(music) (5 hours) Women’s Weekly | LMBYTS #1459 | Jason Newland | 11th October 2025

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Women’s Weekly | LMBYTS #1459 | Jason Newland | 11th October 2025
🕒 Duration: 1 hour, 19 minutes
🔗 View Transcript
🎙️ Summary of Content This episode of Let Me Bore You to Sleep by Jason Newland is a relaxed, meandering, and humorous spoken-word journey in which Jason reads through the latest edition of Women’s Weekly magazine. It's full of dry wit, side tangents, social observations, and the occasional heartfelt moment.
🧵 Transcript Breakdown
🐶 Intro & Vinnie’s Drama (0:00–3:30)

• Jason opens with a buzzing noise mystery.
• Vinnie (his dog) refuses to eat his food unless it's hand-fed or placed on the floor.
• Jason laments this new routine and sets the tone for a relaxed, sleepy episode.

📻 Background Noise Commentary (3:30–6:30)

• Jason talks about noisy neighbors, ambient garden sounds, and how background chatter can be annoying—like only hearing one side of a phone call.
• Shares a funny anecdote about a woman receiving a video call at Uncle Sausage’s funeral.

🧵 Curtains, Buzzing & Noise Control (7:00–8:30)

• He tries to quiet the noise by closing the window and drawing “soundproof” curtains.
• Reflects that people aren’t intentionally annoying—it’s just how they are, like his own “super sexiness.” 😄

📚 Main Segment: Reading Woman’s Weekly (8:30–1:14:00) Jason reads and critiques the 14th October 2025 edition of Woman’s Weekly magazine, bringing his signature wit to each page: 📰 Magazine Contents:

• Fashion & Lifestyle: Handbags with massive pockets (“for all your women's stuff”), waterproof jackets, dungarees from America, and discussions on why women’s zippers are on the opposite side.
• Cookery & Crafts: Comfort food recipes, knitting patterns (which Jason finds “rocket-science-level complicated”), cross-stitching memories, and retro sewing tips.
• Gardening & Home: Japanese anemones, pretty patios, retro revivals.
• Fiction & Culture: Short stories, serial fiction, literary festivals, and celebrity interviews.
• Health: Iron deficiency, anemia, nocturia (frequent night urination), and mental health letters.
• Horoscopes: Read aloud in full, sprinkled with Jason’s commentary and jokes.
• Letters from Readers: Jason reacts to wholesome reader letters and ponders the outdated phrasing like “unto” instead of “into.”
• Puzzles & Features: Pearl necklaces, deodorant as a beauty tip (“deodorant doesn’t make you attractive—it just makes you not stink”).

🎤 Jason’s Commentary & Personal Tangents Throughout the episode, Jason weaves in candid reflections, comedy, and social commentary:

• Gender Roles & Stereotypes: Questions the outdated division of interests (e.g., why men can’t knit or want handbags), and jokes about wanting to knit and have a purse.
• Art & School Days: Shares childhood memories of being steered away from creative hobbies like sewing and cross-stitching.
• Men’s Emotional Expression: Mentions Jordan Peterson and the societal discouragement of men expressing vulnerability.
• Desire for Excellence: Talks about his lifelong desire to be exceptional at something—especially art, music, comedy, and eventually sales.
• Living Alone: Reflects on solitude, talking too much around people, and how socializing drains him emotionally.
• Jewelry & Materialism: Wonders why men don’t wear as much jewelry, recalls a crucifix from his dad, and jokes about hyperallergenic accessories (which he mixes up with alopecia).

🐸 Fun & Weird Moments

• He reads about Darwin’s frogs carrying tadpoles in their vocal cords.
• Discusses saving frogs, mentions Avatar, and reflects on online dog training programs.
• Laughs at how Women’s Weekly manages to unintentionally reinforce every gender stereotype.

💬 Closing Message Jason ends with a heartfelt message: "Remember to be kind to yourself because you do deserve to be happy. Be gentle with yourself. You deserve to feel safe. Lots of love. Bye bye bye bye."

✨ Overall Vibe Relaxed, quirky, and gently humorous. Jason uses Woman’s Weekly as a jumping-off point to explore deeper issues of identity, creativity, and society—all while trying to entertain and soothe listeners to sleep.