25:32.920
me to find if I could his birth certificate. That

341
00:25:33.000 --> 00:25:35.039
took a lot of finding, but I did in the end,

342
00:25:35.480 --> 00:25:37.519
and there was just a replace for a birth certificate

343
00:25:37.559 --> 00:25:42.400
that he got about twenty five years ago, and it

344
00:25:42.480 --> 00:25:46.279
says on there that he was born in Northern Ireland,

345
00:25:47.640 --> 00:25:54.400
wasn't born in Scotland. It's like, why did you today?

346
00:25:56.160 --> 00:25:57.119
He was sticking to it.

347
00:25:57.319 --> 00:26:06.960
I'm Scottish, Okay, do you have so? Yeah, the jippy

348
00:26:07.039 --> 00:26:11.680
van does still come. I try not to go down

349
00:26:11.720 --> 00:26:15.400
there because you know what, one sausage costs about three pound.

350
00:26:15.839 --> 00:26:21.039
It's a big sausage, but still three pound. And I

351
00:26:21.079 --> 00:26:24.200
can get like a whole pack of sausages I can cook,

352
00:26:25.240 --> 00:26:28.960
not that I generally much of a like a.

353
00:26:28.759 --> 00:26:29.680
Cook, but just.

354
00:26:31.079 --> 00:26:35.519
Three pounds for sausage just seems like a lot. Maybe

355
00:26:35.599 --> 00:26:40.200
I'm behind the times. It seems like a lot of

356
00:26:40.200 --> 00:26:46.160
money for just a sausage three pound. Can I say

357
00:26:46.240 --> 00:26:50.480
one more time? It just seems it seems like a lot.

358
00:26:51.400 --> 00:26:52.880
That's it. That's all I got to say.

359
00:26:53.680 --> 00:27:00.000
And Christine, I'm getting through these quite quickly. And I

360
00:27:01.480 --> 00:27:06.680
Christine asks, have you ever tried ventiliquism, as you're very

361
00:27:06.720 --> 00:27:09.000
funny and good with dual dialogue.

362
00:27:10.039 --> 00:27:16.240
Well, thank you very much, Christine. I do actually have

363
00:27:16.400 --> 00:27:21.200
a ventiliquistal that's the weird one in it. It's true.

364
00:27:21.880 --> 00:27:27.880
And I did do a video on YouTube a years ago,

365
00:27:28.160 --> 00:27:31.759
ages and ages ago. But I did have Vinnie at

366
00:27:31.799 --> 00:27:36.319
the time, and Vinnie did not like it. So I

367
00:27:36.319 --> 00:27:38.119
don't know if i'd had how long i'd had Vinnie

368
00:27:38.160 --> 00:27:41.359
four at this point. So I ordered this thing off

369
00:27:41.400 --> 00:27:48.720
of I guess probably Amazon, and so I'm doing a view.

370
00:27:48.799 --> 00:27:51.279
I'll tell you what all I was found strange is

371
00:27:53.319 --> 00:27:56.279
if you're not resting your arm or anything, it does

372
00:27:56.359 --> 00:27:59.599
take its toll on your arm holding this thing up

373
00:27:59.599 --> 00:28:02.160
all the time and just loving your hands and stuff.

374
00:28:06.720 --> 00:28:09.359
I don't remember the videos on there.

375
00:28:09.359 --> 00:28:11.839
It was let Me boy You to Sleep video. It's

376
00:28:11.920 --> 00:28:14.720
on YouTube somewhere. I should try and find it. Just

377
00:28:14.720 --> 00:28:21.200
try and find it. I don't even know if it'll

378
00:28:21.240 --> 00:28:28.920
be on here YouTube, YouTube, because there'll be a picture

379
00:28:28.920 --> 00:28:34.640
of me on there if I put in search. Let

380
00:28:34.839 --> 00:28:45.400
me bore you to sleep, let me boy you to sleep,

381
00:28:48.440 --> 00:28:55.799
just skipping down. There's too many. There's way too many.

382
00:28:57.519 --> 00:29:02.359
I'm like, yeah, take me quite a while to try

383
00:29:02.400 --> 00:29:09.680
and find that. At the moment, I every single new

384
00:29:09.759 --> 00:29:15.880
recording I do gets released onto YouTube as part of

385
00:29:15.920 --> 00:29:28.920
my podcast, so all six versions get uploaded, and this two.

386
00:29:29.200 --> 00:29:38.200
There's way too many. It's yeah, yeah, it's I don't

387
00:29:38.240 --> 00:29:42.319
think I'm going to be like this will take There's

388
00:29:42.359 --> 00:29:46.960
probably a quicker way to find it than the way

389
00:29:46.960 --> 00:29:56.480
I've chosen because it's it might have been a live one. No,

390
00:29:56.720 --> 00:29:58.559
I don't think I did it. It might have been.

391
00:29:58.599 --> 00:30:01.119
I don't think I did, though, but it might have been.

392
00:30:02.279 --> 00:30:07.480
I'm just looking. I'm looking, and I'm looking. I'm looking

393
00:30:07.599 --> 00:30:17.240
looking looking, dibdy do dibd d look in I'm looking. No, anyway,

394
00:30:17.240 --> 00:30:20.640
it's definitely it's one where I'm actually on the camera

395
00:30:21.559 --> 00:30:27.200
with Vinnie for part of it, and the dolly that

396
00:30:27.400 --> 00:30:32.839
the doll bent to a liquis doll. There's too many.

397
00:30:32.880 --> 00:30:36.240
I've made too many recordings it's very difficult to find stuff,

398
00:30:37.799 --> 00:30:46.680
very difficult. Indeed, ooh, look at this number seven hundred

399
00:30:46.720 --> 00:30:50.200
and twenty nine Let Me Boy to Sleep live stream,

400
00:30:50.400 --> 00:30:57.519
eighteenth September two ty twenty one. So I'm now double

401
00:30:57.880 --> 00:31:02.519
that amount of recordings. So it's now fourteen one hundred

402
00:31:02.599 --> 00:31:13.599
and something. So well that's got one view successful. Yeah, no,

403
00:31:15.119 --> 00:31:16.440
it's got to be somewhere.

404
00:31:18.559 --> 00:31:19.240
It's got to be.

405
00:31:19.519 --> 00:31:20.559
It's just gotta be.

406
00:31:23.079 --> 00:31:25.359
A Oh.

407
00:31:25.480 --> 00:31:31.680
I found it. It's called Shout Out Welcome to get Sleepy?

408
00:31:32.920 --> 00:31:37.920
What hello and.

409
00:31:38.039 --> 00:31:44.440
Welcome to Right? I found out I was played the

410
00:31:44.440 --> 00:31:49.240
first little bit here let Me Bore You Too Sleep.

411
00:31:50.759 --> 00:31:59.920
My name is Jason Land, and this is a excuse

412
00:32:02.240 --> 00:32:07.319
that sounds like me, doesn't It's a podcast to help

413
00:32:07.400 --> 00:32:12.400
you too, right, So this podcast episode is called Shout

414
00:32:12.440 --> 00:32:15.960
Out to Tammy, let Me Boy to Sleep. It's number

415
00:32:16.000 --> 00:32:20.359
one eighteen and it was like the seventeenth of July

416
00:32:20.519 --> 00:32:29.839
twenty twenty three, and it's me with avniloquis dummy. Now

417
00:32:29.880 --> 00:32:34.359
what I got try and do is do it? How

418
00:32:34.400 --> 00:32:37.559
can I do the mute sleep? Maybe if you want

419
00:32:37.559 --> 00:32:38.160
to fall asleep?

420
00:32:40.880 --> 00:32:41.240
What else?

421
00:32:41.319 --> 00:32:44.319
I only listen or watch this video if it's on

422
00:32:44.519 --> 00:32:47.519
video when you can safely close your eyes.

423
00:32:48.279 --> 00:32:53.680
Right, the volume's not working, so I'm gonna just turn

424
00:32:53.720 --> 00:33:00.359
it off. Whoops, So I'm back to where it was.

425
00:33:01.480 --> 00:33:04.160
So yeah, that was the one that I've done one before.

426
00:33:04.799 --> 00:33:05.720
I don't know.

427
00:33:05.759 --> 00:33:15.640
If I actually did ventilyquism and on a podcast, it

428
00:33:15.640 --> 00:33:17.720
would be kind of weird because I was like saying,

429
00:33:18.079 --> 00:33:23.559
I'd like you to introduce you to Willy fit Willy

430
00:33:23.799 --> 00:33:26.160
the my friend, my new friend, Willy.

431
00:33:27.279 --> 00:33:37.079
Say hello, Willy, Oh so how are you getting on today? Oh? Really?

432
00:33:42.599 --> 00:33:48.359
Oh no, idea what he just said? The thing is

433
00:33:49.400 --> 00:33:52.240
you can't see me? So why am I? Why am I?

434
00:33:52.240 --> 00:33:55.119
I might as well just talk? Then it's not a

435
00:33:55.160 --> 00:33:56.200
ventual equism, is it?

436
00:33:56.200 --> 00:33:58.079
Then it?

437
00:33:59.680 --> 00:33:59.880
You know?

438
00:34:00.079 --> 00:34:01.920
I mean I can.

439
00:34:01.799 --> 00:34:07.400
Pretend I've got something my hand inside something, okay, phraser,

440
00:34:07.519 --> 00:34:09.280
I could. I could pretend that I've got like a

441
00:34:10.159 --> 00:34:13.960
Ventiloquist doll here, but you wouldn't know if I have

442
00:34:14.159 --> 00:34:14.440
or not.

443
00:34:14.559 --> 00:34:22.920
Because it's it's not you can't see me. I did.

444
00:34:23.119 --> 00:34:25.960
I wanted to be a ventiloquist. I cannot not like

445
00:34:26.239 --> 00:34:29.760
full on, you know, not in a way that I

446
00:34:29.800 --> 00:34:33.320
wanted to be a kung fu expert and a cloudy

447
00:34:33.400 --> 00:34:37.840
man and a singer and all the things that I

448
00:34:37.880 --> 00:34:41.119
wanted to do when I was younger, but.

449
00:34:41.119 --> 00:34:45.519
I thought it'd be fun because I grew up. And

450
00:34:45.559 --> 00:34:48.199
there was quite a few ventiloquists around when I was

451
00:34:48.199 --> 00:34:53.440
a kid on TV, like Keith Harris with Orville and Cuddles.

452
00:34:54.360 --> 00:34:58.360
There was Spit the Dog. There was City and Sweep.

453
00:34:58.599 --> 00:35:02.199
I mean yeah, they there were puppets. There was the

454
00:35:02.320 --> 00:35:07.440
Muppet Show, and there was things.

455
00:35:10.559 --> 00:35:18.519
Uh burder b bo. I'm trying to think of others.

456
00:35:18.599 --> 00:35:21.400
But there was a few EMU.

457
00:35:22.559 --> 00:35:25.159
That was and yes, there was quite a few different

458
00:35:25.159 --> 00:35:34.239
ones when I was a kid. And Orville, well, yeah,

459
00:35:34.440 --> 00:35:40.360
Orville was my favorite, but I did like the monkey

460
00:35:40.400 --> 00:35:45.760
as well, so like that he had the monkey and Orville.

461
00:35:46.000 --> 00:35:50.679
He had different characters, but Orville and what was his name?

462
00:35:50.719 --> 00:35:54.639
The monkey? He kept saying, I hit La Doc, I

463
00:35:54.719 --> 00:36:00.639
hit La Doc, and all will go, oh, I love you.

464
00:36:03.119 --> 00:36:06.239
So I did a voice had a number one hit.

465
00:36:06.280 --> 00:36:10.760
I think I wish I could fly right up to

466
00:36:10.840 --> 00:36:12.760
the sky, but I can't.

467
00:36:13.440 --> 00:36:16.119
You can, I can't.

468
00:36:16.840 --> 00:36:20.079
I wish I could do the things that the other

469
00:36:20.320 --> 00:36:20.960
birds do.

470
00:36:21.719 --> 00:36:22.400
You can.

471
00:36:23.199 --> 00:36:29.360
I can't look over who who is your very best friend?

472
00:36:30.159 --> 00:36:35.760
You are I want to help you mend your broken heart.

473
00:36:36.519 --> 00:36:38.840
Now listen to me, oh phil oh.

474
00:36:38.760 --> 00:36:41.880
Phel Yeah, who is your very.

475
00:36:41.679 --> 00:36:46.159
Best friend staring at me? I want to help your men.

476
00:36:47.039 --> 00:36:49.519
You are what I told you you are.

477
00:36:50.960 --> 00:36:57.760
I want to help you mend your broken heart. I

478
00:36:57.840 --> 00:37:01.440
realized that he got he came himself more verses in

479
00:37:01.519 --> 00:37:06.079
that song than he gave Orville, didn't he I mean

480
00:37:06.199 --> 00:37:10.639
Orville's only real verse was like, I wish I.

481
00:37:10.559 --> 00:37:14.679
Could fly around top tall a scab, but A can't.

482
00:37:17.199 --> 00:37:20.840
Wish I could do the things that they other birds do,

483
00:37:22.880 --> 00:37:23.599
but I can't.

484
00:37:25.719 --> 00:37:29.639
And then the other bits like you are you are?

485
00:37:30.639 --> 00:37:35.360
And that's it? Mind you did do?

486
00:37:35.639 --> 00:37:39.400
He sung with Keith Harris. No, you wouldn't have sung

487
00:37:39.440 --> 00:37:42.320
with Keith Harris because that would be impossible, isn't it.

488
00:37:45.679 --> 00:37:45.800
Now?

489
00:37:45.920 --> 00:37:50.920
He sung a little bit of someone part of the sentence, Yeah,

490
00:37:51.800 --> 00:37:53.039
anyway that I kind.

491
00:37:52.880 --> 00:37:55.199
Of wanted to do. I'd tell you who is my

492
00:37:55.559 --> 00:38:03.119
biggest my biggest, biggest influence as a kid, like quite

493
00:38:03.119 --> 00:38:09.199
a young kid comedy wise, and that was Kenny Everett.

494
00:38:10.599 --> 00:38:15.159
I loved Kenny Everett and he was hilarious and I

495
00:38:15.159 --> 00:38:18.360
think he still is hilarious. I mean, he's no longer

496
00:38:18.400 --> 00:38:18.920
with us.

497
00:38:18.800 --> 00:38:27.519
But he was funny, just wacky and he Yeah, it's really,

498
00:38:29.920 --> 00:38:36.000
my personal opinion, one of the greatest comedy shows, like

499
00:38:36.119 --> 00:38:40.519
on a Saturday evening kind of comedy show, because it

500
00:38:40.559 --> 00:38:43.119
was so irreverent, irreverend is that the right word.

501
00:38:43.360 --> 00:38:48.679
It was so out there. I don't know, it's just

502
00:38:49.519 --> 00:38:54.480
it was great, really great. And he was so funny.

503
00:38:54.920 --> 00:38:58.719
And I used to he had all these characters, and

504
00:38:58.840 --> 00:39:02.000
I kind of learned the whole his whole thing. And

505
00:39:02.039 --> 00:39:03.679
I used to do do.

506
00:39:05.400 --> 00:39:07.039
I think me and my brother we used to do

507
00:39:07.960 --> 00:39:10.000
entertaining each other on the beach in the summer, and

508
00:39:10.840 --> 00:39:12.960
we'd do the characters, or perhaps I'd do it to

509
00:39:13.239 --> 00:39:16.199
complete strangers if they were stuck in.

510
00:39:16.159 --> 00:39:18.400
The sand or something, if someone who buried them in

511
00:39:18.400 --> 00:39:21.400
the sand. I think, all captive audience and I'll be

512
00:39:21.480 --> 00:39:21.920
going and.

513
00:39:22.159 --> 00:39:24.760
Done in the best possible taste.

514
00:39:25.519 --> 00:39:35.760
Or it's not here and other characters. Yeah, I loved, loved, loved, loved, loved, loved.

515
00:39:36.079 --> 00:39:39.039
I would have liked to have met him. He was

516
00:39:39.119 --> 00:39:39.920
so He was a.

517
00:39:39.840 --> 00:39:45.480
Comedy hero of mine. And he wasn't a stand up comedian.

518
00:39:45.599 --> 00:39:50.039
He was a DJ. But he had the funny jingles.

519
00:39:50.400 --> 00:39:52.280
I used to listen to him. So I listened to

520
00:39:52.320 --> 00:39:54.639
him when I was a little kid. I don't know,

521
00:39:55.280 --> 00:39:58.960
eight nine, ten, I don't know what year, what kind

522
00:39:58.960 --> 00:40:02.280
of period it was. And then when I was in

523
00:40:02.320 --> 00:40:05.199
my early twenties, I used to listen to him on

524
00:40:07.280 --> 00:40:10.880
Radio two. I think it might have been because we

525
00:40:10.920 --> 00:40:13.559
had a radio one all the time and we used

526
00:40:13.559 --> 00:40:16.119
to listen to that. It might have been it might

527
00:40:16.119 --> 00:40:22.039
have been Radio Gold or Capital Gold, but anyway, very funny,

528
00:40:22.719 --> 00:40:24.840
and he had all these jingles that were funny, and

529
00:40:24.880 --> 00:40:34.840
he was just so creative with the whole thing. So yeah,

530
00:40:34.920 --> 00:40:42.559
my top my favorite DJ of all time. Yeah, him

531
00:40:42.800 --> 00:40:47.559
My favorite comedy show. Not my favorite comedy show, that'd

532
00:40:47.599 --> 00:40:50.039
be wrong to say that, but it's the one that

533
00:40:52.760 --> 00:40:55.920
I probably enjoyed the most watching would be Kenny of

534
00:40:55.960 --> 00:41:00.480
It because it was just so funny. I just I

535
00:41:00.559 --> 00:41:01.440
thought it's hilarious.

536
00:41:03.679 --> 00:41:08.519
Now, Christine, that is not the question you asked. I've

537
00:41:08.559 --> 00:41:12.920
answered a different question that's not been asked, which will

538
00:41:12.920 --> 00:41:17.360
happen occasionally, as anyone that listens to me will know.

539
00:41:17.519 --> 00:41:23.920
But I'd say it sometimes I quite enjoyed doing the

540
00:41:24.039 --> 00:41:27.519
due dialogue thing, and but I just do it when

541
00:41:27.559 --> 00:41:32.360
it comes, you know, when it just when it's organic

542
00:41:33.760 --> 00:41:35.440
and it just comes from nowhere, and I don't know

543
00:41:35.480 --> 00:41:38.280
it's going to happen, and it just happens, and I

544
00:41:38.440 --> 00:41:41.280
just I just go along with it. And sometimes it

545
00:41:41.360 --> 00:41:44.480
goes on for ages and ages and ages. Other times

546
00:41:44.480 --> 00:41:49.039
this is very short, and I've done nearly like I've

547
00:41:49.039 --> 00:41:51.960
done a whole recordings in the past, that being practically

548
00:41:52.960 --> 00:41:57.800
a dual dialogue, just like a conversation for the whole

549
00:41:57.880 --> 00:42:01.320
thing between two people that aren't even there, you know,

550
00:42:03.800 --> 00:42:10.639
and it goes off into a different it's a different dimension.

551
00:42:10.679 --> 00:42:19.039
It's very strange. However, however, I was at a wedding.

552
00:42:19.960 --> 00:42:22.000
I mightn't wonder where I'm going with this. I was

553
00:42:22.000 --> 00:42:22.559
at a wedding.

554
00:42:22.639 --> 00:42:24.280
What's a wedding got to do with this?

555
00:42:25.039 --> 00:42:25.519
Well, do you.

556
00:42:25.519 --> 00:42:28.840
Listen, you find out I was at a wedding, a

557
00:42:28.840 --> 00:42:31.400
family wedding. I think it was my I don't know,

558
00:42:32.440 --> 00:42:40.599
it was someone's wedding. And it's probably about eight years ago,

559
00:42:40.760 --> 00:42:42.159
maybe nine years ago.

560
00:42:43.639 --> 00:42:46.079
Yes, it's quite a long time ago, maybe ten, Yes,

561
00:42:46.280 --> 00:42:50.599
quite a long time ago. And my dad was strunk.

562
00:42:51.760 --> 00:42:57.920
Now, my dad's really nice drunk, like he's the most

563
00:42:58.039 --> 00:43:03.199
chilled out, relaxed. He drunk that there is and I've

564
00:43:03.239 --> 00:43:07.880
only ever seen him drunk probably three or four times,

565
00:43:07.920 --> 00:43:11.880
and the whole time I've known him. Really it just

566
00:43:11.920 --> 00:43:15.719
never really it doesn't get it doesn't really drink to excess.

567
00:43:17.320 --> 00:43:21.159
I think he just paces it throughout the day. But yeah,

568
00:43:21.199 --> 00:43:24.280
it doesn't. I've not seen him drunk very often. He

569
00:43:24.320 --> 00:43:26.599
did get. He got drunk one Christmas.

570
00:43:27.000 --> 00:43:27.480
This was.

571
00:43:29.760 --> 00:43:33.679
Probably when I was in my twenties, maybe my thirties.

572
00:43:34.599 --> 00:43:36.440
But he just overdid it a little bit and he

573
00:43:36.480 --> 00:43:39.320
had a bit too much to drink before dinner and

574
00:43:39.320 --> 00:43:41.480
he ended up having to go to bed but it

575
00:43:41.559 --> 00:43:44.199
was up a few hours later and everything's fine. It's

576
00:43:44.280 --> 00:43:47.440
just it just it just overdid it a little bit.

577
00:43:48.239 --> 00:43:54.800
Because he is mister Christmas. He absolutely loves Christmas.

578
00:43:54.920 --> 00:44:02.440
It's yeah, in some ways he turns into Father Christmas

579
00:44:02.519 --> 00:44:07.440
or Santa Claus when he's drunk, Like whatever time of

580
00:44:07.440 --> 00:44:12.639
the year is it is, he's he's kind of that jovial,

581
00:44:13.679 --> 00:44:18.880
happy kind. I don't know how to explain it. It's

582
00:44:18.960 --> 00:44:22.039
just really, you know, so he's I want to say,

583
00:44:22.119 --> 00:44:26.880
good drunk. He's not drunk, has him fallen over, but

584
00:44:27.119 --> 00:44:37.599
just you know, but drunk, you know. Anyway, he was

585
00:44:37.639 --> 00:44:41.280
sitting on it at the bar. So this was after

586
00:44:41.320 --> 00:44:45.719
all the wedding stuff and all the free food, which

587
00:44:45.760 --> 00:44:50.639
is why I went. And we were at the bar.

588
00:44:50.840 --> 00:44:56.079
I was drinking. Bearing in mind, I don't really drink anymore.

589
00:44:56.519 --> 00:45:00.880
Since I moved here, I stopped drinking regularly. So ten

590
00:45:01.000 --> 00:45:02.519
years ago I still had.

591
00:45:02.400 --> 00:45:10.679
My weekend lagers, and then probably within a year of

592
00:45:10.719 --> 00:45:15.800
being here, I wasn't hardly drinking anything. It just I

593
00:45:15.840 --> 00:45:19.199
got bored of them. I didn't Maybe it's because I

594
00:45:19.239 --> 00:45:23.599
suddenly had a bit of space of my own. I'd

595
00:45:23.639 --> 00:45:28.840
work towards getting this place. Well, you know, I didn't

596
00:45:28.880 --> 00:45:33.199
need that. I didn't need it anymore. Not perhaps I

597
00:45:33.199 --> 00:45:35.320
don't know if I ever needed.

598
00:45:35.039 --> 00:45:35.440
It, but.

599
00:45:37.000 --> 00:45:37.400
I did.

600
00:45:38.079 --> 00:45:41.239
I felt I did. It was in the past. It

601
00:45:41.360 --> 00:45:47.480
was definitely self medication. But just prior to moving in here,

602
00:45:48.480 --> 00:45:49.079
I was.

603
00:45:51.039 --> 00:45:54.400
It was pretty much only weekends at that point, it

604
00:45:54.559 --> 00:46:02.079
wasn't every day, and then it turned into never. And

605
00:46:02.119 --> 00:46:04.519
I really I don't haven't drunk.

606
00:46:05.719 --> 00:46:09.480
Alcohol on any kind of regular basis for about nine years.

607
00:46:10.880 --> 00:46:13.519
So when I go to a hot like an event

608
00:46:15.519 --> 00:46:21.400
like a wedding, and I've been to one two.

609
00:46:23.440 --> 00:46:33.280
Maybe three weddings since I moved in here, maybe two

610
00:46:33.760 --> 00:46:41.159
maybe three, And that's the one event I seem to

611
00:46:41.199 --> 00:46:46.159
not be able to do without drinking. It's like a

612
00:46:46.239 --> 00:46:49.239
mixture is too many people. It's a little bit of

613
00:46:49.280 --> 00:46:52.280
emotional because you know, I don't know. It brings up emotions,

614
00:46:52.280 --> 00:46:59.639
I suppose, and alcohol is the only thing that seems

615
00:46:59.679 --> 00:47:03.280
to get me through it. But it's very rare because

616
00:47:03.280 --> 00:47:06.800
I don't go to many weddings. You know, there's two

617
00:47:06.880 --> 00:47:10.440
in the last ten years or three, and before that

618
00:47:11.199 --> 00:47:13.559
I can't even remember. I mean, I got invited to

619
00:47:13.800 --> 00:47:17.400
be invited to weddings I've not gone to just because

620
00:47:18.039 --> 00:47:24.440
I don't really I don't really like them really, too many,

621
00:47:26.320 --> 00:47:34.360
too many people, too many people. And funerals. Never drink

622
00:47:34.400 --> 00:47:38.920
at I know, I know better than that. I would

623
00:47:39.000 --> 00:47:43.400
not drink alcol at a funeral. So that's something that

624
00:47:43.440 --> 00:47:49.719
I've kind of definitely know about myself. So that's that's good.

625
00:47:50.280 --> 00:47:52.519
It's good to it's good to have a little bit

626
00:47:52.559 --> 00:48:01.119
of self awareness, I suppose. Why am I talking about this,

627
00:48:02.559 --> 00:48:06.119
Oh yeah, my dad said the wedding, my dad was

628
00:48:06.400 --> 00:48:10.199
sitting on a bar stool at the bar, me and

629
00:48:10.280 --> 00:48:12.480
my little brother walk up to him because we're just chatting,

630
00:48:12.519 --> 00:48:19.639
and we walk up to him and he's he's on

631
00:48:19.679 --> 00:48:20.159
the phone.

632
00:48:21.800 --> 00:48:23.360
So he puts the phone to his ear and he

633
00:48:23.400 --> 00:48:30.119
starts talking and he's having this conversation and he said,

634
00:48:30.159 --> 00:48:32.760
a wait a minute to us, and he's talking and

635
00:48:32.800 --> 00:48:37.639
it's the weirdest conversation ever, and it's very funny as well.

636
00:48:38.599 --> 00:48:43.639
So you can only hear his side of the dialogue.

637
00:48:44.400 --> 00:48:48.079
And he goes on for about ten minutes. So me

638
00:48:48.079 --> 00:48:50.320
and my brother are laughing at some of the stuff

639
00:48:50.320 --> 00:48:55.280
he's saying, and my brother takes the phone out his hand.

640
00:48:55.320 --> 00:48:58.320
He said, there's no one there. So my dad was

641
00:48:58.360 --> 00:49:03.360
just making up a conversation on the spot, just to

642
00:49:03.559 --> 00:49:09.320
entertain us or maybe to entertain himself as well. And

643
00:49:09.400 --> 00:49:15.480
it's like, okay, that's interesting because that is something that

644
00:49:15.559 --> 00:49:19.199
I tend to be able to do as well. I'm

645
00:49:19.239 --> 00:49:22.840
not saying that it's a special gift, special gift. I'm

646
00:49:22.880 --> 00:49:28.639
sure everyone could do it. But I remember years ago,

647
00:49:28.760 --> 00:49:34.039
like when I first started doing these type of recordings,

648
00:49:34.840 --> 00:49:36.760
I did used to call them let Me Boy to Sleep.

649
00:49:36.960 --> 00:49:39.719
I used to call them what did?

650
00:49:39.719 --> 00:49:42.840
I used to call them thinking out loud or pretending

651
00:49:42.880 --> 00:49:45.239
to think that was another one. I used to call

652
00:49:45.280 --> 00:49:51.360
them pretending to think that's good. And I had a

653
00:49:51.360 --> 00:49:53.719
lot of different I had a few different versions of

654
00:49:53.760 --> 00:50:00.039
this before I did this, going back, you know, thirteen fifteen, sixteen.

655
00:49:59.679 --> 00:50:04.719
Years go, and.

656
00:50:05.199 --> 00:50:08.199
I had a friend that told me that I needed

657
00:50:08.199 --> 00:50:12.840
psychiatric help because I was doing this like stream of

658
00:50:12.880 --> 00:50:19.800
consciousness conversation going on and he thought I was ill. Well,

659
00:50:19.880 --> 00:50:24.119
actually I was just having a bit of fun. Bless

660
00:50:24.199 --> 00:50:31.519
him or her, whoever it might be. So no, I've

661
00:50:31.519 --> 00:50:38.519
never tried ventiloquism, not in front of an audience, although

662
00:50:38.719 --> 00:50:40.760
I do think I might have gone on stage with

663
00:50:40.800 --> 00:50:44.400
a ventiloquist doll once and just had it in my

664
00:50:44.599 --> 00:50:50.280
arm and ignored it and just did my act because

665
00:50:50.320 --> 00:50:51.800
I thought that'd be funny thing to do.

666
00:50:54.039 --> 00:50:58.360
I actually one of my first ever gigs, it might

667
00:50:58.440 --> 00:51:04.159
be my first gig. I was at the Comedy Comedy

668
00:51:04.159 --> 00:51:07.800
Club and had a new act night and it's one

669
00:51:07.840 --> 00:51:11.639
of my first gigs I'd ever done in London. So

670
00:51:11.800 --> 00:51:14.400
I go on stage.

671
00:51:14.679 --> 00:51:19.880
I had a piece of paper with some jokes, none

672
00:51:19.960 --> 00:51:22.280
of which I don't think got to laugh. But anyway,

673
00:51:22.320 --> 00:51:24.239
it was still you know something and.

674
00:51:27.039 --> 00:51:29.079
This. I did get a laugh from what I did

675
00:51:29.119 --> 00:51:32.599
here is I picked something out of the audience. I said,

676
00:51:32.719 --> 00:51:35.280
are you okay to come on stage? And this big,

677
00:51:35.360 --> 00:51:38.920
hefty bloke gets on stage. Watch your name, he said, said,

678
00:51:39.880 --> 00:51:42.360
and I said, oh, I'm Jason. Hi. I said, if

679
00:51:42.400 --> 00:51:44.480
you just stand there, please just hold this piece of paper,

680
00:51:47.000 --> 00:51:49.800
and then I ignored him for the next five minutes

681
00:51:51.079 --> 00:51:55.639
and he's laughing his head off, and the audience are laughing,

682
00:51:56.159 --> 00:52:01.559
not at me, but at him. So technically it was

683
00:52:01.639 --> 00:52:04.559
quite a good gig, but it wasn't due to me.

684
00:52:04.679 --> 00:52:07.079
It was due to him. I didn't realize he was

685
00:52:07.119 --> 00:52:11.840
also a comedian as well, and we became good friends after.

686
00:52:11.599 --> 00:52:15.159
That because he was. What was weird is he was

687
00:52:15.199 --> 00:52:19.920
on right after me, which I didn't know. You know,

688
00:52:20.280 --> 00:52:22.119
this is the first time I'd been in that club,

689
00:52:22.400 --> 00:52:25.480
so I didn't know anybody. I mean, I can't believe

690
00:52:25.480 --> 00:52:28.920
he got on stage. You know, the fact he was

691
00:52:28.960 --> 00:52:34.119
sitting in the front row just before he gets on stage.

692
00:52:34.119 --> 00:52:36.199
I could never do that. I'd have to be at

693
00:52:36.199 --> 00:52:39.199
the bar, pacing or something. He was so chilled out

694
00:52:39.199 --> 00:52:42.320
and relaxed, and then he went on and got his

695
00:52:42.400 --> 00:52:46.079
own gigs, started his own comedy clubs, and he always

696
00:52:46.119 --> 00:52:50.480
gave me work, whether paid or unpaid. He'd always always

697
00:52:50.960 --> 00:52:54.920
get me on the stage because he liked my act.

698
00:52:55.199 --> 00:52:56.920
He liked me as well, but he liked my act.

699
00:52:57.639 --> 00:53:01.360
He thought it was funny. The only person in London

700
00:53:01.400 --> 00:53:04.199
that thought I was funny. But hey, at least one

701
00:53:04.280 --> 00:53:04.840
person did.

702
00:53:04.920 --> 00:53:10.960
He A.

703
00:53:10.719 --> 00:53:13.920
Robin asks, how do you like your beans on toast?

704
00:53:14.679 --> 00:53:23.280
Traditional or with additional toppings? Hmm, I don't have beans

705
00:53:23.320 --> 00:53:26.760
on toast very often, although I've just been going through

706
00:53:26.800 --> 00:53:29.920
all the stuff that I've got storing up, and I've

707
00:53:29.920 --> 00:53:32.079
got a load of dog food that I put into

708
00:53:36.239 --> 00:53:40.400
two cupboards and some treats or one the dog foods

709
00:53:40.400 --> 00:53:42.719
on one shelf, the treats on another shelf, and on

710
00:53:42.760 --> 00:53:46.559
the other shelf of this cupboard is tins of baked beans.

711
00:53:47.320 --> 00:53:50.679
So I have been thinking of beans just for that

712
00:53:50.719 --> 00:53:53.719
period of time. But yeah, beans were definitely in my

713
00:53:53.840 --> 00:53:59.360
mind at some point for a few seconds. Today. Tama

714
00:53:59.480 --> 00:54:03.920
to catch is quite a nice little addition, I think

715
00:54:04.119 --> 00:54:12.360
to beans on toast cheese is a nice addition. What

716
00:54:12.440 --> 00:54:16.440
I used to do in the nineties, I used to

717
00:54:16.559 --> 00:54:24.519
put the toast underneath the grill. Yeah, the toast underneath

718
00:54:24.559 --> 00:54:29.679
the grill, and then I do cheese on toast, and

719
00:54:29.719 --> 00:54:33.880
then I would.

720
00:54:33.840 --> 00:54:37.519
Heat up the beans, put some cheese in with the

721
00:54:37.559 --> 00:54:41.159
beans as well, melted, and then pour that on top

722
00:54:41.199 --> 00:54:44.519
of the beans on toast the cheese. So cheese on

723
00:54:44.599 --> 00:54:49.800
toast with beans. So bean on toast. Yeah, cheese on

724
00:54:49.880 --> 00:54:54.280
toast with beans and cheese. So that's kind of beans

725
00:54:54.280 --> 00:55:00.039
on toast, but with two lots of cheese. Sometimes I

726
00:55:00.039 --> 00:55:05.039
would add something like some fish fingers, so cheese on toast,

727
00:55:05.280 --> 00:55:08.760
fish fingers on top of the toast, and then the

728
00:55:08.800 --> 00:55:14.920
beans with some cheese and maybe some tomato ketchup on

729
00:55:15.000 --> 00:55:22.840
top and a pint of milk. And that was something

730
00:55:22.880 --> 00:55:25.360
that i'd have fairly regularly, you know.

731
00:55:25.920 --> 00:55:33.679
Various different types of kind of that. It would be

732
00:55:33.719 --> 00:55:39.719
different things. Sometimes there'd be no fish fingers. Sometimes it

733
00:55:39.800 --> 00:55:43.199
would be yes.

734
00:55:43.280 --> 00:55:48.079
Sometimes i'd do it with sweet corn, So cheese on

735
00:55:48.159 --> 00:55:53.199
toast with fish fingers and then sweet corn on top.

736
00:55:54.400 --> 00:55:58.320
Now I realized that's not answering the question about how

737
00:55:58.360 --> 00:56:01.519
do I like my beans on toast, because you didn't

738
00:56:01.559 --> 00:56:05.079
say sweet corn on toast, did you? And sweet corn

739
00:56:05.159 --> 00:56:09.280
on toast might sound like a weird thing, but actually

740
00:56:10.599 --> 00:56:13.960
if you've got some cheese and something else on them

741
00:56:14.039 --> 00:56:20.679
as well. Sweet corn not not like a big tube thing,

742
00:56:20.800 --> 00:56:23.920
you know how it's grown, but you know, individual sweet

743
00:56:24.000 --> 00:56:35.320
on pieces mm hmm, can be quite quite yummy. I

744
00:56:35.320 --> 00:56:41.800
wouldn't go for brown sauce. Definitely tomato sauce if I.

745
00:56:41.760 --> 00:56:42.679
Had to choose.

746
00:56:43.639 --> 00:56:46.760
Not really a big brown sauce eater gives me a

747
00:56:46.800 --> 00:56:51.559
little bit of it's a little bit too spicy, a

748
00:56:51.599 --> 00:56:59.199
little bit too for me. Hillary asks, can you listen

749
00:57:00.159 --> 00:57:03.239
to the song save My jelly Roll and critique it?

750
00:57:10.280 --> 00:57:15.360
Not what I'm doing the podcast? Is it your song? Hillary?

751
00:57:16.679 --> 00:57:18.159
I love I'll try to have a little look at

752
00:57:18.159 --> 00:57:25.400
listen to it another time. But maybe I'm just wondering

753
00:57:25.440 --> 00:57:29.159
what it's about now? Is it a weird Let me

754
00:57:29.239 --> 00:57:30.840
just have a look. I'm going what I'm going to

755
00:57:30.920 --> 00:57:35.239
do if I can. What's it called save Me by

756
00:57:35.320 --> 00:57:53.239
jelly Roll? I'm going to get the lyrics? Lyrics right?

757
00:57:53.960 --> 00:58:05.320
Song by jelly Roll twenty twenty mhm uh, all right.

758
00:58:05.360 --> 00:58:07.119
I thought it was going to be a funny I

759
00:58:07.159 --> 00:58:09.000
suppose jelly Roll. I thought it was going to be

760
00:58:09.039 --> 00:58:11.800
like a funny song, but it's not.

761
00:58:11.920 --> 00:58:34.119
Is it okay? Okay, right, yeah, I'm just reading it through.

762
00:58:34.440 --> 00:58:57.920
I'm not going to read it out loud. Okay, yeah, okay, yeah,

763
00:58:54.159 --> 00:59:07.400
I'm reading the lyrics and the good lyrics. I've been

764
00:59:07.440 --> 00:59:12.239
a little bit depressed now though, but thanks. It's a heavy,

765
00:59:12.559 --> 00:59:17.199
heavy lyrics. I've not I've not heard the song, but yeah,

766
00:59:17.239 --> 00:59:21.039
it's from the Looks, so it's quite a powerful song

767
00:59:21.760 --> 00:59:26.039
and I can relate to some of what I saw there.

768
00:59:27.400 --> 00:59:31.800
I'll actually have a The thing is, sometimes I like

769
00:59:31.840 --> 00:59:33.800
a song and I don't know what the lyrics are.

770
00:59:38.000 --> 00:59:38.199
You know.

771
00:59:38.440 --> 00:59:41.679
I remember this one song years ago, the late nineties,

772
00:59:42.440 --> 00:59:45.480
and I'll be singing it and I'll be doing the

773
00:59:45.679 --> 00:59:50.199
washing up. So it's Christmas dinner. I'd be like doing

774
00:59:50.199 --> 00:59:53.480
the washing up in the kitchen after dinner, and my

775
00:59:53.559 --> 00:59:56.000
Stepmam would be there putting stuff away, and my sister

776
00:59:56.000 --> 00:59:58.360
would be put there putting stuff away in the kitchen,

777
00:59:58.440 --> 01:00:01.480
and my dad would be like maybe getting some stuff

778
01:00:01.639 --> 01:00:05.440
out of the fridge, and I'm I'm hard dancing in

779
01:00:05.719 --> 01:00:07.559
doing a washing up, shouting like singing.

780
01:00:08.119 --> 01:00:11.760
Everybody needs a boosom for a pillow. Everybody needs a bosom.

781
01:00:12.119 --> 01:00:15.079
Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow. Everybody needs a

782
01:00:15.079 --> 01:00:19.559
bosom burning forty five, And I didn't even realize what

783
01:00:20.320 --> 01:00:21.760
they're looking at me, Like what do you mean everyone

784
01:00:21.760 --> 01:00:26.920
needs a bosom for a pillow? And like, okay, I

785
01:00:26.960 --> 01:00:31.239
wasn't realizing what I was actually singing. I just like

786
01:00:31.360 --> 01:00:34.679
the tune. I liked the beat. I like the did

787
01:00:34.679 --> 01:00:36.199
a do do Do Do Do Do Do Do Do

788
01:00:36.199 --> 01:00:38.840
Do Do Do Do Do do do did a do

789
01:00:38.840 --> 01:00:41.039
do do? Do? You know it could be it could

790
01:00:41.199 --> 01:00:45.239
it could be saying anything wouldn't bother me. And I

791
01:00:45.320 --> 01:00:46.599
got this memory.

792
01:00:47.800 --> 01:00:53.159
And it still tickles me a little bit because and

793
01:00:53.199 --> 01:00:56.960
this is about nineteen eighty four. I would say about

794
01:00:57.039 --> 01:01:03.599
nineteen eighty four, Frankie Goes to Hollywood was the biggest

795
01:01:03.639 --> 01:01:10.880
band possibly in the Western world at this time. They

796
01:01:11.000 --> 01:01:14.000
and they were banned, they banned. They were a band

797
01:01:14.119 --> 01:01:19.280
that was banned, and being banned put them to number one.

798
01:01:20.000 --> 01:01:20.880
But it wasn't just.

799
01:01:20.920 --> 01:01:24.760
That they were actually really good their songs. The songs

800
01:01:24.800 --> 01:01:30.079
that they like Relax, two Tribes, the Power of Love,

801
01:01:31.360 --> 01:01:37.440
and Beyond the thunder Dome was that the other one.

802
01:01:37.679 --> 01:01:43.239
So there's four really really good songs, really great songs

803
01:01:43.239 --> 01:01:45.920
that they did. I don't know what else they did,

804
01:01:45.960 --> 01:01:54.880
but that's that's my memory of that. Wow, the song relaxed.

805
01:01:57.519 --> 01:02:02.119
Bearing in mind it was banned, the video was banned,

806
01:02:02.800 --> 01:02:09.039
the song was banned from radio one, so and also better.

807
01:02:09.159 --> 01:02:12.440
Mama's stepmom was only probably twenty seven at the time,

808
01:02:13.559 --> 01:02:18.039
maybe twenty eight, so she wasn't old, so I thought

809
01:02:18.039 --> 01:02:21.960
she'd be aware of what the song was about, but

810
01:02:22.000 --> 01:02:24.519
I don't know she was because she was dancing to

811
01:02:24.639 --> 01:02:28.800
it in the kitchen and seeing the words because they

812
01:02:28.800 --> 01:02:31.880
were playing it on I think it was.

813
01:02:35.199 --> 01:02:38.440
It was one of those illegal radio channels where they

814
01:02:38.480 --> 01:02:40.800
had ships out in the sea and they used to

815
01:02:40.840 --> 01:02:44.840
do used to call them pirate radios, so everyone used.

816
01:02:44.760 --> 01:02:47.800
To listen to them. It wasn't illegal to listen to them.

817
01:02:47.840 --> 01:02:50.559
It's just illegal for the people to do it because

818
01:02:50.559 --> 01:02:55.119
they were competing with channels that were paying for licenses

819
01:02:55.159 --> 01:02:59.440
and stuff. I guess, like, I don't know who, I

820
01:02:59.480 --> 01:03:04.360
just remember says you're dancing, relax, don't do it when

821
01:03:04.440 --> 01:03:08.239
you want it. I think, okay, And it was weird

822
01:03:08.519 --> 01:03:12.199
like and then she like just when it came to

823
01:03:12.280 --> 01:03:16.639
the when you want to that bit, and I had

824
01:03:16.639 --> 01:03:19.360
to leave the room laughing because it's like this.

825
01:03:19.480 --> 01:03:27.760
Is this is You're not are you No?

826
01:03:28.519 --> 01:03:30.960
I don't want to see my mum dance into that song.

827
01:03:31.880 --> 01:03:38.199
It's just weird. It was just very strange, but still

828
01:03:38.199 --> 01:03:40.559
a great song, though it's not my favorite one out

829
01:03:40.559 --> 01:03:41.360
of their songs.

830
01:03:42.000 --> 01:03:45.760
I think the power of love, the power of love,

831
01:03:45.960 --> 01:03:51.760
of the power of love when you want to cut

832
01:03:51.920 --> 01:03:56.920
man and then two Tribes didn't that get banned as well?

833
01:03:58.559 --> 01:04:01.239
And that was good. I mean that, you know what,

834
01:04:01.320 --> 01:04:07.079
if anything, because they had the two leaders of two

835
01:04:07.119 --> 01:04:16.599
particular countries settling their differences one on one, man on man,

836
01:04:18.039 --> 01:04:22.559
the in the dirt with a having like a fistfight

837
01:04:22.800 --> 01:04:29.639
or wrestle or whatever. And I don't know, I just

838
01:04:29.679 --> 01:04:39.360
always found that quite funny. So I'll have a little

839
01:04:39.360 --> 01:04:42.199
listen to that song, Hillary. But the words, the lyrics

840
01:04:42.239 --> 01:04:47.159
definitely got some powerful lyrics there. Hope asks me top

841
01:04:47.239 --> 01:04:49.159
five favorite animals and why.

842
01:04:50.760 --> 01:05:01.360
Oh oh, okay, okay, top five animals and.

843
01:05:01.559 --> 01:05:09.719
Why I'm gonna have to go with.

844
01:05:13.480 --> 01:05:18.920
A dog and a ferret because of Andre and Vinnie.

845
01:05:19.400 --> 01:05:22.519
So I can't not go there. I can't go with

846
01:05:22.599 --> 01:05:30.000
them two before I had either Andre already my favorite animal,

847
01:05:30.480 --> 01:05:41.519
I would say it would be a penguin, and monkeys

848
01:05:41.960 --> 01:05:46.199
little monkeys. Love little monkeys. I just think they're funny.

849
01:05:47.599 --> 01:05:51.320
So yeah, a little monkey, not chimpanzee that's going to

850
01:05:51.400 --> 01:05:53.920
get big and strong. Just the little ones that stay

851
01:05:54.000 --> 01:05:57.320
little the whole time. Yeah, I like them. So that's

852
01:05:57.559 --> 01:05:58.239
that's four.

853
01:06:06.719 --> 01:06:10.880
I like elephants.

854
01:06:10.960 --> 01:06:18.000
Because they seem to be very peaceful, peaceful animals.

855
01:06:22.199 --> 01:06:27.599
Yeah, very peaceful. I like elephants. I mean, they've got

856
01:06:28.159 --> 01:06:31.000
they've definitely got a reason to feel fairly safe, haven't

857
01:06:31.000 --> 01:06:35.760
the because of how their size, and they really as

858
01:06:35.760 --> 01:06:38.960
long as they stick together once they're adults, they don't

859
01:06:39.000 --> 01:06:40.719
really have much in the way of prey.

860
01:06:41.760 --> 01:06:48.960
But the I don't know. I just they just seem

861
01:06:49.000 --> 01:06:55.440
to be peaceful. Like wise, animals and whales as six.

862
01:06:56.440 --> 01:06:58.159
So top, my top.

863
01:06:58.159 --> 01:07:07.199
One would have been a penguin, but then probably you know,

864
01:07:07.760 --> 01:07:10.719
if you'd have asked me that question three years ago,

865
01:07:10.880 --> 01:07:14.880
four years ago, I would have said a ferret because

866
01:07:14.880 --> 01:07:21.360
I had hodary. But you know, as far as top

867
01:07:21.480 --> 01:07:24.960
favorite animals, the first one's got to be little vinny.

868
01:07:25.119 --> 01:07:29.519
So let's say a little Jack Russell, little doggie. No

869
01:07:29.559 --> 01:07:33.880
matter how annoying he is at times, he's he's my

870
01:07:34.000 --> 01:07:41.559
little boy, anything, shut up, go away, no, stop it. Yeah,

871
01:07:41.760 --> 01:07:51.559
that's it. I think I like peaceful animals. I quite

872
01:07:51.639 --> 01:07:52.360
like foxes.

873
01:07:53.400 --> 01:07:55.760
I know they're not everyone's favorite cup of tea, but

874
01:07:58.360 --> 01:08:01.960
I saw of fox the very first night I took well.

875
01:08:02.000 --> 01:08:07.440
I went to hospital with uncle's sausages and he was

876
01:08:07.519 --> 01:08:12.000
in the accident emergency in a bed, so he was

877
01:08:12.039 --> 01:08:15.639
already kind of in a war down there, and the

878
01:08:15.719 --> 01:08:17.479
nurse told me that I might as well go home

879
01:08:17.520 --> 01:08:21.359
because he wasn't going to see a doctor or get anything.

880
01:08:22.760 --> 01:08:25.000
It had a scan, but he wasn't going to get

881
01:08:25.039 --> 01:08:28.399
the results until the next day. So this is on

882
01:08:28.399 --> 01:08:33.239
a Friday night, about seven weeks ago something like that.

883
01:08:33.840 --> 01:08:37.800
I lose track of time. Now, maybe it was eight

884
01:08:37.840 --> 01:08:41.920
weeks ago and it was the end of May.

885
01:08:42.319 --> 01:08:45.399
It was the end of June. Yeah, it was the

886
01:08:45.479 --> 01:08:48.199
end of June. We hadn't got into July yet, I

887
01:08:48.199 --> 01:08:56.359
don't think. And so I left about three o'clock three

888
01:08:56.359 --> 01:09:00.000
point thirty, ordered a taxi and his fox came out.

889
01:09:00.119 --> 01:09:02.439
I've actually got a video of it. I did post

890
01:09:02.479 --> 01:09:05.319
it on Facebook, I think, and it was just looking

891
01:09:05.359 --> 01:09:09.760
at me. So I gave him a biscuit and he

892
01:09:09.800 --> 01:09:14.800
grabbed the biscuit and ran off, but very yeah, just

893
01:09:14.680 --> 01:09:15.439
just it.

894
01:09:15.479 --> 01:09:21.279
Was surreal because the whole event was surreal, going from

895
01:09:22.880 --> 01:09:28.399
just a normal day to ambulance and going to hospital

896
01:09:28.479 --> 01:09:32.640
in the back of an ambulance with him and all

897
01:09:32.680 --> 01:09:39.760
of the chaos of being in that environment and then

898
01:09:39.880 --> 01:09:46.199
suddenly walking out and it was so peaceful. There was

899
01:09:46.239 --> 01:09:48.119
no one around at three o'clock in the morning. There

900
01:09:48.159 --> 01:09:50.640
was a policeman there and he was watching the fox

901
01:09:50.680 --> 01:09:55.159
as well. I didn't even know who's there. I was like,

902
01:09:55.199 --> 01:09:55.760
I'm chucking.

903
01:09:56.000 --> 01:09:58.560
I'm chucking bits of biscuit and stuff on the floor,

904
01:09:59.119 --> 01:10:03.439
and I realized, hope, I've not broken the law, and

905
01:10:03.479 --> 01:10:06.399
he said, it's fine, just put your pants back on.

906
01:10:07.479 --> 01:10:16.279
And so it was so peaceful though, so peaceful, really calm,

907
01:10:17.920 --> 01:10:21.920
and to see this fox there. There's almost like no sound,

908
01:10:22.560 --> 01:10:26.800
very bright though, because lights everywhere, very.

909
01:10:26.680 --> 01:10:32.880
Quiet, and I hadn't It's almost I'd forgotten what it

910
01:10:32.920 --> 01:10:36.159
was like. I've forgotten what peace was like for a

911
01:10:36.159 --> 01:10:41.079
little while because in the accident emergency, it's so noisy

912
01:10:41.960 --> 01:10:44.880
because it's i mean, there's lits like thirty nurses and

913
01:10:44.960 --> 01:10:51.399
doctors all rushing around and like it's very busy it

914
01:10:51.479 --> 01:10:53.319
was weird, how calm it was.

915
01:10:57.800 --> 01:11:01.279
Mary asked me, do you think now that Luke and

916
01:11:01.359 --> 01:11:05.479
your and uncle sausages are passed, that you'll move? You

917
01:11:05.520 --> 01:11:07.720
said often you'd like to, And I was wondering if

918
01:11:07.760 --> 01:11:12.479
you'd go to a for a house exchange closer to

919
01:11:12.520 --> 01:11:16.159
the facilities of a town or near your dad.

920
01:11:16.920 --> 01:11:19.399
Ps. Your dad must have really loved you in your brothers,

921
01:11:19.439 --> 01:11:21.199
as he never gave up until he got you all

922
01:11:21.239 --> 01:11:25.680
back home. I read that actually before that was that

923
01:11:25.920 --> 01:11:30.960
maybe tingle a little bit with emotion, because yeah, I

924
01:11:31.000 --> 01:11:36.399
didn't appreciate it. I probably did appreciateive. To be fair,

925
01:11:38.520 --> 01:11:41.119
I probably didn't appreciate what he did when I was

926
01:11:41.159 --> 01:11:44.920
an older kid and in my twenties, maybe in my thirties,

927
01:11:45.039 --> 01:11:50.800
maybe even in my forties. But at the time when

928
01:11:50.840 --> 01:11:54.119
he was coming and taking us back, taking us away

929
01:11:54.119 --> 01:11:56.039
from there, and when he eventually took us away from

930
01:11:56.039 --> 01:12:00.239
there for good. No one in the world can tell

931
01:12:00.279 --> 01:12:04.039
me that I did not appreciate what he and my

932
01:12:04.159 --> 01:12:06.000
new mum had done.

933
01:12:06.319 --> 01:12:10.279
Because I did. I might not have told him that

934
01:12:10.319 --> 01:12:13.560
I appreciated it. I probably didn't know how to express

935
01:12:13.680 --> 01:12:16.680
that in the correct way could bear in my mind

936
01:12:16.720 --> 01:12:20.239
I was seven years old, but I did appreciate it,

937
01:12:21.000 --> 01:12:25.119
and maybe I haven't appreciated it in a way I have.

938
01:12:25.399 --> 01:12:28.479
I thanked him, by the way I have more recently

939
01:12:28.600 --> 01:12:31.000
the last year or so. I thanked him, so thank

940
01:12:31.039 --> 01:12:32.000
you for saving me from.

941
01:12:31.840 --> 01:12:36.880
The children's home. But he's so.

942
01:12:38.479 --> 01:12:43.319
He won't get into emotional conversations, so he won't He's like, Okay,

943
01:12:43.399 --> 01:12:49.479
not my son. You know it's but I know he's heard. Well,

944
01:12:49.600 --> 01:12:53.079
I hope he's heard me, and I do appreciate it

945
01:12:53.119 --> 01:12:58.279
because in reality, no matter how badly I've done as

946
01:12:58.319 --> 01:13:02.199
a human generally in my life, I think it would

947
01:13:02.199 --> 01:13:04.760
have been a lot worse if I'd been left in

948
01:13:04.800 --> 01:13:09.680
the children so till the age of being eighteen, I

949
01:13:09.720 --> 01:13:14.800
don't think, Yeah, I don't think i'd have even though

950
01:13:14.800 --> 01:13:20.760
I hadn't been successful and whatever. I think there's nothing

951
01:13:20.760 --> 01:13:22.760
wrong with being in the children's home two eighteen. By

952
01:13:22.760 --> 01:13:27.079
the way, I'm just talking from my own personal experience.

953
01:13:27.760 --> 01:13:36.039
How at times really badly I've done in life, and

954
01:13:36.079 --> 01:13:39.159
I think if I hadn't had.

955
01:13:39.239 --> 01:13:40.520
At least some.

956
01:13:42.399 --> 01:13:47.479
Stability, then I don't know what I would if I'd

957
01:13:47.520 --> 01:13:52.640
even be here. To be honest about being dramatic. But

958
01:13:52.960 --> 01:13:55.720
even though it wasn't always great living there, you know,

959
01:13:56.399 --> 01:14:01.279
my family life between ages seven and fifteen, there's still

960
01:14:01.319 --> 01:14:05.600
some stability. There was still the same people in the

961
01:14:05.640 --> 01:14:08.359
same house for years, so.

962
01:14:08.399 --> 01:14:12.439
That that's stable. And it wasn't like super chaotic or

963
01:14:12.479 --> 01:14:15.479
anything like that. The way I was growing brought up,

964
01:14:15.520 --> 01:14:18.199
when I was like between two and five or two

965
01:14:18.239 --> 01:14:23.920
and four whatever, two and five, probably that was chaos.

966
01:14:24.039 --> 01:14:29.399
This wasn't. So yeah, it didn't.

967
01:14:29.920 --> 01:14:33.560
It didn't prepare me for life as an adult, But

968
01:14:33.640 --> 01:14:36.119
then how do you prepare for that?

969
01:14:36.199 --> 01:14:43.079
I don't know. I didn't know that I had what

970
01:14:43.199 --> 01:14:44.840
I had. I didn't know what you know that I had,

971
01:14:44.880 --> 01:14:47.439
what was ever going on going on inside and stuff

972
01:14:47.479 --> 01:14:51.960
I hadn't dealt with, And so yeah, but I do

973
01:14:52.119 --> 01:14:58.079
appreciate my dad. I started to appreciate my brothers more

974
01:14:58.119 --> 01:15:00.840
as well, even though I'm never gonna I tell them

975
01:15:00.960 --> 01:15:04.720
unless they're listening to this. Like my oldest brother, for

976
01:15:05.319 --> 01:15:08.039
it's only recently really that I've kind of realized that

977
01:15:09.079 --> 01:15:12.560
he looked after me and my other brother. He was

978
01:15:12.600 --> 01:15:15.680
in charge of us. He looked after us for days,

979
01:15:16.039 --> 01:15:21.000
days on end sometimes, and he was a little kid himself.

980
01:15:23.800 --> 01:15:26.399
You know, I'll be four years old. He was only

981
01:15:26.439 --> 01:15:36.119
eight years old, so and also my other brother. All

982
01:15:36.159 --> 01:15:41.000
the stuff that's happened, there's a reason for that, you know,

983
01:15:41.119 --> 01:15:48.119
there's a reason for what happened later in life. So yeah,

984
01:15:48.199 --> 01:15:55.880
it's I just say, if I could, you know, the

985
01:15:55.920 --> 01:16:00.840
only if I could just have not be taken away

986
01:16:01.039 --> 01:16:04.279
from London when I was two, I think i'd been

987
01:16:04.279 --> 01:16:09.079
all right, that's the thing. It's just that period between

988
01:16:09.119 --> 01:16:14.960
two and seven. But yeah, it's got heavy quick, didn't it.

989
01:16:14.960 --> 01:16:24.079
I move on from that. I don't know about moving anymore.

990
01:16:28.680 --> 01:16:33.680
I really don't know. I'd like to, I got this

991
01:16:33.800 --> 01:16:38.359
is a base, this is somewhere i'd like to perhaps

992
01:16:38.359 --> 01:16:42.560
start traveling, not now, but in the future, although I

993
01:16:42.560 --> 01:16:44.640
don't want to lead everything off to the future, because

994
01:16:45.560 --> 01:16:49.039
the future doesn't always happen, does it if you keep

995
01:16:49.079 --> 01:16:52.600
putting it off. But I would like to travel, would

996
01:16:52.640 --> 01:16:56.560
like to not just abroad, but you know, in this country,

997
01:16:57.720 --> 01:17:02.600
get around a little bit, maybe go on tour, do

998
01:17:02.680 --> 01:17:08.880
my let me boy to sleep on tour. I don't know,

999
01:17:09.399 --> 01:17:14.319
get a little mini bus. So I'm not sure. I

1000
01:17:14.359 --> 01:17:18.000
don't about moving closer to my dad. There will be

1001
01:17:18.039 --> 01:17:21.520
a time when I probably want to do that, and

1002
01:17:21.720 --> 01:17:25.199
I hope there isn't, but I've got a feeling because

1003
01:17:25.239 --> 01:17:32.600
of his age and he's I do sometimes wish I

1004
01:17:32.640 --> 01:17:35.479
lived a bit closer, because then I could just pop

1005
01:17:35.479 --> 01:17:38.319
around and see him, have a cup of tea, see

1006
01:17:38.319 --> 01:17:42.640
how he is, and you know, pop round Christmas Day,

1007
01:17:44.680 --> 01:17:47.960
well basically get free food, really get some dinners and stuff,

1008
01:17:48.000 --> 01:17:54.199
and then that would be handy. But it didn't, just

1009
01:17:54.239 --> 01:17:56.399
didn't work out that way. I ended up moving to

1010
01:17:57.279 --> 01:18:00.359
you know here. I've been there for ten and a

1011
01:18:00.399 --> 01:18:07.920
half years now, nearly April May June July August, ten

1012
01:18:08.000 --> 01:18:11.920
years and four months. Julie asks me, do you have

1013
01:18:11.960 --> 01:18:16.039
any tips for dealing with depression? I might, Actually I might.

1014
01:18:16.319 --> 01:18:19.600
I quite like to. I don't know why. I thought back.

1015
01:18:19.640 --> 01:18:25.920
Maybe moving to Scotland on maybe Wales or.

1016
01:18:27.279 --> 01:18:30.840
I don't know why. Just somewhere near the beach would

1017
01:18:30.840 --> 01:18:35.439
be nice. That'd be quite a nice place to retire,

1018
01:18:35.760 --> 01:18:40.319
because this is so far out of the way anyway,

1019
01:18:41.520 --> 01:18:53.760
Do you have any tips for dealing with depression? Julie, Wow, boom,

1020
01:18:54.159 --> 01:19:03.960
seek medical help. I would say so, and I'm not

1021
01:19:04.000 --> 01:19:07.880
just saying that as a kind of dismissive way of

1022
01:19:07.920 --> 01:19:09.720
saying that I'm not at all.

1023
01:19:11.760 --> 01:19:15.039
I had depression for years and years and years and years,

1024
01:19:15.680 --> 01:19:19.680
never told anyone, never. I didn't even know that there

1025
01:19:19.800 --> 01:19:23.199
was help out there. I didn't know that really things

1026
01:19:23.199 --> 01:19:27.039
like medication, you know, or I just put up with it.

1027
01:19:27.239 --> 01:19:30.159
And I'd had it since I was a kid, since

1028
01:19:30.199 --> 01:19:33.800
I was a kid. I was up and down all

1029
01:19:33.840 --> 01:19:38.439
over the place, since I was like a child. And

1030
01:19:38.439 --> 01:19:43.079
it's only when I was twenty five, after being ill

1031
01:19:43.119 --> 01:19:48.439
for about seven to eight months with stomach problems which

1032
01:19:49.279 --> 01:19:54.560
I'm guessing now would probably be called pet And what's

1033
01:19:54.600 --> 01:19:56.760
it called stomach stress?

1034
01:19:59.560 --> 01:20:02.880
Oh, I don't know. I forget it was called, but

1035
01:20:03.359 --> 01:20:07.720
I possibly had that. But I got tested for loads

1036
01:20:07.760 --> 01:20:09.039
of different things, and I was.

1037
01:20:08.960 --> 01:20:13.239
Twenty four, not twenty five, twenty four, and ultimately the

1038
01:20:13.319 --> 01:20:17.680
doctor said to me, it's stress, put me on antidepressants,

1039
01:20:18.279 --> 01:20:22.640
and within a short time, all the problems left, or

1040
01:20:22.680 --> 01:20:29.880
of the physical ailments left, and I couldn't believe it.

1041
01:20:31.520 --> 01:20:35.000
And it had a change, it changed. I put weight on,

1042
01:20:35.159 --> 01:20:41.520
put half a stone on, which was needed, and I

1043
01:20:41.640 --> 01:20:48.680
just felt different. So I didn't get any counseling. But

1044
01:20:48.720 --> 01:20:56.279
then I was back on antidepressants ninety seven, so it's

1045
01:20:56.399 --> 01:20:59.319
ninety five ninety seven. I was back on them and

1046
01:20:59.359 --> 01:21:07.600
I did get I got counseling for the first time,

1047
01:21:09.279 --> 01:21:11.319
and then you know, I was on and off them

1048
01:21:11.399 --> 01:21:15.640
for years until I was finally diagnosed with bipolar in

1049
01:21:15.720 --> 01:21:25.399
two thousand and ten December, when I was forty twenty

1050
01:21:25.479 --> 01:21:35.640
eleven December, so I was forty one, forty one years old.

1051
01:21:36.079 --> 01:21:46.319
And so, yeah, speak to someone if you're going through

1052
01:21:46.319 --> 01:21:49.399
a depression, because it's I think there's different types when

1053
01:21:49.399 --> 01:21:57.199
you've got grief, bereavement. I know it's someoneould say that's

1054
01:21:57.199 --> 01:22:01.680
not depression, but it is. But it's it's almost it's

1055
01:22:01.720 --> 01:22:06.960
for a reason, because a lot of depression can sometimes

1056
01:22:07.000 --> 01:22:10.600
feel there's no there's no reason for it, you know.

1057
01:22:11.359 --> 01:22:14.000
I mean, I've been in the past, and now this

1058
01:22:14.119 --> 01:22:16.880
is getting quite serious, but in the past, I've been

1059
01:22:16.920 --> 01:22:23.000
in the most amazing environments and I felt like I

1060
01:22:23.000 --> 01:22:25.640
couldn't have felt worse if I was at a funeral

1061
01:22:27.000 --> 01:22:31.039
and I didn't know why. There was no reason for me,

1062
01:22:31.720 --> 01:22:37.720
no obvious reason for me to feel that way, and

1063
01:22:39.359 --> 01:22:41.079
it's yeah, so.

1064
01:22:47.000 --> 01:22:52.399
But then there's sometimes there's an obvious reason, you know,

1065
01:22:52.640 --> 01:22:55.760
if there was a period in my time in ninety seven. Well,

1066
01:22:55.760 --> 01:23:00.000
I lost my job, my girlfriend and I couldn't have

1067
01:23:00.239 --> 01:23:02.760
to pay the rent, didn't have enough money for food,

1068
01:23:03.479 --> 01:23:06.079
like all at the same time, within like about a

1069
01:23:06.119 --> 01:23:06.960
month of each other.

1070
01:23:09.039 --> 01:23:14.560
Yeah, I was depressed, and kind of what else would

1071
01:23:14.600 --> 01:23:16.439
I be in that situation.

1072
01:23:17.520 --> 01:23:22.279
Without the coping mechanisms or any kind of safety net,

1073
01:23:23.600 --> 01:23:25.439
anyone to help me.

1074
01:23:26.920 --> 01:23:33.199
Or asking for help. So yeah, it's ask for help.

1075
01:23:33.520 --> 01:23:35.880
That's my thing. That's my tips. Ask for help.

1076
01:23:36.079 --> 01:23:39.279
If you're dealing with depression. Now, I don't know, Julie,

1077
01:23:39.319 --> 01:23:45.560
if you're coming from a perspective of someone that's got depression,

1078
01:23:47.319 --> 01:23:50.520
that hasn't been diagnosed with depression, that's not on medication,

1079
01:23:51.119 --> 01:23:59.399
or someone that's going through it regularly, that has medication

1080
01:24:01.520 --> 01:24:04.720
and just sort of has it regularly and on and

1081
01:24:04.760 --> 01:24:07.640
off and stuff. See, I have it, but it's part

1082
01:24:07.640 --> 01:24:12.479
of the bipolar so it's kind of it's not all

1083
01:24:12.520 --> 01:24:14.800
the time. When it hits, it's hard, but it's not

1084
01:24:14.880 --> 01:24:21.119
all the time, thankfully. When I've had like months and

1085
01:24:21.199 --> 01:24:24.159
months and months of it when I was younger, but

1086
01:24:24.279 --> 01:24:29.920
I'm on medication, and so I've had depression separate.

1087
01:24:29.600 --> 01:24:34.880
From the bipolar and yeah, so all kinds of things

1088
01:24:36.279 --> 01:24:40.439
and PTSD I was diagnosed with in two thousand and three,

1089
01:24:41.840 --> 01:24:44.239
Like would you talk about PTSD?

1090
01:24:45.159 --> 01:24:51.199
Like, how can something affect me? I'm thirty two years old?

1091
01:24:51.640 --> 01:24:54.960
How can I be affected by something that happened when

1092
01:24:54.960 --> 01:25:00.600
I was four? And I really didn't get it. I

1093
01:25:00.600 --> 01:25:05.760
didn't understand how something traumatic happening.

1094
01:25:05.560 --> 01:25:08.239
All that time ago could affect me as an adult.

1095
01:25:08.840 --> 01:25:15.640
It didn't make sense to me. But yeah, so I

1096
01:25:15.640 --> 01:25:21.119
would say seek help, ask for help if you'd need it,

1097
01:25:22.119 --> 01:25:27.840
talk to someone you know, even if it's even you know,

1098
01:25:28.039 --> 01:25:33.000
the Samaritans. There's phone lines probably in most I don't know,

1099
01:25:33.119 --> 01:25:35.840
let's say western countries anyway, I don't know about other countries,

1100
01:25:36.880 --> 01:25:43.760
but probably in most European and probably America, Canada, Australia,

1101
01:25:44.279 --> 01:25:49.880
the UK, there's like things like Samaritans that you can

1102
01:25:49.960 --> 01:25:54.159
phone up and just talk about what's going on, or

1103
01:25:54.159 --> 01:25:57.880
if you have a friend or a family member that

1104
01:25:58.000 --> 01:26:04.600
you can just be honest with someone that you can just.

1105
01:26:07.920 --> 01:26:13.319
Hopefully someone that will listen without judging. And sometimes you'll

1106
01:26:13.359 --> 01:26:15.840
need for someone to do that. It will need to

1107
01:26:15.880 --> 01:26:16.640
be a stranger.

1108
01:26:18.159 --> 01:26:20.800
It might need to be because not everyone's got that

1109
01:26:20.840 --> 01:26:29.439
as like a person in their life. So and also

1110
01:26:33.119 --> 01:26:35.520
probably don't go and talk to someone that wants to

1111
01:26:35.560 --> 01:26:42.319
talk about themselves because it's not really a conversation. So

1112
01:26:42.399 --> 01:26:43.960
if you if you've got someone that wants to just

1113
01:26:44.039 --> 01:26:51.239
have a normal conversation and telling them your problems, not

1114
01:26:51.279 --> 01:26:54.520
saying don't, but sometimes telling those kinds of people your problems,

1115
01:26:55.680 --> 01:26:58.760
they're they're just waiting to talk about their own stuff,

1116
01:26:59.840 --> 01:27:04.520
and that's not always helpful. So if you've got a

1117
01:27:04.600 --> 01:27:13.039
friend that you can trust and maybe ask them, is

1118
01:27:13.079 --> 01:27:15.880
that okay if I just talked to you about what's

1119
01:27:15.960 --> 01:27:22.520
going on with me, So it kind of maybe ask permission,

1120
01:27:22.720 --> 01:27:27.039
not in a kind of in a nice way.

1121
01:27:27.039 --> 01:27:30.479
He had a very loose and gentle way, just to

1122
01:27:30.520 --> 01:27:35.039
make sure that they're in the right space. Because I

1123
01:27:35.079 --> 01:27:40.760
remember when Luke before he went, he was in a

1124
01:27:40.760 --> 01:27:45.960
bad way before he left us, very bad way, and

1125
01:27:47.279 --> 01:27:50.399
he phoned up he told me he came up here,

1126
01:27:50.399 --> 01:27:53.279
and he told me he phoned up two of his

1127
01:27:53.479 --> 01:27:56.720
closest people that he would talk to on the phone.

1128
01:27:57.960 --> 01:27:59.399
So he wouldn't talk to me on the phone. He

1129
01:27:59.520 --> 01:28:01.600
just come up because I was down he was downstairs.

1130
01:28:01.680 --> 01:28:06.399
I was up here, and both of those people said

1131
01:28:06.439 --> 01:28:09.439
to the same thing to him that they couldn't they

1132
01:28:09.560 --> 01:28:11.640
could listen to him going on because they had their

1133
01:28:11.640 --> 01:28:12.640
own problems to deal with.

1134
01:28:16.439 --> 01:28:19.600
Two different people that I know he was very close to,

1135
01:28:19.760 --> 01:28:22.119
and he didn't see them very often, but he used

1136
01:28:22.119 --> 01:28:23.720
to talk to him on the phone quite a lot,

1137
01:28:25.159 --> 01:28:30.079
and at this point he wasn't He wasn't being particularly

1138
01:28:30.119 --> 01:28:33.720
pleasant either with it, so it was hard to listen

1139
01:28:33.880 --> 01:28:39.960
to what he was saying because he wasn't always being nice.

1140
01:28:40.199 --> 01:28:43.960
This it's a very difficult situation. If you've got someone

1141
01:28:46.760 --> 01:28:50.640
that you can trust, talk to them. If you haven't,

1142
01:28:51.199 --> 01:28:55.199
then talked to a stranger, make use of the mental

1143
01:28:55.199 --> 01:29:01.920
health services that are around. What you could do is

1144
01:29:03.560 --> 01:29:10.560
make a recording or write down how you're feeling now.

1145
01:29:10.760 --> 01:29:14.680
Years ago, I had a bit of a an episode.

1146
01:29:14.760 --> 01:29:17.840
This was in ninety seven when all this stuff was happening,

1147
01:29:19.159 --> 01:29:25.640
and I lost it, like in a big way, completely lost,

1148
01:29:26.680 --> 01:29:31.199
and it was kind of I was on the verge

1149
01:29:31.239 --> 01:29:38.279
of it was just I don't know, it was really weird.

1150
01:29:39.159 --> 01:29:43.600
But what I did is I wrote letters to three

1151
01:29:43.640 --> 01:29:50.279
different people, and I wrote and I wrote and I wrote,

1152
01:29:50.319 --> 01:29:50.720
and I.

1153
01:29:50.640 --> 01:29:56.199
Wrote everything that I felt, and once I'd done that,

1154
01:29:58.399 --> 01:30:04.159
I actually did feel some relief. Now I kind of

1155
01:30:04.199 --> 01:30:07.000
knew about this. I must have seen it in a

1156
01:30:07.079 --> 01:30:15.399
book somewhere along the way. Yeah, I don't know where.

1157
01:30:15.560 --> 01:30:16.800
Maybe I saw it on TV.

1158
01:30:18.840 --> 01:30:20.640
But you know, BA, this is ninety seven, this is

1159
01:30:20.680 --> 01:30:25.520
long before I wasn't doing hypnosis or NLP, hadn't really

1160
01:30:25.560 --> 01:30:32.359
even any interesting you know, counseling, never had counseling at

1161
01:30:32.359 --> 01:30:38.359
that point. That was a few months later. But it

1162
01:30:38.520 --> 01:30:43.239
definitely helped writing down how I felt. But what is

1163
01:30:43.239 --> 01:30:45.720
is you don't write to them the way you would

1164
01:30:45.720 --> 01:30:49.880
talk to them to their face. You write down everything

1165
01:30:52.319 --> 01:30:54.439
that you want to say, that you want to express,

1166
01:30:55.159 --> 01:30:59.760
no matter how horrible it is, because you don't send

1167
01:30:59.760 --> 01:31:02.600
it to them. You don't send the letter to the person.

1168
01:31:03.520 --> 01:31:06.600
You don't keep that letter, you destroy it, you get

1169
01:31:06.720 --> 01:31:12.039
rid of it. But you've allowed yourself to express it.

1170
01:31:14.720 --> 01:31:18.119
And that's what I did, and I found it useful.

1171
01:31:24.199 --> 01:31:27.760
Another thing I did when there was a family, real

1172
01:31:27.840 --> 01:31:34.640
big family thing that happened that summer, and I spent

1173
01:31:34.800 --> 01:31:38.640
probably about three or four or five days all day

1174
01:31:38.800 --> 01:31:42.760
just writing in the pad. I got through a couple

1175
01:31:42.800 --> 01:31:47.279
of pads for you know, just talked about what I

1176
01:31:47.319 --> 01:31:51.079
was feeling. Not all day was I doing it, but

1177
01:31:51.119 --> 01:31:53.520
I did spend quite a few hours during the day

1178
01:31:53.960 --> 01:31:57.720
and in the garden just writing down how I was feeling,

1179
01:32:00.920 --> 01:32:08.680
and I did find that that helped as well. Now,

1180
01:32:08.760 --> 01:32:13.720
in the past, I've made videos and made podcasts where

1181
01:32:13.760 --> 01:32:15.479
I've talked about how I felt.

1182
01:32:15.840 --> 01:32:16.239
And.

1183
01:32:17.720 --> 01:32:22.680
Sometimes that can also help. I've also made podcasts that

1184
01:32:22.720 --> 01:32:24.159
I've never released.

1185
01:32:24.600 --> 01:32:27.800
Where I've really gone in depth about how I'm feeling,

1186
01:32:28.600 --> 01:32:32.039
and then I end up deleting them because it was

1187
01:32:32.119 --> 01:32:37.359
not suitable, not allowed. It was in no way I

1188
01:32:37.399 --> 01:32:39.880
was not going to be putting that on there. So

1189
01:32:40.359 --> 01:32:42.560
there's a few ways that I would say to deal

1190
01:32:42.600 --> 01:32:45.800
with it, to deal with depression, but the most important

1191
01:32:45.800 --> 01:32:50.199
thing is that you're gentle with yourself and you don't

1192
01:32:50.199 --> 01:32:54.560
give yourself a hard time, and there's no right or wrong,

1193
01:32:54.760 --> 01:32:58.199
there's no rules. Really, we're all different.

1194
01:32:59.000 --> 01:33:05.039
And just remember that there are people out there that care.

1195
01:33:07.119 --> 01:33:10.159
So you know it's a cliche, You're not the only one.

1196
01:33:10.840 --> 01:33:12.880
You're not the only one going through that. Loads of

1197
01:33:12.920 --> 01:33:16.800
other people, millions of other people are also going through

1198
01:33:16.840 --> 01:33:24.279
their own journey of depression, whether short term or otherwise.

1199
01:33:26.039 --> 01:33:31.640
And there's so many people out there that do care.

1200
01:33:36.479 --> 01:33:43.560
So I definitely would say seek professional medical help, speak

1201
01:33:43.640 --> 01:33:51.199
to your doctor, whoever the medical professional is in your country,

1202
01:33:51.760 --> 01:33:56.720
wherever you live, and you just find someone, ask for therapy,

1203
01:33:57.000 --> 01:33:58.199
ask to.

1204
01:34:00.079 --> 01:34:05.039
Ask for help. There's no harm.

1205
01:34:04.720 --> 01:34:12.720
In asking for help, and talking to someone about how

1206
01:34:12.760 --> 01:34:13.800
you're feeling.

1207
01:34:16.199 --> 01:34:20.640
Can really help. I've been on both sides of the sofa,

1208
01:34:20.720 --> 01:34:23.800
as it were, for this one. I've been.

1209
01:34:25.159 --> 01:34:34.600
I've done hundreds of hours as a patient in therapy, counseling, psychotherapy,

1210
01:34:34.800 --> 01:34:39.479
you name it. I've done lots and lots of lots

1211
01:34:39.479 --> 01:34:43.880
of hours. I mean even when I was counseling at college.

1212
01:34:43.920 --> 01:34:47.800
When I first started, I had to have twenty hours

1213
01:34:47.920 --> 01:34:54.239
of personal counseling as part of my college course just outside.

1214
01:34:54.319 --> 01:34:57.680
I pay for it twenty hours, and I had to

1215
01:34:57.720 --> 01:35:00.960
have this signed off by the counselor to prove that

1216
01:35:01.000 --> 01:35:03.680
I'd had those hours, and I had to do that.

1217
01:35:03.680 --> 01:35:06.560
That was part of the contract of doing the degree

1218
01:35:07.319 --> 01:35:15.239
and to become a counselor myself. Well, I knew someone

1219
01:35:15.239 --> 01:35:18.600
on the course and they did that. It might be

1220
01:35:18.680 --> 01:35:21.600
ten hours, might not ye, It might not been twenty,

1221
01:35:21.600 --> 01:35:22.279
It might have been ten.

1222
01:35:23.479 --> 01:35:25.560
Someone on the course that actually said that they did it,

1223
01:35:25.640 --> 01:35:29.159
and they just made up a character. They didn't even

1224
01:35:29.159 --> 01:35:32.279
talk about themselves in counseling. They just made up a character.

1225
01:35:34.680 --> 01:35:38.119
And I thought, what is the point in that you

1226
01:35:38.159 --> 01:35:44.720
can't even be yourself when you're paying someone to be

1227
01:35:44.760 --> 01:35:48.640
a counselor, you know they're professional counselor, you're paying them

1228
01:35:49.399 --> 01:35:53.199
twenty thirty pounds an hour whatever, and.

1229
01:35:53.119 --> 01:35:56.119
You put on a character just because you don't want

1230
01:35:56.159 --> 01:36:00.880
to open yourself up. Yeah, you want to be a counselor,

1231
01:36:01.720 --> 01:36:05.920
like wow, But yeah, it's that I found that. I'm

1232
01:36:05.920 --> 01:36:08.319
not sure if it's true, but I found it very unusual.

1233
01:36:10.399 --> 01:36:16.039
But what I did is I spent two whole years,

1234
01:36:17.000 --> 01:36:23.720
maybe longer with this counselor. So I had probably one

1235
01:36:23.840 --> 01:36:29.319
hundred yeah, actually probably one hundred, maybe one hundred and

1236
01:36:29.319 --> 01:36:33.399
fifty over one hundred sessions. So I did at least

1237
01:36:33.399 --> 01:36:37.399
two years, you know, once a week, every week, every Friday.

1238
01:36:38.800 --> 01:36:43.520
And I think she retired or she moved away something

1239
01:36:43.560 --> 01:36:48.000
like that. She just couldn't stand me any longer. She

1240
01:36:48.079 --> 01:36:58.119
had to move to early retirement. So yeah, ask for help,

1241
01:37:00.159 --> 01:37:02.920
keep going on. But yeah, that's very much well cover,

1242
01:37:03.560 --> 01:37:08.439
well cover. Rob I also, as I said, I've been

1243
01:37:08.479 --> 01:37:11.319
a client of been a patient. I've also been a

1244
01:37:11.399 --> 01:37:15.279
counselor for what four and a half years or so

1245
01:37:15.520 --> 01:37:17.680
that I did it, so.

1246
01:37:19.600 --> 01:37:25.880
I can see the benefit of talking to a stranger

1247
01:37:28.319 --> 01:37:30.479
and the benefit of being that stranger.

1248
01:37:31.920 --> 01:37:37.279
Yeah, So Karen asks me Hi Jason questions for Friday.

1249
01:37:37.800 --> 01:37:40.199
Do you believe in ghosts? And have you seen one?

1250
01:37:40.920 --> 01:37:44.079
And do you think aliens and UFOs are time travelers

1251
01:37:44.079 --> 01:37:48.479
from the future rather than extraterrestrial beings? Love the show,

1252
01:37:48.520 --> 01:37:57.399
by the way, Thank you, Karen. The thing is, I

1253
01:37:58.800 --> 01:38:01.479
don't not believe even anything. You know. I'm kind of

1254
01:38:01.600 --> 01:38:06.720
very open minded. You know. I've never seen a ghost

1255
01:38:07.000 --> 01:38:12.760
that I know of. I kind of it's weird. I

1256
01:38:12.880 --> 01:38:15.720
kind of don't care if they exist or not. Not

1257
01:38:15.760 --> 01:38:20.159
in a like harsh way, but I'm open to it,

1258
01:38:20.279 --> 01:38:23.479
like great if they do brilliant. If they don't brilliant,

1259
01:38:23.479 --> 01:38:30.319
it's fine. I've never seen a ghost. But I also

1260
01:38:30.520 --> 01:38:42.119
know that the brain can produce hallucinations so that people

1261
01:38:42.439 --> 01:38:45.520
sometimes see things that aren't there. I'm not talking about

1262
01:38:45.600 --> 01:38:50.239
serious mental honess. If I just the general person might

1263
01:38:50.279 --> 01:38:51.479
have a you.

1264
01:38:51.439 --> 01:38:57.239
Know, a false hallucination sometimes in life whether it's due

1265
01:38:57.319 --> 01:39:05.319
to stress or grief or fear or whatever. So I

1266
01:39:05.359 --> 01:39:07.600
don't know, and I've never seen one. As far as

1267
01:39:07.640 --> 01:39:12.520
aliens in UFOs, I think that's kind of almost the opposite,

1268
01:39:13.319 --> 01:39:14.640
although I will say.

1269
01:39:15.960 --> 01:39:18.159
With ghosts, it's an energy, isn't it. It's like an

1270
01:39:18.239 --> 01:39:19.760
energy we can't see.

1271
01:39:20.000 --> 01:39:23.720
Now we know now we didn't by say we know

1272
01:39:23.720 --> 01:39:30.960
as humans we are surrounded by invisible energy. That's how

1273
01:39:31.079 --> 01:39:34.840
radio signals work, isn't it. I mean, it's phenomenal that

1274
01:39:34.840 --> 01:39:42.640
that was ever found and created that you can transmit

1275
01:39:43.880 --> 01:39:50.319
a voice talk to someone through the air just by

1276
01:39:50.439 --> 01:40:04.720
using you know, invisible energy signals. So we're surrounded by energy,

1277
01:40:05.439 --> 01:40:09.880
So who knows what's what we can't see because we can't.

1278
01:40:10.439 --> 01:40:12.760
Most of the stuff in the world we can't see,

1279
01:40:13.840 --> 01:40:19.159
you know, whenever there's a gap, there's billions upon billions

1280
01:40:19.199 --> 01:40:22.359
and billions of particles between.

1281
01:40:21.840 --> 01:40:27.720
Me and the wall on the other side of the room.

1282
01:40:28.359 --> 01:40:31.000
That gap between me sitting on the sofa and that wall,

1283
01:40:31.439 --> 01:40:35.680
trillions upon trillions and trillions probably of particles that are

1284
01:40:35.680 --> 01:40:42.199
invisible to me, but they are there. So it's kind

1285
01:40:42.239 --> 01:40:47.319
of yeah, I don't know the ghosts, I mean, who knows.

1286
01:40:47.399 --> 01:40:53.079
Maybe we're the ghosts. Do you think aliens and UFOs? So?

1287
01:40:54.800 --> 01:40:58.319
I think? I mean, I'd love to say this with

1288
01:40:58.359 --> 01:41:03.199
some kind of originality, but it's pretty much impossible to

1289
01:41:03.279 --> 01:41:08.520
be original with this. It seems absurd to think that

1290
01:41:10.039 --> 01:41:17.960
if the universe really is almost infinite and there's billions

1291
01:41:18.079 --> 01:41:21.760
and billions of planets, that we would be the only

1292
01:41:21.800 --> 01:41:30.600
one with life, this kind of life, you know, intelligent life.

1293
01:41:30.600 --> 01:41:36.720
Shall we say so? Yeah? I would. I'd both say

1294
01:41:37.760 --> 01:41:45.640
I reckon there are other beings out there, and I

1295
01:41:45.680 --> 01:41:49.479
also hope there are. I really hope they are. I

1296
01:41:49.520 --> 01:41:52.840
think that would be so exciting, and I hope to

1297
01:41:52.840 --> 01:41:56.840
see it in my life. I don't want an alien

1298
01:41:56.880 --> 01:41:59.960
invasion or nothing like that. I don't want my independent

1299
01:42:00.039 --> 01:42:04.319
didn't stay to happen, but i'd love to see just

1300
01:42:05.000 --> 01:42:09.319
I don't know. I think it's just it's amazing, it's exciting,

1301
01:42:11.239 --> 01:42:16.199
and yeah, I think it'd be brilliant time traveling. Yeah,

1302
01:42:16.359 --> 01:42:24.600
I don't know. I mean, I sometimes think I reckon,

1303
01:42:24.640 --> 01:42:32.159
we're all aliens just landed on this planet. Can you

1304
01:42:32.199 --> 01:42:36.920
hear that motorbike? Bless him? Or is he driving off?

1305
01:42:38.760 --> 01:42:45.079
Oh he's a good little bunny. He's driving off. Thank

1306
01:42:45.159 --> 01:42:56.600
you bye, Save travels. I think I'd like to be

1307
01:42:56.640 --> 01:43:00.520
a time traveler, but technically we're all time travelers, aren't we,

1308
01:43:00.640 --> 01:43:09.640
or traveling through time together? I'd like to, Yeah, I reckon.

1309
01:43:09.680 --> 01:43:15.520
I'm just I think that the human erace, there's so

1310
01:43:15.560 --> 01:43:20.239
many differences between the different parts of the world and

1311
01:43:20.840 --> 01:43:26.800
between people. I reckon we're all aliens, orses from different

1312
01:43:27.000 --> 01:43:33.119
different planets, which maybe why people just can't get on.

1313
01:43:33.560 --> 01:43:39.800
Maybe sometimes they have such different viewpoints and such different mentalities,

1314
01:43:39.880 --> 01:43:45.239
different ways of thinking, and maybe that's that's a planet thing,

1315
01:43:49.520 --> 01:43:50.520
you don't idea.

1316
01:43:50.680 --> 01:43:55.600
Maybe people from Jupiter can't get on with bars men

1317
01:43:55.720 --> 01:43:58.640
for Venus, women are from Mars or whatever it was,

1318
01:43:59.520 --> 01:44:05.359
And maybe it's that, you know, we can get on

1319
01:44:05.439 --> 01:44:06.039
to a degree.

1320
01:44:06.159 --> 01:44:12.479
Maybe maybe it's very difficult. I don't know. I just

1321
01:44:13.560 --> 01:44:17.159
I hope that there are aliens. It's just going to

1322
01:44:17.239 --> 01:44:22.520
be even more harder now because of AI. There's so

1323
01:44:22.720 --> 01:44:26.800
much absolute I don't know what the right word would be.

1324
01:44:30.520 --> 01:44:33.399
I've noticed it more. I'm not I don't even like

1325
01:44:33.439 --> 01:44:37.119
being on Facebook anymore, like the normal kind of I

1326
01:44:37.199 --> 01:44:41.800
like my little group, but there's so much rubbish coming

1327
01:44:41.840 --> 01:44:48.399
onto Facebook, which is just made up. It's all AI

1328
01:44:49.880 --> 01:44:53.079
pictures of people together that have never even met each other.

1329
01:44:56.439 --> 01:45:00.159
It's just getting And the thing is, I can how

1330
01:45:00.159 --> 01:45:03.199
old that those ones are lies because I know the

1331
01:45:03.319 --> 01:45:08.800
facts I know. But that's probably only not even a

1332
01:45:09.000 --> 01:45:14.920
tiny zero point zero points zero points zero one percent,

1333
01:45:16.640 --> 01:45:19.560
not even that of how much stuff is on Facebook

1334
01:45:19.840 --> 01:45:24.960
that I don't know is made up? And how much

1335
01:45:25.000 --> 01:45:28.560
of that is going into my brain turn itself into

1336
01:45:28.640 --> 01:45:35.159
facts when it isn't facts. So yeah, I do find

1337
01:45:35.199 --> 01:45:43.279
it weird though, all those years non stop UFO sightings

1338
01:45:44.159 --> 01:45:49.239
on camera, but as soon as everyone in the world

1339
01:45:50.039 --> 01:45:55.039
has mobile phone cameras on their phones, we get hardly

1340
01:45:55.159 --> 01:46:01.239
any sightings of actual UFOs compared to how we used to,

1341
01:46:04.159 --> 01:46:14.079
or of Bigfoot or the Lockness Monster, the yetty. So yeah,

1342
01:46:15.199 --> 01:46:19.079
Rich asks did you go to school university for hypnosis

1343
01:46:19.199 --> 01:46:21.479
or as all your learnings come from reading books, self

1344
01:46:21.479 --> 01:46:24.319
taught a bit, a bit, a bit bit of both.

1345
01:46:26.119 --> 01:46:26.640
I did.

1346
01:46:28.039 --> 01:46:31.159
I've been self taught, and I also did hypnosis courses,

1347
01:46:31.680 --> 01:46:40.359
so it's a mixture mixture of things. Also, I would

1348
01:46:40.399 --> 01:46:47.159
say most learnings has come from doing it, So nineteen

1349
01:46:47.279 --> 01:46:53.399
years of doing it, I've been I started off doing

1350
01:46:53.439 --> 01:46:55.359
it with people face to face.

1351
01:46:56.319 --> 01:47:02.479
I used to do a Stop's Yeah, free pain release

1352
01:47:02.520 --> 01:47:05.600
service I used to have, and I'd see people face

1353
01:47:05.640 --> 01:47:08.319
to face and help them with their chronic pain.

1354
01:47:08.640 --> 01:47:10.960
And then I kind of people started asking me for

1355
01:47:11.039 --> 01:47:15.520
more things like stop certain things that they wanted me

1356
01:47:15.560 --> 01:47:18.399
to help with, and I'd help them with that. But

1357
01:47:18.479 --> 01:47:22.920
I was aiming at stop to keep sating. Stopped, I

1358
01:47:23.600 --> 01:47:28.119
to reduce chronic pain. That was what I was sort

1359
01:47:28.159 --> 01:47:34.479
of aiming at. And then I started doing the group

1360
01:47:34.720 --> 01:47:40.199
relaxation sessions at and Alcohol and Drug Charity, and then

1361
01:47:40.520 --> 01:47:44.039
I was kind of headhunted.

1362
01:47:43.479 --> 01:47:48.920
For a drug rehab place because they'd heard that I

1363
01:47:49.039 --> 01:47:51.800
was doing what I was doing at the alcohol place

1364
01:47:52.239 --> 01:47:53.800
and they asked me if i'd do it there, So

1365
01:47:53.880 --> 01:47:57.840
I did, And so I did that for about a

1366
01:47:57.960 --> 01:48:01.279
year and a half at those two places or till

1367
01:48:01.279 --> 01:48:07.640
the end of November, till November two thousand and seven.

1368
01:48:08.680 --> 01:48:12.880
I started in two thousand and six. Two Yeah. So

1369
01:48:12.920 --> 01:48:17.279
I had experiencing groups, had experienced one on one, and

1370
01:48:17.359 --> 01:48:26.960
then I had experience of actually making recordings, as you know,

1371
01:48:27.039 --> 01:48:32.159
on recordings like this, making sometimes it would be live

1372
01:48:32.520 --> 01:48:37.039
sometimes online on Facebook or YouTube. Brother and most of

1373
01:48:37.039 --> 01:48:41.640
the time it'd just be a recording. I started off

1374
01:48:42.479 --> 01:48:47.359
releasing on my podcast. I'd release the live recordings from

1375
01:48:47.479 --> 01:48:51.319
the group sessions I did. That's how I kind of

1376
01:48:51.359 --> 01:48:56.079
started off because they were asking me. They're saying, well,

1377
01:48:56.600 --> 01:48:59.239
once a week isn't enough. We want to be able

1378
01:48:59.239 --> 01:49:02.439
to hear you more often. So I thought, while first

1379
01:49:02.479 --> 01:49:05.640
of all we did CDs, but that it was getting

1380
01:49:05.680 --> 01:49:09.159
expensive for the charities, so I just stuck a more

1381
01:49:09.199 --> 01:49:16.600
website and it kind of grew from there. Really. But

1382
01:49:16.640 --> 01:49:18.760
the first time I went to my first course in

1383
01:49:18.880 --> 01:49:24.800
hypnosis was at City University back in nineteen ninety eight,

1384
01:49:25.560 --> 01:49:31.640
and it was an NLP course three parts, one part

1385
01:49:31.720 --> 01:49:37.119
per turn, and it also included hypnosis. Then I was

1386
01:49:37.119 --> 01:49:41.479
buying books from then onwards and reading them, and then

1387
01:49:43.600 --> 01:49:48.680
I started doing courses again two thousand and two in

1388
01:49:48.800 --> 01:49:55.960
hypnosis and I just kept going. Did another course two

1389
01:49:56.039 --> 01:50:01.560
thousand and five. It wasn't just books that I was reading.

1390
01:50:01.640 --> 01:50:07.479
I was also had DVDs, tapes, audio recordings of trainings.

1391
01:50:08.520 --> 01:50:11.840
There was a time I had loads of stuff, you know,

1392
01:50:11.960 --> 01:50:17.439
before I moved away from when I was.

1393
01:50:16.520 --> 01:50:23.159
Still working, before I went to university. I mean, I

1394
01:50:23.239 --> 01:50:28.039
had an amazing collection of stuff, just so much stuff

1395
01:50:29.399 --> 01:50:31.520
hypnosis related.

1396
01:50:32.840 --> 01:50:39.720
So honestly it was just yeah, but that was that

1397
01:50:39.840 --> 01:50:46.840
was what ninety eight to two, So it's nine years

1398
01:50:46.880 --> 01:50:50.600
worth of collection that was to get all that stuff.

1399
01:50:51.760 --> 01:50:54.399
I don't have it all anymore. I've got some books,

1400
01:50:54.960 --> 01:51:02.800
but my interest in hypnosis has, like traditional hypnosis, has

1401
01:51:03.680 --> 01:51:09.439
reduced a lot. And I enjoyed doing the let Me

1402
01:51:09.520 --> 01:51:11.159
Boy to Sleep because it's a.

1403
01:51:11.199 --> 01:51:18.560
Mixture of different things and if it helps people to

1404
01:51:18.720 --> 01:51:22.560
fall asleep, then that's a good thing because that can

1405
01:51:22.680 --> 01:51:26.760
really or to relax. It can help me to relax,

1406
01:51:28.199 --> 01:51:36.840
then it can have such an amazing, amazingly positive effect

1407
01:51:37.159 --> 01:51:43.079
on your life without me sort of doing some kind.

1408
01:51:42.960 --> 01:51:47.880
Of trancy stuff and talking, you know, like that, I

1409
01:51:47.880 --> 01:51:54.359
can just be me. I've got slow voice anyway, naturally

1410
01:51:55.199 --> 01:52:04.359
probably monotonous, idden't know. And yeah, so this suits me

1411
01:52:05.479 --> 01:52:15.439
better than Yeah, it suits me better than the hypnosis stuff.

1412
01:52:15.439 --> 01:52:22.000
And for some reason, I don't really know why, but

1413
01:52:22.079 --> 01:52:24.159
to Let Me Boy the Sleep seems to be a

1414
01:52:24.199 --> 01:52:30.800
bit more popular than the hypnosis stuff I do, so

1415
01:52:33.199 --> 01:52:38.600
I think, yeah, I'm thinking more of just focusing on

1416
01:52:38.640 --> 01:52:50.359
this moving forward, because there's no one The thing is

1417
01:52:50.399 --> 01:52:53.079
with the hypnosis. There's loads of people you can listen

1418
01:52:53.159 --> 01:52:56.479
to hypnosis for. And I know we're a different in

1419
01:52:56.520 --> 01:53:00.000
the sense of like voice, and different in the sense

1420
01:53:00.199 --> 01:53:10.560
of techniques and strategy and the way things are done.

1421
01:53:11.079 --> 01:53:15.880
But no one does what I do. Here people do.

1422
01:53:16.039 --> 01:53:19.399
Maybe I don't do what they do either, but everyone

1423
01:53:19.399 --> 01:53:22.840
does their own thing. But this is I've not really

1424
01:53:22.920 --> 01:53:29.880
heard anyone else do this type of podcast that let

1425
01:53:29.960 --> 01:53:32.640
me boy to sleep. I mean, there is a podcast

1426
01:53:32.680 --> 01:53:36.039
called Board to Sleep or Bought Me to Sleep or something,

1427
01:53:37.560 --> 01:53:45.920
but it's not this. And there's no I'm not putting

1428
01:53:45.960 --> 01:53:49.760
anything on. I'm not putting on you know, a super

1429
01:53:49.760 --> 01:53:53.239
slow voice. It's just me. This is how I talk.

1430
01:53:55.760 --> 01:54:04.079
And yeah, it's kind of real. I suppose, I suppose,

1431
01:54:04.279 --> 01:54:13.399
I don't know, maybe, but that ladies and gentlemen, I

1432
01:54:13.439 --> 01:54:20.159
do believe is everything. All the questions answered. I hope you've.

1433
01:54:20.000 --> 01:54:24.399
Got to hear the questions all the answers. So thank

1434
01:54:24.439 --> 01:54:28.920
you for listening. Remember to be kind to yourself because

1435
01:54:28.960 --> 01:54:36.119
you do deserve to be happy, and remember to be

1436
01:54:36.239 --> 01:54:37.199
gentle with yourself.

1437
01:54:38.640 --> 01:54:52.199
You deserve to feel safe. Lots of love. Bye, Relax

1438
01:54:55.800 --> 01:55:06.399
in a more deep and meaningful way. Maybe in a

1439
01:55:06.479 --> 01:55:14.000
way that can not just allow you to feel calmer

1440
01:55:15.159 --> 01:55:24.560
now and throughout the time we spend together here, not

1441
01:55:25.119 --> 01:55:30.439
just relaxed at the end of the recording when it's

1442
01:55:30.520 --> 01:55:37.680
finished and you can enjoy that sense of comfort and peace,

1443
01:55:42.399 --> 01:55:55.239
but also I think it would be nice to have

1444
01:55:55.720 --> 01:56:12.760
those feelings of relaxation continue for longer after the recording

1445
01:56:12.880 --> 01:56:26.279
is ended, so that you can still benefit from listening

1446
01:56:27.159 --> 01:56:40.319
to my voice, maybe in a few hours time, perhaps tomorrow,

1447
01:56:42.119 --> 01:56:49.920
and then by listening regularly, especially if you find like

1448
01:56:50.079 --> 01:56:53.560
some people do and myself as well. I sometimes I

1449
01:56:53.680 --> 01:57:04.239
find one particular recording that really resonates with me, and

1450
01:57:04.319 --> 01:57:09.520
I just listened to it over and over again every morning,

1451
01:57:09.720 --> 01:57:22.279
every evening. There was this recording from We're going back

1452
01:57:22.319 --> 01:57:27.600
to about nineteen ninety nine. It was it wasn't hypnosis,

1453
01:57:27.640 --> 01:57:32.960
but it was a guided visualizations. It kind of was hypnosis, really,

1454
01:57:35.439 --> 01:57:40.640
and I managed to find it again and it still

1455
01:57:40.720 --> 01:57:46.319
has the same effect on me. And part of it

1456
01:57:46.479 --> 01:58:01.199
was the person's voice relaxed me, just felt so peaceful,

1457
01:58:03.319 --> 01:58:09.800
and I'd look forward to listening to her in the

1458
01:58:09.880 --> 01:58:20.560
morning and in the evening. And I knew before even

1459
01:58:21.319 --> 01:58:29.800
pressing the play button that since I've done that, pressed

1460
01:58:29.840 --> 01:58:38.359
the play button. This is in the days of CD

1461
01:58:38.560 --> 01:58:47.239
players press the play button. In fact, it might have

1462
01:58:47.319 --> 01:58:51.680
even been a tape tape recorder. I'd lie down on

1463
01:58:51.680 --> 01:59:04.159
the bed and then even without necessity, soroughly listening to

1464
01:59:04.359 --> 01:59:17.520
her words because I had them memorized. Really, it was

1465
01:59:17.520 --> 01:59:28.159
as if my body knew exactly what to do, and

1466
01:59:28.319 --> 01:59:50.079
the muscles just almost went into automatic relaxation, and I

1467
01:59:50.159 --> 02:00:04.119
remember my mind would slow down. Now. Now, I was

1468
02:00:04.279 --> 02:00:11.600
listening to this recording in the early days of learning hypnosis,

1469
02:00:14.119 --> 02:00:21.960
and long before I ever made any videos or audio

1470
02:00:22.000 --> 02:00:26.800
recordings myself, because I didn't start doing that till two

1471
02:00:26.800 --> 02:00:42.840
thousand and six. But I knew, I knew how helpful

1472
02:00:44.720 --> 02:00:56.239
I found being able to just let go, to have

1473
02:00:56.439 --> 02:01:09.319
that trust in the US. And I'm listening to knowing

1474
02:01:09.399 --> 02:01:17.359
that it's going to be just as relaxing, if not

1475
02:01:17.479 --> 02:01:26.800
more so. Each time you hear my voice, you may

1476
02:01:26.840 --> 02:01:38.439
feel the same. Some people have been listening to me

1477
02:01:38.640 --> 02:01:52.600
for over a decade, maybe not solidly, obviously, not twenty

1478
02:01:52.600 --> 02:02:00.600
four hours a day, but maybe people come back. Some

1479
02:02:00.640 --> 02:02:15.479
people may be listen every day. That's something that I

1480
02:02:15.520 --> 02:02:31.560
do which you may not realize by listening is when

1481
02:02:31.840 --> 02:02:47.319
I record these recordings now, for example, I also am

1482
02:02:47.560 --> 02:03:01.359
affected by the words that I say. So if I

1483
02:03:01.399 --> 02:03:08.760
said to you, focus on your feet, notice your feet relaxing,

1484
02:03:12.239 --> 02:03:20.159
I will be focusing on my feet. I will be

1485
02:03:20.239 --> 02:03:38.359
noticing my feet relaxing. If I said, focus on your hands,

1486
02:03:41.159 --> 02:03:50.680
and maybe notice the difference between each hand, perhaps notice

1487
02:03:50.800 --> 02:03:56.880
the the air in the room, the temperature of the room,

1488
02:03:58.720 --> 02:04:08.960
on the backs of your head hands. You may start

1489
02:04:09.039 --> 02:04:16.840
to notice what almost feels like a very light breeze,

1490
02:04:17.479 --> 02:04:21.600
even though there may not be any type of breeze

1491
02:04:21.800 --> 02:04:34.560
at all where you are right now. And as you

1492
02:04:34.640 --> 02:04:48.319
become aware of your hands, I'm also aware of how

1493
02:04:49.479 --> 02:05:13.920
relaxed my hands are feeling now. And when it comes

1494
02:05:14.079 --> 02:05:21.039
to potentially drifting off to sleep, which may be the

1495
02:05:21.239 --> 02:05:37.079
reason you're listening, I also feel drowsy when I make

1496
02:05:37.159 --> 02:05:58.359
these recordings. I also notice my mind drifting. In fact,

1497
02:05:58.600 --> 02:06:10.359
at times h I've actually fallen asleep without even noticing,

1498
02:06:15.239 --> 02:06:26.319
and then I carry on talking. It's only when I

1499
02:06:26.399 --> 02:06:35.800
listen back to do the editing I hear snoring and

1500
02:06:35.880 --> 02:06:45.880
I think I don't remember snoring. I remember talking. This

1501
02:06:46.079 --> 02:06:53.359
snoring was a pig turned up. That's why I sound

1502
02:06:53.479 --> 02:07:03.199
like when I snare and I get ready into the

1503
02:07:03.239 --> 02:07:21.439
whole experience, I don't know how you feel. How relaxed

1504
02:07:21.520 --> 02:07:31.640
do you feel in your feet, how relaxed you feel

1505
02:07:31.800 --> 02:07:58.439
in your hands. I have noticed more and more that

1506
02:07:58.640 --> 02:08:14.800
the more relaxed, deeper level of comfort you feel, the

1507
02:08:15.000 --> 02:08:35.600
easier your breathing becomes. It's almost like that additional muscle relaxation.

1508
02:08:39.960 --> 02:09:00.960
So this allows you to breathe easier without necessarily focusing

1509
02:09:03.159 --> 02:09:28.760
on your breath, however, being able to notice the ease

1510
02:09:32.159 --> 02:09:58.760
in which you breathe so naturally. You breathe so very

1511
02:09:59.000 --> 02:10:47.720
easily and smoothly. Whenever I imagine my breathing improving, when

1512
02:10:47.760 --> 02:11:03.079
I've got my eyes closed, I tend to visualize a

1513
02:11:03.199 --> 02:11:19.720
beautiful field with trees and flowers producing all that life

1514
02:11:19.880 --> 02:11:55.479
giving oxygen. It feels nice two if nothing else, just

1515
02:11:55.960 --> 02:12:30.000
taking some time away from everything, enjoying that feeling of

1516
02:12:33.920 --> 02:13:20.760
peace serenity with a joyful heart. Time seems to just

1517
02:13:22.600 --> 02:14:06.640
drip by so very slowly, relaxed, so deeply peaceful, completely

1518
02:14:12.520 --> 02:15:14.279
unattached to any thoughts whatsoever in this moment, completely free,

1519
02:15:15.000 --> 02:16:06.359
noticing that your mind has slowed down slowed down because

1520
02:16:06.520 --> 02:16:35.120
nothing really requires your attention. You can enjoy the physical

1521
02:16:35.440 --> 02:16:52.600
sensations of allowing the stress to rip out of your body,

1522
02:16:53.559 --> 02:17:06.600
to appear out of every part, yah of your body

1523
02:17:16.920 --> 02:17:56.479
being released from your brain in your mind slowly but surely,

1524
02:18:03.319 --> 02:18:51.239
the muscles sing les relax, rex so very deeply, rex

1525
02:18:56.360 --> 02:19:21.760
so deeply. And the feelings, the pleasant feelings in your

1526
02:19:22.040 --> 02:19:49.879
arms and shoulders, deepening each part of your body further

1527
02:19:54.840 --> 02:20:28.159
and deeper and deeper. Noticin the feelings in the back

1528
02:20:28.239 --> 02:21:29.959
of your neck, the feelings in your wrists, muscles, in

1529
02:21:30.239 --> 02:22:20.959
front of your body. I all say, feeling peaceful deeply,

1530
02:22:24.200 --> 02:22:34.479
There's a sense of peace spreads through your fairy core.

1531
02:23:05.040 --> 02:23:24.879
Even when you focus on your mind. Your mind becomes

1532
02:23:32.239 --> 02:24:55.120
eve and slower, even deeper, relax so very slow his stomach,

1533
02:25:09.239 --> 02:25:51.200
peace fall in your stomach. You're back. Notice Notice how

1534
02:25:51.479 --> 02:26:09.440
relaxed you'd never fear. In the hole of your back.

1535
02:26:34.600 --> 02:26:43.760
You spy from your brain all the way down the

1536
02:26:43.799 --> 02:26:54.479
middle of your back, sending and receiving millions of messages

1537
02:26:55.200 --> 02:28:26.239
every day, deep comfort, increasing deeply, relaxed, uns relax, spreading

1538
02:28:26.399 --> 02:28:35.479
those signals down a spine or cord into air. Every

1539
02:28:35.799 --> 02:28:54.559
part of your body, your shins and your calf muscles,

1540
02:29:21.719 --> 02:29:50.520
with your elbows, Feelings of peace and tranquility spreading through

1541
02:29:50.639 --> 02:30:10.440
your body, tips of your toes, to your eyes, your fingers,

1542
02:30:12.280 --> 02:30:58.360
all the way till you lower back. Lettinger Rea tinker, peace,

1543
02:31:14.159 --> 02:31:44.799
drifting mind just wandering away. Happy to let go, let

1544
02:31:44.840 --> 02:32:50.280
go completely, let go, so tranquil, the whole body, enjoying

1545
02:32:50.319 --> 02:35:12.479
a sensor listening God he for more, pece, enjoying the space,

1546
02:35:14.840 --> 02:36:38.600
this space of peace and safety, so very relaxed. Ye, ye,

1547
02:37:26.440 --> 02:37:51.200
letting go. Maybe we can just focus on the different

1548
02:37:51.520 --> 02:38:26.000
parts of your body, just to notice you feel head

1549
02:38:26.280 --> 02:39:28.200
and your eyes muture so loose, noticing a sense of

1550
02:39:31.159 --> 02:41:36.000
complete freedom, absolute freedom, pri tria pees fur energy, peace,

1551
02:41:36.680 --> 02:42:51.399
to breathe so much easier loose. You may have or

1552
02:42:51.559 --> 02:43:52.000
may not have noticed your mind drifting peaceful me any

1553
02:43:52.040 --> 02:44:11.360
even more deeply in the barray back chef total bliss

1554
02:44:11.360 --> 02:46:02.239
for pace, bliss for pace, terrefting out to pace, com

1555
02:46:06.959 --> 02:47:02.440
so calm, let him go, peace with mind rexed, body

1556
02:47:19.760 --> 02:48:16.479
so relaxed, so relaxed. Your body feels almost invisible, so

1557
02:48:16.760 --> 02:49:01.000
the very relaxed. I'm peaceful, so pity, so rel like

1558
02:49:36.879 --> 02:49:43.159
and you could start to notice that you are feeling

1559
02:49:43.520 --> 02:49:54.760
more relaxed, even though I've not purposely focused your mind

1560
02:49:55.719 --> 02:50:02.280
upon that sense of phys so called comfort that is

1561
02:50:02.399 --> 02:50:11.680
growing within you throughout your body, and your mind starts

1562
02:50:11.760 --> 02:50:21.399
to slow down, and that could be almost in recognition

1563
02:50:21.879 --> 02:50:35.760
of I guess my speech not being particularly fast and

1564
02:50:35.920 --> 02:50:40.200
things just generally feel calmer.

1565
02:50:43.639 --> 02:50:51.639
Just by listening to my voice, you give yourself an

1566
02:50:51.680 --> 02:50:59.639
opportunity to take a break from the day, take a

1567
02:50:59.680 --> 02:51:07.399
break from your life as it is, and to give

1568
02:51:07.440 --> 02:51:15.959
yourself a rest, giving yourself permission to take some time off,

1569
02:51:18.120 --> 02:51:23.520
and to allow your body to relax and allow your

1570
02:51:23.639 --> 02:51:34.280
mind to slow down, which in turn releases the tension

1571
02:51:35.680 --> 02:51:44.440
and he stresses that you had in your body. It's

1572
02:51:44.479 --> 02:51:49.120
almost as if the parts of your body just open up,

1573
02:51:50.360 --> 02:52:02.000
allowing the negativity out and at the same time replacing

1574
02:52:02.840 --> 02:52:12.399
that negativity with positive heathing energy, which then fills your

1575
02:52:12.399 --> 02:52:24.280
body up and your mind to also starts to appreciate

1576
02:52:25.120 --> 02:52:43.600
those feelings of increasing confidence, an almost uplifting feeling, positive healing,

1577
02:52:46.680 --> 02:52:55.639
an energy that spreads through your body like a wave.

1578
02:52:57.559 --> 02:53:10.399
Of comfort, and all this comes and just allowing yourself.

1579
02:53:12.559 --> 02:53:17.760
A few minutes, maybe half an hour, however long you

1580
02:53:17.840 --> 02:53:30.440
want it to be, to just rest and allow your

1581
02:53:30.520 --> 02:53:41.000
mind and your body to almost reset itself to the

1582
02:53:41.120 --> 02:53:57.040
settings of comfort and relaxation, calmness, which allows more room

1583
02:53:57.479 --> 02:54:10.559
for feelings of pleasure and happiness to move around your

1584
02:54:10.600 --> 02:54:19.079
body and into your mind, almost as if your mind

1585
02:54:19.159 --> 02:54:29.840
and your body are sinking together, almost mirroring each other

1586
02:54:30.799 --> 02:54:45.079
with that growing positivity and calmness, And it feels nice.

1587
02:54:45.239 --> 02:54:51.280
It really does feel nice to know that you are

1588
02:54:51.319 --> 02:55:02.120
the one that has allowed yourself to feel more comfort

1589
02:55:04.719 --> 02:55:18.239
and to experience more of this deep relaxation spreading throughout

1590
02:55:18.319 --> 02:55:30.600
your body. And as I focus on each part of

1591
02:55:30.639 --> 02:55:42.840
your body, you can notice that that part becomes even

1592
02:55:44.040 --> 02:55:53.920
more relaxed just by focusing on it. It becomes even more

1593
02:55:56.079 --> 02:56:06.760
calm and comfortable just by focusing. And as I move

1594
02:56:07.200 --> 02:56:15.040
down your body, starting at your head, the parts that

1595
02:56:15.120 --> 02:56:25.200
you've already focused on will continue to relax deeply, and

1596
02:56:25.319 --> 02:56:31.440
those parts that we've not yet focused on were just

1597
02:56:31.559 --> 02:56:43.959
automatically release any remaining tension in anticipation of even more

1598
02:56:44.520 --> 02:56:56.399
comfort about to come. Now, I'm going to start by

1599
02:56:56.440 --> 02:57:04.079
focusing on your forehead, just being aware of the feelings

1600
02:57:04.120 --> 02:57:14.440
of your forehead and any background sounds like mister Herbert

1601
02:57:14.479 --> 02:57:20.040
the pigeon can just allow you to feel even more relaxed.

1602
02:57:23.920 --> 02:57:30.040
Just means you're in the moment. This isn't this isn't

1603
02:57:30.040 --> 02:57:38.079
a sterile environment. This is the world. I live in

1604
02:57:38.120 --> 02:57:50.479
the countryside, so there's lots of nature sounds around. So

1605
02:57:50.520 --> 02:57:55.760
as you focus on your forehead, just notice how it

1606
02:57:55.920 --> 02:58:05.840
becomes even more relaxed as you focus only on my

1607
02:58:06.079 --> 02:58:15.639
voice and that part of your body. Moving down to

1608
02:58:15.799 --> 02:58:28.920
your eyes, focusing on your eyes, noticing how your eyelids

1609
02:58:28.959 --> 02:58:36.079
feel so heavy yet so light at the same time,

1610
02:58:39.360 --> 02:58:50.040
and all the muscles around your eyes relaxing completely. Moving

1611
02:58:50.159 --> 02:58:57.360
your focus down to your mouth, your lips, your tongue,

1612
02:58:58.559 --> 02:59:03.600
your teeth, and your come yes, the whole of your

1613
02:59:03.639 --> 02:59:19.200
mouth relaxing, calm and lease. As you focus now on

1614
02:59:19.280 --> 02:59:26.239
your jaw, not just the parts of your jaw near

1615
02:59:26.280 --> 02:59:30.799
your mouth and your chin, but all the way up

1616
02:59:31.440 --> 02:59:37.520
the size of your face to your ears, that hole

1617
02:59:38.159 --> 03:00:05.319
of your jaw feeding more relaxed and calm. Focusing on

1618
03:00:05.360 --> 03:00:10.799
your neck, the front of your neck and your throat

1619
03:00:13.000 --> 03:00:23.760
relaxing and loose and calm. The sides of your neck,

1620
03:00:25.799 --> 03:00:34.079
the right and left side of your neck relax and

1621
03:00:34.280 --> 03:00:47.959
loose and calm, and now the back of your neck.

1622
03:00:51.200 --> 03:01:01.239
Focusing on the back of your neck can go of

1623
03:01:01.440 --> 03:01:08.360
any tension that may have been there before and enjoying

1624
03:01:08.680 --> 03:01:21.680
that sense of increasing comfort and release that you can

1625
03:01:21.760 --> 03:01:32.879
experience in the back of your neck. Moving down your

1626
03:01:33.000 --> 03:01:40.319
back and moving either side of your spine right from

1627
03:01:40.360 --> 03:01:41.000
the top of.

1628
03:01:40.959 --> 03:01:41.920
Your back.

1629
03:01:43.440 --> 03:01:47.120
All the way down to the bottom of your back

1630
03:01:53.120 --> 03:02:04.440
down to your lower back. And as you move up

1631
03:02:04.479 --> 03:02:13.280
and down your spine, you can feel the muscles either

1632
03:02:13.440 --> 03:02:27.000
side of your spine relaxing even more. And as those

1633
03:02:27.120 --> 03:02:36.559
muscles relax, that sense of comfort starts to spread outwards

1634
03:02:38.120 --> 03:02:47.719
from your spine into both sides of your back, the

1635
03:02:47.840 --> 03:02:51.360
top of your back, the middle, and your lower back.

1636
03:02:54.879 --> 03:03:02.040
And as you scan gently and slowly up and down

1637
03:03:02.200 --> 03:03:07.280
your back, there's the muscles in the top of your

1638
03:03:07.360 --> 03:03:17.280
back relax and become looser. The muscles in the middle

1639
03:03:17.360 --> 03:03:24.680
of your back also seem to just almost divide from

1640
03:03:24.719 --> 03:03:38.159
each other, separating and almost melting, and in your lower

1641
03:03:38.239 --> 03:03:49.799
back there seems to be an extra special feeling of comfort.

1642
03:03:55.040 --> 03:04:01.760
The spreads into your hips, down your lower back, into

1643
03:04:01.799 --> 03:04:13.120
your hips, into the area where your coxis are and

1644
03:04:13.239 --> 03:04:22.200
into your buttocks, and all those muscles that spread from

1645
03:04:22.239 --> 03:04:31.760
your lower back into your hip area start to melt,

1646
03:04:36.159 --> 03:04:48.600
start to really let go. I don't even know where about.

1647
03:04:48.639 --> 03:04:54.680
To focus on your shoulders. Your back and your spine

1648
03:04:55.680 --> 03:05:12.479
will continue to let go, continue to relax so calmly.

1649
03:05:17.159 --> 03:05:22.120
And as you focus on your shoulders, you may notice

1650
03:05:22.319 --> 03:05:53.040
that they're already feeding, really loose. They're already feeding calm

1651
03:05:52.799 --> 03:05:59.200
and feeding those muscles.

1652
03:06:00.040 --> 03:06:00.360
Mhm.

1653
03:06:01.959 --> 03:06:14.319
The move from your neck into your shoulders feel so

1654
03:06:14.319 --> 03:06:43.360
soft and gentle, so smooth and calm, and the feeding

1655
03:06:43.479 --> 03:06:56.399
in your shoulders sens to spread deep into your shoulders.

1656
03:06:58.399 --> 03:07:06.760
That sense of reacts station not just traveling deeply into

1657
03:07:06.799 --> 03:07:23.639
your muscles, but also relaxing the bones and moving all

1658
03:07:23.680 --> 03:07:32.879
away to underneath your arms, relaxing that whole area between

1659
03:07:32.920 --> 03:07:42.280
the tops of your shoulders and underneath your arms healing.

1660
03:07:47.639 --> 03:08:00.680
You feel so relaxed and comfortable in your shoulders, which

1661
03:08:00.920 --> 03:08:23.120
sends that deep healing message into your arms. You may

1662
03:08:23.360 --> 03:08:28.639
feel almost as if your arms are not even there,

1663
03:08:30.159 --> 03:09:06.840
because they're so relaxed, so deeply relaxed, so so calm,

1664
03:09:07.159 --> 03:09:29.079
so loose, not feeling spreading all the way down your arms.

1665
03:09:31.760 --> 03:10:00.840
Two elbows, including your elbows, circumforts spreads all away into

1666
03:10:00.879 --> 03:10:19.399
your rests, your forearments and your rests so heavy, yet

1667
03:10:19.600 --> 03:11:00.159
at the same time so light and gentle. Fully you

1668
03:11:00.280 --> 03:11:40.639
see now on your hands, my hands, so peaceful in

1669
03:11:40.680 --> 03:12:18.280
your hands, there's a sense of real peace. It just

1670
03:12:18.479 --> 03:12:44.079
seems to I feel so familiar when your hands relax deeply. Mhmm. Else,

1671
03:13:01.719 --> 03:14:39.239
the thing is a thing is sids, your fingertips, moving

1672
03:14:39.559 --> 03:14:57.959
your attention to the front of your body, so comfortable,

1673
03:15:08.959 --> 03:16:35.719
move on your focus, you your legs, lo muscles in

1674
03:16:35.879 --> 03:17:29.760
your thighs, your knees so relaxed, the carved mussels and

1675
03:17:30.040 --> 03:19:38.239
just shins I puzzy four and the feathing your feet

1676
03:19:45.280 --> 03:20:40.559
so peaceful, so calm, so peaceful, sircom so peaceful, circom

1677
03:20:45.040 --> 03:21:18.680
so peace for re sin, peace for calm, allowing that

1678
03:21:19.120 --> 03:21:26.360
deep relaxation to spread your chest, in your stomach.

1679
03:21:29.520 --> 03:21:29.600
So.

1680
03:21:38.879 --> 03:21:57.959
Letting go of everything. So I'm gonna start counting down now,

1681
03:22:00.600 --> 03:22:09.559
from twenty down to one. You can imagine in a way,

1682
03:22:09.639 --> 03:22:15.760
it's like just walking down some steps, and each step

1683
03:22:16.079 --> 03:22:22.319
or twenty steps, and each step represents a level of comfort,

1684
03:22:25.760 --> 03:22:42.399
each step represents a deepening of that comfort. And the furvies.

1685
03:22:42.520 --> 03:22:47.479
You walk down those steps, the a deeper and more

1686
03:22:47.520 --> 03:24:04.520
relaxed you feel. So starting with number twenty twenty, nineteen, eighteen,

1687
03:24:42.399 --> 03:31:46.799
seventeen sixteen three four four s too well five eight

1688
03:32:52.159 --> 03:39:07.760
nine eight seven h s five five four.

1689
03:40:24.719 --> 03:43:34.120
Four one.

1690
03:43:35.079 --> 03:43:52.079
And now as you focus on your eyes, we're gonna

1691
03:43:52.120 --> 03:44:03.600
count down from ten douts one. Focus in just on

1692
03:44:03.719 --> 03:44:14.719
your eyes, your eyelids, the muscles around your eyes, your

1693
03:44:14.760 --> 03:44:34.040
eye walls themselves, a whole area that makes up your eye.

1694
03:44:34.719 --> 03:44:42.280
And as we count down from ten down to one,

1695
03:44:42.520 --> 03:44:55.520
whilst focus in on your eyes, you'll become twice is

1696
03:44:55.680 --> 03:45:07.120
relaxed with each number, but counting down that you may

1697
03:45:07.159 --> 03:45:16.200
find the all you want to do is just to

1698
03:45:16.319 --> 03:45:23.479
drift off to sleep. And if that's what you want,

1699
03:45:26.479 --> 03:45:39.559
then just allow yourself to do that. Now, focusing on

1700
03:45:39.639 --> 03:45:46.959
your eyes, I'm going to begin counting down from ten

1701
03:45:47.319 --> 03:49:57.959
down to one right now, two nine eight seven y

1702
03:50:00.319 --> 03:55:15.159
five four three two one. Mhm. So counting down from

1703
03:55:15.239 --> 03:55:33.120
ten to one ten nine eight seven six five four

1704
03:55:36.000 --> 03:55:50.840
three two one. And maybe that was a bit too

1705
03:55:50.920 --> 03:55:55.040
quick in order to relax. Maybe it's a bit too

1706
03:55:55.280 --> 03:56:03.639
fast for you to notice the harming of your body

1707
03:56:04.520 --> 03:56:09.120
maybe even a little bit of pressure there, Like you're

1708
03:56:09.120 --> 03:56:11.959
counting down from ten to one. Would you expect me

1709
03:56:12.040 --> 03:56:16.920
to do man, expect me to STI go floppy just

1710
03:56:16.959 --> 03:56:26.360
because you're counting down. If you try it again, but

1711
03:56:26.440 --> 03:56:32.399
this time I go it's lower this time as you

1712
03:56:32.600 --> 03:56:37.920
focus on the whole of your body before we focus

1713
03:56:37.959 --> 03:56:46.639
on your legs. Just notice how your body does start

1714
03:56:48.440 --> 03:56:59.799
to feel more relaxed with every number that I count

1715
03:56:59.799 --> 03:58:32.959
down ten nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three two one,

1716
03:58:44.280 --> 03:58:50.000
And just notice how how you feel generally, how your

1717
03:58:50.000 --> 03:59:04.920
body feels. It's not necessarily even about counting down from

1718
03:59:04.959 --> 03:59:12.680
ten to one. It's that space that you have, that

1719
03:59:15.239 --> 03:59:36.200
space between being active physically or mentally to just sitting

1720
03:59:36.399 --> 03:59:41.239
or lying down, just being there, not doing anything, not

1721
03:59:41.520 --> 03:59:48.559
saying anything, or needing to think about anything. So it

1722
03:59:48.639 --> 03:59:52.239
opens up a space, you know, a bit of a space,

1723
03:59:53.159 --> 04:00:03.440
a gap. The more I comed down from ten to one,

1724
04:00:04.600 --> 04:00:12.760
the bigger that gap becomes. So there's that gap of calmness,

1725
04:00:14.079 --> 04:00:30.239
of comfort, relaxation. It's a nice feeling, and it moves

1726
04:00:31.319 --> 04:00:47.120
those stresses or discomforts physically or emotionally, moves them away,

1727
04:00:48.040 --> 04:01:01.000
allows you to just slow down. Someone count again, from

1728
04:01:01.079 --> 04:01:09.799
ten down to one. And notice that gap widening, the gap,

1729
04:01:11.520 --> 04:01:16.120
and as it widens, it's almost like the stress and

1730
04:01:16.239 --> 04:01:18.959
attention falls into.

1731
04:01:18.639 --> 04:01:19.399
The gap.

1732
04:01:32.479 --> 04:02:40.399
And gives you that distance, that space. Now ten nine, eight, seven, six, five, four.

1733
04:02:58.280 --> 04:03:48.760
Three two.

1734
04:03:33.520 --> 04:04:05.479
One. How is your body feel? No, can you notice?

1735
04:04:06.799 --> 04:04:43.559
Do you feeling calmer, the feeling more relaxed? As we

1736
04:04:43.680 --> 04:05:04.000
now focus on your legs, just your legs. We're just

1737
04:05:04.079 --> 04:05:23.840
going to start with focusing on your thighs. Of course,

1738
04:05:23.879 --> 04:05:28.799
it's not the most exciting thing to be doing, because

1739
04:05:32.239 --> 04:05:35.000
I'm sure, like most of your body is not a

1740
04:05:35.040 --> 04:05:47.440
lot going on right now. Just focusing on the whole

1741
04:05:47.520 --> 04:05:53.920
of your thighs, the tops of your thighs, the sides

1742
04:05:54.079 --> 04:06:01.159
of your thighs, the bottoms of your thighs, your outer thighs,

1743
04:06:01.159 --> 04:06:06.079
and your inner thighs. Basically the whole of your thigh

1744
04:06:06.200 --> 04:06:15.000
that leads into your hip and it goes down to

1745
04:06:15.200 --> 04:06:29.239
your knee joints. Now, this is a big area. It's

1746
04:06:29.239 --> 04:06:34.799
a very heavy area. It's very strong, probably the strongest

1747
04:06:35.719 --> 04:06:49.000
muscles in your body or in your thighs. But I

1748
04:06:49.000 --> 04:06:57.440
don't think we perhaps give enough attention to our thighs.

1749
04:07:03.239 --> 04:07:14.040
Perhaps we don't acknowledge how important our thighs are to

1750
04:07:14.159 --> 04:07:34.840
our lives, how much they actually do for us all

1751
04:07:34.879 --> 04:07:45.360
through our lives. And it may seem to sound really weird,

1752
04:07:45.440 --> 04:07:53.920
but I think that all of our body parts, especially

1753
04:07:53.920 --> 04:08:01.600
our thighs, needs some TLC, a bit of love shown,

1754
04:08:02.559 --> 04:08:20.799
a bit of acknowledgement, thank you, gratitude for what our

1755
04:08:20.920 --> 04:08:30.319
thighs do for us. And I know this may sound

1756
04:08:30.479 --> 04:08:36.799
is strange. Maybe you think, why am I surely how

1757
04:08:36.799 --> 04:08:39.600
I should be out in the garden hugging a tree

1758
04:08:39.760 --> 04:08:47.920
or something. Well, it's hard to set a microphone up

1759
04:08:47.920 --> 04:08:51.280
on a tree. That's why I'm doing this indoors. Otherwise

1760
04:08:51.319 --> 04:08:54.680
I would be outside hugging a tree. Now I can't

1761
04:08:54.680 --> 04:09:03.440
see the television from the tree. If you move down

1762
04:09:03.520 --> 04:09:13.319
to your knees gain such an important part. And I

1763
04:09:13.360 --> 04:09:20.239
think we don't necessarily I'll speak for myself here, I

1764
04:09:20.280 --> 04:09:25.440
don't necessarily appreciate all that my knees do for me

1765
04:09:26.680 --> 04:09:31.840
until I have a problem with my knee. It's occasionally,

1766
04:09:31.920 --> 04:09:36.879
if I ever maybe i'll bash it or it's aching

1767
04:09:37.040 --> 04:09:43.520
for some reason. It's then that I realize how much

1768
04:09:43.559 --> 04:09:48.000
it does. You know, the benefit of being able to

1769
04:09:48.159 --> 04:09:57.399
use my legs without any kind of physical discomfort is

1770
04:09:58.159 --> 04:10:06.959
a beautiful thing that's possibly not appreciated until it's temporarily removed.

1771
04:10:08.040 --> 04:10:15.159
You know that's comfort. But as you focus on your knees,

1772
04:10:17.200 --> 04:10:22.879
regardless of how your knees feel, you can have that

1773
04:10:23.120 --> 04:10:29.319
sense of gratitude and love to your knees for all

1774
04:10:29.399 --> 04:10:41.719
that they do for you, And you can still have

1775
04:10:41.799 --> 04:10:46.000
that attention on your thighs and maybe notice how your

1776
04:10:46.040 --> 04:10:59.879
thighs feel, maybe noticed that they are relaxing more deep

1777
04:11:06.840 --> 04:11:11.440
as you focus now on the bottoms of your legs,

1778
04:11:11.799 --> 04:11:17.639
your shins, and your calf muscles, the bones between your

1779
04:11:18.520 --> 04:11:27.559
knees and your feet, incorporating of course your ankles so important.

1780
04:11:33.200 --> 04:11:37.959
Anyone that's had even like the slightest sprain of an

1781
04:11:38.000 --> 04:11:46.159
ankle knows how how much we take our ankles for granted.

1782
04:11:52.040 --> 04:11:54.079
And it's kind of strange in a way when you

1783
04:11:54.120 --> 04:11:59.719
think that. You know, logically, our wrists are a lot

1784
04:11:59.799 --> 04:12:04.920
than the rest of our arms, which is okay, it

1785
04:12:04.920 --> 04:12:08.719
doesn't I can't see any problem with that because we're

1786
04:12:08.760 --> 04:12:15.319
just picking stuff up. But our ankles so much thinner

1787
04:12:16.479 --> 04:12:25.079
than the rest of our legs. And from a physics

1788
04:12:25.120 --> 04:12:30.879
perspective or logical, even it doesn't really make sense that

1789
04:12:31.000 --> 04:12:38.799
all this weight would ultimately be resting on your ankles

1790
04:12:39.840 --> 04:12:53.280
then leading to your feet, that thin area, thin bone. Yeah,

1791
04:12:53.319 --> 04:12:59.040
it does so much great work. Supports us, supports our

1792
04:12:59.120 --> 04:13:10.920
body for a lifetime, helps us to balance, It helps

1793
04:13:10.959 --> 04:13:23.600
you to get around and be mobile. And there's the

1794
04:13:23.719 --> 04:13:31.840
calf muscles. Of course, when I was younger, I couldn't

1795
04:13:31.879 --> 04:13:37.440
see the point in calf muscles didn't seem to do anything. Okay,

1796
04:13:38.399 --> 04:13:41.959
if I walked around on tiptoes, then my calf muscles

1797
04:13:41.959 --> 04:13:45.520
get some work. But of course that's not true. The

1798
04:13:45.600 --> 04:13:50.280
calf muscles are being used whenever we use her legs

1799
04:13:55.600 --> 04:14:08.239
and your shins there to protect your lower legs, shaped

1800
04:14:08.280 --> 04:14:15.040
in a way, almost as a protector for the bone,

1801
04:14:20.559 --> 04:14:32.520
leading of course to your ankles and your feet. But

1802
04:14:32.559 --> 04:14:34.520
we're not going to focus on your feet. We're just

1803
04:14:34.559 --> 04:14:41.040
going to focus on the legs. I realize that now

1804
04:14:41.040 --> 04:14:45.680
that I've mentioned your feet, it probably focusing on them anyway,

1805
04:14:46.159 --> 04:14:48.760
So maybe I should focus on your feet a little bit.

1806
04:14:52.760 --> 04:14:57.239
You can have them in your awareness, the same as

1807
04:14:57.280 --> 04:15:01.680
you have your thighs in your aware, even though we

1808
04:15:01.760 --> 04:15:05.760
haven't been focusing on your thighs. For a few minutes

1809
04:15:07.520 --> 04:15:18.360
we've been focusing on your ankles. There's still that sensation

1810
04:15:18.600 --> 04:15:33.959
of comfort in your thighs, and this that movement of

1811
04:15:34.280 --> 04:15:43.680
energy because the thighs hold lots of different sensations. Of course,

1812
04:15:43.760 --> 04:15:48.559
there's the muscles, the big straw muscles that we have

1813
04:15:48.760 --> 04:16:02.120
in our thighs. But the skin on the outside of

1814
04:16:02.159 --> 04:16:07.520
the thighs, as in the outside of all of our body,

1815
04:16:08.280 --> 04:16:19.879
can be very sensitive, sensitive to the touch, sensitive to temperature,

1816
04:16:26.399 --> 04:16:33.959
and inside your thighs the bones, there's the muscle, there's

1817
04:16:34.000 --> 04:16:39.120
the blood, vessels, the ar trees, all this stuff that's

1818
04:16:39.360 --> 04:16:48.159
inside your thighs. I guess sometimes it'd be nice if

1819
04:16:48.159 --> 04:16:53.040
you could actually put your fingers inside your thighs and

1820
04:16:53.079 --> 04:16:58.959
a message, so you can message on the outside, of course,

1821
04:16:59.680 --> 04:17:03.120
but how to get deep into the muscles and to

1822
04:17:03.159 --> 04:17:08.280
be able to just massage inside your thighs, message in

1823
04:17:08.319 --> 04:17:17.000
the bones of your leg, massage in or the veins,

1824
04:17:17.159 --> 04:17:27.360
and just gently healing your thighs, and you could move

1825
04:17:27.559 --> 04:17:35.000
down message and inside your knees, just message in those bones,

1826
04:17:35.920 --> 04:17:43.040
but with healing fingertips, spreading that healing energy deep into

1827
04:17:43.079 --> 04:17:52.559
the joints of your knees. Of course, there's the back

1828
04:17:52.760 --> 04:17:57.680
of your your knee, you know, the inside crease where

1829
04:17:57.719 --> 04:18:05.200
your knee is. It's a very sensitive area. Very it

1830
04:18:05.200 --> 04:18:09.239
feels very nice when you stroke it. That might be

1831
04:18:09.239 --> 04:18:13.239
because it's an area that's not really touched very often.

1832
04:18:15.239 --> 04:18:22.159
It's almost like a hidden part, that crease in your legs.

1833
04:18:22.200 --> 04:18:29.559
It's almost like a part that has a sensitivity, which

1834
04:18:29.600 --> 04:18:40.079
is a little bit different. Of course, it's protected by

1835
04:18:40.079 --> 04:18:51.559
your legs, so you can imagine putting your fingers into

1836
04:18:51.639 --> 04:19:01.360
that crease in your legs that fall in between your legs.

1837
04:19:02.000 --> 04:19:06.639
You can just message with your fingertips, letting your fingertips

1838
04:19:06.719 --> 04:19:17.319
going inside, massage in the muscle tissue. You can of

1839
04:19:17.360 --> 04:19:26.959
course feel the bones of your knees healing through your fingertips.

1840
04:19:31.840 --> 04:19:37.200
And then as you go down to your calf muscles.

1841
04:19:37.520 --> 04:19:39.319
Now that's the part I'd like to be able to

1842
04:19:40.079 --> 04:19:47.479
really put my fingertips deep inside my calf muscles, massage

1843
04:19:47.520 --> 04:19:56.639
in every single tissue of that muscle, healing every part.

1844
04:20:02.600 --> 04:20:08.719
And then doing the same for my shins. Massage in

1845
04:20:09.520 --> 04:20:16.559
gently stroking the bones, gently stroking them, healing in a

1846
04:20:16.639 --> 04:20:23.879
loving way, because they deserve to be treated as the

1847
04:20:23.920 --> 04:20:28.559
precious bones that they are. Our legs are so precious

1848
04:20:29.520 --> 04:20:34.159
as in all the other parts of our body, and

1849
04:20:34.280 --> 04:20:48.120
more precious of any juel on the planet. When you

1850
04:20:48.280 --> 04:21:00.520
start to think about your legs in this way, it

1851
04:21:00.520 --> 04:21:10.280
can change your perspective. It might sound a bit a

1852
04:21:10.280 --> 04:21:15.600
bit silly to start with the idea of having love

1853
04:21:16.120 --> 04:21:25.520
for your legs, showing appreciation for your thighs, wanting to

1854
04:21:25.559 --> 04:21:31.440
be able to put your hands in your thighs, the

1855
04:21:31.559 --> 04:21:38.040
massage the muscles and the bones, and to get your

1856
04:21:38.040 --> 04:21:46.719
fingers deep in there, releasing all tension, just to show

1857
04:21:48.479 --> 04:21:55.840
how much you care about your legs, how much you

1858
04:21:55.959 --> 04:22:04.520
care for what your legs do for you regularly, your knees,

1859
04:22:04.760 --> 04:22:17.600
your calves, your ankles, the strength of your ankles, considering

1860
04:22:17.799 --> 04:22:22.319
how thin they are compared to the rest of your legs,

1861
04:22:22.479 --> 04:22:36.200
especially your thighs, yet they're so strong, so flexible, absolutely

1862
04:22:36.399 --> 04:22:48.239
amazing things. Your ankles are truly a gift because of

1863
04:22:48.280 --> 04:22:59.600
what they do for you, supporting all that weight, regardless

1864
04:22:59.639 --> 04:23:03.639
of how what weight you are, even if you're only

1865
04:23:03.680 --> 04:23:08.840
eight stone, there's still a lot of weight for these

1866
04:23:09.239 --> 04:23:16.879
little ankles. Now I'm a lot heavier than eat stone

1867
04:23:17.319 --> 04:23:26.520
double down, Yet my ankles support my body all the time,

1868
04:23:30.200 --> 04:23:33.200
whether they do give off a sigh of relief when

1869
04:23:33.239 --> 04:23:42.600
I sit down at my whole legs do my feet

1870
04:23:43.799 --> 04:23:47.479
feet also go, my toes clap.

1871
04:23:48.639 --> 04:24:06.239
I'm so happy.

1872
04:24:09.159 --> 04:24:18.399
Your legs really are amazing. And I know that talking

1873
04:24:18.440 --> 04:24:24.879
about talking about your legs is probably possibly among the

1874
04:24:24.920 --> 04:24:30.520
most most boring things you've ever heard anyone say. Possibly

1875
04:24:33.399 --> 04:24:40.120
they're boring or not. Everything I said is true. Your

1876
04:24:40.200 --> 04:25:00.799
legs are amazing. Your legs deserve not just respect, they

1877
04:25:00.840 --> 04:25:13.440
deserve to relax deeply. They deserve to take some time

1878
04:25:13.520 --> 04:25:37.200
out of the day to just let go completely. The

1879
04:25:37.360 --> 04:25:55.200
legs really can relax. And because the legs are so

1880
04:25:56.239 --> 04:26:01.040
such a most, you know, very important part of your body.

1881
04:26:02.319 --> 04:26:05.000
When you relax your legs, the rest of your body

1882
04:26:05.559 --> 04:26:24.319
also naturally follows in that journey of comfort. I can

1883
04:26:24.440 --> 04:26:29.440
feel it in my hips. My hips feel really loose,

1884
04:26:32.680 --> 04:26:37.280
and also my lower back as well. My lower back

1885
04:26:37.520 --> 04:26:43.079
really feels it feels stretched, even though I'm just sitting

1886
04:26:43.120 --> 04:26:49.120
in a chair and there's no stretching as far as

1887
04:26:49.159 --> 04:26:52.239
I'm aware that I'm doing. It's almost as if the

1888
04:26:52.319 --> 04:26:56.319
muscles are just relaxed so much that there is a

1889
04:26:56.440 --> 04:27:04.719
natural stretch as the tension and has reduced a lot.

1890
04:27:21.079 --> 04:27:24.159
And I'm now going to count down from ten down

1891
04:27:24.200 --> 04:27:35.559
to one, and you can continue to fill wonderfully relaxed

1892
04:27:39.360 --> 04:28:22.479
ten nine, eight, seven, six, five four three two. Why relax?

1893
04:28:30.319 --> 04:28:34.200
So I'm just going to count down from five down

1894
04:28:34.239 --> 04:28:38.680
to one, and as a countdown, if you just focus

1895
04:28:38.760 --> 04:28:46.719
on the numbers, just the numbers counting down, and notice

1896
04:28:47.600 --> 04:28:55.639
how you feel in this moment as you hear the

1897
04:28:55.719 --> 04:29:03.959
numbers counting down, knowing that those numbers counting down represents

1898
04:29:04.799 --> 04:29:13.799
you feeling calmer, not just in your body, but also

1899
04:29:16.120 --> 04:29:22.799
relaxing your mind. I just notice how you feel. There's

1900
04:29:22.840 --> 04:29:28.639
nothing to do, there's nothing to say, there's nothing to

1901
04:29:28.719 --> 04:30:20.239
think about, starting with number five, four three two one.

1902
04:30:21.040 --> 04:30:33.520
And as you notice the gradual letting go the tension

1903
04:30:33.680 --> 04:30:40.920
in your body, you may also begin to notice and

1904
04:30:40.959 --> 04:30:50.000
be aware of how your mind is starting to slow down.

1905
04:30:52.479 --> 04:30:58.879
This is just a natural thing that happens. It's not

1906
04:30:59.040 --> 04:31:01.040
really a special procedure.

1907
04:31:02.360 --> 04:31:07.520
It's just natural because as your body relaxes, your mind

1908
04:31:07.600 --> 04:31:13.399
also starts to relax. And the more your mind relaxes,

1909
04:31:13.479 --> 04:31:15.000
the more your body relaxes.

1910
04:31:15.079 --> 04:31:25.479
It's just a continuous circle. Of relaxation, and there is

1911
04:31:25.559 --> 04:31:34.239
that calmness that comes from relative quietness. You know, even

1912
04:31:34.520 --> 04:31:41.319
even if there's background sounds either your side, online, it's

1913
04:31:41.440 --> 04:31:47.360
still going to be quite calm. You know, you haven't

1914
04:31:47.360 --> 04:31:52.319
got the television on, there's no music in the background

1915
04:31:52.440 --> 04:31:55.120
unless you're listening to the recording. With music, of course,

1916
04:32:00.040 --> 04:32:02.120
you're very likely not going to be sitting in a

1917
04:32:02.239 --> 04:32:05.399
room with other people. Of course you might be, but

1918
04:32:06.639 --> 04:32:09.959
generally it's more ideal if you can do this on

1919
04:32:10.040 --> 04:32:21.399
your own, so no distractions, and when you stop thinking

1920
04:32:21.399 --> 04:32:38.600
about stuff, relaxation automatically rises, a sense of comfort starts

1921
04:32:38.639 --> 04:32:47.440
to grow, and without trying to build it up into

1922
04:32:47.520 --> 04:33:01.959
something fantastical or something magical, this is just a natural process,

1923
04:33:01.959 --> 04:33:12.880
something that's easy to accomplish. In fact, it's almost the

1924
04:33:13.159 --> 04:33:19.919
sense of relaxing completely happens really when you put no

1925
04:33:20.040 --> 04:33:24.639
effort into it. It's not something that you can really force.

1926
04:33:27.279 --> 04:33:36.639
It's something that happens naturally. And part of the process

1927
04:33:37.040 --> 04:33:48.400
of this recording and others is simply two allow you

1928
04:33:50.599 --> 04:34:01.520
to take advantage of this space, this time, to just

1929
04:34:05.639 --> 04:34:16.479
let go, to just be here, to be in tune

1930
04:34:16.919 --> 04:34:29.040
with how you feel, yet with the intention of wanting

1931
04:34:29.279 --> 04:34:41.400
to relax deeply and maybe even to fall asleep, depending

1932
04:34:41.639 --> 04:34:47.959
on what it is that you wish for yourself in

1933
04:34:47.959 --> 04:35:04.159
this moment. As we know, relaxing is the majority of

1934
04:35:04.240 --> 04:35:09.040
the process of falling asleep. The actual falling asleep part

1935
04:35:09.080 --> 04:35:17.360
is the tiny bit at the end. The deeper relaxed

1936
04:35:17.639 --> 04:35:39.200
you become, the easier you find yourself drifting. But you

1937
04:35:39.240 --> 04:35:47.680
can also if you choose, stay focused on my voice

1938
04:35:48.040 --> 04:36:19.599
and really enjoy the process, gradually relaxing each muscle in

1939
04:36:19.639 --> 04:36:47.000
your body effortlessly and just observing the sensation of letting

1940
04:36:47.119 --> 04:37:02.759
go completely. This time, I'm going to count from six

1941
04:37:03.759 --> 04:37:15.840
down to one, and you can notice your mind calming

1942
04:37:16.119 --> 04:37:20.599
down more with each number.

1943
04:37:21.799 --> 04:37:23.319
That you hear me.

1944
04:37:23.240 --> 04:37:38.880
Say, naturally, feeling calm and slow and be peaceful.

1945
04:37:44.759 --> 04:40:14.880
Six, five, four, three.

1946
04:39:42.319 --> 04:40:42.439
Two. What being aware how your mind to slow right down,

1947
04:40:45.200 --> 04:41:08.639
sinking deeply into relaxation. And as you focus on your mind,

1948
04:41:08.919 --> 04:41:21.439
you may notice that there are some thoughts still there,

1949
04:41:21.439 --> 04:41:31.000
maybe some stubborn thoughts that for some reason perhaps need

1950
04:41:31.080 --> 04:41:46.279
your attention. So what you can do is send love

1951
04:41:46.520 --> 04:42:01.000
to those thoughts. Sprinkle those thoughts with love petals from

1952
04:42:01.000 --> 04:42:06.400
a flower, Just sprinkle it over them petals filled with

1953
04:42:06.520 --> 04:42:13.759
love towards those thoughts to let those thoughts know that

1954
04:42:16.040 --> 04:42:21.479
you're not abandon the number. You just need them. You

1955
04:42:21.639 --> 04:42:33.439
require them to just calm down, slow down, quiets down.

1956
04:42:37.080 --> 04:42:48.919
And now, so as you focus on those remaining thoughts

1957
04:42:50.080 --> 04:42:55.439
as we count down this time from seven down to one,

1958
04:42:55.720 --> 04:43:10.000
with each number, just in sprinkling those flower petals of love, kindness,

1959
04:43:11.400 --> 04:43:23.279
gratitude over those thoughts, which will allow them to just

1960
04:43:24.680 --> 04:43:39.759
melt away and relax deeply. Of every number, those thoughts

1961
04:43:39.840 --> 04:45:15.000
will become more and more relaxed, starting with number seven, six, five, four, three.

1962
04:45:47.240 --> 04:46:06.479
Two one.

1963
04:46:23.200 --> 04:46:40.080
And as you now notice how relaxed you're feeling in

1964
04:46:40.279 --> 04:47:01.880
your body, we're going to focus on your hands. Just

1965
04:47:01.959 --> 04:47:08.200
the more relaxed your hands are, the more relaxed your

1966
04:47:08.279 --> 04:47:10.520
body and mind are.

1967
04:47:25.439 --> 04:47:26.040
And there's.

1968
04:47:27.560 --> 04:47:37.759
You focus on your hands and your fingers. There's nothing

1969
04:47:38.240 --> 04:47:43.000
needed to be done. There's no clenching of fists or

1970
04:47:44.040 --> 04:47:54.520
dancing the fingers or anything like that. Yeah, it's just.

1971
04:47:54.840 --> 04:48:08.319
Noticing and focusing on your hands, noticing how.

1972
04:48:08.159 --> 04:48:09.279
They feel.

1973
04:48:23.479 --> 04:48:23.959
The kiss.

1974
04:48:24.040 --> 04:48:35.439
The more relaxed your hands feel, the calm your mind feels,

1975
04:48:37.240 --> 04:48:46.479
and the more comforts you feel around your body.

1976
04:48:51.319 --> 04:48:57.599
And gee may have.

1977
04:49:01.479 --> 04:49:22.439
Already noticed you mind is starting.

1978
04:49:25.319 --> 04:49:45.159
To dress, like you said, just on.

1979
04:49:45.040 --> 04:50:02.000
Your hands and fingers, allowing them to cheat. Experience a

1980
04:50:02.240 --> 04:50:10.360
real deepening of that relaxation in your hands and fingers,

1981
04:50:16.200 --> 04:50:38.599
more and more relaxed with each number from eight down

1982
04:50:38.680 --> 04:50:51.479
to one. You can almost feel that healing and relaxing

1983
04:50:52.000 --> 04:51:11.040
energy spreading into your hands and fingers becoming more relaxing

1984
04:51:14.200 --> 04:51:32.279
with each number coming down from eight down to one

1985
04:51:32.599 --> 04:51:56.919
to drifting, drifting again starting with number finds.

1986
04:52:02.720 --> 04:54:03.959
Sy four.

1987
04:55:43.599 --> 04:55:53.080
Just being here now, nothing to think about, nothing to do,

1988
04:55:54.479 --> 04:56:10.080
nothing to say. Everything just feels calm. This is your

1989
04:56:10.200 --> 04:56:18.720
natural state of being. This is how you just normally.

1990
04:56:18.400 --> 04:56:24.639
Feel when you take away all that stuff.

1991
04:56:27.159 --> 04:56:35.680
At that stress of where we are, I think.

1992
04:56:38.639 --> 04:56:40.639
An science and dang.

1993
04:56:45.400 --> 04:56:52.040
General thinking about stuff, and you take that away. That's

1994
04:56:52.119 --> 04:57:01.360
what we do. What you do now, You left with

1995
04:57:04.159 --> 04:57:12.680
a real sense of peacefuls which comes to you drowing

1996
04:57:12.799 --> 04:57:21.720
quickly because answerably, it's just a feeling.

1997
04:57:25.759 --> 04:57:33.119
A feeling of comfort, almost.

1998
04:57:32.759 --> 04:57:37.479
As if you've gone inside yourself with found a special.

1999
04:57:37.159 --> 04:57:39.360
Place where.

2000
04:57:41.560 --> 04:57:53.080
Everything is a peaceful, place where you can fill relaxed

2001
04:57:53.680 --> 04:57:55.159
in your natural.

2002
04:57:56.840 --> 04:58:07.959
Sense of comfort, a place where you do you w

2003
04:58:08.240 --> 04:58:10.479
you can't accept yourself.

2004
04:58:11.959 --> 04:58:12.400
You are.

2005
04:58:14.840 --> 04:58:16.919
A place where you are trying to you.

2006
04:58:19.040 --> 04:58:27.319
Please anybody else ever, p S when you kill.

2007
04:58:28.680 --> 04:58:29.400
A true.

2008
04:58:32.520 --> 04:58:37.439
Not just what yourself does. In some ways, more importantly,

2009
04:58:38.040 --> 04:58:54.560
you don't like yourself appreciate even you are in a

2010
04:58:54.799 --> 04:59:17.159
sense of gratitude. An that's also a play. Spread the ear,

2011
04:59:17.959 --> 04:59:32.799
energy soaking into body, even energy soaking into your body,

2012
04:59:38.279 --> 04:59:50.560
even energy spreads three ways happen to every single part.

2013
04:59:58.840 --> 05:00:01.520
When starting watch thing.

2014
05:00:02.159 --> 05:00:13.880
That I'm just into things, you cry. I can't stop crying.

2015
05:00:19.080 --> 05:00:19.759
It's one

2016
05:00:23.560 --> 05:00:23.599
H