June 16, 2025

(music) BISCUITS | Monday’s Boring Objects | LMBYTS #1376 | Jason Newland | 16th June 2025

(music) BISCUITS | Monday’s Boring Objects | LMBYTS #1376 | Jason Newland | 16th June 2025
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Hello, and welcome to let me boy you to sleep.

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My name's Jason Newland and my website who is Jasonnewland

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dot com where all my recordings live. Yeah, also have

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a Facebook group Jason Newlands Boring Group on Facebook. There's

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a link on my website to there, and also YouTube

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channel at Jason Newland. So please only listen when you

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can safety close your eyes. This is boring or Monday's

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boring objects now, Vinny, it's on the floor at the moment, Chew.

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I've put some food out for him and he's not

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touched it because it's not the food that he likes.

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You could argue, well, would you eat food you didn't like?

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It's a fair enough argument, but he used to like it. Well,

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if you've never gone off food, have you? You liked everything?

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You've always liked every single food I've ever had. You're

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never eating something then got fed up with it? All right? Okay,

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mind me calm down. Yeah, there have been things that

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I've overeaten. There was this biscuits once. Biscuits is going

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to be the subject today, by the way, biscuits. I'm

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I was gonna say, I'm scraping a barrel, but I'm

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scrape I'm scraping the biscuit tin for this one. Biscuits.

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How can I talk for an about biscuits. If anyone

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can do it, I can do it. I suppose biscuits. Well,

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the memory I just had was I used to visit

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my nan. This is when she was alive and the

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best time to visit people I find. And she had these,

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Oh man, they were so nice. They were because in

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the early days before she kind of lost her mobility,

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she used to be making cakes. Are such nice cakes,

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especially the rock cakes. All the bestest rock cakes I've

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ever had in my life, still to this day. And

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they were just perfect, even if, to be fair, even

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if they were sometimes a bit burnt, it didn't matter.

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They were just effect. There were my Nanny Newland's brock cakes.

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They were just however they were. I want to say burn,

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you know, because sometimes if you leave them in the

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oven a little bit too long. We know what burn means.

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Am I going to have this? Are you going to

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be argumented in the whole recording? Maybe right? Vinnie started barking,

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there was a dog in the distance, well somewhere, I mean,

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what is distance and what is close about distancing close.

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I was in the park earlier and I thought I

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saw a couple of dopeman's running towards me off the lead.

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So I was like, oh, but I got it wrong

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because I didn't have my glasses on. I just forgot

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to take my asses with me, and I realized I

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looked down at it was just a couple of choo

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I was chill. I was was actually about two inches

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from my feet. They look exactly like can they look

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the same as nobleman? Anyway, there's a few unfriendly dog walkers.

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There's like the friendly ones and then there's the ones

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that just almost don't want to interact, which is up

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to them, I know, but I've made the effort to

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be friendly if I can. Ah, I don't know. There's

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just some some dog walkers I like, they kind of

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pull the dog away from me, even I understand if

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it's a dangerous dog or you know, if it's a

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dangerous dogwise and not on a muzzle would be my question.

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But h strange, the strange old world. The dog dogg

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in and so this dog, I don't know, vinn he

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was He wasn't just barking, he was howling like a wolf.

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You know, his his his face looking up to the sky,

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oh oh, which he doesn't do very often. So it

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was very much kind of a pack call. He was.

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It's definitely it was. There's something kind of communication going

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on there. I would say I had to shut him

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up because the neighbor downstairs is probably asleep. I want

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to disturb in the neighbors, especially as tomorrow the building

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works begins. Burm burm bom. Yeah. My neighbour opposite has

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his bathroom. It was bathroom is going to be rebuilt,

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so it's going to be noise noise, noise, noise for

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it'll probably be full on for about a week while

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the rest of this week Tuesday to Friday, and then

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it will reduce a little bit after that. The first

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bit is I seem to dig up the concrete. I

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think digging up the bath is a proper like shape

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to the whole building. I'm not going to be able

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to make a recording when they're here, so I was thinking,

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maybe try and do the recordings today while it's relatively quiet.

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I mean I was thinking, actually early on, I should

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make the most of it being quiet and relax, maybe

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watch a couple of movies, you know, just have like

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a relaxing day where there's not noise, because guarantee what

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happens when there's noise in one flat, another neighbor would

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turn music on to cover up that noise for them,

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and then another neighbor would turn up to cover up

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the noise of that music, and before you know it,

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it's like noisy, really noisy, and it's yeah, it's just

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human nature to do that. I mean, the most I

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would do is I put my headphones on, so I

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can kind of block out the noise with my headphones.

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But it limits me to what I can do. I mean,

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I could listen to music, or I could watch TV

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and stuff, watch a movie. I'll probably just take this

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one out for a few long longer. Wall really said

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the word longer journeys tomorrow in it. So reckon Tuesday

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and Wednesday will be the Tuesday, Wednesday third, which is

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the next The rest of this week will be the

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most amount of disruption orditory wise. But then there's a

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lot of doors slamming, they're coming and going, and you know,

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so that that agitates the old Vinst here, so I

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guess he'll be doing a bit of barking. So What

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I'll try and do is when they do get here,

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what I like to do. If there's builders coming into

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the building, I try and introduce Viny to them, so

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then he knows who they are. Once he's met them,

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he doesn't seem so bothered. But if someone comes in

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and out of the building continuously and he hasn't seen

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them and he doesn't know who they are, it seems

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to irritate him a bit, don't it. What are you

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sniffing there for? There's nothing there? Trust me, well, there is,

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but it's nothing, nothing interesting. Wow. Yeah, So my name

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got these biscuits. I can't eve remember what they were called,

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but there is super delicious. And she'd make a cup

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of tea, like you know, I want to go around.

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She'd make a cup of tea. Sometimes i'd do it for,

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you know, especially when she lived in the sheld accommodation.

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I'd make a cup of tea for her. I remember saying,

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I remember the first time I made her a cup

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of tea. Which is going to sound weird, but I

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think the first time I ever made my name a

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cup of tea. I was in my forties. She always

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did it, you know, And I remember saying how many sugars?

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Then six said six sugars of the tea, and being

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being British, being English or whatever I had, I had

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no choice but to say, oh, would you like some

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tea with your sugar? Because you know all English people

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say that, and we find it hilarious every time we

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say it. Yes, we do, Yes, we do vy yes.

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Starting Another one is like when someone say in Hell,

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I won't say the actual word f in hell. And

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the comeback for that, being English is I hope so

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there's no TV there? It's what did I say? I

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heard radio DJA the other day moaning about pigeons. Now,

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if you follow me, you know that I'm a pigeon lover.

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Horace is one of my best friends. And here's a pigeon.

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He's been visiting me for ten years. It's weird he

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looks younger now. Oh but and there's a different color.

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But you know, Horace like, I love pigeons. I always

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have done, even when as a little kid going to

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Trafalgar Square. That was this DJ. This radio presenter was

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moaning about pigeons and he lives in London and he

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was saying, it's so good now that they the government

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or the London mayor at the time, managed to get

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rid of those people selling I don't know, pigeons seed

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to the tourists in order to stop encouraging because I

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made it illegal to try and get rid of the

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pigeons from Trafalgar Square. What did they think Trafalgar Square

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was famous for around the world, those big statues? Maybe

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the pigeons. Yeah, as an experience, the statues don't do anything.

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They just stand there and yeah, they mean something. I

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don't know what they are, but they mean something to

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people that are into that stuff historically. I mean, is

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it's church. I don't even know what statues are in

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Trafalgar Square to be honest with you. I know there's

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a lion. There's a lion. Isn't there a big golden

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lion or silver lion or something like that? And I

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mean they're impressive, especially when you're a little kid, like, Wow,

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they're huge. How did they manage to fit them on

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their God, whoever lifted that must have been super strong.

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Perhaps it was super a man's that's what. Well, that's

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what my brothers were saying. I said, nope, it's a

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wonder woman. Because I was obsessed with Wonder Woman back then,

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and I just you know, like, actually, what do people

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take pictures of? You can't take picture of you. I

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suppose if you're if you're far enough away from the statue,

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you can get a picture of you with the statue

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in the background. I guess like the Eiffel Tower and

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things like that, which is just up the road. I think,

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I think that's in Leicester Square. And but what do

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people go home with when they've been to Like what

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back in those days, in the seventies, an the eighties

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maybe and probably decades before that, people took photographs of

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their holiday to London. There would be at least one

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photograph of them covered in pigeons. That's what Trevalger Square

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was fair as far the pigeons. They got rid of it.

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They got rid of the pigeons, and I can't seem

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to let it go. It's weird. I didn't realize it

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affected me so much. I love the pigeons. One of

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my happiest memories as a child was apart from being

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on a rough Harris show, which was kind of that's

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a whole different what are you doing? You're attacking me

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on talking to Linny there not rof he it's a bit. Yeah,

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I was on a rough Harry show. That wasn't a

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joke because seriously was on a rough Harry show when

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I was about ten, nine or ten, and it was

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one of the best days of my life, genuinely, And

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I would say there's thousands and thousands and thousands of

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other kids that would also say the same. Maybe not

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the best day of their life, but it was an

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amazing experience for most people that did it, because it

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was just I loved it. I got to see Keith

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Keith Harris with awful and cuddles, and I got to

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see Dollar, who were really big at the time as well.

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They were a group. I can't remember what song they sung.

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You can do something like that anyway. I've talked about

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that before, but that that is just you know. But

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one of the experiences I really enjoyed was it was

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in the children's home and it's a little period between

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moving in with my dad and his new wife, and

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so it was in South End, we're going to move in.

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I don't think we even knew we were going to

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move in, but we were visible in every weekend to

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I guess for them to get to know us and

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us to get to know them and to see whether

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or not they wanted to. You know, it was a process.

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It wasn't just like here's your kids who haven't seen

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them for five years, take them. It was there was

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a process to it. And even then, this was like

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nineteen seventy seven. So we'd go every weekend, and then

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one weekend our auntie picked us up and she said, oh,

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you're going to come and stare with me in London

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because the step mum's unwell, she's got I don't know

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measles or mumps or something like that. I said, what

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you're talking about Willis, which is weird because I've never

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seen different strokes at that point because it hadn't been on,

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didn't come on till about seventy nine. I'm wondering maybe

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they copied me, because I used to say that all

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the time. We were talking about Williss, even when I

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was like five. I could be owed some money royalties

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And she said, my name is thought, not Willis, called

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me Auntie. I said, I don't know if I've really

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known you long enough to call you Auntie. How do

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I know you're really my auntie? You know you you

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just turn up out of the blue. I've met you

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a couple of times, submittedly, because you know, because there

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was that whole thing, you know, when we went around

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it was like I felt like I was in a

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zoo when we went to visit my dad, when he

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come and picked us up, took us back to where

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he lived with his wife and his wife's mum. They

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lived in her house, and all these people came along,

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00:17:57.839 --> 00:18:01.480
like and his uncles and aunts and people I've never

233
00:18:01.559 --> 00:18:09.039
seen before. Like I'm your uncle. Really, I'm your uncle

234
00:18:09.039 --> 00:18:17.880
as well. Really I'm your auntie really, like you know,

235
00:18:17.880 --> 00:18:22.039
it's like I'm your uncle. Oh okay, and I'm also

236
00:18:22.160 --> 00:18:29.319
your auntie. Really I'm your cousin. Huh. Like like ten cousins,

237
00:18:30.160 --> 00:18:34.680
five uncles and aunts, ten cousins, nanny and granddad and

238
00:18:34.720 --> 00:18:40.559
another nanny. Like suit away too many people. So I

239
00:18:40.599 --> 00:18:46.880
didn't remember her. But that weekend was one of the

240
00:18:46.920 --> 00:18:50.279
best weekends ever. So she picked us up, took us

241
00:18:50.319 --> 00:18:56.480
to London. London's not far from South End. It seemed

242
00:18:56.519 --> 00:18:59.000
a long way when you were a little kid to

243
00:18:59.079 --> 00:19:01.039
be I don't even know if we was in a car.

244
00:19:01.200 --> 00:19:04.000
She might just might have gone on a train because

245
00:19:04.000 --> 00:19:08.480
there was a train directly to Liverpool Street from South End, Victoria.

246
00:19:10.759 --> 00:19:15.680
I made the journey many times as an adult. Yeah,

247
00:19:15.720 --> 00:19:21.160
I used to used to visit South End. South End

248
00:19:21.240 --> 00:19:23.000
used to be a place that I would go to

249
00:19:24.279 --> 00:19:29.200
when I fenceed a day out, like a kind of

250
00:19:30.920 --> 00:19:37.839
I think I took. Yeah, I took two different girlfriends there,

251
00:19:38.160 --> 00:19:42.319
or I went on two different dates maybe more to

252
00:19:42.400 --> 00:19:46.839
South End when I was living in London, and just like,

253
00:19:47.000 --> 00:19:48.960
let's go for a walk. Let's let's go for a walk.

254
00:19:49.039 --> 00:19:52.440
Let's go to South End, get on a train. It's

255
00:19:52.480 --> 00:19:55.680
like forty five minutes or whatever on a train, maybe

256
00:19:55.680 --> 00:19:59.559
an hour, I don't know, and then would be there

257
00:20:00.440 --> 00:20:02.720
South End Beach, have a nice walk and go on

258
00:20:02.799 --> 00:20:06.359
to the pier. That's a that's a journey in itself,

259
00:20:06.519 --> 00:20:11.400
just to walk along the pier. Candy floss, fish and chips,

260
00:20:13.359 --> 00:20:15.200
maybe not candy flop, well I suppose they did have

261
00:20:15.279 --> 00:20:24.039
candy floss, ice creams. Just what anything you want really is,

262
00:20:24.039 --> 00:20:29.000
just like anywhere else. And it was a nice day out.

263
00:20:29.319 --> 00:20:34.680
It wasn't far away, but it was totally different from

264
00:20:34.680 --> 00:20:39.079
being in London, you know, being near the sea. I mean,

265
00:20:39.119 --> 00:20:42.039
South End is not the nearest Sea. If you're in London,

266
00:20:42.720 --> 00:20:48.519
I think there's closer sea. I think Harriage is closer.

267
00:20:48.680 --> 00:20:52.799
I'm not sure, but you've got bill a Ricky. I

268
00:20:52.839 --> 00:20:55.319
don't know if that's the Isle of Dogs. I suppose

269
00:20:55.400 --> 00:21:00.279
there's a sea there. Maybe. I wonder whether as a

270
00:21:00.440 --> 00:21:06.720
sea when you've got the Thames which leads to the sea.

271
00:21:10.400 --> 00:21:22.119
Mm hmmm from me, Yeah, I don't know. So we Yeah,

272
00:21:22.319 --> 00:21:24.759
the South End, that's where I used to go, but

273
00:21:27.680 --> 00:21:30.720
to this day in London, it was lovely, lovely, lovely,

274
00:21:32.000 --> 00:21:40.720
she remembered. Went to South End with a Spanish female

275
00:21:41.119 --> 00:21:48.480
that I met. Was it uh Strafford? Strafford train station?

276
00:21:50.359 --> 00:21:53.880
I saw her and I thought I'd like to talk

277
00:21:53.880 --> 00:21:55.880
to her, so I went up to her. I just say,

278
00:21:55.920 --> 00:22:00.359
excuse me, sorry, could you tell me? He did tell me,

279
00:22:01.759 --> 00:22:03.079
and I asked you a question that I knew the

280
00:22:03.119 --> 00:22:07.759
answer to because I just wanted to talk to her,

281
00:22:07.880 --> 00:22:11.519
and I ended up she gave me a telephone number,

282
00:22:11.559 --> 00:22:13.759
a name, and her address. She wrote it down on

283
00:22:13.759 --> 00:22:17.000
the pieces of paper or did you have it already

284
00:22:17.000 --> 00:22:24.240
written down? Was it just randomly giving it out to men? Possibly? Anyway,

285
00:22:24.480 --> 00:22:26.640
So we went out. We talked on the phone a

286
00:22:26.720 --> 00:22:32.440
few days in a row, and then I kind of

287
00:22:32.440 --> 00:22:34.640
fell for her. Really she was just I just like

288
00:22:34.720 --> 00:22:38.400
really liked her a lot. And we went out to

289
00:22:40.519 --> 00:22:45.039
South End for the day and there was a couple

290
00:22:45.079 --> 00:22:47.680
of Because you know when you're when you were abroad,

291
00:22:48.400 --> 00:22:52.119
you can hear your own language being spoken knya, Like,

292
00:22:52.720 --> 00:22:55.880
it's just one of those things. I remember when I

293
00:22:55.920 --> 00:23:01.319
was in Belgium. There was we were walking down the

294
00:23:01.519 --> 00:23:05.640
street in Belgium and I was with like three or

295
00:23:05.680 --> 00:23:08.440
four people from work. This is when I was about eighteen,

296
00:23:10.279 --> 00:23:14.960
and we were walking down this busy road and suddenly

297
00:23:15.000 --> 00:23:22.839
one of my work colleagues shouted out English, you're English

298
00:23:23.640 --> 00:23:26.519
over this crowd and the other there was another little

299
00:23:26.640 --> 00:23:32.559
group of men and English. Your English got so excited

300
00:23:32.880 --> 00:23:39.079
to meet another English but speaking person. I mean we'd

301
00:23:39.160 --> 00:23:42.720
only been there for about ten minutes. How much can

302
00:23:42.759 --> 00:23:45.880
you miss the fact that it was with four other

303
00:23:45.920 --> 00:23:50.359
people that also spoke English. Why would he miss being

304
00:23:50.400 --> 00:23:57.039
around English speaking people so much? I didn't understand it.

305
00:23:58.319 --> 00:24:00.759
I think couldn't really get it. But it was because

306
00:24:00.759 --> 00:24:04.400
they were jumping up and down, hugging each other. It

307
00:24:04.519 --> 00:24:09.880
was very erotic. It was it was kind of strange

308
00:24:12.440 --> 00:24:17.720
so anyway, I was, Yeah, we were walking me in

309
00:24:17.759 --> 00:24:25.519
this what was her name, Martyr Moditor, Moditor. We're walking

310
00:24:25.640 --> 00:24:34.799
down the Yeah, we walked on the pier and suddenly

311
00:24:35.279 --> 00:24:42.839
she noticed a couple of Spanish men and they noticed

312
00:24:42.880 --> 00:24:49.039
her and they started talking in I couldn't really understand

313
00:24:49.079 --> 00:24:50.839
what they were saying in some kind of language, different

314
00:24:50.880 --> 00:24:57.720
language to English. And even though it's in a different language,

315
00:24:59.039 --> 00:25:01.839
I can I could. I knew what they were saying.

316
00:25:02.880 --> 00:25:06.599
It was weird. And I asked her and she told me,

317
00:25:06.799 --> 00:25:11.519
she said, yeah, I was right. So what I could

318
00:25:11.559 --> 00:25:15.160
see and there was you know, they were not speaking English.

319
00:25:15.519 --> 00:25:20.720
They were basically mocking me. And they said, I was

320
00:25:20.720 --> 00:25:28.880
at your boyfriend and she said no, but it wasn't no,

321
00:25:28.880 --> 00:25:32.119
no like that. Yeah, bearing in mind that we kind

322
00:25:32.119 --> 00:25:39.240
of were dating ish kind of, and I knew, even

323
00:25:39.279 --> 00:25:45.119
in another language, it's the same energy, it's the same looks,

324
00:25:45.240 --> 00:25:51.240
it's the same it was the same tone of voice.

325
00:25:51.640 --> 00:26:02.200
And yeah, it was a bit awkward after that. Yeah,

326
00:26:02.319 --> 00:26:04.039
I've don't know if that was before or after I

327
00:26:04.160 --> 00:26:08.160
visited her at her home, because she invited me around. Yeah,

328
00:26:08.160 --> 00:26:10.519
I think it was it was before she vibd me

329
00:26:10.559 --> 00:26:15.119
around to her place because she was a nanny or

330
00:26:15.759 --> 00:26:20.240
her all pair air pair she hadn't No, she was

331
00:26:20.240 --> 00:26:25.119
an no pair and she was nineteen. I was what

332
00:26:25.240 --> 00:26:32.039
twenty three? And she had dark where she's Spanish and

333
00:26:32.319 --> 00:26:36.759
she had dark hair and brown eyes. But I'm guessing

334
00:26:37.960 --> 00:26:40.680
the majority of people in Spain have probably got dark

335
00:26:40.720 --> 00:26:44.319
hair and brown eyes, because that's the Spanish look, isn't it.

336
00:26:46.200 --> 00:26:47.680
Did you know that most people in the world have

337
00:26:47.720 --> 00:26:53.599
got brown eyes. Blue eyes is an anomaly? Did you

338
00:26:53.640 --> 00:26:57.319
know that? I just thought that blue eyes because I

339
00:26:57.359 --> 00:27:00.920
got blue eyes. I just thought it's just most people

340
00:27:00.960 --> 00:27:05.039
with have blue eyes, but they haven't apparent. Apparently not

341
00:27:05.160 --> 00:27:14.880
everyone looks like me. I don't understand. So she's yeah.

342
00:27:14.960 --> 00:27:18.960
I really liked her. I really fancied her, but I

343
00:27:19.000 --> 00:27:21.000
really liked her. I did get on really I got

344
00:27:21.039 --> 00:27:23.839
on well with her on the phone, even though there

345
00:27:23.960 --> 00:27:30.799
was communication in English was really good, but my Spanish

346
00:27:30.960 --> 00:27:41.920
was zero. She taught me a few words see signor

347
00:27:46.000 --> 00:28:00.440
a cappella. I think that's Spanish, isn't it? Was it? Yeah? Yeah, Elle.

348
00:28:00.519 --> 00:28:03.200
If you say L before you any sentence, I think

349
00:28:03.200 --> 00:28:11.720
that helps L Hello, no, not l honcho? No Hello?

350
00:28:11.920 --> 00:28:17.359
What's the oh? I know the word for hello in Spain.

351
00:28:17.640 --> 00:28:29.200
Hello, Hello, Hello Madora.

352
00:28:30.240 --> 00:28:36.160
He I don't know. I've never been great with languages

353
00:28:37.480 --> 00:28:42.279
I did I need. I learned a few words in Thai.

354
00:28:42.680 --> 00:28:50.559
I learned a few words in Bulgaria, but that was

355
00:28:50.680 --> 00:28:56.880
just because I was talking to females at the time

356
00:28:56.960 --> 00:29:01.880
that I wanted to. I guess community I found at

357
00:29:01.960 --> 00:29:06.720
very early age. Probably it was probably with the Spanish

358
00:29:06.839 --> 00:29:15.920
lady that sometimes having a different language can be useful

359
00:29:18.960 --> 00:29:23.640
for communication or useful for like the beginning of a relationship,

360
00:29:23.680 --> 00:29:29.359
because learning each other's words. And I also figured out,

361
00:29:29.440 --> 00:29:31.599
after years and years and years, the reason I got

362
00:29:31.599 --> 00:29:34.559
on so well with foreign women is because it took

363
00:29:34.599 --> 00:29:39.799
them longer to realize what I was really like. They

364
00:29:39.839 --> 00:29:42.359
thought I was nice for much longer than people that

365
00:29:42.440 --> 00:29:45.519
have met me that knew what I was saying. Once

366
00:29:45.519 --> 00:29:47.839
I realized what I was saying, they didn't necessarily like

367
00:29:47.920 --> 00:29:57.400
me so much. I'm joking kind of. I did upset

368
00:29:57.519 --> 00:30:02.359
someone in Thailand, a waitress, didn't mean to, genuinely did

369
00:30:02.400 --> 00:30:07.680
not mean to. It turned out I was trying to

370
00:30:07.720 --> 00:30:13.440
communicate with her well, she was trying to communicate with me,

371
00:30:15.680 --> 00:30:20.400
and I was getting it wrong. So there was all

372
00:30:20.440 --> 00:30:26.039
these posters around for this, like some kind of swim

373
00:30:26.119 --> 00:30:34.839
where a bikini beauty contest, a bikini pageant. There was

374
00:30:34.880 --> 00:30:36.720
posters all over this place. It was just a bar.

375
00:30:36.920 --> 00:30:42.880
It was like a normal bar restaurant, so Hooters, but

376
00:30:43.000 --> 00:30:45.319
it was still you know, they have food and stuff

377
00:30:46.279 --> 00:30:50.200
and I like it. I've never been I've never been

378
00:30:50.200 --> 00:30:53.119
into I like American bars, and that was just like

379
00:30:53.160 --> 00:31:01.000
an opportunity to go there every day. And there wasn't

380
00:31:01.039 --> 00:31:05.240
anything weird. It's just a normal you know. It was

381
00:31:05.359 --> 00:31:07.720
a family place you could take your kids and stuff.

382
00:31:08.519 --> 00:31:12.480
I didn't have any kids to take, but if I had,

383
00:31:12.599 --> 00:31:16.559
I wouldn't wouldn't. Yeah, I mean, it's not holidays it

384
00:31:16.559 --> 00:31:21.680
if you've got kids with you. How is that a holiday?

385
00:31:22.519 --> 00:31:25.759
A holiday is when the kids are the other side

386
00:31:25.759 --> 00:31:29.160
of the world. Surely maybe not. Maybe I got it wrong.

387
00:31:32.440 --> 00:31:36.559
I know someone that said, if the idea of that,

388
00:31:36.880 --> 00:31:40.799
it's not a decent holiday, if it's not a proper holiday,

389
00:31:40.839 --> 00:31:46.279
if when you get home, it's only a proper holiday

390
00:31:48.440 --> 00:31:50.839
if you get home and you need a holiday. So

391
00:31:50.920 --> 00:31:54.839
if you completely exhaust yourself, then it's a proper holiday.

392
00:31:54.880 --> 00:31:59.039
You've had. It's like No, that's the opposite to what

393
00:31:59.200 --> 00:32:02.119
I'm thinking of, you know, because you like to go

394
00:32:02.279 --> 00:32:13.079
skiing and windsurfing and probably mounting climbing and pothole in

395
00:32:13.279 --> 00:32:24.039
and deep sea dive in, swimming with sharks, you know,

396
00:32:25.559 --> 00:32:28.880
all the things that I wouldn't want to do. And

397
00:32:28.920 --> 00:32:31.319
it's got nothing to do with lack of fitness, because

398
00:32:31.359 --> 00:32:32.759
you know, I'm not as fit as I used to be.

399
00:32:35.039 --> 00:32:40.559
It's I don't think. I think my mounting mountain climbing

400
00:32:40.640 --> 00:32:45.119
days are possibly behind me, but they were never in

401
00:32:45.160 --> 00:32:48.759
front of me either. I've never wanted to jump out

402
00:32:48.759 --> 00:32:51.160
of a plane. I've never wanted to go down a

403
00:32:51.160 --> 00:32:55.599
pothole and start Not a pothole, is it potholding. I

404
00:32:55.599 --> 00:32:58.440
didn't want to go down like find a crack in

405
00:32:58.559 --> 00:33:04.079
the earth and let's see where this leads. No, no,

406
00:33:05.240 --> 00:33:08.680
it's like, no, that's just I'm not not not interested

407
00:33:08.680 --> 00:33:13.480
in that. You know, Oh, let's go down to the

408
00:33:13.519 --> 00:33:19.079
bottom of the ocean. No, No, I never I never

409
00:33:19.119 --> 00:33:24.119
wanted to do that. That's that's a that's a deal breaker.

410
00:33:25.559 --> 00:33:29.240
I used to be in love with this, this female

411
00:33:29.279 --> 00:33:36.240
that really really really liked her a lot. She didn't

412
00:33:36.240 --> 00:33:38.480
really know I existed but she I really liked her,

413
00:33:40.160 --> 00:33:42.880
and I got talking to her. I finally got managed

414
00:33:42.880 --> 00:33:47.839
to build up the courage to say alone. And this

415
00:33:47.920 --> 00:33:49.799
is when I was a prison guard in a women's prison.

416
00:33:50.480 --> 00:33:56.720
So eventually, you know, this is so I don't know,

417
00:33:56.759 --> 00:33:58.839
I got talking. I think it was like, what you're doing?

418
00:34:00.000 --> 00:34:01.799
You're right? She said, Oh, I think I said to

419
00:34:01.799 --> 00:34:06.400
see you next week. Hold on the holiday next week? Okay. Normally,

420
00:34:06.599 --> 00:34:09.920
if someone told me they're on holiday next week, I I, ah,

421
00:34:10.599 --> 00:34:14.840
why are you telling me? What use is that information?

422
00:34:15.039 --> 00:34:17.440
How am I gonna How is that going to benefit me?

423
00:34:17.519 --> 00:34:20.119
Knowing you're on holiday next week? Which could be a

424
00:34:20.159 --> 00:34:23.599
bit attitudinal. I've gotta work on that. Maybe when I

425
00:34:23.639 --> 00:34:25.920
was younger, that is, you know, that's when I was

426
00:34:25.960 --> 00:34:30.400
like five or six stinking thinking I did. I was

427
00:34:30.440 --> 00:34:40.280
five or six, just like, yeah, Christmas, look Jason, look

428
00:34:40.320 --> 00:34:44.360
where your brother's bought me for Christmas. It's a it's

429
00:34:44.599 --> 00:34:48.159
uh like I never heard the end of the rest

430
00:34:48.159 --> 00:34:51.000
of it because I switched off. It's like, what do

431
00:34:51.079 --> 00:34:55.440
I care what is brought for you for Christmas? I

432
00:34:55.480 --> 00:34:57.360
don't even care what I bought you. I don't care

433
00:34:57.360 --> 00:34:59.719
about what I bought you for Christmas. I'm only interesting

434
00:34:59.760 --> 00:35:05.320
what I get for Christmas. Christmas is about receiving, not giving,

435
00:35:07.159 --> 00:35:12.280
And any kid that says the opposite is lying. It's

436
00:35:12.280 --> 00:35:18.239
about receiving presents. How many kids do you think go

437
00:35:18.320 --> 00:35:22.519
to sleep Christmas Eve and they can't get like mom,

438
00:35:22.800 --> 00:35:25.119
I can't get to sleep, I can't get to sleep,

439
00:35:25.159 --> 00:35:28.519
and their parents going, what is it? Little JJ, I

440
00:35:28.559 --> 00:35:31.719
can't get to sleep? Daddy and mama, Dad and mama?

441
00:35:32.320 --> 00:35:35.000
Why is it? Why can't you get to sleep? Is

442
00:35:35.039 --> 00:35:37.599
it because Father Christmas? And yeah? Is it because of

443
00:35:37.679 --> 00:35:41.840
Christmas morning tomorrow? Yeah? He said, Well, what is it

444
00:35:41.880 --> 00:35:45.599
that's keeping you awake? He said, I just can't. I can't.

445
00:35:45.960 --> 00:35:49.960
I can't sleep because I'm so worried and excited about

446
00:35:50.280 --> 00:35:52.519
whether or not you'll like the presence I bought you

447
00:35:52.880 --> 00:36:00.199
for Christmas. That conversation has never happened, not once. I

448
00:36:00.280 --> 00:36:04.000
guarantee you that. But I'm just, I just I just

449
00:36:04.000 --> 00:36:09.360
want you to be happy, like any kid cares. What

450
00:36:09.440 --> 00:36:12.320
they want is to be happy. My right my big

451
00:36:12.360 --> 00:36:16.199
tom or right foot just seized up. Thankfully, I don't

452
00:36:16.239 --> 00:36:19.559
need to use it very often, so it's okay. Oh

453
00:36:19.639 --> 00:36:25.119
that was weird. I stretched it doesn't normally get any stretching.

454
00:36:26.400 --> 00:36:28.480
I'm only joking, by the way, when they'd say things,

455
00:36:30.519 --> 00:36:37.519
it wasn't really did really like get stiff. I got

456
00:36:38.360 --> 00:36:41.360
one of my legs seizes up sometimes the calf muscle,

457
00:36:42.239 --> 00:36:46.880
and it changes my mood. I I was on a

458
00:36:46.960 --> 00:36:50.880
date with someone and I was in here and it

459
00:36:50.920 --> 00:36:55.159
was going quite well. Well, she hadn't left, so I

460
00:36:55.159 --> 00:37:02.559
always take that as a positive sign. And I've been

461
00:37:02.639 --> 00:37:05.440
sitting down. So I just stood up and stretched my legs.

462
00:37:05.480 --> 00:37:07.239
I just I don't know, you know, we kind of

463
00:37:07.599 --> 00:37:13.760
probably got onto my toes and my left calf cremped up,

464
00:37:15.840 --> 00:37:20.199
and she was like, are you okay? Like gonfery. I

465
00:37:20.239 --> 00:37:25.119
wasn't quite that bad, but it was like, oh, that

466
00:37:25.519 --> 00:37:30.679
was not pleasant. She said, draw into message and said no,

467
00:37:31.719 --> 00:37:34.760
and she did. I said, oh, okay, so that helped.

468
00:37:35.840 --> 00:37:39.239
She says that bet I said yeah, and I said,

469
00:37:39.239 --> 00:37:42.360
I've got to go and get something like, ohh, I've

470
00:37:42.360 --> 00:37:46.199
cramped up again. What your calf are going? No, it's

471
00:37:46.239 --> 00:37:55.119
me grhyin No, I made that up. So the pigeons,

472
00:37:55.760 --> 00:37:58.000
I just like the pigeons. What's this got to do

473
00:37:58.039 --> 00:38:06.119
for biscuits? I've got to talk biscuits. But I can't

474
00:38:06.280 --> 00:38:11.239
even remember where I was going with that. I don't

475
00:38:11.280 --> 00:38:18.360
know if I was going anywhere, really, but I remember her.

476
00:38:18.440 --> 00:38:27.480
She was nice. I was what ninety four time? She

477
00:38:27.639 --> 00:38:34.039
was so lovely. I forgot I had a girlfriend. No,

478
00:38:34.760 --> 00:38:46.360
I didn't forget, so I I yeah, biscuits. These biscuits

479
00:38:46.360 --> 00:38:49.159
at my nan had. They were lovely and I'd have

480
00:38:49.239 --> 00:38:52.440
them every single time I visited her. I can't remember

481
00:38:52.440 --> 00:38:55.159
the name of them, but they're really nice. They're nice

482
00:38:55.239 --> 00:38:59.440
with all without tea. I mean, you can dip them

483
00:39:00.519 --> 00:39:06.360
or not dip them. Never double dip. One dips enough

484
00:39:07.840 --> 00:39:14.159
otherwise it would break. And I don't know what it

485
00:39:14.199 --> 00:39:17.920
is once once a biscuit's broken into the tea, I

486
00:39:17.960 --> 00:39:22.039
mean some some do float on the top, but some don't.

487
00:39:22.119 --> 00:39:25.920
Some will just sink down to the bottom. And it's

488
00:39:25.920 --> 00:39:31.480
almost I feel like the tea is contaminated. I don't

489
00:39:31.480 --> 00:39:37.440
want to drink the tea anymore unless I get spoon

490
00:39:37.480 --> 00:39:41.119
and I get the biscuit out. But the weird thing

491
00:39:41.119 --> 00:39:43.519
about it, even though I feel like the tea is contaminated,

492
00:39:43.800 --> 00:39:45.880
I don't want to drink the tea when you get

493
00:39:45.880 --> 00:39:48.119
the biscuit out of spoon. I want to eat the biscuit.

494
00:39:48.920 --> 00:39:52.760
It's weird, isn't it. It's like I don't want to

495
00:39:52.840 --> 00:39:56.480
drink that water from that from that river because it's

496
00:39:57.039 --> 00:39:59.760
waste at the bottom, and then getting the waste out

497
00:39:59.760 --> 00:40:09.159
and just munching on it. No, weird, weird. Other biscuits.

498
00:40:09.360 --> 00:40:13.800
I think my favorite biscuits are probably plain old digestives

499
00:40:15.920 --> 00:40:25.840
Mcvitti's digestives and I like rich tea as well. They're

500
00:40:25.880 --> 00:40:29.239
the two best biscuits for dipping into tea. I think,

501
00:40:30.440 --> 00:40:37.239
in my opinion, the thing is you've got to really,

502
00:40:37.599 --> 00:40:40.079
I mean, that's why we're trained in I don't know.

503
00:40:40.199 --> 00:40:42.000
If you're not in England, you might not know this,

504
00:40:42.119 --> 00:40:46.519
but in England we actually have classes at school for

505
00:40:47.119 --> 00:40:52.320
biscuit dipping and it's called biscuit dipping. That's just the class.

506
00:40:52.360 --> 00:40:56.119
It's called biscuit dipping. What you're doing? Where you've got

507
00:40:56.119 --> 00:41:00.880
to go? I've got maths? Oh where are you biscuit? Okay,

508
00:41:01.239 --> 00:41:04.800
just give you an example, and you might think you

509
00:41:04.880 --> 00:41:06.000
might be in a country and so what do you

510
00:41:06.079 --> 00:41:10.119
mean meths? Don't you need math? No maths, that's the

511
00:41:10.159 --> 00:41:17.639
correct way. It's not mathematic it's mathematics. Maths is short

512
00:41:17.679 --> 00:41:24.719
for mathematics, not mathematic. There's no such thing as mathematic

513
00:41:24.880 --> 00:41:29.119
it's mathematics. I'm just you know, it's all about helping,

514
00:41:29.199 --> 00:41:36.960
isn't it. And so we have these classes at schools

515
00:41:37.119 --> 00:41:40.960
in every year right away from like infant school all

516
00:41:41.000 --> 00:41:43.880
the way up to high school. By the time you

517
00:41:43.920 --> 00:41:46.960
get to leave school at like sixteen maybe eighteen, dependent

518
00:41:47.000 --> 00:41:51.840
on when you leave, you almost become a master of

519
00:41:51.960 --> 00:41:56.480
biscuit dipping. It's not just tea. You have to learn coffee.

520
00:41:56.920 --> 00:41:59.880
The problem of coffee is it tends to hold the

521
00:42:00.079 --> 00:42:04.519
heat a little bit longer unless you put lots of

522
00:42:04.559 --> 00:42:09.199
milk in. Tea tends to calm down. We become experts

523
00:42:09.280 --> 00:42:12.840
on tea and coffee as well, the temperatures, how to

524
00:42:12.880 --> 00:42:16.840
make a cup of tea. See, the problem is, though,

525
00:42:18.440 --> 00:42:21.320
there's a little bit. It's become a little bit like

526
00:42:21.320 --> 00:42:27.920
a religion tea making in this country. So you know,

527
00:42:27.960 --> 00:42:34.320
you've got kind of the Catholics, the Protestants, different Anglo

528
00:42:34.599 --> 00:42:39.760
Anglican churches and different kinds of Christianity ish stuff. It's

529
00:42:39.800 --> 00:42:44.920
a little bit like that with tea making. So there's

530
00:42:44.960 --> 00:42:52.719
people that put the milk in before the water, before

531
00:42:52.760 --> 00:42:57.239
the hot water, and those people put the milk in

532
00:42:57.440 --> 00:43:02.159
after the hot water. So it's very much a controversial thing.

533
00:43:02.880 --> 00:43:05.119
Once the year, people have gone on rallies so they

534
00:43:06.039 --> 00:43:09.000
they will dress up as biscuits. It's just very, very

535
00:43:09.239 --> 00:43:16.039
very strange, and for some reason they decided to take

536
00:43:16.119 --> 00:43:19.559
the rich tea and digestive. They're kind of taking those

537
00:43:19.599 --> 00:43:25.800
two even though it's not really about biscuits, not really,

538
00:43:27.199 --> 00:43:30.519
but you know, they've kind of taken on because milk

539
00:43:30.639 --> 00:43:34.360
they have the white like the the what's it called

540
00:43:34.480 --> 00:43:38.400
the rich tea because they're kind of much paler than

541
00:43:38.440 --> 00:43:43.159
a digestive biscuit. So they're the ones that light the

542
00:43:43.239 --> 00:43:47.840
milk in first. Digestives are now classes the ones that

543
00:43:47.920 --> 00:43:51.880
light the milk in afterwards. So I'm a digestive because

544
00:43:52.679 --> 00:43:55.960
you know, you put the water in for me. They

545
00:43:55.960 --> 00:43:58.800
put the water in with a tea bag and then

546
00:43:58.960 --> 00:44:06.960
add the milk. So it's just some people. Do you

547
00:44:07.000 --> 00:44:09.880
know you can't put the milk in first because the

548
00:44:09.920 --> 00:44:13.599
hot water school is the milk. I've never heard milk

549
00:44:13.679 --> 00:44:19.639
scream once. Oh stop stop, it's never, so I don't

550
00:44:19.639 --> 00:44:23.239
know where they come up with that stuff. I don't

551
00:44:23.239 --> 00:44:25.880
even know would people even notice if you did a

552
00:44:25.920 --> 00:44:29.000
blind test and you gave someone a cup of tea,

553
00:44:30.280 --> 00:44:32.519
because I've made cups of two people and I've never

554
00:44:32.559 --> 00:44:35.400
once had them say, wait a minute, did you put

555
00:44:35.400 --> 00:44:41.960
the milk in first or the opposite? You know, Plus,

556
00:44:42.000 --> 00:44:45.480
I like to do whatever they I like to do

557
00:44:45.559 --> 00:44:47.679
the opposite to what people say. When I was younger,

558
00:44:47.679 --> 00:44:52.480
not now, but when I was younger, so someone said, oh,

559
00:44:52.920 --> 00:44:55.159
make sure you put the milk in before the tea

560
00:44:55.199 --> 00:44:57.760
bag and the hot water. I would do the opposite,

561
00:44:57.800 --> 00:45:03.440
and they never knew they could tell the difference, so

562
00:45:03.559 --> 00:45:07.039
I just there was one time, though I did it,

563
00:45:07.599 --> 00:45:09.840
I gave them the wrong cup, so I ended up

564
00:45:09.840 --> 00:45:11.920
with the one with the milk in before the tea bag.

565
00:45:12.039 --> 00:45:17.760
It was disgusting. I was so angry, and I didn't

566
00:45:17.800 --> 00:45:22.760
know the time, but once I realized it tasted the

567
00:45:22.800 --> 00:45:26.039
same at the time, but once I realized it tasted horrible,

568
00:45:26.679 --> 00:45:37.440
it was a week later. Dear Jason, these are boring mondays.

569
00:45:39.400 --> 00:45:42.000
I used to like them because you'd focus on a subject,

570
00:45:43.119 --> 00:45:45.000
but it seemed to have lost your way a little bit.

571
00:45:46.920 --> 00:45:50.800
The recent one where you talked about biscuits and scorched

572
00:45:50.800 --> 00:46:05.639
milk and a Spanish girlfriend and teammaking classes. Biscuit dip in.

573
00:46:06.440 --> 00:46:12.320
It's just just GoF gone in a weird direction. Please,

574
00:46:12.360 --> 00:46:18.440
can you talk about tires next week? It's okay, I

575
00:46:18.440 --> 00:46:27.559
don't know. I'm still not an expert, though a biscuit

576
00:46:27.679 --> 00:46:35.320
dip in occasionally if I'm distracted. Okay, So let's remember

577
00:46:35.360 --> 00:46:44.159
there was, Yeah, I had this part time job. No

578
00:46:44.360 --> 00:46:48.519
I was. I was in a bank and I was

579
00:46:50.679 --> 00:46:52.599
I think I was trying to get a loan or something,

580
00:46:52.639 --> 00:46:55.880
and they gave me a cup of tea and a biscuit.

581
00:46:55.920 --> 00:46:58.280
I couldn't believe it was this is good. So I'm

582
00:46:58.320 --> 00:47:02.719
there at one of those tables opposite the bank. Wasn't

583
00:47:02.719 --> 00:47:04.840
the bank manager, but someone that worked in the bank,

584
00:47:05.039 --> 00:47:07.239
and then there was the big counter over the other side,

585
00:47:07.280 --> 00:47:10.599
and there's a few other tables dotted around. So I'm

586
00:47:10.599 --> 00:47:16.519
just having a cup of tea and the bank gets robbed.

587
00:47:16.639 --> 00:47:19.079
So these bank robbers come in and shouting and stuff.

588
00:47:22.000 --> 00:47:26.159
So that distracted me because I was trying to dip

589
00:47:26.239 --> 00:47:29.079
my biscuit in, but I left it in too far,

590
00:47:29.320 --> 00:47:35.679
too too long, and it broke, and that nearly ruined

591
00:47:35.679 --> 00:47:42.599
my day. And all I remember is them shouting, get

592
00:47:42.599 --> 00:47:44.960
down on the floor, get down on the floor, don't

593
00:47:45.000 --> 00:47:50.679
look at us, don't stop, stop dunking your biscuit and

594
00:47:50.719 --> 00:47:56.239
your tea. I was like, what else am I supposed

595
00:47:56.280 --> 00:48:02.639
to do? Because as an English person, there's there's a

596
00:48:02.719 --> 00:48:10.559
saying in England once you start dipping that that's it.

597
00:48:10.960 --> 00:48:14.559
So once you start to dip a biscuit in your tea,

598
00:48:16.079 --> 00:48:20.480
that's what you're going to do, because the whole process

599
00:48:20.559 --> 00:48:26.559
starts with the thought of dipping the biscuit in the

600
00:48:26.599 --> 00:48:30.400
cup of tea. It's not just like we don't do

601
00:48:30.519 --> 00:48:34.920
it any old now, you know, especially if you've been

602
00:48:35.000 --> 00:48:38.840
trained from the age of two how to dip biscuits

603
00:48:38.880 --> 00:48:41.239
in tea, because you've been trained at school like we are.

604
00:48:42.400 --> 00:48:46.760
And by the way, if you ever get into if

605
00:48:46.760 --> 00:48:48.400
you ever want, if you're in another country and you

606
00:48:48.480 --> 00:48:54.320
want to show off your knowledge of other countries, this

607
00:48:54.400 --> 00:48:57.760
is something you could tell people. They'll be they'll be

608
00:48:57.840 --> 00:49:05.800
fascinated and impressed. Probably in fact, they may if it's

609
00:49:05.840 --> 00:49:07.920
a crowd of people that may actually lift you above

610
00:49:07.960 --> 00:49:12.159
their shoulders and parade you around the streets, singing your

611
00:49:12.239 --> 00:49:20.880
name loudly. So it's possible. Anything's possible, I suppose. And

612
00:49:23.559 --> 00:49:27.159
once you have the idea, I'm going to I want

613
00:49:27.199 --> 00:49:31.159
to dip a biscuit in the tea. And it wasn't

614
00:49:31.199 --> 00:49:33.079
there to start with, but you know, I had the

615
00:49:33.119 --> 00:49:36.719
cup of tea and I thought I wish I had

616
00:49:36.760 --> 00:49:41.800
some biscuits. That's another thing. Normally English people carry around

617
00:49:41.880 --> 00:49:46.679
biscuits and we keep them in our socks before we

618
00:49:46.719 --> 00:49:50.280
say oh, that's grim. No, they're in a packet. You

619
00:49:50.320 --> 00:49:55.079
know they're not. You know, it's not the whole big, massive,

620
00:49:55.239 --> 00:50:00.840
long packet of biscuits. These are smaller packets, so you

621
00:50:00.960 --> 00:50:06.440
might get maybe three biscuits or two biscuits maybe, so

622
00:50:06.480 --> 00:50:13.960
they fit inside the socks quite easily. And so generally

623
00:50:15.119 --> 00:50:17.960
every english Person would have at least one packet of

624
00:50:18.000 --> 00:50:22.320
biscuits in their socks. Now depends how long you're going

625
00:50:22.400 --> 00:50:25.760
to be out for. If you just if you're just

626
00:50:25.800 --> 00:50:32.159
popping around a neighbor's house, then you just like one

627
00:50:32.440 --> 00:50:35.800
one packet of one packet of biscuits and your socks

628
00:50:35.840 --> 00:50:45.599
is normally enough. And it depends because generally if you

629
00:50:45.679 --> 00:50:49.159
go around a neighbor's house, they the rule is in

630
00:50:49.199 --> 00:50:52.679
this country, if you visit a neighbor or friend or family,

631
00:50:52.679 --> 00:50:57.760
whoever it is, the visitor gets well, okay, the host,

632
00:50:57.840 --> 00:51:00.639
that say, the person who owns the place. The visitor

633
00:51:01.079 --> 00:51:05.920
gets given biscuits and gets to choose what biscuits they want.

634
00:51:07.440 --> 00:51:10.760
So this is an English thing. This is just this happens.

635
00:51:10.760 --> 00:51:18.079
Haven't here for centuries, I think, and so basically what happens,

636
00:51:18.119 --> 00:51:21.000
just in case you didn't know this in every English

637
00:51:21.039 --> 00:51:26.519
home there is if you go into the front door,

638
00:51:27.719 --> 00:51:33.360
every English home has a room full of biscuits, every

639
00:51:33.400 --> 00:51:38.559
single type of biscuits. And you could say, well, not

640
00:51:38.599 --> 00:51:42.760
all biscuits can be dunked. They can, if that's a thing.

641
00:51:43.360 --> 00:51:48.039
If you're not trained like we are, you might struggle

642
00:51:48.440 --> 00:51:53.880
to dip a soggy biscuit into a tea. It might

643
00:51:53.920 --> 00:51:57.800
not work for you. But even something like a jaffa cake,

644
00:51:58.599 --> 00:52:02.599
there's an art to doing a jaffa cake and not

645
00:52:02.719 --> 00:52:08.559
leaving any chocolate in tea. Or you can do it

646
00:52:08.599 --> 00:52:10.920
where you just leave a little love heart on the

647
00:52:10.920 --> 00:52:16.320
top of the tee. See's there's so much art connected

648
00:52:16.360 --> 00:52:21.400
to this. It's it's hard to explain. I realized it's

649
00:52:21.679 --> 00:52:24.360
it might this might be new to you. You might

650
00:52:24.360 --> 00:52:29.480
not have known this about English people, but it's it's

651
00:52:29.559 --> 00:52:34.519
a I started to think about this, you know, because

652
00:52:34.559 --> 00:52:37.679
I might be the only English person you ever listened

653
00:52:37.719 --> 00:52:44.239
to as far as a podcast, or you may not

654
00:52:44.400 --> 00:52:49.159
know any English people and your English, your your knowledge

655
00:52:49.159 --> 00:52:54.440
of England might come from television or from movies. And

656
00:52:54.480 --> 00:52:57.880
of course some of that's true, you know, but things

657
00:52:58.039 --> 00:53:04.159
like downtown Abbey, it's that's not real. It's real, but

658
00:53:04.159 --> 00:53:06.360
I mean there are people that used to live like that,

659
00:53:06.440 --> 00:53:10.760
but it's not the general thing. What I'm telling you

660
00:53:10.880 --> 00:53:16.719
is what everybody does. So it's it's worth knowing that

661
00:53:16.800 --> 00:53:22.599
before you come here, and you can you can you

662
00:53:22.639 --> 00:53:28.440
can sound very very knowledgeable when you tell people about

663
00:53:28.480 --> 00:53:33.280
this stuff, when you tell your friends and family, maybe

664
00:53:33.360 --> 00:53:39.960
over Christmas dinner, like did you know that in England

665
00:53:41.599 --> 00:53:46.840
every home has a room specifically for biscuits? See, they

666
00:53:46.880 --> 00:53:51.239
wouldn't know that until you told them. So I guess

667
00:53:51.559 --> 00:53:53.639
maybe I can tell you some other stuff about England

668
00:53:53.719 --> 00:53:56.199
at another time. This is just going to be the

669
00:53:56.639 --> 00:53:59.760
first I did a weird no you hear that? This

670
00:53:59.840 --> 00:54:07.599
is so yeah, the little piggy in my throat so

671
00:54:11.000 --> 00:54:14.360
in the biscuit it's called the bikie room. Okay that

672
00:54:14.360 --> 00:54:17.239
I should tell you that we don't call them biscuits here.

673
00:54:17.280 --> 00:54:22.679
We call them bikies. It's genuine. It's like, it's just

674
00:54:22.760 --> 00:54:27.440
short for biscuits. Biki got time for cuppa cup of

675
00:54:27.480 --> 00:54:31.159
teas coppa got time for cuppa and a bikie. So

676
00:54:31.239 --> 00:54:33.920
that's two different things. Have you got time for copper?

677
00:54:36.559 --> 00:54:42.320
Sometimes that just means well, you used to have a

678
00:54:42.440 --> 00:54:46.920
quick cup of tea, drink it and leave. But if

679
00:54:46.920 --> 00:54:49.199
someone says that I have you've got time for a cuppa

680
00:54:49.599 --> 00:54:53.480
and a bikie, what that means is they like you

681
00:54:54.400 --> 00:54:56.239
and they'd like to spend more time with you and

682
00:54:56.280 --> 00:54:59.599
get to know you better. It's kind of like an

683
00:54:59.679 --> 00:55:03.760
English chat up date, a chat up line in a way,

684
00:55:04.000 --> 00:55:12.880
but it's very subtle. So if you're it happens quite

685
00:55:13.039 --> 00:55:14.920
you know, if you literally someone says to you you

686
00:55:14.920 --> 00:55:18.599
would like her. If you're in a coffee place in

687
00:55:18.920 --> 00:55:23.079
the UK or in England and you order a coffee

688
00:55:23.599 --> 00:55:26.880
and they say, would you like some biscuits, that means

689
00:55:26.920 --> 00:55:31.079
one hundred that they're in love with you. So it's

690
00:55:31.119 --> 00:55:35.480
worth just this is information worth knowing that they're basically

691
00:55:35.760 --> 00:55:40.920
you know they love you, and that's it really is.

692
00:55:41.199 --> 00:55:46.360
I think it's quite handy to have this knowledge. But

693
00:55:46.360 --> 00:55:51.480
if someone invites you around, or you visit, by the way,

694
00:55:51.519 --> 00:55:54.639
if you visit, and if you if they don't invite

695
00:55:54.679 --> 00:56:01.880
you and you just visit, then you don't get to

696
00:56:01.960 --> 00:56:08.599
choose what biscuits you want. They get to choose, but

697
00:56:08.679 --> 00:56:14.400
if they invite you, you get to choose. In fact,

698
00:56:14.440 --> 00:56:17.039
you don't even get an opportunity to go into the

699
00:56:17.079 --> 00:56:20.199
biscuit room or we call it the bickie room. But

700
00:56:20.599 --> 00:56:22.360
you don't get a chance to go into the biscuit

701
00:56:22.440 --> 00:56:27.639
room because you've not been invited. You've just made up

702
00:56:27.679 --> 00:56:29.639
your mind to knock on their door and go in

703
00:56:30.119 --> 00:56:35.519
or wait till they answer the door. Of course, in

704
00:56:35.559 --> 00:56:40.280
that situation, they can give you the horriblest biscuits that

705
00:56:40.320 --> 00:56:44.239
they want. They still have to give you biscuits, it's

706
00:56:44.280 --> 00:56:47.679
the law, but they don't have to give you the

707
00:56:47.760 --> 00:56:53.400
nice ones. They can give you are because we have

708
00:56:53.519 --> 00:57:00.599
a thing here. This is going to shock you. Oh,

709
00:57:00.719 --> 00:57:03.760
this is this is It's going to be hard for

710
00:57:03.800 --> 00:57:05.719
me to say this out loud. I'm a little bit

711
00:57:05.760 --> 00:57:10.960
embarrassed by it. But thin. He's having a dream. He's

712
00:57:11.039 --> 00:57:19.039
dreaming out about biscuits. So we have this thing in

713
00:57:19.079 --> 00:57:22.400
this country. We have supermarkets. That's not the shocking part.

714
00:57:23.519 --> 00:57:26.800
We have supermarkets and they sell biscuits. Again, that's not

715
00:57:26.800 --> 00:57:35.360
the shocking part. The shocking part is there are amongst

716
00:57:35.679 --> 00:57:42.119
the many, many types of biscuits a thing. I'm just

717
00:57:42.159 --> 00:57:45.280
saying this out loud again, this is quite a secret.

718
00:57:45.360 --> 00:57:48.079
We're not supposed to share this, but hey, I suppose

719
00:57:48.079 --> 00:57:50.920
I've just broken all the rules. We have a thing

720
00:57:51.000 --> 00:57:56.880
here called home brand. And so if it's here in

721
00:57:56.920 --> 00:58:03.719
Sainsbury's Supermarketsbury's home brand biscuits, and they're still call them

722
00:58:03.719 --> 00:58:07.880
the same, like digestives or rich tea, but they're not

723
00:58:08.000 --> 00:58:13.280
really digestives and they're not really rich tea. And some

724
00:58:13.320 --> 00:58:16.559
would argue people have no sense of taste, no taste.

725
00:58:16.599 --> 00:58:21.800
Buds will argue it tastes the same, It doesn't taste

726
00:58:21.840 --> 00:58:27.760
the same, just the same way Dominoes and Pizza Gogo

727
00:58:27.960 --> 00:58:34.679
do not taste the same. Pizza Hut and pitting Dominoes don't.

728
00:58:34.679 --> 00:58:38.000
It's different things. This tastes different just because the word

729
00:58:38.079 --> 00:58:39.920
pizzas and it doesn't mean it's all going to taste

730
00:58:39.960 --> 00:58:44.039
the same. I've got on to talk about food. It

731
00:58:44.199 --> 00:58:50.119
makes me think it might be my tummy saying food

732
00:58:50.639 --> 00:58:58.360
a biscuit. So yeah, what some people do, and it's

733
00:58:58.519 --> 00:59:03.679
it's it don't have to, okay, but you have your

734
00:59:03.800 --> 00:59:11.360
right as an English citizen to provide instead of providing

735
00:59:11.480 --> 00:59:17.039
the decent biscuits, you provide the home brand biscuits for

736
00:59:17.159 --> 00:59:21.920
the cup of tea. And also you don't have to

737
00:59:22.000 --> 00:59:28.679
provide endless biscuits. I want to say endless. I mean

738
00:59:28.679 --> 00:59:31.679
they're all the same. There's no like massive biscuits. But

739
00:59:32.679 --> 00:59:36.199
although the wagon wheel used to be quite big, is

740
00:59:36.239 --> 00:59:39.199
it a biscuit? Is it? Is it like a chocolate

741
00:59:39.440 --> 00:59:43.000
because it is chocolate, but that's marshmallow inside, but also

742
00:59:43.119 --> 00:59:46.199
had biscuit. It's kind of a weird one, is and

743
00:59:46.239 --> 00:59:50.400
it's too big to fit into a cup to dunke its.

744
00:59:50.639 --> 00:59:52.880
It's one of those weird things where you have to

745
00:59:52.920 --> 00:59:56.440
cut it in half first or in quarters, depending on

746
00:59:56.480 --> 00:59:59.679
how much you want to put in your mouth. And

747
01:00:01.199 --> 01:00:04.239
that's that's that was. I think I've probably spent about

748
01:00:04.239 --> 01:00:06.159
three months of school just learning how to do a

749
01:00:06.199 --> 01:00:09.079
wagon wheel, how to dip one of them without ruining

750
01:00:09.119 --> 01:00:15.039
everything because they drip, really drip. That's the thing. That's

751
01:00:15.119 --> 01:00:19.599
why we have the you know you got a cup

752
01:00:19.639 --> 01:00:22.880
and saucer. We don't really have We don't really use

753
01:00:22.880 --> 01:00:27.400
saucers so much indoors. But that's what saucers were for

754
01:00:28.039 --> 01:00:34.920
was collecting the remnants of the biscuit, of the tea

755
01:00:35.159 --> 01:00:37.800
dripping off the biscuit, and any kind of chocolate or

756
01:00:37.880 --> 01:00:41.679
biscuit bits could like just be kept in there so

757
01:00:41.719 --> 01:00:45.360
it didn't go on to the table or drip onto

758
01:00:45.400 --> 01:00:54.800
your trousers. But yeah, generally, I think it's quite nice

759
01:00:54.840 --> 01:00:58.320
to have something different from other people because you know,

760
01:00:58.400 --> 01:01:00.480
I know that in Japan, I think they have the

761
01:01:00.519 --> 01:01:03.920
tea ceremony, but it's very different. I've done a tea

762
01:01:04.000 --> 01:01:07.599
ceremony and put his center and they it's very slow.

763
01:01:09.480 --> 01:01:11.920
It's not something to be done when you're thirsty. That's

764
01:01:11.960 --> 01:01:16.119
all I'm saying. The tea ceremony isn't really about the tea.

765
01:01:16.719 --> 01:01:22.199
It's about mindfulness. It's about noticing every move that you make,

766
01:01:22.400 --> 01:01:29.000
every physical movement, every It's very slow and it's nice,

767
01:01:29.639 --> 01:01:35.800
very calm, but it's not really a social activity. I

768
01:01:35.800 --> 01:01:41.440
would argue. I'm trying to think of what other biscuits

769
01:01:41.480 --> 01:01:45.480
are liked. I used to have this little routine, I'm

770
01:01:45.480 --> 01:01:53.440
gonna say ritual, routine, ritual back in nineteen eighty eight,

771
01:01:55.559 --> 01:02:01.519
eighty eight, yeah, eighty eight, and I used to watch

772
01:02:01.760 --> 01:02:04.239
I remember I used to come home from work. I

773
01:02:04.280 --> 01:02:06.159
think it's when I was working at the co op

774
01:02:08.800 --> 01:02:14.519
on a Friday evening, I would watch Roseanne and Cheers.

775
01:02:15.440 --> 01:02:19.559
So between nine and ten, I couldn't tell you which

776
01:02:19.599 --> 01:02:23.119
one was on first, Roseanne or Cheers, I don't know,

777
01:02:23.840 --> 01:02:25.679
but they'd both be on it. And what I would

778
01:02:25.760 --> 01:02:30.159
do is I would have a can of coke and

779
01:02:30.239 --> 01:02:33.360
a packet of biscuits, and I would just eat the

780
01:02:33.400 --> 01:02:37.840
whole lot, maybe even two packs of biscuits, but I

781
01:02:37.840 --> 01:02:41.679
think it's one pack of biscuits. It was even fig rolls.

782
01:02:42.000 --> 01:02:47.079
Maybe it was two packs actually, but ginger nuts probably,

783
01:02:48.119 --> 01:02:53.679
and I would just feel bloated, like too much. But

784
01:02:53.760 --> 01:02:57.320
then when I was at the co op, I definitely

785
01:02:57.320 --> 01:03:01.920
went for a bit of a biscuit period. It gives

786
01:03:01.920 --> 01:03:04.760
a different whole weird visual. Isn't that a biscuit period

787
01:03:05.880 --> 01:03:09.519
at lunch time, not lunchtime, at break time, the first

788
01:03:09.519 --> 01:03:11.800
break of the day when I worked in the co op,

789
01:03:11.840 --> 01:03:16.400
which was a supermarket thing. It wasn't a big supermarket

790
01:03:16.880 --> 01:03:22.320
that I worked in. And two tills that was it, really,

791
01:03:22.360 --> 01:03:27.880
I think, or three tills something like that. Four tills,

792
01:03:28.159 --> 01:03:29.800
I think, two tills on the main till, and then

793
01:03:29.800 --> 01:03:36.239
there's a couple of other little tills when it was busy. Anyway,

794
01:03:36.360 --> 01:03:44.159
I went and I had this little routine when I

795
01:03:44.199 --> 01:03:47.800
would have my break, I'd buy a can of coke

796
01:03:49.280 --> 01:03:52.719
and I would buy some figure rolls. They were not

797
01:03:52.880 --> 01:03:59.239
home brand figure roles because well, for me, they weren't

798
01:03:59.280 --> 01:04:03.320
for a visitor that had not, let me know, you know,

799
01:04:03.360 --> 01:04:05.880
an unwanted visitor, that's the one that would get the

800
01:04:06.840 --> 01:04:10.960
home brand figureles. These were nice figure roles. And there's

801
01:04:11.039 --> 01:04:16.360
nothing wrong with home brand biscuits, you know, for other people.

802
01:04:18.639 --> 01:04:22.119
But you know, I've been raised to be a biscuit snob.

803
01:04:22.679 --> 01:04:28.039
That's how it is. So it's not my fault. It's like,

804
01:04:28.039 --> 01:04:30.320
you wouldn't blame me if I had a religious belief,

805
01:04:30.400 --> 01:04:32.159
if I was brought up to have that belief, and

806
01:04:32.199 --> 01:04:35.639
no matter how silly it might seem to everyone else,

807
01:04:36.840 --> 01:04:39.360
you can't blame me because I've been raised to believe

808
01:04:39.400 --> 01:04:42.719
that I don't know any different, and it's almost impossible

809
01:04:42.760 --> 01:04:46.360
to believe anything different in a way. But it's just

810
01:04:46.440 --> 01:04:50.320
like that's all I know, and that's that's what I know.

811
01:04:51.079 --> 01:04:55.159
It's very hard to get someone out of that. And

812
01:04:55.199 --> 01:05:02.000
it's the same with biscuits. Biscuits are very much like religion,

813
01:05:02.119 --> 01:05:08.159
don't you know. So I used to have these fig

814
01:05:08.280 --> 01:05:14.199
rolls fig rolls, but they weren't because there's different types

815
01:05:14.239 --> 01:05:17.000
of fig roles you can get. You can get the

816
01:05:17.039 --> 01:05:19.320
ones that are like a roll, like literally they look

817
01:05:19.360 --> 01:05:21.559
a little bit like a sausage roll, really like a

818
01:05:21.599 --> 01:05:26.039
really small sausage roll. These ones weren't then. They were

819
01:05:26.360 --> 01:05:31.320
more fancy and a little bit bigger and like rolled

820
01:05:31.400 --> 01:05:36.480
over pastry. It was different. It tasted much nicer, and

821
01:05:36.519 --> 01:05:38.960
I think there was like one, two, three for about

822
01:05:39.079 --> 01:05:42.480
six in a pack, and I'd eat a whole lot

823
01:05:43.360 --> 01:05:49.039
with my can of coke. Yeah, fifteen minute break. And

824
01:05:49.719 --> 01:05:52.519
while we do do that, listen to the radio in

825
01:05:52.559 --> 01:05:56.440
the staff room. The staff room was like big enough

826
01:05:56.440 --> 01:06:00.719
for two people sitting at a table and probably a

827
01:06:00.840 --> 01:06:03.840
coat wrack or you know, that's it. There wasn't a

828
01:06:03.840 --> 01:06:10.199
lot of room in there. And I did that for months,

829
01:06:10.280 --> 01:06:24.280
just a nice or lovely figure, roles, nice can and coke. Yeah,

830
01:06:24.280 --> 01:06:27.800
it was nice. I like that. It's weird though, because

831
01:06:27.800 --> 01:06:31.639
I closed my eyes and I can still see inside

832
01:06:31.719 --> 01:06:37.480
that shop. Now. I have been inside the shop over

833
01:06:37.519 --> 01:06:41.559
the years, because I've visited that town many times, hundreds

834
01:06:41.559 --> 01:06:45.119
of times since I left school, since I left the town,

835
01:06:45.400 --> 01:06:50.199
so I've been back loads of times. It's a long

836
01:06:50.320 --> 01:06:54.320
time since I went into that shop, many many years,

837
01:06:54.840 --> 01:06:58.880
so it might have changed, but I just remember how

838
01:06:58.920 --> 01:07:02.199
it used to be. So you'd go in, you'd look

839
01:07:02.239 --> 01:07:10.360
at the shop and it was next to a if

840
01:07:10.360 --> 01:07:13.559
you was facing it. They say, you like if you

841
01:07:13.679 --> 01:07:17.760
walked out of the front door of the co op

842
01:07:18.159 --> 01:07:22.719
shop supermarket and just walk backwards. Not a good idea.

843
01:07:22.840 --> 01:07:25.079
You might bang into something. But it was quite a

844
01:07:25.079 --> 01:07:31.480
big pavement and you stopped and you open your eyes.

845
01:07:31.719 --> 01:07:33.679
I mean again, why would you have a clap? Why

846
01:07:33.719 --> 01:07:35.920
would you close your eyes if you're walking backwards? But

847
01:07:35.960 --> 01:07:39.599
why would you walk backwards? Would it make any difference

848
01:07:39.639 --> 01:07:41.800
if you had your eyes open? Because you can't see

849
01:07:41.880 --> 01:07:46.440
behind yourself, can you? Less You're a pigeon. So that's

850
01:07:46.480 --> 01:07:50.320
what I admire about pigeons because they can see pretty

851
01:07:50.360 --> 01:08:02.360
much everywhere. They're omnipotous nipple nipples, sli And to the

852
01:08:02.440 --> 01:08:07.599
left there was this Chinese takeaway and that was it.

853
01:08:07.719 --> 01:08:10.559
That was all I was on that little bit of road.

854
01:08:12.639 --> 01:08:14.719
So you go into the supermarket and on the right

855
01:08:14.719 --> 01:08:17.920
hand side there was the bit where the lorriers would

856
01:08:17.920 --> 01:08:22.439
go into deliver. So you go into the entrance, it

857
01:08:22.560 --> 01:08:25.079
was like a double door. Left hand side was the

858
01:08:25.159 --> 01:08:28.119
counter all the way up on the left hand side,

859
01:08:28.880 --> 01:08:32.239
so it was a cigarettes, booze all that stuff. Yeah,

860
01:08:32.520 --> 01:08:40.960
I think there might have been two tills. Yeah, ah,

861
01:08:41.000 --> 01:08:43.840
and I think there was a conveyor belt as well

862
01:08:43.840 --> 01:08:50.840
on there. Why would there isn't now, but I think

863
01:08:50.840 --> 01:09:01.000
there might have been back then. Ah maybe anyway, so

864
01:09:01.119 --> 01:09:04.199
there was that. And then if you can, so you

865
01:09:04.279 --> 01:09:07.840
go in, turn right, there's one lane that goes down,

866
01:09:08.720 --> 01:09:18.159
then turn left. There's another lane and turn right and

867
01:09:18.199 --> 01:09:20.000
then turn left and that leads you to the things.

868
01:09:20.000 --> 01:09:23.760
So there's a few lanes. Again, it's not a large store.

869
01:09:24.359 --> 01:09:27.279
There's free of stuff at the bottom. I did like

870
01:09:27.319 --> 01:09:33.039
the smell of the place. It has quite a nice smell,

871
01:09:33.159 --> 01:09:37.239
you know. There's lots of groceries and bread and vegetables,

872
01:09:37.399 --> 01:09:43.199
and or sorry vegetables and that you could feed your

873
01:09:43.239 --> 01:09:53.039
tor toys. Stop it. I think I just heard a fly.

874
01:09:59.159 --> 01:10:04.000
What I think, I suppose just different Yeah, dairy products.

875
01:10:04.119 --> 01:10:07.479
The fridges were there, so I guess the smell of

876
01:10:07.520 --> 01:10:11.840
the fridges, and it was just a nice general nice

877
01:10:11.920 --> 01:10:16.319
quite quite a nice smell. I think supermarkets do smell

878
01:10:16.399 --> 01:10:20.319
quite nice. Actually, it's all that mixture of different things.

879
01:10:21.319 --> 01:10:24.399
Why I wasn't so keene on was the brown jacket

880
01:10:24.439 --> 01:10:26.720
I had to wear, because first of all, it was

881
01:10:26.760 --> 01:10:30.640
too tight and I was tiny back then. You know,

882
01:10:30.640 --> 01:10:34.079
I was like nine stone or something. It's like really

883
01:10:35.319 --> 01:10:48.039
really slim, and wow, I'm like six six stone heavier,

884
01:10:52.680 --> 01:10:55.319
used to be seven stone heavier. But I lost this.

885
01:10:55.600 --> 01:10:59.319
I lost this some weird I did. I did. I

886
01:10:59.359 --> 01:11:03.479
did and kept it off as well, which is pretty cool.

887
01:11:05.960 --> 01:11:10.880
H Yeah. I didn't like it to smell weird, just

888
01:11:10.920 --> 01:11:13.399
smell weird. Just had a weird smell, and I thought,

889
01:11:15.159 --> 01:11:20.359
I don't want to smell weird. I'm only seventeen. Just

890
01:11:21.680 --> 01:11:24.479
I was hoping to one day get to hold someone's hand,

891
01:11:25.359 --> 01:11:28.359
you know, don't have romance. I didn't want to be

892
01:11:28.399 --> 01:11:33.159
walking around smilly. I don't know what it was. I

893
01:11:33.239 --> 01:11:35.560
think someone else had worn it before me. I took

894
01:11:35.600 --> 01:11:38.600
it home, I washed, it still had a weird kind

895
01:11:38.600 --> 01:11:41.600
of smell, and eventually I was able to get a

896
01:11:41.840 --> 01:11:45.199
bigger one. So I'd much rather have something that looks

897
01:11:45.199 --> 01:11:47.399
too big on me than something that looks too small

898
01:11:47.439 --> 01:11:54.960
on me. Plus it was, Yeah, it was uncomfortable. Uncomfortable,

899
01:11:58.960 --> 01:12:04.199
But then they did. I used to employ kids, like

900
01:12:04.319 --> 01:12:08.359
in the evenings, like part time stuff from school at

901
01:12:08.359 --> 01:12:12.000
the weekends and stuff, so I think they probably they

902
01:12:12.079 --> 01:12:15.199
had little sizes for the kids. I just happened to

903
01:12:15.199 --> 01:12:24.159
be kids size, even at seventeen. Yeah, that was. Yeah.

904
01:12:24.159 --> 01:12:25.920
I wasn't a big fan out, but it was once

905
01:12:25.960 --> 01:12:27.880
I got a Yeah, I got a bigger one, but

906
01:12:27.920 --> 01:12:29.319
it was too long for me, so I had to

907
01:12:29.399 --> 01:12:33.399
roll the sleeves up. I don't know what did you do?

908
01:12:33.560 --> 01:12:40.720
It's like it, okay, I need so I've got I've

909
01:12:40.720 --> 01:12:44.680
got a cardigan that I need to be bigger because

910
01:12:44.680 --> 01:12:50.520
of my body, but I don't have long arms, so

911
01:12:52.359 --> 01:12:57.159
it kind of covers half my hands. But the shoulders

912
01:12:57.479 --> 01:13:01.359
and the upper body feels you know, it's just weird.

913
01:13:01.600 --> 01:13:12.119
Just what those what is it? Taro terodactyl tero doctyl, terodactyl, torectible.

914
01:13:12.840 --> 01:13:15.880
You know the ones with little hands kangaroos, that's another

915
01:13:15.880 --> 01:13:18.920
one of it. Look a little arms and bigger body.

916
01:13:19.000 --> 01:13:22.119
Maybe that's me. Not quite that bad, but I don't

917
01:13:22.239 --> 01:13:29.640
have really yeah, I don't have long arms. I don't

918
01:13:29.680 --> 01:13:35.399
have like really short arms, but they're not wrong. They're

919
01:13:35.399 --> 01:13:41.800
not long enough to fit my body. Basically, my height

920
01:13:41.920 --> 01:13:45.119
is not My legs are not long enough to fit

921
01:13:45.159 --> 01:13:51.159
my body either. Come five for eight. My ideal weight

922
01:13:51.239 --> 01:13:57.680
should be like eleven and a half stone, and I'm

923
01:13:57.720 --> 01:14:04.479
not that and no eleven and a half stone. So

924
01:14:05.279 --> 01:14:09.000
even if I was twelve and a half or thirteen,

925
01:14:10.479 --> 01:14:19.399
then it's still that's overweight apparently. So my weight for

926
01:14:19.520 --> 01:14:25.159
my height is ridiculous. You know, I should be like

927
01:14:25.439 --> 01:14:29.319
seven foot tall from my height for my height for

928
01:14:29.439 --> 01:14:33.640
my weight, I should probably be about six two six

929
01:14:33.760 --> 01:14:39.640
three six five six four To be my my weight,

930
01:14:39.760 --> 01:14:46.159
I should be yeah, about six six foot five maybe

931
01:14:46.199 --> 01:14:49.840
six three. I could get away at six three six two,

932
01:14:51.880 --> 01:14:56.319
you know, well set, heavy but quite tall. I could

933
01:14:56.319 --> 01:14:59.720
get I could do that, but I'm not. I'm stumpy

934
01:15:00.079 --> 01:15:05.840
and like a I wouldn't look at her place on

935
01:15:06.000 --> 01:15:11.359
the new swat snow White movie. I don't mean taking

936
01:15:11.399 --> 01:15:16.920
her place. She'd live. I have another acting job. After that,

937
01:15:19.720 --> 01:15:22.479
I watched a bit of snow White, the new one,

938
01:15:22.720 --> 01:15:31.079
and it's I'd say, it's weird, right, just leave her alone.

939
01:15:31.880 --> 01:15:34.880
That's that's that's my opinion. It's weird. It's just that

940
01:15:35.159 --> 01:15:39.119
really really went for her because she was just talking

941
01:15:39.279 --> 01:15:43.800
like a teenager. She's a teenager, or maybe she's in

942
01:15:43.840 --> 01:15:46.199
her early twenties. I don't know, but she just she

943
01:15:46.439 --> 01:15:49.119
just she was just talking away that she talked to,

944
01:15:49.279 --> 01:15:53.600
just being herself, and I really really went for her.

945
01:15:53.720 --> 01:15:59.199
It was like, leave her alone. And I didn't think

946
01:15:59.279 --> 01:16:01.479
of that in a sense of like a father figure,

947
01:16:01.479 --> 01:16:04.039
because I don't feel like a father figure towards a

948
01:16:04.079 --> 01:16:11.319
young woman, just from a you know, a human perspective.

949
01:16:12.560 --> 01:16:18.439
Leave alone. It's snow White. Don't mess with snow White.

950
01:16:20.319 --> 01:16:27.880
Show some respect for the Snowy the Snowy one. Do

951
01:16:27.880 --> 01:16:31.359
you don't think that snow White did she have who

952
01:16:31.439 --> 01:16:33.840
is it had blonde hair in the Disney movies, because

953
01:16:33.840 --> 01:16:36.000
you'd think snow White would have blonde hair. I don't

954
01:16:36.039 --> 01:16:40.520
know why, like just blonde. I don't know, snow maybe

955
01:16:40.560 --> 01:16:47.439
because white snow is white. Who had blonde hair? Goldilocks?

956
01:16:48.039 --> 01:16:51.319
Suppose that makes sense, wouldn't it Goldilocks? But then she'd

957
01:16:51.319 --> 01:16:55.840
have golden hair, not white hair or blonde hair. Rather,

958
01:16:59.800 --> 01:17:05.760
who else is the sleeping beauty? It's a Goldilocks sleeping beauty? Rapunzel,

959
01:17:09.039 --> 01:17:11.319
sir a Punzel. I don't know what color hair she had?

960
01:17:11.600 --> 01:17:22.039
She had long hair, didn't she a Punzel? M Still

961
01:17:22.079 --> 01:17:27.359
one of my favorites, the lytly good lyrical do do

962
01:17:27.359 --> 01:17:32.319
do do do do lytly gool lyto do do do

963
01:17:32.319 --> 01:17:36.600
do do do do do do do do do do

964
01:17:36.600 --> 01:17:41.560
do do do do do do. The cold doesn't bother

965
01:17:41.680 --> 01:17:45.039
me anyway, I see, that's the only let it go

966
01:17:45.159 --> 01:17:47.359
and the cold doesn't bother me anyway. It's the only

967
01:17:47.600 --> 01:17:52.760
only bits I remember. I liked that movie, Yeah I did.

968
01:17:53.479 --> 01:17:55.640
And what is it? The silly? That is it? The Snowman?

969
01:17:55.760 --> 01:18:03.560
He's good in that as well. Yeah, that's got to

970
01:18:03.600 --> 01:18:05.720
be the first role that he ever had where people

971
01:18:05.800 --> 01:18:09.720
weren't judging him on his appearance. Blind me leave the

972
01:18:09.760 --> 01:18:15.359
man alone. He can't like he's either overweight or like

973
01:18:15.479 --> 01:18:18.680
the moment you've lost a lot of weight, are you Okay, like,

974
01:18:19.239 --> 01:18:26.359
leave him alone. He's a funny acts. I'm very in

975
01:18:26.399 --> 01:18:31.399
the supportive, supporting actors kind of mood at the moment. Yes,

976
01:18:34.720 --> 01:18:39.279
did you know that the It's not really related to biscuits,

977
01:18:39.319 --> 01:18:49.079
but Canelo fight against Crawford, which is on in September.

978
01:18:49.119 --> 01:18:54.239
I think it's going to be on Netflix. Netflix, So

979
01:18:54.439 --> 01:18:56.640
I signed up to Netflix because it's going to be free.

980
01:18:56.960 --> 01:18:59.760
Well it's not really free, but it's going to be streamed,

981
01:19:00.159 --> 01:19:04.720
not pay per view. One of the biggest fights I

982
01:19:04.760 --> 01:19:12.199
would say of the year. Personally, the most exciting fights

983
01:19:12.239 --> 01:19:19.119
of the year. Four boxing fans fourthen in Canelo, it's

984
01:19:19.159 --> 01:19:24.960
a great fight. It would have been, yeah, I mean

985
01:19:28.920 --> 01:19:33.079
as far as exciting fights go, boxing wise, I mean,

986
01:19:33.119 --> 01:19:40.920
you've got the the World heavyweight Championship with Usik and Dubois,

987
01:19:41.000 --> 01:19:43.880
but they've already fought before. So although it's exciting, it's

988
01:19:43.960 --> 01:19:45.960
July the nineteenth, and I'm going to be watching it

989
01:19:46.079 --> 01:19:54.079
one hopefully, and I'm looking forward to it. But they

990
01:19:54.079 --> 01:20:00.920
have fought before, and Canelo and Usik beating so that

991
01:20:01.079 --> 01:20:07.479
doesn't have the same excitement as Crawford Canelo because they've

992
01:20:07.479 --> 01:20:14.840
never fought before and they both they're both broken records

993
01:20:14.840 --> 01:20:19.000
in their own way. I mean, no one, there's no boxer,

994
01:20:21.000 --> 01:20:25.600
there's no box there's no active boxer around today that

995
01:20:25.720 --> 01:20:32.359
can match Canelo's boxing record, his professional record. Not about

996
01:20:32.359 --> 01:20:37.479
how many wins he's had, just how many names he's fought,

997
01:20:37.720 --> 01:20:42.880
how many big names he's actually conquered, whether he beat

998
01:20:42.920 --> 01:20:46.880
them or not. Actually, he's just fought so many people

999
01:20:49.560 --> 01:20:53.720
and won so many titles. But then, but Crawford has

1000
01:20:54.760 --> 01:20:59.000
unified two different divisions. It's a free wide world champion,

1001
01:20:59.039 --> 01:21:05.800
and he's unified three divisions. I think, or he's unified

1002
01:21:05.840 --> 01:21:09.479
two divisions and won three world titles, and he's a yeah,

1003
01:21:09.479 --> 01:21:12.439
he's won three. I think it's I think he's one

1004
01:21:12.479 --> 01:21:19.680
world titles in three divisions, three weight classes. He's unified

1005
01:21:19.840 --> 01:21:24.840
in two weight classes. And if he's fighting Canelo, who

1006
01:21:24.880 --> 01:21:27.840
holds all the belts in the super middleweight So if

1007
01:21:27.840 --> 01:21:31.880
he wins that, he will be the first boxer in

1008
01:21:32.079 --> 01:21:40.119
history to be unified in three different weight divisions. Now,

1009
01:21:40.159 --> 01:21:45.600
Canelo is already one, regardless of what anyone says, one

1010
01:21:45.600 --> 01:21:49.199
of the greatest boxers of our generation for what is accomplished,

1011
01:21:50.520 --> 01:21:57.439
just what he's done is just phenomenal, and he's potentially

1012
01:21:57.520 --> 01:21:59.520
on the slide, but even on the slide, he's still

1013
01:21:59.560 --> 01:22:04.319
beating it one so they said always on a slide

1014
01:22:04.359 --> 01:22:07.560
because he's getting old. Now he's what was he thirty

1015
01:22:07.560 --> 01:22:11.319
three or thirty four, thirty five? Maybe now he's been

1016
01:22:11.319 --> 01:22:16.760
boxing since he was fifteen, I think a professionally. I mean,

1017
01:22:17.520 --> 01:22:22.239
he's been a professional fighter for what twenty years. He's

1018
01:22:22.279 --> 01:22:26.640
won so many world titles. I don't know if anyone

1019
01:22:26.720 --> 01:22:29.880
else has won as many titles as him, as many

1020
01:22:29.920 --> 01:22:37.319
divisions as him, maybe Paquio may Mayweather in Pacio Pakio

1021
01:22:37.800 --> 01:22:46.279
Paqui how I think Pakio had seven different divisions, seven

1022
01:22:46.279 --> 01:22:53.359
different weight divisions, and almost I almost believe that this

1023
01:22:53.479 --> 01:22:59.000
was just like fake news. Pakio is actually coming back

1024
01:22:59.119 --> 01:23:09.079
after year of professional boxing, years of like proper you know,

1025
01:23:09.159 --> 01:23:13.880
fighting big names and whatever, and he's fighting for a

1026
01:23:13.960 --> 01:23:19.640
world title, no warmup fights. He's fighting straight away for

1027
01:23:19.720 --> 01:23:26.760
a world title. And I will watch it, but I

1028
01:23:26.800 --> 01:23:30.840
do wonder, like, I mean, he's not the first one

1029
01:23:30.920 --> 01:23:34.279
to do that, but he's been out of the ring

1030
01:23:34.359 --> 01:23:44.439
for quite a long time. You know, when sugar O

1031
01:23:44.600 --> 01:23:49.840
Lenard came back to beat Marvin Hagler, he'd been out

1032
01:23:49.880 --> 01:23:52.319
of the ring for a good couple of years or so,

1033
01:23:53.439 --> 01:23:56.079
but I think many's been out of the ring for five

1034
01:23:56.159 --> 01:24:00.520
or six years. He's had a couple of exhibitions fights,

1035
01:24:01.560 --> 01:24:04.359
maybe they went on his record as being professional fights,

1036
01:24:04.399 --> 01:24:11.399
but he hasn't fought any boxers. I think he fought

1037
01:24:11.439 --> 01:24:14.560
like a kickboxer, but in a ring. I think it

1038
01:24:14.600 --> 01:24:17.920
was a kickboxing world champion, but it's still mootai or something.

1039
01:24:19.880 --> 01:24:21.520
And there was one fight yet when he just kept

1040
01:24:21.600 --> 01:24:24.000
knocking a bloke down like so, He's had a few

1041
01:24:24.039 --> 01:24:27.920
fights like that over the years, but professionally, I don't

1042
01:24:27.960 --> 01:24:31.560
think he's fought for six at least six years, maybe

1043
01:24:31.600 --> 01:24:37.760
longer as an actual contender in the world boxing scene.

1044
01:24:39.279 --> 01:24:41.760
And he goes straight into fighting for a world title

1045
01:24:44.319 --> 01:24:47.800
and he's what he's about forty four now, I think,

1046
01:24:49.039 --> 01:24:51.840
or forty five or four older, maybe even I don't know,

1047
01:24:52.920 --> 01:24:56.319
getting onto fifty. I think maybe, yeah, I think he's

1048
01:24:56.359 --> 01:25:00.520
getting on. He can't be getting onto fifty, can he?

1049
01:25:00.520 --> 01:25:04.319
He's in his forties early forties, I think. But then

1050
01:25:04.359 --> 01:25:06.880
that makes me think, you know, like I hear people

1051
01:25:06.920 --> 01:25:10.720
going on about well, I can hear people, what's.

1052
01:25:10.319 --> 01:25:12.279
This got to do about You've got to go back

1053
01:25:12.279 --> 01:25:15.560
to boxing. Then what about the biscuits? We were really

1054
01:25:15.600 --> 01:25:17.880
interested in the biscuits? And then you talk about boxing again.

1055
01:25:19.760 --> 01:25:21.439
I'll be honest with you, I think I've run out

1056
01:25:21.439 --> 01:25:22.520
of biscuits stories.

1057
01:25:23.359 --> 01:25:26.199
I didn't think i'd ever say that out loud as

1058
01:25:26.239 --> 01:25:28.560
a sentence. I never thought i'd come out of my

1059
01:25:28.600 --> 01:25:36.840
mouth suddenly his heavyweights, you know the people talking about

1060
01:25:36.840 --> 01:25:44.159
heavyweights or the internet again. Oh, Dillian White, he's thirty

1061
01:25:44.199 --> 01:25:50.399
eight years old. Now he's you know, he's got most

1062
01:25:50.439 --> 01:25:52.800
of the tumor. Is going to be fighting him in September,

1063
01:25:52.960 --> 01:25:56.479
and he doesn't stand a chance against him because he's

1064
01:25:56.600 --> 01:26:02.479
twenty years old. And Dillian why is thirty eight doesn't

1065
01:26:02.600 --> 01:26:06.520
hands down hope against the young man. And then it's

1066
01:26:06.600 --> 01:26:12.439
like everyone's forgotten. George Foreman, he didn't come back until

1067
01:26:12.479 --> 01:26:15.600
it was about thirty eight and he won the world

1068
01:26:15.600 --> 01:26:21.239
title of forty four or forty five forty four forty five.

1069
01:26:22.560 --> 01:26:28.199
He fought for the world title twice before that, and

1070
01:26:28.279 --> 01:26:36.199
against Tommy Morrison and Evander Hollyfield, and eventually he did

1071
01:26:36.239 --> 01:26:40.680
win it. So he had to fight to get it.

1072
01:26:40.720 --> 01:26:42.880
He doesn't just handed it. You know he had to,

1073
01:26:43.079 --> 01:26:45.640
he had to have loads of twenty odd fights before

1074
01:26:45.680 --> 01:26:47.840
he got a chance to fight for the world title

1075
01:26:49.079 --> 01:26:54.279
the second time round. And they're writing people off who

1076
01:26:54.319 --> 01:27:02.720
are less than forty. It's just I don't know, just

1077
01:27:04.000 --> 01:27:09.319
it seemed to have forgotten. And then you've got Desic

1078
01:27:09.640 --> 01:27:17.479
Desic Derek Isaura, who's a handful for anyone. It SEMs

1079
01:27:17.600 --> 01:27:21.199
really weird. It's like Derek I can't say his name today,

1080
01:27:21.199 --> 01:27:26.359
Derek Chaura. He's he's been winning quite a few fights lately.

1081
01:27:26.479 --> 01:27:31.720
He's really good. He's exciting, exciting to watch. And he's

1082
01:27:32.680 --> 01:27:41.800
even forty now, he thought and Dillian White that he's

1083
01:27:42.319 --> 01:27:45.880
he's not been very active, but he's had a great career.

1084
01:27:48.520 --> 01:27:51.680
Tyson Fury, who's some people say, oh, he's not any good.

1085
01:27:52.000 --> 01:27:58.279
Not really. Tyson Fury made both of those boxes look awful.

1086
01:28:01.359 --> 01:28:05.520
I mean really, he made them both look awful. It

1087
01:28:05.560 --> 01:28:10.800
looked effortless for him. Isn't it weirding amount No matter

1088
01:28:10.840 --> 01:28:14.720
what you do, like the boxes, no matter how successful

1089
01:28:14.760 --> 01:28:18.680
you are, and the minute you lose like Uk now

1090
01:28:18.720 --> 01:28:22.520
he's no good. Like Okay, who did he lose to?

1091
01:28:23.359 --> 01:28:28.680
He lost to Usick who will possibly go down as

1092
01:28:28.680 --> 01:28:31.560
being one of the grace heavyweights ever, one of the

1093
01:28:31.600 --> 01:28:36.479
greatest heavyweights. Definitely of this era, this generation, these the

1094
01:28:36.520 --> 01:28:43.159
last twenty years, I'd say, because I've always achieved, unbeaten.

1095
01:28:44.079 --> 01:28:51.159
At the moment, yeah, I just I don't know. Can't

1096
01:28:51.199 --> 01:28:55.319
we just get along, That's all I'm saying. Let's just

1097
01:28:55.359 --> 01:29:01.039
all have a cup of tea and some biscuits. I

1098
01:29:01.720 --> 01:29:04.880
don't know. That was all weird recording. I'm going to go,

1099
01:29:06.239 --> 01:29:09.000
thank you for listening, and remember to be kind to

1100
01:29:09.039 --> 01:29:13.720
yourself because you do deserve to be happy. Be gentle

1101
01:29:13.720 --> 01:29:21.239
with yourself because you deserve to feel safe. Lots of love. Bye,