June 29, 2025

(music) (5 hours) Sunday Summary | LMBYTS #1384 | Jason Newland | 29th June 2025

(music) (5 hours) Sunday Summary | LMBYTS #1384 | Jason Newland | 29th June 2025
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Hello, oh, welcome to Sweaty Heatwave. My name's Sweaty Heatwave.

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My website is Sweatyheatwave dot com. Blur blur. It's hot.

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It's hot, hot, hot, hot, hot hot hot. I can't

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take video out until it gets cooler down because it'll

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be too hot for him out there, so he's stuck

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inside with me me. So yeah. Jasonnewland dot com is

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my website. My name is Jason Newland. Please I'm listen

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when you can safely close your eyes. And Vinnie has

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spotted a fly? Is it a same fly from last year?

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Vin same fly has been visited ten years now, it's

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been visiting us ten years. One poe to chase the

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same fly. Eyes hot, I'm gonna scrunch my T shirt,

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T shirt, T shirt up so my bellies feeling the

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cool breeze. There's a little bit of a cool breeze

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coming in through the window a little bit. Well, it's

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a breeze. I don't know if it's cool, but it's breezy.

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I'm just gonna imagine it's cool. I mean, technically, I

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don't have to take all my clothes off because once

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I kind of expose my belly area. That's about ninety

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five percent of my body, isn't it so oh lovely?

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By the way, I there's any single women out there

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that are looking for a new boyfriend or come and

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let me know me and my big wobbly belly. War Okay,

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I'll stop now. Whoops. I want to say thank you

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to Tammy for your PayPal gift. Thank you very much.

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And it's Sunday, the.

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U.

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I don't know what the date is. I think it's

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a twenty ninth of or the thirtieth. It's either the

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twenty ninth for the thirtieth of June twenty twenty five,

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because the first of July is Tuesday, and it's Sunday today.

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So if there's thirty one days in June, then this

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is the thirtieth today. If there's thirty days in June, ten,

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today's or twenty ninth. Were you the April May, junely, September,

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thirty days in fourth Bednmber? I don't. I can't remember

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the rhyme. I can't remember the rhyme. I don't. I

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don't remember it. But I've told you a thousand times. Yeah, Unfortunately,

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when you start telling me something that I'm not interested in.

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My brain shuts down. Sorry, I can't help it. Oh,

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my friend's still in hospital. I haven't been there this

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week end. Today, I think you're going to hear me

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shuffling about a bit because he's hunting the fly today.

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Sunday is very, very difficult to travel anywhere unless you

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have a car of your own, and I was not

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going to ask neighbors for help today because it's Sunday.

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You know.

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So this is going to be like my summary of

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the week. That's what I'm going to talk about. Although

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I kind of went quite in depth, but there's probably

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stuff I've forgotten that I didn't mention. So the buses

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and the trains are not very regular on a Sunday Saturday.

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I needed. I needed to not go in yesterday. I

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needed a break. I just needed a little bit of

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time with my little baby boy over here. And I

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think he needed that because he's been acting strange towards me,

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especially the last few days before, you know, I had

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some time until I was back. For example, it's not

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really eating much at the moment, but that's I'm guessing

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that's down to the heat. A lot of that however, However, however, However,

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he stopped sleeping in bed with me again. It could

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be partially to do the heat, but he was just

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sitting down on the floor staring at me. There was

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he had definitely had an issue with me, really like

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he didn't he was angry or whatever. So I managed

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to get him back in the bedroom me and he's

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fine again, but for a few days. I mean, I

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woke up the other day he wasn't even in the

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same room because in the living room. He does do

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that occasionally, but it's rare, it's very rare, and I

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was starting to think, I wonder if I kicked him

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out of bed in my sleep one night and it

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upset him. Obviously, if it's in my sleep, I didn't.

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I'm not responsible for what I do. When I was

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step I might have been a bit having a dream

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or something, dreaming I was a dad daddy leg long

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lick leg long a long leg, daddy long leg, juggling

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or something. I don't know, and so I might have

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just acted. Then he kicked him out of the bed,

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and he might have he might have been a shock

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to him because if he was asleep, and you know,

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he's got every right to be annoyed with me for that,

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But at the same time, I would never do that.

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If I don't, I might do No, I wouldn't. I

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would never do that if I was awake, not necessar

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he really annoyed me. No, I would never do that.

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It's a little boy. It's only little line, It's only

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little baby. It's my little baby, man, little baby, my

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little baby. Vinny, Vinnie, Vinnie, Vinny. He's a big grumpy

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as well. I think the heat's got him a little bit.

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I don't care too much about the heat. Yeah, it's

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just heating it. I've been warmer, that's how I see it.

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It's like, you know what, I've been way hotter than

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this on numerous occasions. It's just you just have to adapt.

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It's not all, it's not forever. It's just for I

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don't know, a few days if that, and then everyone's

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going to start complaining, oh it's so cold. Guarantee you

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guarantee in October time. Guarantee people will be walking around saying,

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didn't you never summer? What happened to the summers? Almost

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it didn't exist completely. Forgetting the fact that they couldn't

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leave the house because it was so hot. It's just

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you could fry an egg on your head, especially baldies

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like me. It's like short term memory in it. That's

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what it is. So you know, I've been to Thailand.

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This is cool in Thailand. This is not a hot

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day in time. And also I worked in a bakery,

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like a proper big industrial bakery when I was in

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my twenties that was hot all the time, like hot

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with all in Movens, ridiculously hot. So yeah, this this

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isn't really and I'm not saying it's comfortable. I'm not

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hugely uncomfortable though, really, because I'm indoors, got the windows open,

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sitting down, just chatting with you, got me a little

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a little monkey lying by my feet, huge jelly belly.

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It wabbles even when I sit still.

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M hmmm.

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If you haven't met me, you probably think, wow, what

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I thought you said he was massively fat? Well it's

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all I mean. You know, if you met me, you

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wouldn't think, oh, I didn't realize he was slim, because

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I'm not slim. I had been doing some stomach x Okay,

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I had been doing some stomach exercises until last Friday,

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when any kind of routine I had went up in

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Pooh basically, although it's kind of strange because it's all

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it's like I started a new routine, but I don't

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want I don't want this new routine really because it's

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involving going to a hospital every day, and that's not

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what let's face it, unless you work in the hospital,

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it's not what anyone wants to do is go to

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hospital every day. I mean, blome me, no, thank you, No,

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it's lovely, but I have enough now, thanks, bye bye

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bye bye. Yeah. Not. I'm not even sure if I

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would make a very good patient, because that's pretty much

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where the word patients come from, isn't it. It's like

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he's a patient person. Any idea is to be because

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you have to wait around a lot, don't you, if

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you're a patient and back in the old days. Is

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a little bit similar to how my neighbor is because

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he's been in there since Friday, so it's that Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday,

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Saturday Sunday, nine days he's been in there, and it's

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rare to be in hospital that long because there's a

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there's a term in this country which is really there

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might be another country. So I'm not saying that we're special,

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but we are. And it's a term which is being

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used by I don't know if it was created by

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the NHS, but it's definitely on the news about the

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NHS and people that were in beds, So the lack

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of hospital bed availability to new patients, that's basically what

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the subject was. So people that were in beds were

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called bed blockers, which it's such a horrible term, you know,

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for someone that's unwell, Because someone a bed blocker, it's

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that's just like calling someone a coffin dodger, isn't it.

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It's you know, it's it's this in the kind of

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it's in that ballpark. So he actually said to me

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and my neighbor, oh, I don't want to be in

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there because I'm just blocking the bed. And I said,

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if you were my size, you would be blocking the bed.

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You'd probably be breaking the bed, but you're not blocking anything. Yeah,

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but I should This bed could be used for someone

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that needs it more. So I'm like, okay, first of all,

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you're seventy eight years old, nearly you're nearly eighty years old.

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And I said, trust me, I'm not an expert on

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the NHS or anything, well anything, I'm not an expert

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on anything. However, I do know one thing about the

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NHS is they would not keep someone in the bed

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unless they had to, unless it was important. They get

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people out quickly as possible. I mean, there was a

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time when if I hope it's okay in need to

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say woman, but when a woman gives birth, I hope

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that's not offended anyone back in I'm gonna I mean,

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the last time I really had any contact with births

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was nineteen eighty when my little brother was born and

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she was in hospital for a few days, and it

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was just a standard birth. I don't think there was

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any not that I know of any complications. I think

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she was a bit sore, like most people are, I guess,

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but when she pooed him out, she wasn't. There was

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nothing extra happening. But she was in hospital for probably

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three or four days probably, and then came out. And

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you know, nowadays they're just like, as soon as you've

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had the baby, they wheel you out. It's okay, well,

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thanks by, and it's like if they can ideal, if

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they will actually if you give birth in the ambulance

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they just turn around and say you're home again. Seriously,

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I'm making it up. Seriously. I mean I had my

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appendix out when I was twelve, eleven, twelve, but I

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lose track, to be honest with you, I think about

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twelve ish and I was in hospital probably five or

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six days, maybe a whole week. Best time in my childhood.

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That was happiest moment, the happiest period of my life

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as a child. When I was in hospital strange and

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I literally I did have the time of my life.

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It was great. I mean there was parts I didn't enjoy,

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you know, like the pain being prodded around in that,

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but generally, you know, outside of the actual operation and

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the anesthetic, I had a jolly good time, jolly, jolly,

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jolly good time. I'm pretty sure that anyone had a

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kid having an operation now, providing everything goes to plan,

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they'll be out very fairly quickly. I've known people to

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have heart surgery and be out the next day. It's

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like what that used to be. Something you'd stay in

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hospital for weeks with, maybe even longer. It's changed. Everything's

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changed so much. At this point, my neighbor said, you

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ain't half going on. I just said that I feel

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that I'm blocking the bed. I mean, you give me

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a lecture. And I said, yeah, I know. How does

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it feel? How does it feel? Hey, how does it

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feel you do it to me? Now I'm doing it

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to you. How do you feel being on the receiving end?

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And he bunched me, But I said, like, look, they

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wouldn't keep you in here unless they need to. It's

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I think it's fair, it's safe to say that. I

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think they don't keep people in hospital beds unless it's necessary.

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And I think what happened is the news bulletins. This

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is a few years back. I mean it might even

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be going twenty years fifteen ten, fifteen, twenty years ago,

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but there was a big focus on it and a

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massive guilt trip on people to an ole almost for

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being ill. People shouldn't feel guilty for being ill. It's ridiculous.

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And they haven't got to the point where they're saying, well,

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just don't go to the A and E unless you're

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really ill. Are you sure you need to go that

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this is the accident emergency? Are you sure you really

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need to go to the A and E? Don't block

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the A and E? Up, it's there for emergencies, and

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then they start giving examples of some people that would

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go in there because I don't know, I'm trying to

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think of something really silly. But they'd always give the

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most extreme example as saying it's someone went in there

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because they wanted to order a taxi or something, you know,

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something said like that, or do they wanted to get

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a kebab. It's like, okay, there's going to be a kebab.

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There are going to be situations where someone walks into

232
00:19:16.160 --> 00:19:23.839
an emergency ward of a hospital and ask some how

233
00:19:23.920 --> 00:19:27.000
much for the suitcases or something like that, or I

234
00:19:27.079 --> 00:19:31.039
ordered where I need to get my dry cleaning done.

235
00:19:31.200 --> 00:19:35.200
It's going to happen occasionally, isn't it. But I wouldn't.

236
00:19:35.359 --> 00:19:39.640
I imagine It's not the norm. It's not the normal situation.

237
00:19:41.400 --> 00:19:44.759
But these news bulletins and even adverts they put on TV,

238
00:19:45.559 --> 00:19:49.799
you know, don't waste the NHA's time, don't go into

239
00:19:49.799 --> 00:19:57.119
the an unless it's an emergency. The thing is, most people,

240
00:19:59.680 --> 00:20:04.000
I'm guessing, you know, just from well I think it's

241
00:20:04.039 --> 00:20:09.119
a fair guess, but most people, I imagine, are not medically trained.

242
00:20:09.839 --> 00:20:14.519
You know, the vast majority of people are not medically

243
00:20:14.559 --> 00:20:18.559
trained or at least not enough to know whether something

244
00:20:18.640 --> 00:20:26.039
is an emergency. Now my friends in hospital, he feels

245
00:20:26.279 --> 00:20:35.279
absolutely fine. Now if it hadn't been for me, And

246
00:20:35.319 --> 00:20:38.119
I don't mean that as as she would just say it. Now,

247
00:20:38.200 --> 00:20:41.720
do it now, there's a he you will if you

248
00:20:41.839 --> 00:20:45.559
look inside your pants, right, we'll do that now, get

249
00:20:45.559 --> 00:20:49.000
that over and done with. If it hadn't been for me,

250
00:20:50.519 --> 00:20:52.799
and this is this is truth. I'm not saying it's

251
00:20:52.839 --> 00:20:56.160
nothing good about it. But he would still be in

252
00:20:56.240 --> 00:21:04.279
his home, having fun, watching the sport. He'd know nothing

253
00:21:04.319 --> 00:21:06.799
about this. He'd know nothing if he doesn't look. He

254
00:21:06.839 --> 00:21:11.160
didn't have a mirror, he didn't know who's yellow, And

255
00:21:11.200 --> 00:21:13.480
he would have had hadn't spent the last nine year,

256
00:21:13.680 --> 00:21:18.920
nine days in what he thinks his prison, but it's honestly,

257
00:21:19.000 --> 00:21:23.680
he feels like he's locked up. But he wouldn't have

258
00:21:23.680 --> 00:21:26.799
been in hospital for the last nine days. But he

259
00:21:26.799 --> 00:21:30.759
also wouldn't have been having medication to help with his

260
00:21:30.880 --> 00:21:33.799
blood which is full of ammonia, which has caused him

261
00:21:33.839 --> 00:21:36.559
to be yellow. So who knows where he would be

262
00:21:36.599 --> 00:21:40.680
in nine you know, after nine days of no medication

263
00:21:42.000 --> 00:21:45.519
to help to clear that out of his blood. You know,

264
00:21:45.759 --> 00:21:49.720
he sort of goes different ways, doesn't it. Paramedics said

265
00:21:50.359 --> 00:21:53.559
it was the right thing to do. Everyone said it's

266
00:21:53.720 --> 00:21:55.720
everyone medical said it's the right thing to do to

267
00:21:55.759 --> 00:21:58.400
get him into the hospital, And the fact that he's

268
00:21:58.440 --> 00:22:01.359
still in there is kind of backing that up. I

269
00:22:01.359 --> 00:22:08.400
would say, but he had no physical symptoms, so that

270
00:22:08.519 --> 00:22:15.440
was an emergency situation and he didn't even know it. Now,

271
00:22:16.240 --> 00:22:20.359
I didn't call for an ambulance because I've still got

272
00:22:20.359 --> 00:22:23.119
that stuck in my head. Don't call for an ambulance

273
00:22:23.440 --> 00:22:26.799
unless it's an emergency. How are we supposed to know

274
00:22:26.839 --> 00:22:31.839
if something's an emergency. I was told that if someone

275
00:22:31.880 --> 00:22:38.480
turns yellow, that's a very serious situation. It's pretty much

276
00:22:39.519 --> 00:22:43.079
in most cases. I'm sure there are times when it's not.

277
00:22:43.200 --> 00:22:50.039
But you know, it's the liver. It's an organ malfunction.

278
00:22:52.240 --> 00:22:55.640
And I didn't realize that the pancreas, the gallbladder, and

279
00:22:55.839 --> 00:23:01.279
the liver were all connected and any of those organs

280
00:23:01.279 --> 00:23:03.640
could cause someone to go yellow. I didn't know. I've

281
00:23:03.680 --> 00:23:07.160
done a bit of research since since this all happened.

282
00:23:09.279 --> 00:23:12.559
Apparently we've only got one liver. I thought we had three.

283
00:23:13.359 --> 00:23:18.720
Just shows you what I know. So I think I

284
00:23:18.759 --> 00:23:20.720
didn't you know, I ended up calling one one one,

285
00:23:21.000 --> 00:23:24.640
which is what they brought into play to stop people

286
00:23:24.680 --> 00:23:31.119
from wasting the emergency accident emergency time, or the ambulances time.

287
00:23:34.160 --> 00:23:37.000
And there are time wasters out there, of course, there

288
00:23:37.039 --> 00:23:40.680
are that always will be. I mean I went to

289
00:23:40.960 --> 00:23:45.200
I knew someone that worked or was volunteered at the Samaritans.

290
00:23:45.680 --> 00:23:48.480
I've known a few people actually that have volunteered at Samaritans,

291
00:23:50.079 --> 00:23:53.680
especially people that were counselors when I was training and stuff.

292
00:23:55.480 --> 00:23:58.160
And I applied myself once that they turned me down,

293
00:24:00.079 --> 00:24:04.359
apparently something to do with not wearing any pants. But hey,

294
00:24:05.519 --> 00:24:07.640
I didn't know. I didn't think it was a normal interview.

295
00:24:09.920 --> 00:24:12.359
It's not always acceptable to take a pack lunch to

296
00:24:12.359 --> 00:24:16.799
a job interview. Where's the rules? Where's the rule book?

297
00:24:17.720 --> 00:24:26.960
No flasks of coffee? Apparently they get quite a few

298
00:24:26.960 --> 00:24:31.960
time wasters at the Samaritans. And again they don't promote this.

299
00:24:32.079 --> 00:24:35.160
The reason I don't promote it is because they don't

300
00:24:35.200 --> 00:24:39.599
want people to stop phoning up. By the way, the Samaritans.

301
00:24:39.720 --> 00:24:43.000
If you don't know what it is, it there might

302
00:24:43.039 --> 00:24:45.799
be a version in every country. I don't know. It's

303
00:24:45.880 --> 00:24:48.720
basically a helpline. It's a phone. It's some way that

304
00:24:48.799 --> 00:24:54.799
you can phone up and talk to someone about anything.

305
00:24:56.200 --> 00:24:59.960
You're not really phoning up to get help as such.

306
00:25:00.759 --> 00:25:02.319
You know, if you need an ambulance, you need to call

307
00:25:02.319 --> 00:25:04.039
for an ambulance. If you need a police, you need

308
00:25:04.039 --> 00:25:08.960
to call for the police. The Samaritans, I think they

309
00:25:09.000 --> 00:25:12.640
can signpost you to different places, but they're really just

310
00:25:12.880 --> 00:25:17.960
an ear for you. You can talk about whatever's going on.

311
00:25:19.720 --> 00:25:24.480
And I think it's proven its usefulness millions of times

312
00:25:24.519 --> 00:25:29.920
over now. I didn't know, I've never I think I

313
00:25:30.000 --> 00:25:34.079
might have called the Samaritans once. Actually, oh yeah, they

314
00:25:34.079 --> 00:25:37.119
were engaged. That's it. That's why I phoned phone once

315
00:25:37.160 --> 00:25:41.160
and they were engaged, which was just is a weird

316
00:25:41.160 --> 00:25:46.640
and it the one time, but it's an amazing it's

317
00:25:46.640 --> 00:25:52.279
an amazing service. I didn't realize that some people were

318
00:25:52.279 --> 00:25:56.279
phoned up. There's there's two I think probably two times.

319
00:25:56.680 --> 00:26:00.799
You could say three times, three types of time wasters.

320
00:26:02.359 --> 00:26:06.039
But the Samaritans don't class it as time wasters because

321
00:26:07.039 --> 00:26:10.440
if they start putting adverts on TV saying only call

322
00:26:10.519 --> 00:26:14.839
if it's serious, only call, don't wait, you know, it

323
00:26:14.839 --> 00:26:18.680
would be so negative that a lot of people wouldn't

324
00:26:18.720 --> 00:26:22.039
phone up thinking that they didn't need to, and that

325
00:26:22.079 --> 00:26:25.680
phone call could be it could be life saving for

326
00:26:25.720 --> 00:26:29.079
that person. They might not even realize how much they

327
00:26:29.160 --> 00:26:33.480
needed to talk to someone, because some people have the

328
00:26:33.599 --> 00:26:40.079
need to have a conversation with a human being so

329
00:26:40.480 --> 00:26:43.160
or to feel that kind of communication.

330
00:26:42.599 --> 00:26:42.680
That.

331
00:26:45.440 --> 00:26:52.599
Connection, I guess, and I suppose also if you're living

332
00:26:52.839 --> 00:26:57.359
someone's living on their own and things become normalized, don't

333
00:26:57.359 --> 00:27:01.279
they so to have I've had that a little bit

334
00:27:01.319 --> 00:27:06.079
in the past where someone's found out what I'm doing

335
00:27:06.680 --> 00:27:10.839
and they're like, no, that's not normal. You know, that's

336
00:27:11.200 --> 00:27:16.680
not normal behavior. And I didn't realize. Now you're probably

337
00:27:16.680 --> 00:27:19.759
wondering what I'm talking about right now. It's nothing horrible,

338
00:27:20.359 --> 00:27:24.279
it's just I'm not going to tell you what it was.

339
00:27:25.039 --> 00:27:25.440
But the.

340
00:27:27.000 --> 00:27:36.480
Psychiatrist said, no, that's that's weird. I said, okay, okay.

341
00:27:36.559 --> 00:27:45.200
Apparently sticking if you put if you kneel down and

342
00:27:45.240 --> 00:27:49.039
put shoes on your knees to pretend to be really

343
00:27:49.079 --> 00:27:53.200
short and walk around, there's a thing you do that,

344
00:27:53.279 --> 00:27:55.079
but apparently it's weird if you do it around your

345
00:27:55.079 --> 00:27:59.359
house on your own. There's no one else around. It's

346
00:27:59.559 --> 00:28:01.839
and like just do that all the time. Apparently it's

347
00:28:01.880 --> 00:28:07.400
a strange thing to do. Yeah, okay, So there's three

348
00:28:07.480 --> 00:28:15.759
types of people that perhaps don't use the Samaritans in

349
00:28:15.799 --> 00:28:21.759
the best way potentially, But again I've always got a

350
00:28:21.799 --> 00:28:26.039
caveat for these I've always got like a a defense

351
00:28:26.119 --> 00:28:31.920
for the people doing it sometimes. So one is they

352
00:28:32.039 --> 00:28:36.000
phone up to they use it as some kind of

353
00:28:37.039 --> 00:28:40.640
horny chat line. I think that's a that's a nice

354
00:28:40.680 --> 00:28:44.079
way of saying it, you know, one of those premium

355
00:28:44.160 --> 00:28:51.240
number chat lines. Some people use it like that. I

356
00:28:51.319 --> 00:28:55.519
know it's I was quite surprised at that, and I

357
00:28:55.519 --> 00:28:59.799
didn't think they could hear what I was doing. And

358
00:29:00.839 --> 00:29:09.240
then there's people that I guess are just sort of

359
00:29:09.240 --> 00:29:12.599
wind up, you know, they just sort of wind up.

360
00:29:12.599 --> 00:29:15.000
They just like they think it's funny just to mess

361
00:29:15.039 --> 00:29:18.920
around with people. There's always going to be those types around.

362
00:29:21.759 --> 00:29:25.279
And then there's the I suppose that they said they

363
00:29:25.319 --> 00:29:31.960
get some people that phone every single day and maybe

364
00:29:32.000 --> 00:29:34.920
they feel this, I don't know, they don't necessarily feel

365
00:29:34.920 --> 00:29:38.240
they're helping that person, but they don't know they might

366
00:29:38.319 --> 00:29:42.119
really be helping them. Yeah, they get on first name

367
00:29:42.200 --> 00:29:44.759
turns with some people that literally call up every single

368
00:29:44.839 --> 00:29:47.279
day and if that's what they need, then do it,

369
00:29:48.319 --> 00:29:51.559
because that's what they're there for. They're there, it's a

370
00:29:51.559 --> 00:29:58.480
free service. And the way I say, I'm going from

371
00:29:58.480 --> 00:30:05.319
a different perspective. If I remember someone saying when I

372
00:30:05.359 --> 00:30:10.039
was doing the counseling training, someone said, there's this whole

373
00:30:10.079 --> 00:30:15.000
theory about well, if someone comes in and just talks

374
00:30:15.039 --> 00:30:19.880
about it, talks absolutely rubbish for fifty minutes, a little

375
00:30:19.920 --> 00:30:22.440
bit like me now, really, but they come in and

376
00:30:22.839 --> 00:30:25.400
you know that you know why they're come in. You

377
00:30:25.480 --> 00:30:31.119
already they've already had a phone conversation with the counseling

378
00:30:31.240 --> 00:30:33.960
service to find out what's going on with them and

379
00:30:34.000 --> 00:30:37.799
the reason why they have applied for counseling or the

380
00:30:37.839 --> 00:30:43.400
reason that being sent by the doctor the counseling We're

381
00:30:43.440 --> 00:30:45.680
not going to have a full information, but it's going

382
00:30:45.759 --> 00:30:51.039
to have at least an idea. So let's say they're

383
00:30:51.079 --> 00:30:56.720
in there because I don't know for whatever thing, but

384
00:30:56.920 --> 00:31:02.920
maybe it's yeah, I can't think of anything that isn't problematic.

385
00:31:02.960 --> 00:31:05.680
But but then they come in and they end up

386
00:31:05.720 --> 00:31:12.279
talking about basketball or football, or they talk about UFOs,

387
00:31:12.400 --> 00:31:18.359
or they talk about dinosaurs for fifty minutes, or they

388
00:31:18.400 --> 00:31:22.799
come in and they just make stuff up, blatantly, just

389
00:31:22.960 --> 00:31:27.759
make stuff up. Now, this seemed to frustrate some of

390
00:31:27.799 --> 00:31:32.319
the other counselors, and I've read books and stuff as

391
00:31:32.359 --> 00:31:35.039
well on it, and some people get upset with it

392
00:31:35.039 --> 00:31:38.839
and say, you know, some counseling books will say, well,

393
00:31:38.839 --> 00:31:40.839
you've got to bring them back to why they're there,

394
00:31:41.279 --> 00:31:45.079
You've got to get them focused on all that stuff,

395
00:31:46.319 --> 00:31:53.240
which I do understand. But I kind of figured out

396
00:31:53.279 --> 00:32:02.160
that actually, sometimes people need to use I suppose they

397
00:32:02.160 --> 00:32:05.880
can still be gaining benefit from talking to someone, even

398
00:32:05.880 --> 00:32:09.240
if it is it's got nothing to do with why

399
00:32:09.279 --> 00:32:20.400
they're there, maybe just that human human interaction, maybe sitting

400
00:32:20.720 --> 00:32:29.920
in a room with someone that is listening. And what

401
00:32:29.960 --> 00:32:34.079
I've noticed that in most cases it's going back a

402
00:32:34.079 --> 00:32:45.559
while now they'd start talking about why they're there. Not always,

403
00:32:46.440 --> 00:32:55.720
but you know, something quite often, And I found that

404
00:32:55.799 --> 00:33:01.359
interesting that actually, I suppose you could some people use

405
00:33:01.480 --> 00:33:06.759
metaphors stories. So maybe the given example, it's a little

406
00:33:06.759 --> 00:33:10.160
bit like say I need advice for a friend, and

407
00:33:10.200 --> 00:33:12.240
you pretty much always know that the person is talking

408
00:33:12.240 --> 00:33:14.920
about themselves, don't you. So you know, if someone comes

409
00:33:15.000 --> 00:33:17.319
up to you, if it's someone you know that or

410
00:33:17.400 --> 00:33:23.599
I need some advice for a friend. And he's thinking

411
00:33:23.599 --> 00:33:29.400
about getting an enlargement procedure, but he's not sure because

412
00:33:30.079 --> 00:33:32.200
he's seeing it on TV and he doesn't know everyone.

413
00:33:32.279 --> 00:33:35.720
Or it'd be safe if we're about getting a pump.

414
00:33:36.400 --> 00:33:41.079
But he didn't get it in the end, and he

415
00:33:41.119 --> 00:33:43.519
hasn't got a lot of money because you know, he's

416
00:33:43.559 --> 00:33:48.039
on benefits at the moment, and he's he's it's quite expensive,

417
00:33:48.279 --> 00:33:52.359
especially looking after his little dog Vinny. You know, if

418
00:33:52.400 --> 00:33:55.400
you make a mistaken if you give too much information away.

419
00:33:56.000 --> 00:34:03.200
But I think sometimes that's useful for counselors or for

420
00:34:03.279 --> 00:34:10.199
clients or rather patients to do it in their own way.

421
00:34:10.840 --> 00:34:13.440
And I think, I guess that's what I'm saying with Samaritans.

422
00:34:14.119 --> 00:34:18.079
Sometimes if someone's just they're not even talking about their

423
00:34:18.119 --> 00:34:27.639
own life, it might help them sort out certain blockages

424
00:34:27.840 --> 00:34:32.639
in their mind or in their energies for whatever. I

425
00:34:32.639 --> 00:34:36.440
don't know blockages in their energies what you're talking about, Jay,

426
00:34:38.400 --> 00:34:42.079
I'm not one hundred percent sure, and I'll make it.

427
00:34:42.119 --> 00:34:45.280
I'll make most of what I say up. The video

428
00:34:45.360 --> 00:34:50.400
is about twelve inches away from the fly. He's staring

429
00:34:50.400 --> 00:34:59.199
at it. He wants it badly. She's rested his He

430
00:34:59.320 --> 00:35:02.440
was rested his chin on my left leg, and the

431
00:35:02.519 --> 00:35:08.079
fly was on my right leg, and he was I

432
00:35:08.119 --> 00:35:12.320
guess he was thinking the dogs think. I don't know.

433
00:35:14.400 --> 00:35:16.360
I found a new technique, by the way, to stop

434
00:35:16.679 --> 00:35:21.719
internal dialogue, to turn it off. It's not really a

435
00:35:21.760 --> 00:35:25.280
new way, but it's a new way for me focus

436
00:35:25.320 --> 00:35:33.039
on the wind or the breeze. Because I noticed always

437
00:35:33.159 --> 00:35:36.599
noticing new things about myself, and then sometimes I forget

438
00:35:36.639 --> 00:35:39.519
about the thing I've noticed, and then I noticed it

439
00:35:39.559 --> 00:35:42.639
again a few years later, and then I forget about

440
00:35:42.679 --> 00:35:46.719
it again, and then I notice it again. Something that

441
00:35:46.760 --> 00:35:53.559
I've got a habit of doing is so if something happened.

442
00:35:53.760 --> 00:35:58.199
If something happens, it can be just the most simple thing,

443
00:36:00.559 --> 00:36:04.280
an interaction or a non interaction. Or if someone with

444
00:36:04.360 --> 00:36:10.039
a dog they say something rude, which happens occasionally, Vidy

445
00:36:10.119 --> 00:36:12.760
barks and maybe they don't like the fact that he's

446
00:36:12.800 --> 00:36:18.679
barking at their dog. And then I start thinking of

447
00:36:18.719 --> 00:36:21.239
all the different conversations I could have had with that person,

448
00:36:23.079 --> 00:36:28.880
how it could have gone. And I can go on

449
00:36:28.960 --> 00:36:33.199
for ages and then maybe I'll see them again, and

450
00:36:33.239 --> 00:36:38.119
I'll kind of keep my distance, and I start mentioning

451
00:36:38.119 --> 00:36:41.239
all the different scenarios and conversations I might have with

452
00:36:41.280 --> 00:36:44.440
them if I did see them, And it's weird, and

453
00:36:44.519 --> 00:36:48.719
I thought, you know what, I'll focus on the wind,

454
00:36:51.079 --> 00:36:54.719
the wind outside my pants, you know, in the air.

455
00:36:58.880 --> 00:37:09.360
It switches off into to me. I sometimes I feel

456
00:37:09.400 --> 00:37:15.440
that I'm rehearsing, practicing, rehearsing what I'm going to say.

457
00:37:16.719 --> 00:37:18.400
You know, I know I'm going to go out with

458
00:37:18.960 --> 00:37:23.599
Vin in a few hours, and I kind of know

459
00:37:23.800 --> 00:37:26.880
roughly who I'm going to see, what dogs are going

460
00:37:26.920 --> 00:37:30.719
to be there. And I've realized sometimes I kind of

461
00:37:30.760 --> 00:37:35.480
rehearse things that I'm going to say to these people.

462
00:37:37.360 --> 00:37:39.360
And it's weird because I don't rehearse anything I'm going

463
00:37:39.400 --> 00:37:42.760
to say here. I don't really think about what I'm

464
00:37:42.800 --> 00:37:47.599
going to say until I start doing a recording, unless

465
00:37:47.599 --> 00:37:51.800
it's like a specific recording where I might have a

466
00:37:51.800 --> 00:37:55.280
little bit of information in front of me and stuff,

467
00:37:55.280 --> 00:38:00.280
but not to let me put you to sleeps. But

468
00:38:00.360 --> 00:38:08.800
when I'm dealing with a human, I kind of it's

469
00:38:08.800 --> 00:38:12.119
almost like, actually, I think sometimes I just say the

470
00:38:12.159 --> 00:38:15.599
same thing to everyone, or it's hot today in it

471
00:38:18.519 --> 00:38:22.679
when there's one I was thing saying. I was walking

472
00:38:22.719 --> 00:38:26.840
around after him after Finny, and I had the Pooh

473
00:38:26.880 --> 00:38:31.199
bag on my hand. I was walking around and he

474
00:38:31.280 --> 00:38:34.519
literally took me on a It took me on a

475
00:38:34.599 --> 00:38:38.719
very long walk. So I saw about three different dog

476
00:38:38.760 --> 00:38:42.000
walkers during that journey of me just following him around

477
00:38:42.039 --> 00:38:45.679
the field finding somewhere to do a nice, big smelly

478
00:38:45.719 --> 00:38:49.760
one so I could pick it up. So I'm walking

479
00:38:49.840 --> 00:38:54.039
with him, walking behind him, with this Pooh bag on

480
00:38:54.119 --> 00:39:01.159
my hand ready to use. And I thought to myself,

481
00:39:02.280 --> 00:39:07.320
I must look like the world's worst ventoloquist. You know,

482
00:39:07.719 --> 00:39:11.880
it's just because Pooh bag on my head. It's the

483
00:39:11.920 --> 00:39:15.239
next person I see, I say it to them, and

484
00:39:15.360 --> 00:39:16.920
I say it to the next person. I say it

485
00:39:17.199 --> 00:39:19.079
three different people. I said, I must look like the

486
00:39:19.079 --> 00:39:24.840
worst world's worst vaniloquist. I just like I thought it's funny.

487
00:39:25.000 --> 00:39:28.320
So I think they did laugh. I'm not sure. I

488
00:39:28.360 --> 00:39:31.239
can't remember. I really don't want to be one of

489
00:39:31.239 --> 00:39:38.159
them people that that is out of touch with reality.

490
00:39:39.039 --> 00:39:41.039
That worries me a little bit. I'm not saying I'm

491
00:39:41.079 --> 00:39:47.079
in touch with reality, but I don't want to. I

492
00:39:47.079 --> 00:39:50.760
don't want to be talking at people and not realizing

493
00:39:50.840 --> 00:39:53.559
that they don't want me to be because I have

494
00:39:53.719 --> 00:39:59.599
been that person, and I have to be very careful.

495
00:39:59.639 --> 00:40:05.880
I don't do that, because you know, a conversation has

496
00:40:05.920 --> 00:40:15.599
to be two ways. But I've got my little special

497
00:40:15.639 --> 00:40:25.119
in my little interests. So I've got a tendency of

498
00:40:24.000 --> 00:40:28.239
h of making weird noises with my throat which I

499
00:40:28.239 --> 00:40:33.920
want to just add some water. Oh, God of the

500
00:40:34.719 --> 00:40:41.119
I don't know. I just I think sometimes I'm just

501
00:40:41.159 --> 00:40:48.760
a bit too self aware. It's almost like, oh, I

502
00:40:48.800 --> 00:41:00.199
just found something in my belly bun. What is that? Ah, Oh,

503
00:41:00.239 --> 00:41:03.800
that's a bit of chocolate. It's not, it's not really,

504
00:41:03.880 --> 00:41:09.320
it's a Mars bar. No, it's not. I'm constantly studying

505
00:41:09.320 --> 00:41:15.360
myself and I don't really know how useful that is.

506
00:41:15.440 --> 00:41:25.719
To be honest, I seem to be observing what I'm doing,

507
00:41:25.880 --> 00:41:34.400
what I'm thinking, how I'm talking, my behavior, the things

508
00:41:34.440 --> 00:41:36.920
that I want to say and don't say, the things

509
00:41:36.920 --> 00:41:44.159
that I do say and don't want to say. Yeah,

510
00:41:44.199 --> 00:41:47.760
it's weird. It's kind of weird. Perhaps a little bit

511
00:41:47.760 --> 00:42:02.079
too self conscious, perhaps mm hmm, perhaps just a really

512
00:42:02.199 --> 00:42:07.039
big egotist. But it's not I don't think it's really

513
00:42:07.079 --> 00:42:11.440
in that way, because I like to be in control

514
00:42:12.239 --> 00:42:14.519
of me, but I don't want to be in control

515
00:42:14.559 --> 00:42:18.440
of other people. So that's that's a big difference. I

516
00:42:18.480 --> 00:42:22.519
think I do like to have control over my environment,

517
00:42:24.000 --> 00:42:26.000
but I know that I can only do that in

518
00:42:26.119 --> 00:42:29.400
my environment, which is in this home, this flat, and

519
00:42:29.480 --> 00:42:34.880
even then there's limitations because I've got a very stubborn

520
00:42:35.239 --> 00:42:40.639
little doggie here, and I've also got people around here

521
00:42:40.679 --> 00:42:44.719
that are antisocial, that live outside and live in the

522
00:42:44.760 --> 00:42:49.880
other places, so I can't control them. I can't control him,

523
00:42:50.119 --> 00:42:54.480
but I've got, you know, a general control of the

524
00:42:54.559 --> 00:43:03.000
environment to a degree. When I go out that changes

525
00:43:03.079 --> 00:43:06.960
a little bit. I've noticed that the last week, getting

526
00:43:06.960 --> 00:43:17.440
on buses, getting in taxis, asking people for lifts. It's been, Yeah,

527
00:43:17.480 --> 00:43:21.159
it's been challenging. And there was someone on the bus

528
00:43:21.199 --> 00:43:23.920
the other day that was listening to I think he

529
00:43:24.000 --> 00:43:27.880
was watching a YouTube video on his phone. Was very loud,

530
00:43:29.679 --> 00:43:34.400
and again I might have been reading the signals wrong,

531
00:43:34.440 --> 00:43:36.400
but it looked to me like he was doing it

532
00:43:36.440 --> 00:43:39.880
because he wanted someone to say something. You know, he

533
00:43:40.000 --> 00:43:46.079
was being antisocial and he was just almost egging, egging

534
00:43:46.280 --> 00:43:51.039
the passion passengers to say something so that he could

535
00:43:52.519 --> 00:43:55.760
I don't know what do what. I don't know. It

536
00:43:55.760 --> 00:43:58.280
wouldn't have ended well for him, but it was I

537
00:43:58.280 --> 00:44:01.360
don't know what he wanted out of it. In the end,

538
00:44:01.400 --> 00:44:04.000
the bus driver just showered at him. You turn it down.

539
00:44:04.960 --> 00:44:08.800
He did. He still had on a little bit, but

540
00:44:08.800 --> 00:44:13.360
he was really like he was looking for trouble, and

541
00:44:13.400 --> 00:44:18.000
you're looking for trouble. You were in the red blush.

542
00:44:18.880 --> 00:44:21.280
I cannot I can relate to that. I was a

543
00:44:21.320 --> 00:44:25.679
little bit like that in my early twenties, but this

544
00:44:25.719 --> 00:44:29.239
bloke was in his at least in his thirties, maybe forties,

545
00:44:29.920 --> 00:44:33.800
so it was a little bit like yeah, and it

546
00:44:33.880 --> 00:44:36.280
was it's not good to be like that at any age.

547
00:44:36.320 --> 00:44:41.280
But I suppose there's always a little phase, because he's

548
00:44:41.320 --> 00:44:46.679
going through a little phase. Nice little phase. Oh oh,

549
00:44:47.039 --> 00:44:50.280
he's going through a phase. He's got his he's got

550
00:44:50.320 --> 00:44:54.800
his ra his radio thing. He's a it's a phone,

551
00:44:55.280 --> 00:44:58.559
his phone. He's got his phone on really loud. He's

552
00:44:58.599 --> 00:45:02.239
watching one of those movies things. It's YouTube. He's watching

553
00:45:02.280 --> 00:45:06.719
a YouTube movie. It's a video. He's watching a YouTube

554
00:45:06.800 --> 00:45:11.519
video on his radio, his phone, on his phone. Oh

555
00:45:12.360 --> 00:45:16.159
and it's really loud. He's going through a phase. It's

556
00:45:16.199 --> 00:45:20.239
a phase. Oh everyone, come on, let's give him a

557
00:45:20.360 --> 00:45:29.760
huk and pushing him off the bus. So yeah, bless him.

558
00:45:29.800 --> 00:45:36.840
A weird thing happened to A weird thing happened my neighbor. Actually,

559
00:45:37.960 --> 00:45:40.480
it got into kind of an argument with someone on

560
00:45:40.480 --> 00:45:42.800
one of the wards he was on, because he's now

561
00:45:42.800 --> 00:45:47.840
on a third ward since he's been there, and the

562
00:45:47.920 --> 00:45:53.000
second ward he was on, they some bloke was complaining

563
00:45:53.599 --> 00:45:59.760
about him being too noisy, and yeah, it's being a

564
00:46:00.159 --> 00:46:07.599
bit aggressive and stuff, and they ended up moving my neighbor,

565
00:46:09.159 --> 00:46:13.440
keeping that bloke there, but moving my neighbor. So I've

566
00:46:13.480 --> 00:46:16.000
only got one side of the story. There's there's the

567
00:46:16.000 --> 00:46:18.320
old sailor, isn't it. You know there's three sides to

568
00:46:18.320 --> 00:46:22.480
a story, the two sides and then the truth, both sides,

569
00:46:22.559 --> 00:46:30.239
then the truth. So who knows what exactly occurred. But

570
00:46:30.280 --> 00:46:32.320
I did say to my neighbor, and I thought this

571
00:46:32.480 --> 00:46:35.360
was funny, actually, I said to him, because he told

572
00:46:35.360 --> 00:46:38.159
me on the phone. I said, well, because he'd been

573
00:46:38.199 --> 00:46:40.320
moved to a new warden act to try and find

574
00:46:40.320 --> 00:46:42.840
out where it was. I said, well, you know, when

575
00:46:42.840 --> 00:46:45.679
we go out for a walk, because I take him

576
00:46:45.719 --> 00:46:51.119
out for a sit down in the because in front

577
00:46:51.159 --> 00:46:56.679
of the hospital there's all these chairs and stuff like that.

578
00:46:56.800 --> 00:46:59.599
You can sit down, there's a duck pond. It's very nice.

579
00:46:59.639 --> 00:47:05.079
That's that, you know, especially in this weather. And I

580
00:47:05.079 --> 00:47:06.960
said to him, when we go out, perhaps we'll make

581
00:47:07.280 --> 00:47:09.360
a little visit to that bloke. Go back and over

582
00:47:09.320 --> 00:47:13.440
it all, make a little visit. Perhaps punch him or something.

583
00:47:14.480 --> 00:47:18.639
I was joking, okay, so I was go and see him.

584
00:47:18.840 --> 00:47:20.400
We go out for a walk that day and he said,

585
00:47:20.679 --> 00:47:21.920
on the way back, said we're going to go and

586
00:47:21.960 --> 00:47:29.280
visit that bloke. Then I said, I said no, every

587
00:47:29.480 --> 00:47:32.119
I said, like, look, every everyone's in here because they're

588
00:47:32.159 --> 00:47:34.920
run well. No one's in there for a jolly. They're

589
00:47:34.920 --> 00:47:37.880
not in there for fun, apart from well even in

590
00:47:38.000 --> 00:47:39.880
the nurses and doctors are not in there for fun,

591
00:47:39.880 --> 00:47:48.119
are they. But different people deal with with being unwell differently,

592
00:47:48.599 --> 00:47:51.239
and perhaps his way of dealing with it is by

593
00:47:51.480 --> 00:47:56.519
being annoyed by you, well, you know, by what's going on.

594
00:47:58.639 --> 00:48:02.599
And he was he was cool. I't I'm not sure

595
00:48:02.639 --> 00:48:04.320
if he really I don't know if he was just

596
00:48:04.440 --> 00:48:07.079
joking or not. When he said that to me, should

597
00:48:07.079 --> 00:48:10.960
we go and see him now? But I think twenty

598
00:48:11.039 --> 00:48:14.079
years ago, I think he would have well, that would

599
00:48:14.119 --> 00:48:18.400
have had a different outcome. He's a bit fiery, but

600
00:48:18.440 --> 00:48:23.639
he's you know, he's pretty old now, maybe thirty years ago,

601
00:48:25.119 --> 00:48:29.360
so when that bloke would probably be a baby now,

602
00:48:29.679 --> 00:48:33.159
or he'd be only be about ten so the other blocks,

603
00:48:33.199 --> 00:48:37.519
so that probably wouldn't have been so good. I don't

604
00:48:37.559 --> 00:48:43.599
know old he was mabe forties, fifties, I don't know. Anyway,

605
00:48:44.199 --> 00:48:46.119
I find my dad up just to sort of see

606
00:48:46.119 --> 00:48:48.920
how he's getting on with his treatments. He's in treatment now,

607
00:48:50.320 --> 00:48:52.559
started last week for four weeks, it's going to be

608
00:48:53.559 --> 00:48:58.000
And I told him I've thought it was a funny

609
00:48:58.079 --> 00:49:01.400
story that you know my neighbor, you know, the fact

610
00:49:01.440 --> 00:49:03.400
that he said or she would go and see him.

611
00:49:03.719 --> 00:49:06.679
I thought that was quite quite amusing. Told my dad,

612
00:49:06.719 --> 00:49:10.519
and he was like, we can't do that. Get kicked

613
00:49:10.519 --> 00:49:14.920
out of the wall, you get arrested around. Like my

614
00:49:15.079 --> 00:49:17.880
reaction was, well, I do what I want to do firstly,

615
00:49:18.599 --> 00:49:20.480
and tell me what I can do, but of course

616
00:49:20.480 --> 00:49:24.159
I'm not going to do it. Like it was so ridiculous.

617
00:49:24.320 --> 00:49:29.400
I just it was I don't know it. It turned

618
00:49:29.400 --> 00:49:34.039
a nice conversation into just awkwardness for no reason on

619
00:49:34.119 --> 00:49:37.159
the phone with my dad, like why, and his wife

620
00:49:37.280 --> 00:49:39.800
was there saying the same things, all but you're get

621
00:49:39.800 --> 00:49:42.280
in trouble, you won't be allowed back in the hospital.

622
00:49:42.400 --> 00:49:45.239
Like I didn't say I was going to actually do it.

623
00:49:46.360 --> 00:49:47.840
He really felt I'm going to walk up to side

624
00:49:47.880 --> 00:49:54.079
in the hospital bed and start, you know, being naughty, aggressive,

625
00:49:54.119 --> 00:49:57.000
and of course I'm not. I don't know what they

626
00:49:57.039 --> 00:50:06.360
think of me. Honestly, it's I've got that off my

627
00:50:06.440 --> 00:50:08.960
chest now I can't move on. How does it really

628
00:50:09.000 --> 00:50:09.440
annoyed me?

629
00:50:10.719 --> 00:50:10.880
Oh?

630
00:50:12.760 --> 00:50:15.719
It's weird though, because my dad started treatment on Wednesday.

631
00:50:16.559 --> 00:50:21.880
I spoke to him on the Tuesday. I didn't know

632
00:50:22.039 --> 00:50:24.119
was having it. He had just been on holiday, just

633
00:50:24.159 --> 00:50:27.760
to see how his holiday was and when his treatment starts. Oh,

634
00:50:27.800 --> 00:50:30.480
it starts tomorrow. I said, well, I was going to

635
00:50:30.559 --> 00:50:33.079
say to you, which I thought about for quite a while,

636
00:50:33.880 --> 00:50:38.599
is going up to the hospital with him on the

637
00:50:38.599 --> 00:50:40.559
first day of his treatment, just to be a bit

638
00:50:40.559 --> 00:50:43.559
of emotional support. I know his wife's going to be there,

639
00:50:43.559 --> 00:50:45.599
but I thought it'd just be a nice thing. And

640
00:50:45.840 --> 00:50:48.599
he said no, I said, for he'd just cover a

641
00:50:48.599 --> 00:50:51.320
cup of coffee. I'm not gonnaed to drink coffee. It's

642
00:50:51.440 --> 00:50:59.519
really negative towards me, Like, okay, I just thought maybe

643
00:50:59.559 --> 00:51:04.519
it'd be no, and it just seemed weird that my

644
00:51:04.599 --> 00:51:07.880
neighbor wants me to visit. He wants me to be

645
00:51:08.039 --> 00:51:11.760
there with him, but my own dad doesn't. I know.

646
00:51:11.840 --> 00:51:14.079
It was only it was a hospital visit and it

647
00:51:14.119 --> 00:51:17.599
was to have treatment. But I just thought it'd be

648
00:51:17.679 --> 00:51:20.000
a nice thing to do, just to be there for

649
00:51:20.079 --> 00:51:29.039
him in a time of need, maybe rather than just

650
00:51:29.039 --> 00:51:31.760
just I don't know. I don't know what I was thinking.

651
00:51:31.800 --> 00:51:32.039
Really.

652
00:51:33.920 --> 00:51:38.039
I thought maybe it'd be a nice thing. But it's strange,

653
00:51:41.440 --> 00:51:46.639
very strange. But yeah, he definitely didn't want me visiting.

654
00:51:46.800 --> 00:51:49.320
He said he didn't want me visiting or not visiting.

655
00:51:49.360 --> 00:51:52.599
He doesn't want me to go there. I said, well,

656
00:51:53.039 --> 00:51:55.199
I could just see you, give you a hub before

657
00:51:55.199 --> 00:51:58.519
you go in or no, it's right, just didn't didn't

658
00:51:58.559 --> 00:52:03.960
want me yet. Some bloke that i've a neighbor I've

659
00:52:04.000 --> 00:52:09.800
known for ten years is asking me when I'm going

660
00:52:09.840 --> 00:52:13.840
to go up next, phone me up, you know. As

661
00:52:13.880 --> 00:52:15.880
well as being seeing him every day, I'm speaking to

662
00:52:15.960 --> 00:52:19.159
on the phone probably twice, one in the morning before

663
00:52:19.159 --> 00:52:25.840
I go in and one in the evening. It seems

664
00:52:25.840 --> 00:52:28.880
to be strange that I had this weird relationship with family.

665
00:52:29.199 --> 00:52:32.400
I seem to be more appreciated by strangers than by

666
00:52:32.480 --> 00:52:36.880
people that actually know me or think. I think I'm

667
00:52:36.920 --> 00:52:41.920
just known. I think I'm the real me is known

668
00:52:41.960 --> 00:52:47.239
better by people that don't know me. I don't know

669
00:52:47.239 --> 00:52:52.159
if that makes sense. Family don't know me, they don't

670
00:52:52.199 --> 00:53:01.079
know me the real me, and I think neighbors I've

671
00:53:01.079 --> 00:53:05.199
got to see the real me people that I've helped,

672
00:53:06.000 --> 00:53:11.760
And so I think if you help people for no reason,

673
00:53:13.039 --> 00:53:15.440
they get to see it's not the reason to do

674
00:53:15.480 --> 00:53:21.639
it for me, but they get to realize that. Oh,

675
00:53:22.079 --> 00:53:25.599
because I think that some people, it's quite an unusual

676
00:53:25.639 --> 00:53:31.400
situation to give without expecting anything back. I mean, I've

677
00:53:31.400 --> 00:53:35.320
got help this week from people that want something back,

678
00:53:37.320 --> 00:53:41.159
then I've got you know, so I've had lifts. I've

679
00:53:41.159 --> 00:53:44.920
had three lifts this week, two of them by someone

680
00:53:45.280 --> 00:53:49.280
that gets paid to take me. The other one was

681
00:53:49.280 --> 00:53:54.800
by someone They didn't want anything, so it's kind of

682
00:53:55.920 --> 00:54:00.400
I offered the money to both. One said no, the

683
00:54:00.440 --> 00:54:06.159
other person said yes, and one went out of their

684
00:54:06.159 --> 00:54:09.599
way to take me and the other one and he

685
00:54:09.679 --> 00:54:13.840
took me because it was going where they were going anyway,

686
00:54:14.599 --> 00:54:18.880
So it is that's the person that went out of

687
00:54:18.880 --> 00:54:20.079
their way to take me. It was the one they

688
00:54:20.079 --> 00:54:22.639
didn't want any money. It's kind of just a weird

689
00:54:23.119 --> 00:54:26.159
if they're both helping, and I was grateful for both.

690
00:54:26.239 --> 00:54:32.440
But it's just a different, different way of thinking. And

691
00:54:32.480 --> 00:54:36.079
I quite like that because that's the way I think is.

692
00:54:40.199 --> 00:54:46.440
I don't know, that just feels right, you know, helping

693
00:54:46.559 --> 00:54:53.599
someone feels right, It just feels nice. So technically, I

694
00:54:53.679 --> 00:54:59.920
suppose it could just be unselfish. I'm just just making

695
00:55:00.039 --> 00:55:05.000
myself feel nice by helping the neighbors and doing stuff.

696
00:55:05.840 --> 00:55:08.199
Maybe that's all it is. And to me, that's a

697
00:55:08.239 --> 00:55:14.360
win win because if I get to feel good and

698
00:55:14.400 --> 00:55:17.280
they feel the benefit as well, then that's a win

699
00:55:17.400 --> 00:55:24.440
win all around, I suppose. And I imagine my neighbor

700
00:55:24.639 --> 00:55:29.679
that gave me a lyft, that didn't want anything, felt

701
00:55:29.679 --> 00:55:34.159
good for helping me. And he's only a young lad,

702
00:55:34.199 --> 00:55:39.360
he's only like twenty twenty one something like that, and

703
00:55:39.400 --> 00:55:45.079
I was lovely such a you know, he potentially hear

704
00:55:45.159 --> 00:55:48.400
the dogs in the back ground. He potentially made himself

705
00:55:48.480 --> 00:55:53.519
late for work. So I said to him, look, can

706
00:55:53.599 --> 00:55:56.400
you hear that? Dide? I just swear that didn't I.

707
00:55:56.400 --> 00:56:01.400
I just said a naughty word. Bloody dog. H I

708
00:56:01.440 --> 00:56:03.639
can't moan about dogs because he does the same, this

709
00:56:03.679 --> 00:56:09.599
one except him, he's like, he screeches. It's so high

710
00:56:09.639 --> 00:56:16.079
pitched it rattles the windows, rattles the windows of mes Sole.

711
00:56:23.800 --> 00:56:26.480
So it's been a weird week. It's been a weird,

712
00:56:26.719 --> 00:56:39.880
weird week. It seems to have lasted. Really. The dog

713
00:56:39.960 --> 00:56:43.400
doesn't doesn't onnly bark quite so much. It's probably a

714
00:56:43.440 --> 00:56:47.000
cat in the garden or the kid. Maybe the kid

715
00:56:47.000 --> 00:56:51.519
out there just playing with it of been his tail's

716
00:56:51.559 --> 00:56:56.719
going now, so he's hearing. He's hearing the dog. Did

717
00:56:56.760 --> 00:57:00.239
your tail discope, Bennie, are you excited about it with

718
00:57:00.239 --> 00:57:11.679
the doggie? He excited? Yeah. The week feels like it's

719
00:57:13.880 --> 00:57:20.719
lasted a long time. It doesn't really feel as if

720
00:57:20.719 --> 00:57:26.679
it's gone. It's gone quickly at all. That might be

721
00:57:26.760 --> 00:57:32.039
partly because I've got a lot done. I know, I

722
00:57:32.079 --> 00:57:37.840
haven't made loads of recordings, but I've done a few,

723
00:57:40.519 --> 00:57:49.079
and I've done a lot of traveling, A lot of

724
00:57:49.119 --> 00:57:55.199
traveling and I worked it out the other day with

725
00:57:55.320 --> 00:58:01.840
yesterday that I think I've been out more in the

726
00:58:01.920 --> 00:58:10.039
last nine days, like probably than I have done in

727
00:58:10.119 --> 00:58:18.440
the last two years, maybe three years, maybe two years.

728
00:58:21.920 --> 00:58:30.599
Actually leave in the area that I live. Yees oh wait,

729
00:58:30.639 --> 00:58:33.039
wait a minute. In January, didn't I did? Did I

730
00:58:33.840 --> 00:58:36.199
jiu jitsu? Didn't I? So I went there a few

731
00:58:36.239 --> 00:58:41.880
times or a couple of times. That's two journeys out.

732
00:58:49.199 --> 00:58:53.639
Hm hmm. That was in the winter. It was cold.

733
00:58:54.440 --> 00:59:01.719
It was cold. It's really I try not to moan

734
00:59:01.760 --> 00:59:07.559
too much about the weather. The only weather that annoys me, well,

735
00:59:07.599 --> 00:59:11.960
the only okay, the only weather that affects me really

736
00:59:13.199 --> 00:59:21.320
is rain, just because of this little one. And he

737
00:59:21.519 --> 00:59:27.800
just refuses if it's raining, he refuses to do his

738
00:59:27.880 --> 00:59:34.079
business quickly. It's almost like he wants to take his time. Now.

739
00:59:34.159 --> 00:59:36.960
In reality, he might just be doing exactly what he

740
00:59:37.000 --> 00:59:42.199
normally does. But I'm getting wet and I don't want

741
00:59:42.199 --> 00:59:45.639
to get wet or the rain when it's windy as well,

742
00:59:45.679 --> 00:59:50.239
so I can't use me bolli, so the umbrella can't

743
00:59:50.239 --> 01:00:01.519
be used. It's just okay, yeah, especially at night, so

744
01:00:01.599 --> 01:00:06.159
I can't see anything much. It's raining and it's windy,

745
01:00:08.079 --> 01:00:12.480
or even if it's raining, and then I've got so,

746
01:00:12.519 --> 01:00:14.559
I've got my torch. My torch is broken, so I

747
01:00:14.559 --> 01:00:18.719
have to get a new torch. As holding a torch,

748
01:00:18.800 --> 01:00:25.400
holding a brolley and trying to steer this little one

749
01:00:26.079 --> 01:00:32.079
and pick up his bits and bobs after he's sprinkle

750
01:00:32.159 --> 01:00:38.159
them onto the floor, let them fall down like little anchors.

751
01:00:39.280 --> 01:00:45.079
Have a little boat fill. His poos are very much

752
01:00:45.239 --> 01:00:54.320
like angers. Yeah, it's something I didn't realize. I was

753
01:00:54.320 --> 01:00:57.440
watching Words or Gummage earlier, and it was the original

754
01:00:57.480 --> 01:01:02.760
words are coming from the probably early eighties, late seventies,

755
01:01:02.800 --> 01:01:09.559
early eighties, And there was another character in it that

756
01:01:09.599 --> 01:01:12.079
I'd not seen before, or at least i'd forgotten about,

757
01:01:12.719 --> 01:01:16.639
and it was Barbara Windsor. She was like this porcelain

758
01:01:17.280 --> 01:01:22.199
statue and Barbara Windsor, I mean, she looked young there

759
01:01:26.239 --> 01:01:30.119
and she would have been I mean, she wasn't old,

760
01:01:30.119 --> 01:01:32.159
but she would have probably been in her forties at

761
01:01:32.159 --> 01:01:38.400
that point. But she just looked so young and because

762
01:01:38.440 --> 01:01:42.440
she I wait a minute, no, she was in Was

763
01:01:42.480 --> 01:01:46.639
she in the carry On movies in the sixties or

764
01:01:46.760 --> 01:01:50.559
was the seventies that Barbara Windsor was in the carry

765
01:01:50.559 --> 01:01:59.079
On movies. I'm not sure because yeah, she might have

766
01:01:59.159 --> 01:02:04.920
just been still in a thirties. She just looked so young.

767
01:02:05.000 --> 01:02:07.920
I had not seen her outside of the carry On movies.

768
01:02:08.239 --> 01:02:12.599
I'd not seen Barbara Windsor look young like that kind

769
01:02:12.639 --> 01:02:17.119
of you know, young, because when she was in EastEnders

770
01:02:17.679 --> 01:02:22.639
she was a lot older, and she was probably in

771
01:02:22.679 --> 01:02:26.760
her seventies, sixties and seventies or whatever, fifties, sixties, seventies.

772
01:02:29.639 --> 01:02:34.519
I've forgotten, like what she looked like. I've never seen her.

773
01:02:34.880 --> 01:02:37.320
It was out of context. I've seen her in two

774
01:02:37.400 --> 01:02:41.360
different places, the carry On Movies and EastEnders, and there

775
01:02:41.440 --> 01:02:47.320
was many years between them. Never seen her in anything else.

776
01:02:48.719 --> 01:02:52.320
So this is the first time and I was like, wow, okay,

777
01:02:53.199 --> 01:02:56.119
that's the Barbara winds I remember from the carry On movies.

778
01:03:00.000 --> 01:03:02.119
It's for me nothing. If you don't know who Barbara

779
01:03:02.199 --> 01:03:06.000
Windsor is, and if you don't know what to carry

780
01:03:06.000 --> 01:03:11.960
On movies are, and they are a I haven't. I

781
01:03:11.920 --> 01:03:21.159
had to explain it. Really, they are a heritage from

782
01:03:21.239 --> 01:03:29.880
this country. They were they were comedy comedy movies, and

783
01:03:30.000 --> 01:03:33.800
I love them. I still love them. Not everyone's cup

784
01:03:33.840 --> 01:03:36.559
of tea, of course, never no one and no one,

785
01:03:37.159 --> 01:03:40.440
no one's ever going to love everything they By the way,

786
01:03:40.559 --> 01:03:48.719
I watched a movie called The Amateur, and it's really good.

787
01:03:50.400 --> 01:03:53.480
It's really good. It's got I can't remember his name.

788
01:03:57.079 --> 01:04:00.000
It's got quite a few famous people, quite yeah, quite

789
01:04:00.000 --> 01:04:04.000
a few big names in it. It's really good movie. Unfortunately,

790
01:04:04.679 --> 01:04:06.519
I think the problem with some of these movies that

791
01:04:06.559 --> 01:04:11.239
are coming out is the titles. The titles don't give

792
01:04:11.280 --> 01:04:13.519
away really. I mean it does, I guess if you

793
01:04:13.559 --> 01:04:17.159
think about it. But now seeing it, The Amateur makes

794
01:04:17.320 --> 01:04:23.360
kind of sense. But it's all like espionage, and that

795
01:04:23.400 --> 01:04:29.880
doesn't really interest me so much, you know. But it's

796
01:04:30.000 --> 01:04:40.639
really good, really good. Yeah, I liked it. And I

797
01:04:40.679 --> 01:04:46.079
find myself not watching movies because they just don't look

798
01:04:46.119 --> 01:04:50.599
a bit bland. Like the cover. The descripture doesn't even

799
01:04:50.639 --> 01:05:01.760
sound interesting. Nice playing going past. I did watch a

800
01:05:01.800 --> 01:05:03.639
movie the other day called, I think it's called The

801
01:05:03.679 --> 01:05:12.360
Death of Stalin, very funny. Amando Nucci, I think is

802
01:05:12.400 --> 01:05:19.280
the person that wrote it. Amando Amando A. Nucci. I

803
01:05:19.360 --> 01:05:24.559
think that's his name, is phenomenal. I think he wrote

804
01:05:24.639 --> 01:05:27.360
in the thick of It or the thick of It,

805
01:05:27.280 --> 01:05:34.239
it's very, very funny, bloke, great writer and very different

806
01:05:34.280 --> 01:05:38.079
from anything. I think he's got a different way of

807
01:05:38.119 --> 01:05:46.119
looking at the world to any other writer or producer

808
01:05:46.199 --> 01:05:48.920
that I've seen. I don't know if he produced it,

809
01:05:48.960 --> 01:05:53.800
but he wrote it. It's really good. It's very funny.

810
01:05:53.920 --> 01:05:58.079
It's just and because they didn't do you know, when

811
01:05:58.079 --> 01:06:02.880
they do movies and they have they put on accents

812
01:06:03.000 --> 01:06:05.400
and stuff like that. They didn't bother with this. They

813
01:06:05.440 --> 01:06:12.079
didn't need it, and I don't think it's needed really.

814
01:06:13.679 --> 01:06:19.159
I know some some producers or directors are looking for

815
01:06:19.239 --> 01:06:26.159
some kind of authenticity, so they'll, you know, they'll have

816
01:06:27.199 --> 01:06:32.519
try and put on foreign accents. And this didn't even bother,

817
01:06:32.800 --> 01:06:37.639
even Starling. Starling himself was a company, like a Londoner.

818
01:06:39.800 --> 01:06:46.360
And it was funny. It's just it's great. It's a really, really,

819
01:06:46.360 --> 01:06:50.360
really good movie. I started to watch it years ago

820
01:06:50.440 --> 01:06:53.079
because not a new one started to watch it years ago,

821
01:06:53.119 --> 01:06:56.880
but I didn't. I don't know. Sometimes I'm not in

822
01:06:56.880 --> 01:07:01.639
the mood and I just give up watching something because

823
01:07:01.639 --> 01:07:04.280
it doesn't it doesn't catch me, it doesn't grab me.

824
01:07:07.559 --> 01:07:09.320
I'd tell you a couple of things were like that.

825
01:07:09.559 --> 01:07:18.000
One was You're gonna be surprised at this Sopranos. I

826
01:07:18.199 --> 01:07:21.960
thought it was a part of poo poop when it

827
01:07:22.000 --> 01:07:24.480
first came out. Watch a little bit of it, and

828
01:07:24.519 --> 01:07:29.239
I thought, naw, see you, I don't want anything to

829
01:07:29.280 --> 01:07:31.480
do with it. I thought, oh god, this is boring.

830
01:07:31.639 --> 01:07:35.960
It's just another one, another Robert de Niro Want to

831
01:07:36.000 --> 01:07:40.320
Be movie. You know, It's like, nah, it's being done

832
01:07:40.360 --> 01:07:44.360
to death. It ended up being one of my favorite

833
01:07:44.400 --> 01:07:50.079
TV shows probably ever, because it was a great show.

834
01:07:50.239 --> 01:07:54.159
I mean arguably by millions of people that loved it.

835
01:07:54.719 --> 01:07:59.719
I just at just the start, I just thought, and

836
01:07:59.800 --> 01:08:03.480
it was really promoted. It was, you know, this big thing.

837
01:08:03.519 --> 01:08:07.599
I watched a new TV show, The Soprano's new HBO show.

838
01:08:08.400 --> 01:08:11.000
It's going to be on Channel four on Sunday nights,

839
01:08:11.000 --> 01:08:13.280
starting with a double episode.

840
01:08:16.239 --> 01:08:17.680
For Nyeah.

841
01:08:17.880 --> 01:08:21.560
Now you're right, And then I ended up watching it

842
01:08:21.600 --> 01:08:24.279
for what ten eleven years whatever it was on.

843
01:08:27.720 --> 01:08:28.000
Yeah.

844
01:08:28.319 --> 01:08:34.279
Wow. It started when I was in London, started when

845
01:08:34.279 --> 01:08:38.279
I was in London, and it finished when I was

846
01:08:38.680 --> 01:08:42.640
I think in the last the last year of university

847
01:08:43.199 --> 01:08:52.600
or the second year of university. That's crazy in it.

848
01:08:55.840 --> 01:09:00.800
Apologies for the squeaky sounds in the background to neighbors.

849
01:09:04.479 --> 01:09:06.920
I think it's quite a little echoy area dout there.

850
01:09:07.239 --> 01:09:11.439
That's what it was. I don't think it's so much

851
01:09:11.479 --> 01:09:14.399
that people are talking really loudly. They are, but I

852
01:09:14.439 --> 01:09:17.199
don't think it's it's I don't think they're talking. I

853
01:09:17.239 --> 01:09:19.760
think they probably just talking normal volume. No they're not.

854
01:09:20.520 --> 01:09:24.239
It's echoy. So it's like a little echo chamber. And

855
01:09:27.359 --> 01:09:30.159
we have a similar thing in this garden, but it

856
01:09:30.239 --> 01:09:34.720
seems to catch the wind sometimes, like the wind seems

857
01:09:34.760 --> 01:09:45.199
to move around the garden. M Another TV show was

858
01:09:46.039 --> 01:09:52.319
I tried to watch this multiple times. It was The

859
01:09:52.399 --> 01:09:56.079
Walking Dead. I tried to watch it and I only

860
01:09:56.119 --> 01:09:58.840
got as far as there's the beginning of heart. I'm

861
01:09:58.840 --> 01:10:00.479
not going to spoil it, really, I just tell you

862
01:10:00.880 --> 01:10:04.439
he wakes up in a hospital and he walked out

863
01:10:04.479 --> 01:10:09.039
of the hospital and then he sees her there were

864
01:10:09.239 --> 01:10:13.279
the first zombie or whatever, and I just turned it off.

865
01:10:14.119 --> 01:10:19.119
I just got off board. I tried to watch it

866
01:10:19.119 --> 01:10:22.760
probably about five six times, thinking to myself, well, this

867
01:10:22.840 --> 01:10:26.319
is a popular TV show, I should really give it

868
01:10:26.359 --> 01:10:31.800
another go. And at this point I think there's probably

869
01:10:31.800 --> 01:10:38.920
into season three at that time. Because I hadn't yeah,

870
01:10:38.960 --> 01:10:42.640
because I hadn't had any decent internet that was even

871
01:10:42.960 --> 01:10:49.039
fast enough to stream Netflix at that time, and back then,

872
01:10:49.159 --> 01:10:52.640
Netflix was pretty much the I think Amazon was around

873
01:10:52.640 --> 01:10:57.199
as well, but they were the two main ones, Amazon

874
01:10:57.239 --> 01:11:01.439
and Netflix. There was no Apple Teeth, there was no

875
01:11:01.439 --> 01:11:05.960
now TV I don't think which was Sky, and there

876
01:11:06.000 --> 01:11:14.399
was no Paramount streaming, and there would have been no

877
01:11:14.640 --> 01:11:22.279
Disney Plus streaming, so it's MGM streaming, so it's kind

878
01:11:22.279 --> 01:11:26.680
of a bit limited. Netflix was pretty much the main one,

879
01:11:26.960 --> 01:11:31.319
and apparently I only needed five megabytes a second to

880
01:11:31.439 --> 01:11:34.279
stream Netflix and I didn't. My internet didn't even cover that.

881
01:11:36.560 --> 01:11:37.640
It's like wow.

882
01:11:40.000 --> 01:11:46.880
So it wasn't really until I I think I moved

883
01:11:46.960 --> 01:11:58.479
in here that I started watching The Walking Dead. Unless

884
01:11:58.520 --> 01:12:02.399
I did, I maybe downloaded it, I can't remember. I

885
01:12:02.439 --> 01:12:08.279
know I downloaded all of the episodes of Frasier. I

886
01:12:08.319 --> 01:12:12.920
think I downloaded all the episodes of Cheers and I

887
01:12:12.960 --> 01:12:17.199
watched them every day. This was during the period when

888
01:12:17.239 --> 01:12:25.319
I was I suppose probably waiting for this place, that

889
01:12:25.840 --> 01:12:31.760
year two year period when I was kind of in

890
01:12:31.800 --> 01:12:40.840
a bit of a limbo LIMBOI period. Yeah, I watched

891
01:12:40.920 --> 01:12:45.039
every single episode of Frasier. I think I probably watched

892
01:12:45.079 --> 01:12:47.640
a couple of episodes a day while I was having breakfast,

893
01:12:49.319 --> 01:12:56.960
And I don't think I even had a television at

894
01:12:56.960 --> 01:13:06.079
that time, which is weird. No, I must have had

895
01:13:06.119 --> 01:13:09.079
a television. How could I not have had a television.

896
01:13:09.640 --> 01:13:12.560
I think I did. Yeah, I did have a television.

897
01:13:16.720 --> 01:13:26.880
Yeah.

898
01:13:27.039 --> 01:13:43.199
Another one was what's his name? Hear the sounds? I

899
01:13:43.199 --> 01:13:47.359
don't know if you can hear them. I'm not I

900
01:13:47.399 --> 01:13:49.439
can hear them, so I mentioned you can hear it

901
01:13:49.479 --> 01:13:57.960
will be less. Why they shouted? I sometimes think that

902
01:13:58.000 --> 01:13:59.960
the adults are just saying to the kids, shout now

903
01:14:00.119 --> 01:14:06.359
on he's making a podcast up there, shall because they're bored.

904
01:14:07.840 --> 01:14:17.119
But I'm probably just imagining that. Maybe there was. Remember

905
01:14:17.279 --> 01:14:19.560
when I first moved in there, there was a little

906
01:14:19.560 --> 01:14:23.680
bit of a neighborly dispute going on between this bloke

907
01:14:23.720 --> 01:14:27.479
that lived downstairs and the bloke that lived upstairs and

908
01:14:27.560 --> 01:14:33.680
the bloke lived downstairs. I had a few friends, like

909
01:14:33.840 --> 01:14:37.479
other neighbors, and they were literally standing outside. This is

910
01:14:37.520 --> 01:14:44.119
early in the morning, and you know those things that

911
01:14:44.199 --> 01:14:48.920
go bang, you know, like little gunpowder, a little gunpowder

912
01:14:49.239 --> 01:14:51.239
packages and you used to chuck them on the floor

913
01:14:51.239 --> 01:14:55.720
and they go bang, but were really loud. They had

914
01:14:55.760 --> 01:14:57.560
them and they were chucking them up at his window,

915
01:14:58.720 --> 01:15:06.520
those bedroom window. And that was quite early on when

916
01:15:06.520 --> 01:15:13.960
I first moved in. And that's when I realized what

917
01:15:14.039 --> 01:15:21.279
I've done, because that is the mentality of some of

918
01:15:21.279 --> 01:15:26.159
the people that have lived around it, because it's very

919
01:15:26.439 --> 01:15:32.760
That's not adult behavior, is it. And I thought, wow,

920
01:15:36.640 --> 01:15:39.960
that's very stray. I'll tell you one day, because I

921
01:15:40.000 --> 01:15:42.479
don't really tell I don't talk about what's happened around it.

922
01:15:42.920 --> 01:15:49.159
One day, I need to write a little book. I'll

923
01:15:49.159 --> 01:15:52.199
do it vaguely. I'm not going to just mention anyone's names.

924
01:15:52.239 --> 01:15:56.199
The fact I can't remember anyone's names anyway, because they're

925
01:15:56.239 --> 01:15:59.399
just people have come and gone. Some of the things

926
01:15:59.399 --> 01:16:06.000
I've seen, Wow, some of the things you wouldn't believe it.

927
01:16:08.319 --> 01:16:11.079
I saw a couple of neighbors getting to punch up

928
01:16:11.119 --> 01:16:16.520
os and frozen sausages. Hm, it's true. Wow.

929
01:16:18.720 --> 01:16:18.840
Uh.

930
01:16:21.239 --> 01:16:25.119
I remember once my friend downstairs, he came home. He

931
01:16:25.199 --> 01:16:28.399
was with his cousin and his cousin's kid, but he

932
01:16:28.640 --> 01:16:32.600
was a little bit worse for where before he even

933
01:16:32.640 --> 01:16:36.800
went out, he got escorted back by the police. We

934
01:16:36.920 --> 01:16:45.880
got brought back by the police. And I think this

935
01:16:46.039 --> 01:16:50.000
is before I got finny, but yeah, I'm not sure

936
01:16:51.119 --> 01:16:52.640
I think it was yet. It would have probably been

937
01:16:52.680 --> 01:16:59.159
before that. So my friend was telling me he was

938
01:16:59.199 --> 01:17:01.359
a little bit bruied. So he said that he got

939
01:17:01.479 --> 01:17:09.439
started on by there was like six blokes and this

940
01:17:09.479 --> 01:17:12.039
is him outside. So he's outside the police car. He's

941
01:17:12.079 --> 01:17:14.159
not in trouble or anything. The police had brought him home.

942
01:17:14.960 --> 01:17:21.199
So I think he was struggling to really function, and

943
01:17:21.319 --> 01:17:23.079
I think he just went up to them and just

944
01:17:24.119 --> 01:17:27.359
they didn't like him approaching them or something. I don't know.

945
01:17:28.840 --> 01:17:34.720
And yeah, well we stopped a few because he could

946
01:17:34.880 --> 01:17:36.960
he was struggling to walk. It was because of what

947
01:17:37.039 --> 01:17:40.600
he had ingested, whether it was alcohol or whatever. So

948
01:17:40.680 --> 01:17:43.760
he was very worse aware as I said. So we

949
01:17:43.760 --> 01:17:51.039
were stopping every few seconds, and he teld me this story.

950
01:17:51.680 --> 01:17:55.199
It'd tell it over again, and it'd changed every time.

951
01:17:55.600 --> 01:17:58.640
By the time we got inside his flat, there were

952
01:17:58.880 --> 01:18:04.720
thirty men that started on him in the park, three hundred.

953
01:18:05.560 --> 01:18:13.239
It just kept expanding, so, you know, I don't know,

954
01:18:13.279 --> 01:18:15.119
I don't know what he was talking about. An end,

955
01:18:15.920 --> 01:18:19.000
it was funny, you know, started off at six, ended

956
01:18:19.039 --> 01:18:23.880
up at thirty, and it started off there was six

957
01:18:24.399 --> 01:18:30.520
teenagers that were just being a bit obnoxious, and then

958
01:18:30.560 --> 01:18:35.800
it ended up being like thirty raw marines in tanks.

959
01:18:37.000 --> 01:18:42.640
It was like, what the heck's going on here? I

960
01:18:42.640 --> 01:18:47.199
remember the only time because he used to love to lie,

961
01:18:48.079 --> 01:18:53.039
but sometimes it was obvious. Sometimes it was less obvious,

962
01:18:53.119 --> 01:18:56.399
and we'd laugh at stuff, you know. But remember once

963
01:18:56.439 --> 01:18:59.479
he said something and I said, I'm calling bs on that,

964
01:19:00.880 --> 01:19:03.560
and he couldn't stop laughing because he wasn't used to

965
01:19:03.600 --> 01:19:05.680
people standing up to him to be I think, like

966
01:19:05.760 --> 01:19:08.359
pulling it or pulling him up on stuff like that.

967
01:19:08.880 --> 01:19:13.479
But it was so ridiculous what he said, because I knew,

968
01:19:14.319 --> 01:19:17.359
I literally knew the truth, I knew what was what.

969
01:19:19.920 --> 01:19:23.079
I wasn't in the mood for just going along with it.

970
01:19:23.119 --> 01:19:24.840
You know, sometimes I just go along with it just

971
01:19:24.840 --> 01:19:27.479
for the sake of it. It was easier if it

972
01:19:27.560 --> 01:19:29.760
depended on how he was, what his mood was like,

973
01:19:30.119 --> 01:19:33.039
or what my mood was like. But on that occasion,

974
01:19:33.079 --> 01:19:36.479
my mood wasn't prepared to put up with it. And

975
01:19:36.600 --> 01:19:40.920
I said, I'm calling BS on that. That might not

976
01:19:40.920 --> 01:19:44.760
be in the words I used, but you know, and

977
01:19:44.800 --> 01:19:48.239
he just stopped and looked at me, and literally he

978
01:19:48.279 --> 01:19:53.399
couldn't stop laughing. It was just because he said, you

979
01:19:53.439 --> 01:19:55.159
don't normally say stuff like that to me. I said,

980
01:19:55.159 --> 01:19:57.920
I know, but come on, I kind of bothered. He's

981
01:19:57.920 --> 01:20:02.800
just talking rubbish, absolutely rubbish, and he just said I know,

982
01:20:03.000 --> 01:20:07.439
but he just I don't know. It's a very funny moment,

983
01:20:07.680 --> 01:20:12.079
a very funny moment. There was another time with him,

984
01:20:12.520 --> 01:20:15.720
So we had another friend who I'm still friends with,

985
01:20:16.479 --> 01:20:20.800
who came in here and he I think we was

986
01:20:20.840 --> 01:20:27.039
watching boxing. Very likely it was boxing, because that was

987
01:20:27.079 --> 01:20:30.840
often the only time that Saturday evening where my friend

988
01:20:30.880 --> 01:20:35.640
would be upstairs with me because normally, well normally on

989
01:20:35.640 --> 01:20:39.000
a Saturday night, I watched boxing or I'm left alone.

990
01:20:39.359 --> 01:20:41.359
So if he's up here, it's usually because boxing's on

991
01:20:42.960 --> 01:20:48.840
or when he was around is So my other friend

992
01:20:48.880 --> 01:20:51.840
comes up, well, it's more he was like mutual friend

993
01:20:51.840 --> 01:20:53.760
of both of us and other neighbors. So he came in.

994
01:20:54.000 --> 01:20:56.439
He was just sitting next to me and he said,

995
01:20:57.000 --> 01:20:59.800
I was sitting at my table, he was sitting on

996
01:20:59.840 --> 01:21:05.479
him here, and my other friend, my friend downstairs, was

997
01:21:05.520 --> 01:21:12.319
sitting on a chair over there. So the new friend

998
01:21:12.359 --> 01:21:14.560
that just come in, he said, oh you O k

999
01:21:14.760 --> 01:21:22.239
if I if I light up A A j O,

1000
01:21:22.560 --> 01:21:34.600
I n T. It rhymes with point point point shoint

1001
01:21:35.079 --> 01:21:38.439
looint point. I can't think of a word that is

1002
01:21:38.439 --> 01:21:46.399
a proper word that rhymes like that. Point hmmm, point

1003
01:21:46.640 --> 01:21:51.279
point that said rhymes of point anyway, I said, yeah,

1004
01:21:51.319 --> 01:21:57.159
I suppose, I don't care. I think he was just

1005
01:21:57.199 --> 01:21:59.039
sitting there having a beer and I was sitting there,

1006
01:21:59.039 --> 01:22:06.600
probably drinking cocaine cola. And this stuff was so pungent

1007
01:22:06.920 --> 01:22:09.600
because I don't I don't touch that stuff, and he's

1008
01:22:09.640 --> 01:22:15.199
like so pungent, and I was, I was coughing a

1009
01:22:15.279 --> 01:22:22.600
little bit. He he my friend downstairs away was like

1010
01:22:23.079 --> 01:22:28.880
looking at me like, oh, it's awful smell. So my

1011
01:22:28.960 --> 01:22:33.920
friend with the with thing the rhymes with point, he said,

1012
01:22:34.000 --> 01:22:36.319
kind of borrow the toilet. I said, as long as

1013
01:22:36.319 --> 01:22:39.600
you give it back. We all laughed and he said okay,

1014
01:22:39.920 --> 01:22:44.119
So he went to a toilet. Luke, my mother friend

1015
01:22:44.159 --> 01:22:47.239
from downstairs, he said to me, you can't please ask

1016
01:22:47.319 --> 01:22:50.039
him just to put that out is making me choke,

1017
01:22:50.960 --> 01:22:54.279
because Luke did have really bad lungs. Anyway, he had

1018
01:22:55.720 --> 01:23:01.520
I don't know asthma, and I see per COPD whatever.

1019
01:23:02.239 --> 01:23:05.039
So he said, can you ask him to put it

1020
01:23:05.079 --> 01:23:10.000
out because I just can't struggling to breathe with that

1021
01:23:10.079 --> 01:23:12.239
thing on there, and I want to watch the boxing.

1022
01:23:12.479 --> 01:23:14.159
We had the windows open and everything, but it was

1023
01:23:14.199 --> 01:23:18.199
just too much. So I said, all right, I'll ask him.

1024
01:23:18.399 --> 01:23:21.319
So he comes out of the toilet and he sits

1025
01:23:21.359 --> 01:23:24.159
down and says, I don't mean to be rude or anything,

1026
01:23:24.159 --> 01:23:27.359
but are you okay to maybe smoke down in the

1027
01:23:27.479 --> 01:23:30.159
kitchen or put it out or maybe go in the

1028
01:23:30.159 --> 01:23:33.760
garden because it's a bit too pungent, too a bit

1029
01:23:33.800 --> 01:23:39.239
too smoky. So he was fine with me. He said, that's

1030
01:23:39.279 --> 01:23:43.600
that's okay, that's fine, Luke. Luke pipes up. He says,

1031
01:23:44.399 --> 01:23:46.399
I really, I'm fine with it. It's okay with me.

1032
01:23:46.439 --> 01:23:51.880
It's not bothering me. And he looks at me and smiles.

1033
01:23:54.079 --> 01:23:57.279
It's almost like he did it purposely, just to make

1034
01:23:57.479 --> 01:24:03.640
me look silly. I didn't, I didn't say anything. I

1035
01:24:03.720 --> 01:24:09.439
was like, just shook my head. I can't believe. And

1036
01:24:09.479 --> 01:24:11.319
then we watched the box and he kept looking over

1037
01:24:11.399 --> 01:24:14.079
and smiling at me because he was so pleased with himself.

1038
01:24:15.359 --> 01:24:20.800
And when the other neighbor left. The other neighbor left,

1039
01:24:20.880 --> 01:24:23.600
Luke started laughing because he was holding the laughter in

1040
01:24:23.800 --> 01:24:27.560
right away. He's like giggling to herself and they started

1041
01:24:27.640 --> 01:24:31.560
laughing as soon as my other neighbor left because he

1042
01:24:31.760 --> 01:24:33.720
could have a boxing finished or he had to go

1043
01:24:33.760 --> 01:24:40.199
and do something. And I've told that neighbor since because

1044
01:24:40.319 --> 01:24:43.920
since Luke passed, or when he'd left, I told the

1045
01:24:43.960 --> 01:24:47.079
other that neighbor about the story. He found it funny

1046
01:24:47.720 --> 01:24:52.640
because it's just it's how how Luke was. He's just

1047
01:24:52.720 --> 01:24:57.960
had that his sense of humor was. It was just

1048
01:24:58.119 --> 01:25:01.039
it was a funny moment. That's one of my one

1049
01:25:01.039 --> 01:25:05.279
of my fond memories. Actually, another one was when the

1050
01:25:05.319 --> 01:25:09.960
same neighbor actually he spent the summer living in Luke's

1051
01:25:10.000 --> 01:25:13.600
flat because he had some problems. He had his own flat,

1052
01:25:13.640 --> 01:25:17.039
but he he Luke was kind of looking after him really,

1053
01:25:17.640 --> 01:25:21.000
sort of emotionally, and they're spending time with him, and

1054
01:25:24.239 --> 01:25:31.439
another neighbor opposite in the building opposite was mowing the

1055
01:25:31.560 --> 01:25:35.479
lawn and apparently this is what happened. Luke puts his

1056
01:25:35.600 --> 01:25:39.479
head out out of the window says, excusing, mate, I

1057
01:25:39.479 --> 01:25:42.119
suppose you could just hold off doing that for a

1058
01:25:42.159 --> 01:25:45.079
little while, because I've only just got into sleep. So

1059
01:25:45.079 --> 01:25:47.399
the neighbor came over, thinking it was a baby. He

1060
01:25:47.439 --> 01:25:50.199
looked through the window and there's a fully grown man

1061
01:25:50.239 --> 01:25:56.039
on the sofa asleep. And they both started laughing. The

1062
01:25:56.039 --> 01:26:03.640
neighbors started laughing. And it's when I was down there

1063
01:26:03.680 --> 01:26:07.199
when this happened, and when when Luke told me. Honestly,

1064
01:26:07.239 --> 01:26:08.960
it was one of the funniest things I heard for

1065
01:26:09.000 --> 01:26:12.960
a long time, because it was so ridiculous, like, oh,

1066
01:26:12.960 --> 01:26:14.560
can you keep it quiet. I've just got him off

1067
01:26:14.560 --> 01:26:17.119
to sleep, Like you don't think that's going to be

1068
01:26:17.119 --> 01:26:21.680
a grown man, a grown adult asleep on the sofa

1069
01:26:22.119 --> 01:26:25.239
when you say that, And I've just got him off

1070
01:26:25.279 --> 01:26:29.399
to sleep, like it'd be like cradling him and singing

1071
01:26:29.600 --> 01:26:37.079
sort of bedtime stories to him or something, lullabies. I'll

1072
01:26:37.079 --> 01:26:38.960
tell one maybe that as well. He found it funny.

1073
01:26:39.520 --> 01:26:43.640
So it is this. It's weird because those two stories

1074
01:26:44.359 --> 01:26:48.279
were kind of a connection with that other neighbor. There's

1075
01:26:48.319 --> 01:26:51.800
always going to be there, however strange that might be.

1076
01:26:53.279 --> 01:26:59.159
It's there's that connection because we were both friends with Luke,

1077
01:27:00.479 --> 01:27:06.000
and yeah, Luke was kind of just looking out for

1078
01:27:06.159 --> 01:27:16.119
him for that summer. Yeah, wow, I don't know what

1079
01:27:16.239 --> 01:27:25.960
I'm talking about him. Mister Lukey, baby, I got a

1080
01:27:28.640 --> 01:27:34.560
thing in the winter, like before Christmas, and it was

1081
01:27:34.600 --> 01:27:38.359
going to be dangling on the tree outside because Luke

1082
01:27:38.479 --> 01:27:42.000
planted the Christmas tree that's in the front garden. It's

1083
01:27:42.039 --> 01:27:44.159
now as big as the building. But it was a

1084
01:27:44.159 --> 01:27:48.000
little sapling when he planted it, and it's grown to

1085
01:27:48.079 --> 01:27:57.000
be massive, so he is as funny as it grew.

1086
01:27:57.880 --> 01:28:04.159
Once he got above the length of the surrounding bushes

1087
01:28:04.600 --> 01:28:10.920
that are trimmed, the council kept coming out and starting

1088
01:28:11.000 --> 01:28:13.800
to trim the tree. So every time the trimmers were out,

1089
01:28:14.079 --> 01:28:15.960
Luke could rune out and say, don't touch the tree.

1090
01:28:16.960 --> 01:28:20.359
Don't touch the tree. And he did that for years,

1091
01:28:20.520 --> 01:28:22.720
don't touch the tree. And then the tree got too

1092
01:28:22.720 --> 01:28:24.760
big and everyone left the tree alone and they kind

1093
01:28:24.760 --> 01:28:28.079
of got to know. And now it is nearly as

1094
01:28:28.119 --> 01:28:31.119
tall as the building. So I kind of look at

1095
01:28:31.119 --> 01:28:33.560
that tree and I think of him because I know

1096
01:28:33.640 --> 01:28:37.399
that he planted it, and I was. I mean, he

1097
01:28:37.439 --> 01:28:40.800
planted it before I was even here, because he'd lived

1098
01:28:40.840 --> 01:28:44.520
there a couple of years before me, maybe three years

1099
01:28:44.520 --> 01:28:51.479
before me, so he'd already planted that. Yeah, he must

1100
01:28:51.479 --> 01:29:01.840
have been because he'd lived there for twelve years. Wow, so yeah,

1101
01:29:01.920 --> 01:29:05.119
maybe more than maybe more than two years before me.

1102
01:29:08.520 --> 01:29:10.239
I think he might have lived here for four or

1103
01:29:10.239 --> 01:29:18.600
five years before I got here. Yeah, maybe it's I

1104
01:29:18.640 --> 01:29:21.600
can't I could find out, but I don't know exactly.

1105
01:29:23.079 --> 01:29:27.079
It's not really important. As I suppose my neighbor that's

1106
01:29:27.079 --> 01:29:30.319
in hospital, he's been here since about nineteen ninety nine,

1107
01:29:32.199 --> 01:29:34.319
which if I do remember, it's about the same time

1108
01:29:34.359 --> 01:29:46.399
as a soprano starting roughly roughly, that's a long time.

1109
01:29:47.680 --> 01:29:50.000
It's a lot. It doesn't seem like a long time,

1110
01:29:50.039 --> 01:29:53.560
but it does as well. At the same time, how

1111
01:29:53.560 --> 01:29:57.520
many times can I say in the sentence times, time, time, time,

1112
01:30:00.399 --> 01:30:11.520
A lot's happened. But then what is it now? Twenty nine,

1113
01:30:11.680 --> 01:30:18.239
thirty nine, forty nine fifty nine, So it's twenty twenty

1114
01:30:18.319 --> 01:30:26.279
six years. Because that period was potentially the highlight of

1115
01:30:26.319 --> 01:30:30.000
my life, of my adult life kind of. It was

1116
01:30:31.079 --> 01:30:35.079
one of the best periods of my life between the

1117
01:30:35.119 --> 01:30:43.960
ages of I'd say probably January nineteen ninety eight and

1118
01:30:48.560 --> 01:30:53.439
two thousand and one. Once it got to two thousand

1119
01:30:53.479 --> 01:30:58.479
and one, things when a little bit eerie, not eerie,

1120
01:30:58.640 --> 01:31:09.079
bit bit not so great, but eighty eight, eighty nine,

1121
01:31:09.920 --> 01:31:19.159
ninety nine, two thousand, eighty ninety seven, ninety eight, ninety nine,

1122
01:31:19.239 --> 01:31:21.960
two thousand, two thousand and one. So yeah, I had

1123
01:31:22.159 --> 01:31:28.239
three three years which things were going fairly well in

1124
01:31:28.319 --> 01:31:37.640
some ways, and because I just started my interest in

1125
01:31:37.840 --> 01:31:43.199
hypnosis NLP, and then in two thousand I became super

1126
01:31:43.319 --> 01:31:51.199
interested in the Internet and building websites. So during two thousand,

1127
01:31:53.800 --> 01:31:59.159
the whole year I devoted to building websites, to learning

1128
01:31:59.199 --> 01:32:01.600
how to build up sites, and it was the most

1129
01:32:01.640 --> 01:32:04.800
exciting thing I'd ever done in my life. For some reason,

1130
01:32:05.319 --> 01:32:12.359
I became obsessed with it, absolutely obsessed, and I missed

1131
01:32:12.359 --> 01:32:18.600
that feeling. And I kind of realize now that I

1132
01:32:18.800 --> 01:32:24.399
was probably for some of that period going through a

1133
01:32:24.600 --> 01:32:33.319
very big manic stage. But I didn't know. All I

1134
01:32:33.359 --> 01:32:39.640
knew I was enjoying myself and i'd be awake. I

1135
01:32:39.720 --> 01:32:42.600
was getting like four hours sleep at night if that,

1136
01:32:43.640 --> 01:32:47.199
I didn't need to eat really, just like I'd forget

1137
01:32:47.239 --> 01:32:49.920
to eat because I was so busy focusing on the

1138
01:32:49.920 --> 01:32:52.720
web pages and how to build them. Had all these

1139
01:32:52.840 --> 01:32:57.560
big pile of books, HTML code, how to. Yeah, I

1140
01:32:57.600 --> 01:33:02.039
just loved it, loved everything about it. It's like a

1141
01:33:03.479 --> 01:33:08.640
code I was trying to crack. I had had the books,

1142
01:33:08.680 --> 01:33:10.359
but I was trying to crack it on my own,

1143
01:33:10.880 --> 01:33:14.800
trying to figure it out on my own, and I

1144
01:33:14.840 --> 01:33:17.800
once spent there's a thing, you know, with on the

1145
01:33:17.840 --> 01:33:21.920
internet or you know on the phone, you press a link,

1146
01:33:22.520 --> 01:33:25.119
click a link, and it takes you somewhere else. Another

1147
01:33:25.199 --> 01:33:29.199
website opens up, another page on the website takes you

1148
01:33:29.279 --> 01:33:38.880
to an app whatever. They're called hyperlinks. So I wanted

1149
01:33:38.880 --> 01:33:44.199
to figure out how to build a hyperlink on a website,

1150
01:33:44.640 --> 01:33:48.000
a web page, rather to take it to other pages.

1151
01:33:48.159 --> 01:33:49.520
You could also do it so it took you to

1152
01:33:49.520 --> 01:33:51.800
another part of the page as well, but I wanted

1153
01:33:51.840 --> 01:33:55.920
just to figure out how to do it. Now. It's

1154
01:33:56.039 --> 01:34:00.159
very easy to do if you just look into a book,

1155
01:34:01.920 --> 01:34:06.279
but I refused to do that. I wanted to work

1156
01:34:06.319 --> 01:34:14.840
out how to build a hyperlink by dissecting a page.

1157
01:34:15.319 --> 01:34:19.920
And I spent days doing this, just dissecting a page,

1158
01:34:20.439 --> 01:34:24.119
taking a little bit of code off, and then seeing

1159
01:34:24.119 --> 01:34:27.039
if that page works with the link, and if it

1160
01:34:27.079 --> 01:34:29.039
didn't work, I put it back to what it was

1161
01:34:29.079 --> 01:34:33.880
before and taken a bit more off. So I stripped

1162
01:34:33.960 --> 01:34:38.840
down the page as bare as possible to the point,

1163
01:34:39.039 --> 01:34:41.479
and this was a big page from the Internet. It's

1164
01:34:41.479 --> 01:34:46.720
like an Internet page that I had copied. I stripped

1165
01:34:46.760 --> 01:34:50.920
it down to the bare minimum, to the point where

1166
01:34:52.159 --> 01:34:55.399
it pretty much was just the code for the link.

1167
01:34:55.760 --> 01:34:58.840
There was a little bit I suppose body whatever, just

1168
01:34:59.279 --> 01:35:02.800
so it had so it worked. But I broke it

1169
01:35:02.840 --> 01:35:07.760
down to its bare, bare minimum. And it took me

1170
01:35:07.960 --> 01:35:11.880
probably three three days, maybe four days even doing that,

1171
01:35:14.039 --> 01:35:20.439
eighteen hours a day, solidly focused on that one page,

1172
01:35:20.600 --> 01:35:24.199
and I loved every second of it. It was probably

1173
01:35:24.199 --> 01:35:27.600
a bit of frustration as well, because it didn't work

1174
01:35:27.640 --> 01:35:34.720
most of the time until it did, But it was

1175
01:35:35.039 --> 01:35:41.680
so satisfying when I figured out how to do it. Yeah,

1176
01:35:41.720 --> 01:35:43.560
I could have just looked in a book. I mean

1177
01:35:43.600 --> 01:35:47.640
I had probably five six books. Any of those books

1178
01:35:47.640 --> 01:35:55.640
would have told me how to build it, And it

1179
01:35:55.680 --> 01:36:01.800
was just I was determined to figure it out myself

1180
01:36:01.880 --> 01:36:06.000
by I guess reverse engineering it would be called now,

1181
01:36:10.039 --> 01:36:19.359
by unbuilding the page, starting from yeah, starting working my

1182
01:36:19.439 --> 01:36:22.880
way back to the beginning of the page being built.

1183
01:36:22.960 --> 01:36:28.119
You know, I did a similar thing for how to

1184
01:36:28.199 --> 01:36:32.840
make something, how to make text a different color, how

1185
01:36:32.880 --> 01:36:35.640
to make it a different size, how to make it bold,

1186
01:36:36.319 --> 01:36:42.920
how to yeah, all different things. It took Yeah, so

1187
01:36:43.000 --> 01:36:47.039
I devoted a whole year to that. I loved it,

1188
01:36:47.159 --> 01:36:52.279
I really did. I remember I've told this story before,

1189
01:36:52.359 --> 01:37:01.119
but not for ages. When I started Churchill Insurance, we

1190
01:37:01.279 --> 01:37:08.279
had information on a They called it the intranet, so

1191
01:37:08.479 --> 01:37:12.199
basically you could put stuff, you could read stuff off

1192
01:37:12.199 --> 01:37:15.880
the server. So it wasn't the Internet. You couldn't access

1193
01:37:15.920 --> 01:37:22.039
the Internet, but you can access bits of information. Now.

1194
01:37:22.079 --> 01:37:25.880
I decided that it's okay to have all that information,

1195
01:37:25.960 --> 01:37:32.760
but it's very much scattered and it would be easy

1196
01:37:32.800 --> 01:37:35.840
if it was all in one place. So I built

1197
01:37:35.840 --> 01:37:44.680
a website in between calls, and I linked all the

1198
01:37:44.720 --> 01:37:47.199
stuff that was on the computer system on the Internet,

1199
01:37:47.760 --> 01:37:53.439
so script to read out information about no claims, bonus,

1200
01:37:53.960 --> 01:38:01.119
information about each company, answers to common questions. A converter

1201
01:38:02.640 --> 01:38:09.199
A converter like a calculator, but it was specifically for

1202
01:38:09.359 --> 01:38:14.199
converting sales, to see what conversion you are and stuff.

1203
01:38:15.720 --> 01:38:18.399
But someone else built that. I added that to it

1204
01:38:24.319 --> 01:38:26.760
and I started using it myself. I didn't and then

1205
01:38:26.840 --> 01:38:29.760
someone on my team said, oh, can you can you

1206
01:38:29.840 --> 01:38:34.039
email that to me? So I did, and eventually quite

1207
01:38:34.079 --> 01:38:37.359
a few people around the saleslaw was using it because

1208
01:38:37.359 --> 01:38:40.119
it's useful because everything's in one place. You's clicked on it,

1209
01:38:40.840 --> 01:38:43.159
and it just gave you a list of things you

1210
01:38:43.199 --> 01:38:45.880
get click on and it's it's very simple, but it

1211
01:38:45.920 --> 01:38:52.199
was useful. It was weird because on one day I'm

1212
01:38:52.199 --> 01:38:58.560
on a phone call and my manager on myself, my

1213
01:38:58.720 --> 01:39:01.439
team leader, said when you finish that call, can you

1214
01:39:01.479 --> 01:39:04.920
come off? Can you can you log out? It said okay?

1215
01:39:04.960 --> 01:39:06.239
And I was coming to the end of the car

1216
01:39:07.079 --> 01:39:11.640
and a lockdown and there was two blokes standing there

1217
01:39:11.880 --> 01:39:14.800
with him, and he said, can you come with us?

1218
01:39:16.880 --> 01:39:20.720
And I thought, oh, this is not looking good. I

1219
01:39:21.039 --> 01:39:23.520
really did not know what's going on. I thought I'd

1220
01:39:23.560 --> 01:39:29.000
messed up big time, you know, sold sold Lori insurance

1221
01:39:29.079 --> 01:39:32.439
or Haulig insurance of someone with a mini. You know,

1222
01:39:32.479 --> 01:39:37.760
I just made a mistake like that that has happened.

1223
01:39:37.760 --> 01:39:41.760
But yeah, but it wasn't. It wasn't anything like that.

1224
01:39:41.880 --> 01:39:46.079
So they took me up into the IT department and

1225
01:39:46.119 --> 01:39:48.159
there was another person in there and they all sat

1226
01:39:48.239 --> 01:39:51.199
me down and they said, did you is it is

1227
01:39:51.199 --> 01:39:54.079
it true that you built that website on the internet?

1228
01:39:55.039 --> 01:40:01.960
I said, yeah, how did you do it? See? They

1229
01:40:02.039 --> 01:40:09.520
thought I'd somehow infiltrated the intranet and brought in software

1230
01:40:10.079 --> 01:40:14.760
and maybe put some kind of virus onto the system

1231
01:40:15.000 --> 01:40:18.039
by using discs and stuff like that, which I hadn't

1232
01:40:18.560 --> 01:40:22.359
there's no access to do that. And I said, have

1233
01:40:22.439 --> 01:40:26.199
you done it? Then? I said, I said, well, if

1234
01:40:26.239 --> 01:40:28.319
you brought a disk in, if you've managed to, how

1235
01:40:28.359 --> 01:40:31.920
have you got it onto the Internet? I said, I

1236
01:40:31.960 --> 01:40:35.760
built it. It's what do you mean you built it?

1237
01:40:35.840 --> 01:40:39.279
You built the website out? I said, what do you

1238
01:40:39.279 --> 01:40:41.560
mean how? I just built it just I know how

1239
01:40:41.560 --> 01:40:47.600
to build websites. It's very basic, you know, it's nothing

1240
01:40:47.640 --> 01:40:51.880
special here. Probably couldn't do it now, but I could

1241
01:40:51.920 --> 01:40:55.079
then because I'd spent a year and a half doing it,

1242
01:40:55.119 --> 01:40:57.920
because I spent you know, half of two thousand and

1243
01:40:57.960 --> 01:41:02.000
one also doing it. And he said, And they said

1244
01:41:02.760 --> 01:41:06.720
they couldn't understand. How did I build a website in

1245
01:41:06.800 --> 01:41:11.159
between phone calls without bringing in discs and code and

1246
01:41:11.520 --> 01:41:16.840
without infiltrating the their servers. I said, no, I just

1247
01:41:16.880 --> 01:41:20.000
built a website on the server from my computer, and

1248
01:41:20.039 --> 01:41:24.039
then people wanted it, so I shared it. It was

1249
01:41:24.119 --> 01:41:29.359
just on It wasn't on the Internet, but it had

1250
01:41:29.359 --> 01:41:32.439
a link to the internet. So the website was just

1251
01:41:32.439 --> 01:41:41.239
a website page. It was on my desktop. I shared

1252
01:41:41.279 --> 01:41:45.479
it out all the hyperlinks to the pages on the internet.

1253
01:41:46.279 --> 01:41:48.960
That's all it was. So it's just one page. Opened

1254
01:41:48.960 --> 01:41:51.439
it up and it was a website with the links

1255
01:41:51.479 --> 01:41:53.560
to all the other stuff. So all the other stuff

1256
01:41:53.720 --> 01:41:57.119
was already on there. And they're like, how did you

1257
01:41:57.159 --> 01:42:00.359
do that? I said, I just did it, know how

1258
01:42:00.399 --> 01:42:02.840
to do it, and they couldn't believe. They didn't believe

1259
01:42:02.880 --> 01:42:07.399
me that I'd done off of my own head. I

1260
01:42:07.439 --> 01:42:12.039
said yeah, And they were annoyed because they said that

1261
01:42:12.039 --> 01:42:15.920
they'd spent the last year trying to put together some

1262
01:42:16.039 --> 01:42:20.920
kind of website service which would do exactly what I'd done.

1263
01:42:22.319 --> 01:42:26.000
This would have been more complicated and more precise and

1264
01:42:26.159 --> 01:42:31.239
much better version. But they were re peeved because this

1265
01:42:31.359 --> 01:42:34.039
bloke said that he was taken on. He'd been there

1266
01:42:34.079 --> 01:42:37.000
for nearly a year and they'd been planning to do this.

1267
01:42:37.920 --> 01:42:43.000
He was the IT boss or part of the IT team,

1268
01:42:43.560 --> 01:42:45.279
and now it's one of his jobs is to put

1269
01:42:45.319 --> 01:42:52.479
together at the website on the internet for all of

1270
01:42:51.079 --> 01:42:54.880
the workers in this because there was like hundreds of

1271
01:42:54.920 --> 01:43:00.359
people working there, and then they could update a new

1272
01:43:00.399 --> 01:43:02.800
script to read out, or there was a new raw,

1273
01:43:03.079 --> 01:43:07.119
there's new, you know, always changing stuff, so it'd be

1274
01:43:07.199 --> 01:43:11.960
quite handy to have that information, just stuff like the

1275
01:43:12.479 --> 01:43:21.399
the new people, the the phonetic alphabet. It's handy to

1276
01:43:21.439 --> 01:43:24.119
have that because I was learning that. I didn't know

1277
01:43:24.159 --> 01:43:29.479
the phonetic phonetic alphabet properly until I moved into until

1278
01:43:29.520 --> 01:43:34.119
I started working in that job. So someone knew they

1279
01:43:34.119 --> 01:43:36.239
could just have it on the screen, just click a

1280
01:43:36.319 --> 01:43:38.640
quick click and it's there, and they can just read it,

1281
01:43:38.800 --> 01:43:42.399
read it out, just get to know it, and have

1282
01:43:42.479 --> 01:43:45.039
it on a little have it on a little page

1283
01:43:45.159 --> 01:43:48.640
below what they're doing. So it's just always there. So

1284
01:43:48.680 --> 01:43:51.600
it's just simple things like that. And he said, well,

1285
01:43:51.600 --> 01:43:55.920
we're going to have to take it off because it's

1286
01:43:56.199 --> 01:43:57.920
I can't have it on the internet. I said, it's

1287
01:43:57.920 --> 01:44:01.680
not on the internet. It said, what you mean. I said,

1288
01:44:01.720 --> 01:44:07.319
it's just on people's desktops, individual desktops. You can just

1289
01:44:07.439 --> 01:44:11.640
ask people to take it off their desktops. It links

1290
01:44:11.680 --> 01:44:15.920
to the Internet, but it's not on the internet. So

1291
01:44:16.039 --> 01:44:19.000
they basically they had no control over it. And I

1292
01:44:19.039 --> 01:44:22.159
think that's what annoyed them because this thing was not

1293
01:44:22.199 --> 01:44:25.079
on their own internet, which is what an internet is

1294
01:44:25.199 --> 01:44:29.239
is basically, it's a it's the company Internet, which they

1295
01:44:29.239 --> 01:44:33.000
have complete control over. But if you have a link

1296
01:44:34.000 --> 01:44:38.039
to that Internet and your part that you're in that system,

1297
01:44:38.680 --> 01:44:42.279
then it just logs into it. I don't think they

1298
01:44:42.359 --> 01:44:44.880
knew that was possible. Maybe they didn't realize you could

1299
01:44:44.880 --> 01:44:49.479
do that, so I didn't know. It wasn't supposed to

1300
01:44:49.479 --> 01:44:51.840
be done. I didn't know that it shouldn't be able

1301
01:44:51.880 --> 01:44:54.640
to be done because it's the Internet's supposed to be

1302
01:44:54.760 --> 01:44:58.920
very private and secure, which makes you wonder maybe that

1303
01:44:59.119 --> 01:45:01.479
link on the normal into the Internet might have taken

1304
01:45:01.479 --> 01:45:04.039
there as well. I don't know. I doubt it, though,

1305
01:45:06.319 --> 01:45:09.239
So they told me you can't use it, can't use

1306
01:45:09.279 --> 01:45:11.079
it anymore because we're going to They were going to

1307
01:45:11.079 --> 01:45:13.720
build their own and they're in the middle of doing it.

1308
01:45:14.119 --> 01:45:17.560
And I had a little hope then a little hope

1309
01:45:17.560 --> 01:45:22.039
in my chest at a little bit of a little

1310
01:45:22.039 --> 01:45:25.439
bit of maybe they're going to ask me to help

1311
01:45:25.479 --> 01:45:32.279
build it. But they didn't. They didn't at all, And

1312
01:45:32.279 --> 01:45:35.520
I was like, oh, okay, because I could have built

1313
01:45:35.560 --> 01:45:39.640
it so easily. I already had, but I could have

1314
01:45:39.680 --> 01:45:42.600
made it much better and maybe looked into, you know,

1315
01:45:42.720 --> 01:45:44.560
with the right software and stuff. I could have made

1316
01:45:44.560 --> 01:45:47.720
it quite nice. It's not that I was I didn't

1317
01:45:47.760 --> 01:45:52.600
have any qualifications or experience. I just had a year

1318
01:45:52.640 --> 01:45:58.439
and a half of phaneticism for building websites. That was

1319
01:45:58.520 --> 01:46:05.119
my obsession. I was obsessed with it. That's all I

1320
01:46:05.159 --> 01:46:09.680
did with my time. Loved it, loved every second of it.

1321
01:46:09.680 --> 01:46:17.000
It's weird. I just absolutely loved it. And they never

1322
01:46:17.000 --> 01:46:23.920
built the Internet the Internet website while I was there anyway,

1323
01:46:24.800 --> 01:46:27.600
but they did tell people to take it off. I

1324
01:46:27.640 --> 01:46:30.560
didn't take it off mine, and other people didn't take

1325
01:46:30.560 --> 01:46:33.119
it off theirs either, so people were still using it.

1326
01:46:35.399 --> 01:46:38.279
So they just, you know, they were still putting stuff

1327
01:46:38.279 --> 01:46:40.680
on the internet like individual where they didn't put it

1328
01:46:40.760 --> 01:46:42.640
in a way that you could just find it easily

1329
01:46:42.680 --> 01:46:48.319
and quickly. So I just continued using mine and updating

1330
01:46:48.319 --> 01:46:52.479
it as I needed it. And a year later they

1331
01:46:52.520 --> 01:46:56.520
still hadn't I think the bloke left, they still hadn't

1332
01:46:56.920 --> 01:47:00.479
put it together. I'm sure they have now twenty odd

1333
01:47:00.520 --> 01:47:04.760
years later, but it was it was like a little

1334
01:47:07.399 --> 01:47:10.840
quite a nice little moment for me, really, although to

1335
01:47:10.880 --> 01:47:13.000
start with, I was a little bit concerned. I've been

1336
01:47:13.039 --> 01:47:19.079
taken in the room with four men, thinking all what

1337
01:47:19.119 --> 01:47:22.920
I've had done. But yeah, it was it was quite cool.

1338
01:47:23.000 --> 01:47:26.359
They just couldn't believe it, like how could you do

1339
01:47:26.399 --> 01:47:29.720
that on your own? The thing is it was quite

1340
01:47:29.760 --> 01:47:36.680
basic code HTML. It's once you see it even now,

1341
01:47:36.760 --> 01:47:41.800
Actually even now I can because I use code for

1342
01:47:41.880 --> 01:47:44.279
my website. It's code is already there, but I add

1343
01:47:44.319 --> 01:47:48.840
my own code and I can get chet GPT to

1344
01:47:48.920 --> 01:47:51.319
make the code. But I can change the code. I

1345
01:47:51.359 --> 01:47:56.039
still know now it's very basic. Just by changing the

1346
01:47:56.159 --> 01:47:59.960
size of things, the color of things. I can change

1347
01:48:00.239 --> 01:48:04.199
the links, so I can play around with the code.

1348
01:48:04.239 --> 01:48:09.800
Even now, even after all those years, is quite it's

1349
01:48:09.880 --> 01:48:13.760
quite handy. I can read through the code and kind

1350
01:48:13.760 --> 01:48:20.439
of find some stuff, you know, even after all those years.

1351
01:48:21.399 --> 01:48:25.720
So a year and a half of obsession, some of

1352
01:48:25.760 --> 01:48:32.640
it did stick. But then again in two thousand and four,

1353
01:48:32.720 --> 01:48:35.960
I was building my own websites as well, So I

1354
01:48:36.000 --> 01:48:45.399
took a break from building websites for two years, so

1355
01:48:45.520 --> 01:48:48.800
two thousand and two, two thousand three, no, about a

1356
01:48:48.840 --> 01:48:51.600
year and a half, two years, and then I started again.

1357
01:48:52.359 --> 01:48:56.000
So in September two thousand and one or no, this

1358
01:48:56.119 --> 01:48:59.319
is summer two thousand and one, I was no longer

1359
01:48:59.359 --> 01:49:03.399
building website. It's because I was evicted and then I

1360
01:49:03.520 --> 01:49:08.159
moved to a new place and I lived there two

1361
01:49:08.199 --> 01:49:17.399
thousand and one, two thousand and two, and probably yeah,

1362
01:49:17.439 --> 01:49:21.399
two thousand and three, I've got a computer and I

1363
01:49:21.439 --> 01:49:25.319
started building websites again. And then two thousand and four

1364
01:49:26.159 --> 01:49:30.520
I built a website which was helped with pain. And

1365
01:49:30.560 --> 01:49:36.439
then two thousand and six I built my website free

1366
01:49:36.439 --> 01:49:39.560
Pain Relief dot code at UK. So I built that

1367
01:49:39.600 --> 01:49:51.479
with code, and then eventually I started using website builders

1368
01:49:51.479 --> 01:49:53.880
because it was just easier. It was a lot quicker,

1369
01:49:55.199 --> 01:49:58.319
so I stopped using code. I stopped building them from code,

1370
01:49:58.960 --> 01:50:03.479
which was probably in some ways a mistake because that

1371
01:50:03.720 --> 01:50:09.359
was a skill that I could have built upon. And

1372
01:50:10.960 --> 01:50:14.039
I'm not saying I was skillful, but it was definitely

1373
01:50:14.119 --> 01:50:19.920
some knowledge I had which everyone's doing something that I

1374
01:50:20.039 --> 01:50:23.359
really enjoyed doing as well. So there's a lot of

1375
01:50:23.359 --> 01:50:25.800
shouting in the garden, So I'm going to go, so

1376
01:50:26.720 --> 01:50:29.199
thank you for listening. Remember to be kind to yourself,

1377
01:50:29.239 --> 01:50:33.239
because you do deserve to be happy. Be gentle with yourself.

1378
01:50:33.960 --> 01:50:39.359
Do you deserve to feel safe? Lots of love? Bye?

1379
01:50:55.079 --> 01:51:09.640
Relax in a more deep and meaningful way, maybe in

1380
01:51:09.680 --> 01:51:15.239
a way that can not just allow you to feel

1381
01:51:16.600 --> 01:51:25.840
calmer now and throughout the time we spend together here,

1382
01:51:27.880 --> 01:51:33.560
not just relaxed at the end of the recording when

1383
01:51:33.560 --> 01:51:40.239
it's finished and you can enjoy that sense of comfort

1384
01:51:40.399 --> 01:51:55.319
and peace, but also I think it would be nice

1385
01:51:55.439 --> 01:52:15.239
to have those fears of relaxation continue for longer after

1386
01:52:15.319 --> 01:52:25.880
the recording has ended, so that you can still benefit

1387
01:52:28.760 --> 01:52:36.039
from listening to my voice, maybe in a few hours time,

1388
01:52:37.960 --> 01:52:51.439
perhaps tomorrow, and then by listening regularly, especially if you

1389
01:52:51.600 --> 01:52:56.279
find like some people do and myself as well. I

1390
01:52:56.399 --> 01:53:03.159
sometimes I find one particular recording that really resonates with me,

1391
01:53:07.520 --> 01:53:10.000
and I just listened to it over and over again

1392
01:53:12.159 --> 01:53:25.199
every morning, every evening. There was this recording from We're

1393
01:53:25.199 --> 01:53:29.920
going back to about nineteen ninety nine. It was it

1394
01:53:29.960 --> 01:53:34.960
wasn't hypnosis, but it was a guided visualizations. It kind

1395
01:53:34.960 --> 01:53:42.079
of was hypnosis, really, and I managed to find it

1396
01:53:42.159 --> 01:53:46.039
again and it still has the same effect on me.

1397
01:53:48.680 --> 01:53:58.399
And part of it was the person's voice relaxed me.

1398
01:54:02.239 --> 01:54:08.439
She just felt so peaceful, and I'd look forward to

1399
01:54:08.600 --> 01:54:15.039
listening to her in the morning and in the evening.

1400
01:54:21.399 --> 01:54:30.439
And I knew before even pressing the play button that

1401
01:54:30.800 --> 01:54:35.159
since I've done that, pressed the play button. This was

1402
01:54:35.560 --> 01:54:46.520
in the days of CD players pressed the play button.

1403
01:54:49.920 --> 01:54:53.039
In fact, it might have even been a tape tape recorder.

1404
01:54:54.079 --> 01:55:02.439
I'd lie down on the bed and then even without

1405
01:55:03.000 --> 01:55:15.960
necessarily listening to her words because I had them memorized. Really,

1406
01:55:20.640 --> 01:55:26.640
it was as if my body knew exactly what to do,

1407
01:55:31.399 --> 01:55:53.199
and the muscles just almost went into automatic relaxation, and

1408
01:55:53.359 --> 01:56:07.359
I remember my mind would slow down. Now. Now, I

1409
01:56:07.399 --> 01:56:13.640
was listening to this recording in the early days of

1410
01:56:13.760 --> 01:56:24.439
learning hypnosis, and long before I ever made any videos

1411
01:56:24.560 --> 01:56:29.279
or audio recordings myself, because I didn't start doing that

1412
01:56:29.439 --> 01:56:43.880
till two thousand and six, I knew. I knew how

1413
01:56:45.640 --> 01:56:59.399
helpful I found being able to just let go, to

1414
01:56:59.520 --> 01:57:04.720
have that trust in the person that I'm listening to,

1415
01:57:12.399 --> 01:57:20.479
knowing that it's going to be just as relaxing, if

1416
01:57:20.560 --> 01:57:29.960
not more so. Each time you hear my voice, you

1417
01:57:30.000 --> 01:57:41.640
may feel the same. Some people have been listening to

1418
01:57:41.720 --> 01:57:55.640
me for over a decade, maybe not solidly, obviously, not

1419
01:57:55.680 --> 01:58:03.960
twenty four hours a day. Maybe people come back, some

1420
01:58:04.000 --> 01:58:19.199
people maybe listen every day. That's something that I do

1421
01:58:20.800 --> 01:58:35.319
which you may not realize by listening, is when I

1422
01:58:35.560 --> 01:58:51.760
record these recordings now. For example, I also am affected

1423
01:58:52.239 --> 01:59:05.039
by the words that I say. So if I set

1424
01:59:05.239 --> 01:59:15.720
you focus on your feet, notice your feet relaxing, I

1425
01:59:15.760 --> 01:59:24.239
will be focusing on my feet. I will be noticing

1426
01:59:27.199 --> 01:59:41.720
my feet relaxing. If I said focus on your hands,

1427
01:59:44.520 --> 01:59:54.039
and maybe notice the difference between each hand, perhaps notice

1428
01:59:54.159 --> 02:00:02.199
the air in the room, the temperature of the on

1429
02:00:02.279 --> 02:00:13.520
the backs of your hands. You may start to notice

1430
02:00:14.199 --> 02:00:21.439
what almost feels like a very light breeze, even though

1431
02:00:21.479 --> 02:00:25.720
there may not be any type of breeze at all

1432
02:00:27.359 --> 02:00:39.600
where you are right now. And as you become aware

1433
02:00:39.800 --> 02:00:53.840
of your hands, I'm also aware of how relaxed my

1434
02:00:54.159 --> 02:01:19.920
hands are feeling now. And when it comes to potentially

1435
02:01:20.319 --> 02:01:26.159
drifting off to sleep, which may be the reason you're listening,

1436
02:01:31.840 --> 02:01:46.479
I also feel drowsy when I make these recordings. I

1437
02:01:46.640 --> 02:02:05.039
also notice my mind drifting. In fact, at times I've

1438
02:02:05.079 --> 02:02:19.520
actually fallen asleep without even noticing, and then I carry

1439
02:02:19.560 --> 02:02:31.119
on talking. And it's only when I listen back to

1440
02:02:31.159 --> 02:02:40.199
do the editing I hear snoring and I think I

1441
02:02:40.199 --> 02:02:50.880
don't remember snoring. I remember talking. It's snoring. Was a

1442
02:02:51.039 --> 02:02:57.760
pig turned up. That's why I sound like when I snore.

1443
02:03:03.119 --> 02:03:16.399
How I get read into a whole experience. I don't

1444
02:03:16.439 --> 02:03:26.279
know how you feel, how relaxed you feel in your feet,

1445
02:03:29.399 --> 02:03:52.279
how relaxed you feel in your hands. I have noticed

1446
02:03:54.880 --> 02:04:11.119
more and more that the more relaxed, deeper level of

1447
02:04:11.359 --> 02:04:28.680
comfort you feel, the easier your breathing becomes. It's almost

1448
02:04:28.960 --> 02:04:49.279
like that additional muscle relaxation. So this allows you to

1449
02:04:49.479 --> 02:05:15.359
breathe easier without this necessarily focusing on your breath, however,

1450
02:05:15.600 --> 02:05:44.399
being able to notice the ease in which you breathe

1451
02:05:44.600 --> 02:06:34.439
so naturally, you breathe so very easily and smoothly. Whenever

1452
02:06:34.560 --> 02:06:52.880
I imagine my breathing improving. When I've got my eyes closed,

1453
02:06:58.880 --> 02:07:11.359
I tend to, yeah, visualize a beautiful field with trees

1454
02:07:11.720 --> 02:07:44.920
and flowers producing all that life giving oxygen. And it

1455
02:07:44.960 --> 02:08:01.159
feels nice too, if nothing else, just taking some time

1456
02:08:07.000 --> 02:08:55.319
away from everything, enjoying that feeling of peace, serenity with

1457
02:08:55.359 --> 02:09:31.880
a joyful heart. Time seems to just drip by so

1458
02:09:33.079 --> 02:10:22.840
very slowly, relaxed, so deeply peaceful, completely unattached to any

1459
02:10:23.760 --> 02:11:27.239
thoughts whatsoever in this moment, completely free, noticing that your

1460
02:11:27.439 --> 02:12:14.640
mind has slowed down, slowed down because nothing really requires

1461
02:12:14.680 --> 02:12:45.079
your attention. You can enjoy the physical sensations of allowing

1462
02:12:45.319 --> 02:12:57.520
the stress to drip out of your body, d appear

1463
02:12:57.840 --> 02:13:21.800
out of every part of your body, and being released

1464
02:13:27.079 --> 02:14:07.720
from your brain your mind slowly but surely. The muscles

1465
02:14:08.039 --> 02:14:49.399
in your legs relax res res so very deep, thing

1466
02:14:53.880 --> 02:15:25.159
reas deeply, and the feelings, the pleasant feelings in your

1467
02:15:25.439 --> 02:15:53.239
arms and shoulders, deepening each part of your body further

1468
02:15:58.199 --> 02:16:31.560
and deeper and deeper. Noticine, the feelings in the back

1469
02:16:31.600 --> 02:17:33.319
of your neck, the feelings in your wrists, muscles in

1470
02:17:33.600 --> 02:18:10.399
front of your body. I will say, filing peace deep.

1471
02:18:27.559 --> 02:18:37.840
There's a sense of pace spreads through your very core.

1472
02:19:08.399 --> 02:19:28.280
Even when you focus on your mind. Her mind becomes

1473
02:19:35.639 --> 02:20:58.520
be and slowerven deeper, relax so faery slow his stomach

1474
02:21:12.600 --> 02:21:54.559
peace fall in your stomach, held back. Notice Notice how

1475
02:21:54.799 --> 02:22:12.799
relaxed mhm you now feel in the hole of your back.

1476
02:22:37.959 --> 02:22:39.200
In a spy.

1477
02:22:42.879 --> 02:22:47.639
From your brain all the way down the middle of

1478
02:22:47.680 --> 02:22:59.399
your back, sending and receiving millions of messages every day.

1479
02:23:10.399 --> 02:24:29.600
Deep comfort, increase in deeply relaxed your knees relax spreading

1480
02:24:29.799 --> 02:24:38.920
those signals down your spine or cord into air. Every

1481
02:24:39.200 --> 02:25:26.399
part of your body, your shins and your calf muscles, outbows,

1482
02:25:42.559 --> 02:26:00.079
feelings of peace and tranquility spreading through your body, tips

1483
02:26:00.079 --> 02:26:16.040
of your toes, to your eyes, your fingers, all the

1484
02:26:16.040 --> 02:26:30.360
way you'll know it back letting her.

1485
02:26:32.120 --> 02:27:02.120
Rediatink peace.

1486
02:27:17.440 --> 02:27:42.319
To drift in mind just won't in a way happy

1487
02:27:43.120 --> 02:28:48.680
to let go, Let go completely, let go, said tranquil body,

1488
02:28:53.000 --> 02:29:19.959
enjoying a sensor listening that.

1489
02:29:23.639 --> 02:30:33.879
He no, he.

1490
02:31:08.760 --> 02:31:50.799
Enjoying the space, this space of peace and safety, sur

1491
02:31:51.399 --> 02:33:53.479
very first us letting go. Maybe we can just focus

1492
02:33:53.559 --> 02:34:27.680
on the different parts of your body, just to notice

1493
02:34:28.319 --> 02:35:30.719
you forehead and your eyes utub so loose, noticing in

1494
02:35:30.840 --> 02:37:06.120
the sense of complete freedom, absolute freedom, day, peace for energy,

1495
02:37:39.000 --> 02:39:01.840
pace to breeze, so much easy.

1496
02:38:28.639 --> 02:38:28.920
Lois.

1497
02:38:50.239 --> 02:39:37.719
You may or may not have noticed your mind drifting

1498
02:39:39.600 --> 02:40:03.799
peaceful move any even more deeply in the direction of

1499
02:40:09.079 --> 02:42:06.559
total blissphul pace blisphor pace directed to to pace colm

1500
02:42:10.360 --> 02:43:05.840
so calm, let him go, peace of mind rexed body

1501
02:43:23.120 --> 02:44:19.879
c rex c rex put the films almost invisible, so

1502
02:44:20.559 --> 02:44:26.879
very relaxed and paceful.

1503
02:44:32.600 --> 02:44:57.239
So pace from rel.

1504
02:45:04.360 --> 02:45:43.360
Leo so so, and you could start to notice that

1505
02:45:44.159 --> 02:45:52.280
you are feeling more relaxed, even though I've not.

1506
02:45:53.799 --> 02:46:04.559
Purposely focused your mind upon that sense of physical comfort

1507
02:46:05.239 --> 02:46:12.120
that is growing within you throughout your body, and your

1508
02:46:12.200 --> 02:46:22.840
mind starts to slow down, and that could be almost

1509
02:46:22.959 --> 02:46:32.520
in recognition of I guess my speech not being particularly fast,

1510
02:46:39.040 --> 02:46:49.479
and things just generally feel calmer. Just by listening to

1511
02:46:49.600 --> 02:46:58.239
my voice, you give yourself an opportunity to take a

1512
02:46:58.319 --> 02:47:05.159
break from the day, take a break from your life,

1513
02:47:06.239 --> 02:47:15.200
as it is, to give yourself a rest, giving yourself

1514
02:47:15.319 --> 02:47:22.600
permission to take some time off and to allow your

1515
02:47:22.600 --> 02:47:28.600
body to relax and allow your mind to slow down,

1516
02:47:32.639 --> 02:47:40.559
which in turn releases the tension and stresses that you

1517
02:47:40.760 --> 02:47:50.680
had in your body. It's almost as if the parts

1518
02:47:50.719 --> 02:47:55.879
of your body just open up, allowing the negativity out

1519
02:48:02.719 --> 02:48:08.760
and at the same time replacing that negativity with positive

1520
02:48:09.920 --> 02:48:18.120
healing energy, which then fills your body up and your

1521
02:48:18.200 --> 02:48:35.120
mind to also starts to appreciate those feelings of increasing confidence,

1522
02:48:39.000 --> 02:48:55.799
an almost uplifting feeling, positive healing, an energy that spreads

1523
02:48:56.000 --> 02:49:06.840
through your body like a wave of comfort. And all

1524
02:49:06.920 --> 02:49:19.000
this comes from just allowing yourself a few minutes, maybe

1525
02:49:19.079 --> 02:49:22.040
half an hour, however long you want it to be,

1526
02:49:23.200 --> 02:49:35.159
to just rest and allow your mind and your body

1527
02:49:37.360 --> 02:49:54.319
to almost reset itself to the settings of comfort and relaxation, calmness,

1528
02:49:58.399 --> 02:50:07.799
which allows more room for feelings of pleasure and happiness

1529
02:50:11.799 --> 02:50:20.879
to move around your body and into your mind, almost

1530
02:50:21.440 --> 02:50:26.040
as if your mind and your body are sinking together,

1531
02:50:30.280 --> 02:50:40.040
almost mirroring each other with that growing positivity and calmness.

1532
02:50:45.040 --> 02:50:52.520
And it feels nice, really does feel nice to know

1533
02:50:52.760 --> 02:51:01.680
that you are the one that has allowed yourself to

1534
02:51:01.920 --> 02:51:15.959
feel more comfort and to experience more of this deep

1535
02:51:16.360 --> 02:51:32.440
relaxation spreading throughout your body. And as I focus on

1536
02:51:32.680 --> 02:51:38.399
each part of your body, you can notice that that

1537
02:51:38.719 --> 02:51:55.520
part becomes even more relaxed just by focusing on it.

1538
02:51:55.360 --> 02:52:05.079
It becomes even more car and comfortable just by focusing.

1539
02:52:09.120 --> 02:52:14.879
And as I move down your body, starting at your head,

1540
02:52:17.559 --> 02:52:22.879
the parts that you have already focused on or continue

1541
02:52:24.200 --> 02:52:31.479
to relax deeply, and those parts that have not yet

1542
02:52:31.520 --> 02:52:44.399
focused on or just automatically release any remain intention in

1543
02:52:44.559 --> 02:52:58.799
anticipation of even more comfort about to come. Now. I'm

1544
02:52:58.840 --> 02:53:05.319
going to start by, folksocusing on your forehead. Just being

1545
02:53:05.440 --> 02:53:14.079
aware of the feelings of your forehead and any background

1546
02:53:14.360 --> 02:53:21.239
sounds like mister Herbert the pigeon, can just allow you

1547
02:53:21.399 --> 02:53:28.920
to feel even more relaxed just means you're in the moment.

1548
02:53:32.000 --> 02:53:37.399
This isn't this isn't a sterile environment. This is the world.

1549
02:53:40.799 --> 02:53:46.879
I live in the countryside, so there's lots of nature

1550
02:53:47.360 --> 02:53:57.920
sounds around. So as you focus on your forehead, just

1551
02:53:58.120 --> 02:54:08.200
notice how it becomes even more relaxed as your focus

1552
02:54:08.200 --> 02:54:12.760
only on my voice and that part of your body.

1553
02:54:17.879 --> 02:54:26.200
Moving down to your eyes, Focusing on your eyes, noticing

1554
02:54:28.639 --> 02:54:33.040
how your eyelids feel.

1555
02:54:32.920 --> 02:54:34.000
So heavy.

1556
02:54:36.079 --> 02:54:43.120
Yet so light at the same time, and all the

1557
02:54:43.239 --> 02:54:56.159
muscles around your eyes relaxing completely, moving your focus down

1558
02:54:56.200 --> 02:55:02.760
to your mouth, your lips, your tongue, your teeth, You

1559
02:55:03.000 --> 02:55:15.879
comes the whole of your mouth, relaxing, calm and lease.

1560
02:55:20.319 --> 02:55:28.120
As you focus now on your jaw, not just the

1561
02:55:28.239 --> 02:55:33.040
parts of your jawney, your mouth, and your chin, but

1562
02:55:33.239 --> 02:55:37.360
all the way up the size of your face to

1563
02:55:37.440 --> 02:55:51.280
your ears, the hole of your jaw, feeding more relaxed,

1564
02:55:55.440 --> 02:56:12.799
a calm. Focusing on your neck, the front of your

1565
02:56:12.920 --> 02:56:25.440
neck and your throat relaxing and loose and calm. The

1566
02:56:25.760 --> 02:56:31.600
sides of your neck, right and left side of your

1567
02:56:31.680 --> 02:56:38.280
neck relax and lace.

1568
02:56:42.040 --> 02:56:48.959
And calm.

1569
02:56:49.200 --> 02:56:56.040
And now the back of your neck. Focusing on the

1570
02:56:56.120 --> 02:57:06.600
back of your neck, letting go of any tension that

1571
02:57:06.760 --> 02:57:15.600
may have been there before and enjoying that sense of

1572
02:57:16.639 --> 02:57:21.600
increasing comfort and release.

1573
02:57:24.319 --> 02:57:28.319
Then you can experience in the back of your neck,

1574
02:57:34.600 --> 02:57:37.000
moving down your back.

1575
02:57:39.079 --> 02:57:43.840
And moving either side of your spine right from the

1576
02:57:43.879 --> 02:57:49.280
top of your back all the way down to the

1577
02:57:49.319 --> 02:58:06.600
bottom of your back down to your lower back. And

1578
02:58:06.680 --> 02:58:13.879
as you move up and down your spine, you can

1579
02:58:14.000 --> 02:58:22.200
feel the muscles either side of your spine relaxing even more.

1580
02:58:29.680 --> 02:58:36.479
And as those muscles relax, that sense of comfort starts

1581
02:58:36.559 --> 02:58:46.680
to spread outwards from your spine into both sides of

1582
02:58:46.760 --> 02:58:53.719
your back, the top of your back, the middle and

1583
02:58:53.920 --> 02:59:03.399
your lower back. And as you scan gently and slowly

1584
02:59:04.639 --> 02:59:09.920
up and down your back, there's the muscles in the

1585
02:59:10.000 --> 02:59:19.879
top of your back relax and become looser. The muscles

1586
02:59:20.000 --> 02:59:25.639
in the middle of your back also seem to just

1587
02:59:26.040 --> 02:59:40.559
almost divide from each other, separating and almost melting, And

1588
02:59:40.760 --> 02:59:46.879
in your lower back there seems to be an extra

1589
02:59:47.040 --> 03:00:00.799
special feeling of comfort. The spreads into you your hips,

1590
03:00:03.040 --> 03:00:04.879
sit down your lower back.

1591
03:00:04.879 --> 03:00:12.879
Into your hips, into the area where your cosix are,

1592
03:00:16.440 --> 03:00:24.399
and into your buttocks, and a wise, muscles that spread.

1593
03:00:25.319 --> 03:00:35.120
Bring your lower back into your hip area start to melt,

1594
03:00:39.559 --> 03:00:51.879
start to really let go and don't even know where about,

1595
03:00:52.000 --> 03:00:58.040
to focus on your shoulders. Your back and your spine

1596
03:00:59.040 --> 03:01:15.840
will continue till let go, continue to relax so calmly,

1597
03:01:20.479 --> 03:01:25.479
and then she focus on your shoulders. You may notice

1598
03:01:25.879 --> 03:01:41.280
they're already feeling really loose, they're already.

1599
03:01:43.559 --> 03:01:56.000
Feeding calm.

1600
03:01:56.479 --> 03:02:08.920
I feeling those muscles then move from your neck into

1601
03:02:08.959 --> 03:02:34.760
your shoulders. Feel so soft and gentle, so smooth and calm,

1602
03:02:45.719 --> 03:02:58.360
and the feeling in your shoulders seems to spread deep

1603
03:02:58.559 --> 03:03:08.319
into your shoulders, that sense of relaxation, not just traveling

1604
03:03:08.840 --> 03:03:26.079
deeply into your muscles, but also relaxing the bones and

1605
03:03:26.360 --> 03:03:34.559
moving all the way to underneath your arms, relaxing a

1606
03:03:34.760 --> 03:03:40.079
whole area between the tops of your shoulders and underneath

1607
03:03:40.120 --> 03:03:59.239
your arms healing. You feel so relaxed and comfortable in

1608
03:03:59.360 --> 03:04:18.559
your shot this which sense that's deep healing message into

1609
03:04:18.559 --> 03:04:30.760
your arms. You may feel almost as if your arms

1610
03:04:30.799 --> 03:04:39.799
are not even there, because they're so relaxed, so.

1611
03:04:41.280 --> 03:05:10.040
Deeply relaxed, so so calm.

1612
03:05:10.559 --> 03:05:17.799
So this.

1613
03:05:25.079 --> 03:05:36.440
The feeling spreading all the way down your arms to elbows,

1614
03:05:40.000 --> 03:06:10.079
including your elbows, comfort spreads away into rists, your forms

1615
03:06:10.200 --> 03:06:37.040
under wrists so heavy. Yet the same time, sunlight and

1616
03:06:37.799 --> 03:07:39.920
gentle f sin now on your hands, my hands so

1617
03:07:41.319 --> 03:08:22.360
peaceful in your hands, the sensor real pace just seems

1618
03:08:22.399 --> 03:08:47.559
to feel so familiar with your hands, relax deeply Else

1619
03:09:05.120 --> 03:10:44.719
the things things you think it taps may attention, let

1620
03:10:45.239 --> 03:11:17.000
affront your body cuts, make many new focus two legs

1621
03:12:35.879 --> 03:12:37.639
like musculs.

1622
03:12:39.040 --> 03:12:57.879
In your thighs, names.

1623
03:13:01.959 --> 03:15:48.920
Relaxed, cough muscles, just shins, composi, the feathing in your faints, sir,

1624
03:15:49.559 --> 03:16:48.440
piece of circom cer peaceful, circom so peaceful, sycom so

1625
03:16:50.440 --> 03:16:51.639
peace for.

1626
03:17:00.520 --> 03:17:02.399
RelA same.

1627
03:17:07.360 --> 03:17:23.040
Peace, fall, calm, a love, that deep.

1628
03:17:23.000 --> 03:17:29.639
Relaxation, to spread your chest, in your stomach.

1629
03:17:34.000 --> 03:17:43.200
Relaxed, lets you go.

1630
03:17:47.319 --> 03:18:04.680
Everything. So I'm gonna stop counting down now from twenty

1631
03:18:05.040 --> 03:18:13.200
down to one. You can imagine in a way it's

1632
03:18:13.360 --> 03:18:19.520
like just walking down some steps and each step or

1633
03:18:19.680 --> 03:18:25.680
twenty steps, and each step represents a level of comfort.

1634
03:18:29.159 --> 03:18:44.520
Each step represents a deepening of that comfort, and the

1635
03:18:44.719 --> 03:18:50.799
furvies you walk down those steps, the deeper and more

1636
03:18:50.879 --> 03:20:07.799
relaxed you feel. So start and we've number twenty twenty, nineteen, eighteen,

1637
03:20:45.799 --> 03:25:40.159
seventeen Sixteenhhhhhhhhi tree four four se too well.

1638
03:28:55.479 --> 03:29:58.600
No eight.

1639
03:30:58.079 --> 03:34:18.799
Seven US US six five us.

1640
03:35:00.840 --> 03:38:10.319
Us the boss.

1641
03:38:48.639 --> 03:38:48.879
One.

1642
03:39:38.719 --> 03:39:55.799
Now, as you focus on your eyes, you're gonna count

1643
03:39:55.920 --> 03:40:07.719
down from taking down to one, focusing just on your eyes,

1644
03:40:11.479 --> 03:40:19.959
your eyelids, the muscles around your eyes, your eye walls themselves,

1645
03:40:21.479 --> 03:40:27.120
a whole area that makes up your eye.

1646
03:40:38.120 --> 03:40:39.840
And as we count down.

1647
03:40:39.840 --> 03:40:48.200
From ten down to one, whilst focus in on your eyes,

1648
03:40:54.559 --> 03:41:05.440
you become twice is relaxed with each number counting down

1649
03:41:09.559 --> 03:41:16.520
that you may find the all you want to do

1650
03:41:17.040 --> 03:41:25.959
is just drift off to sleep. And if that's what

1651
03:41:26.239 --> 03:41:38.760
you want, then just allow yourself to do that. Now,

1652
03:41:41.760 --> 03:41:46.319
focusing on your eyes, I'm going.

1653
03:41:46.239 --> 03:41:48.399
To begin counting down.

1654
03:41:49.639 --> 03:42:31.799
From ten down to one right now, nine.

1655
03:43:05.920 --> 03:46:33.120
Eighthhes uh.

1656
03:46:03.680 --> 03:47:15.079
Fie four.

1657
03:48:28.360 --> 03:50:21.079
Three us.

1658
03:51:02.479 --> 03:51:02.719
One.

1659
03:51:09.120 --> 03:51:19.520
So counting down from ten to one.

1660
03:51:21.360 --> 03:51:34.120
Ten nine eight seven six five.

1661
03:51:36.159 --> 03:51:39.879
Four three.

1662
03:51:42.520 --> 03:51:54.559
Two one. And maybe that was a bit too quick

1663
03:51:55.159 --> 03:51:59.079
in order to relax. Maybe it's a bit too fast

1664
03:51:59.360 --> 03:52:08.159
for you to notice the calming of your body, maybe

1665
03:52:09.000 --> 03:52:12.840
even a little bit of pressure there. Like you're counted

1666
03:52:12.959 --> 03:52:16.239
down from ten to one. Would you expect me to do? Man,

1667
03:52:17.159 --> 03:52:21.719
expect me to go with floppy just because you're counting down.

1668
03:52:27.319 --> 03:52:30.600
You can try it again, but this time I'll go

1669
03:52:30.680 --> 03:52:37.719
a bit slower. This time, as you focus on the

1670
03:52:37.879 --> 03:52:42.000
whole of your body before we focus on your legs,

1671
03:52:44.440 --> 03:52:54.719
just notice how your body does start to feel more relaxed.

1672
03:53:00.799 --> 03:53:34.319
Every number that I count down ten nine, eight, seven, six,

1673
03:53:42.760 --> 03:54:52.639
five four three one, I just notice how how you feel, generally,

1674
03:54:53.079 --> 03:55:07.360
how your body feels. It's not necessarily even about counting

1675
03:55:07.520 --> 03:55:14.239
down from ten to one. It's that space that.

1676
03:55:14.319 --> 03:55:16.040
You have, that.

1677
03:55:18.600 --> 03:55:39.520
Space between being active physically or mentally to just sitting

1678
03:55:39.760 --> 03:55:44.559
or lying down, just being there, not doing anything, not

1679
03:55:44.879 --> 03:55:51.879
saying anything, or needing to think about anything. So it

1680
03:55:52.000 --> 03:55:55.559
opens up a space, you know, a bit of a space,

1681
03:55:56.520 --> 03:56:06.360
a gap. And the more I came down from ten

1682
03:56:06.440 --> 03:56:13.799
to one, the bigger that gap becomes. So there's that

1683
03:56:14.040 --> 03:56:26.639
gap of calmness, of comfort, relaxation. It's a nice feeling,

1684
03:56:32.200 --> 03:56:40.920
and it moves those stresses or discomforts physically or emotionally,

1685
03:56:41.600 --> 03:56:42.719
moves them.

1686
03:56:44.239 --> 03:56:44.639
Away.

1687
03:56:51.399 --> 03:56:52.360
Allows you.

1688
03:56:55.079 --> 03:56:55.600
To just.

1689
03:56:58.559 --> 03:57:04.879
Slow down. Someone to count a game from ten down

1690
03:57:04.920 --> 03:57:14.920
to one, and notice that gap widening, the gap, And

1691
03:57:15.040 --> 03:57:20.040
as it widens, it's almost like the stress and attention

1692
03:57:20.879 --> 03:57:40.000
falls into the gap and gives you that distance, that space.

1693
03:57:42.399 --> 03:59:37.159
Now ten nine, eight, seven, six, five four three two one.

1694
03:59:49.040 --> 03:59:49.799
How did your.

1695
03:59:51.840 --> 04:00:12.079
Body feel. Can you notice that? Do you feeling calmer.

1696
04:00:19.680 --> 04:00:19.760
There?

1697
04:00:19.840 --> 04:00:48.559
You're feeling more relaxed as we now focus on your legs,

1698
04:00:50.280 --> 04:01:10.719
just your legs. We're just gonna start with focusing on

1699
04:01:11.159 --> 04:01:30.319
your thighs. Of course, it's not the most exciting thing

1700
04:01:30.479 --> 04:01:37.000
to be doing, because I'm sure like most of your

1701
04:01:37.040 --> 04:01:48.719
body is not a lot going on right now. Just

1702
04:01:48.920 --> 04:01:55.040
focusing on the whole of your thighs, the tops of

1703
04:01:55.120 --> 04:02:01.200
your thighs, the sides of your fires the bottoms of

1704
04:02:01.280 --> 04:02:08.239
your thighs, your outer thighs, and your inner thighs. Basically

1705
04:02:08.440 --> 04:02:12.079
the whole of your thigh that leads into your hip

1706
04:02:16.159 --> 04:02:26.920
and it goes down to your knee joint. Now, this

1707
04:02:27.079 --> 04:02:34.559
is a big area. It's a very heavy area. It's

1708
04:02:34.719 --> 04:02:41.120
very strong, probably the strongest muscles in your body or

1709
04:02:41.200 --> 04:02:57.319
in your thighs. But I don't think we perhaps will

1710
04:02:57.399 --> 04:03:10.079
give enough attention to our thighs. Perhaps we don't acknowledge

1711
04:03:10.760 --> 04:03:30.159
how important our thighs are to our lives, how much

1712
04:03:32.760 --> 04:03:46.280
they actually do for us all through our lives. And

1713
04:03:46.399 --> 04:03:52.079
it may seem to sound really weird, but I think

1714
04:03:52.159 --> 04:03:59.200
that all of our body parts, especially our thighs, needs

1715
04:03:59.719 --> 04:04:13.719
to Elsie a bit of love shown, a bit of acknowledgement.

1716
04:04:16.479 --> 04:04:32.120
Thank you, gratitude for our thighs do for us. And

1717
04:04:32.239 --> 04:04:38.120
I know this may sound a bit strange. Maybe you think,

1718
04:04:38.559 --> 04:04:41.920
why am I surely should be out in the garden

1719
04:04:42.120 --> 04:04:50.360
hugging a tree or something. Well, it's hard to set

1720
04:04:50.399 --> 04:04:53.559
a microphone up on a tree. That's why I'm doing

1721
04:04:53.600 --> 04:04:56.239
this indoors. Otherwise I wouldn't be outside hugging a tree.

1722
04:04:57.639 --> 04:04:59.360
I can't see the television.

1723
04:04:58.920 --> 04:04:59.399
From the tree.

1724
04:05:06.120 --> 04:05:10.360
If you move down to your knees gain such an

1725
04:05:10.440 --> 04:05:20.159
important part. And I think we don't necessarily I'll speak

1726
04:05:20.200 --> 04:05:25.920
for myself. I don't necessarily appreciate.

1727
04:05:27.079 --> 04:05:28.399
All that my needs do.

1728
04:05:28.559 --> 04:05:33.440
For me until I have a problem with my knee.

1729
04:05:34.399 --> 04:05:38.520
It's occasionally, if I ever maybe i'll bash it or

1730
04:05:39.479 --> 04:05:45.600
it's aching for some reason. It's then that I realize.

1731
04:05:46.200 --> 04:05:47.360
How much it does.

1732
04:05:49.000 --> 04:05:52.239
You know, the benefit of being able to use my

1733
04:05:52.479 --> 04:06:02.159
legs without any kind of physical discomfort is a beautiful

1734
04:06:02.239 --> 04:06:11.479
thing that's possibly not appreciated until it's temporarily removed. You

1735
04:06:11.559 --> 04:06:12.799
know that's comfort.

1736
04:06:16.920 --> 04:06:18.120
But as you focus on your.

1737
04:06:18.120 --> 04:06:26.040
Knees, regardless of how your knees feel, you can have

1738
04:06:26.159 --> 04:06:32.239
that sense of gratitude and love to your knees for

1739
04:06:32.440 --> 04:06:44.840
all that they do for you, and you can still

1740
04:06:44.959 --> 04:06:49.319
have that attention on your thighs. Maybe notice how your

1741
04:06:49.399 --> 04:07:03.440
thighs feel, Maybe notice that they are relaxing more deeply

1742
04:07:10.200 --> 04:07:14.680
as you focus now on the bottoms of your legs,

1743
04:07:15.159 --> 04:07:20.920
your shins, and your calf muscles. The bones between your

1744
04:07:21.879 --> 04:07:27.559
knees and your feet incorporate, and of course your ankles

1745
04:07:29.879 --> 04:07:41.000
so important. Anyone that's had even like the slightest sprain

1746
04:07:41.120 --> 04:07:48.079
of an ankle knows how how much we take our

1747
04:07:48.319 --> 04:07:56.840
ankles for granted. And it's kind of strange in a

1748
04:07:56.920 --> 04:08:02.479
way when you think that. You know, logically, our wrists

1749
04:08:02.639 --> 04:08:05.520
are a lot thinner than the rest of our arms,

1750
04:08:06.639 --> 04:08:10.120
which is okay, it doesn't I can't see any problem

1751
04:08:10.159 --> 04:08:15.040
with that because we're just picking stuff up by our

1752
04:08:15.159 --> 04:08:20.959
ankles so much thinner than the rest of our legs.

1753
04:08:27.399 --> 04:08:31.799
And from a physics perspective or logical even it doesn't

1754
04:08:31.879 --> 04:08:37.879
really make sense that all this weight would ultimately be

1755
04:08:38.959 --> 04:08:49.000
resting on your ankles then leading to your feet. That

1756
04:08:49.559 --> 04:08:58.559
thin area, thin bone. Yeah, it does so much great work.

1757
04:09:00.719 --> 04:09:10.239
Supports us, supports our body for a lifetime, helps us

1758
04:09:10.920 --> 04:09:20.280
to balance it helps you to get around and be mobile.

1759
04:09:26.600 --> 04:09:34.399
And there's the calf muscles. Of course, when I was younger,

1760
04:09:34.799 --> 04:09:36.760
I couldn't see the pointing calf muscles.

1761
04:09:37.600 --> 04:09:38.760
Didn't seem to do anything.

1762
04:09:40.319 --> 04:09:44.799
Okay, if I walked around on tiptoes, then my calf

1763
04:09:44.920 --> 04:09:45.959
muscles get some work.

1764
04:09:47.360 --> 04:09:48.680
But of course that's not true.

1765
04:09:48.799 --> 04:09:53.000
The calf muscles are being used whenever we use their

1766
04:09:53.079 --> 04:10:06.879
legs and your shins there to protect your lower legs,

1767
04:10:11.200 --> 04:10:16.360
shaped in a way, almost as a protector for the bone,

1768
04:10:23.959 --> 04:10:35.840
leading of course to your ankles and your feet. But

1769
04:10:35.920 --> 04:10:37.840
we're not going to focus on your feet. We're just

1770
04:10:37.920 --> 04:10:44.360
going to focus on the legs. I realize, and now

1771
04:10:44.399 --> 04:10:49.000
that I've mentioned your feet, you'll probably focus on them anyway,

1772
04:10:49.520 --> 04:10:52.120
So maybe I should focus on your feet a little bit.

1773
04:10:56.120 --> 04:11:00.559
You can have them in your awareness the same as

1774
04:11:00.639 --> 04:11:05.000
you have your thighs in your awareness. Even though we

1775
04:11:05.120 --> 04:11:09.120
haven't been focusing on your thighs for a few minutes

1776
04:11:10.840 --> 04:11:21.680
and we're focusing on your ankles, there's still that sensation

1777
04:11:21.959 --> 04:11:37.280
of comfort in your thighs, and there's that movement of

1778
04:11:37.639 --> 04:11:47.079
energy because the thighs hold lots of different sensations. Of course,

1779
04:11:47.159 --> 04:11:51.920
there's the muscles, the big straw muscles that we have

1780
04:11:52.120 --> 04:12:05.440
in our thighs. But the skin on the outside of

1781
04:12:05.520 --> 04:12:10.840
the thighs, as in the outside of all of our body,

1782
04:12:11.639 --> 04:12:23.200
can be very sensitive, sensitive to the touch, sensitive to temperature,

1783
04:12:29.760 --> 04:12:37.280
and inside your thighs the bones, there's the muscle, there's

1784
04:12:37.360 --> 04:12:42.159
the blood, vessels, the arch trees, to all this stuff

1785
04:12:42.239 --> 04:12:51.360
that inside your thighs. I guess sometimes it'd be nice

1786
04:12:51.360 --> 04:12:55.680
if you could actually put your fingers inside your thighs

1787
04:12:56.319 --> 04:13:02.280
and message, so you can message on the outside, of course,

1788
04:13:03.079 --> 04:13:05.399
but to be able to get deep into the muscles,

1789
04:13:06.399 --> 04:13:11.559
to be able to just massage inside your thighs, message

1790
04:13:11.600 --> 04:13:20.319
in the bones of your leg, massage in or the veins,

1791
04:13:20.479 --> 04:13:30.760
and just gently healing your thighs and you can move

1792
04:13:30.959 --> 04:13:38.280
down message and inside your knees, just message in those bones,

1793
04:13:39.319 --> 04:13:46.319
but with healing fingertips, spreading the healing energy deep into

1794
04:13:46.440 --> 04:13:47.440
the choice.

1795
04:13:48.639 --> 04:13:49.200
Your knees.

1796
04:13:54.639 --> 04:13:58.319
Of course, there's the back of your you need and

1797
04:13:58.440 --> 04:14:05.639
the inside crease you need is it's a very sensitive area.

1798
04:14:07.639 --> 04:14:12.000
Very it feels very nice when you stroke it. That

1799
04:14:12.159 --> 04:14:15.840
might be because it's an area that's not really touched

1800
04:14:16.079 --> 04:14:22.639
very often. It's almost like a hidden part that crease

1801
04:14:24.760 --> 04:14:26.559
in your legs. It's almost.

1802
04:14:28.520 --> 04:14:29.239
Like a part that.

1803
04:14:31.040 --> 04:14:42.280
Has a sensitivity, which is a little bit different. Of course,

1804
04:14:42.319 --> 04:14:52.799
it's protected by your legs. So you can imagine putting

1805
04:14:53.719 --> 04:15:03.559
your fingers into that crease in your legs. Fold in

1806
04:15:03.639 --> 04:15:07.600
between your legs, you can just message with your fingertips.

1807
04:15:08.799 --> 04:15:15.600
Imagine your fingertips going inside, massage in the muscle or tissue.

1808
04:15:20.200 --> 04:15:24.440
You can of course field the bones of your knees,

1809
04:15:25.959 --> 04:15:36.399
healing through your fingertips, and then as you go down

1810
04:15:39.280 --> 04:15:42.079
to your calf muscles, and that's the part I'd like

1811
04:15:42.159 --> 04:15:46.879
to be able to really put my fingertips deep inside

1812
04:15:47.639 --> 04:15:56.559
my half muscles, massage in every single tissue of that muscle,

1813
04:15:58.159 --> 04:16:08.079
healing every part, and then doing the same for my shins.

1814
04:16:11.280 --> 04:16:19.719
Massage generally stroking the bones, generally stroking them, healing in

1815
04:16:19.840 --> 04:16:27.040
a loving way because they deserve to be treated. There's

1816
04:16:27.120 --> 04:16:31.120
the precious bones that they are, because our legs are

1817
04:16:31.159 --> 04:16:34.959
so precious, as in all the other parts of our body,

1818
04:16:37.440 --> 04:16:51.360
the more precious of any chore on the planet. When

1819
04:16:51.399 --> 04:16:59.159
you start to think about the legs in this way,

1820
04:17:03.760 --> 04:17:10.399
it can change your perspective. In my sound a bit

1821
04:17:13.520 --> 04:17:17.799
a bit silly to start with the idea of having

1822
04:17:18.680 --> 04:17:28.680
love for your legs, showing appreciation for your thighs, wanting

1823
04:17:28.799 --> 04:17:32.719
to be able to put your hands in your thighs,

1824
04:17:34.959 --> 04:17:41.319
massage the muscles and the bones, and to get your

1825
04:17:41.440 --> 04:17:46.360
fingers deep in there, releasing all tension.

1826
04:17:49.239 --> 04:17:50.200
Just to show.

1827
04:17:51.840 --> 04:17:59.159
How much you care about your legs, how much you

1828
04:17:59.319 --> 04:18:04.840
care for or what your legs do for you regularly,

1829
04:18:07.200 --> 04:18:17.399
your knees, your cars, your ankles, the strength of your ankles,

1830
04:18:20.319 --> 04:18:25.040
considering how thin they are compared to the rest of

1831
04:18:25.120 --> 04:18:34.879
your legs, especially your thighs. Yeah, they're so strong, so flexible,

1832
04:18:38.639 --> 04:18:51.520
absolutely amazing things. Your ankles are truly a gift because

1833
04:18:51.520 --> 04:19:00.319
of what they do for you, supporting all that weight,

1834
04:19:02.280 --> 04:19:06.680
regardless of how what weight you are, even if you

1835
04:19:06.799 --> 04:19:11.799
only ate stone, there's still a lot of weight for

1836
04:19:11.959 --> 04:19:18.440
these little ankles. How am I a lot heavier than

1837
04:19:18.520 --> 04:19:19.399
eight stone.

1838
04:19:20.719 --> 04:19:21.280
Double down?

1839
04:19:24.760 --> 04:19:29.840
Yet my ankles support my body all the time.

1840
04:19:33.600 --> 04:19:34.159
Whether they do.

1841
04:19:34.959 --> 04:19:37.280
Give off a sigh of relief when I sit down.

1842
04:19:39.600 --> 04:19:39.879
That's it.

1843
04:19:40.639 --> 04:19:41.479
You've had my whole.

1844
04:19:41.319 --> 04:19:50.840
Legs though, my feet feels to go, my toes clap

1845
04:19:52.239 --> 04:20:13.600
so happy. Your legs.

1846
04:20:15.120 --> 04:20:22.959
Really are amazing, And I know you're talking about talking

1847
04:20:23.000 --> 04:20:28.479
about your legs is probably possibly one of the most

1848
04:20:29.440 --> 04:20:36.959
most boring things you've ever heard anyone say. Possibly you're

1849
04:20:37.079 --> 04:20:43.920
boring or not. Everything I said is true. Your legs

1850
04:20:44.559 --> 04:21:04.559
are amazing. Your legs deserve not just respect, they deserve

1851
04:21:04.680 --> 04:21:17.120
to relax deeply. They deserve to take some time out

1852
04:21:17.639 --> 04:21:41.120
of the day to just let go completely. The legs

1853
04:21:46.559 --> 04:21:59.840
really can relax because the legs are so such a

1854
04:22:00.319 --> 04:22:05.840
most you know, very important part of your body. When

1855
04:22:05.879 --> 04:22:11.000
you relax relecs, the rest of your body also naturally

1856
04:22:12.000 --> 04:22:28.159
follows in that journey of comfort, Like I feel it

1857
04:22:28.200 --> 04:22:36.559
in my hips. My hips feel really loose, and also

1858
04:22:36.760 --> 04:22:37.879
my lower back as well.

1859
04:22:39.920 --> 04:22:41.440
My lower back really.

1860
04:22:41.920 --> 04:22:46.520
Feels it feels stretched, even though I'm just sitting in

1861
04:22:46.600 --> 04:22:52.680
a chair and there's no stretching as far as I'm

1862
04:22:52.680 --> 04:22:56.159
aware that I'm doing. It's almost as if the muscles

1863
04:22:56.200 --> 04:23:00.239
that just relaxed so much that there is a tru

1864
04:23:00.520 --> 04:23:24.719
stretch as the tension has reduced a lot. And I'm

1865
04:23:24.799 --> 04:23:32.520
now going to count down from ten downs one. You

1866
04:23:32.639 --> 04:24:01.920
can continue to film wonderfully relaxed ten nine, eight, seven, six, five.

1867
04:24:06.319 --> 04:24:10.399
Four three.

1868
04:24:14.280 --> 04:24:19.360
Two one.

1869
04:24:25.200 --> 04:24:25.799
Relax.

1870
04:24:33.680 --> 04:24:35.200
So I'm just going to count down.

1871
04:24:36.559 --> 04:24:41.239
From five down to one and as a countdown, if

1872
04:24:41.280 --> 04:24:48.360
you just focus on the numbers, just the numbers counting down,

1873
04:24:49.399 --> 04:24:53.319
and notice how you feel.

1874
04:24:55.680 --> 04:24:56.840
In this moment.

1875
04:24:58.280 --> 04:25:02.680
As you hear the numbers counting down, knowing that those

1876
04:25:02.840 --> 04:25:15.879
numbers counting down represent you feeling calmer, not just in

1877
04:25:16.000 --> 04:25:20.600
your body, but also relaxing your mind.

1878
04:25:23.639 --> 04:25:24.959
Just notice how you feel.

1879
04:25:25.840 --> 04:25:31.760
There's nothing to do, there's nothing to say, there's nothing

1880
04:25:31.920 --> 04:26:08.920
to think about, starting with number five, four, three, two.

1881
04:26:14.719 --> 04:26:14.959
One.

1882
04:26:24.399 --> 04:26:30.840
How as you notice the gradual.

1883
04:26:33.079 --> 04:26:33.639
Letting go.

1884
04:26:36.200 --> 04:26:43.280
The tension in your body, you may also begin to

1885
04:26:43.600 --> 04:26:50.879
notice and be aware of how your mind is starting

1886
04:26:51.319 --> 04:26:59.280
to slow down. This is just a natural thing that happens.

1887
04:27:01.920 --> 04:27:07.120
It's not really a special procedure. It's just natural because

1888
04:27:07.280 --> 04:27:13.079
is your body relaxes, your mind also starts to relax.

1889
04:27:14.680 --> 04:27:16.239
And the more your mind.

1890
04:27:16.120 --> 04:27:19.959
Relaxes, the more your body relaxes. It's just a continuous

1891
04:27:21.040 --> 04:27:32.120
circle of relaxation. And there's that calmness that comes from

1892
04:27:34.120 --> 04:27:35.280
relative quietness.

1893
04:27:36.879 --> 04:27:41.760
You know, even even if there's background sounds either.

1894
04:27:41.600 --> 04:27:48.440
Your side, online, it's still going to be quite calm.

1895
04:27:50.159 --> 04:27:52.799
You know, you haven't got the television on, there's no

1896
04:27:53.120 --> 04:27:57.319
music in the background, unless you're listening to the recorded

1897
04:27:57.360 --> 04:28:04.799
with music. Of course, you're very likely not going to

1898
04:28:04.840 --> 04:28:07.920
be sitting in a room with other people. Of course

1899
04:28:08.000 --> 04:28:12.479
you might be, but generally it's more ideal if you

1900
04:28:12.600 --> 04:28:23.479
can do this on your own, so no distractions, and

1901
04:28:23.600 --> 04:28:38.799
when you stop thinking about stuff, relaxation automatically rises, a

1902
04:28:38.959 --> 04:28:49.600
sense of comfort starts to grow, and without trying to

1903
04:28:49.719 --> 04:29:00.639
build it up into something fantastical or something magical, this

1904
04:29:00.840 --> 04:29:06.120
is just a natural process, something.

1905
04:29:05.879 --> 04:29:08.079
That's easy.

1906
04:29:10.079 --> 04:29:16.840
To accomplish. In fact, it's almost you know, the sense

1907
04:29:16.959 --> 04:29:23.760
of relaxing completely happens really when you put no effort

1908
04:29:24.120 --> 04:29:28.000
into it. It's not something that you can really force.

1909
04:29:30.600 --> 04:29:40.000
It's something that happens naturally. And part of the process

1910
04:29:40.399 --> 04:29:51.600
of this recording and others is simply two allow you

1911
04:29:53.959 --> 04:30:04.840
to take advantage of this space, this time, to just

1912
04:30:09.040 --> 04:30:16.600
let go, to just be here, to be in tune

1913
04:30:20.280 --> 04:30:32.360
with how you feel, yet with the intention of wanting

1914
04:30:32.639 --> 04:30:44.760
to relax deeply and maybe even to fall asleep, depending

1915
04:30:45.000 --> 04:30:51.200
on what it is that you wish for yourself in

1916
04:30:51.360 --> 04:31:07.479
this moment. As we know, relaxing is the majority of

1917
04:31:07.639 --> 04:31:12.200
the process of falling asleep. The actual falling asleep part

1918
04:31:12.440 --> 04:31:20.639
is the tiny bit at the end the deeper relaxed

1919
04:31:21.040 --> 04:31:43.159
you become, the easier you find yourself drifting. You can also,

1920
04:31:43.319 --> 04:31:53.360
if you choose, stay focused on my voice and really

1921
04:31:53.879 --> 04:32:23.559
enjoy the process, gradually relaxing each muscle in your body

1922
04:32:28.639 --> 04:32:57.760
effortlessly and just observing the sensation of letting go completely.

1923
04:33:03.799 --> 04:33:07.840
This time, I'm gonna count from six down to one,

1924
04:33:12.639 --> 04:33:21.880
and you can notice your mind calming down more with

1925
04:33:22.279 --> 04:33:23.840
each number.

1926
04:33:25.200 --> 04:33:26.400
That you hear me.

1927
04:33:26.639 --> 04:35:07.680
Say, actually feeling calm and slow, peaceful sex five, four, three,

1928
04:36:35.720 --> 04:36:49.080
being aware how your mind to slowe, write down, sinking

1929
04:36:51.680 --> 04:37:15.959
deeply into relaxation. As you focus on your mind, they

1930
04:37:16.240 --> 04:37:17.080
notice that.

1931
04:37:19.000 --> 04:37:19.520
There are some.

1932
04:37:20.400 --> 04:37:27.040
Thoughts still there, maybe some stubborn thoughts that.

1933
04:37:29.520 --> 04:37:30.840
For some reason.

1934
04:37:33.520 --> 04:37:35.040
Perhaps need your attention.

1935
04:37:41.919 --> 04:37:43.439
That's what you can do is.

1936
04:37:48.880 --> 04:38:01.360
Send love to those thoughts. Sprinkle those thoughts with love,

1937
04:38:03.119 --> 04:38:09.279
my little petals from a flower. Just sprinkle over them petals,

1938
04:38:09.360 --> 04:38:16.560
feel good love towards those thoughts, to let those thoughts

1939
04:38:16.759 --> 04:38:23.599
know that you're not abandoned the number you just need them.

1940
04:38:24.840 --> 04:38:35.840
You require them to just calm down, slow down, quiet

1941
04:38:36.240 --> 04:38:52.200
down for now, so as you focus on those remaining thoughts.

1942
04:38:53.479 --> 04:38:57.520
As we countdown this time from seven down to one,

1943
04:38:59.080 --> 04:39:13.159
with each number, Just imagine sprinkling those flower petals of love, kindness,

1944
04:39:14.759 --> 04:39:26.599
gratitude over those thoughts, which will allow them to just

1945
04:39:28.080 --> 04:39:43.400
not away relax deeply. With every number, those thoughts will

1946
04:39:43.479 --> 04:42:27.000
become more and more relaxed. Starting if not seven, six fours,

1947
04:42:31.759 --> 04:42:52.680
that is how relaxed your feeling in your body. We

1948
04:42:52.840 --> 04:42:58.959
got to focus on your hands.

1949
04:43:05.000 --> 04:43:11.520
It's the oil. Extra hands on the oil, ax your

1950
04:43:11.639 --> 04:43:13.919
body and my dog.

1951
04:43:29.000 --> 04:43:41.080
Yes, you focus on your hands, your fingers. It's nothing

1952
04:43:41.639 --> 04:43:46.240
needed to be done with my clenching the fists of

1953
04:43:47.400 --> 04:44:02.520
dead and the fingers. Dad, it's just noticing freaks on

1954
04:44:02.720 --> 04:44:27.560
your hands. I see how you feel. I kiss them,

1955
04:44:30.200 --> 04:44:37.880
but asks your hands feel I can't by your mind

1956
04:44:38.240 --> 04:44:49.479
feels confidence you feel around your body?

1957
04:44:55.400 --> 04:44:58.479
Gee, may.

1958
04:45:04.880 --> 04:45:25.840
Why latist you starting.

1959
04:45:29.040 --> 04:45:29.439
Dread?

1960
04:45:43.159 --> 04:45:51.560
I said, just on my hands and angus.

1961
04:45:56.040 --> 04:45:59.279
I am cheap.

1962
04:46:01.639 --> 04:46:12.520
Experience a grow deepening of that relaxation in your heads

1963
04:46:12.639 --> 04:46:31.000
and fingers, A more relaxed reached number.

1964
04:46:38.560 --> 04:46:42.560
Of eight down to one.

1965
04:46:47.840 --> 04:46:59.599
Plumst feel that he relax energy spread it into your head.

1966
04:47:01.159 --> 04:47:19.680
Thanks my comment. Relaxing each number.

1967
04:47:26.119 --> 04:47:27.159
Coming down.

1968
04:47:29.119 --> 04:47:36.959
Light down to one, to drift down.

1969
04:47:40.200 --> 04:47:41.400
To drift in a cake.

1970
04:47:46.279 --> 04:47:47.279
Started with.

1971
04:47:51.880 --> 04:51:55.919
Num three, just be here, nothing to think about, nothing

1972
04:51:56.000 --> 04:52:06.720
to do, nothing to say, and everything just feels calm.

1973
04:52:11.759 --> 04:52:19.479
This is you let your state be. This is how

1974
04:52:19.639 --> 04:52:21.959
you just normally, if you.

1975
04:52:23.880 --> 04:52:24.840
Take away.

1976
04:52:26.159 --> 04:53:27.240
And unstop a stress siena of sense consers which coasts.

1977
04:53:22.880 --> 04:53:40.799
Just a feel confidence. Most common sence. Some found specialness.

1978
04:53:53.000 --> 04:54:24.520
Lad speak the flat. Since that's right, suss.

1979
04:54:23.319 --> 04:54:29.720
True, so true, that's.

1980
04:54:32.080 --> 04:54:43.119
Actually just sus.

1981
04:54:46.080 --> 04:54:46.520
Sus.

1982
04:54:58.159 --> 04:55:33.720
Sense cons human sings. You speak to suck into such

1983
04:55:35.360 --> 04:56:04.200
experience its spirits. At schools, step instant