Sept. 5, 2025

(music) I’m Retired | LMBYTS #1428 | Jason Newland | 4th September 2025

(music) I’m Retired | LMBYTS #1428 | Jason Newland | 4th September 2025
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Hello, and welcome to let me buoy to sleep. My

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name is my name, and name and nim and him

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is Jesson Newland. Yeah, I hope you will. Just thought

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I would do it. It's time for bed. I mean,

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it's like eight minutes past ten pm in the evening,

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so please only listen when you can safely close your eyes.

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Vinny Viddy, what you staring at? I know what it

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is because I'm now at the desk rather than sitting down.

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It's easier to talk when I'm in a chair than

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when I'm kind of laying back. We're not laying back,

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but reclining. It's a little bit more easier on my

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throat or on my neck because I'm not kind of

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leaning forward. If that makes any kind of sense. It

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did to me when I said it, and then after

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I said it, I wasn't so sure. Oh so, I'm

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still working on getting stuff organized in my flat. The

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progression of me today is it's Thursday, the fourth of

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September two thy twenty five. So what do right. I've

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moved the bookcases into the storage room and I've filled

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them with my supplies for the future. So I've got

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washing up, liquid, soap, deodorant and washing clo you know,

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laundry tablets, Pooh bags for Vinnie face wipes, bum wipes. Well,

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I'm trying to think what else mm hmmm, toothpaste, mouth wash.

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I think that's most of the stuff. So I've been

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kind of trying to stock up for or at least

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the winter, because that's what I used to do years ago.

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I'm talking, you know, six seven years ago. Maybe six

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years ago, maybe seven years I don't know, but i

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was proper organized for a little while, and I'm trying

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to get back to that a little bit because I

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don't know. I just I just want to know that

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whatever happens, I've got enough tolllet role enough you know,

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basic stuff. I mean, I can't eat any of this stuff.

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But I've also got enough tea bags hopefully to last

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me till Christmas as well. But then I only have

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like four, one, two, three, four cups of tea a day.

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So each box has got at t bags in So

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that's what's that twenty days. I've got five boxes in

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a pack, so twenty times by five that's one hundred days.

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And I've got three packs or four three packs, so

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got three hundred days Wow, that's nearly a year in't it.

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BlimE me? Well, I have to drink more tea. I

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guess Viny's over there doing his thing. I well, thanks, Vinn.

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He's looking, he's searching. I don't know what he's searching for.

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He's searching for something. So, yeah, what I've done is

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now moved the two desks or the tables to the

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left side of the room because I've now got my

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TV on the wall and my sofa is the other

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side of the wall or the other side of the room.

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Brother or done possibly looking to get rid of that,

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replace it just with a chair and then but that's

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a future thing. So I've now got one table against

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the wall the opposite wall, and one table so it's

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facing the wall, the other one's facing the TV. There's

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like a gap where the chair so I can just

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kind of move around between each table. I had a

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similar design a few years back, which was the other

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side of the room. See me saying that that side

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of the room and to the left of the room

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and the other side of the room doesn't really mean much,

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does it if you don't know what the room looks like.

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But personally I would say it's definitely opened up the room.

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How many more times I can say the word room, room, womb.

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But I'm not finished yet, so i still got a

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lot more to do, and as far as the tidying

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up goes. So I've got still got some stuff in

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here which I can move, I'll be able to move out.

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And then yeah, there's a few little bits, got a

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lot of wires, a lot of wires. Would like to

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get that sorted. I'm not big fan of wires like

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straggling around, very messy, so I might look at try

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and get that little bit to get it taped up

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or something I don't know. And then yeah, what I've

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also done is I've got with it my website. I

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just don't need a website. However, with that my sound,

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I just don't need a website just if no. I mean,

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it's handy in some ways something that I prefer to

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use it than the podcasts, but most people use the

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podcast to listen rather than on the website, so it's

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helped me to keep my expenses down. So I've got

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rid of that. Looking at other things changes, I'm not

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pretty much come to the decision that I'm going to

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retire from making all podcasts except this one. Then let

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me boid sleep and I've a good little run nineteen years.

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But I think I'd like to focus on this, you know,

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try and do a regular daily let me boy to sleep. Perhaps,

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if I'm lucky, you know, in the coming future, perhaps

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I'd be able to actually do some things which would

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be worth talking about. Have something mildly interesting. I mean,

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I understand it's a boring podcast, but what's interesting to

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me might not be interesting to you. So I might

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be talking about what great time I had searching for

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you know, going through the field searching for worms, and

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you might find it completely tedious to listen to it

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and fall asleep. Now, I don't know, It's all it depends,

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doesn't it. And then I saw this Facebook page for

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It's a Chronic Pain and Condition, and there was someone

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was talking about why does he have to find the

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noisiest thing to crunch on when I'm doing a recording.

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It literally is the noisiest possible thing. Stuff God dead

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idea ub Yeah, mhm, I forget what I was saying now, Yeah,

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but you're nice to be able to go and do things.

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Oh yeah, I was. I was on Facebook and I

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saw this chronic Pain Facebook group. Just me. It makes

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me feel a bit nostalgic, because, by the way, if

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you think I'm mumbling what I got my fingers in

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my mouth? I should stop that, really shouldn't. I don't know?

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You tell me you can hear me? Now, can you

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understand me when I'm like this awful? Or is this better? Oh?

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All this? So what I do? I say? I do

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the same sentence. I say, it's Thursday, the fourth of September.

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So first of all, see it is any difference fall

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for foo? Now I'll do it without my things in

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my mouth. Ooo. I was about clearer about isn't it? So?

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What was the meaning? Why did I do that? I

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don't know. I really don't know. But I felt nostalgic

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because the only thing I was interested in twenty years

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ago was helping people with chronic pain. The only thing

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I mean, not literally, okay, not the only thing, but

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I mean, or one of the only things, the only

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thing as far as wanting to do it. No, okay,

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maybe not the only thing for that either, Yeah, Like

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as far as not career wise, because never going to

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be a career was it? This is just a it's

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a lifestyle I suppose rather than a career. But that's

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the thing that I was most interested in. So basically

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what I wanted to do is help people to relieve

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their suffering. That was it. But then as I kind

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of went along, I got to realize, well, I was told,

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it was explained to me in quite a few different versions,

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that there's lots of types of that. You know, it's

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an all physical and there's lots of things that actually

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finny oh so noisy he This is another reason, like

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if I ever tried to do like a really quiet

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hypnosis session, guaranteed he pulls out the big guns, it'd

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be sitting there like chipping away at some marble or something.

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It's like the one time he decides to make himself

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a sta at You why now? Why so? Yeah, hmm.

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The things that I realized quite early on in my

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journey of attempting to help people that were struggling with

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chronic pain issues, The first thing I realized, noticed experienced

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and with feedback as well, was that one of the

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biggest reducers of chronic pain is relaxing. But I also

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know I realized quite early on that you can't force

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yourself to relax. You can do relaxation techniques and exercises,

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of course, but as far as like forcing yourself, like

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you can't force yourself to fall in love or to

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be hungry, or to like a food you don't like.

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You can't force it has to kind of happen naturally.

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You can. You can lubricate the wheels, though, can't you

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when it comes to relaxation. So if you find something

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maybe like this that's relaxing, then that in itself helps

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to reduce or can help to reduce chronic pain. The

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thing is I called this let me boy you to sleep,

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and I can't. I wish I'd included chronic pain in

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a title because the whole process, because that's another thing.

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As soon as I started doing live sessions with people

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and group sessions and pain relief hypnosis sessions one on one,

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as the two things I noticed is one is sometimes

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it was just relaxing. By allowing themselves to relax, it

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would reduce the physical discomfort by quite a bit. And

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if you want to increase it, tighten up, tense up,

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you know, it's kind of that's the opposite way to

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do it. And it's natural for someone that's going through

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that to tense up because it's getting to them, isn't it.

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So by doing the complete opposite, or allowing the opposite

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to occur, which is relaxation, it then allows the opposite

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physical sensations to arise. As Vinnie continues to chip away

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and that massive piece of marble, and I'm wondering, what's

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it going to be this week. Last week it was

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just a big bit of marbled. It'd be chipped into

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proper miss But the week before that it was it

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was like a little boat made of would funny enough.

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I don't know how you managed that. The alchemist, the

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Jack Russell alchemist, I can tell marble, tell turn marble

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into balsa wood. Yeah, I don't know. And then another

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thing that people were telling me is oh, but they

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might not have said ooh, but it's like one thing

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we noticed is we're sleeping better, easier. And when I

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was doing the I'm this, I saw man he used

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to visit him in his house in two thousand and

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six in the summer, and he had arthritis, like really

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bad athritis in his legs and stuff. And the one

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thing he said is other than the fact that he

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felt so much better gradually over the weeks, but he

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also is sleeping more. He was sleeping more comfortable, so

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instead of his legs jittering and jumping about, which they did,

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they just calmed down, relaxed, and he could have some

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good sleep. So it got me thinking like, Okay, what

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benefits can be got for them helping people to relax

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deeply and to fall asleep. And as I moved forward

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with the relaxation sessions online again, I started off doing

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chronic pain relief, relaxation, and sleep sessions. That's the three

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things I focused on. Even though I'd started off I

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only wanted to do chronic pain relief. And then as

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that progressed, the most popular recordings, or the least popular recordings,

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were the chronic pain relief once not that they were unpopular,

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they just weren't as well received as the relaxation and

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the sleep And then it turned out that the sleep

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recordings were the most popular of anything I did. And

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for a while that was a little bit frustrating for

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me because that wasn't what I wanted to focus on.

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I wanted to be mister pain relief. That's what I

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wanted to do. I wanted to change the world. Maybe

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I was very young naive. Back then I was only

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forty six, and now I was thirty five, thirty faves,

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still not that young avert a thirty five years old.

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I was so full of ambition. Oh, just got to

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get out there, got to get just got to be heard,

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gotta be need people to know that I exist. And

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then everyone's going to want to listen. Who maybe maybe

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a tiny few people would. And every now and then

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I'd try and go back to the pain relief and

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people still wanted to listen to the sleep stuff. So

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it's kind of like, Okay, well, perhaps I should just

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do what what first, I'll do what people like. That

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kind of makes sense really, And then I started doing

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the these to let Me Boy to Sleep twenty eighteen,

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seven years ago, nearly eight years ago. Well, how was

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it February or March two thousand and eighteen? And I'm

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constantly doing this. I can't remember two thousand by the way,

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all my podcast is still on my spreaker whisper one

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one one one one one one one one one one

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one one. Okay, so I'm just trying to find the

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right I can't find it. One one to fifty, where's

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wonder fifty? Fifty one to one hundred, one to fifty. Wow,

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when I want to one fifty, that's not why I want.

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I want one to fifty. Where's wonder fifty. I'm looking

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at the scrangers in case you're wondering what I'm talking about.

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One to fifty doesn't seem to be on here. Old

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there is one to fifty total statistics for this one right.

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Five downloads in the last year from that podcast is

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because it's just specifically just for those those fifty recordings.

234
00:25:56.799 --> 00:26:02.400
That's another reason I kind of I'm not going to

235
00:26:02.440 --> 00:26:05.359
boggle the website because I did all these podcasts and

236
00:26:06.279 --> 00:26:10.519
into like playlists and stuff, but not really getting to

237
00:26:10.559 --> 00:26:15.640
listen at all. Twenty seventh of March twoenty eighteen was

238
00:26:15.720 --> 00:26:20.920
the very first let me boy to sleep. And I

239
00:26:21.000 --> 00:26:25.680
did one, two, three, four in a row. Then I

240
00:26:25.799 --> 00:26:29.240
did one, two, three, four, another four in a row,

241
00:26:29.960 --> 00:26:33.160
and then I did one, two, three, four, five, six,

242
00:26:33.400 --> 00:26:37.119
seven in a row. And I did one two in

243
00:26:37.240 --> 00:26:43.559
a row, then I did one, then I did Okay,

244
00:26:43.759 --> 00:26:48.359
that got boring. Six Wow. I did a six of

245
00:26:48.480 --> 00:26:50.400
me and then nothing to the twenty six of me.

246
00:26:51.759 --> 00:26:59.359
I wonder what happened on that year? No idea. So

247
00:27:04.039 --> 00:27:06.279
I did the let Me Boy to Sleep, started that

248
00:27:07.319 --> 00:27:19.960
twenty seventh March two thousand and air team, and yeah,

249
00:27:20.319 --> 00:27:22.680
it's become the most popular thing that I've ever done

250
00:27:25.319 --> 00:27:32.720
as far as like individual recordings, and and I'm now

251
00:27:33.079 --> 00:27:38.160
at number I can even tell you one thousand, four

252
00:27:38.279 --> 00:27:44.279
hundred and yesterday's recording was one thousand, four hundred and

253
00:27:44.400 --> 00:27:50.680
twenty seven. So yeah, I've got a few done, quite

254
00:27:50.680 --> 00:27:57.759
a few in it. Wow. Yeah. So I'm going to

255
00:27:57.920 --> 00:28:04.920
just continue with this that let Me Buoy to Sleep,

256
00:28:07.599 --> 00:28:10.359
and that's really the only podcast I'm going to be

257
00:28:10.720 --> 00:28:18.279
focusing on from now on. But at the same time,

258
00:28:19.960 --> 00:28:22.440
I don't quite know how I can get it across

259
00:28:22.599 --> 00:28:29.240
that Maybe people can find this useful. People that have

260
00:28:29.359 --> 00:28:36.640
got chronic pain, people that have got anxiety and stuff

261
00:28:36.680 --> 00:28:41.519
like that could find these podcasts useful because it's relaxing

262
00:28:41.680 --> 00:28:52.839
and it's peaceful. And you know what I've noticed, do

263
00:28:52.880 --> 00:28:58.880
you never ever get you know, certain phrases are starting

264
00:28:58.880 --> 00:29:01.680
to be used more and more, like in interviews on

265
00:29:01.799 --> 00:29:08.279
TV and on the internet and whatnot. Is the new one.

266
00:29:09.960 --> 00:29:11.720
It's not a new one. It's not a new thing.

267
00:29:11.799 --> 00:29:15.400
But for some reason I'm hearing people say it more

268
00:29:15.720 --> 00:29:21.759
often now whatnot. It's kind of the similar saying so

269
00:29:21.960 --> 00:29:28.839
on and so forth, blah blah blah blah, make us

270
00:29:29.039 --> 00:29:33.960
make a long story short whatnot. So it's kind of

271
00:29:34.079 --> 00:29:39.759
just it shortens the conversation or shortens the story. So, yeah,

272
00:29:39.759 --> 00:29:41.960
I was going to got some shopping. I've got some

273
00:29:43.039 --> 00:29:46.359
toilet paper and some tampons and some you know and whatnot.

274
00:29:47.079 --> 00:29:49.279
So you're not going through the whole list of things

275
00:29:49.359 --> 00:29:52.599
that you've got. You've just gone through the things that

276
00:29:52.680 --> 00:29:54.359
maybe you shouldn't have gone through. I don't know. It

277
00:29:54.440 --> 00:30:04.119
depends who you're talking to, depends upon who you're too

278
00:30:04.839 --> 00:30:12.519
talking to. I don't know what Vinnie is expecting to happen.

279
00:30:13.000 --> 00:30:22.319
He just sits there staring at his bumb generally, honestly,

280
00:30:22.559 --> 00:30:31.519
he's just staring at his bumb like it's I don't know,

281
00:30:31.599 --> 00:30:34.920
it's like some kind of secret doorway to Narnia or something,

282
00:30:39.519 --> 00:30:47.160
a little cupboard full of tiny coats, of smelly coats,

283
00:30:47.279 --> 00:30:53.119
so god, they'd all be looked like there's just people

284
00:30:53.160 --> 00:31:02.000
have been walking for a really muddy forest. Yeah, it

285
00:31:02.000 --> 00:31:04.599
wouldn't be like Nannia would with all the snow. You

286
00:31:04.720 --> 00:31:07.759
just get through. It's been muddy everywhere. It just be

287
00:31:08.160 --> 00:31:15.920
like a big swamp. Okay, let's move on. Were you

288
00:31:16.119 --> 00:31:22.880
staring at who are you staring at? Hey? I think

289
00:31:22.960 --> 00:31:27.839
he's a bit thrown off because I'm not sure if

290
00:31:27.880 --> 00:31:31.279
he's ever seen me sit here before. He probably has,

291
00:31:31.319 --> 00:31:34.440
because I've had him for quite a while now, But

292
00:31:34.640 --> 00:31:37.640
to sit over here and do this recording and to

293
00:31:37.720 --> 00:31:42.039
be talking but not to be talking to him, but

294
00:31:42.160 --> 00:31:44.200
I am talking to you, and I yeah, I am.

295
00:31:46.960 --> 00:31:49.559
He's kind of got me used to me sitting on

296
00:31:49.680 --> 00:31:52.880
the chair doing it on the sofa because then he

297
00:31:52.960 --> 00:31:59.759
can sort of cud up to me a bit. You'd

298
00:31:59.759 --> 00:32:04.000
be thrown off, aren't you. I think this is more

299
00:32:04.039 --> 00:32:07.440
comfortable doing it here. You you know, you think that

300
00:32:07.680 --> 00:32:11.359
sofa would be more comfortable. But it's not. Not not

301
00:32:11.559 --> 00:32:14.720
doing this stuff because first of all, I can't use

302
00:32:14.880 --> 00:32:17.720
the laptop. I can't use you know, stuff like that

303
00:32:18.759 --> 00:32:21.839
when I'm what I can because on my lap with

304
00:32:21.960 --> 00:32:32.480
a sneeze, wellhap's nice, what a lovely sneeze. I thought

305
00:32:32.559 --> 00:32:38.680
it might be exciting and it was. It's strange. What's

306
00:32:38.799 --> 00:32:53.240
Lloyd's banking up to? Lloyd's bank? Okay, I don't going

307
00:32:53.279 --> 00:32:58.640
to be any banks at all in the future. That

308
00:32:58.759 --> 00:33:02.279
was a nice bright thing to say, wasn't it. You know,

309
00:33:02.440 --> 00:33:07.279
in my town where I live, the bank that i'm

310
00:33:07.359 --> 00:33:18.880
with is this big, old listed building. It's huge, Honestly,

311
00:33:19.240 --> 00:33:25.559
it's just massive, and they don't get many customers because

312
00:33:25.599 --> 00:33:28.680
how many people go into a bank and anymore. You know,

313
00:33:29.000 --> 00:33:33.680
most things just done online, isn't it, and don't really well,

314
00:33:34.400 --> 00:33:38.759
I'm just talking generally. I haven't needed to go into

315
00:33:38.799 --> 00:33:42.799
a bank to put a check in or to draw

316
00:33:43.000 --> 00:33:51.799
money out for a long time, or to pay bills.

317
00:33:51.880 --> 00:33:54.200
It's something I used to do in the past, go

318
00:33:54.400 --> 00:33:59.000
in there to pay my bills, electric bill, gas bill,

319
00:34:00.160 --> 00:34:03.640
war to bill. I'd go into the Yeah, i'd go

320
00:34:03.759 --> 00:34:06.000
in there to pay that. I don't need to do

321
00:34:06.079 --> 00:34:16.079
that anymore. It's just automatic direct debit now, TV license,

322
00:34:16.199 --> 00:34:28.440
that's all done automatically. I don't even know if the

323
00:34:28.519 --> 00:34:34.440
bank's still there. I suppose it is. Yeah, I'm pretty

324
00:34:34.559 --> 00:34:42.960
sure ast this. I know it's got some hard steps

325
00:34:43.000 --> 00:34:46.239
because I fell over them once I felt up them.

326
00:34:47.679 --> 00:34:50.679
I was running to get my check from when I

327
00:34:50.760 --> 00:34:52.679
was a counselor, and I think it was like a

328
00:34:52.800 --> 00:34:57.039
thousand pounds and it was my month's check and I

329
00:34:57.199 --> 00:35:03.519
needed it cashed before Christmas, so I think Christmas was

330
00:35:03.599 --> 00:35:10.039
on the Wednesday or Thursday the next week, and I

331
00:35:10.239 --> 00:35:18.480
was This was the Friday afternoon, ten minutes before the

332
00:35:18.639 --> 00:35:24.800
bank closed. So I'm running and I'm only ran the corner,

333
00:35:26.000 --> 00:35:29.519
but I'm waiting for ages. I'm in the office that mind,

334
00:35:30.960 --> 00:35:32.840
and I get on really well with a man that

335
00:35:33.079 --> 00:35:39.400
was that did the checks, so I'm just chatting to him,

336
00:35:39.440 --> 00:35:46.800
and it's there's quite a lot to do. So mine

337
00:35:47.199 --> 00:35:53.000
took a while, and I'll getting more and more closer

338
00:35:53.079 --> 00:35:54.960
to the time than the end. He printed it off,

339
00:35:55.000 --> 00:35:59.760
and I ran, I ran, and I ran and I ran,

340
00:36:02.000 --> 00:36:08.599
and literally it was a ten minute walk, possibly less

341
00:36:08.679 --> 00:36:11.480
than a ten minute walk, possibly maybe a six minute walk,

342
00:36:11.840 --> 00:36:15.599
seven minute walk. But there's no guarantee that the door

343
00:36:15.599 --> 00:36:18.559
will stay open right to the end, because they might

344
00:36:18.639 --> 00:36:21.440
just start not lett anyone in after a certain point.

345
00:36:23.360 --> 00:36:27.079
That's why I ran. So I'm going down the alleyway

346
00:36:27.199 --> 00:36:35.639
towards the town, a turn left. I'm not sure if

347
00:36:35.719 --> 00:36:37.519
I'm able to cross. Well. I did cross the road

348
00:36:37.519 --> 00:36:42.000
obfously because I was. I wouldn't i've got there, I'd

349
00:36:42.039 --> 00:36:47.480
still be standing there without and this is a long

350
00:36:47.559 --> 00:36:59.280
time ago. This is two thousand and eleven, Yeah, two

351
00:36:59.440 --> 00:37:04.360
thousand or was it twenty twelve, No, it's two thy

352
00:37:04.480 --> 00:37:16.239
and eleven, because by twenty and twelve, yeah, December twenty twelve,

353
00:37:16.280 --> 00:37:24.599
I think I started doing the working in the insurance

354
00:37:24.679 --> 00:37:29.239
company and having a Monday off every week to be

355
00:37:29.760 --> 00:37:36.440
to continue counseling. So yeah, and I did that till

356
00:37:38.159 --> 00:37:47.840
the following year, I think April two thir oh, I

357
00:37:48.039 --> 00:37:55.519
can't remember the dates, but so anyway, I ran. I

358
00:37:55.559 --> 00:38:01.320
think it was two thousand and eleven, and I suppose no,

359
00:38:01.440 --> 00:38:08.239
twenty twelve, No, twoy eleven. Does it really matter? Not really,

360
00:38:09.519 --> 00:38:13.360
So twoy eleven and I'll get the check. And I'm

361
00:38:13.480 --> 00:38:20.800
running and it's cold, a little bit slippery. It's December,

362
00:38:23.639 --> 00:38:26.639
and my body's not really been It wasn't really built

363
00:38:26.679 --> 00:38:30.559
for running, especially not the last twenty or thirty years.

364
00:38:35.880 --> 00:38:39.760
I think, you know, in a sense of if I

365
00:38:39.960 --> 00:38:45.559
have a running accident, I've only got myself to blame.

366
00:38:46.800 --> 00:38:49.280
It seems to be the attitude of the medical experts.

367
00:38:50.199 --> 00:38:52.159
So why are you trying to run? Have you're not

368
00:38:52.320 --> 00:38:56.559
seen yourself? Do you not own a mirror? Or some scales.

369
00:38:57.480 --> 00:39:05.079
It's like a bit rude, a little bit rude. And anyway,

370
00:39:05.119 --> 00:39:10.639
so I'm running and there's two crossings, one crossing well

371
00:39:11.639 --> 00:39:17.079
then the next one, but the next one is crossing

372
00:39:17.280 --> 00:39:22.599
the main high road. And as a crossover there I

373
00:39:22.679 --> 00:39:28.239
think there's traffic lights, I think on both sides and

374
00:39:29.239 --> 00:39:34.760
both roads. And then I crossover there's a new news

375
00:39:34.840 --> 00:39:39.800
agent's nude newd agents news agents on the left, and

376
00:39:39.880 --> 00:39:44.480
then there was a subway SAMD Witch place on the left,

377
00:39:46.360 --> 00:39:49.280
and then I think there's some chicken shop on the left,

378
00:39:50.480 --> 00:39:54.920
and then the next thing on the left is the

379
00:39:55.119 --> 00:40:00.159
bank or was the bank? I mean those shops not

380
00:40:00.280 --> 00:40:06.960
be there either. Some I'm running. I'm not running hard.

381
00:40:10.320 --> 00:40:14.760
I've never run hard, maybe when I was a kid,

382
00:40:14.880 --> 00:40:20.280
but not for a long time. And I want to

383
00:40:20.320 --> 00:40:27.239
get in there before they stand inside the door stopping

384
00:40:27.280 --> 00:40:30.320
anyone else from coming in and just letting people out

385
00:40:30.519 --> 00:40:34.079
because I know they start doing it, you know, closer

386
00:40:34.159 --> 00:40:39.800
to closing time, because I suppose they've got places to be,

387
00:40:39.960 --> 00:40:46.199
haven't they. Yeah, I guess people that work in a bank,

388
00:40:46.320 --> 00:40:50.920
they've got home lives and stuff. They don't just go

389
00:40:51.079 --> 00:40:58.280
to sleep beyond encounter today I guess, or you keep

390
00:40:58.360 --> 00:41:02.159
together bunk bed in the back room. I don't know.

391
00:41:07.480 --> 00:41:13.800
Playing Conquers, you know, in Concuer season, which would be

392
00:41:13.960 --> 00:41:19.800
soon actually usually about October time, I think September October

393
00:41:19.840 --> 00:41:23.039
when the Concers fall off the tree. And I never

394
00:41:23.199 --> 00:41:29.079
liked Concuers though. I think it's banned in schools now

395
00:41:29.119 --> 00:41:33.280
because it's dangerous. They think it's dangerous. Well, it is dangerous.

396
00:41:34.000 --> 00:41:35.920
That's why I didn't like it, because I stand up

397
00:41:35.960 --> 00:41:45.920
with sore fingers and I did not appreciate that. Yeah,

398
00:41:46.239 --> 00:41:52.079
I'm glad that band, But unfortunately the news of them

399
00:41:52.599 --> 00:41:56.960
Conquers being banned does not reach the trees themselves because

400
00:41:57.000 --> 00:42:06.199
they're still producing them. Oh yes, I get to the bank,

401
00:42:07.480 --> 00:42:12.079
turn left, about to run up the stairs, and I

402
00:42:12.360 --> 00:42:19.280
slip my trip really on the stairs on the concrete steps,

403
00:42:19.920 --> 00:42:23.519
and it's like one, two, three, four, five six. There's

404
00:42:23.599 --> 00:42:28.599
three steps, then you know, like a one big step

405
00:42:28.719 --> 00:42:32.360
that's flat, and then there's another three. I think, so

406
00:42:32.679 --> 00:42:36.599
I trip over on the first three steps and I

407
00:42:36.960 --> 00:42:42.320
smashed my foot. I think it was my right foot.

408
00:42:43.000 --> 00:42:46.400
Game it's quite a while ago, so I break something

409
00:42:46.480 --> 00:42:48.480
in my right foot. I don't quite know it's just

410
00:42:49.199 --> 00:43:01.280
it's broken foot, and oh man, I was just like,

411
00:43:02.199 --> 00:43:05.320
I didn't know what to do because it hurts so much,

412
00:43:07.119 --> 00:43:13.280
but I needed to get into that bank, so I

413
00:43:13.480 --> 00:43:18.840
just sort of made my way in thankfully. I mean,

414
00:43:19.519 --> 00:43:21.559
I don't know. They might I might have been able

415
00:43:21.639 --> 00:43:25.480
to soothe them with something I've been I don't know.

416
00:43:26.480 --> 00:43:31.719
I mean it was my fault on one running and

417
00:43:31.840 --> 00:43:34.599
they put the steps there, but I knew there were

418
00:43:34.639 --> 00:43:41.400
steps there. Running around in freezing cold temperatures probably not

419
00:43:41.440 --> 00:43:46.840
a good idea. But anyway, they let me in or

420
00:43:46.920 --> 00:43:49.239
someone opened the door. I don't know if the door

421
00:43:49.320 --> 00:43:53.079
was locked, but she opened the door for me. I

422
00:43:53.199 --> 00:43:56.000
think she might have even asked to you're okay once

423
00:43:56.039 --> 00:44:03.599
she stopped laughing, and I managed to put my check in.

424
00:44:04.639 --> 00:44:08.519
It's like one thousand and four pounds or something, which

425
00:44:08.760 --> 00:44:12.880
was so needed because otherwise I was going to have

426
00:44:13.000 --> 00:44:17.480
Christmas with no money. I needed to buy Christmas presents

427
00:44:17.559 --> 00:44:21.800
and stuff like that. Ah, so it is lovely. I

428
00:44:21.960 --> 00:44:24.320
managed to do that, and it all kind of worked

429
00:44:24.360 --> 00:44:30.800
out okay, except I had a broken foot, and I

430
00:44:30.920 --> 00:44:38.920
remember going to the I got to the walk ironic

431
00:44:39.079 --> 00:44:46.719
name the Walking Center, which is probably about a mile.

432
00:44:47.079 --> 00:44:49.800
I don't know. It's on the same ground as Osbal,

433
00:44:49.880 --> 00:44:53.559
but it's a long walk to the hospital. So I

434
00:44:53.679 --> 00:44:57.000
get bus there. Do I get a bus or did

435
00:44:57.039 --> 00:45:04.079
I walk? I might have walked, but I might have

436
00:45:04.119 --> 00:45:09.800
got a bus. I don't remember. My memory is not

437
00:45:09.920 --> 00:45:14.079
great as if for this story, I either got a

438
00:45:14.159 --> 00:45:21.280
bus or I walked. One of them and I go

439
00:45:21.440 --> 00:45:27.000
into the walking center and I said, what what do

440
00:45:27.039 --> 00:45:30.840
you want? What do you want? I said, I've hurt

441
00:45:30.920 --> 00:45:38.800
my foot. Okay. I really didn't seem that interested. Maybe

442
00:45:38.880 --> 00:45:41.920
it's because it was because this is on a Monday.

443
00:45:43.599 --> 00:45:47.719
I waited the weekend, thinking, oh, we would wear it off,

444
00:45:47.800 --> 00:45:49.639
but it didn't. So I went in on the Monday

445
00:45:50.360 --> 00:45:54.280
to the hospital. Well that might be in a Saturday.

446
00:45:54.280 --> 00:45:56.679
I might have did it the next day because it

447
00:45:56.800 --> 00:46:01.800
was very painful. And they said what is it. I said, well,

448
00:46:04.760 --> 00:46:10.280
I just hurt my foot. They said they said yeah,

449
00:46:10.400 --> 00:46:16.199
So I said, okay, well you know just what I've

450
00:46:16.199 --> 00:46:18.800
come here. They said, what do you want us to

451
00:46:18.840 --> 00:46:24.280
do about it? I'm not sure if I was I'd walked.

452
00:46:24.360 --> 00:46:28.400
I thought I might have walked into the canteen by accident,

453
00:46:28.519 --> 00:46:31.559
and it was just the canteen stuff, wondering why I

454
00:46:31.679 --> 00:46:34.960
was talking about my foot, you know, why? Why is

455
00:46:35.000 --> 00:46:40.159
it just not ordering food? So I don't know. And

456
00:46:40.280 --> 00:46:43.119
then they said, well, let's have a look at your foot.

457
00:46:43.239 --> 00:46:46.079
So he said, take your sock off. I said, I

458
00:46:46.599 --> 00:46:50.760
can't take my sock off. He said, well, you need

459
00:46:50.800 --> 00:46:53.119
to say your sock off otherwise I can't see your foot.

460
00:46:54.239 --> 00:46:57.039
I said, I haven't got a sock on. He said

461
00:46:57.039 --> 00:47:01.599
what he said, I can't get a song. I can't

462
00:47:01.880 --> 00:47:05.280
get a sock over my foot because it's too painful.

463
00:47:05.920 --> 00:47:10.960
Plus it's swollen up. So I slipped my shoe off

464
00:47:11.000 --> 00:47:15.559
because I've had slip ons for years because I'm very old.

465
00:47:17.719 --> 00:47:21.920
And my foot was pretty much a lot of it

466
00:47:22.079 --> 00:47:29.400
was black, like it was just really red and purple

467
00:47:29.559 --> 00:47:35.280
and all kinds of different weird colors. It's very it's injured.

468
00:47:37.639 --> 00:47:45.920
And he said, oh, that's okay. And does that mean

469
00:47:47.800 --> 00:47:50.039
is that kind of a medical response or you just

470
00:47:50.119 --> 00:47:54.360
didn't impression of a ghost. We both rolled around tickling

471
00:47:54.440 --> 00:48:00.480
each other. No, that didn't happen. So it's said, well, look,

472
00:48:00.519 --> 00:48:04.880
I haven't got an X ray machine. But he said,

473
00:48:05.719 --> 00:48:09.039
it looks like you've damaged your foot. I said, I

474
00:48:09.199 --> 00:48:11.280
know that one. I know, and I know I've damaged

475
00:48:11.320 --> 00:48:17.360
my foot. And he said, well, there's nothing he can

476
00:48:17.440 --> 00:48:21.079
do for you. It's you know, you can go to

477
00:48:21.159 --> 00:48:23.960
the walk up to the hospital, but it's going to

478
00:48:24.039 --> 00:48:26.519
be you'll be waiting there for hours and hours and

479
00:48:26.639 --> 00:48:30.559
hours and they'll X ray it probably and then tell

480
00:48:30.599 --> 00:48:33.239
you that you've got some broken bones and that's it.

481
00:48:35.280 --> 00:48:39.159
Just try and keep off it. You know, if it

482
00:48:39.239 --> 00:48:41.239
was if it was your ankle, then they put you

483
00:48:41.360 --> 00:48:44.280
in plaster. If it was your heel, they'd probably possibly

484
00:48:44.320 --> 00:48:46.639
put you in plaster. But it's not. It's just the

485
00:48:46.679 --> 00:48:49.519
top of your foot. Don't put you in plaster for that.

486
00:48:51.199 --> 00:48:57.400
That's what they said to me. And I said all

487
00:48:57.480 --> 00:48:59.960
right then. So they said we'd just walk up there,

488
00:49:00.079 --> 00:49:02.719
you know where the hospital is. I said, yeah, so

489
00:49:02.880 --> 00:49:09.679
long walk. He said yeah, probably longer for you, more painful.

490
00:49:09.719 --> 00:49:14.800
It's like wow, And he said, before you go kind

491
00:49:14.840 --> 00:49:17.039
of just can you just give me a foot for

492
00:49:17.079 --> 00:49:19.440
a second. I said, do this. He pressed on it.

493
00:49:19.519 --> 00:49:21.440
He said, does it hurt when I do this? I

494
00:49:21.519 --> 00:49:25.960
said yeah. He said I thought it would, and then

495
00:49:25.960 --> 00:49:35.880
he just walked away. Weird. So I'm walking trying to

496
00:49:35.960 --> 00:49:38.639
walk up to the hospital. But I can't. I can't

497
00:49:38.679 --> 00:49:45.840
make it. I literally can't make the journey, so I

498
00:49:46.039 --> 00:49:48.000
have to I think I have to kind of head

499
00:49:48.079 --> 00:49:59.639
back and get a bus back, and I don't think. Yeah,

500
00:49:59.639 --> 00:50:02.519
I didn't see any clients that week because the next

501
00:50:02.559 --> 00:50:05.880
week because it was Christmas week, although I might have done,

502
00:50:05.960 --> 00:50:15.000
I can't remember. And when I visited my dad because

503
00:50:15.000 --> 00:50:20.920
I was still hobbling about, I had to ask for

504
00:50:21.039 --> 00:50:27.519
a lift because I got a train station and from

505
00:50:27.559 --> 00:50:37.079
where I lived at the time, so from where I lived.

506
00:50:41.400 --> 00:50:43.880
This is really strange. I've got this memory. Yeah, it

507
00:50:43.960 --> 00:50:47.280
must have been there, So I don't know if I

508
00:50:50.440 --> 00:50:55.039
I might got taxi to the train station or maybe

509
00:50:57.559 --> 00:51:00.320
actually it was only a short walk to get to

510
00:51:00.440 --> 00:51:02.360
get a bus, so I probably got a bus to

511
00:51:02.480 --> 00:51:07.119
the to the train station. And then once I got

512
00:51:07.199 --> 00:51:10.400
to the train station where my dad lives, I had

513
00:51:10.440 --> 00:51:13.719
to ask him to give me a left because I

514
00:51:13.800 --> 00:51:17.079
just couldn't couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't do the walking,

515
00:51:17.320 --> 00:51:21.559
just couldn't. I was walking on my heel because that

516
00:51:21.719 --> 00:51:25.920
was the only part that didn't hurt until I after

517
00:51:26.000 --> 00:51:27.679
walking on my hill for a few weeks, and that

518
00:51:28.000 --> 00:51:34.719
as well, the rest was fine though very strange though,

519
00:51:35.039 --> 00:51:39.800
like I think I might hurt my arm on the stairs.

520
00:51:39.840 --> 00:51:48.000
But wow, that was that was proper ouch was thatch

521
00:51:48.480 --> 00:51:58.760
ouch moment. That was Why am I telling you that story?

522
00:51:59.000 --> 00:52:02.320
I got no idea. It's weird though, because I start

523
00:52:02.400 --> 00:52:09.400
remembering the subway. There was a period of time, probably

524
00:52:09.760 --> 00:52:19.280
two thousand and eight, two thousand and nine, maybe two

525
00:52:19.599 --> 00:52:28.800
thousand and ten, where I used to come into town

526
00:52:29.039 --> 00:52:34.119
to go to the Buddha Center. And what I would

527
00:52:34.199 --> 00:52:38.880
do is I would go to subway. Not every time,

528
00:52:39.480 --> 00:52:41.960
but I might go to subway to get something to eat,

529
00:52:42.280 --> 00:52:51.119
so nice cheese salad. Half of is it half a

530
00:52:51.320 --> 00:53:01.760
foot roll or whatever? It is? Half a foot I

531
00:53:01.880 --> 00:53:06.199
don't know, yeah, one two, yeah, because they're quite like, yeah,

532
00:53:06.320 --> 00:53:11.960
half of foot. And the lady in there, we used

533
00:53:11.960 --> 00:53:14.679
to really chat to each other. We've got on really well.

534
00:53:18.400 --> 00:53:21.840
I haven't seen her for years, I mean literally what

535
00:53:22.599 --> 00:53:27.320
fifteen years, but we've got really well. I think she's married,

536
00:53:27.559 --> 00:53:30.079
she might have had kids, but she was the manager

537
00:53:30.159 --> 00:53:34.079
of the subway and we just got really just naturally

538
00:53:34.159 --> 00:53:38.840
got on really well. And I think she was like

539
00:53:38.960 --> 00:53:47.840
from Mauritius or somewhere like that I don't know. Oh

540
00:53:47.960 --> 00:53:56.639
was she and I think she'd been a student. Maybe

541
00:53:56.719 --> 00:53:59.679
she was a student and the manager of that place

542
00:53:59.679 --> 00:54:02.840
at the same time. I'm not one hundred percent sure,

543
00:54:05.239 --> 00:54:11.800
but I'm pretty sure unless she was like a no,

544
00:54:16.079 --> 00:54:19.679
because I don't know, the Subway do the same thing

545
00:54:19.719 --> 00:54:24.159
as McDonald's, like franchises and stuff. Maybe she was a

546
00:54:24.199 --> 00:54:31.280
franchise holder. The thing is, even though it's in town,

547
00:54:31.639 --> 00:54:38.599
it wasn't particularly well placed. I suppose it is at night,

548
00:54:38.880 --> 00:54:42.360
you know, when the pubs and stuff and Friday night

549
00:54:42.559 --> 00:54:48.280
and Saturday night and stuff like that. It just seemed

550
00:54:48.599 --> 00:54:51.599
even because the town's not busy the way it used

551
00:54:51.639 --> 00:54:58.440
to be, even back then it wasn't apart from Christmas time,

552
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:02.960
it's not busy the way it used to be. Like

553
00:55:03.159 --> 00:55:10.159
it was quite noticeable. Plus the town isn't I mean here,

554
00:55:10.239 --> 00:55:12.559
it's not very good town. I don't mean that in

555
00:55:12.599 --> 00:55:16.800
a horrible way. It's just a bit rubbish. It's just

556
00:55:17.400 --> 00:55:27.280
it's very it's very samy to anywhere else. Same kind

557
00:55:27.360 --> 00:55:32.280
of shops, you know, w a Smith and subway and

558
00:55:33.079 --> 00:55:42.679
McDonald's and Burger King and the co Op and there's

559
00:55:42.719 --> 00:55:48.880
a wimpy and just is kind of the same, a

560
00:55:48.960 --> 00:55:55.039
lot of charity shops as well a half foundation, Bernardo's scope.

561
00:55:59.760 --> 00:56:06.119
It's kind of there's two bookshops Waterstone of course, that's

562
00:56:06.199 --> 00:56:15.480
the probably the most popular one around the country. Yeah, Weatherspoons.

563
00:56:16.519 --> 00:56:27.039
It's very samey to where you get anywhere else. It's

564
00:56:27.039 --> 00:56:30.519
all right. I don't mind. I don't go out. I

565
00:56:30.559 --> 00:56:34.400
haven't been out for years. I have left my home

566
00:56:35.480 --> 00:56:37.960
and I've never ever left the flat. I have, but

567
00:56:43.719 --> 00:56:51.320
in a social context like actually going out and having

568
00:56:51.360 --> 00:56:55.559
a drink, or going into a pub or a bar,

569
00:56:58.800 --> 00:57:04.079
or out for a meal or socially, I mean you

570
00:57:04.159 --> 00:57:08.000
could say, yeah, well I went had breakfast last Thursday

571
00:57:11.880 --> 00:57:20.920
for uncle after uncle sausages farewell ceremony. But I didn't

572
00:57:20.960 --> 00:57:25.400
really feel that that was particularly a social moment, you know.

573
00:57:25.559 --> 00:57:29.519
It wasn't didn't feel like a wasn't a happy event.

574
00:57:34.039 --> 00:57:39.320
And the time before that was Christmas when I saw

575
00:57:39.480 --> 00:57:44.800
my dad, little brother and my dad's wife and we

576
00:57:44.920 --> 00:57:48.800
met in a pub for Christmas dinner. So that that

577
00:57:49.079 --> 00:57:55.199
was social, but as family it's not. It wasn't social

578
00:57:55.360 --> 00:58:05.719
as in I don't know, it's it's different. It wasn't

579
00:58:05.760 --> 00:58:10.360
like friends meeting up with friends or seeing new people

580
00:58:10.480 --> 00:58:13.480
or anything like that. It was very well. I did

581
00:58:13.599 --> 00:58:19.719
see new people. Everyone's new. Now wherever I go, people

582
00:58:19.760 --> 00:58:28.280
are knu becaus. When's the last time I went into

583
00:58:28.360 --> 00:58:40.760
a pub? The last time like, okay, not ever, but

584
00:58:40.960 --> 00:58:45.760
the last time really that I regularly went anywhere was

585
00:58:50.679 --> 00:59:01.000
twenty ten fifteen years. Used to go into pubs with

586
00:59:01.320 --> 00:59:04.360
people from college, go out at meals and stuff like

587
00:59:04.480 --> 00:59:12.679
that during that three years of being university. I did

588
00:59:12.920 --> 00:59:17.199
date someone in two thousand and eleven, near the end

589
00:59:17.199 --> 00:59:24.719
of twenty eleven and begin two thousand and twelve, so

590
00:59:25.039 --> 00:59:28.559
I did go out and have meals and stuff with her.

591
00:59:36.239 --> 00:59:45.400
I did go to the Indian restaurant. I'm sure I've

592
00:59:45.480 --> 00:59:48.760
been there more than once. There's a local Indian restaurant

593
00:59:48.840 --> 00:59:53.239
that I went to in two thousand and fifteen, that

594
00:59:54.079 --> 01:00:04.360
end of the year twenty fifteen, but I don't remember. Sure.

595
01:00:04.440 --> 01:00:09.840
I'm ah I got a memory of going there more

596
01:00:09.880 --> 01:00:13.000
than once, but maybe I didn't. Maybe it was just

597
01:00:13.079 --> 01:00:19.559
a one off, but I got this kind of memory

598
01:00:19.639 --> 01:00:25.519
of doing something more than once. I'm not saying anything

599
01:00:25.719 --> 01:00:31.320
just this particular place, mind you. In the past, I

600
01:00:31.440 --> 01:00:34.760
have actually sat down at a table just waiting for

601
01:00:34.920 --> 01:00:38.519
the food to be ready because it's cold outside. So

602
01:00:38.719 --> 01:00:41.880
maybe that's what I'm getting muddled up with. In fact,

603
01:00:41.920 --> 01:00:43.519
I think I once, say, even had a drink in

604
01:00:43.599 --> 01:00:47.639
there because there was a big, long queue, you know,

605
01:00:47.800 --> 01:00:57.679
big Soday's. Gave me a drink while I waited, pilot

606
01:00:57.760 --> 01:01:15.599
curry sauce, I know, No, I haven't. Wow, I can't

607
01:01:15.679 --> 01:01:18.480
remember other than that little one, you know, sort of

608
01:01:18.559 --> 01:01:23.199
Christmas with my dad and my brother. I do not remember.

609
01:01:25.599 --> 01:01:28.400
Oh no, I went to the pub with Luke. But

610
01:01:28.519 --> 01:01:31.960
we had a pub opposite, well, across the road. It

611
01:01:32.079 --> 01:01:34.440
was there for a while. It was there for years

612
01:01:34.480 --> 01:01:37.599
and years when it closed, then opened again, and then

613
01:01:37.639 --> 01:01:41.320
it closed again. So we went there and sat outside

614
01:01:41.400 --> 01:01:45.360
with a meal and stuff. So that was okay. But

615
01:01:45.519 --> 01:01:47.880
that was a long time ago, you know, we're talking

616
01:01:49.800 --> 01:02:02.360
probably two thy sixteen time. Probably. No, I can't remember

617
01:02:02.480 --> 01:02:14.480
any any other time. Wow, Where does all the time go?

618
01:02:21.000 --> 01:02:22.719
I'm trying to remember the last time I went to

619
01:02:22.800 --> 01:02:28.000
the cinema, because I have been to the cinema since

620
01:02:28.000 --> 01:02:34.880
I moved here. I'm pretty sure, and i'd love well,

621
01:02:35.159 --> 01:02:38.079
my love, But if I could find a way to

622
01:02:38.159 --> 01:02:46.599
get back to doing stuff, some stuff, I think that

623
01:02:46.639 --> 01:03:08.119
would be good for me. Just mm hmm. Yeah, it's

624
01:03:08.199 --> 01:03:11.599
been a nice day today. It was raining, so it

625
01:03:11.719 --> 01:03:14.440
wasn't so nice, but when it wasn't raining, it was lovely,

626
01:03:15.800 --> 01:03:24.119
very bright. Started off really windy like yesterday was very windy,

627
01:03:24.960 --> 01:03:27.880
and then kind of calmed down. The wind seemed to

628
01:03:28.159 --> 01:03:32.760
just blow itself out, and now it's pretty chilled. It's

629
01:03:32.840 --> 01:03:38.199
dark outside now, but it's eleven minutes past eleven eleven

630
01:03:38.280 --> 01:03:47.719
eleven or twenty three eleven. So that's pretty much me

631
01:03:49.719 --> 01:04:02.480
done for the day, So thank you for listening. I

632
01:04:02.559 --> 01:04:05.679
will be doing a Q and A Friday tomorrow. I've

633
01:04:05.760 --> 01:04:08.119
only got a couple of questions to answer, so if

634
01:04:08.159 --> 01:04:12.000
you do any questions, bear in mind this won't be

635
01:04:12.119 --> 01:04:16.960
released till the morning because I'm going to be going

636
01:04:17.159 --> 01:04:32.519
to bed quite soon. Yeah, what's this right? The website

637
01:04:34.159 --> 01:04:41.000
as soon as I make a change, So, oh, the

638
01:04:41.079 --> 01:04:47.320
website's gone, I'm afraid, but I'm looking at other alternatives.

639
01:04:53.079 --> 01:04:57.880
Any questions four? Oh, I've got I've got four questions?

640
01:05:00.440 --> 01:05:11.719
Are they one? Old? Blimey? Right? So yeah, that's the

641
01:05:11.840 --> 01:05:17.480
questions for tomorrow. If you've got any questions, normally do

642
01:05:17.679 --> 01:05:21.760
the Q and A Friday kind of afternoon time, but

643
01:05:21.880 --> 01:05:24.360
it might be in the evening, not this late, but

644
01:05:27.039 --> 01:05:30.760
m M, I like to be in bed by ten

645
01:05:30.800 --> 01:05:38.639
o'clock in the evening. Now. Now, I'm an old fuddy duddy,

646
01:05:41.840 --> 01:05:44.719
so yeah, thank you for listening. Remember to be kind

647
01:05:44.760 --> 01:05:48.360
to yourself because you do, you do, you do. You

648
01:05:48.519 --> 01:05:56.840
do deserve to be happy, you do. Remember to be

649
01:05:57.119 --> 01:06:02.360
gentle with yourself because you deserve to feel safe. Lots

650
01:06:02.400 --> 01:06:05.679
of love, Bye,