Aug. 21, 2025
(no music) (5 hours) I bored myself to sleep | LMBYTS #1417 | Jason Newland | 21st August 2025

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Hello, Hello, and welcome to Jason neew Land dot com. Mama, mama, mama, mama. Hello, Hello,
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welcome to Jasonnewland dot com. My name is Jason new
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and yeah, I'm here with Vinny, who just woke me
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up at s Peticulary early in the morning. At UH.
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I thought he wanted something to eat, so I got
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him some new breakfast. He didn't really eat much food yesterday.
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He had dried food, but he didn't eat much wet food.
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Just put it on the floor or on a bowl,
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you know, and he just chuck it on the floor.
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I'm not a I'm not a cave man, and he
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does it. He's not interested. So he's just lying here
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next to me, very quiet, looks like he's thinking, like
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he's contemplating, almost like he's got some kind of philosophical
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dilemma he's battling with. And you might think, oh, how
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did I come to that conclusion by looking at the
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back of his head. I don't know. Maybe it's it's
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just a feeling, just just yeah, maybe an invisible emotional,
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spiritual even connection that we have. And you may be
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wondering where I'm going with this, and so am I
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I'm really I've got no idea what I'm talking about
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right now. But then, how how often do I know
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what I'm talking about? How often? I mean quite a lot.
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It's just me just waffling on about nothing. And it
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seems to be another case of that particular activity occurring again, Yes, sir,
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so how tired? M hm, so so so so so. Yesterday, Oh,
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I had to do my pit forms, my personal independence
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payment forms, and h h h I put them off.
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I put them off for about a week and a week,
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about a week, yeah, about a week, and then yesterday
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I had nine days to get it back to them.
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It's so I decided that's it. I'm gonna get on
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with it. I'm gonna do it. I want to get
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down to it. I'm gonna, you know, cut my toenails.
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I was gonna have three baths. I was gonna try
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and invent a new a new way of cooking fish fingers,
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a way that's never been done before, maybe discovers the
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a new alternative for the wheel. Pretty much anything but
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to fill the pit forming. I was looking for distractions,
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excuses not to do that form. Fill it in because
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it's not it. I just didn't find it easy. I didn't,
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really I didn't. Yeah, it wasn't particularly the enjoyable, and
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I got it. I did it. I did do it,
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and I made a bit of a hash up of it.
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They may well send it back. I mean, honestly, I
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think I'm probably going to be the only person who
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gets their pitforms sent back to them graded like A
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to D. Honestly, I've been probably be like D minus,
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like needed more work, more preparation. You know. Way, why
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do you keep talking about donuts. There's gonna be lots
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of weird for sort of probably comments on there about it.
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I mean, we didn't need need to know about yours toenails,
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so I need to cut my toenails. I think that's
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what it's now in my mind. I mean, don't get
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me wrong. My toenails aren't like out of control. They're
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not living their own life. You know, I'm not getting
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woken up at two in the morning by my toenails
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that are coming back from a nightclub. I'm not. My
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toenails are fine, They're still intact, but they're just getting
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a little bit long. I want, I say long. You know,
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nothing weird. They're not, you know, I haven't got like
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the local paper newspaper, like begging me for pictures. It's
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nothing like that. They're not unusually wrong. H just long, good,
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long good. That's all. That's all it is. Do you
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think I sound like James Bond? Roger Roger Bond. That's
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the way it is. My name is Jason Nomine's. My
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name's Newland, Jason new Land, None of them. Who's he
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have a Bond? George Lasonby? How weird is that.
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One James Bond movie?
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Just one? His name stayed famous being the second James Bond.
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Wait a minute, I thought it was Roger Miller. Who
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is the second James Bond? Roger Miller, No, George Lazenby. Apparently.
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I think he didn't want to do it again. He
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didn't enjoy the experience, I think, or some other reason.
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There's going to be a reason, isn't there why he
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didn't do a second one? And I don't know about you.
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I mean I don't know where where you live in
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the world.
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And.
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I don't know what you're doing right now. I mean
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you might be might be doing yoga. I don't know.
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Die getting funny looks from the other people on the bus.
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I don't know. But in my country, you know, the
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country that I'm in charge of, they still the TV
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channels still, you know, the main terrestrial channels still show
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Chains Bond movies. And bear it in mind all the
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different Chains Bonds that they have been and there's been
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a few. Now. Can I remember the last time that
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George Lazonba's movie was on television, his version of Jam's Bond. No,
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wait a minute, I know, it's just yesterday, That's what
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I'm thinking about it. No, it wasn't. I can't remember.
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They never put it on. Well, not saying they never
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put it on, but they rarely put even the It's
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like the early Change Bond movies that seemed to be
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on the you know, sort of Christmas, not Christmas, but
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you know, during the daytime kind of holiday season. It
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seems to be the Roger Moore or Sean Connery. Roger
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Moore hasn't made a Change Bond movie for six hundred years.
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I always liked Roger Moore. There was something about him
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I liked, you know, there was the old what was
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that he was in Tony Curtis. Him and Tony Curtis
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were on a TV show in the sixties a good
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TV show. The chemistry was really good. It was funny,
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it was bright, colorful. What was it called. I forget,
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but it was I quite liked it. Not in the
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sixties because I wasn't alive in the sixties, but before,
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you know, when I was alive. Most of the TV
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programs I've enjoyed have been when I've been alive. Okay,
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that sounded weird. Oh, I forget the name of the
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TV show, but it's a good TV show. Roger Moore
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before being James Bond, before changing his name to James Bond,
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he was Simon Templar The Saint Do Do Do Do
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Do Do, which I don't think is the do.
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Do Do? Do Do Do Do?
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Something like that the Saint. It's very little difference between
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the Saint and James Bond, except that James Bond is
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a little bit more determined, a little bit more happy.
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Maybe it's almost like the same character. He even looks
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the same. I don't know why why it was called
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the Saint, because they had a different version in the
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early eighties, I think, and it was a Saint, but
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it was a new actor called Ian Ogilvy. It was great,
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really really good I'd never seen the original, so I
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had nothing to pare it with. But I still think
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Ian Ogilvy was great. But the advert show before the
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TV show came on, do you do something like that?
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And he had a halo above his head. They'd look
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up and I thought, I gotta get me one of them.
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That is so cool. It's like almost like he winked
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to himself and his halo just appeared above his head
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this light and I thought, wow. And I remember saying
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to my stepmm, because this is before the TV show
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came on, I said, is he can he turn himself invisible?
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She said, you have to wait and see. Now. Clearly
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she knew that he wasn't going to go invisible because
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she had been around in the sixties and she'd seen
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the original one with Roger Moor. I said, has he
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got superpowers? Can you fly? And she said, You're going
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to have to wait and see. I said, has he
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got super speed? She said what I said? What super speed?
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For example, if someone chucked an egg, a rotten egg,
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at him, would you be able to just like stop
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the egg, just take it out of the air because
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everything's moving so slowly, and replace it with a nice
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fresh egg and then go and stand back where he
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was so that he gets covered in the nice ec
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rather than the off egg. And she said no, but
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why would he want to do that? I said, what
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do you mean? Why would you can be going to
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be hit by a smelly off egg? Would you? She said, yeah,
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but if he could move extra fast. Firstly, I've got
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two questions. I said, okay, so you got one question left.
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She said no, I got two questions. I said, so
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you're not including a way of ours a statement, wasn't it?
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She said yeah. I said, okay, you haven't anette two there.
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I'm only nine. She said, all right, but you should
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know a difference beween a statement and a question. And
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I said, I'm still learning, I said, and you wouldn't
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believe what else? Step mummy, She said what.
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I said?
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They're only trying to teach me French.
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French.
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I've only just learned to what a false stop is
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in English, and they they're trying to teach me another language.
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She said, I know. I tried to have a word
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with them. I said, you did. I said, yeah, I
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tried to let him know that. And you weren't really
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perhaps up for learning a new language, especially French. Just
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didn't think that you'd be, you know, wanted to do it,
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and that you wouldn't be able to do it. I said, okay,
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so how did it get on? She said that I know,
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what do you mean? So I couldn't understand them? The
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bloke was French. Okay, I said, step mom? He said, yes,
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step son, she said, she said, he said, I don't
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know someone's talking. I said, when you asked her question,
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the question to the French teacher, you know, when you said, oh,
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you know, when you made this statement, sorry that perhaps
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I wasn't ready to learn a new language. She said yeah.
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I said, were you in the office? She said no?
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I said, we you in the canteen? She said no.
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I said, were you on the roof? She giggled, and
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he said no, I wasn't on a roof. I said,
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in that case, were you per chance sitting in the
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classroom with all the other pupils. She said yeah, How
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did you know that? I said, okay, And you know,
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just be a reminder when you're in that classroom with
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the other pupils learning French, am I correct in saying
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that you could only speak in French? There's no English
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speaking at all, and she said we we we we.
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I said, oh, I will go if you need to,
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and we're both laughed because I should explain this. We
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like going. We we means yes yes in France because
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in France, you know, if you're listening in France, you're
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already going to be probably be aware of this. I
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mean it might be it might be new information, but
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in France this might blow your mind. But you know, anyway,
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I feel like I'm kind of letting I give too
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much away in these podcasts. Too much can knowledge Anyway,
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In France, they have a different language, they speak different
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It's almost like they've got a different word for everything.
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And we we means yes yes. But over here we
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we need means got to do we We like a
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number one like a we not not literally. I don't
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and I don't shout out we when I younate, I don't,
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I don't. I sometimes do sometimes do you ever stand
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on a little stall when you go to a toilet?
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And do we we just to pretend to be taller, like, oh,
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this is what it feels like. I can't be the
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only one that does that. Anyway, I said, so you
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was in the classroom. She said yeah. I said, you
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can only speak French. She said yeah. I said, that's
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probably the problem. There's a miscommunication, he was probably if
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I'm just guessing speaking French and you don't know any French.
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She said yeah. But there's something about him. He's very captivating.
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I said, do you mean the big box of chocolates
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he has on his desk that everyone can just help themselves.
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She said yeah, Oh it was lovely. I said, fair enough,
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but not lovely enough to try and learn a new language.
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And she said, well, maybe not. I said see, And
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then she said something very weird to me. She said,
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do you see j J. I said, yes, step Mummy wondering.
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You know, she never called me that before, I said,
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She said, I got a question for you. I said,
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all right, come on. She said, do you remember why
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we're talking about French lessons and boxes of chocolate on
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the teacher's desk. And I said, I'll be honest with you,
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I'm not sure. We kind of yeah, I don't really know.
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It's I don't know. She said, yeah, you sound confused.
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I said, well, I'm not confused. I'm just I'm interested,
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very mildly interested in what comes next, because I don't
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really know how I got here to this part of
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the recording, and on let's face it, it's not the
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first time I've ended up in the middle of nowhere conversationally.
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But I'm trying to find a way out so I
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can get back to the original content or subject matter
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that was being verbally discussed. And my stepmom shouted out
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the Saint said, she said it was the Saint, the
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TV show The Saint for Okay, what's that God do
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with France? Though, she said, I don't know, and I
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can't do all the work for you. I thought it'd
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