July 22, 2025

(no music) (5 hours) Not so Subtle Nurse | LMBYTS #1397 | Jason Newland | 22nd July 2025

(no music) (5 hours) Not so Subtle Nurse | LMBYTS #1397 | Jason Newland | 22nd July 2025
Apple Podcasts podcast player icon Spotify podcast player icon
Apple Podcasts podcast player icon Spotify podcast player icon
None
WEBVTT

1
00:00:00.480 --> 00:00:13.160
Hello, and we'll welcome to jasonnew Land dot com. My

2
00:00:13.320 --> 00:00:21.519
name is Jason new Land. Please only listen when you

3
00:00:21.600 --> 00:00:32.240
can safely close your eyes. And this is mm hmm,

4
00:00:33.280 --> 00:00:45.439
let me bore you to sleep. It is I don't

5
00:00:45.479 --> 00:00:49.880
know what it is. It's Tuesday again. I'm a little

6
00:00:49.880 --> 00:01:02.640
bit out of rhythm with the regular recordings that I

7
00:01:02.719 --> 00:01:06.840
have been doing for the past few months. You know,

8
00:01:07.000 --> 00:01:16.000
the Monday's boring objects, Trivia, Tuesday, Whisper, Wednesday Q and

9
00:01:16.040 --> 00:01:19.159
A Friday. Well though I've been doing a Q and

10
00:01:19.200 --> 00:01:22.640
A Friday, i'd see only one of really kind of

11
00:01:25.239 --> 00:01:30.680
stuck to as it were, so I thought I just

12
00:01:30.799 --> 00:01:44.680
do general general thing, just say hi, a little catch up,

13
00:01:44.959 --> 00:01:54.560
you know, not tomato as So, I'm sitting here in

14
00:01:54.680 --> 00:02:04.400
my living room, Venice coldled up to me by my side,

15
00:02:05.280 --> 00:02:12.639
my left side. I got the window open, but for

16
00:02:12.800 --> 00:02:20.400
now it's fairly quiet. There was hours and hours of

17
00:02:21.560 --> 00:02:27.879
loud chit chat in the garden earlier. It's seemed gone forever.

18
00:02:28.599 --> 00:02:31.000
I don't know how people find that much to talk about,

19
00:02:35.120 --> 00:02:37.159
which is a weird cover from me because I don't

20
00:02:37.199 --> 00:02:40.000
seem to run out of things to talk about. It

21
00:02:40.240 --> 00:02:44.000
just I prefer to do it on my own rather

22
00:02:44.080 --> 00:02:55.199
than with someone. I did well earlier. Actually, someone asked

23
00:02:55.240 --> 00:02:57.759
me how I was, and I asked them how they

24
00:02:57.840 --> 00:03:05.479
were back afterwards. See, I'm learning. I'm learning to communicate

25
00:03:05.560 --> 00:03:13.120
with humans. It's about time. So I give a little

26
00:03:13.240 --> 00:03:23.719
update on what's going on. My daddy has finished his

27
00:03:24.199 --> 00:03:32.800
treatment that he was having and RT, I think it's

28
00:03:32.840 --> 00:03:35.000
called it begins of.

29
00:03:36.479 --> 00:03:36.520
R.

30
00:03:37.639 --> 00:03:49.400
The next next letter is T not hormone replacement. So

31
00:03:49.479 --> 00:03:52.520
he's had four weeks of that, five days a week,

32
00:03:52.639 --> 00:03:57.800
four weeks in a row. And I spoke. It was

33
00:03:57.879 --> 00:04:05.199
quite weird actually, because I spoke to him yesterday I

34
00:04:05.360 --> 00:04:11.280
think it was yesterday, yesterday afternoon, maybe it was Sunday,

35
00:04:11.800 --> 00:04:21.240
a loose track, and he he actually opened up about

36
00:04:21.279 --> 00:04:25.360
how he was feeling. And that was weird because he

37
00:04:25.399 --> 00:04:30.639
doesn't only do that normally. He just says, yeah, everything's fine,

38
00:04:32.519 --> 00:04:38.160
but that's it. There's not nowhere to go after that.

39
00:04:38.800 --> 00:04:42.920
But he actually went through how he's feeling and what

40
00:04:43.000 --> 00:04:48.000
he's been through the last four weeks, and yeah, wow,

41
00:04:48.160 --> 00:04:51.480
So I was quite surprised. It seems to be doing

42
00:04:51.560 --> 00:04:57.000
quite well. I'm very tired, though, very very tired, so

43
00:04:57.319 --> 00:05:06.240
that's kind of to be expected, and everything seems to

44
00:05:06.240 --> 00:05:15.040
be going to plan. So outside of that being going

45
00:05:15.160 --> 00:05:26.000
up to the hospital, went up yesterday to see uncle's sausages. Yeah,

46
00:05:26.160 --> 00:05:33.519
he's a lot of confusion, a lot of you know,

47
00:05:33.839 --> 00:05:43.160
it's it's difficult to try and explain to someone that

48
00:05:43.199 --> 00:05:52.079
the because the blood's not clearing, it's the toxines for

49
00:05:52.199 --> 00:05:58.480
the blood that it can affect a person's mind. But unfortunately,

50
00:06:00.560 --> 00:06:05.759
kind of in the same way as when I'm going

51
00:06:05.800 --> 00:06:13.240
through a should we say episode, it's hard to separate

52
00:06:13.360 --> 00:06:19.680
from that and realize that it's an episode rather than

53
00:06:20.000 --> 00:06:26.639
believe in it. So he was particularly agitated like yesterday,

54
00:06:27.000 --> 00:06:31.040
as he has been really for about two weeks, three

55
00:06:31.079 --> 00:06:36.160
weeks even. So I went and spoke to the nurse

56
00:06:36.720 --> 00:06:42.360
and I said, oh, nurse. She said, what, who are you?

57
00:06:42.560 --> 00:06:47.600
What do you want? And I said, oh, I want

58
00:06:47.680 --> 00:06:51.680
so many things right now, A big bar of chocolate.

59
00:06:51.959 --> 00:06:55.920
She said me too. I said I'd quite like to

60
00:06:56.879 --> 00:06:59.439
get on a cruise and she said me too. Should

61
00:06:59.439 --> 00:07:05.680
we run away together? And I said no, thanks, not really.

62
00:07:07.360 --> 00:07:11.199
She said, oh, oh, never mind. She said that anything else?

63
00:07:11.240 --> 00:07:18.399
I said, yeah, about uncle sausages. She said who, I said,

64
00:07:18.560 --> 00:07:21.240
Uncle sausage. And then I realized she didn't know who

65
00:07:21.319 --> 00:07:26.959
Uncle Sausages was, so I explained who I was talking about,

66
00:07:27.519 --> 00:07:29.560
and she said, why do you call him uncle sausages?

67
00:07:30.639 --> 00:07:33.600
And I said, because I've got a little dog called Vinnie,

68
00:07:33.600 --> 00:07:38.160
and he gives Vinni sausages. That's something they do. He

69
00:07:38.160 --> 00:07:41.639
gives it buys some sausages, and Vinny loves the sausages,

70
00:07:41.720 --> 00:07:47.160
and so Vinnie calls him Uncle sausages. And she said,

71
00:07:47.160 --> 00:07:52.319
but he's a dog. How can he call someone something

72
00:07:52.360 --> 00:07:55.279
he can't talk. I said, no, but it's just a

73
00:07:55.279 --> 00:07:59.000
bit of fun. She said, no, we don't have fun here.

74
00:08:00.040 --> 00:08:03.040
This is a this is a very serious place. I said,

75
00:08:03.040 --> 00:08:05.680
I don't know. It's a serious place. But we're still,

76
00:08:06.040 --> 00:08:08.160
you know, try and have a little bit of fun,

77
00:08:08.480 --> 00:08:14.519
little bit of verbal play. And in fact, he actually

78
00:08:14.560 --> 00:08:19.120
calls Vinie sausages now, so he's Uncle sausages and Vinnie's sausages.

79
00:08:20.600 --> 00:08:25.920
And she said, but what do you want? I said, Okay,

80
00:08:25.959 --> 00:08:28.879
if I'm BlimE me, I think it's because I didn't

81
00:08:28.879 --> 00:08:32.759
want to run away with her, but hey, it's just me.

82
00:08:33.200 --> 00:08:39.279
Maybe I'm just being a little bit egotistical. But I

83
00:08:39.399 --> 00:08:41.320
actually had that look at her eye when she said

84
00:08:41.320 --> 00:08:44.759
should run away together, almost like she had a bag

85
00:08:44.840 --> 00:08:49.720
packed already and it was hidden in the toilet. Why

86
00:08:49.759 --> 00:08:51.759
would it be hit not inside the toilet, but like

87
00:08:54.200 --> 00:08:59.919
maybe your little cabinet I lock her maybe anyway, So

88
00:09:00.440 --> 00:09:10.480
I said, well, here's a situation. Uncle's sausages. He's very,

89
00:09:11.000 --> 00:09:15.360
very agitated and anxious. Is there anything you can do?

90
00:09:16.240 --> 00:09:19.639
She said, oh, she said, we'll explain what you mean.

91
00:09:20.240 --> 00:09:24.799
So basically, when I go there and when he phones

92
00:09:24.840 --> 00:09:28.159
me up, he tells him all this stuff that he

93
00:09:28.240 --> 00:09:34.200
thinks is happening. Very I don't want to be rude

94
00:09:34.200 --> 00:09:50.360
about him, but it's like very conspiratorial, potentially hallucinatory, paranoy paranoiary,

95
00:09:50.720 --> 00:09:55.200
you know. So he's already been told in the past,

96
00:09:55.759 --> 00:09:58.559
you know that he's being paranoid, and he's got very

97
00:09:58.600 --> 00:10:00.720
angry with that. He said, I never want to hear

98
00:10:00.759 --> 00:10:05.200
that word again. I said, okay, So I'm speaking to

99
00:10:05.240 --> 00:10:14.519
the nurse outside the ward, you know, just she said, Well,

100
00:10:15.600 --> 00:10:18.639
he doesn't tell us any of this stuff. He just

101
00:10:18.679 --> 00:10:24.240
says everything's fine. I said, I know, he's just you know,

102
00:10:24.279 --> 00:10:26.240
it's hard to help someone if they don't tell you.

103
00:10:27.159 --> 00:10:29.799
She said, Well, I don't know what we can do.

104
00:10:29.919 --> 00:10:32.000
I said, well, is there any chance you can see

105
00:10:33.120 --> 00:10:37.399
get some kind of evaluation from the a psychiatrist to

106
00:10:37.399 --> 00:10:43.000
see whether it is if it's the condition he's got,

107
00:10:43.120 --> 00:10:48.879
or maybe it's a previous mental health issue that's a

108
00:10:49.000 --> 00:10:53.440
re arisen because I don't know his background. And you know,

109
00:10:53.480 --> 00:11:02.279
there's no judgment from my perspective because I've I'm a

110
00:11:02.279 --> 00:11:08.840
bit of a mental myself, and I so I do

111
00:11:08.960 --> 00:11:17.159
have something. I've got something to tell you later. It's

112
00:11:19.519 --> 00:11:25.360
I got I've got a letter through today from the

113
00:11:25.399 --> 00:11:28.120
council tax people. So the council tax is kind of

114
00:11:28.159 --> 00:11:30.960
like it used to be called rates, and it covers

115
00:11:31.000 --> 00:11:36.440
things like, I suppose everything that's done by the local council,

116
00:11:38.200 --> 00:11:43.159
roads and waste and all that kind of stuff. So

117
00:11:44.679 --> 00:11:47.639
I got let's saying that I was exempt from council

118
00:11:47.720 --> 00:11:55.440
tax for the next year due to being get this right,

119
00:11:55.960 --> 00:12:00.639
and this is because of the benefits agency contacted them

120
00:12:01.080 --> 00:12:04.159
or my doctor. They contented my contact with my doctor

121
00:12:04.159 --> 00:12:07.320
and my doctor. You know, I'm not sure quite how

122
00:12:07.360 --> 00:12:15.120
they got their information. It's really weird seeing this in print.

123
00:12:15.879 --> 00:12:17.720
This is what they said. I'm not going to get

124
00:12:17.799 --> 00:12:20.200
up and read it because it means disturbing a little one,

125
00:12:20.600 --> 00:12:28.360
but it's etched in my brain. You are exempt from

126
00:12:28.440 --> 00:12:39.200
paying counsel tax for the next year due to severe

127
00:12:39.639 --> 00:12:56.360
what was it, severe mental impairment? Severe mental impairment. That

128
00:12:56.399 --> 00:12:59.840
doesn't sound good, does it. That doesn't make me sound

129
00:12:59.879 --> 00:13:09.080
like a hero. I mean I kind of in a way.

130
00:13:09.159 --> 00:13:12.799
Rather pay fifteen pound a month to not hear those

131
00:13:12.840 --> 00:13:15.799
words or not to see that in writing, to not

132
00:13:15.879 --> 00:13:20.960
be called severely mentally impaired. I know it's just another

133
00:13:21.000 --> 00:13:27.879
way to explain my brain not working properly. But BlimE me,

134
00:13:28.639 --> 00:13:35.600
blimin neck. So I said to the nurse, I said,

135
00:13:36.279 --> 00:13:38.679
is there a chance she can go and have someone

136
00:13:38.759 --> 00:13:41.320
come and give him evaluation and see how he is

137
00:13:42.519 --> 00:13:47.519
or something else she can do? She said, well, legal

138
00:13:47.559 --> 00:13:49.600
with me. I'll go and find it out. I'm going

139
00:13:49.600 --> 00:13:53.399
to find out. And she walks away and she turns

140
00:13:53.399 --> 00:13:55.080
back and says, are you sure don't want to do

141
00:13:55.120 --> 00:13:58.120
the cruise? I said no, I want to say I'm fine, thanks,

142
00:13:58.919 --> 00:14:05.679
And she turned away just honestly stomped. She was just

143
00:14:05.720 --> 00:14:08.039
slamming her feet on the ground as she walked away.

144
00:14:09.320 --> 00:14:13.879
I'm going to get that a lot. You know, I

145
00:14:13.919 --> 00:14:17.840
don't am I saying this anyway, So go back into

146
00:14:18.200 --> 00:14:24.159
the room with mister sausages, mister Uncle's sausages, and we're

147
00:14:24.240 --> 00:14:33.440
just chatting. I managed to disrupt his flow and redirect

148
00:14:33.559 --> 00:14:36.720
him to something else other than what he was talking about,

149
00:14:36.759 --> 00:14:40.720
because I didn't I didn't really think it was much

150
00:14:40.799 --> 00:14:44.039
use to him getting angry, you know, so I thought,

151
00:14:45.080 --> 00:14:48.279
just distract him a little bit, focus on something different.

152
00:14:50.320 --> 00:14:53.759
And the nurse came back in probably about fifteen minutes later,

153
00:14:55.559 --> 00:15:03.840
bearing in mind that, well, he's a subtlety this is

154
00:15:03.879 --> 00:15:08.039
the subtlety, subtlety level of this nurse. She came in.

155
00:15:09.879 --> 00:15:13.480
She looked at me. First of all, she's talking about

156
00:15:13.559 --> 00:15:17.759
him in front of him. To me, didn't even look

157
00:15:17.799 --> 00:15:23.840
at him. I'm afraid, Uncle Sausages. He can't have a

158
00:15:23.879 --> 00:15:27.799
psychiatric review. They won't come and see him. I'm like,

159
00:15:30.720 --> 00:15:37.799
it's right there. It's like what's going on. It's like

160
00:15:38.039 --> 00:15:44.200
it's weird, very weird. And then she said, but we're

161
00:15:44.200 --> 00:15:47.039
going to give him some The doctors prescribed some medication

162
00:15:48.039 --> 00:15:53.200
to help him with the paranoia, and shouted that word

163
00:15:53.279 --> 00:15:59.840
out really loud again, directed just talking to me. He

164
00:16:00.159 --> 00:16:03.679
was not happy because it sounds like I was talking

165
00:16:03.720 --> 00:16:08.039
about it and being paranoid. And it was just they

166
00:16:08.120 --> 00:16:10.120
know his situation. They know that what is some of

167
00:16:10.159 --> 00:16:12.360
the stuff he said in the past. It's just the

168
00:16:12.399 --> 00:16:20.519
last few days he's been quiet, just telling me. So

169
00:16:20.600 --> 00:16:23.279
they said, we can give him some medication tonight. I

170
00:16:23.320 --> 00:16:25.159
won't give it during the day because it'll be tired.

171
00:16:28.840 --> 00:16:31.159
I don't know what it was. I thought they were

172
00:16:31.159 --> 00:16:34.759
going to give him something to help cle clear away

173
00:16:34.840 --> 00:16:40.919
that stuff, you know, clear away the toxins from his blood.

174
00:16:44.120 --> 00:16:46.039
I really don't know what it was. I'm not great

175
00:16:46.080 --> 00:16:51.000
with medication. And I said to Uncle Sausages, here, okay

176
00:16:51.039 --> 00:16:55.399
with that? He said, because he was hiding his medication before,

177
00:16:55.720 --> 00:16:58.399
he didn't want to take it. And I said, look,

178
00:16:58.440 --> 00:17:01.559
I wouldn't never let any want to hurt you. And

179
00:17:01.600 --> 00:17:08.640
he said, I know. I said, no, seriously, if this

180
00:17:08.759 --> 00:17:11.160
is if you know, this is a medication I would

181
00:17:11.200 --> 00:17:13.559
take if I had to, if it was going to help.

182
00:17:13.960 --> 00:17:16.079
The only medication they're going to give you is to

183
00:17:16.119 --> 00:17:20.240
help you. They're not here to do anything but help.

184
00:17:21.279 --> 00:17:25.000
That's his sole purpose, you know, when they come into

185
00:17:25.079 --> 00:17:30.839
your room, it's to help you, nothing else. And he

186
00:17:30.960 --> 00:17:37.839
kind of I think, pretended to agree with me, and

187
00:17:37.880 --> 00:17:39.480
then he was kind of cheered up for the rest

188
00:17:39.519 --> 00:17:41.640
of the day. The rest of the morning I was

189
00:17:41.640 --> 00:17:44.960
with him, cheered up. He was quite jovial. I went

190
00:17:45.039 --> 00:17:48.400
and got gotten some sort of stuff to eat from

191
00:17:48.440 --> 00:17:53.680
downstairs in the hospital, and we talked about the golf

192
00:17:55.799 --> 00:18:02.960
and he seemed all right. He seemed, you know, fairly okay,

193
00:18:04.480 --> 00:18:10.880
you know, all things considered. And I had a miss

194
00:18:10.880 --> 00:18:15.079
call for him yes late afternoon yesterday. I was probably

195
00:18:15.119 --> 00:18:22.160
having my mid afternoon nap. So I called him back.

196
00:18:22.480 --> 00:18:26.200
No answer. I called him back again, called him back

197
00:18:26.200 --> 00:18:28.920
again in Gooden back, called him back, called him back

198
00:18:28.960 --> 00:18:34.440
again quite a few times last night. Then I called

199
00:18:34.480 --> 00:18:37.279
him again this morning quite a few times, and he

200
00:18:37.480 --> 00:18:43.960
was not answering. Now either he had his phone on

201
00:18:44.200 --> 00:18:48.279
silent because his phone was on because it was ringing,

202
00:18:49.319 --> 00:18:54.680
or well, there's no way. It's really loud. Now. I

203
00:18:54.720 --> 00:19:01.000
know his hearing is not great, but it's very very loud.

204
00:19:01.200 --> 00:19:03.960
I mean, the whole hospital can hear it. I mean,

205
00:19:03.960 --> 00:19:06.160
in fact, if I stick my head out of the window,

206
00:19:06.240 --> 00:19:08.880
I can hear it. I can't. I don't know why

207
00:19:08.880 --> 00:19:12.119
I said that. I really stick my head out of

208
00:19:12.160 --> 00:19:15.759
the window. And while my giraffe, my head wouldn't fit

209
00:19:15.839 --> 00:19:18.640
out the window, we'd fit out the window. But there's

210
00:19:19.519 --> 00:19:22.680
a window there isn't there doesn't open that wide for

211
00:19:22.759 --> 00:19:31.519
me to just so. Eventually I called him up this

212
00:19:31.599 --> 00:19:38.240
afternoon and the answers the phone and I said, I've

213
00:19:38.279 --> 00:19:44.400
got sausages. He said, yeah, really quiet the way he

214
00:19:44.480 --> 00:19:53.680
was talking. I said, you're right, he said, I said,

215
00:19:53.720 --> 00:19:56.559
so you. I'll be trying to call you all morning.

216
00:19:56.640 --> 00:19:59.880
And last night he said, I was asleep. I'm al

217
00:20:00.240 --> 00:20:03.039
to you know. I said, wow, is that okay?

218
00:20:03.039 --> 00:20:03.160
You know?

219
00:20:03.319 --> 00:20:06.119
And of course you're allowed to sleep. I'm not saying

220
00:20:06.119 --> 00:20:08.279
you're not allowed to sleep. I'm just making sure that

221
00:20:08.279 --> 00:20:14.279
you're okay because I did find the hospital earlier. I

222
00:20:14.279 --> 00:20:16.400
didn't tell him this about to find the hospital area

223
00:20:16.480 --> 00:20:21.279
this area earlier early on, just to find out if

224
00:20:21.319 --> 00:20:26.960
he's okay. And they went into his room and they said, yeah,

225
00:20:26.960 --> 00:20:34.640
it's fine. I think he started barking. What was I

226
00:20:34.799 --> 00:20:40.039
talking about? Oh yeah, the nurses in there to telling

227
00:20:40.119 --> 00:20:44.799
me that just oh no, I would have done that,

228
00:20:44.839 --> 00:20:46.160
but oh.

229
00:20:49.519 --> 00:20:49.839
Yeah.

230
00:20:50.000 --> 00:20:56.440
So I'm talking to him on the phone and not

231
00:20:56.480 --> 00:21:02.920
only is he talking really quietly, it sounds like he's asleep,

232
00:21:03.359 --> 00:21:09.079
like he's almost half, well three quarters asleep, not even

233
00:21:09.119 --> 00:21:19.319
half asleep. Really, Oh yeah, you know, I'm thinking I

234
00:21:19.400 --> 00:21:23.240
kind of hope it's the medication, to be fair, But

235
00:21:23.240 --> 00:21:26.759
at the same time, because I was hoping that whatever

236
00:21:26.839 --> 00:21:36.559
medication they gave him would reduce his anxiety levels, that's it,

237
00:21:37.079 --> 00:21:43.720
and then maybe he he'd be because it's he's stuck

238
00:21:43.759 --> 00:21:45.759
in there and he's had enough, you know, he's had

239
00:21:45.839 --> 00:21:48.720
enough of being there, and he's waiting to be moved

240
00:21:48.759 --> 00:21:53.640
into a nursing home, and he's just you know, he's

241
00:21:53.680 --> 00:21:58.920
just bored, bored. But even yesterday he said he wasn't

242
00:21:58.960 --> 00:22:02.000
even bothered about He said, you can take the iPad

243
00:22:02.039 --> 00:22:08.480
back if you want. I never expected that, because you

244
00:22:08.920 --> 00:22:14.720
can watch movies and you can watch I realized, I'm

245
00:22:14.759 --> 00:22:18.559
not sure how much meaning that stuff would have to him.

246
00:22:18.599 --> 00:22:22.680
But still there is still sport on. There's always some

247
00:22:22.759 --> 00:22:30.519
kind of sport on around the world. And he did

248
00:22:30.640 --> 00:22:35.839
say yesterday he just needed some sleep. He says it

249
00:22:35.880 --> 00:22:38.119
a couple of times, because he said he's not getting

250
00:22:38.200 --> 00:22:42.079
much sleep. I just need some sleep. So I think

251
00:22:42.119 --> 00:22:44.720
he got it last night. He got a good night's

252
00:22:44.759 --> 00:22:54.880
sleep for the first time, possibly in weeks. And I

253
00:22:54.920 --> 00:22:57.559
think that in itself might have cleared his brain a

254
00:22:57.599 --> 00:23:01.720
little bit, might have made him a little bit more himself.

255
00:23:06.319 --> 00:23:08.480
I was gonna this is this is a day I

256
00:23:08.480 --> 00:23:11.960
don't go and see him. On Tuesday. I nearly went

257
00:23:12.039 --> 00:23:19.799
up there, nearly, but I thought I'll wait, just, you know,

258
00:23:19.839 --> 00:23:21.400
in case he does call me, And he did in

259
00:23:21.440 --> 00:23:23.440
the end. One night, he did answer in the end,

260
00:23:24.680 --> 00:23:27.119
and then he hung up while he was talking to me,

261
00:23:28.160 --> 00:23:31.160
And he phoned me about an hour ago, a half

262
00:23:31.160 --> 00:23:35.359
an hour ago. I answered, and there was nothing. I

263
00:23:35.400 --> 00:23:38.559
could just hear him but he wasn't hear him breathing,

264
00:23:38.640 --> 00:23:41.640
but I couldn't hear him. He didn't say anything to me,

265
00:23:42.039 --> 00:23:45.920
So I think he might have accidentally phoned me, just

266
00:23:46.400 --> 00:23:52.359
holding the phone or something. So I'll go and see

267
00:23:52.440 --> 00:23:55.759
him in the morning. And I want to speak to

268
00:23:55.799 --> 00:23:58.680
his nurse to see because he might not have actually

269
00:23:58.680 --> 00:24:02.920
had any table, because sometimes, you know, they're so busy

270
00:24:02.960 --> 00:24:05.720
in there, they might have just forgotten. Because he's in

271
00:24:05.720 --> 00:24:07.559
this little room on his zone. It's a little bit

272
00:24:07.599 --> 00:24:12.400
out the way. They might you know, they're busy with

273
00:24:12.519 --> 00:24:20.759
all the other people and it's you know, human error.

274
00:24:20.799 --> 00:24:25.599
Sometimes they forget stuff, so they might have forgotten to

275
00:24:25.720 --> 00:24:29.440
give him the medication. And because he's had twenty four hours,

276
00:24:30.079 --> 00:24:33.920
the staff are changing over, aren't they. So he's dealing

277
00:24:33.960 --> 00:24:37.640
with a different nurse at night, a different nurse during

278
00:24:37.680 --> 00:24:40.119
the day, and then maybe a different nurse a day

279
00:24:40.160 --> 00:24:44.519
after because all on different rotors and stuff. So I'm

280
00:24:44.559 --> 00:24:47.759
not sure if they do twelve hour shifts, so it

281
00:24:47.839 --> 00:24:55.599
might have three different nurses during the twenty four hours period.

282
00:24:55.759 --> 00:24:58.240
I mean, he hasn't had the same nurse three days

283
00:24:58.240 --> 00:25:02.200
in a row. I don't think it's different. Yeah, it's

284
00:25:02.480 --> 00:25:05.119
I've spoken to I think four different nurses so far

285
00:25:06.119 --> 00:25:13.200
in that ward, maybe five, and they've all been great.

286
00:25:13.240 --> 00:25:20.319
It's just it's I mean, one was a little bit.

287
00:25:23.400 --> 00:25:26.680
I don't know. There's something about talking about talking about

288
00:25:26.720 --> 00:25:29.519
the patient in front of the patient when the patient's

289
00:25:29.559 --> 00:25:32.480
actually looking at that. I don't know if I do.

290
00:25:34.680 --> 00:25:40.839
I'd enjoy that myself. I mean I've talked about him.

291
00:25:41.200 --> 00:25:44.240
I've asked questions to doctors when the doctor's been there

292
00:25:45.319 --> 00:25:47.799
and Uncle Sausages has been there and I'm there, and

293
00:25:48.960 --> 00:25:53.319
because Uncle Sausages won't ask any questions, I asked the questions,

294
00:25:53.880 --> 00:25:57.559
but I include Uncle Sausages in it. I don't just

295
00:25:57.759 --> 00:26:03.240
like talk about him. I'm kind of talking with him,

296
00:26:03.279 --> 00:26:09.319
if that makes sense, Like I'm another mouth. That was weird,

297
00:26:10.319 --> 00:26:16.559
I'm Uncle sausages second mouth. Yeah, that's very very strange,

298
00:26:16.759 --> 00:26:22.519
very strange visual. So I hope that when I see

299
00:26:22.559 --> 00:26:33.960
him tomorrow he's all right, because he sounded very It's

300
00:26:34.039 --> 00:26:42.240
like it wasn't there. And I know that different medication

301
00:26:42.400 --> 00:26:46.400
can have different effects in that, but just that was

302
00:26:46.559 --> 00:26:50.440
kind of well, I don't know. I don't know what

303
00:26:50.559 --> 00:26:53.599
to think. So I'll go and speak to his nurse

304
00:26:53.720 --> 00:26:57.920
tomorrow and ask what he's been given and whether or

305
00:26:58.000 --> 00:27:01.720
not that's normal for those side of things, or whether

306
00:27:01.799 --> 00:27:08.279
it's there's another reason for it. But yeah, that's kind

307
00:27:08.279 --> 00:27:10.799
of it really, Although he did he did say something

308
00:27:10.799 --> 00:27:16.039
about how he's jumper had been stolen this morning or

309
00:27:16.039 --> 00:27:18.640
this afternoon, so I don't know what's going on there.

310
00:27:19.480 --> 00:27:22.400
I said, I'll speak to you tomorrow and we'll work

311
00:27:22.480 --> 00:27:28.599
it out. And the other day I took in I

312
00:27:28.680 --> 00:27:32.960
bought him some tomato ketchup sachets because I took him

313
00:27:32.960 --> 00:27:37.079
in my tomato ketchup in a bottle. But that made

314
00:27:37.079 --> 00:27:38.880
a bit of a mess. So I thought. He said,

315
00:27:38.880 --> 00:27:40.920
I'd rather have them in sachets because that's what he's

316
00:27:41.000 --> 00:27:47.440
used to. So I ordered lots of sachets on nine

317
00:27:47.480 --> 00:27:50.400
on Amazon, took them in his big old bag of them,

318
00:27:52.559 --> 00:27:56.920
and he found that funny. And I think you thought

319
00:27:56.960 --> 00:27:58.720
I was just going to go into McDonald's and just

320
00:27:58.720 --> 00:28:04.119
grab a handful something like that. It's like, nah, no, no, no, no, no, no.

321
00:28:05.400 --> 00:28:09.759
Anyway I went. He did the same thing on for

322
00:28:09.799 --> 00:28:13.599
a Friday. He said, no, yesterday, Sorry, I've run out

323
00:28:13.599 --> 00:28:24.319
of sugar. No, he said the what did they say

324
00:28:24.599 --> 00:28:31.720
something about didn't have any sugar to put in his tea? Man?

325
00:28:31.920 --> 00:28:34.440
Was it his tea or just something? What else would

326
00:28:34.480 --> 00:28:39.160
you have sugar on? He had something, but he didn't

327
00:28:39.160 --> 00:28:42.559
have any sugar, and he said it ruined it. Not

328
00:28:42.680 --> 00:28:48.039
ice cream, because that would be unnecessary, wouldn't it? Mind you?

329
00:28:48.119 --> 00:28:52.880
It might taste nice bit of sugar on some ice cream.

330
00:28:52.880 --> 00:28:54.720
Not something that I would do because I'm not supposed

331
00:28:54.720 --> 00:29:02.359
to really have sugar. Not a hot dog. What was

332
00:29:02.400 --> 00:29:12.200
he needed sugar for? Maybe it was yeah, maybe it

333
00:29:12.279 --> 00:29:19.400
was for a cup of tea cover coffee or isn't

334
00:29:19.440 --> 00:29:24.000
another their plane's going past all day, can you hear that?

335
00:29:33.839 --> 00:29:36.240
I don't really know why, because I don't think there's

336
00:29:36.240 --> 00:29:42.480
any kind of celebrations. There's no d D double DD Eday,

337
00:29:44.279 --> 00:29:51.480
King's Birthday, celebrations, V Day, VD Day. There's none of

338
00:29:51.480 --> 00:29:54.319
those stuff because there's a lot of those different days.

339
00:29:55.079 --> 00:29:59.960
And we get all the aircraft flying over towards London

340
00:30:00.160 --> 00:30:03.000
and fly back, and they probably come from different parts

341
00:30:03.000 --> 00:30:07.839
of the country to do a big old flyover over

342
00:30:07.920 --> 00:30:14.920
London Trafalgar Square or wherever they do it, but or

343
00:30:14.960 --> 00:30:19.559
the Senotaph. I don't know where the Senotaph is. However,

344
00:30:20.359 --> 00:30:23.880
today I don't think there is a particular thing on.

345
00:30:24.039 --> 00:30:27.599
I mean it might be, I'm just not aware of it.

346
00:30:28.240 --> 00:30:31.960
There might well be a big celebration going on today.

347
00:30:32.000 --> 00:30:39.680
I don't know. I didn't know. Oh yes, anyways at all.

348
00:30:41.240 --> 00:30:46.359
She gave me tea but no sugar, so I thought, okay,

349
00:30:46.880 --> 00:30:49.400
and he asked for the sugar, but she didn't come back.

350
00:30:50.480 --> 00:30:53.119
So I thought, I'll sort you out some sugar, and

351
00:30:53.160 --> 00:30:56.519
so I bought him on Amazon again. They're not being

352
00:30:56.559 --> 00:31:01.200
delivered yet, No, they haven't. No one hundred and forty

353
00:31:01.359 --> 00:31:03.599
packs of sugar like the long ones that you get

354
00:31:03.720 --> 00:31:07.319
in cafes and you know, you open the end up

355
00:31:07.359 --> 00:31:09.480
and just pour it in. So you've got one hundred

356
00:31:09.519 --> 00:31:13.799
and forty of them come in. So I'll hopefully it

357
00:31:13.839 --> 00:31:17.200
should be delivered today and i'd take him to him

358
00:31:17.200 --> 00:31:21.359
tomorrow morning. I'm just trying to kind of give him

359
00:31:21.359 --> 00:31:24.599
what he needs, just to it's those little comforts because

360
00:31:29.200 --> 00:31:32.519
in his situation, I'm sure as heck would not be

361
00:31:32.599 --> 00:31:36.519
drinking tea without sugar. I would be having sugar with

362
00:31:36.680 --> 00:31:43.319
everything because I like sugar. I just unfortunately have to

363
00:31:43.319 --> 00:31:46.119
be a little bit careful with it, A little bit careful,

364
00:31:47.839 --> 00:31:57.960
not as careful as I should be. Probably, yeah, I'm not. Literally,

365
00:31:57.960 --> 00:32:02.359
I haven't bought a bag of sugar for well over

366
00:32:02.359 --> 00:32:07.720
a year now, yeah, well over probably a year and

367
00:32:07.759 --> 00:32:11.119
a half. Whenever it was that I was told that

368
00:32:11.200 --> 00:32:18.599
I had to cut down and loose some weight, and

369
00:32:18.680 --> 00:32:21.839
I stopped with the sugar. No more sugar and breakfast cereal,

370
00:32:22.559 --> 00:32:25.759
no more sugar and tea or coffee or though I

371
00:32:25.759 --> 00:32:29.359
don't drink coffee anymore, although I did drink coffee the

372
00:32:29.359 --> 00:32:32.680
other day, So I'm just pretty much just lied. Ton't know.

373
00:32:36.039 --> 00:32:38.400
I used to have coffee, used to have one cup

374
00:32:38.440 --> 00:32:44.279
of coffee every morning with my breakfast for quite some time,

375
00:32:45.160 --> 00:32:51.960
possibly years, and then the rest of the day I

376
00:32:52.000 --> 00:32:57.119
would have tea. This is when I stopped drinking coke.

377
00:32:57.839 --> 00:33:00.920
Before that old not really to you all, I just

378
00:33:01.000 --> 00:33:04.559
have cans of coke, but I stopped drinking coke. So

379
00:33:04.799 --> 00:33:09.519
can you know tea cups of tea and a fair

380
00:33:09.559 --> 00:33:14.160
bit of water. I do. I've always been quite an avid, avid,

381
00:33:14.759 --> 00:33:23.039
regular water drinker, and yeah, since since I was a kid.

382
00:33:23.039 --> 00:33:32.559
Really anyway, I ran out of coffee. This is even

383
00:33:32.640 --> 00:33:36.200
more boring that I wanted it to be. I do

384
00:33:36.240 --> 00:33:39.880
you ever stop yourself at heart, like midway in a

385
00:33:40.000 --> 00:33:44.839
sentence and think this is really boring? This is even

386
00:33:45.119 --> 00:33:49.799
this is too boring. I can't finish this sentence. It's

387
00:33:49.839 --> 00:33:54.160
just too I've got to do a U turn. This

388
00:33:54.279 --> 00:33:57.480
is really going to be tedious. Why am I even

389
00:33:57.599 --> 00:34:01.799
saying this? I'll think I'll continue, but I'm just just

390
00:34:01.880 --> 00:34:04.599
letting you know. I'm talking about coffee. What I talk

391
00:34:04.640 --> 00:34:08.719
about coffee? It's got to be more interesting things to

392
00:34:08.760 --> 00:34:12.440
talk about. Yeah, but it's supposed to be boring, isn't it.

393
00:34:12.519 --> 00:34:16.000
It's supposed to be bullying. Yeah, but there's a limit.

394
00:34:16.840 --> 00:34:20.960
There's a limit to boredom. I mean, I might as

395
00:34:21.000 --> 00:34:24.079
well just count how many times I've cut my toenails

396
00:34:24.119 --> 00:34:27.320
in the last ten years. It's on the same level

397
00:34:27.360 --> 00:34:34.480
of like complete tedium. Anyway, I finished the exciting story.

398
00:34:35.719 --> 00:34:40.480
So I was drinking coffee every day, one cup of day.

399
00:34:41.239 --> 00:34:44.679
That was my limit, A little bit of kickstart to

400
00:34:44.679 --> 00:34:53.159
today it was yeah, all right, and then dun I

401
00:34:53.280 --> 00:34:58.519
ran out of coffee and there was no coffee available. Basically,

402
00:34:58.519 --> 00:35:01.440
I have my delivery delivered, the coffee was missing. There

403
00:35:01.440 --> 00:35:07.639
was none available, so I just had tea bags and

404
00:35:07.679 --> 00:35:09.960
I thought, what am I going to do? A cup

405
00:35:10.000 --> 00:35:13.480
of tea is not going to solve the issue. It's

406
00:35:13.559 --> 00:35:17.480
not the same as a cup of coffee. Now, at

407
00:35:17.519 --> 00:35:22.119
this time, I was drinking coffee and tea with sugar,

408
00:35:24.440 --> 00:35:27.760
so that's when the coffee finished before I stopped with

409
00:35:27.840 --> 00:35:33.360
the sugar, which is just as well, because there's no

410
00:35:33.480 --> 00:35:36.960
way in the world I'm ever what I say never,

411
00:35:37.039 --> 00:35:44.199
but generally I wouldn't drink coffee without sugar. It ain't happening.

412
00:35:46.480 --> 00:35:48.519
And I had a cost as coffee the other day.

413
00:35:50.639 --> 00:35:54.079
First coffee in yeah, probably a year, well over a year.

414
00:35:54.519 --> 00:35:59.719
And I had a couple of at least one or

415
00:35:59.719 --> 00:36:03.039
two sugars in it. I can't have I can't have

416
00:36:03.039 --> 00:36:08.239
coffee without sugar. Ain't going to happen. But as I

417
00:36:08.280 --> 00:36:11.000
was only having one coffee, you know, one coffee a

418
00:36:11.079 --> 00:36:16.760
year is allowed, I would say I would hazard a

419
00:36:16.840 --> 00:36:21.239
gift that I'd be okay with that, although I did

420
00:36:21.320 --> 00:36:25.920
feel a bit weird having all like caffeine running through me,

421
00:36:28.760 --> 00:36:34.960
the buzz ah. So yeah, I haven't had coffee really

422
00:36:35.000 --> 00:36:39.039
other than you know, when I did have coffee. I

423
00:36:39.119 --> 00:36:41.559
never drink coffee apart from when I do drink coffee.

424
00:36:41.960 --> 00:36:50.360
That's just a weird sentence, very weird. You used to

425
00:36:50.440 --> 00:36:54.280
drink a lot of coffee. I've been through phases in

426
00:36:54.320 --> 00:37:03.119
my life where like between the ages of seven and fifteen,

427
00:37:05.519 --> 00:37:17.840
maybe sixteen, yeah, fifteen sixteen, I was drinking coffee regularly.

428
00:37:18.760 --> 00:37:23.599
I drinking tea regularly. Sorry, just part of that was

429
00:37:23.639 --> 00:37:27.440
the culture. I drink tea. I don't have the occasional coffee,

430
00:37:27.480 --> 00:37:32.320
but not that often, not in the evening. But i'd

431
00:37:32.360 --> 00:37:35.920
have a coffee sometimes eleven Z's with a cup of

432
00:37:35.920 --> 00:37:48.079
coffee and some biscuits, you know, on a weekend and stuff. Yeah,

433
00:37:48.119 --> 00:37:50.800
I have cups of tea that would be kind of normal.

434
00:37:52.320 --> 00:38:00.840
But then when I left school, I didn't really drink

435
00:38:01.280 --> 00:38:06.079
much in a way of tea. I mean, I did

436
00:38:06.159 --> 00:38:11.519
drink tea, but not a lot of tea. I think,

437
00:38:12.280 --> 00:38:16.639
you know, once I got sort of sixteen, seventeen eighteen,

438
00:38:17.880 --> 00:38:21.280
it was I suppose I had a bit more choice,

439
00:38:21.920 --> 00:38:25.239
didn't have to stick to tea because I was the

440
00:38:25.280 --> 00:38:31.559
one buying what I was drinking. And I think I

441
00:38:31.599 --> 00:38:43.239
started drinking more coke and more water, just trying to think,

442
00:38:43.519 --> 00:38:48.519
just you know, bits, just whatever. Really can't remember. Probably

443
00:38:48.639 --> 00:38:50.199
quite a bit of water because I was working in

444
00:38:50.239 --> 00:38:55.119
the hot environment, but definitely drinking coke other cans of drink.

445
00:38:55.920 --> 00:38:56.280
Lilt.

446
00:38:56.440 --> 00:38:58.639
I used to like lilt when I was about sixteen.

447
00:38:59.400 --> 00:39:04.639
Oh my goodness, lilt. It was lovely. It was gorgeous.

448
00:39:07.079 --> 00:39:13.920
Mm hmmm. It's a little bit like fencer really but

449
00:39:14.400 --> 00:39:23.960
lemon lemone, not lemon. But I don't know how to

450
00:39:24.000 --> 00:39:31.920
explain a bit. I liked it, and so I went

451
00:39:32.159 --> 00:39:37.320
quite a few years where probably the only time I'd

452
00:39:37.400 --> 00:39:44.960
drink tea would perhaps be first thing in the morning

453
00:39:45.000 --> 00:39:49.159
with my breakfast, So that was kind of a regular thing.

454
00:39:49.159 --> 00:39:53.679
I'd have a cup of tea my breakfast, and then

455
00:39:55.360 --> 00:39:59.480
during the nineties, i'd have a pint of milk with

456
00:39:59.639 --> 00:40:06.000
my evening meal and water. So that was all i'd

457
00:40:06.000 --> 00:40:09.559
have in the evening, milk and water unless I went out,

458
00:40:09.599 --> 00:40:14.039
and then i'd have For a lot of the nineties,

459
00:40:14.039 --> 00:40:16.599
I would never drunk alcohol, so i'd just be drinking.

460
00:40:17.559 --> 00:40:22.559
I'd order a coke, and I try and make the

461
00:40:22.760 --> 00:40:26.880
coke of coca glass, the glass of coke last as possible.

462
00:40:29.679 --> 00:40:32.039
So I'll try and get that sentence out properly. Now,

463
00:40:32.840 --> 00:40:35.519
I'd try and make a glass of coke last as

464
00:40:35.559 --> 00:40:41.039
long as possible. Because it wasn't just that I was tight,

465
00:40:41.239 --> 00:40:50.440
but I didn't have lots of money money, So I'd

466
00:40:50.440 --> 00:40:52.840
go out and i'd have like maybe ten pounds five

467
00:40:52.920 --> 00:40:55.280
or ten pounds to last me for the whole evening.

468
00:41:00.239 --> 00:41:02.639
You know that that was it. So what I did

469
00:41:03.000 --> 00:41:08.519
is I mean not all the time. There was periods

470
00:41:08.559 --> 00:41:10.760
when I had a bit more, a bit more cash

471
00:41:10.880 --> 00:41:16.599
than others, and maybe I would drink, you know, I

472
00:41:16.639 --> 00:41:25.119
think ninety four in the summer I started drinking, like

473
00:41:25.239 --> 00:41:28.360
going out drinking and stuff really like regularly. But that

474
00:41:28.480 --> 00:41:32.679
was like a for a summer eighty nine, I did

475
00:41:32.719 --> 00:41:37.760
as well, but I was just for the summer. Outside

476
00:41:37.760 --> 00:41:43.599
of that, during the whole of the nineties, other than

477
00:41:43.639 --> 00:41:45.559
when I was working and earn a cup of tea

478
00:41:46.360 --> 00:41:53.079
from the machine or a cup of coffee, I didn't

479
00:41:53.159 --> 00:41:56.239
drink you know, tear coffee, so that'd be maybe two

480
00:41:56.360 --> 00:41:59.039
or three a day. But there was like tiny little

481
00:41:59.239 --> 00:42:05.679
those tiny little plastic cups and yeah, so I didn't

482
00:42:06.639 --> 00:42:10.880
really bother with tea. And then in the two thousands,

483
00:42:12.920 --> 00:42:17.360
actually in two thousand, I got real really excited about

484
00:42:17.440 --> 00:42:25.039
tea again, which is weird, not excited, but I liked

485
00:42:25.119 --> 00:42:34.079
drinking tea, so I was getting through more tea during

486
00:42:34.119 --> 00:42:41.039
the day in two thousand and two thousand and one,

487
00:42:41.280 --> 00:42:45.360
and then two thousand and two, well, at the end

488
00:42:45.360 --> 00:42:49.239
of two thousand and one two thousand and two, I

489
00:42:49.320 --> 00:42:55.039
was drinking huge amounts of coffee at work and that

490
00:42:55.199 --> 00:43:01.840
didn't do me any good. In two thousand and three,

491
00:43:02.079 --> 00:43:05.639
I pretty much stopped drinking coffee. It came out from

492
00:43:05.639 --> 00:43:10.079
a machine, so that wasn't Yeah, it was a bit rubbish,

493
00:43:10.320 --> 00:43:17.559
so I stopped doing that. Didn't I think I really

494
00:43:17.639 --> 00:43:20.480
had much. I suppose I get the odd coffee or tea,

495
00:43:21.719 --> 00:43:26.840
you know, leading into two thousand and seven when I

496
00:43:26.840 --> 00:43:32.800
stopped working in insurance, So it was about now this

497
00:43:32.880 --> 00:43:37.960
time of the year. In two thousand and seven, I

498
00:43:38.119 --> 00:43:43.920
basically as my second insurance job, second out of three,

499
00:43:45.000 --> 00:43:51.599
and I was part time because i'd be nil in

500
00:43:51.760 --> 00:43:56.320
two thousand and six, nearing the I think it was

501
00:43:56.360 --> 00:44:01.360
September time two thousand and six, and I had some

502
00:44:01.519 --> 00:44:05.960
time off and they allowed me to go back part

503
00:44:05.960 --> 00:44:08.880
time after about a month off work, so I went

504
00:44:08.920 --> 00:44:15.920
back part time. That suited me perfectly because I could

505
00:44:15.920 --> 00:44:21.000
then do volunteering and I can do you know, the

506
00:44:21.039 --> 00:44:24.960
other stuff that I was doing. It's really good. And

507
00:44:25.000 --> 00:44:29.800
I was earning enough to get by just you know.

508
00:44:29.800 --> 00:44:31.639
It wasn't a lot, but I had enough to pay

509
00:44:31.679 --> 00:44:36.440
the rent and buy the food and have enough for

510
00:44:36.639 --> 00:44:44.800
just bits and bops, you know. But then in I

511
00:44:44.840 --> 00:44:50.440
think it was June two thousand and seven, they hauled

512
00:44:50.480 --> 00:44:54.400
me into the office by a haul. They didn't they

513
00:44:54.480 --> 00:45:00.239
just asked me to go in there and about seven

514
00:45:00.280 --> 00:45:03.039
footsteps from where my desk was, so it wasn't a

515
00:45:03.079 --> 00:45:09.719
big deal. Anyway. I walked in there and my boss said,

516
00:45:10.639 --> 00:45:15.559
we need you to go full time again. I said, no,

517
00:45:15.880 --> 00:45:19.440
I don't want to. He said, but we want you to.

518
00:45:19.960 --> 00:45:24.920
I said, I don't want to do because, other than

519
00:45:24.920 --> 00:45:31.599
anything else I had, I liked that job. Now, you

520
00:45:31.639 --> 00:45:37.519
won't hear me say that about many of my jobs

521
00:45:37.559 --> 00:45:40.519
I've had in the past. And I've had a lot

522
00:45:40.519 --> 00:45:46.920
of jobs, like lots and lots and lots. That's one

523
00:45:46.920 --> 00:45:56.920
of the few jobs that I actually I didn't. Yeah,

524
00:45:57.159 --> 00:46:01.920
Sunday wasn't tarnished by thinking about going to work on

525
00:46:01.960 --> 00:46:05.920
a Monday. I didn't have that anymore because I was

526
00:46:06.000 --> 00:46:08.559
doing it part time. I liked the job full time

527
00:46:08.599 --> 00:46:17.039
as well, but I just I just struggled to keep

528
00:46:17.079 --> 00:46:20.559
it going. And I don't know how long i'd lasted

529
00:46:21.280 --> 00:46:25.480
part time, but I did quite well because I've been

530
00:46:25.519 --> 00:46:37.159
part time since probably October. Yes, I did like seven

531
00:46:37.239 --> 00:46:40.920
or eight months part time, so I was holding it together.

532
00:46:41.559 --> 00:46:43.519
I had a couple of weeks off, but other than that,

533
00:46:45.000 --> 00:46:53.599
I was doing all right. And I mean, chances are

534
00:46:54.039 --> 00:47:00.920
I I might still be there if dead let me.

535
00:47:02.079 --> 00:47:04.639
I mean, I wouldn't still be there because the whole

536
00:47:04.639 --> 00:47:11.480
place closed down. They made everyone redundant, so and that

537
00:47:11.679 --> 00:47:14.519
was kind of coming. I kind of knew that as well.

538
00:47:14.760 --> 00:47:16.320
I think that's part of the reason why I was

539
00:47:16.679 --> 00:47:25.480
not so well. But it was, yeah, all things being

540
00:47:26.360 --> 00:47:30.519
equal and being good, I liked the job. I was

541
00:47:30.559 --> 00:47:35.280
good at the job. This is I'd moved from working

542
00:47:35.280 --> 00:47:40.519
in sales to listening to people's phone calls to make

543
00:47:40.599 --> 00:47:43.119
sure that they were doing the job correctly. So I

544
00:47:43.199 --> 00:47:51.920
was in compliance and I was very good at listening, concentrating.

545
00:47:52.320 --> 00:47:56.199
I had headphones and stuff, and I wasn't actually, I

546
00:47:56.239 --> 00:48:00.639
wasn't sitting on the desk listening to people talking and

547
00:48:00.880 --> 00:48:03.840
you know it's actually recorded calls, because that would have

548
00:48:03.840 --> 00:48:10.360
been off putting, wouldn't it. Just sitting there one egg

549
00:48:10.400 --> 00:48:12.880
cup from the customer and when an a cup with

550
00:48:13.039 --> 00:48:22.280
strength from the the salesperson, a cup, yoga cup. Anyway,

551
00:48:22.320 --> 00:48:32.119
that's just a silly thing, silly visual And uh yeah,

552
00:48:32.599 --> 00:48:37.559
I was quite good at it. Not not sure, not

553
00:48:38.159 --> 00:48:42.199
playing my own trumpet or violin or whatever instrument. It's just,

554
00:48:42.360 --> 00:48:45.400
you know, it's a factual thing. Was for some reason,

555
00:48:45.440 --> 00:48:50.400
I was pretty good at doing that. So I didn't

556
00:48:50.400 --> 00:48:56.800
want to leave, But at the same time, I didn't

557
00:48:57.920 --> 00:49:02.360
feel like a go full time again. At that point,

558
00:49:02.440 --> 00:49:05.320
I didn't think I could go full time anywhere. I

559
00:49:05.400 --> 00:49:10.639
just didn't because I'd already Oh man, the amount of

560
00:49:10.639 --> 00:49:16.719
times I've had issues, you know, I had to have

561
00:49:16.760 --> 00:49:23.519
time off and stuff with different jobs. So I was like, Okay,

562
00:49:23.719 --> 00:49:28.239
I want to stay here. I like I like the company,

563
00:49:30.039 --> 00:49:33.800
I like the people I work with. I like the job.

564
00:49:34.599 --> 00:49:39.159
It's easy. It's challenging at times, but generally quite easy

565
00:49:39.239 --> 00:49:44.000
for me. And I got me really well with my

566
00:49:44.039 --> 00:49:51.559
little team, and I was in. But then yeah, it

567
00:49:51.679 --> 00:49:55.960
was a choice of like, go full time or leave.

568
00:49:56.320 --> 00:49:59.440
That was it. And I said, okay, I'll go back

569
00:49:59.480 --> 00:50:02.840
full time. And then I came back the next day.

570
00:50:02.840 --> 00:50:13.920
I said I'm leaving, and I had no idea what

571
00:50:13.960 --> 00:50:18.320
I was going to do. Well, I knew I was

572
00:50:18.360 --> 00:50:22.719
going to leave. That was it. I think I think

573
00:50:22.840 --> 00:50:28.280
I was sort of doing a little gamble. I was

574
00:50:28.360 --> 00:50:32.960
hoping that they would say, oh no, no, no, no,

575
00:50:33.639 --> 00:50:37.519
run after me. Oh no, juicy, jaj we need you.

576
00:50:37.639 --> 00:50:40.760
It's it's okay, you can, you can stay part time.

577
00:50:42.840 --> 00:50:45.159
I'll employ someone else to come in and I'll pay

578
00:50:45.239 --> 00:50:48.559
out my own wages, someone extra to do the extra work.

579
00:50:49.639 --> 00:50:56.199
We can't lose you. But no, that didn't happen. It

580
00:50:56.360 --> 00:51:03.519
was weird because when I left, I just said goodbye

581
00:51:03.639 --> 00:51:06.199
to But by this point my boss had orly left

582
00:51:08.159 --> 00:51:12.599
and all I had was the lady that I was

583
00:51:12.679 --> 00:51:14.320
sitting next to me, that I got really well with

584
00:51:15.119 --> 00:51:17.280
the people behind me, and I just said see her,

585
00:51:18.760 --> 00:51:24.480
and I was left. And it's almost like no one

586
00:51:24.559 --> 00:51:28.559
knew I was leaving, or no one cared. It's hard

587
00:51:28.599 --> 00:51:37.440
to believe. It's very strange. Yeah, I feel a bit

588
00:51:37.599 --> 00:51:42.000
cold because I knew people in different departments because I've

589
00:51:42.000 --> 00:51:44.400
been in the sales department. I knew everyone in the

590
00:51:44.440 --> 00:51:50.920
sales department, not just because i'd worked with most of them. Well,

591
00:51:50.960 --> 00:51:52.840
I hadn't worked with most of my worked at the time.

592
00:51:52.920 --> 00:51:56.559
I'd worked with everyone, and then they took on another

593
00:51:58.000 --> 00:52:03.239
probably twice as many different people, maybe three times. I

594
00:52:03.400 --> 00:52:08.559
never heard. They took on a lot more people, and

595
00:52:08.639 --> 00:52:10.199
I got to know them because I was listening to

596
00:52:10.280 --> 00:52:13.400
their calls, so I felt like I knew them and

597
00:52:13.519 --> 00:52:16.159
I would speak to them, you know, and give them

598
00:52:16.239 --> 00:52:22.000
feedback and stuff. So not everyone was in love with

599
00:52:22.119 --> 00:52:28.440
me because they sometimes lost money due to not doing

600
00:52:28.480 --> 00:52:31.400
the job properly, and that wasn't my fault, that was

601
00:52:31.480 --> 00:52:40.239
just the way it was you know, just there was

602
00:52:40.400 --> 00:52:41.920
I did thought I was going to get in trouble

603
00:52:41.960 --> 00:52:48.039
once some lad who was in renewals and he lost

604
00:52:48.199 --> 00:52:56.360
something like two hundred pounds from his bonus because he

605
00:52:56.480 --> 00:53:07.400
failed every single one of his compliance things. And I said, well,

606
00:53:08.519 --> 00:53:12.159
I only marked two of them, and what's her name

607
00:53:12.239 --> 00:53:14.760
next to me? Mark two? We didn't do all four,

608
00:53:15.159 --> 00:53:18.880
so was it six three? I think I had six,

609
00:53:19.719 --> 00:53:23.079
Either four or six, I can't remember, but I didn't

610
00:53:23.079 --> 00:53:25.440
do all of them, so it couldn't all be blamed

611
00:53:25.519 --> 00:53:30.920
on me. So the team leader he calls the big fuss.

612
00:53:31.039 --> 00:53:33.840
The team leader came up, wants to listen to the

613
00:53:33.920 --> 00:53:38.000
calls again and said, no, it was fine, And I said,

614
00:53:38.000 --> 00:53:41.519
I'd listened to it again, No it wasn't, and then

615
00:53:41.960 --> 00:53:43.960
my boss would listen to it. He said, no, it

616
00:53:44.079 --> 00:53:47.840
wasn't all these people listening to the call trying to

617
00:53:48.400 --> 00:53:54.840
trying to find a way to pay him. When I mean,

618
00:53:55.320 --> 00:53:57.599
when I listened back to the call, I didn't want

619
00:53:57.679 --> 00:54:02.920
myself to be wrong for because I quite I quite

620
00:54:03.079 --> 00:54:05.599
liked the idea that I was pretty good at a job.

621
00:54:06.159 --> 00:54:09.639
But at the same time i'd have been happy enough.

622
00:54:10.960 --> 00:54:13.440
Well I wouldn't really, but I wanted him to have

623
00:54:13.519 --> 00:54:16.079
his money. I didn't want him to lose money. I

624
00:54:16.119 --> 00:54:19.679
wouldn't have been happy if I'd been wrong, just because

625
00:54:20.239 --> 00:54:23.280
that brings up doubts in other people's minds. Then, so

626
00:54:23.400 --> 00:54:26.280
how many other ones as you've done wrong? I lost

627
00:54:26.320 --> 00:54:29.440
one hundred pounds last month. Maybe that was because me,

628
00:54:29.480 --> 00:54:33.639
he doesn't know what he's doing. But I really didn't

629
00:54:33.679 --> 00:54:37.679
know what I was doing, very very very rarely will

630
00:54:37.719 --> 00:54:39.880
you ever hear me say that I was pretty good

631
00:54:40.199 --> 00:54:44.960
at that job. It was very simple, but I knew

632
00:54:45.000 --> 00:54:48.719
exactly what or I knew what needed to be, how

633
00:54:48.840 --> 00:54:51.519
things needed to be asked, and as a certain way

634
00:54:51.599 --> 00:54:54.559
it was. I think it was ridiculous that the staff

635
00:54:55.000 --> 00:54:59.599
were made to do that. You know, I really did this,

636
00:54:59.760 --> 00:55:04.000
But it's just compliance. It's just the rules. It's the rules,

637
00:55:04.079 --> 00:55:10.760
it's the financial whatever organization.

638
00:55:14.440 --> 00:55:14.639
Ah.

639
00:55:17.960 --> 00:55:22.960
But yeah, it's weird because I left thinking all I

640
00:55:23.039 --> 00:55:26.840
did give the month's notice. So during that month I

641
00:55:27.000 --> 00:55:35.119
applied to go to university to do my counseling degree.

642
00:55:36.360 --> 00:55:40.000
I applied. I didn't get a result, I think until

643
00:55:41.840 --> 00:55:48.360
i'd left, because that would have been in the August

644
00:55:51.239 --> 00:55:52.840
or maybe it was in the July year and in

645
00:55:53.000 --> 00:56:01.000
August September. I started university in October, so I think

646
00:56:01.079 --> 00:56:09.880
I probably went for an interview in the July, because

647
00:56:09.880 --> 00:56:14.280
I think they did the interviews before the clothes. I

648
00:56:14.320 --> 00:56:16.360
don't know, Yeah, I think I did. It might have

649
00:56:16.400 --> 00:56:19.280
been June, blame me anyway. I think it was July.

650
00:56:20.880 --> 00:56:21.440
And then.

651
00:56:25.440 --> 00:56:31.360
I got accepted. I went on to I got benefits

652
00:56:31.760 --> 00:56:36.960
housing benefit just for three months while I was unemployed

653
00:56:38.239 --> 00:56:41.559
waiting to go to university. I remember the they said

654
00:56:41.559 --> 00:56:45.400
another one. I remember the lady. It was a lady

655
00:56:46.079 --> 00:56:49.039
in this situation. It's not always a lady in my stories.

656
00:56:49.320 --> 00:56:52.199
It's quite often men as well. It was a man.

657
00:56:52.480 --> 00:56:57.800
It was a man. And she said to me, Yeah,

658
00:56:57.840 --> 00:56:59.719
you won't get any house and benefit because you're living

659
00:56:59.760 --> 00:57:03.280
in this shared accommodation. It's a religious house because I

660
00:57:03.400 --> 00:57:08.599
was living with Buddhists. There's no locks on the doors,

661
00:57:08.800 --> 00:57:16.119
because that's what makes it a multiple occupancy whatever. I said, Yeah,

662
00:57:16.239 --> 00:57:19.679
but we trust each other, so it don't matter there's

663
00:57:19.719 --> 00:57:21.679
no locks on the door. It's class as a family.

664
00:57:23.280 --> 00:57:25.800
I said, well, we do argue, so it's similar to

665
00:57:25.880 --> 00:57:33.119
be in her family, but I do pay rent. Well,

666
00:57:33.199 --> 00:57:35.480
it turns out she was wrong, and I did get paid,

667
00:57:35.840 --> 00:57:38.599
didn't get my rent paid, so that was good, and

668
00:57:38.800 --> 00:57:43.559
only for a few weeks. What's it probably two months?

669
00:57:43.599 --> 00:57:51.440
Really only two months, and so if I hadn't been

670
00:57:51.559 --> 00:57:57.199
told you either go full time or you leave, then

671
00:57:58.840 --> 00:58:02.639
I would never have probably gone to university because I

672
00:58:02.760 --> 00:58:09.119
was fairly kind of happy being there doing part time

673
00:58:10.280 --> 00:58:17.199
and then volunteering doing a free pain relief service. No,

674
00:58:17.559 --> 00:58:19.159
I'd stop doing that at this point. So I was

675
00:58:19.239 --> 00:58:21.840
doing that in two thousand and six. I was doing

676
00:58:21.920 --> 00:58:25.360
that when I was full time, the free pay relief service,

677
00:58:26.480 --> 00:58:30.719
and I was doing on Saturdays. But then two thousand

678
00:58:30.719 --> 00:58:41.079
and seven I was doing the the Rehab drug Rehab

679
00:58:41.199 --> 00:58:46.159
and Alcoholic Charity, so I was doing relaxation group sessions.

680
00:58:46.599 --> 00:58:48.719
I think I was doing two a week each one,

681
00:58:51.280 --> 00:58:59.440
and not while I was part time. I think I

682
00:58:59.519 --> 00:59:02.159
was doing one a week at each one, and then

683
00:59:02.400 --> 00:59:14.320
when I went or was I I can't remember one

684
00:59:14.480 --> 00:59:19.679
two yeah, I think it was two a week, one

685
00:59:19.719 --> 00:59:22.440
a week, and then I went two a week for

686
00:59:22.599 --> 00:59:29.039
each one when I left my job. That was a shame.

687
00:59:29.280 --> 00:59:34.920
I'd again, I'd probably still be there doing that if

688
00:59:34.960 --> 00:59:43.280
it hadn't been for circumstances. It's a shame. That's weird,

689
00:59:43.360 --> 00:59:47.800
isn't it. I know, you know, life, just life is.

690
00:59:49.840 --> 00:59:52.559
It can be a bit unusual at times all the time,

691
00:59:53.320 --> 01:00:02.039
but there's certain in some ways. For a short period

692
01:00:02.079 --> 01:00:15.239
of time, everything was kind of going pretty well, even

693
01:00:15.440 --> 01:00:21.599
leading up to starting university, because I had everything planned

694
01:00:22.480 --> 01:00:28.360
very eloquently. I'm not sure if it's eloquent, but I

695
01:00:28.440 --> 01:00:36.159
had everything planned. So I had a part time job

696
01:00:36.880 --> 01:00:44.119
in a supermarket to start, and it was just going

697
01:00:44.199 --> 01:00:52.679
to be at weekends. I was starting university. Well i'd

698
01:00:52.679 --> 01:00:56.920
already started university, but it was in a different town,

699
01:00:57.039 --> 01:01:03.960
but that was okay, it was doable. I was still

700
01:01:04.039 --> 01:01:08.480
living at the Buddhist place again. That was what I

701
01:01:08.599 --> 01:01:17.000
wanted and it's fairly cheap to live there. I was

702
01:01:17.119 --> 01:01:21.880
still doing the voluntary work. I had to base it around,

703
01:01:23.000 --> 01:01:25.199
you know, university, but I was still managing to go

704
01:01:25.360 --> 01:01:28.760
twice a week, so I'll do at least one session

705
01:01:29.320 --> 01:01:36.119
per week at the the two charities doing group relaxation sessions.

706
01:01:38.800 --> 01:01:44.920
I was still making my recordings and my videos, and

707
01:01:47.320 --> 01:01:52.079
I had a new girlfriend, which came from me doing

708
01:01:52.079 --> 01:01:55.800
the voluntary work. She was in charge of the volunteers,

709
01:01:56.519 --> 01:02:01.360
volunteer coordinature or something. So everything was kind of going

710
01:02:01.440 --> 01:02:12.880
together quite nicely actually, And then, as sometimes happened, Hello

711
01:02:13.000 --> 01:02:20.840
for Anny, Hello Hello, as sometimes occurs, things went a

712
01:02:20.920 --> 01:02:28.039
little bit awry. So I ended up moving to the

713
01:02:28.159 --> 01:02:33.639
town I was going to university, yet moving away from

714
01:02:33.679 --> 01:02:37.840
that job, so I didn't even get to start the job,

715
01:02:41.480 --> 01:02:49.639
and moving away from my friends. My girlfriend wasn't I

716
01:02:49.760 --> 01:02:52.440
moved away from her and she didn't take that greatly,

717
01:02:53.599 --> 01:02:59.239
and I wasn't able to do the volunteer work anymore.

718
01:03:04.440 --> 01:03:07.039
So the only thing I continued when I moved was

719
01:03:08.000 --> 01:03:15.800
doing recordings and videos and going to university. But the

720
01:03:15.880 --> 01:03:21.519
way it worked out, it did take a lot out

721
01:03:21.559 --> 01:03:27.400
of me doing that course. So I'm not sure if

722
01:03:27.440 --> 01:03:35.000
I'd have been able to maintain all the other things

723
01:03:35.239 --> 01:03:39.079
at the same time, you know, a part time job,

724
01:03:39.480 --> 01:03:52.679
a girlfriend, the volunteer jobs, volunteer work. Yeah, I don't

725
01:03:52.719 --> 01:03:54.639
know if I could have. I mean, it might have

726
01:03:54.679 --> 01:03:59.000
been much better. I don't know, but I don't know,

727
01:04:00.119 --> 01:04:06.440
no way of knowing. But that was with Sainsbury's. I

728
01:04:06.559 --> 01:04:08.719
tell it's weird. I actually got a part time job

729
01:04:08.760 --> 01:04:23.000
again in Sainsbury's. In was it where was it. Yeah,

730
01:04:23.119 --> 01:04:25.599
when I moved here, I got a job, part time

731
01:04:25.719 --> 01:04:31.000
job at Sainsbury's, and again I didn't go. I got

732
01:04:31.039 --> 01:04:34.480
the job, I just didn't go. I just couldn't face it.

733
01:04:35.880 --> 01:04:46.320
It's weird. I couldn't get out of bed. And then yeah,

734
01:04:46.360 --> 01:04:50.760
I think I kind of I think that particular, that

735
01:04:50.960 --> 01:04:54.400
particular ladder has been shortened. I don't think I can

736
01:04:54.440 --> 01:05:02.679
get onto the ladder anymore. For that company, I was

737
01:05:02.760 --> 01:05:18.239
going to be on the vegetable section. Hm. It was weird,

738
01:05:18.320 --> 01:05:20.320
well not weird, but the bloke that showed me around

739
01:05:20.360 --> 01:05:23.280
and it was going to be my supervisor. He was

740
01:05:23.440 --> 01:05:28.000
so enthusiastic about all the apples, the fruits and the

741
01:05:28.119 --> 01:05:36.559
vegetables and the cabbages and the beetroot and really enthusiastic.

742
01:05:37.719 --> 01:05:46.679
He had a hat and everything. You really, I can't

743
01:05:46.719 --> 01:05:50.280
really express to you how enthusiastic he was about that

744
01:05:50.440 --> 01:05:54.599
particular section. Now, it's quite a large section in the supermarket,

745
01:05:54.679 --> 01:05:59.159
isn't it, The whole vegetable, fruit and veg area. It's

746
01:05:59.280 --> 01:06:03.599
quite a quite a big section of a large supermarket,

747
01:06:05.320 --> 01:06:09.039
so I'm guessing there'd be quite a few staff looking

748
01:06:09.119 --> 01:06:14.079
after that area. And he was I don't know if

749
01:06:14.119 --> 01:06:16.519
he was in charge overall in charge, or if he

750
01:06:16.679 --> 01:06:23.119
was I don't know, like a shift manager or something.

751
01:06:26.599 --> 01:06:30.280
Definitely loved his job, which was amazing. I always like

752
01:06:30.400 --> 01:06:33.719
that anyone. I've just got a thing about people enthusiastic

753
01:06:33.760 --> 01:06:38.679
about stuff, because I don't think I come across as

754
01:06:38.719 --> 01:06:45.920
being very enthusiastic. I hide it very well. I I

755
01:06:46.039 --> 01:06:50.480
just like that. I don't Yeah, whatever it is, as

756
01:06:50.519 --> 01:06:54.320
long as it's not hurting anyone else, and for me personally,

757
01:06:54.440 --> 01:06:59.440
it's useful. Just just for me personally. I mean, other

758
01:06:59.519 --> 01:07:03.000
people can be enthusiastic about whatever they want. That's up

759
01:07:03.039 --> 01:07:09.000
to them. I only really want to be enthusiastic about Well,

760
01:07:09.079 --> 01:07:15.360
actually it's not true because I'm enthusiastic about Let's try

761
01:07:15.400 --> 01:07:17.480
to say the word a little bit slower so it

762
01:07:17.599 --> 01:07:28.119
comes out more concisely and clearly enthusiastic. I am enthusiastic

763
01:07:28.159 --> 01:07:31.760
about boxing, and that's not helping anyone. The only one

764
01:07:31.800 --> 01:07:38.679
that's helping is to people that are getting paid. So

765
01:07:38.840 --> 01:07:47.559
I'm you know, I love watching the big fights. My

766
01:07:47.679 --> 01:08:02.119
stomach's hungry again. It don't stop being hungry. It's nearly

767
01:08:02.199 --> 01:08:05.559
time to take the little monkey out for a little

768
01:08:05.800 --> 01:08:14.239
climbing the trees, my little monk. So that's the end

769
01:08:14.440 --> 01:08:20.640
of this here recording. It's not you know, it's not

770
01:08:20.760 --> 01:08:28.439
in line with the regular Monday Tuesday kind of schedule

771
01:08:28.640 --> 01:08:33.279
that I've been building up over the last few months

772
01:08:34.560 --> 01:08:39.680
or I don't know how long it's been. But I

773
01:08:39.760 --> 01:08:43.720
will get back to that. I promise. I really do

774
01:08:44.000 --> 01:08:48.560
promise it. Just you know, it might take a little while.

775
01:08:49.680 --> 01:08:52.479
I will get back to it. There's a bit of

776
01:08:52.520 --> 01:08:55.560
a blip with the adverts as well, but that's sorted

777
01:08:55.640 --> 01:09:02.359
now thanks to someone let me know that, thank you

778
01:09:03.159 --> 01:09:06.359
that there was adverts playing mid role on some of

779
01:09:06.439 --> 01:09:10.319
the podcasts. They shouldn't have been. So that's all been

780
01:09:10.640 --> 01:09:19.199
sorted out. Yeah, it should should be sorted out. Please

781
01:09:19.520 --> 01:09:36.000
please please severely mentally deficient. Wow Yeah, I feel like

782
01:09:36.039 --> 01:09:38.239
I need to print that only I might put that

783
01:09:38.359 --> 01:09:45.520
as my screen as the image for this recording. It's

784
01:09:45.680 --> 01:09:53.000
like what wow. Anyway, I'm going to go. Thank you

785
01:09:53.439 --> 01:09:59.920
for listening. Please remember to be kind to yourself because

786
01:10:00.079 --> 01:10:04.199
you do deserve to be happy. Be gentle with yourself.

787
01:10:05.439 --> 01:10:19.800
You deserve to feel safe. Lots of love. Bye, Relax

788
01:10:23.439 --> 01:10:33.960
in a more deep and meaningful way, maybe in a

789
01:10:34.079 --> 01:10:41.439
way that can not just allow you to feel calmer

790
01:10:42.800 --> 01:10:52.159
now and throughout the time we spend together here, not

791
01:10:52.720 --> 01:10:58.000
just relaxed at the end of the recording when it's

792
01:10:58.159 --> 01:11:05.279
finished and you can enjoy that sense of comfort and peace,

793
01:11:10.039 --> 01:11:22.640
but also I think it would be nice to have

794
01:11:23.359 --> 01:11:40.359
those feelings of relaxation continue for longer after the recording

795
01:11:40.399 --> 01:11:53.840
has ended, so that you can still benefit from listening

796
01:11:54.800 --> 01:12:03.640
to my voice, maybe in a few hours time, perhaps tomorrow,

797
01:12:09.720 --> 01:12:17.560
and then by listening regularly, especially if you find like

798
01:12:17.720 --> 01:12:21.159
some people do and myself as well. I sometimes I

799
01:12:21.319 --> 01:12:31.800
find one particular recording that really resonates with me, and

800
01:12:31.960 --> 01:12:37.119
I just listen to it over and over again every morning,

801
01:12:37.319 --> 01:12:49.880
every evening. There was this recording from We're going back

802
01:12:49.920 --> 01:12:55.159
to about nineteen ninety nine. It was it wasn't hypnosis,

803
01:12:55.279 --> 01:12:59.439
but it was a guided visualizations. It kind of was

804
01:12:59.560 --> 01:13:06.720
hypnosi is really and I managed to find it again

805
01:13:07.560 --> 01:13:12.960
and it still has the same effect on me. And

806
01:13:13.239 --> 01:13:26.720
part of it was the person's voice relaxed me, just

807
01:13:26.880 --> 01:13:33.920
felt so peaceful, and I'd look forward to listening to

808
01:13:34.119 --> 01:13:46.319
her in the morning and in the evening. And I

809
01:13:46.520 --> 01:13:55.640
knew before even pressing the play button that since I've

810
01:13:55.720 --> 01:14:00.439
done that, pressed the play button. This was in days

811
01:14:00.479 --> 01:14:14.600
of CD players press the play button. In fact, it

812
01:14:14.680 --> 01:14:18.760
might have even been a tap tape recorder. I'd lie

813
01:14:18.880 --> 01:14:29.960
down on the bed and then even without necessarily listening

814
01:14:31.720 --> 01:14:44.920
to her words because I had them memorized. Really, it

815
01:14:45.079 --> 01:14:50.720
was as if my body knew exactly what to do,

816
01:14:55.640 --> 01:15:17.319
and the muscles just almost went into automatic relaxation, and

817
01:15:17.600 --> 01:15:31.279
I remember my mind would slow down. Now. Now, I

818
01:15:31.399 --> 01:15:37.840
was listening to this recording in the early days of

819
01:15:38.000 --> 01:15:48.560
learning hypnosis, and long before I ever made any videos

820
01:15:48.840 --> 01:15:53.479
or audio recordings myself, because I didn't start doing that

821
01:15:53.680 --> 01:16:08.000
till two thousand and six, I knew. I knew how

822
01:16:09.880 --> 01:16:23.640
helpful I found being able to just let go, to

823
01:16:23.760 --> 01:16:28.920
have that trust in the person that I'm listening to,

824
01:16:36.640 --> 01:16:43.399
knowing that it's going to be just as relaxing, if

825
01:16:44.800 --> 01:16:54.159
not more so. Each time you hear my voice, you

826
01:16:54.279 --> 01:17:05.840
may feel the same. Some people have been listening to

827
01:17:05.960 --> 01:17:19.800
me for over a decade, maybe not solidly, obviously not

828
01:17:19.920 --> 01:17:26.199
twenty four hours a day, but maybe people come back.

829
01:17:28.039 --> 01:17:41.880
Some people maybe listen every day. That's something that I

830
01:17:43.159 --> 01:17:59.119
do which you may not realize by listening, is when

831
01:17:59.439 --> 01:18:14.880
I called these recordings now. For example, I also am

832
01:18:15.199 --> 01:18:26.039
affected by the words that I say. So if I

833
01:18:29.039 --> 01:18:36.359
set you focus on your feet, notice your feet relaxing,

834
01:18:39.880 --> 01:18:47.560
I will be focusing on my feet. I will be

835
01:18:47.880 --> 01:19:05.119
noticing my feet relaxing. If I have said focus on

836
01:19:05.239 --> 01:19:12.960
your hands, and maybe notice the difference between each hand.

837
01:19:17.119 --> 01:19:23.840
Perhaps notice the the air in the room, the temperature

838
01:19:23.960 --> 01:19:35.800
of the room. On the backs of your hands. You

839
01:19:35.920 --> 01:19:39.920
may start to notice what almost feels like a very

840
01:19:40.159 --> 01:19:48.520
light breeze, even though there may not be any type

841
01:19:48.520 --> 01:20:01.359
of breeze at all where you are right now. And

842
01:20:01.560 --> 01:20:12.720
as you become aware of your hands, I'm also aware

843
01:20:15.439 --> 01:20:40.800
of how relaxed my hands our feeling now and when

844
01:20:40.840 --> 01:20:47.800
it comes to potentially drifting off to sleep, which may

845
01:20:47.880 --> 01:21:04.199
be the reason you're listening, I also feel browsy when

846
01:21:04.279 --> 01:21:17.479
I make these recordings. I also notice my mind drifting.

847
01:21:25.399 --> 01:21:37.960
In fact, at times I've actually fallen asleep without even noticing,

848
01:21:42.880 --> 01:21:52.359
and then I carry on talking. It's only where I

849
01:21:54.000 --> 01:22:03.359
listen back to do the editing. He is snoring, and

850
01:22:03.479 --> 01:22:13.520
I think I don't remember snoring. I remember talking. This

851
01:22:13.680 --> 01:22:20.960
snoring was a pig turned up. That's why I sound

852
01:22:21.119 --> 01:22:28.960
like when I snare and I get really into the

853
01:22:30.840 --> 01:22:49.000
whole experience. I don't know how you feel. How relaxed

854
01:22:49.079 --> 01:22:59.199
do you feel in your feet, how relaxed you feel

855
01:22:59.399 --> 01:23:26.039
in your ends. I have noticed more and more that

856
01:23:26.239 --> 01:23:42.399
the more relaxed, deeper level of comfort you feel, the

857
01:23:42.640 --> 01:24:00.319
easier your breathing becomes. It's almost like that additional HM

858
01:24:01.680 --> 01:24:22.600
muscle relaxation. So this allows you the breath easier without

859
01:24:24.119 --> 01:24:44.760
necessarily focusing on your breath, however, being able to notice

860
01:24:55.439 --> 01:25:25.119
the ease in which you breathe so naturally. You breathe

861
01:25:25.800 --> 01:26:09.439
so very easily and smoothly. Whenever I imagine my breathing improving,

862
01:26:15.159 --> 01:26:28.439
when I've got my eyes closed, I tend to visualize

863
01:26:30.640 --> 01:26:44.960
a beautiful field with trees and flowers producing all that

864
01:26:47.039 --> 01:27:19.800
life giving oxygen. It feels nice to, if nothing else,

865
01:27:23.039 --> 01:27:57.119
just taking some time away from everything, enjoying that feeling

866
01:27:57.520 --> 01:28:48.000
of peace serenity with a joyful heart. Time seems to

867
01:28:48.319 --> 01:29:23.399
just drip by so very slowly, relaxed, so deeply peaceful,

868
01:29:33.359 --> 01:30:16.119
completely unattached to any thoughts whatsoever in this moment, completely free,

869
01:30:42.600 --> 01:30:43.720
noticing that.

870
01:30:51.279 --> 01:30:52.359
Your mind.

871
01:31:00.199 --> 01:31:39.680
Slowed down, slowed down because nothing really requires your attention.

872
01:31:56.159 --> 01:32:10.439
You can enjoy the physical sensations of allowing the stress

873
01:32:10.840 --> 01:32:22.439
to rip out of your body, to appear out of

874
01:32:23.000 --> 01:32:52.159
every part of your body, and being released from your brain.

875
01:32:57.600 --> 01:33:33.680
N your mind slowly but surely, the muscles all lax.

876
01:33:48.800 --> 01:34:19.600
Relax rex hm really so very deeply, reacts.

877
01:34:24.000 --> 01:34:49.359
So deeply, and the feelings, the pleasant feelings in your

878
01:34:49.680 --> 01:35:17.439
arms and shoulders, deepening each part of your body further

879
01:35:22.479 --> 01:35:55.760
and deeper and deeper. Noticing the feelings in the back

880
01:35:55.840 --> 01:36:58.159
of your neck, feelings in your wrists, muscles in front

881
01:36:58.319 --> 01:37:52.119
of your body. I also feeling peaceful deeply. There's a

882
01:37:52.319 --> 01:38:33.840
sense of peace spreads through. You're very cool. Even when

883
01:38:34.000 --> 01:39:37.159
you focus on your mind. Your mind becomes bee and slowerven, deeper, relaxing,

884
01:40:01.000 --> 01:40:38.880
so very slow. Your stomach. He's for in your stomach,

885
01:41:01.039 --> 01:41:35.079
You're back. Notice Notice how relaxed you'd now fear in

886
01:41:35.279 --> 01:42:07.960
the hole of your back, in spy from your brain

887
01:42:08.520 --> 01:42:16.239
all the way down the middle of your back, sending

888
01:42:16.600 --> 01:42:52.199
and receiving millions of messages every day, deepcomfort, increasing deeply relaxed,

889
01:43:22.279 --> 01:43:57.359
your knees, spreading these signals down a spine or cord

890
01:44:01.760 --> 01:44:20.399
in the air, every part of your body, your sins,

891
01:44:20.600 --> 01:44:51.000
and your calf muscles. We're outbos.

892
01:45:00.199 --> 01:45:00.239
H.

893
01:45:06.840 --> 01:45:24.239
Feelings of peace and tranquility spreading through your body, tips

894
01:45:24.319 --> 01:45:40.199
of your toes to your eyes, your fingers, all the

895
01:45:40.279 --> 01:46:25.960
way to your lower back. M letting go, radiating peace,

896
01:46:41.800 --> 01:47:08.119
drifting mind just wound in a way happy to let go,

897
01:47:11.600 --> 01:48:12.880
let go completely, let go, so tranquil, the whole body

898
01:48:17.239 --> 01:50:33.520
enjoying a sensor letting go, he even more peece enjoy

899
01:50:39.279 --> 01:51:15.880
the space, this space of peace and safety, so fury

900
01:51:19.000 --> 01:53:17.880
fy relaxed, lessing God. Maybe we can just focus on

901
01:53:18.039 --> 01:53:52.720
the different parts of your body, just to notice your

902
01:53:52.920 --> 01:54:55.159
forehead and your eyes uture, So Louise, notice in the

903
01:54:55.359 --> 01:56:30.319
sense of complete freedom, absolute freedom, rif rifting peace, for energy,

904
01:57:03.239 --> 01:58:18.920
peace to breathe much easier lest you may have you

905
01:58:19.199 --> 01:59:19.960
may not have noticed your mind drifting, peaceful, moveingly, even

906
01:59:20.279 --> 02:00:14.680
more deeply in the direction of total blissful pace, blissful pace, Christ,

907
02:01:02.600 --> 02:01:03.840
total peace.

908
02:01:28.560 --> 02:02:15.359
Come, so calm, let him go, peace with mind.

909
02:02:24.640 --> 02:02:59.119
Relaxed forty, so relaxed, so relaxed.

910
02:03:23.600 --> 02:03:50.439
Your body feels almost invisible, so very relaxed. I'm peaceful,

911
02:03:56.800 --> 02:04:58.399
so peace real liquor so peaceful, son of fair face.

912
02:05:04.520 --> 02:05:10.760
And you could start to notice that you are feeling

913
02:05:11.159 --> 02:05:22.359
more relaxed, even though I've not purposely focused your mind

914
02:05:23.319 --> 02:05:30.880
upon that sense of physical comfort that is growing within

915
02:05:31.000 --> 02:05:40.119
you throughout your body, and your mind starts to slow down,

916
02:05:45.079 --> 02:05:52.239
and that could be almost in recognition of I guess

917
02:05:52.680 --> 02:06:05.159
my speech not being particularly fast and things just generally

918
02:06:06.840 --> 02:06:17.880
feel calmer. Just by listening to my voice, you give

919
02:06:17.920 --> 02:06:24.840
yourself an opportunity to take a break from the day,

920
02:06:27.000 --> 02:06:34.479
take a break from your life as it is, and

921
02:06:34.640 --> 02:06:42.359
to give yourself a rest, giving yourself permission to take

922
02:06:42.479 --> 02:06:48.039
some time off, and to allow your body to relax

923
02:06:49.760 --> 02:06:57.640
and allow your mind to slow down, which in turn

924
02:07:00.279 --> 02:07:05.880
releases the tension any stresses that you had in your body.

925
02:07:11.880 --> 02:07:15.760
It's almost as if the parts of your body just

926
02:07:16.039 --> 02:07:27.720
open up, allowing the negativity out and at the same

927
02:07:27.880 --> 02:07:39.159
time replacing that negativity with positive heathing energy, which then

928
02:07:39.359 --> 02:07:48.479
fills your body up and your mind to also starts

929
02:07:48.640 --> 02:08:06.079
to appreciate those feelings of increasing confidence, an almost uplifting feeling,

930
02:08:08.159 --> 02:08:22.199
positive healing, an energy that spreads through your body like

931
02:08:22.319 --> 02:08:32.600
a wave of comfort. And all this comes from just

932
02:08:36.159 --> 02:08:44.920
allowing yourself a few minutes, maybe half an hour, however

933
02:08:45.039 --> 02:08:54.760
long you want it to be to just rest and

934
02:08:54.920 --> 02:09:04.920
allow your mind and your body to almost reset itself

935
02:09:07.800 --> 02:09:23.560
to the settings of comfort and relaxation, calmness, which allows

936
02:09:23.960 --> 02:09:36.680
more room for feelings of pleasure and happiness to move

937
02:09:37.199 --> 02:09:46.000
around your body and into your mind, almost as if

938
02:09:46.079 --> 02:09:55.800
your mind and your body are sinking together, almost mirroring

939
02:09:56.640 --> 02:10:09.520
each other with that crow positivity and calmness. And it

940
02:10:09.600 --> 02:10:17.079
feels nice. It really does feel nice to know that

941
02:10:17.399 --> 02:10:26.520
you are the one that has allowed yourself to feel

942
02:10:27.000 --> 02:10:41.560
more comfort and to experience more of this deep relaxation

943
02:10:43.000 --> 02:10:57.159
spreading throughout your body, and as I focus on each

944
02:10:57.640 --> 02:11:03.239
part of your body, you can notice that that part

945
02:11:07.239 --> 02:11:19.680
becomes even more relaxed just by focusing on it. It

946
02:11:19.840 --> 02:11:33.399
becomes even more calm and comfortable just by focusing. And

947
02:11:33.600 --> 02:11:39.119
as I move down your body, starting at your head,

948
02:11:41.800 --> 02:11:48.520
the parts that you've already focused on will continue to

949
02:11:48.720 --> 02:11:56.319
relax deeply, and those parts that we've not yet focused

950
02:11:56.399 --> 02:12:09.720
on were just automatically release any remain intention in anticipation

951
02:12:10.159 --> 02:12:23.199
of even more comfort about to come. Now, I'm going

952
02:12:23.239 --> 02:12:30.159
to start by focusing on your forehead, just being aware

953
02:12:30.479 --> 02:12:39.079
of the feelings of your forehead and any background sounds

954
02:12:40.840 --> 02:12:45.720
like mister Herbert the pigeon can just allow you to

955
02:12:45.880 --> 02:12:53.119
feel even more relaxed. Just means you're in the moment.

956
02:12:56.279 --> 02:13:01.600
This isn't this isn't a sterile environment. This is the world.

957
02:13:05.039 --> 02:13:11.119
I live in the countryside, so there's lots of nature

958
02:13:11.640 --> 02:13:22.119
sounds around. So as you focus on your forehead, just

959
02:13:22.399 --> 02:13:30.159
notice how it becomes even more relaxed as you focus

960
02:13:32.479 --> 02:13:36.960
only on my voice and that part of your body.

961
02:13:42.159 --> 02:13:50.439
Moving down to your eyes, focusing on your eyes, noticing

962
02:13:52.920 --> 02:14:02.600
how your eyelids feel so heavy yet so light at

963
02:14:02.640 --> 02:14:09.079
the same time, and all the muscles around your eyes

964
02:14:09.359 --> 02:14:23.760
relaxing completely. Moving your focus down to your mouth, your lips,

965
02:14:24.239 --> 02:14:30.640
your tongue, your teeth, and your gumbs in the whole

966
02:14:30.840 --> 02:14:45.399
of your mouth, relaxing, calm and loose. As you focus

967
02:14:45.640 --> 02:14:53.159
now on your jaw, not just the part of your

968
02:14:53.279 --> 02:14:57.760
jaw near your mouth and your chin, but all the

969
02:14:57.880 --> 02:15:02.239
way up the size of your face to your ears,

970
02:15:04.479 --> 02:15:16.199
the hole of your jaw, feeding more relaxed.

971
02:15:19.680 --> 02:15:20.359
And calm.

972
02:15:28.560 --> 02:15:37.640
Focusing on your neck, the front of your neck and

973
02:15:37.760 --> 02:15:50.760
your throat, relaxing and loose and calm. The sides of

974
02:15:50.880 --> 02:15:56.159
your neck, the right and left side of your neck

975
02:15:59.079 --> 02:16:00.399
relax and.

976
02:16:01.920 --> 02:16:15.520
Loose and calm, and now the back of your neck.

977
02:16:18.840 --> 02:16:28.880
Focusing on the back of your neck, letting go of

978
02:16:29.039 --> 02:16:35.920
any tension that may have been there before, and enjoying

979
02:16:36.319 --> 02:16:49.200
that sense of increasing comfort and release that you can

980
02:16:49.360 --> 02:17:00.479
experience in the back of your neck, moving down your

981
02:17:00.600 --> 02:17:07.920
back and moving either side of your spine right from

982
02:17:07.959 --> 02:17:13.319
the top of your back all the way down to

983
02:17:13.440 --> 02:17:25.680
the bottom of your back down to your lower back.

984
02:17:30.760 --> 02:17:37.799
And as you move up and down your spine, you

985
02:17:37.920 --> 02:17:45.040
can feel the muscles either side of your spine relaxing

986
02:17:45.719 --> 02:17:59.120
even more. And as those muscles relax, that sense of

987
02:17:59.360 --> 02:18:10.040
comfort starts to spread outwards from your spine into both

988
02:18:10.239 --> 02:18:17.280
sides of your back, the top of your back, the

989
02:18:17.479 --> 02:18:25.840
middle and your lower back. And as you scan gently

990
02:18:26.360 --> 02:18:33.719
and slowly up and down your back, there's the muscles

991
02:18:33.920 --> 02:18:39.000
in the top of your back relax and become looser.

992
02:18:43.360 --> 02:18:49.360
The muscles in the middle of your back also seem

993
02:18:49.479 --> 02:18:58.959
to just almost divide from each other, separating and almost melting,

994
02:19:04.719 --> 02:19:10.719
And in your lower back it seems to be an

995
02:19:10.799 --> 02:19:25.000
extra special feeling of comfort that spreads into your hips

996
02:19:27.280 --> 02:19:35.120
sit down your lower back, into your hips, into the

997
02:19:35.319 --> 02:19:44.079
area where your cosicks are, and into your buttocks, and

998
02:19:44.159 --> 02:19:53.360
all those muscles that spread from your lower back into

999
02:19:53.440 --> 02:20:06.879
your hip area start to melt, start to really let go,

1000
02:20:13.639 --> 02:20:18.440
and you know where about to focus on your shoulders.

1001
02:20:20.200 --> 02:20:27.200
Your back and your spine will continue to let go,

1002
02:20:30.280 --> 02:20:45.879
continue to relax so calmly. And if you focus on

1003
02:20:46.000 --> 02:20:58.920
your shoulders, you may notice that they're already feeling really loose.

1004
02:21:03.760 --> 02:21:30.159
They already feeding, calm and feeding those muscles. Then move

1005
02:21:30.559 --> 02:21:46.399
from your neck into your shoulders. Feel so soft and gentle,

1006
02:21:50.520 --> 02:22:12.079
so smooth and calm, and the feeding in your shoulders

1007
02:22:19.440 --> 02:22:27.920
seens to spread deep into your shoulders, that sense of relaxation,

1008
02:22:29.159 --> 02:22:40.639
not just traveling deeply into your muscles, but also relaxing

1009
02:22:43.520 --> 02:22:57.639
the bones and moving all away to underneath your arms, relaxing.

1010
02:22:58.719 --> 02:23:00.079
That whole area.

1011
02:23:00.120 --> 02:23:09.840
Between the tops of your shoulders and underneath your arms healing.

1012
02:23:15.239 --> 02:23:28.200
You feel so relaxed and comfortable in your shoulders. Who

1013
02:23:28.520 --> 02:23:50.719
sends that deep healing message into your arms? You may

1014
02:23:51.000 --> 02:23:56.280
feel almost as if your arms are not even there,

1015
02:23:57.760 --> 02:24:19.680
because they're so relaxed, so deeply relaxed, so so calm,

1016
02:24:34.760 --> 02:24:56.639
so not feeling spreading all the way down your arms

1017
02:24:59.399 --> 02:25:25.360
to our was, including your elbows, circumforts spreads or away

1018
02:25:28.120 --> 02:25:43.120
into your rests, your forearments and your wrists so heavy,

1019
02:25:46.760 --> 02:26:27.600
yet at the same time, so light and gentle. Fred

1020
02:26:27.680 --> 02:26:31.559
you see now on.

1021
02:26:34.200 --> 02:26:58.239
Your hands, my hands.

1022
02:27:00.280 --> 02:27:00.360
H.

1023
02:27:04.120 --> 02:27:33.719
So peaceful. In your hands, there's a sense of real peace.

1024
02:27:45.479 --> 02:27:59.239
It just seems to feel so familiar in your hands,

1025
02:27:59.559 --> 02:29:36.959
relaxed deeply. Yes, your things, A thing is sils you thing,

1026
02:29:37.159 --> 02:30:11.040
its tips. Moving your attention to the front of your body,

1027
02:30:24.159 --> 02:32:01.159
so comfortable, moving your focus to your legs. Love, muscles

1028
02:32:03.319 --> 02:32:55.959
in your thighs, your knees, so relaxed, you calved muscles

1029
02:32:57.319 --> 02:35:14.440
and just shins coprazyly in the fathing in your feet. Sir, peaceful,

1030
02:35:16.559 --> 02:36:03.760
so calm, so peaceful, so calm, mhm hm, so peaceful,

1031
02:36:07.440 --> 02:36:37.799
so calm, so peace fa RelA sin peace fall, so calm,

1032
02:36:45.799 --> 02:36:53.360
loving that deep relaxation, to spread your chest, in your stomach,

1033
02:36:57.159 --> 02:37:24.319
so RelA, letting go of everything. So I'm gonna start

1034
02:37:24.479 --> 02:37:36.120
counting down now, from twenty down to one. You can

1035
02:37:36.239 --> 02:37:39.639
imagine in a way it's like just walking down some

1036
02:37:39.959 --> 02:37:45.879
steps and each step or twenty steps, and each step

1037
02:37:46.079 --> 02:37:58.879
represents a level of comfort, each step represents a deepening

1038
02:38:00.879 --> 02:38:11.200
of that comfort, and the fervies you walk down those

1039
02:38:11.360 --> 02:38:23.159
steps that the deeper and more relaxed you feel. So

1040
02:38:23.840 --> 02:41:11.000
starting with number twenty twenty, nineteen eight, seventeen sixteen us

1041
02:42:13.040 --> 02:49:22.559
fifteen fourteen four two too well, five eight nine hey

1042
02:50:22.360 --> 02:59:08.040
seven yeah yaaaaaaaaaaaaa five four one. And now as you

1043
02:59:08.239 --> 02:59:21.520
focus on your eyes, we're gonna count down from ten

1044
02:59:21.760 --> 02:59:36.600
dout to one, focusing just on your eyes, your eyelids,

1045
02:59:37.079 --> 02:59:45.799
the muscles around your eyes, your eye walls themselves, a

1046
02:59:46.000 --> 03:00:02.920
whole area that makes up your eye. And as we

1047
03:00:03.159 --> 03:00:11.719
count down from ten down to one, whilst focusing on

1048
03:00:11.840 --> 03:00:27.000
your eyes, you will become twice is relaxed with each

1049
03:00:27.479 --> 03:00:39.920
number counting down that you may find the all you

1050
03:00:40.200 --> 03:00:46.000
want to do is just to drift off to sleep.

1051
03:00:49.000 --> 03:00:55.600
And if that's what you want, then just allow yourself

1052
03:00:55.719 --> 03:01:10.360
to do that. Now, focusing on your eyes, I'm going

1053
03:01:10.479 --> 03:01:15.920
to begin counting down from ten down to one.

1054
03:01:19.920 --> 03:01:29.559
Right now, ten.

1055
03:01:55.520 --> 03:02:30.719
Nine eight.

1056
03:02:38.319 --> 03:04:23.719
Seven ye.

1057
03:05:27.920 --> 03:06:39.479
Five four.

1058
03:07:52.600 --> 03:08:59.000
Three two.

1059
03:10:26.799 --> 03:10:27.040
One.

1060
03:10:33.360 --> 03:10:50.000
So counted down from ten to one ten nine eight

1061
03:10:52.840 --> 03:11:17.639
seven six five four three two one. And maybe that

1062
03:11:17.840 --> 03:11:21.959
was a bit too quick in order to relax. Maybe

1063
03:11:22.000 --> 03:11:26.319
it's a bit too fast for you to notice the

1064
03:11:27.600 --> 03:11:34.399
calming of your body, maybe even a little bit of

1065
03:11:34.520 --> 03:11:38.479
pressure there, like you're counting down from ten to one.

1066
03:11:38.600 --> 03:11:42.000
Would you expect me to do man, expect me to

1067
03:11:42.040 --> 03:11:51.879
STI go floppy just because you're counting down. I could

1068
03:11:51.920 --> 03:11:55.639
try it again, but this time I go this lower.

1069
03:11:57.879 --> 03:12:04.680
This time, focus on the whole of your body before

1070
03:12:04.799 --> 03:12:11.760
we focus on your legs. Just notice how your body

1071
03:12:11.879 --> 03:12:26.840
does start to feel more relaxed with every number that

1072
03:12:26.959 --> 03:13:25.680
I count down ten nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three,

1073
03:13:39.159 --> 03:14:16.879
two one, And just notice how how you feel generally,

1074
03:14:17.319 --> 03:14:31.639
how your body feels. It's not necessarily even about counting

1075
03:14:31.760 --> 03:14:38.879
down from ten to one. It's that space that you have,

1076
03:14:40.200 --> 03:14:58.680
that space between being active physically or mentally to just

1077
03:15:03.399 --> 03:15:08.600
sitting or lying down and just being there, not doing anything,

1078
03:15:08.760 --> 03:15:15.399
not saying anything, not needing to think about anything. So

1079
03:15:16.079 --> 03:15:19.120
it opens up a space, you know, a bit of

1080
03:15:19.159 --> 03:15:30.159
a space, a gap. And the more I came down

1081
03:15:30.200 --> 03:15:37.559
from ten to one, the bigger that gap becomes. So

1082
03:15:37.719 --> 03:15:50.120
there's that gap of calmness, of comfort, relaxation. It's a

1083
03:15:50.239 --> 03:16:04.280
nice feeling, and it moves those stresses or discomforts physically

1084
03:16:04.479 --> 03:16:16.639
or emotionally, moves them away. Allows you.

1085
03:16:19.319 --> 03:16:19.840
To just.

1086
03:16:22.799 --> 03:16:29.559
Slow down, someone to count again from ten down to one,

1087
03:16:29.959 --> 03:16:40.200
and notice that gap widening, the gap, and as it widens,

1088
03:16:40.280 --> 03:16:46.319
it's almost like the stress and attention falls into the

1089
03:16:46.399 --> 03:17:04.239
gap and gives you that distance, that space.

1090
03:17:06.639 --> 03:17:12.079
Now ten.

1091
03:17:16.440 --> 03:17:56.479
Nine, eight, seven, six, five.

1092
03:18:07.280 --> 03:18:26.440
Four three.

1093
03:18:42.520 --> 03:19:32.319
Two one. Now, how does your body feel now? Can

1094
03:19:32.399 --> 03:19:47.440
you notice that? Do you feeling calmer, the feeling more

1095
03:19:47.879 --> 03:20:15.280
relaxed as we now focus on your legs, just your legs.

1096
03:20:31.280 --> 03:20:51.399
We're just gonna start with focusing on your thighs. Of course,

1097
03:20:51.520 --> 03:20:56.399
it's not the most exciting thing to be done, because

1098
03:20:59.760 --> 03:21:02.520
I'm sure, like most of your body, there's not a

1099
03:21:02.639 --> 03:21:15.040
lot going on right now. Just focusing on the whole

1100
03:21:15.159 --> 03:21:21.559
of your thighs, the tops of your thighs, the sides

1101
03:21:21.719 --> 03:21:28.680
of your thighs, the bottoms of your thighs, your outer thighs,

1102
03:21:28.799 --> 03:21:33.719
and your inner thighs. Basically the whole of your thigh

1103
03:21:33.840 --> 03:21:42.600
that leads into your hip and it goes down to

1104
03:21:42.799 --> 03:21:56.840
your knee joints. Now, this is a big area. It's

1105
03:21:56.879 --> 03:22:01.639
a very heavy area. It's a very strong Probably the

1106
03:22:01.760 --> 03:22:16.440
strongest muscles in your body are in your thighs. But

1107
03:22:16.479 --> 03:22:24.920
I don't think we perhaps give enough attention to our thighs.

1108
03:22:30.879 --> 03:22:41.600
Perhaps we don't acknowledge how important our thighs are to

1109
03:22:41.799 --> 03:23:02.399
our lives, how much they actually do for us all

1110
03:23:02.520 --> 03:23:12.280
through our lives. And it may see him to sound

1111
03:23:12.399 --> 03:23:18.000
really weird, but I think that all of our body parts,

1112
03:23:20.920 --> 03:23:29.200
especially our thighs, need some TLC, a bit of love, shone,

1113
03:23:30.200 --> 03:23:48.159
a bit of acknowledgement. I thank you gratitude for what

1114
03:23:48.280 --> 03:23:49.799
our thighs do for us.

1115
03:23:56.360 --> 03:23:59.159
And I know this may sound a strange.

1116
03:24:01.719 --> 03:24:04.799
Maybe you think, why am I Surely I should be

1117
03:24:04.879 --> 03:24:09.639
out in the garden hugging a tree or something. Well,

1118
03:24:13.799 --> 03:24:16.079
it's hard to set a microphone up on a tree.

1119
03:24:17.120 --> 03:24:19.319
That's why I'm doing this indoors. Otherwise I would be

1120
03:24:19.399 --> 03:24:23.120
outside hugging a tree. Now I can't see the television

1121
03:24:23.159 --> 03:24:31.799
from the tree. If you move down to your knees

1122
03:24:33.680 --> 03:24:41.600
getting such an important part, and I think we don't

1123
03:24:41.719 --> 03:24:49.559
necessarily I'll speak for myself here. I don't necessarily appreciate

1124
03:24:51.319 --> 03:24:56.399
all that my knees do for me until I have

1125
03:24:56.559 --> 03:25:00.200
a problem with my knee. It's occasionally if ivor yeah,

1126
03:25:01.520 --> 03:25:05.479
maybe i'll bash it, or it's aching for some reason.

1127
03:25:07.200 --> 03:25:13.399
It's then that I realize how much it does. You know,

1128
03:25:13.479 --> 03:25:19.440
the benefit of being able to use my legs without

1129
03:25:21.200 --> 03:25:28.440
any kind of physical discomfort is a beautiful thing that's

1130
03:25:28.680 --> 03:25:37.079
possibly not appreciated until it's temporarily removed. You know that's comfort.

1131
03:25:41.159 --> 03:25:45.799
But as you focus on your knees, regardless of how

1132
03:25:45.879 --> 03:25:53.360
your knees feel, you can have that sense of gratitude

1133
03:25:54.879 --> 03:25:57.479
and love to your knees for all that they do

1134
03:25:57.680 --> 03:26:10.680
for you. And you can still have that attention on

1135
03:26:10.840 --> 03:26:17.000
your thighs and maybe notice how your thighs feel. Maybe

1136
03:26:17.319 --> 03:26:18.719
you've noticed.

1137
03:26:18.440 --> 03:26:20.239
That they are.

1138
03:26:21.920 --> 03:26:38.280
Relaxing more deeply as you focus now on the bottoms

1139
03:26:38.319 --> 03:26:42.600
of your legs, your shins and your calf muscles and

1140
03:26:42.680 --> 03:26:50.360
the bones between your knees and your feet incorporate, and

1141
03:26:50.479 --> 03:27:02.799
of course your ankles so important. Anyone that's had even

1142
03:27:03.200 --> 03:27:09.840
like the slightest sprain of an ankle knows how how

1143
03:27:10.079 --> 03:27:20.200
much we take our ankles for granted. And it's kind

1144
03:27:20.239 --> 03:27:25.760
of strange in a way when you think that. You know, logically,

1145
03:27:26.079 --> 03:27:29.159
our wrists are a lot thinner than the rest of

1146
03:27:29.239 --> 03:27:33.920
our arms, which is okay, it doesn't I can't see

1147
03:27:33.920 --> 03:27:37.440
any problem with that because we're just picking stuff up.

1148
03:27:39.000 --> 03:27:44.639
But our ankles so much thinner than the rest of

1149
03:27:44.680 --> 03:27:55.559
our legs, and from a physics perspective or logical even

1150
03:27:55.639 --> 03:28:01.360
it doesn't really make sense that all this weight would

1151
03:28:01.440 --> 03:28:08.639
ultimately be resting on your ankles then leading to your feet,

1152
03:28:13.200 --> 03:28:21.639
that thin area, a thin bone. Yeah, it does so

1153
03:28:21.879 --> 03:28:29.200
much great work. Supports us, supports our body for a lifetime,

1154
03:28:33.959 --> 03:28:43.479
helps us to balance, It helps you to get around

1155
03:28:43.639 --> 03:28:52.559
and be mobile. And there's the calf muscles. Of course,

1156
03:28:57.680 --> 03:29:00.120
when I was younger, I couldn't see the point in

1157
03:29:00.239 --> 03:29:06.239
calf muscles. Didn't seem to do anything. Okay, if I

1158
03:29:06.280 --> 03:29:10.200
walked around on tiptoes, then my calf muscles get some work.

1159
03:29:11.600 --> 03:29:14.159
But of course that's not true. The calf muscles are

1160
03:29:14.239 --> 03:29:17.280
being used whenever we use.

1161
03:29:17.120 --> 03:29:17.959
Our legs.

1162
03:29:23.239 --> 03:29:35.840
And your shins there to protect your lower legs, shaped

1163
03:29:35.879 --> 03:29:40.600
in a way, almost as a protector for the bone,

1164
03:29:48.200 --> 03:30:00.120
leading of course to your ankles and your feet. But

1165
03:30:00.200 --> 03:30:02.079
we're not going to focus on your feet. We're just

1166
03:30:02.159 --> 03:30:08.600
going to focus on the legs. I realize that now

1167
03:30:08.680 --> 03:30:13.239
that I've mentioned your feet, it probably focuses on them anyway,

1168
03:30:13.799 --> 03:30:16.360
So maybe I should focus on your feet a little bit.

1169
03:30:20.399 --> 03:30:24.799
You can have them in your awareness the same as

1170
03:30:24.920 --> 03:30:29.239
you have your thighs in your awareness. Even though we

1171
03:30:29.399 --> 03:30:35.319
haven't been focusing on your thighs. A few minutes, we'll

1172
03:30:35.360 --> 03:30:46.239
be focusing on your ankles. There's still that sensation of

1173
03:30:49.479 --> 03:31:02.239
comfort in your thighs and this that movement of energy

1174
03:31:04.319 --> 03:31:11.319
because the thighs hold lots of different sensations. Of course,

1175
03:31:11.399 --> 03:31:16.159
there's the muscles, the big straw muscles that we have

1176
03:31:16.360 --> 03:31:29.680
in our thighs. But the skin on the outside of

1177
03:31:29.799 --> 03:31:35.079
the thighs, as in the outside of all of our body,

1178
03:31:35.879 --> 03:31:47.479
can be very sensitive, sensitive to the touch, sensitive to temperature,

1179
03:31:54.040 --> 03:32:01.559
and inside your thighs the bones, there's the muscle, there's

1180
03:32:01.639 --> 03:32:06.399
the blood, vessels, the ar trees, it's all this stuff

1181
03:32:06.559 --> 03:32:15.239
that's inside your thighs. And I guess sometimes it'd be

1182
03:32:15.360 --> 03:32:19.479
nice if you could actually put your fingers inside your

1183
03:32:19.559 --> 03:32:25.760
thighs and a message, so you can message on the outside,

1184
03:32:26.040 --> 03:32:28.920
of course, but to be able to get deep into

1185
03:32:29.000 --> 03:32:33.799
the muscles, and to be able to just massage inside

1186
03:32:33.879 --> 03:32:40.879
your thighs, message in the bones of your leg, massage

1187
03:32:40.959 --> 03:32:50.200
in all the veins and just gently heaving your thighs,

1188
03:32:54.120 --> 03:32:59.319
and you could move down message and inside your knees,

1189
03:33:00.840 --> 03:33:07.639
just message in those bones. But with healing fingertips, spreading

1190
03:33:07.719 --> 03:33:13.479
that healing energy deep into the joints of your knees.

1191
03:33:18.879 --> 03:33:22.600
Of course, there's the back of your knee, you know,

1192
03:33:22.719 --> 03:33:28.719
the inside crease where your knee is. It's a very

1193
03:33:28.920 --> 03:33:34.799
sensitive area. Very it feels very nice when you stroke it.

1194
03:33:36.200 --> 03:33:39.559
That might be because it's an area that's not really

1195
03:33:39.760 --> 03:33:46.239
touched very often. It's almost like a hidden part, that

1196
03:33:46.559 --> 03:33:53.280
crease in your legs. It's almost it's like a part

1197
03:33:53.440 --> 03:33:58.280
that has a sensitivity which is a little bit different.

1198
03:34:06.120 --> 03:34:16.040
Of course, it's protected by your legs. So you can

1199
03:34:16.120 --> 03:34:21.440
imagine putting your fingers into that crease in your legs,

1200
03:34:26.840 --> 03:34:30.760
that fold in between your legs. You can just message

1201
03:34:30.799 --> 03:34:37.879
with your fingertips. Imagine your fingertips going inside message in

1202
03:34:38.040 --> 03:34:47.520
the muscle tissue. You can of course feel the bones

1203
03:34:48.000 --> 03:34:59.879
of your knees heading through your fingertips. And then if

1204
03:34:59.879 --> 03:35:05.639
you go down to your calf muscles, now that's the

1205
03:35:05.719 --> 03:35:09.200
part I'd like to be able to really put my

1206
03:35:09.360 --> 03:35:18.159
fingertips deep inside my calf muscles, massage in every single

1207
03:35:19.159 --> 03:35:30.799
tissue of that muscle, healing every part, and then doing

1208
03:35:30.879 --> 03:35:39.159
the same for my shins. Massage in gently stroking the bones,

1209
03:35:40.959 --> 03:35:46.639
gently stroking them, healing in a loving way. Because they

1210
03:35:46.760 --> 03:35:53.120
deserve to be treated as the precious bones that they are,

1211
03:35:54.479 --> 03:35:57.719
because our legs are so precious as in all the

1212
03:35:57.799 --> 03:36:03.159
other parts of our body, and more precious of any

1213
03:36:03.280 --> 03:36:18.600
jure on the planet. When you start to think about

1214
03:36:22.000 --> 03:36:30.840
your legs in this way, it can change your perspective.

1215
03:36:33.559 --> 03:36:39.319
It might sound a bit a bit silly to start

1216
03:36:39.399 --> 03:36:46.159
with the idea of having love for your legs, showing

1217
03:36:46.239 --> 03:36:54.440
appreciation for your thighs, wanting to be able to put

1218
03:36:54.479 --> 03:37:03.040
your hands in your thighs, massag the muscles and the bones,

1219
03:37:04.920 --> 03:37:10.639
and to get your fingers deep in there, releasing all tension,

1220
03:37:13.520 --> 03:37:22.120
just to show how much you care about your legs,

1221
03:37:23.000 --> 03:37:26.760
how much you care for what your legs do for

1222
03:37:26.920 --> 03:37:40.520
you regularly, your knees, your calves, your ankles. The strength

1223
03:37:40.680 --> 03:37:48.719
of your ankles, considering how thin they are compared to

1224
03:37:48.840 --> 03:37:55.559
the rest of your legs, especially your thighs. Yeah, they're

1225
03:37:55.680 --> 03:38:05.319
so strong, so flexible, absolutely amazing things.

1226
03:38:06.600 --> 03:38:08.120
Your ankles are.

1227
03:38:11.799 --> 03:38:16.879
Truly a gift because of what they do for you,

1228
03:38:22.360 --> 03:38:29.319
supporting all that weight, regardless of how what weight you are,

1229
03:38:30.479 --> 03:38:35.280
even if you're only eight stone, there's still a lot

1230
03:38:35.319 --> 03:38:42.000
of weight for these little ankles. Now I'm a lot

1231
03:38:42.239 --> 03:38:52.159
heavier than eight stone double down. Yet my ankles support

1232
03:38:52.239 --> 03:38:59.600
my body all the time. Whetheugh they do give off

1233
03:38:59.639 --> 03:39:05.079
a SIGHTE have relief when I sit down, that's have

1234
03:39:05.239 --> 03:39:14.280
my whole legs do. My feet feet also go, My

1235
03:39:14.399 --> 03:39:41.959
toes clap, they're so happy. Your legs really are amazing.

1236
03:39:44.559 --> 03:39:47.799
And I don't know that talking about talking about your

1237
03:39:47.879 --> 03:39:54.760
legs is probably possibly among the most most boring things

1238
03:39:54.799 --> 03:40:02.000
you've ever heard anyone say. Possibly you're bory or not.

1239
03:40:03.600 --> 03:40:19.079
Everything I said is true. Your legs are amazing. Your

1240
03:40:19.200 --> 03:40:31.760
legs deserve not just respect, they deserve to relax deeply.

1241
03:40:39.079 --> 03:40:42.399
They deserve to take some time out of the day

1242
03:40:44.639 --> 03:41:13.360
to just let go completely. The legs really can relax.

1243
03:41:21.000 --> 03:41:25.079
And because the legs are so such a most you know,

1244
03:41:25.360 --> 03:41:31.280
very important part of your body. When you relax your legs,

1245
03:41:31.360 --> 03:41:38.600
the rest of your body also naturally follows in that

1246
03:41:42.360 --> 03:41:53.159
journey of comfort. I can feel it in my hips.

1247
03:41:54.559 --> 03:42:01.680
My hips feel really loose, and also my ler back

1248
03:42:01.760 --> 03:42:08.360
as well. My lower back really feels it feels stretched,

1249
03:42:09.479 --> 03:42:12.520
even though I'm just sitting in a chair and there's

1250
03:42:12.639 --> 03:42:17.879
no stretching as far as I'm aware that I'm doing.

1251
03:42:18.840 --> 03:42:21.440
But it's almost as if the muscles are just relaxed

1252
03:42:21.479 --> 03:42:27.079
so much that there is a natural stretch as the

1253
03:42:27.239 --> 03:42:49.520
tension has reduced a lot. And I'm now going to

1254
03:42:49.600 --> 03:42:57.040
count down from ten down to one and you can

1255
03:42:57.159 --> 03:43:26.239
continue to yah, wonderfully relaxed. Ten nine, eight, seven, six, five.

1256
03:43:30.559 --> 03:43:34.719
Four three.

1257
03:43:38.559 --> 03:43:59.280
Two one relax. So I'm just going to count down

1258
03:44:00.840 --> 03:44:05.520
and fire down to one. And as a countdown, if

1259
03:44:05.520 --> 03:44:12.600
you just focus on the numbers, just the numbers counting down,

1260
03:44:13.680 --> 03:44:22.799
and notice how you feel in this moment as you

1261
03:44:22.959 --> 03:44:30.479
hear the numbers counting down, knowing that those numbers counting

1262
03:44:30.559 --> 03:44:40.719
down represent you feeling calmer, not just in your body,

1263
03:44:40.879 --> 03:44:49.239
but also relaxing your mind. Just notice how you feel.

1264
03:44:50.120 --> 03:44:56.040
There's nothing to do, there's nothing to say, there's nothing

1265
03:44:56.159 --> 03:45:48.760
to think about, starting with number five four three two one. Now,

1266
03:45:48.840 --> 03:46:01.360
as you notice the gradual letting go the tension in

1267
03:46:01.479 --> 03:46:08.639
your body, you may also begin to notice and be

1268
03:46:08.799 --> 03:46:17.600
aware of how your mind is starting to slow down.

1269
03:46:20.120 --> 03:46:26.440
This is just a natural thing that happens. It's not

1270
03:46:26.680 --> 03:46:31.840
really a special procedure. It's just natural because as your

1271
03:46:33.159 --> 03:46:39.120
body relaxes, your mind also starts to relax. And the

1272
03:46:39.239 --> 03:46:42.879
more your mind relaxes, the more your body relaxes. It's

1273
03:46:43.040 --> 03:46:53.200
just a continuous circle of relaxation, and there is that

1274
03:46:54.479 --> 03:47:02.360
calmness that comes from relative quietness. You know, even even

1275
03:47:02.399 --> 03:47:09.360
if there's background sounds either your side, online, it's still

1276
03:47:09.879 --> 03:47:15.120
going to be quite calm. You know, you haven't got

1277
03:47:15.200 --> 03:47:20.360
the television on, there's no music in the background unless

1278
03:47:20.360 --> 03:47:27.799
you're listening to the recording. With music, of course, you're

1279
03:47:27.959 --> 03:47:30.079
very likely not going to be sitting in a room

1280
03:47:30.159 --> 03:47:34.719
with other people. Of course you might be, but generally

1281
03:47:34.879 --> 03:47:38.000
it's more ideal if you can do this on your own,

1282
03:47:39.719 --> 03:47:49.760
so no distractions, and when you stop thinking about stuff,

1283
03:47:56.360 --> 03:48:06.639
relaxation automatic rises. A sense of comfort starts to grow,

1284
03:48:11.159 --> 03:48:17.840
and without trying to build it up into something fantastical

1285
03:48:18.239 --> 03:48:29.959
or something magical, this is just a natural process, something

1286
03:48:30.120 --> 03:48:40.479
that's easy to accomplish. In fact, it's almost know. The

1287
03:48:40.799 --> 03:48:47.479
sense of relaxing completely happens really when you put no

1288
03:48:47.680 --> 03:48:52.239
effort into it. It's not something that you can really force.

1289
03:48:54.879 --> 03:49:04.239
It's something that happens naturally. And part of the process

1290
03:49:04.680 --> 03:49:15.840
of this recording and others is simply to allow you

1291
03:49:18.239 --> 03:49:29.079
to take advantage of this space, this time, to just

1292
03:49:33.280 --> 03:49:40.840
let go, to just be here, to be in tune

1293
03:49:44.520 --> 03:49:56.639
with how you feel, yet with the intention of wanting

1294
03:49:56.920 --> 03:50:09.000
to relax deeply and maybe even to fall asleep, depending

1295
03:50:09.239 --> 03:50:14.159
on what it is that you wish for yourself.

1296
03:50:15.399 --> 03:50:16.200
In this moment.

1297
03:50:23.200 --> 03:50:32.559
As we know, relaxing is the majority of the process

1298
03:50:32.680 --> 03:50:37.840
of falling asleep. The actual falling asleep part is the

1299
03:50:38.000 --> 03:50:45.760
tiny bit at the end. The deeper relaxed you become,

1300
03:50:49.719 --> 03:50:51.120
the easier.

1301
03:50:53.680 --> 03:50:54.600
You find.

1302
03:50:55.840 --> 03:51:11.920
Yourself drifting. You can also, if you choose, stay focused

1303
03:51:13.040 --> 03:51:37.000
on my voice and really enjoy the process, gradually relaxing

1304
03:51:41.319 --> 03:52:07.799
each muscle in your body effortlessly and just observing the

1305
03:52:07.959 --> 03:52:29.200
sensation of letting go completely. This time, I an a

1306
03:52:29.319 --> 03:52:38.159
count from six down to one, and you can notice

1307
03:52:39.520 --> 03:52:49.719
your mind calming down more with each number that you

1308
03:52:50.040 --> 03:55:38.840
hear me say naturally, feeling can't arm and slow peaceful six, five, four, three, two, one,

1309
03:56:00.079 --> 03:56:09.559
being aware of how your mind has slowed right down,

1310
03:56:12.840 --> 03:56:36.239
sinking deeply into relaxation. And as you focus on your mind,

1311
03:56:36.520 --> 03:56:46.479
you may notice that there are some thoughts still there,

1312
03:56:49.079 --> 03:56:58.600
maybe some stubborn thoughts that for some reason perhaps need

1313
03:56:58.680 --> 03:57:13.879
your attention. So what you can do is send love

1314
03:57:14.120 --> 03:57:27.760
to those thoughts. Sprinkle those thoughts with love, like all

1315
03:57:27.920 --> 03:57:33.520
petals from a flower. Just sprinkle it over them, petals

1316
03:57:33.600 --> 03:57:40.799
filled with love towards those thoughts, to let those thoughts

1317
03:57:41.040 --> 03:57:47.840
know that you're not abandon in them. You just need them.

1318
03:57:49.079 --> 03:57:57.600
You require them to just calm down. Slow down.

1319
03:58:00.079 --> 03:58:01.000
That down.

1320
03:58:04.680 --> 03:58:16.479
For now, so as you focus on those remaining thoughts.

1321
03:58:17.719 --> 03:58:21.799
As we count down this time from seven down to one.

1322
03:58:23.360 --> 03:58:37.440
With each number, just imagine sprinkling those flower petals of love, kindness,

1323
03:58:39.040 --> 03:58:50.879
gratitude over those thoughts, which will allow them to just

1324
03:58:52.319 --> 03:59:08.079
melt away and relax deeply renumber They thoughts would become

1325
03:59:08.319 --> 04:00:42.280
more and more relaxed starting with number seven, six, five, four, three,

1326
04:01:14.920 --> 04:02:04.360
two one nothing. Now, notice how relaxed you're feeling.

1327
04:02:07.680 --> 04:02:08.479
In your body.

1328
04:02:16.840 --> 04:02:30.079
We're going to focus on your hands, because the more

1329
04:02:30.200 --> 04:02:37.239
relaxed your hands are, the more relaxed your body and

1330
04:02:37.520 --> 04:02:38.120
mind are.

1331
04:02:53.040 --> 04:02:53.360
And this.

1332
04:02:55.200 --> 04:03:05.360
You focus on your hands and your fingers. There's nothing

1333
04:03:05.879 --> 04:03:07.040
needed to be done.

1334
04:03:08.000 --> 04:03:13.079
There's no clenching of fists or dents in the fingers

1335
04:03:13.239 --> 04:03:14.000
or anything like that.

1336
04:03:21.479 --> 04:03:35.719
It's just noticing and focusing on your hands, noticing how

1337
04:03:35.799 --> 04:03:56.959
they feel. Because the more relaxed do your hands feel,

1338
04:04:00.440 --> 04:04:09.600
the calmer your mind feels, and the more comfort you

1339
04:04:09.840 --> 04:04:33.079
feel throughout your body, and you may have already noticed

1340
04:04:37.399 --> 04:05:12.520
your mind is starting to dress like since just on

1341
04:05:12.680 --> 04:05:21.600
your hands and fingers, allowing.

1342
04:05:21.600 --> 04:05:22.959
Them to.

1343
04:05:25.399 --> 04:05:36.879
Experience a real deepening of that relaxation in your hands

1344
04:05:37.000 --> 04:06:03.040
and fingers, more and more relaxed. With each number from

1345
04:06:03.239 --> 04:06:16.559
eight down to one, E can almost feel that healing

1346
04:06:18.040 --> 04:06:30.520
and relaxing energy spreading into your hands and fingers, becoming.

1347
04:06:34.399 --> 04:06:36.079
Year war.

1348
04:06:37.920 --> 04:06:43.799
Relaxing with each number.

1349
04:06:45.840 --> 04:06:51.520
You hear, going down.

1350
04:06:52.760 --> 04:07:11.520
From eight down to one, drifting, drifting again starting with

1351
04:07:16.120 --> 04:08:31.760
number eight, seven, six.

1352
04:09:06.360 --> 04:11:12.079
Five, four, three, just being.

1353
04:11:12.159 --> 04:11:22.479
Here now, nothing to think about, nothing to do, nothing

1354
04:11:22.600 --> 04:11:36.399
to say, and everything just feels calmer. And this is

1355
04:11:37.520 --> 04:11:44.280
your natural state of being. This is how you just

1356
04:11:45.399 --> 04:11:51.920
normally feel when you take away all that other stuff

1357
04:11:54.319 --> 04:11:59.200
that we add, you know, things like stress and worrying

1358
04:11:59.399 --> 04:12:14.879
and overthinking, the anxiety, tension, just generally thinking about stuff.

1359
04:12:17.079 --> 04:12:21.000
You take that away, which is what we do. What

1360
04:12:21.159 --> 04:12:22.040
we do now.

1361
04:12:28.280 --> 04:12:39.520
You're left with a real sense of peacefulness which comes

1362
04:12:39.680 --> 04:12:49.000
to you very quickly, because ultimately it's just a feeling,

1363
04:12:53.399 --> 04:13:01.200
a feeling of comfort, or most is, if you've gone

1364
04:13:01.239 --> 04:13:09.719
inside yourself and you've found a special place where everything

1365
04:13:13.079 --> 04:13:21.360
is peaceful, a place where you can feel relaxed and

1366
04:13:21.559 --> 04:13:30.319
your natural sense of comfort, a place where you can

1367
04:13:30.440 --> 04:13:39.920
be you, where you can accept yourself for who you are,

1368
04:13:42.479 --> 04:13:49.159
the place where you're not trying to please anybody else ever,

1369
04:13:53.159 --> 04:14:01.719
a place where you can actually not just love yourself,

1370
04:14:01.840 --> 04:14:07.760
but in some ways more importantly, you can like yourself.

1371
04:14:09.799 --> 04:14:27.079
Appreciate who you are. That sense of gratitude is in

1372
04:14:27.200 --> 04:14:36.760
the air all around you, and that's.

1373
04:14:36.639 --> 04:14:45.000
Also a place where you can actually feel the healing

1374
04:14:45.559 --> 04:15:00.440
energy soaking into your body. Healing energy soaking into your body,

1375
04:15:05.399 --> 04:15:14.360
and that healing energy spreads through your veins, traveling to

1376
04:15:14.680 --> 04:15:26.680
each and every single part of your body, and you

1377
04:15:26.840 --> 04:15:33.799
start to realize that actually that healing energy, it's not

1378
04:15:34.120 --> 04:15:41.559
just entered into your brain, it's become part of your brain,

1379
04:15:46.520 --> 04:15:53.159
and the spinal fluid is now mixed with healing energy,

1380
04:15:58.399 --> 04:16:04.639
not just allowing you to feel so much more relaxed

1381
04:16:06.719 --> 04:16:18.719
and healthy in this moment, but also you start to

1382
04:16:18.879 --> 04:16:28.239
realize to actually, what's happening now with that healing, relaxing

1383
04:16:29.399 --> 04:16:37.239
energy spreading through your body is actually changing your life.

1384
04:16:42.399 --> 04:16:47.520
It's actually changing the way you're going to feel not

1385
04:16:47.799 --> 04:16:55.159
just now but tomorrow, and the next day. As your

1386
04:16:55.319 --> 04:17:03.360
health improves, not just your physical health but your mental health,

1387
04:17:07.319 --> 04:17:12.479
things that used to bother you in the past, for

1388
04:17:12.680 --> 04:17:18.719
some reason, no longer have the effect that they used

1389
04:17:18.760 --> 04:17:33.040
to because something has changed deep within you. Maybe things

1390
04:17:33.319 --> 04:17:43.000
that used to cause you to feel anger no longer

1391
04:17:43.360 --> 04:17:53.000
have that power to control you the way they seem

1392
04:17:53.159 --> 04:18:01.520
to be able to before. As you really lies that

1393
04:18:01.719 --> 04:18:14.440
you're the one who decides what affects you. You're the

1394
04:18:14.600 --> 04:18:25.239
one who decides to feel relaxed and calm when you

1395
04:18:25.559 --> 04:18:43.520
choose to enjoy noticing these natural developments of healing continuing

1396
04:18:43.920 --> 04:18:57.840
to grow and improve your life day by day, including

1397
04:18:57.959 --> 04:19:10.399
of course, your ability to relax so much easier and

1398
04:19:10.799 --> 04:19:19.920
sleep in. It's the most natural thing in the world

1399
04:19:21.399 --> 04:19:28.920
to you, because falling asleep is something that.

1400
04:19:29.079 --> 04:19:29.959
You've done.

1401
04:19:32.760 --> 04:19:34.399
So many times.

1402
04:19:35.680 --> 04:19:41.319
In your life, and you know that you were born,

1403
04:19:42.840 --> 04:19:43.559
as we all.

1404
04:19:43.479 --> 04:19:53.959
Were, with the ability to fall asleep naturally. You were

1405
04:19:54.079 --> 04:20:06.200
born with that ability to just drift off into a deep,

1406
04:20:07.479 --> 04:20:19.280
healing sleep. Even when we're kids, sometimes we'll fall asleep

1407
04:20:19.319 --> 04:20:23.280
when we don't even want to try to take a

1408
04:20:23.479 --> 04:20:27.840
stay awake. Maybe it's a birthday in the morning, or

1409
04:20:27.920 --> 04:20:32.120
it's Christmas or holiday or something we look forward to.

1410
04:20:32.719 --> 04:20:36.760
We don't want to go to sleep, but the more

1411
04:20:37.319 --> 04:20:42.200
we want to stay awake, the more we just start

1412
04:20:42.319 --> 04:20:50.639
to drift. And the more you fight drifting, the more

1413
04:20:50.680 --> 04:20:53.200
you try to stop yourself and drift in a safe

1414
04:20:55.360 --> 04:21:06.440
the deeper and stronger that drifting becomes. Because we're born

1415
04:21:07.399 --> 04:21:13.239
not just with the need to relax deeply and to

1416
04:21:13.440 --> 04:21:23.239
naturally fall asleep, but it's our birthright, it's part of

1417
04:21:23.360 --> 04:21:34.000
our DNA. And sometimes as we get older in life,

1418
04:21:35.360 --> 04:21:48.920
perhaps at times we have forgotten that relaxing completely is

1419
04:21:49.040 --> 04:22:02.120
not only a wonderfully pleasant experience, it's also really easy.

1420
04:22:13.479 --> 04:22:20.920
It's very, very easy to let go, because.

1421
04:22:20.600 --> 04:22:22.000
That's all it is. It's just.

1422
04:22:25.520 --> 04:22:36.959
Deciding to let go. And when you press the play

1423
04:22:37.040 --> 04:22:47.280
button on my recordings, you have given permission for my

1424
04:22:47.559 --> 04:22:55.639
voice to relax you. When you press that play button,

1425
04:22:56.639 --> 04:23:05.079
you have given me permission for my words to effect

1426
04:23:07.600 --> 04:23:19.520
you in a positive, only a positive way. Opening up.

1427
04:23:24.639 --> 04:23:25.559
Your mind.

1428
04:23:27.040 --> 04:23:31.959
Two useful.

1429
04:23:33.079 --> 04:23:35.600
And healing.

1430
04:23:36.760 --> 04:23:52.799
Suggestions that can have such an amazing effect on how

1431
04:23:52.959 --> 04:24:05.040
you feel right now, as out as those changes that

1432
04:24:05.360 --> 04:24:15.360
continue long after the recording ends, those changes within you

1433
04:24:18.239 --> 04:24:30.920
to continue to flourish and grow transforming your life in

1434
04:24:31.479 --> 04:24:43.479
a positive, beautiful way, allowing you to move forward in

1435
04:24:43.600 --> 04:24:50.120
your life in the direction that you choose for yourself.

1436
04:24:59.239 --> 04:25:11.200
And this, this feeling that you can experience of safety, comfort, calmness,

1437
04:25:19.000 --> 04:25:32.959
This feels so nice. It's such a healthy place to be,

1438
04:25:40.879 --> 04:25:54.639
and that positivity grows within you each and every day.

1439
04:25:57.719 --> 04:26:07.479
Moving forward, you're going to find that you're more relaxed

1440
04:26:09.840 --> 04:26:18.040
physically and in your mind is more relaxed.

1441
04:26:21.879 --> 04:26:23.040
And it's not that you're.

1442
04:26:23.040 --> 04:26:28.719
Thinking slower, it's just that your mind would be less

1443
04:26:29.520 --> 04:26:41.079
clogged up with unnecessary negativity because from now on, your

1444
04:26:41.280 --> 04:26:51.000
mind rejects negativity. From now on, you're going to start

1445
04:26:51.280 --> 04:27:07.600
noticing when negativity arises and you can just say stop, stop,

1446
04:27:10.440 --> 04:27:17.200
and that negativity will turn around and leave you alone.

1447
04:27:25.200 --> 04:27:35.159
Stop and that negativity will disappear.

1448
04:27:43.319 --> 04:27:49.760
And as you notice that you feel way more relaxed

1449
04:27:51.200 --> 04:27:59.920
than you probably expected, you can.

1450
04:28:00.120 --> 04:28:09.639
Now congratulate yourself because you're the person that has done this.

1451
04:28:11.399 --> 04:28:16.879
You are the one that has opened your mind up

1452
04:28:17.559 --> 04:28:25.760
to the simple facts. You can feel more relaxed in

1453
04:28:25.879 --> 04:28:36.159
your body and in your mind. You've opened your mind.

1454
04:28:36.040 --> 04:28:36.479
Up to.

1455
04:28:38.799 --> 04:28:45.360
The birthright of being able to just fall asleep easily

1456
04:28:46.399 --> 04:29:00.440
when you choose, And that's a nice feeling. Don't you

1457
04:29:00.520 --> 04:29:12.079
think it feels nice? Doesn't it? To feel calm? All

1458
04:29:12.159 --> 04:29:16.760
that healing energy is spreading through your body and your

1459
04:29:16.879 --> 04:29:34.280
mind to spend time a special place where negativity can

1460
04:29:34.440 --> 04:29:47.760
no longer enter. Negativity is banned. It's bad, it's not allowed.

1461
04:29:47.879 --> 04:29:54.280
Intrigue doesn't it doesn't. This doesn't deserve to be here,

1462
04:29:54.760 --> 04:30:03.760
doesn't belong here. Nativity has no place in your life,

1463
04:30:13.760 --> 04:30:23.239
which makes room from more comfort, more healing, more relaxation,

1464
04:30:28.079 --> 04:30:47.239
more peace. It feels nice, doesn't it?

1465
04:30:49.120 --> 04:30:53.280
Just let go.

1466
04:30:56.959 --> 04:31:15.639
Everything. I'm gonna count down now from twenty down to one.

1467
04:31:19.040 --> 04:31:25.559
He can continue to relax. If you choose, you can

1468
04:31:28.719 --> 04:31:39.239
drea to sleep. With every number you hear me say,

1469
04:31:43.559 --> 04:31:50.879
you can feel twice as relaxed, or if you choose,

1470
04:31:51.079 --> 04:32:58.840
you can feel twice as sleeping now twenty ninety, eighteen, seventeen, sixteen, fifteen, fourteen,

1471
04:33:07.919 --> 04:34:06.880
ten to well eleven, ten, nine, eight, seven, six.

1472
04:34:14.880 --> 04:34:22.479
Five war.

1473
04:34:55.759 --> 04:34:57.200
It is your time.

1474
04:35:00.200 --> 04:35:00.759
Take a break.

1475
04:35:05.400 --> 04:35:16.439
You're time to relax, to allow your mind to slow down,

1476
04:35:25.159 --> 04:35:27.599
to give yourself a permission.

1477
04:35:31.840 --> 04:35:39.200
To take a break from everything.

1478
04:35:43.919 --> 04:35:47.040
And you're the only person that can.

1479
04:35:47.080 --> 04:35:52.000
Make that decision. You're the only.

1480
04:35:51.919 --> 04:35:54.279
Person who can actually tell your mind.

1481
04:35:58.799 --> 04:36:13.599
To just relax, to just take some time.

1482
04:36:15.279 --> 04:36:27.080
Off so that you can focus on your body, getting

1483
04:36:27.080 --> 04:36:41.840
in touch with how you feel physically. And in the

1484
04:36:42.000 --> 04:36:50.080
process of this body scan, where you focus on different

1485
04:36:50.159 --> 04:36:59.919
parts of your body, those parts that you focus on

1486
04:37:00.759 --> 04:37:12.159
and observe, even though you're not purposely requesting for those

1487
04:37:12.360 --> 04:37:17.959
parts of your body to relax, it's kind of expected.

1488
04:37:19.560 --> 04:37:24.680
You expect when you listen to my voice to the

1489
04:37:24.799 --> 04:37:36.560
feel more relaxed naturally, because when you're listening to me,

1490
04:37:39.680 --> 04:37:51.479
your attention is focused on my words, and as my

1491
04:37:51.720 --> 04:38:03.279
words guide you to focus on those parts of your body,

1492
04:38:07.080 --> 04:38:20.880
your focus increases, which actually calms your mind.

1493
04:38:28.880 --> 04:38:38.040
And when you wind calms down, your body.

1494
04:38:39.799 --> 04:38:40.479
Relaxes.

1495
04:38:47.959 --> 04:38:49.319
And when your body.

1496
04:38:52.680 --> 04:39:00.000
Calms down, your mind.

1497
04:39:01.720 --> 04:39:16.240
Relaxes and he and those have not really started to

1498
04:39:16.400 --> 04:39:23.400
focus on your body, you can already.

1499
04:39:24.479 --> 04:39:38.159
Feel that healing energy spreading through your body, pushing out.

1500
04:39:41.439 --> 04:39:44.159
Stress at tension.

1501
04:39:47.959 --> 04:39:48.759
Heathing.

1502
04:39:50.360 --> 04:39:54.799
All the parts of your body, bleeding, your.

1503
04:39:54.880 --> 04:40:02.759
Skin, your bones, your blood, all of your organs inside

1504
04:40:02.799 --> 04:40:08.240
your body, all of the muscles, all of the fact.

1505
04:40:09.880 --> 04:40:15.279
Of everything, every hair on your body.

1506
04:40:17.200 --> 04:40:28.840
Is filled with bad healthing energy and when your brain.

1507
04:40:33.200 --> 04:40:52.080
Fills with bad healing energy, the feeding of comfort, relaxation increases,

1508
04:40:59.479 --> 04:41:01.319
deep increases.

1509
04:41:07.560 --> 04:41:17.959
There's no way your mind starts to feel.

1510
04:41:20.880 --> 04:41:33.200
Perhaps it to rousing because it's not needed, and.

1511
04:41:33.360 --> 04:41:35.200
It may start.

1512
04:41:38.080 --> 04:41:54.159
To dread if that's what's needed. So you're listening to this,

1513
04:41:56.279 --> 04:42:00.479
and what you need is deep renaxation, that's you get.

1514
04:42:02.680 --> 04:42:04.200
If what you need is.

1515
04:42:05.880 --> 04:42:15.840
To fall asleep naturally easily, that your mind drifts, that's.

1516
04:42:15.840 --> 04:42:18.200
Also or whatever.

1517
04:42:24.080 --> 04:42:24.799
Accuse my.

1518
04:42:27.720 --> 04:42:32.919
Listen that play button on the podcast and listening to me,

1519
04:42:34.200 --> 04:42:36.119
I give permission.

1520
04:42:37.439 --> 04:42:39.439
And your body and your mind.

1521
04:42:42.159 --> 04:42:51.439
In fact, give the command to your body in your

1522
04:42:51.599 --> 04:43:03.040
mind to rerect deeply and to drift had to sleep

1523
04:43:04.360 --> 04:43:07.520
if that's what he wants.

1524
04:43:10.439 --> 04:43:10.759
Want.

1525
04:43:18.680 --> 04:43:23.439
And as I put this on the two parts of

1526
04:43:23.680 --> 04:43:37.680
your body, you may start to just drift. And then

1527
04:43:37.759 --> 04:43:43.680
you come back again and me talking and focusing on

1528
04:43:43.799 --> 04:43:54.720
the different parts of your body, you may find just

1529
04:43:55.000 --> 04:44:03.080
so drifting pet and Rea as you drift him until

1530
04:44:03.119 --> 04:44:11.560
you stop drifting to alert again to my voice, focus

1531
04:44:11.680 --> 04:44:16.959
in what a different part of your body starts to

1532
04:44:17.119 --> 04:44:27.959
relax in deever, because that drifted, it's basically you already

1533
04:44:30.279 --> 04:44:40.119
in the sleep side and the more you drift, the

1534
04:44:40.319 --> 04:44:50.720
longer you drift, the longer you dreft. Eventually that drifting

1535
04:44:51.000 --> 04:45:02.799
continues into sleep, and that's the last you number until

1536
04:45:02.840 --> 04:45:11.880
you wake up in your own time. When you experienced

1537
04:45:12.119 --> 04:45:13.759
the fire amount of sleep?

1538
04:45:14.639 --> 04:45:19.880
Do you give when you did?

1539
04:45:21.680 --> 04:45:32.680
And if you do fall asleep? So pleasant, so relaxing,

1540
04:45:35.720 --> 04:45:55.919
so deep. Yeah, sleep, it was so nice to relax

1541
04:45:56.200 --> 04:45:59.680
into the one body in my.

1542
04:46:05.240 --> 04:46:05.439
Do you.

1543
04:46:07.639 --> 04:46:12.479
Make springles?

1544
04:46:13.200 --> 04:46:13.880
So deep?

1545
04:46:19.639 --> 04:46:20.279
RELs?

1546
04:46:21.479 --> 04:46:24.599
So deep?

1547
04:46:34.319 --> 04:46:38.919
Smart? To focus on your eyes.

1548
04:46:47.040 --> 04:46:59.040
Now to you now?

1549
04:47:08.319 --> 04:47:33.119
Sure he is?

1550
04:47:41.040 --> 04:48:30.040
Yes? Why you you make you think?

1551
04:48:38.959 --> 04:48:39.959
You don't.

1552
04:49:02.119 --> 04:49:08.439
Side your body?

1553
04:49:10.959 --> 04:49:11.360
You are?

1554
04:49:14.240 --> 04:49:19.040
Now let's make this again.

1555
04:49:21.279 --> 04:49:22.799
What parts of your body.

1556
04:49:27.279 --> 04:49:27.479
Hot?

1557
04:49:27.520 --> 04:49:29.360
You spend this time on your forehead?

1558
04:49:35.880 --> 04:49:36.040
Now?

1559
04:49:38.560 --> 04:49:45.639
Yes? Good time? Hold you now?

1560
04:49:58.040 --> 04:49:58.680
Don't you say?

1561
04:50:00.040 --> 04:50:12.799
Are your fingers open? You think it's hops? Focus on

1562
04:50:13.040 --> 04:50:22.279
each one in the future, my hands.

1563
04:50:26.360 --> 04:50:26.599
Even?

1564
04:50:26.720 --> 04:50:29.240
Do you focus on both of your hands?

1565
04:50:30.119 --> 04:50:30.360
Well?

1566
04:50:32.040 --> 04:50:40.919
You know, seems just not it's worth if your life

1567
04:50:41.000 --> 04:50:52.560
had starting hands is it's on a stick out?

1568
04:50:58.040 --> 04:50:58.200
Now?

1569
04:50:58.439 --> 04:51:31.759
Focus on what you means steps he still opens baks?

1570
04:51:32.520 --> 04:52:29.279
What step still see to see? What s? What? What

1571
04:52:29.560 --> 04:53:25.360
didn't you did? It's kiss and see things