Aug. 2, 2025
(music) Whisper Saturday | LMBYTS #1402 | Jason Newland | 2nd August 2025
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Hello, and welcome to jasonnew Land dot com. My name's
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Jason new Land. Please only listen when you can safely
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close your eyes. This is Whisper Saturday Friday. For some reason,
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I've done was it Wednesday, Thursday, Friday Saturday for Whisper?
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Let me boy the slaves in a row? First thing
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in the morning when I wake up, and I don't
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know why at down way, hopefully the microphone is picking
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up my not so loud voice. I hope it's a
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bit of an early start. But I did go to
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bed particularly early last night. So I went to bed
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at about seven o'clock in the evening. It's about two
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thirty hours in the morning, so technically i've had seven
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hours was it seven eight nineteen eleven? I want to
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seven and a half hours sleep. I visited Uncle Sausages
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yesterday and I wasn't gonna It's not that I didn't
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want to. Well, I didn't know. It's a weird one.
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I don't want to visit him. Of course I do
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want to visit him, but I don't at the same time,
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just because it's it's it's very difficult. But his other
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visitors is only two of us. She contacted me yesterday
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and said that she wasn't able to go due to
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grand kids. There's some changes in her in a day routine.
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So I said, don't worry, I'll go up and see him.
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So I did, went up yesterday, got there about half
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three in the afternoon. I got a taxi there. It
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was raining and proper raining, like really raining, you know what.
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I don't think I put my body home. No, oh no.
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So I took my brodey with me. I tried to
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open it from the front door of the building where
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I live to the taxi. Now I got wetter trying
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to open the brody and in trying to close it
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as I tried. You know, as I opened the taxi door,
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I'd have got less way if I just walked straight over,
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because it was four footsteps probably, And here it's not
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something that I'm gonna gree read forever. It wasn't that
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wasn't quite that deep, baby, But thinking about everybody, would
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have been eas to just say still take probably in
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case I needed to stand outside and wait for a
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taxi on the way back. However, it's quite weird because
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I can and I hear a voice in the well.
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It's it's the driver, and he says, hi, Hi Jason.
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So now I'm not looked at him yet cause I'm
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I'm I'm backing into the into the taxi. I'm just
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thinking it's nice and he's being pleasant considering what's heading
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towards him, my big fat bomb. And I settled in
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and he said, just checking. Your going to the to
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see uncle sausages in a nursing home. I said yeah,
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and I turned around and it's this was his name.
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He was my regular taxi driver when I was first
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started going up to the hospital. When I was up
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there every single day and getting taxis there and back
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cost me about five hundred pounds and not not a
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day because that would be expensive. But he was one
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of the regular drivers, so I kind of got to
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know him a bit. And then a few weeks ago
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I started mainly traveling by by us, so I didn't
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see any more drivers, And yesterday it was the first
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time that I traveled by taxi for I don't remember
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how long it's been. It's not a long time, but
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it might be a couple of weeks because I wasn't
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able to go out for a week due to COVID
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and then I visited Uncle Sausages on Thursday. So I
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swim in hospital the previous Wednesday, and then I was
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ill on the Wednesday and Thursday. Did the COVID still
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a Friday, and then I was clear. Did another COVID
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test this Thursday, just got was clear and I went
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out to visit of course hostages. Then when I became yesterday,
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that's it. Yeah, so I'm sitting there. I don't really
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know what to do when I'm there. It didn't seem
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the right time to show off my new juggling skills.
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You know, it's pretty I don't know. I was talking
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to him, updating him on the locals. There's not a
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lot going on. It's just the same same people making
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the same noise, really and keep hearing the same sentence,
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you know, not from him, but the hearing the hearings
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a last thing to go. I'm like, okay, I wonder
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if he could communicate, what would he say to me?
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And I wonder if, if you know, a very few
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little scenarios one would possibly bear him saying, will you
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please shut up leave me alone? I don't know an
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please stop sitting on my leg, please stop farting. There
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could be lots of things that he might be trying
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to say to me, where's my bloody drinks? That's the
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last thing he said to me Wednesday evening, because I
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went and visited him. He was asleep in hospital, so
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I didn't he look like a little baby just needed
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a teddy bear. He looks so comfortable cook a cold
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up asleep, And I didn't disturb him because personally, a
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couple of days earlier, he told me that all he
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wanted was to go to sleep. He said he hadn't
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slept properly for the last five weeks, so I didn't
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want to disturb him. He looks so peaceful just having
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a good sleep. Plus I didn't feel very well. I
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just kind of came on on the way to the
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laspital and I was like wow, So I just I
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took that opportunity to leave. I left a package that
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his friend had delivered, or I had had said to
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me his friend lives in another country, so I delivered that,
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stuck it on the table. It was just a newspaper
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in the pack uh sweets, So of course Sausages phoned
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me up in the evening. Where were you? He didn't shout,
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but he was like, what do you mean, why didn't
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you come today? I said, I did come today, but
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he was asleep. Why didn't you wake me up? But
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I just for what you wanted to sleep? He said,
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where's my drinks? I think that's what I've been to him.
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I come and visit and then I go and get stuff.
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I'm like a like a little uber eats suppose for him,
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and that's kind of been my role for the last
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month and a half. So I get there, have a chat,
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have a catch up, you know, that's how it's been
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in hospital, and then he starts talking about, well, what
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should we get? Then he went for a little where
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he liked to get there sausage ll pasty things in
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costa and in the early days, which sounds weird considering
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it's been six weeks, but in the early days we
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used to walk down there together, go and sit outside,
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have a chat. I still remember that first Saturday. So
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you went in there on a Friday, ten thirty. We
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left here and I think I came back about three
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thirty in the morning. It's on there the next day
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on a Saturday, and in the afternoon, and at this
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point he'd already been they diagnosed him with with what
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was wrong with him. It didn't give him a prognosis
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at that point, but they told him what it was
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because they'd done a scar and everything. And we were downstairs.
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I'm not sure if we had drinks. We were just
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sitting in the sun, yeah, because there was that was
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a sad day and we're on one of these desk
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table things and Uncle Sausages started talking about making arrangements
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and things like that. I was like, oh, shut up me,
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what are you talking about? Because he he started being
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practical and then he was saying, oh, we can fight this,
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and I said yeah. So it was a little bit emotional.
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The next day where it was outside again. This time
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we were near this bit of water which is in
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hospital crowns and a duck started pecking and winning. Now
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I thought it was finny to start with, just because
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you know, generally, if I'm sitting somewhere and I felt
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some you know, something starts pulling on my glothing or anything,
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it's was always finny, even though I didn't have finny
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with me. It's just a natural reaction, like what you're doing.
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What you're doing, mate. I looked down and it's this
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duck staring at me, becking away at me Becker. Oh,
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I don't know what that made me laugh, beckon at
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me Becker Becker. Anyway, it seems like a really long
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time because she used to come out. He went from
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coming outside with me to still walking down with me
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but sitting in costa, to just sending me down to
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get stuff. I remember this one point. One day, it
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was uh, a couple of weeks in and he said
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he wanted to come home. I said, why in that case,
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let's not take the lift anymore. Let's go down the stairs.
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Cause he was on the second floor now he was
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on the first floor. I said, let's go down the stairs.
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He said, if you're gonna be traveling home, if you're
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gonna go home, you're gonna have to go up and
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down them stairs. And he said, okay. It was fine.
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He was a little bit unsteady on his feet anyway.
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But I think a lot to do that can be,
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you know, when you're wearing your pajamas or wearing it
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like a hospital gown, being in public, because even though
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you're in hospital, it feels like it feels like being
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in a public street. Really. In fact, if anything, it's
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a lot busier than a normal public street unless you're
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in Oxford Street or somewhere really busy. Thousands of people
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just continuously trafficking. It's not the right word, but just
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traveling through thousands of people. I mean to me, that
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makes me more invisible and anonymous. I just would generally
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not think that anyone had noticed me anyway. Really, these days,
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I think my noticeability levels have dropped somewhat, and I
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think it's just an age thing. It's natural, kind of
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blending with the with the wall paint. I think after
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seeing Emmy yesterday, it's two days in a row. It's
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been a shock to me, to be honest, day as
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because it wasn't like that when I last saw him
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a week ago. And it's yeah, it's night and day.
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It's like completely different. And what's weird about it is
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he didn't believe he was ill because he felt fine,
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apart from an upset stomach, which he blamed on having
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caught a bug or something for an hospital, which is
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highly likely. You know, that is a likely situation, but
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it wasn't true, you know, that was a symptom of
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his condition. And I started to think maybe they'd got
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it wrong, because Okay, he is still yellow, but he's
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you know, I don't know. It just seemed I don't
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know what I'm trying to say. Maybe I was hoping
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they'd got it wrong that you know, A really good
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scenario would be that they realized it made a mistake
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and all he needed was a simple ob which cleared
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his system out as it could be going a normal
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color again because he used to be it was always
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very pale. But like me, although I'm not pale, i'm pink.
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The rest of my body's pale, part from my arms.
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My forearms are brown because I'm out in a sun
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a lot with viny and stuff. But my face is
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pink and my feet. Basically, my whole body is the
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same color as my feet, this white like pale but
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with a pink face. It's very strange. Trust me, if
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you see me naked, you don't want to see me naked.
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I think it's agreed upon. That's probably not the first
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thing you notice. Okay, let's move on from there, and please, please, please,
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And yeah, I prefer not to see him. I was,
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I was there yesterday. I was just sitting down and
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suddenly income in the room bursts this man like what
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made me jump, And it was the husband of where
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it was the Uncle Sausages friend like you know, got married,
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Like the ones that said they weren't coming, there was
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a change and they decided to come up and pop
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up and see Uncle Sausages and then I don't pick
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up their grandkids. I was like, well, blimey made me jump.
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I think I was kind of deep in thought. Hard
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to believe, but I do sometimes think it's a rare,
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rare occurrence. But I gave it go once and I
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thought maybe I'll try this again one day, and I
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did yesterday. It was that day. Yeah, man, Yeah, it
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made me jump. But the good thing about it is
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I got a lift home, which was andy because it
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cost me sixteen pounds to get there in a taxi
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and I was going to get taxi backs. Meanwhile, two reasons,
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mainly because it was quite late in the day and
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it's going to take me quite a while to walk here.
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Plus it was raining, so it wasn't a good idea
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to be walking out in the rain. I just get where,
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what's the point so there would be unnecessary tempness. We
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came back and what's her name's husband wanting to have
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a look at the flat because he was going to
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clear it out himself because the council asked us to
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clear it out as it No, I said, it's not.
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It's no one's job to clean it out other than
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the council. Uncle Sausages has no family, He hasn't got
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anyone that has to do anything like that. Besides, I've
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backed up so much of his stuff now at the
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request of his friend, just to try and help out
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the counsel and help out, you know, generally. And it's
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still so much to do. So much to move is
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going to take them a good couple of days probably
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to empty that place. That's with all the work I've done.
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