April 28, 2025

(music) (5 hours) Monday’s Boring Objects | LMBYTS #1340 | 28th April 2025

(music) (5 hours) Monday’s Boring Objects | LMBYTS #1340 | 28th April 2025
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WEBVTT

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Hello, Hello, and welcome to Jasonnewland dot com. My name's

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Jason Newland and welcome to let Me boil you to sleep.

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This is Monday's Boring Objects and today it's Monday, the

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twenty eighth of April twenty twenty five. And I'll tell

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you what right, it's eleven twenty I don't know why.

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I mean, I haven't made a recording since the last

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recording I did was Friday. I think I can't remember,

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do you do? I bought a dudder let me boil

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your pain away recording and in on Saturday. Possibly, Yeah,

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I did, yad did so? I did qun a Friday Friday.

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H that's weird, but yeah, so, but you know what,

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it's eleven eleven. What time does it say it was?

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It's eleven twenty one. I've had one hundred and eighty

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five downloads today, like the whole day, and our don't

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know what's going on. I can't I can't believe. I

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can't believe it. Oh yeah, So I've got a website

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Jasonnewland dot com. If you like, you can send me

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messages on there. The website's pretty good. It's all got

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all my latest recordings. Ultimately all my recordings are on there.

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And also Jason Newland's boring group is my Facebook group,

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so that's pretty cool. And what else my YouTube channel

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at Jason Newland the YouTube channels again, it's ever since, right,

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ever since I've been just uploading the latest recordings on there.

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It's gone a bit. I mean, I've had a couple

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of new subscribers today. But so I can't really complain that.

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It's just it's not what it was. But is it

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my fault? I don't want to be on screen. I

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don't want to be on a video. It's not my

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fault videos why for some reason, I was only a

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little lie down just now. The vine was on the

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window sill in the bedroom, was looking out, and everything's peaceful.

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He's some bathing. I'm just having a little rest listening

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to an audio book. I'm not really asleep. I'm just

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listening to an audio book, just laying down, rested, my body, rested,

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my eyes, rested, my mind.

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And.

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Out of nowhere right right right like starts barking I was.

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I get up and I say stop, stop, get down

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off there. And all I do is I touch him,

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I touch his back. I prodded him. I literally just

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put my hands on him. That's get down.

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He's ground at me.

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Like he's crazy, like I can't. I know he's a dog,

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and I know the dog's bark Okay, I'm aware of that.

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I've been around the world and I've had him for

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two and a half years, so I know that he barks. However,

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I have to keep his barking to a minimum because

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there is a there's an after effect. There's consequences of

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him barking too much, and that is neighbors getting annoy

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also other dogs barking as well. But none of that

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bothers me personally, I don't care, but it affects my neighbors.

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And then the sound, you know, then maybe music's put

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on it's very loud to cover up the bark barking.

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Then someone else puts their music up to cover up

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it's like to try and cover up that music. And

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it can just be that role on effect. So if

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I can keep him quiet. It's not that I expect

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people not to have music on sub to do what

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they want, but I don't want people to feel they

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have to drown out his barking. Do you know what

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I mean? In it you get me swear down. So

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I'm just trying to explain that I don't know. I'm

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not in one second moaning about my neighbors downstairs because

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they are brilliant neighbors, really brilliant. So yeah, I'm not

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not complaining. I mean, none of the neighbors really are

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an issue to me. They're all all right. So while

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we're while I'm being false, let's talk about what can

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I what my I thought about doing it like a

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three pronged thing. So what am I We could not

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do it together? Maybe what am I? Yeah, that's it,

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and I write it down because I remember it, but

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it's it's one of those weird things that I was

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thinking about this last night in bed. So three the three,

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I don't know what to call them. So so grateful one

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think I'm grateful about one thing I forgive and one

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thing I'm looking forward to. So I'm going to I'm

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going to try and start doing that. In case I

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haven't already said it, please only listen to this when

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you could safely close your eyes. So I'm going to try.

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And this is just a new thing I used to do,

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the gratitude thing. Three things you're grateful for. I struggled

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to find one sometimes, so I thought, I know when

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I'm feeling grateful, the list is endless. Okay, so I thought, okay,

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listen instead of putting, because this isn't supposed to be

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a test, This isn't supposed to be something that puts

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you on the spot. It's just a relaxing, calm, chilled

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out thing. So one thing that we're grateful for, one

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thing that we're all that we all forgive. It might

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be something you've already forgiven. It might be something that

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you decide, yeah, I forgive that, I forgive that person,

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or I forgive whatever. It could just be something really small.

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But you know what, if we do a small thing

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every day, it means they never build up. And then

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something we're looking forward to, and I know that that

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the literal term of looking forward to something is you're

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thinking about something that's about it's going to happen in

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the future. Is literally the term looking forward to, but

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it's not used in that way, is it In the

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English language. Generally it's something you may be not necessarily

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excited about, maybe excited, but something that you're feeling positive about,

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something that you're feeling good. You know, you feel nice.

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You think about it and you feel nice. Maybe and

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I realized I've just explained the very simple term to

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people that know what it means. I'm sorry. Do that

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mean to be condescending? So I'm sorry about that. By

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the way, condescending is kind of it's like talking down

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to someone explaining to someone's explaining something to someone that

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maybe that they kind of obviously would understand. It's I

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guess being condescending is it's kind of expecting of a

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person not to be very very clever. So I like that.

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That makes me laugh. I'm sorry, sorry about being your

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ild don condescending. By the way, what condescending means is

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right grateful. So if you just think about this, what

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you're grateful for? What do you forgive? What you're looking

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forward to? So I'm want to say mine, you ain't

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got a join in with this, I mean it might

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be at home thinking shut up. I want to tell

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you what I'm grateful for. I don't want to tell you.

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I don't want to think about something I forgive. I

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don't want to look forward to anything. Just get on

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monkey boy and tell us about something boring so that

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that might be what you're thinking, which is fine, okay,

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So what am I grateful for right this minute? I'm

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grateful that I'm sitting here doing this because an hour

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ago I didn't want to, and all weekend I didn't

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want to. So yeah, I'm grateful that I actually am

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sitting here making this recording. So that's what I'm grateful for.

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What are you grateful for? Maybe you could just post

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on YouTube or whatever what you're grateful for on my

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I don't know, maybe on the Facebook, on Jason Leuland's

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boring group. Just maybe just put in what you're grateful

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if you want. If you don't, that's also fine. And

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I don't mean like go and grab your phone and

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do it now, because this is chill out time. Something

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that you forget, something I forgive. Let me think I

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forgive one of my neighbors for Yeah, I forgive her

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for borrowing money not paying it back. Yeah, I forgive that.

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It's actually someone I saw yesterday and I got really

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well for him, Like you know what, I don't care

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about it anymore, but you know I do. I forgive.

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I was holding on to it a bit, so I

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forgive that. And is there anything that you forgive Maybe

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you could forgive me, forgive me for making all these recordings.

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So I'm trying to think next is something that we're

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looking forward to. I'm going to do this at the

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beginning of every recording, so you probably I don't unless

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you don't want me to, then I won't. Okay. So

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I'm not here to I'm not here to annoy people.

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I'm not here just to not it's not my only

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intention it's to annoy people. So something to look forward to?

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What am I want to do this genuinely rather than

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there might have to be things that I make up

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in a sense of like okay, or I might have

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to search for it rather than make it up. What

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am I looking forward to? Maybe you'd like to think

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of something that you're looking forward to, or maybe you've

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already done it, Maybe it's already there, maybe it's in

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your mind anyway, something or am I looking forward to?

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M that's a good that's not supposed to be difficult,

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is it? Is it difficult? I'm looking for? This is

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what I'm looking forward to. I'm looking forward to getting

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myself some new glasses, going to the opticians, getting myself

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some new glasses, and then getting back to reading a

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bit more like I used to. That's what I'm looking

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forward to, because I realized, I mean, I do listen

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to a lot of audio books, so technically I am

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reading in a sense, but I yeah, I missed that

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because that used to be part of my identity as

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a child, not just as a child, but as an adult,

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you know, for decades. So reading something that are actually

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physically looking at book reading rather than looking at a

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computer screen. And yeah, so that's what I'm looking forward to,

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which means I need to make an appointment at the

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opticians and get that sorted. But it's just even though

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I do get discounts and stuff decent frames, they are

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quite expensive, and I get a for me, I don't

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care so much about the glasses that I'm reading with

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if I'm at home reading or even well that's the

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only place I would already be reading nowadays. But being out,

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you know, because I'm going to have separate I know,

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it said separate glasses, Separate glasses for reading, separate glasses

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for day to day and maybe even ask if I

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can get some separate glasses for screenwork because I think

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it's been affected my eyes. So I don't care what

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they look like. The ones I use to look at

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a computer, the ones I use to read with, I

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don't care. They can be pink and have little I

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don't know, little fireworks shooting at of them. I don't know.

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It doesn't matter to me. Little windmills, remember those little windmills.

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You get a sea sea fronts on a stick. They

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can have those sticking out. I don't care, because, okay,

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I don't want them to have little windmills, but I

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wouldn't necessarily have that on my normal glasses that I

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was walking around in. But the reason it costs a

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bit for my normal glasses is because I think I'm

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going to be talking about glasses. This is the boring

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objects today. I probably talked about it before, but I'm

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going to do it again. Boring objects glasses. Here we go.

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So I didn't know what I was going to talk about. Now, No,

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I'm going to talk about glasses. So I kind of

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led into it, and I by by discussing classes. So

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I need to have actor like classes because I've got

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a heredity. There's a couple of hereditary things in my

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family on my dad's side. One is prostate stuff, which

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I've so far been okay with got tested with that,

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but three of my family members haven't been or they've

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been affected by it, like, you know, badly affected by it.

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So the other thing I just don't like saying a word,

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to be honest with you, I just don't don't. Yeah,

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And then the other thing is osteoporosis. But that seems

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to be effected in the female side rather than the

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male side. But it can affect I mean it is

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the percentage of male to female. I think it's higher

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for females. I'm going to check that, make sure I'm

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not osteo porosis. Did it? Did it? Did it? Osteoporosis

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female to male to male ratio? Okay, here we go,

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Here we go. So, although female to ratio was three

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was three in several studies from the US, more recent

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data from Canada and Europe indicated that for ratio of

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one four. Oh no, whoa, I think she used to

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do with bone density. Really, it's nothing to do with sex.

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Well maybe it is, but not sex like so, I

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think in the old days it used to be called

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brittle bones. Like my nan had it really bad. And

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I think I think two of my aunties have got

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it so, but she was very old, elderly, my nan.

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She had to take this massive tablet. It's honestly, she

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had to like just suck on it for hours. Is

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it like vitmin d or something. Does she take like

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a calcium tablet you take once once a once a week?

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I think, But so that's another thing. I don't know.

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It was questioned a bit of me because I've had

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00:20:24.799 --> 00:20:27.759
so many breaks, so many broken bones over the last

234
00:20:27.759 --> 00:20:32.200
few years, that maybe there's some density issues. But then

235
00:20:32.400 --> 00:20:34.759
I spoke to my doctor about that because I had

236
00:20:34.799 --> 00:20:38.400
to have a doctor's appointment on the phone, and he said, well,

237
00:20:39.240 --> 00:20:43.720
when you fractured your back falling down the stairs, that

238
00:20:43.839 --> 00:20:46.680
when you fractured your back trying to put your socks on,

239
00:20:47.480 --> 00:20:50.000
I don't think there's anything wrong with your back. Your

240
00:20:50.039 --> 00:20:53.400
back's fine, you know. No, when I fell down the

241
00:20:53.400 --> 00:20:56.640
stairs fractured my back and I had a CT scan.

242
00:20:57.400 --> 00:21:00.920
They we said they should sort of picked up on

243
00:21:01.000 --> 00:21:04.480
that if there were, you know, if there is an

244
00:21:04.519 --> 00:21:06.839
issue with your with your back and with you with

245
00:21:06.920 --> 00:21:11.480
your bones and stuffy, but they were if they're not

246
00:21:11.519 --> 00:21:14.319
looking for it, I don't know, hopefully not. You know,

247
00:21:14.359 --> 00:21:20.759
I'm not bothered but hopefully fine. But the other thing,

248
00:21:21.160 --> 00:21:27.799
let's talk about disease is yeah, no, it's macro degeneration,

249
00:21:28.720 --> 00:21:37.119
which is again it's in the family, which is my

250
00:21:37.240 --> 00:21:43.279
men had it, my dad's got it, which is an

251
00:21:43.279 --> 00:21:49.200
eye an I thing, So macro degeneration, it's an eye

252
00:21:49.200 --> 00:22:00.559
condition or mecula, not macro mecula. Sorry, is a it's

253
00:22:00.599 --> 00:22:07.400
a common idea ie disorder, especially among older dudes adults,

254
00:22:07.519 --> 00:22:11.160
where the central part of the retina, the macula, deteriorates.

255
00:22:11.640 --> 00:22:16.160
So it's kind of a what you're hustling me for?

256
00:22:16.240 --> 00:22:16.559
Vinnie?

257
00:22:17.119 --> 00:22:20.119
What is it? What do you want? He keeps trying

258
00:22:20.119 --> 00:22:23.640
to get into the window sill. Do you promise to

259
00:22:23.680 --> 00:22:25.160
behave if you go into the window sill?

260
00:22:25.599 --> 00:22:25.680
Right?

261
00:22:25.799 --> 00:22:41.839
Go on? Then? So he's gone. I put him. I

262
00:22:41.920 --> 00:22:43.839
told him, I said get out. But what I mean is,

263
00:22:46.160 --> 00:22:50.240
please go through the door. All right. It doesn't Vinnie,

264
00:22:50.279 --> 00:22:53.839
you can. I'm not leaving that door open. But if

265
00:22:53.880 --> 00:22:55.799
you want to go and go into the window sill

266
00:22:55.839 --> 00:22:58.039
in the bedroom, you can. But if you bark, you're

267
00:22:58.039 --> 00:23:03.680
gonna have to come in here. Nothing I do is good.

268
00:23:03.559 --> 00:23:04.720
Enough for him.

269
00:23:05.039 --> 00:23:08.160
It's just not good enough, is it. I don't know

270
00:23:08.160 --> 00:23:11.640
what you want, mate, I can open this window. Is

271
00:23:11.640 --> 00:23:13.640
that what you might from to at?

272
00:23:16.880 --> 00:23:19.519
Oh?

273
00:23:20.160 --> 00:23:20.680
Is that better?

274
00:23:23.279 --> 00:23:27.880
Is that more substantial? You've got a bit more bit

275
00:23:27.920 --> 00:23:29.960
more sun? Is that better for you?

276
00:23:31.640 --> 00:23:31.880
God?

277
00:23:31.880 --> 00:23:39.759
It's constantly moaning. Yes, it's it's just a nice thing.

278
00:23:39.799 --> 00:23:43.279
It's it's dig it's just aging. It's an aging thing.

279
00:23:43.319 --> 00:23:47.359
I think, maybe not always, but it's more common in

280
00:23:49.160 --> 00:23:56.640
more older people. But older could I mean it's I'm

281
00:23:56.680 --> 00:23:59.279
technically in the older group now and I am fifty four.

282
00:24:00.119 --> 00:24:04.200
So my optician did say that it looked like I

283
00:24:04.319 --> 00:24:08.039
might have the beginning of it.

284
00:24:08.200 --> 00:24:10.440
So what they did did? They started? I started having

285
00:24:10.519 --> 00:24:14.599
actor like glasses to sort of protect me from the

286
00:24:14.640 --> 00:24:21.359
sun and sun light and stuff. So I'll continue that.

287
00:24:21.480 --> 00:24:24.480
But it's expensive. It adds some fair bit of money

288
00:24:24.079 --> 00:24:30.960
to the lenses. And I have anti glow as well,

289
00:24:34.119 --> 00:24:36.160
or anti shine, I don't know what the right word,

290
00:24:36.160 --> 00:24:42.119
but yeah, I have that on there and it's like

291
00:24:42.160 --> 00:24:45.599
a coating thing. Although I think they might have actually

292
00:24:45.599 --> 00:24:49.079
come with them last time. I feel I should maybe

293
00:24:49.119 --> 00:24:54.480
make an appointment the opticians. Now, shall I Should I

294
00:24:54.519 --> 00:24:56.920
make an appointment? Should I do it on the phone

295
00:24:56.960 --> 00:25:01.039
so you can hear? But then I don't want to.

296
00:25:02.079 --> 00:25:04.720
I don't know I could day, I can make an

297
00:25:04.759 --> 00:25:14.759
appointment on the phone. So I'm just gonna.

298
00:25:16.119 --> 00:25:16.400
Yeah.

299
00:25:16.519 --> 00:25:20.480
I think reading because the glasses I've got at the moment,

300
00:25:20.640 --> 00:25:24.359
it's got all. It's basically got all three. It's like

301
00:25:24.480 --> 00:25:31.799
three free lenses in one. So the middle is kind

302
00:25:31.799 --> 00:25:35.880
of I think the top the bottom is for reading,

303
00:25:41.480 --> 00:25:45.400
and I think the middle is the middle is for distance,

304
00:25:45.440 --> 00:25:48.960
and I think the top is for my computer. I'm

305
00:25:49.000 --> 00:25:53.680
not sure. Maybe it's only got two. It's a long

306
00:25:53.720 --> 00:25:56.920
time ago. It's been over three years since I last

307
00:25:58.599 --> 00:26:01.240
got my eyes tested. I need to get them tested again.

308
00:26:02.319 --> 00:26:11.400
I do who am I with eyes? Eyes? Not eyes?

309
00:26:11.440 --> 00:26:18.480
Are us eye spotters? Nope? Do you know I was

310
00:26:18.519 --> 00:26:29.440
actually in I was in Iceland, the store, not the country,

311
00:26:29.640 --> 00:26:31.839
and I didn't have a passport at the time, so

312
00:26:32.039 --> 00:26:35.640
the store was the closest I could get to that environment.

313
00:26:36.680 --> 00:26:42.559
And I think I basically there was a little QB

314
00:26:42.720 --> 00:26:47.079
on me. I'd put all my stuff through, and the

315
00:26:51.400 --> 00:26:55.720
I think I'd packed all my bags and the lady

316
00:26:56.559 --> 00:27:02.079
behind the counter, because one knows like lowered counters, I

317
00:27:02.079 --> 00:27:07.039
think it might have had a like all mechanical thing

318
00:27:07.079 --> 00:27:10.519
that pushes along. I forget what they called conveyor conveyor

319
00:27:10.519 --> 00:27:14.200
belt or whatever, and she said, oh, you've forgotten something

320
00:27:14.440 --> 00:27:18.880
that I'm put into the bag. I said, thanks, this lady,

321
00:27:19.519 --> 00:27:23.160
there's this lady. That lady, A lady who was waiting

322
00:27:23.279 --> 00:27:27.000
next to be said, shouted out, should have gone to

323
00:27:27.079 --> 00:27:43.640
spec Shavers. And I thought, really, because bearing in mind,

324
00:27:43.680 --> 00:27:50.039
I was wearing glasses. So you know, it's a disability,

325
00:27:50.079 --> 00:27:53.960
isn't it, you know, eyesight and stuff. I'm not that.

326
00:27:54.039 --> 00:27:59.599
I'm just like, I wasn't upset. Just it's just like, okay,

327
00:28:00.559 --> 00:28:03.440
So if I was troubling, if I was in a

328
00:28:03.440 --> 00:28:07.920
wheelchair struggling to get upper upper ramp, should have gone

329
00:28:07.920 --> 00:28:09.880
to a different weight, should have got a better wheelchair.

330
00:28:11.440 --> 00:28:16.160
Like no, I said, I just it's a human error.

331
00:28:17.000 --> 00:28:19.839
I just didn't see it. How can you see it

332
00:28:19.839 --> 00:28:26.119
as a big pack of cokes? Okay, perhaps I need

333
00:28:26.160 --> 00:28:30.160
to get my ice tested. Perhaps you're right I should

334
00:28:30.160 --> 00:28:34.039
have gone to Specsavers. I do go to Specsavers. I

335
00:28:34.119 --> 00:28:38.599
meant lots of different vets opticians over the years. I

336
00:28:38.640 --> 00:28:42.079
get my luck between them two the looks I get,

337
00:28:44.160 --> 00:28:52.480
and I just I just found it weird. It's one

338
00:28:52.519 --> 00:28:59.160
of those like she wasn't really, I don't know, she

339
00:28:59.279 --> 00:29:02.480
just watched it too much TV. Because it's an advert

340
00:29:02.680 --> 00:29:08.960
should have gone to Specsavers. But it just seems weird

341
00:29:09.000 --> 00:29:13.359
to hear an advert being chucked out in a real

342
00:29:13.480 --> 00:29:20.920
life situation, especially as it's such an old phrase. It's like,

343
00:29:20.960 --> 00:29:25.279
what's thirty years old since I've been having their adverts?

344
00:29:26.000 --> 00:29:34.279
Should have gone to spect things thing, And I'm like, okay,

345
00:29:35.359 --> 00:29:37.440
And I just I didn't know really what to do

346
00:29:37.559 --> 00:29:43.240
or what to say. I just wanted to move on

347
00:29:43.400 --> 00:29:48.400
with my life. I just wanted to just to I

348
00:29:48.400 --> 00:29:50.839
suppose I should have put her down as one of

349
00:29:50.880 --> 00:29:55.279
the people I forgive. I thought I had let it go, man,

350
00:29:55.519 --> 00:30:00.400
let it go. It was fifteen years ago, I know,

351
00:30:00.839 --> 00:30:04.839
I know it was. It was a long time ago.

352
00:30:07.000 --> 00:30:11.680
Fifteen years maybe not fifteen years, probably nine years, eight

353
00:30:11.759 --> 00:30:17.920
years maybe since I've been wearing glasses, so I know, yeah,

354
00:30:17.960 --> 00:30:23.640
i'd been wearing glasses since. Were's the history. Here's the

355
00:30:23.680 --> 00:30:30.880
history of my glasses. I went to I started getting headaches, actually,

356
00:30:30.880 --> 00:30:34.160
that's what it was. When I was about fifteen. It's

357
00:30:34.200 --> 00:30:39.200
about fifteen, and I was getting headaches. So my mummy

358
00:30:39.200 --> 00:30:43.599
took me to the dentist because she was she wasn't

359
00:30:43.599 --> 00:30:47.839
too bright, took me to your doctors. Isn't it weird?

360
00:30:47.880 --> 00:30:49.839
I was fifteen, I was still going to the doctors

361
00:30:49.880 --> 00:30:55.680
with my mummy. That just shows I just wasn't. I didn't.

362
00:30:55.920 --> 00:30:56.200
I just did.

363
00:30:56.319 --> 00:30:59.079
Yeah, I didn't go to the doctors on my own

364
00:31:00.200 --> 00:31:05.559
until I was sixteen. I don't even I don't even

365
00:31:05.599 --> 00:31:10.039
know if that's normal, but I didn't want to go.

366
00:31:10.079 --> 00:31:13.119
I mean, if I'm honest with you, still don't.

367
00:31:14.759 --> 00:31:15.759
Oh what my mama?

368
00:31:16.759 --> 00:31:30.960
Mama and I. The doctor said to me, you've got

369
00:31:32.160 --> 00:31:37.119
looks like it's your eyes, and I said, yeah, I know,

370
00:31:37.119 --> 00:31:38.920
you look at my eyes, so they are my eyes.

371
00:31:39.720 --> 00:31:42.799
He said, no, no, I know they're your eyes. I said, well,

372
00:31:43.319 --> 00:31:45.759
you're looking at my eyes and saying it looks like

373
00:31:45.839 --> 00:31:48.599
it's your eyes. But if you're looking at my hand

374
00:31:49.000 --> 00:31:50.640
and said it looks like your eyes, that would be

375
00:31:50.640 --> 00:31:52.799
won't wouldn't it if my hand looked like my eyes.

376
00:31:53.319 --> 00:31:57.359
But if my eyes or my eyes looked like my hands, yeah, worrying.

377
00:31:57.839 --> 00:32:00.960
But if my eyes looked like my eyes, then that's normal,

378
00:32:01.000 --> 00:32:06.240
isn't it. He looked at my mum and she just

379
00:32:06.240 --> 00:32:10.400
shook her head as well. She said, I've had nine

380
00:32:10.480 --> 00:32:14.640
years of this. He said really, He said, yeah, nine years,

381
00:32:15.519 --> 00:32:17.599
so that coming. He's fifteen, while I've had since he

382
00:32:17.720 --> 00:32:22.559
was seven. Okay, it must be hard work, she said,

383
00:32:22.680 --> 00:32:24.960
don't matter. I found a way to escape from him.

384
00:32:25.240 --> 00:32:29.000
I'm moving away. You haven't told him yet. I'm moving away. Oh,

385
00:32:29.039 --> 00:32:33.559
it's going to be so lovely. I'm like, I'm right here,

386
00:32:33.680 --> 00:32:36.319
I can hear what you're saying. It's my eyes that

387
00:32:36.440 --> 00:32:39.839
the problem, not mears. And the doctor said, you are

388
00:32:40.079 --> 00:32:42.559
with them ears. I'm surprised you can't. There's nothing you

389
00:32:42.599 --> 00:32:48.079
can't hear. And they laughed, that's rude. Can't make fun

390
00:32:48.119 --> 00:32:50.599
of them. The size of my ears, he said, the

391
00:32:50.640 --> 00:32:52.920
size of your ears. The only reason no one mentions

392
00:32:52.960 --> 00:32:55.279
your is because your nose is so big. No one

393
00:32:55.279 --> 00:33:01.839
even notices your ears are massive. Wow. And I'm thinking,

394
00:33:02.319 --> 00:33:05.799
you're supposed to be my doctor. And he said, no,

395
00:33:06.640 --> 00:33:09.119
let me tell you something, Jason, I'm not your doctor.

396
00:33:09.200 --> 00:33:13.079
I'm your mum's doctor. She brings me, She brings you

397
00:33:13.160 --> 00:33:18.599
to me. When she moves away, I won't be seeing

398
00:33:18.599 --> 00:33:21.319
you again. You're gonna have to get your own doctor.

399
00:33:22.440 --> 00:33:25.160
I'm just seeing you as a favor to her. No

400
00:33:25.240 --> 00:33:29.240
one in this town wants to see you. It's like, wow,

401
00:33:29.359 --> 00:33:34.440
this is this is getting, this is getting why, he says,

402
00:33:34.480 --> 00:33:38.480
why all you do is fart everywhere you go? As

403
00:33:38.599 --> 00:33:42.599
far You're known famous in this town for farting everywhere

404
00:33:42.599 --> 00:33:45.279
you go, far far far far far far far far.

405
00:33:47.880 --> 00:33:50.799
You know how expensive it is to have to fumigate

406
00:33:51.279 --> 00:33:55.039
the entire doctor's surgery every time you walk past.

407
00:33:58.359 --> 00:33:59.279
What this is?

408
00:33:59.559 --> 00:34:01.160
Where is it all coming from?

409
00:34:01.680 --> 00:34:01.839
Well?

410
00:34:01.880 --> 00:34:09.199
Your bum apparently? Okay, I just wanted to a headache,

411
00:34:09.239 --> 00:34:11.280
I sall, I just wanted to get Jack checked out.

412
00:34:11.920 --> 00:34:15.800
He said, yeah, and luckily you can now go and

413
00:34:16.519 --> 00:34:21.559
see an opticians. He's a number three opticians. Go and

414
00:34:21.559 --> 00:34:24.760
make an appointment with opticians. So you're talking to me,

415
00:34:24.800 --> 00:34:26.440
he said, no, I'm not talking to you and talking

416
00:34:26.480 --> 00:34:30.719
to her. If you can go and make an opticians appointment,

417
00:34:31.360 --> 00:34:38.000
because I think it's his eyes, that's okay. So I

418
00:34:38.039 --> 00:34:45.599
go to the opticians and they this is a weird one. See.

419
00:34:45.840 --> 00:34:47.719
No one ever told me this apparently had a won

420
00:34:47.800 --> 00:34:52.400
key eye. Maybe I still do and no one tells me.

421
00:34:53.440 --> 00:34:56.480
But he said, I see again. I don't know if

422
00:34:56.519 --> 00:34:59.119
he was just friends with the doctors, and he thought

423
00:34:59.400 --> 00:35:03.400
the doctor said, just wind him up. You know you're

424
00:35:03.440 --> 00:35:05.239
going to meet for the first time. You're going to

425
00:35:05.280 --> 00:35:08.119
think lovely kid. But then he's going to let one

426
00:35:08.159 --> 00:35:10.719
go and it's going to stink the whole building out.

427
00:35:11.679 --> 00:35:15.480
So get in there first, make fun of him, do

428
00:35:15.599 --> 00:35:18.960
something like that, really get his self esteem down. It's okay,

429
00:35:19.800 --> 00:35:25.239
So I think that's what happened, but that this is

430
00:35:25.239 --> 00:35:28.440
what happened in the very first opticians I've ever been to.

431
00:35:30.519 --> 00:35:37.920
He said to me, right, you need glasses. I've realized

432
00:35:37.920 --> 00:35:41.960
over the years. I think that's the first thing people

433
00:35:42.039 --> 00:35:45.840
learn in optician college. It's the first thing I learn

434
00:35:45.960 --> 00:35:49.800
is you need glass Everyone, well, come to your first

435
00:35:49.880 --> 00:35:52.679
day of learning to be an optician. Now repeat after me,

436
00:35:53.280 --> 00:35:57.719
you need glasses. What do you mean? No, just everyone, repeat,

437
00:35:58.119 --> 00:36:06.280
you need glasses or you need new glasses. That's what

438
00:36:06.320 --> 00:36:08.360
you're going to have to say to every single person

439
00:36:08.400 --> 00:36:12.119
you see from now onwards. So when you're a professional,

440
00:36:12.199 --> 00:36:16.199
when you're all qualified, whether they've already got glasses or

441
00:36:16.199 --> 00:36:19.360
whether they haven't got glasses, you need glasses or you

442
00:36:19.440 --> 00:36:27.440
need new glasses. What if they don't need them, get out,

443
00:36:28.000 --> 00:36:36.719
get out. No, no, no, I've never ever ever known

444
00:36:37.400 --> 00:36:39.840
an oppetition to tell me that I didn't need glasses ever.

445
00:36:43.360 --> 00:36:48.840
I think that's it's just like what they're taught. So

446
00:36:48.880 --> 00:36:51.320
I went along. I didn't realize this at the time.

447
00:36:51.960 --> 00:36:53.559
I mean I did need glass I think I did,

448
00:36:53.559 --> 00:36:57.280
but I don't. I mean, I don't personally think I

449
00:36:57.320 --> 00:36:59.559
needed them all the time, but they He said, you

450
00:36:59.599 --> 00:37:04.039
need them all time. He definitely them for reading. So

451
00:37:04.400 --> 00:37:08.639
he gave me. I think he gave me different glasses

452
00:37:08.679 --> 00:37:17.079
for reading, or did he I'm not sure, but he

453
00:37:17.119 --> 00:37:20.280
gave me glasses. Now, I'm not sure if I needed Oh,

454
00:37:20.360 --> 00:37:23.760
he gave me glasses. Anyway, it's such a long time ago.

455
00:37:24.360 --> 00:37:26.400
I might have had two pairs, one for reading, one

456
00:37:26.440 --> 00:37:30.119
for you know, day to day. Just get a bit

457
00:37:30.159 --> 00:37:32.960
of extra money out of me. Well, I say out

458
00:37:32.960 --> 00:37:36.320
of me. I didn't pay for it. My mama paid

459
00:37:36.360 --> 00:37:44.360
for it, and she yeah, So it was weird. He said.

460
00:37:44.400 --> 00:37:47.119
This dentist said to me, you got a one KEI,

461
00:37:48.599 --> 00:37:50.360
I said, you got bad breath. You know, we've all

462
00:37:50.360 --> 00:37:56.400
got that wrong with us, he said. He came up

463
00:37:56.440 --> 00:37:59.360
to me, he said, missus Newland, do you want to

464
00:37:59.440 --> 00:38:02.599
pop out the room for a minute. She said why.

465
00:38:02.840 --> 00:38:05.760
He said, I just want to just I just want

466
00:38:05.800 --> 00:38:09.199
to punch your son. She said, really, you're going to

467
00:38:09.239 --> 00:38:12.679
punch him, she said. He said yeah. She said, okay, right,

468
00:38:12.719 --> 00:38:15.480
and I want me to wait outside for I'm like,

469
00:38:15.559 --> 00:38:20.559
wait a minute, excuse me, I'm fifteen. You know just

470
00:38:20.599 --> 00:38:24.199
what you're doing. Anyway, nothing bad happened in the end.

471
00:38:24.639 --> 00:38:32.119
They calmed down and I said, what do you mean

472
00:38:32.480 --> 00:38:36.559
I've got a one key? I because I didn't really

473
00:38:36.639 --> 00:38:45.239
know what it meant. He said, well, okay, see I'm

474
00:38:45.280 --> 00:38:50.760
over here, right, and your right arm is looking over that.

475
00:38:50.960 --> 00:38:55.920
Your right arm, you're right, and well it was a

476
00:38:55.960 --> 00:38:58.960
funny moment. He really it cut through the tension, to

477
00:38:58.960 --> 00:39:01.840
be fair, said, I didn't mean you're right your right

478
00:39:01.920 --> 00:39:09.760
arm and you're so you're left. I is looking at me.

479
00:39:10.880 --> 00:39:14.840
Your right eye is looking through the window the other

480
00:39:14.920 --> 00:39:22.400
side of the room. I said, well, so, I mean

481
00:39:22.400 --> 00:39:25.199
that's quite a good thing. It's a safe thing to do.

482
00:39:25.239 --> 00:39:28.960
Isn't it be able to see three hundred and sixty degrees?

483
00:39:29.480 --> 00:39:36.199
That's quite a useful superpower. He said, yeah. If your

484
00:39:36.239 --> 00:39:38.519
eyes were at the side of your head, it would be.

485
00:39:39.000 --> 00:39:42.559
But they're not. They're both at the front of your head.

486
00:39:44.360 --> 00:39:49.480
So like, okay, so I've got a wonky eye. I said,

487
00:39:49.519 --> 00:39:53.039
which one is it? He said, it doesn't matter. I said,

488
00:39:53.039 --> 00:39:56.679
what do you mean it doesn't matter? He said, look

489
00:39:57.719 --> 00:39:59.519
for the sake of the podcast that you're going to

490
00:39:59.559 --> 00:40:07.360
be doing in forty years time, you won't even remember

491
00:40:07.440 --> 00:40:12.039
which I it was, So there's no point even remembering it.

492
00:40:13.079 --> 00:40:14.960
You can make one up. You can say right or left.

493
00:40:15.000 --> 00:40:21.280
There are two choices, really, but it doesn't matter. Yeah,

494
00:40:21.280 --> 00:40:24.800
it's gonna matter for now, isn't it. You know, Okay,

495
00:40:24.840 --> 00:40:26.880
it's not gonna matter in forty years time when I

496
00:40:26.920 --> 00:40:32.280
do the podcast, but it's it's going to matter now

497
00:40:32.480 --> 00:40:38.440
because this is now. This is nineteen ninety six or

498
00:40:39.480 --> 00:40:43.599
eighty five, eighty six, whatever year it was. And he said,

499
00:40:44.880 --> 00:40:48.000
you really don't know what year it is. At fifteen,

500
00:40:48.000 --> 00:40:51.000
you should know the year you're in. I said, come on,

501
00:40:51.079 --> 00:40:55.639
start having to go at me. And then I fighted

502
00:40:56.840 --> 00:41:03.039
and he changed his attitude. I think he was shocked.

503
00:41:04.480 --> 00:41:06.760
But anyway, what happened in the end, I was given

504
00:41:07.039 --> 00:41:11.880
a patch to wear. I think he was just making

505
00:41:11.920 --> 00:41:19.920
fun of me. He had me wearing a patch, and

506
00:41:20.360 --> 00:41:22.400
not only was it a patch. It was a pink patch,

507
00:41:23.800 --> 00:41:26.400
so I think somewhere along the line they were just

508
00:41:26.440 --> 00:41:29.960
winding me up. So I had to wear a patch

509
00:41:30.000 --> 00:41:34.559
over one eye, the normal eye, well was the one

510
00:41:34.559 --> 00:41:37.679
that wasn't one key, in order to get the other

511
00:41:37.800 --> 00:41:47.360
eye back to being where it should be. And I

512
00:41:47.360 --> 00:41:49.880
had to do these exercises where I'd look at a

513
00:41:49.920 --> 00:41:53.000
pencil with the patch on it and I would just

514
00:41:53.119 --> 00:41:56.960
practice these exercises of following it. I feel I might

515
00:41:56.960 --> 00:41:58.000
have to do it with the other eye as well.

516
00:41:58.039 --> 00:42:08.760
I can't remember. And I went to school, see, I

517
00:42:08.800 --> 00:42:14.559
think I might have worn a patch at school as well.

518
00:42:14.559 --> 00:42:16.320
I don't think. I think I had to wear the

519
00:42:16.360 --> 00:42:19.480
patch at home, or you know, I didn't have to

520
00:42:19.480 --> 00:42:22.519
wear the patch when I went out, I think, but

521
00:42:22.559 --> 00:42:27.159
I had to wear the patch at home, but I

522
00:42:27.199 --> 00:42:29.599
had glasses to wear at school, so you know, bearing

523
00:42:29.559 --> 00:42:36.039
in mind, I was fifteen last year as school. Probably

524
00:42:37.239 --> 00:42:41.079
either the end of the year nineteen eighty nineteen eighty

525
00:42:41.159 --> 00:42:45.840
five or the beginning of nineteen eighty six is around

526
00:42:45.920 --> 00:42:56.280
that kind of time. Yeah, around that time, and I

527
00:42:56.440 --> 00:42:59.440
so I wore glasses for the very first time, and

528
00:42:59.440 --> 00:43:07.280
I'm walking in walking to school, even people I'd never

529
00:43:07.400 --> 00:43:13.519
spoken to were making fun of me. People that didn't

530
00:43:13.679 --> 00:43:17.880
even notice me in the past were laughing at me.

531
00:43:21.039 --> 00:43:24.400
It was absolutely ridiculous. I mean, I thought maybe a

532
00:43:24.440 --> 00:43:29.239
little bit of ribbon, but you'd have thought i'd have

533
00:43:29.280 --> 00:43:36.360
walked in with like a I don't know, a pizza

534
00:43:36.480 --> 00:43:38.719
on my head or something like that. The way everyone

535
00:43:38.840 --> 00:43:46.519
was like, oh, look that that is wearing. It's wearing glasses.

536
00:43:50.159 --> 00:43:52.119
And it got to the point where I took them

537
00:43:52.119 --> 00:43:57.559
off because I didn't enjoy it. If I'm honest, I

538
00:43:57.639 --> 00:43:59.679
might have enjoyed it a little bit, like my friend's

539
00:43:59.679 --> 00:44:03.679
a bit of ribbing, like Okay, it's cool, but then

540
00:44:03.719 --> 00:44:10.079
it goes on a bit too long and I still

541
00:44:10.079 --> 00:44:13.199
get phone calls even, you know, got a phone call

542
00:44:13.280 --> 00:44:17.079
last night for someone from school, just randomly. They said,

543
00:44:17.280 --> 00:44:20.519
you right, goggles and I hung up. It's like, come on,

544
00:44:22.440 --> 00:44:29.840
so I didn't. I didn't. I thought it was right

545
00:44:29.880 --> 00:44:31.960
to wear glasses. I didn't really have an issue with it,

546
00:44:35.199 --> 00:44:37.239
but other people seem to have an issue with it.

547
00:44:38.719 --> 00:44:46.360
So I took them off. And I did wear them

548
00:44:46.559 --> 00:44:54.760
because I remember wearing them just before I left school,

549
00:44:55.039 --> 00:44:59.880
So I'm thinking it might have been nineteen eighty six.

550
00:45:00.599 --> 00:45:05.519
So I left school in April March April time, nineteen

551
00:45:05.559 --> 00:45:09.000
eighty six, so it might have been that period leading

552
00:45:09.079 --> 00:45:11.840
up because I got the chip shop shop, the chip

553
00:45:12.000 --> 00:45:16.599
shop job before I left school. I just remembered, this,

554
00:45:17.039 --> 00:45:21.000
isn't it weird? I got the chip shop job before

555
00:45:21.039 --> 00:45:27.800
I left school, and I worked on a Saturday and

556
00:45:27.920 --> 00:45:31.880
maybe a couple of evenings, and then when I left school,

557
00:45:31.920 --> 00:45:39.559
I went full time, and then the September nineteen eighty six,

558
00:45:40.280 --> 00:45:44.559
I went onto the YTS. So when I was full time,

559
00:45:44.599 --> 00:45:47.519
I was then in sixty pird a week, which is

560
00:45:47.559 --> 00:45:51.480
more than I've ever had who were like, yeah, never

561
00:45:51.519 --> 00:45:57.639
had sixty pounds a week cash. You know, I was

562
00:45:57.679 --> 00:46:00.920
still at school, and I wasn't still this was technically

563
00:46:01.239 --> 00:46:04.079
still at school, as in I had to go and

564
00:46:04.119 --> 00:46:07.400
do my exams, at least I thought I did. I

565
00:46:07.400 --> 00:46:09.960
didn't realize I didn't have to do anything, because once

566
00:46:10.000 --> 00:46:11.559
you leave school, you don't have to do any you know.

567
00:46:11.760 --> 00:46:15.400
I didn't have to go do my exams. There was

568
00:46:15.480 --> 00:46:21.400
no consequence for not doing them. And it was kind

569
00:46:21.400 --> 00:46:24.000
of weird because but I was still in that zone

570
00:46:24.039 --> 00:46:29.639
of being told what to do by schools, you know,

571
00:46:29.760 --> 00:46:33.360
that kind of I remember right before I left school,

572
00:46:34.639 --> 00:46:38.679
there was this deputy head teacher. I'd never had a

573
00:46:38.760 --> 00:46:43.760
run in with him ever, but for some reason, and

574
00:46:43.840 --> 00:46:47.400
this was the last week of school, he decided to

575
00:46:47.400 --> 00:46:49.519
have a go at me and he came up to

576
00:46:49.559 --> 00:46:54.639
me and he started shouting in my face about something.

577
00:46:55.440 --> 00:46:58.599
I don't know what it was. He was uhould teach French,

578
00:46:59.400 --> 00:47:05.679
so I didn't always understand what he was saying. I

579
00:47:05.719 --> 00:47:08.840
think he sometimes he forgot go in and out of French.

580
00:47:09.679 --> 00:47:12.360
And it was a deputy head and he was known

581
00:47:12.400 --> 00:47:17.760
for being really strict, and he was just chatting in

582
00:47:17.800 --> 00:47:22.360
my face, and I went from being oh, you know,

583
00:47:22.800 --> 00:47:27.079
like to remember him. I only had three days left

584
00:47:27.079 --> 00:47:30.960
to school, and I just started laughing at him. I

585
00:47:31.079 --> 00:47:35.159
just walked off, like what are you gonna do? Literally,

586
00:47:35.199 --> 00:47:40.800
it's nothing. It's like, yeah, I could walk out of

587
00:47:40.840 --> 00:47:43.400
school now and it would make no difference. I'm just

588
00:47:43.440 --> 00:47:47.440
sticking around because it's like the last three days. Just

589
00:47:47.440 --> 00:47:50.719
to say goodbye to people I've been at school with

590
00:47:50.840 --> 00:47:57.000
for years, that's all it was. It wasn't say goodbye

591
00:47:57.079 --> 00:47:59.599
to some of the kids in the younger years that

592
00:47:59.679 --> 00:48:01.719
I was friends with that I wasn't going to see

593
00:48:02.840 --> 00:48:09.239
regularly anymore, or even the ones in the older years actually,

594
00:48:09.239 --> 00:48:12.039
because they had a levels back then, so there was

595
00:48:14.639 --> 00:48:17.960
some of my karate friends were in the higher levels

596
00:48:18.000 --> 00:48:21.800
as well. I remember just like he.

597
00:48:21.880 --> 00:48:22.920
Was shit.

598
00:48:24.519 --> 00:48:28.559
Like okay. But then there was another weird thing happened

599
00:48:28.599 --> 00:48:31.239
and I still to this day don't know what happened,

600
00:48:31.480 --> 00:48:34.920
why happened. But I went into my classroom. This is

601
00:48:35.000 --> 00:48:40.360
my my the room that we went to first thing

602
00:48:40.400 --> 00:48:42.239
in the morning, we stayed in at breaks if we

603
00:48:42.280 --> 00:48:44.480
wanted to, and then would go in there at the

604
00:48:44.559 --> 00:48:47.599
end of the day and you do the register. So

605
00:48:47.639 --> 00:48:49.599
it was my form room. That's sort of they used

606
00:48:49.599 --> 00:48:52.119
to call it, isn't it. So it was my classroom

607
00:48:52.159 --> 00:48:54.559
for the entire year, and I had the same one

608
00:48:54.599 --> 00:48:59.159
for about three years in a row. I think, So

609
00:48:59.199 --> 00:49:01.800
I'm in there, I go in there the last day.

610
00:49:02.239 --> 00:49:04.760
This is somewhere that I spend a fair bit of

611
00:49:04.800 --> 00:49:07.599
time on the time, in the time so that I

612
00:49:07.599 --> 00:49:09.559
didn't want to go out or do anything. I wanted

613
00:49:09.559 --> 00:49:12.599
to be on my own. I'd go in there and

614
00:49:12.679 --> 00:49:14.800
there's be a color of us maybe just sitting on

615
00:49:14.840 --> 00:49:21.039
our own, just doing our own thing, you know. So

616
00:49:21.079 --> 00:49:22.519
I went in there and there was a couple of

617
00:49:22.840 --> 00:49:26.920
There was three kids, all three that didn't really know

618
00:49:27.079 --> 00:49:31.360
very well that I didn't really they weren't from that

619
00:49:31.920 --> 00:49:35.440
they weren't even in their class, and they were just

620
00:49:35.480 --> 00:49:40.119
in there and they were playing some song. I remember.

621
00:49:40.159 --> 00:49:44.440
It was something that was it don't think nothing, then

622
00:49:44.480 --> 00:49:49.079
your chicks for free, I own nothing. Whatever that song

623
00:49:49.199 --> 00:49:53.840
is direstraate, is it? And like I went in there,

624
00:49:54.360 --> 00:49:57.159
I must have said something to annoy someone. I don't

625
00:49:57.159 --> 00:50:01.800
know what, but something started on me and he was

626
00:50:01.880 --> 00:50:06.159
kicking me in the shins. I'm like, but it was surprised,

627
00:50:06.159 --> 00:50:08.239
Like I didn't know because he was I think this

628
00:50:08.280 --> 00:50:11.000
one was a judo man. We used to talk. Yeah,

629
00:50:11.000 --> 00:50:14.519
I didn't know him a little bit, and you know,

630
00:50:14.519 --> 00:50:17.000
I was interested because he did judo. I did karate,

631
00:50:17.199 --> 00:50:20.239
and you know he was I think he was more

632
00:50:20.239 --> 00:50:22.599
advanced than me. He'd been doing judo a long time.

633
00:50:23.519 --> 00:50:26.280
But for some reason, you know, I kind of had

634
00:50:26.280 --> 00:50:29.760
that mutual respect for him because we were both doing something.

635
00:50:29.800 --> 00:50:32.840
We both kind of understood what it was like to

636
00:50:32.880 --> 00:50:37.480
be passionate about a martial arts, you know, and he

637
00:50:37.519 --> 00:50:40.119
probably went through exactly the same thing of watching all

638
00:50:40.159 --> 00:50:44.159
the Bruce Lee movies and watching all the you know,

639
00:50:44.280 --> 00:50:46.519
all the kung fu movies and stuff, because that's just

640
00:50:46.639 --> 00:50:50.000
natural for anyone that does martial arts, especially when they're

641
00:50:50.000 --> 00:50:54.039
a kid. But he actually just kicked me in the

642
00:50:54.079 --> 00:50:59.159
shins and closed the door, slanting the door on me.

643
00:50:59.320 --> 00:51:04.599
Didn't want me in the class room, like, and I

644
00:51:04.679 --> 00:51:07.639
just I didn't understand. There was no one else around.

645
00:51:08.920 --> 00:51:10.639
I don't know where everyone else was. I think that

646
00:51:10.719 --> 00:51:17.159
was the very last day that I was there, and

647
00:51:17.199 --> 00:51:20.119
I was just like, I really didn't know. It's like

648
00:51:20.760 --> 00:51:23.800
to this day, I still not that it doesn't matter why,

649
00:51:23.880 --> 00:51:26.519
but it still bugged me, Like doesn't bug me now,

650
00:51:26.559 --> 00:51:29.440
but it bugged me for a long time. I never

651
00:51:29.480 --> 00:51:33.599
saw the kid again. Don't think I saw any of

652
00:51:33.599 --> 00:51:43.079
them again, and I didn't know why. And it was

653
00:51:43.119 --> 00:51:45.920
such a shock. I didn't get angry I did this.

654
00:51:46.039 --> 00:51:52.000
I was just confused. It didn't hurt. Well, probably a

655
00:51:52.000 --> 00:51:54.079
little bit, but it wasn't like they weren't. It wasn't

656
00:51:54.119 --> 00:51:57.079
like he was punching me or anything, but like, you're

657
00:51:57.159 --> 00:51:59.400
kicking me in the shins, the hell are you doing?

658
00:52:03.480 --> 00:52:06.400
And yeah, that's weird. That's just a really weird ending

659
00:52:06.440 --> 00:52:15.559
to being being at school unless I was in the

660
00:52:15.599 --> 00:52:19.519
other I might be maybe I was in the wrong room.

661
00:52:19.880 --> 00:52:24.039
Wait a minute, was that my school? I think it

662
00:52:24.119 --> 00:52:27.639
was my school? No me, I might have just gone

663
00:52:27.639 --> 00:52:30.760
into the wrong school and into some random classroom and

664
00:52:30.920 --> 00:52:37.159
sat down and maybe that annoyed them. It's possible. So

665
00:52:40.039 --> 00:52:43.960
there's one, really quite a vivid memory I had when

666
00:52:43.960 --> 00:52:47.920
I first got my classes. Boys too. Actually, my little

667
00:52:47.920 --> 00:52:54.960
brother he was old enough to be really annoying, really annoying,

668
00:52:55.039 --> 00:52:58.719
and he kept coming up to me and putting his

669
00:52:59.480 --> 00:53:02.639
putting his finger and thumb together to make some little

670
00:53:02.960 --> 00:53:06.719
glasses and he'd like, get right ploset to me and

671
00:53:06.800 --> 00:53:10.000
look look through them, he said, can you see me?

672
00:53:12.440 --> 00:53:14.400
I mean he was like seven, I suppose at the time,

673
00:53:14.960 --> 00:53:20.280
And yeah, it was funny to start with, but he

674
00:53:20.400 --> 00:53:25.400
kept doing it, and he'd just like pick random objects up.

675
00:53:25.480 --> 00:53:31.679
Can you see this? That is quite funny when you

676
00:53:31.679 --> 00:53:34.599
think about it. But he just kept doing it. Just

677
00:53:34.840 --> 00:53:39.840
it'd be random, and like we was all watching TV.

678
00:53:39.960 --> 00:53:42.800
I think we were watching I say all of us.

679
00:53:42.880 --> 00:53:45.000
At that point, the family was a little bit split.

680
00:53:45.400 --> 00:53:47.360
One of my brothers had moved out. I think maybe

681
00:53:47.400 --> 00:53:48.880
the other one had moved out as well, so it

682
00:53:48.880 --> 00:53:54.440
was only really me and my little brother potentially at

683
00:53:54.480 --> 00:53:58.719
that time, and my little brother. I think we're just

684
00:53:58.760 --> 00:54:02.559
watching TV. My little brother gets up stands by a

685
00:54:02.599 --> 00:54:10.000
television and says, can you see this? Like it amused

686
00:54:10.039 --> 00:54:15.360
the family, Come on, leave me alone. I'm wearing glasses.

687
00:54:16.320 --> 00:54:20.840
It's not something to make fun of. And my dad

688
00:54:20.960 --> 00:54:27.000
was leave him alone. He's only seven. I said, who

689
00:54:27.039 --> 00:54:30.320
is He said, your brother? I said, oh, I know,

690
00:54:30.480 --> 00:54:33.760
I know he's only seven. And then then my dad

691
00:54:33.800 --> 00:54:36.760
said he's sitting over there. I said, I know where

692
00:54:36.760 --> 00:54:40.320
he's sitting. I can see where he was doing it. Now, like,

693
00:54:40.400 --> 00:54:43.880
can you see where it is? He asked me to

694
00:54:43.880 --> 00:54:50.119
watch his van. I said, okay. He said it's on

695
00:54:50.159 --> 00:54:53.400
the driveway. I said, and it's a van. I'm not

696
00:54:53.400 --> 00:54:57.280
going to not know where it is. It's like it's

697
00:54:59.400 --> 00:55:01.400
so I don't know who started doing it, my dad

698
00:55:01.480 --> 00:55:06.480
or my little brother. Then I started getting a little

699
00:55:06.480 --> 00:55:09.679
bit touchy, because you know, some people do that they

700
00:55:09.719 --> 00:55:14.320
show you something, and I started to get a little

701
00:55:14.360 --> 00:55:22.480
bit oversensitive. Maybe we were the air show and I

702
00:55:22.519 --> 00:55:25.760
remember my auntie saying, oh that the red the red

703
00:55:25.840 --> 00:55:27.880
arrows are coming soon. So we're all waiting for the

704
00:55:27.920 --> 00:55:31.079
Red Arrows, but there's loads of other planes as well,

705
00:55:33.559 --> 00:55:37.159
and my Auntie said, the Red Arrows are coming. I said, okay,

706
00:55:37.480 --> 00:55:40.760
she said they're there. I was like, there they are. Look,

707
00:55:41.119 --> 00:55:43.840
I said, I can see. I do have eyes.

708
00:55:43.920 --> 00:55:44.119
You know.

709
00:55:45.760 --> 00:55:48.440
She wasn't being rude. She was just pointing where they were,

710
00:55:49.159 --> 00:55:52.000
and the fact is I couldn't see where they were.

711
00:55:52.400 --> 00:55:55.320
So I'm glad that she told me. It wasn't really

712
00:55:55.559 --> 00:55:58.440
you know, I only got hit by a car once

713
00:55:58.519 --> 00:56:01.159
because I was ignored someone that was telling me that

714
00:56:01.239 --> 00:56:05.280
the car was coming towards me because it annoyed me.

715
00:56:05.960 --> 00:56:10.280
So I'm walking across a zebra crossing and someone showing, wait, look,

716
00:56:10.320 --> 00:56:12.880
look is a car coming. It's not stopping because it

717
00:56:12.920 --> 00:56:15.559
was speeding and maybe I think police were after it

718
00:56:15.639 --> 00:56:19.840
or something, and I'm like, can't you see it? Look like,

719
00:56:20.320 --> 00:56:23.440
shut up, I've got glasses. They're just glasses. And then

720
00:56:23.440 --> 00:56:24.880
I look over and I have to sort of jump

721
00:56:24.960 --> 00:56:30.119
out the way. Another time, I'm talking to a friend

722
00:56:30.239 --> 00:56:33.920
from karate and he's he's an adult, so he's working

723
00:56:34.000 --> 00:56:37.880
up above Tesco's in a shipping office. So I'm just

724
00:56:37.960 --> 00:56:40.039
looking at really high build and I'm just waving to

725
00:56:40.119 --> 00:56:43.280
him because staying alone, you know, because I was just

726
00:56:43.400 --> 00:56:48.079
on my way home, and he started shouting look, look

727
00:56:49.000 --> 00:56:51.880
and pointing behind me. I was like, oh, you don't

728
00:56:51.920 --> 00:56:54.719
start now, come on, we're getting on so well, why

729
00:56:54.719 --> 00:56:58.079
have you got a start? It's bad enough it's at home,

730
00:56:58.159 --> 00:57:02.920
it's a school. Now it's karate people doing it. And

731
00:57:02.920 --> 00:57:06.960
he's like, well. It turned out it was a van

732
00:57:07.039 --> 00:57:13.960
backing and it bumped into me. Luckily it wasn't going fast,

733
00:57:14.320 --> 00:57:15.840
but it was back in study, you know, when I

734
00:57:15.880 --> 00:57:18.519
go do do do do do? Like that, it was

735
00:57:18.559 --> 00:57:21.840
making a sound, but I didn't wasn't listening because I

736
00:57:21.840 --> 00:57:24.159
was focusing on what I was what I was talking about,

737
00:57:24.199 --> 00:57:28.000
and probably when he was talking, I was focusing on

738
00:57:28.000 --> 00:57:29.559
what I was going to say next. So I wasn't

739
00:57:29.599 --> 00:57:32.719
really listening to what he was saying. But when he

740
00:57:32.760 --> 00:57:36.159
started pointing, hey, look, look like, I really took offence

741
00:57:37.440 --> 00:57:43.119
stopped saying, look like, I can't see anything. Yeah, So

742
00:57:43.159 --> 00:57:46.159
I had a band a van back over me, but

743
00:57:46.280 --> 00:57:49.320
luckily it just hit my back and knocked me, kind

744
00:57:49.320 --> 00:57:51.400
of knocked me out the way, but it wasn't moving

745
00:57:51.440 --> 00:57:59.639
particularly fast. But one of my memories of wearing glasses

746
00:57:59.679 --> 00:58:05.440
when I first got them, and this is just explain

747
00:58:05.559 --> 00:58:10.239
how I was. I've always been like this. This was

748
00:58:10.559 --> 00:58:18.719
a it was one of them days, one of them

749
00:58:18.840 --> 00:58:24.440
days where I had to get away. I had to

750
00:58:24.519 --> 00:58:29.960
remove myself from the situation. I had to be on

751
00:58:30.039 --> 00:58:34.639
my own. I was semi running away cat to.

752
00:58:34.599 --> 00:58:35.199
Be on my own.

753
00:58:35.239 --> 00:58:38.840
It was one of them things. And I walked to

754
00:58:38.920 --> 00:58:46.639
the next town on my own, wearing my glasses, and

755
00:58:46.800 --> 00:58:48.679
I just followed the bus route so I could get

756
00:58:48.679 --> 00:58:52.079
back again, which was actually quick. It was a much

757
00:58:52.119 --> 00:58:54.880
longer route actually, but it meant I knew how to

758
00:58:54.880 --> 00:59:04.400
get back. So it took me probably five hours to

759
00:59:04.480 --> 00:59:09.199
get there, and I maybe seven hours. I think I

760
00:59:09.280 --> 00:59:15.199
might just got the bus back, but it was a

761
00:59:15.280 --> 00:59:21.039
sunny day probably I'm saying. I'm thinking maybe April time,

762
00:59:22.880 --> 00:59:37.039
just after leaving school, possibly on a weekday, and I

763
00:59:37.039 --> 00:59:39.280
I mean, technically it's probably not a good idea, but

764
00:59:39.599 --> 00:59:42.159
I was walking at the side of the road on

765
00:59:42.280 --> 00:59:45.760
the grass verge. There wasn't any pavements most of the

766
00:59:45.840 --> 00:59:49.199
journey because once we got out of the town, a

767
00:59:49.199 --> 00:59:52.920
lot of countryside between or in England's huge amounts of

768
00:59:52.920 --> 00:59:58.920
countryside surrounding everywhere, every town, every village, every city, it's

769
00:59:58.920 --> 01:00:03.559
the countryside. So I'm just following the route. I've done

770
01:00:03.599 --> 01:00:09.480
the route many times, many times, I've I've done the

771
01:00:09.599 --> 01:00:12.880
route a few times. I hadn't really gotten a bust

772
01:00:12.920 --> 01:00:16.280
that many times as a kid on my own, well,

773
01:00:16.280 --> 01:00:17.599
I den'tinite I ever went on my own. I was

774
01:00:17.599 --> 01:00:21.559
also with her friend. So yeah, so I'm walking and

775
01:00:21.840 --> 01:00:31.039
it was very peaceful, very meditative, very I don't know.

776
01:00:31.599 --> 01:00:36.119
I was just thinking about things and a real, real

777
01:00:36.159 --> 01:00:41.199
good think, real good. It was like a separation from

778
01:00:42.000 --> 01:00:52.239
all the stuff that was going on, and it felt nice.

779
01:00:53.039 --> 01:00:57.119
I was hungry, though, but it felt nice. So it

780
01:00:57.159 --> 01:01:00.320
took me six six to seven hours walking in it

781
01:01:01.400 --> 01:01:05.159
and probably got blisters and all that stuff, but got

782
01:01:05.159 --> 01:01:09.960
the bus home. No one knew I was gone, No

783
01:01:10.000 --> 01:01:14.119
one noticed I hadn't been around. But there was no

784
01:01:14.159 --> 01:01:17.159
reason for them too anyway, because at that time, the

785
01:01:17.199 --> 01:01:21.679
whole family was busy. People were just busy doing stuff,

786
01:01:22.960 --> 01:01:27.559
and two of my brothers weren't really around anymore. My

787
01:01:27.599 --> 01:01:34.760
little brother was what seven, eight, yeah, seven or eight,

788
01:01:35.119 --> 01:01:38.719
so he was kind of doing his own thing as well.

789
01:01:41.679 --> 01:01:46.800
Both parents were working, so yeah, I was kind of

790
01:01:46.920 --> 01:01:50.760
just you know, I think kind of the family had

791
01:01:50.800 --> 01:01:54.880
pretty much at that point, the family had kind of

792
01:01:54.880 --> 01:02:03.519
come to an end. And then you know, by by

793
01:02:03.599 --> 01:02:07.760
this summer, the summer, I don't know when it was.

794
01:02:07.880 --> 01:02:18.880
It might have been May, maytime, maybe June, we moved

795
01:02:18.920 --> 01:02:26.280
out and stayed in my step mom's mom's flat until

796
01:02:26.320 --> 01:02:31.960
she moved away. So that was, Yeah, that was kind

797
01:02:31.960 --> 01:02:35.960
of a weird, weird period. And I didn't wear my

798
01:02:35.960 --> 01:02:43.280
glasses at all after that, like never ever again, didn't

799
01:02:43.280 --> 01:02:49.519
wear them. And then I the next time I went

800
01:02:49.599 --> 01:02:55.039
to see if I needy glasses was again. This was

801
01:02:55.199 --> 01:02:59.840
nineteen eighty nine because a few years later, nineteen eighty nine,

802
01:03:00.119 --> 01:03:06.440
in London, and I wanted to get back to reading

803
01:03:06.559 --> 01:03:10.079
again because i'd had a break from reading. We're not

804
01:03:10.119 --> 01:03:12.239
a complete break, but I hadn't really read much for

805
01:03:12.239 --> 01:03:14.639
a little while for a few months, and I thought,

806
01:03:15.719 --> 01:03:18.519
and I didn't have any hardly any of my belongings

807
01:03:18.559 --> 01:03:22.280
in London, so I'd left them at my dad's just

808
01:03:22.320 --> 01:03:29.199
store in storage and not they had much stuff, but

809
01:03:29.360 --> 01:03:31.440
I think it was under a bed. But there's a

810
01:03:31.480 --> 01:03:35.639
lot of the videos and some books and stuff, you know,

811
01:03:37.039 --> 01:03:42.519
So what I did is. I went to the opticians thinking,

812
01:03:45.559 --> 01:03:49.599
and they said, I just need glasses for reading. I

813
01:03:49.679 --> 01:03:53.840
don't need them all the time, just for reading. I said, okay, cool,

814
01:03:54.960 --> 01:03:57.840
so and that's when I started. I bought a couple

815
01:03:57.880 --> 01:04:01.199
of books and I got back into reading again because

816
01:04:02.000 --> 01:04:06.880
it was always a passion, and I not always I

817
01:04:06.920 --> 01:04:11.920
was born reading, but I kind of taught myself to read.

818
01:04:12.000 --> 01:04:17.119
Really with my book, it's over there, somewhere on the bookcase.

819
01:04:17.159 --> 01:04:23.639
It was a Jack Andry still I've literally memorized. I

820
01:04:23.760 --> 01:04:27.440
memorized it. And this is bearing in mind I haven't

821
01:04:27.519 --> 01:04:31.199
watched I haven't read this book since I was a

822
01:04:31.239 --> 01:04:34.239
little kid, okay, but I learned to read with it.

823
01:04:35.159 --> 01:04:40.320
And in the first the first page is a little rhyme,

824
01:04:40.840 --> 01:04:43.039
I'll tell you a story about Jack and Ry, and

825
01:04:43.079 --> 01:04:48.760
now my story. I'll tell you story. When I said,

826
01:04:48.760 --> 01:04:52.639
I memorized it, Uh, I'll tell you a story about

827
01:04:52.719 --> 01:04:56.039
Jack and Ry, and now my story has begun. I'll

828
01:04:56.039 --> 01:04:58.199
tell you another about Jack and his brother, and now

829
01:04:58.239 --> 01:05:04.559
my story is done. I tried to look for it

830
01:05:04.559 --> 01:05:06.519
the other day, I think while I was doing a recording,

831
01:05:06.639 --> 01:05:09.920
I could not find it. It's definitely there because I

832
01:05:09.960 --> 01:05:16.239
found it online because it's basically about Jack, Jack and

833
01:05:16.280 --> 01:05:18.559
the bean Stalk, and I think there's a few different

834
01:05:18.599 --> 01:05:23.400
stories about Jack, and that was what Jack and Noy

835
01:05:23.559 --> 01:05:26.840
was based on, which was a really famous TV show

836
01:05:27.679 --> 01:05:31.320
where people would just tell a story. They'd read out

837
01:05:31.320 --> 01:05:36.880
of a book and tell a story. And I, I said,

838
01:05:36.960 --> 01:05:39.559
taught myself to read. I mean, I'm sure that you

839
01:05:39.599 --> 01:05:43.159
know I did go to school and stuff at that time,

840
01:05:45.320 --> 01:05:50.199
but because I was what six, maybe six five or six,

841
01:05:51.079 --> 01:05:56.840
I moved around so much that I didn't I don't

842
01:05:56.880 --> 01:06:01.480
think I really had any kind of stable education as

843
01:06:01.519 --> 01:06:07.000
it were. And then when I moved to with my dad,

844
01:06:07.559 --> 01:06:15.920
I was seven and I was told by one of

845
01:06:15.920 --> 01:06:21.159
my parents that I was behind. Basically, I was behind

846
01:06:21.280 --> 01:06:25.079
because I was told I've been taught the wrong way.

847
01:06:25.960 --> 01:06:30.400
That's what the teachers told her. That it sounded like

848
01:06:30.400 --> 01:06:32.440
I've been told I've been taught the wrong way. I

849
01:06:32.480 --> 01:06:35.559
was behind. I mean, probably just being kind to me,

850
01:06:35.639 --> 01:06:37.159
trying to explain it to me in a way that

851
01:06:37.199 --> 01:06:43.320
I might understand it. So basically what it meant, I

852
01:06:43.440 --> 01:06:54.079
was in educational terms now, I guess remedial or special

853
01:06:54.119 --> 01:07:00.239
needs educational terms. Back then, I was a dunce. You know,

854
01:07:00.280 --> 01:07:01.920
it was a little bit different back then. This is

855
01:07:02.000 --> 01:07:10.119
nineteen seventy seven. Someone that was behind educationally was called

856
01:07:10.119 --> 01:07:16.039
a dunce. It's not good, really, it's not now, but

857
01:07:17.000 --> 01:07:20.360
that's what I was kind of classed as. But that's

858
01:07:20.400 --> 01:07:23.079
not how she she said that. She told me I

859
01:07:23.159 --> 01:07:26.119
was special. Now I didn't realize that meant special needs.

860
01:07:27.000 --> 01:07:29.880
But when she said I was special, I felt special,

861
01:07:31.199 --> 01:07:38.840
like loved, like I was, you know, special. Maybe she

862
01:07:38.960 --> 01:07:41.719
was about to say needs, but I just like made

863
01:07:41.760 --> 01:07:45.159
such a big I was so gushy and smiling when

864
01:07:45.239 --> 01:07:48.639
she said special. She thought, Okay, perhaps I won't say

865
01:07:48.679 --> 01:07:55.639
the word needs. Had a conversation with my dad later

866
01:07:55.679 --> 01:07:58.559
in the evening. Probably didn't they. So did you have

867
01:07:58.559 --> 01:08:01.360
a chat with him? Yeah, did you tell him that

868
01:08:01.400 --> 01:08:04.559
he special needs? Well? I told him part of it.

869
01:08:06.800 --> 01:08:11.639
But he seems so happy, he said, yeah, but he's happy.

870
01:08:11.639 --> 01:08:13.280
All you got to do is just wave a banana

871
01:08:13.360 --> 01:08:17.560
around and that gets his attention. He's happy. That's not true.

872
01:08:18.399 --> 01:08:25.800
I do like bananas, but not quite that distractable. Give

873
01:08:25.880 --> 01:08:30.720
him a cardboard give him a cardboard box. That's all

874
01:08:30.760 --> 01:08:37.239
he needs. It's like, no, I mean cardboard boxes were fun,

875
01:08:37.359 --> 01:08:42.199
but it's not all I needed. Also, I love television,

876
01:08:42.920 --> 01:08:49.439
so anyway, i'd kind of taught myself, I think, to read.

877
01:08:49.520 --> 01:08:55.840
Maybe I'll taught myself wrongly to read, but I think

878
01:08:55.880 --> 01:09:02.680
I ended up quite okay verbally. I think I was.

879
01:09:03.399 --> 01:09:08.279
I don't think I was behind verbally. And there's advantages

880
01:09:08.399 --> 01:09:12.720
to there's advantages to moving around a lot when you're little.

881
01:09:14.039 --> 01:09:16.279
From a verbal perspective, I think you get to learn

882
01:09:17.680 --> 01:09:20.680
quite you know, verbally, get to not always. But I

883
01:09:20.720 --> 01:09:23.800
think in my case, I think I became verbally quite

884
01:09:23.880 --> 01:09:29.119
competent being around adults a lot. That's another thing. Living

885
01:09:29.159 --> 01:09:32.680
in a kids home with lots of other kids, there's

886
01:09:32.800 --> 01:09:36.920
lots of conversations all the time, you know, it's living

887
01:09:36.960 --> 01:09:40.600
in dormitories and stuff like that. So I didn't really

888
01:09:40.600 --> 01:09:43.039
get any time to myself, but there was a lot

889
01:09:43.079 --> 01:09:45.600
of conversations going on. So I was hearing a lot

890
01:09:45.600 --> 01:09:55.960
of verbal stuff and absorbing that. So I think, you know,

891
01:09:56.079 --> 01:09:59.039
I think that my verbal skills would probably be quite good,

892
01:10:00.840 --> 01:10:06.359
but everything else was me being not so good. My

893
01:10:06.520 --> 01:10:12.199
mathematics skills was still yeah, it was never really a

894
01:10:12.239 --> 01:10:15.640
thing for me, and it wasn't really it wasn't really

895
01:10:15.760 --> 01:10:21.800
my forte as it were, nor science, nor geography, nor

896
01:10:21.840 --> 01:10:28.680
history anything. Really the only subject I liked too Ari

897
01:10:29.039 --> 01:10:35.439
and English Ari because I suppose in a way I

898
01:10:35.479 --> 01:10:39.479
had a little bit of an advantage being part, you know,

899
01:10:39.600 --> 01:10:42.800
for a couple of years being raised by nuns kind

900
01:10:42.840 --> 01:10:47.720
of church every day. I kind of understood the groundings

901
01:10:47.760 --> 01:10:52.720
of like Christianity or Catholicism or you know that kind

902
01:10:52.760 --> 01:10:54.840
of stuff. I guess I had a little bit more

903
01:10:54.960 --> 01:11:03.319
of an understanding of it, so it wasn't too difficult. Plus,

904
01:11:03.359 --> 01:11:05.520
both the IRA teachers I had, because I only had

905
01:11:05.520 --> 01:11:09.760
two IRA teachers this is religious education and throughout my

906
01:11:09.840 --> 01:11:12.760
high school. And they were both lovely. They're both to

907
01:11:12.960 --> 01:11:16.960
my best teachers. So I wasn't interested in the subject

908
01:11:17.000 --> 01:11:22.800
really not to start with. But it was, you know,

909
01:11:23.079 --> 01:11:26.680
it was more they were lovely. I liked being in

910
01:11:26.720 --> 01:11:31.119
the class because the teachers were lovely, and which is

911
01:11:31.159 --> 01:11:34.319
something that I think a lot of teachers could learn from.

912
01:11:34.600 --> 01:11:44.079
Is actually sometimes just I think just being nice, just

913
01:11:44.159 --> 01:11:47.600
being nice. In them days, there was a lot of

914
01:11:47.720 --> 01:11:49.359
strict teachers.

915
01:11:50.159 --> 01:11:50.560
It was.

916
01:11:53.119 --> 01:11:57.279
Where I was. It wasn't I think it was kind

917
01:11:57.319 --> 01:12:01.560
of like children should be seen, not heard kind of attitude.

918
01:12:03.560 --> 01:12:05.600
So it's a little bit different to how it is now.

919
01:12:06.239 --> 01:12:08.279
I don't know how it is now. I don't have kids,

920
01:12:09.640 --> 01:12:13.079
and I live on a council estate, so kids are

921
01:12:13.079 --> 01:12:16.199
definitely not treated that they should be seen and not heard.

922
01:12:16.760 --> 01:12:22.600
They're definitely heard. So it's I don't know what it's

923
01:12:22.680 --> 01:12:29.520
like in the mainstream country people around the country. But

924
01:12:32.159 --> 01:12:34.960
I'm talking about glasses, I'm talking about reading now.

925
01:12:37.000 --> 01:12:37.319
It is.

926
01:12:37.399 --> 01:12:44.039
I was in like a remedial class once a week.

927
01:12:44.119 --> 01:12:46.640
I've just taken that and I've talked about this before,

928
01:12:46.680 --> 01:12:50.079
but I had my maths teacher, mister Johnson. It was lovely,

929
01:12:50.319 --> 01:12:58.920
big beard, lovely man, really friendly and he actually I

930
01:12:58.960 --> 01:13:01.479
think if i'd ever had him as my mass teacher

931
01:13:03.520 --> 01:13:06.800
all the way through high school. I'm not saying that

932
01:13:06.840 --> 01:13:10.920
I would have gone on to do a level or

933
01:13:10.960 --> 01:13:15.359
anything like that, or even well, I think I might

934
01:13:15.359 --> 01:13:19.119
have gone on to do GCSA, which I didn't. I

935
01:13:19.119 --> 01:13:21.399
wasn't even that level to do. I had to. I

936
01:13:21.439 --> 01:13:24.960
did CSSE, which is something you get like city and guilds.

937
01:13:25.640 --> 01:13:28.680
That's the kinds of things you get for block clearing,

938
01:13:28.680 --> 01:13:34.279
toilets and stuff. Back then, and I think it's a

939
01:13:34.279 --> 01:13:36.600
bit higher now, but it was very low when it

940
01:13:36.640 --> 01:13:40.319
comes to it's City and Guilds of people that are

941
01:13:40.359 --> 01:13:46.439
not academic. Really back then it was it's the lowest level,

942
01:13:48.239 --> 01:13:51.520
and it's different now. So I'm saying I'm not not

943
01:13:51.680 --> 01:13:55.000
going to be rude against City and Gills because there's

944
01:13:55.000 --> 01:13:57.560
going to be people probably taking City and Girls now.

945
01:13:57.800 --> 01:14:02.079
But back then, City and Gills and Maths was not

946
01:14:02.119 --> 01:14:06.960
an accomplishment. Necessarily it would have been for me because

947
01:14:07.119 --> 01:14:09.159
I didn't pass it. So if I had passed the

948
01:14:09.199 --> 01:14:12.600
City in Guilds, it would have been a really good accomplishment.

949
01:14:14.039 --> 01:14:23.319
But I didn't get any qualifications. I got you, which

950
01:14:23.399 --> 01:14:28.640
apparently is it stands for unclassified, so I got unclassified

951
01:14:28.680 --> 01:14:34.000
for every single thing. I'm not sure if I got

952
01:14:34.000 --> 01:14:40.960
a bit higher grade for English. If I'm honest, I

953
01:14:41.000 --> 01:14:43.359
think I might have actually passed English or might have been,

954
01:14:43.560 --> 01:14:47.119
but it still would have been low. Although English was

955
01:14:47.159 --> 01:14:57.720
the only, probably the only subject that I was adequate in.

956
01:14:58.880 --> 01:15:02.399
But the problem with English is I didn't like it.

957
01:15:04.399 --> 01:15:06.439
I did to start with when I was in junior school.

958
01:15:06.560 --> 01:15:13.159
Loved English, practicing, writing, practicing, handwriting, reading books I would

959
01:15:13.239 --> 01:15:17.079
take I got, I read every single book in the library.

960
01:15:17.079 --> 01:15:20.520
They had a little library in the English room, and

961
01:15:20.720 --> 01:15:23.000
it was just you know, little books. But I'd take

962
01:15:23.039 --> 01:15:25.000
them home and i'd finish them, so it would start

963
01:15:25.039 --> 01:15:28.560
reading them in class, would take turns reading it out

964
01:15:28.640 --> 01:15:31.399
loud and things. I'd take the book home with me

965
01:15:31.520 --> 01:15:33.760
and i'd read it overnight and bring it back. And

966
01:15:33.800 --> 01:15:37.119
I did it to every single book. Sometimes I take

967
01:15:37.199 --> 01:15:39.399
like two or three home at night the weekend. I'd

968
01:15:39.399 --> 01:15:43.640
bring them back and i'd get permission. I wouldn't just

969
01:15:43.640 --> 01:15:50.640
take them because I was a good boy. And this

970
01:15:50.680 --> 01:15:58.640
is possibly before I got my library card, although it

971
01:15:58.680 --> 01:16:01.119
might not have been if I don't know. Maybe it

972
01:16:01.199 --> 01:16:06.359
was because yeah, I was nine, I'm not sure. I

973
01:16:06.399 --> 01:16:10.680
don't think I had my library card. It nine, and

974
01:16:11.279 --> 01:16:18.279
so I loved English. I was more interested in crafts

975
01:16:18.319 --> 01:16:23.680
than doing other things. So I think that history, you know,

976
01:16:23.680 --> 01:16:25.479
would be talking about Romans, and I'm thinking, what are

977
01:16:25.479 --> 01:16:26.680
you telling me about Romans?

978
01:16:26.720 --> 01:16:26.800
For?

979
01:16:29.159 --> 01:16:31.039
What are you telling me about the Saxons? Are you

980
01:16:31.119 --> 01:16:37.960
telling me about the Why? What are you talking about Napoleon?

981
01:16:38.039 --> 01:16:43.239
For It's is just I think the only interesting thing

982
01:16:43.279 --> 01:16:47.439
about history would be probably about if they had done

983
01:16:47.479 --> 01:16:49.800
the history of the town I was living in, or

984
01:16:49.800 --> 01:16:54.279
if they had talked about the history of television or

985
01:16:54.319 --> 01:17:02.199
the history of my family or something like that would

986
01:17:02.199 --> 01:17:08.680
have been interesting to me, I guess, so I kind

987
01:17:08.720 --> 01:17:10.680
of went along with it and I just sat at

988
01:17:10.720 --> 01:17:19.039
the back and and just hid really and then I

989
01:17:19.039 --> 01:17:23.439
I was another thing. Oh yeah, that when I was eight.

990
01:17:27.039 --> 01:17:31.479
I was I had my adnoids out because I was

991
01:17:31.520 --> 01:17:34.119
having problems with my ears. I was getting earaches, and

992
01:17:34.319 --> 01:17:40.199
then I had had my head hit. It turned out

993
01:17:40.199 --> 01:17:45.079
I was partially deaf in one ear, so I had

994
01:17:45.119 --> 01:17:49.720
my adnoids out because I was blocked. Basically he was blocked,

995
01:17:50.520 --> 01:17:55.439
so to clear it out, so I should be okay.

996
01:17:55.640 --> 01:17:58.000
So this is eight years old, so I was partially

997
01:17:58.039 --> 01:18:02.279
deaf for however many years. Didn't even know it, didn't

998
01:18:02.319 --> 01:18:07.199
even know it, didn't even show it. I remember being

999
01:18:07.239 --> 01:18:11.000
in hospital and like listening to the and I had

1000
01:18:11.000 --> 01:18:16.520
to like tap every time, and I could, like I

1001
01:18:16.640 --> 01:18:19.600
do it both years. One ear was really clear, which

1002
01:18:19.600 --> 01:18:23.479
I think is my left ear still is right right ear.

1003
01:18:23.760 --> 01:18:26.359
It's not so good as the left ear. So the

1004
01:18:26.439 --> 01:18:34.960
right ear was like, I mean, it's all it feels

1005
01:18:35.199 --> 01:18:38.319
it's to me, it seems like the volume is lower

1006
01:18:38.720 --> 01:18:41.199
when I talk on on my right phone, if I

1007
01:18:41.239 --> 01:18:43.479
put my if I put my phone on my right ear,

1008
01:18:43.960 --> 01:18:47.399
it feels like the volume is lower. But I did

1009
01:18:47.439 --> 01:18:49.920
have an eye test a few years ago, and eye

1010
01:18:49.920 --> 01:18:53.520
test and ear test, but it wasn't Specsavers had an

1011
01:18:53.520 --> 01:18:57.760
ear tests and they said, yeah, here's fine. So it

1012
01:18:57.880 --> 01:19:02.359
might just be psychological. I don't know, but anyway, this

1013
01:19:02.680 --> 01:19:06.119
was real. So I definitely had a like a hearing issue,

1014
01:19:06.760 --> 01:19:11.279
but it was fixable. I remember. It's so funny because

1015
01:19:12.560 --> 01:19:18.359
after I'd had the op, came home for the next

1016
01:19:18.520 --> 01:19:22.399
year or so, whenever someone called over to me and

1017
01:19:22.399 --> 01:19:26.079
I said, I didn't hear them. Maybe I was focusing

1018
01:19:26.079 --> 01:19:29.079
on something else. I didn't hear them. My dad would

1019
01:19:29.119 --> 01:19:31.640
shout out, that's it, we're going back to the doctors.

1020
01:19:32.439 --> 01:19:36.199
We're going to get his ears tested. Like it's like.

1021
01:19:37.119 --> 01:19:39.720
Because I was in a house full of three four kids,

1022
01:19:39.720 --> 01:19:46.119
including myself and two adults, I had to block off

1023
01:19:46.239 --> 01:19:50.039
that sound. It was too much. I had to kind

1024
01:19:50.039 --> 01:19:52.880
of go inside myself to block it off. So when

1025
01:19:52.920 --> 01:19:57.720
someone did shout out my name or I would sometimes

1026
01:19:57.720 --> 01:20:02.319
I wouldn't hear it because I had to in order

1027
01:20:02.319 --> 01:20:06.079
for me to watch TV in a room with how

1028
01:20:06.119 --> 01:20:11.119
many people was at three for five other people? That's

1029
01:20:11.119 --> 01:20:16.640
those three kids, four kids and two adults. So three

1030
01:20:16.680 --> 01:20:21.119
other kids, two adults watching the TV. Even if they

1031
01:20:21.159 --> 01:20:24.159
weren't talking, there was like rustling of bags and food

1032
01:20:24.359 --> 01:20:30.399
and fidgeting, and there was maybe traffic outside and you know,

1033
01:20:30.640 --> 01:20:35.319
just general sounds. I had to really zone them out

1034
01:20:35.399 --> 01:20:39.800
in order to watch the TV and hear it. So

1035
01:20:39.880 --> 01:20:41.760
they were talking to me and I wouldn't hear them.

1036
01:20:42.159 --> 01:20:44.720
It wasn't because I wasn't listening. It's just because I

1037
01:20:44.800 --> 01:20:50.520
was focused. I had the zoned them out. I removed

1038
01:20:50.560 --> 01:20:56.800
them from the situation, removed them from my peripheral vision,

1039
01:20:57.039 --> 01:21:01.680
removed them from my thoughts of just focused on the TV.

1040
01:21:02.920 --> 01:21:06.319
And this is the only way I could really watch it.

1041
01:21:06.560 --> 01:21:10.000
I mean, even now, it seems like I'm just talking

1042
01:21:10.000 --> 01:21:13.880
about my inadequacies, doesn't it. But maybe I am. Maybe

1043
01:21:13.880 --> 01:21:18.520
that's what it is. But wearing glasses is not an inadequacy.

1044
01:21:18.720 --> 01:21:22.000
Wearing glasses is just it's just a natural thing. Millions

1045
01:21:22.000 --> 01:21:25.000
and millions of people with them, including me, and there's

1046
01:21:25.039 --> 01:21:30.800
nothing wrong with it. So but this, for some reason,

1047
01:21:32.439 --> 01:21:39.439
I can't have someone sitting next to me like if

1048
01:21:39.840 --> 01:21:42.359
when I'm at home, bearing in mind, this is the

1049
01:21:42.399 --> 01:21:45.720
most relaxed place I'm going to be. Really is being

1050
01:21:45.800 --> 01:21:48.800
here a part of I mean, the most relaxed place

1051
01:21:48.840 --> 01:21:51.880
I probably ever was before this was my name's. I

1052
01:21:52.119 --> 01:21:53.760
was sitting in the room with my name. I was

1053
01:21:53.800 --> 01:21:59.680
relaxed in a way that probably I wasn't. I mean,

1054
01:21:59.680 --> 01:22:03.560
it's more safety thing, to be fair, emotionally, I felt

1055
01:22:03.600 --> 01:22:08.920
safe with her, but I was relaxed with her here.

1056
01:22:11.119 --> 01:22:12.800
It's probably the only place that I would say I'd

1057
01:22:12.840 --> 01:22:16.760
probably feel relaxed when that front door was locked and

1058
01:22:16.800 --> 01:22:19.560
I got Finny cuddled up next to me and I'm

1059
01:22:19.600 --> 01:22:22.399
just stroking him or got my arm resting on him.

1060
01:22:22.680 --> 01:22:29.119
It's relaxing and relaxed. Put someone put up human beings

1061
01:22:29.119 --> 01:22:31.720
sitting next to me, and I will not feel relaxed.

1062
01:22:33.479 --> 01:22:37.840
And I'm not talking like some random stranger, just anyone,

1063
01:22:38.159 --> 01:22:40.439
anyone I know. I don't want them sitting next to me.

1064
01:22:40.560 --> 01:22:45.960
I cannot sit next to someone on a sofa, and

1065
01:22:46.000 --> 01:22:50.239
that includes even Luke, my friend downstairs. He'd always sit

1066
01:22:50.279 --> 01:22:54.039
on a different chair. I'd have a chair separate for him,

1067
01:22:54.479 --> 01:22:55.920
or we could sit on the sofa and I'd sit

1068
01:22:55.960 --> 01:22:58.680
on a chair. You know, I wouldn't like he'd have

1069
01:22:58.680 --> 01:23:01.560
a choice, So he'd sit on the sofa if I

1070
01:23:01.560 --> 01:23:03.479
was at the table. So if I was at my desk,

1071
01:23:04.560 --> 01:23:07.720
he'd sit on the sofa and we'd watch TV together,

1072
01:23:07.880 --> 01:23:12.359
or I'd be doing stuff and with chat. But if

1073
01:23:12.439 --> 01:23:14.720
I was sitting, if we were watching TV together, which

1074
01:23:15.000 --> 01:23:17.560
we didn't do that much, but if we're watching boxing,

1075
01:23:20.000 --> 01:23:21.920
I like to be comfortable when I'm watching boxing, and

1076
01:23:22.039 --> 01:23:25.000
I like to be in the sofa with my legs

1077
01:23:25.079 --> 01:23:27.800
up or in the chair with my legs up. Because

1078
01:23:27.800 --> 01:23:31.880
I used to have a not recycling reclining chair.

1079
01:23:31.960 --> 01:23:32.199
That's it.

1080
01:23:32.439 --> 01:23:38.640
I used to have a reclining chair, and I had

1081
01:23:38.640 --> 01:23:41.159
that for a few years. I've had this one for

1082
01:23:43.279 --> 01:23:45.239
I probably had this world for a few years there

1083
01:23:45.319 --> 01:23:52.960
as well. But the last few years he was with

1084
01:23:53.039 --> 01:23:56.840
the boxing, he would sit on a chair while I

1085
01:23:56.840 --> 01:23:59.399
sat on the sofa because and I'd always make sure

1086
01:23:59.439 --> 01:24:01.600
that it was stuff on the other because there's there's

1087
01:24:01.680 --> 01:24:06.359
two chairs, two seats on the sofa. The other side

1088
01:24:06.359 --> 01:24:09.319
of the sofa. It's always got stuff on it. It's

1089
01:24:09.399 --> 01:24:16.800
never empty. This is before I got Vinnie. I used

1090
01:24:16.800 --> 01:24:19.840
to just keep that. That's where that's just stuff, where

1091
01:24:19.880 --> 01:24:22.159
it's a book where I can write stuff in a

1092
01:24:22.199 --> 01:24:25.840
book I'm reading, whether it's laptop, whatever, it's all stuff

1093
01:24:25.880 --> 01:24:29.800
that's my little like a little desk kind of people

1094
01:24:29.840 --> 01:24:35.560
don't sit there, and I can't sit next to someone.

1095
01:24:35.680 --> 01:24:42.960
I can't. It's especially I mean TV or just it's

1096
01:24:43.000 --> 01:24:45.359
about doable, but I can't do it. I don't do

1097
01:24:45.399 --> 01:24:48.680
it if I don't have to. But having a conversation

1098
01:24:48.800 --> 01:24:52.760
it's too close. I need distance when I'm talking to someone.

1099
01:24:52.800 --> 01:24:55.359
I need distance. I need at least maybe six to

1100
01:24:55.359 --> 01:25:01.119
ten foot or six foot probably just this not a

1101
01:25:01.159 --> 01:25:04.279
far enough away so that I need binoculars, but just

1102
01:25:04.760 --> 01:25:08.159
you know, or that they need to use a loud speaker,

1103
01:25:10.680 --> 01:25:14.680
but I do. I need that distance because I struggle

1104
01:25:14.760 --> 01:25:16.920
to focus with my eyes if someone is too close,

1105
01:25:17.720 --> 01:25:25.159
like I don't know what that is. Which makes being

1106
01:25:25.239 --> 01:25:28.840
on a bus a little bit difficult. And it's it's

1107
01:25:28.920 --> 01:25:32.079
great if there's no one on the bus, but a

1108
01:25:32.119 --> 01:25:39.920
busy bus all I'd rather stand. I'd rather stand and

1109
01:25:42.960 --> 01:25:46.960
pretty much be sniffing someone's arm pit. No, I don't

1110
01:25:46.960 --> 01:25:48.840
want to smith sniff someone's arm pet. I'm saying I'd

1111
01:25:48.920 --> 01:25:52.279
rather stand and be like squashed sending up than how

1112
01:25:52.319 --> 01:25:58.479
someone's sitting next to me. It's you know, I suppose

1113
01:25:58.479 --> 01:26:03.079
it's because my belly does give me distance. Someone might

1114
01:26:03.119 --> 01:26:04.800
be in it on my bum. We've got such a

1115
01:26:04.800 --> 01:26:09.399
big bum, big belly that people can't really get too

1116
01:26:09.399 --> 01:26:14.760
close to me if I'm standing up, which is good.

1117
01:26:16.159 --> 01:26:22.960
Oh I really painted a terrible picture of my body,

1118
01:26:23.600 --> 01:26:29.600
That's what I was going to say. Oh yeah, So

1119
01:26:31.239 --> 01:26:36.359
it turned out that after I had my ears thing done,

1120
01:26:37.000 --> 01:26:40.800
the teachers were saying they now, they said, oh, he's

1121
01:26:40.840 --> 01:26:43.279
so behind because he couldn't hear what was being said

1122
01:26:43.279 --> 01:26:45.920
in the classroom, and he was always sitting at the

1123
01:26:45.960 --> 01:26:48.319
back of the talking about me always sitting at the

1124
01:26:48.319 --> 01:26:57.680
back of the classroom and didn't didn't pretty much. I

1125
01:26:57.880 --> 01:27:03.399
wasn't able to hear what's going on well enough. It's

1126
01:27:03.439 --> 01:27:07.760
like they were trying to make excuses for me not listening.

1127
01:27:08.279 --> 01:27:10.199
But the fact is, I mean, it might have been true.

1128
01:27:10.199 --> 01:27:11.520
I might have been part of the reason why I

1129
01:27:11.560 --> 01:27:16.439
was so behind, but I genuinely wasn't interested in what

1130
01:27:16.479 --> 01:27:20.840
the teachers were talking about, and anything that did interest me.

1131
01:27:21.640 --> 01:27:26.760
It stuck. You know, if I'm interested in something, I'll

1132
01:27:26.800 --> 01:27:30.800
look it up now and that information generally stays with me.

1133
01:27:39.479 --> 01:27:41.800
I think sitting at the back was a good place

1134
01:27:41.840 --> 01:27:43.840
to be because I don't want to be I never

1135
01:27:43.960 --> 01:27:48.600
liked people being behind me. I never really enjoyed that,

1136
01:27:49.319 --> 01:27:53.680
even when I'll go to a theater. When I was

1137
01:27:53.720 --> 01:27:57.239
really little, I didn't care, like if I go to

1138
01:27:57.239 --> 01:28:00.199
the cinemation like going a front row. Because I was

1139
01:28:00.199 --> 01:28:04.359
so little, I didn't My head didn't even really fit

1140
01:28:04.439 --> 01:28:08.720
to the top of the headrest. So technically people were

1141
01:28:08.760 --> 01:28:11.880
behind me, but it didn't feel like they were because

1142
01:28:11.920 --> 01:28:13.920
I was. They probably didn't even know I was there.

1143
01:28:15.319 --> 01:28:17.520
And I spread my legs out, and I was lovely,

1144
01:28:17.760 --> 01:28:20.560
even though I had little legs. I spread my legs

1145
01:28:20.560 --> 01:28:24.199
out wherever I was in the cinema, but it was

1146
01:28:24.279 --> 01:28:25.960
I used to love to sit at the front and

1147
01:28:26.039 --> 01:28:34.319
had this big, massive screen, And yeah, that's what I

1148
01:28:34.319 --> 01:28:37.199
always used to do. When I was older, i'd moved

1149
01:28:37.199 --> 01:28:42.720
to the back. Now. I haven't been to cinema for

1150
01:28:42.760 --> 01:28:47.239
a long time, but now I probably choose, if possible,

1151
01:28:49.159 --> 01:28:53.119
like a middle aisle, but away from anyone. I don't

1152
01:28:53.159 --> 01:28:55.600
want people sitting near me or in front of me

1153
01:28:55.720 --> 01:28:58.960
or behind me. I just want my I want my

1154
01:28:59.000 --> 01:29:05.920
own cinema based simply, but enough distance, you know, I'm

1155
01:29:05.920 --> 01:29:09.039
gonna actually have seat. In the past, I'm sure I

1156
01:29:09.079 --> 01:29:11.039
was in the cinema once and someone just walked up

1157
01:29:11.439 --> 01:29:18.920
and sat right next to me. And I remember saying,

1158
01:29:19.960 --> 01:29:23.159
why you got all these other seats in this cinema?

1159
01:29:23.199 --> 01:29:26.479
Is probably two hundred seats in the cinema and there's

1160
01:29:26.479 --> 01:29:28.880
only like five people in there. Why did you come

1161
01:29:28.880 --> 01:29:32.000
and sit next to me? You know what I heard.

1162
01:29:32.039 --> 01:29:36.560
You know what response was. We came together, We came

1163
01:29:36.640 --> 01:29:38.760
to what do you mean why am I sitting next

1164
01:29:38.760 --> 01:29:41.239
to you? I've just been out to go and get

1165
01:29:41.279 --> 01:29:45.479
some popcorn for us. That's the point where I thought

1166
01:29:45.520 --> 01:29:51.399
maybe the relationship wasn't going to work out. Just going

1167
01:29:51.439 --> 01:29:54.000
to the cinema as someone doesn't it doesn't mean that

1168
01:29:54.039 --> 01:30:03.079
I want to sit with them. That was weird. So yeah,

1169
01:30:03.199 --> 01:30:12.720
I had glasses. Oh yeah, the eighty nine got them again,

1170
01:30:12.840 --> 01:30:16.920
started reading, started not using them to read a bit more.

1171
01:30:17.000 --> 01:30:26.520
That was nice, And really between nineteen eighty nine and

1172
01:30:26.680 --> 01:30:32.760
two thy thirteen, just reading glasses all those years, just

1173
01:30:32.840 --> 01:30:37.760
reading glasses, I go back, just need them for reading.

1174
01:30:39.159 --> 01:30:41.600
Never mentioned the one KEYI maybe I've still got one

1175
01:30:41.640 --> 01:30:45.279
kei and no one's told me, but I've had photographs taken.

1176
01:30:45.359 --> 01:30:48.560
It doesn't seem to be. Well, you know what, I've

1177
01:30:48.600 --> 01:30:50.680
had enough people in my life that would tell me.

1178
01:30:51.439 --> 01:30:54.159
They just make fun of me to my face about

1179
01:30:54.199 --> 01:30:59.319
having a one kei. So maybe I do, but I'm

1180
01:30:59.319 --> 01:31:09.840
pretty sure they tell me. I actually met someone who

1181
01:31:09.880 --> 01:31:15.399
had a one kei and there's a health spa thing,

1182
01:31:16.600 --> 01:31:19.279
and she's one of the people that have been most

1183
01:31:20.039 --> 01:31:22.640
I've most attracted to in my entire life was her.

1184
01:31:23.920 --> 01:31:28.520
I didn't met her once as a one kid. I

1185
01:31:28.600 --> 01:31:30.399
just liked just looking in a different direction. And I

1186
01:31:30.399 --> 01:31:32.560
had a friend. I had a friend who had like

1187
01:31:32.600 --> 01:31:37.119
an eye like that, like, who cares, He's got to

1188
01:31:37.119 --> 01:31:40.960
focus on one eye? But you can't look You can't

1189
01:31:41.000 --> 01:31:44.039
look at both eyes anyway, can you? Or can you?

1190
01:31:44.239 --> 01:31:48.560
I can't. I'm not glazed over a little bit when

1191
01:31:48.560 --> 01:31:52.560
I look at people, but I can't unless it is

1192
01:31:52.600 --> 01:31:54.720
at a distance. I need a real distance if I'm

1193
01:31:54.720 --> 01:31:57.239
gonna be able to get an idea of focusing on

1194
01:31:57.319 --> 01:32:01.840
both eyes too close and and I can't focus on either.

1195
01:32:01.920 --> 01:32:15.000
I so two thirteen between. Actually, yeah, I wore I

1196
01:32:15.039 --> 01:32:21.279
wore glasses for reading a lot during the twenties, during

1197
01:32:21.319 --> 01:32:26.319
my twenties, rather not the nineteen twenties, because I was

1198
01:32:26.359 --> 01:32:28.199
reading a lot. I'd read a lot of books, had

1199
01:32:28.199 --> 01:32:33.079
a lot of books. That stupid flies in this room.

1200
01:32:33.079 --> 01:32:35.680
It was in the kitchen earlier. Now it's here unless

1201
01:32:35.680 --> 01:32:37.640
it's just come in the window and it's a different fly,

1202
01:32:38.319 --> 01:32:39.880
or it's got out of a window in the kitchen

1203
01:32:39.880 --> 01:32:46.920
and coming this way, harassing me being earth by a fly.

1204
01:32:48.960 --> 01:32:56.960
And I don't know why I went to the opticians

1205
01:32:57.000 --> 01:33:02.880
in twenty thirteen. I think I might have been getting

1206
01:33:02.880 --> 01:33:04.800
a bit of eyes strained because I was working in

1207
01:33:04.800 --> 01:33:09.880
the call center, and yeah, I was told, yeah, you

1208
01:33:09.880 --> 01:33:12.640
need to wear glasses, and you need to need to

1209
01:33:12.680 --> 01:33:17.560
wear glasses all the time or act. You know what

1210
01:33:17.600 --> 01:33:24.399
they call them lenses? You know what's your names? Do

1211
01:33:24.479 --> 01:33:28.000
you put in your eye? Them lens and things? I

1212
01:33:28.000 --> 01:33:30.119
can't remember the name because I will never wear them

1213
01:33:30.319 --> 01:33:34.399
ever contact lenses. No never never never never know it

1214
01:33:36.920 --> 01:33:41.640
and I never never never never know no, no, no

1215
01:33:41.640 --> 01:33:47.720
no no. I mean for vanity. I understand why people do,

1216
01:33:47.800 --> 01:33:50.920
maybe because glasses can cover up the face and if

1217
01:33:50.920 --> 01:33:56.239
someone's particularly you know, if I was particularly facially attractive.

1218
01:33:56.720 --> 01:33:59.039
I didn't want my face to be covered up. Then

1219
01:33:59.039 --> 01:34:06.239
maybe I would wear contact lenses. I probably wouldn't have

1220
01:34:06.279 --> 01:34:08.920
wanted to wear glasses in my twenties. I'll be honest

1221
01:34:08.920 --> 01:34:12.640
with you. I wouldn't. I wouldn't know. I wouldn't not

1222
01:34:12.720 --> 01:34:15.159
have been happy wearing glasses all the way through my

1223
01:34:15.199 --> 01:34:24.159
twenties and probably not even through my thirties either. I

1224
01:34:24.199 --> 01:34:29.640
didn't mind wearing them, I didn't mind wearing reading glasses

1225
01:34:29.640 --> 01:34:31.960
in front of people, but I don't think I would

1226
01:34:31.960 --> 01:34:37.439
have particularly wanted to be wearing glasses. Yeah. Yeah, it

1227
01:34:37.479 --> 01:34:41.479
wasn't really for me. I'm used to it now. It's

1228
01:34:41.520 --> 01:34:48.079
been what twelve years now since I've been wearing them.

1229
01:34:48.279 --> 01:34:50.720
And it was really weird because the first paid glasses,

1230
01:34:50.880 --> 01:34:57.720
it was three lenses, and the reading one was more powerful.

1231
01:35:00.079 --> 01:35:02.560
I don't know what is. It made me look taller.

1232
01:35:02.800 --> 01:35:06.720
I felt taller because the ground was further away. It

1233
01:35:06.760 --> 01:35:09.119
looked because that was the reading part, so they were

1234
01:35:09.159 --> 01:35:15.079
a bit more and I don't know, but it just looked.

1235
01:35:15.319 --> 01:35:18.520
I felt that I was like at least five foot tall.

1236
01:35:19.840 --> 01:35:22.840
It was amazing, but at the same time it was

1237
01:35:22.920 --> 01:35:25.279
trippy because I was, well literally, I was tripping over

1238
01:35:28.159 --> 01:35:36.119
the vet, not the vet, And the optician did say,

1239
01:35:36.680 --> 01:35:38.319
you're you know, you get used to it, but it

1240
01:35:38.359 --> 01:35:42.840
might be a bit weird to start with. I said, thanks.

1241
01:35:43.880 --> 01:35:45.960
She says, it's a little bit like a prostate exam.

1242
01:35:46.000 --> 01:35:50.119
You know. I said, what I said, don't worry. So

1243
01:35:50.159 --> 01:35:53.720
what are you talk about prostate exams? She said, well,

1244
01:35:53.760 --> 01:35:57.279
it's a bit weird. So what's weird about prostate exam?

1245
01:35:58.359 --> 01:36:04.720
She said, I'm an optician. I'm not supposed to give them. Okay,

1246
01:36:05.359 --> 01:36:07.199
that's say. Is it going in a weird direction? I

1247
01:36:07.359 --> 01:36:10.960
just left. They came running after me. You gotta pay,

1248
01:36:11.159 --> 01:36:16.319
you gotta pay, I said, okay, okay, I don't want

1249
01:36:16.319 --> 01:36:17.760
to come back and just give you the money. Said,

1250
01:36:17.840 --> 01:36:20.000
but you've got to come back. I said why. She said,

1251
01:36:20.000 --> 01:36:25.600
you left your trousers here. Okay, But it was weird

1252
01:36:25.680 --> 01:36:29.920
wearing glasses all the time to start with. And I

1253
01:36:29.960 --> 01:36:32.359
think some people because I've got active lights. So what

1254
01:36:33.000 --> 01:36:36.600
active lights so that it goes dark in the in

1255
01:36:36.640 --> 01:36:42.960
the sun, sunlight all year round, So I think some

1256
01:36:43.000 --> 01:36:44.920
people think I'm walking around Well, actually a couple of

1257
01:36:44.920 --> 01:36:46.800
people have said it in the past. A lot of

1258
01:36:46.800 --> 01:36:49.840
other dog walkers. Why are you wearing shades in the winter,

1259
01:36:51.880 --> 01:36:54.319
I said, I'm not wearing shades. These are my glasses.

1260
01:36:56.039 --> 01:36:59.560
They just go they block out the sunlight in my

1261
01:36:59.600 --> 01:37:08.840
eyes to try and protect my eyes. Oh, okay, So

1262
01:37:08.880 --> 01:37:11.720
I think some people think I'm walking around with sunglasses

1263
01:37:11.720 --> 01:37:16.399
on in the winter or when I first go into

1264
01:37:16.439 --> 01:37:18.560
a place. So if I go and listen, was going

1265
01:37:18.600 --> 01:37:23.640
to go into the pet shop in the winter, I

1266
01:37:23.640 --> 01:37:25.960
would look like I was wearing sunglasses because it takes

1267
01:37:25.960 --> 01:37:27.960
a while for the lens to go down from dark

1268
01:37:28.039 --> 01:37:32.399
to be clear again. So the whole time I'm in

1269
01:37:32.399 --> 01:37:37.760
that pet shop, they might be thinking he's wearing sunglasses

1270
01:37:39.199 --> 01:37:49.119
and it's December, strange and it's raining, but they go dark.

1271
01:37:51.479 --> 01:37:54.760
It's just what they do. So I'm pretty sure my

1272
01:37:55.000 --> 01:37:59.399
first mma had some like this, our very first mother.

1273
01:38:04.560 --> 01:38:06.760
I just have a memory of her wearing dark glasses.

1274
01:38:07.319 --> 01:38:10.479
Maybe they were just sunshades, but she definitely wore glasses.

1275
01:38:10.560 --> 01:38:14.840
So I don't know when when Okay, let me check

1276
01:38:15.720 --> 01:38:34.000
when did actor like Okay, did glasses have history of

1277
01:38:34.000 --> 01:38:44.680
people's glasses look Sempty star glasses acting like what is

1278
01:38:44.800 --> 01:38:51.800
actor like glasses through the decades. Oh, I can't believe

1279
01:38:52.399 --> 01:39:02.439
did act aviators not aviators? What are they called? Oh,

1280
01:39:02.479 --> 01:39:07.000
I can't see. The glass has been around? What since

1281
01:39:07.119 --> 01:39:10.239
nineteen twenties? They were around since before then? Weren't they

1282
01:39:11.960 --> 01:39:14.479
eyeglasses history. I don't really want to go through the

1283
01:39:14.600 --> 01:39:21.920
whole eyeglasses history, So history now, I'm just going to

1284
01:39:22.000 --> 01:39:32.800
go for history history of dark glasses. Dark glasses semi

1285
01:39:32.880 --> 01:39:39.199
peppees is an ingredient Samuel Peppe Paul Peppe's has been

1286
01:39:39.239 --> 01:39:44.119
credited with ordering the first dark glasses made by English

1287
01:39:44.239 --> 01:39:49.720
opetition John Turlington, but, according to his diary, used more

1288
01:39:49.760 --> 01:39:52.279
for ogland women in church than to shield his eyes

1289
01:39:52.319 --> 01:39:59.800
from sunlight. Okay, I didn't know that was going to

1290
01:39:59.800 --> 01:40:06.239
be coming up the hint. I suppose they would be

1291
01:40:06.239 --> 01:40:10.319
called tinted. But like mine aunt sunglasses, they just go dark.

1292
01:40:12.079 --> 01:40:17.359
I might get some, really, I might get some glasses

1293
01:40:17.399 --> 01:40:22.520
just to annoy people go down like a bit of

1294
01:40:23.920 --> 01:40:27.439
you remember Elton John back in well, I'm not saying

1295
01:40:27.479 --> 01:40:29.920
remember him. He's still around, but remember when he was

1296
01:40:29.960 --> 01:40:32.000
like in the seventies and the eighties. He'd be wearing

1297
01:40:32.039 --> 01:40:38.119
like really crazy glasses and I might do that. Or

1298
01:40:38.239 --> 01:40:44.199
Danny LaRue was it Danny LaRue Liberaci. Yeah, I might

1299
01:40:44.239 --> 01:40:50.720
go down a Liberaci route just wear really colorful spectacles,

1300
01:40:51.920 --> 01:40:55.640
or I might just get some normal glasses. I quite

1301
01:40:55.720 --> 01:41:02.880
like these frames. But last time, because they've got reading

1302
01:41:02.880 --> 01:41:05.800
bits at the bottom, I got two pairs of the

1303
01:41:05.840 --> 01:41:09.479
same glasses. So this is the second pair, warning the

1304
01:41:09.479 --> 01:41:12.960
other ones out. This is the second pair, and needs

1305
01:41:12.960 --> 01:41:16.560
are nearly worn out as well. It's been I think

1306
01:41:16.720 --> 01:41:20.760
three or four years, maybe four maybe longer since I

1307
01:41:20.840 --> 01:41:28.199
last had these. Yeah, I talked myself into it. I'm

1308
01:41:28.199 --> 01:41:31.840
going to go and get an eyeglass, eyeglass test, eye

1309
01:41:31.840 --> 01:41:39.600
test for glasses. It's not really much of a history

1310
01:41:39.640 --> 01:41:43.560
of my glasses, is it, But that's that's kind of it.

1311
01:41:43.680 --> 01:41:45.920
I remember that when I bought I got my glasses

1312
01:41:46.000 --> 01:41:50.800
nineteen eighty nine, and they were my first reading only glasses.

1313
01:41:50.439 --> 01:41:53.960
I think.

1314
01:41:54.680 --> 01:41:57.520
And when I got them, I was so excited. Went

1315
01:41:57.520 --> 01:42:01.439
to Collected Durman. I'd already bought a book to read,

1316
01:42:01.600 --> 01:42:03.640
and I was waiting for the to get the glasses

1317
01:42:03.680 --> 01:42:07.039
to anoint the book as it were, or anoint the

1318
01:42:07.039 --> 01:42:15.079
glasses with the book, and I sat on them. I

1319
01:42:15.119 --> 01:42:16.720
put them on the bed and I sat down and

1320
01:42:16.880 --> 01:42:22.560
I basically, yeah, sat on them. I had to take

1321
01:42:22.600 --> 01:42:29.199
them back and get them re shaped, and that's it

1322
01:42:29.319 --> 01:42:36.119
for me. So this is my Jason's was it Monday's

1323
01:42:36.119 --> 01:42:41.920
boring objects glasses? So thank you for listening. Remember to

1324
01:42:41.960 --> 01:42:44.640
be kind to yourself because you do deserve to be happy,

1325
01:42:46.680 --> 01:42:50.880
and be gentle with yourself, because you do deserve to

1326
01:42:50.920 --> 01:43:01.560
feel safe, relax in a more.

1327
01:43:02.319 --> 01:43:03.279
Deep and.

1328
01:43:07.039 --> 01:43:14.399
Meaningful way, maybe in a way that can not just

1329
01:43:14.720 --> 01:43:24.800
allow you to feel calmer now and throughout the time

1330
01:43:25.479 --> 01:43:33.840
we spend together here, not just relaxed at the end

1331
01:43:33.880 --> 01:43:38.319
of the recording when it's finished and you can enjoy

1332
01:43:38.520 --> 01:43:55.920
that sense of comfort and peace, but also I think

1333
01:43:55.960 --> 01:44:07.159
it would be nice to have those feelings of relaxation

1334
01:44:09.479 --> 01:44:23.720
continue for longer after the recording has ended, so that

1335
01:44:23.840 --> 01:44:36.319
you can still benefit from listening to my voice, maybe

1336
01:44:36.359 --> 01:44:47.720
in a few hours time, perhaps tomorrow, and then by

1337
01:44:47.840 --> 01:44:55.800
listening regularly, especially if you find like some people do

1338
01:44:56.199 --> 01:44:59.880
and myself as well. I sometimes I find one particularly

1339
01:45:00.000 --> 01:45:10.039
recording that really resonates with me, and I just listened

1340
01:45:10.079 --> 01:45:15.359
to it over and over again every morning, every evening.

1341
01:45:23.000 --> 01:45:27.640
There was this recording from We're going back to about

1342
01:45:27.760 --> 01:45:32.760
nineteen ninety nine. It was it wasn't hypnosis, but it

1343
01:45:32.840 --> 01:45:37.920
was a guided visualizations. It kind of was hypnosis, really,

1344
01:45:40.399 --> 01:45:45.560
and I managed to find it again and it still

1345
01:45:45.640 --> 01:45:51.239
has the same effect on me. And part of it

1346
01:45:51.399 --> 01:46:06.239
was the person's voice relaxed me. She just felt so peaceful,

1347
01:46:08.239 --> 01:46:14.800
and I'd look forward to listening to her in the

1348
01:46:14.840 --> 01:46:25.520
morning and in the evening, and I knew before even

1349
01:46:26.279 --> 01:46:33.520
pressing the play button that as soon as I've done that,

1350
01:46:34.439 --> 01:46:37.880
pressed the play button. This is in the days of

1351
01:46:42.960 --> 01:46:52.119
CD players, pressed the play button. In fact, it might

1352
01:46:52.119 --> 01:46:56.439
have even been a tape tape recorder. I'd lie down

1353
01:46:56.479 --> 01:47:09.119
on the bed and then even without necessarily listening to

1354
01:47:09.279 --> 01:47:22.439
her words because I had them memorized. Really, it was

1355
01:47:22.479 --> 01:47:33.079
as if my body knew exactly what to do, and

1356
01:47:33.239 --> 01:47:55.000
the muscles just almost went into automatic relaxation, and I

1357
01:47:55.079 --> 01:48:06.000
remember my mind would slow down. Now.

1358
01:48:07.960 --> 01:48:09.159
Now I was.

1359
01:48:09.239 --> 01:48:16.520
Listening to this recording in the early days of learning hypnosis,

1360
01:48:19.079 --> 01:48:26.920
and long before I ever made any videos or audio

1361
01:48:26.960 --> 01:48:31.720
recordings myself, because I didn't start doing that till two

1362
01:48:31.760 --> 01:48:51.079
thousand and six, I knew, I knew how helpful I

1363
01:48:51.159 --> 01:49:01.600
found being able to just let go, to have that

1364
01:49:01.800 --> 01:49:14.439
trust in the person that I'm listening to knowing that

1365
01:49:14.520 --> 01:49:22.840
it's going to be just as relaxing, if not more so.

1366
01:49:25.479 --> 01:49:32.479
Each time you hear my voice, you may feel the same.

1367
01:49:38.840 --> 01:49:53.439
Some people have been listening to me for over a decade,

1368
01:49:54.239 --> 01:50:01.239
maybe not solidly, obviously not twenty four hours a day,

1369
01:50:00.079 --> 01:50:08.279
but maybe people come back. Some people maybe listen every day.

1370
01:50:18.279 --> 01:50:24.279
That's something that I do which you may not realize

1371
01:50:26.680 --> 01:50:45.239
by listening, is when I record these recordings. Now, for example,

1372
01:50:49.800 --> 01:51:00.720
I also am affected by the words that I say.

1373
01:51:02.840 --> 01:51:12.199
So if I set you focus on your feet, notice

1374
01:51:12.279 --> 01:51:19.479
your feet relaxing, I will be focusing on my feet.

1375
01:51:24.399 --> 01:51:41.800
I will be noticing my feet relaxing. If I said

1376
01:51:41.920 --> 01:51:49.600
focus on your hands, and maybe notice the difference between

1377
01:51:49.640 --> 01:52:00.520
each hand, perhaps notice the air in the room, a

1378
01:52:00.600 --> 01:52:05.239
temperature of the room. On the backs of your hands,

1379
01:52:13.039 --> 01:52:16.960
you may start to notice what almost feels like a

1380
01:52:17.079 --> 01:52:25.119
very light breeze, even though there may not be any

1381
01:52:25.560 --> 01:52:30.479
type of breeze at all where you are right now.

1382
01:52:38.640 --> 01:52:49.239
And as you become aware of your hands, I'm also

1383
01:52:49.600 --> 01:53:17.760
aware of how relaxed my hands are feeling now. And

1384
01:53:17.960 --> 01:53:24.880
when it comes to potentially drifting off to sleep, which

1385
01:53:24.960 --> 01:53:39.079
may be the reason you're listening, I also feel drowsy

1386
01:53:41.359 --> 01:53:54.800
when I make these recordings. I also notice my mind drifting.

1387
01:54:02.720 --> 01:54:15.319
In fact, at times I've actually fallen asleep without even noticing,

1388
01:54:20.159 --> 01:54:29.319
and then I carry on talking. And it's only when

1389
01:54:29.600 --> 01:54:38.720
I listen back to do the editing I hear snoring,

1390
01:54:40.640 --> 01:54:47.920
and I think, I don't remember snoring. I remember talking.

1391
01:54:51.000 --> 01:54:58.319
Snoring was a pick turned up. That's why I sound

1392
01:54:58.439 --> 01:55:06.279
like when I snore. How I get read into a

1393
01:55:08.159 --> 01:55:26.359
whole experience. I don't know how you feel. How relaxed

1394
01:55:26.479 --> 01:55:36.560
do you feel in your feet, how relaxed you feel

1395
01:55:36.720 --> 01:56:03.359
in your hands. I have noticed more and more that

1396
01:56:03.560 --> 01:56:19.760
the more relaxed, deeper level of comfort you feel, the

1397
01:56:19.960 --> 01:56:40.520
easier your breathing becomes. It's almost like that additional muscle relaxation.

1398
01:56:44.880 --> 01:57:02.359
So this allows you to breathe easier with our necessarily

1399
01:57:05.199 --> 01:57:33.199
focusing on your breath, however, being able to notice the

1400
01:57:33.239 --> 01:58:03.159
ease in which you breathe so naturally, you breathe so

1401
01:58:03.479 --> 01:58:52.680
very easily and smoothly. Whenever I imagine my breathing improving, when

1402
01:58:52.680 --> 01:59:08.000
I've got my eyes closed, I tend to visualize a

1403
01:59:08.119 --> 01:59:24.680
beautiful field with trees and flowers producing all that life

1404
01:59:24.800 --> 01:59:57.159
giving oxygen and it feels nice too, if nothing else,

1405
02:00:00.359 --> 02:00:34.479
just taking some time away from everything, enjoying that feeling

1406
02:00:34.840 --> 02:01:25.399
of peace, serenity with a joyful heart. Time seems to

1407
02:01:25.640 --> 02:02:00.760
just drip by, so very slowly, relaxed, so deeply, useful,

1408
02:02:10.640 --> 02:03:01.960
completely unattached to any thoughts whatsoever in this moment, completely free,

1409
02:03:19.920 --> 02:04:11.319
noticing that your mind has slowed down. Slowed down because

1410
02:04:11.479 --> 02:04:40.039
nothing really requires your attention. You can enjoy the physical

1411
02:04:40.399 --> 02:04:52.039
sensations of allowing the stress to drip out of your body,

1412
02:04:58.520 --> 02:05:21.680
to appear out of every part of your body. I'm

1413
02:05:21.880 --> 02:06:08.319
being released from your brain, your mind slowly, surely. The

1414
02:06:08.560 --> 02:06:45.600
muscles in your legs relax, res relax so very deeply,

1415
02:06:55.439 --> 02:07:26.439
relash so deeply. And the feelings, the pleasant feelings in

1416
02:07:26.520 --> 02:07:51.039
your arms and shoulders, deepening each part of your body

1417
02:07:54.359 --> 02:08:32.800
further and deeper and deeper, noticine, the feelings in the

1418
02:08:32.840 --> 02:09:33.199
back of your neck, the feelings in your wrists, muscles

1419
02:09:34.840 --> 02:10:27.239
in front of your body, I will say, feeling peace deeply,

1420
02:10:29.119 --> 02:10:30.359
There's a sense.

1421
02:10:30.119 --> 02:10:31.239
Of pace.

1422
02:10:35.279 --> 02:10:39.399
Spreads through your very core.

1423
02:11:09.960 --> 02:11:30.560
Even when you focus on your mind, her mind becomes.

1424
02:11:37.159 --> 02:13:00.000
Be and slower, deeper, relax, a fairy slower, This stomach

1425
02:13:14.159 --> 02:13:57.199
peace falling your stomach held back. Notice, Notice how relaxed

1426
02:14:01.600 --> 02:14:39.560
you now feel in the hole of your back. In

1427
02:14:39.680 --> 02:14:48.720
a spy from your brain all the way down the

1428
02:14:48.720 --> 02:14:59.439
middle of your back, sending and receiving millions of messages

1429
02:15:00.199 --> 02:16:00.359
every day, deep comfort, increasing deeply relaxed. You need, yes,

1430
02:16:25.960 --> 02:16:39.440
relax spreading those signals down your spine or cord into

1431
02:16:40.040 --> 02:16:59.479
every part of your body, your shins and your calf muscles,

1432
02:17:26.680 --> 02:17:56.200
your outbursts, feelings of peace and tranquility, spreading through your body,

1433
02:18:01.200 --> 02:18:17.479
tips of your toes, to your eyes, your fingers, all

1434
02:18:17.520 --> 02:19:03.280
the way till you'll lower back. Letting go, reetting, pace

1435
02:19:19.000 --> 02:19:43.879
to drift in mind, just wander in a way, happy

1436
02:19:44.680 --> 02:20:25.159
to let go, Let go completely, let go, said tranquil

1437
02:20:49.239 --> 02:23:01.600
old buddy, enjoying a sense listening God, he no, hey,

1438
02:23:10.360 --> 02:23:21.559
enjoy the space, this space.

1439
02:23:24.079 --> 02:23:25.200
Of peace.

1440
02:23:28.360 --> 02:25:51.360
And safety, sur ery, letting go. Maybe we can just

1441
02:25:54.239 --> 02:26:03.079
focus on the different parts of your body, just to

1442
02:26:03.360 --> 02:27:32.200
notice you forehead and your eyes mutual, so loose, noticing

1443
02:27:32.399 --> 02:29:07.680
a sense of complete freedom, absolute freedom, day day, peace, energy,

1444
02:29:40.559 --> 02:30:52.280
pace to breeze, so much ease. Yeah, Louis, you may

1445
02:30:56.280 --> 02:31:56.239
or may not have noticed your mind drifting, peaceful move

1446
02:31:56.680 --> 02:32:16.520
an even more deeply in the direction of dital blissphul

1447
02:32:16.879 --> 02:34:24.879
pace blissphul pace directed to pace com sir Colm, let

1448
02:34:24.959 --> 02:35:35.879
him go peace of mind re foty c rex Cirey.

1449
02:36:00.959 --> 02:36:22.680
Your body feels almost invisible, so very.

1450
02:36:22.600 --> 02:36:34.239
Relaxed and paceful, so.

1451
02:36:41.959 --> 02:37:42.959
Pace from let go so so, and you could start

1452
02:37:43.399 --> 02:37:52.959
to notice that you are feeling more relaxed, even though

1453
02:37:53.079 --> 02:38:04.360
I've not purposely focused your mind upon that sense of

1454
02:38:04.719 --> 02:38:10.159
physical comfort that is growing within you throughout your body,

1455
02:38:13.319 --> 02:38:23.040
and your mind starts to slow down, and that could

1456
02:38:23.079 --> 02:38:31.399
be almost in recognition of I guess my speech not

1457
02:38:31.559 --> 02:38:48.680
being particularly fast and things just generally feel calmer. Just

1458
02:38:49.000 --> 02:38:57.559
by listening to my voice, you give yourself an opportunity

1459
02:38:59.280 --> 02:39:04.639
to take a break, break from the day, take a

1460
02:39:04.639 --> 02:39:12.879
break from your life as it is, to give yourself

1461
02:39:12.920 --> 02:39:20.879
a rest, giving yourself permission to take some time off

1462
02:39:23.040 --> 02:39:28.440
and to allow your body to relax and allow your

1463
02:39:28.559 --> 02:39:39.200
mind to slow down, which in turn releases the tension

1464
02:39:40.639 --> 02:39:49.799
any stresses that you had in your body. It's almost

1465
02:39:49.799 --> 02:39:54.000
as if the parts of your body just open up,

1466
02:39:55.280 --> 02:40:06.959
allowing the negativity out and at the same time replacing

1467
02:40:07.760 --> 02:40:17.319
that negativity with positive healing energy which then fills your

1468
02:40:17.360 --> 02:40:29.239
body up and your mind to also starts to appreciate

1469
02:40:30.079 --> 02:40:48.520
those feelings of increasing confidence, an almost uplifting feeling, positive healing,

1470
02:40:51.639 --> 02:40:59.959
an energy that spreads through your body like a way

1471
02:41:02.520 --> 02:41:14.719
of comfort. And all this comes from just allowing yourself

1472
02:41:17.479 --> 02:41:22.719
a few minutes, maybe half an hour, however long you

1473
02:41:22.760 --> 02:41:28.440
want it to be, to just rest.

1474
02:41:32.000 --> 02:41:33.040
And allow.

1475
02:41:35.200 --> 02:41:45.159
Your mind and your body to almost reset itself to

1476
02:41:45.319 --> 02:42:01.520
the settings of comfort and relaxation, calmness, which allows more

1477
02:42:01.639 --> 02:42:15.120
room for feelings of pleasure and happiness to move around

1478
02:42:15.319 --> 02:42:23.559
your body and into your mind, almost as if your

1479
02:42:23.680 --> 02:42:34.280
mind and your body are sinking together, almost mirroring each

1480
02:42:34.440 --> 02:42:50.079
other with that growing positivity and calmness, And it feels nice,

1481
02:42:50.399 --> 02:42:56.319
really does feel nice to know that you are the

1482
02:42:56.399 --> 02:43:09.719
one that has allowed yourself to feel more comfort and

1483
02:43:09.920 --> 02:43:23.840
to experience more of this deep relaxation spreading throughout your body.

1484
02:43:30.799 --> 02:43:36.159
And as I focus on each part of your body,

1485
02:43:38.520 --> 02:43:50.600
you can notice that that part becomes even more relaxed

1486
02:43:52.559 --> 02:44:01.760
just by focusing on it, becomes even more calm and

1487
02:44:01.959 --> 02:44:13.200
comfortable just by focusing. And as I move down your body,

1488
02:44:14.520 --> 02:44:21.120
starting at your head, the parts that you have already

1489
02:44:21.239 --> 02:44:31.120
focused on will continue to relax deeply and those parts

1490
02:44:31.280 --> 02:44:41.600
that have not yet focused on or just automatically release

1491
02:44:42.879 --> 02:44:51.840
any remain intention in anticipation of even more comfort about to.

1492
02:44:51.879 --> 02:44:58.440
Come now.

1493
02:45:00.360 --> 02:45:07.479
And start by focusing on your forehead. Just being aware

1494
02:45:07.760 --> 02:45:16.399
of the feelings of your forehead and any background sounds

1495
02:45:18.159 --> 02:45:23.559
like mister Herbert Opigeon can just allow you to feel

1496
02:45:23.639 --> 02:45:33.680
even more relaxed. Just means you're in the moment. This

1497
02:45:33.799 --> 02:45:38.959
isn't this isn't a sterile environment. This is the world.

1498
02:45:42.360 --> 02:45:48.440
I live in the countryside, so there's lots of nature

1499
02:45:48.959 --> 02:45:59.440
sounds around. So as you focus on your forehead, just

1500
02:45:59.639 --> 02:46:09.760
notice how it becomes even more relaxed as you focus

1501
02:46:09.760 --> 02:46:16.079
only on my voice and that part of your body.

1502
02:46:19.479 --> 02:46:27.760
Moving down to your eyes, focusing on your eyes, noticing

1503
02:46:30.200 --> 02:46:39.920
how your eyelids feel so heavy yet so light at

1504
02:46:39.959 --> 02:46:46.440
the same time, and all the muscles around your eyes

1505
02:46:46.680 --> 02:47:01.120
relaxing completely. Moving your focus down to your mouth, your lips,

1506
02:47:01.559 --> 02:47:11.440
your tongue, your teeth, you comes the whole of your mouth, relaxing,

1507
02:47:14.920 --> 02:47:25.159
calm and lease. As you focus now on your jaw,

1508
02:47:28.600 --> 02:47:32.639
just the parts of your jaw near your mouth and

1509
02:47:32.760 --> 02:47:37.040
your chin, but all the way up the size of

1510
02:47:37.120 --> 02:47:42.760
your face to your ears, the hole.

1511
02:47:43.120 --> 02:47:53.600
Of your jaw feeding more relaxed.

1512
02:47:56.799 --> 02:48:14.360
And calm, focusing on your neck, the front of your

1513
02:48:14.479 --> 02:48:27.000
neck and your throat relaxing and loose and calm. The

1514
02:48:27.319 --> 02:48:33.120
sides of your neck, the right left side of your

1515
02:48:33.239 --> 02:48:52.079
neck relax and loose and calm. And now the back

1516
02:48:52.200 --> 02:48:58.920
of your neck, focusing on the back of your neck,

1517
02:49:04.840 --> 02:49:10.079
letting go of any tension that may have been there before,

1518
02:49:11.879 --> 02:49:23.159
and enjoying that sense of increasing comfort and release.

1519
02:49:25.879 --> 02:49:29.040
Then you can experience in the.

1520
02:49:28.959 --> 02:49:41.239
Back of your neck, moving down your back and moving

1521
02:49:41.479 --> 02:49:45.879
either side of your spine right from the top of

1522
02:49:45.920 --> 02:49:51.479
your back all the way down to the bottom of

1523
02:49:51.520 --> 02:50:08.520
your back, down to your lower back. And as you

1524
02:50:08.719 --> 02:50:16.079
move up and down your spine, you can feel the

1525
02:50:16.280 --> 02:50:31.360
muscles either side of your spine relaxing even more. And

1526
02:50:31.440 --> 02:50:38.319
as those muscles relax, that sense of comfort starts to

1527
02:50:38.399 --> 02:50:48.799
spread outwards from your spine into both sides of your back,

1528
02:50:52.559 --> 02:50:56.280
the top of your back, the middle end your lower back,

1529
02:50:59.719 --> 02:51:07.680
and you scan gently and slowly up and down your back.

1530
02:51:10.040 --> 02:51:14.399
There's the muscles in the top of your back relax

1531
02:51:14.959 --> 02:51:22.559
and become looser. The muscles in the middle of your

1532
02:51:22.639 --> 02:51:30.079
back also seem to just almost divide from each other,

1533
02:51:31.040 --> 02:51:37.200
separating and almost melting.

1534
02:51:42.079 --> 02:51:43.479
And in your lower.

1535
02:51:43.159 --> 02:51:54.000
Back there seems to be an extra special feeling of

1536
02:51:54.120 --> 02:52:06.159
comfort spreads into your hips. Sit down your lower back,

1537
02:52:06.440 --> 02:52:14.440
into your hips, into the area where your cosix are,

1538
02:52:18.000 --> 02:52:24.799
and into your buttocks, and all these muscles that spread

1539
02:52:26.920 --> 02:52:36.680
bring your lower back into your hip area, start to melt,

1540
02:52:41.120 --> 02:52:53.440
start to reading, let go and even know where about

1541
02:52:53.559 --> 02:52:59.600
to focus on your shoulders. Your back and your spine

1542
02:53:00.600 --> 02:53:11.000
will continue till let go, continue to relax.

1543
02:53:13.799 --> 02:53:17.399
So calmly.

1544
02:53:22.120 --> 02:53:27.840
Then she focused on your shoulders. You may notice they're

1545
02:53:27.920 --> 02:53:42.840
already feeling really loose, they're already.

1546
02:53:45.159 --> 02:53:57.520
Feeding calm.

1547
02:53:58.040 --> 02:53:59.319
I feeling.

1548
02:54:03.079 --> 02:54:11.440
Those muscles then move from your neck into your shoulders.

1549
02:54:17.959 --> 02:54:47.319
Feel so soft and gentle, so smooth and calm, And

1550
02:54:47.559 --> 02:55:00.440
the feeling in your shoulders sins to spread deep into

1551
02:55:00.479 --> 02:55:10.920
your shoulders, a sense of relaxation, not just traveling deeply

1552
02:55:11.280 --> 02:55:28.239
into your muscles, but also relaxing the bones and moving

1553
02:55:28.360 --> 02:55:36.680
all the way to underneath your arms, relaxing a whole

1554
02:55:36.840 --> 02:55:51.760
area between the tops of your shoulders and underneath your arms, healing.

1555
02:55:52.600 --> 02:56:05.600
You feel so relaxed and comfortable in your shoulders, which

1556
02:56:05.840 --> 02:56:28.079
sense that's deep healing message into your arms. You may

1557
02:56:28.319 --> 02:56:33.559
feel almost as if your arms are not even there,

1558
02:56:35.079 --> 02:57:11.600
because they're so relaxed, so deeply relaxed, so so calm,

1559
02:57:12.120 --> 02:57:34.159
so this the feels spreading all way down your arms

1560
02:57:36.719 --> 02:58:06.719
to elbows, including your elbows. Comforts spreads away into rists,

1561
02:58:09.559 --> 02:58:12.479
your form sndr.

1562
02:58:12.239 --> 02:58:20.760
Rists so heavy.

1563
02:58:24.000 --> 02:59:05.680
He had the same time, silight and gentle fully sin.

1564
02:59:07.840 --> 02:59:09.360
Now on.

1565
02:59:11.520 --> 02:59:44.280
Your hands, my hands, so peaceful.

1566
02:59:45.319 --> 03:00:05.159
In your hands.

1567
03:00:05.000 --> 03:00:06.600
The sense of.

1568
03:00:09.600 --> 03:00:24.200
Real pace just seems to.

1569
03:00:28.280 --> 03:00:32.680
Feel so familiar.

1570
03:00:35.440 --> 03:02:13.879
On your hands. Relax deeply feels things things fish when

1571
03:02:13.920 --> 03:02:48.319
you think it taps your attention to affront your body

1572
03:03:01.479 --> 03:04:39.120
SARTs the new focus to legs, muscles.

1573
03:04:40.600 --> 03:07:41.159
In your fids names sorya calf muscles. Just shavescausi fee then.

1574
03:07:42.920 --> 03:08:42.120
Faints, Sir pays on cycon Sir peaceful, sircom su peaceful.

1575
03:08:44.760 --> 03:08:50.040
Sycom so.

1576
03:08:52.000 --> 03:09:24.399
Peace for RelA same peace fall go love that deep

1577
03:09:24.559 --> 03:09:31.159
relaxation to spread your chest story.

1578
03:09:35.559 --> 03:09:49.559
Relaxed. Let's me go everything.

1579
03:10:00.799 --> 03:10:06.799
So I'm gonna start counting down now, from twenty down

1580
03:10:06.879 --> 03:10:15.000
to one. You can imagine in a way it's like

1581
03:10:15.799 --> 03:10:22.239
just walking down some steps and each step or twenty steps,

1582
03:10:22.319 --> 03:10:31.440
and each step represents a level of comfort. Each step

1583
03:10:32.000 --> 03:10:47.520
represents a deepening of that comfort, and the furthes you

1584
03:10:47.680 --> 03:10:53.719
walk down those steps that deeper and more relaxed you feel.

1585
03:11:00.440 --> 03:13:35.159
So starting with number twenty twenty nineteen eighteen seventeen sixty

1586
03:14:50.799 --> 03:17:41.719
three fourhhhhhhhhhhhh f s too well.

1587
03:21:49.000 --> 03:22:00.120
Hhhhhhhhh ay it.

1588
03:24:37.200 --> 03:25:53.079
Six five.

1589
03:26:05.440 --> 03:29:16.120
Us us.

1590
03:29:39.760 --> 03:29:43.719
The usual.

1591
03:30:50.200 --> 03:31:56.959
One. Now, as you focus on your eyes, you're gonna

1592
03:31:57.040 --> 03:32:08.520
count down from tenning down to one, focusing just on

1593
03:32:08.680 --> 03:32:19.600
your eyes, your eyelids, the muscles around your eyes, your

1594
03:32:19.680 --> 03:32:28.680
eye walls themselves, a whole area that makes up your eye.

1595
03:32:39.680 --> 03:32:44.879
And as we count down from ten down to one,

1596
03:32:47.440 --> 03:33:00.440
whilst focus in on your eyes, you become twice is

1597
03:33:00.600 --> 03:33:12.440
relaxed with each number counting down that you may find

1598
03:33:16.639 --> 03:33:22.360
the all you want to do is just drift off

1599
03:33:22.719 --> 03:33:31.840
to sleep. And if that's what you want, then just

1600
03:33:32.000 --> 03:33:45.120
allow yourself to do that. Now, focusing on your eyes,

1601
03:33:47.239 --> 03:33:52.600
I'm going to begin counting down from ten down to

1602
03:33:52.799 --> 03:36:01.799
one right now, nine eighth seven.

1603
03:38:05.239 --> 03:39:16.680
Five four.

1604
03:40:29.920 --> 03:42:20.319
Three us.

1605
03:43:04.040 --> 03:43:25.360
One. So counting down from ten to one ten nine

1606
03:43:27.079 --> 03:43:54.799
eight seven six five four three two one. And maybe

1607
03:43:54.920 --> 03:43:57.840
that was a bit too quick in order to relax.

1608
03:43:59.079 --> 03:44:03.280
Maybe it's a bit too fast for you to notice

1609
03:44:03.559 --> 03:44:11.600
the calming of your body, maybe even a little bit

1610
03:44:11.680 --> 03:44:15.280
of pressure there. Like you'll count it down from ten

1611
03:44:15.399 --> 03:44:19.079
to one. Would you expect me to do? Man, expect

1612
03:44:19.120 --> 03:44:22.399
me to just to go with floppy just because you're

1613
03:44:22.520 --> 03:44:31.879
counting down. You can try it again, but this time

1614
03:44:31.959 --> 03:44:37.959
I'll go a bit slower this time, as you focus

1615
03:44:38.360 --> 03:44:42.920
on the whole of your body before we focus on

1616
03:44:43.040 --> 03:44:53.399
your legs. Just notice how your body does start to

1617
03:44:53.920 --> 03:46:37.879
feel more relaxed. Every number that I count down ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, one,

1618
03:46:49.239 --> 03:46:54.920
I just notice how how you feel, generally, how your

1619
03:46:54.959 --> 03:47:09.799
body feels. It's not necessarily even about counting down from

1620
03:47:09.920 --> 03:47:17.559
ten to one. It's that space that you have, that

1621
03:47:20.159 --> 03:47:41.079
space between being active physically or mentally. It's just sitting

1622
03:47:41.319 --> 03:47:46.120
or lying down, just being there, not doing anything, not

1623
03:47:46.440 --> 03:47:53.440
saying anything, or needing to think about anything. So it

1624
03:47:53.559 --> 03:47:57.120
opens up a space, you know, a bit of a space,

1625
03:47:58.079 --> 03:48:07.920
a gap. And the more I came down from ten

1626
03:48:08.000 --> 03:48:15.360
to one, the bigger that gap becomes. So there's that

1627
03:48:15.600 --> 03:48:27.799
gap of calmness, of comfort and relaxation. It's a nice

1628
03:48:27.879 --> 03:48:41.840
feeling and it moves those stresses or discomforts physically or

1629
03:48:41.879 --> 03:48:43.920
emotionally moves.

1630
03:48:45.799 --> 03:48:46.200
Away.

1631
03:48:52.959 --> 03:48:53.920
Allows you.

1632
03:48:56.639 --> 03:48:57.159
To just.

1633
03:49:00.159 --> 03:49:06.440
Slow down. Someone to count a game from ten down

1634
03:49:06.520 --> 03:49:16.479
to one, and notice that gap widening, the gap, And

1635
03:49:16.600 --> 03:49:21.040
as it widens, it's almost like the the stress and

1636
03:49:21.200 --> 03:49:38.760
attention falls into the gap and gives you that distance,

1637
03:49:40.799 --> 03:49:41.559
that space.

1638
03:49:43.959 --> 03:49:49.399
Now ten.

1639
03:49:53.760 --> 03:51:03.680
Nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three.

1640
03:51:19.760 --> 03:51:38.719
Two one.

1641
03:51:50.600 --> 03:52:11.760
How did your body feel? Can you notice that? Do

1642
03:52:11.879 --> 03:52:48.479
you feeling calmer? Are you feeling more relaxed? As we

1643
03:52:48.639 --> 03:53:08.879
now focus on your legs, Just your legs. You're just

1644
03:53:09.000 --> 03:53:29.000
gonna start with focusing on your thighs. Of course, it's

1645
03:53:29.079 --> 03:53:37.719
not the most exciting thing to be doing because I'm sure,

1646
03:53:37.840 --> 03:53:40.440
like most of your body is not a lot going

1647
03:53:40.520 --> 03:53:53.200
on right now. Just focusing on the whole of your thighs,

1648
03:53:56.040 --> 03:53:59.719
the tops of your thighs, the sides of your fighs,

1649
03:54:01.959 --> 03:54:06.399
the bottoms of your thighs, your outer thighs, and your

1650
03:54:06.520 --> 03:54:11.760
inner thighs. Basically the whole of your thigh that leads

1651
03:54:12.799 --> 03:54:28.319
into your hip and it goes down to your knee joints. Now,

1652
03:54:28.440 --> 03:54:35.440
this is a big area. It's a very heavy area.

1653
03:54:35.959 --> 03:54:41.920
It's very strong, probably the strongest muscles in your body

1654
03:54:42.639 --> 03:54:56.879
or in your thighs. But I don't think we perhaps

1655
03:54:58.680 --> 03:55:08.920
will give enough attention and to our thighs. Perhaps we

1656
03:55:09.079 --> 03:55:19.680
don't and acknowledge how important our thighs are to our lives,

1657
03:55:31.239 --> 03:55:40.639
how much they actually do for us all through our lives.

1658
03:55:47.799 --> 03:55:53.639
And it may seem sound really weird, but I think

1659
03:55:53.719 --> 03:56:00.639
that all of our body parts, especially our thighs, need

1660
03:56:00.840 --> 03:56:15.280
some TLC, a bit of love shown, a bit of acknowledgement,

1661
03:56:18.040 --> 03:56:33.719
thank you, gratitude for our thighs do for us. And

1662
03:56:33.840 --> 03:56:39.680
I know this may sound a bit strange. Maybe you think,

1663
03:56:40.120 --> 03:56:42.879
why am I sure that I should be out in

1664
03:56:43.000 --> 03:56:51.559
the garden hugging a tree or something. Well, it's hard

1665
03:56:51.639 --> 03:56:54.760
to set a microphone up on a tree. That's why

1666
03:56:54.760 --> 03:56:57.440
I'm doing this indoors. Otherwise I wouldn't be outside hugging

1667
03:56:57.479 --> 03:57:07.799
a tree. I can't see it's division from three if

1668
03:57:07.799 --> 03:57:13.159
you move down to your knees gain such an important part.

1669
03:57:17.479 --> 03:57:22.360
And I think we don't necessarily. I'll speak for myself,

1670
03:57:25.079 --> 03:57:30.159
I don't necessarily appreciate all that my needs do for

1671
03:57:30.319 --> 03:57:36.120
me until I have a problem with my knee. It's

1672
03:57:36.200 --> 03:57:41.239
occasionally if I ever maybe i'll bash it or it's

1673
03:57:41.440 --> 03:57:47.920
aching for some reason. It's then that I realize how

1674
03:57:48.159 --> 03:57:52.040
much it does. You know, the benefit of being able

1675
03:57:52.079 --> 03:58:00.639
to use my legs without any kind of physical comfort

1676
03:58:02.239 --> 03:58:09.280
is a beautiful thing that's possibly not appreciated until it's

1677
03:58:09.920 --> 03:58:19.319
temporarily removed. You know that's comfort. But as you focus

1678
03:58:19.399 --> 03:58:27.280
on your knees, regardless of how your knees feel, you

1679
03:58:27.360 --> 03:58:33.200
can have that sense of gratitude and love to your

1680
03:58:33.280 --> 03:58:45.879
knees for all that they do for you, and you

1681
03:58:45.959 --> 03:58:50.440
can still have that attention on your thighs. Maybe notice

1682
03:58:50.520 --> 03:58:57.360
how your thighs feel. Maybe you've noticed that they are

1683
03:58:59.200 --> 03:59:15.559
relaxing more deeply as you focus now on the bottoms

1684
03:59:15.639 --> 03:59:20.040
of your legs, your shins and your calf muscles. The

1685
03:59:20.159 --> 03:59:27.799
bones between your knees and your feet incorporate, and of

1686
03:59:27.920 --> 03:59:40.319
course your ankles so important. Anyone that's had even there,

1687
03:59:40.520 --> 03:59:47.159
like the slightest sprain of an ankle knows how how

1688
03:59:47.399 --> 03:59:57.520
much we take our ankles for granted. And it's kind

1689
03:59:57.559 --> 04:00:03.040
of strange in a way when you think that. You know, logically,

1690
04:00:03.399 --> 04:00:06.479
our wrists are a lot thinner than the rest of

1691
04:00:06.559 --> 04:00:11.239
our arms, which is okay, it doesn't I can't see

1692
04:00:11.239 --> 04:00:14.719
any problem with that because we're just picking stuff up

1693
04:00:16.360 --> 04:00:21.920
by our ankles so much thinner than the rest of

1694
04:00:22.000 --> 04:00:32.879
our legs, and from a physics perspective or logical even

1695
04:00:32.959 --> 04:00:38.680
it doesn't really make sense that all this weight would

1696
04:00:38.760 --> 04:00:45.920
ultimately be resting on your ankles then leading to your feet,

1697
04:00:50.520 --> 04:00:59.319
that thin area, thin bone. Yeah, it does so much

1698
04:00:59.440 --> 04:01:06.479
great work. Supports us, supports our body for a lifetime,

1699
04:01:11.280 --> 04:01:16.159
helps us to balance, It helps.

1700
04:01:15.879 --> 04:01:16.200
You to.

1701
04:01:20.159 --> 04:01:29.399
Get around and be mobile. And there's the calf muscles.

1702
04:01:29.440 --> 04:01:37.040
Of course, when I was younger, I couldn't see the

1703
04:01:37.120 --> 04:01:43.440
pointing calf muscles. Didn't seem to do anything. Okay, if

1704
04:01:43.479 --> 04:01:47.040
I walked around on tiptoes, then my calf muscles get

1705
04:01:47.120 --> 04:01:50.840
some work. But of course that's not true. The calf

1706
04:01:50.959 --> 04:02:00.559
muscles are being used whenever we use the legs and

1707
04:02:00.719 --> 04:02:13.239
your shins there to protect your lower legs, shaped in

1708
04:02:13.319 --> 04:02:25.879
a way almost as a protector for the bone, leading

1709
04:02:27.239 --> 04:02:37.639
of course to your ankles and your feet. But we're

1710
04:02:37.680 --> 04:02:39.600
not going to focus on your feet. We're just going

1711
04:02:39.639 --> 04:02:46.040
to focus on the legs. I realize, and now that

1712
04:02:46.159 --> 04:02:50.559
I've mentioned your feet, you'll probably focus on number anyway,

1713
04:02:51.120 --> 04:02:53.680
So maybe I should focus on your feet a little bit.

1714
04:02:57.680 --> 04:03:02.120
You can have them in your awareness the same as

1715
04:03:02.200 --> 04:03:06.559
you have your thighs in your awareness. Even though we

1716
04:03:06.680 --> 04:03:10.680
haven't been focusing on your thighs for a few minutes

1717
04:03:12.399 --> 04:03:23.239
and we're focusing on your ankles, there's still that sensation

1718
04:03:23.520 --> 04:03:38.840
of comfort in your thighs, and there's that movement of

1719
04:03:39.200 --> 04:03:48.639
energy because the thighs hold lots of different sensations. Of course,

1720
04:03:48.719 --> 04:03:53.479
there's the muscles, the big straw muscles that we have

1721
04:03:53.680 --> 04:04:07.000
in our thighs, but the skin on the outside of

1722
04:04:07.079 --> 04:04:12.399
the thighs, as in the outside of all of our body,

1723
04:04:13.200 --> 04:04:24.799
can be very sensitive, sensitive to the touch, sensitive to temperature,

1724
04:04:31.319 --> 04:04:38.879
and inside your thighs the bones, there's the muscle, there's

1725
04:04:38.920 --> 04:04:43.719
the blood, vessels, the ar trees, to all this stuff

1726
04:04:43.799 --> 04:04:52.920
that's inside your thighs. I guess sometimes it'd be nice

1727
04:04:52.920 --> 04:04:57.239
if you could actually put your fingers inside your thighs

1728
04:04:57.879 --> 04:05:03.079
and a message, so you can message on the outside,

1729
04:05:03.239 --> 04:05:06.239
of course, but to be able to get deep into

1730
04:05:06.319 --> 04:05:11.760
the muscles, to be able to just massage inside your thighs,

1731
04:05:12.639 --> 04:05:21.079
message in the bones of your leg, massage in or

1732
04:05:21.159 --> 04:05:32.319
the veins, just gently healing your thighs. You can move

1733
04:05:32.520 --> 04:05:39.840
down message and inside your knees, just message in those bones.

1734
04:05:40.879 --> 04:05:47.920
But with healing fingertips, spreading the healing energy deep into

1735
04:05:48.000 --> 04:05:57.680
the choice your knees. Of course, there's the back of

1736
04:05:57.840 --> 04:06:05.719
your you need inside crease where your need is. It's

1737
04:06:05.719 --> 04:06:11.280
a very sensitive area. Very it feels very nice when

1738
04:06:11.319 --> 04:06:16.000
you stroke it. That might be because it's an area

1739
04:06:16.079 --> 04:06:21.159
that's not really touched very often. It's almost like a

1740
04:06:21.319 --> 04:06:28.120
hidden part, that crease on your legs. It's almost.

1741
04:06:30.079 --> 04:06:30.799
Like a part that.

1742
04:06:32.600 --> 04:06:43.840
Has a sensitivity, which is a little bit different. Of course,

1743
04:06:43.879 --> 04:06:54.360
it's protected by your legs. So you can imagine putting

1744
04:06:55.280 --> 04:07:05.600
your fingers into that crease in your legs, folding between

1745
04:07:05.680 --> 04:07:10.760
your legs. You can just message with your fingertips. Imagine

1746
04:07:10.760 --> 04:07:17.159
your fingertips going inside, massage in the muscle or tissue

1747
04:07:21.760 --> 04:07:27.920
you can cause, field the bones of your knees, heading

1748
04:07:28.200 --> 04:07:40.879
through your fingertips, and then if you go down to

1749
04:07:40.959 --> 04:07:43.760
your calf muscles, and that's the part. I'd like to

1750
04:07:43.799 --> 04:07:49.239
be able to really put my fingertips deep inside my

1751
04:07:49.440 --> 04:07:57.159
calf muscles, massage in every single tissue of.

1752
04:07:57.280 --> 04:07:58.520
That muscle.

1753
04:07:59.680 --> 04:08:09.639
Here, every part, and then doing the same for my shins.

1754
04:08:12.840 --> 04:08:21.280
Massage generally stroking the bones, generally stroking them, healing in

1755
04:08:21.399 --> 04:08:28.600
a loving way. Because they deserve to be treated. There's

1756
04:08:28.680 --> 04:08:32.680
the precious bones that they are, because our legs are

1757
04:08:32.719 --> 04:08:36.520
so precious as in all the other parts of our body,

1758
04:08:39.040 --> 04:08:52.760
the more precious of any chore on the planet. When

1759
04:08:52.760 --> 04:09:00.760
when you start to think about the legs in this way,

1760
04:09:05.319 --> 04:09:15.360
it can change your perspective. It might sound bit bit

1761
04:09:15.600 --> 04:09:21.079
silly to start with the idea of having love for

1762
04:09:21.159 --> 04:09:30.479
your legs, showing appreciation for your thighs, wanting to be

1763
04:09:30.559 --> 04:09:38.000
able to put your hands in your thighs, massage the

1764
04:09:38.159 --> 04:09:44.040
muscles and the bones, and to get your fingers deep

1765
04:09:44.159 --> 04:09:53.559
in there, releasing all at tension, just to show how

1766
04:09:53.680 --> 04:10:01.079
much you care about your legs, how much you care

1767
04:10:01.440 --> 04:10:09.440
for what your legs do for you regularly, your knees,

1768
04:10:09.680 --> 04:10:22.520
your cars, your ankles. The strength of your ankles, considering

1769
04:10:22.760 --> 04:10:27.239
how thin they are compared to the rest of your legs,

1770
04:10:27.399 --> 04:10:41.040
especially your thighs. Yeah, they're so strong, so flexible, absolutely

1771
04:10:41.319 --> 04:10:53.159
amazing things. Your ankles are truly a gift because of

1772
04:10:53.200 --> 04:11:01.840
what they do for you. Brought in all that weight,

1773
04:11:03.840 --> 04:11:08.239
regardless of how what weight you are, even if you

1774
04:11:08.360 --> 04:11:13.399
only ate stoning, there's still a lot of weight for

1775
04:11:13.520 --> 04:11:20.239
these little ankles. How am a lot heavier than eight

1776
04:11:20.319 --> 04:11:30.959
stone double dock. Yet my ankles support my body all

1777
04:11:31.000 --> 04:11:31.399
the time.

1778
04:11:35.159 --> 04:11:35.760
Whether they do.

1779
04:11:36.559 --> 04:11:38.840
Give off a sigh of relief when I sit down,

1780
04:11:41.159 --> 04:11:49.120
that's in fact, my whole legs thick, my feet feele

1781
04:11:49.280 --> 04:12:16.959
to go, my toes clap so happy. Your legs really

1782
04:12:18.440 --> 04:12:24.840
are amazing. And I know you're talking about. Talking about

1783
04:12:24.959 --> 04:12:31.239
your legs is probably possibly one of the most most

1784
04:12:31.319 --> 04:12:39.000
boring things I've ever heard anyone say. Possibly you're boring

1785
04:12:39.120 --> 04:12:47.280
or not. Everything I said is true. Your legs are amazing.

1786
04:12:56.239 --> 04:13:07.360
Your legs deserve not just respect, they deserve to relax.

1787
04:13:08.719 --> 04:13:09.079
Deeply.

1788
04:13:16.399 --> 04:13:19.719
They deserve to take some time out of the day

1789
04:13:21.920 --> 04:13:58.799
to just let completely. The legs really can relax because

1790
04:13:58.879 --> 04:14:02.799
the legs are so such a most you know, very

1791
04:14:02.879 --> 04:14:08.719
important part of your body. When your relax recks, the

1792
04:14:08.879 --> 04:14:20.079
rest of your body also naturally follows in that journey

1793
04:14:20.200 --> 04:14:31.920
of comfort. Like I feel it in my hips. My

1794
04:14:32.120 --> 04:14:39.440
hips feel really loose, and also my lower back as well.

1795
04:14:41.479 --> 04:14:47.200
My lower back really feels it feels stretched, even though

1796
04:14:47.239 --> 04:14:50.879
I'm just sitting in a chair and there's no stretching

1797
04:14:53.559 --> 04:14:56.760
as far as I'm aware that I'm doing. It's almost

1798
04:14:56.760 --> 04:15:00.559
as if the muscles are just relaxed so much that

1799
04:15:00.719 --> 04:15:07.760
there is a natural stretch as a tension has reduced

1800
04:15:09.200 --> 04:15:27.760
a lot. And I'm now going to count down from

1801
04:15:28.440 --> 04:15:29.520
ten downs of one.

1802
04:15:34.040 --> 04:15:35.760
You can continue.

1803
04:15:36.959 --> 04:15:37.840
To film.

1804
04:15:39.280 --> 04:15:41.000
Wonderfully relaxed.

1805
04:15:44.280 --> 04:15:48.559
Ten nine.

1806
04:15:51.440 --> 04:16:03.479
Eight, seven, six, five.

1807
04:16:07.879 --> 04:16:11.959
Four three.

1808
04:16:15.840 --> 04:16:20.920
Two one.

1809
04:16:26.760 --> 04:16:27.399
Relax.

1810
04:16:35.239 --> 04:16:39.079
So I'm just going to count down from five down

1811
04:16:39.159 --> 04:16:43.600
to one. And as a countdown, if you just focus

1812
04:16:43.680 --> 04:16:51.639
on the numbers, just the numbers counting down, and notice

1813
04:16:52.520 --> 04:17:01.000
how you feel in this moment you hear the numbers

1814
04:17:01.120 --> 04:17:09.799
counting down, knowing that those numbers counting down represent you

1815
04:17:11.639 --> 04:17:21.600
feeling calmer, not just in your body, but also relaxing

1816
04:17:21.719 --> 04:17:28.200
your mind. I just notice how you feel. There's nothing

1817
04:17:28.920 --> 04:17:34.239
to do, there's nothing to say, there's nothing to think about,

1818
04:17:37.319 --> 04:17:59.719
starting with number five, four, three.

1819
04:18:10.079 --> 04:18:16.479
To one.

1820
04:18:25.959 --> 04:18:32.399
How as you notice the gradual.

1821
04:18:34.639 --> 04:18:35.200
Letting go.

1822
04:18:37.760 --> 04:18:44.840
The tension in your body, you may also begin to

1823
04:18:45.159 --> 04:18:52.440
notice and be aware of how your mind is starting

1824
04:18:52.879 --> 04:19:00.840
to slow down. This is just a natural thing that happens.

1825
04:19:03.479 --> 04:19:08.680
It's not really a special procedure. It's just natural. Because

1826
04:19:08.840 --> 04:19:14.639
is your body relaxes, your mind also starts to relax.

1827
04:19:16.239 --> 04:19:19.879
And the more your mind relaxes, the more your body relaxes.

1828
04:19:20.040 --> 04:19:30.520
It's just a continuous circle of relaxation, and there's that

1829
04:19:31.799 --> 04:19:39.680
calmness that comes from relative quietness. You know, even even

1830
04:19:39.719 --> 04:19:46.680
if there's background sounds either your side, online, it's still

1831
04:19:47.159 --> 04:19:52.440
going to be quite calm. You know, you haven't got

1832
04:19:52.479 --> 04:19:57.639
the television on, there's no music in the background unless

1833
04:19:57.680 --> 04:19:59.479
you're listening to the recorded with music.

1834
04:19:59.600 --> 04:20:06.840
Of course, you're very likely not going to be sitting

1835
04:20:06.879 --> 04:20:10.040
in a room with other people. Of course you might be,

1836
04:20:10.239 --> 04:20:14.079
but generally it's more ideal if you.

1837
04:20:14.159 --> 04:20:25.040
Can do this on your own, so no distractions, and

1838
04:20:25.159 --> 04:20:40.360
when you stop thinking about stuff, relaxation automatically rises. A

1839
04:20:40.520 --> 04:20:51.159
sense of comfort starts to grow, and without trying to

1840
04:20:51.280 --> 04:21:02.200
build it up into something fantastical or something magical, this

1841
04:21:02.399 --> 04:21:12.319
is just a natural process, something that's easy to accomplish.

1842
04:21:15.159 --> 04:21:22.520
In fact, it's almost the sense of relaxing completely happens

1843
04:21:22.680 --> 04:21:27.440
really when you put no effort into it. It's not

1844
04:21:27.639 --> 04:21:36.120
something that you can really force. It's something that happens naturally.

1845
04:21:39.079 --> 04:21:46.360
And part of the process of this recording and others

1846
04:21:47.959 --> 04:21:59.959
is simply two allow you to take advantage of this space.

1847
04:22:02.200 --> 04:22:06.440
This time, just.

1848
04:22:10.600 --> 04:22:18.159
Let go to just be here, to be in tune

1849
04:22:21.840 --> 04:22:33.920
with how you feel, yet with the intention of wanting

1850
04:22:34.239 --> 04:22:46.319
to relax deeply, that maybe even to fall asleep, depending

1851
04:22:46.559 --> 04:22:52.760
on what it is that you wish for yourself in

1852
04:22:52.920 --> 04:23:09.040
this moment. As we know, relaxing is the majority of

1853
04:23:09.200 --> 04:23:13.760
the process of falling asleep. The actual falling asleep part

1854
04:23:14.040 --> 04:23:22.239
is the tiny bit at the end. The deeper relaxed

1855
04:23:22.600 --> 04:23:44.719
you become, the easier you find yourself drifting. You can also,

1856
04:23:44.879 --> 04:23:54.920
if you choose stay focused on my voice and really

1857
04:23:55.399 --> 04:24:25.120
enjoy the process, gradually relaxing each muscle in your body

1858
04:24:30.200 --> 04:24:59.319
effortlessly and just observing the sensation of letting go completely.

1859
04:25:05.360 --> 04:25:09.399
This time, I'm gonna count from six down to one,

1860
04:25:14.200 --> 04:25:23.440
and you can notice your mind calming down more with

1861
04:25:23.840 --> 04:25:37.479
each number that you hear me say, naturally, feeling calm

1862
04:25:38.000 --> 04:28:37.600
and slow, be peaceful. Sex five four three on being

1863
04:28:37.959 --> 04:28:53.719
aware how your mind to slowe right down, sinking deeply

1864
04:28:56.520 --> 04:29:18.319
into relaxation as you focus on your wind, I notice

1865
04:29:18.559 --> 04:29:27.680
that there are some thoughts still there, maybe some stubborn

1866
04:29:27.879 --> 04:29:36.600
thoughts that for some reason perhaps need your attention.

1867
04:29:43.440 --> 04:29:44.840
That's what you can do is.

1868
04:29:50.440 --> 04:30:02.920
Send love to those thoughts. Sprinkle those thoughts with love,

1869
04:30:04.680 --> 04:30:08.840
My little petals from a flower. Just sprinkle over them

1870
04:30:10.360 --> 04:30:17.479
petals feel good love towards those thoughts to let those

1871
04:30:17.719 --> 04:30:24.120
thoughts know that you're not abandon the number. You just

1872
04:30:24.639 --> 04:30:34.639
need them. You require them to just calm down, slow down,

1873
04:30:37.000 --> 04:30:51.879
quiet down for now. So as you focus on those

1874
04:30:52.639 --> 04:30:57.520
remaining thoughts. As we count down this time from seven

1875
04:30:58.440 --> 04:31:07.120
down to one of each number, just imagine sprinkling those

1876
04:31:07.360 --> 04:31:26.799
flower petals of love, kindness, gratitude over those thoughts, which

1877
04:31:26.840 --> 04:31:37.000
will allow them to just not away relax deeply. With

1878
04:31:37.159 --> 04:31:51.399
every number, those thoughts will become more and more relaxed,

1879
04:31:57.040 --> 04:34:36.639
starting if not a seven six four, note how relaxed

1880
04:34:40.520 --> 04:34:56.080
your feeling in your body? We got to focus.

1881
04:34:59.520 --> 04:35:00.560
On your hands.

1882
04:35:06.560 --> 04:35:13.520
It's the boy extra hands on the wax your body

1883
04:35:14.520 --> 04:35:35.520
and my dog. Yes, you focus on your hands and

1884
04:35:35.680 --> 04:35:45.720
your fingers. It's nothing needed to be done. There's no

1885
04:35:46.000 --> 04:35:50.919
clenching of fists of dance and the fingers or anything

1886
04:35:51.040 --> 04:35:51.319
like that.

1887
04:35:58.759 --> 04:36:02.159
It's just like to say, how freak.

1888
04:36:04.040 --> 04:36:33.080
On your hands to siprely feel because the relaks your

1889
04:36:33.279 --> 04:36:47.000
hands feel, I can't by your mind feels comforts you

1890
04:36:47.200 --> 04:37:27.319
feel around your body? Gee, many wordy latist is starting.

1891
04:37:30.599 --> 04:37:53.159
Tread like said, just my hands and fingers.

1892
04:38:00.279 --> 04:38:13.599
Cheap thinxperience, a real deepening of that relaxation in your

1893
04:38:13.759 --> 04:38:40.880
hands and fingers, a more relaxed With each number etes

1894
04:38:43.279 --> 04:38:59.000
down to one, almost feel that healing relax imagy spreading

1895
04:39:00.200 --> 04:39:28.000
into your hands, fingers, becoming relaxing each number he cut

1896
04:39:28.240 --> 04:39:42.240
down eight down to one, to drift down, to drift

1897
04:39:42.360 --> 04:40:39.759
him again, to start it with number seven.

1898
04:42:28.520 --> 04:42:28.759
Three.

1899
04:43:48.520 --> 04:43:57.799
Just being here now, nothing to think about, nothing to do,

1900
04:43:59.400 --> 04:44:13.720
nothing to say, and everything just feels calm. This is

1901
04:44:14.799 --> 04:44:21.599
your natural state of being. This is how you just

1902
04:44:22.720 --> 04:44:23.560
normally if.

1903
04:44:23.439 --> 04:44:23.759
You're a.

1904
04:44:25.439 --> 04:44:29.240
Take away that unstuff.

1905
04:44:31.639 --> 04:44:32.560
Can you add.

1906
04:44:34.319 --> 04:44:36.439
Thinks like stress and way.

1907
04:44:39.599 --> 04:44:41.000
I think can.

1908
04:44:43.639 --> 04:44:52.000
Anxiet thinking about.

1909
04:44:54.240 --> 04:44:59.159
You take that away? This is what you do now.

1910
04:45:05.599 --> 04:45:06.360
He left with.

1911
04:45:09.080 --> 04:45:17.520
A little sense of pasions which comes to you her

1912
04:45:17.720 --> 04:45:31.400
quickly because anso please is just a feeling of feeling

1913
04:45:32.439 --> 04:45:40.040
of comfort, most as if you've got inside yourself, you've

1914
04:45:40.200 --> 04:45:44.279
found in a special place where.

1915
04:45:46.479 --> 04:45:51.319
Everything is pas.

1916
04:45:54.479 --> 04:45:59.240
Place. Week in the film relaxed you a.

1917
04:46:01.799 --> 04:46:14.759
Sense of confidence. Play sweet and think we can accept

1918
04:46:14.880 --> 04:46:21.639
yourself and you I swear joy.

1919
04:46:23.240 --> 04:46:31.400
And please anybody else I sweet?

1920
04:46:31.560 --> 04:46:39.560
Actually not just love yourself.

1921
04:46:40.680 --> 04:46:43.840
In some ways more importantly than like.

1922
04:46:44.080 --> 04:46:48.759
Yourself appreciate.

1923
04:46:49.479 --> 04:46:50.599
Who do you want?

1924
04:46:59.360 --> 04:47:01.119
That's regretitude.

1925
04:47:04.560 --> 04:47:20.040
The air round. That's also a place where at feel.

1926
04:47:21.400 --> 04:47:25.240
The heaving energy soaking.

1927
04:47:25.119 --> 04:47:26.040
Into your body.

1928
04:47:32.720 --> 04:47:37.759
Heaving energy soaking into your body.

1929
04:47:43.200 --> 04:47:54.040
Heaving energy spreads through your face, turn it each every

1930
04:47:54.319 --> 04:47:55.599
single part.

1931
04:47:57.159 --> 04:47:57.799
Of your body.

1932
04:48:03.959 --> 04:48:08.159
We start to realize to actually that healing.

1933
04:48:08.040 --> 04:48:12.880
Energy it's not just entered into your.

1934
04:48:12.880 --> 04:48:25.919
Brain, it's beelt part of your brain. The spinal fluid.

1935
04:48:28.200 --> 04:48:36.200
Is now mixed me the energy not just.

1936
04:48:38.319 --> 04:48:44.799
Allowing you to feel so much more relaxed and healthy

1937
04:48:46.319 --> 04:48:57.119
in this moment, but also we start to realize that

1938
04:48:57.360 --> 04:49:09.200
actually what's happening now, that hearing relaxing energy spreading through

1939
04:49:09.360 --> 04:49:22.680
your body is actually changing your life, suctually changing.

1940
04:49:22.319 --> 04:49:27.360
The way you're going to feel, not just now, but

1941
04:49:27.560 --> 04:49:38.119
tomorrow the next day. Use your health improves, not just

1942
04:49:38.279 --> 04:49:46.200
your physical health, for your mental health. Things the yeast

1943
04:49:46.240 --> 04:49:49.840
to bother you in the past, for.

1944
04:49:50.000 --> 04:49:56.000
Some reason, no longer have the effect to the east

1945
04:49:59.119 --> 04:50:01.840
because something is changed.

1946
04:50:02.959 --> 04:50:04.200
Deeper within you.

1947
04:50:09.319 --> 04:50:15.680
Maybe things they used to cause you to feel anger

1948
04:50:19.520 --> 04:50:26.840
do not heaven that how to control you.

1949
04:50:29.479 --> 04:50:31.759
May they seem to be able to before.

1950
04:50:35.439 --> 04:50:46.240
If you realize that you're the one who decides what

1951
04:50:46.599 --> 04:50:59.919
affects you one who decides to feel relaxed and calm.

1952
04:51:01.360 --> 04:51:03.520
When you choose.

1953
04:51:06.759 --> 04:51:21.720
To enjoy noticing these natural developments healing continuing to grow

1954
04:51:24.520 --> 04:51:35.159
and improve your life day by day. I need to

1955
04:51:35.279 --> 04:51:48.680
of course, your ability to relax so much easier. Sleeping.

1956
04:51:53.279 --> 04:51:58.959
It's the most natural thing in the world to you

1957
04:52:03.439 --> 04:52:06.439
because fall in the sleep is something.

1958
04:52:06.159 --> 04:52:17.240
That you've done so many times in your life. You

1959
04:52:17.400 --> 04:52:21.880
know that you were, as we all were, with.

1960
04:52:22.520 --> 04:52:40.080
The ability fall asleep, naturally born with that ability. Just drifted.

1961
04:52:41.360 --> 04:52:46.080
Off too, a deep, healing sleep.

1962
04:52:52.040 --> 04:52:57.119
Even when we're kids, sometimes you'll fall asleep or done

1963
04:52:57.159 --> 04:52:57.799
you the want to.

1964
04:52:59.680 --> 04:53:04.959
Should do stay awake. Maybe it's birthday in the morning,

1965
04:53:05.119 --> 04:53:08.240
or it's Christmas or holiday or.

1966
04:53:08.279 --> 04:53:11.200
Something we look forward to that want you go to sleep.

1967
04:53:13.599 --> 04:53:18.840
The war you want to stay awake, the more would

1968
04:53:18.919 --> 04:53:19.680
you start to.

1969
04:53:19.840 --> 04:53:27.400
Drift, and the more you finds drifting.

1970
04:53:27.840 --> 04:53:30.720
Or try to study sing drifting the same.

1971
04:53:32.919 --> 04:53:45.119
Deeper, stronger thout drifting becomes because we're gone not just

1972
04:53:45.279 --> 04:53:52.000
with the need to relax deeply to eventually fall asleep,

1973
04:53:55.200 --> 04:53:56.599
but it's our birthright.

1974
04:54:00.040 --> 04:54:00.599
It's part of.

1975
04:54:00.639 --> 04:54:01.840
Out day.

1976
04:54:08.479 --> 04:54:13.520
And sometimes as we get older in life, perhaps at

1977
04:54:13.759 --> 04:54:26.880
times we have bought it relaxing completely. It's not likely,

1978
04:54:28.080 --> 04:54:39.439
not wonderfully pleasant experience. It's also really easy.

1979
04:54:50.759 --> 04:54:58.639
It's very very easy to go because that's what it is.

1980
04:54:58.799 --> 04:54:59.319
It's just.

1981
04:55:02.759 --> 04:55:03.680
Decided.

1982
04:55:12.520 --> 04:55:20.240
When you press the play button on my recordings, you

1983
04:55:20.639 --> 04:55:25.520
have given a mission for my voice.

1984
04:55:26.840 --> 04:55:27.400
To relation.

1985
04:55:31.599 --> 04:55:36.799
Press that play button, you have given me permission for.

1986
04:55:36.919 --> 04:55:47.240
My words to effect a positive.

1987
04:55:50.000 --> 04:56:08.840
I am a positive way, open up the mind, peaceful

1988
04:56:10.360 --> 04:56:12.159
and he.

1989
04:56:14.080 --> 04:56:27.360
Suggestions such a place effect.

1990
04:56:29.680 --> 04:56:42.000
Why you feel right now? As well as those changes

1991
04:56:42.319 --> 04:56:51.840
that continue long after the recording acts. Those changes with

1992
04:56:52.240 --> 04:57:05.520
thing seemed to flourish at the clod transform me your

1993
04:57:05.639 --> 04:57:20.759
life positude, beautiful way allowing me to move forms in

1994
04:57:21.119 --> 04:57:41.080
life in the diation ins for yourself. This feeding fear,

1995
04:57:41.799 --> 04:57:44.720
he and experience.

1996
04:57:45.200 --> 04:57:49.040
Safety, compt harmless.

1997
04:57:56.639 --> 04:58:19.000
Feel so nice, Such a healthful place to be as

1998
04:58:23.200 --> 04:58:31.840
thin sho eavery that.

1999
04:58:39.959 --> 04:58:41.599
In as to find.

2000
04:58:43.799 --> 04:58:44.959
At b at.

2001
04:58:47.200 --> 04:58:51.680
Physic I don't.

2002
04:58:51.560 --> 04:58:53.599
Mind, it's.

2003
04:58:59.520 --> 04:59:10.560
Not finture, it's just the wineless. You die miss sad.

2004
04:59:11.680 --> 04:59:21.919
Negativity you can should now in my two jets negativity.

2005
04:59:26.200 --> 04:59:28.639
Now you're going to stop.

2006
04:59:28.560 --> 04:59:34.799
Noticing negativity of orisis.

2007
04:59:38.040 --> 04:59:39.799
You can you s stop.

2008
04:59:44.479 --> 05:00:22.319
Stoppativity che pitchless sp