April 30, 2025
(music) (5 hours) I’m nowhere to be found | LMBYTS #1342 | 30th April 2025

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Hello, Hello, and welcome to Jasonnewland dot com, the most
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exciting website on the Internet. I just can't recommend it less.
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I really don't go there. It's just poiled. Now it's good,
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it's all right.
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It's where all my stuff is, all my recordings are.
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You can download on there. You can stream so you
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can download for later, and you can stream it.
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You can all fast forward it, you can.
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Slow it down because you know I do talk really
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quickly sometimes, so please only listen when you can safety.
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Close your eyes and this is let meet more you
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to sleep. It is twelve thirty three. It's a lovely
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day outside. It's sunshine, it's warm, the birds are happy.
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I don't think I've.
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Even farted today, not to the two connected. But I
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think sometimes at the winter I just fought when my
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bumm reacts like just gets annoyed because it's not nothing
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to do, just has to amuse itself. But in the summer,
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I think my bum seems to like the sun. I
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know it's not summer yet, but you know it's getting there. Okay,
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let's stop talking about my bumb So what I've got,
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Oh yeah, I've got a Facebook group called Jason Newland's
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Boring group, which is on Facebook. And my YouTube channel
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is at Jason Newland. And now what I do is
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I upload all my lates, my latest podcast recordings. So
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YouTube's really a podcast. It's my podcast. It's everything that
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you get online on the podcasts. It's just like a
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static image and you can listen. It's just another place
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that you can listen. I'm on all the main podcast hosts.
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The main place people listen to me is on Apple Music,
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but then I'm also on Spotfy, also on Spreaker, every everywhere,
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pretty much every single podcast app I'm probably on. So
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what other things? Is there anything else to talk about?
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I don't know. Sure, I think that's it. I think
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I said that the list somebody could safely close your eyes. Yeah,
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I think that's it.
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So there is there may be what there is background sound,
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but whether or not the microphone picks it up is yes,
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a separate issue.
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I don't know.
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But the noise isn't quite as loud as what it
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was yesterday. I mean they were literally digging up the
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concrete floor in the bathroom yesterday, which I didn't know.
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I didn't realize, but that explains why the whole building
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was shaken, but today's still a fair bit of noise sound,
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which I'm fine. I mean, the bathroom is being rebuilt,
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so it's going to be sound, isn't there. It's a standard.
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But it meant I couldn't do any kind of whispery stuff.
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I'll BlimE me. It wasn't that loud, and to can
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you is it really loud? Okay?
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Sometimes you get Vinnie in the background chomping on a bone.
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You if it's a nice day and I've got the
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window open, you may hear birds. You might hear a horrace,
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the pigeon saying hello. Generally you're not going to hear
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building work, but today you might hear some building work.
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So it's the same.
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I'll just see if it's picking up.
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Right.
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It's not the recorders not picking up the same way
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it does my voice. But you know, this part of
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the recordings, this is not it's not hypnosis recording and whatever,
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banging and whatever. It's going to be relatively well, very
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much in the background.
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And also because I can hear it, but.
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I can hear stuff in the garden. And then when
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I listen back on the recording, when I go to.
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Edit it, it's.
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Practically non existent. So I think what happens is my
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ears become a little bit more sensitive when I'm making
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a recording because I so want everything to be quiet
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for you. But you know, I could wait all day
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to make this recording and not do it. And if
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I wait till they've finished, I might be a bit
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too tired to do anything.
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Because.
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You know, I go to better ten pretty much by
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six clock, I'm kind of done for the day. Really,
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you know, there's not a lot because I wait, I
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get up at four or five in the morning. So yeah,
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if I'm going to make a recording, it needs to
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be in the morning or in the afternoon. Really couldn't
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do anything this morning because there was a lot of
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a lot of banging going on. But it seems to
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quietend down a little bit. So that's why I'm doing this. Yeah, Okay, just.
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It's either do it with some background sound or not
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do it at all.
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I figured it's better just to do it with background sound.
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You may disagree with me. I'm beginning to disagree with
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me as well. Okay, what I thought i'd do just
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give you an update what's happening with me? Well, I
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watched the boxing on at the weekend. I didn't. It's weird.
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Oh okay, I'm gonna do the thing things I need
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to do that my three my three thing image eggs
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that are going to start doing one thing I'm grateful for,
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one thing we forgive and one thing we're looking forward to.
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So I'm going to try and do this if I
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remember every single time i'd do and let me boy
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the sleep. Okay, this is something we can all do
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together if you fancy it. And what I noticed because
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we just to do sort of similar things to this
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during the meditation practice, like twenty five years ago when
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I was doing start first started learning meditation and try
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to think of something what a difficult one. Okay, there's
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a thing called a Metta Bardner, which is where you
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you focus on a part of it if you focus
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on people you don't know, focus on someone you like,
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someone you're come neutral about it's loud, and then someone
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that you perhaps are in problems with. After doing it regularly,
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I run out of people I had problems with. But
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what I noticed is something that it was the same
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people kept going back to the same people. So it
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I think it's quite natural to sometimes be grateful for
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the same thing, to maybe forgive the same thing, the
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same person, the same event, and maybe even be looking
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forward to the same thing. So I don't think it
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needs to be a different thing. Every day can be
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up to you. I mean, you don't enough to do it. It's
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not like it's not homework. Really it's not really homework,
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or I will be marking. You'll get your exam results
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at the end of the week.
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So three things. I need to give it a name?
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What should I call it?
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Well, now someone's got music playing because they're trying to
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block out the sound of the building.
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That's how it works around it.
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There's noise, then someone else puts some music music on,
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and then someone else will put their music on to
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cover up that music.
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And they're just like non stop.
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But it's also it's a nice dace of people in
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the garden and.
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Listening to.
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Who knows what they're doing chating. I know that I
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talk a lot, and I do these recordings. What confuses
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me is I see people or hear them outside every
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day talking for I was, and I can't figure out
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what they got to talk about. I don't mean that rudely,
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it's just like, are they just making stuff up because
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it's the same people talking to each other. What possibles
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It's like, unless you're just.
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Going to regurgitate the old converse, same old conversations, what
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are they going to spend hours and hours discussing.
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I don't know.
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The fact that I do hear the same conversations. But hey,
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that's enough about me and my wonderful I've done it.
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I hear words I don't necessarily.
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Here.
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Yeah, I hear words. I remember, I said to.
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What was that? I said, I.
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Went to my psychologist, just my hearing words that I
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talked to ghosts. Well, I talked to the dead. That's
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what I told my psychiatrists. It's about fifteen years ago
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or twelve years ago. Because she's like, there's other things
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going on. She thought I said nothing wrong with me.
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She said, well, you are here to see a psychiatrist. God,
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there's more noise in the gardener who isn't bluming downstairs?
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This might be one of those recordings where I can't
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add music because there's too much background sound.
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So I said to my psychiatrists, I talked to dead people,
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ghosts really, but towards to dead people. And she said, okay, well,
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we need to keep seeing you every week. And I said, okay,
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but for what I just hear for the bipolar And
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she said, sometimes with bipolar there are there's delusional thinking sometimes,
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and there's there's you know, sometimes people see things and
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hear things and whatever. I said, Well, I've always seen
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and heard things. She said, no, not literally hearing and
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seeing things, but hearing and seeing things that aren't there.
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I said, but yeah, technically, isn't that what you do
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on tear television? You're seeing things that aren't really there?
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Are they?
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You?
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What you see, for example, a dinosaur. Dinosaur doesn't exist
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and it's not really there. And she said, no, that's
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not really what I mean. I'm all about, like in
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real life, you see things differently to what they are.
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But then I said, yeah, but.
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We all do that, don't we, Because our eyes see
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things upside down, but our brain actually sees it the
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other way, turns it around the other way, so we're
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not seeing things how I see it anyway. She said,
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can we just stop this? I said, okay, I'm quite glad.
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She said why. I said, well, I got no other
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really mildly clever things to say.
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She said, did you think that was mildly clever. I thought,
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it's a little bit, a little bit. I mean, I've got.
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Very limited knowledge about eyes and optical nerves and stuff
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like that. But I thought I did quite well all
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things considered. I mean, it's not like I prepared for it.
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She said, well, you did come here. I thought you
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might be in a little bit prepared.
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I said, yeah, but Edmar, can we just get back
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to what you were saying. You want me to come
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and see you again? She said, yeah, and we need
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to sort of delve into this. You're speaking to dead people.
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I said, okay.
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And first of all, the police came around just to
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check there was nothing weird in my fridge, you know.
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I was like, it's over the top. And so I
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went and saw her for a few weeks.
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I thought it was going to be more for the
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psychotherapy side of things, for the personality disorder, and she said, well,
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that can wait. This is perhaps a bit more important.
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Said okay, it might need to change your medication.
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Fair enough.
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I just go along with it. And after about six
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weeks she kept saying, well what are they saying? She said,
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can you talk to dead people?
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Now?
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Said yeah, so you can actually do it while you're
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in a room with me. I said, yeah, so said
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go on, I said, all right, well out loud? Well
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actually I did it, and he said out loud, please,
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which I didn't really see the point, but I guess
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it proved to her that I was talking. I don't know,
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so I'm talking.
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And after about oh, I don't know, five weeks of this,
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I'd say, she said, I think this can't really work out.
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What's going on?
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You mean you're not you're talking to them, You're not.
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There's no response, there's no it's not a communication, is it.
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It's not a conversation. It's just you talking to them.
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So we come to the conclusion that you're not able
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to talk to dead people, that you're not talking.
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I said, I haven't talked to dead people. She said,
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you're not. I said, ah, that's where you that's where
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you're getting confused. I told you I was talking to
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dead people. I never said that.
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They answered me, and I was like, oooh, really, I
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think I might have wasted six weeks of her time
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to be fair for a punchline. So I'm thinking, what
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could we have? What could we have or what could
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we do? We could we go?
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I could look at a magazine. I have to go
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to the pharmacy and get my prescription, but I don't
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want to go. I really don't want to don't.
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It's one of those things. I just don't like going there.
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Should I ever look at the what's a good magazine
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to look through?
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The Rake? Idler? Be More Cat? What's the Idler? I'm sorry,
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