July 1, 2025

(no music) (5 hours) Attempted Monday’s Boring Objects | LMBYTS #1385 | Jason Newland | 30th June 2025

(no music) (5 hours) Attempted Monday’s Boring Objects | LMBYTS #1385 | Jason Newland | 30th June 2025
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Hello, and welcome to Jasonnewland dot com. My name's Jason Newland.

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This is let me bore you to sleep. Please only

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listen when you can safely closer eze. Today is Monday,

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the thirtieth of Dewan Tall zero little five. Then he

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is carried up next to me on the sofa. Something's

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got his attention because he's is a pricked up and

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he's looking around. So haven't you heard something, haven't you? Yeah,

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he's not quite so angry with me today because although

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I did leave him on his own again visiting my

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day by in hospital M I I left early, so

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I got a left by it with another neighbor who

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took me to the hospital after dropping off his wife

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and the kid at school and work. And I got there.

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My left here at half seven, got there about core

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past eight a M. And I left and B B B.

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I'm not sure what I left. I left about one.

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I think I'm not exactly yeah, I'm not exactly sure.

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So I was home. I think I was home by

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two o'clock. I took Vinnie into the garden too, do

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wee wiz, But it's too hot outside for him to

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go out properly. So I'm not gonna he won't be

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going out until probably six seven six or something like

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that because it's just a bit too hot. He did

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have a nice w alk this morning, which was about

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half an hour out. We was out for about half

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an hour, but I think it because it was so

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early in the morning. I mean, we did wake up

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about I don't know, twenty to four, because we did.

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We went to bed about half eight last night and

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woke up about twenty to four, and so we got up.

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I got up, I had my breakfast. He got up

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as well, and we went for a walk about half

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six till. Yeah, it was about twenty five to seven

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till about five past seven, and then I had a shower,

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So I got back, had a shower, yeah, and then

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pretty much had about three minutes to get prepared to

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go downstairs and get a lift. So it all worked

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out okay. Potentially, Potentially I was maybe moving a bit

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too fast because normally, you know, I'm not I'm not

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necessarily set to a timer. So I found that I

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was making slightly more noise than usual when I was

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I think I was probably attempting to make less noise.

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I find that the try the more I try to

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make less noise, the more noise I tend to make.

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So if I'm in the if I'm gonss, I'm in

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the kitchen and I'm trying to wash up really quietly

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because it's early in the morning. I don't want to disturb,

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you know, the neighbors. That's when I start dropping stuff

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in the sink. It's weird, isn't it strange? And it's strange.

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So yeah, I just want to say thank you to

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everyone that's sent their well wishes for my neighbor. It's

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very kind of you, and I do appreciate your support.

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He So I'll give you the update. I know this

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is going to be Monday's boring objects. I'm going to

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talk about hospitals, but none of it is going to

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be medical or anything like that. Okay, so it was

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a little bit, but it's not really good. It's not

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It's all going to be tasteful, if that's the right word.

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I'll try and keep everything tasteful apart from some of

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my jokes. Maybe I don't know. Well, don't you tell jokes,

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do you? I've never remember you ever telling a joke. Okay,

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I don't if jokes is a correct word. I think

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they're jokes. Maybe other people don't know, they don't notice. So, yeah,

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hospitals is going to be and maybe I've even done

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that before, but we're doing it again, doing it again.

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So I will talk about my experiences in hospitals, including

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being in hospital twice myself, also going to hospital a

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few times for different things, and visiting people in hospital.

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The first time I did hypnosis with someone in hospital. Yeah,

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so this had a few little instances along the way,

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visiting my nan in hospital, but I mean that was

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that was a journey, and that took me about five hours,

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six hours to get there, and then when I get there,

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I'm told that it's closing time or yeah, kind of

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that wasn't good. So the update on me neighbor is

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two things. Really, his next door neighbor, his current next

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door neighbor that's in the bed next to him, is

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leaving tomorrow and so he won't be there. And they're close.

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They're really close. They've been together for a week and

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you can see there's a it's almost like a brotherly

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kind of thing going on there. It's nice. And this

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is ten. This bloke's probably ten years younger than him.

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I mean, I think he's about sixty six. She's kind

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of in the middle between me and my neighbor. My

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neighbor's seventy eight on Friday, I think this week. The

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other neighbor this Friday, third Wednesday, froze whatever. I'm fifty four,

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he's sixty six, and everyone's sixty sixty eight, so it's

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kind of midway between us, and you can see there's

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a playfulness between them. I did discover something quite interesting

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about my neighbor today from his neighbor, his new neighbor. Now,

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my neighbor can't stop talking. He literally can't stop talking,

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and he just talks, talks, talks. Apparently he talks when

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he's asleep. He doesn't even stop talking when he's asleep.

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So I don't know what and this, okay, I don't

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I was talking to the nurses about him talking because

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I was laughing about it, and they can't believe. I

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don't think they've ever met anyone who talks as much

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as him. They thought he was due to his condition,

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and I said, no, he's been like that since I've

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known him for ten years. I'm not saying that he's

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not affected by his condition. You know, I don't want

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to get in the way of any kind of medical

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intervention that might help. But yeah, they laughed, They said really,

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I said, yeah, there always been a chatterbox, But then

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I'm a chatterbox and I do see myself in him.

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That sounds wrong, doesn't it, But I you know, I

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see myself. I tell I think part of the reason. It's

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not a conscious thing, but I think part of the

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reason why I I've helped him over the period the

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time I been here and continue to do so, to

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try and help. Anyway, I'm not sure how helpful I

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am is because I see it's almost like I'm looking

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at him and that's me in twenty five years time,

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or twenty three years time, twenty six years time. Wait

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a minute, fifty four, fifty four, sixty four, seventy four,

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I'll be seventy five, it'll be seventy eight. That's twenty

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three years anyway, something like that. So you know, twenty

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three years, you know in some ways, Oh, it's a

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long time away, is it? Though? It is for someone

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who's ten, it is for someone who's twenty, it is

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for someone who's thirty, maybe someone who's forty. But it

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doesn't seem that far away now. I mean for someone

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who's twenty, if you say, oh, in twenty twenty five years,

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don't look at you like really, I'll be an old

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age pinchner in twenty five years. Or if you say

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that to a twenty year old in twenty five years,

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like yeah, I remember when I was a kid, Okay,

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when I was a kid, when I was a younger man,

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in my twenties, even up to my mid twenties, I

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remember thinking, I'm not genuinely thinking if someone said, oh,

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you got some wrong on your leg, you're going to

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have to have it removed in twenty years time, wouldn't

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even care. It's like twenty years that's a lifetime away.

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I don't care about twenty years away now. If someone

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said that now, it'd be like, that's like telling me

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before Christmas, by the end of this year, you're going

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to have that. That's how close it seems, almost because

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it goes so quickly, so quickly. In twenty five years

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ago or twenty three years ago, even I was working

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in a core center in Churchill Insurance, and I felt

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old then. I felt old then. I think part of

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the reason was because I was working with when nearly

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everybody there was younger than me by a lot. So

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you know, I was thirty one, thirty two. There was

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people there in their early twenties, some even in late teens,

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and quite a few of them treated me like I

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was old, like really old. And there was this female

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I think she was probably about twenty, and she was

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in my team. She's quite new, and she oh god,

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I think I was just finished to shift. So I

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get my phone out of my pocket. I'm just gonna

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look at it, so if I'd any texts or anything,

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and she starts laughing. She says, oh, ah, I didn't

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think you'd have a modern phone because it was a

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small phone. It's like, really, what did you think I'd

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have some kind of big satellite phone or bring out

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put out an egg cup with a bit of string

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attached to it, Like, what did you think I was

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going to use? It's a phone. It's just it is.

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It's some weird you may be using something something, something

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up to date. Yeah, and now as I get older,

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I'm thinking I was selling mobile phone contracts forty twenty

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four years ago. So my neighbor downstairs wasn't even live

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when I was selling mobile phone contracts. My neighbors stays.

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My neighbor downstairs wasn't I even alive when I was

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working at Churchill. I mean she was, Yeah, she wasn't alive.

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She wasn't even alive when I just when I'd finished

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working at Churchill. In fact, my neighbor downstairs was born

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a year before I started making recordings online. So I've

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been doing it nineteen years. She's twenty. It's unbelievable, fully

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formed human being with her whole lifetime experiences at the

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same time as me sitting here. We're not sitting here

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necessarily but making weird audios. And the youth it's beyond measure.

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I find a very confusing, I really do. And to

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make it worse, she's probably thirty times more mature than

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I am as a person.

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Like now.

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Not when when I was your age, I was like

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a what twenty I was? I was a child. Mentally

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I was a child. I can just hear like all

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many children when they entering in their age and no

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mental never grab up. Sure stop. This is about love,

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this is this is a gentle, loving place. Come on,

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come on, can't we just get along? He hey? Anyway,

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my neighbor. He talks in his sleep. I didn't know that.

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I tried to explain that to his neighbor. I said, well,

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we don't sleep together. And I made a mistake. I

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said the wrong thing earlier. I've got a habit of

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doing this, just generally in life. I'm talking to one

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of the nurses and I'm just asking some questions and

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we just chatting. I said, oh, you've got lovely eyes.

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I didn't mean anything by it, and she punched me.

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Now she didn't. I said you got lovely eyes. I said, oh,

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sorry about that, and we carried on talking and apparently

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it was distracting her change in the cafeter but she

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didn't know it was behind the curtain. But it's and

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I thought, oh, bit, I might think. See. I didn't

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care about myself embarrassing myself. It's far. It's it's quite

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hard for me to embarrass myself these days. Although something

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did happen later on that was a bit embarrassing. Involved

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a toilet. I'll tell you that in a minute. Anyway,

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it started to bug me. I'm thinking she's at work,

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and this is someone that I've gotten quite well with

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divid last week. It's really nice, very friendly, we have

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a laughing that, and I thought, that's that's that was

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just it was not on. I can't be. It's you know,

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it's one thing if I was, even even if I was,

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I don't know, just paying someone a compliment. It's probably

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not the thing to do anymore. It used to be

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kind of okay when I was younger, in my in

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my day, you know, in the seventeenth century. But and

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I thought, no, that's just can I apologize? Sins? I

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said it, And so I thought, you know what what

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I'll do is when there's no one else around, I

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just apologize to us. So I did. I said, Look,

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and then what I thought i'd do, okay, is i'd apologize.

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But it's part of me wanted to. I don't know,

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it's just it's just it's the cheeky, cheeky little monkey

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inside of me. So this is what I said to her.

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I said, I just I just want to apologize earlier

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if I was inappropriate when I said that you've got

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a lovely smile. And she said, oh, don't worry about it,

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and she's and she said, honestly, I said, no, it

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was unprofession of me. And she laughed, And so now

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I'm thinking when she left, did she notice I said

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something different? Because before I said she had lovely eyes,

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and I said a lovely smile, and I thought, oh,

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that's wrong. I shouldn't, so I thought a better just

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changed side. As I left, I said, oh, by the way, again,

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before I go, I want to say so sorry for

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saying saying that you got a really perky bum. I

232
00:20:34.160 --> 00:20:37.400
should I didn't say that. I just I didn't. I

233
00:20:37.480 --> 00:20:39.920
actually didn't say goodbye to her because I didn't see

234
00:20:39.920 --> 00:20:44.720
her when I left. But I'm wondering if she if

235
00:20:44.759 --> 00:20:50.359
she noticed that I said something different. Is it just

236
00:20:50.359 --> 00:20:53.680
popped out in my mouth. It's a little bit like,

237
00:21:00.400 --> 00:21:04.160
I don't know. It's a bit like watching my name

238
00:21:04.319 --> 00:21:06.799
try to eat more than one bald sweet at a time.

239
00:21:07.119 --> 00:21:09.960
One always seemed to pop out, one always fell on

240
00:21:09.960 --> 00:21:12.200
the floor. No, I didn't. I don't want was saying

241
00:21:12.200 --> 00:21:17.720
that leave my name alone. Blimey. It's like seeing it

242
00:21:18.200 --> 00:21:21.279
a hamster try and eat a gobstopper. Anyone's see it.

243
00:21:21.359 --> 00:21:26.559
Everyone knows what a gobstopper is. Oh, my body's so sensitive.

244
00:21:27.880 --> 00:21:32.119
I'm just stroking my chest. I got a little it's

245
00:21:32.160 --> 00:21:35.799
a spot. Actually I've aughtay was a nipple. I thought,

246
00:21:35.839 --> 00:21:41.359
oh no, not a fifth nipple. So yeah, I he's

247
00:21:41.559 --> 00:21:50.440
all right. But he had he had this body scan,

248
00:21:50.960 --> 00:21:57.559
like a big old body scan on Friday morning, like

249
00:21:57.799 --> 00:22:00.599
you know, early hours before nine o'clock. I got Friday

250
00:22:00.680 --> 00:22:07.079
morning and he still hasn't had the results, and I

251
00:22:07.319 --> 00:22:10.240
hung around hoping that he would get the results before

252
00:22:10.279 --> 00:22:15.079
I left. But by half a I think it was

253
00:22:15.720 --> 00:22:18.839
by about one o'clock, still no one had come to

254
00:22:18.920 --> 00:22:23.000
see him, and he was eating his dinner. So I

255
00:22:23.119 --> 00:22:27.400
just left him. I went downstairs to get him some

256
00:22:27.559 --> 00:22:29.720
stuff from the shop, and then I just came home.

257
00:22:31.200 --> 00:22:33.079
So I was going to give him a call tomorrow.

258
00:22:34.000 --> 00:22:36.240
I'm not going to go every single day this week

259
00:22:37.200 --> 00:22:40.759
because I don't think I can. I can't financially do it.

260
00:22:40.839 --> 00:22:43.119
But it's not just that I could get a bus.

261
00:22:45.480 --> 00:22:49.000
It's just a journey. I couldn't, you know. I got

262
00:22:49.000 --> 00:22:52.440
a taxi back today. I just couldn't face getting on

263
00:22:52.519 --> 00:22:56.200
a bus and two journeys and standing out in that sun.

264
00:22:56.400 --> 00:23:02.519
And so yeah, I just got the taxi back. And

265
00:23:02.599 --> 00:23:09.880
then I'm in the taxi just talking about technology and

266
00:23:11.119 --> 00:23:15.759
just some whatever, and just as we pull up outside

267
00:23:15.839 --> 00:23:19.039
my house. I notice he's got a camera. There's a

268
00:23:19.079 --> 00:23:21.279
little not only a camera, but there's a little screen.

269
00:23:21.359 --> 00:23:24.640
It's shown me and him together. There's one thing having

270
00:23:24.680 --> 00:23:27.960
a camera. It's fine. I've never seen myself on a

271
00:23:28.000 --> 00:23:32.680
little screen like that. And I said, I don't know.

272
00:23:32.880 --> 00:23:34.920
It was.

273
00:23:39.000 --> 00:23:42.359
A little bit annoying. I think I felt a little

274
00:23:42.400 --> 00:23:48.839
bit trest passed upon because if I knew i'd been filmed,

275
00:23:49.559 --> 00:23:55.559
I think there's one thing being filmed without sound, because

276
00:23:55.599 --> 00:23:57.720
you know, you need to be filmed if what you're doing,

277
00:23:57.920 --> 00:24:00.519
you know, I guess that's okay, but I didn't really

278
00:24:00.559 --> 00:24:06.279
want my conversation recorded. I don't know. It felt a

279
00:24:06.279 --> 00:24:10.680
little bit intrusive, a little bit, a little bit, you know.

280
00:24:12.039 --> 00:24:12.319
And I.

281
00:24:15.799 --> 00:24:17.839
Mean I've been in places, I've been in taxis and

282
00:24:17.960 --> 00:24:21.960
cars where there's a camera. I just I don't take

283
00:24:22.039 --> 00:24:24.200
much notice of it. But I've never been anywhere before

284
00:24:24.200 --> 00:24:27.720
where there's actually a screen it shows you yourself being recorded.

285
00:24:28.319 --> 00:24:32.440
It made it more real. And there's a reason I

286
00:24:32.519 --> 00:24:36.519
don't film myself anymore because I don't like being on camera,

287
00:24:37.200 --> 00:24:40.160
which is a shame because my YouTube channel's going completely

288
00:24:40.279 --> 00:24:44.759
to nothing. Really, even though every recording I do is

289
00:24:45.079 --> 00:24:51.160
uploaded onto YouTube. I'm losing subscribers. I don't know why.

290
00:24:51.240 --> 00:25:03.160
That's funny, but it's yeah, it's weird. I thought it

291
00:25:03.200 --> 00:25:07.680
would be quite handy to have it as a as

292
00:25:07.720 --> 00:25:12.880
a separate like there's another place to listen to the podcast,

293
00:25:13.119 --> 00:25:23.279
but YouTube doesn't seem to agree. Agree agree. Yeah. So

294
00:25:23.440 --> 00:25:30.400
it's Monday, Monday, and that's it. I don't think there's

295
00:25:30.400 --> 00:25:35.359
anything else going on with the hospital visit today. Went there.

296
00:25:37.400 --> 00:25:40.720
I found out my other neighbor because I knew it

297
00:25:40.839 --> 00:25:44.039
used to be in a band. He was quite one

298
00:25:44.079 --> 00:25:48.279
of the and I say originators, but it's one of

299
00:25:48.359 --> 00:25:52.519
the originators of the psychedelic movement in this country. It

300
00:25:52.599 --> 00:25:56.960
started in America, but he he built a group and

301
00:25:57.440 --> 00:25:59.880
he was in a lot of he worked with a

302
00:26:00.039 --> 00:26:05.799
lot of really famous people in the sixties when the

303
00:26:05.799 --> 00:26:10.440
psychedelic movement was around, which would be I don't probably

304
00:26:10.519 --> 00:26:16.079
late sixties, maybe early seventies, late sixties, yeah, late sixties,

305
00:26:16.680 --> 00:26:19.279
because I know the Beatles were influenced by the psychedelic

306
00:26:19.359 --> 00:26:26.279
movement in sixty six, sixty seven, sixty eight, something like that.

307
00:26:28.440 --> 00:26:34.359
And and he's literally it's in London recording an album.

308
00:26:36.000 --> 00:26:39.200
You know, he's still and he's think he's over eighty

309
00:26:39.279 --> 00:26:43.839
I think now, and he's still going. And he knows

310
00:26:44.039 --> 00:26:47.839
loads of people. But to him it's not they're not

311
00:26:47.960 --> 00:26:53.079
famous people. They're just people that he's known for sixty years.

312
00:26:55.240 --> 00:26:59.920
And it's weird. He said, something just off. This is

313
00:27:00.200 --> 00:27:02.680
by the way, this is somebody that does not brag.

314
00:27:04.480 --> 00:27:06.839
That's the thing about it. He's not a bragger. I'm

315
00:27:06.880 --> 00:27:09.480
a bragger. I just don't have anything to brag about.

316
00:27:10.000 --> 00:27:12.559
That's why you don't really hear me bragging because there's

317
00:27:12.640 --> 00:27:16.000
nothing to brag about. He's got loads to brag about,

318
00:27:16.000 --> 00:27:19.720
and he doesn't. But he will ask. He will answer questions,

319
00:27:21.640 --> 00:27:26.400
and not all questions, but he will, you know, if

320
00:27:26.440 --> 00:27:31.920
I ask him stuff. And he said, the only Beatole

321
00:27:32.039 --> 00:27:37.359
member that he didn't meet was Paul McCartney. He met

322
00:27:37.400 --> 00:27:40.039
the other three and I said to you, okay, well

323
00:27:40.799 --> 00:27:43.119
you know the next question I'm going to ask. And

324
00:27:43.240 --> 00:27:44.799
he said, what's that? How did I get my name?

325
00:27:44.880 --> 00:27:49.200
I said, no, because he's got I won't say because

326
00:27:49.200 --> 00:27:50.880
you're about to look it up. Because he's on a

327
00:27:50.920 --> 00:27:56.279
Wikipedia page. He's not. He was well known, but he's

328
00:27:56.359 --> 00:27:58.680
not kind of like famous, famous in a sense of

329
00:28:00.680 --> 00:28:06.279
possibly anyone under the age of seventies will have heard

330
00:28:06.279 --> 00:28:10.359
of possibly, Like I mean as in the period of

331
00:28:10.440 --> 00:28:14.319
time that he was well known with the seventies, late

332
00:28:14.400 --> 00:28:19.839
sixties and seventies, and but he worked on albums with

333
00:28:20.039 --> 00:28:24.160
a lot of famous artists over a long period of time.

334
00:28:26.279 --> 00:28:28.680
So I'm bragging about him. But he doesn't brag, um

335
00:28:28.759 --> 00:28:32.559
won if he brags about me. So I'm bragging about

336
00:28:32.599 --> 00:28:36.839
him telling people or one of my neighbors used to

337
00:28:36.920 --> 00:28:40.799
be in famous bands and stuff in the sixties and seventies,

338
00:28:41.720 --> 00:28:44.440
and I know him. Do you think he's saying the

339
00:28:44.480 --> 00:28:46.559
same kind of thing about me? Yea, I got a

340
00:28:46.640 --> 00:29:00.519
neighbor's he's got a dog. What else is it to say? Yeah,

341
00:29:00.519 --> 00:29:04.039
you've got a dog? What else? You know? He's quite

342
00:29:04.039 --> 00:29:05.960
a nice bloke. You want to be trapped at a

343
00:29:06.039 --> 00:29:08.599
lift with him because he was just talking a lot

344
00:29:08.599 --> 00:29:19.079
of rubbish. But other than that, h yeah, he was

345
00:29:19.119 --> 00:29:24.960
saying something about he was It was at this gig

346
00:29:25.240 --> 00:29:28.519
what was it? The Birds? The Birds were playing this

347
00:29:28.599 --> 00:29:31.880
one of the birds were like huge. The band called

348
00:29:31.880 --> 00:29:35.440
the Birds b y r Ds, I do believe, And

349
00:29:35.559 --> 00:29:40.920
they were at a small club in London, and all

350
00:29:41.039 --> 00:29:44.079
the names went to this club on this occasion because

351
00:29:44.079 --> 00:29:47.920
they wanted to see them in concert. So my neighbor

352
00:29:47.960 --> 00:29:56.079
went along and it was jam packed. He was telling

353
00:29:56.119 --> 00:29:57.920
me this this morning, because I was asking him about

354
00:29:58.559 --> 00:30:01.359
acause I said to him, no, what was John Linnan like?

355
00:30:01.960 --> 00:30:05.839
And he said, exactly the same as you'd think, because

356
00:30:05.839 --> 00:30:08.559
at that time, that's when he was in the Beatles.

357
00:30:09.599 --> 00:30:18.240
And he said, sarcastic, funny, full of energy, and he

358
00:30:18.400 --> 00:30:25.599
just was kind of what you saw on TV. You know, Yeah,

359
00:30:25.599 --> 00:30:29.400
obviously he could be serious as well, but great sense

360
00:30:29.440 --> 00:30:33.759
of humor and yeah, and he said basically, my neighbor said,

361
00:30:33.759 --> 00:30:37.000
he got into this club it is so jam packed.

362
00:30:37.720 --> 00:30:40.160
I don't know if it was Johnny Scott's or whatever.

363
00:30:40.240 --> 00:30:47.720
It is one of those big places, and he ended

364
00:30:47.799 --> 00:30:52.039
up I think it was one of the I think

365
00:30:52.160 --> 00:30:57.880
Pink Floyd's manager was there and knew him and called

366
00:30:57.920 --> 00:31:00.720
him over and invited him to go and sit on

367
00:31:00.799 --> 00:31:04.200
the table with John Lennon, and he ended up sitting

368
00:31:04.240 --> 00:31:12.960
between John between Pink Floyd's manager and John Lennon's wife

369
00:31:13.319 --> 00:31:16.160
at that time, and John Lennon's wife was sitting next

370
00:31:16.200 --> 00:31:18.839
to John Lennon so he's literally just and he'd never

371
00:31:18.880 --> 00:31:23.519
met John Lennon. And to be fair, there was no

372
00:31:23.599 --> 00:31:27.039
one more famous in the world of entertainment at that

373
00:31:27.200 --> 00:31:34.880
time than the Beatles, so even you know, he was

374
00:31:34.960 --> 00:31:38.640
in I imagine he was in awe of beating him.

375
00:31:40.279 --> 00:31:43.200
He got chatting to him and stuff. But in that situation,

376
00:31:43.279 --> 00:31:47.319
you'd probably just be like an ordinary person really, because

377
00:31:47.359 --> 00:31:51.160
you can't treat someone like they're a superstar. I've always

378
00:31:51.240 --> 00:31:52.799
They're probably not going to want to talk to you.

379
00:31:53.440 --> 00:31:57.720
I'm guessing, in fact, I find that way. I find

380
00:31:57.759 --> 00:31:59.920
that in the past when I when I when I

381
00:32:00.039 --> 00:32:04.000
act like a superstar, people don't like to talk to me.

382
00:32:04.720 --> 00:32:09.480
Who actually just generally people don't like to talk to me.

383
00:32:14.119 --> 00:32:16.240
Apart from the people that do. They're the ones that

384
00:32:16.440 --> 00:32:19.000
worry me though, you know, the people that want to

385
00:32:19.039 --> 00:32:22.160
sit down and actually, oh, tell me more. Jason, I'm like,

386
00:32:22.880 --> 00:32:25.079
I'm not sure if I do want to a little

387
00:32:25.079 --> 00:32:34.079
bit worried Ooh yeah, he's of my neighbors. That's a

388
00:32:34.079 --> 00:32:37.400
different neighbor. So the neighboring hospital is just waiting for

389
00:32:37.480 --> 00:32:45.440
his tests. And it was weird because today he started

390
00:32:45.599 --> 00:32:51.160
asking me questions about myself. Now I was expecting him

391
00:32:51.400 --> 00:32:55.119
to use this as an excuse to start to talk

392
00:32:55.160 --> 00:33:01.279
about sports, which is what he sometimes does. He asks

393
00:33:01.519 --> 00:33:06.079
questions and then it can lead him on to talking

394
00:33:06.079 --> 00:33:08.880
about something he wants to talk about, or maybe there

395
00:33:08.960 --> 00:33:10.759
was a subject that he wanted to talk about, and

396
00:33:10.799 --> 00:33:15.079
he was trying to get me there by drawing me in,

397
00:33:16.079 --> 00:33:19.519
you know, by pretending to be interested in what I

398
00:33:20.000 --> 00:33:26.039
used to do. But he seemed genuinely interested. And he

399
00:33:26.160 --> 00:33:30.839
was asking me about the comedy, about doing stand up

400
00:33:30.880 --> 00:33:33.720
comedy in London, because I think I must have mentioned

401
00:33:33.759 --> 00:33:38.480
to him at some point, and he was asking me

402
00:33:38.519 --> 00:33:43.240
about people that I'd met. I think, yeah, because I

403
00:33:43.279 --> 00:33:44.759
think I was telling about the neighbor what I just

404
00:33:44.799 --> 00:33:47.119
told you. I was telling him about that, and he

405
00:33:47.200 --> 00:33:51.880
started asking me about me, about me and saying, now,

406
00:33:51.880 --> 00:33:55.640
who did you meet? I said, in London, you haven't

407
00:33:55.640 --> 00:33:59.480
met any famous people? And I said, he said specifically

408
00:33:59.599 --> 00:34:02.960
famous comedians when I was on the comedy circuit. And

409
00:34:03.400 --> 00:34:07.400
I used to be involved in comedy for about ten

410
00:34:07.559 --> 00:34:12.039
years or twenty years really, but ten years solidly. And

411
00:34:14.760 --> 00:34:18.280
he said that he kept he had follow up questions,

412
00:34:19.679 --> 00:34:22.440
where did I go? How much was the gigs that people,

413
00:34:22.760 --> 00:34:25.920
how much the people pay to get in. I feel

414
00:34:25.960 --> 00:34:27.719
a little bit like he was trying to catch me out,

415
00:34:27.800 --> 00:34:30.679
like I was just lying and he was trying to

416
00:34:31.400 --> 00:34:35.280
find out if I was just telling porky pies. But

417
00:34:35.400 --> 00:34:38.760
the thing is why I'd have to be a bit

418
00:34:38.800 --> 00:34:41.599
silly to lie about my failures, wouldn't I because I

419
00:34:42.000 --> 00:34:44.679
wasn't successful. I never made out I was successful. Ever.

420
00:34:45.280 --> 00:34:48.199
I had some good gigs. I had a few really

421
00:34:48.360 --> 00:34:49.840
really brilliant gigs.

422
00:34:51.159 --> 00:34:51.239
But.

423
00:34:52.719 --> 00:34:56.960
Not many, and a few average gigs but not many.

424
00:34:59.440 --> 00:35:03.599
I would say, probably if you're going to go buy

425
00:35:03.599 --> 00:35:08.519
an audience response or the comedy promoter's response or the

426
00:35:08.599 --> 00:35:18.199
comedy club promoter percentage wise, I would say, if you

427
00:35:18.360 --> 00:35:26.480
broke it up into good, I'll leave good and really

428
00:35:26.519 --> 00:35:27.679
good in the same category.

429
00:35:27.760 --> 00:35:28.360
So good.

430
00:35:32.880 --> 00:35:41.960
Okay, not really good, not okay bad, I'm good, so

431
00:35:42.199 --> 00:35:47.639
okay would be a few laughs okay would be where

432
00:35:48.119 --> 00:35:51.599
they didn't the promoter didn't get kicked out of the

433
00:35:51.719 --> 00:35:54.159
club and told they're never going to be able to

434
00:35:54.639 --> 00:35:57.280
allowed to have another night there of comedy because of

435
00:35:57.360 --> 00:35:59.760
what I'd said, So that would be an okay gig,

436
00:36:00.360 --> 00:36:06.920
but not necessarily a good gig for me. A bad

437
00:36:07.000 --> 00:36:09.599
gig that I had lots of those, especially in the

438
00:36:09.679 --> 00:36:13.639
first couple of years. The first year, I don't think

439
00:36:13.679 --> 00:36:16.679
I was even aware that they were bad. I was,

440
00:36:17.199 --> 00:36:23.320
I wasn't the most I don't know, I don't know.

441
00:36:25.400 --> 00:36:29.320
What's this got to do with hospitals. Well, this conversation

442
00:36:29.559 --> 00:36:31.840
occurred in the hospital, so it is still part of

443
00:36:31.920 --> 00:36:45.280
the boring objects Monday's boring objects A and percentage wise,

444
00:36:46.039 --> 00:36:52.159
I would say probably I worked out. I think a

445
00:36:52.239 --> 00:36:55.159
bit about I did about I worked out once. I

446
00:36:55.239 --> 00:36:58.840
did about two hundred and fifty gigs twenty fifty twenty

447
00:36:58.920 --> 00:37:04.159
fifty performances over the period, and things did start to

448
00:37:04.280 --> 00:37:12.079
slow down once I got to nineteen ninety five, and

449
00:37:12.159 --> 00:37:14.719
I went through periods when I didn't do any comedy

450
00:37:14.880 --> 00:37:19.840
at all for months and months. So nineteen ninety four,

451
00:37:20.360 --> 00:37:24.679
A lot of this was to do with accommodation jobs

452
00:37:25.760 --> 00:37:33.119
situations where you know, I was I just couldn't either

453
00:37:33.159 --> 00:37:36.719
I was not interested or I didn't have the money

454
00:37:36.800 --> 00:37:39.800
to get to gigs anyway, So I didn't bother because

455
00:37:39.800 --> 00:37:41.519
there were some gigs I could just turn up at,

456
00:37:41.800 --> 00:37:48.239
like a talent contest that was every Thursday or every Wednesday,

457
00:37:48.679 --> 00:37:50.920
or every other Thursday. You know, I think it was

458
00:37:51.000 --> 00:37:53.519
a downstairs at the King's Head was once a month

459
00:37:54.159 --> 00:37:57.320
on a Thursday, I do believe. And at the Comedy

460
00:37:57.400 --> 00:38:03.000
Cafe every Wednesday there was a new Act Night, which

461
00:38:03.079 --> 00:38:09.199
I performed there a lot, many, many, many times, pretty

462
00:38:09.360 --> 00:38:16.519
much every Wednesday for most of nineteen ninety one. Yeah,

463
00:38:17.079 --> 00:38:23.000
it's true. Wow, and quite a few ninety two, quite

464
00:38:23.000 --> 00:38:27.519
a few ninety three, ninety four, ninety five, sub ninety six,

465
00:38:28.760 --> 00:38:31.760
ninety seven and ninety eight. So yeah, I performed there

466
00:38:32.960 --> 00:38:38.599
over an eight year period, but less and less as

467
00:38:38.679 --> 00:38:45.199
the years went by. In nineteen ninety six, I was

468
00:38:45.239 --> 00:38:54.440
a security guard and I couldn't do any gigs at

469
00:38:54.440 --> 00:38:57.199
all because I was doing weird shifts.

470
00:38:59.079 --> 00:39:04.159
And you know what.

471
00:39:06.719 --> 00:39:12.559
This is strange. I don't think I performed on stage.

472
00:39:18.199 --> 00:39:21.519
I might be wrong, but I'm not sure if I

473
00:39:21.639 --> 00:39:25.920
performed on stage the whole of nineteen ninety six. So

474
00:39:25.960 --> 00:39:28.280
I thinking at the beginning of the year I was

475
00:39:28.320 --> 00:39:35.159
homeless and then managed to find somewhere to live, I

476
00:39:35.280 --> 00:39:37.239
might go and done a few gigs at the beginning

477
00:39:37.280 --> 00:39:40.119
of the year, possibly, and then I got the security

478
00:39:40.239 --> 00:39:48.800
job in around March nineteen ninety six, and I had

479
00:39:48.880 --> 00:39:52.960
that security job all the way toward the summer nineteen

480
00:39:53.079 --> 00:40:01.639
ninety seven, still about probably June, maybe July time, maybe

481
00:40:01.960 --> 00:40:06.599
May June nineteen ninety seven, so I had that. I

482
00:40:06.679 --> 00:40:09.480
worked for that security company the whole time, and I

483
00:40:09.599 --> 00:40:16.800
was doing night shifts weekends. It was almost impossible for

484
00:40:16.960 --> 00:40:23.639
me to plan to do gigs to even because most

485
00:40:23.679 --> 00:40:26.119
of the gigs I did were free, you know, nearly

486
00:40:26.840 --> 00:40:29.559
all my gigs were just ones that I'd do for nothing.

487
00:40:29.920 --> 00:40:32.760
I'd do an open spot or turn up at the

488
00:40:32.800 --> 00:40:37.239
comedy cafe on a Wednesday night. So I'm sure I

489
00:40:37.320 --> 00:40:40.559
probably did a couple during that period, but I didn't

490
00:40:40.599 --> 00:40:44.079
do much in ninety six. That was really the tail

491
00:40:44.239 --> 00:40:50.400
end of my comedy non career, as it were. But

492
00:40:50.519 --> 00:40:55.360
that was also at the time when I was I

493
00:40:55.480 --> 00:41:03.119
was getting better. I was able to be more topical,

494
00:41:04.719 --> 00:41:07.119
and I found that I was I'm not saying that

495
00:41:07.159 --> 00:41:13.079
I was good, but I was a better than before,

496
00:41:14.400 --> 00:41:18.400
and by talking about topical things, it was I don't know,

497
00:41:18.639 --> 00:41:21.639
it just sometimes you don't even have to be particularly funny.

498
00:41:21.679 --> 00:41:27.719
I found by just saying something a bit silly about

499
00:41:28.159 --> 00:41:31.400
something that's really big in the news, it's just like

500
00:41:31.480 --> 00:41:33.800
a silly line. Sometimes get a little might just get

501
00:41:33.800 --> 00:41:37.280
a little smirk or something. But I still better than

502
00:41:37.320 --> 00:41:41.679
what I was used to getting. Well, I did say

503
00:41:41.679 --> 00:41:43.480
to be making anyone angry, that was That was the

504
00:41:43.559 --> 00:41:55.400
good thing. And nineteen so ninety seven, from the summer

505
00:41:55.519 --> 00:41:59.360
ninety seven to the end of end of ninety seven,

506
00:41:59.639 --> 00:42:03.800
I did do a few gigs. Yeah, I did, I went,

507
00:42:03.960 --> 00:42:06.039
I did, and went to a few gigs as well.

508
00:42:06.400 --> 00:42:10.559
So I performed a bit more at the latter part

509
00:42:10.639 --> 00:42:15.199
of ninety seven because I was back involved in comedy again.

510
00:42:15.920 --> 00:42:23.639
So I did Yeah, on a probably never at the

511
00:42:23.679 --> 00:42:26.840
weekend because I was busy at the weekends. But on

512
00:42:26.960 --> 00:42:32.599
a on a Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday night, I'd probably end

513
00:42:32.719 --> 00:42:36.480
up going to gigs, whether to just watch my friends

514
00:42:36.599 --> 00:42:40.760
who are other comedians performing, or to perform myself. Ones

515
00:42:40.760 --> 00:42:42.280
that I could just turn up at and they'd let

516
00:42:42.320 --> 00:42:47.639
me on. So that was pretty cool. And then in

517
00:42:47.840 --> 00:42:55.719
ninety eight January, I just did my very last gig. Ever,

518
00:42:57.719 --> 00:42:59.639
I didn't realize just my last gig, but it was

519
00:42:59.679 --> 00:43:06.320
still last performance. And yeah, I've just heard him go.

520
00:43:08.000 --> 00:43:11.440
He started barking then because someone sneezing in the garden

521
00:43:12.159 --> 00:43:15.880
or well it was outside this building. It might have

522
00:43:15.880 --> 00:43:19.440
been in the building, but outside where I live. It

523
00:43:19.559 --> 00:43:27.679
was just a little sneeze and thinking, so yeah, I

524
00:43:30.119 --> 00:43:33.199
why oh yeah, because because my neighbor in hospital. He

525
00:43:33.280 --> 00:43:37.559
was just asking me all these questions, and I was thinking,

526
00:43:37.639 --> 00:43:41.039
what's the catch, How's he going to lead on to

527
00:43:41.920 --> 00:43:51.199
talking about football or sport? And yeah, he seemed almost

528
00:43:54.000 --> 00:44:02.239
almost interested in what I was saying. Weird, So because

529
00:44:02.239 --> 00:44:10.199
he's absolutely he's phonetic. It's a phonetic about sport. I

530
00:44:10.280 --> 00:44:15.480
mean on a level that I've never seen before. Loves sport.

531
00:44:16.159 --> 00:44:16.280
Ah.

532
00:44:16.360 --> 00:44:19.880
What I did do is because he's saying he didn't

533
00:44:19.880 --> 00:44:23.360
want the TV on, and they've got these TVs not

534
00:44:23.599 --> 00:44:26.920
like the some of the NHS TVs are not great

535
00:44:27.079 --> 00:44:30.400
quality screens, and there the ones that are the side

536
00:44:30.440 --> 00:44:32.320
of the bed and you have to pay five pounds

537
00:44:32.320 --> 00:44:35.360
a day to have it. These TVs are free to

538
00:44:35.559 --> 00:44:40.880
use and they're decent TVs. And his one was unplucked.

539
00:44:41.239 --> 00:44:43.840
So and the person next to hims had his TV

540
00:44:43.960 --> 00:44:48.079
on the whole time. Now, I didn't realize how good

541
00:44:48.119 --> 00:44:52.440
the screen was the picture because I've never looked at

542
00:44:52.519 --> 00:44:56.760
the other blokes TV. And I said to my neighbor

543
00:44:57.840 --> 00:45:02.039
in hospital. I said, I'm saying not that he's in hospital,

544
00:45:02.119 --> 00:45:05.199
because I've talked about a few different neighbors. I want

545
00:45:05.199 --> 00:45:08.960
you to know who are talking about, who I'm gossiping about.

546
00:45:11.079 --> 00:45:14.559
I said to him, you know, Wimbledon's starting today, and

547
00:45:14.679 --> 00:45:20.639
he starts talking about Wimbuden and I said, well, why

548
00:45:20.679 --> 00:45:24.000
don't you watch it? Oh no, I'm happy with my tablet.

549
00:45:24.519 --> 00:45:26.920
I said, you've got a good You've got a television

550
00:45:27.039 --> 00:45:32.280
up there, a big screen. Well compared to his little tablet,

551
00:45:32.320 --> 00:45:35.519
it's a big screen. It's not they're not they're not

552
00:45:35.599 --> 00:45:40.280
big TVs, but probably twenty four inches or thirty inches

553
00:45:40.400 --> 00:45:40.719
or something.

554
00:45:40.760 --> 00:45:41.000
They're not.

555
00:45:41.880 --> 00:45:46.599
They're not little, but they're not big A nice size.

556
00:45:46.599 --> 00:45:52.480
If you're in a really small room and it's up,

557
00:45:52.679 --> 00:45:57.239
it's kind of I think it's I wonder if they

558
00:45:57.280 --> 00:45:59.440
could be moved down. I'm going to ask that. I

559
00:45:59.480 --> 00:46:02.760
don't maybe there can be. I would need it moved

560
00:46:02.840 --> 00:46:05.639
down for me because with my eyesight and it, I

561
00:46:05.639 --> 00:46:13.559
would need it closer. And it was unplugged. So between

562
00:46:13.639 --> 00:46:16.000
me and his neighbor next to him, I got the

563
00:46:16.039 --> 00:46:19.079
TV plugged in because he said, oh, it's not working.

564
00:46:19.159 --> 00:46:22.559
I said, oh, and then we had to find remote control.

565
00:46:23.360 --> 00:46:25.679
A nurse went and got remote control that he could use,

566
00:46:26.079 --> 00:46:28.559
which was exactly the same as a remote control. I

567
00:46:28.679 --> 00:46:31.400
got here in my hand and he might be thinking,

568
00:46:31.599 --> 00:46:33.679
why are you Why have you got a TV remote

569
00:46:33.719 --> 00:46:36.679
control in your hand? Because I just picked it up.

570
00:46:37.000 --> 00:46:40.440
That's why it's just there to the left. I've not

571
00:46:40.559 --> 00:46:43.119
had a remote control in my hand the whole time

572
00:46:43.159 --> 00:46:50.079
I've been talking. That would be strange. It might not

573
00:46:50.239 --> 00:46:56.880
be strange. I've had a can of whipped cream though. Yeah,

574
00:46:58.400 --> 00:47:02.599
so he said to me. I said to him, and

575
00:47:02.599 --> 00:47:04.119
then he said to me. Then I said to him,

576
00:47:04.920 --> 00:47:07.000
So I plucked it in, turned it on. We got

577
00:47:07.039 --> 00:47:14.079
the TV onto it was. It was a political program

578
00:47:14.360 --> 00:47:19.480
on BBC two and then the live coverage of Wimbledon

579
00:47:19.679 --> 00:47:26.719
starting at I think eleven thirty in the morning. And

580
00:47:26.840 --> 00:47:30.639
once it started, he started to be distracted by it,

581
00:47:32.920 --> 00:47:38.000
and I thought, yeah, this is good because once football

582
00:47:38.159 --> 00:47:42.599
is on, or rugby or cricket, he's now got a distraction.

583
00:47:46.119 --> 00:47:48.159
And it was kind of funny because we were talking

584
00:47:49.039 --> 00:47:55.760
and it was it was a women's tennis match and

585
00:47:55.880 --> 00:48:03.920
it was just grunting. It was like ah, and it

586
00:48:04.119 --> 00:48:05.840
was I don't know. I just found it quite funny

587
00:48:05.880 --> 00:48:10.079
because it seemed a little bit inappropriate for well, for

588
00:48:10.199 --> 00:48:14.000
where we were, just to hear, because I kept thinking,

589
00:48:14.199 --> 00:48:16.480
I forgot the TV was on, because I've been going

590
00:48:16.519 --> 00:48:19.440
in there for however long and the TV has never

591
00:48:19.519 --> 00:48:23.480
been on, so any sounds like that I'm used to hearing.

592
00:48:23.639 --> 00:48:29.199
Maybe he is from a different ward, because there's there's

593
00:48:29.280 --> 00:48:38.639
six different wards on that ward. That makes sense, So yeah,

594
00:48:38.800 --> 00:48:43.159
it's a ward, but there's six different rooms with four

595
00:48:43.239 --> 00:48:46.599
beds in each, and then there's a couple of other

596
00:48:46.719 --> 00:48:51.840
kind of single rooms which I'm thinking might be private. Perhaps,

597
00:48:52.000 --> 00:49:00.360
I don't know, I'm not sure. So he it was weird.

598
00:49:01.119 --> 00:49:02.840
I don't know what other people must have thought, if

599
00:49:02.840 --> 00:49:05.239
they'd have heard all that grunting coming out of the

600
00:49:05.360 --> 00:49:10.239
TV or out of our ward. I think they're also

601
00:49:10.440 --> 00:49:15.599
single sex wards, so the men. There's women in that

602
00:49:17.000 --> 00:49:21.039
big ward that he's in, but not in his particular ward.

603
00:49:22.159 --> 00:49:25.239
Does this make sense? It seems to be too many wards.

604
00:49:25.280 --> 00:49:29.559
I'm using the word ward too often. Four wards, six

605
00:49:29.639 --> 00:49:37.719
wards in one ward. But yeah, it's I've not been

606
00:49:37.760 --> 00:49:40.480
in the other wards, but I have, actually I went

607
00:49:40.559 --> 00:49:45.119
in one by accident. And that was all females, and

608
00:49:45.280 --> 00:49:52.239
I thought it looks like my neighbor, but it wasn't.

609
00:49:53.280 --> 00:49:54.960
Do you ever get that where you see someone and

610
00:49:55.039 --> 00:50:00.119
you just think, oh, and it's not the person. You

611
00:50:00.360 --> 00:50:04.400
try to adapt, so adapt, you know, scrunch your face

612
00:50:04.480 --> 00:50:07.159
up a little bit and close your eyes half half

613
00:50:07.320 --> 00:50:09.760
so it makes them look a bit more like the

614
00:50:09.840 --> 00:50:15.880
person that you think they should look like. No, okay,

615
00:50:20.679 --> 00:50:28.280
And then I left. So I spent probably four and

616
00:50:28.360 --> 00:50:32.320
a half five hours with him. I never left it

617
00:50:33.360 --> 00:50:41.280
half one or maybe it was one, not sure. I

618
00:50:41.400 --> 00:50:43.480
think it was. He didn't eat his fish and chips.

619
00:50:44.320 --> 00:50:48.000
They're still on the side. No one's noticed. They're still

620
00:50:48.079 --> 00:50:51.000
on the side of his bed back on his bedside

621
00:50:51.119 --> 00:50:55.159
cabinet thing. And it's going to start stinking at some point,

622
00:50:55.239 --> 00:51:01.360
isn't there fish? It's been there since Friday? No one.

623
00:51:02.320 --> 00:51:04.519
You're going to start noting. There's be going to be cats.

624
00:51:05.199 --> 00:51:06.840
And why is there so many cats in the ward

625
00:51:06.880 --> 00:51:09.960
where they're coming from? Why they're coming in there? They'll

626
00:51:09.960 --> 00:51:12.199
all be climbing up to the windows. Went now on

627
00:51:12.280 --> 00:51:15.880
a big ladder, a cat ladder? Is there such a

628
00:51:15.960 --> 00:51:19.079
thing as a cat ladder? I suppose they could all

629
00:51:19.159 --> 00:51:22.159
just climb on each other's backs and make a big heap.

630
00:51:24.000 --> 00:51:27.480
I don't know if that's possible. Oh you know what

631
00:51:27.519 --> 00:51:31.360
I forgot to do today. I was going to ask

632
00:51:31.719 --> 00:51:34.639
somebody if I'm able to take Vinnie with me to

633
00:51:34.800 --> 00:51:37.039
see my neighbor, because he keeps asking about him and

634
00:51:37.519 --> 00:51:42.400
he wants to see him. And another person who walks

635
00:51:42.480 --> 00:51:47.920
their dog told me that sometimes the hospital does allow

636
00:51:49.159 --> 00:51:54.880
depending on the patient's situation. They do allow hospital visits

637
00:51:55.119 --> 00:51:59.840
with a dog, but in a specific part of the hospital.

638
00:52:00.800 --> 00:52:03.039
So he'd have to go to that part of the

639
00:52:03.079 --> 00:52:05.639
hospital and I'd have to take Vinnie there and he

640
00:52:05.719 --> 00:52:09.239
could sort of spend time with him. The alternative is

641
00:52:09.280 --> 00:52:12.159
if he comes outside. I know, I can take Vinnie

642
00:52:12.320 --> 00:52:16.920
outside the grounds of hospital and he could come downstairs.

643
00:52:17.000 --> 00:52:23.719
But he can't. Really, I don't know how to explain this,

644
00:52:23.920 --> 00:52:31.719
but he doesn't seem to The mobility he had a

645
00:52:31.800 --> 00:52:33.880
week ago doesn't seem to be there for some reason.

646
00:52:35.239 --> 00:52:39.280
You know, before, I think it's been going downhill a

647
00:52:39.320 --> 00:52:42.079
little bit. Just I think it's his age maybe. But

648
00:52:44.320 --> 00:52:46.960
the week before he went in hospital, he was walking

649
00:52:47.000 --> 00:52:53.840
around every day, going to the Petro station, taking strides.

650
00:52:53.920 --> 00:52:57.199
You know he wasn't like now, he's walking one foot

651
00:52:57.280 --> 00:53:00.519
next to another, next to the other when I take

652
00:53:00.599 --> 00:53:02.920
him outside. I couldn't take him outside today because I

653
00:53:03.000 --> 00:53:05.199
was waiting for the doctor, and the other day we

654
00:53:05.280 --> 00:53:07.159
went out and the doctor came while we were out,

655
00:53:07.480 --> 00:53:17.320
so it was not ideal. But he's really walking very

656
00:53:17.480 --> 00:53:23.840
very slowly and at times holding on to me. So

657
00:53:24.000 --> 00:53:27.079
I don't know. It might be a confidence thing. It

658
00:53:27.400 --> 00:53:30.719
might just he might have a similar thing to me,

659
00:53:30.920 --> 00:53:37.719
where it's there's too many people. He's not used to that.

660
00:53:38.480 --> 00:53:42.320
He's not used to be walking down a hallway with

661
00:53:43.639 --> 00:53:48.119
let's face it, thousands of people coming and going, you know,

662
00:53:48.760 --> 00:53:52.639
and everyone's walking at different angles, different directions, people walking

663
00:53:52.719 --> 00:53:58.920
directly at you, and trolley's and you know, all sort

664
00:53:58.960 --> 00:54:06.840
of people on gurney and deliveries and all kinds of stuff.

665
00:54:08.440 --> 00:54:13.639
No parachutes and no elephants. But you know, I'm not

666
00:54:13.679 --> 00:54:15.599
saying everything's in the hallway, but it's quite a lot

667
00:54:15.599 --> 00:54:20.159
of stuff. So I don't know how much of it

668
00:54:20.320 --> 00:54:24.000
is that. But he doesn't go downstairs on his own.

669
00:54:24.760 --> 00:54:27.000
He doesn't go he doesn't go to the shop on

670
00:54:27.079 --> 00:54:31.639
his own, which a week ago he would have done

671
00:54:32.320 --> 00:54:35.400
before he went in there. He would have just you know,

672
00:54:36.000 --> 00:54:38.679
if he was visiting someone. Let's say, if he was

673
00:54:38.760 --> 00:54:41.400
visiting me and I said, oh, I need a bottle

674
00:54:41.400 --> 00:54:44.840
of coke, or can you get me some cheese, which

675
00:54:44.920 --> 00:54:49.000
is what he wanted today. Can you get me something

676
00:54:49.039 --> 00:54:52.239
from the shop? He just said, yeah, okay, you need

677
00:54:52.320 --> 00:54:58.840
have gone down and got it for me. So, yeah,

678
00:54:58.920 --> 00:55:04.920
there's a that's a difference that I've noticed. And he's

679
00:55:04.960 --> 00:55:09.519
not talking as loudly as he used to. He's still

680
00:55:09.639 --> 00:55:13.719
talking unstop, but it's how much quieter talk Because I

681
00:55:13.760 --> 00:55:16.079
can't hear him sometimes I kind of have to get

682
00:55:16.760 --> 00:55:19.599
closer to him and then he just goes boom in

683
00:55:19.719 --> 00:55:28.000
my ear makes me jump. So I was going to

684
00:55:28.079 --> 00:55:31.639
do some washing today, some laundry. What do I say

685
00:55:31.719 --> 00:55:35.800
to him? I said something, I've got to do some

686
00:55:35.920 --> 00:55:42.519
laundry today. He said, he thought I said something else.

687
00:55:45.119 --> 00:55:46.559
What sounds like laundry?

688
00:55:53.880 --> 00:55:53.960
Now?

689
00:55:54.079 --> 00:55:59.280
He thought, I said, law degree, So I need to start.

690
00:56:00.079 --> 00:56:07.000
You need to do some law do some laundry. And

691
00:56:07.119 --> 00:56:11.559
he said, oh, when are you starting that? I said

692
00:56:11.599 --> 00:56:18.440
what I said this afternoon? He said, oh, I said yeah.

693
00:56:20.239 --> 00:56:21.719
He so like, well, I didn't know why it was

694
00:56:21.760 --> 00:56:26.519
so interested in me doing my laundry because I'll be honest,

695
00:56:26.519 --> 00:56:28.519
and i'll break this to you. I don't want to

696
00:56:28.559 --> 00:56:34.280
come across as being ungrateful or negative, but I don't

697
00:56:34.280 --> 00:56:36.920
get a huge kick from doing the laundry. It doesn't

698
00:56:37.000 --> 00:56:39.760
give me the it doesn't give me everything I hoped

699
00:56:40.360 --> 00:56:41.280
I hoped out all life.

700
00:56:42.920 --> 00:56:43.079
You know.

701
00:56:43.360 --> 00:56:46.440
It's but at the same time, it's a hell of

702
00:56:46.480 --> 00:56:49.280
lot easier and going to the laundret, which is what

703
00:56:49.360 --> 00:56:53.719
I did for most of my adult life, well since

704
00:56:53.760 --> 00:56:58.280
the age of sixteen. So I do appreciate not going

705
00:56:58.360 --> 00:57:00.800
to the laundret. And if I didn't have washing machine,

706
00:57:01.199 --> 00:57:04.760
I would do my washing by hand. I'm never going

707
00:57:04.840 --> 00:57:12.119
to a laundrette again, especially as the Yeah, the local laundrette,

708
00:57:12.119 --> 00:57:15.360
what there isn't one. So the closest laundrette is about

709
00:57:15.519 --> 00:57:19.000
six miles away, six and a half miles away. So yeah,

710
00:57:19.119 --> 00:57:23.519
I'm not getting there. Yeah, but I used to because

711
00:57:23.519 --> 00:57:26.079
I used to live across the road from there. Even then,

712
00:57:26.119 --> 00:57:30.719
it was it was a struggle still used to do.

713
00:57:30.880 --> 00:57:32.960
I used to wash my stuff by hands sometimes. Then

714
00:57:33.760 --> 00:57:38.039
I just couldn't face going over there. I guess I

715
00:57:38.119 --> 00:57:42.239
didn't have the same relationship with her the launderette ladies

716
00:57:42.280 --> 00:57:45.440
I did with the laundrette lady in Stratford in London,

717
00:57:46.960 --> 00:57:51.280
although I did end up being friends of her. There's

718
00:57:51.360 --> 00:57:57.840
two ways it can go. I found with someone that

719
00:57:58.119 --> 00:58:05.400
washes your underpants, okay, on a regular basis. So the

720
00:58:05.519 --> 00:58:11.000
relationship is probably in some ways the most intimate relationship

721
00:58:11.239 --> 00:58:20.519
I have ever had with a female. It's something very

722
00:58:21.760 --> 00:58:28.199
there's a lot of unsaid stuff, you know, it's like

723
00:58:28.280 --> 00:58:36.239
an understanding. I no amount of money, no amount of

724
00:58:36.320 --> 00:58:40.480
money that I gave my launderette ladies for washing my

725
00:58:40.599 --> 00:58:46.159
clothes was compensation enough for what they had to go through,

726
00:58:47.079 --> 00:58:52.880
is you know, for handling my washing my underpants or whatever.

727
00:58:53.960 --> 00:58:58.400
So I realized that, and I've always realized that right

728
00:58:58.440 --> 00:59:02.840
from an early age. I thought, yeah, it's a job

729
00:59:02.880 --> 00:59:06.360
I wouldn't particularly want to do out and I've had

730
00:59:06.440 --> 00:59:10.360
some really grotty jobs and I don't. It's just something

731
00:59:10.400 --> 00:59:13.639
I don't think i'd really I feel I'd rather I'd

732
00:59:13.760 --> 00:59:20.639
rather work down the sewers. I think they do that.

733
00:59:21.679 --> 00:59:26.760
It just yeah, it's so I had. But the difference

734
00:59:26.920 --> 00:59:30.840
is instead of like it's not looking down at someone

735
00:59:30.960 --> 00:59:36.199
doing a job, is admiration. That's how I feel. I

736
00:59:36.360 --> 00:59:39.519
admire someone who can do something like that, something that

737
00:59:40.280 --> 00:59:44.960
I don't think I could do, and it's just because

738
00:59:45.000 --> 00:59:52.559
it would just it's I don't have the rights. There's

739
00:59:52.599 --> 00:59:56.840
a certain skill set that I just don't have to

740
00:59:56.960 --> 01:00:00.239
do something like that to do that kind of work.

741
01:00:00.400 --> 01:00:02.920
So I've got a lot of admiration. I do admire

742
01:00:02.960 --> 01:00:05.719
people that can do things that I can't do, which

743
01:00:05.800 --> 01:00:08.039
means I admire probably most of the people in the

744
01:00:08.079 --> 01:00:11.719
world because I can't really do too much. I can

745
01:00:11.840 --> 01:00:17.800
talk absolutely rubbish for an hour. I'm quite good at

746
01:00:17.800 --> 01:00:25.159
watching television. That's about it. Really, I ain't got much

747
01:00:25.199 --> 01:00:30.400
else to me. It's that's my skill. My skill is

748
01:00:31.639 --> 01:00:39.920
just talking absolute warbly bobbly for whatever, you know, an hour,

749
01:00:40.079 --> 01:00:44.639
hour and a half. I've been talking for an hour.

750
01:00:44.679 --> 01:00:50.079
I've not even got onto the subject of boring hospital stories.

751
01:00:51.119 --> 01:00:56.599
Apart from I guess this last hour being boring. I

752
01:00:56.719 --> 01:01:04.440
can't stop talking. What's going on, By the way, I don't.

753
01:01:05.159 --> 01:01:09.800
I don't want this podcast to turn into me talking

754
01:01:09.800 --> 01:01:13.159
about hospitals the whole time. That's that is not my intention.

755
01:01:13.840 --> 01:01:17.519
So if you feel that's happening, let me know. But

756
01:01:19.840 --> 01:01:22.559
over the years, what you may have noticed if you've

757
01:01:22.639 --> 01:01:27.079
been following me for a while is I do talk

758
01:01:27.159 --> 01:01:30.440
about what's going on in my life as well as

759
01:01:32.360 --> 01:01:36.159
making up a lot of just silly stuff. This so

760
01:01:36.320 --> 01:01:39.599
this is one of those occasions where I'm I'm kind

761
01:01:39.639 --> 01:01:47.679
of intertwining reality and stupidity, I guess, instead of being

762
01:01:47.840 --> 01:01:54.360
mainly stupidity. So I try and mix it up a

763
01:01:54.480 --> 01:02:11.639
little bit, just just a little bit. And yeah, I said,

764
01:02:12.519 --> 01:02:17.400
I guess because I didn't do Did I do recording yesterday?

765
01:02:17.480 --> 01:02:19.639
I think I did? Didn't I I think I did.

766
01:02:19.840 --> 01:02:22.280
Didn't do one Saturday? Did a Q and a Friday.

767
01:02:22.840 --> 01:02:27.320
I think yesterday. By the way, you might be able

768
01:02:27.360 --> 01:02:32.360
to hear some background music. Sorry about that, but it's summer.

769
01:02:32.880 --> 01:02:35.280
Everyone's got their windows open rightly, so.

770
01:02:37.119 --> 01:02:39.039
And you know what.

771
01:02:40.760 --> 01:02:44.400
Yesterday I was I'd made a recording in the afternoon,

772
01:02:46.679 --> 01:02:50.360
and I could hear the neighbors shouting as I was

773
01:02:50.440 --> 01:02:55.639
doing the editing, and I thought, wow, if you can

774
01:02:55.719 --> 01:03:00.880
hear that on this microphone, then that just shows you

775
01:03:01.039 --> 01:03:05.400
how loud it was, because they're not in my garden,

776
01:03:05.599 --> 01:03:12.840
in a different garden over a fence. Just shows you

777
01:03:12.960 --> 01:03:19.400
how loud it was, but it didn't seem to be continuous.

778
01:03:20.679 --> 01:03:25.000
That was just a particular right, ra ra raa like that.

779
01:03:27.199 --> 01:03:29.159
I mean I think I just made more sense than

780
01:03:29.639 --> 01:03:37.440
the person that was shouting. But yeah, kind of. So

781
01:03:37.559 --> 01:03:41.119
I've been in hospital twice. Oh, now we start the

782
01:03:41.199 --> 01:03:44.199
recording an hour into it, begin to start, now, are

783
01:03:44.280 --> 01:03:49.119
we well? Okay, calm down. I've been in hospital twice.

784
01:03:51.440 --> 01:03:56.519
I had my adenoids out when I was seven. I

785
01:03:56.679 --> 01:03:59.559
was about eight. I think it was even just before

786
01:03:59.599 --> 01:04:02.360
I was a or just after. I think it was

787
01:04:02.519 --> 01:04:06.199
just before I was eight years old. Now, the reason

788
01:04:06.480 --> 01:04:10.880
I had my adenoids out is because I was partially deaf.

789
01:04:11.840 --> 01:04:32.800
We have a drink of water. Ah, yeah, so it's

790
01:04:32.920 --> 01:04:40.119
basically just start. It started with. Oh, so I was

791
01:04:40.159 --> 01:04:42.800
in junior school and I started having to go to

792
01:04:43.480 --> 01:04:49.519
the nurse. So I was getting earaches, and progressively it

793
01:04:49.599 --> 01:04:55.440
was kind of becoming really really regular. I don't know

794
01:04:55.559 --> 01:04:57.719
how much I was skiving. If I'm honest with you,

795
01:05:00.280 --> 01:05:02.639
I might have just liked the nurse. I don't know,

796
01:05:02.800 --> 01:05:08.800
I can't remember, but I think I might have told

797
01:05:08.840 --> 01:05:14.880
her she had nice eyes. It's possible this inappropriateness started

798
01:05:15.079 --> 01:05:24.039
many very very young. I said oh, yeah, I had

799
01:05:24.239 --> 01:05:28.719
my I didn't know what was going on. And then

800
01:05:28.800 --> 01:05:31.119
I started going to the I get sent to the doctors.

801
01:05:31.599 --> 01:05:35.320
Then I got sent to the hospital, and they started

802
01:05:35.400 --> 01:05:40.599
testing my ears to see what was wrong with my ears.

803
01:05:40.880 --> 01:05:43.719
And they started testing my ears as in not just

804
01:05:43.880 --> 01:05:48.760
looking through them and stuff through them. I'd been through them,

805
01:05:49.239 --> 01:05:52.760
but into them with those little eye things that they do.

806
01:05:57.400 --> 01:06:00.519
But they started to give me hearing tests and I

807
01:06:00.679 --> 01:06:05.800
was partially deaf in my ear. Now. They said, that

808
01:06:06.000 --> 01:06:12.400
explains why I'm so behind at school, and it's really weird.

809
01:06:12.559 --> 01:06:14.559
I seem to be the only one that was surprised

810
01:06:14.599 --> 01:06:18.519
at that statement. I didn't know I was behind a school.

811
01:06:19.760 --> 01:06:28.800
I said, look, it's I have I'm behind. I'm wow.

812
01:06:29.239 --> 01:06:31.440
Finished staring at me? Are you staring at me for?

813
01:06:32.199 --> 01:06:35.880
Were you staring at You're deady for? I think he's

814
01:06:35.960 --> 01:06:39.679
just happy to have me home. I spent the whole

815
01:06:39.719 --> 01:06:43.119
weekend with him here this weekend, and it was boring,

816
01:06:43.400 --> 01:06:47.840
but he seemed so much happy to have me here.

817
01:06:48.599 --> 01:06:51.400
He was cuddled up to me. Weren't you You were

818
01:06:51.400 --> 01:06:53.239
happy to have your daddy back. Wasn't here for a

819
01:06:53.280 --> 01:06:56.039
couple of days, and I'm here tomorrow as well, So

820
01:06:56.039 --> 01:07:00.519
I'll spend all day with him tomorrow, and then I'll

821
01:07:00.719 --> 01:07:04.960
go on Wednesday for a bit visit, and then Thursday,

822
01:07:04.960 --> 01:07:07.840
I'll have all day with my little baby again on Thursday,

823
01:07:07.960 --> 01:07:11.480
won't I Yeah, then I'll go up to visit uncle.

824
01:07:11.719 --> 01:07:15.800
My uncle sausages, that's what Vinny calls him, Uncle's sausages

825
01:07:16.400 --> 01:07:24.280
because he gives him sausages. And I will then have

826
01:07:24.480 --> 01:07:26.920
the weekend off again. So I'm not going to go

827
01:07:27.039 --> 01:07:29.000
up at the weekends, and I'm going to go on Monday,

828
01:07:29.239 --> 01:07:36.039
Wednesday free right day. Yeah, depending, of course, I'm upon

829
01:07:36.119 --> 01:07:39.920
the situation. You know, if he called me up and said,

830
01:07:40.079 --> 01:07:43.480
can you please come tomorrow, I'll go. There's not an

831
01:07:43.519 --> 01:07:46.480
issue with that. But generally I told him I'll be

832
01:07:46.559 --> 01:07:50.559
there Wednesday. I'll call him tomorrow I see how he is.

833
01:07:51.199 --> 01:07:53.880
But if he needed me to go up, then I

834
01:07:53.920 --> 01:07:57.320
would go up. I mean, if he needed me to

835
01:07:57.320 --> 01:07:58.880
go up now, i'd go up. Now you know, I'll

836
01:07:58.920 --> 01:08:03.960
go back, So it's not that ain't no problem. You know,

837
01:08:04.159 --> 01:08:06.760
I've told him my phone is on anytime if he

838
01:08:06.840 --> 01:08:09.039
needs to call me in which he did over the weekend,

839
01:08:10.599 --> 01:08:17.000
and I'm kind of his I could say lifeline. That's

840
01:08:17.079 --> 01:08:20.439
very dramatic. But I'm I'm someone that he can just

841
01:08:20.560 --> 01:08:27.039
contact if he just wants to just update me on stuff,

842
01:08:27.119 --> 01:08:30.199
you know, even if it's And he phoned me up

843
01:08:30.279 --> 01:08:36.199
yesterday to talk about Jaws the movie, and him and

844
01:08:36.279 --> 01:08:38.479
his neighbor in there they were having like a little

845
01:08:38.560 --> 01:08:45.239
quiz quizzy game talking about movies and they were trying

846
01:08:45.279 --> 01:08:50.119
to remember the main character that the actual actors in Jaws.

847
01:08:51.479 --> 01:08:58.399
So you had Robert Shaw, David s Or Schneider. I

848
01:08:58.479 --> 01:09:04.159
forget what his first name is, and I've lost his

849
01:09:04.279 --> 01:09:05.600
name again. I did remember it.

850
01:09:06.079 --> 01:09:06.640
He was in.

851
01:09:09.359 --> 01:09:16.840
Uh do Do Do Do Do? That movie something of

852
01:09:16.960 --> 01:09:21.680
the Close Encounters of the Third kind. So it's those

853
01:09:21.760 --> 01:09:23.920
three that were in that movie. They were the stars

854
01:09:25.920 --> 01:09:31.800
and Schneider who what was his first name? But Robert

855
01:09:31.880 --> 01:09:35.920
Shaw was the He was a captain, the captain of

856
01:09:36.039 --> 01:09:43.159
the of the the boat and what's his name? Do

857
01:09:43.439 --> 01:09:44.439
do do Do do?

858
01:09:45.720 --> 01:09:45.760
That?

859
01:09:46.039 --> 01:09:53.680
That bloke he was also in it is it Schneider

860
01:09:53.760 --> 01:09:55.760
that says, oh, you need to get a bigger boat.

861
01:09:56.199 --> 01:09:59.319
I think how's a good line in it, need to

862
01:09:59.319 --> 01:10:05.600
get a bigger boat. There was a movie called The

863
01:10:05.720 --> 01:10:09.319
Perfect Storm and I think this is in the two thousands,

864
01:10:10.399 --> 01:10:14.039
and it was basically a really big storm as basically

865
01:10:14.079 --> 01:10:19.039
what was around a boat in a storm, really big

866
01:10:19.119 --> 01:10:26.279
boat in a really bigger storm. And I remember seeing

867
01:10:26.560 --> 01:10:33.880
the trailer for this movie on television and in the

868
01:10:34.000 --> 01:10:37.079
trailer this is when it was like being released at

869
01:10:37.079 --> 01:10:40.600
the cinema. In the trailer, it was a bloke from

870
01:10:41.039 --> 01:10:47.119
a beautiful mind what's his name, and Gladiator, so he

871
01:10:47.319 --> 01:10:51.840
was the star of this movie. In the trailer, there's

872
01:10:51.880 --> 01:10:57.520
a part where there's this massive wave coming and Gladiator,

873
01:10:57.520 --> 01:11:05.479
a beautiful mind man shouts out hold on. At that point,

874
01:11:05.560 --> 01:11:10.159
I thought, I'm never going to watch that movie. If

875
01:11:10.279 --> 01:11:14.479
that's going to be the hook word hold on. If

876
01:11:14.520 --> 01:11:16.680
that's the best they can do in a situation like that,

877
01:11:16.880 --> 01:11:18.880
just shout hold on, then no, I'm not going to

878
01:11:18.920 --> 01:11:22.800
watch it. Sorry. If that, if that's the level of dialogue,

879
01:11:25.520 --> 01:11:29.399
just I don't know why it just But there again,

880
01:11:29.520 --> 01:11:33.920
I had the same I had the same opinion about Gladiator.

881
01:11:34.319 --> 01:11:36.079
I thought, I'm not watching this, but it was a

882
01:11:36.159 --> 01:11:39.199
great movie. I've found it to be a great movie.

883
01:11:41.039 --> 01:11:43.199
I need to be specific, and I mean it was

884
01:11:43.279 --> 01:11:49.239
class is a great movie by the critics and by

885
01:11:49.319 --> 01:11:57.560
the audience members. But I can only go by what

886
01:11:57.760 --> 01:12:02.640
I found, and it was I partly watched Gladiator too.

887
01:12:04.840 --> 01:12:09.600
But I made this error because I got this little

888
01:12:10.239 --> 01:12:15.600
walking machine. It's really cheap, nasty for members, and I

889
01:12:15.720 --> 01:12:19.199
got it about a year and a half ago. But

890
01:12:19.319 --> 01:12:26.439
it's really honestly, it's it doesn't feel safe even walking

891
01:12:26.479 --> 01:12:30.800
on it like a treadmill. Bit it's really tacky, and

892
01:12:31.960 --> 01:12:35.560
I'm a little bit worried about the carpet underneath. Seriously,

893
01:12:37.359 --> 01:12:39.279
but I thought, you know what, I'm going to give

894
01:12:39.279 --> 01:12:44.359
it a go. So I started watching Gladiator, and I thought,

895
01:12:44.399 --> 01:12:46.000
I'm only going to walk and I walked on it

896
01:12:46.039 --> 01:12:49.359
for about an hour, no half an hour maybe, so

897
01:12:49.439 --> 01:12:51.159
said I'm only going to walk on it when I

898
01:12:51.199 --> 01:12:56.239
watched Gladiator. Actually that's not what I thought. I thought,

899
01:12:56.319 --> 01:13:00.640
I'm never going to walk on it again, because it's rubbish. No,

900
01:13:00.680 --> 01:13:03.720
I didn't. Fact, I did feel like I was actually

901
01:13:04.239 --> 01:13:08.079
touching the carpet, which is not supposed to happen. And

902
01:13:08.159 --> 01:13:11.600
I was a bit concerned about my neighbor downstairs because

903
01:13:11.640 --> 01:13:17.840
she did see me a few days later and she said,

904
01:13:20.039 --> 01:13:25.159
were you dancing upstairs? I said no, She said, you

905
01:13:25.239 --> 01:13:28.960
were doing something because the whole flat was shaking. I said, no,

906
01:13:30.359 --> 01:13:34.680
I don't even live there anymore. She said what I said,

907
01:13:34.720 --> 01:13:36.279
I do live there. I don't know why I said that,

908
01:13:36.479 --> 01:13:39.000
but yeah, it wasn't me, he said it. Who else

909
01:13:39.039 --> 01:13:42.239
would it be? I said that I'm pigeons, maybe in

910
01:13:42.319 --> 01:13:50.680
the loft. Pigeons often are naughty in the loft. She said,

911
01:13:50.680 --> 01:13:53.960
how would the pigeons, said the loft affect my flat

912
01:13:54.520 --> 01:13:58.520
when your whole flat is in between me and the loft.

913
01:14:01.239 --> 01:14:03.680
I said, I don't have the answers to every question.

914
01:14:05.079 --> 01:14:10.479
You know, I'm not. I'm not a the thoras. She said,

915
01:14:12.239 --> 01:14:18.239
a fufill left. I said yeah. She said, well, if

916
01:14:18.279 --> 01:14:21.600
you're trying to say thesaurus, that doesn't have the answers

917
01:14:21.640 --> 01:14:26.359
to any questions. That's just descriptions of words and various

918
01:14:26.399 --> 01:14:32.199
different versions of the same word. Really, and I said yeah.

919
01:14:33.399 --> 01:14:37.039
She said we didn't make sense. I said, you don't

920
01:14:37.079 --> 01:14:45.520
make sense. Yeah. It was one of the better conversations

921
01:14:45.560 --> 01:14:49.279
I've had this year, actually, But then I didn't go

922
01:14:49.399 --> 01:14:53.800
back on the treadmill, if you want to call it that.

923
01:14:54.920 --> 01:14:56.880
So I'm not. And it's weird because I want to

924
01:14:56.920 --> 01:14:58.560
watch the rest of the movie. But every time I

925
01:14:58.640 --> 01:15:02.319
go to like watch it, I think, no, I need

926
01:15:02.399 --> 01:15:04.119
to need to get on the treadmill to watch that.

927
01:15:06.239 --> 01:15:15.000
How strange, isn't it? Isn't that a weird one? So

928
01:15:15.279 --> 01:15:19.319
I was having my ears tested and they said, oh, yeah,

929
01:15:19.439 --> 01:15:21.840
I was partly I don't even know which ear it was,

930
01:15:23.680 --> 01:15:25.359
right ear or left it. I couldn't even tell you

931
01:15:25.560 --> 01:15:28.039
such a long time ago I knew at the time,

932
01:15:29.680 --> 01:15:33.880
and it said, yeah, you're partially deaf in one ear,

933
01:15:34.239 --> 01:15:41.199
which explains why you're well. They didn't tell that. My

934
01:15:41.359 --> 01:15:44.560
parents said that to me. It's why I'm so behind

935
01:15:44.680 --> 01:15:48.039
at school. So they first all they blamed while I

936
01:15:48.119 --> 01:15:50.920
was so behind at school on the fact that I

937
01:15:51.079 --> 01:15:54.119
moved around so much as a little kid, so I

938
01:15:54.239 --> 01:15:57.039
never stayed in any school for a very long period

939
01:15:57.039 --> 01:16:03.079
of time. So pretty much taught myself to read, and

940
01:16:03.439 --> 01:16:07.079
my writing wasn't up to much at the age of seven,

941
01:16:08.479 --> 01:16:11.800
but you know I did. I picked it up and

942
01:16:11.960 --> 01:16:18.159
I loved reading, so I definitely wasn't. I wasn't behind.

943
01:16:18.279 --> 01:16:21.159
I personally wouldn't say that I was behind in reading.

944
01:16:23.600 --> 01:16:27.159
Whether I understood what I was reading, I said, it's

945
01:16:27.159 --> 01:16:29.720
still an issue now I'm not sure how much I understand,

946
01:16:29.800 --> 01:16:38.199
But I and writing. I learned to do joined up

947
01:16:38.239 --> 01:16:44.159
writing when I was about nine, nine or ten. That's

948
01:16:44.199 --> 01:16:48.920
when I learned to start doing joined up writing. And

949
01:16:54.119 --> 01:16:57.880
writing was okay. I was okay with writing. I didn't

950
01:16:58.039 --> 01:17:07.159
necessarily understand or the apostrophees and commas and stuff. I

951
01:17:07.239 --> 01:17:16.279
understood full stops made sense. So I wasn't necessarily grammatically correct,

952
01:17:17.079 --> 01:17:22.840
but I did as far as writing goes. But reading, yeah,

953
01:17:24.279 --> 01:17:28.920
reading was something that I just adored. I loved reading.

954
01:17:29.960 --> 01:17:33.039
And something happened the other day. I was watching a

955
01:17:33.119 --> 01:17:36.159
YouTube channel, a YouTube video, and it was about the

956
01:17:36.199 --> 01:17:41.600
Wizard of Oz. Now i'd forgotten or I didn't know,

957
01:17:41.840 --> 01:17:44.159
but I think I did previously. I think I did

958
01:17:44.239 --> 01:17:47.279
previously know, but I think i'd forgotten it. The Wizard

959
01:17:47.319 --> 01:17:51.840
of Oz books. There was a lot of books, like

960
01:17:52.279 --> 01:17:55.560
a lot, and the bloke who wrote the Wizard of

961
01:17:55.640 --> 01:17:59.960
Oz wrote lots of books about Oz and the different

962
01:18:00.159 --> 01:18:06.119
characters in US. Now, this is a memory that I'm

963
01:18:06.159 --> 01:18:08.920
not sure if it's true or not, but I'm pretty

964
01:18:09.000 --> 01:18:13.199
certain I read most of those books because I would

965
01:18:13.199 --> 01:18:15.039
get a book like that and i'd read it overnight

966
01:18:15.760 --> 01:18:18.439
or over a couple of days because I was just

967
01:18:18.920 --> 01:18:24.319
it was almost like it was like being really thirsty

968
01:18:24.439 --> 01:18:28.960
and drinking a lot of water. That was almost a

969
01:18:29.039 --> 01:18:31.439
bit like that for me. When I was reading, I

970
01:18:31.800 --> 01:18:34.520
just thought, ah, more, more and more and more. Loved it.

971
01:18:35.760 --> 01:18:37.920
And when I talk about it, it makes me hard, No,

972
01:18:38.039 --> 01:18:43.439
it makes me not horn. It makes me I didn't

973
01:18:43.479 --> 01:18:50.119
mean to say that, it makes me kind of damp. No,

974
01:18:50.279 --> 01:18:52.840
not damp. It makes me kind of want to do it,

975
01:18:52.920 --> 01:18:54.279
That's what I mean. It makes me want to kind

976
01:18:54.319 --> 01:18:58.039
of guess my juices going again, that probably sounds wrong

977
01:18:59.359 --> 01:19:02.119
to get a book, and I'm not even talking about

978
01:19:03.199 --> 01:19:05.680
factual books, which is something that I've focused on for

979
01:19:07.600 --> 01:19:12.359
most of my adult life. Really, I'd like to get

980
01:19:12.439 --> 01:19:22.640
back to maybe reading some what do you call it fiction?

981
01:19:23.159 --> 01:19:28.960
I guess yeah, story books and perhaps not most of

982
01:19:29.319 --> 01:19:31.399
supposed to call them story books, but that's what they are,

983
01:19:31.520 --> 01:19:34.279
isn't as a story. I'd like to get back to that.

984
01:19:36.279 --> 01:19:43.720
And maybe I did think about writing my own romantic novel,

985
01:19:44.359 --> 01:19:46.119
but doing it in my own, you know, doing my

986
01:19:46.199 --> 01:19:51.359
own little way. I did do it. Oh, I did

987
01:19:51.439 --> 01:19:57.560
this recording. I think it was a video or it

988
01:19:57.680 --> 01:20:01.720
might have been an audio, and I posted it online

989
01:20:02.119 --> 01:20:08.439
and a few this is back when I was fairly

990
01:20:08.760 --> 01:20:12.880
doing quite well on YouTube. They got quite quite a

991
01:20:12.960 --> 01:20:18.640
positive response. But I lost it. I lost the recording

992
01:20:18.720 --> 01:20:22.279
somewhere along the line. But it was quite funny and

993
01:20:22.399 --> 01:20:25.840
it was just a story of me a romantic encounter

994
01:20:26.640 --> 01:20:29.399
on a train and I was just saying all the

995
01:20:29.479 --> 01:20:32.760
wrong things and it was but this is I mean,

996
01:20:34.000 --> 01:20:37.560
we're talking like two tenty twelve. I think I did

997
01:20:37.640 --> 01:20:43.640
this recording, and yeah, well I wish I had it,

998
01:20:43.760 --> 01:20:48.079
just so I could have a little listen. I also

999
01:20:48.159 --> 01:20:55.680
did a recording based on Andre talking and it was

1000
01:20:55.760 --> 01:20:58.239
a whole recording of him just making fun of me.

1001
01:20:59.079 --> 01:21:02.680
I think I lost that as well, so that would

1002
01:21:02.680 --> 01:21:04.239
have been it would be good to be able to

1003
01:21:04.359 --> 01:21:09.840
listen to. Lost a lot of recordings over the years,

1004
01:21:10.800 --> 01:21:14.520
a good few hundred videos and recordings, audio recordings. I've

1005
01:21:14.560 --> 01:21:26.319
lost some that will potentially not too awful, potentially I reckon.

1006
01:21:26.399 --> 01:21:31.039
Over the nineteen years I've been doing these things, there

1007
01:21:31.079 --> 01:21:33.359
must be I've got I have at least a handful

1008
01:21:34.039 --> 01:21:39.720
of decent recordings, ones that are just good. There's got

1009
01:21:39.840 --> 01:21:42.800
to be. There's got to be a few little gems there.

1010
01:21:42.960 --> 01:21:53.840
Surely even if it was accidental. So the doctor regarding

1011
01:21:53.920 --> 01:21:58.560
my hearings said, well, it is going to be pretty

1012
01:21:58.640 --> 01:22:03.159
much one of two things. Either I was born that

1013
01:22:03.279 --> 01:22:06.399
way so I've always been partially deaf in one ear.

1014
01:22:08.000 --> 01:22:11.319
Or I'd had an accident and bang my head when

1015
01:22:11.359 --> 01:22:14.720
I was a kid little, which did happen, but I

1016
01:22:14.800 --> 01:22:16.640
think it happens for a lot of kids, don't there.

1017
01:22:16.720 --> 01:22:19.560
But I remember I fell down some concrete steps once

1018
01:22:19.800 --> 01:22:26.840
when I was about five, four or five, And yeah,

1019
01:22:27.840 --> 01:22:31.159
health and safety wasn't really a thing back then in

1020
01:22:31.239 --> 01:22:37.399
the seventies, So yeah, I did take a Yeah, definitely

1021
01:22:37.520 --> 01:22:40.319
had a few bashes on the head over my childhood.

1022
01:22:42.680 --> 01:22:44.399
But I might also have been born like this. I

1023
01:22:44.439 --> 01:22:50.359
don't know. So what they did is they it was

1024
01:22:50.560 --> 01:22:54.359
It's basically just a blockage. So my adinoids were blocking

1025
01:22:55.119 --> 01:23:01.880
or causing a blockage in one of my ears, maybe

1026
01:23:01.960 --> 01:23:04.800
both my ears, but I think it was one. So

1027
01:23:04.960 --> 01:23:10.600
they took my had anoyds out when I was I

1028
01:23:10.800 --> 01:23:15.439
was either eight or just before I was eight. My

1029
01:23:15.560 --> 01:23:20.439
biggest memory of that two things. First of all, I've

1030
01:23:20.479 --> 01:23:23.760
made Teddy Bear with me, which was nice. I love

1031
01:23:23.800 --> 01:23:27.560
my little Teddy Bear, and I might have called him Teddy,

1032
01:23:28.960 --> 01:23:34.119
and you might think, oh that's original, oh Teddy, like okay, Well,

1033
01:23:34.279 --> 01:23:37.039
my granddad was called Teddy and my uncle was called Edward,

1034
01:23:37.920 --> 01:23:43.479
so both of them because in this country, ted is

1035
01:23:44.720 --> 01:23:49.159
another name for Edward and Eddie is another name for Edward.

1036
01:23:49.479 --> 01:23:52.600
So my granddad was called ted and my uncle was

1037
01:23:52.640 --> 01:23:57.079
called Eddie, but they were both called Edward. And I

1038
01:23:57.279 --> 01:24:03.439
called my Teddy ted or Teddy, probably after my granddad.

1039
01:24:03.479 --> 01:24:06.720
Probably maybe I called him ted, But I wouldn't dare

1040
01:24:06.760 --> 01:24:11.680
call my granddad ted. No, it was Granddad. He didn't

1041
01:24:11.680 --> 01:24:21.119
play those games. Oh no, he would have. I there

1042
01:24:21.239 --> 01:24:26.359
was that. And the other thing is I had botherel

1043
01:24:26.439 --> 01:24:31.680
for the first time, which was a bad idea because

1044
01:24:31.720 --> 01:24:33.560
that was the last drink of the day, and I

1045
01:24:33.640 --> 01:24:35.479
think that was just before I had the operation, so

1046
01:24:35.520 --> 01:24:38.439
I wasn't allowed any more water or anything, any food

1047
01:24:38.520 --> 01:24:42.039
or anything. And as botherl, which meant I mean that

1048
01:24:42.239 --> 01:24:43.960
to me, it was just like having a a mouth

1049
01:24:44.039 --> 01:24:50.520
of mud, mouthful of mud, liquid mud. It was. It

1050
01:24:50.680 --> 01:24:53.800
wasn't my thing. Botherel wasn't my It's kind of like

1051
01:24:53.920 --> 01:24:58.479
liquid marmite. I would say, it's a yeast extract drink.

1052
01:25:00.279 --> 01:25:05.840
And I wasn't pleased with that. It wasn't a good decision.

1053
01:25:05.880 --> 01:25:08.680
But I remember. It's really weird because bearing in mind

1054
01:25:08.720 --> 01:25:12.920
it's such a long time ago. Now I remember the

1055
01:25:13.560 --> 01:25:17.319
because I was an award Bloody Dogs again, can you

1056
01:25:17.359 --> 01:25:21.359
hear that? I wait till it stops and I'll start

1057
01:25:21.439 --> 01:25:27.640
talking again. So I just remember this that. I don't

1058
01:25:27.680 --> 01:25:30.840
think it was anyone else in the ward. Maybe one

1059
01:25:30.880 --> 01:25:33.920
other person. There was a children's ward, I think, but

1060
01:25:34.079 --> 01:25:39.479
it was grim. It was like underground, no windows, it was.

1061
01:25:40.239 --> 01:25:42.359
It wasn't a nice ward. It was in a really

1062
01:25:42.520 --> 01:25:46.279
old hospital that I think got shut down because it

1063
01:25:46.399 --> 01:25:49.640
was it'd been there since the Civil War, I think,

1064
01:25:52.479 --> 01:26:01.760
and the one in France, and I I thought, so

1065
01:26:02.000 --> 01:26:10.039
the lady came down with this trolley full of different things, tea, coffees, cocoa,

1066
01:26:11.399 --> 01:26:20.319
bov real water, juice probably I don't know if there

1067
01:26:20.359 --> 01:26:23.439
be any fizzy drinks, probably not, but just that kind

1068
01:26:23.439 --> 01:26:29.680
of stuff aholics and no coffee that I don't think

1069
01:26:29.680 --> 01:26:35.319
they had coffee for kids back then. It didn't want

1070
01:26:35.319 --> 01:26:42.079
me running around or whizzing being excited, and I couldn't

1071
01:26:42.079 --> 01:26:44.239
make my mind up. This has been an issue I

1072
01:26:44.399 --> 01:26:51.239
had all through my childhood and still today struggle to

1073
01:26:51.319 --> 01:26:56.600
make my mind up about anything. Really, I mean, it

1074
01:26:56.680 --> 01:27:01.199
was an issue more for other people than me. It

1075
01:27:01.319 --> 01:27:04.359
was annoying for me where it was trustrating. For me

1076
01:27:05.319 --> 01:27:07.800
it was I suppose it got really annoying for other people,

1077
01:27:08.560 --> 01:27:10.880
you know, if who was in a who were ordering

1078
01:27:11.000 --> 01:27:16.319
food or you know, things like that, choosing a video

1079
01:27:16.520 --> 01:27:22.239
to watch, even up to the last time I went

1080
01:27:22.279 --> 01:27:33.239
into Blockbusters, which would have been two when the Blockbusters

1081
01:27:33.800 --> 01:27:37.760
shut down, so over ten years ago. In it twelve

1082
01:27:37.840 --> 01:27:41.319
years ago, So the last time I went into Blockbusters,

1083
01:27:42.239 --> 01:27:45.560
and every other time, and every other time that I

1084
01:27:45.600 --> 01:27:52.079
went to any video shop, I would spend an absolute

1085
01:27:53.439 --> 01:28:01.479
age trying to decide which video to get. Unless I

1086
01:28:01.560 --> 01:28:04.680
went there for a specific thing. So if I went

1087
01:28:04.720 --> 01:28:08.159
there for the new season of the Sopranos box set,

1088
01:28:09.600 --> 01:28:15.000
then it was quite simple. I'd get that. But if

1089
01:28:15.039 --> 01:28:23.079
I was if there was a particular movie, but outside

1090
01:28:23.119 --> 01:28:26.600
of that, I would be there for ages. And I

1091
01:28:26.720 --> 01:28:30.880
did the same thing as a kid. I'd spend probably hours,

1092
01:28:31.880 --> 01:28:35.039
I'm not even joking be I'd go and look at

1093
01:28:35.119 --> 01:28:40.680
the back cover of every single video. Now in Blockbusters,

1094
01:28:40.880 --> 01:28:43.680
that's not you don't you know, things were in cases,

1095
01:28:43.720 --> 01:28:48.720
weren't they, uh, the Blockbuster cases, but in the original

1096
01:28:49.439 --> 01:28:53.600
video shops, well at least where I lived, all the

1097
01:28:53.720 --> 01:28:57.920
videos were still in the video case with you know,

1098
01:28:58.319 --> 01:29:00.960
the picture of the movie on the front, who was

1099
01:29:01.039 --> 01:29:05.039
in the movie on the back, the synopsis of the movie,

1100
01:29:05.960 --> 01:29:10.520
Pluster videotape was in there, so everything was kind of there.

1101
01:29:10.560 --> 01:29:16.640
So I'd go through every video looking for something that

1102
01:29:17.439 --> 01:29:28.880
peaked my peakiness, got my juices going, made me moist,

1103
01:29:29.119 --> 01:29:35.520
I don't know, whatever got me excited, and it would

1104
01:29:35.560 --> 01:29:43.279
take forever. Honestly, I'd be in there for an hour

1105
01:29:43.319 --> 01:29:47.119
and a half. And none of these shops were big,

1106
01:29:47.520 --> 01:29:51.399
by the way, they were jam packed, but they like,

1107
01:29:51.520 --> 01:29:53.640
we have videos. And I only did this when there's

1108
01:29:53.680 --> 01:29:56.960
no one else around, So I wouldn't do this if

1109
01:29:57.039 --> 01:29:58.920
it was busy, if there was a lot of other customers,

1110
01:30:00.199 --> 01:30:02.199
it was you know, and they all got to know

1111
01:30:02.359 --> 01:30:09.560
me because I think one of the owner of the

1112
01:30:09.680 --> 01:30:16.720
video shop once said to me, do you what did

1113
01:30:16.760 --> 01:30:22.800
he say? It's just something like, oh, by the way,

1114
01:30:22.960 --> 01:30:24.600
just let you know you're going to be getting a

1115
01:30:24.640 --> 01:30:30.640
pay rise next month. And I said what he said

1116
01:30:31.520 --> 01:30:33.920
and he just liked he laughs. So I forgot you

1117
01:30:34.000 --> 01:30:37.159
don't work here, do. I was there so often he

1118
01:30:37.199 --> 01:30:40.680
thought I worked there. He was the boss, he was

1119
01:30:40.760 --> 01:30:46.079
the owner. They had no staff. It was a family

1120
01:30:46.159 --> 01:30:54.600
run business. They lived there. I mean, once I stay,

1121
01:30:55.840 --> 01:30:58.760
he started moaning because so used to me. He once

1122
01:30:58.840 --> 01:31:02.560
he has started moaning. It was moaning nights. He said, Jason,

1123
01:31:02.640 --> 01:31:06.880
can you please stop leaving dirty dishes in the sink,

1124
01:31:07.000 --> 01:31:10.279
but can you wash up after yourself? I said, I

1125
01:31:10.319 --> 01:31:17.880
don't live with you. You're not my dad. What's going on?

1126
01:31:18.880 --> 01:31:21.119
And he just forgot. I thought I was actually one

1127
01:31:21.159 --> 01:31:24.279
of his kids because I was always there looking at

1128
01:31:24.279 --> 01:31:29.119
the videos. Now, technically that would have been a really

1129
01:31:29.159 --> 01:31:33.880
good job for me because not only was I an

1130
01:31:33.960 --> 01:31:39.079
avid video watcher, I knew where all the videos were.

1131
01:31:39.479 --> 01:31:43.279
I knew where all the titles were. So if you

1132
01:31:43.399 --> 01:31:45.840
just said to me, oh, if you got the Big

1133
01:31:45.960 --> 01:31:52.479
Boss Bruce Lee's movie, or if you've got I don't

1134
01:31:52.479 --> 01:31:54.520
know anything like a Disney movie, or if you've got

1135
01:31:55.039 --> 01:31:58.119
I could say yes or no. Because I knew what

1136
01:31:58.359 --> 01:32:03.960
was on the shelves. I was always It's really weird.

1137
01:32:04.000 --> 01:32:07.319
I just knew where everything was. So because I was

1138
01:32:07.399 --> 01:32:09.680
in there a near the every day looking for the

1139
01:32:09.760 --> 01:32:14.319
next video, and that's what I did. And it was

1140
01:32:14.399 --> 01:32:19.560
so cheap. It was probably like fifty pence forty pence

1141
01:32:19.640 --> 01:32:22.560
or something to rent a video out for one day,

1142
01:32:23.479 --> 01:32:26.800
and so i'd get At times I would be in

1143
01:32:26.880 --> 01:32:33.439
there every day, especially during the holidays. Oh, such a

1144
01:32:33.560 --> 01:32:40.760
nice I liked those times. With Blockbusters. It was more

1145
01:32:41.359 --> 01:32:47.680
a weekly thing because I was working, and it'd be

1146
01:32:48.000 --> 01:32:51.640
probably like a lot of people would, I guess, do

1147
01:32:52.319 --> 01:32:57.039
go on a Friday evening or Saturday evening and just

1148
01:32:57.199 --> 01:33:00.399
rent out like maybe two or three videos for the

1149
01:33:00.479 --> 01:33:08.199
weekend and bring them back on a Monday. So yeah,

1150
01:33:08.279 --> 01:33:14.239
I lived just up the road from Yeah, I did

1151
01:33:14.319 --> 01:33:23.199
lift just up the road from the video shop. Yeah,

1152
01:33:23.600 --> 01:33:28.279
but it's actually two different places. I lived just the

1153
01:33:28.399 --> 01:33:31.279
next place was just around the corner. The other place

1154
01:33:31.520 --> 01:33:34.600
was a lot further away, but the place before that

1155
01:33:34.960 --> 01:33:42.880
was and it wasn't far, probably fifteen minute walk, so

1156
01:33:42.960 --> 01:33:49.760
it wasn't far. Really. I used to love it though,

1157
01:33:49.760 --> 01:33:56.000
it's I love getting videos out. It's strange how things

1158
01:33:56.039 --> 01:34:00.880
had changed because now because of all the streaming, I mean,

1159
01:34:00.920 --> 01:34:04.720
Blockbusters closed down in this country anyway. I don't know

1160
01:34:04.720 --> 01:34:08.239
if this video shops elsewhere, but I don't think video

1161
01:34:08.319 --> 01:34:14.479
shops exist anymore, or DVD shops. They still sell DVDs,

1162
01:34:15.000 --> 01:34:22.399
I think, but it's streaming. But the thing is, what

1163
01:34:22.520 --> 01:34:28.840
I noticed with the streaming companies, the channels, is they

1164
01:34:28.920 --> 01:34:31.640
don't keep the same stuff on there. They tend to

1165
01:34:31.720 --> 01:34:36.319
take stuff off. Even Netflix doesn't keep the same stuff

1166
01:34:36.359 --> 01:34:39.760
on there. Forever they love stuff and then they'll take

1167
01:34:39.840 --> 01:34:42.560
it off. I don't know why I repeat myself then,

1168
01:34:43.800 --> 01:34:55.840
and that is slightly disappointing to myself, because because because

1169
01:34:55.920 --> 01:35:01.159
of the wonderful thing he does, I'm thinking of what,

1170
01:35:01.680 --> 01:35:07.159
maybe reading all of the Wizard of Oz books, maybe

1171
01:35:07.359 --> 01:35:09.960
getting them all and just reading them. I mean, that

1172
01:35:10.000 --> 01:35:12.079
would be the point of reading them, isn't it. I'd

1173
01:35:12.119 --> 01:35:17.680
have to get them first. And I was also thinking

1174
01:35:17.680 --> 01:35:21.600
about writing a book, not a Wizard of Oz book,

1175
01:35:24.079 --> 01:35:29.520
but I did wonder sometimes the idea of creating a

1176
01:35:29.640 --> 01:35:35.359
new world. Now it's been done, of course well by

1177
01:35:35.439 --> 01:35:44.359
lots of people, but more famously what's her name? But

1178
01:35:44.399 --> 01:35:47.439
what's a Harry Potter. You've got the Wizard of Oz,

1179
01:35:47.520 --> 01:35:55.279
you've got Narnia, you've got Discworld, you've got the uh

1180
01:35:59.319 --> 01:36:04.520
Token and whatever may be, my precious that that thing

1181
01:36:05.399 --> 01:36:11.479
the Hobbit or that kind of world. So I do think,

1182
01:36:11.920 --> 01:36:17.239
you know, I thought about making a world up, but

1183
01:36:17.359 --> 01:36:19.600
that's it looks like it looks like a lot of effort,

1184
01:36:21.199 --> 01:36:26.680
and remember on all the different characters. I don't know,

1185
01:36:29.000 --> 01:36:32.039
I thought. I did think maybe introducing some new characters

1186
01:36:32.159 --> 01:36:40.000
to my podcasts, or perhaps having a guest, a guest

1187
01:36:40.159 --> 01:36:46.800
come in and like a you know, a different personality

1188
01:36:46.880 --> 01:36:52.520
you come and talk once a week, or maybe Vinnie

1189
01:36:52.600 --> 01:36:59.880
doing a show. I don't know. When I have my

1190
01:37:00.000 --> 01:37:02.439
appendix out. When I was about twelve, that was brilliant.

1191
01:37:02.479 --> 01:37:06.000
I loved that. I loved everything about that. There was

1192
01:37:06.039 --> 01:37:09.319
a few moments when I was embarrassed. There was one

1193
01:37:09.359 --> 01:37:17.960
particular time when I all I wanted to do is

1194
01:37:19.199 --> 01:37:22.319
I don't know why I didn't just go over there,

1195
01:37:22.800 --> 01:37:25.239
but I think at this point I wasn't really supposed

1196
01:37:25.279 --> 01:37:27.760
to leave my bed because it was just after the op,

1197
01:37:28.199 --> 01:37:30.399
so they didn't want me putting pressure on the stitches

1198
01:37:30.479 --> 01:37:37.319
and stuff. But I thought I got a way around this,

1199
01:37:38.239 --> 01:37:42.159
so I put my hand up, I said miss, and

1200
01:37:43.760 --> 01:37:46.279
I actually got up and I started walking towards the

1201
01:37:46.960 --> 01:37:49.760
hallway because that's where there was a box of comics,

1202
01:37:49.800 --> 01:37:51.439
and I wanted to have a look at the comics

1203
01:37:53.199 --> 01:37:55.319
to see what was in there. I think there was

1204
01:37:55.399 --> 01:37:59.079
like X Men comics and stuff like that. And the

1205
01:37:59.199 --> 01:38:03.840
nurse we're going. I said, I'm just going to go

1206
01:38:04.079 --> 01:38:06.680
to the toilet. She said, no, turn around. You know

1207
01:38:06.720 --> 01:38:09.600
you're not allowed to walk around until the stitches are

1208
01:38:10.159 --> 01:38:17.680
a bit more cemented. I said, okay, so I go

1209
01:38:17.920 --> 01:38:19.239
just to get back in bed. She said, no, no,

1210
01:38:19.399 --> 01:38:24.079
if you just if you can just stand there, and

1211
01:38:26.680 --> 01:38:34.680
she pulled out this. I actually thought there were hats,

1212
01:38:34.920 --> 01:38:41.560
but they're not hats, like a cardboard hat, and she yeah,

1213
01:38:42.399 --> 01:38:47.920
she pulled one of them out. Apparently I thought people

1214
01:38:48.079 --> 01:38:51.920
laughing because they were enjoying my dance in my comedy routine,

1215
01:38:52.000 --> 01:38:56.600
but apparently it's because that's not what they were for.

1216
01:38:59.079 --> 01:39:01.399
So she got me to she said, well, now do

1217
01:39:01.920 --> 01:39:04.760
we weies in? I don't know. She said those words

1218
01:39:05.319 --> 01:39:06.960
when I was twelve, so I don't know if that

1219
01:39:07.159 --> 01:39:14.119
was the right thing. But anyway, at this point, at

1220
01:39:14.159 --> 01:39:18.439
this junction in my life, I was a teenager. I

1221
01:39:18.520 --> 01:39:24.159
was getting onto being a teenager. I was self conscious

1222
01:39:24.199 --> 01:39:28.560
about my body. I also had a huge interest in

1223
01:39:29.479 --> 01:39:33.680
the ladies in females at this time, especially older women,

1224
01:39:33.880 --> 01:39:39.119
loved really. They had no interest in me. I was

1225
01:39:39.199 --> 01:39:42.960
interested in them. And there was a particular nurse Therecord

1226
01:39:43.079 --> 01:39:47.960
Nurse Nichols, that I was in love with. I've been

1227
01:39:48.039 --> 01:39:51.039
in love many times, especially when I was a kid,

1228
01:39:51.199 --> 01:40:00.600
constantly in love with women, and yeah, but anyway, I

1229
01:40:00.680 --> 01:40:02.760
don't think it was Nurse Nichols, but it's a different

1230
01:40:02.840 --> 01:40:07.039
nurse another. They were all nice, but she came like friendly.

1231
01:40:07.079 --> 01:40:10.720
I mean, she came over and she said, just do

1232
01:40:10.800 --> 01:40:12.319
it in here. I said, it's okay. He says, no,

1233
01:40:12.399 --> 01:40:16.479
that's right. I hold it. This is the cardboard fing

1234
01:40:16.560 --> 01:40:22.319
of me. And it was among the most embarrassing things

1235
01:40:22.600 --> 01:40:26.359
that I've done because I didn't need to go to

1236
01:40:26.479 --> 01:40:29.760
the toilet, I didn't need a we wi. So I'm

1237
01:40:29.800 --> 01:40:39.279
standing there with my you know, aimed and nothing happened,

1238
01:40:42.600 --> 01:40:48.439
and I was talking to her. I just wish you'd

1239
01:40:48.479 --> 01:40:50.079
look at me in the eyes. That's all I wanted.

1240
01:40:50.680 --> 01:40:52.920
Just just look up here. My face is up here.

1241
01:40:54.079 --> 01:40:59.800
And it was so embarrassing. The weird thing about it

1242
01:40:59.840 --> 01:41:02.840
is even more embarrassing really when I think about it,

1243
01:41:02.920 --> 01:41:09.359
because at the time she was an old woman, you know,

1244
01:41:09.520 --> 01:41:13.680
I was twelve. She was I mean old, as in

1245
01:41:13.800 --> 01:41:19.279
she was as old. But in reality the nurses might

1246
01:41:19.279 --> 01:41:23.079
have only been like eighteen nineteen, so they were young.

1247
01:41:23.800 --> 01:41:26.239
But because I was so young, they all seemed really old.

1248
01:41:26.399 --> 01:41:30.840
They might be like twenties. So the fact is these

1249
01:41:30.920 --> 01:41:37.119
were young women, which makes it more embarrassing. But I

1250
01:41:37.239 --> 01:41:47.760
was I couldn't, I couldn't go weeries and yeah, that wasn't.

1251
01:41:47.840 --> 01:41:52.279
I didn't didn't enjoy that, which just goes to show

1252
01:41:52.279 --> 01:41:59.880
I suppose that was another another you know, learning moment

1253
01:42:00.199 --> 01:42:05.399
about not lying. I suppose, but I didn't. I didn't

1254
01:42:05.479 --> 01:42:13.000
really feel that I was lying, although technically I suppose

1255
01:42:13.079 --> 01:42:17.920
I was, but it didn't really feel that way. I

1256
01:42:18.079 --> 01:42:24.720
was just telling FIBs because I wanted to. I wanted

1257
01:42:24.760 --> 01:42:31.439
to read a comic. But the problem is at that

1258
01:42:31.760 --> 01:42:37.279
time I was still getting the Dandy and looking and

1259
01:42:37.439 --> 01:42:39.439
I was probably a bit too old for those comics,

1260
01:42:39.600 --> 01:42:43.159
so I said, don't bring them in. But the comics

1261
01:42:43.199 --> 01:42:45.159
they had for the kids were a little bit older

1262
01:42:45.760 --> 01:42:51.760
than what I would normally look at. And I've never

1263
01:42:51.880 --> 01:42:55.119
seen any of the whole thing you've noticed is a

1264
01:42:55.199 --> 01:42:58.359
fly again of you. I've never seen any of these

1265
01:42:58.439 --> 01:43:02.960
superhero comics before, because my brothers didn't used to get

1266
01:43:03.039 --> 01:43:07.039
those kind of comics, although I think one of them

1267
01:43:07.079 --> 01:43:12.319
did start to. But I used to get Looking and

1268
01:43:12.520 --> 01:43:17.800
the Dandy every week. My brother that was two years

1269
01:43:17.800 --> 01:43:22.239
older than me used to get The Beano and Wizard

1270
01:43:22.319 --> 01:43:26.760
and Chips. And my oldest brother, who was four years

1271
01:43:26.800 --> 01:43:29.760
older than me, I think he used to get a

1272
01:43:30.119 --> 01:43:36.279
football magazine and a war magazine because there used to

1273
01:43:36.319 --> 01:43:40.279
be a lot of that stuff back in the late

1274
01:43:40.439 --> 01:43:46.600
seventies early eighties those But yeah, I think he might

1275
01:43:46.640 --> 01:43:51.840
have had a roy of the Rovers or something was

1276
01:43:51.920 --> 01:43:56.119
a comic that he might have gotten, and but of

1277
01:43:56.199 --> 01:43:59.039
course it might changed. I'm sure one of them started

1278
01:43:59.039 --> 01:44:05.359
getting superhero comics. So I got this this memory of

1279
01:44:05.520 --> 01:44:13.520
seeing Wolverine, and I struggled to follow this story because

1280
01:44:13.560 --> 01:44:18.960
the graphics were amazing, but I couldn't always see figure

1281
01:44:18.960 --> 01:44:22.680
out who was saying what and why, And because the

1282
01:44:22.800 --> 01:44:25.760
story is carried on from the previous week or the

1283
01:44:25.840 --> 01:44:30.720
previous comic, there seemed to be a lack of consistency,

1284
01:44:32.399 --> 01:44:35.279
or I suppose maybe too much consistency depends on how

1285
01:44:35.319 --> 01:44:35.760
you look at it.

1286
01:44:38.399 --> 01:44:38.880
Yeah, so.

1287
01:44:41.119 --> 01:44:43.000
I just wanted to look at the comics. That's all

1288
01:44:43.079 --> 01:44:47.279
it was. But other than that, it was the bestest

1289
01:44:47.439 --> 01:44:52.239
time of my childhood. Being in that hospital was brilliant.

1290
01:44:52.439 --> 01:44:56.800
So not all the everyone, one of the doctors, not

1291
01:44:56.920 --> 01:45:05.760
so much, but all of the nurses. You know, it

1292
01:45:06.000 --> 01:45:15.520
was Yeah, it was okay, it was more than okay.

1293
01:45:15.640 --> 01:45:18.920
I enjoyed it. It was a nice time. It was

1294
01:45:19.079 --> 01:45:21.760
lovely to have a break from school, have a break

1295
01:45:21.840 --> 01:45:26.119
from family life. That was lovely. Just to be away

1296
01:45:26.159 --> 01:45:33.359
from everyone. It was just spectacularly wonderful. I stayed in

1297
01:45:33.479 --> 01:45:38.039
there for a long time because I loved it. I

1298
01:45:38.159 --> 01:45:43.199
got so well with the other kids, and yeah, I

1299
01:45:43.279 --> 01:45:47.319
didn't feel I mean, I just didn't feel out of

1300
01:45:47.359 --> 01:45:51.760
my depth. I didn't feel self conscious. We just had

1301
01:45:51.840 --> 01:45:56.359
fun and I probably never laughed as much as I

1302
01:45:56.439 --> 01:46:01.520
did then. That's the first time I'd laughed. It's almost

1303
01:46:01.560 --> 01:46:05.439
like the first time I felt free, really without restrictions

1304
01:46:05.479 --> 01:46:09.399
of I suppose adults in a way, and brothers, so

1305
01:46:09.439 --> 01:46:11.920
they didn't have any known people around and I could

1306
01:46:12.000 --> 01:46:18.279
just be myself without I don't know, there was I

1307
01:46:18.319 --> 01:46:20.279
don't know how to explain it. It was just nice.

1308
01:46:20.600 --> 01:46:25.800
It was so nice. I loved it, and I'm going

1309
01:46:25.880 --> 01:46:29.000
to go because Vinnie started barking. A few doors, Bear slammed,

1310
01:46:29.039 --> 01:46:33.399
and music's gone up downstairs. So I realized I haven't

1311
01:46:33.520 --> 01:46:38.319
really gone in depth about talking about being boring, hospital,

1312
01:46:38.920 --> 01:46:46.960
boring objects and stuff. I attempted it. So give me

1313
01:46:47.479 --> 01:46:49.760
two out of ten. Please give me a even know

1314
01:46:49.760 --> 01:46:52.239
if it's a low mark, give me a low mark.

1315
01:46:52.319 --> 01:46:58.359
I don't mind. So thank you for listening. Remember to

1316
01:46:58.439 --> 01:47:01.159
be kind to yourself, because you do deserve to be

1317
01:47:01.239 --> 01:47:05.640
happy and be gentle with yourself. You deserve to feel safe,

1318
01:47:07.079 --> 01:47:07.640
lots of love.

1319
01:47:10.760 --> 01:47:11.000
Bye.

1320
01:47:17.399 --> 01:47:31.920
Relax in a more deep and meaningful way, maybe in

1321
01:47:32.039 --> 01:47:37.520
a way that can not just allow you to feel

1322
01:47:38.960 --> 01:47:48.039
calmer now and throughout the time we spend together here,

1323
01:47:50.199 --> 01:47:55.840
not just relaxed at the end of the recording when

1324
01:47:55.920 --> 01:48:02.560
it's finished and you can enjoy that sense of comfort

1325
01:48:02.760 --> 01:48:17.640
and peace, but also I think it would be nice

1326
01:48:17.800 --> 01:48:37.520
to have those feelings of relaxation continue for longer after

1327
01:48:37.680 --> 01:48:48.199
the recording has ended, so that you can still benefit

1328
01:48:51.119 --> 01:48:58.359
from listening to my voice, maybe in a few hours time,

1329
01:49:00.279 --> 01:49:14.279
perhaps tomorrow, and then by listening regularly, especially if you find,

1330
01:49:15.600 --> 01:49:19.159
like some people do and myself as well, I sometimes

1331
01:49:19.199 --> 01:49:25.479
I find one particular recording that really resonates with me,

1332
01:49:29.840 --> 01:49:32.199
and I just listen to it over and over again

1333
01:49:34.520 --> 01:49:47.520
every morning, every evening. There was this recording from We're

1334
01:49:47.560 --> 01:49:52.159
going back to about nineteen ninety nine. It was it

1335
01:49:52.279 --> 01:49:57.279
wasn't hypnosis, but it was a guided visualizations. It kind

1336
01:49:57.319 --> 01:50:04.359
of was hypnosis, really, and I managed to find it

1337
01:50:04.479 --> 01:50:08.359
again and it still has the same effect on me.

1338
01:50:11.000 --> 01:50:20.720
And part of it was the person's voice relaxed me,

1339
01:50:24.760 --> 01:50:31.359
just felt so peaceful, and I'd look forward to listening

1340
01:50:31.960 --> 01:50:43.800
to her in the morning and in the evening, and

1341
01:50:44.359 --> 01:50:53.479
I knew before even pressing the play button that since

1342
01:50:53.560 --> 01:50:57.920
I've done that, pressed the play button. This is in

1343
01:50:58.039 --> 01:51:12.600
the days of CD players press the play button. I fact,

1344
01:51:12.640 --> 01:51:16.600
it might have even been a tape tape recorder. I'd

1345
01:51:16.720 --> 01:51:26.399
lie down on the bed and then even without necessarily

1346
01:51:27.600 --> 01:51:38.239
listening to her words because I had them memorized. Really,

1347
01:51:42.960 --> 01:51:48.800
it was as if my body knew exactly what to do,

1348
01:51:53.720 --> 01:52:15.720
and the muscles just almost winning automatic relaxation, and I

1349
01:52:15.880 --> 01:52:29.800
remember my mind would slow down. Now. Now, I was

1350
01:52:30.039 --> 01:52:37.119
listening to this recording in the early days of learning hypnosis,

1351
01:52:39.840 --> 01:52:47.560
and long before I ever made any videos or audio

1352
01:52:47.720 --> 01:52:52.279
recordings myself, because I didn't start doing that till two

1353
01:52:52.520 --> 01:53:08.520
thousand and six, but I knew, I knew how helpful

1354
01:53:10.399 --> 01:53:21.920
I found being able to just let go, to have

1355
01:53:22.159 --> 01:53:35.000
that trust in the person that I'm listening to, knowing

1356
01:53:35.119 --> 01:53:42.960
that it's going to be just as relaxing, if not

1357
01:53:43.199 --> 01:53:52.479
more so. Each time you hear my voice, you may

1358
01:53:52.560 --> 01:54:03.920
feel the same. Some people people have been listening to

1359
01:54:04.079 --> 01:54:17.880
me for over a decade, maybe not solidly, obviously not

1360
01:54:18.000 --> 01:54:24.279
twenty four hours a day, but maybe people come back.

1361
01:54:26.159 --> 01:54:39.960
Some people maybe listen every day. That's something that I

1362
01:54:41.279 --> 01:54:57.239
do which you may not realize by listening, is when

1363
01:54:57.560 --> 01:55:13.000
I record these recordings. Now, for example, I also am

1364
01:55:13.279 --> 01:55:24.159
affected by the words that I say. So if I

1365
01:55:27.119 --> 01:55:34.479
said to you, focus on your feet, notice your feet relaxing,

1366
01:55:37.960 --> 01:55:45.680
I will be focusing on my feet. I will be

1367
01:55:46.000 --> 01:56:04.039
noticing my feet relaxing. If I said, focus on your hands,

1368
01:56:06.880 --> 01:56:16.359
and maybe notice the difference between each hand, Perhaps notice

1369
01:56:16.479 --> 01:56:22.239
the the air in the room, the temperature of the

1370
01:56:22.319 --> 01:56:34.640
room on the backs of your hands. You may start

1371
01:56:34.760 --> 01:56:39.319
to notice what almost feels like a very light breeze,

1372
01:56:43.199 --> 01:56:47.239
even though there may not be any type of breeze

1373
01:56:47.520 --> 01:56:48.119
at all.

1374
01:56:49.680 --> 01:56:51.079
Where you are right now.

1375
01:56:59.399 --> 01:57:09.399
And as you, you become aware of your hands. I'm

1376
01:57:09.600 --> 01:57:23.680
also aware of how relaxed my hands our feeling now

1377
01:57:38.479 --> 01:57:44.319
and when it comes to potentially drifting off to sleep,

1378
01:57:45.399 --> 01:57:57.960
which may be the reason you're listening. I also feel

1379
01:57:58.199 --> 01:58:12.359
drowsy when I make these recordings. I also notice my

1380
01:58:12.680 --> 01:58:28.960
mind drifting. In fact, at times I've actually fallen asleep

1381
01:58:34.600 --> 01:58:48.760
without even noticing. And then I carry on talking. And

1382
01:58:48.880 --> 01:58:54.279
it's only where I listen back to do the editing,

1383
01:58:58.079 --> 01:59:04.159
I hear snoring, and I think I don't remember snoring.

1384
01:59:07.439 --> 01:59:14.239
I remember talking. This snoring was a pig turned up.

1385
01:59:18.319 --> 01:59:25.680
That's why I sound like when I snaw. How I

1386
01:59:25.760 --> 01:59:39.199
get really into the whole experience. I don't know how

1387
01:59:39.359 --> 01:59:48.600
you feel. How relaxed do you feel in your feet,

1388
01:59:51.720 --> 02:00:14.600
how relaxed you feel in your hands. I have noticed

1389
02:00:17.199 --> 02:00:33.439
more and more that the more relaxed, deeper level of

1390
02:00:33.680 --> 02:00:50.960
comfort you feel, the easier your breathing becomes. It's almost

1391
02:00:51.319 --> 02:01:11.640
like that additional must relaxation. So this allows you the

1392
02:01:11.760 --> 02:01:38.159
breve easier without necessarily focusing on your breath. However, being

1393
02:01:38.239 --> 02:02:07.880
able to notice the ease in which you breathe so naturally,

1394
02:02:22.560 --> 02:02:57.840
you breathe so very easily and smoothly. Whenever I imagine

1395
02:03:05.239 --> 02:03:21.279
my breathing improving. When I've got my eyes closed, I

1396
02:03:21.560 --> 02:03:34.960
tend to visualize a beautiful field with trees and flowers

1397
02:03:41.800 --> 02:04:14.800
producing all that life giving oxygen. It feels nice too,

1398
02:04:16.399 --> 02:04:35.319
if nothing else, just taking some time away from everything,

1399
02:04:46.640 --> 02:05:19.159
enjoying that feeling of be yes serenity with a joyful heart.

1400
02:05:44.520 --> 02:06:10.039
Time seems to just drip by, so very slowly, relaxed,

1401
02:06:15.920 --> 02:06:55.079
so deeply peaceful, completely unattached to any thoughts whatsoever in

1402
02:06:55.239 --> 02:07:59.600
this moment, completely free, noticing that your mind has slowed down.

1403
02:08:07.920 --> 02:08:54.600
Slowed down because nothing really requires your attention. You can

1404
02:08:54.880 --> 02:09:12.119
enjoy physical sensations of allowing the stress rip out of

1405
02:09:12.239 --> 02:09:31.880
your body, to appear out of every part of your

1406
02:09:31.920 --> 02:09:56.720
body and being released from your brain. In your mind

1407
02:10:15.399 --> 02:10:59.279
slowly but surely, the muscles se les relax x r

1408
02:11:00.319 --> 02:11:42.720
MHM so very deeply, relacts so deeply, and the feelings,

1409
02:11:45.359 --> 02:12:10.199
the pleasant feelings in your arms and shoulders, deepening each

1410
02:12:10.680 --> 02:12:48.640
part of your body further and deeper and deeper. Noticing

1411
02:12:51.960 --> 02:13:18.720
the feelings in the back of your neck, feelings in

1412
02:13:18.880 --> 02:14:08.239
your wrists, muscles in front of your body. I also

1413
02:14:18.199 --> 02:14:57.439
feeling peaceful, deeply there's a sense of peace spreads through

1414
02:14:59.000 --> 02:15:36.760
your fairy or even when you focus on your mind,

1415
02:15:48.680 --> 02:16:35.239
your mind becomes eve and slower. Yoh yeen, deep relaxing,

1416
02:16:59.079 --> 02:17:36.959
so fair, be slow your stomach, he's fall in your stomach,

1417
02:17:59.120 --> 02:18:23.920
he'll back. Yeah. Notice Notice how relaxed you'd now fear

1418
02:18:33.120 --> 02:19:05.639
in the hole of your back. Your spy from your

1419
02:19:05.760 --> 02:19:10.520
brain all the way down the middle of your back,

1420
02:19:13.799 --> 02:19:38.639
sending and receiving millions of messages every day, deep comfort, increasing.

1421
02:19:48.479 --> 02:20:54.799
Deeply relaxed your knees, spreading these signals down a spine

1422
02:20:54.959 --> 02:21:18.760
or cord davery part of your body, your shins and

1423
02:21:18.879 --> 02:21:20.239
your calf muscles.

1424
02:21:47.440 --> 02:22:16.159
We are outbursts feelings of peace and tranquility spreading through

1425
02:22:16.360 --> 02:22:33.680
your body, tips of your toes, to your eyes, your fingers,

1426
02:22:38.040 --> 02:23:24.040
all the way to your lower back. Lettinger reatinker peace,

1427
02:23:39.879 --> 02:24:05.559
drifting mind, just wounding away, happy to.

1428
02:24:05.799 --> 02:24:10.639
Let go, let go.

1429
02:24:15.479 --> 02:25:16.079
Completely, let go, so tranquil the whole body, enjoying a

1430
02:25:16.360 --> 02:27:38.120
sensor letting go, he even more pece enjoy the space,

1431
02:27:40.559 --> 02:27:45.879
this space of peace.

1432
02:27:49.159 --> 02:30:11.399
And safety, so fury he relaxed, lessing God. Maybe we

1433
02:30:11.600 --> 02:30:12.159
can just.

1434
02:30:15.040 --> 02:30:23.840
Focus on the different parts of your body, just to

1435
02:30:24.159 --> 02:31:52.959
notice your forehead and your eyes future, so Louise, noticing

1436
02:31:53.200 --> 02:34:01.680
the sense of complete freedom, absolute freedom, presta peace, for energy, peace,

1437
02:34:02.399 --> 02:35:17.120
to breathe so much easier lest you may have or

1438
02:35:17.280 --> 02:36:18.040
may not have noticed your mind drifting peaceful, moveingly, even

1439
02:36:18.399 --> 02:36:42.959
more deeply in the direction of total blissful peace, blissful

1440
02:36:43.239 --> 02:38:46.040
peace est total peace. Colm so calm, letting go.

1441
02:39:10.920 --> 02:39:13.399
Peace with mind.

1442
02:39:22.760 --> 02:40:26.959
Relaxed forty so relaxed, so relaxed. Your body feels almost invisible,

1443
02:40:42.159 --> 02:41:44.479
so very relaxed. I'm peaceful, so peace real liquor sweet, peaceful,

1444
02:41:50.319 --> 02:42:06.520
so fair. And you could start to notice that you

1445
02:42:08.040 --> 02:42:19.360
are feeling more relaxed, even though I've not purposely focused

1446
02:42:19.760 --> 02:42:27.879
your mind upon that sense of physical comfort that is

1447
02:42:28.120 --> 02:42:37.399
growing within you throughout your body, and your mind starts

1448
02:42:37.479 --> 02:42:47.000
to slow down, And that could be almost in recognition

1449
02:42:47.600 --> 02:43:01.440
of I guess my speech not being particularly fast, and

1450
02:43:01.639 --> 02:43:03.680
things just generally.

1451
02:43:04.959 --> 02:43:05.840
Feel calmer.

1452
02:43:09.360 --> 02:43:17.319
Just by listening to my voice, you give yourself an

1453
02:43:17.399 --> 02:43:25.319
opportunity to take a break from the day, take a

1454
02:43:25.440 --> 02:43:33.079
break from your life as it is, and to give

1455
02:43:33.120 --> 02:43:41.239
yourself a rest, giving yourself permission to take some time

1456
02:43:41.360 --> 02:43:48.799
off and to allow your body to relax and allow

1457
02:43:49.040 --> 02:43:59.319
your mind to slow down, which in turn releases the

1458
02:43:59.520 --> 02:44:10.120
tension any stresses that you had in your body. It's

1459
02:44:10.159 --> 02:44:14.719
almost as if the parts of your body just open up,

1460
02:44:16.079 --> 02:44:27.680
allowing the negativity out and at the same time replacing

1461
02:44:28.559 --> 02:44:38.079
that negativity with positive heathing energy, which then fills your

1462
02:44:38.159 --> 02:44:49.959
body up and your mind to also starts to appreciate

1463
02:44:50.840 --> 02:45:09.200
those feelings of increasing confidence, an almost uplifting feeling, positive healing,

1464
02:45:12.399 --> 02:45:20.959
an energy that spreads through your body like a wave

1465
02:45:23.280 --> 02:45:35.399
of comfort, and all this comes, and just allowing yourself

1466
02:45:38.239 --> 02:45:43.440
a few minutes, maybe half an hour, however long you

1467
02:45:43.559 --> 02:45:56.120
want it to be, to just rest and allow your

1468
02:45:56.239 --> 02:46:07.520
mind and your body allmost reset itself to the settings

1469
02:46:07.680 --> 02:46:23.239
of comfort and relaxation, calmness, which allows more room for

1470
02:46:24.680 --> 02:46:36.639
feelings of pleasure and happiness to move around your body

1471
02:46:38.479 --> 02:46:44.920
and into your mind, almost as if your mind and

1472
02:46:45.040 --> 02:46:56.559
your body are sinking together, almost mirroring each other, with

1473
02:46:57.000 --> 02:47:08.559
that growing positive activity and calmness. And it feels nice.

1474
02:47:10.959 --> 02:47:16.959
It really does feel nice to know that you are

1475
02:47:17.040 --> 02:47:27.200
the one that has allowed yourself to feel more comfort

1476
02:47:30.440 --> 02:47:43.879
and to experience more of this deep relaxation spreading throughout

1477
02:47:44.040 --> 02:47:56.239
your body. And as I focus on each part of

1478
02:47:56.360 --> 02:48:05.840
your body. You can notice is that that part becomes

1479
02:48:08.120 --> 02:48:18.520
even more relaxed just by focusing on it. It becomes

1480
02:48:18.719 --> 02:48:31.840
even more calm and comfortable, just by focusing. And as

1481
02:48:31.920 --> 02:48:39.959
I move down your body, starting at your head, the

1482
02:48:40.120 --> 02:48:48.079
parts that you've already focused on will continue to relax deeply,

1483
02:48:50.840 --> 02:48:56.920
and those parts that we've not yet focused on were

1484
02:48:57.040 --> 02:49:08.799
just automatically release any remaining tension in anticipation of even

1485
02:49:09.239 --> 02:49:21.799
more comfort about to come. Now, I'm going to start

1486
02:49:21.879 --> 02:49:28.920
by focusing on your forehead. Just being aware of the

1487
02:49:29.200 --> 02:49:39.479
feelings of your forehead and any background sounds like mister

1488
02:49:39.719 --> 02:49:44.680
Herbert the pigeon can just allow you to feel even

1489
02:49:44.840 --> 02:49:54.840
more relaxed. Just means you're in the moment. This isn't

1490
02:49:55.319 --> 02:50:03.200
this isn't a sterile environment. This is the world. I

1491
02:50:03.360 --> 02:50:10.760
live in the countryside, so there's lots of nature sounds around.

1492
02:50:16.120 --> 02:50:21.200
So as you focus on your forehead, just notice how

1493
02:50:21.280 --> 02:50:31.280
it becomes even more relaxed as you focus only on

1494
02:50:31.479 --> 02:50:41.040
my voice and that part of your body. Moving down

1495
02:50:41.280 --> 02:50:53.799
to your eyes, focusing on your eyes, noticing how your

1496
02:50:53.879 --> 02:51:01.680
eyelids feel so heavy yet so light at the same time,

1497
02:51:05.079 --> 02:51:15.719
and all the muscles around your eyes relaxing completely, moving

1498
02:51:15.879 --> 02:51:23.040
your focus down to your mouth, your lips, your tongue,

1499
02:51:24.239 --> 02:51:32.200
your teeth, and your gumbs, the whole of your mouth relaxing,

1500
02:51:35.719 --> 02:51:45.959
calm and loose. As you focus now on your jaw,

1501
02:51:49.000 --> 02:51:52.559
not just a part of your jaw near your mouth,

1502
02:51:53.559 --> 02:51:57.799
your chin, but all the way up the side of

1503
02:51:57.879 --> 02:52:04.559
your face to your is the hole of your jaw

1504
02:52:07.200 --> 02:52:34.319
feeding more relaxed and calm. Focusing on your neck, the

1505
02:52:34.440 --> 02:52:41.959
front of your neck and your throat relaxing and loose

1506
02:52:42.680 --> 02:52:52.280
and calm. The sides of your neck, the right and

1507
02:52:52.559 --> 02:53:05.120
left side of your neck relax and loose and calm.

1508
02:53:11.520 --> 02:53:18.200
And now the back of your neck, focusing on the

1509
02:53:18.479 --> 02:53:28.879
back of your neck, letting go of any tension that

1510
02:53:29.079 --> 02:53:37.959
may have been there before, and enjoying that sense of

1511
02:53:38.959 --> 02:53:49.600
increasing comfort and release that you can experience in the

1512
02:53:49.760 --> 02:54:02.000
back of your neck. Moving down your back and moving

1513
02:54:02.239 --> 02:54:06.600
either side of your spine right from the top of

1514
02:54:06.680 --> 02:54:12.200
your back all the way down to the bottom of

1515
02:54:12.319 --> 02:54:29.280
your back, down to your lower back. And as you

1516
02:54:29.520 --> 02:54:36.840
move up and down your spine, you can feel the

1517
02:54:37.040 --> 02:54:52.079
muscles either side of your spine relaxing even more. And

1518
02:54:52.239 --> 02:54:58.920
as those muscles relax, that sense of comfort starts to

1519
02:54:59.159 --> 02:55:09.559
spread outwards from your spine into both sides of your back,

1520
02:55:13.360 --> 02:55:17.040
the top of your back, the middle, and your lower back.

1521
02:55:20.600 --> 02:55:27.719
And as you scan gently and slowly up and down

1522
02:55:27.920 --> 02:55:32.959
your back, there's the muscles in the top of your

1523
02:55:33.079 --> 02:55:43.000
back relax and become looser. The muscles in the middle

1524
02:55:43.079 --> 02:55:50.360
of your back also seem to just almost divide from

1525
02:55:50.440 --> 02:56:03.840
each other, separating and almost melting. And in your lower

1526
02:56:03.959 --> 02:56:14.639
back it seems to be an extra special feeling of

1527
02:56:14.879 --> 02:56:26.879
comfort that spreads into your hips. Sit down your lower back,

1528
02:56:27.200 --> 02:56:35.200
into your hips, into the area where your cosicks are,

1529
02:56:38.760 --> 02:56:44.959
and into your buttocks, and all those muscles that spread

1530
02:56:47.719 --> 02:56:57.440
from your lower back into your hip area start to melt,

1531
02:57:01.879 --> 02:57:14.399
start to really let go, and even nowhere about to

1532
02:57:14.879 --> 02:57:21.600
focus on your shoulders, your back and your spine will

1533
02:57:21.680 --> 02:57:42.920
continue to let go, continue to relax so calmly, and

1534
02:57:43.000 --> 02:57:48.079
as you focus on your shoulders, you may notice that

1535
02:57:48.200 --> 02:58:19.600
they're already feeling really loose, already feeding, calm and fearing.

1536
02:58:23.840 --> 02:58:32.159
Those muscles then move from your neck into your shoulders

1537
02:58:38.719 --> 02:59:08.159
feel so soft and gentle, so smooth and calm, and

1538
02:59:08.319 --> 02:59:21.159
the feeling in your shoulders seens to spread deep into

1539
02:59:21.280 --> 02:59:31.680
your shoulders that sense of relaxation, not just traveling deeply

1540
02:59:32.079 --> 02:59:49.040
into your muscles, but also relaxing the bones and moving

1541
02:59:49.120 --> 02:59:57.959
all away to underneath your arms, relaxing that whole area

1542
02:59:58.159 --> 03:00:07.920
between the tops of your shoulder and underneath your arms healing.

1543
03:00:13.360 --> 03:00:26.280
You feel so relaxed and comfortable in your shoulders. Who

1544
03:00:26.600 --> 03:00:48.479
sends that deep healing message into your arms? And you

1545
03:00:48.639 --> 03:00:53.879
may feel almost as if your arms are not even

1546
03:00:54.120 --> 03:01:17.760
there because they're so relaxed, so deeply relaxed, so so calm,

1547
03:01:32.879 --> 03:01:54.000
so pose. The feeling spreading all the way down your

1548
03:01:54.440 --> 03:02:23.479
arms to elbows, including your elbows circumforts spreads or away

1549
03:02:26.200 --> 03:02:41.200
into your wrists, your forearments and your wrists so heavy,

1550
03:02:44.840 --> 03:03:26.239
yet at the same time slight and gentle. Frek say

1551
03:03:28.600 --> 03:04:07.239
now on your hands, my hands, so peaceful in your hands.

1552
03:04:25.760 --> 03:04:44.760
There's a sense of real peace. It just seems to

1553
03:04:48.760 --> 03:04:53.440
I feel so familiar.

1554
03:04:56.239 --> 03:06:06.280
When your hands relax deep. Yes, you things, you things, silence.

1555
03:06:34.680 --> 03:07:07.600
You thing it tips h Moving your attention to the

1556
03:07:07.840 --> 03:07:38.280
front of your body, so comfortable. Moving your focus to

1557
03:07:38.319 --> 03:08:59.719
your legs. Why my sous.

1558
03:09:01.399 --> 03:09:20.239
In your thighs, your knees.

1559
03:09:23.879 --> 03:10:01.280
So relaxed, A calf muscles and just chins, A crazy,

1560
03:10:01.520 --> 03:12:22.239
they the fathing your feet, sir, peaceful, so calm, so peaceful,

1561
03:12:29.360 --> 03:13:23.159
so calm, so peaceful, so calm, so peace fall RelA

1562
03:13:24.079 --> 03:13:48.159
sin peace fall, so calm, loving that deep relaxation, to

1563
03:13:48.440 --> 03:14:05.479
spread your chest, in your stomach, so relam letting go

1564
03:14:07.680 --> 03:14:26.520
of everything. So I'm gonna start counting down now from

1565
03:14:26.600 --> 03:14:35.280
twenty down to one. You can imagine in a way

1566
03:14:35.360 --> 03:14:41.440
it's like just walking down some steps and each step

1567
03:14:41.799 --> 03:14:48.000
or twenty steps, and each step represents a level of comfort.

1568
03:14:51.479 --> 03:15:06.879
Each step represents a deepening of that comfort, and the

1569
03:15:07.079 --> 03:15:12.799
firvies you walk down those steps, that the deeper and

1570
03:15:13.000 --> 03:16:30.200
more relaxed you feel. So starting with number twenty twenty, nineteen, eighteen,

1571
03:17:08.120 --> 03:23:01.719
seventeen sixteen U fifteen fourteen four see too well five

1572
03:24:12.239 --> 03:28:20.520
five nine eight seven.

1573
03:28:27.879 --> 03:30:13.920
Si five.

1574
03:31:32.719 --> 03:36:07.680
Four one. And now as you focus on your eyes,

1575
03:36:17.280 --> 03:36:28.959
We're gonna count down from ten dout one, focusing just

1576
03:36:29.239 --> 03:36:37.159
on your eyes, your eyelids, the muscles around your eyes,

1577
03:36:40.239 --> 03:36:48.879
your eye walls themselves, a whole area that makes up

1578
03:36:49.000 --> 03:37:02.200
your eye. And as we count down.

1579
03:37:02.200 --> 03:37:03.040
From ten.

1580
03:37:04.799 --> 03:37:17.239
Down to one, whilst focus in on your eyes, you'll

1581
03:37:17.639 --> 03:37:31.959
become twice is relaxed with each number counting down, and

1582
03:37:32.200 --> 03:37:39.399
you may find the all you want to do is

1583
03:37:39.920 --> 03:37:49.159
just drift off to sleep. And if that's what you want,

1584
03:37:52.200 --> 03:38:05.159
then just allow yourself to do that. Now, focusing on

1585
03:38:05.319 --> 03:38:12.680
your eyes, I'm going to begin counting down from ten

1586
03:38:13.040 --> 03:38:18.520
down to one right now.

1587
03:38:27.120 --> 03:38:54.239
Ten nine.

1588
03:39:28.239 --> 03:40:30.079
Eight seven.

1589
03:40:42.920 --> 03:47:40.879
S five four three two one. So counted down from

1590
03:47:40.959 --> 03:47:58.799
ten to one ten nine eight seven six five four

1591
03:48:01.719 --> 03:48:16.479
three two one. And maybe that was a bit too

1592
03:48:16.639 --> 03:48:20.680
quick in order to relax. Maybe it's a bit too

1593
03:48:21.000 --> 03:48:27.000
fast for you to notice the calming of your body,

1594
03:48:30.239 --> 03:48:34.799
maybe even a little bit of pressure there, Like you're

1595
03:48:34.840 --> 03:48:37.600
counting down from ten to one. Would you expect me

1596
03:48:37.760 --> 03:48:43.319
to do man, expect me to stick go floppy just because.

1597
03:48:43.040 --> 03:48:44.079
You're counting down.

1598
03:48:49.680 --> 03:48:52.959
We could try it again, but this time I go

1599
03:48:53.040 --> 03:49:00.120
a bit slower this time, as you focus on the

1600
03:49:00.239 --> 03:49:04.360
whole of your body before we focus on your legs.

1601
03:49:06.799 --> 03:49:15.959
Just notice how your body does start to feel more

1602
03:49:16.399 --> 03:49:35.399
relaxed with every number that I count down ten nine

1603
03:49:41.239 --> 03:51:10.319
eight seven six five four three two one. And just

1604
03:51:10.520 --> 03:51:16.479
notice how how you feel, generally, how your body feels.

1605
03:51:23.120 --> 03:51:31.399
It's not necessarily even about counting down from ten to one.

1606
03:51:34.399 --> 03:51:47.799
It's that space that you have that space between being

1607
03:51:51.399 --> 03:52:02.959
active physically or mentally to just sitting or lying down

1608
03:52:03.280 --> 03:52:08.120
and just being there, not doing anything, not saying anything,

1609
03:52:08.360 --> 03:52:14.879
or needing to think about anything. So it opens up

1610
03:52:14.920 --> 03:52:19.360
a space, you know, a bit of a space, a gap.

1611
03:52:25.600 --> 03:52:29.120
And the more I cam down from ten to one,

1612
03:52:30.319 --> 03:52:38.399
the bigger that gap becomes. So there's that gap of calmness,

1613
03:52:39.799 --> 03:52:55.479
of comfort, relaxation. It's a nice feeling, and it moves

1614
03:52:57.040 --> 03:53:06.959
those stresses or discomforts physically or emotionally, moves them away.

1615
03:53:13.719 --> 03:53:26.479
Allows you to just slow down, someone to count again

1616
03:53:26.559 --> 03:53:32.760
from ten down to one, and notice that gap widening,

1617
03:53:34.959 --> 03:53:39.360
the gap, And as it widens, it's almost like the

1618
03:53:41.120 --> 03:53:58.639
stress and attention falls into the gap and gives you

1619
03:53:58.760 --> 03:55:05.639
that distance, that space. Now ten nine, eight, seven, six, five, four,

1620
03:55:23.959 --> 03:56:17.559
three two one. Now, how does your body feel now?

1621
03:56:30.280 --> 03:56:45.520
Can you notice do you feeling calmer, the feeling more

1622
03:56:45.959 --> 03:57:13.360
relaxed as we now focus on your legs, just your legs.

1623
03:57:29.360 --> 03:57:49.479
We're just gonna start with focusing on your thighs. Of course,

1624
03:57:49.600 --> 03:57:54.479
it's not the most exciting thing to be doing because

1625
03:57:57.920 --> 03:58:00.600
I'm sure like most of your body, there's not a

1626
03:58:00.719 --> 03:58:13.120
lot going on right now. Just focusing on the whole

1627
03:58:13.239 --> 03:58:19.680
of your thighs, the tops of your thighs, the sides

1628
03:58:19.799 --> 03:58:26.799
of your thighs, the bottoms of your thighs, your outer thighs,

1629
03:58:26.879 --> 03:58:31.799
and your inner thighs. Basically the whole of your thigh

1630
03:58:31.920 --> 03:58:40.680
that leads into your hip and it goes down to

1631
03:58:40.920 --> 03:58:54.959
your knee joints. Now, this is a big area. It's

1632
03:58:54.959 --> 03:59:00.479
a very heavy area, it's very strong. Probably the longest

1633
03:59:01.440 --> 03:59:14.600
muscles in your body are in your thighs. But I

1634
03:59:14.719 --> 03:59:23.000
don't think we perhaps give enough attention to our thighs.

1635
03:59:28.959 --> 03:59:39.719
Perhaps we don't acknowledge how important our thighs are to

1636
03:59:39.879 --> 04:00:00.520
our lives, how much they actually do for us all

1637
04:00:00.600 --> 04:00:11.040
through our lives. And it may seem to sound really weird,

1638
04:00:11.159 --> 04:00:19.559
but I think that all of our body parts, especially

1639
04:00:19.680 --> 04:00:27.280
our thighs, need some TLC, a bit of love shown,

1640
04:00:28.280 --> 04:00:46.239
a bit of acknowledgement. I thank you gratitude for what

1641
04:00:46.399 --> 04:00:47.879
our thighs do for us.

1642
04:00:54.440 --> 04:00:59.959
And I know this may sound a bit strange. Maybe

1643
04:01:00.079 --> 04:01:01.399
you think, why am I.

1644
04:01:02.120 --> 04:01:04.920
Surely I should be out in the garden hugging a

1645
04:01:05.040 --> 04:01:13.399
tree or something. Well, it's hard to set a microphone

1646
04:01:13.520 --> 04:01:16.520
up on a tree. That's why I'm doing this indoors

1647
04:01:16.559 --> 04:01:20.040
otherwise I would be outside hugging a tree. Now I

1648
04:01:20.159 --> 04:01:28.920
can't see the television from the tree. If you move

1649
04:01:29.000 --> 04:01:38.319
down to your knees gaining such an important part, and

1650
04:01:38.920 --> 04:01:43.399
I think we don't necessarily I'll speak for myself here,

1651
04:01:45.840 --> 04:01:50.959
I don't necessarily appreciate all that my knees do for

1652
04:01:51.079 --> 04:01:56.920
me until I have a problem with my knee. It's

1653
04:01:57.000 --> 04:02:02.600
occasionally if I maybe i'll lash it or it's aching

1654
04:02:02.760 --> 04:02:09.159
for some reason. It's then that I realize how much

1655
04:02:09.280 --> 04:02:12.920
it does. You know, the benefit of being able to

1656
04:02:13.879 --> 04:02:23.079
use my legs without any kind of physical discomfort is

1657
04:02:23.920 --> 04:02:32.639
a beautiful thing that's possibly not appreciated until it's temporarily removed.

1658
04:02:33.760 --> 04:02:40.760
You know that's comfort. But as you focus on your knees,

1659
04:02:42.920 --> 04:02:48.559
regardless of how your knees feel, you can have that

1660
04:02:48.840 --> 04:02:55.000
sense of gratitude and love to your needs for all

1661
04:02:55.120 --> 04:03:07.319
that they do for you. And you can still have

1662
04:03:07.479 --> 04:03:11.639
that attention on your thighs and maybe notice how your

1663
04:03:11.760 --> 04:03:23.639
thighs feel. Maybe you've noticed that they are relaxing more

1664
04:03:25.440 --> 04:03:37.040
deeply as you focus now on the bottoms of your legs,

1665
04:03:37.520 --> 04:03:42.879
your shins and your calf muscles and the bones between

1666
04:03:43.120 --> 04:03:49.280
your knees. And your feet incorporate, and of course your

1667
04:03:49.360 --> 04:04:02.440
ankles so important. Anyone that's had even like the slightest

1668
04:04:02.920 --> 04:04:08.920
sprain of an ankle knows how how much we take

1669
04:04:10.280 --> 04:04:19.079
our ankles for granted. And it's kind of strange in

1670
04:04:19.159 --> 04:04:24.319
a way when you think that. You know, logically, our

1671
04:04:24.399 --> 04:04:27.840
wrists are a lot thinner than the rest of our arms,

1672
04:04:29.000 --> 04:04:32.479
which is okay, it doesn't I can't see any problem

1673
04:04:32.520 --> 04:04:37.399
with that because we're just picking stuff up. But our

1674
04:04:37.479 --> 04:04:43.319
ankles so much thinner than the rest of our legs,

1675
04:04:49.760 --> 04:04:54.159
and from a physics perspective or logical even it doesn't

1676
04:04:54.239 --> 04:05:00.239
really make sense that all this weight would ultimately be

1677
04:05:01.319 --> 04:05:11.360
resting on your ankles then leading to your feet, that

1678
04:05:11.920 --> 04:05:20.879
thin area, thin bone. Yeah, it does so much great work.

1679
04:05:23.040 --> 04:05:32.559
Supports us, supports our body for a lifetime, helps us

1680
04:05:33.280 --> 04:05:42.600
to balance, helps you to get around and be mobile.

1681
04:05:48.920 --> 04:05:56.760
And there's the calf muscles. Of course, when I was younger,

1682
04:05:57.120 --> 04:06:00.479
I couldn't see the point in calf muscles didn't seem

1683
04:06:00.520 --> 04:06:05.559
to do anything. Okay, if I walked around on tiptoes,

1684
04:06:06.360 --> 04:06:10.200
then my calf muscles get some work. But of course

1685
04:06:10.280 --> 04:06:14.399
that's not true. The calf muscles are being used whenever

1686
04:06:14.479 --> 04:06:26.399
we use her legs and your shins there to protect

1687
04:06:28.399 --> 04:06:37.040
your lower legs, shaped in a way almost as a

1688
04:06:37.120 --> 04:06:49.360
protector for the bone, leading of course to your ankles

1689
04:06:52.760 --> 04:06:59.319
and your feet. But we're not going to focus on

1690
04:06:59.440 --> 04:07:01.520
your feet. We're just going to focus on the legs.

1691
04:07:03.639 --> 04:07:08.239
I realize that now that I've mentioned your feet, it

1692
04:07:08.399 --> 04:07:12.840
prota be focusing on them anyway, So maybe I should

1693
04:07:12.920 --> 04:07:18.879
focus on your feet a little bit. You can have

1694
04:07:19.079 --> 04:07:24.239
them in your awareness the same as you have your

1695
04:07:24.399 --> 04:07:28.639
thighs in your awareness. Even though we haven't been focusing

1696
04:07:29.319 --> 04:07:34.239
on your thighs a few minutes, I've been focusing on

1697
04:07:34.399 --> 04:07:51.600
your ankles, there's still that sensation of comfort in your thighs,

1698
04:07:56.600 --> 04:08:03.920
and this that movement of nagy because the thighs hold

1699
04:08:05.879 --> 04:08:11.159
lots of different sensations. Of course, there's the muscles, the

1700
04:08:11.479 --> 04:08:23.959
big straw muscles that we have in our thighs, But

1701
04:08:24.120 --> 04:08:29.760
the skin on the outside of the thighs, as in

1702
04:08:30.280 --> 04:08:36.040
the outside of all of our body, can be very sensitive,

1703
04:08:39.959 --> 04:08:53.120
sensitive to the touch, sensitive to temperature, and inside your

1704
04:08:53.280 --> 04:09:00.719
thighs the bones, there's the muscle, there's the blood, vessels,

1705
04:09:00.879 --> 04:09:06.680
the arch trees, all this stuff that's inside your thighs,

1706
04:09:11.000 --> 04:09:14.159
and I guess sometimes it'd be nice if you could

1707
04:09:14.200 --> 04:09:19.559
actually put your fingers inside your thighs and a message,

1708
04:09:21.920 --> 04:09:25.479
so you can message on the outside, of course, but

1709
04:09:25.559 --> 04:09:28.680
to be able to get deep into the muscles and

1710
04:09:28.760 --> 04:09:33.879
to be able to just message inside your thighs, message

1711
04:09:33.920 --> 04:09:42.639
in the bones of your leg message in all the veins,

1712
04:09:42.879 --> 04:09:53.079
and just gently healing your thighs, and you could move

1713
04:09:53.280 --> 04:10:00.680
down message and inside your knees, just message in the bones,

1714
04:10:01.639 --> 04:10:08.680
but with healing fingertips, spreading that healing energy deep into

1715
04:10:08.799 --> 04:10:18.200
the joints of your knees. Of course, there's the back

1716
04:10:18.479 --> 04:10:23.399
of your your knee, you know, the inside crease where

1717
04:10:23.440 --> 04:10:30.879
your knee is. It's a very sensitive area. Very it

1718
04:10:30.920 --> 04:10:34.799
feels very nice when you stroke it. That might be

1719
04:10:34.959 --> 04:10:38.920
because it's an area that's not really touched very often.

1720
04:10:40.959 --> 04:10:47.799
It's almost like a hidden part, that crease in your legs.

1721
04:10:47.920 --> 04:10:55.239
It's almost like a part that has a sensitivity which

1722
04:10:55.319 --> 04:11:05.760
is a little bit different. Of course, it's protected by

1723
04:11:05.840 --> 04:11:17.239
your legs. So you can imagine putting your fingers into

1724
04:11:17.360 --> 04:11:27.000
that crease in your legs, that fold in between your legs.

1725
04:11:27.719 --> 04:11:32.360
You can just message with your fingertips. Imagine your fingertips

1726
04:11:32.440 --> 04:11:42.959
going inside, massage in the muscle tissue. You can of

1727
04:11:43.079 --> 04:11:50.159
course feel the bones of your knees heading through your fingertips,

1728
04:11:57.559 --> 04:12:02.840
and then as you go down to your calf muscles.

1729
04:12:03.280 --> 04:12:04.959
Now that's the part I'd like to be able to

1730
04:12:05.799 --> 04:12:13.159
really put my fingertips deep inside my calf muscles, massage

1731
04:12:13.280 --> 04:12:19.319
in every single tissue of that muscle.

1732
04:12:20.520 --> 04:12:22.360
Healing every part.

1733
04:12:28.280 --> 04:12:34.399
And then doing the same for my shins, massage in

1734
04:12:35.239 --> 04:12:42.239
gently stroking the bones, gently stroking them, healing in a

1735
04:12:42.360 --> 04:12:49.479
loving way, because they deserve to be treated as the

1736
04:12:49.639 --> 04:12:53.559
precious bones that they are. Because our legs are so

1737
04:12:53.799 --> 04:12:57.319
precious as in all the other parts of our body,

1738
04:13:00.040 --> 04:13:14.319
more precious of amytual on the planet. When you start

1739
04:13:14.479 --> 04:13:26.399
to think about your legs in this way, it can

1740
04:13:26.639 --> 04:13:36.159
change your perspective. It might sound a bit a bit

1741
04:13:36.399 --> 04:13:41.879
silly to start with the idea of having love for

1742
04:13:42.000 --> 04:13:51.280
your legs, showing appreciation for your thighs, wanting to be

1743
04:13:51.360 --> 04:13:58.760
able to put your hands in your thighs, massage the

1744
04:13:58.959 --> 04:14:04.799
muscles and the bones, and to get your fingers deep

1745
04:14:04.920 --> 04:14:14.680
in there, releasing all tension, just to show how much

1746
04:14:14.799 --> 04:14:22.239
you care about your legs, how much you care for

1747
04:14:23.360 --> 04:14:31.319
what your legs do for you regularly, your knees, your calves,

1748
04:14:32.639 --> 04:14:44.920
your ankles, the strength of your ankles, considering how thin

1749
04:14:45.079 --> 04:14:48.639
they are compared to the rest of your legs, especially

1750
04:14:48.760 --> 04:15:03.399
your thighs. Yeah, they're so strong, so flexible, absolutely amazing things.

1751
04:15:04.680 --> 04:15:14.360
Your ankles are truly a gift because of what they

1752
04:15:14.479 --> 04:15:26.200
do for you, supporting all that weight, regardless of how

1753
04:15:26.360 --> 04:15:30.360
what weight you are, even if you're only eight stone,

1754
04:15:32.479 --> 04:15:39.479
there's still a lot of weight for these little ankles. Now,

1755
04:15:39.520 --> 04:15:47.319
I'm a lot heavier than eight stone double down, Yet

1756
04:15:47.360 --> 04:15:56.360
my ankles support my body all the time. Whether they

1757
04:15:56.440 --> 04:16:00.280
do give off a sigh of relief when I sit down, Yeah,

1758
04:16:01.959 --> 04:16:10.360
that's my whole legs do my feet feet also go

1759
04:16:12.319 --> 04:16:40.040
my toes clap. You're so happy. Your legs really are amazing.

1760
04:16:42.639 --> 04:16:46.280
And I know that talking about talking about your legs

1761
04:16:46.440 --> 04:16:53.040
is probably possibly among the most most boring things you've

1762
04:16:53.079 --> 04:17:02.079
ever heard anyone say. Possibly they're boring on not everything

1763
04:17:02.159 --> 04:17:17.600
I said is true. Your legs are amazing. Your legs

1764
04:17:17.760 --> 04:17:37.280
deserve not just respect, They deserve to relax deeply. They

1765
04:17:37.440 --> 04:17:42.760
deserve to take some time out of the day to

1766
04:17:43.000 --> 04:18:19.120
just let go completely. The legs really can relax. And

1767
04:18:19.239 --> 04:18:23.200
because the legs are so such a most, you know,

1768
04:18:23.440 --> 04:18:29.360
very important part of your body. When you relax your legs,

1769
04:18:29.479 --> 04:18:36.680
the rest of your body also naturally follows in that

1770
04:18:40.440 --> 04:18:51.280
journey of comfort. I can feel it in my hips.

1771
04:18:52.680 --> 04:18:59.760
My hips feel really loose, and also my lower back

1772
04:18:59.879 --> 04:19:06.440
is well. My life back really feels it feels stretched,

1773
04:19:07.559 --> 04:19:10.600
even though I'm just sitting in a chair and there's

1774
04:19:10.719 --> 04:19:15.959
no stretching as far as I'm aware that I'm doing.

1775
04:19:17.000 --> 04:19:19.639
It's almost as if the muscles are just relaxed so

1776
04:19:19.879 --> 04:19:25.799
much that there is a natural stretch as the tension

1777
04:19:26.680 --> 04:19:30.399
has reduced a lot.

1778
04:19:46.799 --> 04:19:49.840
And I'm now going to count down from ten down

1779
04:19:49.920 --> 04:19:56.479
to one, and you can continue.

1780
04:19:57.760 --> 04:20:24.040
To feel wonderfully relaxed. Ten nine, eight, seven, six, five,

1781
04:20:28.639 --> 04:20:56.719
four three two one relax. So I'm just going to

1782
04:20:56.799 --> 04:21:02.159
count down from five down to one. And as a countdown,

1783
04:21:03.479 --> 04:21:08.200
if you just focus on the numbers, just the numbers

1784
04:21:09.879 --> 04:21:18.879
counting down, and notice how you feel in this moment

1785
04:21:20.639 --> 04:21:25.000
as you hear the numbers counting down, knowing that those

1786
04:21:25.159 --> 04:21:38.239
numbers counting down represent you feeling calmer, not just in

1787
04:21:38.319 --> 04:21:46.879
your body, but also relaxing your mind. Just notice how

1788
04:21:46.920 --> 04:21:52.760
you feel there's nothing to do, there's nothing to say,

1789
04:21:53.440 --> 04:22:01.520
there's nothing to think about. Starting with h number five

1790
04:22:10.280 --> 04:22:55.760
four three two one. As you notice the gradual letting

1791
04:22:55.920 --> 04:23:05.280
go the tension in your body, you may also begin

1792
04:23:05.600 --> 04:23:11.559
to notice and be aware of how your mind is

1793
04:23:12.639 --> 04:23:20.479
starting to slow down. This is just a natural thing

1794
04:23:21.000 --> 04:23:28.360
that happens. It's not really a special procedure. It's just

1795
04:23:28.559 --> 04:23:34.799
natural because is your body relaxes, your mind also starts

1796
04:23:34.840 --> 04:23:39.520
to relax. And the more your mind relaxes, the more

1797
04:23:39.559 --> 04:23:44.799
your body relaxes. It's just a continuous circle of relaxation.

1798
04:23:50.879 --> 04:23:59.399
And is that calmness that comes from relative quietness. You know,

1799
04:23:59.520 --> 04:24:05.159
even even if there's background sounds either your side, online,

1800
04:24:06.840 --> 04:24:12.760
it's still going to be quite calm. You know, you

1801
04:24:12.840 --> 04:24:18.040
haven't got the television on, there's no music in the background,

1802
04:24:18.159 --> 04:24:20.799
unless you're listening to the recording with music. Of course,

1803
04:24:25.680 --> 04:24:27.840
you're very likely not going to be sitting in a

1804
04:24:27.959 --> 04:24:31.079
room with other people. Of course you might be, but

1805
04:24:32.360 --> 04:24:35.639
generally it's more ideal if you can do this on

1806
04:24:35.760 --> 04:24:47.040
your own, so no distractions, and when you stop thinking

1807
04:24:47.120 --> 04:25:04.280
about stuff, relaxation automatically rises. A sense of comfort starts

1808
04:25:04.360 --> 04:25:13.120
to grow, and without trying to build it up into

1809
04:25:13.239 --> 04:25:25.360
something fantastical or something magical. This is just a natural process,

1810
04:25:27.680 --> 04:25:38.559
something that's easy to accomplish. In fact, it's almost the

1811
04:25:38.879 --> 04:25:45.600
sense of relaxing completely happens really when you put no

1812
04:25:45.760 --> 04:25:50.319
effort into it. It's not something that you can really force.

1813
04:25:52.959 --> 04:26:02.799
It's something that happens naturally. Part of the process of

1814
04:26:04.440 --> 04:26:16.360
this recording and others is simply two allow you to

1815
04:26:16.559 --> 04:26:31.639
take advantage of this space this time, to just let go,

1816
04:26:34.799 --> 04:26:43.040
to just be here, to be in tune with how

1817
04:26:43.120 --> 04:26:56.520
you feel, yet with the intention of wanting to relax

1818
04:26:56.639 --> 04:27:07.959
deeply and maybe even to fall asleep, depending on what

1819
04:27:08.159 --> 04:27:14.319
it is that you wish for yourself in this moment.

1820
04:27:21.280 --> 04:27:30.639
As we know, relaxing is the majority of the process

1821
04:27:30.799 --> 04:27:35.959
of falling asleep. The actual falling asleep part is the

1822
04:27:36.079 --> 04:27:43.879
tiny bit at the end. The deeper relaxed you become,

1823
04:27:47.840 --> 04:28:05.479
the easier you find yourself drifting. But you can also

1824
04:28:05.680 --> 04:28:15.719
if you choose, stay focused on my voice and really

1825
04:28:16.200 --> 04:28:45.920
enjoy the process gradually relaxing each muscle in your body

1826
04:28:51.000 --> 04:29:20.120
effortlessly and just observing the sensation of letting go completely.

1827
04:29:26.159 --> 04:29:29.840
This time, I'm going to count from six down to

1828
04:29:30.000 --> 04:29:42.840
one and you can notice your mind calming down more

1829
04:29:44.159 --> 04:29:55.840
with each number that you hear me say naturally feeling

1830
04:29:57.879 --> 04:30:57.920
calm and slow, peaceful, six, five, four.

1831
04:31:29.719 --> 04:33:04.200
Three two one, being aware how your mind has.

1832
04:33:04.319 --> 04:33:32.759
Slowed, write down, sinking deeply into relaxation. And as you

1833
04:33:32.959 --> 04:33:41.639
focus on your mind, you may notice that there are

1834
04:33:41.759 --> 04:33:51.919
some thoughts still there, maybe some stubborn thoughts that for

1835
04:33:52.040 --> 04:34:05.159
some reason perhaps need your attention. So what you can

1836
04:34:05.319 --> 04:34:18.639
do is send love to those thoughts. Sprinkle those thoughts

1837
04:34:23.159 --> 04:34:29.080
with love. I all petals from a flower, Just sprinkle

1838
04:34:29.119 --> 04:34:36.200
it over them, petals filled with love towards those thoughts,

1839
04:34:36.799 --> 04:34:43.159
to let those thoughts know that you're not abandoned in them.

1840
04:34:44.599 --> 04:34:45.919
You just need them.

1841
04:34:47.159 --> 04:34:59.159
You require them to just calm down, slow down, quiets down.

1842
04:35:02.799 --> 04:35:03.159
For now.

1843
04:35:11.080 --> 04:35:16.080
So as you focus on those remaining thoughts, as we

1844
04:35:16.240 --> 04:35:21.479
count down this time from seven down to one. With

1845
04:35:21.639 --> 04:35:35.520
each number, just imagine sprinkling those flower petals of love, kindness,

1846
04:35:37.119 --> 04:35:48.959
gratitude over those thoughts, which will allow them to just

1847
04:35:50.400 --> 04:36:05.400
melt away and relax deeply. Of every number, they thoughts

1848
04:36:05.520 --> 04:37:00.720
would become more and more relaxed. Starting with number seven, six, five,

1849
04:37:13.919 --> 04:38:57.479
four three two. What it's you now notice how relaxed,

1850
04:39:01.279 --> 04:39:20.360
your feeling in your body. We're going to focus on

1851
04:39:20.560 --> 04:39:32.400
your hands, because the more relaxed your hands are, the

1852
04:39:32.560 --> 04:39:36.159
more relaxed your body and mind are.

1853
04:39:51.119 --> 04:39:51.439
And this.

1854
04:39:53.279 --> 04:40:03.439
You focus on your hands and your fingers. There's nothing

1855
04:40:03.959 --> 04:40:08.680
needed to be done. There's no clenching of fists or

1856
04:40:09.759 --> 04:40:21.159
dancing the fingers or anything like that. It's just noticing

1857
04:40:22.000 --> 04:40:49.599
and focusing on your hands, noticing how they feel. Because

1858
04:40:49.759 --> 04:40:59.479
the more relaxed do your hands feel, the car may

1859
04:40:59.599 --> 04:41:10.880
of my mind feels, and more comfort you feel throughout

1860
04:41:11.200 --> 04:41:40.479
your body. And gee may have already noticed you mind

1861
04:41:43.799 --> 04:42:11.520
is starting to dress like sense just on your hands

1862
04:42:12.720 --> 04:42:19.680
and fingers, allowing.

1863
04:42:19.680 --> 04:42:21.040
Them to.

1864
04:42:23.479 --> 04:42:34.959
Experience a real deepening of that relaxation in your hands

1865
04:42:35.080 --> 04:43:01.119
and fingers, more and more relaxed. With each number from

1866
04:43:01.319 --> 04:43:13.400
eight down to one, you can almost a few that

1867
04:43:14.240 --> 04:43:24.040
healing and relaxing energy spreading into your hands and fingers,

1868
04:43:27.400 --> 04:43:49.319
becoming year more relaxing with each number year going down

1869
04:43:50.880 --> 04:44:09.599
from eight down to one, drifting twisting again, starting with

1870
04:44:14.200 --> 04:45:04.799
lumber eight as a.

1871
04:45:14.479 --> 04:45:27.520
Usa u.

1872
04:46:04.439 --> 04:46:29.799
F four.

1873
04:46:49.279 --> 04:46:49.520
Three.

1874
04:48:09.319 --> 04:48:18.599
Just being here now, nothing to think about, nothing to do,

1875
04:48:20.240 --> 04:48:34.479
nothing to say, and everything just feels calmer. This is

1876
04:48:35.599 --> 04:48:42.360
your natural state of being. This is how you just

1877
04:48:43.479 --> 04:48:50.400
normally feel when you take away all that other stuff.

1878
04:48:52.439 --> 04:48:53.360
That we add.

1879
04:48:54.959 --> 04:49:06.439
Nothing that stress and worry in overthinking, the anxiety, tension,

1880
04:49:10.720 --> 04:49:12.959
just generally thinking about stuff.

1881
04:49:15.159 --> 04:49:19.080
You take that away, which is what we do. What

1882
04:49:19.240 --> 04:49:20.080
we do now.

1883
04:49:26.400 --> 04:49:37.599
You're left with a real sense of peacefulness which comes

1884
04:49:37.759 --> 04:49:47.119
to you very quickly. This ultimate League is just a feeling,

1885
04:49:51.520 --> 04:49:58.840
a feeling of comfort, almost.

1886
04:49:58.479 --> 04:50:01.040
As if you've gone inside self and you've.

1887
04:50:01.000 --> 04:50:15.639
Found a special place where everything is peaceful, a place

1888
04:50:15.799 --> 04:50:23.680
where you can feel relaxed and your natural sense of comfort,

1889
04:50:26.880 --> 04:50:34.240
a place where you can be you, where you can

1890
04:50:35.000 --> 04:50:41.639
accept yourself with who you are, the place where you're

1891
04:50:41.720 --> 04:50:52.119
not trying to please anybody else ever, a place where

1892
04:50:52.279 --> 04:50:52.840
you can.

1893
04:50:54.439 --> 04:51:03.159
Actually not just love yourself in some ways more importantly,

1894
04:51:03.799 --> 04:51:04.279
you can.

1895
04:51:04.479 --> 04:51:22.000
Like yourself, appreciate who you are, a sense of gratitude.

1896
04:51:25.040 --> 04:51:35.799
See the air all around you. That's also a place

1897
04:51:36.000 --> 04:51:40.880
where you can actually feel.

1898
04:51:42.200 --> 04:51:56.759
The healing energy soaking into your body. Healing energy soaking.

1899
04:51:57.520 --> 04:52:05.119
Into your body, and that healing energy.

1900
04:52:05.240 --> 04:52:15.520
Spreads through your veins, traveling to each and every single

1901
04:52:15.919 --> 04:52:26.400
part of your body. When you start to realize that

1902
04:52:26.639 --> 04:52:28.959
actually that healing.

1903
04:52:28.840 --> 04:52:37.119
Energy, it's not just entered into your brain, it's.

1904
04:52:37.080 --> 04:52:46.680
Become part of your brain, and the spinal fluid.

1905
04:52:48.959 --> 04:52:51.560
Is now mixed. The healing energy.

1906
04:52:56.919 --> 04:53:04.880
Just allow you to feel so much more relaxed and

1907
04:53:05.159 --> 04:53:17.639
healthy in this moment. But also you start to realize

1908
04:53:17.880 --> 04:53:26.360
that actually, what's happening now is that a healing, relaxing

1909
04:53:27.479 --> 04:53:35.360
energy spreading through your body is actually changing your life.

1910
04:53:40.479 --> 04:53:45.599
It's actually changing the way you're going to feel, not

1911
04:53:45.880 --> 04:53:54.919
just now, but tomorrow and the next days. Your health improves,

1912
04:53:58.520 --> 04:54:05.840
not just your physical health, but your mental health. Things

1913
04:54:06.279 --> 04:54:11.479
that used to bother you in the past, for some reason,

1914
04:54:12.720 --> 04:54:20.240
no longer have the effect that they used to because

1915
04:54:20.400 --> 04:54:22.639
something has changed.

1916
04:54:23.759 --> 04:54:25.000
Deep within you.

1917
04:54:30.080 --> 04:54:36.479
Maybe things that used to cause you to feel anger

1918
04:54:40.319 --> 04:54:47.639
no longer have that power to control you.

1919
04:54:50.119 --> 04:54:51.880
The way they seem to be able to.

1920
04:54:52.159 --> 04:55:03.680
Before you realize that you all the one who decides

1921
04:55:07.000 --> 04:55:08.080
what affects you.

1922
04:55:11.759 --> 04:55:13.799
You're the one who.

1923
04:55:13.840 --> 04:55:20.840
Decides to feel relaxed and calm.

1924
04:55:22.159 --> 04:55:24.279
When you choose.

1925
04:55:27.560 --> 04:55:41.560
To enjoy noticing these natural developments and the healing continuing

1926
04:55:42.000 --> 04:55:55.959
to grow and improve your life day by day, including

1927
04:55:56.080 --> 04:55:58.000
of course, your ability.

1928
04:55:59.560 --> 04:56:04.040
To act so much easier.

1929
04:56:08.479 --> 04:56:18.040
And sleeping. It's the most natural thing in the world

1930
04:56:19.520 --> 04:56:27.639
to you, because fall in the sleep is something that you've.

1931
04:56:27.560 --> 04:56:38.240
Done so many times in your life, and you know

1932
04:56:38.479 --> 04:56:41.919
that you were born, as we all were.

1933
04:56:42.560 --> 04:56:44.439
With the ability.

1934
04:56:45.599 --> 04:56:47.520
To fall asleep naturally.

1935
04:56:51.880 --> 04:56:56.439
You're born with that ability.

1936
04:56:59.319 --> 04:57:13.360
Just left are into a deep, healing sleep. Even when

1937
04:57:13.439 --> 04:57:18.159
we're kids, sometimes will fall asleep and we don't even

1938
04:57:18.240 --> 04:57:18.599
want to.

1939
04:57:20.599 --> 04:57:25.720
Try to stay awake. Maybe it's a birthday in the morning,

1940
04:57:25.840 --> 04:57:29.040
night it's Christmas or holiday or.

1941
04:57:29.040 --> 04:57:31.959
Something we look forward to when I got to sleep.

1942
04:57:34.240 --> 04:57:39.200
But the more you want to stay awake, the more

1943
04:57:39.439 --> 04:57:40.959
we just start to drift.

1944
04:57:45.119 --> 04:57:48.520
And the more you try to drifting, the.

1945
04:57:48.560 --> 04:57:51.599
More you try to stop yourself and drift in a safe.

1946
04:57:53.439 --> 04:58:04.520
The detail and stronger thout drifting. Because because we're born

1947
04:58:05.479 --> 04:58:09.279
not just with the need to relax.

1948
04:58:09.000 --> 04:58:13.159
Deeply and to naturally fall asleep.

1949
04:58:16.000 --> 04:58:29.319
But it's our birthright, it's part of our DNA, and

1950
04:58:29.560 --> 04:58:35.000
sometimes as we get older in life, perhaps at times

1951
04:58:35.919 --> 04:58:48.919
we have gotten the relaxing completely. It's not only a

1952
04:58:49.200 --> 04:58:51.240
wonderfully pleasant.

1953
04:58:51.639 --> 04:59:16.240
Experience, it's also really it's very very easy to let go,

1954
04:59:18.279 --> 04:59:19.439
because that's all it is.

1955
04:59:19.599 --> 04:59:20.080
It's just.

1956
04:59:23.599 --> 04:59:27.959
Deciding to let go.

1957
04:59:33.319 --> 04:59:41.080
When you press the play button on my recordings, you

1958
04:59:41.439 --> 04:59:52.840
have given commission from my voice to elaction. Impress that

1959
04:59:53.000 --> 04:59:57.840
play button. You have given me commission from.

1960
04:59:57.720 --> 04:59:58.639
One word.

1961
05:00:02.439 --> 05:00:12.840
To effect. You are positive, find me a positive way.

1962
05:00:16.720 --> 05:00:17.599
Hope him up.

1963
05:00:22.720 --> 05:00:23.639
Your mind.

1964
05:00:25.159 --> 05:00:31.240
To us. Fool and.

1965
05:00:32.840 --> 05:00:36.560
Fling suggestions.

1966
05:00:40.279 --> 05:00:40.880
That can have.

1967
05:00:45.520 --> 05:00:48.279
Such a lays of effect.

1968
05:00:50.599 --> 05:00:53.080
Now you will right now.

1969
05:00:57.680 --> 05:01:04.279
As well as those changes. The count.

1970
05:01:06.959 --> 05:01:07.520
After the

1971
05:01:11.159 --> 05:01:33.560
Changes w