Aug. 26, 2025

(music) THANK YOU | LMBYTS #1423 | Jason Newland | 27th August 2025

(music) THANK YOU | LMBYTS #1423 | Jason Newland | 27th August 2025
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WEBVTT

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Hello, and welcome to Jason neew Land dot com. Hello everybody,

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how are you?

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This is now going to be my voice now that

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I am fifty five and an old man, I'm going

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to be very gentle.

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But ever so croaky. Oh I'm not sure what I'm

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going to talk about, but I'm thought tone of wondering that. So, hey,

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it is Wednesday, the twenty seventh of August two thousand

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and twenty five. Yeah, baby, it really is, which meant

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yesterday it was my birthday, August twenty sixth. So I'm

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sitting here with Anny. Could it up next to me?

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I got my iPad in front of me, so I'm

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going to read out some stuff. This is basically just

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a thank you recording. Really, that's all this is. So

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you know, please only listen when you can safely close

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your eyes. If I haven't already said that. And man,

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looking at here, no idea what this is? You know

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it's Facebook. So yeah, fifty five, I don't know what

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to make of it. I know, technically, you know, it's

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only another year. We literally it's only another day, isn't

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it really from the day before? But it's you know,

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it's one digit more one number we know what digit

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means one number. But did I feel young at fifty four?

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I don't know. I felt fresh. People would ask me

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how old I was, I'd sound fifty four, and I'd

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feel full of pride and youth and figure that they'd

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be really impressed of how young I was. And now

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I imagine that same scenario and I'd say fifty five, and

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they alright, they run away screaming, and I shrink into

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the cracks of the pavement out of embarrassment. I don't know.

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I didn't do like yesterday I did. I treated myself

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to a takeaway. I took the little one here out

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a couple of times, three times, twice, three times. I

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can't remember, No, three times, I think, yeah, it would

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have been three times, well four times, including popular in

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the garden for a wei thinking he needed a we Wi.

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But he didn't need a Webi. All he wanted to

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do was try and get underneath the neighbors. I should

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explain what this is. So my neighbor not in this block,

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but in the next block. He's got himself a new

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mobility scooter. I think they called I call it a

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new car, but yes, and a mobility scooter. And he's

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about eighty three, eighty four something like that. It just

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really don't look it. He looks way younger. And I

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actually had the chat for him the other day and

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he told me all about it and why he's got

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it and everything. So I don't see him very often,

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but when I do see him, we have a good

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old chin wag. We get him very well. He was

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very close to Luke because they're next door neighbors. It's

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a different building, but they were next door neighbors. The buildings.

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His part of the buildings joined My part of the

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building isn't joined to anything. It just ends. No one

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wanted to be my neighbor, the builders decided, so he

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Luke to the left of him was their flat, and

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he was very close to both him and his wife.

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His wife really close to His wife used to go

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and speak to Luke and then spend hours chating. We'd

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go in the garden and they're really really good friends.

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And she passed away and he kind of kept up

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his relationship with her husband. I mean they were friends

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of her husband as well. But because you know, it'd

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been in a couple of years before I moved in,

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and I never really got to know his wife, but

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a little bit, but not a lot, because I suppose

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becuse I'm a little bit shy. You know, my dad

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had a few chats with her, but I sort of

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I've got to know him a little a lot more

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than I did her. So anyway, I was just chatting

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to him because he was He was outside and I

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saw him standing over this machine. It looks like a

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lawn mower a little bit from a distance. But then

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I do need my eyes tested, and literally I do,

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and he was. I thought I'd just go outside. Did

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I have Viny with me? I don't think I did,

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because if I had it done, no, I might have done. No.

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I did, Yeah, I did, BlimE me, air, I did

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have Vinny with me. So I went out just to

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see if he was okay, if he needed a hand

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with something, because I didn't know whether or not he'd

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be nowt in it and I've not seen him use it.

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It's only been out there for maybe two weeks and

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it's got this big cover on it, and to start with,

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I thought it was like a little tent and he

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was just I don't know. I didn't know what it

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was underneath there until that day when I saw him

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like without the cover on, not him without the cover on,

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but the mobility scooter without the cover on, because he

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must have taken the cover off. So I thought, oh,

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instead of standing here in my underpants, perhaps I go

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down and see how he's getting on if he needs

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a hand. So I get Vinny, put him on the lead,

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headed my way down to the got to the bottom

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stairs and thought, I wait a minute. I went back upstairs,

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put some clothes on, and then came back down and

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he wasn't there. He wasn't in the garden anymore. But

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the scooter was the his new car. I'm going to

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call him in his new car, because that's what I

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called it to him, and Finny was very interested in it,

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and he has been since been there. I couldn't figure

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out why he actually thin. He pretends he needs to

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go for a wee wiz just in order for me

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to take him in the garden so we can try

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and get underneath that tarpauling or whatever it is the

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cover and I've not figured it what it is, although

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I do no he has a bit of a fascination

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with those things because he's got a couple of friends

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that he said helo to that are on those mobility scooters,

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and he gets so excited when he sees them he

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tries to get on. I think he would be happy

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to get on one. I think he actually want time

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for himself. He's lazier than me, a little bugger when

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he honestly, I think he's if I bought him a motorbike,

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I think he'd be over the moon. He's a bit

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of a speed freak, I think, old Vinny. Maybe it's

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because I can't let him run around because I can't

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allow him off the lead. So you know it's weird, though,

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isn't it. I can't let him off the lead. But

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he thinks I'm going to let him have a motorbike

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and ride around. If I can't trust you off the lead,

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vin I'm going to give you something that goes eighty

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miles an hour and let you on a motorway. Am

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I no? Eighty miles? Now probably a lot more than

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out of me. I don't know. So I go downstairs anyway,

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and the blokes it's not in the garden. So I

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walk around his front doors open. So I thought, okay,

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I'll just shout. I'm not shout shout, but like Hi, Hi.

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The thing is he's got like a heart condition, so

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I don't I'm saying it not because it's personally. I

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don't want to make him jump. So I have to

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begin out being gentle. You try and like hi, are

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you there? Hello? And he cann hear me. I think

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he's got hearing neighbor as well, but it's sort of

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kind of you know, I don't want to be like

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I will and him go oh and b be you know,

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be startled because a similar thing happened, but it's completely

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different thing happened. Actually it was similar because it involved him,

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but it didn't really involve him, but he was part

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of the story. The other neighbor, another neighbor which lives

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in the same block as him, came outside and I

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was in the garden. This is a few months ago.

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It was in the garden with any and it was

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like ooh, two o'clock, one pint thirty two o'clock in

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the morning. It was in the summer, so it was

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you know, it wasn't even cold. It was just nice, nice,

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kind of probably May June time. And the young bloke

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who lives in that block comes out. Made me jump. Men,

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he just got excited, start barking brilliant at two o'clock

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in the morning. That's what I needed. I didn't need it,

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That's what I meant. It was sarcasm. Okay, how to

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explain sarcasm? So yeah, anyway, he comes out, I said,

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why you made me jump? He laughed. He helped me

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off the floor and I said, He said, you're okay now,

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I said, yeah, I got my breath back. He said,

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I said, what were you doing hanging around in the dark.

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He said, I was going to ask you the same thing.

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I said, yeah, but I've got a dog. He said,

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I've got a dog. You haven't got a dog with

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you here, have you? I said, no, it's in the house.

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I said, I don't feel this conversation is going anywhere

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to you. He said no, Should we start again? So

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he did. He went back into the into this building,

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and I kind of walked back upstairs, took my clothes

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off and just looked out of the window with me

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underpants on. And I see him come out and he

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stand there looking for me, and like perhaps when he

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said to his start over me, perhaps he went inside

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as a joke and I took it too serious, and

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I kind of overdid it. So I had to put

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my clothes back on again and went downstairs and to

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the garden. He said, where were you? I said, but

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I just you know when you when you went when

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you said should we start over? And you went inside

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as a joke. I did as well, and I went upstairs,

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but I ended up taking my clothes off. He said, well,

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that's weird. I said, you're weird. He said, no, I mean,

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why would you go upstairs and take your clothes off?

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I said, because that's how I was before I came down.

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I was standing looking through the window, looking out into

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the garden in just my my underpants. And I realized

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as I said that, I actually thought that I myself

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was a bit weird because it seemed like a kind

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of strange thing to do, strange thing to tell anyone

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that I've just done. And he did like point that out.

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Why are you Why are you standing in your flat

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just in your underpants looking out into the garden. I said,

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what does it matter what I'm wearing? He said, yeah,

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but it sounds a bit strange that you would tell

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me that. I said, yeah, but they're my windows. I'm

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allowed to look through them. You know they's see through

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for a reason. He said, yeah, but there's see through

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both sides. You know, we person we can see you

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in your window. He said, no, you can't. He said, yes,

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you can. You can't see me when I'm at my window.

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He said, yeah, I can see you when you're window.

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I said, all right, then wait here. I went back

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upstairs and I waved to him. He said can you

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see me? And he started laughing. So I shouted out

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open the window, said can you see me? He said no,

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but I made you go up there. He was laughing,

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so he said you need to come back down and

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said okay. So I had to put my clothes back

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on again, went all the way downstairs, and I said,

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why did you do that? He said do what? I said,

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why do you? Why do you say you could see

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me and get me to go all the way back upstairs,

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take my clothes off, sadd me me underpants, and you

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say you can't see me? He said, why did you

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get undressed again? I said, I would be funny. He said, okay,

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this is going nowhere, is it? I said no, not really.

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He said, I thought you was going to sort of

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thank people for your birthday messages. And the PayPal gifts

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on this podcast. I was, I was, but I seemed

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to have got a little bit sidetracked. He said, Yeah,

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I noticed you do there quite a lot. It's almost

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like the press record and you start talking and you

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don't know where it's going to go, like you've got

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no preparation. But you don't even rehearse, do you? I said, rehearse?

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I can't even spell the word. What do you mean?

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Why would I? How could I rehearse this? He said,

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if you ever tried to rehearse, you know, actually put

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together some kind of well written podcast episode where at

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the very least you're coherent. I thought, Wow, he's saying

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that I'm incoherent, he said, in a not a bad way,

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just in a kind of a bit mumbled a bit,

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not not not verbally. It's not that I can't verbally

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understand the words that you're saying. It's just it's not

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always easy to follow because you're going in different directions,

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and then you keep going back on yourself, and then

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which a thing that you were talking about has gone

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out on my mind because you're talking about something different,

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and I'm wondering even though I can't remember what you

233
00:20:10.440 --> 00:20:14.799
first started out talking about whether or not you can

234
00:20:14.960 --> 00:20:18.319
remember what you were talking about, and if we're ever

235
00:20:18.359 --> 00:20:21.720
going to get back to that, or you're just going

236
00:20:21.759 --> 00:20:26.559
to continue this way until something else hooks your interest

237
00:20:27.039 --> 00:20:33.799
and you start talking about that other thing. I said,

238
00:20:33.799 --> 00:20:38.359
are they new shoes you've got there? He says, why

239
00:20:38.400 --> 00:20:41.279
are you asking about my shoes? I said, I'm just

240
00:20:41.319 --> 00:20:44.640
being friendly, I'm just wondering. I'm just I decided I

241
00:20:44.680 --> 00:20:46.400
want to get a new hobby, and I thought maybe

242
00:20:47.680 --> 00:20:53.720
shoes would be an interesting hobby. He says, two things. Firstly,

243
00:20:55.599 --> 00:20:59.960
I don't believe you. What do you mean? I don't

244
00:21:00.119 --> 00:21:04.519
believe By the way, how are people ask you, Jason?

245
00:21:04.559 --> 00:21:07.359
I said, yeah, okay, I didn't know any of my name.

246
00:21:08.599 --> 00:21:11.359
How are people listening supposed to know which one of

247
00:21:11.400 --> 00:21:16.000
us are talking? I said, well what I said, you

248
00:21:16.759 --> 00:21:20.440
should at least to a different voice. Otherwise it's just

249
00:21:20.640 --> 00:21:27.480
one person talking right now. It could be me or you. Yeah,

250
00:21:27.519 --> 00:21:31.759
but isn't it now? You know it? You know that

251
00:21:31.880 --> 00:21:36.039
because you're here. You can you know it's me talking.

252
00:21:36.880 --> 00:21:42.680
But the audience don't know who's talking. I think they do.

253
00:21:42.839 --> 00:21:48.279
I think you, uh, you downplay the in the intellectual

254
00:21:48.400 --> 00:21:54.680
prowess of my listeners. I have a very selective, highly

255
00:21:54.720 --> 00:22:01.799
intelligent base of people that listen to my recordings. There's

256
00:22:01.839 --> 00:22:07.359
no dumb dumbs listening to me. It's all super clever people.

257
00:22:10.160 --> 00:22:16.039
We both laughed, and I said, why do you think

258
00:22:16.119 --> 00:22:21.759
that I'm lying? Well, what do you mean? What about

259
00:22:22.079 --> 00:22:24.200
about the shoes? Oh? Okay, we're going back to that now.

260
00:22:24.319 --> 00:22:28.400
We Yeah, it was genuine. I'm thinking of becoming interested

261
00:22:28.400 --> 00:22:35.200
in shoes. He said, you can't. He can't decide, He can't.

262
00:22:35.680 --> 00:22:38.359
He couldn't get the words out. He said, you can't

263
00:22:38.359 --> 00:22:44.079
decide to become interested in something. And said, what do

264
00:22:44.160 --> 00:22:48.559
you mean? He said, you're either interested in something or

265
00:22:48.599 --> 00:22:53.640
you're not interested in it. You can't just choose. Oh,

266
00:22:53.799 --> 00:22:56.559
I think I'm going to become interested in this thing.

267
00:22:57.400 --> 00:23:00.799
And I've got an idea. I'm going to become interested

268
00:23:00.799 --> 00:23:07.119
in bird houses, building bird houses. That's I think I'm

269
00:23:07.119 --> 00:23:12.519
interested in becoming interested in that. So you can't be

270
00:23:12.599 --> 00:23:16.240
interested in becoming interested in something? Is that what you're saying?

271
00:23:18.839 --> 00:23:30.640
I think so? He said, hmmm, So what else do

272
00:23:30.680 --> 00:23:36.839
you not believe? He asked me, No, what else? I

273
00:23:36.880 --> 00:23:39.559
said to him, what else don't you believe Steve. When

274
00:23:39.559 --> 00:23:43.359
I'm getting confused, he said, you aren't. Yeah. I said, shush,

275
00:23:44.359 --> 00:23:48.920
that was a narrative over the narrative. He said, you're

276
00:23:48.960 --> 00:23:53.519
kind of a narrative over a narrative. I said, I can.

277
00:23:56.839 --> 00:23:59.799
I mean, I think it's a commentary over a narrative

278
00:24:00.279 --> 00:24:03.559
you're thinking about. I said, I don't know what it is.

279
00:24:07.400 --> 00:24:14.039
He said, Okay, your shoes, the shoe and my shoes.

280
00:24:14.079 --> 00:24:18.519
You said that you think my shoes are ISO said yeah.

281
00:24:18.559 --> 00:24:22.480
And I would argue that you were being insincere. And

282
00:24:22.519 --> 00:24:25.839
I said, what do you mean? He says, two in

283
00:24:25.920 --> 00:24:31.359
the morning. You can't even see my shoes. He caught

284
00:24:31.400 --> 00:24:36.000
me out there. I couldn't see anything. I could hear

285
00:24:36.039 --> 00:24:39.279
a voice. I wasn't even one hundred percent sure as him,

286
00:24:39.279 --> 00:24:45.240
to be honest, I said, anyway, if you're getting all that,

287
00:24:49.240 --> 00:24:56.279
why are you hear He said, I live here. I said, no,

288
00:24:56.319 --> 00:25:01.880
I don't mean that. He's what you want to Are

289
00:25:01.920 --> 00:25:05.359
you talking about biologically? I said no. I said, like,

290
00:25:05.359 --> 00:25:07.440
why are you in the garden at two in the morning?

291
00:25:09.799 --> 00:25:16.880
He said, I'm locked out? I said, why did you?

292
00:25:16.880 --> 00:25:18.839
You could have told me this right at the beginning.

293
00:25:20.079 --> 00:25:23.039
That's the beginning of the sentence high I'm locked out.

294
00:25:23.759 --> 00:25:26.680
That would have saved us like twenty minutes of talking

295
00:25:26.720 --> 00:25:32.200
absolute nonsense. And he said yeah, but he kind of

296
00:25:32.200 --> 00:25:37.480
got half a podcast out of it. I said, yeah, true,

297
00:25:38.640 --> 00:25:41.960
but it has distracted me from the point of the podcast,

298
00:25:42.400 --> 00:25:46.519
which was to thank my listeners for all the lovely

299
00:25:46.680 --> 00:25:51.240
birthday messages and the PayPal gifts. That is why am

300
00:25:51.240 --> 00:25:54.160
I on here to do that. That's what this recording

301
00:25:54.279 --> 00:26:00.160
was specifically for. He said, are you just interspersing that

302
00:26:00.279 --> 00:26:04.160
throughout the recording just so you have said it and

303
00:26:04.200 --> 00:26:09.920
then you're just because continue talking rubbish? I said, don't

304
00:26:09.960 --> 00:26:15.799
analyze me, don't analyze, don't don't pick apart everything I'm saying,

305
00:26:15.880 --> 00:26:18.559
And like, you know, oh, why are you saying that?

306
00:26:18.759 --> 00:26:23.000
Then why are you doing that? Then? Me me me, me, me, me me. No,

307
00:26:24.160 --> 00:26:27.720
I don't play that game, mate, He said, don't call

308
00:26:27.799 --> 00:26:33.119
me mate. I said, all right, sorry, he's a big lad.

309
00:26:33.240 --> 00:26:38.759
I don't want to upset him. And I said, so

310
00:26:38.839 --> 00:26:43.079
you're locked out. He said yeah. I said why He said,

311
00:26:43.079 --> 00:26:47.359
because my key. I don't know my key. I said, no,

312
00:26:47.400 --> 00:26:51.200
I understand what lockdown means because I can't open the door. Yeah,

313
00:26:51.240 --> 00:26:57.519
I understand that. Why don't you just knock on the

314
00:26:57.559 --> 00:27:00.960
door because he Liz was, Mom, it's only I think

315
00:27:00.960 --> 00:27:05.039
he's like twenty years old or something, nineteen twenty. It's weird.

316
00:27:05.039 --> 00:27:08.839
He was ten years old. And I moved inner and

317
00:27:11.920 --> 00:27:17.359
he said, oh, I can't. I said why not? He said,

318
00:27:17.440 --> 00:27:22.200
my mom's not here. She's away for the weekend or

319
00:27:22.240 --> 00:27:33.160
a few days or something. I said, oh, what neighbors.

320
00:27:34.039 --> 00:27:39.720
Is there anybody got a key? Is there anybody in

321
00:27:39.759 --> 00:27:42.960
your block that's got a key? And he said, yeah,

322
00:27:43.000 --> 00:27:44.039
two people.

323
00:27:46.119 --> 00:27:46.400
Or one?

324
00:27:46.640 --> 00:27:49.960
No, one person. I think it was the one that

325
00:27:50.160 --> 00:27:59.519
bloke with the scooter outside. I said, well, why don't

326
00:27:59.519 --> 00:28:01.400
you give him a knock? He said, I did, but

327
00:28:01.559 --> 00:28:05.160
really lightly, so I don't want to disturb him at

328
00:28:05.160 --> 00:28:08.440
two o'clock in the morning. And I said, there's not

329
00:28:08.480 --> 00:28:10.480
really any point knocking on his door if you don't

330
00:28:10.480 --> 00:28:14.039
want him to wake up. I mean, if you knock

331
00:28:14.079 --> 00:28:18.599
him really lightly, if you don't want him to actually

332
00:28:18.599 --> 00:28:20.759
hear you, what's the point in doing it to start with.

333
00:28:23.440 --> 00:28:27.599
He said, yeah, that's a valid point, actually yeah, and

334
00:28:27.720 --> 00:28:32.200
thought about that. I said, exactly, there's no point in

335
00:28:32.279 --> 00:28:36.759
knocking on the door if if you purposely don't want

336
00:28:36.839 --> 00:28:39.680
him to hear. So I said, just knock. Why are

337
00:28:39.759 --> 00:28:42.640
you not allowed, He said, I don't want to disturb him.

338
00:28:43.200 --> 00:28:47.559
I said, but he's got the key, your emergency key. Yeah.

339
00:28:47.799 --> 00:28:53.400
He said yeah. I said, well, this is an emergency.

340
00:28:54.160 --> 00:28:56.640
That's the whole point of a neighbor having a key

341
00:28:57.279 --> 00:29:00.039
is if you lose your key, because I think he

342
00:29:00.079 --> 00:29:02.240
lost it, or he'd left it his friends, or I

343
00:29:02.279 --> 00:29:08.200
don't know, if you lock yourself out. It wasn't the summer.

344
00:29:09.480 --> 00:29:12.680
Was it the summer? I think it was still. Yeah,

345
00:29:12.720 --> 00:29:17.440
it wasn't warm. I don't know if it was warm.

346
00:29:18.119 --> 00:29:22.359
I want to make this story a bit more, a

347
00:29:22.400 --> 00:29:25.960
bit more exciting. There was a blizzard. There was a

348
00:29:26.039 --> 00:29:32.680
blizzard and everything was being blown away, and it was

349
00:29:32.960 --> 00:29:39.920
like a scene from The Wizard of Us, the not

350
00:29:40.000 --> 00:29:42.960
the one where they're walking down at Yellow Prick Road singing.

351
00:29:45.279 --> 00:29:51.000
But anyway, he said, I don't want to wake him up.

352
00:29:51.079 --> 00:29:54.400
I said, well, to be fair, that's kind of the

353
00:29:54.400 --> 00:29:59.799
whole point of why he's there. He said, that's a bit.

354
00:30:00.880 --> 00:30:03.119
It doesn't exist so that I could wake him up

355
00:30:04.400 --> 00:30:07.000
at two in the morning. I said, no, I don't

356
00:30:07.039 --> 00:30:08.680
mean that. I mean that's the why he's got your

357
00:30:08.759 --> 00:30:13.599
key in case of an emergency. And this is an emergency.

358
00:30:14.200 --> 00:30:20.599
I mean it's it's he's only sitting around outside, all right. Well, anyway,

359
00:30:21.240 --> 00:30:24.079
I knock on the door, and as I knock, and

360
00:30:24.079 --> 00:30:30.480
I'm realizing that he's he's got his health conditions, and

361
00:30:30.559 --> 00:30:38.880
I don't want to wake him up either, because I'm like, oh,

362
00:30:39.079 --> 00:30:45.680
you know what, You've got a point there. So I

363
00:30:45.720 --> 00:30:51.400
think that I end up tapping. I just I saw

364
00:30:51.440 --> 00:30:53.839
him a few days later, the bloke that was saying

365
00:30:53.880 --> 00:30:57.960
so he should have knocked louder I said, yeah, thanks,

366
00:30:59.160 --> 00:31:01.799
doesn't help hour though, does it help? You know? It

367
00:31:01.799 --> 00:31:08.279
doesn't help then telling me that now, So I thought,

368
00:31:08.440 --> 00:31:11.599
why don't you go? What else can we do? And

369
00:31:11.640 --> 00:31:13.160
he said that's right. I was just go and sit

370
00:31:13.160 --> 00:31:18.839
in the garden and just wait until it's a decent

371
00:31:18.880 --> 00:31:21.279
hourist and then he's going to knock on the blood

372
00:31:21.319 --> 00:31:24.400
store to get you know, in the morning, about seven

373
00:31:24.519 --> 00:31:28.839
or whatever. And I said, you can't be out here

374
00:31:28.920 --> 00:31:34.759
all night. I said, let's get I said, let's phone

375
00:31:35.880 --> 00:31:41.160
a what's it. Let's phone the council, get them to

376
00:31:41.200 --> 00:31:47.319
come out and they can put I think he's having

377
00:31:47.319 --> 00:31:55.880
a dream. Can said, it's not gonna do it now,

378
00:32:00.839 --> 00:32:06.000
that's annoying. He does this, Eh, eh, I don't know

379
00:32:06.000 --> 00:32:10.640
what he's dreaming. Now we do? I know. There's no

380
00:32:10.720 --> 00:32:23.880
way of known, is there? Yeah? So where are Oh?

381
00:32:23.960 --> 00:32:26.119
This is a well planned story. Let me look at

382
00:32:26.119 --> 00:32:29.759
my notes. I've been hours of writing this story out

383
00:32:29.799 --> 00:32:35.880
for you. This. Oh yeah, where else? I don't know

384
00:32:35.920 --> 00:32:39.880
what I'm saying? Yeah. I said, well, why don't we

385
00:32:39.960 --> 00:32:45.079
call a counsel up and get a locksmith. This is

386
00:32:45.079 --> 00:32:46.960
an emergency because they've.

387
00:32:46.759 --> 00:32:51.079
Got an out of hours thing at the council. So

388
00:32:51.359 --> 00:32:53.400
he said, oh, if you're sure, I said, yeah, come on.

389
00:32:53.519 --> 00:32:59.480
So I brought her up here. I phone the council

390
00:33:01.440 --> 00:33:03.680
and they said it was not really an emergency. I said,

391
00:33:03.680 --> 00:33:08.160
it is an emergency as a young lad. He can't

392
00:33:08.240 --> 00:33:11.640
get into his home. Have you got a neighbor that's

393
00:33:11.640 --> 00:33:13.480
got a key?

394
00:33:14.480 --> 00:33:18.519
Yes? I can. Yeah, but we can't. I said, Look,

395
00:33:18.720 --> 00:33:21.279
he won't wake up. I've knocked on his door really loudly.

396
00:33:21.319 --> 00:33:25.720
He can't get him out of bed. He said, he

397
00:33:25.799 --> 00:33:29.720
you is sure? I said, what do you mean? You sure?

398
00:33:29.559 --> 00:33:35.240
You're not loudly? I said, yeah, why are you questioning? That.

399
00:33:36.359 --> 00:33:40.039
He said, he you sure, Jason. I said, this is weird.

400
00:33:40.119 --> 00:33:42.359
Why are you talking to me like that? He said,

401
00:33:42.359 --> 00:33:45.480
I don't know. I'm just wondering. You're sure it wasn't

402
00:33:45.599 --> 00:33:49.480
just because you're concerned. He didn't want to didn't want

403
00:33:49.519 --> 00:33:53.480
to jolt him out of his sleep, and didn't want

404
00:33:53.480 --> 00:33:59.960
to upset him. Didn't want to, you know, cause problem.

405
00:34:00.640 --> 00:34:03.759
I said, this is a weird conversation. Do I know you?

406
00:34:03.839 --> 00:34:08.679
He said, yeah, it's me. It's Tom, I said Tom.

407
00:34:09.320 --> 00:34:11.280
He said, yeah. We used to work together in the

408
00:34:11.280 --> 00:34:25.840
call center Tom Tom. Yeah, Tom, I worked in a canteen.

409
00:34:27.480 --> 00:34:31.480
Oh I know mate. How do you recognize me? He said? Oh? No,

410
00:34:32.199 --> 00:34:37.760
I knew where you lived, did you Yeah? I always

411
00:34:37.800 --> 00:34:44.400
knew where people lived. Now I should add here, he's

412
00:34:44.440 --> 00:34:48.280
not listening to this part of conversation. I should add

413
00:34:48.320 --> 00:34:52.519
to Tom. I mean he works in a canteen, work

414
00:34:52.639 --> 00:35:01.559
with me. I used to get like a food mainly

415
00:35:01.679 --> 00:35:05.000
just like snacks, really, you know, things like breakfasts and stuff,

416
00:35:05.079 --> 00:35:13.239
breakfast rolls and stuff. But I wasn't working. It's not

417
00:35:13.320 --> 00:35:15.800
like he sat next to me and all we did

418
00:35:15.840 --> 00:35:19.280
the same job. I mean technically we worked together as

419
00:35:19.320 --> 00:35:25.159
far as being in the same organization. Huh. I said,

420
00:35:25.159 --> 00:35:27.360
all right, anyway, how are you doing? He said, oh,

421
00:35:27.880 --> 00:35:31.639
got so much to tell you. I said, okay, well

422
00:35:31.719 --> 00:35:35.519
if you hold that in for a second and perhaps

423
00:35:35.559 --> 00:35:40.559
we can get this key situation sorted out. He said,

424
00:35:40.599 --> 00:35:44.280
all right, just like you, that is, Jason. I said,

425
00:35:44.360 --> 00:35:48.960
why is that? He said, always thinking about work, always

426
00:35:48.960 --> 00:35:53.800
putting work first. And I said, are you sure you've

427
00:35:53.800 --> 00:35:58.599
got the right Jason? We laughed, We did laugh at that.

428
00:35:59.000 --> 00:36:02.840
Everyone laughed, even a blow downstairs. He woke up, put

429
00:36:02.840 --> 00:36:04.760
his head out the window like that. That was a

430
00:36:04.760 --> 00:36:09.599
good one, and he went back to sleep again. And

431
00:36:09.679 --> 00:36:15.440
so the council said, well, I said, look, he's a

432
00:36:15.480 --> 00:36:18.199
young lad. He's on his own. His mum's away, because

433
00:36:18.199 --> 00:36:23.519
that's the first thing, al where's his mum? Then I said, look,

434
00:36:24.159 --> 00:36:27.639
he's a young lad. He's outside on his own two

435
00:36:27.719 --> 00:36:32.639
in the morning. He needs his mom's not coming back

436
00:36:32.679 --> 00:36:36.000
for three days or two days. Can you please send

437
00:36:36.039 --> 00:36:40.199
a locksmith round. He can stay here till locksmith gets here.

438
00:36:40.920 --> 00:36:44.280
And then you know, he said, well, I see what

439
00:36:44.320 --> 00:36:50.320
I can do. Then he phones out and says, oh no,

440
00:36:50.400 --> 00:36:56.360
I can't do that for whatever reason. So so he

441
00:36:56.440 --> 00:36:58.920
looks at me. Then mind, I go and sit in

442
00:36:58.920 --> 00:37:01.159
the garden. I said, you welcome to sit on the

443
00:37:01.159 --> 00:37:06.960
city if you want, and wait till the morning. And

444
00:37:08.360 --> 00:37:09.840
I'm looking out the window at this point and I

445
00:37:09.880 --> 00:37:14.719
look back and he's gone. He's literally run out. Do

446
00:37:14.760 --> 00:37:18.599
you know when you see the cartoons where people are

447
00:37:18.639 --> 00:37:20.360
running through a door and you see the shape of

448
00:37:20.400 --> 00:37:23.480
their body left in the door, like in a gap.

449
00:37:24.000 --> 00:37:28.559
That's what it was like. He didn't want to stay here,

450
00:37:29.559 --> 00:37:38.639
blind me after all I did to help. So yeah, anyway,

451
00:37:39.360 --> 00:37:51.039
my voice is getting croaky and in a drink. I

452
00:37:51.079 --> 00:37:54.400
didn't do much yesterday. Really, I spoke to my dad

453
00:37:54.440 --> 00:38:01.519
for a little bit and I didn't even do it.

454
00:38:01.760 --> 00:38:07.320
I didn't even do it a recording. It's terrible and

455
00:38:08.039 --> 00:38:20.840
terrible of me. Yeah, I just I didn't want to

456
00:38:20.840 --> 00:38:29.760
do anything. I just wanted to just just relax, which

457
00:38:29.800 --> 00:38:41.320
it did. Had a shower that was. It wasn't so

458
00:38:41.400 --> 00:38:43.920
much because it was my birthday, where it's like, you know,

459
00:38:46.599 --> 00:38:54.760
it's more because my neighbors asked me to Apparently once

460
00:38:54.800 --> 00:39:02.760
a year is not enough. Yeah, so I didn't realize

461
00:39:02.800 --> 00:39:04.559
people were joking when they said I'm going to have

462
00:39:04.599 --> 00:39:08.320
my annual shower, have my annual bath on my birthday.

463
00:39:08.559 --> 00:39:11.960
I thought that was like a thing. But people were

464
00:39:12.000 --> 00:39:14.159
joking and always said, let me know when they're joking

465
00:39:17.119 --> 00:39:27.840
all those years of scaly skin. So I the bloke

466
00:39:27.960 --> 00:39:36.159
with the it's not a beach buggy, is it kind

467
00:39:36.159 --> 00:39:43.360
of like a beach buggy? But the little car thing

468
00:39:43.440 --> 00:39:53.199
in the garden, I was saying to him, Vinnie is

469
00:39:53.400 --> 00:39:58.199
absolutely obsessed with getting under there. And he said, oh,

470
00:39:58.360 --> 00:40:02.920
because one of my cats sleeps on the seat because

471
00:40:02.920 --> 00:40:09.199
it's very warm and cozy. I said, oh. And then

472
00:40:09.280 --> 00:40:13.199
the weird thing about that is both those cats can

473
00:40:13.280 --> 00:40:18.400
lay on the garden and Vinnie will go nowhere near them,

474
00:40:18.719 --> 00:40:21.079
like no one near them. He will walk around them,

475
00:40:22.039 --> 00:40:24.119
even if he was on the lead of the lead.

476
00:40:24.320 --> 00:40:26.480
He's never off the lead in the garden or anywhere else.

477
00:40:26.519 --> 00:40:30.719
But he would not if he was on the lead

478
00:40:31.000 --> 00:40:34.559
of the lead. Rather, he would still walk around. He

479
00:40:34.639 --> 00:40:38.920
won't go anywhere near those cats. He's a little scaredy

480
00:40:38.960 --> 00:40:45.239
cat himself. It's weird that words scaredy cat, because cats

481
00:40:45.239 --> 00:40:53.880
aren't scared, are they? Cats are brave, cats are fearless.

482
00:40:53.960 --> 00:41:00.480
Sometimes little bit run away from dogs. I don't think

483
00:41:00.519 --> 00:41:04.480
it's even from fear. It's almost like it's a bit

484
00:41:04.480 --> 00:41:11.400
of fun. Or dogs chasing me, oh, something that can

485
00:41:11.440 --> 00:41:16.480
only move probably twenty of the speed that I can move,

486
00:41:17.239 --> 00:41:20.320
or I think on a or dogs running towards me.

487
00:41:20.400 --> 00:41:23.639
After I'll just finished reading this newspaper and then I'll

488
00:41:23.719 --> 00:41:27.119
jump onto I hop onto the fence and just laugh

489
00:41:27.199 --> 00:41:32.679
at it, look it up at me, barking. You can't

490
00:41:32.679 --> 00:41:36.440
get to me, can you. I might climb that tree

491
00:41:36.480 --> 00:41:41.519
and get stuck, or pretend I'm stuck, just to annoy

492
00:41:41.559 --> 00:41:47.239
the neighbors, to get more worried. And then as one

493
00:41:47.239 --> 00:41:49.760
of the neighbors managed to get a big one of

494
00:41:49.800 --> 00:41:54.400
those big things what they call the ladders, and gets

495
00:41:54.480 --> 00:41:56.559
up to me, and I can scratch them and just

496
00:41:56.679 --> 00:42:03.519
jump down and giggle, because that's what cats do. Yeah,

497
00:42:04.000 --> 00:42:22.880
not all cats. I remember in nineteen nineteen eighty probably

498
00:42:27.239 --> 00:42:37.800
nineteen eighteen nine, yeah, probably about nineteen eighty nine, maybe

499
00:42:37.920 --> 00:42:48.559
ninety nineteen ninety, nineteen eighty nine, I went around some

500
00:42:48.639 --> 00:42:53.639
friends place and they had two cats, two kittens. I

501
00:42:53.679 --> 00:42:56.320
picked one up. It weed all over me. They found

502
00:42:56.320 --> 00:43:05.480
it hilarious. And I swear that these two cats, these

503
00:43:05.519 --> 00:43:18.960
two kittens were running around the walls. I'm not even joking.

504
00:43:22.159 --> 00:43:26.920
They were running around the walls, chasing each other. Now,

505
00:43:27.119 --> 00:43:33.159
back in those days, we used to have wallpaper. You

506
00:43:33.239 --> 00:43:35.320
might still have wallpaper. I don't know. I don't have

507
00:43:35.360 --> 00:43:39.280
it here, but everywhere have wallpaper back in them days,

508
00:43:39.480 --> 00:43:44.199
pretty much apart from those places that didn't. So they

509
00:43:44.239 --> 00:43:47.320
had somebody cling on to their claws. But they were

510
00:43:47.400 --> 00:43:52.039
running around the walls, up and down the curtains and

511
00:43:52.239 --> 00:43:58.880
around the walls, almost defying gravity. And you may think

512
00:43:58.880 --> 00:44:06.079
I'm telling fips, and I might be, but my memory

513
00:44:06.239 --> 00:44:12.800
that's there's something that I've never seen before, and it

514
00:44:13.000 --> 00:44:20.159
just made me like wow, that's just wow. It wowed me.

515
00:44:21.400 --> 00:44:26.400
In fact, I might have actually literally verbalized the wow,

516
00:44:27.800 --> 00:44:33.280
like wow, probably more like wow that things. That's my

517
00:44:33.360 --> 00:44:40.840
voice was a lot higher pitched. It's before puberty. He

518
00:44:40.960 --> 00:44:47.840
was only twenty five. I don't know what. Oh yeah, anyway,

519
00:44:47.960 --> 00:44:52.280
So that was that done. So that's the only reason

520
00:44:52.400 --> 00:44:56.119
Vine was trying to get underneath that tar paul in

521
00:44:56.199 --> 00:44:59.599
or whatever to get to the beach buggy thing was

522
00:44:59.639 --> 00:45:07.760
because the cat had been sleeping on the seat. Makes

523
00:45:07.800 --> 00:45:12.639
no sense because if there was if he thought a

524
00:45:12.679 --> 00:45:16.599
cat was actually under there, one of them cats. He

525
00:45:16.639 --> 00:45:19.519
wouldn't try and get under there, he would keep well away.

526
00:45:20.320 --> 00:45:24.039
And he can smell. He does smell. He needs a bath.

527
00:45:25.119 --> 00:45:27.360
He can, you know, he can. Surely he can smell

528
00:45:27.400 --> 00:45:30.440
if there's a cat under there, unless a different cats

529
00:45:30.519 --> 00:45:38.880
under there, one that he wants to chase. Ah, that's

530
00:45:38.960 --> 00:45:40.519
what I'm gonna do. I'm going to read some of

531
00:45:40.559 --> 00:45:44.159
the messages out I got which are on my Jason

532
00:45:44.239 --> 00:45:50.400
Newland's Boring group. Mitchell writ's happy birthday, Jason. Hopefully something

533
00:45:50.519 --> 00:45:54.599
very unboring happens for you today. It comes with a

534
00:45:54.639 --> 00:45:57.960
great night's rest. He deserve it today for all the

535
00:45:58.039 --> 00:46:01.039
great sleep you've caused me. Thank you, Mitchell. It's very

536
00:46:01.119 --> 00:46:01.519
kind of you.

537
00:46:03.559 --> 00:46:15.559
And some of a look, okay, what other ones that

538
00:46:15.639 --> 00:46:16.039
we got?

539
00:46:20.159 --> 00:46:23.559
Maria says, happy birthday. I hope you have an enjoyable day.

540
00:46:24.000 --> 00:46:28.440
Thank you, Maria. Christine says your young at heart, enjoy

541
00:46:28.480 --> 00:46:31.280
the rest of your evening. I hope it involves pizza

542
00:46:32.440 --> 00:46:36.679
and chocolate. Very best wishes. Thank you, thank you very much.

543
00:46:37.199 --> 00:46:42.440
I did have some cookies or Hope says, happy birthday,

544
00:46:44.000 --> 00:46:53.719
juicy JJ, thank you, Hope, thank you Maria. All right,

545
00:46:53.800 --> 00:46:57.480
and severithing Happy birthday to you, Jason. Have a great

546
00:46:57.559 --> 00:47:01.239
day to day, best wishes. Thank you, Thank you, Maria,

547
00:47:02.079 --> 00:47:06.159
and Molly writes, Happy birthday to you Jason new Land.

548
00:47:06.880 --> 00:47:14.920
Thank you, Molly new Land. Thanks Molly, I do appreciate that. Temmy,

549
00:47:14.920 --> 00:47:17.440
he says, Happy birthday, Jason. I hope you have a

550
00:47:17.480 --> 00:47:23.400
wonderful birthday. Thank you very much. And Carl says, let's

551
00:47:23.400 --> 00:47:28.760
surprise Jason with a bunch of PayPal gifts for his birthday. Everybody, Well,

552
00:47:28.760 --> 00:47:31.199
thank you very much, Carl. That's very lovely of you

553
00:47:32.159 --> 00:47:36.119
as well. Thanks. I'm saying, wow, I've already read it.

554
00:47:36.159 --> 00:47:38.159
I don't know why I'm pretending I've reading it for

555
00:47:38.199 --> 00:47:42.039
the first time, but it did very much surprise me

556
00:47:42.119 --> 00:47:48.039
when when I saw that, and I did get some

557
00:47:48.159 --> 00:47:53.480
Facebook of some PayPal gifts, So thank you. I'm going

558
00:47:53.519 --> 00:47:55.000
to say thank you to everyone that gave me one

559
00:47:55.039 --> 00:48:02.760
of them as well. If I'm oh down have the list,

560
00:48:04.800 --> 00:48:08.840
but thank you to everyone. I will try and send

561
00:48:08.880 --> 00:48:27.360
you a personal thank you. Okay, Mike, Mike Winnipeg, could

562
00:48:27.360 --> 00:48:31.639
you remind me get us again when it is okay,

563
00:48:32.039 --> 00:48:35.599
Carus says Today Tuesday, twenty sixth of August if you

564
00:48:35.719 --> 00:48:38.719
live in the UK tomorrow if you like me living

565
00:48:38.760 --> 00:48:44.639
in several hours behind. So Jonathan says, I thought he

566
00:48:44.880 --> 00:48:49.199
was on this page, like doesn't he post on here?

567
00:48:49.239 --> 00:48:52.519
And can't you see this? Carus says yeah, but it

568
00:48:52.519 --> 00:48:55.559
will be surprised by the by the unknown number of

569
00:48:55.559 --> 00:49:00.400
paper gifts are a will arrive at least. So yeah,

570
00:49:00.440 --> 00:49:03.039
I did wake up to that. I was lovely, Thank you.

571
00:49:03.800 --> 00:49:08.679
It was a big surprise. Happy birthday from Michelle. Thank

572
00:49:08.719 --> 00:49:13.320
you Michelle. And then I got Kathleen. Happy birthday, daddy.

573
00:49:13.760 --> 00:49:17.880
So I got a message from Vinnie via Kathleen. So

574
00:49:18.039 --> 00:49:21.719
Vinnie's been calling you, isn't he again? And thank you?

575
00:49:21.840 --> 00:49:26.760
It's very nice. God is a picture of him my room?

576
00:49:26.800 --> 00:49:32.639
Don't laugh? Look MESSI or another birthday from rich Rick. Sorry,

577
00:49:32.880 --> 00:49:36.440
I hate birthday Jason, many returns of the day. Thank you,

578
00:49:37.039 --> 00:49:43.199
thank you. Rick Robin says, happy birthday, Happy, happy birthday Jason,

579
00:49:43.199 --> 00:49:46.079
and many more. Well, thank you very much. Is he

580
00:49:47.719 --> 00:49:52.119
it's a goat blowing on things. That's a lot of

581
00:49:52.159 --> 00:49:56.320
things it's blowing on. I like that. Happy birthday Jason

582
00:49:56.360 --> 00:50:00.599
from Christine. Thank you have a great day. Thank you

583
00:50:00.719 --> 00:50:07.000
very much. Christine. Oh there's a two from Christine, Have birthday, Jason.

584
00:50:07.159 --> 00:50:12.400
Thank you, Kathleen, Happy birthday, sending love and best wishes.

585
00:50:12.480 --> 00:50:17.559
Thank you very much. So that's lovely. I do appreciate that.

586
00:50:17.760 --> 00:50:24.320
Thank you very much everybody I have. I had a

587
00:50:24.400 --> 00:50:31.239
lot of email Facebook messages, like a lot, so I

588
00:50:31.280 --> 00:50:33.480
can't even go for all of them. I've tried to

589
00:50:33.519 --> 00:50:42.679
reply to them. Yeah, I had many, many, many. So

590
00:50:42.719 --> 00:50:47.039
what I'm going to do is read out suddenly other

591
00:50:47.119 --> 00:50:54.159
message on my page. So happy birthday from deb Thank you, Sherry,

592
00:50:54.480 --> 00:50:59.039
wish you Shari, Sherry, wish you the happiest birthdays. Freedom

593
00:50:59.119 --> 00:51:03.480
fifty five, Yeah, fifty five of us. I'm not sure

594
00:51:03.519 --> 00:51:09.199
if it tastes quite like freedom, more like old age dolorous.

595
00:51:09.639 --> 00:51:14.519
Happy birthday, Thank you, Zoe. Happy birthday, Jason, will big

596
00:51:14.519 --> 00:51:18.639
a love heart. Hope to see you soon. I mean sorry,

597
00:51:18.639 --> 00:51:21.880
it says dear Sexy Jason, Happy birthday. Oh, thank Zoe.

598
00:51:22.639 --> 00:51:29.320
And Carlin says happy birthday, Sherry. Happy is the birthdays

599
00:51:29.320 --> 00:51:33.840
to you. Enjoy your day? Thank you, Cheryl? Did I say, Sherry, Cheryl?

600
00:51:34.360 --> 00:51:39.320
My eyesight? Hannah Hannah says happy birthday to you, So

601
00:51:39.400 --> 00:51:51.960
thank you, Hannah. So I'll if there's anything I'm replied

602
00:51:51.960 --> 00:51:53.320
to or try to reply.

603
00:51:53.119 --> 00:52:04.119
In, it's gonna go to somebody other pages on Facebook.

604
00:52:09.320 --> 00:52:20.119
Yeah, let's have a look. All right, nothing on there.

605
00:52:24.679 --> 00:52:30.440
Let's go on to the other one. Jason Newland, Hypnotist,

606
00:52:33.320 --> 00:52:38.239
twenty five thousand followers, Well, thank you, okase, I've got

607
00:52:38.239 --> 00:52:42.280
a comment a happy belated birthday wish is good to

608
00:52:42.280 --> 00:52:44.480
see you after such a long time. That's from Peter,

609
00:52:46.400 --> 00:52:50.920
And I don't know. I'm not quite sure what. That's

610
00:52:50.960 --> 00:52:53.800
good to see me after such a long time. I post.

611
00:52:55.280 --> 00:53:06.960
I post every single podcast onto this page. I'm not sure.

612
00:53:09.599 --> 00:53:12.639
I'm not quite sure what unless you mean I don't

613
00:53:12.800 --> 00:53:16.440
do not post I suppose I don't maybe don't post

614
00:53:16.519 --> 00:53:20.679
messages on here so much, but posted the questions for

615
00:53:20.760 --> 00:53:24.519
Q and a Friday and other things like that. But

616
00:53:25.320 --> 00:53:27.400
every time I do a new recording, I do post

617
00:53:27.400 --> 00:53:43.480
it onto my Facebook pages, all of them. Yeah, Karen says, Hi, Jason,

618
00:53:44.039 --> 00:53:46.719
have your birthday? Can't remember if it's the day or tomorrow?

619
00:53:47.159 --> 00:53:50.719
Quick question? Will you or have you done any hippen

620
00:53:50.800 --> 00:53:56.840
therapy sessions for addiction? Thank you? I did do some

621
00:53:56.920 --> 00:54:02.280
stuff years ago, and I have to look it up.

622
00:54:02.400 --> 00:54:06.400
He'd probably be on my website. I think I did.

623
00:54:08.119 --> 00:54:23.199
Uh yeah, uh uh uh. I wonder if I can

624
00:54:23.239 --> 00:54:32.079
get into my email on here? No? No, no, no

625
00:54:32.079 --> 00:54:48.840
no no email email email email, can I no in box?

626
00:54:53.519 --> 00:54:58.719
Downloading your messages? That might take a few hours. Please

627
00:54:58.760 --> 00:55:05.079
sign in. I am signed in. You're talking about signing. Okay,

628
00:55:05.760 --> 00:55:08.039
I'm going to have to say thank you to the

629
00:55:08.199 --> 00:55:14.880
individual people for your PayPal gifts. I'll do that today.

630
00:55:16.119 --> 00:55:18.559
But you know, I really do appreciate it, and I

631
00:55:18.599 --> 00:55:26.599
appreciate the kind words that I've received. And I've said

632
00:55:26.639 --> 00:55:34.760
it before and I'll say it again. No I do.

633
00:55:34.920 --> 00:55:38.800
I said thank you. You know, I do have the

634
00:55:38.840 --> 00:55:46.119
best listeners. That's what I believe. I got the best

635
00:55:46.159 --> 00:55:49.119
listeners out of any podcast. I may not have the

636
00:55:49.119 --> 00:55:54.920
best podcast, the best content, best quality, the best host,

637
00:55:55.199 --> 00:56:01.199
but I definitely have the best listeners. So thank you, genuinely,

638
00:56:01.280 --> 00:56:04.880
thank you for listening, and thank you for supporting me.

639
00:56:07.119 --> 00:56:11.400
And now I'm going to go and have some ready break. Yeah,

640
00:56:14.119 --> 00:56:17.159
so I'm going to go. Thank you for listening. Remember

641
00:56:17.519 --> 00:56:22.280
to be kind to yourself because you do deserve to

642
00:56:22.320 --> 00:56:29.679
be happy and be gentle with yourself. You deserve to

643
00:56:29.679 --> 00:56:39.480
feel safe lots of love, Bye,