Aug. 23, 2025

(music) Good Morning | LMBYTS #1420 | Jason Newland | 23rd August 2025

(music) Good Morning | LMBYTS #1420 | Jason Newland | 23rd August 2025
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Hello, and welcome to Jasonnewland dot com. My name's Jason

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Newland and this is let me bore you to sleep.

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Please only listen where you can faifly closurize. They their

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thefy So today I don't know what that was about. Sorry.

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Today is Saturday, the twenty third, I think twenty third,

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twenty third eighteen nineteen twenty third, twenty four. Fived. I

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can work it out by doing something else on My

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birthday is on Tuesday, and that's the twenty six. It's Saturday,

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twenty third, twenty fourth, twenty fifth, twenty six year. So

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happy birthday to me, birthday to me. So yeah, yeah,

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it's my birthday Tuesday. I'm sure reminding everyone. I don't

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know why, you know, I shouldn't really keep mentioning it

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because I'm I'm scared of the flood of cards and gifts.

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I'm going to get, oh overwhelming all in cards. I

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won't be able to get out of my front door.

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There'd be so many cards the whole of the my

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whole street will be blocked off with all those cards.

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I think these days I get about three cards cards,

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two cards max for my birthday. These days, maybe three.

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I always get one from my dad. Usually get one

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from me brother and usually I mean yeah, sometimes I don't,

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but generally I get one from him, and that's it. Yeah,

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that's the only guarantees. Sometimes I get one from we

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have a brother and we have a sister, but I

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always get one from me. That's the only guaranteed card

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I get for my birthday. Mm hmmm mmm, rare.

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Proper.

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Yeah, what did I dream about last night? It's really weird?

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Cool it last night because it was just now really,

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because I've only just got out of bed. It's what's

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the time, it's one minute past seven. I've been up

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about eighteen minutes, i'd say the most, probably about fifteen

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sixteen minutes, long enough to do a whiz and take

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me tablet. And that was it. And then I got

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up and read through an email I got from Cleo, Cleo, Chloe, Cleo.

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And here I am sitting on my sofa talking again

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out very little. It's very overcast today, very overcast. It's weird.

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Yesterday was a weird one. The heating came on. It

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was chilly in here inside, it was cold inside outside,

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absolutely fine, weird. It shouldn't be colder inside. I know,

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it's just it. Maybe it's because of the shelter. When

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I was outside there was some sun, although it was

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mainly cloudy, so there wasn't really a lot of sun.

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But here there's a massive tree that kind of blocks

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most of the sun and the light from getting in.

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So maybe that's what is. But and it feels quite.

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It feels very cool in here now. Yeah, it's weird.

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This is strange. It can be warmer outside than inside.

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But there's no sound inside, is there? No? But what

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did I dream about during the night? What did what

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did I? What did I? What did I? I can't remember?

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Let me just think, Yeah, it's I can't tell you

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all my dreams because some of them are just too

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weird and occasionally erotic, and I'm not going to talk

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about them. Okay, Well what happened was this? I'll tell

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you then if you want. I met a lady in

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my dreams. She let me hold her hand, and yeah,

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that was it, and I was done for and it

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was I couldn't control myself and I had to apologize.

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She said, why you apologize? And I said, because I'm

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not going to be any use. If you want to

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take me home and make passionate love. And she said,

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why did you think I wanted to take you home

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and make passionate love. I said, oh no, I messed

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up another relationship and she said, this isn't a relationship.

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I said, but you hold him my hand. She said,

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I'm a paramedic. I'm helping you up before you fell over.

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Oh oh oh, Where I go with that one? None

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of that happened. No, what did I dream? Did I dream?

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What did A dream? I didn't dream about those places

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that I lived, because I've got this whole little dream

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world where it's weird because I'm living in one place,

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but I had my own place, which is a council place.

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But I don't like that place because it's it's shared.

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You can you know, there's so else is living in

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the same place. But in reality, I actually had my

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own flat, which is a proper council one. It was

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just weird. Is that the whole scenario that just replays itself. Oh?

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I know what I did. I went back working in

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one of my jobs I used to have in a factory,

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and I was back there. It does make me think, though,

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because I was like in my early twenties, so it's

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thirty years ago, and I think about people that I

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used to work with, and I'm pretty sure that Terry

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was in forties, so it would be like an old

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man now, and people that were in their fifties, which

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was a few, they might alfur. For example, he might

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not be around anymore. I tell you one of the

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funniest I've talked about this before, but one of the

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funniest men I ever met was in this factory and

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he was a temp, just a temporary, and he did.

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He came in and we worked together, and he was funny.

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It's really chilled out. And he was in his fifties,

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probably fifty five. My man by age blind me. Yeah, wow,

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I'm talking about him being fifty five as like really old.

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And I just realized that's what I'm going to be

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in a few days, like really old. And I don't

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think I no, No, fifty five is not old. I

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just realized. Anyway, this bloke, he's a big, big bloke,

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like big strong man. He looked a little bit like

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he clearly had a bit of a past. The way

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he talked and the way he moved, and there was

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a certain confidence there and he was so funny, and

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he knew Arthur, so Uncle Arthur was the he was.

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I had to explain Uncle Arthur without making it sound

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like a complete knob. I don't know, because I got

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on well with him, but I didn't. I didn't as well.

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I got really badly with him, but I would also

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sometimes we would see each other out and we'd have

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a drink together, and we got on perfectly, but in

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work we didn't for some weird reason, so we didn't

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have shout each other. And he became a supervisor and

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I used to make just laugh at him because we

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were the same level. In nineteen eighty nine, because I

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moved to London for and I was like there October November, December,

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January February March, so I was there for six months

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from eighty nine to ninety six months where I was

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just living in a room in London. That was kind

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of still my favorite period of being in London though,

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because it was all new, you didn't know, anybody didn't know.

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Everything was kind of fresh. Even the air felt fresh,

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which it wasn't because I was in London. The year

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has never been fresh in London. I think you'd have

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to go quite high up. Yeah, you have to fly

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into the sky, Fly into the sky, you know how

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it feels. Yeah, that was quite a nice period. It

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was a bit bit boring, I'll be honest. It was

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a bit boring. So I didn't have hardly any money,

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so I couldn't really enjoy the experience of being in London.

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I mean, there's there are stuff, there are things you

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can do in London that well, they used to be free.

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I don't know if they are now, but you know,

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things like the museums and stuff standing outside the houses

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of what was it the palace, going to some sometimes

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there's concerts and stuff in Hyde Park and also go

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into the parks. You know, there's lots of places. There

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are places you can go which doesn't cost your money

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other than the travel to get there and back. Then

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traveling on the tube was really really cheap. The rent

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was really really cheap. You know. It wasn't really because

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I lived in a little town before that and the

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rent was about thirty pounds a week. I went there

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and it was about about forty pounds a week or

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thirty five pounds a week. There wasn't a lot of difference.

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It was very kind of similar, kind of maybe a

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little bit more, but not a lot more. I'm pretty

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sure I'd didn't pay forty pounds a week, probably at

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thirty pound thirty five pound, so it's relatively similar. Like

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now it's night and day. It's a completely it's not

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it's daytime now. But let's not be literal. It's absolutely

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like it's yeah, I couldn't. I couldn't live in London now.

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I wouldn't be able to afford to even rent a room,

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even if I was working. It would be yeah, it's

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just wouldn't. I wouldn't be able to do it moving

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from here to there, which is ironic because I'm in

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Essex and moving to Essex was a step up for

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people living in London. It used to be it often

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was the goal to move out of London and to

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move to South End or to Romford, or to Hainal,

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or to Colchester or to Chelmsford or to I don't know,

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there's so many different Essex is one of the biggest

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counties in the country, so it's a huge area, you know,

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in comparison to the UK, to it to England. I

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say huge area. I mean, I'm sure people in America travel.

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It's that's that's some people travel maybe that far just

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to get to the shops, going all the way. You know.

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It's it's amazing that some people travel like two hours

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to get to work, and that's just standard two hours

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to get to the other side of the country. Here,

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tiny little place. I'm surprised we were ever discovered. Honestly,

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it's like it must have been people living here. I

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reckon this country, this this plot of land should record.

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It was left undisturbed for a long long time because

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it's so out of the way. Did you know that

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I think it's Isle of Man. They used to put

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prison German prisoners of wars, Like during the Second World

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War they used to put prisoners of war on the

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Isle of Man. Was the island Isle of Wight one

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of those. Wow, I don't know why I do something.

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I saw the documentary other day and I thought it

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was interesting, and I thought I mentioned that when the

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when the right conversation or the right topic arises, I

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just checked that in as a fact and that will

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help me contribute towards the conversation. And I don't know,

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I just feel more more a part of society, like

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I contributed something to the ongoing dialogue about world War

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two that hadn't said it. I just realized that it

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was kind of a bit out of place, really wasn't.

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It didn't really fit in with what I was already

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talking about. But then I think, in what was I

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talking about? And then I remember I was talking about

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the bloke I met, what was his name, Ray? His

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name was Ray Weird. I probably can remember him because

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of the name of Ray Winston, and he reminds me.

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He was kind of like Ray Winston's size, build, a stocky,

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strong body. You know. It even looked a bit like

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Ray Winston. But this is before Ray Winston was not

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before he was a star, because he was a staff

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from the seventies. He was in a movie called Borstal,

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but he wasn't like a big star the way he

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is Ray Winston. One of my favorite movie stars English

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Ones was Bob Hoskins, and I can't believe that he

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just when he left the planet. He wasn't an astronaut.

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When he left the planet. It was almost like, oh, okay, nothing,

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And I don't know, it's just to me, there was

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something so lovely about him on screen. I know, you

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played a gangster and not all his roles were nice

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and cuddly, but it was something like he was like

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a tough guy but at the same time gentle and

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loving and passionate. And it's almost like, you know, you

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knew that if he was looking after you, he keep

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you safe, but it also keep you nice and comfortable

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as well. What I'm talking about, I don't know. I

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got no idea. Yeah, I don't know. It just seemed

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like you protect you Bob. I thought Bob was lovely

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and Bob Hoskins went back to Ray. So Ray tey

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this room I had at the time. Oh, no, what

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am I talking? I'm now just remembering the room I

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lived in back in nineteen eighty nine, because Ray was

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a few years later than that. But this room I

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lived in, and there was oh, they must have moved

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out because yeah, so downstairs was two girls or two

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females were down there and they were, yeah, they're both

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seemed to be really close friends and they were at

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University of East London I think. And then upstairs there

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was me. There must have been three rooms upstairs, because

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it wouldn't just be two rooms with that. Possibly, I

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don't know. It seems to be strange though, sure that

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there'd been more than four rooms to rent in a house.

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Maybe not, but there was my room. So if you

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go to the top of the stairs or whatever, I

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was up there somewhere, turn right, turn left, and then

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I was able to sit on the window sill. Yeah,

234
00:23:28.720 --> 00:23:30.839
it was. There was enough room to sit out on

235
00:23:30.880 --> 00:23:39.880
the window sill. And you know, not in the winter,

236
00:23:41.200 --> 00:23:44.640
but in the springtime as it's sort of you know,

237
00:23:44.880 --> 00:23:51.359
between the because you know, I was listening to radio

238
00:23:52.559 --> 00:23:58.400
last night and someone was moaning, saying, all, it's now

239
00:23:58.480 --> 00:24:02.599
going into autumn, and it will be winter before we

240
00:24:02.680 --> 00:24:08.440
know it, and me mean, yeah, but it'll be winter

241
00:24:08.519 --> 00:24:11.599
before we know it, but will also be spring before

242
00:24:11.640 --> 00:24:15.160
we know it, and also be summer again before we

243
00:24:15.240 --> 00:24:25.839
know it. So you know, time time is doesn't feel

244
00:24:26.039 --> 00:24:35.880
like time is going fast in the moment necessarily. I mean,

245
00:24:41.400 --> 00:24:45.440
I think some people find time going very slowly when

246
00:24:45.480 --> 00:24:50.920
I'm talking to them. I watched sometimes I talk. I

247
00:24:51.039 --> 00:24:55.640
got this my friend's husband, and I'll talk and heasy

248
00:24:55.720 --> 00:24:59.319
yawning and his eyes are closing, and I'm sure that

249
00:24:59.480 --> 00:25:03.200
half an hour hour seemed like probably four or five

250
00:25:03.240 --> 00:25:08.759
hours for him. Hm hmm. It's I've been doing that

251
00:25:08.839 --> 00:25:14.480
to people for years, talking and watching them trying to

252
00:25:15.200 --> 00:25:21.880
hold in a yawn. I don't think it's always it's

253
00:25:21.960 --> 00:25:27.480
not always the my the subject matter, but it might be.

254
00:25:30.920 --> 00:25:34.039
But I'm not sure. But I'm thinking that I don't

255
00:25:34.079 --> 00:25:42.680
necessarily always have the most interesting voice. Possibly the most exciting,

256
00:25:43.079 --> 00:25:45.640
not interesting, that wouldn't be worth because I think I'm

257
00:25:46.039 --> 00:25:55.240
I'm relatively now, I'm quite exciting. I excite myself. Oh

258
00:25:57.160 --> 00:25:59.880
I don't know what that means. Do you mean you

259
00:26:00.039 --> 00:26:05.680
excite yourself. I don't know You're gonna tell us about Ray.

260
00:26:06.240 --> 00:26:10.359
You started telling us about Ray and then you just stopped. Okay, Ray.

261
00:26:11.759 --> 00:26:18.279
So we were just we worked together a couple of days.

262
00:26:18.720 --> 00:26:20.640
It might have just been one day to be fair,

263
00:26:20.960 --> 00:26:25.480
like a Friday, and we got on really well. And

264
00:26:25.480 --> 00:26:29.200
he said, oh, you're gonna come to the pub. And

265
00:26:29.400 --> 00:26:36.039
normally I'd say no, because normally I just didn't really

266
00:26:36.039 --> 00:26:39.200
have any money to go out. But for some reason

267
00:26:39.240 --> 00:26:41.680
I thought, yeah, So we went to the pub. We

268
00:26:41.759 --> 00:26:48.839
went to this Irish pub, which was it was around

269
00:26:48.880 --> 00:26:57.079
the corner from where I lived. Now, yeah, I'm just

270
00:26:57.119 --> 00:27:03.920
trying to think, all right, yes, I'm trying to place

271
00:27:03.960 --> 00:27:09.480
where we worked. So I so we went into this

272
00:27:09.559 --> 00:27:13.400
pub and we're just sitting there, remember which we were

273
00:27:13.400 --> 00:27:16.680
sitting one side of it, of the bar, because the

274
00:27:16.680 --> 00:27:18.720
bar went all the way around, so it was quite

275
00:27:18.720 --> 00:27:23.680
a quite a big bar, and we were just chatting

276
00:27:24.119 --> 00:27:31.960
and he was telling me stories about Arthur. He he

277
00:27:32.119 --> 00:27:38.079
knew Arthur, who was the supervisor and my art jeemy

278
00:27:38.119 --> 00:27:43.759
at work. Ray I think had gone to school with Arthur,

279
00:27:44.160 --> 00:27:49.160
so we'd known him forever. And he just went on

280
00:27:49.279 --> 00:27:52.279
and just told me about Arthur, told me all lots

281
00:27:52.279 --> 00:27:55.720
of things about him that he got up to over

282
00:27:55.759 --> 00:28:00.160
the last forty odd years. And I was, honestly, I

283
00:28:00.200 --> 00:28:03.960
was laughing my head off, and then he was telling

284
00:28:04.000 --> 00:28:07.519
me stuff. It wasn't all based aimed at Arthur. There's

285
00:28:07.559 --> 00:28:11.880
a few little bits and bobs, but and I contributed

286
00:28:11.880 --> 00:28:18.079
and told him some stuff that had happened, some of

287
00:28:18.119 --> 00:28:24.559
the stories. I've talked about his story, and anyone that's

288
00:28:24.640 --> 00:28:31.759
listened to me for a long time may remember it's

289
00:28:31.799 --> 00:28:37.279
about a bloke going into a pub and he's basically

290
00:28:37.480 --> 00:28:43.799
really kicking off and yeah, so the story, if you

291
00:28:43.839 --> 00:28:49.200
remember the story, it's like I told that story probably

292
00:28:49.880 --> 00:29:02.279
six years ago. It was really it was very funny.

293
00:29:03.200 --> 00:29:07.680
And there's also a sadness as well, but like a

294
00:29:08.720 --> 00:29:13.279
sadness and a positivity there because he was going blind.

295
00:29:14.720 --> 00:29:21.359
His eyesight was really really bad and he was, you know,

296
00:29:21.440 --> 00:29:27.000
he was heading towards blindness, and he had his daughter

297
00:29:27.039 --> 00:29:30.079
looking after him, helping him out and stuff, and.

298
00:29:33.000 --> 00:29:34.039
He just.

299
00:29:37.279 --> 00:29:41.039
It was weird. There was a rule. It was positive

300
00:29:41.359 --> 00:29:46.440
and even he was just funny whether he was drinking

301
00:29:46.640 --> 00:29:50.039
or not drinking. And he wasn't no aggression, nothing, it

302
00:29:50.119 --> 00:29:54.079
was no, it didn't change him. It just it just

303
00:29:54.559 --> 00:29:58.079
he just enjoyed having a pint. So we had like

304
00:29:58.200 --> 00:30:02.000
probly four pints. I was probably drunk, to be honest

305
00:30:02.039 --> 00:30:09.319
about that. But the next day we went into work

306
00:30:09.839 --> 00:30:13.119
because we had a Saturdays. We didn't not always work Saturday,

307
00:30:13.160 --> 00:30:22.799
but that day we did, and Arthur was there and

308
00:30:22.839 --> 00:30:25.559
we were just starting to work and we see Alfur

309
00:30:25.599 --> 00:30:32.279
walking and we can't stop laughing. And Arthur's walking up

310
00:30:32.319 --> 00:30:38.920
to us and he's he's like, he's like, what you're

311
00:30:38.960 --> 00:30:42.160
doing laughing? To get on with some work? Do some work,

312
00:30:42.319 --> 00:30:47.440
and Ray just tells him to shut up, and Arthur

313
00:30:47.559 --> 00:30:50.720
walks away. He does he doesn't know what to say

314
00:30:50.799 --> 00:30:57.680
because he's he he knows Ray. I mean he's Ray.

315
00:30:58.240 --> 00:31:02.359
Half is the reason of Ray was working there because Ray,

316
00:31:02.599 --> 00:31:08.000
you know, after I think Ray was I keep saying

317
00:31:08.079 --> 00:31:13.279
Ray and arfur So I think he probably met Arthur

318
00:31:13.359 --> 00:31:16.599
in the pub and Arthur said, well, try and get

319
00:31:16.640 --> 00:31:20.640
him our place into the factory and I'll get you

320
00:31:20.680 --> 00:31:23.759
some work and i'll keep you on and stuff. So

321
00:31:24.279 --> 00:31:29.440
Ray said, oh, okay, so you know, so it's still friends.

322
00:31:30.799 --> 00:31:36.319
It's just that he wouldn't take any rubbish from him.

323
00:31:36.400 --> 00:31:39.160
And then he left. He was there, he didn't like

324
00:31:39.279 --> 00:31:49.160
the job, so he didn't come back. It was so funny.

325
00:31:50.480 --> 00:31:54.440
I met some characters doing their job. I met a

326
00:31:54.440 --> 00:31:58.240
lot of people from a lot of different countries and

327
00:31:58.559 --> 00:32:02.000
doing some of the jobs I had. I mean in London,

328
00:32:02.200 --> 00:32:07.559
you know, when I was a security guard, the other

329
00:32:07.640 --> 00:32:16.519
security guards were African, most of them. And when I

330
00:32:16.559 --> 00:32:23.880
worked in the Yeah, when I worked in the big bakery,

331
00:32:25.400 --> 00:32:27.599
most of the people I worked with when I worked

332
00:32:27.680 --> 00:32:31.759
inside the bakery itself rather than in the canteen, most

333
00:32:31.799 --> 00:32:39.200
of the people I worked with were from other countries.

334
00:32:40.559 --> 00:32:47.920
Probably think India and Jamaica. I think that was the

335
00:32:47.960 --> 00:32:53.079
two main places. Now A lot of them already knew

336
00:32:53.079 --> 00:32:58.960
me because I was serving and food before serving of food.

337
00:32:58.960 --> 00:33:01.599
That sounds weird, but I was working in the canteen

338
00:33:03.440 --> 00:33:08.319
for a good few months, so they, you know, most

339
00:33:08.319 --> 00:33:10.519
of the people working out already knew who I was,

340
00:33:12.599 --> 00:33:15.160
so I got on quite well with the people. But

341
00:33:17.160 --> 00:33:21.839
it was very weird because the thing is from a

342
00:33:21.920 --> 00:33:29.240
safety perspective in a place like that, where if something

343
00:33:29.279 --> 00:33:34.240
goes wrong, it could really go wrong. All these I mean, dad,

344
00:33:36.559 --> 00:33:40.079
the mixes, the bread mixes were the size of this building.

345
00:33:40.599 --> 00:33:44.720
I'm exaggerating for the sake of it, but you know, huge, massive,

346
00:33:48.160 --> 00:34:03.799
And the miscommunication was kind of ridiculous because it was

347
00:34:03.839 --> 00:34:07.440
so loud to start with, so it was hard, but

348
00:34:07.480 --> 00:34:12.199
then people were shouting in different languages. So there's one

349
00:34:12.199 --> 00:34:16.840
point where I heard shouting and in the end someone

350
00:34:17.000 --> 00:34:20.480
pulled me physically out of the way of something that

351
00:34:20.559 --> 00:34:25.559
was heading towards me. And because all I was hearing

352
00:34:25.719 --> 00:34:32.719
was like, it's something that I didn't understand what I

353
00:34:32.760 --> 00:34:34.519
was hearing, so I didn't figure it was for me,

354
00:34:38.000 --> 00:34:40.599
but I was on the floor, I think I was.

355
00:34:42.000 --> 00:34:46.519
There was two English speaking people, not English speaking, they

356
00:34:46.559 --> 00:34:51.320
all spoke English, but English person there whose first language

357
00:34:51.400 --> 00:35:02.199
was English. There's two of us and it is from

358
00:35:02.199 --> 00:35:07.079
a communication point of view, because when it's quiet, I

359
00:35:07.119 --> 00:35:16.760
can communicate with anyone pretty much. And also even if

360
00:35:16.760 --> 00:35:21.800
someone's English isn't maybe it's it's not you know, I

361
00:35:21.840 --> 00:35:25.960
can still communicate. I can communicate with people if I

362
00:35:26.039 --> 00:35:28.480
when I've been abroad, I always managed to communicate with

363
00:35:28.559 --> 00:35:32.280
people because you know, it takes I take my time

364
00:35:32.400 --> 00:35:37.079
and I'm in no hurry, and you know I'd find

365
00:35:37.079 --> 00:35:41.599
a way. But when there's a lot of noise, well

366
00:35:42.199 --> 00:35:49.000
it's practically impossible. I suppose you can use sign language

367
00:35:49.119 --> 00:35:52.360
or you know, sort of signs, not sign language, but

368
00:35:52.519 --> 00:35:59.599
signs to sort of to tell people stuff. But I

369
00:35:59.639 --> 00:36:04.719
don't know if they had that. All I know is

370
00:36:05.559 --> 00:36:10.079
I remember coming back because they ustayd a like a bus,

371
00:36:10.519 --> 00:36:14.559
like a private bus coach thing that would bring go

372
00:36:14.760 --> 00:36:18.400
from warden Stowe to Stratford and then to other places.

373
00:36:18.880 --> 00:36:21.360
So i'd get old, I'd grab on that because it

374
00:36:21.400 --> 00:36:28.599
was free and this was just for us, you know,

375
00:36:28.840 --> 00:36:32.599
the workers. Now, I've done a twenty four hour shift,

376
00:36:32.880 --> 00:36:40.760
so I was tired. Tired is not the word. And

377
00:36:40.800 --> 00:36:45.079
I did this. I did one week where I did

378
00:36:45.079 --> 00:36:50.599
one hundred hours, So I don't know how many how

379
00:36:50.599 --> 00:36:56.719
many hours that is in a in a day seven

380
00:36:59.280 --> 00:37:06.400
seventy ten hours a day for seven days is seventy

381
00:37:07.079 --> 00:37:20.000
another thirty, so one hundred hours five days at twenty hours.

382
00:37:20.360 --> 00:37:22.719
So I must have been doing sixteen hours or something

383
00:37:22.760 --> 00:37:28.679
a day. Two shifts, and I did once do a

384
00:37:28.719 --> 00:37:34.719
twenty four hour shift, which is just ridiculous. But I

385
00:37:34.719 --> 00:37:37.559
did that with a security as well. Because I shifts

386
00:37:37.559 --> 00:37:41.280
for twelve hours. I did the twenty four hours, fell asleep,

387
00:37:42.840 --> 00:37:54.039
got suspended. Yeah, it's to do sixteen hours in a

388
00:37:54.079 --> 00:38:00.920
bakery shouldn't really be allowed just from a health and

389
00:38:01.039 --> 00:38:07.360
safety perspective. But I remember I got my biggest paycheck

390
00:38:07.480 --> 00:38:12.800
I'd ever had up to that point, and it was cash,

391
00:38:13.679 --> 00:38:16.480
had my tax taken off already as well, had a

392
00:38:16.519 --> 00:38:19.639
little brown envelope as we used to get back in

393
00:38:19.679 --> 00:38:28.679
the nineties or early nineties, late eighties. And I went

394
00:38:28.760 --> 00:38:33.119
up to the manager's office to collect my paycheck or

395
00:38:33.159 --> 00:38:37.679
my pay cash, and I was saying all and I

396
00:38:37.800 --> 00:38:41.119
was smiling. I said, why because apparently I'd hearn the

397
00:38:41.159 --> 00:38:45.119
most out of anyone else in the in the factory,

398
00:38:45.880 --> 00:38:50.280
because of all the hours I've done. And I opened

399
00:38:50.360 --> 00:38:52.480
up and I looked at this amount of money, and

400
00:38:53.719 --> 00:38:59.400
I'd never seen so much cash, like for one week's

401
00:38:59.440 --> 00:39:05.960
work that never you know, I was used to one

402
00:39:06.000 --> 00:39:10.840
hundred pounds a week if I was lucky, so to

403
00:39:10.880 --> 00:39:16.440
get two hundred and fifty after tax. In fact, I

404
00:39:16.480 --> 00:39:20.079
don't think i'd hardly earn. I can't always getting more

405
00:39:20.119 --> 00:39:22.960
than one hundred pounds in the bakery. I was probably

406
00:39:23.000 --> 00:39:26.320
getting about one hundred and thirty one hundred and forty

407
00:39:26.320 --> 00:39:36.119
pounds a week. I was paying tax on that, which

408
00:39:36.239 --> 00:39:40.719
seems I don't know, should we get paying tax on

409
00:39:41.840 --> 00:39:49.440
such a small amount. But yeah, that was back then. Yeah.

410
00:39:49.480 --> 00:39:59.159
I remember I was traveling on the bus and it

411
00:39:59.199 --> 00:40:04.639
was really just surreal because or this coach thing, because

412
00:40:04.760 --> 00:40:11.280
all these voices and I didn't understand a word that

413
00:40:11.400 --> 00:40:18.840
anyone was saying, and I fell asleep and it was

414
00:40:18.920 --> 00:40:23.159
just so weird, just a weird feeling like I don't

415
00:40:25.079 --> 00:40:27.519
it's like I don't know where I am. I didn't

416
00:40:27.519 --> 00:40:31.400
know where I was. Very strange.

417
00:40:35.679 --> 00:40:50.760
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

418
00:40:45.760 --> 00:40:56.559
Bum bum bum. The thing is, I think a lot

419
00:40:56.599 --> 00:41:01.159
of the people that worked there, there's a lot of

420
00:41:01.320 --> 00:41:05.239
older men working there. There was I think there's one

421
00:41:05.280 --> 00:41:11.199
woman in the whole factory. Like in the actual the

422
00:41:11.280 --> 00:41:17.119
bakery itself, it was all men, and then there was yeah,

423
00:41:18.239 --> 00:41:24.679
there's women working in the administration area, the p and

424
00:41:24.800 --> 00:41:31.519
the catering part. Yeah. No, And the women could have

425
00:41:31.519 --> 00:41:34.159
done a job just as well as a man. It

426
00:41:34.199 --> 00:41:41.599
wasn't really it was endurance rather than physical strength in

427
00:41:41.679 --> 00:41:45.480
a sense of I mean back then, I think the

428
00:41:45.519 --> 00:41:48.960
average woman would have been stronger than me anyway, but

429
00:41:49.039 --> 00:41:58.599
it wasn't. What was really weird is they'd never turned

430
00:41:58.840 --> 00:42:05.800
anything off. They hated to turn the the conveyor belt

431
00:42:05.920 --> 00:42:14.199
off if they didn't have to, which meant when stuff

432
00:42:14.320 --> 00:42:17.159
was coming off the other end of the conveyor belt

433
00:42:17.639 --> 00:42:22.920
and needed to be put into trays, there was very

434
00:42:23.000 --> 00:42:27.840
little wiggle room. And you might be thinking what you're

435
00:42:27.840 --> 00:42:31.519
wiggling about, for what's wiggling got to do with anything?

436
00:42:32.559 --> 00:42:37.960
What I mean by that is if you miss, if

437
00:42:38.039 --> 00:42:43.760
you you know, you can't get it back. Once one

438
00:42:44.039 --> 00:42:49.400
falls off the end onto the floor, another one falls

439
00:42:49.440 --> 00:42:53.639
onto the floor and you can't and because it's fallen

440
00:42:53.679 --> 00:42:56.920
onto the floor, you can't get to the position that

441
00:42:57.039 --> 00:43:01.079
you need to get the next one off. And I've

442
00:43:01.360 --> 00:43:08.800
literally stood there up to my knees in bread rolls

443
00:43:09.880 --> 00:43:18.599
because tray after trays banging onto the floor until someone

444
00:43:18.679 --> 00:43:27.880
stops to convey about. And I don't know why. It's

445
00:43:27.960 --> 00:43:30.400
not like I'd wanted to stop it for a long time.

446
00:43:31.000 --> 00:43:35.400
Just a few seconds, let me get up, you know,

447
00:43:35.480 --> 00:43:44.159
up to date. Sometimes the the brown trays or baskets

448
00:43:44.239 --> 00:43:49.679
that the bread rolls we put into, they weren't replaced.

449
00:43:49.920 --> 00:43:54.280
So I needed them. I needed to put the bread somewhere,

450
00:43:56.360 --> 00:43:58.719
and so I'd look around and be none left, or

451
00:43:58.719 --> 00:44:05.280
someone just taking one's eyes and there's literally nowhere to

452
00:44:05.320 --> 00:44:08.320
put anything, and they just end up on the floor.

453
00:44:10.719 --> 00:44:13.880
And I thought that was just such a waste of food,

454
00:44:14.760 --> 00:44:28.719
such a waste. Yeah, I kind of wish I'd stuck

455
00:44:28.800 --> 00:44:31.800
with that. There's a few There's so many things that

456
00:44:31.800 --> 00:44:38.679
I would have changed over the years if I went back.

457
00:44:39.199 --> 00:44:48.440
But then one little change could have just transformed my

458
00:44:48.559 --> 00:44:55.599
whole life, given't it. One little decision, one little tweak

459
00:44:55.760 --> 00:45:02.280
or twerk there or here, and my whole world would

460
00:45:02.320 --> 00:45:09.320
potentially have been different. So, I mean, if I had

461
00:45:09.440 --> 00:45:14.679
stayed there, who knows, I might have ended up. I

462
00:45:14.679 --> 00:45:19.760
don't know why, but I might have ended up getting married,

463
00:45:19.920 --> 00:45:26.719
having kids, getting a mortgage you know, having like a

464
00:45:26.760 --> 00:45:36.800
normal life, just because I suppose something technically financially I

465
00:45:36.840 --> 00:45:42.920
was doing all right. I possibly would have been able

466
00:45:42.960 --> 00:45:45.840
to afford to get a mortgage on the money I

467
00:45:45.880 --> 00:45:54.480
was getting because I was working so many hours. It's weird, though,

468
00:45:54.519 --> 00:45:56.760
isn't it. Because you think two hundred and fifty pound

469
00:45:57.480 --> 00:46:05.079
a week, one thousand pounds a month, which is what

470
00:46:05.280 --> 00:46:08.679
twelve thousand pounds a year take that was take home.

471
00:46:11.239 --> 00:46:17.280
It's such a small amount. But back then, back then,

472
00:46:18.880 --> 00:46:25.800
nineteen ninety one, it wasn't a small amount. It was

473
00:46:26.960 --> 00:46:44.119
like really good money. Kind of it was okay money,

474
00:46:45.159 --> 00:46:49.480
and I couldn't really do anything else but work because

475
00:46:49.760 --> 00:46:54.800
I was just so naked doing the job, and so

476
00:46:55.119 --> 00:46:58.360
i'd be, you know, partner obviously part of my days off,

477
00:46:59.480 --> 00:47:02.960
if I did get days off, but that was always

478
00:47:03.000 --> 00:47:05.639
a choice anyway. I didn't have to I didn't have

479
00:47:05.760 --> 00:47:12.559
to do the overtime. It was it was an opportunity

480
00:47:12.679 --> 00:47:18.000
to have some money. So that was just useful to

481
00:47:18.039 --> 00:47:24.960
get paid, useful having some cash. My rent was forty

482
00:47:25.000 --> 00:47:34.239
pounds a week at that time, so to begin over

483
00:47:34.320 --> 00:47:46.039
two hundred pounds a week, it was definitely pretty groovy. Oh, moovy.

484
00:47:54.599 --> 00:48:10.960
I was thinking of what was it Saturday today? Mm hmm, yeah, Saturday.

485
00:48:17.679 --> 00:48:20.960
I partly would kind of like to go out, but

486
00:48:22.880 --> 00:48:27.840
I haven't really been out since since I had to

487
00:48:27.880 --> 00:48:31.519
go out for Uncle's sausages, although I did go out Monday.

488
00:48:32.280 --> 00:48:37.719
I got a taxi to the doctor's surgery and had

489
00:48:37.840 --> 00:48:48.360
my yeary mental health review check things side a blood

490
00:48:48.440 --> 00:48:54.480
test and blood pressure don and got weighed and checked

491
00:48:54.519 --> 00:49:00.480
my pulse. Everything was fine, if I know about the

492
00:49:00.480 --> 00:49:07.360
blood test, but everything was fine as far as my

493
00:49:07.440 --> 00:49:15.159
blood pressure was really good. My puls orate blood pressure

494
00:49:15.199 --> 00:49:18.119
is a pulsary, isn't it anyway? Blood pressure is really good,

495
00:49:18.159 --> 00:49:23.719
pulse rates fine. My weight's good. So I've lost some

496
00:49:23.800 --> 00:49:29.679
weight a little bit, just a little bit. I've kept

497
00:49:29.719 --> 00:49:35.079
it off anyway, so the way I got rid of

498
00:49:35.119 --> 00:49:41.440
the fact I reach just has stayed off. So I'm

499
00:49:41.480 --> 00:49:45.840
just under fifteen stone now and it's a much more

500
00:49:46.199 --> 00:49:49.679
manageable way. I just feel I'm so light, though I'm

501
00:49:49.679 --> 00:49:55.280
scared i'll blow away just but it's all right. I

502
00:49:55.360 --> 00:49:59.000
just feel lighter, which I'm kind of surprised about.

503
00:50:03.840 --> 00:50:17.320
Yeah, baby, there, I don't know what I was talking about.

504
00:50:17.360 --> 00:50:23.400
Then I'll be honest with you, I'd got no idea

505
00:50:23.480 --> 00:50:35.840
what I was just waffling on about. Uh. I got

506
00:50:35.840 --> 00:50:43.880
my deliveries yesterday. It was so nice. It's weird because

507
00:50:43.880 --> 00:50:53.360
the Amazon bloke delivered it in his huge sack with wheels,

508
00:50:53.519 --> 00:50:57.800
like big box thing with wheels, and I don't think

509
00:50:57.800 --> 00:51:02.199
I've ever seen that before. So I'm wondering what the

510
00:51:02.239 --> 00:51:07.000
noise is because I'm hearing this like banging up the

511
00:51:07.079 --> 00:51:12.440
stairs like Vinnie was barking. I'm just telling Vinnie to

512
00:51:12.519 --> 00:51:16.360
stop barking, not realizing that he's actually barking for a reason.

513
00:51:17.320 --> 00:51:20.719
And he's been a good, good boy, isn't he for

514
00:51:20.800 --> 00:51:25.079
letting me know that someone's coming to my door. Anyway,

515
00:51:25.239 --> 00:51:27.159
the bloke knocked on my door and open it and

516
00:51:27.159 --> 00:51:37.119
he's got this big thing on the floor and he's

517
00:51:37.239 --> 00:51:39.880
just stroking his things, this big thing, and I was like,

518
00:51:41.840 --> 00:51:44.840
I said, he said, yeah, he got some packages there,

519
00:51:47.159 --> 00:51:52.360
and I think there was one, two, three, four different packages.

520
00:51:53.519 --> 00:52:00.519
So I had my soap, I had my wet wipes,

521
00:52:02.320 --> 00:52:21.599
I had my face wipes, I had deodorant, and oh yeah,

522
00:52:21.880 --> 00:52:30.079
I also had uh two packs of dog food as well.

523
00:52:32.119 --> 00:52:42.119
That's six different things. So the deodorant I got. I

524
00:52:42.239 --> 00:52:44.719
got enough to last me for the year to rest

525
00:52:44.760 --> 00:52:49.079
of the year. I got enough soap to last me

526
00:52:49.199 --> 00:52:58.239
for the rest of the year. I'm trying to think

527
00:52:58.320 --> 00:53:02.559
what else tea packs? Oh, yes, so seven, I've got

528
00:53:02.599 --> 00:53:09.039
tea bags. I've got wow, huge amounts of tea bags.

529
00:53:09.079 --> 00:53:13.320
So that that would be I got, yeah, easily enough

530
00:53:13.360 --> 00:53:15.320
tea bags for last week to the end of the year.

531
00:53:19.840 --> 00:53:24.280
So it's like a couple of thousand tea bags. I think, No,

532
00:53:25.559 --> 00:53:30.480
not a couple of thousand. I'm exaggerating. There eight eight

533
00:53:30.760 --> 00:53:36.000
eight eight eight, there's about eight hundred tea bags. There

534
00:53:36.039 --> 00:53:43.880
was two packs of two backs either two packs of five. Yeah,

535
00:53:44.079 --> 00:53:46.960
like in a little the little box things. So there's

536
00:53:47.280 --> 00:53:50.760
I think there's five boxes in each or maybe six

537
00:53:50.800 --> 00:53:55.159
box in boxes in each five I think maybe six.

538
00:53:55.719 --> 00:54:01.320
There's eighty per box. So yeah, that's at least eight

539
00:54:01.440 --> 00:54:08.800
hundred tea bags to get me through to the end

540
00:54:08.800 --> 00:54:24.280
of the year. So see how many you need? One, two, three, four.

541
00:54:24.920 --> 00:54:32.400
I have at least four cups of tea per day,

542
00:54:43.480 --> 00:54:50.039
so I'm trying to work out how many days. So four, okay,

543
00:54:50.159 --> 00:54:59.599
if I had if I had eight cups of tea

544
00:54:59.599 --> 00:55:13.119
a day. That would give me one hundred days. So

545
00:55:13.119 --> 00:55:31.320
I've had half of that. Yeah, it's two hundred days

546
00:55:31.360 --> 00:55:36.199
of tea bags and mid days left in this year,

547
00:55:38.039 --> 00:55:46.119
so nearly the end of August, September, October, November, December

548
00:55:46.920 --> 00:55:57.920
three six three or three more than three weeks. And

549
00:55:57.960 --> 00:56:02.880
then my thirty I'm thinking of night, so thirty sorry,

550
00:56:03.800 --> 00:56:29.199
thirty days September, October, November, December, thirty times by eight. Okay,

551
00:56:29.519 --> 00:56:33.599
Sir'll work out another way as I'm fallen asleep talking

552
00:56:33.639 --> 00:56:39.000
about it. Mathematics is a way for me to fall asleep, yees.

553
00:56:43.800 --> 00:56:49.400
Or two hundred days thirty sixty ninety, one hundred and

554
00:56:49.440 --> 00:56:58.639
twenty September October one hundred and twenty. How many did

555
00:56:58.639 --> 00:57:08.840
I I've got eight hundred three six? Oh no, that's

556
00:57:09.440 --> 00:57:14.119
that's for one a day, though, isn't it? Three thirty

557
00:57:14.239 --> 00:57:18.360
sixteen ninety one hundred and twenty days? But one a day?

558
00:57:19.159 --> 00:57:24.840
But what about for a day? Four day is for use?

559
00:57:27.039 --> 00:57:31.559
I reckon eight hundred will last me until the end

560
00:57:31.599 --> 00:57:36.840
of the year. In fact, I would I reckon as

561
00:57:36.840 --> 00:57:40.039
we get to the end of the year, like you know,

562
00:57:40.280 --> 00:57:49.079
moving towards Happy New Year. Book all that stuff. I

563
00:57:49.119 --> 00:58:05.559
will find that letter. I don't know why whatever I say, Emma, wow,

564
00:58:06.800 --> 00:58:09.519
I'm drifting off back to sleep again as I'm talking.

565
00:58:11.039 --> 00:58:14.559
So I better just go and get some breakfast. I

566
00:58:15.639 --> 00:58:26.840
do bore myself to sleep. Genuinely. It's weird, isn't it.

567
00:58:26.840 --> 00:58:33.559
It's very very strange. So yeah, today's Saturday. I'm gonna

568
00:58:33.599 --> 00:58:39.079
have me breakfast. Now, I'm gonna watch a bit of Telly.

569
00:58:39.440 --> 00:58:49.039
I'm there, gonna take Vinnie out for a walk, and

570
00:58:49.079 --> 00:58:52.320
I need to edit this and upload this. But outside

571
00:58:52.360 --> 00:59:04.960
of that, I don't have much in the way of plans. Really. Yeah,

572
00:59:05.440 --> 00:59:12.159
so I'm going to go. Thank you for listening, and

573
00:59:12.280 --> 00:59:16.280
remember to be kind to yourself because you do deserve

574
00:59:16.400 --> 00:59:22.480
to be happy, and be gentle with yourself. Mister Krokiy

575
00:59:22.559 --> 00:59:26.480
voice says, be careful, be gentle with yourself because you

576
00:59:26.639 --> 00:59:34.159
do deserve to feel safe. Lots of love. Bye bye,

577
00:59:34.239 --> 00:59:34.800
bye bye