June 25, 2025

(no music) (5 hours) And he was Yellow | LMBYTS #1381 | Jason Newland | 24th June 2025

(no music) (5 hours) And he was Yellow | LMBYTS #1381 | Jason Newland | 24th June 2025
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WEBVTT

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Hello, and welcome to jasondewland dot com. My name is

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Jason Newland. I hope you are well.

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Hi, so.

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Oh god, no idea? What today is? How it's Tuesday?

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I don't know what the day is. Is it a

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twenty second or something like that of June twenty twenty five,

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I'm not really sure. Please only listen when you can

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safely close your eyes. This is let me bore you

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to sleep. My name is Jason Newland. Oh got itchy leg?

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I think I might have been bitten by a gnat? Okay,

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it's flease, Okay, who I've been?

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It's probably been the busiest five days I've had for

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a very very very long time, as far as.

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I suppose you could call it outside activities. You know,

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I'm busy sometimes making recordings, but not this week. I

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haven't been, so I'm gonna I'm gonna tell you about it.

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First of all, my website is back, so apologies to

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anyone that were annoyed for the website going, but it's

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now back as it was. I'm just going to have

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to do a little feud, little checks to make sure

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it's as exactly how it was, but it is back online.

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Jason nuland dot com and the yeah, that's done. I

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haven't made a recording, according to my web I don't know.

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I'm losing track. To be fair, I did let me

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boy a Q and A Friday on Friday, and I

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think I did a deep sleep whisper recording afterwards later

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on in the day, I think, and then no, I

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don't think i'd have done this Saturday. So basically, here's

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what's happened. I'm going to talk about a medical situation,

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but I'm not going to go into information about the

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medical condition. Okay, so this is going to involve hospitals

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and stuff, so if that's might not be the most relaxing,

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most relaxing thing to tell you to talk about, but

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you know, I like to tell you what's going on

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in my life as well. But at the same time,

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I'm not going to I'm not going to go all

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deep and serious with this, although it has been a

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very very serious situation. So you know, it involves medical

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and I'm going to talk about a little bit about

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medical stuff, but not really if you know what I mean.

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But I will be talking about hospitals because that's where

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I've been every day for the last five days, not

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for me, but for someone else. So it all started

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in nineteen seventy when I was born. Now it's so

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my neighbor. He's having his new bathroom done. And I

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didn't see him last week pretty much all week because

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he's having his bathroom done and he's used to having

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his own space. So really the fact that he had

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people coming and going all week, didn't really see him,

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and I didn't bother him, you know, I didn't really

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knock on his door because I could see on the

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camera that he was in and out and he was fine,

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and they were all in and out on the I

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got a door camera in and out doing the building work.

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So on Friday evening, when all the builders had finished,

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I knocked on his door to see how he's getting on.

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I mean, I say evening. It's still light outside, so

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probably pretty about o'clock seven, eight seven ish, you know,

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six seven, and this is Friday. It's now Tuesday evening,

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and he opened the door. I just got in from

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the sun. I mean, I've just been outside and it

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was still sunny or bright anyway, maybe not Sunday, it

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was still still very bright outside. So everything looks a

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bit weird when when I get inside after being outside,

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especially with these glasses because they're tinted glasses, so it

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makes everything a little bit of a weird kind of

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visual for a short while. Plus my eyesight's it's not

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as good as it used to be. Well, my friend,

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my neighbor. He's my friend as well, but just use

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the word neighbor. I guess it's probably classes with me

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more as a friend now. But he opened the door,

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so I just explained my relationship with him. It's friends

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with benefits. No, No, it's neighbors with benefits. No, it's

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a he's quite elderly, he's nearly seventy eight. I help

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him out with some stuff, so paying bills, when he

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gets letters, making phone calls, I help him with that stuff,

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just stuff because he's hearing it's not great. So I

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help him out with stuff where he you know, just general.

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I'm not his career, but I just try and help

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him when he needs help. And he hard never asks

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for help all for the first nine years, but over

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the last year he's been a bit more. I mean

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he's asked. He asked me for help in the past,

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but only for little bits and bobs. He normally locks

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himself out, or he's lost his debit card things like that,

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or if he looked, Yeah, he's had my telephone number

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for a long time, so he's locked himself in a

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couple of times where he couldn't open the lock. So

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you know, I was talking to him through the letterbox

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even though he both were on the phone as well,

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which is weird. And that was I've actually did a

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podcast about that episode. And that was strange because the

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council who I phoned would not talk to me because

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I'm not him. Okay, So I phone up saying, my

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elderly neighbor is a locked inside his flat. He needs

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to leave his home, but he can't open the door

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because the door is jammed. The lock was jammed, so

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it needed locksmith. And they said, well, who is he?

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I said who he was? And he said who are

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you to him? I said, I'm his neighbor. And then

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they said, well, we can't talk to you. I said,

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you are talking to me. Nope, we can't talk to you.

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We have to talk to him. So I literally had

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I said, well, she said we'll phone him up. I said,

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but you can phone him up. So they did phone

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him up. He couldn't hear him. So they phoned me

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up and they said, can you please put me can

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you put the phone through the letterbox so he can

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talk to us? So it was weird anyway. That so

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a few little things like that. I ended up putting

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his fish and chips through the letterbox because he couldn't

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get out to get any food. That's a weird one.

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It's a shared memory though, So Friday evening he opens

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a door. Now he's got very froll lately, but he's again,

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he's seventy eight. He's not a big eater. He doesn't drink,

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doesn't smoke, doesn't He's probably one of the most enthusiastic

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people I've ever met regarding sport, regarding anything, and I've

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ever met anyone possibly of any age, that was so

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enthusiastic about what they love. And he loves sport, I

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mean all sport. Boxing's not too bothered about. That's the

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one I love. But he knows about boxing, but not

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a huge amount. But when it comes to football, rugby, cricket,

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absolutely knows. There don't seem to be anything you don't know,

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and he follows all of it. He'll actually he'll listen

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to one spot on the radio. He'll watch one sport

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on the TV and he'll have another one playing on

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his tablet, like three different sports at the same time.

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It's just like, I don't know how he does it.

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It's not something I could do. But he loves it.

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And that's what's so sad about the situation because he

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loves being alive. Right, Okay again, I'm not going to

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go any I want to go into deep stuff. But

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he loves he's got energy, he's got he's enthusiastic about life,

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constantly looking forward to the next day because the rugby's on,

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or the crickets on, or the football match. He's looking

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forward to that. He's looking forward to the weekend every

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week because that's when a lot of sport is on television.

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So you know, I'm just I'm trying to get across that.

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He's really nice, very chatty, very chatty, but he's a

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really nice person. It's a kind and gentle person. But

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as probably I am me sitting his ways like a

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lot of people are. I guess I am as well

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in a lot of ways, probably in maybe more ways

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than he is. To be fair, and he's independent, and

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he does not like being does not like people interfering

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with his business, and who does. To be honest, I

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think anyone does, really do they. However, I'm laughing just

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because it put me in a very difficult situation. There's

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nothing funny at all about this situation. There's zero humor.

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But I'll probably get some out of it. But just

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remember I'm not mocking him or his situation at all.

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That's not what I'm doing. But I will perhaps laugh

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at some of the things that happened. So open a door,

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and literally I couldn't keep my eyes open because it

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was so bright. I thought he had some kind of

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light shining out of his flat, and I thought my

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glasses were turning brown again, like the lenses, and I

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know what's going on. So I took my glasses off,

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and it wasn't coming from there, it was coming from him.

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He was yellow. And I've seen that once before, many

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many years ago, like two fouls and two thousand and

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two thousand and four, that's when I last saw that,

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the only time I've ever seen it, and that person

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was a severe alcohol drinker, alcohol drinker, and he survived,

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but he was in hospital, but it gained another really

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nice person. So I lived in that house. That's when

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I lived in Ipswich. I lived in the house that

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was every single person in there, apart from the person

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at the bottom, was an alcoholic except me, and I

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didn't drink that whole year. It was just, really I

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think that's pretty irony. I stopped drinking because I a

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little bit of a drink issue previous. I was just

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drinking excessively for three years, like every night for three years,

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pretty much. So I stopped drinking for a whole year.

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Two thousand and four, I moved into this place. The

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bloat next to me was full on alcoholic. I'm talking

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like proper not didn't go to work. He's just drunk

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all the time. The man downstairs, and I got him

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really well with him. I helped him get a council

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flat when he got evicted, so I kind of helped

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him during that period. I wasn't living there anymore, but

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I just couldn't leave him. I wanted to help him

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to well, if you're friends of Somedden, you've got to

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help him. And the bloke downstairs was a full on,

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like really almost like a functioning alcoholic. The one next

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to me wasn't functioning. The one downstairs was functioning, and

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I got him really well with him, so again really

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quite good friends with him. The man next to him

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was also an alcoholic, but I didn't He wouldn't talk

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to me. He just didn't like me. So he lived

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directly below me, and he moaned that my I was

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making too much noise because when I moved in, I

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had this bed what they called the beds that are

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on the floor footons. I had a foot on the

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most uncomfortable bed in my life.

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That was.

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So every time I moved he oh, I guess I

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was moving the floorboards or whatever, and he could hear me.

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I think I'd be listening to the radio or something,

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and he just moaned. So he didn't like me, which

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is fine. Then down stairs at the bottom, so that's

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one two three people, two at the top with me

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and someone two at the bottom, two below me, and

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then two right at the bottom. The one right at

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the bottom, that's the one that ended up possible. He

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was again another functioning alcoholic, and I think he was retired,

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like the two functioning ones were retired. Next to him,

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there was a crackhouse. Well I'm not joking. It got

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closed down by the police. So he didn't drink, but

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he did other stuff. But he also was really nice.

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It's just a weird situation. He was lovely. Yeah, everyone

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in the house was nice. I didn't get on with

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one and he might be nice as well, but everyone

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else was really nice. And it's really strange because that

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was my year of abstinence, almost like I'm not doing

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anything this year, and I'm surrounded by all this alcohol.

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It was ridiculous. It was yeah, I don't know, almost

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like it was a test anyway. So I've seen that before.

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So my friend neighbor opposite yellow, yellow skinned skin, and

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I thought I'm seeing things here. I had Vinnie with

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me on his leads. I said, look, do you want

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to show me a bathroom? So said, yeah, come in.

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He's exactly the same. It's the same as what he

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ever is. He's like, you know, he was quite bubbly, Jess.

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He normally is. He's genuinely quite pleased to see me.

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He doesn't let anyone else in his flat other than

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the builders. He's got no choice about that. But he

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doesn't invite anyone into his home. But he does me now.

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He didn't for the first nine years or eight years.

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So I went in there, went to the bathroom. It's

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a really good job they've done. So he's had his

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kitchen done and now he's got his bathroom. It's nearly finished.

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I've been letting them in this week because he's in hospital.

234
00:17:53.160 --> 00:17:57.960
Such a really nice bathroom. But it's very bright as well,

235
00:17:58.039 --> 00:18:00.240
because there's a new light in there. It's really because

236
00:18:00.240 --> 00:18:03.440
it's really bright at the moment and I look at him,

237
00:18:03.440 --> 00:18:08.799
I'm thinking, at this point, my glasses have gone back

238
00:18:08.839 --> 00:18:14.839
to normal. I said to him, you are you okay?

239
00:18:15.160 --> 00:18:18.640
He said? He said, what are you talking about? What

240
00:18:19.720 --> 00:18:23.559
are you? Are you okay? Said yeah, you feel okay?

241
00:18:23.559 --> 00:18:27.519
Said yeah? He said why, I said, oh, you're yellow?

242
00:18:30.559 --> 00:18:34.720
And he said what Now he doesn't have a mirror

243
00:18:34.720 --> 00:18:41.079
in his home, and I don't know how he shaves.

244
00:18:42.200 --> 00:18:44.440
He does shave, so he must just do it by

245
00:18:46.119 --> 00:18:48.680
He must just guess. He's done it for years. But

246
00:18:51.079 --> 00:18:53.160
mind you, I've shaved at the sink without looking in

247
00:18:53.240 --> 00:18:56.319
the mirror. It's possible to do it like I've done

248
00:18:56.319 --> 00:19:01.079
it with a wet shave, a wet razor where I've

249
00:19:01.079 --> 00:19:05.640
had a sink that was nowhere near mirror because I

250
00:19:05.640 --> 00:19:08.960
couldn't be bothered to like walk two steps to the

251
00:19:09.000 --> 00:19:16.319
mirror to do it. But hey, it's this laziness. It's

252
00:19:16.359 --> 00:19:18.759
a challenge as well, isn't it to do it by touch?

253
00:19:19.200 --> 00:19:21.920
And it is possible. I mean, millions of people around

254
00:19:21.920 --> 00:19:25.000
the world, I have no choice but to do it

255
00:19:25.000 --> 00:19:28.519
by touch, do they? I guess if they're unable to see.

256
00:19:28.599 --> 00:19:35.799
So yeah, it is, of course it's possible. He he

257
00:19:35.839 --> 00:19:38.400
didn't know that he was yellow, but it wasn't just

258
00:19:38.440 --> 00:19:40.759
his skin, it was his eyes as well, you know,

259
00:19:40.799 --> 00:19:44.640
the whites of his eyes. And I said, are you sure?

260
00:19:44.680 --> 00:19:49.079
He said, yeah, I'm fine, And then we just have

261
00:19:49.119 --> 00:19:51.160
a normal conversation and I said, well, I'm just going

262
00:19:51.240 --> 00:19:54.799
to head off, and he was joking saying, I said,

263
00:19:54.839 --> 00:19:57.000
if you've got the builders coming at the weekend, he said, nope,

264
00:19:57.000 --> 00:19:59.200
they're not coming in if they are, even if they not,

265
00:19:59.319 --> 00:20:04.599
they're not coming in because it's rugby tomorrow. And I laughed,

266
00:20:04.640 --> 00:20:06.960
I know he would not answer the door at the weekend.

267
00:20:07.720 --> 00:20:11.920
That's his time. I said, okay, cool, I'll see it.

268
00:20:12.039 --> 00:20:16.599
I see it, So I see you on Monday, because you know,

269
00:20:16.720 --> 00:20:23.400
I leave him alone at the weekend. In then then

270
00:20:24.440 --> 00:20:27.160
I get in here because I live opposite and get

271
00:20:27.160 --> 00:20:34.160
in here, and I'm thinking that ain't right. It's just

272
00:20:34.240 --> 00:20:37.759
not right. It's like, I can't how can I ignore that?

273
00:20:41.519 --> 00:20:44.839
Is I understand? I mean, there's people coming and going

274
00:20:45.279 --> 00:20:47.559
not said a thing to him about it all week.

275
00:20:48.240 --> 00:20:49.880
They must have seen him. They have to see him

276
00:20:49.880 --> 00:20:52.640
because he's letting him in and he's he's a right

277
00:20:52.680 --> 00:20:55.319
chatter box. He's probably been talking to them the whole week,

278
00:20:55.839 --> 00:20:58.799
so they've seen him and no one's mentioned it. But

279
00:20:58.880 --> 00:21:01.200
then maybe the fact that they haven't seen him before

280
00:21:01.839 --> 00:21:04.160
they might think that's just how he looks all the time.

281
00:21:05.079 --> 00:21:10.559
It's a weird one, isn't it. It's difficult. It's see

282
00:21:10.559 --> 00:21:13.440
if I see if you see someone you know really

283
00:21:13.440 --> 00:21:18.079
well and they're limping, you're going to mention it and

284
00:21:18.119 --> 00:21:21.119
say you're okay, you're limping. But if you see someone

285
00:21:21.160 --> 00:21:23.400
for the first time, you know, you're a building, you're

286
00:21:23.440 --> 00:21:25.440
knock on the door, and they're limping, you're not going

287
00:21:25.480 --> 00:21:28.200
to question it. Yeah, it's I guess it's the same

288
00:21:28.279 --> 00:21:33.480
kind of thing. I suppose, I don't know. I imagine if

289
00:21:33.480 --> 00:21:36.720
you're going into people's houses, you see so many different

290
00:21:36.759 --> 00:21:42.160
things that you. Maybe they don't even notice it, you know,

291
00:21:43.400 --> 00:21:50.440
I'm not sure. Anyway, I'm sitting in here and I'm

292
00:21:50.480 --> 00:21:53.200
starting to get upset because I don't know what to do,

293
00:21:55.079 --> 00:22:00.000
like really starting to get Oh, this is very awkward

294
00:22:00.119 --> 00:22:03.359
situation because I know what he's like and I know

295
00:22:03.480 --> 00:22:07.920
that he he wouldn't want me interfering. I was correct

296
00:22:07.920 --> 00:22:14.279
as well. So what I did is which is something

297
00:22:14.279 --> 00:22:16.440
I don't normally do. I left Finny here and I

298
00:22:16.480 --> 00:22:19.440
went out around the corner to a neighbor that I know,

299
00:22:20.240 --> 00:22:24.640
and she's she's a bit older than me. She's someone

300
00:22:24.680 --> 00:22:27.480
that I can like. I felt I needed to talk

301
00:22:27.519 --> 00:22:30.039
to someone a bit older than me. I don't know

302
00:22:30.039 --> 00:22:32.119
why there's not many people older than me these days,

303
00:22:32.119 --> 00:22:37.839
but I thought, I just get her perspective. And I said,

304
00:22:37.880 --> 00:22:41.200
I don't know what to do, and I said, what

305
00:22:41.279 --> 00:22:45.240
I need is really a second opinion, because I might

306
00:22:45.279 --> 00:22:49.440
be I might not be seeing things correctly. I'm seeing yellow,

307
00:22:49.480 --> 00:22:52.240
but maybe he's not. He's not tan because he doesn't

308
00:22:52.279 --> 00:22:56.440
go out in the daytime. Really, he goes out at night.

309
00:22:57.640 --> 00:23:04.759
And you know, there was always that maybe that's why,

310
00:23:04.839 --> 00:23:08.599
maybe there's some kind of vitamin deficiency. I don't know.

311
00:23:08.759 --> 00:23:12.200
I'm not a doctor. I didn't finish the entire course.

312
00:23:12.519 --> 00:23:16.440
I didn't start. I didn't start the course either. But

313
00:23:16.480 --> 00:23:19.519
you know, by saying I didn't finish my doctorate, it's correct,

314
00:23:19.839 --> 00:23:23.799
isn't it. I didn't. I didn't complete, I didn't get

315
00:23:23.839 --> 00:23:29.119
my doctorate. I didn't start a doctorate, but I didn't

316
00:23:29.119 --> 00:23:32.599
get the doctorate. I never became a doctor. It's true.

317
00:23:33.160 --> 00:23:35.799
Doesn't mean I don't you know, I also don't have

318
00:23:35.839 --> 00:23:40.960
any medical training either, So that's irrelevant, isn't it. Really.

319
00:23:45.039 --> 00:23:48.319
I'm almost in disbelief about what's happened over the last

320
00:23:48.359 --> 00:23:53.799
five days. Just so I'm used to not going out

321
00:23:54.519 --> 00:23:56.920
other than three times a day with this little one here,

322
00:23:57.119 --> 00:24:02.440
this little fur ball in the park. I don't even

323
00:24:02.839 --> 00:24:05.440
I don't even cross the road like to go to

324
00:24:05.480 --> 00:24:08.319
the Petra station or the pet shop anymore. Everything I

325
00:24:08.400 --> 00:24:10.720
buy is online. I don't. It's almost like there's an

326
00:24:10.720 --> 00:24:16.319
invisible barrier that I've struggled to cross. I don't get

327
00:24:16.359 --> 00:24:21.440
my my prescriptions get delivered or I try and get

328
00:24:21.480 --> 00:24:24.000
someone to pick them up for me. I don't even

329
00:24:24.000 --> 00:24:31.400
travel there anymore. And it's been like that for probably

330
00:24:31.440 --> 00:24:35.599
since my friend downstairs passed away pretty much. I haven't

331
00:24:35.640 --> 00:24:38.960
really got out. I haven't been out much at all.

332
00:24:41.160 --> 00:24:44.440
In fact, the last time I went out, last time

333
00:24:44.480 --> 00:24:50.319
I left this area, like literally kind of left this

334
00:24:50.400 --> 00:24:56.160
area I think was probably my friend's funeral, which was

335
00:24:57.319 --> 00:25:00.920
a year and a half ago something like that. Yeah,

336
00:25:01.039 --> 00:25:05.119
over a even a half ago. So yeah, it was

337
00:25:05.200 --> 00:25:08.440
kind of strange. So anyway, I'm saying that because I've

338
00:25:08.519 --> 00:25:12.759
ended up having to go out so Friday, so around

339
00:25:12.799 --> 00:25:16.359
my friend and neighbor's house, and they said, oh, you know,

340
00:25:17.839 --> 00:25:20.440
I'm not being rude to them, because natural human thing,

341
00:25:20.480 --> 00:25:28.759
isn't it. We start, we start diagnosing as soon as

342
00:25:28.759 --> 00:25:32.359
you say someone's turned yellow, Well it's this, it's that.

343
00:25:32.480 --> 00:25:40.359
It's that, you know, And my personal the way I

344
00:25:40.440 --> 00:25:42.440
kind of look at it is, I don't know what

345
00:25:42.519 --> 00:25:45.359
it is, but I know it's not supposed to be yellow.

346
00:25:45.720 --> 00:25:47.920
That's all I can say. And I know that that

347
00:25:47.960 --> 00:25:50.440
can be a sign of something very serious. And I

348
00:25:50.440 --> 00:25:53.799
went online. I did research it as well before as

349
00:25:53.799 --> 00:26:01.119
soon as I came back just online to sort of all, okay,

350
00:26:02.119 --> 00:26:06.799
no description of turning yellow came up as being a positive,

351
00:26:06.880 --> 00:26:09.799
That's all I'm saying. So I thought oh, what do

352
00:26:09.839 --> 00:26:14.279
I do next? So I went around my neighbors. They

353
00:26:14.440 --> 00:26:19.519
basically diagnosed him, and we're about to write him a prescription.

354
00:26:19.599 --> 00:26:21.680
I said, no, no, wait a minute. First of all,

355
00:26:21.720 --> 00:26:27.559
you're not a doctor. Secondly, can one of you come

356
00:26:27.599 --> 00:26:34.000
around with me? And he knows the daughter because he's

357
00:26:34.200 --> 00:26:36.519
met a loads of times. She's a little bit younger

358
00:26:36.559 --> 00:26:40.519
than me, and so I said, if you come round,

359
00:26:41.799 --> 00:26:46.319
and I knock on his door because they asked me. Actually,

360
00:26:46.319 --> 00:26:48.200
the neighbor they will visited asked me if I had

361
00:26:48.240 --> 00:26:50.839
a toilet roll they could borrow. So I thought, okay,

362
00:26:50.960 --> 00:26:53.359
I'll use that as an excuse. I knock on my

363
00:26:53.400 --> 00:26:56.759
neighbor's door the opposite me, asking me if he's got

364
00:26:56.759 --> 00:27:00.000
a spare toilet role because I've only got one left.

365
00:27:01.200 --> 00:27:03.720
So it gave me an opportunity to get into open

366
00:27:03.720 --> 00:27:07.839
the door because he does as he did, answer the

367
00:27:07.880 --> 00:27:12.000
door to me and the other neighbor around the corner.

368
00:27:12.079 --> 00:27:15.279
She was with me, and as soon as the door

369
00:27:15.319 --> 00:27:19.960
opened she just went wow like she I mean, she

370
00:27:20.200 --> 00:27:24.599
was even shocked, even considered I'd already told her what

371
00:27:25.319 --> 00:27:27.759
was happening. I don't know she didn't believe me or

372
00:27:27.799 --> 00:27:34.079
whatever or didn't think it was quite as you know, significant,

373
00:27:35.359 --> 00:27:39.039
and he kind of says he got rid of us

374
00:27:39.119 --> 00:27:45.799
quite quickly, and so I gave him a toilet role

375
00:27:46.319 --> 00:27:47.880
because I didn't need a toilet role, but I just

376
00:27:47.920 --> 00:27:55.240
gave him my one. Came back in there. I've I

377
00:27:55.240 --> 00:27:59.079
didn't know what to do next. I really I struggled. Really,

378
00:27:59.119 --> 00:28:04.319
it's weird, I did. I think with my friend downstairs

379
00:28:05.119 --> 00:28:08.720
it was just me the whole time, well not just me,

380
00:28:08.799 --> 00:28:12.559
but generally it was very often only me that was

381
00:28:12.640 --> 00:28:17.599
dealing with him with his issues. So I kind of

382
00:28:17.599 --> 00:28:21.920
got used to it over years. In years of it,

383
00:28:21.920 --> 00:28:24.279
it was just progressive, you know, in a sense of

384
00:28:25.200 --> 00:28:29.240
more of the same. This was completely new. This is

385
00:28:29.279 --> 00:28:32.279
something I'd never dealt with with him before, or with anyone,

386
00:28:32.519 --> 00:28:40.519
not really in this sense, like being the person he

387
00:28:40.680 --> 00:28:47.880
needed to do something. So I called one one one,

388
00:28:48.079 --> 00:28:51.960
which is in the UK. That is, it's like a

389
00:28:52.000 --> 00:28:56.559
medical helpline. It's not nine to nine nine like in

390
00:28:56.599 --> 00:28:59.480
some countries it's nine to one one, isn't it or whatever,

391
00:28:59.640 --> 00:29:03.279
different different numbers that would be emergency. One one one

392
00:29:03.559 --> 00:29:06.119
is a place where you can phone up. They ask

393
00:29:06.200 --> 00:29:09.079
you some questions. You can ask questions on behalf of

394
00:29:09.119 --> 00:29:14.079
someone else technically, I mean you can't. Personally, you can

395
00:29:14.319 --> 00:29:18.079
if you've got a loved one that's got conditions or

396
00:29:18.480 --> 00:29:22.839
got some kind of symptoms, you can ask for advice. Well,

397
00:29:23.680 --> 00:29:28.240
I did this, and the person on the one one

398
00:29:28.319 --> 00:29:34.839
one they were very limited because I wasn't with him,

399
00:29:35.000 --> 00:29:44.279
and they kept asking me questions that I couldn't answer. Well.

400
00:29:44.480 --> 00:29:46.920
They asked, how does he feeling? I said, he's feeling fine.

401
00:29:48.000 --> 00:29:49.400
Is he there with you now? I said no, he's

402
00:29:49.440 --> 00:29:51.880
not with me. Now, well, can you go and get him?

403
00:29:52.359 --> 00:29:55.799
I said not really, because he told me to leave

404
00:29:55.880 --> 00:30:01.839
him alone, basically in so many words, stop fussing I

405
00:30:01.839 --> 00:30:07.200
think might have been one of his sentences. And they said, okay,

406
00:30:07.680 --> 00:30:09.319
what's his day of birth? So I don't know his

407
00:30:09.400 --> 00:30:12.759
day at birth, but I know he's nearly seventy eight. Okay,

408
00:30:14.880 --> 00:30:17.440
but I do know his name. I've got his address

409
00:30:17.480 --> 00:30:21.000
and all that stuff. I've got his telephone number. I

410
00:30:21.039 --> 00:30:23.559
said to him and said, okay, all right. So they said, well,

411
00:30:23.599 --> 00:30:27.680
based on what you said, he needs to call. We

412
00:30:27.759 --> 00:30:35.920
need to speak to him. I said, okay, So he said,

413
00:30:36.119 --> 00:30:38.559
They said, we can't deal with you. We're going to

414
00:30:38.640 --> 00:30:42.200
need to deal with him because he's the one that

415
00:30:42.440 --> 00:30:50.799
is got the condition. And I thought, Okay, this is

416
00:30:50.839 --> 00:30:54.519
going to be awkward, but they said it's important because

417
00:30:54.759 --> 00:30:57.559
not really because of his age or anything, just basically

418
00:30:57.599 --> 00:31:04.440
because of the from what you said, it's an important thing.

419
00:31:04.759 --> 00:31:10.519
It's a condition that will need medical attention, and we

420
00:31:10.599 --> 00:31:14.759
want to get some information from him regarding medical background,

421
00:31:14.839 --> 00:31:17.759
which I don't have. I don't know anything. It turns

422
00:31:17.799 --> 00:31:20.240
out he's never ever been, never had anything wrong with

423
00:31:20.319 --> 00:31:23.480
him ever in his life. Never. I'm not going to

424
00:31:23.720 --> 00:31:26.720
give his information away or say who it is. He

425
00:31:26.720 --> 00:31:28.759
could be anyone, so you're not going to know that.

426
00:31:29.319 --> 00:31:34.799
But he's he's completely never been ill other than just

427
00:31:35.079 --> 00:31:37.680
general things that all people have every now and then.

428
00:31:39.240 --> 00:31:42.440
Doesn't even have a doctor. It's not even registered with

429
00:31:42.480 --> 00:31:47.440
a doctor. And that's how healthy he's been his whole life.

430
00:31:49.519 --> 00:31:53.680
And I did tell them that I knew. I didn't

431
00:31:53.720 --> 00:31:56.079
know about the doctor, but I knew that he told

432
00:31:56.079 --> 00:31:58.960
me for he's all told me never been on medication,

433
00:31:59.000 --> 00:32:02.279
because when he heard that I was medication, he was

434
00:32:02.359 --> 00:32:06.079
kind of surprised that I was on because he's on

435
00:32:06.160 --> 00:32:10.519
nothing and I'm on what four different medications and he

436
00:32:10.640 --> 00:32:14.400
was like, really, you're on all them. I said, yeah,

437
00:32:14.759 --> 00:32:23.000
shut up, and he and he was interested in the bipolar.

438
00:32:23.039 --> 00:32:25.200
He was interested in me telling him about that stuff.

439
00:32:25.640 --> 00:32:27.880
So every now and then he asks me a question

440
00:32:27.920 --> 00:32:32.720
about it, but it's like gradual, you know. Anyway, So

441
00:32:34.599 --> 00:32:42.400
I'm here, I don't know what to do. I've phoned

442
00:32:42.440 --> 00:32:47.000
downstairs to my other neighbors and I said, I don't

443
00:32:47.000 --> 00:32:53.160
know what to do. I really don't know what to do.

444
00:32:53.200 --> 00:32:56.279
And this is there's a lady that lives downstairs that

445
00:32:56.319 --> 00:33:00.079
I go really well with. She's just directly blow me

446
00:33:00.079 --> 00:33:05.519
me and she's twenty years old, but she's probably way

447
00:33:05.519 --> 00:33:09.319
more mature than I am. It's weird. It's not really weird,

448
00:33:09.359 --> 00:33:12.319
but I'm just not. I didn't know what to do.

449
00:33:12.440 --> 00:33:15.079
I really didn't know what to do, and I needed

450
00:33:15.079 --> 00:33:17.960
some support. And maybe the fact that I asked for

451
00:33:18.039 --> 00:33:21.559
support is because I've never had any support with my

452
00:33:21.799 --> 00:33:25.079
other friend and I realized that I needed it back then,

453
00:33:25.559 --> 00:33:27.319
but I didn't have any I had no one to

454
00:33:27.359 --> 00:33:35.240
ask for help this situation. I just decided I'm going

455
00:33:35.279 --> 00:33:37.599
to ask, which is why I did ask the neighbor

456
00:33:37.640 --> 00:33:44.720
around the corner. The neighbor downstairs, and she said, well,

457
00:33:44.799 --> 00:33:48.279
i'll tell you what I do. I'll come up and

458
00:33:51.119 --> 00:33:55.200
we'll tell him together, because I didn't know if he

459
00:33:55.319 --> 00:33:59.279
was going to get angry with me, because he already

460
00:33:59.319 --> 00:34:02.880
told me pretty much know twice. The second time it

461
00:34:02.960 --> 00:34:05.559
was a little bit like go away. He cut closed

462
00:34:05.559 --> 00:34:09.360
the door a little bit, you know, quite quickly. So

463
00:34:09.360 --> 00:34:12.039
I knock on his door for a third time. This

464
00:34:12.119 --> 00:34:14.800
time is someone else standing there? So that's this is

465
00:34:15.000 --> 00:34:18.440
really annoying him, which is understandable. He would annoy me

466
00:34:18.480 --> 00:34:24.719
as well, especially as he doesn't he knows them, but

467
00:34:24.760 --> 00:34:26.679
he doesn't know them the way he knows me. So

468
00:34:26.719 --> 00:34:30.920
these are people that he's seen, but he hasn't doesn't

469
00:34:30.920 --> 00:34:34.639
really have like regular contact with them. And I said,

470
00:34:34.679 --> 00:34:36.760
I'm the only one he lets in his house. No

471
00:34:36.800 --> 00:34:42.920
one else, no one else is allowed in there. So

472
00:34:44.119 --> 00:34:47.440
I've got her. Her boyfriend's there as well. He's standing

473
00:34:47.480 --> 00:34:50.159
on the stairs, but he's tall enough to see over

474
00:34:50.239 --> 00:34:55.320
the banister and he opens the door and I say

475
00:34:55.360 --> 00:35:01.280
to him, oh, you know, you know her downstairs. I

476
00:35:01.280 --> 00:35:03.360
don't know what excuse I made for her being there,

477
00:35:03.920 --> 00:35:10.400
but I said, I've called one one one about your

478
00:35:10.639 --> 00:35:13.159
about your situation. And he said, what did you do

479
00:35:13.239 --> 00:35:21.119
that for? I said, well, I said it just he

480
00:35:21.199 --> 00:35:22.920
seemed like you were looking forward to the weekend. I

481
00:35:22.960 --> 00:35:24.840
just wanted to ruin all the rugby for you. So

482
00:35:26.360 --> 00:35:30.119
I didn't say that that's like, what other option did

483
00:35:30.159 --> 00:35:33.840
I have? He said, why? I said, because I care.

484
00:35:36.519 --> 00:35:39.519
That's why. That's why I called. Because I care. I said,

485
00:35:39.519 --> 00:35:41.679
if that's I was getting a little bit defensive to

486
00:35:41.679 --> 00:35:43.800
be honest, that that's a problem for you. That's your

487
00:35:43.920 --> 00:35:47.880
that's your problem. But I'm sorry. You know, I've gone

488
00:35:47.880 --> 00:35:50.199
through life with a lot of people not caring and

489
00:35:50.320 --> 00:35:52.880
no one it's like, and he's used to not being

490
00:35:52.880 --> 00:35:55.920
on his own, and I see him as a future

491
00:35:56.000 --> 00:35:59.559
version of me in some ways, because we're both very

492
00:36:00.119 --> 00:36:06.280
on her own, doing her own thing, very independent, don't

493
00:36:06.599 --> 00:36:13.159
really like being bothered, and don't generally ask anyone for

494
00:36:13.239 --> 00:36:19.880
anything for all possible. And I was really I was

495
00:36:20.000 --> 00:36:23.360
really getting in a way of that. I was, I mean,

496
00:36:23.440 --> 00:36:31.320
knocking on his door three one, two, three, three times,

497
00:36:32.679 --> 00:36:36.079
And the first time was fine anyway, because that was

498
00:36:36.119 --> 00:36:38.280
just a standard let's say, a look at your bathroom,

499
00:36:39.599 --> 00:36:43.159
but the other two times and having different people standing

500
00:36:43.159 --> 00:36:46.880
there with me, he was very anyway. The third time

501
00:36:46.920 --> 00:36:50.039
he got anger with me, and I understand it. I do,

502
00:36:50.760 --> 00:36:54.159
But at the same time I also needed a third opinion.

503
00:36:54.840 --> 00:36:57.760
I just I needed to be one hundred percent sure

504
00:36:58.239 --> 00:36:59.960
because I knew I was about to ruin his week

505
00:37:00.159 --> 00:37:03.880
end at the very least, because he's looking forward to

506
00:37:03.920 --> 00:37:08.440
watching the rugby. And I also thought there's a chance

507
00:37:08.440 --> 00:37:12.519
he won't talk to me again. But then I've got this.

508
00:37:12.960 --> 00:37:17.280
There's this I told my friend downstairs, the one Luke.

509
00:37:17.960 --> 00:37:22.480
I said to him at least once when because I'd

510
00:37:22.480 --> 00:37:26.639
call an ambulance for him multiple times and he hated it.

511
00:37:26.760 --> 00:37:31.039
He would never go to hospital. Never under any circumstances

512
00:37:31.199 --> 00:37:34.320
would he be taken Tosspital in an ambulance. And they

513
00:37:34.320 --> 00:37:37.760
always wanted to take him, but he never went. And

514
00:37:37.800 --> 00:37:39.719
I said to him once, I might have said it

515
00:37:39.760 --> 00:37:43.400
more than once. I said, listen, mate, I'd rather you

516
00:37:43.760 --> 00:37:46.559
hate me and be alive that love me and be dead.

517
00:37:47.440 --> 00:37:49.679
You know. I noticed, it's pretty a silly sentence to say.

518
00:37:49.719 --> 00:37:55.519
But and when I said it, I was quite not aggressive,

519
00:37:55.599 --> 00:37:59.000
but like I wasn't being all gentle with it. It

520
00:37:59.119 --> 00:38:02.360
was like, that's how it is. You got a problem

521
00:38:02.360 --> 00:38:05.480
with it. You're gonna have to deal with it, because

522
00:38:05.679 --> 00:38:08.119
I'm not going to stand and watch. I'm not just

523
00:38:08.119 --> 00:38:13.480
going to ignore someone who's in trouble. I can't. I

524
00:38:13.559 --> 00:38:15.280
can't do that. I just don't have it in me

525
00:38:15.360 --> 00:38:21.199
to do that. So I said the same thing to Alex.

526
00:38:22.719 --> 00:38:26.159
It's like, I got that little line rehearsed. I feel.

527
00:38:26.400 --> 00:38:27.920
Do you ever get a feeling, you know when you

528
00:38:27.960 --> 00:38:32.880
see Clint Eastwood or those movies and they say that

529
00:38:33.000 --> 00:38:37.079
things like go on make my day, Like he's got

530
00:38:37.119 --> 00:38:41.960
it rehearsed. I know he got rehearsed, as in it

531
00:38:42.000 --> 00:38:45.519
was in the movie. It was a script. But it's like,

532
00:38:45.599 --> 00:38:50.440
it's a really good line, but I'll just keep it

533
00:38:50.480 --> 00:38:53.440
there for the good, for the right moment. So I

534
00:38:53.480 --> 00:38:57.039
said that to him on the third time we were together,

535
00:38:58.039 --> 00:38:59.800
No not no. One wasn't the third time together. It

536
00:38:59.840 --> 00:39:02.840
was okay. The third time I was knock on his door.

537
00:39:05.360 --> 00:39:14.039
I told him that I'd called one one one, and

538
00:39:14.079 --> 00:39:17.159
he said he shouldn't have done that. I said, well

539
00:39:17.199 --> 00:39:21.039
I did, so he shouldn't have done but I did.

540
00:39:22.480 --> 00:39:24.800
And he was very angry. He shut the door in

541
00:39:24.840 --> 00:39:27.719
my face, standed the door in my face. Apparently he

542
00:39:27.760 --> 00:39:29.599
says something rude to me as well, but I didn't

543
00:39:29.639 --> 00:39:33.280
realize that my neighborhood, well, both of them heard him

544
00:39:33.719 --> 00:39:38.960
for some reason, I didn't hear it, so that was awkward.

545
00:39:40.920 --> 00:39:45.119
Now at this point, my other neighbors from downstairs, they

546
00:39:45.159 --> 00:39:51.679
come into my flat and they're like, wow, probably surprised

547
00:39:51.679 --> 00:39:53.360
at how he was acting to me, because I know

548
00:39:53.480 --> 00:39:57.000
that me and him are being quite close for the

549
00:39:57.119 --> 00:40:03.639
last year or so, so it's kind of she was

550
00:40:03.679 --> 00:40:07.320
surprised at that because she's the whole time she's lived there,

551
00:40:07.440 --> 00:40:10.239
me and him have been We get on really, you know,

552
00:40:10.639 --> 00:40:17.559
she sees us. I don't know, it just be just yeah.

553
00:40:17.880 --> 00:40:21.199
She was just surprised at how he was acting. So

554
00:40:21.239 --> 00:40:28.400
she came in here and she said, well, I don't

555
00:40:28.400 --> 00:40:33.480
know what to do. So what she did is she

556
00:40:33.679 --> 00:40:38.360
called one more one and reported it and said, look,

557
00:40:38.519 --> 00:40:43.199
the neighbor he won't he won't listen to us, he

558
00:40:43.239 --> 00:40:46.400
won't allow anyone to come in and you know, medical

559
00:40:46.920 --> 00:40:54.559
anything like that, blah blah. So one more one they'd

560
00:40:54.559 --> 00:40:57.000
already told me because I called them back again as well,

561
00:40:58.400 --> 00:41:00.840
and they kept asking the same question, is he with you?

562
00:41:01.880 --> 00:41:06.039
Can you check what's his condition? Now? I said, I mean,

563
00:41:06.119 --> 00:41:09.559
I'd literally to the same person. I said, probably six

564
00:41:09.639 --> 00:41:12.400
seven times, I'm not with him because you won't let

565
00:41:12.440 --> 00:41:14.000
me in the flat, shut the door in my face.

566
00:41:14.079 --> 00:41:16.280
We slammed the door in my face. He won't let

567
00:41:16.320 --> 00:41:20.039
me in. I can't talk to him, and every other

568
00:41:20.480 --> 00:41:25.159
probably three minutes later, So can I talk to him?

569
00:41:25.280 --> 00:41:28.639
Like he's not with me? So is he still yellow?

570
00:41:28.840 --> 00:41:28.960
Like?

571
00:41:29.239 --> 00:41:31.719
It was weird? It was kind of I realized they've

572
00:41:31.719 --> 00:41:34.519
got their script and they're trying to get to the

573
00:41:34.559 --> 00:41:38.000
bottom of it. So I'm not in no way being horrible.

574
00:41:38.039 --> 00:41:47.679
I'm just it was. It was difficult, and she said, well,

575
00:41:47.760 --> 00:41:50.920
we'll get back to you. I'll get her. They were

576
00:41:50.960 --> 00:41:53.320
all nice everyone. I spoke to his nice. We'll get

577
00:41:53.440 --> 00:41:58.199
someone back to you. She already spoke to a manager.

578
00:41:58.280 --> 00:42:00.599
And then they said we'll get back to you, and

579
00:42:00.599 --> 00:42:02.480
and then they said that also to my other neighbor.

580
00:42:02.639 --> 00:42:05.840
They didn't get back to my other neighbor, and I

581
00:42:05.880 --> 00:42:06.760
thought that was it.

582
00:42:08.280 --> 00:42:08.400
Right.

583
00:42:10.480 --> 00:42:15.360
I gave them his number and I said, unlikely he's

584
00:42:15.360 --> 00:42:17.639
going to answer the phone if he hasn't even turned

585
00:42:17.679 --> 00:42:20.440
it off. He's locked the door so you can't get in,

586
00:42:21.199 --> 00:42:24.079
and unlikely he's going to answer the door. I was

587
00:42:24.119 --> 00:42:26.920
wrong on all that. Actually I was wrong. He had

588
00:42:26.960 --> 00:42:31.440
locked it, but he actually was very compliant with them,

589
00:42:31.480 --> 00:42:38.000
not with me. So I got I can't. Haven't got

590
00:42:38.000 --> 00:42:42.119
access to my phone, so probably a bad half an

591
00:42:42.119 --> 00:42:45.440
hour later, maybe the phone went. Maybe an hour later

592
00:42:46.280 --> 00:42:50.000
the phone went and it was one more one again.

593
00:42:50.599 --> 00:42:56.920
I think this time it was a nurse and she said,

594
00:42:57.480 --> 00:42:59.800
are you with him? I said, no, I'm not with him.

595
00:43:00.960 --> 00:43:03.519
He's in a different flat. The door was locked. He

596
00:43:03.639 --> 00:43:10.760
hates me now, She said, I I understand. Well, we've

597
00:43:10.760 --> 00:43:20.599
got his telephone number and he's yeah, I will try

598
00:43:20.599 --> 00:43:29.159
and call him, and we're gonna basically send a paramedic around.

599
00:43:29.239 --> 00:43:30.800
She said, can you knock on his door let him know?

600
00:43:30.840 --> 00:43:35.239
I said no, I really can't. I said, well I can,

601
00:43:35.360 --> 00:43:37.360
but you won't answer the door. That's a guarantee for

602
00:43:37.519 --> 00:43:41.159
dot to me anyway, and that's just going to upset

603
00:43:41.199 --> 00:43:44.840
him even more. I really didn't expect him to answer

604
00:43:44.880 --> 00:43:49.000
the phone to them, But she phoned back about fifteen

605
00:43:49.000 --> 00:43:52.360
minutes later and said they've spoken to him. He was

606
00:43:52.440 --> 00:43:55.480
nicest pie on the phone. He agreed to have the

607
00:43:55.519 --> 00:43:58.440
paramedics come around. He was going to let them in,

608
00:43:59.440 --> 00:44:06.559
and it was absolutely lovely, and I thought, really, so,

609
00:44:09.199 --> 00:44:14.440
I think it's at this point I went to bed.

610
00:44:16.199 --> 00:44:17.639
I didn't really go to bed, but I went for

611
00:44:17.719 --> 00:44:22.039
a lie down because I didn't feel any longer that

612
00:44:22.079 --> 00:44:25.719
I could be involved, because the way he'd treated me

613
00:44:26.079 --> 00:44:29.880
and the way that he'd spoken to me, and I

614
00:44:29.880 --> 00:44:32.920
didn't think that he'd want me involved. But at the

615
00:44:32.960 --> 00:44:37.840
same time, he was getting medical assistance and that was

616
00:44:37.880 --> 00:44:43.199
the most important thing. Having me around wasn't important, That's

617
00:44:43.239 --> 00:44:49.239
what I thought anyway, but him getting help was important.

618
00:44:50.599 --> 00:44:53.280
So they went in there. I was just laying down,

619
00:44:53.599 --> 00:44:57.159
like quarter past ten or something. They weren't in there long.

620
00:44:58.239 --> 00:45:01.239
There was no big long thing. It was like, right, yep,

621
00:45:02.159 --> 00:45:05.039
we're taking his hospital. They were in there for fifteen

622
00:45:05.079 --> 00:45:10.239
minutes at half past ten with in his barking, so

623
00:45:10.280 --> 00:45:12.880
you can hear the door go. I left my door open,

624
00:45:12.920 --> 00:45:14.880
which is not what I normally do when I'm in

625
00:45:14.920 --> 00:45:19.239
bed at that time, but I looked at the camera

626
00:45:19.280 --> 00:45:21.480
I saw that they were coming out and he was

627
00:45:21.519 --> 00:45:29.400
locking the door. So I came out and I said,

628
00:45:30.119 --> 00:45:36.320
you're right. It's very awkward. And the paramedics they knew

629
00:45:36.360 --> 00:45:37.920
who I was. I guess they knew because I didn't

630
00:45:37.920 --> 00:45:42.840
want to called not knew me personally, but I think

631
00:45:42.840 --> 00:45:47.000
I probably told him I'm the one at Cordier. In fact,

632
00:45:48.079 --> 00:46:01.639
wait a minute, wait a minute, I am no, I've

633
00:46:01.639 --> 00:46:04.440
got this wrong. I'm doing this in the wrong order.

634
00:46:06.119 --> 00:46:06.320
Right.

635
00:46:06.360 --> 00:46:11.320
Here's what happened. I took Vinnie out for his last

636
00:46:11.320 --> 00:46:17.599
little wi that's it, and I'm coming back and the

637
00:46:17.639 --> 00:46:24.480
ambulance is there. Or yeah, we're coming back, and the

638
00:46:24.519 --> 00:46:28.480
ambulance was there. So I go up to them and

639
00:46:28.519 --> 00:46:32.679
say hi. They said hi. I said, I'm the one

640
00:46:32.679 --> 00:46:37.199
that called you. They said, oh, okay, hi, and I

641
00:46:37.239 --> 00:46:41.079
said and I had just explained the situation, and they

642
00:46:41.119 --> 00:46:47.800
went upstairs, and I just waited, oh yeah, oh that's what.

643
00:46:47.880 --> 00:46:53.320
That's it. I saw the ambulance outside. I came down

644
00:46:53.440 --> 00:46:55.480
to take him into the garden, but for I go

645
00:46:55.519 --> 00:46:59.880
out the front and I turned right for some of me,

646
00:47:00.119 --> 00:47:03.440
and then I turned left again. Said it's weird anyway,

647
00:47:03.480 --> 00:47:05.239
And I went out and told him who I was

648
00:47:05.320 --> 00:47:09.360
and that I want I'm the one that called originally

649
00:47:09.480 --> 00:47:15.840
and explained my perspective of what's kind of going on

650
00:47:15.880 --> 00:47:19.840
with him, just because he's coloring really but he physically

651
00:47:19.840 --> 00:47:22.679
feels fine and everything, and they said okay, so they

652
00:47:22.679 --> 00:47:30.679
went upstairs. I took Vinnie in the garden. So they

653
00:47:30.719 --> 00:47:32.719
were knocking for a little while before your answers to

654
00:47:32.719 --> 00:47:37.320
be fair and then but they didn't give up, and

655
00:47:37.360 --> 00:47:41.000
I just waited. I waited and listened until he'd let

656
00:47:41.000 --> 00:47:43.880
them in and they closed the door, and then I

657
00:47:43.920 --> 00:47:47.440
went upstairs and I went and lied down. But they

658
00:47:47.480 --> 00:47:49.400
weren't there for long and then they brought him out.

659
00:47:49.440 --> 00:47:53.280
So I go outside, say you're right, and she said

660
00:47:53.599 --> 00:47:58.760
there was two paramedics, so we'd take him to the hospital.

661
00:47:59.800 --> 00:48:02.519
I said, as I speak to Alex, I said, how

662
00:48:02.559 --> 00:48:05.440
you doing? He said, I think he apologized to me.

663
00:48:07.360 --> 00:48:11.880
And I said to him, drought me to come with you?

664
00:48:13.800 --> 00:48:19.000
He said yes, So I went with him. This was

665
00:48:19.079 --> 00:48:22.599
like half ten, got an ambulance with him. He's lying

666
00:48:22.639 --> 00:48:26.239
down on a bed thing and I'm sitting in a chair.

667
00:48:26.280 --> 00:48:29.880
I didn't even know they had chairs and ambulances. Never

668
00:48:29.960 --> 00:48:35.280
been for an ambulance ride as in my memory, maybe

669
00:48:35.320 --> 00:48:37.840
when I was a kid, but not in my adult memory.

670
00:48:37.880 --> 00:48:42.159
I don't remember ever ever being traveling in an ambulance.

671
00:48:44.440 --> 00:48:48.400
And it was a very strange very strange experience because

672
00:48:48.400 --> 00:48:51.119
there was no windows. Well there's windows, but all black

673
00:48:51.280 --> 00:48:56.880
blackened out. So it's almost like traveling on the tube,

674
00:48:57.000 --> 00:49:03.239
like underground, the underground railway, but no stops. You got

675
00:49:03.559 --> 00:49:08.760
not no railway stations or anything going through. And I

676
00:49:08.800 --> 00:49:10.800
had no idea where I was. I knew I was

677
00:49:10.800 --> 00:49:14.679
in an ambulance, but I had no idea where I was,

678
00:49:16.159 --> 00:49:20.719
like within the distance of traveling to the hospital. He

679
00:49:20.920 --> 00:49:25.280
was fine, he was joking, and they've got a cup

680
00:49:25.280 --> 00:49:26.880
of coffee from Costas on the way.

681
00:49:29.840 --> 00:49:30.679
It was yeah.

682
00:49:30.800 --> 00:49:37.199
And then so I was with him till three o'clock

683
00:49:37.320 --> 00:49:41.239
or three thirty in the morning. That's when I took

684
00:49:41.280 --> 00:49:44.960
that photo. I took that video of that fox outside

685
00:49:45.000 --> 00:49:48.360
the hospital because I was waiting for taxi. It was

686
00:49:48.400 --> 00:49:50.639
bright outside, but there's got a lot of lights at

687
00:49:50.679 --> 00:49:53.519
day in the hospital. But it was just like wow,

688
00:49:53.639 --> 00:50:00.159
almost like daytime, but very quiet. See, Friday night was

689
00:50:00.199 --> 00:50:04.599
going to be really busy, but it wasn't. And the

690
00:50:04.639 --> 00:50:08.920
busiest days, which I found very interested, just kind of

691
00:50:10.159 --> 00:50:12.360
threw me off a bit. But apparently the busiest times

692
00:50:12.360 --> 00:50:16.400
at the hospital are Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday. At that

693
00:50:16.480 --> 00:50:19.840
hospital anyway, I mean A and E. Of course it

694
00:50:19.920 --> 00:50:25.199
gets I suppose it's busy pretty much the whole time,

695
00:50:25.239 --> 00:50:28.159
but it's you know, it seems to be that the

696
00:50:28.159 --> 00:50:31.039
hospital as a whole, because they've got less staff on

697
00:50:31.039 --> 00:50:37.480
onto the weekend. So I've been here every day since Friday,

698
00:50:38.639 --> 00:50:41.000
and I've seen it get busier and busier and busier,

699
00:50:42.119 --> 00:50:45.800
like every day. It's almost like a twenty five percent

700
00:50:46.239 --> 00:50:51.199
of the people added on. It's weird, including staff as well.

701
00:50:51.679 --> 00:50:53.760
So where there was like maybe two or three staff,

702
00:50:53.880 --> 00:51:01.800
now there is ten. It's yeah, really busy. Anyway, So

703
00:51:07.039 --> 00:51:10.920
they didn't put him into A and E. They didn't

704
00:51:10.960 --> 00:51:14.239
have him sitting down waiting to be seen for hours

705
00:51:14.280 --> 00:51:21.239
and hours. They took him straight into an emergency observation place,

706
00:51:21.599 --> 00:51:23.400
so he was still he was in A and E,

707
00:51:23.920 --> 00:51:25.760
but he was on a bed in A and E.

708
00:51:26.679 --> 00:51:29.920
And they took his bloods and they did all that

709
00:51:30.039 --> 00:51:36.440
really quickly, and he had a cat scan within an

710
00:51:36.480 --> 00:51:44.880
hour of being there, I'd say maybe two hours, So

711
00:51:45.079 --> 00:51:46.519
I was kind of with him. I didn't go into

712
00:51:46.519 --> 00:51:53.400
the X ray place, but I was outside and everyone

713
00:51:53.480 --> 00:51:58.920
was so nice. Bearing in mind they're just super busy,

714
00:52:00.239 --> 00:52:04.360
you know, it's really weird. I think that some people

715
00:52:04.440 --> 00:52:07.920
they oh, they're just sitting around doing nothing, but they're not.

716
00:52:09.400 --> 00:52:13.159
You know, it's like, okay, maybe they're chatting. They need

717
00:52:13.199 --> 00:52:16.000
to have that moments, a couple of moments of just

718
00:52:17.000 --> 00:52:20.639
having a chat, you know, with their friends, talking about

719
00:52:20.719 --> 00:52:22.800
and as part of the learning process is what, isn't it?

720
00:52:22.800 --> 00:52:26.719
Because you've got a lot of young student students working there,

721
00:52:26.960 --> 00:52:31.079
student nurses, student doctors, and they learn from each other's

722
00:52:31.159 --> 00:52:34.800
experiences as well, don't they. So if someone's just had

723
00:52:35.000 --> 00:52:40.239
a situation as a nurse with a patient, they tell

724
00:52:40.280 --> 00:52:43.199
their colleague or their friend who's also a student nurse,

725
00:52:43.760 --> 00:52:46.039
and they can kind of learn from that experience. I

726
00:52:46.159 --> 00:52:50.199
just thought that out loud, and I really pleased myself. Yeah,

727
00:52:50.400 --> 00:52:54.239
so chatting may be useful sometimes could be helpful for

728
00:52:54.360 --> 00:53:00.519
future patients. And are always doing paperwork. I noticed that

729
00:53:00.559 --> 00:53:04.800
as well. It's constant because I kept I kept interrupting people.

730
00:53:06.360 --> 00:53:11.960
But it was it got to three o'clock or just

731
00:53:12.039 --> 00:53:15.880
after maybe half three to half three, I can't remember exactly,

732
00:53:16.960 --> 00:53:19.320
and the nurse said to me because I said, is

733
00:53:19.360 --> 00:53:22.760
a doctor coming around? Because I told her hours earlier

734
00:53:22.800 --> 00:53:25.119
that the doctor was going to come around. Because he

735
00:53:25.199 --> 00:53:30.159
had his blood test. Is that is cat scan done?

736
00:53:30.400 --> 00:53:32.400
So I guess we were waiting for the doctor to

737
00:53:32.440 --> 00:53:35.960
tell him the results of the cat scan, maybe not

738
00:53:36.000 --> 00:53:41.360
the blood tests, but the cat scan. And she said, no,

739
00:53:41.519 --> 00:53:46.320
he won't be seeing a doctor tomorrow, probably because I

740
00:53:46.360 --> 00:53:48.079
thought I was going to wait for him to see

741
00:53:48.079 --> 00:53:53.360
a doctor, either privately or with me there, whatever he wanted,

742
00:53:54.199 --> 00:53:57.960
and then be with him until he got into the ward,

743
00:53:58.159 --> 00:54:00.920
whatever ward he was going to be. And because it

744
00:54:01.039 --> 00:54:03.519
looked like they already said that he's going into a ward,

745
00:54:03.599 --> 00:54:12.519
he was not being sent home, and I, oh, that's

746
00:54:12.519 --> 00:54:14.599
what I was going to do. I was so tired.

747
00:54:15.199 --> 00:54:19.320
I wasn't delusional, delusional, whatever you want to call it.

748
00:54:19.320 --> 00:54:24.800
I wasn't like tripping or anything, but that particular I

749
00:54:24.840 --> 00:54:27.559
know it's weird, but that particular morning, I woke up

750
00:54:27.639 --> 00:54:30.679
at three point thirty in the morning. It's a really

751
00:54:30.719 --> 00:54:34.639
early morning. I don't normally wake up that early, but

752
00:54:34.719 --> 00:54:36.920
I got out of bed. I had had a nap

753
00:54:37.000 --> 00:54:42.800
during the day, but I'm normally in bed by ten,

754
00:54:43.599 --> 00:54:47.239
so to be awake at three point thirty I was

755
00:54:48.519 --> 00:54:51.719
I felt like I was almost on another planet. You know,

756
00:54:52.920 --> 00:54:59.280
it was really strange. I felt very weird, and he

757
00:54:59.400 --> 00:55:02.880
wasn't tired, But then I wouldn't have been tired if

758
00:55:02.920 --> 00:55:10.119
I was in this situation either, So I was. I

759
00:55:10.239 --> 00:55:13.360
was stimulated as well because I'm not used to being

760
00:55:13.400 --> 00:55:18.239
around people, not that many people whatever. Really, you know,

761
00:55:18.360 --> 00:55:21.400
just in my life, I saw more people on Friday

762
00:55:21.480 --> 00:55:29.000
night than I've probably seen the last two years, as

763
00:55:29.199 --> 00:55:33.079
like amount of people. And that was just in the evening.

764
00:55:33.559 --> 00:55:36.239
It's just a huge amounts of the people in the hospital,

765
00:55:37.320 --> 00:55:43.079
even when it's quiet. So the nurse said to me,

766
00:55:43.239 --> 00:55:45.920
you might as well go home. He's not going to

767
00:55:45.920 --> 00:55:50.280
be seen by a doctor tonight, very unlikely. It's free

768
00:55:50.320 --> 00:55:52.000
in the morning, but he probably won't be seen until

769
00:55:52.000 --> 00:55:59.559
Saturday during the day. And he very unlikely he's going

770
00:55:59.599 --> 00:56:02.800
to be put to a ward until tomorrow. That she

771
00:56:02.880 --> 00:56:05.480
was saying tomorrow, but you know Saturday. It was already Saturday,

772
00:56:05.519 --> 00:56:10.000
I guess early hours. So I told my friend. I said,

773
00:56:10.039 --> 00:56:14.320
I'm going to go, and he said, okay, it said

774
00:56:14.320 --> 00:56:17.079
to me a few times ago, if you want, because

775
00:56:17.119 --> 00:56:20.159
I was yawning and like I was struggling to keep

776
00:56:20.159 --> 00:56:27.440
my eyes open, like physically struggling a bit like now.

777
00:56:30.400 --> 00:56:41.960
So I left, got a taxi home and I called

778
00:56:42.039 --> 00:56:47.159
him in the morning about ten o'clock Saturday, so I

779
00:56:47.199 --> 00:56:53.719
went to sleep. Was it ten o'clock? It probably was,

780
00:56:53.760 --> 00:56:56.519
because I went to sleep and I awoke. I couldn't

781
00:56:56.519 --> 00:56:59.599
go straight to sleep either, which is weird. Even though

782
00:56:59.599 --> 00:57:05.800
I was tired, I hadn't eaten anything for eight hours,

783
00:57:05.880 --> 00:57:09.480
nine hours, so I just needed to get some food

784
00:57:09.519 --> 00:57:12.880
in me. So I just had some breakfast cereal, waited

785
00:57:12.920 --> 00:57:15.960
for half hour, forty minutes or whatever. Then I went

786
00:57:16.000 --> 00:57:18.000
to sleep. In fact, I didn't go to bed. I

787
00:57:18.000 --> 00:57:21.079
fell asleep on this chair here. I don't know if

788
00:57:21.119 --> 00:57:23.760
I was watching Telly, but I just fell asleep and

789
00:57:23.800 --> 00:57:27.880
I woke up probably about eight or nine in the morning,

790
00:57:28.199 --> 00:57:32.039
so I probably maybe three hours four hours sleep. I

791
00:57:32.119 --> 00:57:35.199
called him up about ten and he told me he'd

792
00:57:35.199 --> 00:57:39.280
been moved and had been seen by a doctor already.

793
00:57:40.679 --> 00:57:43.239
I said, wow, okay, so he's moved into a different

794
00:57:43.320 --> 00:57:46.480
ward and I said, what did the doctor say? He said,

795
00:57:46.519 --> 00:57:48.639
it's not good. I said, okay, do you want to

796
00:57:48.639 --> 00:57:50.880
tell me now? You wrought me to come and visit

797
00:57:50.920 --> 00:57:53.039
you and tell me. Then he said, well, i'll tell

798
00:57:53.079 --> 00:58:02.480
you in person, So I said, give me. I don't

799
00:58:02.480 --> 00:58:04.960
know when I went what time. I think, yeah, I

800
00:58:05.039 --> 00:58:08.360
left it at midday, so I said, give me, give

801
00:58:08.400 --> 00:58:11.000
me a couple of hours because I need to get ready,

802
00:58:11.559 --> 00:58:13.960
but I'll head off. So I got a taxi there

803
00:58:13.960 --> 00:58:20.519
at midday and got there just four one o'clock I

804
00:58:20.559 --> 00:58:27.639
don't know, twenty to one or something. And so there

805
00:58:27.719 --> 00:58:34.880
was a new ward He's on the left hand side, yeah,

806
00:58:35.239 --> 00:58:37.760
and he had someone opposite. Oh, yeah, there was a bloke.

807
00:58:38.960 --> 00:58:41.239
I got chatting to one of the blokes that was

808
00:58:41.639 --> 00:58:44.519
the other side. There was two people waiting to go

809
00:58:44.639 --> 00:58:50.719
home basically, and he was in. He was just sitting

810
00:58:50.760 --> 00:58:58.199
there again, felt fine physically, and so told me what

811
00:58:58.239 --> 00:59:01.199
a doctor said. So I'm like, okay. So we started

812
00:59:01.199 --> 00:59:08.039
having some quite serious conversations and that, and so I'm there.

813
00:59:08.239 --> 00:59:14.559
I got home. I couldn't even tell you what time.

814
00:59:14.599 --> 00:59:20.800
I got home about seven o'clock in the evening. And

815
00:59:20.800 --> 00:59:27.559
there was there again Sunday. So I was leaving here

816
00:59:28.760 --> 00:59:35.239
probably I think probably midday again on Sunday, get home

817
00:59:35.280 --> 00:59:43.599
about six or seven Monday. I left at about twenty

818
00:59:43.639 --> 00:59:48.960
to ten a quarter ten in the morning, got home

819
00:59:49.039 --> 00:59:55.920
about half six in the evening. That was Monday. Today,

820
00:59:57.440 --> 00:59:59.320
I tried to get a little bit earlier, so I

821
00:59:59.400 --> 01:00:03.719
left hear about ten past nine. But I missed the bus.

822
01:00:04.519 --> 01:00:06.519
This because all the rest of the time I've been

823
01:00:06.519 --> 01:00:10.679
paying taxis and it's twenty pound per visit, twenty pounds

824
01:00:10.679 --> 01:00:13.000
per trip, and I've been doing two trips a day,

825
01:00:13.760 --> 01:00:17.639
so one trip on Friday, two on Sunday. No one

826
01:00:17.679 --> 01:00:20.599
on Friday, two on Saturday, two on Sunday, and two

827
01:00:20.679 --> 01:00:26.360
on Monday. So today I had to get the bus.

828
01:00:26.480 --> 01:00:31.320
I really didn't have any choice. And it's a journey.

829
01:00:31.360 --> 01:00:37.119
It's at a real journey because two buses and I

830
01:00:37.239 --> 01:00:38.440
missed the bus.

831
01:00:42.159 --> 01:00:42.199
No.

832
01:00:42.440 --> 01:00:45.239
Yesterday I got the bus back. No, I didn't get

833
01:00:45.280 --> 01:00:47.519
I didn't use a taxi. I got a bus back,

834
01:00:48.360 --> 01:00:52.800
and it took me two hours from the hospital to

835
01:00:52.840 --> 01:00:56.639
my home. It takes two hours with two buses waiting

836
01:00:56.719 --> 01:01:01.800
and walking. It's two hours, which is kind of strange really,

837
01:01:02.920 --> 01:01:05.360
And so I got the bus again today, missed the

838
01:01:05.400 --> 01:01:09.280
first bus, and then I missed the connection coming back.

839
01:01:10.039 --> 01:01:12.599
In fact, I didn't miss the connection. What happened is

840
01:01:12.760 --> 01:01:15.079
I got the bus back from the hospital to the

841
01:01:15.159 --> 01:01:19.480
track to the bus station. That bus station road was

842
01:01:19.559 --> 01:01:22.199
closed off, so the bus has had to do a detour.

843
01:01:23.400 --> 01:01:29.360
I was waiting for a specific bus there was. It

844
01:01:29.400 --> 01:01:33.159
didn't stop at the correct bus stop because there was

845
01:01:34.360 --> 01:01:36.880
I don't know why it didn't stop there. It went

846
01:01:37.079 --> 01:01:39.360
over and there's all these other buses in a way,

847
01:01:39.400 --> 01:01:41.199
so I'm following it to see where it's going to park.

848
01:01:41.920 --> 01:01:45.519
It parked further down the road, so I'm walking towards it,

849
01:01:45.599 --> 01:01:47.599
thinking it's going to open the doors and let people out,

850
01:01:47.840 --> 01:01:50.559
so people are going to wait to get in. No,

851
01:01:51.199 --> 01:01:54.320
it just drives off again. So I missed that bus.

852
01:01:56.400 --> 01:02:01.519
Then there's another bus which is going to the airport,

853
01:02:01.920 --> 01:02:04.760
but it does go past where I live, go past

854
01:02:04.800 --> 01:02:12.000
the estate chop a chopper chopper full proper full of

855
01:02:12.000 --> 01:02:16.559
people all on their way to holiday. I guess, so

856
01:02:16.760 --> 01:02:20.480
suitcases and everything everywhere. And I managed to get on

857
01:02:20.840 --> 01:02:25.519
and did get seat, which is okay, but it's very noisy.

858
01:02:25.880 --> 01:02:29.760
And now I guess people was excited they're on holiday.

859
01:02:29.760 --> 01:02:37.000
They just enjoy themselves, but it is, Yeah, it was

860
01:02:37.880 --> 01:02:41.639
anyway I got home. That's the bottom nine. I got home.

861
01:02:43.360 --> 01:02:46.840
I didn't I didn't do a late one though, because

862
01:02:47.239 --> 01:02:52.159
I left to get there for ten and I told

863
01:02:52.199 --> 01:02:57.000
him that I can't leave Ville on his own for

864
01:02:57.079 --> 01:02:59.519
you know, seven eight hours a day. I can't. I

865
01:02:59.559 --> 01:03:02.400
can't keep doing that. It's just not fair on him

866
01:03:02.400 --> 01:03:06.360
because he's been unhappy. He's he's stopped eating his food.

867
01:03:07.960 --> 01:03:09.840
I literally I give him his food and his water,

868
01:03:10.679 --> 01:03:13.800
and he's got everything in these But he's in one

869
01:03:13.880 --> 01:03:16.320
room like the living room. It's not it's not a

870
01:03:16.360 --> 01:03:19.159
tiny room or anything, but the windows are open, so

871
01:03:19.239 --> 01:03:21.760
he's got air ventilation. You can't get you can't get

872
01:03:21.800 --> 01:03:29.480
to the windows, TVs on or something. But it's too

873
01:03:29.519 --> 01:03:34.039
long for him, and he's now like rested. He's cuddled

874
01:03:34.119 --> 01:03:38.480
up to me and chilled out now because I got

875
01:03:38.480 --> 01:03:40.639
home a bit earlier, and I think it makes a difference.

876
01:03:41.199 --> 01:03:42.519
So I took him for a walk before I took

877
01:03:42.599 --> 01:03:47.679
him out. Today he's had three w a l k's.

878
01:03:47.719 --> 01:03:51.000
I just realized said the word. He said three today.

879
01:03:51.639 --> 01:03:54.400
He said A one normal one and one really short one.

880
01:03:54.760 --> 01:04:01.400
He said three normal length ones. Soe before I went out,

881
01:04:02.800 --> 01:04:12.559
I was back by carter past two, maybe half past two.

882
01:04:13.840 --> 01:04:17.400
So it worked. Even though I missed the bus and everything,

883
01:04:17.440 --> 01:04:19.679
I still managed to get back by half past two.

884
01:04:20.960 --> 01:04:25.760
And he didn't seem quite as stressed out as he

885
01:04:25.880 --> 01:04:30.679
was the last few days, so that taken off that

886
01:04:30.880 --> 01:04:34.599
four four odd hours more really soons to many difference.

887
01:04:35.519 --> 01:04:37.880
And I gave him some food and he's eating it.

888
01:04:40.239 --> 01:04:42.480
I gave him food yesterday, he wouldn't eat it. He

889
01:04:42.519 --> 01:04:44.320
didn't eat the food all day long. And the food

890
01:04:44.320 --> 01:04:49.639
I gave me, it wouldn't eat either. I mean on

891
01:04:49.639 --> 01:04:52.559
on Saturday or Sunday, Sunday, I think it was, or

892
01:04:52.559 --> 01:04:55.800
maybe Monday. I gave him his food and it's water.

893
01:04:56.119 --> 01:04:58.519
And I gave him a t R E E E

894
01:04:58.519 --> 01:05:02.079
E T one of his favorite ones, and I put

895
01:05:02.119 --> 01:05:04.079
it down. He grabbed it and brought it in the

896
01:05:04.119 --> 01:05:07.840
hat into the room, and then I close the door

897
01:05:07.840 --> 01:05:11.559
and he's just going bananas because he doesn't want me

898
01:05:11.599 --> 01:05:15.039
to leave. I come home, you know, eight nine hours

899
01:05:15.079 --> 01:05:19.639
late or whatever. The food's untouched. The tree's still on

900
01:05:19.679 --> 01:05:23.880
the floor. It's not even touched the tree. So yeah,

901
01:05:24.199 --> 01:05:28.480
he's been a little bit affected. I Mean, the problem

902
01:05:28.519 --> 01:05:30.760
is I've never left him on his own, hardly at all.

903
01:05:31.239 --> 01:05:34.159
The whole time had him. It's been twenty four hours

904
01:05:34.159 --> 01:05:39.639
a day pretty much together. And there's been a couple

905
01:05:39.639 --> 01:05:41.960
of occasions where I've had to leave him for a

906
01:05:42.000 --> 01:05:46.320
few hours, but never more than a few hours. I

907
01:05:46.360 --> 01:05:49.880
think maybe four four hours, five hours at the most.

908
01:05:50.920 --> 01:05:53.599
It's you know, it's a very it's rare, and this

909
01:05:53.679 --> 01:05:59.320
has been every day for four days, five days. But

910
01:05:59.360 --> 01:06:01.239
he seems to be a bit more chilled out today

911
01:06:01.239 --> 01:06:04.559
because I took him out. I had to sit down

912
01:06:04.639 --> 01:06:07.519
first because I was naked, and I took him out

913
01:06:07.559 --> 01:06:10.800
about quarter to three, and then I took him out

914
01:06:10.800 --> 01:06:16.079
again about seven. So he's had he's been out, and

915
01:06:16.119 --> 01:06:19.039
he's he's done all he needs to do out there.

916
01:06:19.280 --> 01:06:21.880
It's now dark, so it's probably about ten o'clock at night,

917
01:06:22.760 --> 01:06:25.360
and I don't feel so tired as well, because I

918
01:06:25.400 --> 01:06:27.400
had a nap when I got back here. I took

919
01:06:27.480 --> 01:06:29.400
him out. Then I had a nap for about an

920
01:06:29.440 --> 01:06:34.360
hour hour and a half and I found I work

921
01:06:34.480 --> 01:06:36.119
up with I think maybe I went to bed about

922
01:06:36.159 --> 01:06:41.239
four worke up about six. I needed I needed to

923
01:06:41.360 --> 01:06:46.519
sleep because it was I was so tired, and I'm

924
01:06:46.559 --> 01:06:50.440
still tired enough to go to bed now, you know,

925
01:06:50.559 --> 01:06:52.440
because it's what it might be gone ten. I don't

926
01:06:52.440 --> 01:06:54.719
know how long I've been talking for. I started this

927
01:06:54.840 --> 01:07:06.679
about nine o'clock, very dark, so knackering. And what's really

928
01:07:06.800 --> 01:07:13.320
strange is my neighbor has started to talk about his life,

929
01:07:13.760 --> 01:07:18.000
which he never used to do. It's away about sport generally,

930
01:07:18.880 --> 01:07:22.079
and now he's we've been going out because he doesn't

931
01:07:22.119 --> 01:07:27.119
have to stay in the ward all the time. I mean,

932
01:07:27.400 --> 01:07:30.000
I mean legally he can do whatever he wants. He

933
01:07:30.039 --> 01:07:32.440
doesn't have to stay in the ward ever. You know,

934
01:07:32.719 --> 01:07:34.400
he can come and go and do what he wants.

935
01:07:34.440 --> 01:07:37.280
But you know, as far as from a medical perspective,

936
01:07:37.639 --> 01:07:41.000
as long as he lets them know, and if he's

937
01:07:41.039 --> 01:07:43.440
got a doctor on the way, then he stays. You know,

938
01:07:43.480 --> 01:07:45.400
they say, well can you wait until you've the doctor

939
01:07:45.480 --> 01:07:48.639
seen you. And he needs to be there when they're

940
01:07:48.679 --> 01:07:50.960
doing the meals as well, because otherwise it messes it

941
01:07:51.039 --> 01:07:55.480
up for other people. So outside of that, for the

942
01:07:55.599 --> 01:07:59.519
last three days or I think Sunday, Monday, Tuo. Yet

943
01:07:59.559 --> 01:08:02.800
the last three days maybe Saturday as well, we've been

944
01:08:02.840 --> 01:08:05.480
going out for a walk. We've been gone outside and

945
01:08:05.559 --> 01:08:09.760
sat down and yes, Saturday, Sunday, Money and tew all

946
01:08:09.840 --> 01:08:17.760
four days. Which is weird because yesterday we were sitting

947
01:08:17.760 --> 01:08:21.319
at this bench and a duck started pecking at my

948
01:08:21.359 --> 01:08:25.560
grain and for a second I thought it was Vinny.

949
01:08:27.279 --> 01:08:29.000
It's because I'm so used to having him with me.

950
01:08:29.239 --> 01:08:32.319
I'm not saying that Vinnie pecks at my grain, but

951
01:08:32.560 --> 01:08:41.079
just if there's movement in my pants, this sounds wrong. Oh,

952
01:08:41.119 --> 01:08:44.279
this movement in my pants, I assume it's Vinnie. No.

953
01:08:44.920 --> 01:08:51.199
If you know I'm used to him, like rubbing up

954
01:08:51.199 --> 01:08:53.760
against me again, that sounds wrong. You know, just things

955
01:08:53.800 --> 01:08:56.159
like lick it. No, that sounds wrong as well, just

956
01:08:56.680 --> 01:08:59.960
you know, him doing his thing like jumping on me,

957
01:09:00.279 --> 01:09:05.079
or laying down and cuddling up to my feet or

958
01:09:05.960 --> 01:09:08.199
this thing, or walking on my feet, stuff like that,

959
01:09:09.239 --> 01:09:13.680
or you know. So it was weird because I nearly said,

960
01:09:13.680 --> 01:09:15.960
with Annie, what are you doing? I looked down. It

961
01:09:16.000 --> 01:09:18.720
was this duck looking up at me, and he's pecking

962
01:09:18.760 --> 01:09:26.560
at me bits gently, very gentle lover, to be honest,

963
01:09:26.800 --> 01:09:29.399
very I'm glad because they've got those big old beaks.

964
01:09:29.399 --> 01:09:32.880
They could imagine they could cause problems, but he didn't.

965
01:09:34.279 --> 01:09:39.199
It was very lovely. His name is Cyril. We got

966
01:09:39.199 --> 01:09:43.560
on quite well. We swapped numbers. You know, we're going

967
01:09:43.600 --> 01:09:49.760
to see how it goes. So I he's been talking

968
01:09:49.760 --> 01:09:53.760
and he's been opening up, and he's been asking me

969
01:09:53.880 --> 01:09:57.319
about me, which he never normally does, asking me about

970
01:09:57.359 --> 01:10:05.199
my childhood, talking about his own childhood. And I'm not

971
01:10:05.239 --> 01:10:07.159
sure if he ever saw me as a human before.

972
01:10:08.479 --> 01:10:10.199
I don't know if he ever saw me as a

973
01:10:10.239 --> 01:10:14.279
person just a neighbor, I don't think. I'm not sure

974
01:10:14.279 --> 01:10:18.279
if he saw me as a I don't know, as

975
01:10:18.279 --> 01:10:23.119
a person with feelings and or had any interest. But

976
01:10:23.159 --> 01:10:25.319
I understand that because I'm a bit like that myself.

977
01:10:28.239 --> 01:10:30.720
But then, you know, he's never really talks about his

978
01:10:30.800 --> 01:10:33.960
life normally. It's just all about sport, and I get bored.

979
01:10:34.359 --> 01:10:36.640
I tell him, I don't pretend. I tell him I'm

980
01:10:36.680 --> 01:10:41.680
not interested in hearing about football. I says, boring to me.

981
01:10:41.840 --> 01:10:44.079
It's not boring to you. It's not boring to most people,

982
01:10:44.079 --> 01:10:48.680
but to me, I switch off if you. I like

983
01:10:48.760 --> 01:10:52.840
talking about boxing, but generally I only like talking about

984
01:10:52.840 --> 01:10:58.920
boxing to people that know about boxing, because I would

985
01:10:58.960 --> 01:11:01.159
probably say that I'm more more than a casual fan

986
01:11:01.239 --> 01:11:06.600
of boxing, you know, it's something that I really have

987
01:11:06.840 --> 01:11:12.680
loved for decades. I sound probably more than just a

988
01:11:12.800 --> 01:11:18.119
I don't just watch the big fights, although they are

989
01:11:18.119 --> 01:11:25.319
the best fights quite often, but not always actually anyway,

990
01:11:25.439 --> 01:11:30.479
So that's not really about boxing. Is that this recorded,

991
01:11:30.199 --> 01:11:35.920
And I've done made a few faux pas along the way.

992
01:11:38.960 --> 01:11:41.720
So I was taken my going to take my friend outside,

993
01:11:41.760 --> 01:11:45.159
and I said to his neighbor, oh, yeah, he got

994
01:11:45.239 --> 01:11:53.560
moved to another award on Monday morning, I think or

995
01:11:53.720 --> 01:11:56.279
Sunday morning Monday. I lose in track of the days,

996
01:11:56.359 --> 01:11:59.119
to be honest, I think it might have been Sunday morning,

997
01:11:59.399 --> 01:12:03.479
and he got moved because there was someone was starting

998
01:12:03.560 --> 01:12:08.720
and being problematic with him. I don't know really what

999
01:12:08.720 --> 01:12:21.000
that was about. And so we it's quite funny. I said,

1000
01:12:21.000 --> 01:12:22.279
they want me to go and visit him and go

1001
01:12:22.319 --> 01:12:25.199
and then the word because it because they basically moved

1002
01:12:25.239 --> 01:12:29.119
my neighbor, not the bloke, and he said, no, you laughed.

1003
01:12:29.720 --> 01:12:31.079
But then we were out for a walk. He said,

1004
01:12:31.399 --> 01:12:34.680
are we going to go and see that bloke? Was like, no,

1005
01:12:35.520 --> 01:12:40.720
I didn't mean it. I said, look, I think it's

1006
01:12:40.800 --> 01:12:48.720
really worth remembering that people react differently to being unwell,

1007
01:12:49.039 --> 01:12:53.079
you know, and some people are very patient, some people

1008
01:12:53.800 --> 01:12:57.680
are not, some people have you know, It's it's just

1009
01:12:58.760 --> 01:13:01.319
it's no way of different. We all react different and

1010
01:13:02.319 --> 01:13:06.239
and I try just like say to everyone in the beds.

1011
01:13:06.840 --> 01:13:15.199
Every bed apart from mabe we most beds mean I'm

1012
01:13:15.199 --> 01:13:21.079
sure places like the baby maternal maternity ward there's a

1013
01:13:21.079 --> 01:13:25.000
lot of pretty a lot of very happy people in

1014
01:13:25.039 --> 01:13:29.000
those beds. I'm guessing after giving birth. I don't know,

1015
01:13:29.039 --> 01:13:33.560
I've never I've never had a baby. But outside of that,

1016
01:13:38.920 --> 01:13:43.039
saying to him like, no one's here because I want

1017
01:13:43.039 --> 01:13:48.880
to be here, and everyone this in those beds are unwell.

1018
01:13:49.760 --> 01:13:52.520
So it's got to just need to just try and

1019
01:13:53.800 --> 01:13:56.600
give everyone a break if you can. Don't take it

1020
01:13:56.640 --> 01:14:01.039
too personally. I think I've been quite lucky in life

1021
01:14:01.479 --> 01:14:05.079
in a sense of I've done some jobs which have

1022
01:14:05.319 --> 01:14:10.239
involved a lot of rejection. That's sales. Sales is one

1023
01:14:10.359 --> 01:14:14.159
job where it doesn't matter how good you are, rejections

1024
01:14:14.920 --> 01:14:19.560
the majority. You know, it's people saying no most of

1025
01:14:19.600 --> 01:14:24.640
the time. And I kind of got used to that.

1026
01:14:25.000 --> 01:14:28.239
And also being in a working a call center, I

1027
01:14:28.279 --> 01:14:31.239
got used to a lot of very rude people as well,

1028
01:14:33.119 --> 01:14:36.760
and I kind of become accustomed to it. And then

1029
01:14:36.760 --> 01:14:39.640
when I became a counselor, I've got to find out

1030
01:14:39.880 --> 01:14:43.000
a lot of what people are going through behind the

1031
01:14:43.039 --> 01:14:49.039
scenes as humans that is not you know, because I've

1032
01:14:49.079 --> 01:14:50.960
kind of got my own experiences and I've got that

1033
01:14:51.159 --> 01:14:57.279
to work with. But then hearing in depth hundreds of

1034
01:14:57.319 --> 01:15:01.520
other people's experiences over i know, five years or whatever

1035
01:15:01.560 --> 01:15:05.920
I was a counselor that was like, wow, it was

1036
01:15:06.520 --> 01:15:12.880
very educational, I guess. So I think with those experiences

1037
01:15:13.319 --> 01:15:20.039
mixed together, I'm kind of able to look at situations

1038
01:15:20.439 --> 01:15:23.560
from different angles. And I'm not saying I do it

1039
01:15:23.600 --> 01:15:32.399
well because sometimes I really don't. Yeah, I'm not always perfect.

1040
01:15:33.600 --> 01:15:36.960
I'm never perfect. I don't even I don't even want

1041
01:15:37.000 --> 01:15:43.560
to be perfect, never really. I think being decent. I

1042
01:15:43.720 --> 01:15:50.439
like to be known as kind, and that's but naturally kind,

1043
01:15:50.560 --> 01:15:54.359
not doing it for any other reason, not doing it

1044
01:15:54.359 --> 01:15:57.640
because I want attention or because I want people to think,

1045
01:15:57.800 --> 01:16:04.680
ooh he's so kind, not that, not not like that,

1046
01:16:04.880 --> 01:16:12.680
but just genuine like a decent person. But not perfect

1047
01:16:14.399 --> 01:16:19.399
because it's easy. It's only one way to go. Once

1048
01:16:19.439 --> 01:16:21.560
you're perfect, you can't go any higher up ken you.

1049
01:16:22.439 --> 01:16:34.680
So I'd rather just I'd rather kind of surf surf

1050
01:16:34.760 --> 01:16:42.680
in the middle somewhere possibly. And yeah, anyway, I said

1051
01:16:42.720 --> 01:16:47.000
to this, his his neighbor who's in the ward. So

1052
01:16:47.000 --> 01:16:51.039
I've got to talking to two of the people because

1053
01:16:51.079 --> 01:16:54.079
he's now an award with four people. One of the

1054
01:16:54.079 --> 01:16:58.319
people doesn't talk to me, but admit that he can't anyway,

1055
01:16:58.399 --> 01:17:07.680
so he's he is very not very unwell, so but

1056
01:17:07.760 --> 01:17:09.720
he does talk to the other day. They've all got

1057
01:17:09.720 --> 01:17:11.079
to know a little bit because they're in the same

1058
01:17:11.119 --> 01:17:13.840
room with him twenty four hours a day. But he's

1059
01:17:13.960 --> 01:17:17.359
his wife usually there when I go there, so I

1060
01:17:17.359 --> 01:17:20.960
say lo to her. But the two other blokes in

1061
01:17:21.000 --> 01:17:24.319
there got chatting to him. They know my name and everything,

1062
01:17:25.520 --> 01:17:30.640
and so I've been starting to go and get coffees

1063
01:17:30.680 --> 01:17:32.479
for them and sort of saying do you need anything.

1064
01:17:32.560 --> 01:17:37.479
And it turns out neither of them are allowed to

1065
01:17:37.560 --> 01:17:46.560
leave the ward, but my neighbor can. So it's like

1066
01:17:46.800 --> 01:17:54.159
for medical reasons. And I really put my foot in it.

1067
01:17:54.880 --> 01:17:58.000
So I said to the blokes in the bed next

1068
01:17:58.000 --> 01:18:00.960
to my neighbor, I said, what if you fancy it,

1069
01:18:03.479 --> 01:18:05.560
you come in comfortab walk with us if you want

1070
01:18:05.640 --> 01:18:08.039
if you want to get out, because he hadn't editning

1071
01:18:08.119 --> 01:18:11.880
visitors for a day or so, and he said no,

1072
01:18:12.000 --> 01:18:14.880
I can't. I said, what's up to you? If you're

1073
01:18:15.319 --> 01:18:16.880
up to you, if you don't want to he said, no,

1074
01:18:17.000 --> 01:18:23.239
I can't walk. Ah, I'm so sorry, he laughed. He said, no,

1075
01:18:23.399 --> 01:18:26.439
you didn't know digit because I've only seen him in

1076
01:18:26.479 --> 01:18:29.079
the bed. I had no idea that he wasn't able

1077
01:18:29.119 --> 01:18:33.880
to walk. And I said, well if you if you

1078
01:18:33.920 --> 01:18:36.439
want to get a chair, I'm happy to push it down,

1079
01:18:37.199 --> 01:18:39.520
you know. And he said no, I'm not allowed out.

1080
01:18:39.560 --> 01:18:43.159
I was okay. I think there's a bit of rejection.

1081
01:18:43.239 --> 01:18:45.880
I think he just I'm not saying he's pretending, but

1082
01:18:47.199 --> 01:18:49.520
he might be pretending he's not allowed to leave. I mean,

1083
01:18:49.560 --> 01:18:56.640
that's what I mean. He's perhaps I'm boring him, but

1084
01:18:56.680 --> 01:19:00.399
he's a nice bloke and you are. One position asked

1085
01:19:00.439 --> 01:19:03.760
me can you take me out? And I said, well,

1086
01:19:05.439 --> 01:19:08.119
when you release from hospital, we can perhaps go for

1087
01:19:08.159 --> 01:19:10.680
a drink. He said no, no, I want Can you

1088
01:19:10.760 --> 01:19:13.039
just help me go outside? I said, oh, okay, sorry,

1089
01:19:13.560 --> 01:19:19.039
I was embarrassing. And he said to me, why do

1090
01:19:19.119 --> 01:19:21.359
you do that? I said, what do you mean? He said,

1091
01:19:21.520 --> 01:19:24.800
why do you like going about, like all, having dates

1092
01:19:24.800 --> 01:19:29.520
with men when you you like women? I said so,

1093
01:19:30.600 --> 01:19:33.520
He said, this just seems a weird thing to do.

1094
01:19:35.479 --> 01:19:39.319
I said why, He said, just I don't know. Just

1095
01:19:40.079 --> 01:19:42.720
a lot of straight people don't say things like that,

1096
01:19:43.600 --> 01:19:45.319
you know. I said, well, I'm not a lot of

1097
01:19:45.359 --> 01:19:49.399
straight people. He said that doesn't make sense. I said,

1098
01:19:49.399 --> 01:19:54.840
I know, nothing does. And then we all just like

1099
01:19:54.960 --> 01:19:59.640
looked at each other and like that moment, you know

1100
01:19:59.720 --> 01:20:04.119
that my where you all realize that's true. Nothing really

1101
01:20:04.119 --> 01:20:05.239
does make sense.

1102
01:20:05.000 --> 01:20:05.359
Does it.

1103
01:20:05.880 --> 01:20:10.640
If you really like delve into it, it's like okay, wow.

1104
01:20:11.920 --> 01:20:17.199
So anyway, and then I just I did a little dance. Again.

1105
01:20:18.880 --> 01:20:22.119
I thought that shouldn't have done that the last if

1106
01:20:22.119 --> 01:20:24.239
someone tells you they can't walk, you don't start dancing

1107
01:20:24.279 --> 01:20:27.960
in front of them. That's kind of just I wasn't

1108
01:20:28.000 --> 01:20:30.800
doing it for that reason. It was just I just

1109
01:20:30.880 --> 01:20:34.640
had a bit of nervous energy. You know. It was strange.

1110
01:20:34.680 --> 01:20:37.760
But he forgave me anyway. So I was kind of like,

1111
01:20:38.000 --> 01:20:40.119
I can't believe. I just said, do you want to

1112
01:20:40.159 --> 01:20:42.840
go for a walk? And he said, yeah, I'm not

1113
01:20:42.840 --> 01:20:45.159
a dog as well. Just don't don't don't put it

1114
01:20:45.159 --> 01:20:46.600
in that word. Do you want to go for a walk?

1115
01:20:46.640 --> 01:20:49.359
Can I take you for a walk? I said, I

1116
01:20:49.359 --> 01:20:52.279
didn't say that today. He said, yeah, you did. He said.

1117
01:20:52.279 --> 01:20:54.439
Another thing I said was that he said, when you

1118
01:20:54.520 --> 01:20:56.800
do that don't hold a dog lead in your hand,

1119
01:20:57.800 --> 01:20:59.840
and don't say good boy, good but you want to

1120
01:20:59.880 --> 01:21:05.399
go good boy, and don't call me Vinnie. I was like, okay, sorry,

1121
01:21:06.359 --> 01:21:10.840
I miss him. The other bloke, he said, they're not

1122
01:21:10.840 --> 01:21:16.279
taking me outside. I said, okay. And he's been here

1123
01:21:16.319 --> 01:21:21.800
since I don't know, he's been there for five days,

1124
01:21:21.920 --> 01:21:25.840
six days, five days and he's not been outside since

1125
01:21:25.920 --> 01:21:29.199
he's been there. And I went to the reception. I said,

1126
01:21:29.800 --> 01:21:32.520
can I take what's his name out? He's asked me?

1127
01:21:32.560 --> 01:21:35.680
And she said no. I said, I'll go on. She

1128
01:21:35.760 --> 01:21:39.920
said no. I said please. She said no. I said,

1129
01:21:40.000 --> 01:21:42.479
is that all you can say? Just no? She said no.

1130
01:21:43.479 --> 01:21:46.279
That's when I realized that she could say other things,

1131
01:21:46.319 --> 01:21:48.600
and I thought maybe she might. I just figured she'd

1132
01:21:48.600 --> 01:21:52.239
won the argument, really, And she said, the reason that

1133
01:21:52.279 --> 01:21:55.079
he can't go out is because he needs a medically

1134
01:21:55.119 --> 01:21:58.199
trained person with him. Are you medically trained? And I

1135
01:21:58.239 --> 01:22:01.760
said yes. If she said are you really, I said no,

1136
01:22:02.119 --> 01:22:04.960
I'm not. She said why did you say yes? Because

1137
01:22:04.960 --> 01:22:08.680
I thought maybe you believe me? I said, why don't

1138
01:22:08.680 --> 01:22:10.840
you just stick to your stick to your guns? And

1139
01:22:10.960 --> 01:22:13.399
if you say yes, why did you say yes?

1140
01:22:13.479 --> 01:22:13.800
Twice?

1141
01:22:13.920 --> 01:22:20.239
I said, because I didn't think you believed me. Ah,

1142
01:22:20.800 --> 01:22:25.520
it was weird. So she said no. But I did

1143
01:22:25.600 --> 01:22:27.920
say to her, if you need someone to take him out,

1144
01:22:27.920 --> 01:22:30.239
I'm happy to take him out or any of the

1145
01:22:30.279 --> 01:22:35.199
other people, either with my neighbor or separately. I don't care,

1146
01:22:36.279 --> 01:22:38.399
you know, while I'm here, I'm happy to be useful,

1147
01:22:40.279 --> 01:22:44.359
which is a weird, weird thing. I'd rather do something

1148
01:22:44.399 --> 01:22:48.479
than just not do anything. Not in life, but just

1149
01:22:48.720 --> 01:22:53.279
in a hospital setting. I see this so much, so

1150
01:22:53.359 --> 01:22:58.399
many people working so hard, and I kind of like,

1151
01:22:58.439 --> 01:23:03.439
for example, the man next to my neighbor, he asked

1152
01:23:03.479 --> 01:23:06.840
one of the nurses or I don't have it the

1153
01:23:06.960 --> 01:23:11.960
nurse or care I don't know the different workers. Isn't

1154
01:23:11.960 --> 01:23:15.000
there in hospital if you could get a bag? Because

1155
01:23:15.000 --> 01:23:16.560
she had a lot of rubbish on his bin on

1156
01:23:16.680 --> 01:23:19.399
his table, and I said, I can get rid of

1157
01:23:19.399 --> 01:23:22.960
that for you. Just suddenly binzos over there. I'll just

1158
01:23:23.000 --> 01:23:25.760
take it bit by bit. So I emptied his table,

1159
01:23:27.000 --> 01:23:32.199
and he seemed surprised I did that. That's no difference

1160
01:23:32.279 --> 01:23:40.520
to me, And yeah, I just she was like, there's

1161
01:23:40.600 --> 01:23:47.119
a hero if you look insert your pants. It's I

1162
01:23:47.159 --> 01:23:49.760
don't know why I say that. I'm not saying this,

1163
01:23:49.840 --> 01:23:52.880
so like cool, how good I am? I emptied someone's table.

1164
01:23:53.239 --> 01:23:55.680
It's not I don't think that's going to be my epitaph,

1165
01:23:55.800 --> 01:23:59.279
is it. It was a bit annoying, but he did

1166
01:23:59.319 --> 01:24:03.760
empty people's tables. They didn't want him to. This is

1167
01:24:03.760 --> 01:24:07.640
to walk randomly around hospitals and put people's stuff in

1168
01:24:07.680 --> 01:24:16.520
the bin. It was very annoying. Yeah, so I'm trying

1169
01:24:16.560 --> 01:24:18.520
to think of any other weird things that have happened

1170
01:24:20.079 --> 01:24:26.279
since I was one. Weird occasion is older to taxi? No,

1171
01:24:26.520 --> 01:24:31.000
this is this is weird. Yeah, order a taxi and

1172
01:24:31.800 --> 01:24:36.000
I did it. It's got like this automatic auto system.

1173
01:24:36.680 --> 01:24:39.600
And at the end of it, they couldn't even understand

1174
01:24:39.600 --> 01:24:41.239
what I was saying. But at the end of it,

1175
01:24:41.319 --> 01:24:46.079
they said, so picking you up from your address and

1176
01:24:46.079 --> 01:24:50.279
delivering you back to your address my home address, and

1177
01:24:50.560 --> 01:24:53.720
I wanted to pick me up the hospital and take

1178
01:24:53.800 --> 01:24:56.239
me to my address. So they were going to pick

1179
01:24:56.279 --> 01:24:58.039
me up and drop me off at the same place.

1180
01:25:00.159 --> 01:25:03.680
Think that like caused some kind of an error in

1181
01:25:03.720 --> 01:25:09.520
the system, wouldn't you. But n So I phoned them

1182
01:25:09.600 --> 01:25:12.800
up again, and as I phoned them up, they phoned

1183
01:25:12.840 --> 01:25:15.399
me up. So I hung up, answered the phone that

1184
01:25:15.399 --> 01:25:19.199
they were calling me, and I said, she said, oh,

1185
01:25:19.479 --> 01:25:21.640
is that whatever? I said, yeah, you made a book

1186
01:25:21.640 --> 01:25:24.119
and I said yeah, and I was about to explain,

1187
01:25:25.560 --> 01:25:29.039
and she said, oh, wait it was. She didn't say

1188
01:25:29.319 --> 01:25:32.199
I'm talking, but it was kind of that attitude like,

1189
01:25:32.560 --> 01:25:36.880
wait a minute, let me finish. So she went on

1190
01:25:36.920 --> 01:25:39.560
and on and said. She said, so you don't want

1191
01:25:39.600 --> 01:25:41.479
to be picked up from that address that I said no.

1192
01:25:41.960 --> 01:25:46.760
She said, okay, I'll cancel it then, and I don't

1193
01:25:46.880 --> 01:25:48.319
explained to her. I was at the hospital and I

1194
01:25:48.359 --> 01:25:52.640
wanted to go there from the hospital. I assumed that

1195
01:25:52.760 --> 01:25:56.479
by telling her that that she would send me a taxi. No,

1196
01:25:57.239 --> 01:26:05.600
she canceled the taxi all together. So I'm waiting for

1197
01:26:05.640 --> 01:26:08.319
half an hour. Nothing comes. I phone up the taxi

1198
01:26:08.399 --> 01:26:12.279
office again. This time I speak to someone different and

1199
01:26:12.319 --> 01:26:18.479
they say, oh, you know, it's canceled. I said okay,

1200
01:26:19.640 --> 01:26:22.840
And he was surprised that it was canceled and they

1201
01:26:22.880 --> 01:26:26.479
didn't send me a taxi, and so he said, I'll

1202
01:26:26.479 --> 01:26:30.119
get someone with you now. So probably about another fifteen

1203
01:26:30.119 --> 01:26:32.119
to twenty minutes and I've got a taxi turn up.

1204
01:26:32.880 --> 01:26:37.560
And I might be exaggerating the timescale here for effect.

1205
01:26:38.359 --> 01:26:40.720
I don't know what type of effect, to be honest,

1206
01:26:41.159 --> 01:26:49.720
a boring effect. So he pulls up and I don't know,

1207
01:26:49.920 --> 01:26:51.720
he doesn't like look at the way. He didn't know

1208
01:26:51.840 --> 01:26:56.319
me anyway, but he parked up, and he didn't seem

1209
01:26:56.319 --> 01:27:00.399
to be indicate who's for because there was always people

1210
01:27:00.399 --> 01:27:06.640
waiting for taxis. So I went to where his stories,

1211
01:27:06.680 --> 01:27:11.079
you know, where he was sitting in the car. It

1212
01:27:11.199 --> 01:27:13.960
was definitely from the company i'd ordered, but it could

1213
01:27:13.960 --> 01:27:17.520
have been for anyone. And I said, are you here

1214
01:27:17.560 --> 01:27:22.920
for Jason? He said yeah, but he had a weird

1215
01:27:22.920 --> 01:27:25.239
look on his face. I said, you are right. He

1216
01:27:25.319 --> 01:27:29.359
said no, I can't go anywhere at the moment, I

1217
01:27:29.399 --> 01:27:34.439
said why not? And he pointed to the screen which

1218
01:27:34.600 --> 01:27:38.079
was the payment thing, and they said, they're telling me

1219
01:27:38.079 --> 01:27:41.640
the journey is going to be seven pound. I'm not

1220
01:27:41.720 --> 01:27:46.520
taking you all away there for seven pound, and there's

1221
01:27:46.520 --> 01:27:50.039
actually seventeen pound. I'll give a three pound tip. But

1222
01:27:50.920 --> 01:27:53.520
so they'd missed out the ten pound. So what they've

1223
01:27:53.560 --> 01:27:58.199
done is they'd put on the same thing where it

1224
01:27:58.239 --> 01:28:00.960
was the same price as the original journey. So what

1225
01:28:01.000 --> 01:28:04.520
they had charged me to pick me up and drop

1226
01:28:04.600 --> 01:28:10.000
me off at the same address was seven pounds. Why

1227
01:28:10.000 --> 01:28:11.680
would you want to be picked up and dropped? I

1228
01:28:11.720 --> 01:28:15.399
mean literally picked up. So you get in a car,

1229
01:28:16.159 --> 01:28:18.199
give them seven pounds and then you get out in

1230
01:28:18.199 --> 01:28:21.279
the car again out of the taxi. I mean, why

1231
01:28:22.000 --> 01:28:25.960
unless you're the only time I've seen anyone get into

1232
01:28:25.960 --> 01:28:28.199
a car and then get straight out again. And I

1233
01:28:28.239 --> 01:28:32.800
think this was a taxi. It was Superman movie like

1234
01:28:33.439 --> 01:28:37.000
in the late seventies. He gets in the taxi and

1235
01:28:37.079 --> 01:28:39.279
gets out the other side and he's Superman goes in

1236
01:28:39.319 --> 01:28:42.720
Clark Kent, and I think there's a taxi or was

1237
01:28:42.760 --> 01:28:46.880
a police in might bean a police car that was

1238
01:28:46.920 --> 01:28:49.159
a bit a bit rude though if it was a

1239
01:28:49.159 --> 01:28:53.840
police car, a bit rude any car really.

1240
01:28:53.680 --> 01:28:54.039
Isn't it.

1241
01:28:57.319 --> 01:29:01.000
And he said, we're not going anywhere. I'm not taking

1242
01:29:01.039 --> 01:29:04.239
anyone anywhere until I get the proper price. And I

1243
01:29:04.279 --> 01:29:07.760
said to him, look, it's seventeen pound. I'm paying you

1244
01:29:07.800 --> 01:29:10.600
twenty pound anyway, and he said, I I'll get in there.

1245
01:29:11.720 --> 01:29:14.039
I said, you know, there's no arguing on my side.

1246
01:29:14.039 --> 01:29:17.159
I'm too tired to argue, and I know that it's

1247
01:29:17.199 --> 01:29:20.600
not seven pound. I've done the journey since well I've

1248
01:29:20.640 --> 01:29:24.920
done it. I think I've done it four times at

1249
01:29:24.920 --> 01:29:34.600
that point, and he just halfway through the journey, the

1250
01:29:35.119 --> 01:29:40.000
office called him up and he explained the situation and

1251
01:29:40.039 --> 01:29:42.319
they said, oh, they didn't know what was going on,

1252
01:29:42.359 --> 01:29:51.279
and eventually they they changed it, changed it to it

1253
01:29:51.319 --> 01:29:57.720
came up properly at seventeen. But it's like I couldn't

1254
01:29:57.720 --> 01:30:00.800
wait around. I was like, I want to really because

1255
01:30:00.800 --> 01:30:04.880
when he charge me waiting time, that's what I was thinking.

1256
01:30:04.960 --> 01:30:07.720
Is he going to charge me waiting time because he's

1257
01:30:07.760 --> 01:30:14.479
waiting on the proper price. I don't know, but it

1258
01:30:14.560 --> 01:30:16.439
was a it was a cool bloke, so that was

1259
01:30:16.720 --> 01:30:21.640
that was an easy situation too to change or to

1260
01:30:21.760 --> 01:30:30.279
a remedy. And so basically, you know, my friend's under observation.

1261
01:30:30.920 --> 01:30:37.600
It's got things you know, going to be observed, et cetera.

1262
01:30:40.920 --> 01:30:46.760
That's going back and forward. This really really connected me

1263
01:30:47.920 --> 01:30:54.720
really in a way that I'm surprised at. I kind

1264
01:30:54.720 --> 01:31:01.439
of just didn't expect it, to be honest. I managed

1265
01:31:01.479 --> 01:31:06.039
to get my prescription, which is good on the way

1266
01:31:06.960 --> 01:31:15.479
and had a weird experience today. I went into because

1267
01:31:15.520 --> 01:31:18.960
they've got a W. H. Smith, They've got a Costa

1268
01:31:19.000 --> 01:31:27.119
Coffee in the hospital. There's a a supermarket in Marks

1269
01:31:27.159 --> 01:31:33.000
and Spencer's. I think, yeah, there's two Costa coffees, actually

1270
01:31:34.520 --> 01:31:36.680
one small one and one larger one where you can

1271
01:31:36.760 --> 01:31:40.920
eat like you can sit down. So I go into

1272
01:31:41.680 --> 01:31:44.479
w A Smith as well. So I go into Marks

1273
01:31:44.479 --> 01:31:47.560
and Spencer's. I get some milk because I've got no

1274
01:31:47.680 --> 01:31:54.000
milk at home for my breakfast in the morning, and

1275
01:31:54.039 --> 01:32:00.359
I realized I've got very little breakfast cereal. Ever, I'm

1276
01:32:00.359 --> 01:32:03.000
looking for the breakfast cereal and what I've noticed in

1277
01:32:03.319 --> 01:32:08.119
this Marks and Spencer's it's just maybe it's the same,

1278
01:32:09.720 --> 01:32:11.720
maybe it's always the same. I haven't been in Marx

1279
01:32:11.720 --> 01:32:16.600
Suspenser's for years, but everything is home brand. There's no

1280
01:32:16.880 --> 01:32:19.920
like norm branded stuff. It's just Marks and spencer stuff.

1281
01:32:20.840 --> 01:32:26.920
Perhaps that's the norm because you know things like Sainsbury's

1282
01:32:28.000 --> 01:32:31.640
they have their own brand, but they also sell popular

1283
01:32:31.680 --> 01:32:36.720
brands as well. Maybe Markus Spencer's don't do that, but

1284
01:32:36.760 --> 01:32:40.880
I thought they did. I thought they sold both. Hmm,

1285
01:32:41.479 --> 01:32:46.000
I'm not sure anyway, this one doesn't seem to. So

1286
01:32:46.039 --> 01:32:49.800
I'm looking for maybe just some some corn flakes or

1287
01:32:49.840 --> 01:32:54.520
something like that, and I end up in this corner

1288
01:32:54.560 --> 01:33:00.439
where they've got marks and Spencer's home brand. This gets

1289
01:33:00.520 --> 01:33:04.079
like we a BIS and I think good. Another one

1290
01:33:04.199 --> 01:33:08.640
is like Mooseley something like that. But there's this smell.

1291
01:33:10.359 --> 01:33:13.600
It's not on, it's not on. It's not a horrible

1292
01:33:13.640 --> 01:33:17.319
smell or anything, but it's like a foody kind of smell.

1293
01:33:21.720 --> 01:33:29.039
It felt very familiar, but from the past. It's very strange.

1294
01:33:30.079 --> 01:33:34.640
I had a very unusual feeling like I smelled that before,

1295
01:33:36.800 --> 01:33:42.000
but it's a long, long, long time ago. And I

1296
01:33:42.119 --> 01:33:46.439
just stood there for a second just thinking, hm hmm,

1297
01:33:47.680 --> 01:33:55.439
how strange. In fact, when I visit next time, I

1298
01:33:55.520 --> 01:33:57.199
might go in there and just have a little sniff

1299
01:33:58.000 --> 01:34:03.680
a game. It's a little like hmm, because it's going

1300
01:34:03.720 --> 01:34:06.439
to bug me. I kind of want to know what

1301
01:34:06.479 --> 01:34:12.159
that reminds me of, because it there was emotions connect

1302
01:34:12.159 --> 01:34:18.600
to it, emotions connect to it, emotions connected to it.

1303
01:34:18.800 --> 01:34:21.199
I'm not sure if I've been talking correctly anymore.

1304
01:34:22.920 --> 01:34:24.319
Oh so tired.

1305
01:34:32.680 --> 01:34:36.279
So that's it. Really, that's the updated version of where

1306
01:34:36.279 --> 01:34:39.640
I've been and why I have not made any recordings

1307
01:34:39.720 --> 01:34:44.920
this week since Friday, I think, so I didn't do

1308
01:34:44.960 --> 01:34:53.560
anything Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Today's Tuesday. Yeah, I don't know.

1309
01:34:55.399 --> 01:34:58.560
I can't even really predict if I'm going to make

1310
01:34:58.600 --> 01:35:03.479
any more recordings this week. It's just hard to know.

1311
01:35:04.399 --> 01:35:11.359
So probably no Q and a Friday, and hopefully fingers

1312
01:35:11.399 --> 01:35:14.720
crossed and get back to be doing a normal week

1313
01:35:14.840 --> 01:35:20.960
next week. But I don't know. It's I'm kind of

1314
01:35:21.000 --> 01:35:26.920
surprised that I was able to do a recording today,

1315
01:35:28.039 --> 01:35:29.920
but up till now, I just haven't been able to.

1316
01:35:30.000 --> 01:35:33.159
I just it's just been around so many people. It's

1317
01:35:33.720 --> 01:35:39.439
I just find it very draining. I just do I

1318
01:35:39.479 --> 01:35:44.680
always have done, and it's I can thrive off it

1319
01:35:44.760 --> 01:35:51.960
for a while. But then after, you know, after a

1320
01:35:52.039 --> 01:35:56.000
couple of hours or an hour or two, I was like, oh,

1321
01:35:56.039 --> 01:35:59.279
and then after four or five hours of being out,

1322
01:36:00.079 --> 01:36:02.800
you know, I'm nearly fallen asleep on the bus back

1323
01:36:03.479 --> 01:36:10.079
today or in a taxi back. And technically, you know,

1324
01:36:10.119 --> 01:36:14.760
I've not really I've not done anything physical. I've not technic,

1325
01:36:14.800 --> 01:36:17.159
I mean literally, I've not done anything physical other than

1326
01:36:17.319 --> 01:36:22.319
just a little, pretty a bit more walking than normal,

1327
01:36:23.000 --> 01:36:25.600
because just walking around as hospitals is probably more than

1328
01:36:25.640 --> 01:36:30.560
I do when I take in for a walk. Big

1329
01:36:30.560 --> 01:36:37.159
old places, an't they And that's it. Really, that's pretty

1330
01:36:37.239 --> 01:36:41.880
much the update, there's there's I'm sure there's other stuff

1331
01:36:41.880 --> 01:36:45.319
that's happened that I've not thought about or that I

1332
01:36:45.439 --> 01:36:50.840
was thinking about, and I haven't remembered I as one

1333
01:36:50.960 --> 01:36:53.399
as one thing. Where As these two nurses came in

1334
01:36:53.520 --> 01:36:55.880
and asked one of the other patients if they could

1335
01:36:55.920 --> 01:37:01.000
borrow her this his skin cream because she had sunburn.

1336
01:37:01.920 --> 01:37:03.800
And I said, you're a sunburn She said, oheah, look

1337
01:37:03.800 --> 01:37:09.000
at this because she had a costume, a uniform one.

1338
01:37:09.159 --> 01:37:11.960
And she showed me a picture and it was like

1339
01:37:13.199 --> 01:37:16.000
her back and showed her where it was like sunburn

1340
01:37:16.039 --> 01:37:23.680
on her back and I said, oh, okay, and she's

1341
01:37:23.680 --> 01:37:26.960
holding it. She looked at me. I said next picture, please,

1342
01:37:27.960 --> 01:37:31.960
and they laughed. Thankfully, they didn't show me another picture.

1343
01:37:32.000 --> 01:37:36.640
But it was just I thought, at least I can't

1344
01:37:36.640 --> 01:37:38.920
get away with it still, because that's this kind of

1345
01:37:38.920 --> 01:37:41.039
stuff I used to say when I was younger. Maybe

1346
01:37:41.039 --> 01:37:43.159
I get away with it now because I'm so old

1347
01:37:43.199 --> 01:37:45.520
and they're just looking at me like a grand like

1348
01:37:45.600 --> 01:37:51.840
a grandfather or something. But it was nice. It was

1349
01:37:51.880 --> 01:37:55.680
just it was I'm not saying looking at the picture

1350
01:37:55.800 --> 01:38:01.680
was nice. It's just nice to have that friendliness. And

1351
01:38:02.039 --> 01:38:05.800
they've all been friendly. Everyone I've met at the hospital

1352
01:38:05.840 --> 01:38:15.600
has been very friendly, and it says cool. And that

1353
01:38:15.840 --> 01:38:20.560
is the end of this. Or are recording, so as a summary,

1354
01:38:20.800 --> 01:38:25.800
the website is back up and running. I will edit

1355
01:38:25.840 --> 01:38:31.239
this tomorrow. I'll try and do it when I wake up.

1356
01:38:31.760 --> 01:38:37.960
I don't know when I'm going to wake up. It

1357
01:38:38.000 --> 01:38:41.079
won't be early early, because it may be getting on

1358
01:38:41.119 --> 01:38:43.960
to eleven o'clock now, I don't know how long i've

1359
01:38:44.000 --> 01:38:46.680
been talking for. If that'll let me have a look,

1360
01:38:46.760 --> 01:38:52.039
if I can do it about it's twenty past eleven

1361
01:38:53.640 --> 01:38:57.680
and I've been talking for ninety nine. I've been talking

1362
01:38:57.720 --> 01:39:08.239
for one hundred minutes. What's that hour and forty minutes? See, yeah,

1363
01:39:08.239 --> 01:39:10.159
I've thought I started at ten. I've thought I started

1364
01:39:10.159 --> 01:39:14.720
at nine. Could have done one hundred minutes, So sixty

1365
01:39:15.159 --> 01:39:19.880
seventy eighty ninety one hundred an hour and forty Okay,

1366
01:39:20.800 --> 01:39:27.239
So that's it. Thank you for listening, and remember to

1367
01:39:27.279 --> 01:39:29.600
be kind to yourself because you do deserve to be

1368
01:39:29.640 --> 01:39:34.640
happy and be gentle with yourself. You deserve to feel safe,

1369
01:39:36.680 --> 01:39:55.000
lots of love. Bye. Relax in a more deep and

1370
01:39:56.680 --> 01:40:04.039
meaningful way, maybe in a way that can not just

1371
01:40:04.319 --> 01:40:14.439
allow you to feel calmer now and throughout the time

1372
01:40:15.119 --> 01:40:23.479
we spend together here, not just relaxed at the end

1373
01:40:23.520 --> 01:40:27.960
of the recording when it's finished and you can enjoy

1374
01:40:28.159 --> 01:40:45.520
that sense of comfort and peace, but also I think

1375
01:40:45.600 --> 01:40:56.800
it would be nice to have those feelings of relaxation

1376
01:40:59.119 --> 01:41:13.359
continue for longer after the recording has ended, so that

1377
01:41:13.479 --> 01:41:25.880
you can still benefit from listening to my voice, maybe

1378
01:41:26.000 --> 01:41:37.359
in a few hours time, perhaps tomorrow, and then by

1379
01:41:37.479 --> 01:41:45.439
listening regularly, especially if you find like some people do,

1380
01:41:45.800 --> 01:41:49.479
and myself as well, I sometimes I find one particular

1381
01:41:49.560 --> 01:41:59.600
recording that really resonates with me, and I just listen

1382
01:41:59.680 --> 01:42:05.000
to it over and over again every morning, every evening.

1383
01:42:12.640 --> 01:42:17.279
There was this recording from We're going back to about

1384
01:42:17.399 --> 01:42:22.680
nineteen ninety nine. It wasn't hypnosis, but it was a

1385
01:42:22.760 --> 01:42:32.239
guided visualizations. It kind of was hypnosis, really, and I

1386
01:42:32.319 --> 01:42:35.600
managed to find it again and it still has the

1387
01:42:35.640 --> 01:42:44.840
same effect on me. And part of it was the

1388
01:42:44.960 --> 01:42:58.199
person's voice relaxed me, just felt so peaceful, and I'd

1389
01:42:58.279 --> 01:43:04.880
look forward to listen then to her in the morning

1390
01:43:05.319 --> 01:43:16.399
and in the evening. And I knew before even pressing

1391
01:43:16.520 --> 01:43:24.479
the play button that since I've done that, pressed the

1392
01:43:24.520 --> 01:43:33.640
play button This was in the days of CD players

1393
01:43:36.560 --> 01:43:42.079
pressed the play button. In fact, it might have even

1394
01:43:42.119 --> 01:43:46.319
been a tape tape recorder. I'd lie down on the

1395
01:43:46.359 --> 01:44:00.119
bed and then even without necessarily listening to her words, ye,

1396
01:44:03.119 --> 01:44:12.439
because I had to memorized. Really, it was as if

1397
01:44:12.520 --> 01:44:23.720
my body knew exactly what to do, and the muscles

1398
01:44:24.000 --> 01:44:45.359
just almost went into automatic relaxation, and I remember my

1399
01:44:45.520 --> 01:44:59.439
mind would slow down. Now. Now, I was listening to

1400
01:44:59.479 --> 01:45:08.760
this recause in the early days of learning hypnosis, and

1401
01:45:09.000 --> 01:45:17.920
long before I ever made any videos or audio recordings myself,

1402
01:45:19.119 --> 01:45:22.479
because I didn't start doing that till two thousand and six.

1403
01:45:29.239 --> 01:45:45.039
But I knew, I knew how helpful I found being

1404
01:45:45.079 --> 01:45:54.279
able to just let go, to have that trust in

1405
01:45:54.359 --> 01:46:04.760
the person that I'm listening to, knowing that it's going

1406
01:46:04.840 --> 01:46:15.359
to be just as relaxing, if not more so. Each

1407
01:46:15.479 --> 01:46:22.079
time you hear my voice, you may feel the same.

1408
01:46:28.439 --> 01:46:43.119
Some people have been listening to me for over a decade,

1409
01:46:43.880 --> 01:46:47.920
maybe not solidly, obviously not twenty four hours a day,

1410
01:46:49.640 --> 01:46:56.159
but maybe people come back. Some people may be listen

1411
01:46:56.279 --> 01:47:12.840
every day. And something that I do which you may

1412
01:47:12.960 --> 01:47:33.920
not realize by listening, is when I record these recordings. Now,

1413
01:47:34.039 --> 01:47:46.560
for example, I also am affected by the words that

1414
01:47:46.680 --> 01:47:58.880
I say. So if I set you focus on your feet,

1415
01:48:01.399 --> 01:48:09.119
notice your feet relaxing, I will be focusing on my feet.

1416
01:48:14.000 --> 01:48:31.399
I will be noticing my feet relaxing. If I said,

1417
01:48:31.560 --> 01:48:39.239
focus on your hands, and maybe notice the difference between

1418
01:48:39.279 --> 01:48:49.560
each hand, perhaps notice the the air in the room,

1419
01:48:50.039 --> 01:48:54.880
the temperature of the room. On the backs of your hands.

1420
01:49:02.680 --> 01:49:06.600
You may start to notice what almost feels like a

1421
01:49:06.720 --> 01:49:15.119
very light breeze, even though there may not be any

1422
01:49:15.159 --> 01:49:23.479
type of breeze at all where you are right now.

1423
01:49:28.239 --> 01:49:38.880
And as you become aware of your hands, I'm also

1424
01:49:39.199 --> 01:50:07.399
aware of how relaxed my hands are feeling now. And

1425
01:50:07.600 --> 01:50:14.520
when it comes to potentially drifting off to sleep, which

1426
01:50:14.600 --> 01:50:27.760
may be the reason you're listening, I also feel drowsy

1427
01:50:30.960 --> 01:50:46.199
when I make these recordings. I also notice my mind drifting.

1428
01:50:52.319 --> 01:51:04.960
In fact, at times I've actually fallen asleep without even noticing,

1429
01:51:09.800 --> 01:51:18.960
and then I carry on talking. And it's only when

1430
01:51:19.239 --> 01:51:28.319
I listen back to do the editing I hear snoring

1431
01:51:30.239 --> 01:51:39.399
and I think I don't remember snoring. I remember talking.

1432
01:51:40.399 --> 01:51:47.600
This snoring was a pig turned up. That's why I

1433
01:51:47.680 --> 01:51:55.800
sound like when I snare and I get really into

1434
01:51:55.880 --> 01:52:15.239
the whole experience. I don't know how you feel, how

1435
01:52:15.319 --> 01:52:26.199
relaxed you feel in your feet, how relaxed you feel

1436
01:52:26.359 --> 01:52:53.000
in your hands. I have noticed more and more that

1437
01:52:53.199 --> 01:53:09.359
the more relaxed, deeper level of comfort you feel, the

1438
01:53:09.560 --> 01:53:30.159
easier your breathing becomes. It's almost like that additional muscle relaxation.

1439
01:53:34.520 --> 01:53:55.520
So this allows you to breathe easier without necessarily focusing

1440
01:53:57.720 --> 01:54:23.319
on your breath, however, being able to notice the ease

1441
01:54:26.720 --> 01:54:53.319
in which you breathe so naturally, you breathe so very

1442
01:54:53.560 --> 01:55:42.279
easily and smoothly. Whenever I imagine my breathing improving. When

1443
01:55:42.319 --> 01:55:57.640
I've got my eyes closed, I tend to visualize a

1444
01:55:57.760 --> 01:56:14.279
beautiful field with trees and flowers producing all that life

1445
01:56:14.439 --> 01:56:50.039
giving oxygen. It feels nice to, if nothing else, just

1446
01:56:50.520 --> 01:57:24.560
taking some time away from everything, enjoying that feeling of

1447
01:57:28.479 --> 01:58:15.319
peace serenity with a joyful heart. Time seems to just

1448
01:58:17.159 --> 01:59:01.199
drip by, so very slowly, relaxed, so deeply peaceful, completely

1449
01:59:07.079 --> 02:00:08.760
unattached to any thoughts whatsoever in this moment, completely free,

1450
02:00:09.560 --> 02:01:00.920
noticing that your mind has slowed down. Slowed down because

1451
02:01:01.079 --> 02:01:29.680
nothing really requires your attention, You can enjoy the physical

1452
02:01:30.000 --> 02:01:47.159
sensations of allowing the stress to drip out of your body,

1453
02:01:48.119 --> 02:02:11.960
to appear out of every part of your body, being

1454
02:02:12.319 --> 02:02:51.039
released from your brain in your mind, slowly but surely,

1455
02:02:57.880 --> 02:03:45.720
the muscles singually relax x really, so very deeply, relax

1456
02:03:50.920 --> 02:04:16.319
so deeply, And the feelings, the pleasant feelings in your

1457
02:04:16.640 --> 02:04:44.439
arms and shoulders, deepening each part of your body further

1458
02:04:49.399 --> 02:05:22.720
and deeper and deeper. Noticing the feelings in the back

1459
02:05:22.800 --> 02:06:25.159
of your neck, feelings in your wrists, muscles, in front

1460
02:06:25.239 --> 02:07:19.000
of your body, I all say, feeling peaceful deeply, there's

1461
02:07:19.000 --> 02:08:00.399
a sense of peace spreads through your fairy core. Even

1462
02:08:00.560 --> 02:08:27.479
when you focus on your mind. Your mind becomes eve

1463
02:08:27.640 --> 02:09:49.680
and slower, even deeper, relaxing, so very slow, his stomach,

1464
02:10:03.800 --> 02:10:45.800
peace fall in your stomach. You're back. Notice, Notice how

1465
02:10:46.039 --> 02:11:03.960
relaxed you'd never feel in the hole of your back.

1466
02:11:29.159 --> 02:11:38.319
You spy from your brain all the way down the

1467
02:11:38.359 --> 02:11:49.039
middle of your back, sending and receiving millions of messages

1468
02:11:49.800 --> 02:13:20.800
every day, deep comfort, increasing deeply relaxed uns legs, spreading

1469
02:13:21.000 --> 02:13:30.079
those signals down a spine or cord into air. Every

1470
02:13:30.359 --> 02:13:51.000
part of your body, your chins and your calf muscles

1471
02:14:16.279 --> 02:14:45.840
were elbows feelings of peace and tranquility spreading through your body,

1472
02:14:50.840 --> 02:15:07.079
tips of your toes, to your eyes, your fingers, all

1473
02:15:07.079 --> 02:15:53.039
the way till you lower back, letting her reatinker please,

1474
02:16:08.720 --> 02:16:39.360
drifting mind just wandering away, happy to let go, let

1475
02:16:39.399 --> 02:17:44.879
go completely, let go, so tranquil, the whole body enjoying

1476
02:17:44.879 --> 02:18:11.479
a sense listening God.

1477
02:18:14.799 --> 02:18:16.920
He for more.

1478
02:19:25.040 --> 02:20:39.559
Peece joining the space, this space of peace and safety,

1479
02:20:41.840 --> 02:22:44.399
so very relaxed, letting go. Maybe we can just focus

1480
02:22:44.760 --> 02:23:18.559
on the different parts of your body, just to notice

1481
02:23:19.520 --> 02:24:21.840
a foelhead and your eyes it tuo so loose, noticing

1482
02:24:22.040 --> 02:25:54.399
the sense of complete freedom, absolute freedom, rif drift, pea's

1483
02:25:54.799 --> 02:27:41.479
fall energy peace to breathe so much easier loose. You

1484
02:27:41.680 --> 02:27:56.319
may have or may not have noticed your mind drifting

1485
02:28:30.799 --> 02:29:00.799
peaceful many even more deeply in the direction of total

1486
02:29:05.440 --> 02:30:30.799
bliss for pace, bliss for pace, terreft to to pace

1487
02:30:55.520 --> 02:32:11.280
come so calm, letting go, peace with mind relaxed forty

1488
02:32:14.360 --> 02:33:11.600
so relaxed, relaxed. Your body feels almost invisible, so the

1489
02:33:11.799 --> 02:34:31.760
very relaxed. I'm peaceful, so peace relax liqua, and you

1490
02:34:31.799 --> 02:34:39.000
could start to notice that you are feeling more relaxed,

1491
02:34:41.959 --> 02:34:51.799
even though I've not purposely focused your mind upon that

1492
02:34:53.079 --> 02:34:59.200
sense of physical comfort that is growing within you throughout

1493
02:34:59.239 --> 02:35:12.120
your body, and your mind starts to slow down, and

1494
02:35:12.200 --> 02:35:19.719
that could be almost in recognition of I guess my

1495
02:35:19.920 --> 02:35:34.799
speech not being particularly fast, and things just generally feel calmer.

1496
02:35:38.200 --> 02:35:46.159
Just by listening to my voice, you give yourself an

1497
02:35:46.239 --> 02:35:54.239
opportunity to take a break from the day, take a

1498
02:35:54.280 --> 02:36:01.959
break from your life as it is, and to give

1499
02:36:02.000 --> 02:36:10.440
yourself a rest, giving yourself permission to take some time off,

1500
02:36:12.680 --> 02:36:18.079
and to allow your body to relax and allow your

1501
02:36:18.200 --> 02:36:28.840
mind to slow down, which in turn releases the tension

1502
02:36:30.239 --> 02:36:39.000
and he stresses that you had in your body. It's

1503
02:36:39.040 --> 02:36:43.639
almost as if the parts of your body just open up,

1504
02:36:44.920 --> 02:36:56.559
allowing the negativity out and at the same time replacing

1505
02:36:57.399 --> 02:37:06.719
that negativity with positive of heathing energy, which then fills

1506
02:37:06.760 --> 02:37:15.639
your body up and your mind to also starts to

1507
02:37:18.079 --> 02:37:33.079
appreciate those feelings of increasing confidence, an almost uplifting feeling,

1508
02:37:35.120 --> 02:37:49.159
positive healing, an energy that spreads through your body like

1509
02:37:49.239 --> 02:37:59.559
a wave of comfort. And all this comes from just

1510
02:38:03.120 --> 02:38:11.920
allowing yourself a few minutes, maybe half an hour, however

1511
02:38:12.000 --> 02:38:21.719
long you want it to be, to just rest and

1512
02:38:21.879 --> 02:38:31.920
allow your mind and your body to almost reset itself

1513
02:38:34.760 --> 02:38:50.559
to the settings of comfort and relaxation, calmness, which allows

1514
02:38:50.879 --> 02:39:03.639
more room for feelings of pleasure and happiness to move

1515
02:39:04.159 --> 02:39:12.959
around your body and into your mind, almost as if

1516
02:39:13.000 --> 02:39:22.799
your mind and your body are sinking together, almost mirroring

1517
02:39:23.600 --> 02:39:36.520
each other with that growing positivity and calmness, And it

1518
02:39:36.559 --> 02:39:44.239
feels nice. It really does feel nice to know that

1519
02:39:44.319 --> 02:39:53.520
you are the one that has allowed yourself to feel

1520
02:39:53.959 --> 02:40:02.079
more comfort and to experience.

1521
02:40:03.879 --> 02:40:05.200
More of this.

1522
02:40:06.799 --> 02:40:22.360
Deep relaxation spreading throughout your body. And as I focus

1523
02:40:23.520 --> 02:40:29.520
on each part of your body, you can notice that

1524
02:40:29.520 --> 02:40:46.600
that part becomes even more relaxed just by focusing on it.

1525
02:40:46.600 --> 02:40:56.280
It becomes even more calm and comfortable just by focusing.

1526
02:41:00.280 --> 02:41:06.079
And as I move down your body, starting at your head,

1527
02:41:08.760 --> 02:41:15.479
the parts that you've already focused on will continue to

1528
02:41:15.639 --> 02:41:23.280
relax deeply, and those parts that we've not yet focused

1529
02:41:23.319 --> 02:41:36.719
on or just automatically release any remaining tension in anticipation

1530
02:41:37.079 --> 02:41:50.120
of even more comfort about to come. Now, I'm going

1531
02:41:50.159 --> 02:41:57.120
to start by focusing on your forehead. Just being aware

1532
02:41:57.719 --> 02:42:07.840
the feelings of your forehead and any background sounds like

1533
02:42:08.040 --> 02:42:13.200
mister Herbert the Pigeon, can just allow you to feel

1534
02:42:13.280 --> 02:42:23.319
even more relaxed. Just means you're in the moment. This

1535
02:42:23.399 --> 02:42:30.280
isn't this isn't a sterile environment. This is the world.

1536
02:42:32.000 --> 02:42:38.079
I live in the countryside, so there's lots of nature

1537
02:42:38.559 --> 02:42:49.079
sounds around. So as you focus on your forehead, just

1538
02:42:49.319 --> 02:42:57.719
notice how it becomes even more relaxed as you focus

1539
02:42:59.399 --> 02:43:05.840
only on my voice and that part of your body.

1540
02:43:09.079 --> 02:43:18.799
Moving down to your eyes, Focusing on your eyes, noticing

1541
02:43:19.840 --> 02:43:29.559
how your eyelids feel so heavy yet so light at

1542
02:43:29.600 --> 02:43:36.040
the same time, and all the muscles around your eyes

1543
02:43:36.280 --> 02:43:50.760
relaxing completely. Moving your focus down to your mouth, your lips,

1544
02:43:51.200 --> 02:43:57.840
your tongue, your teeth, and your gumbs, the whole of

1545
02:43:57.959 --> 02:44:12.959
your mouth relaxing, calm and lease. As you focus now

1546
02:44:13.600 --> 02:44:20.440
on your jaw, not just the parts of your jaw

1547
02:44:20.600 --> 02:44:25.040
near your mouth and your chin, but all the way

1548
02:44:25.120 --> 02:44:31.479
up the size of your face to your ears, that

1549
02:44:31.719 --> 02:44:43.239
hole of your jaw feeding more relaxed.

1550
02:44:46.600 --> 02:44:55.280
And calm.

1551
02:44:55.479 --> 02:45:04.639
Focusing on your neck, the front of your neck and

1552
02:45:04.680 --> 02:45:17.719
your throat relaxing and loose and calm. The side of

1553
02:45:17.799 --> 02:45:23.120
your neck, the right and left side of your neck,

1554
02:45:26.040 --> 02:45:29.559
relax and loose.

1555
02:45:33.239 --> 02:45:40.000
And calm.

1556
02:45:40.399 --> 02:45:47.239
And now the back of your neck, focusing on the

1557
02:45:47.319 --> 02:45:57.760
back of your neck, letting go of any tension that

1558
02:45:57.920 --> 02:46:01.639
may have been there before, and.

1559
02:46:02.200 --> 02:46:15.879
Enjoying that sense of increasing comfort and release that you

1560
02:46:16.000 --> 02:46:26.799
can experience in the back of your neck, moving down

1561
02:46:27.239 --> 02:46:34.600
your back and moving either side of your spine right

1562
02:46:34.639 --> 02:46:39.639
from the top of your back all the way down

1563
02:46:40.239 --> 02:46:52.680
to the bottom of your back down to your lower back,

1564
02:46:57.719 --> 02:47:04.760
and as you move up and down your spine, you

1565
02:47:04.840 --> 02:47:12.000
can feel the muscles either side of your spine relaxing

1566
02:47:12.680 --> 02:47:26.079
even more. And as those muscles relax, that sense of

1567
02:47:26.319 --> 02:47:37.040
comfort starts to spread outwards from your spine into both

1568
02:47:37.200 --> 02:47:44.799
sides of your back, the top of your back, the middle,

1569
02:47:44.879 --> 02:47:53.399
and your lower back. And as you scan gently and

1570
02:47:53.959 --> 02:48:01.440
slowly up and down your back, muscles in the top

1571
02:48:01.520 --> 02:48:11.239
of your back relax and become looser. The muscles in

1572
02:48:11.319 --> 02:48:17.719
the middle of your back also seem to just almost

1573
02:48:18.000 --> 02:48:32.040
divide from each other, separating and almost melting, and in

1574
02:48:32.120 --> 02:48:38.799
your lower back it seems to be an extra special

1575
02:48:39.040 --> 02:48:54.760
feeling of comfort. The spreads into your hips, so down

1576
02:48:54.799 --> 02:49:02.879
your lower back, into your hips, into the area where

1577
02:49:02.920 --> 02:49:11.479
your cosis are, and into your buttocks, and all those

1578
02:49:11.600 --> 02:49:20.879
muscles that spread from your lower back into your hip

1579
02:49:20.959 --> 02:49:40.600
area start to melt, start to really let go, and

1580
02:49:40.600 --> 02:49:47.319
don't even nowhere about to focus on your shoulders. Your

1581
02:49:47.520 --> 02:49:58.879
back and your spine will continue to let go, continue

1582
02:49:59.000 --> 02:50:12.920
to relax ks so calmly. And as you focus on

1583
02:50:12.959 --> 02:50:25.920
your shoulders, you may notice that they're already feeding, really loose,

1584
02:50:30.680 --> 02:50:57.120
they're already feeding calm and feeling those muscles the move

1585
02:50:57.520 --> 02:51:09.280
from your neck in to your shoulders feel so soft

1586
02:51:12.520 --> 02:51:38.399
and gentle, so smooth and calm. The feeding in your

1587
02:51:38.479 --> 02:51:53.680
shoulders seens to spread deep into your shoulders, that sense

1588
02:51:53.760 --> 02:52:05.760
of relaxation, not just traveling deeply into your muscles, but

1589
02:52:06.040 --> 02:52:18.879
also relaxing the bones and moving all the way to

1590
02:52:19.120 --> 02:52:28.120
underneath your arms, relaxing that whole area between the tops

1591
02:52:28.159 --> 02:52:42.239
of your shoulders and underneath your arms. He Then you

1592
02:52:42.360 --> 02:52:55.920
feel so relaxed and comfortable in your shoulders, which sends

1593
02:52:56.200 --> 02:53:17.680
that deep heating message into your arms, and you may

1594
02:53:17.920 --> 02:53:23.200
feel almost as if your arms are not even there

1595
02:53:24.719 --> 02:54:16.440
because they're so relaxed, so deeply relaxed, so so calm.

1596
02:54:01.719 --> 02:54:01.879
So.

1597
02:54:08.559 --> 02:54:23.639
Loose, not feeling spreading all the way down your arms

1598
02:54:26.319 --> 02:54:55.440
to elbows, including your elbows circumforts spreads or away into

1599
02:54:55.440 --> 02:55:11.319
your wrists. Your four farments and your wrists being so heavy,

1600
02:55:13.680 --> 02:55:55.000
yet at the same time so light and gentle. Focusing

1601
02:55:57.479 --> 02:55:59.040
now on.

1602
02:56:01.159 --> 02:56:25.360
Your hands, my hands.

1603
02:56:31.079 --> 02:56:33.920
So peaceful.

1604
02:56:34.959 --> 02:56:36.120
In your hands.

1605
02:56:54.600 --> 02:57:18.239
It's is sense real peace. It just seems to feel

1606
02:57:20.479 --> 02:57:56.479
so familiar when your hands relax deeply, m ees your

1607
02:57:56.600 --> 02:59:34.879
thingers you things sadly, your finger tips, moving your attention

1608
02:59:36.280 --> 03:00:03.920
to the front of your body, so comfortable, move on

1609
03:00:04.200 --> 03:00:05.760
your focus.

1610
03:00:07.079 --> 03:00:08.360
Your legs.

1611
03:01:26.760 --> 03:01:54.040
A lot, muscles in your thighs, your knees so relaxed,

1612
03:02:21.360 --> 03:04:29.600
the carve muscles and just shains a pusy four and

1613
03:04:29.799 --> 03:04:51.079
the faathing and your feet so peaceful, so calm, so peaceful,

1614
03:04:58.200 --> 03:05:51.680
so calm, so peaceful, so calm, so peace for re

1615
03:05:52.959 --> 03:06:00.440
sin peace for oh.

1616
03:06:03.639 --> 03:06:04.760
So calm.

1617
03:06:12.559 --> 03:06:19.719
Allowing that deep relaxation to spread your chest and your

1618
03:06:19.879 --> 03:06:50.959
stomach so real, letting go of everything. So I'm gonna

1619
03:06:51.000 --> 03:07:02.879
start counting down now, from twenty down to one. You

1620
03:07:02.920 --> 03:07:06.399
can imagine in a way it's like just walking down

1621
03:07:06.559 --> 03:07:12.280
some steps and each step or twenty steps, and each

1622
03:07:12.440 --> 03:07:25.120
step represents a level of comfort, each step represents a

1623
03:07:25.360 --> 03:07:37.840
deepening of that comfort. And the vervies you walk down

1624
03:07:37.920 --> 03:07:50.120
those steps, the deeper and more relaxed you feel. So

1625
03:07:50.760 --> 03:11:40.680
starting with number twenty twenty, nineteen, eighteen, seventeen, sixteen three

1626
03:12:23.440 --> 03:18:49.680
four four see too well five eight nine eight.

1627
03:19:49.280 --> 03:23:35.319
Seven six five us.

1628
03:24:01.559 --> 03:27:40.079
Four one.

1629
03:28:29.639 --> 03:28:30.280
And now.

1630
03:28:34.719 --> 03:28:47.399
As you focus on your eyes, we're gonna count down

1631
03:28:47.799 --> 03:29:03.520
from ten douts one, focusing just on your eyes, your eyelids,

1632
03:29:04.000 --> 03:29:12.719
the muscles around your eyes, your eye walls themselves, a

1633
03:29:12.959 --> 03:29:29.840
whole area that makes up your eye. And as we

1634
03:29:30.079 --> 03:29:38.639
count down from ten down to one, whilst focusing on

1635
03:29:38.799 --> 03:29:54.760
your eyes, you'll become twice is relaxed with each number

1636
03:29:55.760 --> 03:30:07.360
counting down that you may find the all you want

1637
03:30:07.479 --> 03:30:16.319
to do is just drift off to sleep. And if

1638
03:30:16.520 --> 03:30:29.959
that's what you want, then just allow yourself to do that. Now,

1639
03:30:32.920 --> 03:30:38.879
focus in on your eyes. I'm going to begin counting

1640
03:30:39.040 --> 03:31:22.760
down from ten down to one right now, ten nine

1641
03:31:57.120 --> 03:33:50.520
eight seven y.

1642
03:34:54.879 --> 03:37:06.920
Five four.

1643
03:37:19.520 --> 03:40:10.520
Three two one. So counting down from ten to one

1644
03:40:12.559 --> 03:40:36.840
ten nine eight seven six five four three two one.

1645
03:40:43.879 --> 03:40:46.760
And maybe that was a bit too quick in order

1646
03:40:46.840 --> 03:40:50.760
to relax. Maybe it's a bit too fast for you

1647
03:40:51.120 --> 03:41:00.799
to notice the calming of your body, maybe even a

1648
03:41:00.840 --> 03:41:04.680
little bit of pressure there, like you're counting down from

1649
03:41:04.760 --> 03:41:07.440
ten to one. Would you expect me to do? Man?

1650
03:41:08.360 --> 03:41:12.920
Expect me to stick gold floppy, just because you're counting down.

1651
03:41:18.520 --> 03:41:21.799
We could try it again, but this time I go

1652
03:41:21.959 --> 03:41:22.600
this lower.

1653
03:41:24.840 --> 03:41:29.680
This time, as you focus on the whole of your

1654
03:41:29.760 --> 03:41:38.079
body before we focus on your legs. Just notice how

1655
03:41:38.200 --> 03:41:52.280
your body does start to feel more relaxed with every

1656
03:41:52.440 --> 03:42:52.600
number that I count down ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three,

1657
03:43:06.120 --> 03:43:43.840
two one, And just notice how how you feel generally,

1658
03:43:44.239 --> 03:43:55.639
how your body feels. It's not necessarily even about yeah,

1659
03:43:58.159 --> 03:44:05.360
counting down from ten to one. It's that space that

1660
03:44:05.520 --> 03:44:24.239
you have, that space between being active physically or mentally

1661
03:44:25.239 --> 03:44:34.120
to just sitting or lying down, just being there, not

1662
03:44:34.639 --> 03:44:40.440
doing anything, not saying anything, or needing to think about anything.

1663
03:44:42.280 --> 03:44:45.959
So it opens up a space, you know, a bit

1664
03:44:46.000 --> 03:44:56.799
of a space, a gap. And the more I came

1665
03:44:56.920 --> 03:45:01.440
down from ten to one, the bigger that gap becomes.

1666
03:45:04.479 --> 03:45:16.959
So there's that gap of calmness, of comfort, relaxation. It's

1667
03:45:17.000 --> 03:45:30.639
a nice feeling, and it moves those stresses or discomforts

1668
03:45:30.719 --> 03:45:46.719
physically or emotionally, moves them away. Allows you to just

1669
03:45:49.760 --> 03:45:56.479
slow down, someone to count again from ten down to one,

1670
03:45:56.920 --> 03:46:07.120
and notice that gap widening, the gap, And as it widens,

1671
03:46:07.200 --> 03:46:13.239
it's almost like the thestress and attention falls into the

1672
03:46:13.319 --> 03:46:38.799
gap and gives you that distance, that space. Now ten

1673
03:46:43.360 --> 03:47:34.799
nine eight, seven, six, five, four.

1674
03:47:52.840 --> 03:48:09.840
Three two.

1675
03:48:28.079 --> 03:48:28.319
One.

1676
03:48:40.239 --> 03:48:41.000
How does your.

1677
03:48:43.040 --> 03:49:01.959
Body feel now? Can you notice step? Do you feel

1678
03:49:02.000 --> 03:49:38.399
in calmer? Do you feeling more relaxed as we now

1679
03:49:38.600 --> 03:49:58.920
focus on your legs, just your legs. We're just gonna

1680
03:49:59.360 --> 03:50:18.760
start with focusing on your thighs. Of course, it's not

1681
03:50:18.879 --> 03:50:27.360
the most exciting thing to be doing, because I'm sure

1682
03:50:27.479 --> 03:50:30.079
like most of your body is not a lot going

1683
03:50:30.159 --> 03:50:42.799
on right now. Just focusing on the whole of your thighs,

1684
03:50:45.639 --> 03:50:49.360
the tops of your thighs, the sides of your thighs,

1685
03:50:51.559 --> 03:50:56.040
the bottoms of your thighs, your outer thighs, and you're

1686
03:50:56.159 --> 03:51:01.399
inner thighs. Basically the whole of your thigh that leads

1687
03:51:02.440 --> 03:51:17.959
into your hip and it goes down to your knee joint. Now,

1688
03:51:18.040 --> 03:51:25.079
this is a big area. It's a very heavy area.

1689
03:51:25.559 --> 03:51:31.559
It's very strong, probably the strongest muscles in your body

1690
03:51:32.280 --> 03:51:46.559
or in your thighs. But I don't think we perhaps

1691
03:51:48.559 --> 03:52:01.280
give enough attention to our thighs. Perhaps we don't acknowledge

1692
03:52:01.959 --> 03:52:21.319
how important our thighs are to our lives, how much

1693
03:52:23.959 --> 03:52:37.440
they actually do for us all through our lives. And

1694
03:52:37.600 --> 03:52:43.280
it may seem to sound really weird, but I think

1695
03:52:43.360 --> 03:52:50.280
that all of our body parts, especially our thighs, need

1696
03:52:50.479 --> 03:53:04.920
some TLC, a bit of love shown, a bit of acknowledgement,

1697
03:53:07.680 --> 03:53:16.719
thank you, gratitude for what our thighs do for us.

1698
03:53:23.280 --> 03:53:28.920
And I know this may sound a bit strange. Maybe

1699
03:53:28.959 --> 03:53:31.760
you think, why am I sure? How I should be

1700
03:53:31.799 --> 03:53:36.600
out in the garden hugging a tree or something. Well,

1701
03:53:40.719 --> 03:53:43.000
it's hard to set a microphone up on a tree.

1702
03:53:44.040 --> 03:53:46.280
That's why I'm doing this indoors. Otherwise I would be

1703
03:53:46.319 --> 03:53:50.079
outside hugging a tree. Now I can't see the television

1704
03:53:50.120 --> 03:53:58.719
from the tree. If you move down to your knees

1705
03:54:00.600 --> 03:54:08.559
gain such an important part. And I think we don't

1706
03:54:08.639 --> 03:54:16.479
necessarily I'll speak for myself here. I don't necessarily appreciate

1707
03:54:18.280 --> 03:54:23.360
all that my needs do for me until I have

1708
03:54:23.479 --> 03:54:26.840
a problem with my knee. It's occasionally, if I ever

1709
03:54:28.440 --> 03:54:32.399
maybe i'll pash it, or it's aching for some reason.

1710
03:54:34.120 --> 03:54:36.799
It's then that I realize.

1711
03:54:37.399 --> 03:54:38.559
How much it does.

1712
03:54:40.159 --> 03:54:43.399
You know, the benefit of being able to use my

1713
03:54:43.680 --> 03:54:53.360
legs without any kind of physical discomfort is a beautiful

1714
03:54:53.399 --> 03:55:01.479
thing that's possibly not appreciated until it's temporary. Really removed.

1715
03:55:02.600 --> 03:55:09.600
You know that's comfort. But as you focus on your knees,

1716
03:55:11.760 --> 03:55:17.399
regardless of how your knees feel, you can have that

1717
03:55:17.680 --> 03:55:23.840
sense of gratitude and love to your knees for all

1718
03:55:23.959 --> 03:55:36.159
that they do for you, And you can still have

1719
03:55:36.360 --> 03:55:40.479
that attention on your thighs and maybe notice how your

1720
03:55:40.600 --> 03:55:52.479
thighs feel. Maybe you've noticed that they are relaxing more

1721
03:55:54.280 --> 03:56:05.879
deeply as you focus now on the bottoms of your legs,

1722
03:56:06.360 --> 03:56:12.120
your shins, and your calf muscles, the bones between your

1723
03:56:13.079 --> 03:56:18.760
knees and your feet incorporate, and of course your ankles

1724
03:56:21.079 --> 03:56:30.399
so important. You know, anyone that's had even like the

1725
03:56:30.600 --> 03:56:37.440
slightest sprain of an ankle knows how how much we

1726
03:56:37.559 --> 03:56:47.799
take our ankles for granted. And it's kind of strange

1727
03:56:47.879 --> 03:56:52.680
in a way when you think that. You know, logically,

1728
03:56:53.040 --> 03:56:56.120
our wrists are a lot thinner than the rest of

1729
03:56:56.159 --> 03:57:01.040
our arms, which is okay, it doesn't can't see any

1730
03:57:01.040 --> 03:57:06.000
problem with that because we're just picking stuff up. But

1731
03:57:06.120 --> 03:57:12.159
our ankles so much thinner than the rest of our legs,

1732
03:57:18.600 --> 03:57:23.000
and from a physics perspective or logical even it doesn't

1733
03:57:23.079 --> 03:57:29.040
really make sense that all this weight would ultimately be

1734
03:57:30.159 --> 03:57:40.200
resting on your ankles then leading to your feet, that

1735
03:57:40.760 --> 03:57:49.719
thin area, thin bone. Yeah, it does so much great work.

1736
03:57:51.920 --> 03:58:01.399
Supports us, supports our body for a lifetime, helps us

1737
03:58:02.120 --> 03:58:11.440
to balance, It helps you to get around and be mobile.

1738
03:58:17.799 --> 03:58:25.600
And there's the calf muscles. Of course, when I was younger,

1739
03:58:25.959 --> 03:58:29.280
I couldn't see the point in calf muscles. Didn't seem

1740
03:58:29.319 --> 03:58:34.399
to do anything. Okay, if I walked around on tiptoes,

1741
03:58:35.200 --> 03:58:39.040
then my calf muscles get some work. But of course

1742
03:58:39.120 --> 03:58:43.239
that's not true. The calf muscles are being used whenever

1743
03:58:43.319 --> 03:58:55.239
we use our legs and your shins there to protect

1744
03:58:57.239 --> 03:59:05.879
your lower legs, shaped in a way, almost as a

1745
03:59:05.959 --> 03:59:18.200
protector for the bone, leading of course to your ankles

1746
03:59:21.600 --> 03:59:28.159
and your feet. But we're not going to focus on

1747
03:59:28.280 --> 03:59:30.360
your feet. We're just going to focus on the legs.

1748
03:59:32.479 --> 03:59:37.079
I realize that now that I've mentioned your feet, it

1749
03:59:37.239 --> 03:59:42.120
probably focusing on them anyway, So maybe I should focus

1750
03:59:42.200 --> 03:59:48.040
on your feet a little bit. You can have them

1751
03:59:48.079 --> 03:59:53.639
in your awareness the same as you have your thighs

1752
03:59:53.920 --> 03:59:58.200
in your awareness. Even though we haven't been focusing on

1753
03:59:58.399 --> 04:00:04.559
your thighs a few minut let me focusing on your ankles.

1754
04:00:10.280 --> 04:00:25.479
There's still that sensation of comfort in your thighs, and

1755
04:00:25.559 --> 04:00:35.000
there's that movement of energy because the thighs hold lots

1756
04:00:35.040 --> 04:00:40.559
of different sensations. Of course, there's the muscles, the big

1757
04:00:40.920 --> 04:00:53.000
strong muscles that we have in our thighs. But the

1758
04:00:53.200 --> 04:00:59.159
skin on the outside of the thighs, as in the

1759
04:00:59.319 --> 04:01:04.879
outside of all of our body, can be very sensitive,

1760
04:01:08.799 --> 04:01:22.000
sensitive to the touch, sensitive to temperature. And inside your

1761
04:01:22.120 --> 04:01:29.559
thighs the bones, there's the muscle, there's the blood, vessels,

1762
04:01:29.719 --> 04:01:35.520
the arch trees, to all this stuff that's inside your thighs.

1763
04:01:39.840 --> 04:01:43.000
And I guess sometimes it'd be nice if you could

1764
04:01:43.040 --> 04:01:48.399
actually put your fingers inside your thighs and a message,

1765
04:01:50.760 --> 04:01:54.319
so you can message on the outside, of course, but

1766
04:01:54.399 --> 04:01:57.520
to be able to get deep into the muscles, and

1767
04:01:57.600 --> 04:02:02.719
to be able to just message inside your thighs, message

1768
04:02:02.760 --> 04:02:11.520
in the bones of your leg, massage in all the veins,

1769
04:02:11.719 --> 04:02:21.920
and just gently healing your thighs, and you could move

1770
04:02:22.120 --> 04:02:29.479
down message and inside your knees, just message in those bones,

1771
04:02:30.520 --> 04:02:37.520
but with healing fingertips, spreading that healing energy deep into

1772
04:02:37.639 --> 04:02:47.040
the joints of your knees. Of course, there's the back

1773
04:02:47.319 --> 04:02:52.239
of your your knee, you know, the inside crease where

1774
04:02:52.280 --> 04:03:00.120
your knee is it's a very sensitive area. Three it's

1775
04:03:00.200 --> 04:03:04.159
very nice when you stroke it. That might be because

1776
04:03:05.040 --> 04:03:10.000
it's an area that's not really touched very often. It's

1777
04:03:10.159 --> 04:03:14.200
almost like a hidden part, that crease.

1778
04:03:15.959 --> 04:03:16.639
In your legs.

1779
04:03:16.760 --> 04:03:17.680
It's almost.

1780
04:03:19.680 --> 04:03:20.440
Like a part that.

1781
04:03:22.200 --> 04:03:33.479
Has a sensitivity, which is a little bit different. Of course,

1782
04:03:33.520 --> 04:03:44.000
it's protected by your legs, so you can imagine putting

1783
04:03:44.920 --> 04:03:54.719
your fingers into that crease in your legs. Fold in

1784
04:03:54.840 --> 04:03:58.799
between your legs. You can just mess out with your fingertips,

1785
04:04:00.000 --> 04:04:06.799
imaging your fingertips, going inside, massage in the muscle tissue.

1786
04:04:11.399 --> 04:04:15.639
You can of course feel the bones of your knees

1787
04:04:17.159 --> 04:04:19.000
healing through your fingertips.

1788
04:04:26.399 --> 04:04:27.840
And then as you go down.

1789
04:04:30.479 --> 04:04:33.280
To your calf muscles, and that's the part I'd like

1790
04:04:33.360 --> 04:04:38.040
to be able to really put my fingertips deep inside

1791
04:04:38.799 --> 04:04:47.760
my calf muscles, massage in every single tissue of that muscle,

1792
04:04:49.360 --> 04:04:59.280
healing every part, and then doing the same for my shins,

1793
04:05:02.479 --> 04:05:10.639
massage in gently stroking the bones, gently stroking them, healing

1794
04:05:10.879 --> 04:05:14.959
in a loving way, because they deserve to be treated

1795
04:05:18.040 --> 04:05:22.159
as the precious bones that they are. Because our legs

1796
04:05:22.200 --> 04:05:25.559
are so precious as in all the other parts of

1797
04:05:25.639 --> 04:05:26.159
our body.

1798
04:05:28.639 --> 04:05:30.719
And more precious of any jure.

1799
04:05:33.120 --> 04:05:33.799
On the planet.

1800
04:05:42.360 --> 04:05:43.399
When you start to.

1801
04:05:44.920 --> 04:05:55.920
Think about your legs in this way, it can change

1802
04:05:56.079 --> 04:06:05.559
your perspective. It might sound a bit a bit silly

1803
04:06:05.719 --> 04:06:11.360
to start with the idea of having love for your legs,

1804
04:06:12.760 --> 04:06:20.399
show an appreciation for your thighs, wanting to be able

1805
04:06:20.440 --> 04:06:27.600
to put your hands in your thighs the massage the

1806
04:06:27.799 --> 04:06:33.639
muscles and the bones, and to get your fingers deep

1807
04:06:33.799 --> 04:06:43.520
in there, releasing all tension, just to show how much

1808
04:06:43.639 --> 04:06:51.079
you care about your legs, how much you care for

1809
04:06:52.200 --> 04:06:59.479
what your legs do for you regularly, your knees, your

1810
04:06:59.639 --> 04:07:12.559
car your ankles. The strength of your ankles, considering how

1811
04:07:13.559 --> 04:07:16.840
thin they are compared to the rest of your legs,

1812
04:07:17.040 --> 04:07:30.680
especially your thighs. Yeah, they're so strong, so flexible, absolutely

1813
04:07:30.959 --> 04:07:42.760
amazing things. Your ankles are truly a gift because of

1814
04:07:42.840 --> 04:07:54.120
what they do for you, supporting all that weight, regardless

1815
04:07:54.200 --> 04:07:58.200
of how what weight you are, even if you're only

1816
04:07:58.600 --> 04:08:03.360
ate stones, there's still a lot of weight for these

1817
04:08:03.799 --> 04:08:10.239
little ankles. Now, I'm a lot heavier than eight stone

1818
04:08:11.879 --> 04:08:21.040
double down, yet my ankles support my body all the time.

1819
04:08:24.760 --> 04:08:27.799
Although they do give off a sigh of relief when

1820
04:08:27.799 --> 04:08:36.600
I sit down, I have my whole legs do my

1821
04:08:36.840 --> 04:08:42.000
feet feet also go my toes clap.

1822
04:08:43.200 --> 04:09:04.799
I'm so happy. Your legs.

1823
04:09:06.280 --> 04:09:14.159
Really are amazing. And I know that talking about talking

1824
04:09:14.200 --> 04:09:20.840
about your legs is probably possibly among the most most

1825
04:09:20.959 --> 04:09:28.600
boring things I've ever heard anyone say. Possibly or boring

1826
04:09:28.760 --> 04:09:36.920
or not, everything I said is true. Your legs are amazing.

1827
04:09:45.879 --> 04:09:58.719
Your legs deserve not just respect, they deserve to relax deeply.

1828
04:10:06.000 --> 04:10:09.360
They deserve to take some time out of the day

1829
04:10:11.559 --> 04:10:13.719
to just let go completely.

1830
04:10:31.680 --> 04:10:40.280
The legs really can relax.

1831
04:10:47.920 --> 04:10:52.040
And because the legs are so such a most you know,

1832
04:10:52.280 --> 04:10:58.200
very important part of your body. When you relax your legs,

1833
04:10:58.319 --> 04:11:05.559
the rest of your body also naturally follows in that

1834
04:11:09.280 --> 04:11:20.120
journey of comfort. I can feel it in my hips.

1835
04:11:21.520 --> 04:11:28.639
My hips feel really loose, and also my lawer back

1836
04:11:28.680 --> 04:11:35.280
as well. My lower back really feels it feels stretched,

1837
04:11:36.399 --> 04:11:39.440
even though I'm just sitting in a chair and there's

1838
04:11:39.559 --> 04:11:44.799
no stretching as far as I'm aware that I'm doing.

1839
04:11:45.840 --> 04:11:48.479
It's almost as if the muscles are just relaxed so

1840
04:11:48.719 --> 04:11:54.639
much that there is a natural stretch as the tension

1841
04:11:55.520 --> 04:12:16.760
has reduced a lot. And I'm now going to count

1842
04:12:16.879 --> 04:12:24.719
down from ten down to one, and you can continue

1843
04:12:26.600 --> 04:12:52.840
to fill wonderfully relaxed ten nine eight, seven, six, five

1844
04:12:57.479 --> 04:13:10.159
four three twoe what.

1845
04:13:16.399 --> 04:13:17.000
Relax?

1846
04:13:24.879 --> 04:13:28.719
So I'm just going to count down from five down

1847
04:13:28.799 --> 04:13:33.200
to one, and as a countdown, if you just focus

1848
04:13:33.319 --> 04:13:41.239
on the numbers, just the numbers counting down, and notice

1849
04:13:42.159 --> 04:13:50.159
how you feel in this moment as you hear the

1850
04:13:50.280 --> 04:13:58.360
numbers counting down, knowing that those numbers counting down represent

1851
04:13:59.360 --> 04:14:08.360
you feeling calmer, not just in your body, but also

1852
04:14:10.680 --> 04:14:17.280
relaxing your mind. I just notice how you feel. There's

1853
04:14:17.399 --> 04:14:23.159
nothing to do, there's nothing to say, there's nothing to

1854
04:14:23.280 --> 04:15:15.639
think about, starting with number five, four three one. And

1855
04:15:15.760 --> 04:15:28.040
as you notice the gradual letting go that the tension

1856
04:15:28.239 --> 04:15:35.360
in your body, you may also begin to notice and

1857
04:15:35.559 --> 04:15:44.559
be aware of how your mind is starting to slow down.

1858
04:15:47.040 --> 04:15:53.360
This is just a natural thing that happens. It's not

1859
04:15:53.600 --> 04:15:58.760
really a special procedure. It's just natural because as your

1860
04:16:00.120 --> 04:16:06.079
body relaxes, your mind also starts to relax. And the

1861
04:16:06.200 --> 04:16:09.799
more your mind relaxes, the more your body relaxes. It's

1862
04:16:09.959 --> 04:16:22.040
just a continuous circle of relaxation. And there's that calmness

1863
04:16:22.280 --> 04:16:29.440
that comes from relative quietness. You know, even even if

1864
04:16:29.479 --> 04:16:37.000
there's background sounds either your side online, it's still going

1865
04:16:37.120 --> 04:16:42.159
to be quite calm. You know, you haven't got the

1866
04:16:42.280 --> 04:16:47.440
television on. There's no music in the background unless you're

1867
04:16:47.479 --> 04:16:55.040
listening to the recording. With music, of course, you're very

1868
04:16:55.239 --> 04:16:57.120
likely not going to be sitting in a room with

1869
04:16:57.239 --> 04:17:02.000
other people. Of course it might be, but generally it's

1870
04:17:02.719 --> 04:17:04.920
more ideal if you can do this on your own,

1871
04:17:06.639 --> 04:17:16.719
so no distractions, and when you stop thinking about stuff,

1872
04:17:23.280 --> 04:17:33.559
relaxation automatically rises. A sense of comfort starts to grow,

1873
04:17:38.079 --> 04:17:44.760
and without trying to build it up into something fantastical

1874
04:17:45.120 --> 04:17:56.920
or something magical, this is just a natural process, something

1875
04:17:57.079 --> 04:18:08.040
that's easy to accomplish. In fact, it's almost the sense

1876
04:18:08.159 --> 04:18:14.959
of relaxing completely happens really when you put no effort

1877
04:18:15.280 --> 04:18:19.159
into it. It's not something that you can really force.

1878
04:18:21.799 --> 04:18:31.200
It's something that happens naturally. And part of the process

1879
04:18:31.600 --> 04:18:42.799
of this recording and others is simply two allow you

1880
04:18:45.159 --> 04:18:56.000
to take advantage of this space. This time, it's just

1881
04:19:00.239 --> 04:19:07.760
let go to just be here, to be in tune

1882
04:19:11.479 --> 04:19:23.559
with how you feel, yet with the intention of wanting

1883
04:19:23.840 --> 04:19:35.920
to relax deeply and maybe even to fall asleep, depending

1884
04:19:36.200 --> 04:19:42.399
on what it is that you wish for yourself in

1885
04:19:42.559 --> 04:19:58.680
this moment. As we know, relaxing is the majority of

1886
04:19:58.799 --> 04:20:03.079
the process of full and asleep. The actual falling asleep

1887
04:20:03.200 --> 04:20:09.959
part is the tiny bit at the end. The deeper

1888
04:20:11.280 --> 04:20:33.719
relaxed you become, the easier you find yourself drifting. You

1889
04:20:33.799 --> 04:20:40.799
can also, if you choose, stay focused on my voice

1890
04:20:42.600 --> 04:21:14.040
and really enjoy the process, gradually relaxing each muscle in

1891
04:21:14.200 --> 04:21:41.520
your body effortlessly and just observing the sensation of letting

1892
04:21:41.680 --> 04:21:58.559
go completely. This time, I'm an account from six down

1893
04:21:58.639 --> 04:22:10.959
to one, and you can notice your mind calming down

1894
04:22:11.440 --> 04:22:23.200
more with each number that you hear me say, naturally,

1895
04:22:24.280 --> 04:22:34.000
feeling calm and slow and be peaceful.

1896
04:22:39.319 --> 04:23:59.079
Sex five, four, three.

1897
04:24:28.040 --> 04:25:05.639
Hu what.

1898
04:25:26.920 --> 04:25:40.239
Being aware? How your mind to slow right down, sinking

1899
04:25:42.879 --> 04:25:47.440
deeply into relaxation.

1900
04:26:01.159 --> 04:26:08.280
And as you focus on your mind, you may notice that.

1901
04:26:10.200 --> 04:26:17.959
There are some thoughts still there, maybe some stubborn thoughts

1902
04:26:18.159 --> 04:26:26.239
that for some reason perhaps need your attention.

1903
04:26:33.159 --> 04:26:34.520
That's what you can do is.

1904
04:26:40.079 --> 04:26:52.559
Send love to those thoughts. Sprinkle those thoughts with love

1905
04:26:54.280 --> 04:26:58.520
like all petals from a flower. Just sprinkle it over them,

1906
04:27:00.040 --> 04:27:07.120
petals filled with love towards those thoughts, to let those

1907
04:27:07.360 --> 04:27:13.760
thoughts know that You're not abandoned in them. You just

1908
04:27:14.280 --> 04:27:24.280
need them. You require them to just calm down, slow down,

1909
04:27:26.639 --> 04:27:41.520
quiet down for now. So as you focus on those

1910
04:27:42.280 --> 04:27:47.159
remaining thoughts as we count down this time from seven

1911
04:27:48.079 --> 04:27:56.760
down to one. With each number, just imagine sprinkling those

1912
04:27:57.000 --> 04:28:16.440
flower petals of love, kindness, gratitude over those thoughts, which

1913
04:28:16.440 --> 04:28:22.440
will allow them to just melt away and relax deeply.

1914
04:28:26.600 --> 04:28:41.040
Of every number, those thoughts will become more and more relaxed,

1915
04:28:46.639 --> 04:30:09.559
starting with number seven, six, five, four, three.

1916
04:31:00.799 --> 04:31:01.040
One.

1917
04:31:10.559 --> 04:31:30.920
Yeah, And as you now notice how relaxed you're feeling

1918
04:31:34.600 --> 04:31:50.200
in your body, we're going to focus on your hands,

1919
04:31:56.040 --> 04:32:02.200
because the more relaxed your hands are, the more relax

1920
04:32:02.600 --> 04:32:05.000
your body and mind are.

1921
04:32:19.959 --> 04:32:20.600
And as.

1922
04:32:22.120 --> 04:32:32.280
You focus on your hands and your fingers, there's nothing

1923
04:32:32.799 --> 04:32:37.559
needed to be done. There's no clenching of fists or

1924
04:32:38.600 --> 04:32:50.000
dancing the fingers or anything like that. It's just noticing

1925
04:32:50.840 --> 04:33:18.439
and focusing on your hands, noticing how they feel. Because

1926
04:33:18.599 --> 04:33:19.479
the more.

1927
04:33:21.439 --> 04:33:31.840
Relax your hands feel, the calm your mind feels, and

1928
04:33:32.200 --> 04:33:33.159
the more.

1929
04:33:35.720 --> 04:33:40.639
Comforts you feel throughout your body.

1930
04:33:45.840 --> 04:33:52.080
And you may have.

1931
04:33:56.080 --> 04:34:35.080
Already notice you mind is starting to dress. Like you said,

1932
04:34:39.159 --> 04:34:50.200
just on your hands and fingers allowing them to cheat.

1933
04:34:52.279 --> 04:35:04.000
Experience how real deepening of that relaxation in your hands and.

1934
04:35:04.200 --> 04:35:15.599
Fingers, more and more relaxed.

1935
04:35:20.720 --> 04:35:22.200
With each number.

1936
04:35:29.759 --> 04:35:30.639
From eight.

1937
04:35:32.880 --> 04:35:33.720
Down to one.

1938
04:35:38.799 --> 04:35:48.639
You can almost feel that healing and relaxing energy spreading

1939
04:35:49.840 --> 04:36:08.799
into your hands and fingers becoming ye more relaxing with

1940
04:36:09.240 --> 04:36:10.720
each number.

1941
04:36:17.319 --> 04:36:18.439
Going down.

1942
04:36:19.759 --> 04:36:38.479
From eight down to one, drifting, drifting again, starting with

1943
04:36:43.080 --> 04:36:51.560
number fates.

1944
04:37:04.319 --> 04:40:45.000
Seven, four, three, just being here now, nothing to think about,

1945
04:40:46.759 --> 04:40:58.000
nothing to do, nothing to say, and everything just feels calm.

1946
04:41:02.959 --> 04:41:10.680
This is your natural state of being. This is how

1947
04:41:10.840 --> 04:41:16.000
you just normally feel when you take away.

1948
04:41:17.000 --> 04:41:19.200
All that other stuff.

1949
04:41:21.279 --> 04:41:25.759
That we add, you know, things like stress.

1950
04:41:25.360 --> 04:41:26.400
And worrying and.

1951
04:41:29.319 --> 04:41:41.799
Overthinking the anxiety and tension, just generally thinking about stuff.

1952
04:41:43.799 --> 04:41:47.119
And you take that away, which is what we do.

1953
04:41:47.919 --> 04:41:48.919
What we do now.

1954
04:41:55.240 --> 04:42:06.439
You're left with a real sense of peacefulness which comes

1955
04:42:06.599 --> 04:42:15.959
to you very quickly because ultimately it's just a feeling,

1956
04:42:20.360 --> 04:42:28.680
a feeling of comfort, almost as if you've gone inside

1957
04:42:28.759 --> 04:42:40.919
yourself and you've found a special place where everything is peaceful,

1958
04:42:43.919 --> 04:42:49.240
a place where you can feel relaxed and your natural

1959
04:42:51.439 --> 04:42:57.759
sense of comfort, a place where you can be you,

1960
04:43:02.479 --> 04:43:06.119
where you can accept yourself for.

1961
04:43:06.240 --> 04:43:06.959
Who you are.

1962
04:43:09.439 --> 04:43:16.080
The place where you're not trying to please anybody else ever,

1963
04:43:20.119 --> 04:43:28.680
the place where you can actually not just with love yourself,

1964
04:43:28.799 --> 04:43:38.400
but in some ways more importantly, you can like yourself, appreciate.

1965
04:43:39.080 --> 04:43:40.159
Who you are.

1966
04:43:49.000 --> 04:43:51.599
That sense of gratitude.

1967
04:43:53.880 --> 04:43:55.599
Is in the air all around you.

1968
04:44:03.279 --> 04:44:11.080
That's also a place where you can actually feel the

1969
04:44:11.439 --> 04:44:26.720
healing energy soaking into your body, healing energy soaking into

1970
04:44:26.840 --> 04:44:36.799
your body, and that healing energy spreads through your veins,

1971
04:44:40.560 --> 04:44:47.439
traveling to each and every single part of your body.

1972
04:44:53.400 --> 04:44:57.799
When you start to realize that actually that healing.

1973
04:44:57.680 --> 04:45:06.279
Energy it's not just entered into your brain, it's become

1974
04:45:06.560 --> 04:45:08.240
part of your.

1975
04:45:08.200 --> 04:45:20.080
Brain, and the spinal fluid is now mixed with healing energy,

1976
04:45:25.319 --> 04:45:32.200
not just allowing you to feel so much more relaxed.

1977
04:45:33.680 --> 04:45:42.439
And healthy in this moment, but also.

1978
04:45:44.959 --> 04:45:52.759
You start to realize that actually, what's happening now without

1979
04:45:52.799 --> 04:46:02.279
a healing, relaxing energy spreading through your body, it's actually

1980
04:46:02.720 --> 04:46:12.919
changing your life. It's actually changing the way you're going

1981
04:46:13.000 --> 04:46:19.799
to feel not just now, but tomorrow and the next day.

1982
04:46:21.599 --> 04:46:29.200
Because your health improves, not just your physical health but

1983
04:46:29.319 --> 04:46:36.759
your mental health. Things that used to bother you in

1984
04:46:36.840 --> 04:46:44.400
the past for some reason no longer have the effect

1985
04:46:44.919 --> 04:46:53.840
that they used to because something has changed deep within you.

1986
04:46:58.919 --> 04:47:01.080
Maybe things they used.

1987
04:47:00.919 --> 04:47:11.400
To cause you to feel anger no longer have that

1988
04:47:12.279 --> 04:47:16.479
power to control you.

1989
04:47:18.959 --> 04:47:25.119
The way they seem to be able to before, And

1990
04:47:25.360 --> 04:47:36.919
you realize that you're the one who decides what affects you.

1991
04:47:40.599 --> 04:47:49.680
You're the one who decides to feel relaxed and calm.

1992
04:47:51.000 --> 04:47:53.119
When you choose.

1993
04:47:56.400 --> 04:48:07.439
To enjoy noticing these natural developments and the healing.

1994
04:48:09.599 --> 04:48:11.560
Continue to grow.

1995
04:48:14.119 --> 04:48:25.479
And improve your life day by day, including of course

1996
04:48:25.599 --> 04:48:43.080
your ability to relax so much easier, and sleeping it's

1997
04:48:43.119 --> 04:48:53.479
the most natural thing in the world to you because

1998
04:48:53.720 --> 04:49:01.319
for in the sleep is something that you've done many times.

1999
04:49:02.639 --> 04:49:10.080
In your life, and you know that you were born, as.

2000
04:49:10.000 --> 04:49:16.360
We all were, with the ability to fall asleep naturally,

2001
04:49:20.560 --> 04:49:25.279
and you're born with that ability.

2002
04:49:27.720 --> 04:49:35.720
To just drift are into a deep, healing sleep.

2003
04:49:41.680 --> 04:49:46.200
Even when we're kids, sometimes as we will fall asleep

2004
04:49:46.279 --> 04:49:47.439
and we don't even want to.

2005
04:49:49.439 --> 04:49:51.119
Try to stay awake.

2006
04:49:52.520 --> 04:49:55.959
Maybe it's a birthday in the morning, or it's Christmas

2007
04:49:56.159 --> 04:50:00.200
or holiday or something we look forward to want to

2008
04:50:00.279 --> 04:50:05.360
go to sleep. But the more we want to stay awake,

2009
04:50:07.560 --> 04:50:14.599
the more we just start to drift, and the more

2010
04:50:15.319 --> 04:50:17.040
you fight it's drifting.

2011
04:50:17.479 --> 04:50:20.439
Or we try to stock yourself from drift in a safe.

2012
04:50:22.279 --> 04:50:33.360
The depot and stronger thout. Drifting becomes because we're born

2013
04:50:34.319 --> 04:50:40.159
not just with the need to relax deeply and to

2014
04:50:40.360 --> 04:50:51.080
naturally fall asleep, but it's our birthright's part of our DNA,

2015
04:50:58.119 --> 04:51:03.159
and sometimes as we get older than life, perhaps at

2016
04:51:03.360 --> 04:51:16.520
times we have a brotten relaxing completely it's not only

2017
04:51:17.720 --> 04:51:29.040
a wonderfully pleasant experience, it's also really easy.

2018
04:51:40.439 --> 04:51:47.919
It's very very easy to let go because that's all

2019
04:51:48.000 --> 04:51:48.279
it is.

2020
04:51:48.439 --> 04:52:03.240
It's just deciding to let go. And when you press

2021
04:52:03.439 --> 04:52:12.159
the play button on my recordings, you have given permission.

2022
04:52:13.959 --> 04:52:15.119
From my voice.

2023
04:52:16.439 --> 04:52:23.840
To elect you. When you press that play button, you've

2024
04:52:23.959 --> 04:52:35.240
given me permission from my words to effect you in

2025
04:52:35.400 --> 04:52:41.680
a positive only a positive way.

2026
04:52:45.560 --> 04:52:52.479
Open up the mind.

2027
04:52:54.000 --> 04:52:59.919
To useful and.

2028
04:53:01.720 --> 04:53:19.639
Healing suggestions. They can have such an amazing effect how

2029
04:53:19.919 --> 04:53:31.959
you feel right now, as well as those changes that

2030
04:53:32.279 --> 04:53:45.200
continue long after the recording ends. Those changes within the

2031
04:53:45.360 --> 04:53:59.599
continue to flourish and grow, transforming your life in positive,

2032
04:54:01.439 --> 04:54:11.040
beautiful way, allowing you to move forward in your life

2033
04:54:12.520 --> 04:54:14.759
in the direction that each is.

2034
04:54:16.279 --> 04:54:17.040
For yourself.

2035
04:54:26.400 --> 04:54:31.200
This feeling, this feeling.

2036
04:54:32.319 --> 04:54:38.119
In experience of safety, comfort and calmness.

2037
04:54:45.919 --> 04:54:47.520
This feels so nice.

2038
04:54:56.799 --> 04:55:11.759
It's such a healthy place to be and that positivity grace.

2039
04:55:18.919 --> 04:55:30.919
In every day. The thing forward, you're where to find

2040
04:55:33.439 --> 04:55:49.000
all reacted physically and do you mind react? And it

2041
04:55:49.080 --> 04:55:54.040
is not that you think you're smaller, it's just that

2042
04:55:54.159 --> 04:55:58.880
your mind would be mess up, not down. I find

2043
04:55:59.319 --> 04:56:15.680
miss negativity because you now your mind rejects negativity, but.

2044
04:56:15.840 --> 04:56:18.200
Now you're going to start.

2045
04:56:18.200 --> 04:56:38.599
Noticing negativity arises. You just say stop, stop the negativity,

2046
04:56:41.360 --> 04:56:58.040
turn around, lead, stop magity.

2047
04:57:01.200 --> 04:57:01.959
What does it say?

2048
04:57:10.400 --> 04:57:12.360
Did you want to stop.

2049
04:57:19.000 --> 04:57:26.240
It? M