July 22, 2025

(music) Not so Subtle Nurse | LMBYTS #1397 | Jason Newland | 22nd July 2025

(music) Not so Subtle Nurse | LMBYTS #1397 | Jason Newland | 22nd July 2025
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Hello, and we'll welcome to Jasonnewland dot com. My name

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is Jason new Land. Please only listen when you can

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safely close your eyes. This is mm hmm. Let me

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bore you to sleep. It is I don't know what

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it is. It's Tuesday again. I'm a little bit out

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of rhythm with the regular recordings that I have been

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doing for the past few months. You know, the Monday's

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boring objects, Trivia, Tuesday, Whisper, Wednesday Q and a Friday.

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Well though I've been doing a Q and a Friday,

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I'd see only one. I've really kind of stuck to,

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as it were, So I thought I just do general lot,

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general thing, just say hi, a little catch up, you know,

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not tomato as So, I'm sitting here in my living room,

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venice colded up to me by my side, my left side.

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I got the window open, but for now it's fairly quiet.

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There was hours and hours of loud chit chat in

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the garden earlier. It's Cindy gone forever. I don't know

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how people find that much to talk about, which is

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a weird cupboard for me, because I don't seem to

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run out of things to talk about.

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It just.

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I prefer to do it on my own rather than

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with someone. I did well earlier. Actually, someone asked me

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how I was, and I asked them how they were

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back afterwards. See, I'm learning. I'm learning to communicate with humans.

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It's about time. So I give a little update on

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what's going on. My daddy has finished his treatment that

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he was having and RT. I think it's called Beginnings

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of R. The next next letter is T not hormone replacement.

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So he's had four weeks of that, five days a week,

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four weeks in a row. And I spoke. It was

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quite weird, actually, because I spoke to him yesterday I

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think it was yesterday, yesterday afternoon, maybe it was Sunday,

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a loose track, and he he actually opened up about

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how he was feeling. And that was weird because he

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doesn't normally do that. Normally, he just says, yeah, everything's fine,

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and that's it. There's not nowhere to go after that.

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But he actually went through how he's feeling and what

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he's been through the last four weeks, and yeah, wow,

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So I was quite surprised. It seems to be doing

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quite well. I'm very tired, though, very very tired, so

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that's kind of to be expected, and everything seems to

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be going to plan. So outside of that being going

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up to the hospital, went up yesterday to see uncle's sausages. Yeah,

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is a lot of confusion, a lot of you know,

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it's it's difficult to try and explain to someone that

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the because the blood's not clearing, it's the toxines for

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the blood that it can affect a person's mind. But unfortunately,

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kind of in the same way as when I'm going

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through a shall we say episode, it's hard to separate

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from that and realize that it's an episode rather than

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believe in it. So he was particularly agitated like yesterday,

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as he has been really for about two weeks, three

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weeks even. So I went and spoke to the nurse

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and I said, oh, nurse. She said, what, who are you?

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What do you want? And I said, oh, God, want

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so many things right now, A big bar of chocolate.

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She said me too. I said I'd quite like to

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get on a cruise and she said me too. Should

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we run away together? And I said no, thanks, not really.

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She said, oh, oh, never mind. She said that anything else?

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I said, yeah, about uncle sausages? She said who? I said,

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Uncle sausage. And then I realized she didn't know who

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Uncle sausages was. So I explained who I was talking about,

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and she said, why do you call him uncle sausages?

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And I said, because I've got a little dog called Vinnie,

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and he gives Vinnie sausages. That's something they do. He

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gives it, buys some sausages, and Vinnie loves the sausages,

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and so Vinny calls him Uncle sausages. And she said,

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but he's a dog. How can he call someone something

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he can't talk. I said, no, but it's just a

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bit of fun. She said, no, we don't have fun here.

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This is this is a very serious place. I said,

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I don't know. It's a serious place, but we're still,

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you know, try to have a little bit of fun,

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little bit of verbal play. And in fact, he actually

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calls Vidi sausages now, so he's Uncle sausages and Vinnie's sausages.

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And she said, but what do you want? I said, Okay,

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if I'm BlimE me, I think it's because I didn't

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want to run away with her, but hey, it's just me.

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Maybe I'm just being a little bit egotistical. But I

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actually had that look at her eye when she said

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should run away together, almost like she had a bag

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packed already and it was hidden in the toilet. I

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would it be hit Not inside a toilet, but like

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maybe your little cabinet I lock her maybe anyway, So

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I said, well, here's a situation. Uncle's sausages. He's very,

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very agitated and anxious. Is there anything you can do?

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She said, oh, she said, we'll explain what you mean.

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So basically, when I go there and when he phones

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me up, he tells him all this stuff that he

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thinks is happening. Very I don't want to be rude

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about him, but it's like very conspiratorial, potentially hallucinatory, paranoy, parannoiary,

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you know. So he's already being told in the past,

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you know that he's being paranoid, and he's got very

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angry with that. He said, I never want to hear

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that word again. I said, okay, So I'm speaking to

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the nurse outside the ward, you know, just she said, Well,

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he doesn't tell us any of this stuff. He just

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says everything's fine. I said, I know, he's just you know,

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it's hard to help someone if they don't tell you.

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She said, well, I don't know what we can do.

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I said, well, is there any chance you can see

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get some kind of evaluation from the a psychiatrist to

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see whether it is if it's the condition he's got,

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or maybe it's a previous mental health issue that's a

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re arisen because I don't know his background. And you know,

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there's no judgment from my perspective because I've I'm a

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bit of a mental myself, and I so I do

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have something. Oh, I've got something to tell you later.

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It's I I've got a letter through today from the

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council tax people. So the council tax is kind of

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like it used to be, call rates, and it covers

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things like, I suppose everything that's done by the local council,

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roads and waste and all that kind of stuff. So

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I got let's saying that I was exempt from council

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tax for the next year due to being you get

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this right, And this is because of the benefits agency

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contacted them or my doctor. They contented my contact with

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my doctor and my doctor. You know, I'm not sure

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quite how they got their information. It's really weird seeing

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this in print. This is what they said. I'm not

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going to get up and read it because it means

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disturbing a little one, but it's etched in my brain

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as you are exempt from paying counsel tax for the

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next year due to severe what was it, severe mental impairment?

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Severe mental impairment. That doesn't sound good, does it. That

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doesn't make me sound like a hero. I mean I

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kind of in a way. Rather pay fifteen pound a

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month to not hear those words or not to see

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that in writing, to not be called severely mentally impaired.

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I know it's another way to explain my brain not

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working properly, but BlimE me, blimin neck. So I said

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to the nurse, I said, is there a chance she

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can go and have someone come and give him evaluation,

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see how he is, or something else you can do?

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She said, well, legal with me. I'll go and find

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it out. We're going to find out. And she walks

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away and she turns back and says, are you sure

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don't want to do the cruise? I said no, I

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want to say I'm fine, thanks, And she turned away

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just honestly stomped. She was just slamming her feet on

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the ground as she walked away. I'm going to get

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that a lot. You know, I don't, I am I

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saying this anyway. So I go back into the room

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with mister sausages, mister Uncle's sausages, and we're just chatting.

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I managed to disrupt his flow and redirect him to

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something else other than what he was talking about, because

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I didn't I didn't really think it was much use

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to him getting angry, you know, so I thought, just

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distract him a little bit, focus on something different. And

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the nurse came back in probably about fifteen minutes later,

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bearing in mind that, well, he's a subtlety this is

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the subtlety, subtlety level of this nurse. She came in,

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she looked at me. First of all, she's talking about

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him in front of him. To me, didn't even look

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at him. I'm afraid, Uncle Sausages. He can't have a

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psychiatric review. They won't come and see him. I'm like,

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it's right there. It's like what's going on. It's like

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it's weird, very weird. And then she said, but we're

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going to give him some The doctors prescribed some medication

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to help him with the paranoia, and shouted that word

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out really loud again. Directed just talking to me. He

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was not happy because it sounds like I was talking

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about it and being paranoid. And it was just they

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know his situation, they know that what he's some of

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the stuff he said in the past. It's just the

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last few days he's been quiet, just telling me. So

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they said, we can give him some medication tonight. Won't

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give it during the day because it'll be tired. I

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don't know what it was. I thought they were going

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to give him something to help clear away that stuff,

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you know, clear away the toxins from his blood. I

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really don't know what it was. I'm not great with medication.

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And I said to Uncle Sausages here, okay with that?

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He said, because he was hiding his medication before, he

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didn't want to take it. And I said, look, I

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wouldn't never let any want to hurt you. And he said,

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I know. I said, no, seriously, if this is if

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you know, this is a medication I would take if

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I had to, if it was going to help. The

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only medication they're going to give you is to help you.

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They're not here to do anything but help. That's his

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sole purpose, you know. When they come into your room,

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it's to help you, nothing else. And he kind of,

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I think, pretended to agree with me, and then he

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was kind of cheered up for the rest of the day.

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The rest of the morning I was with him, cheered up.

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He was quite jovial. I went and got gotten some

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sort of stuff to eat from downstairs in the hospital,

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and we talked about the golf and he seemed all right.

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He seemed, you know, fairly okay, you know, all things considered.

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And I had a miss call for him yes late

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afternoon yesterday. I was probably having my mid afternoon nap.

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So I called him back. No answer. I called him

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back again, called him back again in Gooden back, called

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him back, called him back again quite a few times

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last night. Then I called him again this morning quite

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a few times, and he was not answering. Now either

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he had his phone on silent because his phone was

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on because it was ringing, or well, there's no way.

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It's really loud. Now. I know his hearing is not great,

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but it's very very loud. I mean the whole hospital

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can hear it. I mean, in fact, if I stick

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my head out of the window, I can hear it.

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I can't. I don't know why I said that. I

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really stick my head out of the window. And while

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my giraffe, my head wouldn't fit out the window. We'd

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fit out the window. But there's a window there isn't

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there doesn't open that wide for me to just so.

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Eventually I called him up this afternoon and the answer

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was the phone, and I said, I've golet sausages. He said, yeah,

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really quiet the way he was talking. I said, you're right,

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he said, h. I said, so you. I was trying

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to call you all morning and last night he said,

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I was asleep. I'm al to you know. I said, wow, okay,

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you know, and of course you're allowed to sleep. I'm

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not saying you're not allowed to sleep. I'm just making

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sure that you're okay because I did find the hospital earlier.

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I didn't tell him this about to find the hospital

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area this area earlier, early on, just to find out

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if he's okay. And they went into his room and

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they said, yeah, it's fine. I think he started barking.

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What was I talking about? Oh yeah, the nurses in

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there telling me that just oh no, I would have

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done that bit. Oh yeah. So I'm talking to him

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on the phone, and not only is he talking really quietly,

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he sounds like he's asleep, like he's almost half, well

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three quarters asleep, not even half asleep. Really, yeah, you know,

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I'm thinking I kind of hope it's the medication, to

231
00:21:21.119 --> 00:21:25.799
be fair, But at the same time, because I was

232
00:21:25.839 --> 00:21:33.839
hoping that whatever medication they gave him would reduce his

233
00:21:34.599 --> 00:21:40.480
anxiety levels, that's it, and then maybe he he'd be

234
00:21:40.480 --> 00:21:45.119
because it's he's stuck in there and he's had enough,

235
00:21:45.240 --> 00:21:47.640
you know, he's had enough of being there, and he's

236
00:21:47.680 --> 00:21:51.799
waiting to be moved into a nursing home, and he's

237
00:21:51.920 --> 00:21:58.240
just you know, he's just bored, bored. But even yesterday

238
00:21:58.240 --> 00:22:01.119
he said he wasn't even bothered about He said, you

239
00:22:01.119 --> 00:22:06.279
can take the iPad back if you want. I never

240
00:22:06.359 --> 00:22:10.519
expected that, because you can watch movies and you can

241
00:22:10.559 --> 00:22:16.160
watch I realized, I'm not sure how much meaning that

242
00:22:16.200 --> 00:22:21.039
stuff would have to him. But still there is still

243
00:22:21.160 --> 00:22:23.839
sport on. There's always some kind of sport on around

244
00:22:23.839 --> 00:22:33.559
the world. And he did say yesterday he just needed

245
00:22:33.640 --> 00:22:37.240
some sleep. He says it a couple of times, because

246
00:22:37.240 --> 00:22:39.799
he said he's not getting much sleep. I just need

247
00:22:39.799 --> 00:22:43.079
some sleep. So I think he got it last night.

248
00:22:43.759 --> 00:22:45.880
He got a good night's sleep for the first time,

249
00:22:46.039 --> 00:22:56.440
possibly in weeks. And I think that in itself might

250
00:22:56.480 --> 00:22:59.680
have cleared his brain a little bit, might have made

251
00:22:59.759 --> 00:23:07.319
him a little bit more himself. I was gonna this

252
00:23:07.359 --> 00:23:09.279
is this is a day I don't go and see him.

253
00:23:09.279 --> 00:23:15.599
On Tuesday. I nearly went up there, nearly, but I

254
00:23:15.680 --> 00:23:20.519
thought I'll wait, just, you know, in case he does

255
00:23:20.559 --> 00:23:22.200
call me. And he did in the end. One night,

256
00:23:22.440 --> 00:23:25.319
he did answer in the end, and then he hung

257
00:23:25.400 --> 00:23:29.240
up while he was talking to me, And he phoned

258
00:23:29.279 --> 00:23:31.759
me about an hour ago, and a half an hour ago,

259
00:23:31.960 --> 00:23:36.200
I answered, and there was nothing. I could just hear him,

260
00:23:36.200 --> 00:23:39.160
but he wasn't. I hear him breathing, but I couldn't

261
00:23:39.160 --> 00:23:42.240
hear him. He didn't say anything to me, So I

262
00:23:42.279 --> 00:23:46.880
think he might have accidentally phoned me, just holding the

263
00:23:46.920 --> 00:23:52.640
phone or something. So I'll go and see him in

264
00:23:52.720 --> 00:23:56.359
the morning. And I want to speak to his nurse

265
00:23:56.480 --> 00:23:59.880
to see because he might not have actually had any table,

266
00:24:00.319 --> 00:24:03.400
because sometimes, you know, they're so busy in there, they

267
00:24:03.440 --> 00:24:06.440
might have just forgotten. Because he's in this little room

268
00:24:06.519 --> 00:24:10.279
on his zone. It's a little bit out the way.

269
00:24:10.559 --> 00:24:13.039
They might you know, they're busy with all the other

270
00:24:13.119 --> 00:24:22.119
people and it's you know, human error. Sometimes they forget stuff,

271
00:24:22.920 --> 00:24:26.880
so they might have forgotten to give him the medication.

272
00:24:27.519 --> 00:24:30.680
And because he's had twenty four hours, the staff are

273
00:24:30.759 --> 00:24:34.519
changing over, aren't they. So he's dealing with a different

274
00:24:34.599 --> 00:24:38.519
nurse at night, a different nurse during the day, and

275
00:24:38.559 --> 00:24:41.680
then maybe a different nurse a day after because all

276
00:24:41.720 --> 00:24:44.960
our different rotors and stuff. So I'm not sure if

277
00:24:44.960 --> 00:24:48.440
they do twelve hour shifts, so it might have three

278
00:24:48.440 --> 00:24:55.960
different nurses during the twenty four hours period. I mean,

279
00:24:56.000 --> 00:24:58.640
he hasn't had the same nurse three days in a row.

280
00:24:58.680 --> 00:25:03.119
I don't think it's different. Yeah, it's I've spoken to

281
00:25:03.240 --> 00:25:07.960
I think four different nurses so far in that ward,

282
00:25:09.640 --> 00:25:15.599
maybe five, and they've all been great. It's just it's

283
00:25:19.079 --> 00:25:23.839
I mean, one was a little bit. I don't know.

284
00:25:24.160 --> 00:25:27.400
There's something about talking about talking about the patient in

285
00:25:27.440 --> 00:25:31.000
front of the patient when the patient's actually looking at that.

286
00:25:31.640 --> 00:25:36.039
I don't know if I do. I'd enjoy that myself.

287
00:25:37.640 --> 00:25:42.480
I mean I've talked about him. I've asked questions to

288
00:25:42.599 --> 00:25:46.359
doctors when the doctor's been there and Uncle Sasages has

289
00:25:46.400 --> 00:25:50.359
been there and I'm there, and because Uncle Sausages won't

290
00:25:50.400 --> 00:25:54.839
ask any questions, I asked the questions, but I include

291
00:25:55.200 --> 00:26:01.079
Uncle Sausages in it. I don't just like talk about him.

292
00:26:00.559 --> 00:26:04.160
I'm kind of talking with him, if that makes sense,

293
00:26:05.839 --> 00:26:11.519
Like I'm another mouth. That was weird, I'm Uncle sausages

294
00:26:11.599 --> 00:26:17.839
second mouth. Yeah, that's very very strange, very strange visual.

295
00:26:20.759 --> 00:26:26.960
So I hope that when I see him tomorrow he's

296
00:26:28.960 --> 00:26:34.799
all right, because he sounded very It's like it wasn't there.

297
00:26:36.960 --> 00:26:43.480
And I know that different medication can have different effects

298
00:26:43.480 --> 00:26:49.160
in that, but just that was kind of I don't know.

299
00:26:49.960 --> 00:26:51.720
I don't know what to think. So I'll go and

300
00:26:51.759 --> 00:26:55.319
speak to his nurse tomorrow and ask what he's been

301
00:26:55.359 --> 00:26:59.799
given and whether or not that's normal for those sides

302
00:26:59.799 --> 00:27:03.920
of things, or whether it's there's another reason for it.

303
00:27:06.039 --> 00:27:09.359
But yeah, that's kind of it really, Although he did

304
00:27:09.559 --> 00:27:12.920
he did say something about how he's jumper had been

305
00:27:13.039 --> 00:27:17.799
stolen this morning or this afternoon, so I don't know

306
00:27:17.839 --> 00:27:20.559
what's going on there. I said, I'll speak to you

307
00:27:20.559 --> 00:27:26.319
tomorrow and we'll work it out. And the other day

308
00:27:26.640 --> 00:27:31.119
I took in I bought him some tomato ketchup sachets

309
00:27:31.759 --> 00:27:35.440
because I took him in my tomato ketchup in a bottle.

310
00:27:36.480 --> 00:27:38.039
But that made a bit of a mess. So I

311
00:27:38.079 --> 00:27:40.519
thought he said, I'd rather have them in sachets because

312
00:27:40.519 --> 00:27:46.039
that's what he's used to. So I ordered lots of

313
00:27:46.160 --> 00:27:49.759
sachets online on Amazon, took them in as the old

314
00:27:49.799 --> 00:27:56.400
bag of them, and he found that funny. And I

315
00:27:56.400 --> 00:27:57.799
think he thought I was just going to go into

316
00:27:57.880 --> 00:28:04.160
McDonald's and just grab a handful something like that. It's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

317
00:28:05.400 --> 00:28:09.759
Anyway I went. He did the same thing on for

318
00:28:09.799 --> 00:28:13.559
a Friday. He said, no, yesterday, Sorry, I've run out

319
00:28:13.599 --> 00:28:21.079
of sugar. No, no, he said the what did they

320
00:28:21.240 --> 00:28:29.960
say something about didn't have any sugar to put in

321
00:28:30.039 --> 00:28:33.839
his tea? It was it his tea or just something?

322
00:28:33.839 --> 00:28:38.559
What else would you have sugar on? He had something,

323
00:28:38.640 --> 00:28:40.559
but he didn't have any sugar, and he said it

324
00:28:40.680 --> 00:28:45.720
ruined it. Not ice cream, because that would be unnecessary,

325
00:28:45.759 --> 00:28:49.880
wouldn't it mind you? It might taste nice. It's sugar

326
00:28:49.920 --> 00:28:53.839
on some ice cream. Not something that I would do

327
00:28:53.839 --> 00:29:01.079
because I'm not supposed to really have sugar. Not a

328
00:29:01.119 --> 00:29:09.680
hot dog. What was he needed sugar for? Maybe it

329
00:29:09.799 --> 00:29:14.519
was yeah, maybe it was for a cup of tea

330
00:29:15.240 --> 00:29:21.640
cup of coffee. What isn't another the plane's going past

331
00:29:22.119 --> 00:29:35.160
all day, can you hear that? I don't really know why,

332
00:29:35.240 --> 00:29:39.680
because I don't think there's any kind of celebrations. There's

333
00:29:39.720 --> 00:29:49.680
no d D double DD Eday, King's Birthday, celebrations, V Day,

334
00:29:49.920 --> 00:29:52.920
VD Day. There's none of those stuff because there's a

335
00:29:53.000 --> 00:29:56.039
lot of those different days. And we get all the

336
00:29:56.319 --> 00:30:01.480
aircraft flying over towards London and the fly back and

337
00:30:01.480 --> 00:30:04.160
they probably come from different parts of the country to

338
00:30:04.240 --> 00:30:10.160
do a big old flyover over London Trafalgar Square or

339
00:30:10.319 --> 00:30:16.200
wherever they do it, but or the Senotaph. I don't

340
00:30:16.200 --> 00:30:21.559
know where the Senotaph is. However, today I don't think

341
00:30:21.599 --> 00:30:24.960
there is a particular thing on. I mean there might be,

342
00:30:26.440 --> 00:30:29.000
I'm just not aware of it. There might well be

343
00:30:29.039 --> 00:30:34.079
a big celebration going on today. I don't know. I

344
00:30:34.119 --> 00:30:41.559
didn't even know. Oh yes, anyways at all. She gave

345
00:30:41.599 --> 00:30:46.960
me tea but no sugar, so I thought, okay, and

346
00:30:47.079 --> 00:30:49.400
he asked for the sugar, but she didn't come back.

347
00:30:50.480 --> 00:30:53.119
So I thought, I'll sort you out some sugar, and

348
00:30:53.160 --> 00:30:56.519
so I bought him on Amazon. Again. They're not being

349
00:30:56.559 --> 00:31:01.200
delivered yet, No, they haven't. No one hundred and forty

350
00:31:01.359 --> 00:31:03.599
packs of sugar like the long ones that you get

351
00:31:03.759 --> 00:31:07.319
in cafes and you know, you open the end up

352
00:31:07.359 --> 00:31:09.160
and you just pour it in, so you've got one

353
00:31:09.200 --> 00:31:13.759
hundred and forty of then come in. So I'll hopefully

354
00:31:13.759 --> 00:31:17.000
it should be delivered today and I'll take him to

355
00:31:17.079 --> 00:31:21.160
him tomorrow morning. I'm just trying to kind of give

356
00:31:21.200 --> 00:31:24.119
him what he needs, just to it's those little comforts

357
00:31:24.240 --> 00:31:32.400
because in his situation, I'm sure as heck would not

358
00:31:32.440 --> 00:31:36.359
be drinking tea without sugar. I would be having sugar

359
00:31:36.400 --> 00:31:43.119
with everything because I like sugar. I just unfortunately have

360
00:31:43.240 --> 00:31:45.559
to be a little bit careful with it, A little

361
00:31:45.559 --> 00:31:56.960
bit careful, not as careful as I should be, probably, yeah,

362
00:31:57.160 --> 00:31:59.000
I mean not literally. I haven't bought a bag of

363
00:31:59.039 --> 00:32:07.119
sugar for well over a year now, yeah, well over

364
00:32:07.160 --> 00:32:10.319
probably a year and a half. Whenever it was that

365
00:32:10.400 --> 00:32:13.079
I was told that I had to cut down and

366
00:32:13.759 --> 00:32:20.119
loose some weight, and I stopped with the sugar. No

367
00:32:20.240 --> 00:32:23.920
more sugar and breakfast seal, no more sugar and tea

368
00:32:24.039 --> 00:32:28.440
or coffee or though I don't drink coffee anymore, although

369
00:32:28.480 --> 00:32:30.839
I did drink coffee the other day. So I'm just

370
00:32:31.000 --> 00:32:37.079
pretty much just lied. Didn't know. I used to have coffee.

371
00:32:37.200 --> 00:32:41.119
Used to have one cup of coffee every morning with

372
00:32:41.160 --> 00:32:48.960
my breakfast for quite some time, possibly years, and then

373
00:32:50.880 --> 00:32:55.640
the rest of the day I would have tea. This

374
00:32:55.759 --> 00:32:59.599
is when I stopped drinking coke before that old not

375
00:32:59.599 --> 00:33:01.880
really to you all. I just have can to coke,

376
00:33:02.920 --> 00:33:07.200
but I stopped drinking coke, So, you know, tea, cups

377
00:33:07.240 --> 00:33:10.599
of tea and a fair bit of water. I do.

378
00:33:11.119 --> 00:33:17.160
I've always been quite an avid, avid, regular water drinker,

379
00:33:19.039 --> 00:33:29.079
and yeah, since since I was a kid. Really anyway,

380
00:33:30.000 --> 00:33:33.240
I ran out of coffee. This is even more boring

381
00:33:33.279 --> 00:33:36.480
that I wanted it to be. I do you ever

382
00:33:36.559 --> 00:33:40.559
stop yourself at heart, like midway in a sentence and

383
00:33:40.640 --> 00:33:45.480
think this is really boring? This is even this is

384
00:33:45.519 --> 00:33:50.240
too boring. I can't finish this sentence. It's just too

385
00:33:51.599 --> 00:33:55.079
I've got to do a U turn. This is really

386
00:33:55.200 --> 00:33:58.200
going to be tedious. Why am I even saying this?

387
00:33:59.599 --> 00:34:02.440
I'll think I'll continue, but I'm just just letting you know.

388
00:34:03.079 --> 00:34:07.240
I'm talking about coffee. What I talk about coffee? It's

389
00:34:07.240 --> 00:34:10.559
got to be more interesting things to talk about. Yeah,

390
00:34:10.639 --> 00:34:13.119
but it's supposed to be boring, isn't it. It's supposed

391
00:34:13.159 --> 00:34:17.159
to be bullying. Yeah, but there's a limit. There's a

392
00:34:17.280 --> 00:34:21.400
limit to boredom. I mean, I might as well just

393
00:34:21.880 --> 00:34:24.239
count how many times I've cut my toenails in the

394
00:34:24.320 --> 00:34:27.679
last ten years. It's on the same level of like

395
00:34:27.880 --> 00:34:35.960
complete tedium. Anyway, I finished the exciting story. So I

396
00:34:36.000 --> 00:34:41.280
was drinking coffee every day, one cup of day. That

397
00:34:41.440 --> 00:34:45.119
was my limit, A little bit of kickstart today it

398
00:34:45.159 --> 00:34:53.679
was yeah, all right, and then I ran out of

399
00:34:53.719 --> 00:34:58.760
coffee and there was no coffee available. Basically, I have

400
00:34:58.800 --> 00:35:02.280
my delivery delivered, the coffee was missing. There was none available,

401
00:35:04.000 --> 00:35:08.159
so I just had tea bags and I thought, what

402
00:35:08.159 --> 00:35:10.519
am I going to do? A cup of tea is

403
00:35:10.679 --> 00:35:14.159
not going to solve the issue. It's not the same

404
00:35:14.199 --> 00:35:19.599
as a cup of coffee. Now, at this time, I

405
00:35:19.800 --> 00:35:25.280
was drinking coffee and tea with sugar, so that's when

406
00:35:25.320 --> 00:35:32.119
the coffee finished before I stopped with the sugar, which

407
00:35:32.159 --> 00:35:33.920
is just as well, because there's no way in the

408
00:35:33.960 --> 00:35:39.639
world I'm ever what I say never, but generally I

409
00:35:39.639 --> 00:35:46.760
wouldn't drink coffee without sugar. It ain't happening. And I

410
00:35:46.800 --> 00:35:51.440
had a cost as coffee the other day, first coffee

411
00:35:51.440 --> 00:35:57.519
in probably a year, well over a year, and I

412
00:35:57.639 --> 00:36:00.440
had a couple of at least one or two sugars

413
00:36:00.440 --> 00:36:04.039
in it. I can't have I can't have coffee without sugar.

414
00:36:04.480 --> 00:36:08.800
Ain't going to happen. But as I was only having

415
00:36:08.840 --> 00:36:13.519
one coffee, you know, one coffee a year is allowed,

416
00:36:13.639 --> 00:36:18.400
I would say I would hazard a gift that I'd

417
00:36:18.440 --> 00:36:21.840
be okay with that, although I did feel a bit

418
00:36:21.880 --> 00:36:30.960
weird having all that caffeine running through me, the buzz ah.

419
00:36:33.320 --> 00:36:35.840
So yeah, I haven't had coffee really other than you know,

420
00:36:35.880 --> 00:36:40.199
when I did have coffee. I never drink coffee apart

421
00:36:40.199 --> 00:36:43.400
from when I do drink coffee. That's just a weird sentence,

422
00:36:45.440 --> 00:36:53.119
very weird. You usould drink a lot of coffee. I've

423
00:36:53.119 --> 00:36:59.400
been through phases in my life where like between the

424
00:36:59.400 --> 00:37:16.199
ages of seven and fifteen, maybe sixteen, yeah, fifteen sixteen,

425
00:37:16.320 --> 00:37:20.320
I was drinking coffee regularly. I drinking tea regularly. Sorry,

426
00:37:21.840 --> 00:37:25.360
just part of that was the culture. I drink tea.

427
00:37:25.880 --> 00:37:28.360
I don't have the occasional coffee, but not that often,

428
00:37:30.719 --> 00:37:33.639
not in the evening. But i'd have a coffee sometimes

429
00:37:34.519 --> 00:37:38.159
eleven Z's with a cup of coffee and some biscuits,

430
00:37:38.320 --> 00:37:48.320
you know, on a weekend and stuff. Yeah, I have

431
00:37:48.440 --> 00:37:52.480
cups of tea that would be kind of normal. But

432
00:37:52.519 --> 00:38:01.719
then when I left school, didn't really drink much in

433
00:38:01.800 --> 00:38:06.760
a way of tea. I mean, I did drink tea,

434
00:38:07.519 --> 00:38:12.480
but not a lot of tea. I think, you know,

435
00:38:12.559 --> 00:38:18.199
once I got sort of sixteen, seventeen eighteen, it was

436
00:38:18.679 --> 00:38:22.480
I suppose I had a bit more choice, didn't have

437
00:38:22.599 --> 00:38:26.079
to stick to tea because I was the one buying

438
00:38:26.320 --> 00:38:31.880
what I was drinking. And yeah, I think I started

439
00:38:31.920 --> 00:38:43.239
drinking more coke and more water, just trying to think,

440
00:38:43.519 --> 00:38:47.599
just you know, bits, just whatever. Really I can't remember,

441
00:38:48.239 --> 00:38:50.159
probably quite a bit of water because I was working

442
00:38:50.159 --> 00:38:54.639
in the hot environment, but definitely drinking coke other cans

443
00:38:54.679 --> 00:38:57.760
of drink. Lilt. I used to like lilt when I

444
00:38:57.760 --> 00:39:03.320
was about sixteen. Oh my goodness, lilt. It was lovely.

445
00:39:03.760 --> 00:39:11.440
It was gorgeous. M hmmm. It's a little bit like

446
00:39:11.559 --> 00:39:23.480
fencer really but lemon lemonee, not lemon. But I don't

447
00:39:23.519 --> 00:39:29.039
know how to explain a bit. I liked it, and

448
00:39:31.360 --> 00:39:36.400
so I went quite a few years where probably the

449
00:39:36.440 --> 00:39:44.320
only time I'd drink tea would perhaps be first thing

450
00:39:44.360 --> 00:39:48.199
in the morning with my breakfast, So that was kind

451
00:39:48.199 --> 00:39:50.079
of a regular thing. I'd have a cup of tea

452
00:39:50.320 --> 00:39:58.360
my breakfast, and then during the nineties, i'd have a

453
00:39:58.400 --> 00:40:05.280
pint of milk with my evening meal and water. So

454
00:40:05.320 --> 00:40:07.880
that was all i'd have in the evening, milk and

455
00:40:08.000 --> 00:40:13.039
water unless I went out, and then i'd have For

456
00:40:13.119 --> 00:40:15.400
a lot of the nineties, I would never drunk alcohol,

457
00:40:15.519 --> 00:40:20.960
so i'd just be drinking. I'd order a coke and

458
00:40:21.719 --> 00:40:24.760
i'd try and make the coke of coca glass, the

459
00:40:24.840 --> 00:40:30.199
glass of coke last as possible. So I'll try and

460
00:40:30.239 --> 00:40:33.639
get that sentence out properly. Now, I'd try and make

461
00:40:33.840 --> 00:40:37.920
a glass of coke last as long as possible. Because

462
00:40:39.559 --> 00:40:43.199
it wasn't just that I was tight, but I didn't

463
00:40:43.280 --> 00:40:51.039
have lots of money money, So I'd go out and

464
00:40:51.079 --> 00:40:53.519
i'd have like maybe ten pounds five or ten pounds

465
00:40:53.519 --> 00:41:00.760
to last me for the whole evening. You know that

466
00:41:00.760 --> 00:41:06.559
that was it. So what I did is I mean

467
00:41:07.159 --> 00:41:08.880
not all the time. There was periods when I had

468
00:41:08.920 --> 00:41:13.320
a bit more, a bit more cash than others, and

469
00:41:13.440 --> 00:41:22.920
maybe I would drink, you know, I think ninety four

470
00:41:23.000 --> 00:41:26.000
in the summer I started drinking, like going out drinking

471
00:41:26.039 --> 00:41:29.000
and stuff really like regularly. But that was like a

472
00:41:29.320 --> 00:41:33.559
for a summer eighty nine, I did as well, but

473
00:41:33.599 --> 00:41:41.199
I was just for the summer. Outside of that. During

474
00:41:41.199 --> 00:41:44.039
the whole of the nineties, other than when I was

475
00:41:44.079 --> 00:41:47.280
working and earned a cup of tea from the machine

476
00:41:50.559 --> 00:41:54.159
or a cup of coffee, I didn't drink you know,

477
00:41:54.360 --> 00:41:57.000
tier coffee, so that'd be mably two or three a day.

478
00:41:57.639 --> 00:42:01.239
But there was like tiny little those tiny little plastic cups,

479
00:42:02.559 --> 00:42:08.000
and yeah, so I didn't really bother with tea. And

480
00:42:08.039 --> 00:42:14.559
then in the two thousands, actually in two thousand, I

481
00:42:14.679 --> 00:42:21.119
got real really excited about tea again, which is weird,

482
00:42:22.440 --> 00:42:29.000
not excited, but I liked drinking tea, so I was

483
00:42:29.039 --> 00:42:38.039
getting through more tea during the day in two thousand

484
00:42:38.079 --> 00:42:45.000
and two thousand and one, and then two thousand and two, well,

485
00:42:45.000 --> 00:42:48.159
at the end of two thousand and one two thousand

486
00:42:48.159 --> 00:42:52.400
and two, I was drinking huge amounts of coffee at work,

487
00:42:54.559 --> 00:43:01.079
and that didn't do me any good. In two thousand

488
00:43:01.159 --> 00:43:05.239
and three, I pretty much stopped drinking coffee. It came

489
00:43:05.239 --> 00:43:08.760
out from a machine, so that wasn't Yeah, it was

490
00:43:08.760 --> 00:43:17.000
a bit rubbish, so I stopped doing that. Didn't I

491
00:43:17.039 --> 00:43:19.199
think I really had much. I suppose I get the

492
00:43:19.199 --> 00:43:25.440
odd coffee or tea, you know, leading into two thousand

493
00:43:25.480 --> 00:43:30.039
and seven when I stopped working in insurance, So it

494
00:43:30.079 --> 00:43:35.000
was about now this time of the year. In two

495
00:43:35.079 --> 00:43:42.119
thousand and seven, I basically as my second insurance job,

496
00:43:42.880 --> 00:43:47.440
second our three, and I was part time because i'd

497
00:43:47.480 --> 00:43:55.920
be nil in two thousand and six, nearing the I

498
00:43:55.960 --> 00:44:00.400
think it was September time two thousand and six, and

499
00:44:00.960 --> 00:44:05.000
I had some time off and they allowed me to

500
00:44:05.079 --> 00:44:07.840
go back part time after about a month off work,

501
00:44:08.400 --> 00:44:12.840
so I went back part time. That suited me perfectly

502
00:44:15.199 --> 00:44:19.519
because I could then do volunteering and I can do

503
00:44:19.639 --> 00:44:22.639
you know, the other stuff that I was doing. It's

504
00:44:22.960 --> 00:44:26.800
really good. And I was earning enough to get by

505
00:44:29.400 --> 00:44:31.039
just you know. It wasn't a lot, but I had

506
00:44:31.119 --> 00:44:34.559
enough to pay the rent and buy the food and

507
00:44:35.920 --> 00:44:43.079
have enough just bits and bops, you know. But then

508
00:44:43.719 --> 00:44:48.960
in I think it was June two thousand and seven,

509
00:44:49.519 --> 00:44:54.000
they hauled me into the office by a haul. They

510
00:44:54.039 --> 00:44:57.400
didn't they just asked me to go in there and

511
00:44:59.519 --> 00:45:02.679
about seven footsteps from where my desk was, so it

512
00:45:02.760 --> 00:45:06.559
wasn't a big deal. Anyway, I walked in there and

513
00:45:06.639 --> 00:45:12.320
my boss said, we need you to go full time again.

514
00:45:14.639 --> 00:45:18.599
I said, no, I don't want to. He said, but

515
00:45:18.760 --> 00:45:21.079
we want you to. I said, I don't want to

516
00:45:21.119 --> 00:45:28.760
do because, other than anything else I had, I liked

517
00:45:28.880 --> 00:45:33.239
that job. Now, you won't hear me say that about

518
00:45:33.360 --> 00:45:39.639
many of my jobs I've had in the past. And

519
00:45:39.679 --> 00:45:43.320
I've had a lot of jobs, like lots and lots

520
00:45:43.360 --> 00:45:48.880
and lots. That's one of the few jobs that I

521
00:45:49.000 --> 00:46:01.039
actually I didn't. Yeah, Sunday wasn't tarnished by thinking about

522
00:46:01.079 --> 00:46:03.880
going to work on a Monday. I didn't have that

523
00:46:04.440 --> 00:46:07.719
anymore because I was doing it part time. I liked

524
00:46:07.719 --> 00:46:15.000
the job full time as well, but I just I

525
00:46:15.079 --> 00:46:19.320
just struggled to keep it going. And I don't know

526
00:46:19.360 --> 00:46:23.760
how long i'd lasted part time, but I did quite

527
00:46:23.760 --> 00:46:36.280
well because I've been part time since probably October. Yes,

528
00:46:36.360 --> 00:46:39.880
I did like seven or eight months part time, so

529
00:46:39.920 --> 00:46:42.400
I was holding it together. I had a couple of

530
00:46:42.400 --> 00:46:45.880
weeks off, but other than that, I was doing all right.

531
00:46:47.840 --> 00:46:57.119
And I mean, chances are I I might still be

532
00:46:57.239 --> 00:47:03.599
there if the let me. I mean, I wouldn't still

533
00:47:03.639 --> 00:47:08.119
be there because the whole place closed down. They made

534
00:47:08.119 --> 00:47:13.280
everyone redundant, so and that was kind of coming. I

535
00:47:13.360 --> 00:47:15.360
kind of knew that as well, I think that's part

536
00:47:15.400 --> 00:47:18.400
of the reason why I was not so well. But

537
00:47:22.480 --> 00:47:27.880
it was, yeah, all things being equal and being good,

538
00:47:29.079 --> 00:47:31.280
I liked the job. I was good at the job.

539
00:47:32.679 --> 00:47:37.840
This is I'd moved from working in sales to listening

540
00:47:37.880 --> 00:47:41.360
to people's phone calls to make sure that they were

541
00:47:41.360 --> 00:47:44.880
doing the job correctly. So I was in compliance and

542
00:47:44.920 --> 00:47:53.199
I was very good at listening, concentrating. I had headphones

543
00:47:53.239 --> 00:47:57.679
and stuff, and I wasn't actually, I wasn't sitting on

544
00:47:57.719 --> 00:48:01.880
the desk listening to people talking and you know it's

545
00:48:01.920 --> 00:48:04.400
actually recorded calls, because that would have been off putting,

546
00:48:04.400 --> 00:48:11.079
wouldn't it Just sitting there one egg cup from the

547
00:48:11.079 --> 00:48:13.840
customer and when at a cup with strength from the

548
00:48:15.840 --> 00:48:23.239
salesperson a cup, yoga cup. Anyway, that's just a silly thing,

549
00:48:23.480 --> 00:48:33.639
silly visual And uh yeah, I was quite good at it.

550
00:48:35.239 --> 00:48:40.000
Not not sure if not playing my own trumpet or

551
00:48:40.079 --> 00:48:42.800
violin or whatever instrument. It's just you know, it's a

552
00:48:42.840 --> 00:48:46.119
factual thing. Was for some reason, I was pretty good

553
00:48:46.159 --> 00:48:53.000
at doing that. So I didn't want to leave, But

554
00:48:53.000 --> 00:48:58.559
at the same time, I didn't feel like a go

555
00:48:58.679 --> 00:49:03.119
full time again. At that point, I didn't think I

556
00:49:03.119 --> 00:49:06.360
could go full time anywhere. I just didn't because I'd

557
00:49:06.400 --> 00:49:15.039
already oh man, the amount of times I've had issues,

558
00:49:15.519 --> 00:49:17.840
you know, had to have time off and stuff with

559
00:49:17.920 --> 00:49:24.199
different jobs. So I was like, okay, I want to

560
00:49:24.280 --> 00:49:30.320
stay here. I like I like the company, I like

561
00:49:30.400 --> 00:49:35.280
the people I work with. I like the job. It's easy.

562
00:49:36.280 --> 00:49:39.519
It's challenging at times, but generally quite easy for me.

563
00:49:40.920 --> 00:49:44.599
And I got really well with my little team, and

564
00:49:44.679 --> 00:49:52.280
I was in. But then yeah, it was a choice

565
00:49:52.320 --> 00:49:56.920
of like, go full time or leave. That was it.

566
00:49:58.000 --> 00:50:00.039
And I said, okay, I'll go back full time. And

567
00:50:00.039 --> 00:50:03.280
then I came back the next day. I said, no,

568
00:50:05.039 --> 00:50:14.159
I'm leaving. And I had no idea what I was

569
00:50:14.199 --> 00:50:18.840
going to do. Well, I knew I was going to leave.

570
00:50:19.000 --> 00:50:23.800
That was it. I think I think I was sort

571
00:50:23.800 --> 00:50:29.519
of doing a little gamble. I was hoping that they

572
00:50:29.559 --> 00:50:34.320
would say, oh no, no, no, no, run after me.

573
00:50:34.800 --> 00:50:37.760
Oh no, d you sy jaj we need you. It's

574
00:50:37.920 --> 00:50:43.079
it's okay, you can, you can stay part time. I'll

575
00:50:43.199 --> 00:50:45.400
employ someone else to come in and I'll pay out

576
00:50:45.440 --> 00:50:48.719
my own wages, someone extra to do the extra work.

577
00:50:49.639 --> 00:50:56.239
We can't lose you. But no, that didn't happen. It

578
00:50:56.360 --> 00:51:03.599
was weird because when I left, I just said goodbye

579
00:51:03.679 --> 00:51:06.239
to But by this point my boss had we left,

580
00:51:08.199 --> 00:51:12.639
and all I had was the lady that I was

581
00:51:12.679 --> 00:51:14.519
sitting next to me, that I got really well with

582
00:51:15.119 --> 00:51:18.039
the people behind me, and I just said see her,

583
00:51:18.800 --> 00:51:24.480
and I was left. And it's almost like no one

584
00:51:24.559 --> 00:51:28.599
knew I was leaving, or no one cared. It's hard

585
00:51:28.599 --> 00:51:38.400
to believe. Very strange. Yeah, I felt a bit cold

586
00:51:39.079 --> 00:51:42.159
because I knew people in different departments because I've been

587
00:51:42.199 --> 00:51:45.199
in the sales department. I knew everyone in the sales department.

588
00:51:46.440 --> 00:51:50.920
Not just because I'd worked with most of them. Well,

589
00:51:50.960 --> 00:51:52.880
I hadn't worked with most of my work at the time.

590
00:51:52.920 --> 00:51:56.599
I'd worked with everyone, and then they took on another

591
00:51:58.000 --> 00:52:03.280
probably twice as many different people, maybe three times. I

592
00:52:03.400 --> 00:52:08.639
never heard. They took on a lot more people, and

593
00:52:08.679 --> 00:52:10.239
I got to know them because I was listening to

594
00:52:10.280 --> 00:52:13.480
their cause. So I felt like I knew them and

595
00:52:13.519 --> 00:52:16.199
I would speak to them, you know, and give them

596
00:52:16.239 --> 00:52:22.079
feedback and stuff. So not everyone was in love with

597
00:52:22.119 --> 00:52:28.480
me because they sometimes lost money due to not doing

598
00:52:28.480 --> 00:52:31.440
the job properly. And that wasn't my fault. That was

599
00:52:31.480 --> 00:52:40.280
just the way it was, you know, just there was

600
00:52:40.400 --> 00:52:41.960
I did thought I was going to get in trouble

601
00:52:41.960 --> 00:52:48.079
once some lad who was in renewals and he lost

602
00:52:48.199 --> 00:52:56.400
something like two hundred pound from his bonus because he

603
00:52:56.480 --> 00:53:07.480
failed every single one of his compliance things. And I said, well,

604
00:53:08.519 --> 00:53:12.199
I only marked two of them, and what's her name

605
00:53:12.239 --> 00:53:14.800
next to me? Mark two? We didn't do all four?

606
00:53:15.639 --> 00:53:20.000
Was it six? Three? I think I had six Either

607
00:53:20.039 --> 00:53:23.159
four or six, I can't remember, but I didn't do

608
00:53:23.199 --> 00:53:25.800
all of them, so it couldn't all be blamed on me.

609
00:53:28.400 --> 00:53:31.119
So the team leader he calls the big fuss. The

610
00:53:31.199 --> 00:53:34.239
team leader came up, wants to listen to the calls

611
00:53:34.280 --> 00:53:38.000
again and said, no, it was fine, And I said

612
00:53:38.000 --> 00:53:41.320
I'd listened to it again, and no it wasn't, and

613
00:53:41.360 --> 00:53:43.880
then my boss would listened to it. He said, no,

614
00:53:43.920 --> 00:53:47.760
it wasn't all these people listening to the call trying

615
00:53:47.800 --> 00:53:52.079
to trying to find a way to pay him. When

616
00:53:54.559 --> 00:53:57.039
I mean, when I listened back to the call, I

617
00:53:57.079 --> 00:54:01.679
didn't want myself to be wrong for because I quite

618
00:54:02.519 --> 00:54:05.119
I quite liked the idea that I was pretty good

619
00:54:05.119 --> 00:54:08.679
at a job. But at the same time i'd have

620
00:54:08.760 --> 00:54:13.079
been happy enough, and I wouldn't really, but I wanted

621
00:54:13.159 --> 00:54:14.480
him to have his money I didn't want him to

622
00:54:14.519 --> 00:54:18.159
lose money. I wouldn't have been happy if I'd been wrong,

623
00:54:19.159 --> 00:54:22.760
just because that brings up doubts in other people's minds. Then,

624
00:54:23.239 --> 00:54:26.039
so how many other ones as you've done wrong? I

625
00:54:26.079 --> 00:54:29.159
lost one hundred pounds last month. Maybe that was because

626
00:54:29.280 --> 00:54:33.360
him he doesn't know what he's doing. But I really

627
00:54:33.400 --> 00:54:37.519
didn't know what I was doing, very very very rarely

628
00:54:37.519 --> 00:54:39.679
will you ever hear me say that I was pretty

629
00:54:39.679 --> 00:54:44.679
good at that job. It was very simple, but I

630
00:54:44.760 --> 00:54:48.079
knew exactly what or I knew what needed to be,

631
00:54:48.599 --> 00:54:51.280
how things needed to be asked and as a certain

632
00:54:51.360 --> 00:54:54.159
way it was. I think it was ridiculous that the

633
00:54:54.239 --> 00:54:59.159
staff were made to do that. You know, I really

634
00:54:59.199 --> 00:55:02.039
did this, But it's just compliance. It's just the rules.

635
00:55:03.119 --> 00:55:18.800
His the rules is the financial whatever organization. But yeah,

636
00:55:19.039 --> 00:55:23.400
it's weird because I left thinking, oh, I did give

637
00:55:23.440 --> 00:55:28.159
to month's notice. So during that month I applied to

638
00:55:28.199 --> 00:55:37.000
go to university to do my counseling degree. I applied.

639
00:55:37.320 --> 00:55:42.400
I didn't get a result, I think until i'd left,

640
00:55:45.599 --> 00:55:51.599
because that would have been in the August or maybe

641
00:55:51.639 --> 00:55:54.840
it was in the July year. In August September I

642
00:55:54.880 --> 00:56:01.840
started university in October, So I think I probably went

643
00:56:01.880 --> 00:56:10.320
for an interview in the July, because I think they

644
00:56:10.360 --> 00:56:15.000
did the interviews before the clothes. I don't know. Yeah,

645
00:56:15.000 --> 00:56:16.960
I think I did. It might have be in June,

646
00:56:17.320 --> 00:56:21.559
BlimE me. Anyway, I think it was July. And then

647
00:56:25.440 --> 00:56:31.400
I got accepted. I went on to I got benefits

648
00:56:31.760 --> 00:56:37.000
housing benefit just for three months while I was unemployed

649
00:56:38.239 --> 00:56:41.920
waiting to go to university. Remember the they said another one.

650
00:56:41.960 --> 00:56:46.159
I remember the lady as it was a lady in

651
00:56:46.199 --> 00:56:49.039
this situation. It's not always a lady in my stories.

652
00:56:49.320 --> 00:56:52.239
It's quite often men as well. It was a man.

653
00:56:52.480 --> 00:56:57.800
It was a man. And she said to me, yeah,

654
00:56:57.840 --> 00:56:59.800
you won't get any housing benefit because you're living in

655
00:56:59.840 --> 00:57:03.480
this shared accommodation. It's a religious house because I was

656
00:57:03.519 --> 00:57:09.119
living with Buddhists. There's no locks on the doors, because

657
00:57:10.000 --> 00:57:16.199
that's what makes it a multiple occupancy whatever. I said, Yeah,

658
00:57:16.199 --> 00:57:19.480
but we trust each other, so it don't matter if

659
00:57:19.480 --> 00:57:21.719
there's no locks on the Door's class as a family.

660
00:57:23.280 --> 00:57:25.840
I said, Well, we do argue, so it's similar to

661
00:57:25.880 --> 00:57:33.119
be in her family, but I do pay rent. Well,

662
00:57:33.199 --> 00:57:35.199
it turns out she was wrong and I did get

663
00:57:35.239 --> 00:57:38.519
paid didn't get my rent paid, so that was good,

664
00:57:38.599 --> 00:57:41.039
and only for a few weeks. What was it, probably

665
00:57:43.039 --> 00:57:49.400
two months? Really only two months, And so if I

666
00:57:49.440 --> 00:57:55.800
hadn't being told you either go full time or you leave,

667
00:57:57.000 --> 00:58:02.559
then I would never have probably gone to university because

668
00:58:02.599 --> 00:58:08.880
I was fairly kind of happy being there doing part

669
00:58:08.920 --> 00:58:17.360
time and then volunteering doing a free pain relief service. No,

670
00:58:17.599 --> 00:58:19.199
I'd stop doing that at this point. So I was

671
00:58:19.239 --> 00:58:21.880
doing that in two thousand and six. I was doing

672
00:58:21.920 --> 00:58:25.400
that when I was full time, the free pay relief service,

673
00:58:26.480 --> 00:58:30.719
and I was doing on Saturdays. But then two thousand

674
00:58:30.719 --> 00:58:41.159
and seven I was doing the the Rehab drug Rehab

675
00:58:41.199 --> 00:58:46.239
and Alcoholic Charity. So I was doing relaxation group sessions.

676
00:58:46.599 --> 00:58:48.760
I think I was doing two a week each one,

677
00:58:51.280 --> 00:58:59.480
and not while I was part time. I think I

678
00:58:59.519 --> 00:59:02.199
was doing one a week at each one, and then

679
00:59:02.400 --> 00:59:03.280
when I went.

680
00:59:04.920 --> 00:59:15.360
Or was I I can't remember one two.

681
00:59:16.760 --> 00:59:20.320
Yeah, I think it was two a week, one a week,

682
00:59:20.599 --> 00:59:23.079
and then I went two a week for each one

683
00:59:24.280 --> 00:59:30.119
when I left my job. That was a shame. I'd again,

684
00:59:30.159 --> 00:59:35.400
I'd probably still be there doing that if it hadn't

685
00:59:35.440 --> 00:59:43.639
been for circumstances. It's a shame. It's weird. Isn't it.

686
00:59:43.679 --> 00:59:50.119
I know, you know, life, just life is. It can

687
00:59:50.159 --> 00:59:53.440
be a bit unusual at times all the time, but

688
00:59:54.880 --> 01:00:02.760
there's certain in some ways. For a short period of time,

689
01:00:05.360 --> 01:00:16.000
everything was kind of going pretty well, even leading up

690
01:00:16.079 --> 01:00:23.960
to starting university, because I had everything planned very eloquently.

691
01:00:26.480 --> 01:00:29.440
I'm not sure if it's eloquent, but I had everything planned.

692
01:00:30.559 --> 01:00:37.840
So I had a part time job in the supermarket

693
01:00:41.440 --> 01:00:45.400
to start and it was just going to be at weekends.

694
01:00:48.360 --> 01:00:55.800
I was starting university. Well, i'd already started university, but

695
01:00:55.920 --> 01:00:57.800
it was in a different town, but that was okay,

696
01:00:58.639 --> 01:01:05.159
it was doable. I was still living at the Buddhist

697
01:01:05.199 --> 01:01:11.199
place again. That was what I wanted, and it's fairly

698
01:01:11.239 --> 01:01:18.719
cheap to live there. I was still doing the voluntary work.

699
01:01:20.360 --> 01:01:24.360
I had to base it around university, but I was

700
01:01:24.360 --> 01:01:27.079
still managing to go twice a week, so I'll do

701
01:01:27.159 --> 01:01:34.000
at least one session per week at the two charities

702
01:01:34.280 --> 01:01:40.760
doing group relaxation sessions. I was still making my recordings

703
01:01:40.760 --> 01:01:51.079
and my videos, and I had a new girlfriend which

704
01:01:51.199 --> 01:01:54.599
came from me doing the voluntary work. She was in

705
01:01:54.679 --> 01:02:00.679
charge of the volunteers, volunteer coordinature or something. So everything

706
01:02:00.760 --> 01:02:07.719
was kind of going together quite nicely actually, and then,

707
01:02:10.559 --> 01:02:17.920
as sometimes happened, Hello for any Hello Hello, as sometimes occurs,

708
01:02:19.199 --> 01:02:26.360
things went a little bit awry. So I ended up

709
01:02:26.679 --> 01:02:29.960
moving to the town I was going to university, yet

710
01:02:32.880 --> 01:02:37.000
moving away from that job, so I didn't even get

711
01:02:37.039 --> 01:02:44.679
to start the job, and moving away from my friends.

712
01:02:46.639 --> 01:02:51.639
My girlfriend wasn't I moved away from her. She didn't

713
01:02:51.679 --> 01:02:57.920
take that greatly, and I wasn't able to do the

714
01:02:58.000 --> 01:03:06.320
volunteer work anymore. So the only thing I continued when

715
01:03:06.360 --> 01:03:14.280
I moved was doing recordings and videos and going to university.

716
01:03:15.480 --> 01:03:20.760
But the way it worked out, it did take a

717
01:03:20.800 --> 01:03:25.119
lot out of me doing their course, so I'm not

718
01:03:25.199 --> 01:03:34.360
sure if I'd have been able to maintain all the

719
01:03:34.400 --> 01:03:38.320
other things at the same time, you know, a part

720
01:03:38.400 --> 01:03:50.079
time job, a girlfriend, the volunteer jobs, volunteer work. Yeah,

721
01:03:52.360 --> 01:03:54.320
I don't know if I could have. I mean, it

722
01:03:54.400 --> 01:03:58.639
might have been much better. I don't know, but I

723
01:03:58.679 --> 01:04:06.239
don't know, no way of knowing. But that was with Sainsbury's.

724
01:04:06.400 --> 01:04:08.440
I tell it's weird. I actually got a part time

725
01:04:08.519 --> 01:04:23.039
job again in Sainsbury's in was it? Where was it? Yeah?

726
01:04:23.119 --> 01:04:25.639
When I moved here, I got a job, part time

727
01:04:25.719 --> 01:04:31.039
job at Sainsbury's and again I didn't go. I got

728
01:04:31.039 --> 01:04:35.880
the job, I just didn't go. I just couldn't face it.

729
01:04:35.880 --> 01:04:46.360
It's weird. I couldn't get out of bed. And then yeah,

730
01:04:46.400 --> 01:04:50.920
I think I kind of I think that particular, that

731
01:04:50.960 --> 01:04:54.440
particular ladder has been shortened. I don't think I can

732
01:04:54.480 --> 01:05:02.719
get onto the ladder anymore. For that company, I was

733
01:05:02.760 --> 01:05:18.280
going to be on the vegetable section. Hm. It was weird,

734
01:05:18.320 --> 01:05:20.360
well not weird, but the bloke that showed me around

735
01:05:20.360 --> 01:05:23.360
and he was going to be my supervisor. He was

736
01:05:23.440 --> 01:05:28.039
so enthusiastic about all the apples, the fruits and the

737
01:05:28.119 --> 01:05:36.599
vegetables and the cabbages and the beetroot, and really enthusiastic.

738
01:05:37.719 --> 01:05:46.440
He had a hat and everything. You're not really I

739
01:05:46.440 --> 01:05:50.239
can't really express to you how enthusiastic he was about

740
01:05:50.239 --> 01:05:54.000
that particular section. Now, it's quite a large section in

741
01:05:54.000 --> 01:05:58.199
the supermarket, isn't it, the whole vegetable, fruit and veg area.

742
01:05:59.000 --> 01:06:03.639
It's quite quite a big section of a large supermarket,

743
01:06:05.320 --> 01:06:09.079
so I'm guessing there'd be quite a few staff looking

744
01:06:09.119 --> 01:06:14.119
after that area. And he was I don't know if

745
01:06:14.119 --> 01:06:16.559
he was in charge overall in charge, or if he

746
01:06:16.679 --> 01:06:24.480
was I don't know, like a shift manager or something.

747
01:06:26.599 --> 01:06:30.320
Definitely loved his job, which was amazing. I always like

748
01:06:30.400 --> 01:06:33.760
that anyone. I've just got a thing about people enthusiastic

749
01:06:33.800 --> 01:06:38.719
about stuff, because I don't think I come across as

750
01:06:38.719 --> 01:06:43.039
being very enthusiastic. I hide it very well.

751
01:06:45.480 --> 01:06:46.519
I just like that.

752
01:06:46.599 --> 01:06:51.039
I don't Yeah, whatever it is, as long as it's

753
01:06:51.079 --> 01:06:55.119
not hurting anyone else, and for me personally, it's useful.

754
01:06:57.719 --> 01:07:00.639
Just just for me personally. I mean, other people can

755
01:07:00.719 --> 01:07:06.159
be enthusiastic about whatever they want, what's up to them.

756
01:07:06.480 --> 01:07:09.360
I only really want to be enthusiastic about Well, actually

757
01:07:09.400 --> 01:07:15.480
it's not true because I'm enthusiastic about Let's try to

758
01:07:15.480 --> 01:07:17.920
say the word a little bit slower so it comes

759
01:07:17.960 --> 01:07:28.960
out more concisely and clearly enthusiastic. I am enthusiastic about boxing,

760
01:07:29.000 --> 01:07:32.320
and that's not helping anyone. The only one that's helping

761
01:07:32.440 --> 01:07:40.559
is to people that are getting paid. So I'm you know,

762
01:07:40.800 --> 01:07:48.880
I love watching the big fights. My stomach's hungry again.

763
01:07:50.320 --> 01:08:02.920
It don't stop being hungry. It's nearly time to take

764
01:08:02.960 --> 01:08:06.800
the little monkey out for a little climbing the trees.

765
01:08:09.119 --> 01:08:15.559
Little monk care. So that's the end of this here

766
01:08:15.280 --> 01:08:21.319
a recording. It's not you know, it's not in line

767
01:08:21.399 --> 01:08:29.039
with the regular Monday Tuesday kind of schedule that I've

768
01:08:29.159 --> 01:08:35.319
been building up over the last few months or I

769
01:08:35.319 --> 01:08:40.199
don't know how long it's been. But I will get

770
01:08:40.239 --> 01:08:45.399
back to that. I promise. I really do promise it

771
01:08:45.600 --> 01:08:50.279
just it might take a little while. I will get

772
01:08:50.319 --> 01:08:53.079
back to it. There's a bit of a blip with

773
01:08:53.159 --> 01:09:00.359
the adverts as well, but that's sortid now thanks to

774
01:09:00.399 --> 01:09:03.520
someone let me know that. I thank you that there

775
01:09:03.600 --> 01:09:07.279
was adverts playing mid role on some of the podcasts.

776
01:09:07.840 --> 01:09:16.920
I shouldn't have been. So that's all been sorted out. Yeah,

777
01:09:17.079 --> 01:09:27.560
it should should be sorted out. Please please please severely

778
01:09:28.199 --> 01:09:29.760
mentally deficient.

779
01:09:31.399 --> 01:09:31.880
Wow.

780
01:09:34.199 --> 01:09:37.199
Yeah, I feel like I need to print that only

781
01:09:37.520 --> 01:09:41.000
I might put that as my my screen as the

782
01:09:41.039 --> 01:09:51.840
image for this recording. It's like, what wow. Anyway, I'm

783
01:09:51.840 --> 01:09:57.880
going to go. Thank you for listening. Please remember to

784
01:09:57.920 --> 01:10:01.439
be kind to yourself because you do deserve to be happy.

785
01:10:03.039 --> 01:10:09.920
Be gentle with yourself. You deserve to feel safe. Lots

786
01:10:09.920 --> 01:10:24.279
of love. Bye,