Aug. 26, 2025
(no music) (10 hours) THANK YOU | LMBYTS #1423 | Jason Newland | 27th August 2025

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Hello, and welcome to jasonnew Land dot com. Hello everybody,
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how are you? This is now going to be my
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voice now that I am fifty five and an old man,
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I'm going to be very gentle, but ever so croaky.
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Oh I'm not sure what I'm going to talk about,
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but I'm a tone of wondering that. So, hey, it
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is Wednesday, the twenty seventh of August two thousand and
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twenty five. Yeah, baby, it really is, which meant yesterday
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it was my birthday, August twenty sixth. So I'm sitting
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here with Anny covered up next to me. I got
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my iPad in front of me, so I'm going to
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read out some stuff. This is basically just a thank
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you recording. Really, that's all this is. So you know,
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please only listen when you can safely close your eyes.
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If I haven't already said that, And man, looking at here,
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I no idea what this is. You know it's Facebook.
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So yeah, fifty five, I don't know what to make
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of it. I know, technically, you know, it's only another year.
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Me literally, it's only another day, isn't it really from
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the day before? But it's you know, it's one digit
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more one number. We know what digit means one number.
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But did I feel young at fifty four? I don't know.
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I felt fresh. People would ask me how old I was.
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I sound fifty four, and I'd feel full of pride
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and the youth, and figure that they'd be really impressed
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of how young I was. But now I imagine that same
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scenario and I'd say fifty five, and they alright, they
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run away screaming, and I shrink into the cracks of
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the pavement out of embarrassment. I don't know. I didn't
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do it yesterday. I did. I treated myself to a
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takeaway to the little one here out a couple of times,
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three times, twice, three times. I can't remember, No, three times,
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I think, yeah, it would have been three times, well
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four times, including popular in the garden for a wei,
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thinking he needed a Wi Wi. But he didn't need
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a we Wei. All he wanted to do was try
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and get underneath the neighbors. I should explain what this is.
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So my neighbor, not in this block, but in the
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next block. He's got himself a new mobility scooter I
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think they called I call it a new car, but yes,
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and a mobility scooter. And he's about eighty three, eighty
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four something like that. It just really don't look it.
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He looks way younger. And I actually had the chat
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for him the other day and he told me all
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about it and why he's got it and everything. So
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I don't see him very often, but when I do
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see him, we're a good old chin wag. We get
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him very well. He was very close to Luke because
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they're next door neighbors. It's a different building, but they
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were next door neighbors. The buildings. His part of the
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buildings joined My part of the building isn't joined to anything.
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It just ends. No one wanted to be my neighbor,
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the builders decided, so he Luke to the left of
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him was their flat, and he was very close to
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both him and his wife. His wife, really close to.
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His wife used to go and speak to Luke and
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then spend hours chat. We'd go in the garden and
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they're really really good friends. And she passed away and
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he kind of kept up his relationship with her husband.
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I mean they were friends of her husband as well,
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but because you know, it'd been in a couple of
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years before I moved in, and I never really got
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to know his wife. But a little bit, but not
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a lot, because I suppose because I'm a little bit shy.
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You know, my dad had a few chats with her,
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but I sort of I've got to know him a
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little a lot more than I did her. So anyway,
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I was just chatting to him because he was He
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was outside and I saw him standing over this machine
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looks like a lawn mower a little bit from a distance,
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but there. I do need my eyes tested, and literally
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I do, and he was. I thought I'd just go outside.
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Did I have Viny with me? I don't think I did,
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because if I had it done, no, I might have done.
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No I did, Yeah, I did, BlimE my air, I
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did have Vinnie with me. So I went out just
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to see if he was okay, if he needed a
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hand with something, because I didn't know whether or not
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he'd be out in it, and because I've not seen
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him use it. It's only been out there for like
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maybe two weeks, and it's got this big cover on it,
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and to start with, I thought was like a little
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tent and he was just I don't know. I didn't
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know what it was underneath there until that day when
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I saw him like without the cover on, not him
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without the cover on, but the mobility scooter without the
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cover on, because he must have taken the cover off.
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So I thought, oh, instead of standing here in my underpants,
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perhaps I go down and see how he's getting on
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if he needs a hand. So I get Vinnie, put
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him on the lead, headed my way down to the
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got to the bottom stairs and thought, I wait a minute.
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I went back upstairs, put some clothes on, and then
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came back down and he wasn't there. He wasn't in
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the garden anymore. But the scooter was the his new car.
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I'm going to call him in his new car, because
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that's what I called it to him, and Finny was
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very interested in it, and he has been since been
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there and I couldn't figure out why he actually thinn
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He pretends he needs to go for a wee wize
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just in order for me to take him in the
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garden so we can try and get underneath that tarpaulin
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or whatever it is the cover and I've not figured
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it what it is, although I do no he has
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a bit of a fascination with those things because he's
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got a couple of friends that he said helo to
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that are on those mobility scooters, and he gets so
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excited when he sees them he tries to get on.
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I think he would be happy to get on one.
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I think he actually wants one for himself. He's lazier
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than me, little bugger when he honestly, I think he's Uh.
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If I bought him my motorbike, I think he'd be
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over the moon. He's a bit of a speed freak,
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I think, old Vinny. Maybe it's because I can't let
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him run around because I can't allow him off the lead.
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So you know, it's weird, though, isn't it. I can't
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let him off the lead. But he thinks I'm going
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to let him have a motorbike and ride around. If
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I can't trust you off the lead, vin I'm going
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to give you something that goes eighty miles an hour
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and let you on a motorway. Am I no, eighty miles?
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Now probably a lot more than out on they I
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don't know. So I go downstairs anyway, and the blokes
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it's not in the garden, so I walk around his
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front doors open. So I thought, okay, I'll just shout.
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Well I'm not shout shout, but like hi, Hi. The
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thing is, he's got like a heart condition, so I
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don't I'm saying it not because it's personal. Obviously, I
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don't want to make him jump, So I have to
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begin out being gentle, you know, try.
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And like Hi, are you there.
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Hello? And he couldn't hear me. I think he's got
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hearing neighbor as well. But it's sort of kind of
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you know, I don't want to be like I would
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and him go oh and be you know, be startled
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because a similar thing happened, but it's completely different thing happened.
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Actually it was similar because it involved him, but it
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didn't really involve him, but he was part of the story.
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The other neighbor, another neighbor which lives in the same
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block as him, came outside and I was in the garden.
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This is a few months ago. It was in the
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garden with any and it was like two o'clock, one thirty,
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two o'clock in the morning. It was in the summer,
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so it was you know, it wasn't even cold. It
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was just a nice, nice kind of probably May June time.
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And the young bloke who lives in that block comes out,
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made me jump. Then he just got excited to start
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barking brilliant at two o'clock in the morning. That's what
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I needed. I didn't need it, That's what I meant.
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It was sarcasm. Okay, how to explain sarcasm? So yeah, anyway,
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he comes out, I said, why are you made me jump?
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He laughed. He helped me off the floor and I said,
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He said, you're okay now, I said, yeah, I got
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my breath back. He said, I said, what were you
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doing hanging around in the dark. He said, I was
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going to ask you the same thing. I said, yeah,
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but I've got a dog. He said, I've got a dog.
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You haven't got a dog with you here, have you?
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I said, no, it's in the house. I said, I
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don't feel this conversation is going anywhere to you. He
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said no, Should we start again? So he did. He
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went back into the into this building, and I kind
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of walked back upstairs, took my clothes off and just
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looked out of the window with me underpents on and
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I see him come out and he's stand there looking
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for me, and like, perhaps when he said to his
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start over me, perhaps he went inside as a joke
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and I took it too serious and I kind of
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overdid it, so I had to put my clothes back
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on again and went downstairs and to the garden. He said,
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where were you? I said, but I just you know
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when you when you went when you said should we
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start over? And you went inside as a joke. I
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did it as well, and I went upstairs, but I
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ended up taking my clothes off. He said, well, that's weird.
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I said, you're weird. He said no, I mean, why
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would you go upstairs and take your clothes off? I said,
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because that's how I was before I came down. I
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was standing looking through the window, looking out into the
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garden in just my my underpants. And I realized as
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I said that, I actually thought that I myself was
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a bit weird because it seemed like a kind of
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strange thing to do, strange thing to tell anyone that
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I've just done. And he did like point that out.
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Why are you? Why are you standing in your flat
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just in your underpants looking out into the garden. I said,
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what does it matter what I'm wearing? He said, yeah,
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but it sounds a bit strange that you would tell
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me that. I said, yeah, but they're my windows. I'm
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allowed to look through them. You know they's see through
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for a reason. He said, yeah, but they's see through
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both sides. You know we person we can see you
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in your window? Said no, you can't. He said, yes
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you can. You can't see me when I'm at my window.
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He said, yeah, I can see you when you're window.
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I said, all right, then wait here. I went back
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upstairs and I waved to him. He said can you
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see me? And he started laughing. So I shouted out
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open the window, said can you see me? He said no,
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but I made you go up there. He was laughing,
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so he said you can come back down and said okay.
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So I had to put my clothes back on again,
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went all the way downstairs, and I said why why
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did you do that? He said do what? I said,
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why do you Why do you say you could see
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me and get me to go all the way back upstairs,
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take my clothes off? It saw me me underpants, and
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you say you can't see me? He said, why did
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you get undressed again? I said, I would be funny.
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He said, okay, this is going nowhere, is it? I
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said no, not really. He said, I thought you was
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going to sort of thank people for your birthday messages
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and the PayPal gifts on this podcast. I was, I was,
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but I seemed to have got a little bit sidetracked.
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He said, Yeah, I noticed you do there quite a lot.
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It's almost like the press record and you start talking
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and you don't know where it's going to go, like
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you've got no preparation. But you don't even rehearse, do you?
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I said, rehearse? I can't even spell the word. What
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do you mean? Why would I? How could I rehearse this?
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He said, have you ever tried to rehearse, you know,
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actually put together some kind of well written podcast episode
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where at the very least you're coherent. I thought, Wow,
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he's saying that I'm incoherent, he said, in a not
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a bad way, just in a kind of a bit
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mumbled a bit, not not not verbally. It's not that
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I can't verbally understand the words that you're saying. It's
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just it's not always easy to follow because you're going
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in different directions, and then you keep going back on yourself,
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and then which a thing that you were talking about
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has gone out on my mind because you're talking about
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something different, and I'm wondering even though I can't remember
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what you first started out talking about, whether or you
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can remember what you were talking about, and if we're
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ever going to get back to that, or you're just
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going to continue this way until something else hooks your
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interest and you start talking about that other thing. I said,
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are they new shoes you've got there? He says, why
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are you asking about my shoes? I said, I'm just
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