Aug. 21, 2025
(music) (5 hours) I bored myself to sleep | LMBYTS #1417 | Jason Newland | 21st August 2025

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Hello, Hello, and welcome to Jason new Land dot com. Mama, Mama, mama, muma. Hello, Hello,
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welcome to Jasonnewland dot com. My name is Jason.
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New and.
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Yeah, I'm here with Vinny, who just woke me up
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a P. Kennedy early in the morning.
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Uh.
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I thought he wanted something to eat, so I got
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him some new breakfast. He didn't really eat much food yesterday.
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He had dried food, but he didn't eat much wet food.
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I just put it on the floor or on a bowl,
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you know, and just chuck it on the floor. I'm
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not a cave man. And he's it's does He's not interested.
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So he's just lying here next to me, very quiet,
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looks like he's thinking, like he's contemplating, almost like he's
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got some kind of philosophical dilemma he's battling with. And
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you might think, oh, how did I come to that
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conclusion by looking at the back of his head. I
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don't know.
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Maybe it's it's just a feeling, just just yeah, maybe.
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An invisible emotional, spiritual even connection that we have. And
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you may be wondering where I'm going with this, and
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so am I. I'm really I've got no idea what
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I'm talking about right now. But then, how how often
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do I know what I'm talking about?
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How often?
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I mean quite a lot. It's just me just waffling
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on about nothing. And it seems to be another case
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of that particular activity occurring again, yes, sir.
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So.
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Hoh tired, mm hmmm, so so so so so yesterday, Oh,
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I had to do my pit forms, my personal independence
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payment forms, and.
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Look, loot. I put them off. I put them off
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for about a.
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Week and not a week, about a week, yeah, about
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a week, and then yesterday I had nine days to
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get it back to them. Y. It's so I decided
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that's it. I'm gonna get on with it. I'm gonna
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do it. I want to get down to it. I'm gonna,
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you know, cut my toenails. I'm gonna I have three baths.
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I was gonna try and invent a new a new
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way of cooking fish fingers, a way that's never been
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done before, maybe discovers the a new alternative for the wheel.
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Pretty much anything but to fill the pit forming. I
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was looking for a distractions excuses not to do that form,
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fill it in because it's not.
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It.
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I just didn't find it easy. I didn't, really I didn't. Yeah,
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it wasn't particularly the enjoyable, and I got it. I
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did it. I did do it, and I made a
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bit of a hash up of it. They may well
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send it back. I mean, honestly, I think I'm probably
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going to be the only person who gets their pitforms
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sent back to them graded like A to D. Honestly,
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I've been probably be like D minus, like needed more work,
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more preparation.
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You know.
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Way, why do you keep talking about donuts. There's gonna
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be lots of weird for sort of probably comments on
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there about it. I mean, we didn't need to know
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about yours toenails, so I need to cut my toenails.
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I think that's what it's now in my mind. I mean,
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don't get me wrong. My toenails aren't like out of control.
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They're not living their own life. You know, I'm not
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getting woken up at two in the morning one of
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my toenails that are coming back from a nightclub. I'm not.
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My toenails are fine and is still intact, but they're
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just getting a little bit long. When I say long,
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you know, nothing weird. They're not, you know, I haven't
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got like the local paper newspaper, like begging me for pictures,
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because there's nothing like that. They're not unusually long h
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just long, long good. That's all. That's all it is.
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Do you think I sound like James Bond? Roger Roger Bond?
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That's the word is? My name is Jason nom name's
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My name is Newland, Jason new.
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Land, None of them? Who is he have a Bond?
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George Lasonby? How weird is that one James Bond movie?
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Just one?
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His name stayed famous being the second James Bond. Wait
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a minute, I thought it was Roger Miller. Who is
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the second James Bond? Roger Miller, No, George Lasenby. Apparently.
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I think he didn't want to do it again. He
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didn't enjoy the experience, I think.
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Or.
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Some other reason. There's going to be a reason, isn't
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there why he didn't do a second one? And I
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don't know about you. I mean I don't know where
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where you live in the world, And I don't know
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what you're doing right now. I mean you might be
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might we doing yoga? I don't know, die getting funny
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looks from the other people on the bus.
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I don't know.
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But in my country, you know, the country that I'm
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in charge of. They still the TV channels still, you know,
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the main terrestrial channels still show Chains Bond movies. And
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bearing in mind all the different Chains Bonds that they've
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been and there's been a few. Now, can I remember
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the last time that George Lazonba's movie was on television,
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his version of Jam's Bond. No, I'll wait a minute.
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I know it's yesterday, That's what I'm thinking about it,
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and it wasn't. I can't remember.
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They never put it on. Well I'm not saying they
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never put it on, but they rarely put even the
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It's like the early Change Bondom movies that seemed to
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be on that, you know, sort of Christmas and not Christmas,
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but you know, during the daytime kind of holiday season,
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it seems to be the Roger Moore or Sean Connery.
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Roger Moore hasn't made a Change Bondom movie for six
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hundred years. I always liked Roger Moore. There was something
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about him I liked, you know, there was the old
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what was that he was in Tony Curtis. Him and
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Tony Curtis are on a TV show in the sixties,
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A good TV show. The chemistry was really good, it
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was funny, it was bright, colorful.
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Oh what was it called. I forget, but it was.
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I quite liked it. Not in the sixties because I
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wasn't alive in the sixties, but before, you know, when
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I was alive. Most of the TV programs I've enjoyed
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have been when I've been alive. Okay, that sounded weird. Oh,
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I forget the name of the TV show, but it's
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a good TV show. Roger Moore.
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Before being James Bond, before changing his name to James Bond,
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he was Simon Templar The Saint Do Do Do Do Do?
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Which I don't think is the do do Do Do
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Do Do? Something like that the Saint. It's very little
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difference between the Saint and James Bond, except that James
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Bond is a little bit more determined, a little bit
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more happy. Maybe it's almost like the same character. He
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even looks the same. I don't know why why it
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was called the Saint, because they had a different version
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in the early eighties, I think, and it was a Saint,
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but it was a new actor called Ian Ogilvy. It
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was great, really really good I've never seen the original,
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so I had nothing to compare it with. But I
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still think ian Orgraphy was great. But the advert show
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before the TV show came.
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On, do do you do something like that?
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And he had a halo above his head.
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He'd look up and I thought, I gotta get me
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one of them. That is so cool.
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It's like almost like he winked to himself and this
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halo just appeared above his head, this light. I thought, wow.
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And I remember saying to my stepmom, because this is
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before the TV show came on, I said, is can
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he turn himself invisible? She said, you have to wait
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and see.
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Now.
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Clearly she knew that he wasn't going to go invisible
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because she had been around in the sixties and she'd
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seen the original one with Roger Moor. I said, has
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he got superpowers? Can you fly?
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And she said You're going to have to wait and see.
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I said, has he got super speed? She said what
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I said, Well super speed? For example, if someone chucked
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an egg, a rotten egg, at him, would you be
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able to just like stop the egg, just take it
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out of the air because everything's moving so slowly, and
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replace it with a nice fresh egg and then go
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and stand back where he was so that he gets
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covered in the nice ec rather than the off ec.
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And she said no, but why would you want to
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do that? I said, you mean, why would you can't
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be going to be hit by a smelly off agche
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would you? She said yeah, but if he could move
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extra fast. Firstly, I've got two questions. I said, okay,
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so you got one question left. She said no, I've
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got two questions. I said, so you're not including.
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How wayman? How's a statement, wasn't it? She said yeah.
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I said, okay, you haven't got anette two them, only nine.
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She said, all right, but you should know a difference
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beween a statement and a question. And I said I'm
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still learning, I said, and you wouldn't believe what else?
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Step mummy? She said, well, I said, they're only trying
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to teach me French.
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French. I've only just learned to what a false stop
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is in English and they're trying to teach me another language.
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She said, I know. I tried to have a word
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with them. I said, you did. I said, yeah, I
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tried to let him know that.
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And you weren't really perhaps up for learning a new language,
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especially French. Just didn't didn't think that you'd be he
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wanted to do it, and that you wouldn't be able
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to do it.
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I said, okay, so how did it get on? She
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said that I know what do you mean?
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So I couldn't understand them? But it was French? Okay,
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I said, step mom? He said yes, stepson, she said,
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she said, he said, I don't know someone's talking. I said,
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when you asked her the question to the French teacher,
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you know, when you said, oh, you know, when you
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made this statement, sorry that perhaps I wasn't ready to
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learn a new language. She said, yeah, I said, with
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you in the office. She said no. I said, we
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you in the canteen? She said no. I said, were
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you on the roof? She giggled, and he said no,
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I wasn't on a roof. I said, in that case,
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were you per chance sitting in the classroom with all
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the other pupils. She said yeah, How did you know that?
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I said, okay, And you know, just be a reminder
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when you're in that classroom with the other pupils learning French.
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Am I correct in saying that you could only speak
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in French? There's no English speaking at all, and she
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said we we we we. I said, oh, I will
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go if you need to, and we both laughed because
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I should explain this. We like going. We we means
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yes yes in France because.
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In France, you know, if you're listening to France, you're
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already going to be probably be aware of this. I
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mean it might be it might be new information, but
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in France this might blow your mind. But you know, anyway,
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I feel like I'm kind of letting I give too
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much away in these podcasts. Too much can knowledge Anyway,
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In France, they have a different language, they speak different
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It's almost like they've got a different word for everything.
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And we we.
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Means yes yes, but only here we we need means
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got to do? We we like and number one like
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we were not not literally I don't and I don't
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shout out we when I unate, I don't, I don't
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I sometimes do sometimes do you ever stand on a
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little stare when you go to a toilet? And do
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we we.
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Just to pretend to be taller, like, oh, this is
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what it feels like. I can't be the only one
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that does that. Anyway, I said, so you was in
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the classroom, she said, yeah, I said, you can only
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speak French. She said, yeah, so that's probably the problem.
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There's a miscommunication. He was probably if I'm just guessing
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speaking French and you don't know any French. And she
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said yeah. But there's something about him. He's very captivating.
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I said, do you mean the big box of chocolates
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he has on his desk that everyone can just help themselves.
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She said yeah, Oh, I was lovely. I said, fair enough,
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but not lovely enough to try and learn a new language.
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And she said, well, maybe not. I said see, And
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then she said something very weird to me. She said,
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do you see j J. I said, yes, step Mummy wondering.
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You know, she never called me that before, I said.
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She said, I got a question for you. I said,
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