April 28, 2025

(no music) (5 hours) Monday’s Boring Objects | LMBYTS #1340 | 28th April 2025

(no music) (5 hours) Monday’s Boring Objects | LMBYTS #1340 | 28th April 2025
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WEBVTT

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Hello, Hello, and welcome to Jasonnewland dot com. My name's

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Jason Newland and welcome to let Me boil you to sleep.

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This is Monday's Boring Objects and today it's Monday, the

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twenty eighth of April twenty twenty five. And I'll tell

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you what right, it's eleven twenty I don't know why.

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I mean, I haven't made a recording since the last

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recording I did was Friday. I think I can't remember.

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Do you do? I bought a dudd let me Boil

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your pain away recording in on Saturday. Possibly, Yeah, I

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did yad did so, I did Q and A Friday Friday.

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H that's weird, but yeah, so, but you know what,

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it's eleven eleven. At what time did it say it was?

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It's eleven twenty one. I've had one hundred and eighty

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five downloads today, like the whole day, and I don't

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know what's going on. I can't I can't believe. I

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can't believe it. Oh yeah, So I've got a website,

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Jasonnewland dot com. If you like, you can send me

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messages on there. The website's pretty good. It's all got

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all my latest recordings. Ultimately all my recordings are on there. Also,

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Jason Newland's boring group is my Facebook group, so that's

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pretty cool. And what else my YouTube channel at Jason

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Newland the YouTube channels again.

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It's.

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Ever since, right, ever since I've been just uploading the

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latest recordings on there, it's gone a bit. I mean,

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I've had a couple of new subscribers to day. But

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so I can't really complain. But it's just it's not

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what it was. But is it my fault? I don't

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want to be on screen. I don't want to be

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on a video. It's not my fault videos. Why for

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some reason, I was only a little lie down just now.

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Then he was on the window sill in the bedroom,

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was looking out and everything's peaceful. He's some bathing. I'm

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just having a little rest listening to an audio book.

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So I'm not really asleep. I'm just listening to an

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audio book, just laying down, rested my body, resting, my eyes, rested,

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my mind, and out of nowhere right right right like

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starts barking.

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I was.

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I get up and I say stop, stop, get down

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off there. And all I do is I touch him,

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I touch his back. I prodded him. I literally just

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put my hands on him. Get down.

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He's ground at me like it's like I can't.

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I know he's a dog, and I know the dog's

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bark Okay, I'm aware of that. I've been around the

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world and I've had him for two and a half years,

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so I know that he barks. However, I have to

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keep his barking to a minimum because there is a

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there's an after effect. There's consequences of him barking too much,

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and that is neighbors getting annoy Wait also other dogs

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barking as well, But none of that bothers me personally,

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I don't care, but it affects my neighbors. And then

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the sound, you know, then maybe music's put on it's

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very loud to cover up the bark barking. Then someone

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else puts their music up to cover up it's like

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to try and cover up that music. And it can

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just be that role on effect. So if I can

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keep him quiet, It's not that I expect people not

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to have music on. It's to do what they want.

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But I don't want people to feel they have to

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drown out his barking. Do you know what I mean?

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In it you get me swear down. So I'm just

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trying to explain that I don't know. I'm not in

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one second moaning about my neighbors downstairs because they are

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brilliant neighbors, really brilliant. So yeah, I'm not not complaining.

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I mean, none of the neighbors really are an issue

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to me. They're all all right. So while we're while

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I'm being false, let's talk about what can I what

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my I thought about doing it like a three pronged thing.

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So what am I we could not do it together?

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Maybe what am I? Yeah, that's it, and I write

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it down because I remember it, but it's it's one

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of those weird things that I was thinking about this

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last night in bed. So three the three I don't

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not to call them so so grateful one think I'm

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grateful about one thing I forgive and one thing I'm

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looking forward to. So I'm going to I'm going to

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just try and start doing that. In case I haven't

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already said it, please only listen to this when you

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can safely close your eyes. So I'm going to try.

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And this is just a new thing I used to do,

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the gratitude thing. Three things you're grateful for. I struggled

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to find one sometimes, so I thought, I know, when

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I'm feeling grateful, the list is endless. Okay, so I thought, okay,

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listen instead of putting, because this isn't supposed to be

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a test, This isn't supposed to be something that puts

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you on the spot. It's just a relaxing, calm, chilled

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out thing. So one thing that we're grateful for, one

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thing that we're all that we all forgive. It might

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be something you've already forgiven. It might be something that

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you decide, yeah, I forgive that, I forgive that person,

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or I forgive whatever. It could just be something really small.

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But you know what, if we do a small thing

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every day, it means they're never build up. And then

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something we're looking forward to. And I know that the

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literal term of looking forward to something is you're thinking

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about something that's about it's going to happen in the future.

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That literally the term looking forward to, but it's not

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used in that way, is it in the English language.

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Generally it's something you may be not necessarily excited about,

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maybe excited, but something that you're feeling positive about, something

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that you're feeling good. You know, you feel nice. You

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think about it and you feel nice. Maybe and I

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realized I've just explained the very simple term to people

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that know what it means. I'm sorry. Don't mean to

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be condescending, So I'm sorry about that. By the way,

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condescending is kind of it's like talking down to someone

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explaining to someone's explaining something to someone that maybe that

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they kind of obviously would understand. It's I guess being

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condescending is it's kind of expecting of a person not

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to be very very clever like that. Oh that makes

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me laugh. I'm sorry, sorry about being your don condescended.

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By the way, what condescending means is right grateful. So

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if you just think about this, what you're grateful for?

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What do you forgive? What you're looking forward to? So

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I'm want to say mine, you ain't got a joining

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with this, I mean it might be at home thinking

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shut up. I don't want to tell you what I'm

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grateful for. I don't want to tell you. I don't

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want to think about something I forgive. I don't want

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to look forward to anything. Just get on monkey boy

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and tell us about something boring so that that might

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be what you're thinking, which is fine, okay.

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So.

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What am I grateful for right this minute? I'm grateful

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that I'm sitting here and doing this because an hour

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ago I didn't want to, and all weekend I didn't

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want to. So yeah, I'm grateful that I actually am

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sitting here making this recording. So that's what I'm grateful for.

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What are you grateful for? Maybe you could just post

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on YouTube or whatever what you're grateful for on my

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I don't know, maybe on the Facebook, on Jason Leuland's

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boring group. Just maybe just put in what you're grateful

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if you want. If you don't, that's also fine. I

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don't mean like go and grab your phone and do

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it now, because this is chill out time. Something that

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you forget, something I forgive? Let me think I forgive

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one of my neighbors for Yeah, I forgive her for

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borrowing money not paying it back. Yeah, I forgive that.

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It's actually someone I saw yesterday and I got really

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well for him, Like you know what, I don't care

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about it anymore, but you know I do. I forgive.

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I was holding on to it a bit, so I

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forgive that. And is there anything that you forgive? Maybe

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you could forgive me, forgive me for making all these recordings.

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So I'm trying to think next is something that we're

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looking forward to. I'm going to do this at the

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beginning of every recording, so you probably I don't unless

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you don't want me to, then I won't, Okay. So

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I'm not here to I'm not here to annoy people.

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I'm not here just to. It's not my only intention

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it's to annoy people. So something to look forward to?

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What am I? I want to do this genuinely rather

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than there might have to be things that I make

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up in a sense of like okay, or I might

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have to search for it rather than make it up.

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What am I looking forward to? Maybe you'd like to

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think of something that you're looking forward to, or maybe

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you've already done it, maybe it's already there, maybe it's

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in your mind. Anyway, something am I looking forward to?

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That's a good that's not supposed to be difficult? Is

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it is difficult? I'm looking for? This is what I'm

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looking forward to. I'm looking forward to getting myself some

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new glasses, going to the opticians, getting myself some new glasses,

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and then getting back to reading a bit more like

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I used to. That's what I'm looking forward to, because

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I realized, I mean, I do listen to a lot

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of audio books, so technically I am reading in a sense,

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but I yeah, I missed that because that used to

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be part of my identity as a child, not just

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as a child, but as an adult, you know, for decades,

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So reading something that are actually physically looking at her

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book reading rather than looking at a computer screen. And yeah,

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so that's what I'm looking forward to, which means I

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need to make an appointment at the opticians and get

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that sorted. But it's just even though I do get

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discounts and stuff decent frames, they are quite expensive and

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I get a for me, I don't care so much

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about the glasses that i'm reading with if I'm at

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home reading or even well that's the only place I

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would aladly be reading nowadays, but being out, you know,

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because I'm going to have separate gu I mean, he

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said separate glasses, Separate glasses for reading, separate glasses for

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day to day and maybe even ask if I can

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get some separate glasses for screenwork, because I think it's

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been affected my eyes. So I don't care what they

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look like, the ones I use to look at a computer,

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the ones I used to read with. I don't care.

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They can be pink and have little I don't know,

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little fireworks shooting at of them. I don't know. It

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doesn't matter to me. Little windmills, remember those little windmills.

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You get a sea sea fronts on a stick. They

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can have those sticking out. I don't care, because, Okay,

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I don't want them to have little windmills, but I

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wouldn't necessarily have that on my normal glasses that I

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was walking around in. But the reason it costs a

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bit for my normal glasses is because I think I'm

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going to be talking about glasses. This is the boring

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objects today. I probably talked about it before, but I'm

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going to do it again. Boring objects glasses. Here we go. See,

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I didn't know what I was going to talk about. Now, No,

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I'm going to talk about glasses, So I've kind of

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led into it and I by by discussing classes. So

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I need to have actor like glasses because I've got

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a heredity. There's a couple of hereditary things in my

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family on my dad's side. One is prostrate stuff, which

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i've so far been okay with got tested with that,

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but three of my family members haven't been or they've

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been affected by it, like you know, badly affected by it.

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So the other thing, I just don't like saying a word,

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to be honest with you, I just don't don't that's yeah.

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And then the other thing is osteoporosis. But that seems

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to be effected in the female side rather than the

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male side. But it can affect I mean, it's the

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percentage of male to female. I think it's higher for females.

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I'm going to check that, make sure I'm not osteo porosis.

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Did did it? Osteoporosis female to male two male ratio? Okay,

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here we go, here we go. So, although female to

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ratio was three was three in several studies from the US,

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more recent data from Canada and Europe indicated of ratio

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of one four. Oh no, whoa, I think she used

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to do with bone density. Really, it's nothing to do

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with sex. Well maybe it is, but not sex like so.

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I think in the old days it used to be

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called brittle bones. My nan had it really bad, and

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I think I think two of my aunties have got it.

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So but she was very old, elderly, my nan. She

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had to take this massive tablet. It's honestly, she had

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to like just suck on it for hours. Is it

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like vitmin d or something. Does she take like a

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calcium tablet? She take once once a once a week,

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00:20:15.400 --> 00:20:21.000
I think. But so that's another thing. I don't know.

234
00:20:22.960 --> 00:20:24.799
It was questioned a bit of me because I've had

235
00:20:24.799 --> 00:20:27.759
so many breaks, so many broken bones over the last

236
00:20:27.759 --> 00:20:32.200
few years, that maybe there's some density issues. But then

237
00:20:32.400 --> 00:20:34.759
I spoke to my doctor about that. So I had

238
00:20:34.799 --> 00:20:38.400
to have a doctor's appointment on the phone, and he said, well,

239
00:20:39.240 --> 00:20:43.799
when you fractured your back falling down the stairs, that

240
00:20:43.799 --> 00:20:46.680
when you fractured your back trying to put your socks on,

241
00:20:47.440 --> 00:20:50.000
I don't think it's anything wrong with your back. Your

242
00:20:50.039 --> 00:20:53.400
back's fine, you know. No, when I fell down the

243
00:20:53.400 --> 00:20:56.640
stairs fractured my back and I had a CT scan.

244
00:20:57.400 --> 00:21:00.920
They we said they should sort of picked up on

245
00:21:01.000 --> 00:21:04.480
that if there were, you know, if there was an

246
00:21:04.519 --> 00:21:07.079
issue with your with your back, with you with your

247
00:21:07.079 --> 00:21:11.799
bones and stuffy, but they were if they're not looking

248
00:21:11.839 --> 00:21:14.519
for it, I don't know. Hopefully not, you know, I'm

249
00:21:14.519 --> 00:21:21.400
not bothered, but hopefully fine. But the other thing, let's

250
00:21:21.440 --> 00:21:29.200
talk about diseases. Yeah, no, it's macro degeneration, which is

251
00:21:29.559 --> 00:21:37.880
again it's in the family, which is my men had it,

252
00:21:40.519 --> 00:21:44.359
my dad's got it, which is an eye an eye thing,

253
00:21:45.240 --> 00:21:51.160
So macro degeneration, it's an eye condition or mecula. Not

254
00:21:51.279 --> 00:22:02.319
macro mecula. Sorry, is a it's a common idea eye disorder,

255
00:22:03.279 --> 00:22:08.640
especially among older dudes, adults, where the central part of

256
00:22:08.640 --> 00:22:12.359
the retina, the macula, deteriorates. So it's kind of a

257
00:22:14.759 --> 00:22:18.440
what you're hustling me for? Vinnie? What is it? What

258
00:22:18.519 --> 00:22:20.640
do you want? He keeps trying to get into the

259
00:22:20.680 --> 00:22:24.359
window sill. Do you promise to behave if you go

260
00:22:24.359 --> 00:22:26.000
into the window sill? Right? Go on?

261
00:22:26.079 --> 00:22:38.680
Then go on, good boy.

262
00:22:39.799 --> 00:22:42.400
So he's gone. I put him. I told him, I

263
00:22:42.440 --> 00:22:46.759
said get out. But what I mean is, please go

264
00:22:46.880 --> 00:22:49.720
through the door, all right? He doesn't.

265
00:22:49.920 --> 00:22:50.559
Vinnie, you can.

266
00:22:50.880 --> 00:22:54.160
I'm not leaving that door open. But if you want

267
00:22:54.200 --> 00:22:56.319
to go and go into the window sill in the bedroom,

268
00:22:56.359 --> 00:22:58.440
you can. But if you bark, you're gonna have to

269
00:22:58.440 --> 00:23:04.680
come in here. Nothing I do is good enough for him.

270
00:23:05.000 --> 00:23:08.319
It's not good enough, is it? I don't know what

271
00:23:08.359 --> 00:23:11.720
you want? Mate, I can open this window. Is that

272
00:23:11.720 --> 00:23:13.920
what you want from me to pull the curtains that

273
00:23:14.000 --> 00:23:24.480
you've got? Oh? Is that better? Is that more substantial?

274
00:23:26.839 --> 00:23:29.480
You've got a bit more bit more sun? Is that

275
00:23:29.519 --> 00:23:29.960
better for you?

276
00:23:31.640 --> 00:23:31.880
God?

277
00:23:31.880 --> 00:23:39.720
It's constantly moaning. Yes, it's it's just a nice thing.

278
00:23:39.799 --> 00:23:43.319
It's it's digit it's just aging. It's an aging thing.

279
00:23:43.359 --> 00:23:47.319
I think, maybe not always, but it's more common in

280
00:23:49.160 --> 00:23:56.640
more older people. But older could I mean it's I'm

281
00:23:56.680 --> 00:23:59.319
technically in the older group now and I am fifty four.

282
00:23:59.880 --> 00:24:04.240
So my optician did say that it looked like I

283
00:24:04.319 --> 00:24:09.119
might have the beginning of it. So what they did did?

284
00:24:09.160 --> 00:24:13.440
They started? I started having actor like glasses to sort

285
00:24:13.480 --> 00:24:18.000
of protect me from the sun and sunlight and stuff.

286
00:24:20.480 --> 00:24:22.920
So I will continue that, but it's expensive. It adds

287
00:24:22.960 --> 00:24:29.119
some fair bit of money to the lenses. And I

288
00:24:29.160 --> 00:24:35.480
have anti glow as well or anti shine, I don't

289
00:24:35.480 --> 00:24:36.920
know what the right word, but yeah, I have that

290
00:24:36.960 --> 00:24:44.559
on there, and it's like a coating thing. Although I

291
00:24:44.559 --> 00:24:46.759
think they might have actually come with them last time.

292
00:24:48.000 --> 00:24:50.000
I feel that I should maybe make an appointment that

293
00:24:50.279 --> 00:24:55.279
the the opticians. Now, shall I should I make an appointment?

294
00:24:55.920 --> 00:24:57.599
Should I do it? On the phone so you can hear,

295
00:25:00.200 --> 00:25:02.640
but then I don't want to. I don't know I

296
00:25:02.680 --> 00:25:08.599
could do it. I can make an appointment on the phone,

297
00:25:12.279 --> 00:25:19.319
So I'm just gonna Yeah. I think reading because the

298
00:25:19.319 --> 00:25:23.000
glasses I've got at the moment, it's got all. It's

299
00:25:23.000 --> 00:25:26.720
basically got all three. It's like three free lenses in one.

300
00:25:27.359 --> 00:25:32.880
So the middle is kind of I think the top

301
00:25:34.720 --> 00:25:42.480
the bottom is for reading, and I think the middle

302
00:25:42.759 --> 00:25:46.039
is the middle is for distance, and I think the

303
00:25:46.079 --> 00:25:50.039
top is for my computer. I'm not sure. Maybe it's

304
00:25:50.039 --> 00:25:55.160
only got two. It's a long time ago. It's been

305
00:25:55.200 --> 00:25:59.720
over three years since our last got my eyes tested.

306
00:25:59.880 --> 00:26:06.519
I need to get them tested again. I do who

307
00:26:06.519 --> 00:26:17.119
am I with eyes? Eyes? Not eyes? Are us eye spotters? Nope?

308
00:26:17.480 --> 00:26:24.160
Do you know I was actually in I was in Iceland,

309
00:26:25.519 --> 00:26:30.640
the store, not the country, and I didn't have a

310
00:26:30.640 --> 00:26:33.440
passport at the time, so the store was the closest

311
00:26:33.440 --> 00:26:40.680
I could get to that environment. And I think I

312
00:26:40.759 --> 00:26:44.359
basically there was a little QB on me. I'd put

313
00:26:44.359 --> 00:26:52.200
all my stuff through, and the I think I'd packed

314
00:26:52.200 --> 00:26:58.160
all my bags and the lady behind the counter, because

315
00:26:58.160 --> 00:27:02.640
one knows like lowered counters, I think it might have

316
00:27:02.759 --> 00:27:08.119
had a like all mechanical thing that pushes along. I

317
00:27:08.680 --> 00:27:12.519
forget what they called conveyor, conveyor belt or whatever. And

318
00:27:12.599 --> 00:27:15.319
she said, oh, you've forgotten something that I'm putting into

319
00:27:15.359 --> 00:27:20.480
the bag. I said, thanks, this lady, there's this lady.

320
00:27:20.599 --> 00:27:24.319
That lady, A lady who was waiting next to be said,

321
00:27:24.839 --> 00:27:35.279
shouted out, should have gone to Spec Shavers. And I thought, really,

322
00:27:39.240 --> 00:27:47.200
because bearing in mind, I was wearing glasses. So you know,

323
00:27:49.160 --> 00:27:52.440
it's a disability, isn't it, you know, eyesight and stuff.

324
00:27:53.519 --> 00:27:56.880
I'm not that. I'm just like I wasn't upset, just

325
00:27:56.880 --> 00:28:03.119
just like, Okay, So if I was troubling, if I

326
00:28:03.160 --> 00:28:06.920
was in a wheelchair struggling to get upper upper ramp,

327
00:28:07.359 --> 00:28:09.000
should have gone to a different weight, should have got

328
00:28:09.000 --> 00:28:15.240
a better wheelchair. Like no, I said, I just it's

329
00:28:15.279 --> 00:28:19.480
a human error. I just didn't see it. How couldn't

330
00:28:19.480 --> 00:28:23.640
you see it as a big pack of cokes? Okay,

331
00:28:25.440 --> 00:28:29.519
perhaps I need to get me ice tested. Perhaps you're

332
00:28:29.599 --> 00:28:32.079
right I should have gone to Specsavers. I did go

333
00:28:32.160 --> 00:28:37.200
to Spec Savers. I meant lots of different vets opticians

334
00:28:37.200 --> 00:28:39.960
over the years. I get my luck between them. Two

335
00:28:41.160 --> 00:28:50.720
the looks I get and I just I just found

336
00:28:50.759 --> 00:28:56.839
it weird. It's one of those like she wasn't really

337
00:28:58.599 --> 00:29:01.079
I don't know, she just watched it too much TV.

338
00:29:01.559 --> 00:29:04.160
Because it's an advert should have gone to Spect savers.

339
00:29:05.640 --> 00:29:11.000
But it just seems weird to hear an advert being

340
00:29:11.119 --> 00:29:17.519
chucked out in a real life situation, especially as it's

341
00:29:17.559 --> 00:29:23.160
such an old phrase. It's like, what, thirty years old

342
00:29:23.440 --> 00:29:27.000
since I've been having their adverts. Should have gone to Spect.

343
00:29:29.599 --> 00:29:36.920
I'm like, okay, And I just I didn't know really

344
00:29:36.920 --> 00:29:42.680
what to do or what to say. I just wanted

345
00:29:42.720 --> 00:29:45.359
to move on with my life. I just wanted to

346
00:29:45.400 --> 00:29:50.480
just to I suppose I should have put her down

347
00:29:50.519 --> 00:29:53.400
as one of the people I forgive. I thought, I advocate.

348
00:29:54.279 --> 00:29:56.200
Let it go, man, let it go.

349
00:29:57.480 --> 00:30:02.720
It was fifteen years ago, I know, I know it was.

350
00:30:02.960 --> 00:30:08.440
It was a long time ago. Fifteen years maybe not

351
00:30:08.480 --> 00:30:14.319
fifteen years, probably nine years, eight years maybe since I've

352
00:30:14.359 --> 00:30:19.480
been wearing glasses. So yeah, i'd been wearing glasses since.

353
00:30:21.880 --> 00:30:26.160
Wre's the history. Here's the history of my glasses. I

354
00:30:26.200 --> 00:30:31.440
went to I started getting headaches. Actually that's what it was.

355
00:30:31.480 --> 00:30:36.680
When I was about fifteen. It's about fifteen, and I

356
00:30:36.680 --> 00:30:41.359
was getting headaches so my mummy took me to the

357
00:30:41.440 --> 00:30:45.319
dentist because she was she wasn't too bright, took me

358
00:30:45.400 --> 00:30:48.640
to your doctors. Isn't it weird? I was fifteen, I

359
00:30:48.640 --> 00:30:51.759
was still going to the doctors with my mummy. That

360
00:30:51.759 --> 00:30:55.680
actually shows I just wasn't. I didn't.

361
00:30:55.720 --> 00:30:56.200
I just did.

362
00:30:56.319 --> 00:30:59.079
Yeah, I didn't go to the doctors on my own

363
00:31:00.240 --> 00:31:05.559
until I was sixteen. I don't even I don't even

364
00:31:05.599 --> 00:31:10.519
know if that's normal, but I didn't want to go immune.

365
00:31:10.880 --> 00:31:13.119
If I'm honest with you, still don't.

366
00:31:14.759 --> 00:31:20.559
Oh what my mama mama and I.

367
00:31:22.839 --> 00:31:32.720
The doctor said to me, you've got looks like it's

368
00:31:32.759 --> 00:31:37.440
your eyes, and I said, yeah, I know you're looking

369
00:31:37.480 --> 00:31:40.359
at my eyes, so they are my eyes. He said, no, no,

370
00:31:40.440 --> 00:31:43.720
I know they're your eyes. I said, well, you're looking

371
00:31:43.720 --> 00:31:46.599
at my eyes and saying it looks like it's your eyes.

372
00:31:47.000 --> 00:31:49.480
But if you're looking at my hand and said it

373
00:31:49.480 --> 00:31:51.319
looks like your eyes, that would be wonting, wouldn't it

374
00:31:51.400 --> 00:31:53.680
If my hand looked like my eyes. But if my

375
00:31:53.759 --> 00:31:57.359
eyes or my eyes looked like my hands, yeah, worrying.

376
00:31:57.960 --> 00:32:00.960
If my eyes looked like my eyes, then that's normal,

377
00:32:01.000 --> 00:32:06.240
isn't it. He looked at my mum, and she just

378
00:32:06.240 --> 00:32:10.400
shook her head as well. She said, I've had nine

379
00:32:10.480 --> 00:32:14.640
years of this. He said really, He said, yeah, nine years,

380
00:32:15.519 --> 00:32:17.599
so that coming he's fifteen, while I've had since he

381
00:32:17.720 --> 00:32:22.559
was seven. Okay, it must be hard work. She said,

382
00:32:22.559 --> 00:32:24.960
it don't matter. I found a way to escape from him.

383
00:32:25.240 --> 00:32:29.000
I'm moving away. You haven't told him yet. I'm moving away. Oh,

384
00:32:29.079 --> 00:32:32.599
it's going to be so lovely. And I'm like, I'm

385
00:32:32.759 --> 00:32:35.759
right here. I can hear what you're saying. It's my

386
00:32:35.880 --> 00:32:39.640
eyes that the problem, not me is And the doctor said,

387
00:32:39.680 --> 00:32:42.000
you are with them ears. I'm surprised you can't. There's

388
00:32:42.200 --> 00:32:47.680
nothing you can't hear. And they laughed, that's rude. Can't

389
00:32:47.720 --> 00:32:50.480
make fun of them. The size of my ears, he said,

390
00:32:50.519 --> 00:32:52.559
the size of your ears. The only reason no one

391
00:32:52.640 --> 00:32:55.079
mentions your is because your nose is so big. No

392
00:32:55.119 --> 00:33:01.839
one even notices your ears are massive. Wow. And I'm thinking,

393
00:33:02.319 --> 00:33:05.799
you're supposed to be my doctor, and he said, no,

394
00:33:06.640 --> 00:33:09.119
let me tell you something, Jason, I'm not your doctor.

395
00:33:09.200 --> 00:33:13.079
I'm your mum's doctor. She brings me, she brings you

396
00:33:13.160 --> 00:33:18.599
to me. When she moves away, I won't be seeing

397
00:33:18.599 --> 00:33:21.319
you again. You're gonna have to get your own doctor.

398
00:33:22.440 --> 00:33:25.160
I'm just seeing you as a favor to her. No

399
00:33:25.240 --> 00:33:29.240
one in this town wants to see you. I was like, wow,

400
00:33:29.359 --> 00:33:34.440
this is this is getting, this is getting why? He says,

401
00:33:34.480 --> 00:33:38.519
why all you do is fart everywhere you go? As

402
00:33:38.599 --> 00:33:42.599
far You're known famous in this town for farting everywhere

403
00:33:42.599 --> 00:33:45.279
you go, far far far far, far far far far.

404
00:33:47.880 --> 00:33:50.799
You know how expensive it is to have to fumigate

405
00:33:51.279 --> 00:33:55.039
the entire doctor's surgery every time you walk past.

406
00:33:58.359 --> 00:33:59.279
What this is?

407
00:33:59.559 --> 00:34:05.640
Where is it school coming from? Well? Your bum apparently? Okay.

408
00:34:06.160 --> 00:34:09.840
I just wanted to a headache, that's all. I just

409
00:34:09.880 --> 00:34:12.920
wanted to get Jack checked out. He said, yeah, and

410
00:34:13.039 --> 00:34:18.960
luckily you can now go and see an opticians. He's

411
00:34:19.000 --> 00:34:23.159
a number three opticians. Go and make an appointment with opticians.

412
00:34:24.039 --> 00:34:25.440
So you're talking to me, he said, no, I'm not

413
00:34:25.440 --> 00:34:27.920
talking to you and talking to her. If you can

414
00:34:27.920 --> 00:34:32.320
go and make an opticians appointment, because I think it's

415
00:34:32.360 --> 00:34:39.639
his eyes, that's okay. So I go to the opticians

416
00:34:41.400 --> 00:34:46.119
and they this is a weird one. See, no one

417
00:34:46.159 --> 00:34:48.960
ever told me this apparently had a won key eye.

418
00:34:50.320 --> 00:34:53.519
Maybe I still do and no one tells me. But

419
00:34:53.599 --> 00:34:56.760
he said, see again, I don't know if he was

420
00:34:56.800 --> 00:35:00.000
just friends with the doctors and he thought the doctor said,

421
00:35:00.119 --> 00:35:03.800
just wind him up. You know you're going to meet

422
00:35:03.880 --> 00:35:06.360
for the first time. You're going to think lovely kid.

423
00:35:07.079 --> 00:35:08.679
But then he's going to let one go and it's

424
00:35:08.719 --> 00:35:12.599
going to stink the whole building out. So get in

425
00:35:12.679 --> 00:35:16.239
there first, make fun of him, do something like that,

426
00:35:16.440 --> 00:35:20.119
really get his self esteem down. So okay, So I

427
00:35:20.199 --> 00:35:25.800
think that's what happened, but that this is what happened.

428
00:35:25.800 --> 00:35:30.599
In the very first opticians I've ever been to, he

429
00:35:30.719 --> 00:35:38.119
said to me, right, you need glasses. I've realized over

430
00:35:38.159 --> 00:35:42.280
the years. I think that's the first thing people learn

431
00:35:42.440 --> 00:35:46.079
in optician college. It's the first thing I learned, is

432
00:35:46.480 --> 00:35:50.079
you need glass. Everyone, well, come to your first day

433
00:35:50.079 --> 00:35:52.679
of learning to be an optician. Now repeat after me,

434
00:35:53.280 --> 00:35:57.280
you need glasses. What do you mean? No, just everyone

435
00:35:57.320 --> 00:36:06.119
repeat you need glasses or you need new glasses. That's

436
00:36:06.159 --> 00:36:07.960
what you're going to have to say to every single

437
00:36:08.000 --> 00:36:12.119
person you see from now onwards. So when you're professional,

438
00:36:12.199 --> 00:36:16.199
when you're all qualified, whether they've already got glasses or

439
00:36:16.199 --> 00:36:19.360
whether they haven't got glasses, you need glasses or you

440
00:36:19.440 --> 00:36:27.320
need new glasses. What if they don't need them. Get out,

441
00:36:28.000 --> 00:36:36.719
get out. No, no, no, I've never ever ever known

442
00:36:37.400 --> 00:36:39.840
an oppetition to tell me that I didn't need glasses. Ever.

443
00:36:43.360 --> 00:36:48.840
I think that's it's just like what they're taught. So

444
00:36:48.880 --> 00:36:51.320
I went along. I didn't realize this at the time.

445
00:36:51.960 --> 00:36:53.639
I mean I did need glass think I did, but

446
00:36:55.199 --> 00:36:57.599
I don't. I mean, I don't personally think I needed

447
00:36:57.599 --> 00:36:59.719
them all the time, but they He said, you need

448
00:36:59.719 --> 00:37:04.559
them all time. You definitely don't for reading. So he

449
00:37:04.639 --> 00:37:09.239
gave me. I think he gave me different glasses for reading,

450
00:37:10.480 --> 00:37:18.719
or did he I'm not sure, but he gave me glasses. Now,

451
00:37:18.719 --> 00:37:21.559
I'm not sure if I needed Oh, he gave me glasses. Anyway,

452
00:37:22.159 --> 00:37:24.960
it's such a long time ago. I might have had

453
00:37:24.960 --> 00:37:28.440
two pairs, one for reading, one for you know, day

454
00:37:28.480 --> 00:37:30.920
to day. Just get a bit of extra money out

455
00:37:30.920 --> 00:37:33.559
of me. Well, I say out of me. I didn't

456
00:37:33.559 --> 00:37:42.679
pay for it. My mama paid for it, and she yeah,

457
00:37:42.719 --> 00:37:45.440
So it was weird. He said. This dentist said to me,

458
00:37:46.280 --> 00:37:49.800
you got a one KEI. I said, you got bad breath.

459
00:37:49.920 --> 00:37:55.519
You know, we've all got that wrong with us, he said.

460
00:37:55.880 --> 00:37:59.079
He came up to me, he said, missus Newland, do

461
00:37:59.079 --> 00:38:00.800
you want to pop out the room for a minute.

462
00:38:01.599 --> 00:38:05.440
She said why. He said, I just want to just

463
00:38:05.239 --> 00:38:08.719
I just want to punch your son. She said, really,

464
00:38:08.840 --> 00:38:11.760
you're going to punch him, she said, He said yeah.

465
00:38:11.880 --> 00:38:14.000
She said, okay, right, Anon, want me to wait outside

466
00:38:14.039 --> 00:38:18.400
for I'm like, wait a minute, excuse me, I'm fifteen.

467
00:38:19.760 --> 00:38:23.800
You know just what you're doing. Anyway, nothing bad happened

468
00:38:23.800 --> 00:38:31.320
in the end. They calmed down and I said, what

469
00:38:31.440 --> 00:38:36.159
do you mean I've got a wonky eye? Because I

470
00:38:36.159 --> 00:38:40.920
didn't really know what it meant. He said, well, okay,

471
00:38:42.360 --> 00:38:50.119
see I'm over here, right, and your right arm is

472
00:38:50.199 --> 00:38:54.920
looking over that. You're right arm, You're right, and well

473
00:38:55.559 --> 00:38:58.320
it was a funny moment. He really it cut through

474
00:38:58.320 --> 00:39:01.119
the attention to be fair, said, I didn't mean you're right,

475
00:39:01.440 --> 00:39:09.119
your right arm and you're so you're left. I is

476
00:39:09.199 --> 00:39:13.519
looking at me. Your right eye is looking through the

477
00:39:13.559 --> 00:39:20.199
window the other side of the room. I said, well, so,

478
00:39:22.159 --> 00:39:24.760
I mean that's quite a good thing. It's a safe

479
00:39:24.760 --> 00:39:27.440
thing to do. Isn't it be able to see three

480
00:39:27.559 --> 00:39:35.519
hundred and sixty degrees? That's quite a useful superpower. He said, yeah,

481
00:39:35.760 --> 00:39:37.840
if your eyes were at the side of your head,

482
00:39:38.000 --> 00:39:40.679
it would be. But they're not. They're both at the

483
00:39:40.679 --> 00:39:45.960
front of your head. So like, okay, so I've got

484
00:39:46.000 --> 00:39:50.920
a wonky eye. I said, which one is it? He said,

485
00:39:50.920 --> 00:39:53.599
it doesn't matter. I said, what do you mean it

486
00:39:53.639 --> 00:39:58.440
doesn't matter? He said, look for the sake of the

487
00:39:58.480 --> 00:40:04.079
podcast that you're going to be doing in forty years time,

488
00:40:06.280 --> 00:40:10.599
you won't even remember which I it was, so there's

489
00:40:10.639 --> 00:40:13.840
no point even remembering it. You can make one up.

490
00:40:13.880 --> 00:40:16.280
You can say right or left. There are two choices. Really,

491
00:40:18.559 --> 00:40:23.360
it doesn't matter. Yeah, it's gonna matter for now, isn't it.

492
00:40:23.599 --> 00:40:26.159
But you know, okay, it's not gonna matter in forty

493
00:40:26.199 --> 00:40:31.360
years time when I do the podcast, But it's it's

494
00:40:31.360 --> 00:40:36.199
going to matter now because this is now. This is

495
00:40:36.320 --> 00:40:41.280
nineteen ninety six or eighty five, eighty six, whatever year

496
00:40:41.280 --> 00:40:45.679
it was. And he said, you really don't know what

497
00:40:45.760 --> 00:40:48.960
year it is. At fifteen, you should know the year

498
00:40:49.000 --> 00:40:51.760
you're in. I said, come on, start having to go

499
00:40:51.840 --> 00:41:00.679
at me. And then I fighted and he changed his attitude.

500
00:41:02.039 --> 00:41:05.800
I think he was shocked. But anyway, what happened in

501
00:41:05.840 --> 00:41:10.760
the end, I was given a patch to wear. I

502
00:41:10.800 --> 00:41:13.559
think he was just making fun of me. He had

503
00:41:13.639 --> 00:41:21.400
me wearing a patch and not only was it a patch,

504
00:41:21.400 --> 00:41:25.199
it was a pink patch. So I think somewhere along

505
00:41:25.239 --> 00:41:28.960
the line they were just winding me up. So I

506
00:41:28.960 --> 00:41:33.800
had to wear a patch over one eye, the normal eye,

507
00:41:33.840 --> 00:41:36.960
well was the one that wasn't one key, in order

508
00:41:37.000 --> 00:41:41.760
to get the other eye back to being where it

509
00:41:41.800 --> 00:41:49.119
should be. And I had to do these exercises where

510
00:41:49.239 --> 00:41:52.480
I'd look at a pencil with the patch on and

511
00:41:52.519 --> 00:41:56.480
I would just practice these exercises of following it. I

512
00:41:56.480 --> 00:41:57.559
feel I might have to do it with the other

513
00:41:57.599 --> 00:42:08.039
eye as well, I can't remember. And I went to school. See,

514
00:42:08.639 --> 00:42:14.280
I think I might have worn a patch at school

515
00:42:14.280 --> 00:42:16.000
as well. I don't think. I think I had to

516
00:42:16.039 --> 00:42:19.280
wear the patch at home, or you know, I didn't

517
00:42:19.320 --> 00:42:21.639
have to wear the patch when I went out, I think,

518
00:42:22.440 --> 00:42:27.039
but I had to wear the patch at home, but

519
00:42:27.079 --> 00:42:29.320
I had glasses to wear at school, So you know,

520
00:42:29.360 --> 00:42:33.400
bear in mind, I was fifteen, last year of school,

521
00:42:35.559 --> 00:42:40.760
probably either the end of the year nineteen eighty nineteen

522
00:42:40.800 --> 00:42:45.440
eighty five or the beginning of nineteen eighty six is

523
00:42:45.519 --> 00:42:53.599
around that kind of time. Yeah, around that time. And

524
00:42:53.920 --> 00:42:58.639
I so I wore glasses for the very first time,

525
00:42:59.320 --> 00:43:07.000
and I'm walking, I'm walking to school. Even people I'd

526
00:43:07.079 --> 00:43:12.960
never spoken to were making fun of me. People that

527
00:43:13.079 --> 00:43:17.880
didn't even notice me in the past were laughing at me.

528
00:43:21.039 --> 00:43:24.400
It was absolutely ridiculous. I mean, I thought maybe a

529
00:43:24.440 --> 00:43:29.239
little bit of ribbon, but you'd have thought i'd have

530
00:43:29.280 --> 00:43:36.360
walked in with like a I don't know, a pizza

531
00:43:36.480 --> 00:43:38.760
on my head or something like that. The way everyone

532
00:43:38.840 --> 00:43:44.199
was like, oh, look that.

533
00:43:43.400 --> 00:43:44.719
That is wearing.

534
00:43:44.800 --> 00:43:51.679
It's wearing glasses. And it got to the point where

535
00:43:51.679 --> 00:43:56.320
I took them off because I didn't enjoy it. If

536
00:43:56.320 --> 00:43:58.840
I'm honest, I might have enjoyed it a little bit,

537
00:43:58.960 --> 00:44:01.559
like my friend's a bit of ribbing, like okay, that's cool,

538
00:44:03.320 --> 00:44:09.760
but then it goes on a bit too long. I

539
00:44:09.840 --> 00:44:13.039
still get phone calls even, you know, got a phone

540
00:44:13.039 --> 00:44:17.079
call last night for someone from school, just randomly. They said,

541
00:44:17.280 --> 00:44:20.519
you right, goggles and hung up. It's like, come on,

542
00:44:22.440 --> 00:44:29.840
So I didn't. I didn't. I thought it was right

543
00:44:29.880 --> 00:44:31.960
to wear glasses. I didn't really have an issue with it,

544
00:44:35.199 --> 00:44:37.239
but other people seem to have an issue with it.

545
00:44:38.719 --> 00:44:46.360
So I took them off. And I did wear them

546
00:44:46.559 --> 00:44:54.760
because I remember wearing them just before I left school,

547
00:44:55.039 --> 00:44:59.880
so I'm thinking it might have been nineteen eighty six.

548
00:45:00.599 --> 00:45:05.519
So I left school in April March April time, nineteen

549
00:45:05.559 --> 00:45:09.000
eighty six, So it might have been that period leading

550
00:45:09.079 --> 00:45:11.840
up because I got the chip shop shop, the chip

551
00:45:12.000 --> 00:45:16.599
shop job before I left school. I just remembered, this

552
00:45:17.039 --> 00:45:21.000
isn't it weird? I got the chip shop job before

553
00:45:21.039 --> 00:45:27.840
I left school, and I worked on a Saturday and

554
00:45:27.920 --> 00:45:31.880
maybe a couple of evenings, and then when I left school,

555
00:45:31.920 --> 00:45:39.559
I went full time, and then the September nineteen eighty six,

556
00:45:40.280 --> 00:45:44.559
I went onto the Yes. So when I was full time,

557
00:45:44.599 --> 00:45:47.760
I was earning sixty pird a week, which is more

558
00:45:47.760 --> 00:45:51.719
than I'd ever had who were like, yeah, never had

559
00:45:51.760 --> 00:45:57.920
sixty pounds a week cash. You know, I was still

560
00:45:57.960 --> 00:46:01.519
at school and I wasn't still it was technically still

561
00:46:01.519 --> 00:46:04.239
at school, as in I had to go and do

562
00:46:04.320 --> 00:46:07.639
my exams, at least I thought I did. I didn't

563
00:46:07.639 --> 00:46:10.039
realize I didn't have to do anything, because once you

564
00:46:10.119 --> 00:46:11.559
leaves school, you don't have to do any you know.

565
00:46:11.760 --> 00:46:15.400
I didn't have to go do my exams. There was

566
00:46:15.480 --> 00:46:21.400
no consequence for not doing them. And it was kind

567
00:46:21.400 --> 00:46:24.000
of weird because but I was still in that zone

568
00:46:24.039 --> 00:46:29.599
of being told what to do by schools. You know

569
00:46:29.760 --> 00:46:33.360
that kind of I remember right before I left school,

570
00:46:34.639 --> 00:46:38.679
there was this deputy head teacher. I'd never had a

571
00:46:38.760 --> 00:46:43.800
run in with him ever, but for some reason, and

572
00:46:43.840 --> 00:46:47.400
this was the last week of school, he decided to

573
00:46:47.400 --> 00:46:49.519
have a go at me and he came up to

574
00:46:49.559 --> 00:46:54.639
me and he started shouting in my face about something.

575
00:46:55.440 --> 00:46:57.800
I don't know what it was. He was used to

576
00:46:57.920 --> 00:47:03.519
teach French, so I didn't always understand what he was saying.

577
00:47:05.599 --> 00:47:08.119
I think he sometimes you forgot. He'd go in and

578
00:47:08.199 --> 00:47:11.840
out of French. And it was a deputy head and

579
00:47:11.880 --> 00:47:15.360
he was known for being really strict, and he was

580
00:47:15.599 --> 00:47:21.639
just chatting in my face, and I went from being oh,

581
00:47:22.119 --> 00:47:26.519
you know, like to remember him. I only had three

582
00:47:26.599 --> 00:47:30.679
days left to school, and I just started laughing at him.

583
00:47:30.880 --> 00:47:35.159
I just walked off, like what are you gonna do? Literally,

584
00:47:35.199 --> 00:47:40.840
it's nothing. It's like, yeah, I could walk out of

585
00:47:40.840 --> 00:47:43.400
school now and it would make no difference. I'm just

586
00:47:43.440 --> 00:47:47.440
sticking around because it's like the last three days. Just

587
00:47:47.440 --> 00:47:50.719
to say goodbye to people I've been at school with

588
00:47:50.840 --> 00:47:57.000
for years, that's all it was. It wasn't say goodbye

589
00:47:57.079 --> 00:47:59.599
to some of the kids in the younger years that

590
00:47:59.679 --> 00:48:07.639
I was friends that I wasn't going to see regularly anymore. Oh,

591
00:48:07.719 --> 00:48:09.760
even the ones in the older years actually, because they

592
00:48:09.880 --> 00:48:14.960
had a levels back then, so there was some of

593
00:48:15.000 --> 00:48:18.440
my karate friends were in the higher levels as well.

594
00:48:20.519 --> 00:48:26.960
I remember, just like he was shing like okay. But

595
00:48:27.000 --> 00:48:29.159
then there was another weird thing happened, and I still

596
00:48:29.239 --> 00:48:33.159
to this day don't know what happened, why happened. But

597
00:48:33.239 --> 00:48:38.920
I went into my classroom. This is my my the

598
00:48:39.039 --> 00:48:40.880
room that we went to first thing in the morning,

599
00:48:40.960 --> 00:48:43.440
we stayed in at breaks if we wanted to, and

600
00:48:43.480 --> 00:48:44.840
then would go in there at the end of the

601
00:48:44.920 --> 00:48:47.960
day and you do the register. So it was my

602
00:48:48.119 --> 00:48:50.719
form room. That's what they used to call it, isn't it.

603
00:48:50.800 --> 00:48:53.679
So it was my classroom for the entire year, and

604
00:48:53.719 --> 00:48:55.480
I had the same one for about three years in

605
00:48:55.519 --> 00:49:00.719
a row. I think, So I'm in there, I go

606
00:49:00.800 --> 00:49:02.880
in there in the last day. This is somewhere that

607
00:49:02.920 --> 00:49:06.679
I spend a fair bit of time on the time,

608
00:49:06.800 --> 00:49:08.519
in the times that I didn't want to go out

609
00:49:08.599 --> 00:49:10.239
or do anything, I wanted to be on my own,

610
00:49:10.440 --> 00:49:13.679
I'd go in there and there there's be a color

611
00:49:13.679 --> 00:49:15.599
of us maybe just sitting on our own, just doing

612
00:49:15.599 --> 00:49:21.679
our own thing. You know. So I went in there

613
00:49:21.679 --> 00:49:24.760
and there was a couple of there was three kids,

614
00:49:25.599 --> 00:49:29.480
all three that didn't really know very well that I

615
00:49:29.599 --> 00:49:32.599
didn't really they weren't from that they weren't even in

616
00:49:32.639 --> 00:49:38.039
that class, and they were just in there and they

617
00:49:38.079 --> 00:49:42.599
were playing some song. I remember it was something that

618
00:49:42.840 --> 00:49:45.519
was it done think Nothing then your Chicks for Free,

619
00:49:46.320 --> 00:49:51.519
I own nothing. Whatever that song is direstracted it, and

620
00:49:51.559 --> 00:49:55.119
I like, I went in there. I must have said

621
00:49:55.119 --> 00:49:59.639
something to annoy someone. I don't know what, but someone

622
00:49:59.679 --> 00:50:02.960
started on me and he was kicking me in the shins.

623
00:50:04.000 --> 00:50:07.360
I'm like, but it was surprised. I didn't know because

624
00:50:07.360 --> 00:50:09.480
he was I think this one was a judo man.

625
00:50:09.800 --> 00:50:11.599
We used to talk. Yeah, I didn't know him a

626
00:50:11.639 --> 00:50:15.599
little bit, and you know, I was interested because he

627
00:50:15.639 --> 00:50:19.320
did judo. I did karate, and you know he was

628
00:50:19.519 --> 00:50:21.480
I think he was more advanced than me, been doing

629
00:50:21.559 --> 00:50:25.679
judo a long time. But for some reason, you know,

630
00:50:25.719 --> 00:50:28.679
I kin't have had that mutual respect for him because

631
00:50:28.679 --> 00:50:31.239
we were both doing something. We both kind of understood

632
00:50:32.039 --> 00:50:35.320
what it was like to be passionate about a martial arts,

633
00:50:35.519 --> 00:50:39.000
you know, and he probably went through exactly the same

634
00:50:39.079 --> 00:50:43.239
thing of watching all the Bruce Lee movies and watching

635
00:50:43.280 --> 00:50:45.920
all the you know, all the kung Fu movies and stuff,

636
00:50:45.960 --> 00:50:49.199
because that's just natural for anyone that does martial arts,

637
00:50:49.280 --> 00:50:53.719
especially when they're a kid. But he actually just kicked

638
00:50:53.760 --> 00:50:58.639
me in the shins and closed the door, slammed the

639
00:50:58.679 --> 00:51:00.639
door on me. Didn't want me in the class room,

640
00:51:04.400 --> 00:51:07.639
and I didn't understand. There was no one else around.

641
00:51:08.920 --> 00:51:10.639
I don't know where everyone else was. I think that

642
00:51:10.719 --> 00:51:17.159
was the very last day that I was there, and

643
00:51:17.199 --> 00:51:20.159
I was just like, I really didn't know this. Like

644
00:51:20.760 --> 00:51:23.800
to this day, I still not that it doesn't matter why,

645
00:51:23.880 --> 00:51:26.519
but it still bugged me, Like doesn't bug me now,

646
00:51:26.559 --> 00:51:29.440
but it bugged me for a long time. I never

647
00:51:29.519 --> 00:51:33.599
saw the kid again. Don't think I saw any of

648
00:51:33.599 --> 00:51:43.079
them again, and I didn't know why. And it was

649
00:51:43.119 --> 00:51:45.880
such a shock. I didn't get angry I did this.

650
00:51:46.079 --> 00:51:52.000
I was just confused. It didn't hurt. Well, probably a

651
00:51:52.000 --> 00:51:54.079
little bit, but it wasn't like they weren't. It wasn't

652
00:51:54.119 --> 00:51:57.079
like he was punching me or anything, but like, you're

653
00:51:57.159 --> 00:51:59.400
kicking me in the shin the hell are you doing?

654
00:52:03.480 --> 00:52:06.400
And yeah, that's weird. That's just a really weird ending

655
00:52:06.440 --> 00:52:15.559
to being being at school unless I was in the

656
00:52:15.599 --> 00:52:18.239
other I might be maybe I was in the wrong room.

657
00:52:19.880 --> 00:52:24.039
Wait a minute, was that my school? I think it

658
00:52:24.119 --> 00:52:27.639
was my school? No me, I might have just gone

659
00:52:27.639 --> 00:52:31.159
into the wrong schooling into some random classroom and sat

660
00:52:31.239 --> 00:52:40.280
down and maybe that annoyed them. It's possible. So there's

661
00:52:40.400 --> 00:52:44.039
one really quite a vivid memory I had when I

662
00:52:44.119 --> 00:52:48.199
first got my classes. Boy was too actually my little brother,

663
00:52:48.880 --> 00:52:54.960
he was old enough to be really annoying, really annoying,

664
00:52:55.039 --> 00:52:58.719
and he kept coming up to me and putting his

665
00:52:59.480 --> 00:53:02.639
putting his finger and thumb together to make some little

666
00:53:02.960 --> 00:53:06.719
glasses and he'd like get right close to me and

667
00:53:06.800 --> 00:53:10.000
look look through them, he said, can you see me?

668
00:53:12.440 --> 00:53:14.400
I mean he was like seven I suppose at the time,

669
00:53:14.960 --> 00:53:20.280
And yeah, it was funny to start with, but he

670
00:53:20.400 --> 00:53:25.400
kept doing it, and he just like pick random objects up.

671
00:53:25.480 --> 00:53:31.639
Can you see this? That is quite funny when you

672
00:53:31.679 --> 00:53:34.639
think about it. But he just kept doing it, just

673
00:53:34.840 --> 00:53:39.840
it'd be random, and like we were all watching TV.

674
00:53:39.960 --> 00:53:42.800
I think we were watching I say all of us.

675
00:53:42.880 --> 00:53:45.000
At that point, the family was a little bit split.

676
00:53:45.400 --> 00:53:47.360
One of my brothers had moved out. I think maybe

677
00:53:47.400 --> 00:53:48.880
the other one had moved out as well. So it

678
00:53:48.880 --> 00:53:54.440
was only really me and my little brother potentially at

679
00:53:54.480 --> 00:53:58.719
that time, and my little brother. I think we're just

680
00:53:58.760 --> 00:54:02.559
watching TV. My little brother gets up stands by a

681
00:54:02.599 --> 00:54:10.000
television and says, can you see this? Like it amused

682
00:54:10.039 --> 00:54:15.400
the family, Come on, leave me alone. I'm wearing glasses.

683
00:54:16.320 --> 00:54:20.840
It's not something to make fun of. And my dad

684
00:54:20.920 --> 00:54:27.000
was leave him alone. He's only seven. I said, who

685
00:54:27.079 --> 00:54:30.320
is He said, your brother? I said, no, I know,

686
00:54:30.480 --> 00:54:33.760
I know he's only seven. And then then my dad

687
00:54:33.800 --> 00:54:36.760
said he's sitting over there. I said, I know where

688
00:54:36.760 --> 00:54:40.320
he's sitting. I can see where he was doing it. Now, like,

689
00:54:40.400 --> 00:54:43.880
can you see where it is? He asked me to

690
00:54:44.000 --> 00:54:50.119
wash his van. I said, okay. He said it's on

691
00:54:50.159 --> 00:54:53.400
the driveway. I said, and it's a van. I'm not

692
00:54:53.400 --> 00:54:57.320
going to not know where it is. It's like, it's

693
00:54:57.400 --> 00:55:01.119
just so I don't know who started doing it, my

694
00:55:01.199 --> 00:55:06.199
dad or my little brother. But then I started getting

695
00:55:06.199 --> 00:55:09.159
a little bit touchy, because you know, some people do

696
00:55:09.239 --> 00:55:14.000
that they show you something, and I started to get

697
00:55:14.039 --> 00:55:20.400
a little bit oversensitive. Maybe we were the air show

698
00:55:21.920 --> 00:55:25.199
and I remember my auntie saying, oh that the red

699
00:55:25.440 --> 00:55:27.679
the red arrows are coming soon. So we're all waiting

700
00:55:27.679 --> 00:55:30.639
for the Red Arrows, but there's loads of other planes

701
00:55:30.679 --> 00:55:35.480
as well, and my Auntie said, the Red Arrows are coming.

702
00:55:35.559 --> 00:55:39.440
I said, okay, she said they're there. I was like,

703
00:55:39.920 --> 00:55:43.360
there there, Look, I said, I can see. I do

704
00:55:43.440 --> 00:55:46.880
have eyes, you know. But she wasn't being rude. She

705
00:55:46.960 --> 00:55:50.599
was just pointing where they were, and the fact is

706
00:55:50.679 --> 00:55:53.039
I couldn't see where they were. So I'm glad that

707
00:55:53.079 --> 00:55:57.280
she told me. It wasn't really you know, I only

708
00:55:57.360 --> 00:56:00.000
got hit by a car once because I was ignored

709
00:56:00.079 --> 00:56:01.719
and someone that was telling me that the car was

710
00:56:01.760 --> 00:56:06.559
coming towards me because it annoyed me. So I'm walking

711
00:56:06.639 --> 00:56:10.480
across a zebra crossing and someone showing, wait, look, look

712
00:56:10.559 --> 00:56:12.960
is a car coming. It's not stopping because it was

713
00:56:13.000 --> 00:56:16.079
speeding and maybe I think please were after it or something,

714
00:56:16.519 --> 00:56:20.840
and I'm like, can't you see it? Look like, shut up,

715
00:56:20.920 --> 00:56:23.760
I've got glasses. They're just glasses. And then I look

716
00:56:23.800 --> 00:56:26.119
over and I have to sort of jump out the way.

717
00:56:26.920 --> 00:56:31.440
Another time, I'm talking to a friend from karate and

718
00:56:31.480 --> 00:56:35.599
he's he's an adult, so he's working up above Tesco's

719
00:56:35.719 --> 00:56:38.320
in a shipping office. So I'm just looking at it

720
00:56:38.480 --> 00:56:42.440
really high build I'm just waving to him because saying alone,

721
00:56:42.480 --> 00:56:45.320
you know, because I just went my way home, and

722
00:56:45.320 --> 00:56:50.119
he started shouting look, look and pointing behind me. I

723
00:56:50.159 --> 00:56:53.440
was like, oh, you're don't start now, come on, we

724
00:56:53.480 --> 00:56:55.639
were getting on, so well, why have you got a start.

725
00:56:56.679 --> 00:57:00.159
It's bad enough it's at home, it's a school. Now

726
00:57:00.199 --> 00:57:06.119
it's karate people doing it. And he's like, well. It

727
00:57:06.119 --> 00:57:10.559
turned out it was a van backing and it bumped

728
00:57:10.559 --> 00:57:14.679
into me. Luckily it wasn't going fast, but it was

729
00:57:14.719 --> 00:57:17.320
backing study you know, when I go do do do

730
00:57:17.320 --> 00:57:19.519
do do like that, it was making a sound, but

731
00:57:19.559 --> 00:57:22.599
I didn't wasn't listening because I was focusing on what

732
00:57:22.639 --> 00:57:26.480
I was what I was talking about, and probably when

733
00:57:26.519 --> 00:57:28.360
he was talking, I was focusing on what I was

734
00:57:28.360 --> 00:57:30.360
going to say next. I wasn't really listening to what

735
00:57:30.440 --> 00:57:34.280
he was saying. But when he started pointing, hey, look,

736
00:57:34.320 --> 00:57:38.920
look like, I really took offence stopped saying, look like,

737
00:57:39.000 --> 00:57:43.480
I can't see anything, and yeah, So I had a

738
00:57:43.519 --> 00:57:46.719
band back a van back over me, but luckily it

739
00:57:46.800 --> 00:57:49.719
just hit my back and knocked me, kind of knocked

740
00:57:49.719 --> 00:57:52.360
me out of the way. But it wasn't moving particularly fast.

741
00:57:56.679 --> 00:58:00.039
But one of my memories of wearing glasses when I

742
00:58:00.079 --> 00:58:06.280
first got them, and this is just explain how I was.

743
00:58:06.519 --> 00:58:15.440
I've always been like this. This was a it was

744
00:58:15.480 --> 00:58:20.320
one of them days, of one of them days where

745
00:58:20.519 --> 00:58:25.639
I had to get away. I had to remove myself

746
00:58:25.679 --> 00:58:30.400
from the situation. I had to be on my own.

747
00:58:31.840 --> 00:58:35.159
I was semi running away cat to be on my own.

748
00:58:35.239 --> 00:58:38.840
It was one of them things. And I walked to

749
00:58:38.920 --> 00:58:46.639
the next town on my own, wearing my glasses, and

750
00:58:46.800 --> 00:58:48.679
I just followed the bus route so I could get

751
00:58:48.679 --> 00:58:52.079
back again, which was actually quick. It was a much

752
00:58:52.119 --> 00:58:54.880
longer route actually, but it meant I knew how to

753
00:58:54.880 --> 00:59:04.400
get back. So it took me probably five hours to

754
00:59:04.480 --> 00:59:09.199
get there, and I maybe seven hours. I think I

755
00:59:09.280 --> 00:59:15.199
might just got the bus back, but it was a

756
00:59:15.280 --> 00:59:21.039
sunny day probably I'm saying. I'm thinking maybe April time,

757
00:59:22.880 --> 00:59:37.039
just after leaving school, possibly on a weekday, and I

758
00:59:37.039 --> 00:59:39.280
I mean, technically it's probably not a good idea, but

759
00:59:39.599 --> 00:59:42.159
I was walking at the side of the road on

760
00:59:42.280 --> 00:59:45.760
the grass verge. There wasn't any pavements most of the

761
00:59:45.840 --> 00:59:49.199
journey because once we got out of the town, a

762
00:59:49.199 --> 00:59:52.519
lot of countryside between or in England, it's just huge

763
00:59:52.559 --> 00:59:58.679
amounts of countryside surrounding everywhere, every town, every village, every city,

764
00:59:58.760 --> 01:00:03.400
it's the countryside. So I'm just following the route. I've

765
01:00:03.400 --> 01:00:09.440
done the route many times, many times, I've I've done

766
01:00:09.440 --> 01:00:12.519
the route a few times. I hadn't really gotten a

767
01:00:12.599 --> 01:00:16.280
bust that many times as a kid on my own. Well,

768
01:00:16.280 --> 01:00:17.519
I don't think I ever went on my own. I

769
01:00:17.559 --> 01:00:21.360
was also with her friend. So yeah, so I'm walking

770
01:00:21.440 --> 01:00:31.039
and it was very peaceful, very meditative, very I don't know.

771
01:00:31.599 --> 01:00:36.119
I was just thinking about things and a real, real

772
01:00:36.159 --> 01:00:41.280
good think, real good. It was like a separation from

773
01:00:42.000 --> 01:00:52.199
all the stuff that was going on, and it felt nice.

774
01:00:53.039 --> 01:00:57.119
I was hungry, though, but it felt nice. So it

775
01:00:57.159 --> 01:01:01.199
took me six six to seven hours walking in it,

776
01:01:01.400 --> 01:01:05.159
and probably got blisters and all that stuff, but got

777
01:01:05.159 --> 01:01:09.960
the bus home. No one knew I was gone, No

778
01:01:10.000 --> 01:01:14.119
one noticed I hadn't been around. But there was no

779
01:01:14.159 --> 01:01:17.159
reason for them too anyway, because at that time, the

780
01:01:17.199 --> 01:01:21.639
whole family was busy. People were just busy doing stuff,

781
01:01:22.960 --> 01:01:27.559
and two of my brothers weren't really around anymore. My

782
01:01:27.599 --> 01:01:34.760
little brother was what seven eight, yeah, seven or eight,

783
01:01:35.119 --> 01:01:38.719
so he was kind of doing his own thing as well.

784
01:01:41.679 --> 01:01:46.840
Both parents were working, So yeah, I was kind of

785
01:01:46.920 --> 01:01:50.599
just you know, I think kind of the family had

786
01:01:50.800 --> 01:01:54.880
pretty much at that point, the family had kind of

787
01:01:54.880 --> 01:02:03.519
come to an end. And then you know, by by

788
01:02:03.599 --> 01:02:07.760
this summer, the summer, I don't know when it was.

789
01:02:07.880 --> 01:02:18.880
It might have been May, maytime, maybe June, we moved

790
01:02:18.920 --> 01:02:26.280
out and stayed in my step mom's mom's flat until

791
01:02:26.360 --> 01:02:31.960
she moved away. So that was, Yeah, that was kind

792
01:02:31.960 --> 01:02:35.960
of a weird, weird period. And I didn't wear my

793
01:02:35.960 --> 01:02:43.280
glasses at all after that, like never ever again, didn't

794
01:02:43.320 --> 01:02:49.519
wear them. And then I the next time I went

795
01:02:49.599 --> 01:02:54.039
to see if I needed glasses was again I was.

796
01:02:54.679 --> 01:02:58.480
This was nineteen eighty nine. It's a few years later,

797
01:02:58.960 --> 01:03:05.679
nineteen eighty nine in London, and I wanted to get

798
01:03:05.719 --> 01:03:08.400
back to reading again because i'd had a break from reading.

799
01:03:09.840 --> 01:03:11.840
We're not a completely break, but I hadn't really read

800
01:03:11.920 --> 01:03:14.159
much for a little while for a few months, and

801
01:03:14.199 --> 01:03:17.360
I thought, and I didn't have any hardly any of

802
01:03:17.400 --> 01:03:20.559
my belongings in London, because I'd left them at my

803
01:03:20.639 --> 01:03:29.039
dad's just store in storage and not they had much stuff,

804
01:03:29.079 --> 01:03:31.400
but I think it was under a bed. But there's

805
01:03:31.400 --> 01:03:35.360
a lot of the videos and some books and stuff

806
01:03:35.400 --> 01:03:39.559
you know. So what I did is I went to

807
01:03:39.599 --> 01:03:48.360
the opticians thinking, and they said, I just need glasses

808
01:03:48.400 --> 01:03:50.840
for reading. I don't need them all the time, just

809
01:03:51.239 --> 01:03:55.760
for reading. I said, okay, cool. So and that's when

810
01:03:55.760 --> 01:03:58.960
I started. I bought a couple of books and I

811
01:03:59.039 --> 01:04:03.039
got back into reading again because it was always a passion,

812
01:04:03.239 --> 01:04:08.199
and I not always of I was born reading, but

813
01:04:10.440 --> 01:04:14.079
I kind of taught myself to read. Really with my book,

814
01:04:15.400 --> 01:04:17.480
it's over there somewhere on the bookcase. It was a

815
01:04:17.599 --> 01:04:24.599
Jack and Ry still I've literally memorized. I memorized it.

816
01:04:26.039 --> 01:04:27.960
And this is bearing in mind I haven't watched I

817
01:04:28.000 --> 01:04:32.199
haven't read this book since I was a little kid, okay,

818
01:04:32.519 --> 01:04:36.159
but I learned to read with it. And in the

819
01:04:36.199 --> 01:04:41.280
first the first page is a little rhyme, I'll tell

820
01:04:41.280 --> 01:04:44.000
you a story about Jack and Ry, and now my story.

821
01:04:44.880 --> 01:04:49.599
I'll tell you story. When I said, I memorized it,

822
01:04:51.400 --> 01:04:54.239
I'll tell you a story about Jack and Ry, and

823
01:04:54.280 --> 01:04:56.920
now my story has begun. I'll tell you another about

824
01:04:57.000 --> 01:05:02.960
Jack and his brother, and now my story is done.

825
01:05:03.559 --> 01:05:05.239
I tried to look for it the other day, I

826
01:05:05.280 --> 01:05:07.159
think while I was doing a recording, I could not

827
01:05:07.320 --> 01:05:12.599
find it. It's definitely there because I found it online.

828
01:05:12.960 --> 01:05:17.039
Because it's basically about Jack, Jack and the bean Stalk,

829
01:05:17.119 --> 01:05:19.559
and I think there's a few different stories about Jack,

830
01:05:22.039 --> 01:05:24.079
and that was what Jack and Noy was based on,

831
01:05:24.159 --> 01:05:29.119
which was a really famous TV show where people would

832
01:05:29.159 --> 01:05:31.760
just tell a story. They'd read out of a book

833
01:05:31.760 --> 01:05:37.559
and tell a story. And I, I said, taught myself

834
01:05:37.599 --> 01:05:39.760
to read. I mean, I'm sure that you know I

835
01:05:39.760 --> 01:05:45.360
did go to school and stuff at that time, but

836
01:05:45.440 --> 01:05:50.199
because I was what six, maybe six five or six,

837
01:05:51.079 --> 01:05:56.840
I moved around so much that I didn't I don't

838
01:05:56.840 --> 01:06:01.480
think I really had any kind of stable education as

839
01:06:01.519 --> 01:06:07.000
it were. And then when I moved to with my dad,

840
01:06:07.559 --> 01:06:15.880
I was seven and I was told by one of

841
01:06:15.920 --> 01:06:21.159
my parents that I was behind. Basically, I was behind

842
01:06:21.280 --> 01:06:25.079
because I was told I've been taught the wrong way.

843
01:06:25.960 --> 01:06:30.400
That's what the teachers told her. That it sounded like

844
01:06:30.400 --> 01:06:32.440
I've been told I've been taught the wrong way. I

845
01:06:32.480 --> 01:06:35.559
was behind. I mean, probably just being hind to me,

846
01:06:35.639 --> 01:06:37.159
trying to explain it to me in a way that

847
01:06:37.199 --> 01:06:43.320
I might understand it. So basically what it meant I

848
01:06:43.440 --> 01:06:54.079
was in educational terms. Now, I guess remedial or special

849
01:06:54.119 --> 01:07:00.239
needs educational terms. Back then, I was a dunce. You know,

850
01:07:00.280 --> 01:07:01.920
it was a little bit different back then. This is

851
01:07:02.039 --> 01:07:10.119
nineteen seventy seven. Someone that was behind educationally was called

852
01:07:10.119 --> 01:07:16.039
a dance. It's not good, really, it's not now, but

853
01:07:17.000 --> 01:07:20.360
that's what I was kind of classed as. But that's

854
01:07:20.400 --> 01:07:23.079
not how she she said that. She told me I

855
01:07:23.159 --> 01:07:26.119
was special. Now I didn't realize that meant special needs.

856
01:07:27.000 --> 01:07:29.880
But when she said I was special, I felt special,

857
01:07:31.199 --> 01:07:38.840
like loved, like I was, you know, special. Maybe she

858
01:07:38.960 --> 01:07:41.719
was about to say needs, but I just like made

859
01:07:41.760 --> 01:07:45.159
such a big I was so gushy and smiling when

860
01:07:45.239 --> 01:07:48.719
she said special. She thought, perhaps I won't say the

861
01:07:48.760 --> 01:07:55.760
word needs. Had a conversation with my dad later in

862
01:07:55.800 --> 01:07:58.639
the evening. Probably didn't they. So did you have a

863
01:07:58.679 --> 01:08:01.440
chat with him? Yeah, did you tell him that he

864
01:08:01.519 --> 01:08:06.920
special needs? Well? I told him part of it. But

865
01:08:06.920 --> 01:08:11.639
he seems so happy, he said, yeah, but he's happy.

866
01:08:11.639 --> 01:08:13.320
All you've got to do is just wave a banana

867
01:08:13.360 --> 01:08:17.560
around and that gets his attention. He's happy. That's not true.

868
01:08:18.399 --> 01:08:25.800
I do like bananas, but not quite that distractable. Give

869
01:08:25.880 --> 01:08:30.520
him a cardboard but give him a cardboard box. That's

870
01:08:30.560 --> 01:08:36.800
all he needs. It's like, no I mean, cardboard boxes

871
01:08:36.800 --> 01:08:41.359
were fun, but it's not all I needed. Also, I

872
01:08:41.359 --> 01:08:49.000
love television, so anyway, i'd kind of taught myself, I think,

873
01:08:49.039 --> 01:08:52.600
to read. Maybe I taught myself wrongly to read, but

874
01:08:55.479 --> 01:09:02.239
I think I ended up quite okay verbally. I think

875
01:09:02.319 --> 01:09:07.239
I was. I don't think I was behind verbally. And

876
01:09:07.279 --> 01:09:12.119
there's advantages to there's advantages to moving around a lot

877
01:09:12.119 --> 01:09:15.600
when you're little. From a verbal perspective, I think you

878
01:09:15.680 --> 01:09:20.399
get to learn quite you know, verbally, get to not always.

879
01:09:20.439 --> 01:09:22.960
But I think in my case, I think I became

880
01:09:23.119 --> 01:09:27.640
verbally quite competent being around adults a lot. That's another thing.

881
01:09:28.880 --> 01:09:31.479
Living in a kid's home with lots of other kids,

882
01:09:32.479 --> 01:09:36.000
there's lots of conversations all the time, you know, it's

883
01:09:36.680 --> 01:09:40.079
living in dormitories and stuff like that. So I didn't

884
01:09:40.359 --> 01:09:42.880
really get any time to myself, but there was a

885
01:09:42.920 --> 01:09:45.439
lot of conversations going on. So I was hearing a

886
01:09:45.439 --> 01:09:55.560
lot of verbal stuff and absorbing that. So I think,

887
01:09:55.720 --> 01:09:58.319
you know, I think that my verbal skills would probably

888
01:09:58.319 --> 01:10:03.079
be quite good, but everything else was may being not

889
01:10:04.680 --> 01:10:11.560
so good. My mathematics skills was still Yeah, it was

890
01:10:11.680 --> 01:10:13.520
never really a thing for me, and it wasn't really

891
01:10:14.840 --> 01:10:20.680
it wasn't really my forte as it were, nor science,

892
01:10:20.760 --> 01:10:27.359
nor geography, nor history anything. Really the only subject I

893
01:10:27.520 --> 01:10:34.920
liked too Ari and English Ari because I suppose in

894
01:10:34.960 --> 01:10:37.920
a way I had a little bit of an advantage

895
01:10:38.560 --> 01:10:41.000
being part, you know, for a couple of years being

896
01:10:41.079 --> 01:10:44.279
raised by nuns kind of church every day. I kind

897
01:10:44.279 --> 01:10:52.119
of understood the groundings of like Christianity or Catholicism or

898
01:10:52.159 --> 01:10:54.000
you know that kind of stuff. I guess I had

899
01:10:54.039 --> 01:10:57.319
a little bit more of an understanding of it, so

900
01:10:57.359 --> 01:11:04.880
it wasn't too difficult. Plus, both the IRA teachers I had,

901
01:11:04.880 --> 01:11:07.640
because I only had two IRA teachers this is religious

902
01:11:07.760 --> 01:11:11.840
education and throughout my high school. And they were both lovely.

903
01:11:12.079 --> 01:11:16.319
They're both to my best teachers. So I wasn't interested

904
01:11:16.359 --> 01:11:22.239
in the subject really, not to start with. But it was,

905
01:11:22.600 --> 01:11:26.319
you know, it was more they were lovely. I liked

906
01:11:26.319 --> 01:11:29.800
being in the class because the teachers were lovely, And

907
01:11:30.760 --> 01:11:32.880
which is something that I think a lot of teachers

908
01:11:32.920 --> 01:11:42.159
could learn from. Is actually sometimes just I think just

909
01:11:42.199 --> 01:11:47.239
being nice, just being nice. In them days, there was

910
01:11:47.279 --> 01:11:53.840
a lot of strict teachers. It was where I was,

911
01:11:54.000 --> 01:11:58.359
it wasn't I think it was kind of like children

912
01:11:58.359 --> 01:12:03.880
should be seeing not heard kind of attitude. So it's

913
01:12:03.880 --> 01:12:06.319
a little bit different to how it is now. I

914
01:12:06.359 --> 01:12:08.239
don't know how it is now. I don't have kids

915
01:12:09.640 --> 01:12:13.079
and I live on a council estate, so kids are

916
01:12:13.079 --> 01:12:16.199
definitely not treated that they should be seen and not heard.

917
01:12:16.760 --> 01:12:22.600
They're definitely heard. So it's I don't know what it's

918
01:12:22.680 --> 01:12:29.520
like in the mainstream country people around the country. But

919
01:12:32.159 --> 01:12:34.760
I'm talking about glasses and I'm talking about reading now.

920
01:12:37.000 --> 01:12:43.640
It's just I was in like a remedial class once

921
01:12:43.680 --> 01:12:46.039
a week. I was just taken that. And I've talked

922
01:12:46.079 --> 01:12:49.079
about this before, but I had my maths teacher, mister Johnson.

923
01:12:49.239 --> 01:12:57.000
It was lovely, big beard, lovely man, really friendly and

924
01:12:57.399 --> 01:13:00.640
he actually I think if I'd ever had him as

925
01:13:00.680 --> 01:13:06.239
my masth teacher all the way through high school. I'm

926
01:13:06.239 --> 01:13:10.279
not saying that I would have gone on to do

927
01:13:10.359 --> 01:13:14.800
a level or anything like that, or even well, I

928
01:13:14.800 --> 01:13:18.000
think I might have gone on to do GCSA, which

929
01:13:18.039 --> 01:13:20.439
I didn't did. I wasn't even that level to do.

930
01:13:20.560 --> 01:13:23.119
I had to. I did CS which is something you

931
01:13:23.199 --> 01:13:26.520
get like city and guilds. That's the kinds of things

932
01:13:26.520 --> 01:13:31.359
you get for block clearing, toilets, and stuff back then,

933
01:13:32.479 --> 01:13:35.439
and I think it's a bit higher now, but it

934
01:13:35.560 --> 01:13:39.159
was very low when it comes to it's City and

935
01:13:39.239 --> 01:13:43.399
Gills as of people that are not academic. Really back

936
01:13:43.439 --> 01:13:49.960
then it was it was the lowest level, and it's

937
01:13:50.000 --> 01:13:52.880
different now. So I'm saying I'm not not going to

938
01:13:52.920 --> 01:13:55.159
be rude against City and Gills because there's going to

939
01:13:55.199 --> 01:13:58.479
be people probably taking City and Girls now. But back then,

940
01:14:00.439 --> 01:14:05.479
City and Gills and Maths was not an accomplishment. Necessarily

941
01:14:05.800 --> 01:14:08.279
it would have been for me because I didn't pass it.

942
01:14:08.319 --> 01:14:10.439
So if I had passed the City and Guilds, it

943
01:14:10.439 --> 01:14:14.640
would have been a really good accomplishment. But I didn't

944
01:14:14.680 --> 01:14:25.359
get any qualifications. I got you, which apparently is it

945
01:14:25.399 --> 01:14:30.960
stands for unclassified, so I got unclassified for every single thing.

946
01:14:32.760 --> 01:14:34.880
I'm not sure if I got a bit higher grade

947
01:14:34.880 --> 01:14:41.600
for English. If I'm honest, I think I might have

948
01:14:41.640 --> 01:14:43.960
actually passed English or might have been, but it still

949
01:14:44.000 --> 01:14:50.199
would have been low. Although English was the only, probably

950
01:14:50.199 --> 01:14:59.119
the only subject that I was adequate in. But the

951
01:14:59.159 --> 01:15:04.760
problem with English is I didn't like it. I did

952
01:15:04.800 --> 01:15:10.279
to start with when I was in junior school, loved English, practicing, writing, practicing, handwriting,

953
01:15:10.960 --> 01:15:15.279
reading books, I would take I got. I read every

954
01:15:15.319 --> 01:15:18.079
single book in the library. They had a little library

955
01:15:18.079 --> 01:15:21.479
in the English room, and it was just you know,

956
01:15:21.520 --> 01:15:24.119
little books. But I'd take them home and i'd finish them,

957
01:15:24.199 --> 01:15:27.239
so it would start reading them in class, would take

958
01:15:27.479 --> 01:15:30.640
turns reading it out loud and things. I'd take the

959
01:15:30.680 --> 01:15:32.600
book home with me and i'd read it overnight and

960
01:15:32.640 --> 01:15:35.640
bring it back. And I did it to every single book.

961
01:15:36.359 --> 01:15:38.439
Sometimes I take like two or three home at night

962
01:15:38.520 --> 01:15:43.079
the weekend. I'd bring them back and i'd get permission.

963
01:15:43.119 --> 01:15:46.720
I wouldn't just take them because I was a good boy.

964
01:15:48.680 --> 01:15:55.039
And this is possibly before I got my library card,

965
01:15:58.279 --> 01:16:00.680
although it might not have been if I don't know.

966
01:16:00.720 --> 01:16:06.279
Maybe it was because yeah, I was nine, I'm not sure.

967
01:16:06.319 --> 01:16:09.119
I don't think I had my library card it nine,

968
01:16:10.479 --> 01:16:17.560
and so I loved English. I was more interested in

969
01:16:17.600 --> 01:16:21.119
crafts than doing other things. So I think like history,

970
01:16:23.520 --> 01:16:25.279
you know, would be talking about Romans, and I'm thinking,

971
01:16:25.279 --> 01:16:29.319
what are you telling me about Romans? For? What are

972
01:16:29.359 --> 01:16:31.359
you telling me about the Saxons? Are you telling me

973
01:16:31.439 --> 01:16:38.079
about the Why? What are you talking about Napoleon? For?

974
01:16:39.680 --> 01:16:43.560
It is just I think the only interesting thing about

975
01:16:43.600 --> 01:16:47.920
history would be probably about if they'd done the history

976
01:16:47.960 --> 01:16:50.039
of the town I was living in, or if they

977
01:16:50.079 --> 01:16:55.000
had talked about the history of television or the history

978
01:16:55.199 --> 01:17:02.520
of my family or something like that would have been

979
01:17:02.560 --> 01:17:08.960
interesting to me, I guess. So I kind of went

980
01:17:08.960 --> 01:17:11.079
along with it, and I just sat at the back

981
01:17:11.159 --> 01:17:19.319
and and just hid really and then I I was

982
01:17:19.359 --> 01:17:27.199
another thing. Oh yeah, that when I was eight, I

983
01:17:27.439 --> 01:17:31.840
was I had my adnoids out because I was having

984
01:17:31.880 --> 01:17:34.479
problems with my ears. I was getting earaches, and then

985
01:17:34.520 --> 01:17:40.319
I had had my head hit. It turned out I

986
01:17:40.359 --> 01:17:45.199
was partially deaf in one ear, so I had my

987
01:17:45.640 --> 01:17:49.279
adnoids out because I was blocked. Basically, the ear was

988
01:17:49.319 --> 01:17:55.439
blocked so to clear it out, so I should be okay.

989
01:17:55.640 --> 01:17:58.000
So this is eight years old, so I was partially

990
01:17:58.039 --> 01:18:02.279
deaf for however many years didn't even know it, didn't

991
01:18:02.319 --> 01:18:07.199
even know it, didn't even show it. I remember being

992
01:18:07.199 --> 01:18:11.000
in hospital and like listening to the and I had

993
01:18:11.000 --> 01:18:16.520
to like tap every time, and I could like I

994
01:18:16.640 --> 01:18:18.880
do it with both years. One ear was really clear,

995
01:18:19.359 --> 01:18:22.680
which I think is my left ear still is right

996
01:18:22.960 --> 01:18:25.279
right ear it's not so good as the left ear.

997
01:18:26.119 --> 01:18:29.880
So the right ear was like, I mean, it's it's

998
01:18:29.920 --> 01:18:37.039
all it feels it's to me, it seems like the

999
01:18:37.279 --> 01:18:40.800
volume is lower when I talk on on my right phone,

1000
01:18:40.960 --> 01:18:42.880
if I put my if I put my phone on

1001
01:18:42.880 --> 01:18:46.359
my right ear, it feels like the volume is lower.

1002
01:18:47.039 --> 01:18:48.960
But I did have an eye test a few years ago,

1003
01:18:49.159 --> 01:18:52.800
and eye test and ear test, but it wasn't Specsavers

1004
01:18:53.279 --> 01:18:56.079
had ear tests and they said, yeah, here's fine. So

1005
01:18:57.680 --> 01:19:01.920
it might just be psychological. I don't know, but anyway,

1006
01:19:02.039 --> 01:19:05.239
this was real. So I definitely had a like a

1007
01:19:05.279 --> 01:19:10.439
hearing issue, but it was fixable. I remember. It's so

1008
01:19:10.560 --> 01:19:17.880
funny because after I'd had the op, came home for

1009
01:19:17.920 --> 01:19:22.159
the next year or so, whenever someone called over to

1010
01:19:22.199 --> 01:19:25.560
me and I said I didn't hear them. Maybe I

1011
01:19:25.600 --> 01:19:28.600
was focusing on something else. I didn't hear them. My

1012
01:19:28.680 --> 01:19:31.079
dad would shout out, that's it, we're going back to

1013
01:19:31.119 --> 01:19:33.880
the doctors. We're going to get his ears tested. Like

1014
01:19:35.840 --> 01:19:38.520
it's like. Because I was in the house full of

1015
01:19:38.600 --> 01:19:45.239
three four kids including myself and two adults, I had

1016
01:19:45.279 --> 01:19:49.479
to block off that sound. It was too much. I

1017
01:19:49.520 --> 01:19:52.079
had to kind of go inside myself to block it off.

1018
01:19:52.479 --> 01:19:56.439
So when someone did shout out my name or I

1019
01:19:56.520 --> 01:20:01.880
would sometimes I wouldn't hear it because I had to

1020
01:20:01.960 --> 01:20:04.079
in order for me to watch TV in a room

1021
01:20:04.159 --> 01:20:08.800
with how many people was at three for five other people,

1022
01:20:10.880 --> 01:20:15.560
that's those three kids, four kids and two adults. So

1023
01:20:16.439 --> 01:20:21.000
three other kids, two adults watching the TV. Even if

1024
01:20:21.039 --> 01:20:23.720
they weren't talking, there was like rustling of bags and

1025
01:20:23.880 --> 01:20:29.840
food and fidgeting, and there was maybe traffic outside and

1026
01:20:30.199 --> 01:20:34.760
you know, just general sounds. I had to really zone

1027
01:20:34.840 --> 01:20:37.319
them out in order to watch the TV and hear it.

1028
01:20:39.680 --> 01:20:41.760
So they were talking to me and I wouldn't hear them.

1029
01:20:42.159 --> 01:20:44.720
It wasn't because I wasn't listening. It's just because I

1030
01:20:44.800 --> 01:20:50.560
was focused. I had the zoned them out. I'd removed

1031
01:20:50.560 --> 01:20:56.800
them from the situation, removed them from my peripheral vision,

1032
01:20:57.039 --> 01:21:01.680
removed them from my thoughts of just focused on the TV.

1033
01:21:02.920 --> 01:21:06.319
And this is the only way I could really watch it.

1034
01:21:06.560 --> 01:21:10.000
I mean, even now, it seems like I'm just talking

1035
01:21:10.000 --> 01:21:13.840
about my inadequacy, doesn't it, But maybe I am. Maybe

1036
01:21:13.880 --> 01:21:18.520
that's what it is. But wearing glasses is not an inadequacy.

1037
01:21:18.720 --> 01:21:22.000
Wearing glasses is just it's just a natural thing. Millions

1038
01:21:22.000 --> 01:21:25.000
and millions of people with them, including me, and there's

1039
01:21:25.039 --> 01:21:30.800
nothing wrong with it. So but this for some reason,

1040
01:21:32.439 --> 01:21:39.439
I can't have someone sitting next to me, like if

1041
01:21:39.840 --> 01:21:42.359
when I'm at home, bearing in mind, this is the

1042
01:21:42.399 --> 01:21:45.720
most relaxed place I'm going to be. Really is being

1043
01:21:45.800 --> 01:21:48.800
here a part of I mean the most relaxed place

1044
01:21:48.840 --> 01:21:52.000
I probably ever was before this was my name's. If

1045
01:21:52.000 --> 01:21:53.640
I was sitting in the room with my name, I

1046
01:21:53.680 --> 01:21:59.680
was relaxed in a way that probably I wasn't. I mean,

1047
01:22:00.279 --> 01:22:03.920
more safety thing, to be fair, emotionally, I felt safe

1048
01:22:03.960 --> 01:22:11.279
with her, but I was relaxed with her here. It's

1049
01:22:11.279 --> 01:22:13.199
probably the only place that I would say I'd probably

1050
01:22:13.279 --> 01:22:16.840
feel relaxed when that front door was locked and I

1051
01:22:16.960 --> 01:22:19.560
got a finny cudled up next to me and I'm

1052
01:22:19.600 --> 01:22:22.399
just stroking him or got my arm resting on him.

1053
01:22:22.680 --> 01:22:29.079
It's relaxing and relaxed. Put someone put up human beings

1054
01:22:29.119 --> 01:22:31.720
sitting next to me, and I will not feel relaxed.

1055
01:22:33.479 --> 01:22:37.880
And I'm not talking like some random stranger, just anyone,

1056
01:22:38.159 --> 01:22:40.439
anyone I know. I don't want them sitting next to me.

1057
01:22:40.560 --> 01:22:45.960
I cannot sit next to someone on a sofa, and

1058
01:22:46.000 --> 01:22:50.239
that includes even Luke, my friend downstairs. He'd always sit

1059
01:22:50.279 --> 01:22:54.039
on a different chair. I'd have a chair separate for him,

1060
01:22:54.479 --> 01:22:55.920
or he could sit on a sofa and I'd sit

1061
01:22:55.960 --> 01:22:58.680
on a chair. You know, I wouldn't like he'd have

1062
01:22:58.680 --> 01:23:01.520
a choice, so he'd sit on the sofa if I

1063
01:23:01.560 --> 01:23:03.479
was at the table. So if I was at my desk,

1064
01:23:04.560 --> 01:23:07.720
he'd sit on the sofa and we'd watch TV together,

1065
01:23:07.880 --> 01:23:12.359
or I'd be doing stuff and we'd chat. But if

1066
01:23:12.439 --> 01:23:15.079
I was sitting if we're watching TV together, which we

1067
01:23:15.159 --> 01:23:20.079
didn't do that much, but if we're watching boxing, I

1068
01:23:20.199 --> 01:23:22.439
like to be comfortable when I'm watching boxing, and I

1069
01:23:22.560 --> 01:23:25.199
like to be in the sofa with my legs up,

1070
01:23:25.319 --> 01:23:27.840
or in the chair with my legs up. Because I

1071
01:23:27.920 --> 01:23:32.279
used to have accl not recycling reclining chair. That's it.

1072
01:23:32.439 --> 01:23:38.640
I used to have a reclining chair, and I had

1073
01:23:38.640 --> 01:23:41.159
that for a few years. I've had this one for

1074
01:23:43.279 --> 01:23:45.239
I probably had these world for a few years there

1075
01:23:45.279 --> 01:23:52.960
as well. But the last few years he was with

1076
01:23:53.039 --> 01:23:56.840
the boxing, he would sit on a chair while I

1077
01:23:56.840 --> 01:23:59.399
sat on the sofa because and I'd always make sure

1078
01:23:59.439 --> 01:24:02.520
that it was stuff on the other because there's two chairs,

1079
01:24:02.800 --> 01:24:06.720
two seats on the sofa. The other side of the sofa,

1080
01:24:06.720 --> 01:24:13.119
it's always got stuff on it. It's never empty. This

1081
01:24:13.279 --> 01:24:18.319
is before I got Vinnie. I used to just keep that.

1082
01:24:18.319 --> 01:24:20.560
That's where that's just stuff, where it's a book where

1083
01:24:20.600 --> 01:24:23.800
I can write stuff in a book I'm reading, whether

1084
01:24:23.840 --> 01:24:27.000
it's laptop, whatever, it's all stuff that's my little like

1085
01:24:27.039 --> 01:24:34.039
a little desk kind of People don't sit there, and

1086
01:24:34.119 --> 01:24:39.960
I can't sit next to someone. I can't. It's especially

1087
01:24:40.479 --> 01:24:44.520
I mean TV or just it's about doable, but I

1088
01:24:44.560 --> 01:24:45.880
can't do it. I don't do it if I don't

1089
01:24:45.920 --> 01:24:50.960
have to. But having a conversation, it's too close. I

1090
01:24:51.000 --> 01:24:53.560
need distance when I'm talking to someone. I need distance.

1091
01:24:53.600 --> 01:24:57.399
I need at least maybe six to ten foot or

1092
01:24:57.479 --> 01:25:01.880
six foot probably just this not a far enough away

1093
01:25:01.960 --> 01:25:06.159
so that I need binoculars, but just you know, or

1094
01:25:06.199 --> 01:25:11.199
that they need to use a loud speaker. But I do.

1095
01:25:12.680 --> 01:25:15.439
I need that distance because I struggle to focus with

1096
01:25:15.479 --> 01:25:19.840
my eyes if someone is too close, like I don't

1097
01:25:19.840 --> 01:25:26.159
know what that is. Which makes being on a bus

1098
01:25:26.359 --> 01:25:29.920
a little bit difficult. And it's great if there's no

1099
01:25:29.960 --> 01:25:35.880
one on the bus, but a busy bus all I'd

1100
01:25:36.000 --> 01:25:44.920
rather stand. I'd rather stand and pretty much be sniffing

1101
01:25:44.960 --> 01:25:47.760
someone's arm pit. And I don't want to smith sniff

1102
01:25:47.800 --> 01:25:50.399
someone's armp. I'm saying, I'd rather stand and be like

1103
01:25:50.680 --> 01:25:53.239
squashed standing up than have someone sitting next to me.

1104
01:25:55.319 --> 01:25:59.680
It's you know, I suppose it's because my belly does

1105
01:26:00.039 --> 01:26:04.079
give me distance. Someone might be in it on my bum.

1106
01:26:04.159 --> 01:26:08.439
We've got such a big bum, big belly that people

1107
01:26:08.479 --> 01:26:12.720
can't really get too close to me if I'm standing up,

1108
01:26:14.079 --> 01:26:18.159
which is good. Oh, I really paint a terrible picture

1109
01:26:18.159 --> 01:26:28.239
of my body, That's what I was going to say.

1110
01:26:28.399 --> 01:26:34.119
Oh yeah, So it turned out that after I had

1111
01:26:35.239 --> 01:26:38.800
my ears thing done, the teachers were saying they now,

1112
01:26:38.800 --> 01:26:42.520
they said, oh, he's so behind because he couldn't hear

1113
01:26:42.520 --> 01:26:45.199
what was being said in the classroom, and he was

1114
01:26:45.199 --> 01:26:47.600
always sitting at the back of the talking about me

1115
01:26:47.680 --> 01:26:51.800
always sitting at the back of the classroom and didn't

1116
01:26:53.199 --> 01:26:58.840
didn't pretty much. I wasn't able to hear what was

1117
01:26:58.880 --> 01:27:04.159
going on well enough. It's like they were trying to

1118
01:27:04.159 --> 01:27:09.000
make excuses for me not listening. But the fact is,

1119
01:27:09.199 --> 01:27:10.479
I mean, it might have been true, I might have

1120
01:27:10.520 --> 01:27:12.159
been part of the reason why I was so behind,

1121
01:27:13.199 --> 01:27:17.119
but I genuinely wasn't interested in what the teachers were

1122
01:27:17.159 --> 01:27:21.720
talking about, and anything that did interest me did it

1123
01:27:21.880 --> 01:27:26.960
stuck you know, if I'm interested in something, I'll look

1124
01:27:26.960 --> 01:27:30.800
it up now, and that information generally stays with me.

1125
01:27:39.479 --> 01:27:41.800
I think sitting at the back was a good place

1126
01:27:41.840 --> 01:27:44.039
to be. I don't want to be I never liked

1127
01:27:44.079 --> 01:27:49.640
people being behind me. I never really enjoyed that, even

1128
01:27:49.720 --> 01:27:54.319
when I'll go to a theater. When I was really little,

1129
01:27:55.920 --> 01:27:57.640
I didn't care, Like, if I go to the cinema,

1130
01:27:57.720 --> 01:28:00.199
stud like go in the front row. Because I was

1131
01:28:00.199 --> 01:28:04.359
so little, I didn't My head didn't even really fit

1132
01:28:04.439 --> 01:28:08.720
to the top of the headrest. So technically people were

1133
01:28:08.760 --> 01:28:11.880
behind me, but it didn't feel like they were because

1134
01:28:11.920 --> 01:28:13.920
I was. They probably didn't even know I was there.

1135
01:28:15.319 --> 01:28:17.520
And I spread my legs out and I was lovely,

1136
01:28:17.760 --> 01:28:20.560
even though I had little legs. I spread my legs

1137
01:28:20.560 --> 01:28:24.199
out wherever I was in the cinema, but it was

1138
01:28:24.279 --> 01:28:25.960
I used to love to sit at the front and

1139
01:28:26.039 --> 01:28:34.319
had this big, massive screen, And yeah, that's what I

1140
01:28:34.319 --> 01:28:37.199
always used to do. When I was older, i'd moved

1141
01:28:37.199 --> 01:28:42.720
to the back. Now. I haven't been to cinema for

1142
01:28:42.760 --> 01:28:47.239
a long time, but now i'd probably choose, if possible,

1143
01:28:49.159 --> 01:28:53.119
like a middle aisle, but away from anyone. I don't

1144
01:28:53.159 --> 01:28:55.600
want people sitting near me, or in front of me

1145
01:28:55.720 --> 01:28:58.960
or behind me. I just want my I want my

1146
01:28:59.000 --> 01:29:06.199
own cinema based but enough distance, you know, I'm gonna

1147
01:29:06.199 --> 01:29:09.119
actually have seat. In the past, I'm sure I was

1148
01:29:09.159 --> 01:29:11.600
in the cinema once and someone just walked up and

1149
01:29:11.720 --> 01:29:20.159
sat right next to me. And I remember saying, why

1150
01:29:20.279 --> 01:29:23.239
you are all these other seats in this cinema is

1151
01:29:23.279 --> 01:29:26.760
probably two hundred seats in the cinema and there's only

1152
01:29:26.920 --> 01:29:28.920
like five people in there. Why did you come and

1153
01:29:28.960 --> 01:29:32.079
sit next to me? You know what I heard? You

1154
01:29:32.119 --> 01:29:36.760
know what response was. We came together. We came to

1155
01:29:37.199 --> 01:29:39.039
what do you mean why am I sitting next to you?

1156
01:29:40.119 --> 01:29:41.840
I've just been out to go and get some popcorn

1157
01:29:41.920 --> 01:29:45.760
for us. So that's the point where I thought maybe

1158
01:29:45.760 --> 01:29:51.680
the relationship wasn't gonna work out. Just going to the

1159
01:29:51.680 --> 01:29:54.439
cinema as someone doesn't it doesn't mean that I want

1160
01:29:54.439 --> 01:30:03.600
to sit with them. That was weird. So yeah, I

1161
01:30:03.640 --> 01:30:12.720
had glasses. Oh yeah, the eighty nine got them again,

1162
01:30:12.800 --> 01:30:16.920
started reading, started like using them to read a bit more.

1163
01:30:17.000 --> 01:30:26.520
That was nice. And really between nineteen eighty nine and

1164
01:30:26.680 --> 01:30:32.760
two thy thirteen, just reading glasses all those years, just

1165
01:30:32.840 --> 01:30:37.760
reading glasses. I go back, just need them for reading

1166
01:30:39.159 --> 01:30:41.600
never mentioned a one kei. Maybe I've still got one

1167
01:30:41.680 --> 01:30:45.279
kei and no one's told me, but I've had photographs taken.

1168
01:30:45.359 --> 01:30:48.560
It doesn't seem to be. Well, you know what. I've

1169
01:30:48.600 --> 01:30:50.680
had enough people in my life that would tell me.

1170
01:30:51.439 --> 01:30:54.159
They just make fun of me to my face about

1171
01:30:54.199 --> 01:30:59.319
having a one kei. So maybe I do, but I'm

1172
01:30:59.319 --> 01:31:09.840
pretty sure they tell me. I actually met someone who

1173
01:31:09.880 --> 01:31:16.399
had a one kei and there's a health spa thing,

1174
01:31:16.600 --> 01:31:19.239
and she's one of the people that have been most

1175
01:31:20.039 --> 01:31:22.640
I was most attracted to in my entire life was her.

1176
01:31:23.920 --> 01:31:28.680
I didn't met her once. I say, one kid, just

1177
01:31:28.760 --> 01:31:30.520
like just looking in a different direction. And I had

1178
01:31:30.520 --> 01:31:33.000
a friend. I had a friend who had like an

1179
01:31:33.000 --> 01:31:37.479
eye like that, like who cares, He's got to focus

1180
01:31:37.520 --> 01:31:41.279
on one eye. But you can't look You can't look

1181
01:31:41.359 --> 01:31:44.720
at both eyes anyway, can you? Or can you? I can't.

1182
01:31:47.159 --> 01:31:48.800
I'm not uglyzed over a little bit when I look

1183
01:31:48.800 --> 01:31:53.520
at people, but I can't unless it's a distance. I

1184
01:31:53.520 --> 01:31:55.359
need a real distance if I'm gonna be able to

1185
01:31:55.680 --> 01:31:59.560
get an idea of focusing on both eyes too close

1186
01:31:59.760 --> 01:32:08.800
and and I can't focus on either I so twoy

1187
01:32:09.000 --> 01:32:15.920
thirteen between. Actually, yeah, I wore I wore glasses for

1188
01:32:16.079 --> 01:32:22.119
reading a lot during the twenties, during my twenties, rather

1189
01:32:22.600 --> 01:32:27.000
not the nineteen twenties, because I was reading a lot.

1190
01:32:27.039 --> 01:32:30.560
I'd read a lot of books, had a lot of books.

1191
01:32:31.319 --> 01:32:33.439
That stupid flies in this room. It was in the

1192
01:32:33.520 --> 01:32:36.239
kitchen earlier. Now it's here unless it's just come in

1193
01:32:36.239 --> 01:32:38.720
the window and it's a different fly, or it's got

1194
01:32:38.760 --> 01:32:40.720
out of a window in the kitchen and coming this way.

1195
01:32:42.319 --> 01:32:49.159
It's harassing me. I'm being earth by a fly. And

1196
01:32:53.960 --> 01:32:57.079
I don't know why I went to the opticians in

1197
01:32:57.119 --> 01:33:02.920
twenty thirteen. I think I might have been getting a

1198
01:33:02.960 --> 01:33:04.880
bit of eyes strained cause I was working in the

1199
01:33:04.920 --> 01:33:10.000
call center, and yeah, I was told, yeah, you need

1200
01:33:10.039 --> 01:33:12.840
to wear glasses, and you need to need to wear

1201
01:33:12.840 --> 01:33:17.720
glasses all the time or act. You know what they

1202
01:33:17.840 --> 01:33:24.560
call them lenses? You know what's your names? Do you

1203
01:33:24.600 --> 01:33:28.560
put in your eye? Them lenses things? I can't remember

1204
01:33:28.560 --> 01:33:31.920
the name because I will never wear them ever contact lenses.

1205
01:33:32.319 --> 01:33:40.119
No never, never never never never and I never never

1206
01:33:40.159 --> 01:33:43.399
never never know no, no, no no, no, I mean

1207
01:33:43.720 --> 01:33:49.479
for vanity. I understand why people do maybe because glasses

1208
01:33:49.520 --> 01:33:53.840
can cover up the face and if someone's particularly you know,

1209
01:33:53.880 --> 01:33:57.359
if I was particularly facially attractive, I didn't want my

1210
01:33:57.399 --> 01:34:00.279
face to be covered up, then maybe I would wear

1211
01:34:00.319 --> 01:34:07.319
contact lenses. I probably wouldn't have wanted to wear glasses

1212
01:34:07.359 --> 01:34:10.279
in my twenties. I'll be honest with you. I wouldn't.

1213
01:34:11.479 --> 01:34:13.680
I wouldn't know. I wouldn't not have been happy wearing

1214
01:34:13.760 --> 01:34:20.840
glasses all the way through my twenties, and probably not

1215
01:34:20.920 --> 01:34:25.159
even through my thirties either. I didn't mind wearing them.

1216
01:34:25.760 --> 01:34:30.399
I didn't mind wearing reading glasses in front of people,

1217
01:34:31.000 --> 01:34:32.760
but I don't think I would have particularly wanted to

1218
01:34:32.800 --> 01:34:33.840
be wearing glasses.

1219
01:34:36.520 --> 01:34:36.720
Yeah.

1220
01:34:37.159 --> 01:34:41.119
Yeah, it wasn't really for me. I'm used to it now.

1221
01:34:41.319 --> 01:34:48.159
It's been what twelve years now since I've been wearing them.

1222
01:34:48.279 --> 01:34:50.720
And it was really weird because the first paid glasses,

1223
01:34:50.880 --> 01:34:57.720
it was three lenses, and the reading one was more powerful.

1224
01:35:00.079 --> 01:35:02.560
I don't know what it is. It made me look taller.

1225
01:35:02.800 --> 01:35:06.720
I felt taller because the ground was further away. It

1226
01:35:06.760 --> 01:35:09.119
looked because that was the reading part, so they were

1227
01:35:09.159 --> 01:35:14.960
a bit more I don't know, but it just looked.

1228
01:35:15.319 --> 01:35:18.520
I felt that I was like at least five foot tall.

1229
01:35:19.840 --> 01:35:22.840
It was amazing, but at the same time. It was

1230
01:35:22.920 --> 01:35:29.039
trippy because I was literally I was tripping over the vet,

1231
01:35:29.199 --> 01:35:37.319
not the vet. And the optician did say, you're you know,

1232
01:35:37.359 --> 01:35:38.720
you get used to it, but it might be a

1233
01:35:38.720 --> 01:35:44.279
bit weird to start with. I said, thanks. She says,

1234
01:35:44.399 --> 01:35:46.199
it's a little bit like a prostate exam, you know.

1235
01:35:47.000 --> 01:35:50.359
I said, what I said, don't worry. So what are

1236
01:35:50.359 --> 01:35:54.000
you talk about prostate exams? She said, well, it's a

1237
01:35:54.000 --> 01:35:58.880
bit weird. So what's weird about prostate exam? She said,

1238
01:35:59.239 --> 01:36:04.720
I'm an optician. I'm not supposed to give them. I was, okay,

1239
01:36:05.359 --> 01:36:07.880
that is a going in a weird direction. I just left.

1240
01:36:09.119 --> 01:36:12.119
They came running after me. You gotta pay, you gotta pay.

1241
01:36:13.960 --> 01:36:16.520
I said, okay, I'll pay. I don't want to come

1242
01:36:16.520 --> 01:36:17.880
back and just give you the money. She said, but

1243
01:36:17.920 --> 01:36:20.000
you got to come back. I said why. She said,

1244
01:36:20.000 --> 01:36:25.600
you left your trousers here. Okay. But it was weird

1245
01:36:25.680 --> 01:36:29.920
wearing glasses all the time to start with. And I

1246
01:36:29.960 --> 01:36:33.359
think some people because I've got active lights or active

1247
01:36:33.439 --> 01:36:37.079
lights so that it go dark in the in the sun,

1248
01:36:37.319 --> 01:36:43.560
sunlight all year round, so I think some people think

1249
01:36:43.600 --> 01:36:45.279
I'm walking around well, actually a couple of people have

1250
01:36:45.319 --> 01:36:47.760
said it in the past a lot of other dog walkers,

1251
01:36:48.199 --> 01:36:52.199
Why are you wearing shades in the winter, I said,

1252
01:36:52.199 --> 01:36:56.399
I'm not wearing shades. These are my glasses. They just

1253
01:36:56.479 --> 01:37:00.920
go they block out the sunlight in my eyes to

1254
01:37:01.199 --> 01:37:09.159
try and protect my eyes. Oh okay, So I think

1255
01:37:09.199 --> 01:37:11.920
some people think I'm walking around with sunglasses on in

1256
01:37:11.960 --> 01:37:16.880
the winter or when I first go into a place.

1257
01:37:17.159 --> 01:37:18.760
So if I go and listen, was going to go

1258
01:37:18.800 --> 01:37:24.079
into the pet shop in the winter, I would look

1259
01:37:24.079 --> 01:37:26.279
like I was wearing sunglasses because it takes a while

1260
01:37:26.279 --> 01:37:28.399
for the lens to go down from dark to be

1261
01:37:28.560 --> 01:37:33.079
clear again. So the whole time I'm in that pet shop,

1262
01:37:34.319 --> 01:37:40.039
they might be thinking he's wearing sunglasses and it's December,

1263
01:37:42.119 --> 01:37:51.960
strange and raining. But they go dark. It's just what

1264
01:37:52.000 --> 01:37:56.119
they do. So I'm pretty sure my first muma had

1265
01:37:56.159 --> 01:38:05.039
some like this, our very first mother. I have a

1266
01:38:05.079 --> 01:38:08.640
memory of her wearing dark glasses. Maybe they were just sunshades,

1267
01:38:08.680 --> 01:38:12.600
but she definitely wore glasses. So I don't know when

1268
01:38:13.359 --> 01:38:19.720
when Okay, let me check when did actor light Okay,

1269
01:38:21.359 --> 01:38:38.479
did glasses have history of people's glasses? So look, sempty

1270
01:38:38.479 --> 01:38:46.680
star glasses acting like what is actor like glasses through

1271
01:38:46.720 --> 01:38:55.159
the decades. Oh, I can't believe did act aviators not aviators?

1272
01:38:55.520 --> 01:39:05.800
What are they called? Oh, I can't see the glass

1273
01:39:05.800 --> 01:39:09.439
has been around what since nineteen twenties? They around since

1274
01:39:09.479 --> 01:39:13.960
before then? Weren't the eyeglasses history. I don't really want

1275
01:39:13.960 --> 01:39:21.439
to go through the whole eyeglasses history, So history now,

1276
01:39:21.479 --> 01:39:26.840
I'm just going to go for history history of dark glasses.

1277
01:39:28.159 --> 01:39:38.760
Dark glasses semi peppees an ingredient Samuel Peppe Poor Peppe's

1278
01:39:38.880 --> 01:39:43.279
has been credited with ordering the first dark glasses made

1279
01:39:43.319 --> 01:39:48.520
by English optian John Turlington, but, according to his diary,

1280
01:39:49.279 --> 01:39:51.840
used more for ogland women in church than to shield

1281
01:39:51.880 --> 01:39:59.560
his eyes from sunlight. Okay, I didn't know that was

1282
01:39:59.600 --> 01:40:05.920
going to be up the hinted as. I suppose they

1283
01:40:05.920 --> 01:40:09.399
would be called tinted. But like mine aunt sunglasses, they

1284
01:40:09.520 --> 01:40:16.359
just go dark. I might get some, really, I might

1285
01:40:16.399 --> 01:40:22.079
get some glasses just to annoy people go down like

1286
01:40:22.119 --> 01:40:26.680
a bit of you remember Elton John back in Well,

1287
01:40:26.920 --> 01:40:28.680
I'm not the same remember him. He's still around, But

1288
01:40:28.960 --> 01:40:31.439
remember when he was, like in the seventies and the eighties.

1289
01:40:31.439 --> 01:40:37.159
He'd be wearing really crazy glasses. And I might do

1290
01:40:37.279 --> 01:40:43.159
that or Danny LaRue was it Danny LaRue Liberaci. Yeah,

1291
01:40:43.840 --> 01:40:47.279
I might go down a Liberaci route just wear really

1292
01:40:47.479 --> 01:40:53.560
colorful spectacles, or I might just get some normal glasses.

1293
01:40:55.199 --> 01:41:02.359
I quite like these frames. But last time, because they've

1294
01:41:02.399 --> 01:41:05.600
got reading bits at the bottom, I got two pairs

1295
01:41:05.640 --> 01:41:09.039
of the same glasses. So this is the second pair.

1296
01:41:09.159 --> 01:41:11.600
Warn the other ones out. This is the second pair,

1297
01:41:12.600 --> 01:41:16.039
and needs are nearly worn out as well. It's been

1298
01:41:16.239 --> 01:41:20.359
I think three or four years, maybe four maybe longer

1299
01:41:20.439 --> 01:41:27.840
since I last had these. Yeah, I talked myself into it.

1300
01:41:28.079 --> 01:41:31.159
I'm going to go and get an eyeglass, eyeglass test,

1301
01:41:31.560 --> 01:41:39.199
eye test for glasses. It's not really much of a

1302
01:41:39.319 --> 01:41:43.279
history of my glasses, is it. But that's that's kind

1303
01:41:43.279 --> 01:41:45.359
of it. I remember that when I bought I got

1304
01:41:45.359 --> 01:41:48.640
my glasses nineteen eighty nine, and they were my first

1305
01:41:49.239 --> 01:41:55.840
reading only glasses, I think, And when I got them,

1306
01:41:56.239 --> 01:41:59.920
I was so excited, went in collected Duman. I think

1307
01:42:00.000 --> 01:42:01.920
I'd already bought a book to read, and I was

1308
01:42:01.960 --> 01:42:05.239
waiting for the to get the glasses to anoint the

1309
01:42:05.239 --> 01:42:08.039
book as it were, or anoint the glasses with the book,

1310
01:42:09.560 --> 01:42:15.640
and I sat on them. I put them on the

1311
01:42:15.680 --> 01:42:20.319
bed and I sat down and I basically, yeah, sat

1312
01:42:20.359 --> 01:42:23.239
on them. I had to take them back and get

1313
01:42:23.279 --> 01:42:31.479
them reshaped. And that's it for me. So this is

1314
01:42:31.520 --> 01:42:40.520
my Jason's was it Monday's boring objects glasses? So thank

1315
01:42:40.520 --> 01:42:43.279
you for listening. Remember to be kind to yourself because

1316
01:42:43.279 --> 01:42:47.880
you do deserve to be happy, and be gentle with yourself,

1317
01:42:47.920 --> 01:43:04.600
because you do deserve to feel safe, lots of love. Bye.

1318
01:43:05.119 --> 01:43:19.680
Relax in a more deep and meaningful way, maybe in

1319
01:43:19.720 --> 01:43:25.279
a way that can not just allow you to feel

1320
01:43:26.640 --> 01:43:35.880
calmer now and throughout the time we spend together here,

1321
01:43:37.920 --> 01:43:43.600
not just relaxed at the end of the recording when

1322
01:43:43.640 --> 01:43:50.319
it's finished and you can enjoy that sense of comfort

1323
01:43:50.479 --> 01:44:05.399
and peace, but also I think it would be nice

1324
01:44:05.479 --> 01:44:25.279
to have those feelings of relaxation continue for longer after

1325
01:44:25.359 --> 01:44:35.960
the recording has ended, so that you can still benefit

1326
01:44:38.800 --> 01:44:46.079
from listening to my voice, maybe in a few hours time,

1327
01:44:48.000 --> 01:45:02.000
perhaps tomorrow, and then by listening regularly, especially if you find,

1328
01:45:03.319 --> 01:45:07.000
like some people do and myself as well, sometimes I

1329
01:45:07.119 --> 01:45:17.680
find one particular recording that really resonates with me, and

1330
01:45:17.760 --> 01:45:22.479
I just listen to it over and over again every

1331
01:45:22.600 --> 01:45:35.479
morning every evening. There was this recording from We're Going

1332
01:45:35.520 --> 01:45:41.159
Back to about nineteen ninety nine. It wasn't hypnosis, but

1333
01:45:41.199 --> 01:45:46.399
it was a guided visualizations. It kind of was hypnosis, really,

1334
01:45:48.880 --> 01:45:54.079
and I managed to find it again and it still

1335
01:45:54.159 --> 01:46:00.239
has the same effect on me. And part of it was, yes,

1336
01:46:03.640 --> 01:46:16.840
the person's voice relaxed me, just felt so peaceful, and

1337
01:46:16.880 --> 01:46:23.760
I'd look forward to listening to her in the morning

1338
01:46:24.199 --> 01:46:35.279
and in the evening. And I knew before even pressing

1339
01:46:35.399 --> 01:46:43.319
the play button that since I've done that, pressed the

1340
01:46:43.359 --> 01:46:52.479
play button. This was in the days of CD players

1341
01:46:55.439 --> 01:47:00.960
pressed the play button. In fact, it might have even

1342
01:47:01.000 --> 01:47:05.479
been a tape recorder. I'd lie down on the bed

1343
01:47:05.720 --> 01:47:22.359
and then even without necessarily listening to her words because

1344
01:47:24.279 --> 01:47:31.439
I had them memorized. Really, it was as if my

1345
01:47:31.560 --> 01:47:42.920
body knew exactly what to do, and the muscles just

1346
01:47:46.880 --> 01:48:06.199
almost went into automatic relaxation, and I remember my mind

1347
01:48:07.520 --> 01:48:18.560
would slow down. Now. Now I was listening to this

1348
01:48:18.640 --> 01:48:28.119
recording in the early days of learning hypnosis, and long

1349
01:48:28.199 --> 01:48:36.760
before I ever made any videos or audio recordings myself,

1350
01:48:38.000 --> 01:48:41.359
because I didn't start doing that till two thousand and six,

1351
01:48:48.239 --> 01:49:04.199
I knew, I knew how helpful I found being able

1352
01:49:04.239 --> 01:49:13.319
to just let go, to have that trust in the

1353
01:49:13.399 --> 01:49:23.800
person that I'm listening to, knowing that it's going to

1354
01:49:23.840 --> 01:49:34.640
be just as relaxing, if not more so. Each time

1355
01:49:34.880 --> 01:49:47.399
you hear my voice, you may feel the same. Some

1356
01:49:47.720 --> 01:50:01.960
people have been listening to me for over a decade,

1357
01:50:02.760 --> 01:50:06.800
maybe not solidly, obviously not twenty four hours a day,

1358
01:50:08.520 --> 01:50:22.760
but maybe people come back. Some people maybe listen every day.

1359
01:50:26.800 --> 01:50:34.880
That's something that I do which you may not realize

1360
01:50:35.159 --> 01:50:53.760
by listening, is when I record these recordings. Now. For example,

1361
01:50:58.279 --> 01:51:10.359
I also am affected by the words that I say.

1362
01:51:11.359 --> 01:51:17.880
So if I said to you, focus on your feet,

1363
01:51:20.239 --> 01:51:28.119
notice your feet relaxing, I will be focusing on my feet.

1364
01:51:32.880 --> 01:51:50.279
I will be noticing my feet relaxing. If I said

1365
01:51:50.399 --> 01:51:58.079
focus on your hands, and maybe notice the difference between

1366
01:51:58.159 --> 01:52:09.079
each hand, perhaps notice the air in the room, the

1367
01:52:09.119 --> 01:52:14.359
temperature of the room. On the backs of your hands,

1368
01:52:21.560 --> 01:52:25.439
you may start to notice what almost feels like a

1369
01:52:25.560 --> 01:52:33.520
very light breeze, even though there may not be any

1370
01:52:34.039 --> 01:52:44.560
type of breeze at all where you are right now.

1371
01:52:47.119 --> 01:52:57.760
And as you become aware of your hands, I'm also

1372
01:52:58.079 --> 01:53:26.279
aware of how relaxed my hands are feeling now and

1373
01:53:26.439 --> 01:53:33.399
when it comes to potentially drifting off to sleep, which

1374
01:53:33.439 --> 01:53:46.640
may be the reason you're listening. I also feel drowsy

1375
01:53:49.840 --> 01:54:03.319
when I make these recordings. I also notice my mind drifting.

1376
01:54:11.199 --> 01:54:23.800
In fact, at times I've actually fallen asleep without even noticing,

1377
01:54:28.680 --> 01:54:37.760
and then I carry on talking. And it's only where

1378
01:54:38.119 --> 01:54:47.199
I listen back to do the editing. I hear snoring,

1379
01:54:49.119 --> 01:54:56.399
and I think I don't remember snoring. I remember talking.

1380
01:54:59.279 --> 01:55:06.439
Is snoring was a pick turned up? That's why I

1381
01:55:06.560 --> 01:55:14.680
sound like when I snore. How I get really into

1382
01:55:14.760 --> 01:55:34.119
the whole experience. I don't know how you feel. How

1383
01:55:34.199 --> 01:55:44.520
relaxed do you feel in your feet, How relaxed you

1384
01:55:44.640 --> 01:56:05.920
feel in your hands. I have noticed more and more

1385
01:56:11.800 --> 01:56:24.560
that the more relaxed, deeper level of comfort you feel,

1386
01:56:28.159 --> 01:56:44.319
the easier your breathing becomes. It's almost like that additional

1387
01:56:47.479 --> 01:57:08.439
muscle relaxation. So this allows you to breathe easier without

1388
01:57:09.920 --> 01:57:40.760
necessarily focusing on your breath. However, being able to notice

1389
01:57:41.239 --> 01:58:11.079
the ease in which you breathe so naturally, you breathe

1390
01:58:11.560 --> 01:58:55.279
so very easily and smoothly. Whenever I imagine my breathing improving,

1391
01:59:00.960 --> 01:59:14.319
when I've got my eyes closed, I tend to visualize

1392
01:59:16.399 --> 01:59:30.800
a beautiful field with trees and flowers producing all that

1393
01:59:32.840 --> 02:00:05.640
life giving oxygen. It feels nice two if nothing else,

1394
02:00:08.840 --> 02:00:42.960
just taking some time away from everything, enjoying that feeling

1395
02:00:43.359 --> 02:01:33.840
of peace, serenity with a joyful heart. Time seems to

1396
02:01:34.119 --> 02:02:09.239
just drip by, so very slowly, relaxed, so deeply, peaceful,

1397
02:02:19.159 --> 02:03:02.760
completely unattached to any thoughts whatsoever in this moment, completely free,

1398
02:03:28.399 --> 02:04:19.800
noticing that your mind has slowed down. Slowed down because

1399
02:04:19.960 --> 02:04:48.560
nothing really requires your attention. You can enjoy the physical

1400
02:04:48.880 --> 02:05:00.039
sensations of allowing the stress to rip out of you,

1401
02:05:00.039 --> 02:05:20.680
your body to appear out of every part of your body,

1402
02:05:29.960 --> 02:06:06.000
and being released from your brain. In your mind slowly

1403
02:06:08.439 --> 02:06:54.079
but surely, the muscle sing lex relax rex so very deeply,

1404
02:07:03.920 --> 02:07:34.960
relats so deeply, and the feelings, the pleasant feelings in

1405
02:07:35.039 --> 02:08:01.760
your arms and shoulders, deepening each part of your body

1406
02:08:02.840 --> 02:08:41.279
further and deeper and deeper. Noticin the feelings in the

1407
02:08:41.319 --> 02:09:43.399
back of your neck, feelings in your wrists, muscles in

1408
02:09:43.680 --> 02:10:37.840
front of your body. I allsay, feeling peaceful deeply, there's

1409
02:10:37.880 --> 02:11:19.199
a sense of peace spreads through your fairy core. Even

1410
02:11:19.439 --> 02:11:45.720
when you focus on your mind, your mind becomes be

1411
02:11:46.520 --> 02:13:08.520
and slower, beven deep relaxing, so very slow, his stomach.

1412
02:13:22.640 --> 02:14:04.640
Peace for in your stomach. Look back. Notice notice how

1413
02:14:04.880 --> 02:14:22.880
relaxed you now feel in the hole of your back.

1414
02:14:48.039 --> 02:14:57.199
In spy from your brain all the way down the

1415
02:14:57.239 --> 02:15:07.920
middle of your back, sending and receiving millions of messages

1416
02:15:08.640 --> 02:16:39.639
every day, deepcomfort, increasing deeply relaxed, your knees, les, spreading

1417
02:16:39.840 --> 02:16:48.959
those signals down a spine or cord into air, every

1418
02:16:49.239 --> 02:17:08.040
part of your body, your shins, and your half muscles.

1419
02:17:35.159 --> 02:18:03.920
We are outbows. Feelings of peace and tranquility, spreading through

1420
02:18:04.079 --> 02:18:21.440
your body, tips of your toes, to your eyes, your fingers,

1421
02:18:25.719 --> 02:19:11.799
all the way till you lower back. The tinker radiatinker peace,

1422
02:19:27.600 --> 02:19:58.239
drifting mind, just wandering away, happy to let go, let

1423
02:19:58.280 --> 02:21:03.559
go completely, let go, so tranquil, the whole body, enjoying

1424
02:21:03.760 --> 02:23:19.440
a sensor. Lett him go, he even more piece, enjoying

1425
02:23:25.079 --> 02:23:33.680
the space, this space of peace.

1426
02:23:36.879 --> 02:25:58.840
And safety, so fury he relaxed, Let him go. Maybe

1427
02:25:59.079 --> 02:26:06.840
we'll cank us focus on the different parts of your body,

1428
02:26:10.959 --> 02:27:20.479
just to notice your forehead and your eyes mutual, so loose,

1429
02:27:40.120 --> 02:28:46.920
noticing the sense of complete freedom, absolute true, beat them, Yes.

1430
02:28:47.360 --> 02:29:13.719
Damn yes day peace for.

1431
02:29:15.760 --> 02:29:57.000
Energy, peace to breathe so much easier.

1432
02:30:38.719 --> 02:31:11.319
Yes, you may have or may not have noticed your

1433
02:31:11.520 --> 02:32:13.760
mind drifting peaceful, moveingly, even more deeply in the direction

1434
02:32:13.959 --> 02:33:49.639
of total blissful pace, blissful pace, to rift to to pace.

1435
02:34:14.319 --> 02:35:10.479
Come so calm, let him go, peace with mind.

1436
02:35:10.440 --> 02:36:14.719
Relaxed forty so relaxed, so relaxed. Your body feels almost invisible,

1437
02:36:29.879 --> 02:37:14.440
so very relaxed. I'm peaceful, so peace like.

1438
02:37:39.120 --> 02:37:55.920
Fair And you could start to notice that you are

1439
02:37:56.159 --> 02:38:07.680
feeling more relaxed, even though I've not purposely focused your

1440
02:38:07.840 --> 02:38:16.239
mind upon that sense of physical comfort that is growing

1441
02:38:16.399 --> 02:38:25.239
within you throughout your body, and your mind starts to

1442
02:38:25.319 --> 02:38:35.680
slow down, And that could be almost in recognition of

1443
02:38:37.680 --> 02:38:49.760
I guess my speech not being particularly fast, and things

1444
02:38:50.120 --> 02:39:00.159
just generally feel calmer just by listening to my voice. Yes,

1445
02:39:03.280 --> 02:39:10.280
you give yourself an opportunity to take a break from

1446
02:39:10.280 --> 02:39:16.920
the day, take a break from your life as it is,

1447
02:39:20.239 --> 02:39:27.879
and to give yourself a rest, given yourself permission to

1448
02:39:27.959 --> 02:39:33.239
take some time off, and to allow your body to

1449
02:39:33.360 --> 02:39:43.120
relax and allow your mind to slow down, which in

1450
02:39:43.200 --> 02:39:51.040
turn releases the tension and he stresses that you had

1451
02:39:51.040 --> 02:40:00.840
in your body. It's almost as if the parts of

1452
02:40:00.879 --> 02:40:12.840
your body just open up, allowing the negativity out and

1453
02:40:12.959 --> 02:40:22.040
at the same time replacing that negativity with positive heathing energy,

1454
02:40:24.479 --> 02:40:29.120
which then fills your body up and your mind to

1455
02:40:30.719 --> 02:40:49.120
also starts to appreciate those feelings of increasing confidence, an

1456
02:40:49.200 --> 02:41:06.319
almost uplifting feeling, positive healing, an energy that spreads through

1457
02:41:06.360 --> 02:41:17.040
your body like a wave of comfort. And all this

1458
02:41:17.360 --> 02:41:29.440
comes from just allowing yourself a few minutes, maybe half

1459
02:41:29.479 --> 02:41:33.319
an hour, however long you want it to be, to

1460
02:41:33.639 --> 02:41:47.479
just rest and allow your mind and your body to

1461
02:41:47.600 --> 02:42:04.600
almost reset itself to the settings of comfort and relaxation, calmness,

1462
02:42:08.440 --> 02:42:17.840
which allows more room for feelings of pleasure and happiness

1463
02:42:21.840 --> 02:42:30.959
to move around your body and into your mind, almost

1464
02:42:31.479 --> 02:42:36.079
as if your mind and your body are sinking together,

1465
02:42:40.319 --> 02:42:51.520
almost mirroring each other with that growing positivity and calmness.

1466
02:42:55.079 --> 02:43:03.120
And it feels nice, really does feel to know that

1467
02:43:03.200 --> 02:43:12.360
you are the one that has allowed yourself to feel

1468
02:43:12.799 --> 02:43:27.440
more comfort and to experience more of this deep relaxation

1469
02:43:28.840 --> 02:43:43.040
spreading throughout your body. And as I focus on each

1470
02:43:43.440 --> 02:43:49.040
part of your body, you can notice that that part

1471
02:43:53.040 --> 02:44:05.520
becomes even more relaxed just by focusing on it. It

1472
02:44:05.639 --> 02:44:19.319
becomes even more calm and comfortable just by focusing. And

1473
02:44:19.399 --> 02:44:25.280
as I move down your body, starting at your head,

1474
02:44:27.600 --> 02:44:34.360
the parts that you've already focused on will continue to

1475
02:44:34.479 --> 02:44:42.159
relax deeply, and those parts that we've not yet focused

1476
02:44:42.200 --> 02:44:55.600
on or just automatically release any remain intention in anticipation

1477
02:44:55.959 --> 02:45:09.079
of even more comfort to come. Now, I'm going to

1478
02:45:09.200 --> 02:45:16.559
start by focusing on your forehead. Just being aware of

1479
02:45:16.600 --> 02:45:26.680
the feelings of your forehead and any background sounds like

1480
02:45:26.920 --> 02:45:32.079
mister Herbert the pigeon can just allow you to feel

1481
02:45:32.120 --> 02:45:42.200
even more relaxed. Just means you're in the moment. This

1482
02:45:42.280 --> 02:45:48.040
isn't this isn't a sterile environment. This is the world.

1483
02:45:50.879 --> 02:45:56.920
I live in the countryside, so there's lots of nature

1484
02:45:57.440 --> 02:46:08.000
sounds around. So as you focus on your forehead, just

1485
02:46:08.200 --> 02:46:18.239
notice how it becomes even more relaxed as you focus

1486
02:46:18.280 --> 02:46:27.920
only on my voice and that part of your body.

1487
02:46:27.959 --> 02:46:37.680
Moving down to your eyes, focusing on your eyes, noticing

1488
02:46:38.719 --> 02:46:48.440
how your eyelids feel so heavy yet so light at

1489
02:46:48.440 --> 02:46:54.920
the same time, and all the muscles around your eyes

1490
02:46:55.159 --> 02:47:09.639
relaxing completely. Moving your focus down to your mouth, your lips,

1491
02:47:10.040 --> 02:47:16.719
your tongue, your teeth, and your gumbs, the whole of

1492
02:47:16.840 --> 02:47:31.879
your mouth relaxing, calm and loose. As you focus now

1493
02:47:32.440 --> 02:47:39.319
on your jaw, not just the parts of your jaw

1494
02:47:39.479 --> 02:47:43.879
near your mouth and your chin, but all the way

1495
02:47:44.000 --> 02:47:47.520
up the size of your face to.

1496
02:47:47.520 --> 02:47:52.600
Your ears, the hole of your jaw.

1497
02:47:54.920 --> 02:48:22.120
Feeding more relaxed and calm. Focusing on your neck, the

1498
02:48:22.159 --> 02:48:29.719
front of your neck and your throat relaxing and loose

1499
02:48:30.399 --> 02:48:40.000
and calm. The sides of your neck, the right and

1500
02:48:40.239 --> 02:48:55.760
left side of your neck relax and loose and calm.

1501
02:48:59.239 --> 02:49:06.120
And now the back of your neck. Focusing on the

1502
02:49:06.200 --> 02:49:16.639
back of your neck, letting go of any tension that

1503
02:49:16.799 --> 02:49:25.719
may have been there before, and enjoying that sense of

1504
02:49:26.680 --> 02:49:37.399
increasing comfort and release that you can experience in the

1505
02:49:37.440 --> 02:49:49.719
back of your neck. Moving down your back and moving

1506
02:49:49.959 --> 02:49:54.360
either side of your spine right from the top of

1507
02:49:54.399 --> 02:50:00.040
your back all the way down to the bottom of

1508
02:50:00.079 --> 02:50:17.000
your back, down to your lower back. And as you

1509
02:50:17.239 --> 02:50:24.600
move up and down your spine, you can feel the

1510
02:50:24.760 --> 02:50:39.879
muscles either side of your spine relaxing even more. And

1511
02:50:39.959 --> 02:50:46.840
as those muscles relax, that sense of comfort starts to

1512
02:50:46.879 --> 02:50:57.319
spread outwards from your spine into both sides of your back,

1513
02:51:01.079 --> 02:51:04.799
the top of your back, the middle and your lower back.

1514
02:51:08.280 --> 02:51:15.479
And as you scan gently and slowly up and down

1515
02:51:15.639 --> 02:51:20.719
your back, there's the muscles in the top of your

1516
02:51:20.799 --> 02:51:30.760
back relax and become looser. The muscles in the middle

1517
02:51:30.760 --> 02:51:38.120
of your back also seem to just almost divide from

1518
02:51:38.159 --> 02:51:51.600
each other, separating and almost melting. And in your lower

1519
02:51:51.639 --> 02:52:02.479
back there seems to be an extra special feeling of

1520
02:52:02.600 --> 02:52:14.639
comfort that spreads into your hips. Sit down your lower back,

1521
02:52:14.959 --> 02:52:22.920
into your hips, into the area where your cocksicks are,

1522
02:52:26.479 --> 02:52:34.040
and into your buttocks, and all those muscles that spread

1523
02:52:35.399 --> 02:52:45.159
from your lower back into your hip area start to melt,

1524
02:52:49.600 --> 02:53:03.079
start to really let go, and nowhere about to focus

1525
02:53:03.159 --> 02:53:10.399
on your shoulders. Your back and your spine will continue

1526
02:53:12.360 --> 02:53:30.840
to let go, continue to relax so calmly, and as

1527
02:53:30.879 --> 02:53:36.360
you focus on your shoulders, you may notice that they're

1528
02:53:36.399 --> 02:54:07.360
already feeding, really loose, they're already feeding car and feeling

1529
02:54:11.559 --> 02:54:19.920
those muscles then move from your neck into your shoulders

1530
02:54:26.440 --> 02:54:55.959
feel so soft and gentle, so smooth and calm, and

1531
02:54:56.040 --> 02:55:08.920
the feeding in your shoulders seens to spread deep into

1532
02:55:08.959 --> 02:55:19.399
your shoulders. That sense of relaxation not just traveling deeply

1533
02:55:19.799 --> 02:55:36.760
into your muscles, but also relaxing the bones and moving

1534
02:55:36.879 --> 02:55:45.719
all away to underneath your arms, relaxing that whole area

1535
02:55:45.879 --> 02:55:50.959
between the tops of your shoulders and underneath your arms.

1536
02:55:55.079 --> 02:56:10.319
He then you feel so relaxed and comfortable in your shoulders,

1537
02:56:13.840 --> 02:56:36.239
which sends that deep healing message into your arms. You

1538
02:56:36.360 --> 02:56:42.079
may feel almost as if your arms are not even there,

1539
02:56:43.600 --> 02:57:27.719
because they're so relaxed, so deeply relaxed, so calm, so pose,

1540
02:57:35.159 --> 02:57:46.520
not feeling, spreading all the way down your arms, two elbows,

1541
02:57:50.040 --> 02:58:19.959
including your elbows circumforts, spreads or away into rests of forearments,

1542
02:58:20.159 --> 02:59:13.399
induists so heavy, yet at the same time slight and gentle. Frey.

1543
02:59:13.680 --> 02:59:54.040
See now on your hands, your hands so peaceful in

1544
02:59:54.079 --> 03:00:31.719
your hands, there's a sense of real peace. It just

1545
03:00:31.879 --> 03:00:46.040
seems to I feel so familiar when your hands relax

1546
03:00:47.280 --> 03:02:22.399
deeply feels the thing is a thing is sadles You

1547
03:02:22.600 --> 03:02:56.159
think you tips moving your attention to the front, to

1548
03:02:56.239 --> 03:03:27.120
your body, so comfortable, moving in your focus, your legs,

1549
03:04:45.760 --> 03:05:40.280
why muscus in your thighs, your knees, so relaxed, the

1550
03:05:40.559 --> 03:07:51.760
carved mussels and just shans compresedly four fathing new feats,

1551
03:07:58.719 --> 03:08:57.760
sir peace, faul sircom say peaceful sitcom sup peaceful sycom

1552
03:08:58.440 --> 03:09:12.360
so peace fall RelA sin.

1553
03:09:17.440 --> 03:09:35.360
Peace fall, so calm, loving that deep relaxation.

1554
03:09:35.840 --> 03:09:52.680
To spread your chest in your stomach, so RelA letting

1555
03:09:53.159 --> 03:10:11.440
go of everything. So I'm gonna start counting down now

1556
03:10:14.040 --> 03:10:22.760
from twenty down to one. You can imagine in a

1557
03:10:22.799 --> 03:10:28.639
way it's like just walking down some steps and each

1558
03:10:28.799 --> 03:10:34.479
step or twenty steps, and each step represents a level

1559
03:10:35.000 --> 03:10:47.760
of comfort, each step represents a deepening of that comfort

1560
03:10:54.360 --> 03:10:59.840
and the furvies you walk down those steps a deep

1561
03:11:00.479 --> 03:11:21.760
and more relaxed you feel. So starting with number twenty

1562
03:11:22.920 --> 03:17:49.719
twenty nineteen eighteen seventeen secsting hey fourty four two two

1563
03:17:49.840 --> 03:20:00.639
well five eight.

1564
03:20:08.040 --> 03:20:50.920
H h.

1565
03:21:05.600 --> 03:31:53.879
Nine eight seven s five four one. No, as you

1566
03:31:54.000 --> 03:32:07.360
focus on your eyes, We're gonna count down from ten

1567
03:32:07.520 --> 03:32:22.440
down to one. Focus in just on your eyes, your eyelids,

1568
03:32:22.879 --> 03:32:31.760
the muscles around your eyes, your eye walls themselves, our

1569
03:32:31.799 --> 03:32:48.760
whole area that makes up your eye. And as we

1570
03:32:48.959 --> 03:32:57.360
count down from ten down to one, whilst focus in

1571
03:32:57.479 --> 03:33:12.920
on your eyes, you'll become twice is relaxed with each

1572
03:33:13.280 --> 03:33:25.920
number counting down, and you may find the all you

1573
03:33:26.000 --> 03:33:31.840
want to do is just to drift off to sleep.

1574
03:33:34.799 --> 03:33:41.440
And if that's what you want, then just allow yourself

1575
03:33:41.520 --> 03:33:56.200
to do that. Now, focusing on your eyes, I'm going

1576
03:33:56.280 --> 03:34:06.360
to begin counting down ten down to one right now

1577
03:34:14.760 --> 03:43:19.239
ten nine eight seven five four three two one. So

1578
03:43:27.680 --> 03:43:39.040
counted down from ten to one ten nine eight seven

1579
03:43:41.079 --> 03:44:03.719
six five four three two one. And maybe that was

1580
03:44:03.760 --> 03:44:07.920
a bit too quick in order to relax. Maybe it's

1581
03:44:07.959 --> 03:44:13.959
a bit too fast for you to notice the calming

1582
03:44:14.120 --> 03:44:21.280
of your body, maybe even a little bit of pressure there.

1583
03:44:21.120 --> 03:44:24.319
Like you're counting down from ten to one.

1584
03:44:24.399 --> 03:44:27.799
Would you expect me to do? Man, expect me to

1585
03:44:27.840 --> 03:44:37.559
STI go floppy just because you're counting down. If you

1586
03:44:37.719 --> 03:44:41.600
try it again, but this time, I go this lower.

1587
03:44:43.680 --> 03:44:48.600
This time, as you focus on the whole of your

1588
03:44:48.600 --> 03:44:57.040
body before we focus on your legs, Just notice how

1589
03:44:57.079 --> 03:45:11.200
your body does start to feel more relaxed with every

1590
03:45:11.319 --> 03:45:44.399
number that I count down ten nine eight seven six

1591
03:45:52.799 --> 03:46:04.159
five four.

1592
03:46:11.200 --> 03:46:39.239
Three two.

1593
03:46:46.120 --> 03:47:03.280
One. I just notice how how you feel, generally, how

1594
03:47:03.319 --> 03:47:17.879
your body feels. It's not necessarily even about counting down

1595
03:47:18.120 --> 03:47:24.840
from ten to one. It's that space that you have,

1596
03:47:26.000 --> 03:47:44.520
that space between being active physically or mentally to just

1597
03:47:49.200 --> 03:47:54.440
sitting or lying down, just being there, not doing anything,

1598
03:47:54.600 --> 03:47:59.360
not saying anything, or needing to think about anything.

1599
03:48:01.159 --> 03:48:04.840
So it opens up a space, you know, a bit

1600
03:48:04.879 --> 03:48:06.159
of a space.

1601
03:48:06.600 --> 03:48:07.120
A gap.

1602
03:48:13.319 --> 03:48:16.879
And the more I came down from ten to one,

1603
03:48:18.000 --> 03:48:26.159
the bigger that gap becomes. So there's that gap of calmness,

1604
03:48:27.520 --> 03:48:43.680
of comfort, relaxation. It's a nice feeling, and it moves

1605
03:48:44.760 --> 03:48:52.760
those stresses or discomforts physically or emotionally, moves them.

1606
03:48:54.280 --> 03:49:00.680
Away.

1607
03:49:01.440 --> 03:49:14.200
Allows you to just slow down, someone to count again

1608
03:49:14.280 --> 03:49:20.520
from ten down to one, and notice that gap widening,

1609
03:49:22.639 --> 03:49:27.079
the gap. And as it widens, it's almost like the

1610
03:49:28.799 --> 03:49:46.399
stress and attention falls into the gap and gives you

1611
03:49:46.479 --> 03:49:58.000
that distance, that space. Now ten.

1612
03:50:02.239 --> 03:50:53.879
Nine, eight, seven, six, five, four.

1613
03:51:11.680 --> 03:51:47.239
Three two one.

1614
03:51:58.760 --> 03:52:03.200
And how did your body feel.

1615
03:52:05.079 --> 03:52:17.639
Now?

1616
03:52:17.959 --> 03:52:34.280
Can you notice that you feeling calmer, the feeling more relaxed.

1617
03:52:56.719 --> 03:53:01.120
As we now focus on your legs, just your legs.

1618
03:53:17.079 --> 03:53:37.239
We're just gonna start with focusing on your thighs. Of course,

1619
03:53:37.319 --> 03:53:42.200
it's not the most exciting thing to be doing because

1620
03:53:45.319 --> 03:53:48.479
I'm sure like most of your body is not not

1621
03:53:48.680 --> 03:54:01.040
going on right now. Just focusing on the whole of

1622
03:54:01.079 --> 03:54:07.600
your thighs, the tops of your thighs, the sides of

1623
03:54:07.639 --> 03:54:14.600
your thighs, the bottoms of your thighs, your outer thighs,

1624
03:54:14.600 --> 03:54:19.520
and your inner thighs. Basically the whole of your thigh

1625
03:54:19.639 --> 03:54:28.440
that leads into your hip and it goes down to

1626
03:54:28.600 --> 03:54:42.680
your knee joints. Now, this is a big area, it's

1627
03:54:42.680 --> 03:54:48.239
a very heavy area, it's very strong. Ply, the strongest

1628
03:54:49.159 --> 03:55:02.440
muscles in your body are in your thighs. But I

1629
03:55:02.440 --> 03:55:10.799
don't think we perhaps give enough attention to our thighs.

1630
03:55:16.680 --> 03:55:27.440
Perhaps we don't acknowledge how important our thighs are to

1631
03:55:27.600 --> 03:55:48.280
our lives, how much they actually do for us all

1632
03:55:48.319 --> 03:55:59.040
through our lives. And it may seem sound really weird, but.

1633
03:56:01.840 --> 03:56:08.120
I think that all of our body parts, especially our thighs,

1634
03:56:08.959 --> 03:56:16.319
need some TLC, a bit of love shown, a bit

1635
03:56:16.319 --> 03:56:35.040
of acknowledgement, thank you, gratitude for what our thighs do

1636
03:56:35.280 --> 03:56:47.000
for us. And I know this may sound is strange.

1637
03:56:47.520 --> 03:56:50.600
Maybe you think, why am I sure that I should

1638
03:56:50.600 --> 03:56:55.479
be out in the garden hugging a tree or something? Well,

1639
03:57:00.159 --> 03:57:03.239
to set a microphone up on a tree. That's why

1640
03:57:03.280 --> 03:57:06.000
I'm doing this indoors. Otherwise I would be outside hugging

1641
03:57:06.000 --> 03:57:13.000
a tree. Now I can't see the television from the tree.

1642
03:57:16.159 --> 03:57:20.479
If you move down to your knees, gain such an

1643
03:57:20.520 --> 03:57:30.239
important part. And I think we don't necessarily I'll speak

1644
03:57:30.280 --> 03:57:37.639
for myself here, I don't necessarily appreciate all that my

1645
03:57:37.760 --> 03:57:43.000
knees do for me until I have a problem with

1646
03:57:43.079 --> 03:57:48.040
my knee. It's occasionally if I ever maybe i'll bash

1647
03:57:48.159 --> 03:57:54.239
it or it's aching for some reason. It's then that

1648
03:57:54.319 --> 03:57:59.879
I realize how much it does. You know, the benefit

1649
03:57:59.879 --> 03:58:07.520
of being able to use my legs without any kind

1650
03:58:07.520 --> 03:58:15.200
of physical discomfort is a beautiful thing that's possibly not

1651
03:58:15.319 --> 03:58:27.040
appreciated until it's temporarily removed. You know that's comfort. But

1652
03:58:27.120 --> 03:58:31.799
as you focus on your knees, regardless of how your

1653
03:58:31.840 --> 03:58:40.799
knees feel, you can have that sense of gratitude and

1654
03:58:41.000 --> 03:58:43.719
love to your knees for all that they do for you.

1655
03:58:54.200 --> 03:58:57.399
And you can still have that attention on your thighs

1656
03:58:57.920 --> 03:59:04.200
and maybe notice how your thighs feel. Maybe you've noticed

1657
03:59:04.239 --> 03:59:22.159
that they are relaxing more deeply as you focus now

1658
03:59:23.280 --> 03:59:27.079
on the bottoms of your legs, your shins and your

1659
03:59:27.120 --> 03:59:33.520
calf muscles and the bones between your knees and your

1660
03:59:33.559 --> 03:59:46.959
feet incorporate, and of course, your ankles so important. Anyone

1661
03:59:47.000 --> 03:59:51.840
that's had even like the slightest sprain of an ankle

1662
03:59:53.000 --> 03:59:59.600
knows how how much we take our ankles for granted.

1663
04:00:05.479 --> 04:00:07.479
And it's kind of strange in a way when you

1664
04:00:07.559 --> 04:00:13.200
think that you know logically, our wrists are a lot

1665
04:00:13.319 --> 04:00:18.200
thinner than the rest of our arms, which is okay,

1666
04:00:18.239 --> 04:00:21.959
it doesn't I can't see any problem with that because

1667
04:00:21.959 --> 04:00:28.040
we're just picking stuff up. But our ankles so much

1668
04:00:28.280 --> 04:00:37.959
thinner than the rest of our legs, and from a

1669
04:00:38.000 --> 04:00:42.920
physics perspective or logical even it doesn't really make sense

1670
04:00:44.200 --> 04:00:51.600
that all this weight would ultimately be resting on your

1671
04:00:51.639 --> 04:01:01.719
ankles then leading to your feet. That thin area, a

1672
04:01:01.959 --> 04:01:11.639
thin bone. Yeah, it does so much great work. Supports us,

1673
04:01:11.719 --> 04:01:21.680
supports our body for a lifetime, helps us to balance,

1674
04:01:23.879 --> 04:01:36.719
It helps you to get around and be mobile. And

1675
04:01:36.799 --> 04:01:44.639
there's the calf muscles. Of course, when I was younger,

1676
04:01:44.840 --> 04:01:48.159
I couldn't see the point in calf muscles. Didn't seem

1677
04:01:48.200 --> 04:01:53.360
to do anything. Okay, if I walked around on tiptoes,

1678
04:01:54.040 --> 04:01:57.959
then my calf muscles get some work. But of course

1679
04:01:57.959 --> 04:02:02.879
that's not true. The calf muscles used whenever we use

1680
04:02:02.920 --> 04:02:21.239
our legs and your shins there to protect your lower legs,

1681
04:02:21.239 --> 04:02:30.440
shaped in a way almost as a protector for the bone,

1682
04:02:34.000 --> 04:02:45.920
leading of course to your ankles and your feet. But

1683
04:02:46.000 --> 04:02:47.959
we're not going to focus on your feet. We're just

1684
04:02:47.959 --> 04:02:54.120
going to focus on the legs. And I realize that

1685
04:02:54.280 --> 04:02:59.079
now that I've mentioned your feet, it probably focuses on them. Anyway,

1686
04:02:59.559 --> 04:03:02.200
for me, Earth should focus on your feet a little bit.

1687
04:03:06.200 --> 04:03:10.680
You can have them in your awareness the same as

1688
04:03:10.719 --> 04:03:15.079
you have your thighs in your awareness. Even though we

1689
04:03:15.200 --> 04:03:19.200
haven't been focusing on your thighs for a few minutes,

1690
04:03:20.920 --> 04:03:31.760
we've been focusing on your ankles, there's still that sensation

1691
04:03:32.040 --> 04:03:47.399
of comfort in your thighs and this that movement of

1692
04:03:47.719 --> 04:03:57.159
energy because the thighs hold lots of different sensations. Of course,

1693
04:03:57.200 --> 04:04:01.600
there's the muscles, the big st You're all muscles that

1694
04:04:01.719 --> 04:04:14.639
we have in our thighs. But the skin on the

1695
04:04:14.719 --> 04:04:20.200
outside of the thighs, as in the outside of all

1696
04:04:20.239 --> 04:04:29.120
of our body, can be very sensitive, sensitive to the touch,

1697
04:04:31.879 --> 04:04:45.879
sensitive to temperature, and inside your thighs the bones, there's

1698
04:04:46.239 --> 04:04:51.399
the muscle, there's the blood, vessels, the ar trees, all

1699
04:04:51.520 --> 04:04:59.879
this stuff that's inside your thighs. And I guess sometimes

1700
04:05:00.719 --> 04:05:03.520
it'd be nice if you could actually put your fingers

1701
04:05:04.479 --> 04:05:10.520
inside your thighs and a message, so you can message

1702
04:05:10.559 --> 04:05:13.680
on the outside, of course, but to be able to

1703
04:05:13.760 --> 04:05:17.000
get deep into the muscles and to be able to

1704
04:05:17.040 --> 04:05:23.399
just massage inside your thighs, message in the bones of

1705
04:05:23.479 --> 04:05:31.559
your leg massage in all the veins and just gently

1706
04:05:34.319 --> 04:05:43.920
healing your thighs, and you could move down message and

1707
04:05:44.040 --> 04:05:49.440
inside your knees, just a message in those bones, but

1708
04:05:49.559 --> 04:05:56.600
with healing fingertips, spreading that healing energy deep into the

1709
04:05:56.760 --> 04:06:06.280
joints of your knees. Of course, there's the back of

1710
04:06:06.360 --> 04:06:11.319
your your knee, you know, the inside crease where your

1711
04:06:11.360 --> 04:06:18.959
knee is. It's a very sensitive area. Very it feels

1712
04:06:19.040 --> 04:06:23.079
very nice when you stroke it. That might be because

1713
04:06:23.879 --> 04:06:28.920
it's an area that's not really touched very often. It's

1714
04:06:29.040 --> 04:06:35.559
almost like a hidden part, that crease in your legs.

1715
04:06:35.639 --> 04:06:36.639
It's almost.

1716
04:06:38.360 --> 04:06:38.840
It's like a.

1717
04:06:38.840 --> 04:06:44.120
Part that has a sensitivity which is a little bit different.

1718
04:06:51.959 --> 04:07:01.879
Of course, it's protected by your legs. So you can

1719
04:07:01.920 --> 04:07:07.319
imagine putting your fingers into that crease in your legs,

1720
04:07:12.639 --> 04:07:16.600
that fold in between your legs. You can just message

1721
04:07:16.600 --> 04:07:23.719
with your fingertips. Imagine your fingertips going inside message in

1722
04:07:23.840 --> 04:07:33.399
the muscle tissue. You can of course feel the bones

1723
04:07:33.799 --> 04:07:45.760
of your knees heading through your fingertips, and then as

1724
04:07:45.799 --> 04:07:51.479
you go down to your calf muscles. Now that's the

1725
04:07:51.520 --> 04:07:55.040
part i'd like to be able to really put my

1726
04:07:55.159 --> 04:08:04.000
fingertips deep inside my calf muscles, massage in every single

1727
04:08:04.959 --> 04:08:07.040
tissue of that muscle.

1728
04:08:08.200 --> 04:08:10.399
Healing every part.

1729
04:08:16.000 --> 04:08:22.120
And then doing the same for my shins, massage in

1730
04:08:22.959 --> 04:08:29.959
gently stroking the bones, gently stroking them, healing in a

1731
04:08:30.040 --> 04:08:37.319
loving way, because they deserve to be treated as the

1732
04:08:37.360 --> 04:08:41.319
precious bones that they are. Because our legs are so

1733
04:08:41.479 --> 04:08:45.079
precious as in all the other parts of our body,

1734
04:08:47.520 --> 04:09:01.399
the more precious of any chul on the planet. When

1735
04:09:01.440 --> 04:09:13.000
you start to think about your legs in this way,

1736
04:09:13.840 --> 04:09:20.520
it can change your perspective. It might sound a bit

1737
04:09:23.600 --> 04:09:27.879
a bit silly to start with the idea of having

1738
04:09:28.719 --> 04:09:38.760
love for your legs, showing appreciation for your thighs, wanting

1739
04:09:38.879 --> 04:09:42.879
to be able to put your hands in your thighs,

1740
04:09:45.000 --> 04:09:51.440
massage the muscles and the bones, and to get your

1741
04:09:51.479 --> 04:09:59.920
fingers deep in there, releasing all tension, just to show

1742
04:10:01.879 --> 04:10:09.280
how much you care about your legs, how much you

1743
04:10:09.399 --> 04:10:17.959
care for what your legs do for you regularly, your knees,

1744
04:10:18.200 --> 04:10:31.040
your calves, your ankles, the strength of your ankles, considering

1745
04:10:31.239 --> 04:10:35.760
how thin they are compared to the rest of your legs,

1746
04:10:35.879 --> 04:10:49.600
especially your thighs. Yeah, they're so strong, so flexible, absolutely

1747
04:10:49.840 --> 04:11:01.680
amazing things. Your ankles are truly a gift because of

1748
04:11:01.719 --> 04:11:13.040
what they do for you, supporting all that weight, regardless

1749
04:11:13.079 --> 04:11:17.079
of how what weight you are, Even if you only

1750
04:11:17.479 --> 04:11:22.280
ate stone, there's still a lot of weight for these

1751
04:11:22.680 --> 04:11:30.319
little ankles. Now I'm a lot heavier than eat stone

1752
04:11:30.760 --> 04:11:39.959
double down, Yet my ankles support my body all the time.

1753
04:11:43.639 --> 04:11:46.680
Whether they do give off a sigh of relief when

1754
04:11:46.680 --> 04:11:55.520
I sit down. In fact, my whole legs do. My

1755
04:11:55.680 --> 04:12:02.840
feet feet also go, my toes clap. We're so happy.

1756
04:12:22.600 --> 04:12:31.840
Your legs really are amazing. And I know that talking

1757
04:12:31.879 --> 04:12:38.319
about talking about your legs is probably possibly among the

1758
04:12:38.360 --> 04:12:43.959
most most boring things I've ever heard anyone say. Possibly

1759
04:12:46.799 --> 04:12:53.520
you're boring or not. Everything I said is true. Your

1760
04:12:53.639 --> 04:13:14.239
legs are amazing. Your legs deserve not just respect, They

1761
04:13:14.280 --> 04:13:17.600
deserve to relax deeply.

1762
04:13:24.879 --> 04:13:27.879
They deserve to take some time out of.

1763
04:13:27.879 --> 04:13:57.000
The day to just let go completely. Your legs really

1764
04:13:57.159 --> 04:14:10.000
can relax. And because the legs are so such a

1765
04:14:10.360 --> 04:14:15.920
most you know, very important part of your body. When

1766
04:14:15.920 --> 04:14:19.399
you relax your legs, the rest of your body also

1767
04:14:20.639 --> 04:14:38.159
naturally follows in that journey of comfort. I can feel

1768
04:14:38.159 --> 04:14:46.239
it in my hips. My hips feel really loose, and

1769
04:14:46.319 --> 04:14:51.319
also my lower back as well. My lower back really

1770
04:14:51.959 --> 04:14:56.639
feels it feels stretched, even though I'm just sitting in

1771
04:14:56.680 --> 04:15:02.719
a chair and there's no stretching as far as I'm

1772
04:15:02.760 --> 04:15:05.639
aware that I'm doing, but it's almost as if the

1773
04:15:05.760 --> 04:15:09.719
muscles are just relaxed so much that there is a

1774
04:15:09.879 --> 04:15:18.159
natural stretch as the tension has reduced a lot.

1775
04:15:34.479 --> 04:15:37.600
And I'm now going to count down from ten down

1776
04:15:37.639 --> 04:15:42.520
to one, and.

1777
04:15:42.559 --> 04:16:05.120
You can continue to feel wonderfully relaxed. Ten nine, eight, seven,

1778
04:16:07.879 --> 04:16:17.000
six five four.

1779
04:16:19.959 --> 04:16:35.920
Three two one relax.

1780
04:16:43.760 --> 04:16:47.600
So I'm just going to count down from five down

1781
04:16:47.639 --> 04:16:52.120
to one, and as a countdown, if you just focus

1782
04:16:52.200 --> 04:16:59.920
on the numbers, just the numbers counting down, and notice

1783
04:17:01.040 --> 04:17:09.079
how you feel in this moment as you hear the

1784
04:17:09.159 --> 04:17:17.280
numbers counting down, knowing that those numbers counting down represent

1785
04:17:18.239 --> 04:17:27.280
you feeling calmer, not just in your body, but also

1786
04:17:29.520 --> 04:17:36.200
relaxing your mind. I'll just notice how you feel. There's

1787
04:17:36.280 --> 04:17:42.079
nothing to do, there's nothing to say, there's nothing to

1788
04:17:42.159 --> 04:18:33.600
think about, starting with number five, four three two one.

1789
04:18:34.639 --> 04:18:46.879
As you notice the gradual letting go of the tension

1790
04:18:47.120 --> 04:18:54.319
in your body, you may also begin to notice and

1791
04:18:54.399 --> 04:19:05.600
be aware of how your mind is starting to slow down.

1792
04:19:05.920 --> 04:19:12.280
This is just a natural thing that happens. It's not

1793
04:19:12.479 --> 04:19:17.719
really a special procedure. It's just natural because as your

1794
04:19:18.959 --> 04:19:25.040
body relaxes, your mind also starts to relax, and the

1795
04:19:25.040 --> 04:19:28.719
more your mind relaxes, the more your body relaxes. It's

1796
04:19:28.840 --> 04:19:39.159
just a continuous circle of relaxation. And there is that

1797
04:19:40.280 --> 04:19:48.200
calmness that comes from relative quietness. You know, even even

1798
04:19:48.200 --> 04:19:54.719
if there's background sounds either your side or mind, it's

1799
04:19:54.879 --> 04:20:00.799
still going to be quite calm. You know, you haven't

1800
04:20:00.799 --> 04:20:05.799
got the television on, there's no music in the background

1801
04:20:05.840 --> 04:20:08.600
unless you're listening to the recording. With music. Of course,

1802
04:20:13.399 --> 04:20:15.559
you're very likely not going to be sitting in a

1803
04:20:15.680 --> 04:20:18.799
room with other people. Of course you might be, but

1804
04:20:20.079 --> 04:20:23.399
generally it's more ideal if you can do this on

1805
04:20:23.440 --> 04:20:34.799
your own, so no distractions, and when you stop thinking

1806
04:20:34.840 --> 04:20:52.040
about stuff, relaxation automatically rises. A sense of comfort starts

1807
04:20:52.079 --> 04:21:00.879
to grow, and without trying to build it up into

1808
04:21:00.920 --> 04:21:13.079
something fantastical or something magical, this is just a natural process,

1809
04:21:15.399 --> 04:21:26.159
something that's easy to accomplish. In fact, it's almost you know,

1810
04:21:26.239 --> 04:21:33.120
the sense of relaxing completely happens really when you put

1811
04:21:33.239 --> 04:21:37.159
no effort into it. It's not something that you can

1812
04:21:37.239 --> 04:21:49.040
really force. It's something that happens naturally. And part of

1813
04:21:49.280 --> 04:21:59.680
the process of this recording and others is simply two

1814
04:22:01.079 --> 04:22:11.559
allow you to take advantage of this space this time,

1815
04:22:14.479 --> 04:22:25.399
to just let go, to just be here, to be

1816
04:22:26.000 --> 04:22:39.440
in tune with how you feel, yet with the intention

1817
04:22:41.639 --> 04:22:53.120
of wanting to relax deeply and maybe even to fall asleep,

1818
04:22:54.280 --> 04:22:59.520
depending on what it is that you wish for yourself

1819
04:23:01.200 --> 04:23:16.319
in this moment. As we know, relaxing is the majority

1820
04:23:17.520 --> 04:23:22.000
of the process of falling asleep. The actual falling asleep

1821
04:23:22.040 --> 04:23:29.000
part is the tiny bit at the end. The deeper

1822
04:23:30.159 --> 04:23:52.639
relaxed you become, the easier you find yourself drifting. You

1823
04:23:52.680 --> 04:23:59.719
can also if you choose stay focused on my voice

1824
04:24:01.479 --> 04:24:33.040
and really enjoy the process, gradually relaxing each muscle in

1825
04:24:33.079 --> 04:25:07.879
your body effortlessly and just observing the sensation, letting go completely.

1826
04:25:13.879 --> 04:25:22.120
This time, I'm going to count from six down to one,

1827
04:25:22.760 --> 04:25:31.959
and you can notice your mind calming down more with

1828
04:25:32.319 --> 04:25:46.120
each number that you hear me say, naturally, feeling calm

1829
04:25:46.520 --> 04:25:47.520
and slow.

1830
04:25:51.280 --> 04:27:56.120
And be peaceful. Six, five, four, three, two.

1831
04:28:24.399 --> 04:28:51.760
What being aware how your mind to.

1832
04:28:52.040 --> 04:29:20.479
Slow right down, sinking deeply into relaxation. And as you

1833
04:29:20.680 --> 04:29:29.360
focus on your mind, you may notice that there are

1834
04:29:29.479 --> 04:29:39.680
some thoughts still there, maybe some stubborn thoughts that for

1835
04:29:39.760 --> 04:29:52.879
some reason perhaps need your attention. So what you can

1836
04:29:53.040 --> 04:30:06.760
do is send love of those thoughts. Sprinkle those thoughts

1837
04:30:10.879 --> 04:30:16.799
with love, like all petals from a flower. Just sprinkle

1838
04:30:16.840 --> 04:30:24.000
it over them, petals filled with love towards those thoughts,

1839
04:30:24.520 --> 04:30:31.879
to let those thoughts know that you're not abandoned in them.

1840
04:30:32.319 --> 04:30:40.120
You just need them. You require them to just calm down,

1841
04:30:42.360 --> 04:30:59.799
slow down, quiet down. And now, so as you focus

1842
04:30:59.840 --> 04:31:05.239
on those remaining thoughts, as we count down this time

1843
04:31:05.319 --> 04:31:13.760
from seven down to one. With each number, just imagine

1844
04:31:13.879 --> 04:31:30.079
sprinkling those flower petals of love, kindness, gratitude over those thoughts,

1845
04:31:35.120 --> 04:31:41.319
which will allow them to just melt away and relax deeply.

1846
04:31:45.479 --> 04:31:54.680
Of every number, those thoughts will become more.

1847
04:31:58.479 --> 04:32:00.239
And more relax.

1848
04:32:05.479 --> 04:34:38.720
Starting number seven, six, five, four, three, two, one leting. Now,

1849
04:34:41.840 --> 04:34:46.000
notice how relaxed.

1850
04:34:49.000 --> 04:34:50.240
You're feeling.

1851
04:34:53.479 --> 04:35:09.119
In your body. We're going to focus on your hands,

1852
04:35:14.919 --> 04:35:21.319
because the more relaxed your hands are, the more relaxed

1853
04:35:21.439 --> 04:35:42.119
your body and mind are. And there you focus on

1854
04:35:42.319 --> 04:35:52.880
your hands and your fingers, there's nothing needed to be done.

1855
04:35:53.840 --> 04:35:59.400
There's no clenching of fists or dance in the fingers.

1856
04:35:59.040 --> 04:35:59.959
Or anything like that.

1857
04:36:01.119 --> 04:36:21.040
Yeah, it's just noticing and focusing on your hands, noticing

1858
04:36:21.360 --> 04:36:42.759
how they feel. Because the more relaxed do your hands feel,

1859
04:36:46.240 --> 04:36:55.439
the calmer your mind feels, and the more comforts you

1860
04:36:55.680 --> 04:37:18.880
feel throughout your body. And gee may have already noticed

1861
04:37:23.159 --> 04:37:35.880
you mind is starting.

1862
04:37:38.759 --> 04:37:39.959
To dress.

1863
04:37:53.319 --> 04:38:08.159
Like said, just on your hands and fingers, allowing them

1864
04:38:08.680 --> 04:38:22.119
to experience a real deepening of that relaxation in your

1865
04:38:22.279 --> 04:38:41.119
hands and fingers, more and more relaxed. With each number.

1866
04:38:48.599 --> 04:38:49.560
From eight.

1867
04:38:51.759 --> 04:39:04.040
Down to one, you can almost feel the healing and

1868
04:39:04.159 --> 04:39:20.680
relaxing energy spreading into your hands and fingers becoming yearn

1869
04:39:21.279 --> 04:39:32.680
law relaxing with each number, year.

1870
04:39:36.200 --> 04:39:39.680
Going down, eight.

1871
04:39:40.240 --> 04:40:09.880
Down to one, drifting, drifting again, starting with umpah eight

1872
04:40:47.560 --> 04:44:03.119
seven six, foy four three, just being here now, nothing

1873
04:44:03.159 --> 04:44:13.279
to think about, nothing to do, nothing to say, and

1874
04:44:13.319 --> 04:44:25.119
everything just feels calm. This is your natural state of being.

1875
04:44:28.759 --> 04:44:34.159
This is how you just normally feel when you take

1876
04:44:34.240 --> 04:44:38.119
away all that other stuff.

1877
04:44:40.119 --> 04:44:45.080
That we add, you know, things that stress and worry in.

1878
04:44:48.159 --> 04:45:00.720
Over thinking, anxiety, change, just genuinely thinking of our stuff.

1879
04:45:02.880 --> 04:45:06.919
You take that away, which is what we do what

1880
04:45:06.959 --> 04:45:07.240
we do.

1881
04:45:07.479 --> 04:45:24.799
Now you're left with a real sense of peacefulness which

1882
04:45:24.959 --> 04:45:35.159
comes to you very quickly, because ultimately it's just a feeling,

1883
04:45:39.200 --> 04:45:47.560
a feeling of confidence, almost as if you've got inside

1884
04:45:47.639 --> 04:45:59.799
yourself and you've found a special place where everything is peaceful,

1885
04:46:02.959 --> 04:46:07.240
place where you can film relaxed.

1886
04:46:07.119 --> 04:46:08.680
And your natural.

1887
04:46:10.279 --> 04:46:16.279
Sense of comfort, a place where you.

1888
04:46:15.959 --> 04:46:23.560
Can be you, where you can.

1889
04:46:22.720 --> 04:46:29.400
Accept yourself for who you are, the place where you're

1890
04:46:29.400 --> 04:46:39.919
not trying to please anybody else ever, the place where

1891
04:46:40.000 --> 04:46:49.520
you can actually not just love yourself, but in some

1892
04:46:49.560 --> 04:46:59.040
ways more importantly, you can like yourself, appreciate who you are,

1893
04:47:07.880 --> 04:47:10.040
a sense of gratitude.

1894
04:47:12.720 --> 04:47:14.520
See the air all around you.

1895
04:47:22.159 --> 04:47:27.080
That's also a place where you can.

1896
04:47:26.919 --> 04:47:28.520
Actually feel.

1897
04:47:29.919 --> 04:47:44.040
The healing energy soaking into your body. Healing energy soaking

1898
04:47:45.240 --> 04:47:55.720
into your body, and the healing energy spreads through your veins,

1899
04:47:59.439 --> 04:48:06.360
traveling to each for every single part of your body.

1900
04:48:12.240 --> 04:48:16.880
When you start to realize that actually that healing energy

1901
04:48:19.319 --> 04:48:25.720
it's not just entered into your brain, it's become part

1902
04:48:26.240 --> 04:48:35.599
of your brain, and the spinal fluid.

1903
04:48:36.680 --> 04:48:44.759
Is now mixed with healing energy, just.

1904
04:48:46.799 --> 04:48:53.319
Allowing you to feel so much more relaxed and healthy

1905
04:48:54.799 --> 04:49:06.319
in this moment. But Also, you start to realize that actually,

1906
04:49:08.720 --> 04:49:17.799
what's happening now is that healing, relaxing energy spreading through

1907
04:49:17.880 --> 04:49:30.720
your body. It's actually changing your life. It's actually changing

1908
04:49:30.799 --> 04:49:35.919
the way you're going to feel, not just now, but

1909
04:49:36.080 --> 04:49:46.319
tomorrow and the next day. As your health improves, not

1910
04:49:46.560 --> 04:49:54.040
just your physical health but your mental health. Things that

1911
04:49:54.360 --> 04:49:59.240
east to bother you in the past, for some reason,

1912
04:50:00.400 --> 04:50:02.439
no longer have.

1913
04:50:02.680 --> 04:50:04.720
The effect that they used to.

1914
04:50:07.639 --> 04:50:10.479
Because something has changed.

1915
04:50:11.479 --> 04:50:12.759
Deep within you.

1916
04:50:17.799 --> 04:50:24.240
Maybe things they used to cause you to feel anger

1917
04:50:28.040 --> 04:50:35.439
no longer have that power to control you.

1918
04:50:37.840 --> 04:50:40.240
The way they seem to be able to before.

1919
04:50:43.919 --> 04:50:52.159
As you realize that you're the one it decides.

1920
04:50:54.680 --> 04:51:00.560
What affects You're the.

1921
04:51:00.400 --> 04:51:11.200
One who decides to feel relaxed and calm when you

1922
04:51:11.360 --> 04:51:26.319
choose to enjoy noticing these natural developments and healing.

1923
04:51:28.479 --> 04:51:30.520
Continue to grow.

1924
04:51:33.000 --> 04:51:44.360
And improve your life day by day, including of course,

1925
04:51:44.439 --> 04:52:01.959
your ability to relax so much easier and sleeping. It's

1926
04:52:02.000 --> 04:52:12.360
the most natural thing in the world to you, because

1927
04:52:12.599 --> 04:52:18.639
fall in the sleep is something that you've done so

1928
04:52:18.880 --> 04:52:20.279
many times.

1929
04:52:21.479 --> 04:52:27.159
In your life, and you know that you were born,

1930
04:52:28.639 --> 04:52:29.040
as we.

1931
04:52:29.040 --> 04:52:39.479
All were, with the ability to fall asleep naturally, and

1932
04:52:39.599 --> 04:52:44.240
you're born with that ability.

1933
04:52:46.560 --> 04:52:54.639
To just drift on into a deep, healing sleep.

1934
04:53:00.599 --> 04:53:05.360
Even when we're kids, sometimes will fall asleep and we

1935
04:53:05.439 --> 04:53:11.959
don't even want to try to stay awake. Maybe it's

1936
04:53:12.040 --> 04:53:16.479
a birthday in the morning, or it's Christmas or holiday

1937
04:53:16.639 --> 04:53:17.240
or something.

1938
04:53:17.080 --> 04:53:19.720
We look forward to. I don't want to go to sleep.

1939
04:53:21.959 --> 04:53:26.919
But the more you want to stay awake, the more

1940
04:53:27.159 --> 04:53:34.680
we just start to drift, And the more you fight

1941
04:53:34.840 --> 04:53:38.040
to drifting, or you try to stop his side from

1942
04:53:38.119 --> 04:53:41.680
drift in a safe.

1943
04:53:41.159 --> 04:53:52.200
The depot and stronger thout, drifting becomes. Because we're born

1944
04:53:53.200 --> 04:53:59.080
not just with the need to relax deeply than to

1945
04:53:59.240 --> 04:54:09.119
naturally for asleep, but it's our birthright, it's part of

1946
04:54:09.159 --> 04:54:20.759
our DNA, and sometimes as we get older in life,

1947
04:54:21.159 --> 04:54:23.599
perhaps at times.

1948
04:54:23.639 --> 04:54:25.240
We have the thought in.

1949
04:54:29.639 --> 04:54:40.200
The relaxing completely it's not only a wonderfully pleasant experience,

1950
04:54:45.959 --> 04:54:47.919
it's also really easy.

1951
04:54:59.279 --> 04:55:07.200
It's very easy to let go, because that's all it is.

1952
04:55:07.319 --> 04:55:07.880
It is just.

1953
04:55:11.319 --> 04:55:15.799
Deciding to let go.

1954
04:55:21.040 --> 04:55:28.799
When you press the play button on my recordings, you

1955
04:55:29.119 --> 04:55:39.959
have given permission from my voice to relax. When you

1956
04:55:40.080 --> 04:55:45.279
press that play button, you have given me permission for

1957
04:55:45.439 --> 04:56:00.400
my words to effect. You are positive only a positive.

1958
04:56:00.080 --> 04:56:00.759
To wait.

1959
04:56:04.479 --> 04:56:23.560
Opening up mind to useful and human suggestions.

1960
04:56:28.200 --> 04:56:28.720
You can have.

1961
04:56:33.200 --> 04:56:45.599
Such an amazing effect how you feel right now. As

1962
04:56:45.720 --> 04:56:56.799
well as those changes, they continue long after the recording things.

1963
04:56:58.360 --> 04:57:14.040
Those changes deed contem to fourish and go, transforming your

1964
04:57:14.119 --> 04:57:26.959
life in what positude beautiful way allow you to move

1965
04:57:28.360 --> 04:57:33.560
bold in your life, in the courage and the eats

1966
04:57:35.159 --> 04:57:57.520
for yourself. This feeling, this feeling experience of safety, content calmness.

1967
04:58:05.159 --> 04:58:15.520
Thinks so nice?

1968
04:58:16.040 --> 04:59:28.040
Such a wows to.

1969
04:58:18.720 --> 04:59:08.240
Take what mm hmm stop