July 17, 2025

(music) Animals on Trial | LMBYTS #1395 | Jason Newland | 17th July 2025

(music) Animals on Trial | LMBYTS #1395 | Jason Newland | 17th July 2025
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Hello, and welcome to Jasonneuland dot com and my plastic

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bottle of water that's just heckled me. So, my name's

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Jason Newland. This is let me bore you to sleep.

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Vinnie's culted up next to me. It's very warm, are

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you Vinny? And it's all cuddled up. He caught it

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up next to your daddy, if you are. And what

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was I gonna say? Please only listen when you can

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safety close your eyes. And this is well, I didn't

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get an opportunity to do a cure. No, I do

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a trivia Tuesday. So this is going to be a

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trivia Thursday. Bah blah blah. I thought, I just why not?

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Why not? Indeed, I've got the day after day kind

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of so I did already do a recording earlier on

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but on this recording, I'm not even going to mention.

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I'm not going to mention any sausages or anything like that.

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Just I'm going to focus on the recording. Oh yes,

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So what I thought I would do is as it's

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Trivia Thursday instead of Trivia Tuesday, I find a particularly

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weird subject, very obscure as it were, and I'm going

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to focus on animals on trial and moves on trying. Yeah,

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that's what I'm doing.

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Well.

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I could just could you feel that excitement and energy

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as I sung that. It was like I was on

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a big stage with guitars and drums and big microphone

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and a glipsey suit. You know, obviously showed my midsection

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of muscles. Actually, I've been doing problems with my upper

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back muscles, and yesterday and today I did some enterpresses

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and it seems to have kind of helped. So I'm

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going to do that every day. And it just I

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don't know who knows why, but maybe it's because the

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last month I've done hardly any exercise, done hardly any weights.

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I've done more walking, but I haven't done because normally

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do weights every day for my lower back, which probably

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helps with my other back. And I've done hardly anything

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pretty much in the weight division, in the weight division,

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in the weight department. So yesterday and today I've done

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some bench presses with my dumb bells, and I actually

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it's strange, but I can kind of it feels a

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bit better. Our back feels better for doing that. Who knows,

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who knows why, But I'm not gonna I'm not gonna

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moan about it. I'm just going to enjoy it. So

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I do. I feel my opper back feels better than

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it did, so I will continue to do that every day.

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I'm only doing a thirty or forty reps. It's not

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not heavy because technically, I was thinking, if you can

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do a push up, press up, push up, what you

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want to call it, Technically I should be able to

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bench press my own weight because that's what you do

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when you do a press press up, isn't it or

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push up? It's your own weight against yourself. So technically

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I should be able to bench press ninety five kilos

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or whatever. I am should be able to do that easy, Yeah,

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I should surely. Yeah. So that's two hundred pounds, two

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hundred and something pounds, so I should be able to

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do that. I shouldn't. That shouldn't be hard at all.

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So really three I suppose three hundred pounds. Technically I

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should be able to do There's been years since I

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even bothered with a bench press, like as in a

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bench press machine, and I never really enjoyed doing the

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free weights bench presses in the gym like you know,

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like a proper gym when I was younger, or at

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any age really, partly because when I was a kid,

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i'd do it, and I'd always choose to bench press

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machines if there was other people around. Even just doing

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curls arm curls, it was a little bit I just

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didn't feel comfortable doing it because there'd always be someone

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coming around pumping up the weights and putting on bigger

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weights than the ones I was using, showing off and

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stuff or just that was stronger possibly as well, and

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I was never really into that. So I'd be in

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the gym on my own, doing my own little thing

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when I was like a kid fourteen, and you know,

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all the tough kids from the steer below or whatever

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would all be in there, and they'd all be like

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trying to outdo each other, and they'll all have bigger

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muscles than me, and generally be bigger than me because

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I was quite small for my age, very small for

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my age, and I just I mean, they didn't show

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me any disrespect, but it just it felt a little

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bit like, oh, okay, if I was standing there next

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to them doing only like twenty percent of the weights

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they were doing, that make me look silly. I was

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doing like an arm curl with a barbell, and then

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they come along and they'd like, do it. I don't

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know what I would have been doing back then, three

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pounds or something, I don't know, and they'd be coming

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and doing these big, big weights, and I'm okay, that

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was bad enough. But then as an adult, it seemed

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to be the only people that were doing free weights,

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which is abo just you know, where you put the

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weights on the end of the bars rather than using

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the machines. The only people seemed to be doing the

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free weights are the huge people, you know, the ones,

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the bodybuilders types, and I was always going to look

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really really silly next to them. I mean, there was

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one bloke he was so big, This's when I was

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in my twenties. He was so big and muscular. I

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stood next to him and I disappeared see me because

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it was just in comparison. I was like I was invisible,

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and I realized I'd fallen down a hole.

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It was.

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Not the most enjoyable experience being around people like that.

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But then I went to a proper bodybuilding gym, not

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on purpose, I mean I didn't accidentally. I didn't think

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it was a headdresser's or kabab shop. I didn't notice

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a gym. But this was different because the other gyms

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I've been in have always been like public general gyms,

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you know. But even now, the ones where just anyone goes,

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maybe they're open twenty four hours a day and you've

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got a little security key and stuff, and you still

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get the young lads sort of showing off their muscles

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and stuff like that, which is that's what I would

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have done if I'd ever been able to, if I'd

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ever had the muscles to do that with. But then

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when I was in Stratford, I went into an actual

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bodybuilders gym and it was run by a former Mister Universe, WILFH. Sylvester,

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And that was a different experience because although there was

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huge people training there, none of them were arrogant, none

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of them were showing off because they were all big.

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It was almost it's a weird one. It's like you

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had they didn't have to. I guess they were competing

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with each other as in, you know, for competitions and stuff,

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but there was you had some peoples going in there

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for just to train, like me and you It's basically that.

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And then you had these massive super fit men and

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women who were athletes, and I have never been an athlete,

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never been one of them. I can't even spell the

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word let's try a F T L E E E

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E t oh, yeah I can. But that, for some

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reason felt like a more safer space because the man

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running it didn't take no crap. It was lovely, very friendly.

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But at the same time, that was his dream to

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own his own gym, so he worked his whole He

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worked for years, decades as a bodybuilder and working for

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the Ford Car Company in day, and I think they

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sponsored him in his bodybuilding career. So he traveled the world,

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you know, doing bodybuilding contests and stuff. And then when

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he retired from bodybuilding, maybe he retired from the car

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as well, and he went and opened the gym when

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he was probably I'm guessing probably in his forties early forties.

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And in the window of this gym, most walked past

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it for years, never went in there. Well I did

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go in there eventually, but you know, for years I

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brought past it and there was his cardboard cut out

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of him. I didn't know who he was wi Will Sylvester,

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even though I used to be really into bodybuilding when

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I was at school, as in reading the magazines and

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wishing upon a star. Basically, I thought if I kept

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reading a magazines, my muscles would grow. It didn't happen.

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So I knew quite a lot about bodybuilding. The main

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people back then a Lee Hani, Rich GASPARI, yeah, lots

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of different ones. Back then. There was Al Beckles, who

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was about ninety years old then and now he's one

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hundred and fifty and he's still going strong. And he

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was in the top ten I think of the Mister Olympia,

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the oldest ever top ten like placement in the Mister Olympia,

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and he was I think then he was like forty eight,

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maybe even fifty, maybe fifty, maybe higher than fifty, because

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it's definitely in his nineties now. And this was not

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nineteen eighty five, eighty four a five. Because I used

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to take the building magazines. I think one was called Flex.

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It was definitely called Flex. Another one was I think

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Bodybuilding Monthly, so I should take them into school and

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read them while I was in classroom. So it was

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between those magazines and the martial arts magazines also like

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the boxing magazines are Ko that was a boxing magazine

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I like to read and then the martial arts magazine

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was what you'd think I'd remember that one, wouldn't you.

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What was the martial arts magazine? Kung Fu p not

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Kung Fu Panda, Kung Fu can no hm, that would

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come to me. I could search for it. I can search,

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but I can't bother. I've got the laptop in front

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of me. But I want to try and see if

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my memory perhaps works slightly. No, I can't remember. Oh no,

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nearly had it. It wasn't come through or was it

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martial arts. It might have been called martial arts, kicking, punching, blocking, fighting,

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It's some kind of name. It had a name anyway,

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And there's a specific one I used to buy every

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month or was it weekly? I think it was every

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month at least, Yeah, I think it was. It might

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be fortnightly. No, I can't remember what it was called.

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But those were the types of magazines that I used

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to read. Well, they're the ones i'd read in public.

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It's I'm the only person that actually had a part.

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It's weird. I was a little bit embarrassed about reading

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bodybuilding magazines, so I had them so when I was

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at school, because you know those desks that you can

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open up and they're like wooden desks and they open

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and you can put stuff inside. I don't know if

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you've ever seen those. That's like from decades ago. I'm

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not sure if they still exist. Well, I used to

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hide my magazines and read them with that up or

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I'd put it on top, and I didn't want other

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people to know that I was reading bodybuilding magazines. So

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what i'd do is hide it inside. A copy of

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Playboy seemed to do the trick or Penthouse, whichever one

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I could, whatever one managed to find in the bushes.

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When I say bushes, I mean like real, Okay, let's

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just move on. So I talk that bushes had the

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trimmer around. It's really weird. They trimmed everything except one bit.

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And as we come out the front of our of

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where I live, I've got this big hedge's big bush,

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but they haven't trimmed it off of the pavement, which

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means I can't see around it. I know, technicuy, I've

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never been able to see around corners. I can't see

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what's coming. I can't see what's you know. It's like

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really because when I take this little munchkin out for

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a walk, I like to said the word. Did he

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hear it? He didn't seem to notice. Good. I think

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he's asleep. I can't quite see what's coming to the

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left of me, but they haven't trimmed it back yet.

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So this what was I talking about? That?

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Oh?

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Yeah, I liked that. That was a good gym had

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a punch bag as well. So Wilf was cool. I

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got him really well with him just I'd stop and

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a chat chat with him. And I didn't really get

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to know him too, I think ninety six, So from

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ninety six to about two thousand and one, I knew

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him like to talk to and to chat to, and

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I'd sometimes he'd be outside and I'd just have a

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chat with him. Really nice bloke. I used to go

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in there with my cousin in about ninety six, and

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I think she fancied his son. Yeah, I think she'd Yeah,

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she did, yeah, because his son used to be a

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trainer as well. And it's really so down to such

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a nice bloke wolf And I'd go in there sometimes

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and just be hitting there on his own and we'd

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talk train together, and I say training together. He'd he

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kind of give me a training tips something I couldn't.

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I wouldn't even be able to spot for him. So

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if he was lifting free weights, seemed to doing a

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bench press, I'll be no good, you know. So if

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he was, if you'd wait a minute, could because if

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you don't know what spotting is, basically you're there to

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help the person with the weights if they if it's

238
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too much, you know, if they've done too much and

239
00:19:40.160 --> 00:19:42.759
you need help. I couldn't help him with his weights.

240
00:19:43.920 --> 00:19:46.839
I couldn't lift them. If you can't lift them, what

241
00:19:46.839 --> 00:19:49.400
the hell am I going to do? You're form mister universe.

242
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So you know I didn't help him, But we used

243
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to like have to go on the punch bag and

244
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hold the punch bag and stuff like that for each other.

245
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Just you know. It was a really really nice bloke.

246
00:20:02.599 --> 00:20:09.279
Liked them a lot, so I did a whole recorded

247
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on him actually a few years ago. Animals on trial,

248
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so these are many evil legal oddities. From the thirteenth

249
00:20:23.599 --> 00:20:27.519
to the eighteenth century in Europe, animals were routinely tried

250
00:20:28.359 --> 00:20:37.079
in secular courts for crimes just like people. Wow, you know,

251
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what do you know when people like in call herself

252
00:20:45.119 --> 00:20:50.680
people in the West call ourselves First World countries and

253
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how how you know and make fun and maybe like

254
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talk about other countries being so outdated, and it's not

255
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that long ago that people in my country and all

256
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over Europe were taking animals to court. And bearing in

257
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mind that, you know, those countries are the ones that

258
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went and you know, spread to other countries. So I'm

259
00:21:33.880 --> 00:21:37.480
sure this stuff probably also went on in America, possibly

260
00:21:37.480 --> 00:21:46.079
went on in Australia as well. So yeah, wow, So

261
00:21:47.799 --> 00:21:52.319
pigs top the list of pigs. Why did pigs get

262
00:21:52.519 --> 00:21:56.839
such a hard time? Pigs top the list of offenders

263
00:21:57.240 --> 00:22:02.160
due to free Roman pigs often called and problems actually

264
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you know, maybe hurting people accidentally or damaging property. I'm

265
00:22:07.119 --> 00:22:09.519
gonna water down some of the stuff that it says here,

266
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so I just should point out I've got this list

267
00:22:12.480 --> 00:22:20.119
from chat gpt dot com. Don't take any of it's true,

268
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and I'm gonna I'm gonna make it if there's anything

269
00:22:26.079 --> 00:22:29.240
that's a little bit horrible, I'm gonna even not mention it,

270
00:22:29.359 --> 00:22:37.559
or I will i will make it more palatable. Okay, Yeah,

271
00:22:37.640 --> 00:22:39.920
pigs do get a bad time, and the amount of

272
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people say, oh, don't eat pigg as a dirty animal,

273
00:22:43.039 --> 00:22:48.839
name a clean one name, one clean animal, including humans.

274
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None a clean We have points where we are clean.

275
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I'm sure pig is clean, and it's been raining and

276
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it's been rolling around in the rain and mud. But

277
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you know, in thirteen seventy nine, so pigs that's unfortunately

278
00:23:11.640 --> 00:23:14.279
caused a lot of problems for a particular man in

279
00:23:14.359 --> 00:23:26.039
France were tried, even in court, even pigs who merely witnessed. Really,

280
00:23:27.319 --> 00:23:31.839
even pigs who are who merely witnessed the incident were

281
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judged guilty. Wow, that that's mind blowing, isn't it. So

282
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one thing charging a pig because it stampeded or whatever,

283
00:23:49.400 --> 00:23:53.240
and it got out of hand and it caused serious

284
00:23:53.279 --> 00:23:56.839
problems for someone. But because other pigs who just minded

285
00:23:56.839 --> 00:24:02.559
our own business, just sitting there a human role, you know,

286
00:24:05.160 --> 00:24:11.000
human sandwich with some eggs, and they had nothing to

287
00:24:11.039 --> 00:24:13.400
do with it. I was just watching what you like.

288
00:24:14.000 --> 00:24:16.680
So they're going to get in trouble as well. That

289
00:24:16.839 --> 00:24:28.359
doesn't seem fair. Some pigs were found guilty and sentenced

290
00:24:28.400 --> 00:24:36.440
to the worst sentence for eating a consecrated host. A

291
00:24:36.519 --> 00:24:43.440
consecrated host eating a concert, I don't know what that means.

292
00:24:43.920 --> 00:24:48.559
Friday was a serious aggravation. I don't even know what

293
00:24:48.599 --> 00:24:57.000
that means. Of course it concentrated, consecrated host. So so yeah,

294
00:24:57.160 --> 00:25:05.440
so not just sober aso. And she asked, is that

295
00:25:05.519 --> 00:25:08.559
really the name of a female pig? As she asks?

296
00:25:10.400 --> 00:25:13.799
She asked, She asked, sounds more like a donkey, didn't it,

297
00:25:14.200 --> 00:25:18.559
she asked? She asked as so? And as she asked,

298
00:25:18.599 --> 00:25:26.359
were condemned to be They were condemned on appeal, but

299
00:25:26.480 --> 00:25:30.640
on appeal they wouldn't. I'm not going to really this out.

300
00:25:32.000 --> 00:25:36.240
They basically were condemned to the worst punishment, but in

301
00:25:36.279 --> 00:25:44.240
the end they had a lesser punishment, so they really

302
00:25:44.279 --> 00:25:52.720
were being treated like humans. Dolphins were tried in Marcels

303
00:25:52.759 --> 00:26:01.680
in fifteen ninety six. Dolphins. What on earth has a

304
00:26:01.880 --> 00:26:15.799
can a dolphin? Do? I want to know? A drink? Ah.

305
00:26:16.319 --> 00:26:27.759
A Swiss town's donated moose was believed demonic townspeople. I

306
00:26:27.799 --> 00:26:29.960
can't something. This is horrible. I'll tell you what. This

307
00:26:30.119 --> 00:26:38.559
medieval people not nice. This is really I'm glad we've

308
00:26:38.559 --> 00:26:40.960
got laws now and this is when we had laws.

309
00:26:42.079 --> 00:26:45.039
But oh, anyway, I can't. I just want to say

310
00:26:45.039 --> 00:26:50.079
the word the sentence. A Swiss town's donated moose was

311
00:26:50.119 --> 00:26:59.680
believed dymnomic, denomic, demonic. Okay, weasels, horses, eels, bulls, dogs, sheep.

312
00:27:00.079 --> 00:27:12.519
Even rats and locusts faced trials in medieval Europe. Even locusts,

313
00:27:15.640 --> 00:27:20.920
you would think, wouldn't you. I'm just thinking possibly, So

314
00:27:20.960 --> 00:27:27.920
you've got a locust, one locust, all the hassle. I mean,

315
00:27:28.000 --> 00:27:33.960
how did that even go? How many people were involved

316
00:27:34.279 --> 00:27:40.240
in the trial. Another question comes to mind, how much

317
00:27:40.440 --> 00:27:44.960
time did these people have on their hands to be

318
00:27:45.079 --> 00:27:52.200
taken a rat the trial or an e an eel?

319
00:27:53.799 --> 00:28:00.000
I wonder what that got in trouble for trial record

320
00:28:00.039 --> 00:28:06.599
towards show that all this stuff was going on, and

321
00:28:06.640 --> 00:28:10.240
it persisted into the mid eighteenth century where they were

322
00:28:10.279 --> 00:28:16.559
actually sentenced to perish, all the way to mid eighteenth

323
00:28:16.640 --> 00:28:24.680
century and in some cases early twentieth century. If I

324
00:28:24.720 --> 00:28:29.079
was living somewhere and suddenly a chicken was on trial,

325
00:28:31.920 --> 00:28:36.519
I couldn't move. I would move as soon as possible.

326
00:28:38.000 --> 00:28:40.880
Oh this is something, Yeah, this is something I actually believe,

327
00:28:41.359 --> 00:28:52.359
because this is such a kind of human stupidity that, oh,

328
00:28:52.640 --> 00:28:56.039
I just could just imagine that this is true. So

329
00:28:56.160 --> 00:29:05.359
back in fourteen seventy four, fourteen seventy four, in Basil,

330
00:29:07.200 --> 00:29:13.960
a rooster was prosecuted for laying an extra large egg.

331
00:29:18.839 --> 00:29:26.480
An extra large egg because this rooster in fourteen seventy

332
00:29:26.519 --> 00:29:35.960
four was deemed unnatural and demonic. Wow, and you know

333
00:29:36.079 --> 00:29:52.920
there's probably still people today. I still believe that they're

334
00:29:52.920 --> 00:29:54.680
the ones that need to be up for court. They

335
00:29:54.680 --> 00:29:57.240
need to be they need to be in court being

336
00:29:57.359 --> 00:30:01.720
judged and being sentenced. People are leave stuff like that. Wow,

337
00:30:04.119 --> 00:30:11.519
not the rooster. Absolutely ridiculous. And now the internet's just

338
00:30:11.559 --> 00:30:20.759
gone off brilliant, Great, what has it going off? There

339
00:30:20.799 --> 00:30:27.200
was no need for that. Okay, I got it back.

340
00:30:29.599 --> 00:30:31.759
I don't know why. I just pressed the wrong button.

341
00:30:32.480 --> 00:30:37.039
I pressed the wrong button. It's not the first time

342
00:30:37.480 --> 00:30:46.559
I'm able to find the button. Now. Ecclesiastic excommunications vermin

343
00:30:46.680 --> 00:30:58.000
courts in brackets. Okay, here we go. Courts enrolled insects, rats, locusts,

344
00:30:59.039 --> 00:31:22.880
and weavils as defendants in ecclesiastic trials. I I mean,

345
00:31:22.920 --> 00:31:26.839
it's all ridiculous, but insects. But then it's no more

346
00:31:26.920 --> 00:31:30.279
ridiculous than the rats or locusts or weavils. I don't

347
00:31:30.319 --> 00:31:41.400
know what weavil is h But there's one thing prosecuting

348
00:31:41.680 --> 00:31:46.839
an animal because you know, technically they can just sit

349
00:31:46.920 --> 00:31:50.680
there and be accused and just keep quiet. They don't

350
00:31:50.720 --> 00:31:54.519
necessarily have to do anything, and it's maybe up to

351
00:31:54.599 --> 00:32:09.759
the lawyer to do a defense. But a defendant has

352
00:32:09.799 --> 00:32:17.200
to kind of talk, don't they? So how how how

353
00:32:17.480 --> 00:32:29.440
how how ah how this this is weird. In fifteen

354
00:32:29.680 --> 00:32:36.240
eighty seven, weavils again, I don't know what weavil is?

355
00:32:36.240 --> 00:32:39.319
Is it like a weasel? I don't know? V shaped

356
00:32:39.319 --> 00:32:47.359
weasel in Saint Julian, France were presented by a lawyer

357
00:32:47.640 --> 00:32:55.279
argued to have divine protection. Okay, I'm not quite sure

358
00:32:55.319 --> 00:33:05.359
what divine protection is, but I'm guessing it's it's quite

359
00:33:05.359 --> 00:33:09.160
a good thing to have. Maybe, I mean divine protection.

360
00:33:09.279 --> 00:33:11.640
That sounds like something that you'd quite want to have.

361
00:33:11.720 --> 00:33:18.400
Isn't it more powerful than a seatbelt? Possibly? Oh? That's

362
00:33:18.440 --> 00:33:29.880
that in my eye? And I haven't right what's next?

363
00:33:31.559 --> 00:33:34.000
It's hard to have any commentary on this because the

364
00:33:34.119 --> 00:33:47.000
sentences are just ridiculous in themselves. The judge ruled in absentia,

365
00:33:48.119 --> 00:34:00.079
final verdict lost to time, destroyed by rats or bucks. Okay,

366
00:34:00.920 --> 00:34:06.440
excommunication and athema was used to banish pets rather than

367
00:34:06.519 --> 00:34:17.440
kill them. That's good, that's nice. So animals were excommunicated.

368
00:34:17.719 --> 00:34:20.800
I mean, that's just assuming that the rats and the

369
00:34:20.840 --> 00:34:24.960
bugs and the ants and all that stuff that were

370
00:34:24.960 --> 00:34:28.159
in the church were there to pray for the sermon,

371
00:34:28.719 --> 00:34:37.719
as opposed to maybe that's where they lived. When you've

372
00:34:37.719 --> 00:34:40.199
got to be pretty pretty, pretty proud of yourself, and

373
00:34:40.239 --> 00:34:44.679
you have to be pretty pretty popular if not just

374
00:34:44.880 --> 00:34:47.840
the humans turn up at your sermon, but all the

375
00:34:47.880 --> 00:34:54.639
animals flock in as well, it's the new Noah. Maybe

376
00:34:55.719 --> 00:35:05.039
courts ordered locusts to depart a region, kay Okay. Courts

377
00:35:05.159 --> 00:35:10.000
ordered locusts to depart a region by a certain date

378
00:35:10.199 --> 00:35:16.840
and time or face excommunication. How what did they put

379
00:35:16.880 --> 00:35:20.119
up signs? They send a letter in the post, send

380
00:35:20.119 --> 00:35:25.840
an email? I mean what what? What? There was a

381
00:35:25.880 --> 00:35:30.920
Facebook group locusts Facebook group, and they just posted on there.

382
00:35:31.239 --> 00:35:33.199
You got to be out of here by this time,

383
00:35:33.719 --> 00:35:43.880
otherwise you're going to be excommunicated. M I didn't think that.

384
00:35:46.719 --> 00:35:50.960
I didn't think that religions back in them days believed

385
00:35:51.000 --> 00:35:58.119
that insects got to go to heaven anyway, Maybe I'm wrong.

386
00:36:01.480 --> 00:36:08.000
In fifteen forty five, public prayers were held to coerce

387
00:36:08.880 --> 00:36:14.880
weavils away. Miraculously, the infestation ended. It just shows you

388
00:36:14.960 --> 00:36:18.119
that it works, doesn't it. So stop mocking it. Stop

389
00:36:18.159 --> 00:36:21.840
mocking all these and I'm trying to I'm trying to

390
00:36:22.039 --> 00:36:29.320
educate you. Let me educate you. I'm trying to teach

391
00:36:29.360 --> 00:36:38.960
you something. Stop mocking some of the greatest factual facts

392
00:36:39.079 --> 00:36:50.239
of our history. Legal principles and implications. Animal trials treated

393
00:36:50.360 --> 00:37:01.559
creatures as moral agents, capable of intent. Yeah, I'll find

394
00:37:01.559 --> 00:37:05.239
it animal. I mean, animals can be crafty. Vinnie is

395
00:37:05.519 --> 00:37:10.760
very crafty. He knows what he wants and he will

396
00:37:10.800 --> 00:37:15.800
pretend to do stuff to get there. So he'll pretend

397
00:37:15.800 --> 00:37:19.400
to be eating something off the floor because he's waiting

398
00:37:19.440 --> 00:37:22.400
to see what the dog was coming closer, to see

399
00:37:22.400 --> 00:37:29.880
what kind of dog is. He's very very crafty. I

400
00:37:29.920 --> 00:37:33.639
actually saw him once and he was like pretending because

401
00:37:33.639 --> 00:37:36.719
he didn't want to leave the park. So what he

402
00:37:36.840 --> 00:37:39.159
was doing, I was chucking the ball. This is when

403
00:37:39.159 --> 00:37:40.960
I was able to let him off the lead, because

404
00:37:40.960 --> 00:37:46.440
I was chucking the ball nearer to the exit of

405
00:37:46.480 --> 00:37:48.599
the park so that he'd run and get it, and

406
00:37:48.599 --> 00:37:50.039
then eventually I just put him on the lead and

407
00:37:50.039 --> 00:37:57.280
will go out. He was grabbing it and instead of

408
00:37:57.320 --> 00:37:59.960
bringing it back to me, he ran right past me,

409
00:38:00.400 --> 00:38:05.360
and he dropped it further in the park because he

410
00:38:05.440 --> 00:38:11.920
knew I was trying to get him away from the park.

411
00:38:12.719 --> 00:38:17.159
I've literally seen him, all right. I've chucked food on

412
00:38:17.199 --> 00:38:21.719
the floor for him to try and find. And what

413
00:38:21.800 --> 00:38:25.760
he does is once once he found it, he chews

414
00:38:25.760 --> 00:38:27.360
it and he looks up at me for the next one.

415
00:38:29.039 --> 00:38:33.199
On this particular occasion, I could see where it went,

416
00:38:34.679 --> 00:38:37.639
but he didn't see where it went, and he couldn't

417
00:38:37.639 --> 00:38:42.639
find it. He ran in a completely different direction. He

418
00:38:42.800 --> 00:38:46.880
pretended to eat a tree and then looked at me

419
00:38:47.079 --> 00:38:51.360
ready for the next one. He hadn't eaten anything. He

420
00:38:51.480 --> 00:38:55.599
just pretended, and I could see the tree, I could

421
00:38:55.599 --> 00:38:57.920
see the tree on the floor, and I could also

422
00:38:58.039 --> 00:39:00.760
see all the grass was short. I don't know how

423
00:39:00.760 --> 00:39:03.480
he missed it to be forever, there was nothing there.

424
00:39:04.320 --> 00:39:07.159
He was just pretending to eat it because he couldn't

425
00:39:07.199 --> 00:39:17.880
be bothered to search for the other one. Devious judges

426
00:39:18.079 --> 00:39:28.920
and clergy genuinely applied human justice to animals, not all

427
00:39:29.000 --> 00:39:41.800
satire or folklore. Wow. Legal records from France are some

428
00:39:41.840 --> 00:39:49.559
of the best preserved. That's nice. Great cases raised foundational questions.

429
00:39:50.280 --> 00:39:54.960
If animals can be guilty, Must they also have rights?

430
00:39:55.880 --> 00:40:06.440
Bar bar bar bar bar. That's a good point. Yeah,

431
00:40:06.480 --> 00:40:12.199
if someone must have by the law, then surely they

432
00:40:12.320 --> 00:40:20.079
must be part of society, So you'd think they have

433
00:40:20.239 --> 00:40:30.800
equal rights to society like everyone else in it. Trials

434
00:40:31.000 --> 00:40:45.400
blurred lines between superstition, theology, and secular laws. It's the

435
00:40:45.480 --> 00:40:52.800
thing is theology, religion, belief systems, A lot of it

436
00:40:52.840 --> 00:40:59.000
comes from superstition anyway, So you know, believing in something

437
00:40:59.039 --> 00:41:01.920
that you can't prove and believing in it that's almost

438
00:41:01.960 --> 00:41:08.079
kind of isn't that the meaning of superstition? So I

439
00:41:08.119 --> 00:41:17.719
don't know, I believe. Yeah, I like to call it

440
00:41:17.920 --> 00:41:24.320
stupid stition, So I'm not superstitious. I actually sat on

441
00:41:24.320 --> 00:41:27.320
the bus with someone with someone that was on the

442
00:41:27.320 --> 00:41:31.239
bus with like traveling together. I'm not I mean there

443
00:41:31.280 --> 00:41:35.280
was other people on the bus as well. She saw,

444
00:41:38.519 --> 00:41:49.679
what's those birds that steal stuff? Not goldie locks, not hens, sparrows, blackbirds,

445
00:41:50.679 --> 00:42:07.519
blue tits, red tits, yellow tits, big and what's where

446
00:42:07.639 --> 00:42:09.760
is it going? What are they called? The ones are

447
00:42:09.800 --> 00:42:19.000
not wrens, not falcons, sparrows, those birds that you suppose anyway,

448
00:42:20.440 --> 00:42:22.679
She saw these two birds together and she got up

449
00:42:22.719 --> 00:42:26.320
and she saluted out of the window who was on

450
00:42:26.360 --> 00:42:29.239
a bus. And she stood up face towards the window

451
00:42:29.360 --> 00:42:39.480
to where these two birds were and she saluted. It's

452
00:42:39.599 --> 00:42:47.000
among the most embarrassing moments of my life. I just thought,

453
00:42:47.159 --> 00:42:57.559
you know what that is. It became it became a

454
00:42:57.639 --> 00:43:01.320
passion of mine to not have any superstition after that,

455
00:43:01.840 --> 00:43:06.840
because it was ridiculous, the idea of because I used

456
00:43:06.840 --> 00:43:12.519
to be a bit superstitious, and mainly because my life

457
00:43:12.679 --> 00:43:16.199
was so rubbish at a time when I was like

458
00:43:16.239 --> 00:43:17.960
a kid, when I was you know, when I was

459
00:43:18.000 --> 00:43:23.039
like a late teenager at sixteen or whatever, and then

460
00:43:23.079 --> 00:43:25.159
people would say, well, don't walk on the cracks on

461
00:43:25.199 --> 00:43:27.960
the floor on the ground, the cracks in the pavement

462
00:43:28.119 --> 00:43:30.840
or the concrete, because that's bad luck or whatever. And

463
00:43:30.880 --> 00:43:32.920
I thought, well, I don't want any worse luck than

464
00:43:33.079 --> 00:43:35.639
was happening already, so I would try to avoid it

465
00:43:36.840 --> 00:43:39.280
things like that, and I started to kind of buy

466
00:43:39.360 --> 00:43:47.000
into someone that crap. And then as I got older,

467
00:43:47.079 --> 00:43:55.360
I become more educated and realized that it's just absolute nonsense, obviously,

468
00:43:57.320 --> 00:44:01.840
but also realizing that belief that stuff can have an

469
00:44:01.840 --> 00:44:08.760
effect on people because belief is super powerful, one of

470
00:44:08.800 --> 00:44:14.199
the most powerful things that we have. That's why having

471
00:44:14.239 --> 00:44:21.559
a lucky object, a lucky token, or a lucky souvenir

472
00:44:21.679 --> 00:44:29.159
or whatever in itself does nothing, but to a person's

473
00:44:29.199 --> 00:44:33.440
mind can do everything. So if a person really believes

474
00:44:33.519 --> 00:44:40.079
that by having that lucky I don't know, a lucky

475
00:44:40.119 --> 00:44:44.440
condom in their pocket, lucky use condom in their pocket,

476
00:44:44.599 --> 00:44:47.920
they might actually or hanging off their ear. They might

477
00:44:48.480 --> 00:44:54.960
it might help them with their university exam, or it

478
00:44:55.079 --> 00:45:05.079
might give them more confidence on a first date, wearing

479
00:45:05.159 --> 00:45:11.920
your wearing your lucky set of underpants, the ones that

480
00:45:11.960 --> 00:45:17.679
you've been wearing for thirty five years. Why don't you

481
00:45:17.800 --> 00:45:22.119
wash them? Dad? Wash out the luck? The luck's in

482
00:45:22.159 --> 00:45:28.440
the dirt with this unlucky how come you never ever

483
00:45:28.519 --> 00:45:32.199
get a second date? I don't want to talk about it.

484
00:45:34.960 --> 00:45:39.880
So it's weird, though, isn't it. You know, when you've

485
00:45:39.920 --> 00:45:44.519
got like a really really you got a lucky thing.

486
00:45:47.119 --> 00:45:49.880
I mean by this, what did I have? This lucky

487
00:45:49.880 --> 00:45:52.679
little mouse is a wooden mouse, and I had it.

488
00:45:52.800 --> 00:45:56.119
I had little tail, it was wooden and that was

489
00:45:56.119 --> 00:46:00.199
my lucky charm. And I'd go on dates and I

490
00:46:00.239 --> 00:46:02.679
was telling people like my friends that's my lucky chant,

491
00:46:03.199 --> 00:46:06.639
and I'll take it on all my dates. And they said, well, come,

492
00:46:06.639 --> 00:46:10.000
no one wants to see you again afterwards, and I said,

493
00:46:10.800 --> 00:46:14.480
I don't know. Well I left. I started leaving at home.

494
00:46:14.760 --> 00:46:18.119
It turned out it was my personality nothing, you know.

495
00:46:19.039 --> 00:46:20.679
It was because I started to think it maybe it

496
00:46:20.760 --> 00:46:22.199
was bad luck for me, but it wasn't. It was

497
00:46:22.239 --> 00:46:25.039
just my personality that was stopping people from one to

498
00:46:25.079 --> 00:46:33.400
see me again. I remember waiting to I went to

499
00:46:33.440 --> 00:46:40.760
the cinema with someone. I was sixteen at the time.

500
00:46:40.800 --> 00:46:46.599
I think maybe seventeen, sixteen ish, maybe fifteen, even sixteen,

501
00:46:46.639 --> 00:46:50.639
I think sixteen. I don't remember the girl I went

502
00:46:50.679 --> 00:46:55.000
to the cinema with. I asked to go to the

503
00:46:55.039 --> 00:46:59.320
cinema and she said yes. For some reason. All I

504
00:46:59.360 --> 00:47:03.840
know is yes. I thought she liked me. We sat

505
00:47:03.920 --> 00:47:08.000
down to watch the movie. All I did was put

506
00:47:08.039 --> 00:47:10.920
my I put my hand on a knee. Literally, it

507
00:47:11.000 --> 00:47:14.159
was like just gently. I didn't like plunk it down.

508
00:47:15.079 --> 00:47:18.800
And I wasn't wearing a big heavy metal glove or

509
00:47:18.800 --> 00:47:21.960
anything like that, A Gordon. It wasn't anything weird. That

510
00:47:22.119 --> 00:47:27.360
just just put my hand on a knee, and I

511
00:47:27.400 --> 00:47:34.480
guess trying to be romantic even though there's no enjoyment

512
00:47:34.519 --> 00:47:36.400
for me putting my hand on a knee that I

513
00:47:36.400 --> 00:47:38.639
didn't get anything out of that. They never have never

514
00:47:38.679 --> 00:47:41.360
It's like bone, isn't it? Or did you get how

515
00:47:41.400 --> 00:47:43.000
did you get on last night? Or I felt one

516
00:47:43.039 --> 00:47:45.320
of her bones? It was lovely.

517
00:47:45.719 --> 00:47:55.280
Oh oh that's not like oh maybe tomorrow shall blow

518
00:47:55.760 --> 00:47:56.400
blow on me.

519
00:47:56.920 --> 00:48:01.280
I can get to smell her breath just eating some garlic,

520
00:48:01.400 --> 00:48:05.000
Oh that would be good. Or no, it's like it

521
00:48:05.119 --> 00:48:10.199
was a bone and knees not. I suppose some people

522
00:48:10.400 --> 00:48:13.360
like knees, but it is just a bit of gristle,

523
00:48:13.400 --> 00:48:20.280
isn't it. Ultimately it's not it's nothing. I've never looked

524
00:48:20.280 --> 00:48:27.199
at a knee and for oh yeah, oh it never

525
00:48:27.320 --> 00:48:32.400
never had never happened. Oh oh, I can't concentrate on anything.

526
00:48:32.679 --> 00:48:34.719
It's just there's a knee. You cover your knee up.

527
00:48:34.760 --> 00:48:38.719
I can't concentrate. Yeah. Well that was the end of

528
00:48:38.760 --> 00:48:43.760
my paramedic career. They you know, it's good to find

529
00:48:43.760 --> 00:48:47.000
out in training, isn't it. I had had a thing

530
00:48:47.039 --> 00:48:54.239
for knees. No, no, I don't. I just like I

531
00:48:54.280 --> 00:48:56.760
didn't know how to act by it back then. I

532
00:48:56.800 --> 00:48:59.239
didn't know what to do. I didn't know what the

533
00:48:59.360 --> 00:49:04.039
correct way to be on a first date was. I

534
00:49:04.079 --> 00:49:08.400
was a teenager and there was no there was no

535
00:49:08.599 --> 00:49:14.599
training for that stuff, no training whatsoever. And this guesswork.

536
00:49:16.039 --> 00:49:18.039
I guess it still is. I mean, I haven't had

537
00:49:18.039 --> 00:49:26.920
a date for long time, long, long, long time, so

538
00:49:27.119 --> 00:49:31.320
long that I cannot remember the last time I went

539
00:49:31.400 --> 00:49:36.199
on a date. Yes I can the last time I

540
00:49:36.280 --> 00:49:45.920
went on a date where it actually went somewhere? Is

541
00:49:45.960 --> 00:49:48.039
it does a date? It doesn't have to mean going somewhere,

542
00:49:48.039 --> 00:49:48.400
does it?

543
00:49:49.039 --> 00:49:49.119
So?

544
00:49:50.199 --> 00:49:52.159
I had a friend come around here once and that

545
00:49:52.239 --> 00:49:56.599
wasn't really a date. Was it someone that I kind

546
00:49:56.599 --> 00:49:59.159
of knew a bit. I did have a date with

547
00:49:59.239 --> 00:50:02.440
someone that spent all week talking to her on the phone.

548
00:50:03.119 --> 00:50:07.320
And she's someone that I'd known for a while, and

549
00:50:07.440 --> 00:50:10.840
she was talking about having babies and we were talking

550
00:50:10.840 --> 00:50:13.679
about building a life together, which is kind of weird.

551
00:50:13.719 --> 00:50:17.239
I don't know if it felt like things are going

552
00:50:17.320 --> 00:50:20.199
quite well. And then I go around to see her

553
00:50:20.239 --> 00:50:24.000
on Sunday and it was almost like it was a

554
00:50:24.039 --> 00:50:28.400
different person. It was like there was nothing there, There

555
00:50:28.480 --> 00:50:33.199
was no like she wasn't human. It's weird, not in

556
00:50:33.199 --> 00:50:36.480
a bad way. There's no good way to say that.

557
00:50:37.360 --> 00:50:41.800
But it seemed like she was like there was nothing

558
00:50:42.559 --> 00:50:53.320
there inside. She looked the same, but a little bit like, oh,

559
00:50:54.239 --> 00:50:57.159
body snatches, remember the body snatches movies. It was a

560
00:50:57.159 --> 00:50:59.760
little bit like that. That's what she looked like. Like

561
00:50:59.800 --> 00:51:06.880
she just what strange because I spent the afternoon with

562
00:51:06.960 --> 00:51:13.880
our and she gave me soup. Soup that was my dinner.

563
00:51:14.000 --> 00:51:17.800
Soup a growing lad of forty. You don't give a

564
00:51:17.800 --> 00:51:20.880
grown lad of forty one or forty two wherever I

565
00:51:21.039 --> 00:51:25.119
was soup. Don't give someone who's fifty nine soup. That's

566
00:51:25.119 --> 00:51:31.920
not a dinner. It's a drink. It. I mean, it's

567
00:51:31.920 --> 00:51:35.280
a starter for a reason, isn't it. Although I prefer

568
00:51:35.840 --> 00:51:38.960
I wouldn't have soup as a starter. If I was

569
00:51:39.000 --> 00:51:44.960
going to have a starter, it'd be I don't know

570
00:51:44.960 --> 00:51:48.360
what choices arees make me hungry? Now I really do

571
00:51:48.480 --> 00:51:56.960
need to have a meal one day, Oh I what

572
00:51:57.000 --> 00:52:03.239
would be a good starter. I took Uncle sausages my

573
00:52:04.079 --> 00:52:09.159
tomato catch up yesterday and now I've got no tomato

574
00:52:09.280 --> 00:52:21.679
catch up. Damn him, damn it. Yes, And it was

575
00:52:21.719 --> 00:52:23.760
at one point and I'm just sitting there with her

576
00:52:23.840 --> 00:52:28.400
inner flat this this lady that I was. I thought

577
00:52:28.440 --> 00:52:35.039
there was something going on between us, and it was

578
00:52:35.559 --> 00:52:39.119
flat that like the energy was like no energy there.

579
00:52:40.039 --> 00:52:47.199
There was a bit of energy, but not from her side,

580
00:52:47.920 --> 00:52:49.760
and I didn't know what to do. It was just

581
00:52:49.960 --> 00:52:56.239
really weird. There was Yeah. In the end, I just left,

582
00:52:58.039 --> 00:52:59.840
well I had to leave eventually, didn't I ever was

583
00:52:59.880 --> 00:53:09.719
a couldn't make this podcast fifteen years later. It's very strange.

584
00:53:10.280 --> 00:53:13.239
But anyway, I touched, you know, I was when I

585
00:53:13.280 --> 00:53:17.719
was I was a kid myself. I touched this the

586
00:53:17.840 --> 00:53:20.880
knee of the person I was in the cinema with.

587
00:53:23.719 --> 00:53:28.239
She picked my hand up and dropped it back on

588
00:53:28.320 --> 00:53:36.920
my lapt my hand. That's when I realized, first of all,

589
00:53:39.280 --> 00:53:43.280
well either one or two really well, first of all,

590
00:53:43.679 --> 00:53:48.920
we were never going to get married, me and that lady. Secondly,

591
00:53:51.320 --> 00:53:56.679
the girl who went to the cinema with was sitting

592
00:53:56.719 --> 00:54:00.599
on the other side of me, and I touched a me. No,

593
00:54:01.079 --> 00:54:04.360
I just it just didn't work. It's just just like wow,

594
00:54:05.519 --> 00:54:09.800
to the point that I've kind of almost erased who

595
00:54:09.840 --> 00:54:11.440
she was. I don't know who she was. I can't

596
00:54:11.440 --> 00:54:21.800
remember such a long time ago. What was I talking

597
00:54:21.840 --> 00:54:24.000
about I have really bad dates. I don't know why.

598
00:54:26.639 --> 00:54:28.280
It wasn't a bad date, it was just like a

599
00:54:28.320 --> 00:54:32.960
non date. Another one I've gone. This is a thing

600
00:54:33.079 --> 00:54:35.519
I had this when I worked in a co op.

601
00:54:36.679 --> 00:54:41.920
I had a female walk into the shop and I

602
00:54:41.960 --> 00:54:44.719
was behind the counter, so I was in there every day, well,

603
00:54:45.880 --> 00:54:49.679
five six days a week or whatever. She walked in,

604
00:54:50.559 --> 00:54:58.559
hand me a note, looked me in the eyes, and

605
00:54:58.599 --> 00:55:04.360
then walked out. She knew my name, so I guess

606
00:55:04.400 --> 00:55:07.800
I had a name badge on and stuff. So I

607
00:55:07.880 --> 00:55:10.559
read it and she said how lovely I was, and

608
00:55:10.599 --> 00:55:13.960
she really fancied me. Bearing in mind, she was seeing

609
00:55:13.960 --> 00:55:16.320
me during the day, so it's not like she was

610
00:55:16.360 --> 00:55:19.000
seeing me at night when the lighting was good and

611
00:55:19.039 --> 00:55:22.360
it made me look human. She saw me during the

612
00:55:22.440 --> 00:55:29.440
daytime and it was all romantic. I really like you,

613
00:55:29.480 --> 00:55:32.519
and I see you every day and I'd love to

614
00:55:32.559 --> 00:55:35.679
sort of get together. And she wrote down a telephone number,

615
00:55:35.719 --> 00:55:44.719
anna address, and her name, so I called her up.

616
00:55:46.039 --> 00:55:50.239
So I thought, anyone that does that deserves I thought

617
00:55:50.360 --> 00:55:55.159
I'd see her because I deserved to be rejected in person. No,

618
00:55:55.960 --> 00:56:01.239
anyone that goes to that effort deserves not to be ignored.

619
00:56:01.559 --> 00:56:04.360
Because that's that's a that's a be old thing to do,

620
00:56:04.400 --> 00:56:07.519
isn't it, to like go to that effort and to

621
00:56:07.599 --> 00:56:12.719
walk up to someone like that. So I phoned her

622
00:56:12.840 --> 00:56:19.679
up in the morning the next day, I think it

623
00:56:19.719 --> 00:56:24.920
was Saturday morning. So I did it wrong. Well, I

624
00:56:24.920 --> 00:56:27.639
didn't do it wrong. I mean I did didn't try

625
00:56:27.679 --> 00:56:33.280
and use my needs to dull the phone. I did.

626
00:56:33.039 --> 00:56:35.360
I phoned everything that normal. That's when we used to

627
00:56:35.360 --> 00:56:41.360
have those turney phones, you know, a spiral things. I

628
00:56:41.440 --> 00:56:49.559
used to like them. And she invited me around, so

629
00:56:49.599 --> 00:56:52.039
I went round. She was in the middle of getting

630
00:56:52.079 --> 00:56:56.199
ready for probably work actually, so she was getting ready

631
00:56:56.239 --> 00:56:58.000
to go to I think she probably had a retail

632
00:56:58.079 --> 00:57:06.280
job herself in town, and she was doing her hair

633
00:57:06.480 --> 00:57:13.480
and I just it was like there was nothing to

634
00:57:13.519 --> 00:57:17.360
talk about. It was the wrong scenario for us to

635
00:57:17.400 --> 00:57:20.639
get to know each other while she was drying her

636
00:57:20.719 --> 00:57:27.880
hair and I was just sitting there on the edge

637
00:57:27.880 --> 00:57:39.719
of her bed. Honestly, it was so awkward there In

638
00:57:39.719 --> 00:57:42.480
the end, I just said see her, and she said bye,

639
00:57:42.599 --> 00:57:45.360
and I never saw her again. She never came back

640
00:57:45.360 --> 00:57:48.599
in the supermarket. I never saw her again. There was

641
00:57:50.280 --> 00:57:53.480
it could have been a lovely marriage. We could have

642
00:57:53.599 --> 00:57:55.480
had kids and everything. You know, it could have been,

643
00:57:56.400 --> 00:57:59.719
could have, could have would have you know, but there

644
00:57:59.760 --> 00:58:08.360
was some reason I just you know, I mean, basically

645
00:58:08.360 --> 00:58:10.760
the ball was in my court, wasn't it almost like

646
00:58:11.519 --> 00:58:16.920
this was? It was really I was in a good position.

647
00:58:17.440 --> 00:58:21.000
She told me she liked me, she'd write a letter

648
00:58:21.320 --> 00:58:25.239
to me. So all I had to do really is

649
00:58:25.360 --> 00:58:31.639
just be there, just turn up. But not when she's

650
00:58:31.679 --> 00:58:35.840
getting ready, not. You know, that's just a weird time

651
00:58:35.920 --> 00:58:38.639
to be going around someone's house, especially when I had

652
00:58:38.679 --> 00:58:42.880
to get to work, and also going around her house.

653
00:58:42.920 --> 00:58:45.320
But it wasn't a good idea, you know. I mean,

654
00:58:45.360 --> 00:58:50.440
she invited me, but it would have been unless I

655
00:58:50.559 --> 00:58:53.000
just turned up. No, I did know she invited me.

656
00:58:54.960 --> 00:58:57.760
You know, it would have gone out and got to

657
00:58:57.800 --> 00:59:03.440
know each other. It might have been well, it couldn't

658
00:59:03.440 --> 00:59:08.360
have been worse than what it was. And then there

659
00:59:08.360 --> 00:59:16.199
was another woman, another lady. I asked her out. She

660
00:59:16.360 --> 00:59:19.960
worked in an estate agent, no, in her travel agency.

661
00:59:20.159 --> 00:59:23.199
I asked her out in front of all her friends,

662
00:59:24.159 --> 00:59:30.760
her colleagues. I don't know where I've got the confidence

663
00:59:30.800 --> 00:59:33.239
to do that, but I did. I did it. I'd

664
00:59:33.280 --> 00:59:35.679
met her before a couple of nights before because she

665
00:59:35.760 --> 00:59:38.119
broke down in a car and me and my friend

666
00:59:38.280 --> 00:59:40.960
came to a rescue. So my friend was driving. I

667
00:59:41.079 --> 00:59:44.199
was a passenger and we got talking to her and

668
00:59:44.239 --> 00:59:46.239
she'd said where she worked, and I just popped in

669
00:59:46.280 --> 00:59:48.679
and say hello, and I asked her out on a

670
00:59:48.760 --> 00:59:54.480
date and she said yes. So instead of saying brilliant, okay,

671
00:59:55.599 --> 01:00:05.519
what's your number and then leaving, which is what I

672
01:00:05.519 --> 01:00:08.880
should have done, I should have just left. No, that's

673
01:00:08.960 --> 01:00:11.320
not what I did. I settled in for the afternoon

674
01:00:13.639 --> 01:00:19.519
and I didn't stop talking for probably two hours, talking

675
01:00:19.559 --> 01:00:25.239
to the other members of staff, being silly, being very childish,

676
01:00:25.239 --> 01:00:28.840
because I was very childish. Hard to believe I was

677
01:00:28.840 --> 01:00:37.280
ever childish. Yeah, I think maybe it isn't. After about

678
01:00:37.320 --> 01:00:40.719
three hours she said to me, I'll change my mind

679
01:00:43.039 --> 01:00:44.760
because it was just going to go to the cinema.

680
01:00:45.039 --> 01:00:49.800
I thought it was. It changed her mind. I said,

681
01:00:49.800 --> 01:00:52.400
did you hear about the knee incident? She said what?

682
01:00:52.719 --> 01:00:57.400
I said, nothing? Nothing, nothing, and she said no, and

683
01:00:57.440 --> 01:01:05.079
that was it done. Not good. So basically I did

684
01:01:05.199 --> 01:01:09.840
what is known in the sales world as over selling.

685
01:01:13.079 --> 01:01:18.079
So in sales I've read so many sales books so

686
01:01:18.079 --> 01:01:21.199
many years not anymore, but you know, back in the

687
01:01:21.320 --> 01:01:26.639
nineties and two thousands, and there's a thing that when

688
01:01:26.679 --> 01:01:33.039
you get to sell, that's your job done. Get the

689
01:01:33.119 --> 01:01:40.679
sale process to sale. Stop trying to sell. You don't

690
01:01:40.719 --> 01:01:43.000
need to sell anything. You don't need to sell. I mean,

691
01:01:43.039 --> 01:01:45.679
you can still be positive about it and like you know,

692
01:01:45.719 --> 01:01:53.519
but you don't need to sell once you're sold. And

693
01:01:53.559 --> 01:01:56.039
if you keep going on and on and on and on,

694
01:01:56.920 --> 01:01:59.599
potentially the person will just get fed up and change

695
01:01:59.639 --> 01:02:09.360
their mind. And this is what happened in this situation. Admittedly,

696
01:02:09.400 --> 01:02:14.199
the dancing didn't help, and the bagpipes I don't think

697
01:02:14.199 --> 01:02:16.760
they helped. I mean, you could say why did I

698
01:02:16.800 --> 01:02:21.400
have bagpipes on me? But I'm saying, you know, I

699
01:02:21.400 --> 01:02:25.159
always have this sign of idea, that this mentality of

700
01:02:25.480 --> 01:02:29.880
being prepared. You never know when you're going to need

701
01:02:29.920 --> 01:02:36.119
bagpipes or skis or a water pistol. You don't know

702
01:02:37.320 --> 01:02:44.800
what's going to be useful in any given situation. As

703
01:02:44.840 --> 01:02:47.480
it turned out, none of those things were useful in

704
01:02:47.519 --> 01:02:52.320
this particular situation, and haven't been particularly useful in any

705
01:02:52.360 --> 01:03:00.039
situation involving asking someone out for a date. Although I

706
01:02:59.880 --> 01:03:07.840
haven't asked anyone out for a dates since yeah, fifteen

707
01:03:07.920 --> 01:03:13.840
years really pretty much. Not really, yeah, because I've met

708
01:03:13.960 --> 01:03:16.159
a couple of people and it just kind of progressed

709
01:03:16.760 --> 01:03:20.840
from there, but I've never gone up to someone. There

710
01:03:20.960 --> 01:03:23.679
was someone I did ask out and she said, no,

711
01:03:25.320 --> 01:03:29.039
this is ironic. So there was someone I really I

712
01:03:29.079 --> 01:03:34.519
really felt I liked in the Buddhist Center and we

713
01:03:34.639 --> 01:03:37.079
got them really well, and I felt a real connection

714
01:03:37.199 --> 01:03:41.199
with her, so I asked her out. Basically she said, oh,

715
01:03:41.239 --> 01:03:45.039
I've got a boyfriend. I said, oh, you'll bring him

716
01:03:45.039 --> 01:03:48.559
along if you like. She laughed. I think if people

717
01:03:48.599 --> 01:03:53.360
think I'm joking sometimes, And that was it. Then I

718
01:03:53.400 --> 01:03:56.199
met someone else that I liked in the Buddhist Center.

719
01:03:56.239 --> 01:04:00.159
Then I didn't see her for ages, and then she

720
01:04:00.199 --> 01:04:02.239
turned up again, and that's the one that I went

721
01:04:02.280 --> 01:04:06.239
and had soup with. So I saw her that night.

722
01:04:06.880 --> 01:04:09.280
But then the other one turned up the same night.

723
01:04:09.840 --> 01:04:13.599
Hadn't seen either of them for months and months and months,

724
01:04:16.960 --> 01:04:22.039
so I'd already got like reconnected with the other one,

725
01:04:22.519 --> 01:04:28.559
the one that ended up giving me soup, and the

726
01:04:28.559 --> 01:04:33.039
one that was she had a body snatched invasion of

727
01:04:33.039 --> 01:04:36.519
the body snatches. That one so this other one, the

728
01:04:36.519 --> 01:04:40.360
one that i'd really liked before. She actually said, oh,

729
01:04:40.400 --> 01:04:42.320
we should go out sometime. I'll give him my number

730
01:04:42.360 --> 01:04:46.599
before we go. Before we finished the evening, I said, okay, cool.

731
01:04:47.119 --> 01:04:50.519
I just ignored it because I thought, well, not, I've

732
01:04:50.519 --> 01:04:54.320
got a date. Now, you had your chance, I thought

733
01:04:54.320 --> 01:05:07.880
to myself arrogantly. And I never saw either of them again. Wow,

734
01:05:08.599 --> 01:05:13.280
I actually did see I did see the soup lady.

735
01:05:13.400 --> 01:05:17.360
And I call a soup lady. She gave me. Yeah,

736
01:05:17.400 --> 01:05:22.480
she was in the town walking. She had like a

737
01:05:22.519 --> 01:05:28.880
suitcase with wheels or something. It's very awkward. It's like

738
01:05:29.039 --> 01:05:36.000
we almost banged into each other, all right. She started

739
01:05:36.039 --> 01:05:38.360
telling me where she was going, Like why, why are

740
01:05:38.360 --> 01:05:41.920
you telling me that? I didn't say that, but I

741
01:05:42.000 --> 01:05:49.960
kind of thought it was like, okay, oh, why see her?

742
01:05:51.000 --> 01:05:53.320
And I was just like, I haven't seen her since

743
01:05:53.400 --> 01:05:59.199
it's been fifteen over fifteen years. Why am I still

744
01:05:59.239 --> 01:06:03.840
thinking about people like that? I don't know, as I

745
01:06:03.840 --> 01:06:06.760
do know because the chance I might see her again soon,

746
01:06:08.119 --> 01:06:10.559
depending on her She still works where she used to work,

747
01:06:11.639 --> 01:06:14.559
but it's only because I'm perhaps going to have to

748
01:06:14.599 --> 01:06:19.079
go there this or I don't think she'd even remember

749
01:06:19.119 --> 01:06:24.639
me anyway, to be honest with you, I might not

750
01:06:24.719 --> 01:06:31.960
remember her. Then there was this other girl when I

751
01:06:32.000 --> 01:06:33.880
was in the co op. I've mentioned this before, but

752
01:06:35.800 --> 01:06:38.639
another situation. I don't know. I don't know if it's

753
01:06:38.639 --> 01:06:43.679
because I've got such a different Maybe I have a

754
01:06:43.679 --> 01:06:46.880
different personality when I'm on a date to what I

755
01:06:46.960 --> 01:06:51.519
have when I'm just myself. I work all day with

756
01:06:51.559 --> 01:06:55.559
this girl. She lived in a different town. I was seventeen,

757
01:06:55.840 --> 01:07:00.320
she was probably the same age, maybe sixteen. She was

758
01:07:00.360 --> 01:07:03.440
full time working in the co oper. She worked in

759
01:07:03.480 --> 01:07:07.039
a different town. She came just because we were short staffed,

760
01:07:09.280 --> 01:07:13.000
so I think the Yeah, I think the member of staff.

761
01:07:13.079 --> 01:07:14.920
The reason she came in because the member of staff

762
01:07:14.960 --> 01:07:21.159
that was there got sacked for stealing. She got called

763
01:07:21.159 --> 01:07:25.159
by the undercover police. She was the manager, so she

764
01:07:25.199 --> 01:07:28.800
got sacked. So they needed someone else to come in

765
01:07:28.840 --> 01:07:32.480
and just look after the tills and stuff. And there

766
01:07:32.559 --> 01:07:40.559
was two tills, was a free tills. I can't remember. Anyway,

767
01:07:40.800 --> 01:07:45.599
me and her gone really well, really well, and she

768
01:07:45.760 --> 01:07:52.400
was perfect for me in so many ways, Like she

769
01:07:52.559 --> 01:07:58.159
was funny, she laughed at my silly jokes, fancied though,

770
01:07:58.360 --> 01:08:01.719
and I'm sure she was beside with me. Why wouldn't

771
01:08:01.719 --> 01:08:06.440
she be, And she was sitting quite close to me,

772
01:08:06.559 --> 01:08:09.320
so my smell didn't put her off. So that's you know,

773
01:08:09.360 --> 01:08:15.280
it's a lot of bonuses there. And I didn't, I

774
01:08:15.280 --> 01:08:18.600
didn't hold in any parts. Still let them go. So

775
01:08:23.399 --> 01:08:27.000
and we arranged to see each other. Gave me an address,

776
01:08:27.119 --> 01:08:32.199
a telephone number, and planned for me to go around

777
01:08:32.239 --> 01:08:35.239
hers the next day. So this is on a Saturday,

778
01:08:37.560 --> 01:08:43.239
and I went around hers on a Sunday. In fact,

779
01:08:43.279 --> 01:08:46.800
we might have even spent two days together Friday and Saturday.

780
01:08:47.079 --> 01:08:50.720
Like it at work, we can't sell what we were

781
01:08:50.880 --> 01:08:54.319
laughing all day long, honestly had a really good time.

782
01:08:55.319 --> 01:08:58.439
So I go around her. Else the idea is to

783
01:08:58.439 --> 01:09:01.479
go out somewhere. I mean I was limited, bearing in

784
01:09:01.560 --> 01:09:04.159
mind that couldn't well, I didn't have much money. But

785
01:09:04.159 --> 01:09:08.760
it wasn't just that I didn't I couldn't go into

786
01:09:08.800 --> 01:09:15.399
pubs and get served because I looked about fifteen, maybe fourteen,

787
01:09:15.439 --> 01:09:20.520
even I looked much younger than I was, and so

788
01:09:20.600 --> 01:09:23.119
probably would have been just like walking around the streets.

789
01:09:23.159 --> 01:09:27.119
That probably would have been the date. Maybe a restaurant,

790
01:09:27.239 --> 01:09:33.720
you know, Indian restaurant or Chinese restaurant or something potentially,

791
01:09:34.079 --> 01:09:38.640
But it was a Sunday afternoon. Now back in nineteen

792
01:09:38.720 --> 01:09:43.800
eighty seven, was it. No, it's early nineteen eighty eight,

793
01:09:44.000 --> 01:09:49.960
about April or May, May, June time May. On a

794
01:09:50.000 --> 01:09:57.680
Sunday afternoon, nothing was open like you'd struggle to get anything.

795
01:09:58.119 --> 01:10:02.520
The pubs had a Sunday times, so they'd be open

796
01:10:02.680 --> 01:10:06.600
for a couple of hours at lunchtime and then open

797
01:10:06.680 --> 01:10:10.399
again in the evening for a few hours. There was

798
01:10:10.479 --> 01:10:15.479
no all day drinking like there is now ever, not

799
01:10:15.560 --> 01:10:22.920
even during the week. You could only buy things like

800
01:10:23.279 --> 01:10:29.079
alcohol and cigarettes and stuff during certain times of the day.

801
01:10:29.199 --> 01:10:31.520
I know it's weird, but that's how it used to

802
01:10:31.520 --> 01:10:36.039
be on a Sunday. The only shops that really opened.

803
01:10:36.479 --> 01:10:40.319
No supermarkets did. The only shops that opened back then

804
01:10:40.840 --> 01:10:43.199
where I lived Anyway, I'm sure it's different in London,

805
01:10:43.239 --> 01:10:50.840
but where I lived at the time, it was the

806
01:10:50.880 --> 01:10:55.479
news agents would open in the morning to sell the newspapers,

807
01:10:55.560 --> 01:11:02.680
Sunday newspapers, and maybe there might be a couple of

808
01:11:02.800 --> 01:11:07.880
like you might get some tourists. Stuff is open on

809
01:11:07.920 --> 01:11:11.600
the seafront, so cafes and stuff. They'd be allowed to

810
01:11:11.600 --> 01:11:14.359
be open on the Sunday because it's touristy, isn't it.

811
01:11:14.840 --> 01:11:18.920
And the not casinos, but like the arcades and the

812
01:11:18.960 --> 01:11:22.920
pier and those kinds of things. They'd be open on

813
01:11:22.960 --> 01:11:26.760
a Sunday during the day, but that would be it.

814
01:11:27.119 --> 01:11:32.159
The ice cream hut would be open during the summer

815
01:11:32.560 --> 01:11:38.560
on a Sunday, but then nothing else, nothing would be open.

816
01:11:39.119 --> 01:11:41.920
So I went to this town, the next town up

817
01:11:42.079 --> 01:11:47.920
from where I lived, got a taxi there, and or

818
01:11:47.960 --> 01:11:49.880
maybe I've got a training I've got a taxi to

819
01:11:49.920 --> 01:11:56.119
a house from the train, possibly, but there was nothing

820
01:11:56.159 --> 01:11:59.319
to do. But we didn't even get that far because

821
01:11:59.359 --> 01:12:02.039
I was thinking, maybe go to the cinema in the evening,

822
01:12:03.239 --> 01:12:05.479
because the cinemas were open in the evening. I'm pretty

823
01:12:05.479 --> 01:12:10.920
sure on a Sunday I think they were, but I

824
01:12:11.000 --> 01:12:14.039
might be wrong. I don't know. Anyway, I went to

825
01:12:14.119 --> 01:12:20.520
her house, knocked on the door when in, and I

826
01:12:20.800 --> 01:12:25.079
genuinely had no expectations of anything nice happening. I just

827
01:12:25.119 --> 01:12:27.159
wanted to spend some time with her because I liked her,

828
01:12:27.920 --> 01:12:30.560
and we had such a good time at work, laughing

829
01:12:30.680 --> 01:12:34.720
all day, you know, That's what it was, just to

830
01:12:34.760 --> 01:12:42.560
have some fun, and because I enjoyed her company. So

831
01:12:42.600 --> 01:12:46.960
I get there and she's not alone. She's got a

832
01:12:47.000 --> 01:12:51.000
friend with her, which is maybe she wanted to have

833
01:12:51.039 --> 01:12:54.840
someone there with her, you know, maybe for whatever reasons,

834
01:12:54.840 --> 01:13:03.399
which is fair enough. But this friend was awful because

835
01:13:03.439 --> 01:13:07.560
all she did was flirt with me. Now and I

836
01:13:07.600 --> 01:13:12.239
said the word awful. In any other situation, I would

837
01:13:12.279 --> 01:13:15.560
not have bothered by that. The fact that she was

838
01:13:15.600 --> 01:13:22.880
flirting with me and she was pop clocking as they

839
01:13:22.920 --> 01:13:28.239
say me. She really got in the way and she

840
01:13:28.319 --> 01:13:31.239
started sitting on my lap. And because I didn't know

841
01:13:31.239 --> 01:13:33.119
what to do in that situation, I didn't want to

842
01:13:33.119 --> 01:13:36.239
sort of be horrible to her. I didn't want to

843
01:13:36.279 --> 01:13:40.680
be verbally rude. I didn't want to physically push her off.

844
01:13:40.720 --> 01:13:44.840
So I did kind of push her off. But it

845
01:13:44.880 --> 01:13:50.239
was it was kind of a weird one, isn't it.

846
01:13:50.720 --> 01:13:52.760
Just Well, at the time, I just didn't know what

847
01:13:52.800 --> 01:13:57.439
to do. But the girl that I was visiting, it

848
01:13:57.479 --> 01:14:02.159
was her house. She was very very annoyed with me,

849
01:14:03.119 --> 01:14:11.159
not with her friend, but with me, And in the

850
01:14:11.239 --> 01:14:14.079
end I just left, got a taxi home, and that

851
01:14:14.159 --> 01:14:21.279
was the last time I saw her. I'd handle that

852
01:14:21.319 --> 01:14:24.439
situation much differently now. I wouldn't go around her house. Now,

853
01:14:25.479 --> 01:14:27.439
she hasn't seen me for forty years, so she probably

854
01:14:27.439 --> 01:14:31.000
wouldn't remember me, probably doesn't even live there anymore. But no,

855
01:14:31.079 --> 01:14:35.319
I wouldn't unless I knew someone. I wouldn't probably go

856
01:14:35.359 --> 01:14:36.840
around their house unless I knew.

857
01:14:36.680 --> 01:14:45.960
Them well or Yeah, but I think technically go around

858
01:14:45.960 --> 01:14:48.720
someone's house on the first date, maybe it's not a

859
01:14:48.720 --> 01:14:49.279
good idea.

860
01:14:50.640 --> 01:14:52.960
Maybe I mean I'm talking to like I'm going to

861
01:14:53.000 --> 01:14:56.600
have another first date. I don't know. Maybe it's possible.

862
01:14:56.840 --> 01:15:04.159
Maybe I don't know. But her friend really got in

863
01:15:04.199 --> 01:15:09.079
the way, and I didn't understand why. It's not like

864
01:15:09.600 --> 01:15:12.520
I left and her friend was running after me. J

865
01:15:12.960 --> 01:15:18.199
j JJ, don't leave me. You know. It wasn't like

866
01:15:18.560 --> 01:15:21.199
she was sew into me that she followed me all

867
01:15:21.199 --> 01:15:26.640
the way home. The friend I'm talking about, she was

868
01:15:26.680 --> 01:15:29.760
just doing it to wind her friend up to the

869
01:15:30.319 --> 01:15:35.359
girl that I was visiting. And the girl I was

870
01:15:35.439 --> 01:15:42.439
visiting I really liked, arguably the one I liked the

871
01:15:42.479 --> 01:15:50.560
most during that period, because I liked her physically, but

872
01:15:50.920 --> 01:15:54.680
she was funny and we had a good time. It

873
01:15:54.720 --> 01:15:59.720
was like by being almost like being attracted to a friend,

874
01:16:01.359 --> 01:16:05.840
which hasn't really happened in my life, not really, not much,

875
01:16:07.520 --> 01:16:18.560
well occasionally, but that's enough about Dean. I yeah, that

876
01:16:18.640 --> 01:16:27.920
was annoying because she's just because for me, I was,

877
01:16:28.239 --> 01:16:32.720
you know, it was very shy around females that I liked,

878
01:16:34.479 --> 01:16:36.880
and for some reason, she made it very easy for

879
01:16:36.920 --> 01:16:46.880
me to just beat myself so I could just be silly.

880
01:16:47.640 --> 01:16:50.000
But I guess we were both different because she was

881
01:16:50.039 --> 01:16:52.960
at home, she was in a different environment. I was

882
01:16:53.239 --> 01:16:55.039
well out of my comfort zone because I was in

883
01:16:55.079 --> 01:17:05.840
someone else's house and a different from town. I remember

884
01:17:05.880 --> 01:17:12.279
saying to me, she said, what's all this got to

885
01:17:12.359 --> 01:17:16.199
do with animals being on trial? I said, what do

886
01:17:16.279 --> 01:17:18.920
you mean? She said, well, you're supposed to be talked

887
01:17:18.920 --> 01:17:22.119
about animals being on trial. You only got up to

888
01:17:22.239 --> 01:17:25.439
number twenty two on the list of one hundred, and

889
01:17:25.479 --> 01:17:28.640
you started talking about girlfriends and next girlfriends that didn't

890
01:17:28.720 --> 01:17:33.119
end up being girlfriends, which basically has got nothing to

891
01:17:33.199 --> 01:17:38.760
do with animals being on trial. How did you manage

892
01:17:39.600 --> 01:17:44.079
to move from one subject to another without even noticing

893
01:17:44.159 --> 01:17:49.760
you've done it? And I answered, well, the fact that

894
01:17:49.920 --> 01:17:56.199
I'm mentioning it means that I have noticed, doesn't it.

895
01:17:56.359 --> 01:17:59.399
And she said no, I mentioned that you didn't mention it.

896
01:18:00.000 --> 01:18:02.319
I said, yeah, but anything that you mentioned is me

897
01:18:02.319 --> 01:18:05.600
mentioning it, isn't it, Because it's me, I'm the one

898
01:18:05.640 --> 01:18:12.319
doing talking. She said, oh, suppose I said, no, supose

899
01:18:12.359 --> 01:18:23.239
about it? It's true, and she got sulky, and now

900
01:18:23.279 --> 01:18:26.960
tell me, is this a weird thing? Right? You know?

901
01:18:27.119 --> 01:18:33.680
The soup lady, I call this is soup. When she

902
01:18:35.119 --> 01:18:38.159
we we were going to go to the cinema, well,

903
01:18:38.239 --> 01:18:41.079
that was kind of the plan. So I had some soup,

904
01:18:41.920 --> 01:18:45.439
bit of bread. I don't know where she found the bread,

905
01:18:46.199 --> 01:18:50.439
and I think it was one of those I think

906
01:18:50.960 --> 01:18:53.960
the problem with her is she was healthy, She had

907
01:18:53.960 --> 01:18:58.319
a healthy lifestyle, and she had this probably gluten free,

908
01:18:59.239 --> 01:19:07.720
healthy bread and really healthy soup. And I probably didn't

909
01:19:07.800 --> 01:19:14.039
appreciate that at the time because there wasn't, to be fair,

910
01:19:14.199 --> 01:19:17.119
there wasn't much blood circulating in my brain at the time,

911
01:19:17.720 --> 01:19:21.840
so I wasn't really thinking straight. So we had the

912
01:19:21.960 --> 01:19:26.479
soup and then we went to the cinema. The cinema

913
01:19:26.640 --> 01:19:33.520
was closed. Yeah, there was something going on with the

914
01:19:33.520 --> 01:19:35.800
cinema if it was closed for the day or the

915
01:19:35.840 --> 01:19:38.520
next movie wasn't for three hours, So we just like

916
01:19:38.720 --> 01:19:43.239
left and she said, oh, I've got to get myself

917
01:19:43.239 --> 01:19:47.079
a plug. And I thought, all things are looking up,

918
01:19:48.159 --> 01:19:50.800
and I said, I ask a few questions. She said, no,

919
01:19:50.920 --> 01:19:54.319
not that kind of plug. It's like electric plug for

920
01:19:55.680 --> 01:19:58.840
the lamp. I said, oh, okay. She said, I can't

921
01:19:58.880 --> 01:20:01.079
believe you just asked me that. I said, well, I

922
01:20:01.119 --> 01:20:05.439
didn't know, and she I think things might have gone

923
01:20:05.479 --> 01:20:08.720
downhill from there. I'm not sure I might not be

924
01:20:08.800 --> 01:20:14.640
the right questions to ask her, and considering he was

925
01:20:14.680 --> 01:20:18.880
on a bus as well. So we go down this hill.

926
01:20:19.920 --> 01:20:25.520
We walked to the electric shop and we decide we're

927
01:20:25.520 --> 01:20:29.800
going to go and get a film from Blockbusters as well.

928
01:20:29.840 --> 01:20:34.039
That's when Blockbusters were still alive, and we got the

929
01:20:34.119 --> 01:20:38.600
Karate Kids. Still haven't watched it. This is the new version,

930
01:20:39.800 --> 01:20:43.319
well not the newest version, but it was the one

931
01:20:43.399 --> 01:20:50.880
with Will Slappy Smith, his son Jayden I think, and

932
01:20:51.359 --> 01:20:56.560
Jackie Chan. So we watched some of it. Anyway, we

933
01:20:56.640 --> 01:21:01.920
got the video then well the rather then we went

934
01:21:01.960 --> 01:21:08.640
into this electrical shop next door, which was I can't

935
01:21:08.640 --> 01:21:12.600
remember the name of it, but Maplins, I think Maplins.

936
01:21:13.760 --> 01:21:15.640
So she went in there to look for a plug,

937
01:21:15.680 --> 01:21:17.399
and I thought I was boring. I'm not gonna bother

938
01:21:17.520 --> 01:21:21.479
with looking for a plug, especially if it's just a plug,

939
01:21:22.399 --> 01:21:26.359
an electrical one. So I thought, I'm just gonna have

940
01:21:26.399 --> 01:21:28.479
a wander around. I see, you see it, you know?

941
01:21:28.880 --> 01:21:32.760
She said? Okay. I went to look at the microphones,

942
01:21:32.880 --> 01:21:35.720
just to see what they got in there. It's occasionally

943
01:21:35.680 --> 01:21:37.439
I used to get stuff from there to try and

944
01:21:38.199 --> 01:21:44.399
improve the quality of the recordings. I don't know, it's funny.

945
01:21:45.119 --> 01:21:47.039
I've never seem to manage to do very well with

946
01:21:47.119 --> 01:21:54.399
the quality, but it's better now anyway. So I get

947
01:21:54.399 --> 01:21:59.720
a phone call. My phone rings, so I answer the

948
01:21:59.760 --> 01:22:09.680
phone and says, where are you? And that's the first

949
01:22:09.720 --> 01:22:11.640
thing I heard. So do you mean where I am?

950
01:22:11.640 --> 01:22:17.159
I'm here, I said, who is this? He said, it's

951
01:22:18.079 --> 01:22:25.760
soup lady. I can't remember her name. I said, okay.

952
01:22:26.239 --> 01:22:30.279
She said where are you? I said, I'm here. I'm walking

953
01:22:30.359 --> 01:22:37.279
up the hill. She said what, And I realized I'd

954
01:22:37.359 --> 01:22:39.640
left the shop without I forgot I was with her.

955
01:22:40.520 --> 01:22:46.079
So I'd looked at the microwave microphones. Nothing there. I

956
01:22:46.159 --> 01:22:50.359
just walked out the shop and started walking home, completely

957
01:22:50.399 --> 01:22:52.479
forgot I was with her, and she was the other

958
01:22:52.520 --> 01:22:55.840
side of the shop. Looking for plugs and probably queued

959
01:22:55.920 --> 01:22:58.880
up to pay for it, and then she finishes and

960
01:22:58.880 --> 01:23:02.119
she's looking for me. So ten minutes later, she's like,

961
01:23:02.359 --> 01:23:11.319
where's the bloke that I came in here with. That

962
01:23:11.399 --> 01:23:17.520
didn't seem to help the romance, so I said, well,

963
01:23:18.119 --> 01:23:19.880
drawing me to wait here, she said, can you come

964
01:23:19.920 --> 01:23:23.000
back down? I said, I just wait here, just catch

965
01:23:23.079 --> 01:23:28.239
me up. And that possibly didn't help with a romantic

966
01:23:28.359 --> 01:23:32.479
situation either. Mind you. I was a little bit put

967
01:23:32.520 --> 01:23:35.960
off because earlier in the evening the afternoon, we were

968
01:23:35.960 --> 01:23:41.800
walking through the park heading our way towards the Blockbusters

969
01:23:43.079 --> 01:23:48.159
and I kind of held her hand. I didn't kind

970
01:23:48.159 --> 01:23:50.199
of I did hold her hand because I thought at

971
01:23:50.199 --> 01:23:58.359
that point we were not married. But I thought maybe,

972
01:23:58.600 --> 01:24:02.800
you know, because of all the conversation and previously during

973
01:24:02.840 --> 01:24:05.000
the week building up to this and talking about having

974
01:24:05.039 --> 01:24:10.279
babies together and getting married and you know, stuff like that.

975
01:24:10.920 --> 01:24:14.359
Every night for the whole week leading up to the Sunday,

976
01:24:14.560 --> 01:24:20.760
included the previous Saturday evening. They just like fifteen hours ago,

977
01:24:20.920 --> 01:24:27.079
we were being all soppy on the phone, and I

978
01:24:27.159 --> 01:24:30.359
know she slopped me up. She served me some sloppy

979
01:24:30.439 --> 01:24:35.840
soup and a bit of bread, which I don't know

980
01:24:35.880 --> 01:24:41.600
where that came from. And I was like, okay, maybe

981
01:24:42.920 --> 01:24:46.159
that's what she eats. And as I said, she was healthy,

982
01:24:46.279 --> 01:24:49.920
so that was probably something that she would have for food.

983
01:24:50.079 --> 01:24:57.159
He class, that's food. No sausages, no cakes, no chocolate.

984
01:24:58.199 --> 01:25:00.600
I don't know what's wrong with her, but hey, everyone's

985
01:25:00.600 --> 01:25:08.399
different than me, so I'm thinking, well, she's still We

986
01:25:08.520 --> 01:25:18.079
still decided to go and you know, go and do her.

987
01:25:18.560 --> 01:25:21.720
What did we do? Do We walk through the park?

988
01:25:22.560 --> 01:25:31.399
Walk through the park. Yeah, yeah, after that so yeah,

989
01:25:31.520 --> 01:25:37.319
so after the soup fiasco, we walked through the park

990
01:25:37.439 --> 01:25:41.079
and I just went to hold her hand. I kind

991
01:25:41.079 --> 01:25:47.800
of thought that she would know and we would kind

992
01:25:47.840 --> 01:25:53.479
of maybe accidentally touch each other hands and that spark

993
01:25:54.439 --> 01:25:59.319
would ignite a love affair that lasted forever, you know,

994
01:25:59.600 --> 01:26:04.319
just something simple like that. There was no spark. All

995
01:26:04.359 --> 01:26:07.600
there was was annoyance from her. So I kind of

996
01:26:07.680 --> 01:26:10.680
held her hand and she, I mean, she didn't like

997
01:26:10.680 --> 01:26:15.680
to say get off me. You know, she wasn't vomiting

998
01:26:15.680 --> 01:26:17.560
in a bush or anything, but it was just very

999
01:26:17.640 --> 01:26:25.319
much like that. Okay. I mean again, I just want

1000
01:26:25.359 --> 01:26:28.680
to express that there was a lot of romance leading

1001
01:26:28.760 --> 01:26:33.520
up to this moment, I thought, so, it wasn't like

1002
01:26:33.560 --> 01:26:37.319
I was. I didn't. I hadn't just met her. I've

1003
01:26:37.359 --> 01:26:41.640
known her for a long time, well, probably a year maybe,

1004
01:26:42.399 --> 01:26:45.479
and hadn't seen her for quite a few months. But

1005
01:26:45.520 --> 01:26:47.399
we've been speaking on the phone for a couple of

1006
01:26:47.399 --> 01:26:50.760
weeks leading up to this. I'm extending now to two

1007
01:26:50.760 --> 01:26:58.960
weeks rather than one week. And I thought she loved me,

1008
01:26:59.039 --> 01:27:02.600
so I thought maybe put my hand out to hold

1009
01:27:02.600 --> 01:27:09.079
her hand, and she pushed me away. I mean, she

1010
01:27:09.119 --> 01:27:11.079
didn't push me in the pond, but she did, like

1011
01:27:12.439 --> 01:27:15.479
have a distance, and she said she didn't like doing

1012
01:27:15.479 --> 01:27:22.079
stuff like that in public. Yeah. Ironically, when we were

1013
01:27:22.119 --> 01:27:23.720
back at her place, when we came back and we

1014
01:27:23.720 --> 01:27:30.319
were watching the Karai Kid, she touched my ear and

1015
01:27:30.399 --> 01:27:36.800
I didn't push her away. I thought it was very strange.

1016
01:27:37.560 --> 01:27:40.239
I thought, of all the places that you could touch

1017
01:27:40.399 --> 01:27:42.560
my ear, isn't the one that I would choose, would

1018
01:27:42.600 --> 01:27:44.760
not be at the top of the list. But I

1019
01:27:44.800 --> 01:27:49.560
didn't push her away. I didn't go get off my ear. Oh,

1020
01:27:49.920 --> 01:27:54.479
not in public or private or anywhere. Ooh it's my ear.

1021
01:27:54.760 --> 01:27:55.439
Ooh.

1022
01:27:55.600 --> 01:28:01.239
No, I didn't do that, at least I don't think

1023
01:28:01.279 --> 01:28:06.239
I did that, mind you, If I did do that,

1024
01:28:06.520 --> 01:28:11.039
that would explain why she didn't want to see me again. No,

1025
01:28:11.159 --> 01:28:19.840
I didn't do that, but I realized there was nothing there.

1026
01:28:20.000 --> 01:28:23.800
It was like there was she's playing with my ear,

1027
01:28:25.560 --> 01:28:30.720
and I thought, I'm not a toy, you know. I mean, first,

1028
01:28:30.760 --> 01:28:32.520
I'm not toy to play with, and I'm not a

1029
01:28:32.560 --> 01:28:35.520
toy that you can just switch on and off, just

1030
01:28:35.800 --> 01:28:43.439
you know, just and then I left. I went home,

1031
01:28:43.479 --> 01:28:46.079
and the next day I bought some gifts and left

1032
01:28:46.119 --> 01:28:49.720
it outside her house. That wasn't a good idea because

1033
01:28:49.760 --> 01:28:53.239
then she sent me a text saying go away. Well

1034
01:28:53.279 --> 01:29:03.720
maybe not those words, but so even at four, even

1035
01:29:03.800 --> 01:29:10.560
at forty, yeah, I was forty. At this point, I

1036
01:29:10.600 --> 01:29:15.920
did not have the first idea how to deal with relationships.

1037
01:29:18.680 --> 01:29:30.479
Now I'm fifty, nearly fifty five. In five weeks, i'll

1038
01:29:30.520 --> 01:29:47.119
be fifty five, finished snoring and weird, like, okay, I

1039
01:29:47.159 --> 01:29:50.199
still don't really know. I wouldn't know what to do

1040
01:29:50.239 --> 01:29:58.760
on a date now, I wouldn't even know. I'm not

1041
01:29:58.880 --> 01:30:05.119
have been out with people over the years, but not

1042
01:30:05.239 --> 01:30:09.880
anyone that was like I've not met anyone who's like, wow,

1043
01:30:10.800 --> 01:30:12.840
I really want to be with this person and asked

1044
01:30:12.880 --> 01:30:16.399
them out and they said yes, and being all nervous

1045
01:30:16.439 --> 01:30:18.960
about a date and gone out and it's gone really well.

1046
01:30:23.239 --> 01:30:25.960
In fact, I think, I think arguably I can say

1047
01:30:26.039 --> 01:30:35.800
that's never happened. Yeah, I've never I've never never been

1048
01:30:35.800 --> 01:30:40.720
on a date with someone that I really was I've

1049
01:30:40.800 --> 01:30:43.920
dated people that I got on with and went on

1050
01:30:44.079 --> 01:30:50.319
dates with them, but I never never had that. I've

1051
01:30:50.359 --> 01:30:53.880
never asked anyone out really that I really liked, or

1052
01:30:53.880 --> 01:30:55.920
maybe a couple of times. Not that not that I

1053
01:30:55.920 --> 01:31:03.720
didn't like the people I was dating, but yeah, it

1054
01:31:03.800 --> 01:31:05.800
sort of going on a first date with someone that

1055
01:31:05.800 --> 01:31:11.680
I didn't know anything about, but I was absolutely besotted

1056
01:31:11.960 --> 01:31:17.399
in love with a person. And I've never done that. No,

1057
01:31:21.800 --> 01:31:23.720
you know, I've got to like people a bit more

1058
01:31:24.560 --> 01:31:29.880
over time. I think that's and they do. Yeah, hm hmm.

1059
01:31:35.760 --> 01:31:40.359
So if I had my time over again, I've been

1060
01:31:40.399 --> 01:31:44.439
thinking about stuff like that lately. It's like, Okay, what

1061
01:31:44.479 --> 01:31:57.159
would I do different? And I think back to there's

1062
01:31:57.199 --> 01:32:02.159
so many things. My stomach needs to eat some food

1063
01:32:02.279 --> 01:32:06.880
and that does not include soup. If I put soup

1064
01:32:06.920 --> 01:32:12.479
in my belly, now my belly would go no, no, Bernie, No,

1065
01:32:14.359 --> 01:32:23.239
soup not allowed. Yeah, I wouldn't know. I suppose. One

1066
01:32:23.279 --> 01:32:28.680
thing is I would never have stopped the karate when

1067
01:32:28.720 --> 01:32:34.079
I was fifteen sixteen. You know, i'd have continued. I

1068
01:32:34.079 --> 01:32:36.720
wouldn't have worked in a chip shop as my first job.

1069
01:32:36.960 --> 01:32:50.600
I'm very croaky today. I should get a drink. Oh

1070
01:32:50.960 --> 01:32:58.640
so smooth and silky again. Oh, just a little bit

1071
01:32:58.680 --> 01:33:02.800
of lubrication and I got my normal voice back again.

1072
01:33:04.000 --> 01:33:14.520
Oh sorry, So yeah, I come what I was talking about.

1073
01:33:14.560 --> 01:33:17.479
But I do need to eat something, so I'm gonna go.

1074
01:33:18.000 --> 01:33:22.239
I'm gonna go. And I realize I haven't really done

1075
01:33:22.439 --> 01:33:31.319
all of the the what's it names? What is it?

1076
01:33:31.560 --> 01:33:34.119
What am I doing? Q? And A Thursday? I've not

1077
01:33:34.159 --> 01:33:35.760
done all of them, but I might go through some

1078
01:33:35.840 --> 01:33:39.439
of them again and at a time if I can

1079
01:33:39.520 --> 01:33:50.920
find some weird ones. Okay, let's let's have a look. No, no,

1080
01:33:55.359 --> 01:34:00.920
I Apparently one lawyer refused to refuse to take on

1081
01:34:01.039 --> 01:34:06.920
a case for a rooster. Refused to represent a rooster.

1082
01:34:08.359 --> 01:34:10.319
I think I've heard roosters are a bit of a pain.

1083
01:34:18.479 --> 01:34:34.840
Judicial transcripts detail animals behavior as evidence. Wow, okay. Princess

1084
01:34:35.119 --> 01:34:40.640
of Wales plaque now removed to London for brown dog statue.

1085
01:34:41.279 --> 01:34:45.880
That better not be true. That better not true. You've

1086
01:34:45.960 --> 01:34:53.680
replaced a plaque for Princess Diana for a picture or

1087
01:34:54.079 --> 01:34:58.159
a statue of a dog, a brown dog. No, I

1088
01:34:58.199 --> 01:35:05.479
don't know enohing about this, but that sounds how wrong?

1089
01:35:06.760 --> 01:35:24.399
Sounds wrong? Mm wow, my stomach gurgle. It's just time

1090
01:35:24.439 --> 01:35:29.039
to eat something to go. Thank you for listeners to

1091
01:35:31.960 --> 01:35:39.119
my super exciting discourse on humanities and such and such,

1092
01:35:40.079 --> 01:35:44.119
So thank you for listening. Remember remember to be kind

1093
01:35:44.159 --> 01:35:47.840
to yourself because you do deserve to be happy and

1094
01:35:47.880 --> 01:35:55.079
be gentle with yourself. You deserve to feel safe. Lots

1095
01:35:55.079 --> 01:36:02.119
of love, Bye,