July 1, 2025

(music) (5 hours) Attempted Monday’s Boring Objects | LMBYTS #1385 | Jason Newland | 30th June 2025

(music) (5 hours) Attempted Monday’s Boring Objects | LMBYTS #1385 | Jason Newland | 30th June 2025
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Hello, and welcome to Jasonnewland dot com. My name's Jason Newland.

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This is let me bore you to sleep. Please only

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listen when you can safely closer. Eze. Today is Monday,

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the thirtieth of June, Tall zero, little five. Then he

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is carried up next to me on the sofa. Something's

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got his attention because he's is a pricked up and

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he's looking around. So haven't you've heard something, haven't you? Yeah,

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he's not quite so angry with me today because although

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I did leave him on his own again visiting my

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well day by in hospital. Mm hmm, well, I I

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left early, so I got a left by it with

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another neighbor who took me to the hospital after dropping

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off his wife and kid at school and work. And

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I got there. I left here at half seven, got

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there about core past eight a m. And I left.

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And bo, I'm not sure what I left.

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I left about.

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One.

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I think I'm not exactly Yeah, I'm not exactly sure.

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So I was home. I think I was home by

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two o'clock. I took Vinnie into the garden to do wewis,

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but it's too hot outside for him to go out properly.

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So I'm not gonna he won't be going out until

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probably six seven six or something like that because it's

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just a bit too hot. He did have a nice

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w alk this morning, which was about half an hour out.

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We was out for about half an hour, but I

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think it because it was so early in the morning.

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I mean, we did wake up about I don't know,

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twenty to four, because we did. We went to bed

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about half eight last night and woke up about twenty

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to four, and so we got up. I got up,

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I had my breakfast. He got up as well, and

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we went for a walk about half six till. Yeah,

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it was about twenty five to seven till about five

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past seven, and then I had a shower, So I

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got back, had a shower, Yeah, and then pretty much

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I had about three minutes to get prepared to go

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downstairs and get a lift. So it all worked out okay. Potentially, Potentially.

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I was.

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Maybe moving a bit too fast because normally, you know,

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I'm not I'm not necessarily set to a timer. So

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I found that I was making slightly more noise than

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usual when I was I was probably attempting to make

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less noise. I find that the try, the more I

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try to make less noise. The more noise I tend

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to make. So if I'm in the wal if I'm

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gonna I'm in the kitchen and I'm trying to wash

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up really quietly because it's early in the morning and

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I don't want to disturb, you know, the neighbors. That's

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when I start dropping stuff in the sink. It's weird,

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isn't it Isn't it strange? And it's strange. So yeah,

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I just want to say thank you to everyone that's

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sent their well wishes for my neighbor. It's very kind

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of you, and I do appreciate your support. He So

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I'll give you the update. I know this is going

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to be Monday's boring objects. I'm going to talk about hospitals,

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but none of it is going to be medical or

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anything like that. Okay, so it was a little bit,

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but it's not really good. It's not It's all going

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to be tasteful, if that's the right word. I'll try

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and keep everything tasteful apart from some of my jokes.

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Maybe I don't know. Well, can't you tell jokes, do you?

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I've never remember you were telling a joke. Okay, I

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don't if jokes is a correct word. I think they're jokes.

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Maybe other people don't know, they don't notice. So, yeah,

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hospitals is going to be And maybe I've even done

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that before, but we're doing it again, doing it again.

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So I will talk about my experiences in hospitals, including

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being in hospital twice myself, also going to hospital a

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few times for different things, and visiting people in hospital.

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The first time I did hypnosis with someone in hospital. Yeah,

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so this had a few little instances along the way.

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Visiting my nan in hospital, but I mean that that

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was a journey and that took me about five hours,

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six hours to get there, and then when I get there,

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I'm told that it's closing time or yeah, kind of

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that wasn't good. So the update on me Naybar is

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two things. Really, his next door neighbor, his current next

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door neighbor that's in the bed next to him, is

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leaving tomorrow and so he won't be there. And if

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they're close, they're really close. That been together for a

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week and you can see there's a it's almost like

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a brotherly kind of thing going on there. It's nice.

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And this is ten. This bloke's probably ten years younger

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than him. I mean, I think he's about sixty six.

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She's kind of in the middle between me and my neighbor.

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My neighbor's seventy eight on Friday, I think this week.

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The other neighbor this Friday, third, Wednesday, froze whatever. I'm

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fifty four, he's sixty six, and everyone's sixty sixty eight,

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so it's kind of midway between us, and you can

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see there's a playfulness between them. I did this. I

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was something quite interesting about my neighbor today from his neighbor,

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his new neighbor. Now, my neighbor can't stop talking. But

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he literally can't stop talking, and he just talks, talks, talks.

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Apparently he talks when he's asleep. He doesn't even stop

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talking when he's asleep. So I don't know what and this, Okay,

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I don't I was talking to the nurses about him

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talking because I was laughing about it, and they can't believe.

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I don't think they've ever met anyone who talks as

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much as him. They thought he was due to his condition,

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and I said, no, he's been like that since I've

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known him for ten years. I'm not saying that he's

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not affected by his condition. You know, I don't want

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to get in the way of any kind of medical

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intervention that might help. But yeah, they laughed, They said really,

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I said, yeah, there's always been a chatterbox. But then

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I'm a chatterbox, and I do see myself in him.

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That sounds wrong, doesn't it, But I you know, I

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see myself. I tell you, I think part of the reason.

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It's not a conscious thing, but I think part of

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the reason why I I've helped him over the period

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the time I've been here and continue to do so,

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to try and help anyway, I'm not sure how helpful

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I am is because I see it's almost like I'm

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looking at him and that's me in twenty five years time,

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or twenty three years time, twenty six years time. Wait

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a minute, fifty four, fifty four, sixty four, seventy four,

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I'll be seventy five. It'll be seventy eight. That's twenty

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three years something like that. So you know, twenty three years,

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you know, in some ways, Oh, it's a long time away,

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is it?

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Though?

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It is for someone who's ten, it is for someone

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who's twenty, it is for someone who's thirty. Maybe someone

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who's forty, But it doesn't seem that far away now.

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I mean for someone who's twenty, if you say, oh,

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in twenty five years, don't look at you like really,

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I'll be an old age pincher in twenty five years.

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Or if you say that to a twenty year old

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in twenty five years, like yeah, I remember when I

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was a kid, Okay, when I was a kid, when

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I was a younger man, in my twenties, even up

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to my mid twenties, I remember thinking, I'm not genuinely

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thinking if someone said, oh, you got some wrong on

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your leg, you're going to have to have it removed

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in twenty years time, wouldn't even care. It's like twenty

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years that's a lifetime away. I don't care about twenty

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years away now. If someone said that now, it'd be like,

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that's like telling me before Christmas, by the end of

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this year, you're going to have that. That's how close

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it seems, almost because it goes so quickly, so quickly.

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In twenty five years ago or twenty three years ago,

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even I was working in a core center in Churchill Insurance,

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and I felt old then. I felt old then. I

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think part of the reason was because I was working

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with when nearly everybody there was younger than me by

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a lot. So you know, I was thirty one, thirty two.

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There was people there in their early twenties, some even

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in late teens, and quite a few of them treated

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me like I was old, like really old. There was

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this female I think she was probably about twenty, and

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she was in my team. She's quite new and she

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I think I was just finished a shift. So I

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get my phone out of my pocket. I'm just gonna

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look at it so if there'd any text or anything.

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And she starts laughing. She says, oh, ah, I didn't

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think you'd have a modern phone because it was a

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small phone. It's like, really, what did you think I'd

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have some kind of big satellite phone or bring out

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put out an egg cup with a bit of string

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attached to it, Like, what did you think I was

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going to use. It's a phone. It's just it's some

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weird You may be using something something, something up to date. Yeah,

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and now as I get older, I'm thinking I was

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selling mobile phone contracts forty twenty four years ago. So

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my neighbor downstairs wasn't even alive when I was selling

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mobile phone contracts. My neighbors stays. My neighbor downstairs wasn't

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even alive when I was working at Churchill. I mean

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she was, Yeah, she wasn't alive. She wasn't even alive

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when I just when I finished working at Churchill. In fact,

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my neighbor downstairs was born a year before I started

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making recordings online. Because I've been doing it nineteen years.

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She's twenty. It's unbelievable, fully formed human being with her

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whole lifetime experiences at the same time as me sitting here.

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We're not sitting here necessarily but making weird audios and

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it's beyond measure. I find a very confusion, I really do.

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And to make it worse, she's probably thirty times more

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mature than I am as a person, like now, not

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when when I was your age, I was like a

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twenty was I was a child Mentally I was a child.

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I can just hear like all many children when they

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enter it in their aide and no mental never grab

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up me. Sure stop. This is about love, This is

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this is a gentle, loving place. Come on, come on,

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can't we just get along?

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Hey? Anyway, my neighbor he talks in his sleep. I

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didn't know that. I tried to explain that to his neighbor.

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I said, well, we don't sleep together. And I made

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a mistake. I said the wrong thing earlier. I've got

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a habit of doing this, just generally in life. I'm

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talking to one of the nurses and I'm just asking

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some questions and we just chatting. I said, oh, you've

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got lovely eyes. I didn't mean anything by it, and

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she punched me. And now she didn't I said you

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got lovely eyes. I said, oh, sorry about that. And

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we carried on talking and apparently it was distracting her

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change in the cafeter but she didn't know it was

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behind the curtain. But it's and I thought, oh, bit,

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I might think. See I didn't care about myself embarrassing myself.

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It's far. It's it's quite hard for me to embarrass

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myself these days. Although something did happen later on that

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was a bit embarrassing. Involved a toilet. I'll tell you

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that in a minute. Anyway, it started to bug me.

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I'm thinking, she's at work, and this is someone that

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I've gotten quite well with. I did last week. It's

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really nice, very friendly. We have a laughing that, and

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I thought, that's that was just it was not on

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I can't be. It's you know, it's one thing if

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I was, even even if I was, I don't know,

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just paying someone a compliment. It's probably not the thing

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to do anymore. It used to be kind of okay

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when I was younger, in my in my day, you know,

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in the seventeen century. But and I thought, no, that's

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just I apologize as I said it. And so I thought,

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you know, what what I'll do is when there's no

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one else around, I just apologize to us. I did.

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I said, Look, and then what I thought i'd do, okay,

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is i'd apologize. But it's part of me wanted to.

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I don't know, it's just it's just it's the cheeky,

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cheeky little monkey inside of me. So this is what

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I said to her. I said, I just I just

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want to apologize earlier if I was inappropriate when I

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said that, you've got a lovely smile. And she said, oh,

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don't worry about it, and she's and she said, honestly,

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I said, no, it was unprofession of me. And she laughed.

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And so.

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Now I'm thinking when she left, did she notice I

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said something different, because before I said she had lovely eyes,

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and I said a lovely smile, and I thought, oh,

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that's wrong. I shouldn't, so I thought I better just changed.

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As I left, I said, oh, by the way, again

233
00:20:29.279 --> 00:20:31.799
before I, guys want to say, say sorry for saying

234
00:20:31.920 --> 00:20:34.880
saying that you got already perky bum. I shouldn't. I

235
00:20:34.920 --> 00:20:38.000
didn't say it. I just I didn't. I actually didn't

236
00:20:38.000 --> 00:20:40.640
say goodbye to her because I didn't see her when

237
00:20:40.640 --> 00:20:45.240
I left. But I'm wondering if she if she noticed

238
00:20:45.279 --> 00:20:50.839
that I said something different. It's it just popped out

239
00:20:50.839 --> 00:21:00.519
in my mouth. It's a little bit like hmm, I

240
00:21:00.519 --> 00:21:04.160
don't know. It's a bit like watching my my name

241
00:21:04.319 --> 00:21:06.799
try to eat more than one bold sweet at a time.

242
00:21:07.119 --> 00:21:09.960
One always seemed to pop out, one always fell on

243
00:21:09.960 --> 00:21:12.279
the floor. No, I didn't. I don't want to saying that.

244
00:21:12.359 --> 00:21:18.359
Leave my name alone, blimey. Just like seeing it a

245
00:21:18.400 --> 00:21:21.279
hamster try and eat a gob stopper. Anyone see it.

246
00:21:21.359 --> 00:21:26.599
Everyone knows what a gobstopper is. Oh, my body's so sensitive.

247
00:21:27.880 --> 00:21:32.119
I'm just stroking my chest. I've got a little it's

248
00:21:32.160 --> 00:21:35.839
a spot. Actually, I've thought it was a nipple. I thought,

249
00:21:35.839 --> 00:21:41.400
oh no, not a fifth nipple. So yeah, I he's

250
00:21:41.519 --> 00:21:50.440
all right. But he had he had this body scan,

251
00:21:50.960 --> 00:21:57.599
like a big old body scan on Friday morning, like

252
00:21:57.799 --> 00:22:00.960
you know, early hours before nine o'clock. I've got Friday morning,

253
00:22:02.119 --> 00:22:07.519
and he still hasn't had the results. And I hung

254
00:22:07.599 --> 00:22:11.119
around hoping that he would get the results before I left.

255
00:22:12.920 --> 00:22:16.119
But by half eight, I think it was by about

256
00:22:16.160 --> 00:22:19.400
one o'clock, still no one had come to see him,

257
00:22:20.559 --> 00:22:24.200
and he was eating his dinner. So I just left him.

258
00:22:25.000 --> 00:22:28.480
I went downstairs to get him some stuff from the shop,

259
00:22:28.519 --> 00:22:31.920
and then I just came home. So I was going

260
00:22:31.960 --> 00:22:34.559
to give him a call tomorrow. I'm not going to

261
00:22:34.640 --> 00:22:38.400
go every single day this week because I don't think

262
00:22:38.440 --> 00:22:41.440
I can. I can't financially do it. But it's not

263
00:22:41.519 --> 00:22:46.559
just that I could get a bus. It's just a journey.

264
00:22:46.599 --> 00:22:50.039
I couldn't, you know. I got a taxi back today.

265
00:22:50.839 --> 00:22:53.920
I just couldn't face getting on a bus and two

266
00:22:54.039 --> 00:22:59.480
journeys and standing out in that sun. And so yeah,

267
00:22:59.640 --> 00:23:03.000
I just got the taxi back. And then I'm in

268
00:23:03.039 --> 00:23:12.839
a taxi just talking about technology and just some whatever,

269
00:23:13.720 --> 00:23:17.000
and just as we pull up outside my house, I

270
00:23:17.160 --> 00:23:20.079
notice he's got a camera. There's a little not only

271
00:23:20.079 --> 00:23:21.920
a camera, but there's a little screen. It's shown me

272
00:23:21.960 --> 00:23:26.319
and him together. There's one thing having a camera. It's fine.

273
00:23:26.720 --> 00:23:28.880
I've never seen myself on a little screen like that,

274
00:23:28.920 --> 00:23:39.319
And I said, I don't know. It was a little

275
00:23:39.319 --> 00:23:43.440
bit annoying. I think I felt a little bit trust

276
00:23:43.640 --> 00:23:49.640
passed upon because if I knew i'd been filmed. I

277
00:23:49.680 --> 00:23:55.799
think there's one thing being filmed without sound, because you know,

278
00:23:55.839 --> 00:23:58.119
you need to be filmed if what you're doing, you know,

279
00:23:58.119 --> 00:24:00.880
I guess that's okay, but I didn't really want my

280
00:24:00.920 --> 00:24:08.079
conversation recorded. I don't know. It felt a little bit intrusive,

281
00:24:08.720 --> 00:24:10.720
a little bit, a little bit, you know.

282
00:24:12.039 --> 00:24:12.319
And I.

283
00:24:15.799 --> 00:24:17.880
Mean, I've been in places, I've been in taxis and

284
00:24:17.960 --> 00:24:21.960
cars where there's a camera. I just I don't take

285
00:24:22.039 --> 00:24:24.200
much notice of it. But I've never been anywhere before

286
00:24:24.240 --> 00:24:27.759
where there's actually a screen it shows you yourself being recorded.

287
00:24:28.319 --> 00:24:32.480
It made it more real. And there's a reason I

288
00:24:32.519 --> 00:24:36.599
don't film myself anymore because I don't like being on camera,

289
00:24:37.200 --> 00:24:40.240
which is a shame because my YouTube channel's going completely

290
00:24:40.279 --> 00:24:44.799
to nothing, really, even though every recording I do is

291
00:24:45.079 --> 00:24:51.200
uploaded onto YouTube. I'm losing subscribers. I don't know why.

292
00:24:51.240 --> 00:25:03.200
That's funny, but it's Yeah, it's weird. I thought it

293
00:25:03.240 --> 00:25:07.680
would be quite handy to have it as a as

294
00:25:07.720 --> 00:25:12.960
a separate like there's another place to listen to the podcast,

295
00:25:13.119 --> 00:25:23.359
but ootube doesn't seem to agree. Agree agree. Yeah, So

296
00:25:23.440 --> 00:25:30.400
it's Monday, Monday, and that's it. I don't think there's

297
00:25:30.400 --> 00:25:35.519
anything else going on with the hospital visits day went there.

298
00:25:37.400 --> 00:25:40.720
I found out my other neighbor because I knew it

299
00:25:40.839 --> 00:25:44.039
used to be in a band. He was quite one

300
00:25:44.079 --> 00:25:48.319
of the and I say originators, but it's one of

301
00:25:48.359 --> 00:25:52.519
the originators of the psychedelic movement in this country. It

302
00:25:52.640 --> 00:25:57.160
started in America, but he he built a group and

303
00:25:57.440 --> 00:26:00.039
he was in a lot of he worked with a

304
00:26:00.039 --> 00:26:05.799
lot of really famous people in the sixties when the

305
00:26:05.839 --> 00:26:10.440
psychedelic movement was around, which would be I don't probably

306
00:26:10.519 --> 00:26:16.200
late sixties, maybe early seventies, late sixties, yeah, late sixties,

307
00:26:16.720 --> 00:26:19.319
because I know the Beatles were influenced by the psychedelic

308
00:26:19.359 --> 00:26:26.480
movement in sixty six, sixty seven, sixty eight, something like that.

309
00:26:28.440 --> 00:26:36.200
And he's literally he's in London recording an album. You know,

310
00:26:36.279 --> 00:26:39.880
he's still and he's he's over eighty I think now,

311
00:26:40.119 --> 00:26:44.839
and he's still going and he knows loads of people.

312
00:26:45.480 --> 00:26:48.839
But to him it's not they're not famous people. They're

313
00:26:48.880 --> 00:26:57.519
just people that he's known for sixty years. And it's weird.

314
00:26:57.920 --> 00:27:00.720
He said, something just off. This is by the way,

315
00:27:01.160 --> 00:27:04.960
this is somebody that does not brag. That's the thing

316
00:27:05.000 --> 00:27:08.079
about it. He's not a bragger. I'm a bragger. I

317
00:27:08.119 --> 00:27:10.400
just don't have anything to brag about. That's why you

318
00:27:10.440 --> 00:27:13.839
don't really hear me bragging because there's nothing to brag about.

319
00:27:14.640 --> 00:27:17.400
He's got loads to brag about, and he doesn't. But

320
00:27:17.519 --> 00:27:24.240
he will ask. He will answer questions, and not all questions,

321
00:27:25.000 --> 00:27:27.400
but he will, you know, if I ask him stuff.

322
00:27:29.279 --> 00:27:32.960
And he said the only Beatle member that he didn't

323
00:27:32.960 --> 00:27:38.119
meet was Paul McCartney. He met the other three. And

324
00:27:38.160 --> 00:27:41.440
I said to it, okay, well you know the next

325
00:27:41.519 --> 00:27:43.839
question I'm going to ask. And he said, what's that?

326
00:27:43.920 --> 00:27:47.359
How do I get my name? I said, no, because

327
00:27:47.400 --> 00:27:50.240
he's got I won't say you're be about to look

328
00:27:50.240 --> 00:27:52.359
it up because he's on a Wikipedia page.

329
00:27:53.480 --> 00:27:53.799
He's not.

330
00:27:54.759 --> 00:27:57.680
He was well known, but he's not kind of like famous,

331
00:27:57.680 --> 00:28:03.079
famous in a sense of possibly anyone under the age

332
00:28:03.119 --> 00:28:08.119
of seventies will have heard of possibly, Like I mean,

333
00:28:08.319 --> 00:28:12.000
as in the period of time that he was well

334
00:28:12.039 --> 00:28:18.200
known was the seventies, late sixties and seventies, and but

335
00:28:18.279 --> 00:28:21.480
he worked on albums with a lot of famous artists

336
00:28:22.319 --> 00:28:27.519
over a long period of time. So I'm bragging about him.

337
00:28:27.680 --> 00:28:29.920
But he doesn't brag up won if he brags about me?

338
00:28:31.680 --> 00:28:34.799
So I'm bragging about him telling people or one of

339
00:28:34.839 --> 00:28:39.440
my neighbors used to be in famous bands and stuff

340
00:28:39.440 --> 00:28:43.480
in the sixties and seventies, and I know him. Do

341
00:28:43.559 --> 00:28:46.279
you think he's saying the same kind of thing about me? Yeah,

342
00:28:46.279 --> 00:28:58.799
I got a neighbor's he's got a dog. What else

343
00:28:58.920 --> 00:29:02.240
is it to say? He got a dog? What else?

344
00:29:02.400 --> 00:29:02.599
You know?

345
00:29:03.599 --> 00:29:05.839
He's quite a nice bloke. You want to be trapped

346
00:29:05.839 --> 00:29:08.359
at a lift with him because he was just talking

347
00:29:08.400 --> 00:29:18.839
a lot of rubbish. But other than that, h yeah,

348
00:29:18.880 --> 00:29:22.599
he was saying something about he was It was at

349
00:29:22.640 --> 00:29:28.160
this gig what was it? The Birds? The Birds were

350
00:29:28.160 --> 00:29:31.240
playing this one of the birds were like huge, The

351
00:29:31.279 --> 00:29:34.440
band called the Birds b y r Ds, I do believe,

352
00:29:35.400 --> 00:29:39.200
And they were at a small club in London and

353
00:29:40.440 --> 00:29:43.880
all the names went to this club on this occasion,

354
00:29:44.000 --> 00:29:47.519
so they wanted to see them in concert. So my

355
00:29:47.599 --> 00:29:55.839
neighbor went along and it was jam packed. He was

356
00:29:55.880 --> 00:29:57.680
telling me this this morning, because I was asking him

357
00:29:57.680 --> 00:30:00.799
about ACTU. I said to him, No, what was John

358
00:30:00.880 --> 00:30:04.400
Linnan like? And he said, exactly the same as you'd think,

359
00:30:05.559 --> 00:30:08.599
because at that time, that's when he was in the Beatles.

360
00:30:09.599 --> 00:30:18.279
And he said, sarcastic, funny, full of energy, and he

361
00:30:18.400 --> 00:30:23.440
just was kind of what you saw on TV. He

362
00:30:23.759 --> 00:30:27.200
you know, he obviously he could be serious as well,

363
00:30:28.599 --> 00:30:32.400
but great sense of humor and yeah, and he said basically,

364
00:30:33.119 --> 00:30:35.400
my neighbor said, he got into this club. It's so

365
00:30:36.240 --> 00:30:39.480
jam packed. I don't know if it was Johnny Scott's

366
00:30:39.599 --> 00:30:44.680
or whatever. It is one of those big places, and

367
00:30:47.240 --> 00:30:50.599
he ended up I think it was one of the

368
00:30:51.759 --> 00:30:57.519
I think Pink Floyd's manager was there and knew him

369
00:30:57.559 --> 00:31:00.440
and called him over and invited him to go and

370
00:31:00.480 --> 00:31:03.720
sit on the table with John Lennon. And he ended

371
00:31:03.799 --> 00:31:12.000
up sitting between John between Pink Floyd's manager and John

372
00:31:12.079 --> 00:31:15.759
Lennon's wife at that time, and John Lennon's wife was

373
00:31:15.799 --> 00:31:18.640
sitting next to John Lennon. So he's literally just he's

374
00:31:18.720 --> 00:31:23.440
never met John Lennon, and to be fair, there was

375
00:31:23.480 --> 00:31:27.000
no one more famous in the world of entertainment at

376
00:31:27.000 --> 00:31:34.680
that time than the Beatles. So even you know, he

377
00:31:34.839 --> 00:31:40.200
was in I imagine he was in awe of beating him.

378
00:31:40.279 --> 00:31:43.240
He got chatting to him and stuff. But in that situation,

379
00:31:43.319 --> 00:31:47.319
you'd probably just be like an ordinary person really, because

380
00:31:47.359 --> 00:31:51.200
you can't treat someone like they're a superstar. I've always

381
00:31:51.240 --> 00:31:52.839
They're probably not going to want to talk to you.

382
00:31:53.480 --> 00:31:57.759
I'm guessing, in fact, I find that way. I'll find

383
00:31:57.759 --> 00:32:00.000
that in the past when I when I when I

384
00:32:00.039 --> 00:32:07.640
act like a superstar, people don't like to talk to me. Actually,

385
00:32:07.720 --> 00:32:14.400
just generally people don't like to talk to me. Part

386
00:32:14.440 --> 00:32:16.720
from the people that do, they're the ones that worried

387
00:32:16.759 --> 00:32:19.200
me though, you know, the people that want to sit

388
00:32:19.279 --> 00:32:22.200
down and actually, oh, tell me more. Jason, I'm like,

389
00:32:22.920 --> 00:32:25.599
I'm not sure if I do want to be worried.

390
00:32:27.119 --> 00:32:35.119
Ooh yeah, he's my neighbors. That's a different neighbor. So

391
00:32:35.240 --> 00:32:40.319
the neighboring hospital is just waiting for his tests. And

392
00:32:41.440 --> 00:32:47.119
it was weird because today he started asking me questions

393
00:32:47.240 --> 00:32:53.039
about myself. Now, I was expecting him to use this

394
00:32:53.400 --> 00:32:58.559
as an excuse to start to talk about sports, which

395
00:32:58.599 --> 00:33:02.839
is what he sometimes does. He asks questions and then

396
00:33:03.799 --> 00:33:06.839
it can lead him on to talking about something he

397
00:33:06.880 --> 00:33:09.559
wants to talk about, or maybe there was a subject

398
00:33:09.559 --> 00:33:11.279
that he wanted to talk about, and he was trying

399
00:33:11.279 --> 00:33:16.319
to get me there by drawing me in, you know,

400
00:33:17.480 --> 00:33:20.400
by pretending to be interested in what I used to do.

401
00:33:23.200 --> 00:33:26.599
But he seemed genuinely interested. And he was asking me

402
00:33:26.640 --> 00:33:31.720
about the comedy, about doing stand up comedy in London,

403
00:33:32.119 --> 00:33:34.559
because I think I must have mentioned to him at

404
00:33:34.599 --> 00:33:39.319
some point, and he was asking me about people that

405
00:33:39.400 --> 00:33:43.559
I'd met. I think, yeah, because I think I was

406
00:33:43.559 --> 00:33:45.240
telling about the neighbor what I just told you. I

407
00:33:45.279 --> 00:33:48.079
was telling him about that, and he started asking me

408
00:33:48.119 --> 00:33:52.680
about me, about me and saying, now, who did you meet?

409
00:33:54.039 --> 00:33:57.200
I said, in London, you haven't met any famous people?

410
00:33:57.200 --> 00:34:01.359
And I said, and he said, specifically famous comedians when

411
00:34:01.359 --> 00:34:04.799
I was on the comedy circuits to be involved in

412
00:34:04.839 --> 00:34:08.880
comedy for about ten years or twenty years really, but

413
00:34:08.960 --> 00:34:16.960
ten years solidly, And he said that he kept he

414
00:34:17.000 --> 00:34:20.960
had follow up questions, where did I go? How much

415
00:34:21.159 --> 00:34:23.719
was the gigs that people how much the people pay

416
00:34:23.800 --> 00:34:26.679
to get in. I felt a little bit like he

417
00:34:26.719 --> 00:34:29.199
was trying to catch me out, like I was just lying,

418
00:34:29.960 --> 00:34:32.360
and he was trying to find out if I was

419
00:34:32.400 --> 00:34:38.239
just telling porky pies. But the thing is why I'd

420
00:34:38.239 --> 00:34:40.360
have to be a bit silly to lie about my failures,

421
00:34:40.360 --> 00:34:43.599
wouldn't I because I wasn't successful. I never made out

422
00:34:43.599 --> 00:34:46.440
I was successful. Ever. I had some good gigs. I

423
00:34:46.480 --> 00:34:53.199
had a few really really brilliant gigs, but not many,

424
00:34:54.119 --> 00:35:00.119
and a few average gigs but not many. I would say,

425
00:35:00.199 --> 00:35:04.719
probably if you're going to go buy an audience response

426
00:35:04.960 --> 00:35:09.880
or the comedy promoter's response or the comedy club promoter

427
00:35:11.519 --> 00:35:19.000
percentage wise, I would say, if you broke it up

428
00:35:19.079 --> 00:35:26.960
into good, I'll leave good and really good in the

429
00:35:27.000 --> 00:35:39.199
same category. So good okay, not really good, not okay bad,

430
00:35:40.440 --> 00:35:46.840
I'm good, so okay would be a few laughs okay

431
00:35:46.880 --> 00:35:51.159
would be where they didn't the promoter didn't get kicked

432
00:35:51.199 --> 00:35:53.679
out of the club and told they're never going to

433
00:35:53.840 --> 00:35:56.440
be able allowed to have another night there of comedy

434
00:35:56.880 --> 00:35:59.039
because of what I'd said, So that would be an

435
00:35:59.119 --> 00:36:02.119
okay gig, but not necessarily a good gig for me.

436
00:36:06.480 --> 00:36:09.440
A bad gig that I had lots of those, especially

437
00:36:09.440 --> 00:36:13.280
in the first couple of years. The first year, I

438
00:36:13.280 --> 00:36:15.320
don't think I was even aware that they were bad.

439
00:36:16.400 --> 00:36:22.920
I was, I wasn't the most I don't know. I

440
00:36:22.960 --> 00:36:28.519
don't know what's this got to do with hospitals. Well,

441
00:36:28.599 --> 00:36:31.559
this conversation occurred in the hospital, so it is still

442
00:36:31.599 --> 00:36:41.920
part of the boring objects Monday's Boring Objects A and

443
00:36:44.000 --> 00:36:51.880
percentage wise, I would say probably I worked out. I

444
00:36:51.880 --> 00:36:55.079
think a bit about I did about I worked out once.

445
00:36:55.119 --> 00:36:58.480
I did about two hundred and fifty gigs twenty fifty

446
00:36:58.599 --> 00:37:04.079
twenty fifty performances over the period, and things did start

447
00:37:04.159 --> 00:37:08.199
to slow down once I got to nineteen ninety five,

448
00:37:12.039 --> 00:37:14.039
and I went through periods when I didn't do any

449
00:37:14.280 --> 00:37:19.559
comedy at all for months and months. So nineteen ninety

450
00:37:19.639 --> 00:37:23.159
four A lot of this was to do with accommodation

451
00:37:24.239 --> 00:37:32.639
jobs situations where you know, I was I just couldn't

452
00:37:32.920 --> 00:37:36.440
either I was not interested or I didn't have the

453
00:37:36.480 --> 00:37:38.840
money to get to gigs anyway, So I didn't bother

454
00:37:39.519 --> 00:37:41.559
because there were some gigs I could just turn up at,

455
00:37:41.840 --> 00:37:47.679
like a talent contest that was every Thursday or every

456
00:37:47.719 --> 00:37:50.840
Wednesday or every other Thursday. You know. I think there

457
00:37:50.880 --> 00:37:53.199
was a downstairs at the King's Head was once a

458
00:37:53.239 --> 00:37:56.920
month on a Thursday, I do believe. And at the

459
00:37:56.960 --> 00:38:01.840
Comedy Cafe every Wednesday there was a new Act Night,

460
00:38:02.800 --> 00:38:07.440
which I performed there a lot, many, many, many times,

461
00:38:08.800 --> 00:38:16.559
pretty much every Wednesday for most of nineteen ninety one. Yeah,

462
00:38:17.079 --> 00:38:23.039
it's true, wow, and quite a few ninety two, quite

463
00:38:23.039 --> 00:38:27.559
a few ninety three, ninety four, ninety five, sub ninety six,

464
00:38:28.760 --> 00:38:31.880
ninety seven and ninety eight. So yeah, I performed there

465
00:38:32.960 --> 00:38:38.639
over an eight year period, but less and less as

466
00:38:38.679 --> 00:38:45.199
the years went by. In nineteen ninety six, I was

467
00:38:45.239 --> 00:38:54.440
a security guard and I couldn't do any gigs at

468
00:38:54.440 --> 00:39:03.960
all because I was doing weird shifts and you know

469
00:39:04.079 --> 00:39:17.360
what this is strange. I don't think I performed on stage.

470
00:39:18.199 --> 00:39:21.559
I might be wrong, but I'm not sure if I

471
00:39:21.639 --> 00:39:25.960
performed on stage the whole of nineteen ninety six. So

472
00:39:26.000 --> 00:39:28.280
I thinking at the beginning of the year I was

473
00:39:28.320 --> 00:39:35.199
homeless and then managed to find somewhere to live. I

474
00:39:35.320 --> 00:39:36.920
might have gone and done a few gigs at the

475
00:39:36.920 --> 00:39:39.639
beginning of the year, possibly, And then I got the

476
00:39:39.639 --> 00:39:48.519
security job in around March nineteen ninety six, and I

477
00:39:48.639 --> 00:39:51.840
had that security job all the way toward the summer

478
00:39:52.559 --> 00:40:00.440
nineteen ninety seven till about probably June, maybe July time,

479
00:40:01.360 --> 00:40:06.519
maybe May June nineteen ninety seven. So I had that

480
00:40:06.559 --> 00:40:09.360
I worked for that security company the whole time, and

481
00:40:09.440 --> 00:40:15.760
I was doing night shifts weekends. It was almost impossible

482
00:40:16.760 --> 00:40:22.960
for me to plan to do gigs to even because

483
00:40:23.480 --> 00:40:25.639
most of the gigs I did were free. You know,

484
00:40:25.880 --> 00:40:28.480
nearly all my gigs were just ones that I'd do

485
00:40:28.599 --> 00:40:32.559
for nothing. I'd do an open spot or turn up

486
00:40:32.599 --> 00:40:36.960
at the comedy cafe on a Wednesday night. So I'm

487
00:40:37.000 --> 00:40:40.199
sure I probably did a couple during that period, but

488
00:40:40.239 --> 00:40:43.599
I didn't do much in ninety six. That was really

489
00:40:43.639 --> 00:40:47.920
the tail end of my comedy non career, as it were.

490
00:40:50.360 --> 00:40:53.119
But that was also at the time when I was

491
00:40:55.320 --> 00:41:03.159
I was getting better. I was able to be more topical,

492
00:41:04.719 --> 00:41:07.159
and I found that I was I'm not saying that

493
00:41:07.159 --> 00:41:13.119
I was good, but I was a better than before,

494
00:41:14.440 --> 00:41:18.480
and by talking about topical things it was I don't know,

495
00:41:18.639 --> 00:41:21.639
it just sometimes you don't even have to be particularly funny.

496
00:41:21.679 --> 00:41:27.920
I found by just saying something a bit silly about

497
00:41:28.159 --> 00:41:31.440
something that's really big in the news, it's just like

498
00:41:31.480 --> 00:41:33.679
a silly line. Sometimes get a little I might just

499
00:41:33.679 --> 00:41:36.920
get a little smirk or something, but I was still

500
00:41:36.920 --> 00:41:41.320
better than what I was used to getting. Well, I

501
00:41:41.320 --> 00:41:43.119
did say, if you were making anyone angry, that was

502
00:41:43.159 --> 00:41:51.440
that was the good thing. And nineteen so ninety seven.

503
00:41:54.639 --> 00:41:58.559
From the summer ninety seven till the end of end

504
00:41:58.599 --> 00:42:02.920
of ninety seven, I did do a few gigs. Yeah,

505
00:42:02.920 --> 00:42:05.159
I did. I went, I did, and went to a

506
00:42:05.159 --> 00:42:07.880
few gigs as well. So I performed a bit more

507
00:42:09.039 --> 00:42:13.360
at the latter part of ninety seven because I was

508
00:42:13.400 --> 00:42:17.079
back involved in the comedy again. So I did. Yeah,

509
00:42:17.239 --> 00:42:25.039
on a probably never at the weekend because I was

510
00:42:25.079 --> 00:42:29.320
busy at the weekends, But on a on a Tuesday, Wednesday,

511
00:42:29.400 --> 00:42:35.239
Thursday night, I'd probably end up going to gigs, whether

512
00:42:35.320 --> 00:42:38.159
to just watch my friends who are other comedians performing,

513
00:42:38.840 --> 00:42:41.480
or to perform myself. Ones that I could just turn

514
00:42:41.559 --> 00:42:44.559
up at and they'd let me on. So that was

515
00:42:44.599 --> 00:42:54.400
pretty cool. And then in ninety eight January, I just

516
00:42:54.440 --> 00:42:58.559
did my very last gig. Ever, I didn't realize just

517
00:42:58.599 --> 00:43:05.199
my last gig, but it was the last performance. And yeah,

518
00:43:05.360 --> 00:43:09.559
I've just heard him go. He started barking then because

519
00:43:09.559 --> 00:43:14.360
someone sneezing in the garden or well it was outside

520
00:43:14.480 --> 00:43:16.800
this building. It might have been in the building, but

521
00:43:16.880 --> 00:43:20.599
outside where I live. It was just a little sneeze

522
00:43:20.679 --> 00:43:32.079
and thinking, so yeah, I why, oh yeah, because my

523
00:43:32.159 --> 00:43:34.639
neighbor in hospital, he's just asking me all these questions,

524
00:43:35.679 --> 00:43:40.079
and I was thinking, what's the catch, How's he going

525
00:43:40.159 --> 00:43:49.400
to lead on to talking about football or sport? And yeah,

526
00:43:50.239 --> 00:43:58.280
he seemed almost almost interested in what I was saying. Weird,

527
00:43:59.719 --> 00:44:09.639
So because he's absolutely he's phonetic. It's a phonetic about sport.

528
00:44:10.159 --> 00:44:12.440
I mean on a level that I've never seen before.

529
00:44:14.280 --> 00:44:15.519
Loves sport.

530
00:44:16.159 --> 00:44:16.320
Oh.

531
00:44:16.360 --> 00:44:19.880
What I did do is because he's saying he didn't

532
00:44:19.880 --> 00:44:23.440
want the TV on, and they've got these TVs, not

533
00:44:23.599 --> 00:44:26.960
like the some of the NHS TVs are not great

534
00:44:27.079 --> 00:44:30.400
quality screens. And there the ones that are the side

535
00:44:30.440 --> 00:44:32.320
of the bed and you have to pay five pounds

536
00:44:32.320 --> 00:44:35.400
a day to have it. These TVs are free to

537
00:44:35.559 --> 00:44:40.880
use and they're decent TVs. And his one was unplucked.

538
00:44:41.239 --> 00:44:43.880
So and the person next to hims had his TV

539
00:44:43.960 --> 00:44:48.079
on the whole time. Now, I didn't realize how good

540
00:44:48.440 --> 00:44:52.480
the screen was the picture, because I've never looked at

541
00:44:52.519 --> 00:44:56.800
the other blokes TV. And I said to my neighbor

542
00:44:57.840 --> 00:45:01.440
in hospital, I said, I would say not that he

543
00:45:01.559 --> 00:45:04.920
in the hospital, because I've talked about a few different neighbors.

544
00:45:04.920 --> 00:45:07.880
I want you to know who are talking about, who

545
00:45:07.960 --> 00:45:12.239
I'm gossiping about. I said to him, you know, wim

546
00:45:12.360 --> 00:45:17.400
Muldon's starting today, and he starts talking about Wimbledon, and

547
00:45:20.000 --> 00:45:22.719
I said, well, why don't you watch it? Oh? No,

548
00:45:22.880 --> 00:45:25.320
I'm happy with my tablet. I said, you've got a

549
00:45:25.679 --> 00:45:29.639
good You've got a television up there, a big screen.

550
00:45:30.679 --> 00:45:33.320
Well compared to his little tablet. It's a big screen.

551
00:45:34.519 --> 00:45:37.119
It's not they're not. They're not big TVs, but probably

552
00:45:37.159 --> 00:45:40.760
twenty four inches or I don't know, thirty inches or something.

553
00:45:40.760 --> 00:45:45.920
They're not. They're not little, but they're not big a

554
00:45:46.039 --> 00:45:49.719
nice size. If you're in a really small room and

555
00:45:51.920 --> 00:45:57.000
it's up, it's kind of I think it's I wonder

556
00:45:57.039 --> 00:45:59.320
if they could be moved down. I'm going to ask that.

557
00:45:59.400 --> 00:46:02.480
I don't maybe there can be. I would need it

558
00:46:02.559 --> 00:46:05.880
moved down for me because with my eyesighting it, i'd

559
00:46:05.920 --> 00:46:13.719
need it closer. And it was unplugged. So between me

560
00:46:13.800 --> 00:46:16.320
and his neighbor next to him, I got the TV

561
00:46:16.400 --> 00:46:20.360
plugged in because he said, oh, it's not working. I said, oh,

562
00:46:20.480 --> 00:46:23.400
And then we had to find the remote control, and

563
00:46:23.519 --> 00:46:25.719
nurse went and got a remote control that he could use,

564
00:46:26.079 --> 00:46:28.679
which was exactly the same as a remote control I've

565
00:46:28.679 --> 00:46:31.440
got here in my hand. And he might be thinking,

566
00:46:31.599 --> 00:46:33.719
why are you Why have you got a TV remote

567
00:46:33.719 --> 00:46:36.719
control in your hand, because I just picked it up.

568
00:46:37.000 --> 00:46:40.480
That's why it's just there to the left. I've not

569
00:46:40.559 --> 00:46:43.119
had a remote control in my hand the whole time

570
00:46:43.159 --> 00:46:50.119
I've been talking. That would be strange. It might not

571
00:46:50.239 --> 00:46:58.039
be strange. I've had a can of whipped cream though. Yeah,

572
00:46:58.400 --> 00:47:02.639
so he said to me. I said to him, and

573
00:47:02.639 --> 00:47:04.159
then he said to me. Then I said to him,

574
00:47:04.920 --> 00:47:07.039
So I plugged it in, turned it on. We got

575
00:47:07.039 --> 00:47:14.159
the TV onto it was. It was a political program

576
00:47:14.360 --> 00:47:19.480
on BBC two and then the live coverage of Wimbledon

577
00:47:19.679 --> 00:47:26.800
starting at I think eleven thirty in the morning. And

578
00:47:26.840 --> 00:47:30.679
once it started, he started to be distracted by.

579
00:47:30.599 --> 00:47:37.480
It, and I thought, yeah, this is good because once

580
00:47:37.559 --> 00:47:41.880
football is on, or rugby or cricket, he's now got

581
00:47:41.880 --> 00:47:42.639
a distraction.

582
00:47:46.159 --> 00:47:48.199
And it was kind of funny because we were talking

583
00:47:49.039 --> 00:47:55.840
and it was it was a women's tennis match and

584
00:47:55.880 --> 00:48:04.079
it was just grunting. It was like ah, and it

585
00:48:04.119 --> 00:48:05.840
was I don't know, I just found it quite funny

586
00:48:05.880 --> 00:48:10.119
because it seemed a little bit inappropriate for well, for

587
00:48:10.199 --> 00:48:14.039
where we were, just to hear, because I kept thinking

588
00:48:14.199 --> 00:48:16.519
I forgot the TV was on. So I've been going

589
00:48:16.559 --> 00:48:19.519
in there for however long, and the TV has never

590
00:48:19.559 --> 00:48:23.519
been on, so any sounds like that I'm used to hearing.

591
00:48:23.639 --> 00:48:29.199
Maybe he is from a different ward, because there's there's

592
00:48:29.320 --> 00:48:38.679
six different wards on that ward. That makes sense, So yeah,

593
00:48:38.800 --> 00:48:43.199
it's a ward, but there's six different rooms with four

594
00:48:43.239 --> 00:48:46.639
beds in each, and then there's a couple of other

595
00:48:46.719 --> 00:48:51.920
kind of single rooms which I'm thinking might be private. Perhaps,

596
00:48:52.000 --> 00:49:00.400
I don't know, I'm not sure. So he it was weird.

597
00:49:01.119 --> 00:49:02.840
I don't know what other people must have thought, if

598
00:49:02.840 --> 00:49:05.280
they'd have heard all that grunting coming out of the

599
00:49:05.360 --> 00:49:10.280
TV or out of our ward. I think they're also

600
00:49:10.440 --> 00:49:15.719
single sex wards, so the men. There's women in that

601
00:49:17.000 --> 00:49:21.079
big ward that he's in, but not in his particular ward.

602
00:49:22.159 --> 00:49:25.280
Does this make sense? It seems to be too many wards.

603
00:49:25.320 --> 00:49:29.599
I'm using the word ward too often. Four wards, six

604
00:49:29.639 --> 00:49:37.719
wards in one ward. But yeah, it's I've not been

605
00:49:37.800 --> 00:49:40.519
in the other wards, but I have. Actually I went

606
00:49:40.559 --> 00:49:45.199
in one by accident, and that was all females, and

607
00:49:45.280 --> 00:49:52.280
I thought, well, it looks like my neighbor. But it wasn't.

608
00:49:53.280 --> 00:49:55.000
Do you ever get that where you see someone and

609
00:49:55.079 --> 00:50:00.159
you just think, oh, and it's not the person. You

610
00:50:00.360 --> 00:50:04.559
try to adapt adapts, you know, scrunch your face up

611
00:50:04.559 --> 00:50:07.400
a little bit and close your eyes half half so

612
00:50:08.280 --> 00:50:10.199
it makes them look a bit more like the person

613
00:50:10.239 --> 00:50:20.840
that you think they should look like. No, okay, and

614
00:50:20.880 --> 00:50:28.480
then I left. So I spent probably four and a

615
00:50:28.599 --> 00:50:33.679
half five hours with him. I never left it half

616
00:50:33.719 --> 00:50:41.599
one or maybe it was one, not sure. I think

617
00:50:41.639 --> 00:50:44.519
it was. He didn't eat his fish and chips. They're

618
00:50:44.559 --> 00:50:48.159
still on the side. No one's noticed. They're still on

619
00:50:48.199 --> 00:50:51.760
the side of his bed bike, on his bedside cabinet thing.

620
00:50:53.280 --> 00:50:55.440
And it's going to start stinking at some point, isn't

621
00:50:55.440 --> 00:51:02.719
that fish? It's been there since Friday. You're going to

622
00:51:02.800 --> 00:51:05.440
start noting. There's be going to be cats. And why

623
00:51:05.480 --> 00:51:07.280
is there so many cats in the ward where they're

624
00:51:07.280 --> 00:51:10.239
coming from? Why they're coming in there? They'll all be

625
00:51:10.280 --> 00:51:13.000
climbing up to the windows now on a big gladder,

626
00:51:13.360 --> 00:51:16.320
a cat ladder. Is there such a thing as a

627
00:51:16.360 --> 00:51:19.719
cat ladder? I suppose they could all just climb on

628
00:51:19.719 --> 00:51:24.280
each other's backs and make a big heap. I don't

629
00:51:24.320 --> 00:51:28.039
know if that's possible. Oh you know what I forgot

630
00:51:28.079 --> 00:51:32.960
to do today. I was going to ask somebody if

631
00:51:33.000 --> 00:51:35.480
I'm able to take Vinnie with me to see my neighbor,

632
00:51:35.519 --> 00:51:38.159
because he keeps asking about him and he wants to

633
00:51:38.199 --> 00:51:43.800
see him. And another person who walks their dog told

634
00:51:43.840 --> 00:51:50.280
me that sometimes the hospital does allow depending on the

635
00:51:50.639 --> 00:51:56.719
patient's situation. They do allow hospital visits with a dog,

636
00:51:57.480 --> 00:52:02.000
but in a specific part of the hospital. So he'd

637
00:52:02.000 --> 00:52:03.599
have to go to that part of the hospital and

638
00:52:03.599 --> 00:52:06.119
I'd have to take Vinnie there and he could sort

639
00:52:06.159 --> 00:52:09.480
of spend time with him. The alternative is if he

640
00:52:09.559 --> 00:52:13.360
comes outside. I know, I can take Vinnie outside the

641
00:52:13.400 --> 00:52:21.199
grounds of hospital and he could come downstairs. But he can't. Really,

642
00:52:22.519 --> 00:52:25.639
I don't know how to explain this, but he doesn't

643
00:52:26.480 --> 00:52:32.519
seem to the mobility he had a week ago doesn't

644
00:52:32.519 --> 00:52:36.039
seem to be there for some reason. You know, before

645
00:52:37.800 --> 00:52:40.559
I think he's been going downhill a little bit, just

646
00:52:40.679 --> 00:52:44.960
I think it's his age maybe. But the week before

647
00:52:44.960 --> 00:52:48.920
he went in hospital, he was walking around every day,

648
00:52:48.960 --> 00:52:54.199
going to the Petro station, taking strides. You know, he

649
00:52:54.320 --> 00:52:57.920
wasn't like now now, he's walking one foot next to another,

650
00:52:58.119 --> 00:53:01.199
next to the other when I take him outside. I

651
00:53:01.199 --> 00:53:03.400
couldn't take him outside today because I was waiting for

652
00:53:03.440 --> 00:53:05.760
the doctor, and the other day we went out and

653
00:53:05.800 --> 00:53:09.599
the doctor came while we were out. Its not ideal,

654
00:53:13.920 --> 00:53:20.320
but he's really walking very very slowly and at times

655
00:53:20.320 --> 00:53:25.400
holding onto me. So I don't know. It might be

656
00:53:25.440 --> 00:53:29.880
a confidence thing. It might just he might have a

657
00:53:29.920 --> 00:53:35.480
similar thing to me where it's there's too many people.

658
00:53:36.840 --> 00:53:39.400
He's not used to that. It's not used to be

659
00:53:39.639 --> 00:53:45.719
walking down a hallway with let's face it, thousands of

660
00:53:45.760 --> 00:53:49.679
people coming and going, you know, and everyone's walking at

661
00:53:49.679 --> 00:53:56.559
different angles, different directions, people walking directly at you, and

662
00:53:56.800 --> 00:53:59.960
trolley's and you know, all sort of people on gurney

663
00:54:00.280 --> 00:54:11.360
and deliveries and all kinds of stuff. No parachutes and

664
00:54:11.840 --> 00:54:14.480
no elephants. But you know, I'm not saying everything's in

665
00:54:14.480 --> 00:54:19.159
the hallway, but it's quite a lot of stuff. So

666
00:54:19.239 --> 00:54:20.800
I don't know how much of it is that. But

667
00:54:22.360 --> 00:54:25.400
he doesn't go downstairs on his own. He doesn't go

668
00:54:25.719 --> 00:54:29.400
he doesn't go to the shop on his own, which

669
00:54:30.360 --> 00:54:32.880
a week ago he would have done. Before he went

670
00:54:32.920 --> 00:54:36.519
in there, he would have just you know, if he

671
00:54:36.599 --> 00:54:39.320
was visiting someone, Let's say, if he was visiting me

672
00:54:39.840 --> 00:54:41.800
and I said, oh, I need a bottle of coke,

673
00:54:41.960 --> 00:54:45.119
or can you get me some cheese, which is what

674
00:54:45.159 --> 00:54:50.000
he wanted today. Can you get me something from the shop?

675
00:54:51.000 --> 00:54:52.880
He just said, yeah, okay, you need have gone down

676
00:54:53.039 --> 00:54:59.519
and got it for me. So yeah, there was a

677
00:55:00.679 --> 00:55:05.400
that's a difference that I've noticed. And he's not talking

678
00:55:05.440 --> 00:55:10.480
as loudly as he used to. He's still talking unstop,

679
00:55:10.679 --> 00:55:14.159
but is how much quieter talk? Because I can't hear

680
00:55:14.239 --> 00:55:17.320
him sometimes I kind of have to get closer to

681
00:55:17.400 --> 00:55:20.119
him and then he just goes boom in my ear

682
00:55:20.320 --> 00:55:28.360
makes me jump. So I was going to do some

683
00:55:28.519 --> 00:55:34.400
washing today, some laundry. What do I say to him?

684
00:55:34.559 --> 00:55:38.280
I said something, I've got to do some laundry today.

685
00:55:38.440 --> 00:55:45.760
He said, he thought, I said something else. What sounds

686
00:55:45.800 --> 00:55:58.480
like laundry? Now? He thought, I said law degree, So

687
00:55:58.559 --> 00:56:00.599
I need to start. I need you need to do

688
00:56:00.679 --> 00:56:08.840
some law do some laundry. And he said, oh, when

689
00:56:08.880 --> 00:56:13.559
are you starting that? I said what I said this afternoon?

690
00:56:13.599 --> 00:56:20.880
He said oh? I said yeah. He said, like, well,

691
00:56:20.920 --> 00:56:22.559
I didn't know why it was so interested in me

692
00:56:22.639 --> 00:56:27.039
doing my laundry because I'll be honest and i'll break

693
00:56:27.039 --> 00:56:29.199
this to you. I don't want to come across as

694
00:56:29.280 --> 00:56:34.800
being ungrateful or negative, but I don't get a huge

695
00:56:34.880 --> 00:56:37.519
kick from doing the laundry. It doesn't give me the

696
00:56:38.239 --> 00:56:40.920
it doesn't give me everything I hoped I hoped out

697
00:56:40.960 --> 00:56:45.880
of life. You know. It's but at the same time,

698
00:56:45.920 --> 00:56:48.079
it's a hell of lot easier than going to the laundret,

699
00:56:48.880 --> 00:56:52.480
which is what I did for most of my adult life,

700
00:56:53.199 --> 00:56:57.880
well since the age of sixteen. So I do appreciate

701
00:56:57.960 --> 00:56:59.960
not going to the laundret. And if I didn't know

702
00:57:00.199 --> 00:57:04.280
washing machine, I would do my washing by hand. I'm

703
00:57:04.360 --> 00:57:11.039
never going to a laundrette again, especially as the Yeah,

704
00:57:11.119 --> 00:57:14.320
the local laundrette, what there isn't one. So the closest

705
00:57:14.360 --> 00:57:17.519
laundrette is about six miles away, six and a half

706
00:57:17.599 --> 00:57:22.920
miles away. So yeah, I'm not getting there. Yeah, I

707
00:57:23.000 --> 00:57:24.519
used to because I used to live across the road

708
00:57:24.559 --> 00:57:27.840
from there. Even then it was it was a struggle,

709
00:57:30.199 --> 00:57:31.840
still used to do. I used to watch my stuff

710
00:57:31.840 --> 00:57:35.840
by hands sometimes. Then I just couldn't face going over there.

711
00:57:37.639 --> 00:57:40.360
I guess I didn't have the same relationship with her.

712
00:57:41.320 --> 00:57:43.559
The launderette ladies I did with the laundrette lady in

713
00:57:43.679 --> 00:57:48.639
Stratford in London, although I did end up being friends

714
00:57:48.639 --> 00:57:54.440
of her. There's two ways it can go. I found

715
00:57:55.800 --> 00:58:02.119
with someone that washes your underpants, okay, on a regular basis.

716
00:58:03.199 --> 00:58:09.840
So the relationship is probably in some ways the most

717
00:58:09.920 --> 00:58:19.559
intimate relationship I have ever had with a female. It's

718
00:58:19.639 --> 00:58:27.880
something very there's a lot of unsaid stuff, you know,

719
00:58:27.920 --> 00:58:35.719
it's like an understanding. I no amount of money, no

720
00:58:35.880 --> 00:58:39.719
amount of money that I gave my launderette ladies for

721
00:58:40.119 --> 00:58:45.599
washing my clothes was compensation enough for what they had

722
00:58:45.639 --> 00:58:49.960
to go through, is you know, for handling my washing

723
00:58:50.440 --> 00:58:57.280
my underpants or whatever. So I realized that, and I've

724
00:58:57.320 --> 00:59:01.800
always realized that right from an early age. I thought, yeah,

725
00:59:02.360 --> 00:59:05.400
it's a job I wouldn't particularly want to do out

726
00:59:05.519 --> 00:59:09.719
and I've had some really greaty jobs and I don't.

727
00:59:09.840 --> 00:59:12.519
It's just something I don't think i'd really I'd rather

728
00:59:13.440 --> 00:59:20.800
I'd rather work down the sewers. I think they do that.

729
00:59:21.679 --> 00:59:26.800
It's just yeah, it's so I had. But the difference

730
00:59:26.920 --> 00:59:30.880
is instead of like, it's not looking down at someone

731
00:59:30.960 --> 00:59:36.320
doing a job is admiration. That's how I feel. I

732
00:59:36.360 --> 00:59:39.599
admire someone who can do something like that, something that

733
00:59:40.280 --> 00:59:44.960
I don't think I could do, and it's just because

734
00:59:45.000 --> 00:59:52.599
it would just it's I don't have the rights. There's

735
00:59:52.599 --> 00:59:56.880
a certain skill set that I just don't have to

736
00:59:57.000 --> 01:00:00.320
do something like that to do that kind of work.

737
01:00:00.400 --> 01:00:02.920
So I've got a lot of admiration. I do admire

738
01:00:02.960 --> 01:00:05.800
people that can do things that I can't do, which

739
01:00:05.840 --> 01:00:08.079
means I admire probably most of the people in the

740
01:00:08.079 --> 01:00:11.760
world because I can't really do too much. I can

741
01:00:11.840 --> 01:00:17.800
talk absolutely rubbish for an hour. I'm quite good at

742
01:00:17.800 --> 01:00:25.199
watching television. That's about it. Really, I ain't got much

743
01:00:25.199 --> 01:00:30.480
else to me. It's that's my skill. My skill is

744
01:00:31.639 --> 01:00:39.960
just talking absolute warbly bobbly for whatever, you know, an hour,

745
01:00:40.079 --> 01:00:44.639
hour and a half, I've been talking for an hour.

746
01:00:44.679 --> 01:00:48.719
I've not even got on to the subject of boring

747
01:00:48.840 --> 01:00:54.320
hospital stories. Apart from I guess this last hour being boring.

748
01:00:56.559 --> 01:01:03.559
I can't stop talking. What's going on, By the way,

749
01:01:04.039 --> 01:01:07.519
I don't. I don't want this podcast to turn into

750
01:01:08.840 --> 01:01:12.440
me talking about hospitals the whole time. That's that's not

751
01:01:12.559 --> 01:01:16.719
my intention. So if you feel that's happening, let me know.

752
01:01:17.480 --> 01:01:22.400
But over the years, what you may have noticed if

753
01:01:22.400 --> 01:01:25.800
you've been following me for a while, is I do

754
01:01:26.920 --> 01:01:30.239
talk about what's going on in my life as well

755
01:01:30.280 --> 01:01:35.679
as making up a lot of just silly stuff. This

756
01:01:36.119 --> 01:01:39.320
so this is one of those occasions where I'm I'm

757
01:01:39.400 --> 01:01:47.440
kind of intertwining reality and stupidity, I guess, instead of

758
01:01:47.480 --> 01:01:52.239
being mainly stupidity. So I try and mix it up

759
01:01:54.360 --> 01:02:11.159
a little bit, just just a little bit, and M yeah,

760
01:02:11.320 --> 01:02:16.280
I guess because I didn't do Did I do a

761
01:02:16.360 --> 01:02:19.360
recording yesterday? I think I did? Didn't I I think

762
01:02:19.400 --> 01:02:21.599
I did. Didn't do one Saturday? Did a Q and

763
01:02:21.639 --> 01:02:27.079
a Friday? I think yesterday. By the way, you might

764
01:02:27.119 --> 01:02:30.719
be able to hear some background music. Sorry about that,

765
01:02:31.400 --> 01:02:35.320
but it's summer. Everyone's got their windows open rightly, so

766
01:02:37.119 --> 01:02:43.159
and you know what yesterday I was I've made a

767
01:02:43.199 --> 01:02:48.760
recording in the afternoon, and I could hear the neighbors

768
01:02:48.800 --> 01:02:53.880
shouting as I was doing the editing, and I thought, wow,

769
01:02:55.159 --> 01:03:00.199
if you can hear that on this microphone, then that

770
01:03:00.400 --> 01:03:04.519
just shows you how loud it was, because they're not

771
01:03:04.639 --> 01:03:08.760
in my garden, in a different garden over a fence.

772
01:03:12.400 --> 01:03:16.519
Just shows you how loud it was. But it didn't

773
01:03:16.559 --> 01:03:22.960
seem to be continuous. That was just a particular rah

774
01:03:23.159 --> 01:03:27.760
rah rah rah h like that. I mean I think

775
01:03:27.800 --> 01:03:30.760
I just made more sense than the person that was shouting.

776
01:03:30.880 --> 01:03:38.920
But yeah, kind of. So I've been in hospital twice.

777
01:03:40.159 --> 01:03:43.119
Oh now we start the recording an hour into it.

778
01:03:43.280 --> 01:03:46.679
Begin to start, now, are we well? Okay, calm down.

779
01:03:47.920 --> 01:03:52.679
I've been in hospital twice. I had my adenoids out

780
01:03:52.880 --> 01:03:58.440
when I was seven. I was about eight. I think

781
01:03:58.480 --> 01:04:01.239
it was either just before I was a or just after.

782
01:04:01.880 --> 01:04:04.960
I think it was just before I was eight years old. Now,

783
01:04:05.599 --> 01:04:09.679
the reason I had my adenoids out is because I

784
01:04:09.920 --> 01:04:12.760
was partially deaf. We have a drink of water.

785
01:04:17.440 --> 01:04:30.800
Oh yeah, so.

786
01:04:32.599 --> 01:04:40.000
It's basically just start. It started with h. So I

787
01:04:40.079 --> 01:04:42.559
was in junior school and I started having to go

788
01:04:42.760 --> 01:04:49.400
to the nurse. So I was getting earaches, and progressively

789
01:04:49.480 --> 01:04:55.320
it was kind of becoming really really regular. I don't

790
01:04:55.400 --> 01:04:57.719
know how much I was skiving. If I'm honest with you,

791
01:05:00.280 --> 01:05:02.639
I might have just liked the nurse. I don't know.

792
01:05:02.800 --> 01:05:08.800
I can't remember, but I think that when I told

793
01:05:08.880 --> 01:05:14.880
us she had nice eyes. It's possible this inappropriateness started

794
01:05:15.079 --> 01:05:24.039
many very very young. I said, oh, yeah, I had

795
01:05:24.239 --> 01:05:28.719
my I didn't know what was going on. And then

796
01:05:28.800 --> 01:05:31.119
I started going to the I get sent to the doctors.

797
01:05:31.599 --> 01:05:35.320
Then I got son to the hospital and they started

798
01:05:35.400 --> 01:05:40.159
testing my ears and to see what was wrong with

799
01:05:40.199 --> 01:05:42.840
my ears. And they started testing my ears as in

800
01:05:43.480 --> 01:05:48.119
not just looking through them and stuff through them. I've

801
01:05:48.159 --> 01:05:51.880
been through them, but into them with those little eye

802
01:05:51.960 --> 01:05:58.400
things that they do. But they started to give me

803
01:05:58.519 --> 01:06:03.239
hearing tests and I was partially deaf in my ear. Now.

804
01:06:04.000 --> 01:06:08.639
They said, that explains why I'm so behind at school,

805
01:06:11.480 --> 01:06:13.480
and it's really weird. I seem to be the only

806
01:06:13.559 --> 01:06:17.559
one that was surprised at that statement. I didn't know

807
01:06:17.559 --> 01:06:25.679
I was behind a school. I said, look, it's happy

808
01:06:25.719 --> 01:06:30.119
when I'm behind. I'm wow. I finished staring at me.

809
01:06:30.199 --> 01:06:31.440
What are you staring at me for?

810
01:06:32.199 --> 01:06:35.880
Were you staring at You're deady for? I think he's

811
01:06:35.960 --> 01:06:39.679
just happy to have me home. I spent the whole

812
01:06:39.719 --> 01:06:43.119
weekend with him here this weekend, and he was boring,

813
01:06:43.400 --> 01:06:47.840
but he seemed so much happy to have me here.

814
01:06:48.559 --> 01:06:51.400
He was cuddled up to me. Weren't you You were

815
01:06:51.400 --> 01:06:53.239
happy to have your daddy back. Wasn't here for a

816
01:06:53.280 --> 01:06:56.039
couple of days, and I'm here tomorrow as well, So

817
01:06:56.079 --> 01:07:00.519
I'll spend all day with him tomorrow, and then I'll

818
01:07:00.719 --> 01:07:04.960
go on Wednesday for a bit visit, and then Thursday,

819
01:07:04.960 --> 01:07:07.840
I'll have all day with my little baby again. On Thursday,

820
01:07:07.960 --> 01:07:11.480
won't I Yeah, then I'll go up to visit uncle

821
01:07:11.599 --> 01:07:15.280
and my uncle sausages that's what Vinny calls him, Uncle's

822
01:07:15.280 --> 01:07:21.679
sausages because he gives him sausages. And I will then

823
01:07:24.239 --> 01:07:26.840
have the weekend off again. So I'm not going to

824
01:07:26.880 --> 01:07:28.400
go up at the weekends, and I'm going to go

825
01:07:28.440 --> 01:07:35.000
on Monday, Wednesday free right day. Yeah, depending, of course,

826
01:07:35.280 --> 01:07:39.400
I'm upon the situation. You know, if he called me

827
01:07:39.480 --> 01:07:41.400
up and said, could you please come tomorrow, I'll go.

828
01:07:42.760 --> 01:07:46.039
There's not an issue with that. But generally I told

829
01:07:46.119 --> 01:07:49.880
him i'd be there Wednesday. I'll call him tomorrow I

830
01:07:49.920 --> 01:07:52.599
see how he is. But if he needed me to

831
01:07:52.719 --> 01:07:56.800
go up, then I would go up. I mean, if

832
01:07:56.840 --> 01:07:58.280
he needed me to go up now, i'd go up.

833
01:07:58.320 --> 01:08:00.719
Now you know, I'll go back. So it's not that,

834
01:08:00.840 --> 01:08:05.119
ain't no problem. You know, I've told him my phone

835
01:08:05.199 --> 01:08:08.039
is on anytime if he needs to call me, which

836
01:08:08.079 --> 01:08:14.440
he did over the weekend, and I'm kind of his

837
01:08:15.639 --> 01:08:19.359
I say lifeline and that's very dramatic. But I'm I

838
01:08:19.479 --> 01:08:22.479
was someone that he can just contact if he just

839
01:08:22.560 --> 01:08:28.159
wants to just update me on stuff, you know, even

840
01:08:28.199 --> 01:08:32.920
if it's And he phoned me up yesterday to talk

841
01:08:32.960 --> 01:08:37.119
about Jaws the movie, and him and his neighbor in

842
01:08:37.239 --> 01:08:40.079
there they were having like a little quiz quizzy game

843
01:08:40.560 --> 01:08:46.000
talking about movies, and they were trying to remember the

844
01:08:46.880 --> 01:08:51.680
main character that the actual actors in Jaws. So you

845
01:08:51.800 --> 01:08:58.960
had Robert Shaw, David Schneid or Schneider. I forget what

846
01:08:59.079 --> 01:09:04.680
his first name is, and I've lost his name again.

847
01:09:04.720 --> 01:09:12.560
I did remember it. He was in Uh do Do

848
01:09:12.880 --> 01:09:18.399
Do Do Do? That movie something of the Close Encounters

849
01:09:18.439 --> 01:09:22.279
of the Third kind. So it's those three that were

850
01:09:22.319 --> 01:09:28.399
in that movie. They were the stars and Schneider who

851
01:09:28.560 --> 01:09:32.640
what was his first name? But Robert Shaw was the

852
01:09:33.279 --> 01:09:36.560
He was a captain, the captain of the of the

853
01:09:37.439 --> 01:09:42.640
the boat and what's his name?

854
01:09:43.119 --> 01:09:44.199
Do do do do do?

855
01:09:45.720 --> 01:09:52.479
That? That bloke he was also in It is it

856
01:09:53.199 --> 01:09:55.760
Schneider that says or need to get a bigger boat?

857
01:09:56.199 --> 01:09:59.319
I think how's a good line in it, need to

858
01:09:59.319 --> 01:10:05.600
get a bigger boat. There was a movie called The

859
01:10:05.720 --> 01:10:09.319
Perfect Storm, and I think this is in the two thousands,

860
01:10:10.399 --> 01:10:14.039
and it was basically a really big storm. That's basically

861
01:10:14.079 --> 01:10:19.399
what's around a boat in a storm, really big boat

862
01:10:19.760 --> 01:10:26.600
in a really bigger storm. And I remember seeing the

863
01:10:29.079 --> 01:10:34.399
the trailer for this movie on television and in the trailer,

864
01:10:35.560 --> 01:10:37.560
this is when it was like being released at the cinema.

865
01:10:38.359 --> 01:10:41.560
In the trailer, it was a bloke from a beautiful

866
01:10:41.640 --> 01:10:47.479
mind what's his name, and Gladiator, so he was the

867
01:10:47.520 --> 01:10:52.239
star of this movie. In the trailer, there's a part

868
01:10:52.399 --> 01:10:58.079
where there's this massive wave coming and Gladiator, a beautiful

869
01:10:58.119 --> 01:11:05.880
mind man shouts out hold on. At that point, I thought,

870
01:11:06.000 --> 01:11:10.720
I'm never going to watch that movie. If that's going

871
01:11:10.800 --> 01:11:14.800
to be the hook word hold on. If that's the

872
01:11:14.880 --> 01:11:16.920
best they can do in a situation like that, just

873
01:11:17.000 --> 01:11:19.640
shout hold on, then no, I'm not gonna watch it. Sorry.

874
01:11:20.760 --> 01:11:26.199
If that, if that's the level of dialogue, just I

875
01:11:26.239 --> 01:11:30.039
don't know why it just But there again, I had

876
01:11:30.079 --> 01:11:34.640
the same I had the same opinion about Gladiator. I thought,

877
01:11:34.680 --> 01:11:36.760
I'm not watching this, but it was a great movie.

878
01:11:37.800 --> 01:11:41.279
I've found it to be a great movie. I need

879
01:11:41.359 --> 01:11:43.600
to be specific that I I mean, it was class

880
01:11:43.720 --> 01:11:49.359
is a great movie by the critics and by the

881
01:11:49.479 --> 01:11:58.279
audience members. But I can only go by what I found,

882
01:11:58.920 --> 01:12:05.079
and it was I partly watched Gladiator too. But I

883
01:12:05.199 --> 01:12:11.159
made this error because I got this little walking machine.

884
01:12:12.279 --> 01:12:15.920
It's really cheap, nasty for members, and I've got it

885
01:12:16.039 --> 01:12:20.439
about a year and a half ago. But it's really honestly,

886
01:12:20.720 --> 01:12:26.880
it's it doesn't feel safe even walking on it, like

887
01:12:26.960 --> 01:12:32.439
a treadmill. But it's really tacky, and I'm a little

888
01:12:32.439 --> 01:12:37.880
bit worried about the carpet underneath. Seriously, but I thought,

889
01:12:37.920 --> 01:12:39.520
you know what, I'm going to give it a go.

890
01:12:40.640 --> 01:12:44.760
So I started watching Gladiator, and I thought, I'm only

891
01:12:44.840 --> 01:12:46.359
going to walk and I walked on it for about

892
01:12:46.359 --> 01:12:49.800
an hour, no half an hour maybe, so said I'm

893
01:12:49.800 --> 01:12:51.960
only going to walk on it when I watched Gladiator.

894
01:12:54.000 --> 01:12:56.600
Actually that's not what I thought. I thought, I'm never

895
01:12:56.640 --> 01:13:00.640
going to walk on it again, because it's rubbish. No,

896
01:13:00.640 --> 01:13:03.720
I didn't. Fact, I did feel like I was actually

897
01:13:04.239 --> 01:13:08.079
touching the carpet, which is not supposed to happen. And

898
01:13:08.159 --> 01:13:11.600
I was a bit concerned about my neighbor downstairs because

899
01:13:11.640 --> 01:13:17.840
she did see me a few days later and she said,

900
01:13:20.039 --> 01:13:25.159
were you dancing upstairs? I said no, She said, you

901
01:13:25.239 --> 01:13:28.960
were doing something because the whole flat was shaking. I said, no,

902
01:13:30.359 --> 01:13:34.680
I don't even live there anymore. She said what I said,

903
01:13:34.720 --> 01:13:36.279
I do live there. I don't know why I said that,

904
01:13:36.479 --> 01:13:38.800
but yeah, it wasn't me, she said it was who

905
01:13:38.840 --> 01:13:41.479
else would it be. I said that a pigeons, maybe

906
01:13:42.199 --> 01:13:48.680
in the loft. Pigeons often are naughty in the loft.

907
01:13:50.359 --> 01:13:52.560
She said, how would the pigeons in the loft affect

908
01:13:53.439 --> 01:13:57.720
my flat when your whole flat is in between me

909
01:13:57.960 --> 01:14:02.840
and the loft. I said, I don't have the answers

910
01:14:02.880 --> 01:14:07.159
to every question. You know, I'm not. I'm not a

911
01:14:07.279 --> 01:14:14.159
for thoras. She said, this a fulfill left. I said, yeah,

912
01:14:14.359 --> 01:14:19.680
for thor. She said, well, if you're trying to say forsaurus,

913
01:14:20.439 --> 01:14:22.760
that doesn't have the answers to any questions. That's just

914
01:14:24.000 --> 01:14:29.520
descriptions of words and various different versions of the same word. Really,

915
01:14:31.359 --> 01:14:35.079
and I said yeah. She said we didn't make sense.

916
01:14:36.239 --> 01:14:44.439
I said, you don't make sense. Yeah. It was one

917
01:14:44.479 --> 01:14:48.560
of the better conversations I've had this year, actually, But

918
01:14:48.680 --> 01:14:53.199
then I didn't go back on the treadmill, if you

919
01:14:53.239 --> 01:14:56.000
want to call it that. So I'm not And it's

920
01:14:56.039 --> 01:14:57.920
weird because I want to watch the rest of the movie.

921
01:14:58.000 --> 01:15:01.920
But every time I go to like watch it, I think, no,

922
01:15:02.079 --> 01:15:03.800
I need to need to get on the treadmill to

923
01:15:03.840 --> 01:15:10.359
watch that. How strange is it? Isn't that a weird one?

924
01:15:14.960 --> 01:15:19.319
So I was having my ears tested and they said, oh, yeah,

925
01:15:19.439 --> 01:15:21.840
I was partly I don't even know which ear it was,

926
01:15:23.680 --> 01:15:25.359
right ear or left it. I could even tell you

927
01:15:25.560 --> 01:15:28.039
such a long time ago I knew at the time,

928
01:15:29.680 --> 01:15:33.880
and it said, yeah, you're partially deaf in one ear,

929
01:15:34.239 --> 01:15:41.199
which explains why you're well. They didn't tell that. My

930
01:15:41.359 --> 01:15:44.560
parents said that to me. It's why I'm so behind

931
01:15:44.680 --> 01:15:48.000
at school, so they've first all they blamed while I

932
01:15:48.119 --> 01:15:50.920
was so behind at school on the fact that I

933
01:15:51.079 --> 01:15:54.119
moved around so much as a little kid, so I

934
01:15:54.239 --> 01:15:57.000
never stayed in any school for a very long period

935
01:15:57.039 --> 01:16:03.079
of time. So pretty much taught myself to read, and

936
01:16:03.439 --> 01:16:07.079
my writing wasn't up to much at the age of seven,

937
01:16:08.479 --> 01:16:11.800
but you know I did. I picked it up and

938
01:16:11.960 --> 01:16:18.159
I loved reading, so I definitely wasn't. I wasn't behind.

939
01:16:18.279 --> 01:16:21.159
I personally wouldn't say that I was behind in reading.

940
01:16:23.600 --> 01:16:27.680
Whether I understood what I was reading, it's still an

941
01:16:27.720 --> 01:16:29.840
issue now. I'm not sure how much I understand. But

942
01:16:30.640 --> 01:16:38.640
I and writing. I learned to do joined up writing

943
01:16:38.840 --> 01:16:44.319
when I was about nine, nine or ten. That's when

944
01:16:44.359 --> 01:16:54.520
I learned to start doing joined up writing. And writing

945
01:16:54.720 --> 01:16:58.840
was okay. I was okay with writing. I didn't necessarily

946
01:16:59.239 --> 01:17:07.720
understand or the apostrophes and commas and stuff I understood

947
01:17:08.079 --> 01:17:16.279
full stops made sense. So I wasn't necessarily grammatically correct,

948
01:17:17.119 --> 01:17:22.840
but I did as far as writing goes. But reading, yeah,

949
01:17:24.279 --> 01:17:28.920
reading was something that I just adored. I loved reading.

950
01:17:29.960 --> 01:17:33.039
And something happened the other day. I was watching a

951
01:17:33.119 --> 01:17:36.479
YouTube channel, YouTube video and it was about the Wizard

952
01:17:36.520 --> 01:17:41.880
of Oz. Now i'd forgotten or I didn't know, but

953
01:17:41.920 --> 01:17:44.800
I think I did previously. I think I did previously know,

954
01:17:44.880 --> 01:17:48.880
but I think i'd forgotten it. The Wizard of Oz books.

955
01:17:49.039 --> 01:17:54.079
There was a lot of books, like a lot, and

956
01:17:54.159 --> 01:17:58.000
the bloke through wrote the Wizard of Oz wrote lots

957
01:17:58.000 --> 01:18:02.159
of books about Oz and the different characters in US. Now,

958
01:18:04.760 --> 01:18:06.720
this is a memory that I'm not sure if it's

959
01:18:06.800 --> 01:18:10.159
true or not, but I'm pretty certain I read most

960
01:18:10.199 --> 01:18:13.760
of those books because I would get a book like

961
01:18:13.840 --> 01:18:16.560
that and i'd read it overnight or over a couple

962
01:18:16.560 --> 01:18:19.840
of days. Because I was just it was almost like

963
01:18:22.760 --> 01:18:27.000
it's like being really thirsty and drinking a lot of water.

964
01:18:28.119 --> 01:18:30.199
That was almost a bit like that for me. When

965
01:18:30.239 --> 01:18:32.920
I was reading, I just thought, oh, more, more and

966
01:18:33.000 --> 01:18:36.720
more and more loved it. And when I talk about it,

967
01:18:36.840 --> 01:18:39.640
it makes me hard, No, it makes me not horn.

968
01:18:39.720 --> 01:18:40.159
It makes me.

969
01:18:43.159 --> 01:18:50.119
I didn't mean it makes me kind of damp. No,

970
01:18:50.279 --> 01:18:52.880
not damp. It makes me kind of want to do it,

971
01:18:52.920 --> 01:18:54.279
That's what I mean. It makes me want to kind

972
01:18:54.319 --> 01:18:57.800
of guess my juice is going again. That probably sounds

973
01:18:57.840 --> 01:19:01.800
wrong to get a book, and I'm not even talking

974
01:19:01.840 --> 01:19:05.399
about factual books, which is something that I've focused on

975
01:19:05.640 --> 01:19:12.119
for most of my adult life. Really, I'd like to

976
01:19:12.199 --> 01:19:21.520
get back to maybe reading some what do you call

977
01:19:21.560 --> 01:19:28.359
it fiction? I guess yeah, story books and perhaps not

978
01:19:28.680 --> 01:19:31.119
most supposed to call them story books, but that's what

979
01:19:31.199 --> 01:19:33.880
they are, isn't as a story. I'd like to get

980
01:19:33.920 --> 01:19:41.720
back to that. And maybe I did think about writing

981
01:19:41.800 --> 01:19:45.399
my own romantic novel, but doing it in my own,

982
01:19:45.520 --> 01:19:50.920
you know, doing my own little way. I did do it. Oh,

983
01:19:51.039 --> 01:19:56.119
I did this recording. I think it was a video,

984
01:19:57.520 --> 01:20:01.119
it might have been an audio, and I posted it

985
01:20:01.239 --> 01:20:06.840
online and a few this is back when I was

986
01:20:08.079 --> 01:20:12.840
fairly doing quite well on YouTube. They got quite quite

987
01:20:12.880 --> 01:20:18.119
a positive response. But I lost it. I lost the

988
01:20:18.199 --> 01:20:21.560
recording somewhere along the line. But it was quite funny,

989
01:20:22.239 --> 01:20:25.239
and it was just a story of me a romantic

990
01:20:25.439 --> 01:20:29.359
encounter on a train and I was just saying all

991
01:20:29.359 --> 01:20:32.760
the wrong things and it was but this is I mean,

992
01:20:34.000 --> 01:20:37.560
we're talking like two tenty twelve. I think I did

993
01:20:37.640 --> 01:20:43.640
this recording, and yeah, well I wish I had it,

994
01:20:43.760 --> 01:20:48.079
just so I could have a little listen. I also

995
01:20:48.159 --> 01:20:55.680
did a recording based on Andre talking and it was

996
01:20:55.760 --> 01:20:58.239
a whole recording of him just making fun of me.

997
01:20:59.079 --> 01:21:02.680
I think I lost that as well, so that would

998
01:21:02.680 --> 01:21:04.239
have been I would be good to be able to

999
01:21:04.359 --> 01:21:09.840
listen to. Lost a lot of recordings over the years,

1000
01:21:10.800 --> 01:21:14.520
a good few hundred videos and recordings, audio recordings. I've

1001
01:21:14.560 --> 01:21:26.319
lost some that were potentially not too awful, potentially I reckon.

1002
01:21:26.399 --> 01:21:31.039
Over the nineteen years I've been doing these things, there

1003
01:21:31.079 --> 01:21:33.359
must be I've got to have at least a handful

1004
01:21:34.039 --> 01:21:39.720
of decent recordings, ones that are just good. There's got

1005
01:21:39.840 --> 01:21:43.279
to be. There's got to be a few little gems there. Surely,

1006
01:21:43.840 --> 01:21:53.960
even if it was accidental so the doctor regarding my

1007
01:21:54.119 --> 01:21:58.960
hearings said, well, it's going to be pretty much one

1008
01:21:59.000 --> 01:22:04.079
of two things. Either I was born that way, so

1009
01:22:04.159 --> 01:22:08.439
I've always been partially deaf in one ear. Or I'd

1010
01:22:08.479 --> 01:22:11.520
had an accident and bang my head when I was

1011
01:22:11.560 --> 01:22:15.039
a kid little, which did happen, but I think it

1012
01:22:15.119 --> 01:22:17.439
happens for a lot of kids, don't there. But I

1013
01:22:17.479 --> 01:22:20.039
remember I fell down some concrete steps once when I

1014
01:22:20.159 --> 01:22:28.159
was about five, four or five, And yeah, health and

1015
01:22:28.279 --> 01:22:31.960
safety wasn't really a thing back then in the seventies,

1016
01:22:32.079 --> 01:22:37.680
So yeah, I did take a Yeah, definitely had a

1017
01:22:37.720 --> 01:22:42.840
few bashes on the head over my childhood. But I

1018
01:22:42.960 --> 01:22:44.760
might also have been born like this. I don't know.

1019
01:22:46.279 --> 01:22:51.079
So what they did is they it was It's basically

1020
01:22:51.159 --> 01:22:55.800
just a blockage. So my adinoids were blocking or causing

1021
01:22:56.439 --> 01:23:02.560
a blockage in one of my ears, maybe both my ears,

1022
01:23:02.600 --> 01:23:05.319
but I think it was one. So they took my

1023
01:23:05.359 --> 01:23:11.479
had anoys out when I was I was either eight

1024
01:23:11.680 --> 01:23:16.399
or just before I was eight. My biggest memory of

1025
01:23:16.479 --> 01:23:21.079
that two things. First of all, I've made Teddy Bear

1026
01:23:21.159 --> 01:23:24.600
with me, which was nice. I love my little Teddy Bear,

1027
01:23:26.199 --> 01:23:29.359
and I might have called him Teddy And you might

1028
01:23:29.520 --> 01:23:34.319
think oh that's original, Oh Teddy like okay, Well, my

1029
01:23:34.479 --> 01:23:37.039
granddad was called Teddy and my uncle was called Edward,

1030
01:23:37.960 --> 01:23:43.479
so both of them because in this country, ted is

1031
01:23:44.720 --> 01:23:49.159
another name for Edward and Eddie is another name for Edward.

1032
01:23:49.520 --> 01:23:52.600
So my granddad was called ted and my uncle was

1033
01:23:52.640 --> 01:23:57.079
called Eddie, but they were both called Edward. And I

1034
01:23:57.279 --> 01:24:03.439
called my Teddy ted or Teddy, probably after my granddad.

1035
01:24:03.479 --> 01:24:06.720
Probably maybe I called him ted, but I wouldn't dare

1036
01:24:06.760 --> 01:24:11.680
call my granddad ted. No, it was Granddad. He didn't

1037
01:24:11.680 --> 01:24:21.119
play those games. Oh no, he would have. I there

1038
01:24:21.239 --> 01:24:26.359
was that. And the other thing is I had botherel

1039
01:24:26.439 --> 01:24:31.680
for the first time, which was a bad idea because

1040
01:24:31.720 --> 01:24:33.560
that was the last drink of the day and I

1041
01:24:33.640 --> 01:24:35.479
think that was just before I had the operation, so

1042
01:24:35.520 --> 01:24:38.439
I wasn't allowed any more water or anything, any food

1043
01:24:38.520 --> 01:24:42.079
or anything. And as botherol, which meant I mean now,

1044
01:24:42.239 --> 01:24:44.439
to me, it was just like having a mouth of mud,

1045
01:24:45.359 --> 01:24:47.279
mouthful of mud, liquid mud.

1046
01:24:48.119 --> 01:24:48.399
It was.

1047
01:24:50.479 --> 01:24:53.720
It wasn't my thing. Botherel wasn't my It's kind of

1048
01:24:53.760 --> 01:24:58.479
like liquid marmite. I would say, it's a yeast extract drink.

1049
01:25:00.279 --> 01:25:05.840
And I wasn't pleased with that. It wasn't a good decision.

1050
01:25:05.880 --> 01:25:08.680
But I remember. It's really weird because bearing in mind

1051
01:25:08.720 --> 01:25:12.920
it's such a long time ago. Now I remember the

1052
01:25:13.560 --> 01:25:17.319
because I was an award Bloody dogs again, can you

1053
01:25:17.359 --> 01:25:21.439
hear that? I wait till it stops, and I'll started

1054
01:25:21.439 --> 01:25:27.640
talking again. So I just remember this that. I don't

1055
01:25:27.680 --> 01:25:30.840
think it was anyone else in the ward. Maybe one

1056
01:25:30.880 --> 01:25:33.920
other person. There was a children's ward, I think, but

1057
01:25:34.079 --> 01:25:39.520
it was grim. It was like underground, no windows, it was.

1058
01:25:40.239 --> 01:25:42.359
It wasn't a nice ward. It was in a really

1059
01:25:42.560 --> 01:25:46.279
old hospital that I think got shut down because it

1060
01:25:46.399 --> 01:25:49.640
was it'd been there since the Civil War, I think,

1061
01:25:52.479 --> 01:26:01.760
and the one in France, and I I thought, so

1062
01:26:02.000 --> 01:26:10.039
the lady came down with this trolley full of different things, tea, coffees, cocoa,

1063
01:26:11.399 --> 01:26:20.319
bov real, water, juice probably, I don't know if there

1064
01:26:20.359 --> 01:26:23.439
be any fizzy drinks, probably not, but just that kind

1065
01:26:23.439 --> 01:26:29.680
of stuff aholics and no coffee that I don't think

1066
01:26:29.680 --> 01:26:35.319
they had coffee for kids back then. It didn't want

1067
01:26:35.319 --> 01:26:42.079
me running around or whizzing being excited, and I couldn't

1068
01:26:42.079 --> 01:26:44.239
make my mind up. This has been an issue I

1069
01:26:44.399 --> 01:26:51.199
had all through my childhood and still today struggle to

1070
01:26:51.319 --> 01:26:56.560
make my mind up about anything. Really, I mean, it

1071
01:26:56.680 --> 01:27:01.199
was an issue more for other people than me. It

1072
01:27:01.319 --> 01:27:04.359
was annoying for me. Where it was frustrating for me,

1073
01:27:05.319 --> 01:27:07.800
it was I suppose it got really annoying for other people,

1074
01:27:08.560 --> 01:27:10.880
you know, if who was in a who were ordering

1075
01:27:11.000 --> 01:27:16.319
food or you know, things like that, choosing a video

1076
01:27:16.520 --> 01:27:22.239
to watch, even up to the last time I went

1077
01:27:22.279 --> 01:27:33.239
into Blockbusters, which would have been too when the Blockbusters

1078
01:27:33.800 --> 01:27:37.760
shut down, so over ten years ago, in it twelve

1079
01:27:37.840 --> 01:27:41.319
years ago. So the last time I went into Blockbusters,

1080
01:27:42.239 --> 01:27:45.560
and every other time, and every other time that I

1081
01:27:45.600 --> 01:27:52.079
went into any video shop, I would spend an absolute

1082
01:27:53.439 --> 01:28:01.479
age trying to decide which video to get. Unless I

1083
01:28:01.560 --> 01:28:04.680
went there for a specific thing. So if I went

1084
01:28:04.720 --> 01:28:08.159
there for the new season of the Sopranos box set,

1085
01:28:09.600 --> 01:28:15.000
then it was quite simple. I'd get that. But if

1086
01:28:15.039 --> 01:28:23.079
I was if there was a particular movie, but outside

1087
01:28:23.119 --> 01:28:26.600
of that, I would be there for ages. And I

1088
01:28:26.720 --> 01:28:30.880
did the same thing as a kid. I'd spend probably hours,

1089
01:28:31.880 --> 01:28:35.039
I'm not even joking. Be I'd go and look at

1090
01:28:35.119 --> 01:28:40.680
the back cover of every single video. Now in Blockbusters,

1091
01:28:40.880 --> 01:28:43.680
that's not you don't you know things were in cases,

1092
01:28:43.720 --> 01:28:50.199
weren't they the Blockbuster cases, but in the original video shops,

1093
01:28:51.079 --> 01:28:54.279
well at least where I lived, all the videos were

1094
01:28:54.319 --> 01:28:58.800
still in the video case with you know, the picture

1095
01:28:58.840 --> 01:29:01.239
of the movie on the front, who was in the

1096
01:29:01.359 --> 01:29:06.239
movie on the back, the synopsis of the movie, plus

1097
01:29:06.279 --> 01:29:10.520
the videotape was in there, so everything was kind of there.

1098
01:29:10.560 --> 01:29:16.640
So I'd go through every video looking for something that

1099
01:29:17.439 --> 01:29:28.880
peaked my peakiness, got my juices going, made me moist,

1100
01:29:29.119 --> 01:29:32.319
I don't know whatever, I just got me excited, and

1101
01:29:35.239 --> 01:29:40.159
it would take forever. Honestly, I'd be in there for

1102
01:29:42.960 --> 01:29:46.760
an hour and a half. And none of these shops

1103
01:29:46.760 --> 01:29:50.840
were big, by the way, they were jam packed, but

1104
01:29:50.960 --> 01:29:53.199
they like, we have videos. And I only did this

1105
01:29:53.319 --> 01:29:56.319
when there's no one else around, So I wouldn't do

1106
01:29:56.439 --> 01:29:58.119
this if it was busy, if there was a lot

1107
01:29:58.159 --> 01:30:01.840
of other customers. It was you know, and they all

1108
01:30:01.880 --> 01:30:07.840
got to know me because I think one of the

1109
01:30:08.319 --> 01:30:16.039
owner of the video shop once said to me, do

1110
01:30:16.159 --> 01:30:22.239
you what did you say? It's just something like, oh,

1111
01:30:22.399 --> 01:30:24.199
by the way, just let you know you're going to

1112
01:30:24.239 --> 01:30:29.880
be getting a pay rise next month. And I said

1113
01:30:29.920 --> 01:30:33.119
what he said, oh, and he just liked he laughed,

1114
01:30:33.319 --> 01:30:36.640
So I forgot you don't work here. I was there

1115
01:30:36.680 --> 01:30:40.279
so often. He thought I worked there. It was the boss,

1116
01:30:40.479 --> 01:30:45.520
it was the owner. They had no staff, it was

1117
01:30:45.560 --> 01:30:54.159
a family run business. They lived there. I mean, once

1118
01:30:54.239 --> 01:30:57.720
I stay, he started moaning because so used to me.

1119
01:30:58.239 --> 01:31:01.279
He once he has started mona. It was moaning nuts.

1120
01:31:01.880 --> 01:31:06.359
He said, Jason, can you please stop leaving dirty dishes

1121
01:31:06.399 --> 01:31:08.439
in the sink, but can you wash up after yourself?

1122
01:31:09.920 --> 01:31:14.239
I said, I don't live with you. You're not my dad.

1123
01:31:16.479 --> 01:31:20.399
What's going on? And he just forgot. I thought I

1124
01:31:20.560 --> 01:31:23.119
was actually one of his kids because I was always

1125
01:31:23.199 --> 01:31:28.600
there looking at the videos. Now, technically that would have

1126
01:31:28.640 --> 01:31:31.439
been a really good job for me because not only

1127
01:31:32.000 --> 01:31:38.279
was I an avid video watcher, I knew where all

1128
01:31:38.319 --> 01:31:41.560
the videos were. I knew where all the titles were.

1129
01:31:42.840 --> 01:31:45.560
So if you just said to me, if you've got

1130
01:31:45.600 --> 01:31:48.800
the Big Boss Bruce Lee's movie, or if you've got

1131
01:31:52.199 --> 01:31:54.239
I don't know anything like a Disney movie, or if

1132
01:31:54.239 --> 01:31:57.680
you've got I could say yes or no because I

1133
01:31:57.760 --> 01:32:03.359
knew what was on the shelves. I was always It's

1134
01:32:03.439 --> 01:32:07.199
really weird. I just knew where everything was so cause

1135
01:32:07.199 --> 01:32:09.520
I was in there near the every day looking for

1136
01:32:09.640 --> 01:32:14.199
the next video and that's what I did, and it

1137
01:32:14.279 --> 01:32:19.199
was so cheap. It was probably about fifty pence forty

1138
01:32:19.279 --> 01:32:22.560
pence or something to rent a video out for one day,

1139
01:32:23.479 --> 01:32:26.800
and so i'd get at times. I would be in

1140
01:32:26.880 --> 01:32:33.439
there every day, especially during the holidays. Oh, such a

1141
01:32:33.560 --> 01:32:40.760
nice I liked those times. With Blockbusters. It was more

1142
01:32:41.359 --> 01:32:47.680
a weekly thing because I was working, and it'd be

1143
01:32:48.000 --> 01:32:51.640
probably like a lot of people would, I guess, to

1144
01:32:52.319 --> 01:32:57.039
go on a Friday evening or Saturday evening and just

1145
01:32:57.199 --> 01:33:00.399
rent out like maybe two or three videos for the

1146
01:33:00.479 --> 01:33:08.199
weekend and bring them back on a Monday. So yeah,

1147
01:33:08.279 --> 01:33:14.239
I lived just up the road from Yeah, I did

1148
01:33:14.319 --> 01:33:23.199
lift just up the road from the video shop. Yeah,

1149
01:33:23.600 --> 01:33:28.279
but it's actually two different places. I lived just the

1150
01:33:28.399 --> 01:33:31.279
next place was just around the corner. The other place

1151
01:33:31.520 --> 01:33:34.600
was a lot further away, but the place before that

1152
01:33:34.960 --> 01:33:42.880
was and it wasn't far, probably fifteen minute walk, so

1153
01:33:42.960 --> 01:33:49.760
it wasn't far. Really. I used to love it though.

1154
01:33:49.760 --> 01:33:56.119
It's love getting videos out. It's strange how things had

1155
01:33:56.279 --> 01:34:00.880
changed because now because of all the streaming, I mean,

1156
01:34:00.920 --> 01:34:04.680
Blockbusters closed down in this country anyway. I don't know

1157
01:34:04.720 --> 01:34:08.239
if this video shops elsewhere, but I don't think video

1158
01:34:08.319 --> 01:34:14.479
shops exist anymore, or DVD shops, but they still sell DVDs,

1159
01:34:15.000 --> 01:34:22.439
I think. But it's streaming. But the thing is, what

1160
01:34:22.520 --> 01:34:28.880
I noticed with the streaming companies, the channels, is they

1161
01:34:28.920 --> 01:34:31.640
don't keep the same stuff on there. They tend to

1162
01:34:31.720 --> 01:34:36.319
take stuff off. Even Netflix doesn't keep the same stuff

1163
01:34:36.359 --> 01:34:39.760
on there. Forever they have stuff, and then they'll take

1164
01:34:39.840 --> 01:34:42.560
it off. I don't know why I repeat myself then,

1165
01:34:43.800 --> 01:34:55.960
and that is slightly disappointing to myself, because because of

1166
01:34:56.039 --> 01:35:01.920
the wonderful thing he does. I'm thinking of what, maybe

1167
01:35:02.039 --> 01:35:07.640
reading all of the Wizard of Oz books, maybe getting

1168
01:35:07.640 --> 01:35:10.239
them all and just reading them. I mean, that would

1169
01:35:10.239 --> 01:35:12.119
be the point of reading them, isn't it. I have

1170
01:35:12.279 --> 01:35:17.920
to get them first. And I was also thinking about

1171
01:35:18.000 --> 01:35:24.119
writing a book, not a Wizard of Oz book, but

1172
01:35:24.199 --> 01:35:30.159
I did wonder sometimes the idea of creating a new world.

1173
01:35:31.760 --> 01:35:36.079
Now it's been done, of course well by lots of people,

1174
01:35:37.000 --> 01:35:45.439
but more famously, what's her name? What's a Harry Potter?

1175
01:35:46.279 --> 01:35:50.479
You've got the Wizard of Oz, you've got Narnia, you've

1176
01:35:50.520 --> 01:36:02.560
got Discworld, you've got the uh Token and whatever may be,

1177
01:36:03.000 --> 01:36:06.640
my precious that that thing, the Hobbit, or that kind

1178
01:36:06.680 --> 01:36:13.520
of world. So I do think, you know, I thought

1179
01:36:13.520 --> 01:36:18.079
about making a world up, but that's it looks like

1180
01:36:18.359 --> 01:36:24.039
it looks like a lot of effort, and remember on

1181
01:36:24.079 --> 01:36:29.439
all the different characters. I don't know, I thought. I

1182
01:36:29.560 --> 01:36:33.319
did think maybe introducing some new characters to my podcasts,

1183
01:36:36.920 --> 01:36:40.640
or perhaps having a guest, a guest come in and

1184
01:36:40.960 --> 01:36:47.279
like a you know, a different personality you come and

1185
01:36:47.399 --> 01:36:53.159
talk once a week, or maybe Vinie doing a show.

1186
01:36:55.279 --> 01:37:00.760
I don't know. When I have my appendix out. When

1187
01:37:00.760 --> 01:37:02.920
I was about twelve, that was brilliant. I loved that.

1188
01:37:03.279 --> 01:37:06.640
I loved everything about that. There was a few moments

1189
01:37:06.680 --> 01:37:11.520
when I was embarrassed. There was one particular time when

1190
01:37:14.520 --> 01:37:20.159
all I wanted to do is I don't know why

1191
01:37:20.840 --> 01:37:23.439
I didn't just go over there, but I think at

1192
01:37:23.479 --> 01:37:25.920
this point I wasn't really supposed to leave my bed

1193
01:37:26.000 --> 01:37:28.720
because it was just after the op, so they didn't

1194
01:37:28.720 --> 01:37:30.920
want to me putting pressure on the stitches and stuff.

1195
01:37:34.920 --> 01:37:38.239
But I thought I got a way around this, so

1196
01:37:38.359 --> 01:37:43.760
I put my hand up, I said miss and that

1197
01:37:43.760 --> 01:37:46.279
I actually got up and I started walking towards the

1198
01:37:46.960 --> 01:37:49.760
hallway because that's where there was a box of comics

1199
01:37:49.800 --> 01:37:51.439
and I wanted to have a look at the comics

1200
01:37:53.199 --> 01:37:55.319
to see what was in there. I think there was

1201
01:37:55.399 --> 01:37:59.079
like X Men comics and stuff like that. And the

1202
01:37:59.199 --> 01:38:03.840
nurse we're going. I said, I'm just going to go

1203
01:38:04.079 --> 01:38:06.680
to the toilet. She said, no, turn around. You know

1204
01:38:06.720 --> 01:38:09.600
you're not allowed to walk around until the stitches are

1205
01:38:10.199 --> 01:38:17.680
a bit more cemented. I said, okay, so I go

1206
01:38:17.920 --> 01:38:19.239
just to get back in bed. She said, no, no,

1207
01:38:19.399 --> 01:38:24.079
if you just if you can just stand there, and

1208
01:38:26.680 --> 01:38:34.640
she pulled out this. I actually thought they were hats,

1209
01:38:34.920 --> 01:38:41.560
but they're not hats, like a cardboard hat, and she yeah,

1210
01:38:42.399 --> 01:38:47.359
she pulled one of them out. Apparently I did. I

1211
01:38:47.439 --> 01:38:50.800
thought people laughing because they were enjoyed my dance in

1212
01:38:50.880 --> 01:38:56.119
my comedy routine, but apparently it's because that's not what

1213
01:38:56.199 --> 01:39:00.880
they were for. So she got me to she said, well,

1214
01:39:00.960 --> 01:39:03.880
now do we weies in. I don't know if she

1215
01:39:03.920 --> 01:39:06.560
said those words when I was twelve, so I don't

1216
01:39:06.600 --> 01:39:13.039
know if that was the right thing. But anyway, at

1217
01:39:13.079 --> 01:39:16.079
this point, at this junction in my life, I was

1218
01:39:17.760 --> 01:39:23.119
a teenager. I was getting onto being a teenager. I

1219
01:39:23.319 --> 01:39:27.359
was self conscious about my body. I also had a

1220
01:39:27.479 --> 01:39:31.880
huge interest in the ladies in females. At this time,

1221
01:39:32.720 --> 01:39:38.279
especially older women loved really. They had no interest in me.

1222
01:39:38.880 --> 01:39:42.199
I was interested in them. And there was a particular

1223
01:39:42.279 --> 01:39:46.039
nurse Therecord Nurse Nichols, that I was in love with.

1224
01:39:47.680 --> 01:39:50.760
I've been in love many times, especially when I was

1225
01:39:50.760 --> 01:39:59.520
a kid, constantly in love with women. And yeah, but anyway,

1226
01:40:00.560 --> 01:40:02.439
I don't think it was Nurse Nichols, but it's a

1227
01:40:02.479 --> 01:40:06.439
different nurse another. They were all nice, but she came

1228
01:40:06.600 --> 01:40:10.479
like friendly. I mean, she came over and she said,

1229
01:40:10.560 --> 01:40:12.319
just do it in here. I said, it's okay. He says, no,

1230
01:40:12.399 --> 01:40:16.479
that's why I hold it. This is the cardboard thing,

1231
01:40:16.560 --> 01:40:22.319
I mean. And it was among the most embarrassing things

1232
01:40:22.600 --> 01:40:26.359
that I've done because I didn't need to go to

1233
01:40:26.479 --> 01:40:29.760
the toilet. I didn't need a wee wee. So I'm

1234
01:40:29.800 --> 01:40:39.279
standing there with my you know, aimed and nothing happened,

1235
01:40:42.600 --> 01:40:48.439
and I was talking to her. I just wish you'd

1236
01:40:48.479 --> 01:40:50.079
look at me in the eyes. That's all I wanted.

1237
01:40:50.680 --> 01:40:52.920
Just just look up here. My face is up here.

1238
01:40:54.079 --> 01:40:59.800
And it was so embarrassing. The weird thing about it

1239
01:40:59.840 --> 01:41:02.800
is even more embarrassing really when I think about it,

1240
01:41:02.920 --> 01:41:09.359
because at the time she was an old woman, you know,

1241
01:41:09.520 --> 01:41:13.680
I was twelve. She was I mean old, as in

1242
01:41:13.800 --> 01:41:19.319
she was old, but in reality the nurses might have

1243
01:41:19.439 --> 01:41:23.840
only been like eighteen nineteen, so they were young. But

1244
01:41:23.920 --> 01:41:26.239
because I was so young, they all seemed really old.

1245
01:41:26.399 --> 01:41:30.840
They might be my twenties. So the fact is these

1246
01:41:30.920 --> 01:41:37.119
were young women, which makes it more embarrassing. But I

1247
01:41:37.239 --> 01:41:47.760
was I couldn't, I couldn't go weeries and yeah, that wasn't.

1248
01:41:47.840 --> 01:41:52.279
I didn't didn't enjoy that, which just goes to show

1249
01:41:52.279 --> 01:41:59.880
I suppose that was another another you know, learning moment

1250
01:42:00.199 --> 01:42:05.399
about not lying. I suppose, but I didn't. I didn't

1251
01:42:05.439 --> 01:42:13.439
really feel that I was lying. Technically, I suppose I was,

1252
01:42:14.640 --> 01:42:18.279
but it didn't really feel that way. I was just

1253
01:42:18.680 --> 01:42:25.119
telling FIBs because I wanted to. I wanted to read

1254
01:42:25.159 --> 01:42:33.560
a comic. But the problem is at that time I

1255
01:42:33.720 --> 01:42:37.640
was still getting the Dandy and looking and I was

1256
01:42:37.680 --> 01:42:40.039
probably a bit too old for those comics, so I said,

1257
01:42:40.079 --> 01:42:43.600
don't bring them in. But the comics they had for

1258
01:42:43.720 --> 01:42:46.039
the kids were a little bit older than what I

1259
01:42:46.079 --> 01:42:52.800
would normally look at. And I've never seen any of

1260
01:42:52.920 --> 01:42:57.039
the whole thing you've noticed is a fly again. I've

1261
01:42:57.119 --> 01:43:01.800
never seen any of these superhero comics before because My

1262
01:43:01.960 --> 01:43:06.279
brothers didn't used to get those kind of comics, although

1263
01:43:06.279 --> 01:43:09.560
I think one of them did start to. But I

1264
01:43:09.680 --> 01:43:16.319
used to get Looking and the Dandy every week. My

1265
01:43:16.680 --> 01:43:18.880
brother that was two years older than me used to

1266
01:43:19.000 --> 01:43:25.640
get The Beano and Wizard and Chips. And my oldest brother,

1267
01:43:25.760 --> 01:43:29.000
who was four years older than me, I think he

1268
01:43:29.119 --> 01:43:35.039
used to get a football magazine and a warm magazine

1269
01:43:35.640 --> 01:43:37.239
because there used to be a lot of that stuff

1270
01:43:39.079 --> 01:43:45.479
back in the late seventies early eighties. There's but yeah,

1271
01:43:46.000 --> 01:43:49.399
I think he might have had a roy of the

1272
01:43:49.600 --> 01:43:53.840
Rovers or something was a comic that he might have gotten,

1273
01:43:54.720 --> 01:43:58.239
and but of course it might have changed. I'm sure

1274
01:43:58.279 --> 01:44:03.199
one of them started getting superhero comics. So I got

1275
01:44:03.239 --> 01:44:10.600
this this memory of seeing Wolverine, and I struggled to

1276
01:44:10.760 --> 01:44:15.800
follow this story because the graphics were amazing, but I

1277
01:44:15.880 --> 01:44:21.439
couldn't always see figure out who was saying what and why,

1278
01:44:22.199 --> 01:44:24.600
And because the story is carried on from the previous

1279
01:44:24.840 --> 01:44:29.239
week or the previous comic, there seemed to be a

1280
01:44:29.359 --> 01:44:34.479
lack of consistency, or I suppose maybe too much consistency

1281
01:44:34.600 --> 01:44:41.199
depends on how you look at it. Yeah, so I

1282
01:44:41.359 --> 01:44:43.359
just wanted to look at the comics. That's all it was,

1283
01:44:45.239 --> 01:44:47.880
but other than that, it was the bestest time of

1284
01:44:48.039 --> 01:44:52.920
my childhood. Being in that hospital was brilliant. So not

1285
01:44:53.479 --> 01:44:57.520
all everyone, one of the doctors, not so much, but

1286
01:45:00.159 --> 01:45:01.039
all of the nurses.

1287
01:45:05.199 --> 01:45:06.079
You know, it was.

1288
01:45:11.159 --> 01:45:15.680
Yeah, it was okay, it was more than okay. I

1289
01:45:15.920 --> 01:45:19.359
enjoyed it. It was a nice time. It was lovely

1290
01:45:19.439 --> 01:45:22.039
to have a break from school, have a break from

1291
01:45:23.119 --> 01:45:26.680
family life. That was lovely. Just to be away from everyone.

1292
01:45:27.760 --> 01:45:33.800
It was just spectacularly wonderful. I stayed in there for

1293
01:45:35.279 --> 01:45:38.520
a long time because I loved it. I got so

1294
01:45:38.720 --> 01:45:43.920
well with the other kids, and yeah, I didn't feel

1295
01:45:45.760 --> 01:45:47.760
I mean, I just didn't feel out of my depth.

1296
01:45:47.920 --> 01:45:53.760
I didn't feel self conscious. We just had fun and

1297
01:45:54.119 --> 01:45:57.319
I probably never laughed as much as I did then

1298
01:45:58.000 --> 01:46:01.720
as the first time I'd laughed. It's almost like the

1299
01:46:01.760 --> 01:46:06.239
first time I felt free, really without restrictions of I

1300
01:46:06.279 --> 01:46:09.800
suppose adults in a way, and brothers, so I didn't

1301
01:46:09.840 --> 01:46:12.239
have any known people around and I could just be

1302
01:46:12.520 --> 01:46:18.600
myself without I don't know, there was I don't know

1303
01:46:18.760 --> 01:46:20.840
how to explain it. It was just nice. It was

1304
01:46:20.920 --> 01:46:26.039
so nice. I loved it. And I'm going to go

1305
01:46:26.079 --> 01:46:29.079
because Vinnie started barking, a few doors being slammed, and

1306
01:46:29.199 --> 01:46:33.800
music's gone up downstairs. So I realized I haven't really

1307
01:46:33.960 --> 01:46:39.239
gone in depth about talking about being boring, hospital, boring

1308
01:46:39.279 --> 01:46:47.640
objects and stuff. I attempted it. So give me two

1309
01:46:47.760 --> 01:46:49.840
out of ten. Please give me a even know if

1310
01:46:49.880 --> 01:46:53.079
it's a loanmark, give me a low mark. I don't mind.

1311
01:46:55.800 --> 01:46:59.359
So thank you for listening. Remember to be kind to yourself,

1312
01:47:00.039 --> 01:47:03.319
because you do deserve to be happy and be gentle

1313
01:47:03.359 --> 01:47:07.640
with yourself. You deserve to feel safe, lots of love.

1314
01:47:10.760 --> 01:47:11.000
Bye.

1315
01:47:20.239 --> 01:47:34.720
Relax in a more deep and meaningful way, maybe in

1316
01:47:34.840 --> 01:47:40.359
a way that can not just allow you to feel

1317
01:47:41.760 --> 01:47:50.880
calmer now and throughout the time we've spend together here,

1318
01:47:53.039 --> 01:47:58.720
not just relaxed at the end of the recording when

1319
01:47:58.760 --> 01:48:05.359
it's finished and you can enjoy that sense of comfort

1320
01:48:05.600 --> 01:48:20.479
and peace, but also I think it would be nice

1321
01:48:20.600 --> 01:48:40.359
to have those feelings of relaxation continue for longer after

1322
01:48:40.479 --> 01:48:51.039
the recording has ended, so that you can still benefit

1323
01:48:53.960 --> 01:49:01.199
from listening to my voice, maybe in a few hours time,

1324
01:49:03.119 --> 01:49:16.560
perhaps tomorrow, and then by listening regularly, especially if you

1325
01:49:16.760 --> 01:49:21.000
find like some people do and myself as well. I

1326
01:49:21.600 --> 01:49:28.319
sometimes I find one particular recording that really resonates with me,

1327
01:49:32.680 --> 01:49:35.039
and I just listen to it over and over again

1328
01:49:37.319 --> 01:49:50.319
every morning, every evening. There was this recording from We're

1329
01:49:50.359 --> 01:49:55.000
going back to about nineteen ninety nine. It was it

1330
01:49:55.119 --> 01:50:01.479
wasn't hypnosis, but it was a guided visualizations was hypnosis, really,

1331
01:50:04.000 --> 01:50:09.119
and I managed to find it again and it still

1332
01:50:09.279 --> 01:50:14.640
has the same effect on me. And part of it

1333
01:50:15.000 --> 01:50:29.720
was the person's voice relaxed me. She just felt so peaceful,

1334
01:50:31.840 --> 01:50:38.279
and I'd look forward to listening to her in the

1335
01:50:38.439 --> 01:50:49.079
morning and in the evening, and I knew before even

1336
01:50:49.880 --> 01:50:56.960
pressing the play button that as soon as I'd done that,

1337
01:50:58.039 --> 01:51:01.439
pressed the play button. This is in the days of

1338
01:51:06.560 --> 01:51:15.760
CD players, press the play button, ifact it might have

1339
01:51:15.840 --> 01:51:20.279
even been a tape recorder. I'd lie down on the

1340
01:51:20.359 --> 01:51:33.720
bed and then even without necessarily listening to her words

1341
01:51:37.079 --> 01:51:46.399
because I had them memorized. Really, it was as if

1342
01:51:46.479 --> 01:51:57.680
my body knew exactly what to do, and the muscles

1343
01:51:57.960 --> 01:52:19.279
just almost went into automatic relaxation, and I remember my

1344
01:52:19.520 --> 01:52:23.520
mind would slow down.

1345
01:52:29.199 --> 01:52:29.359
Now.

1346
01:52:31.560 --> 01:52:38.239
Now, I was listening to this recording in the early

1347
01:52:38.359 --> 01:52:46.159
days of learning hypnosis, and long before I ever made

1348
01:52:46.720 --> 01:52:54.039
any videos or audio recordings myself, because I didn't start

1349
01:52:54.119 --> 01:53:07.840
doing that till two thousand and six, I knew, I

1350
01:53:08.000 --> 01:53:21.399
knew how helpful I found being able to just let go,

1351
01:53:24.520 --> 01:53:29.840
to have that trust in the person that I'm listening to,

1352
01:53:37.560 --> 01:53:45.640
knowing that it's going to be just as relaxing, if

1353
01:53:45.720 --> 01:53:55.079
not more so. Each time you hear my voice, you

1354
01:53:55.199 --> 01:54:06.760
may feel the same. Some people have been listening to

1355
01:54:06.880 --> 01:54:20.720
me for over a decade, maybe not solidly, obviously not

1356
01:54:20.840 --> 01:54:27.119
twenty four hours a day, but maybe people come back.

1357
01:54:28.960 --> 01:54:42.600
Some people may be listen every day. That's something that

1358
01:54:42.760 --> 01:54:55.680
I do which you may not realize by listening, is

1359
01:55:00.359 --> 01:55:15.800
I record these recordings now. For example, I also am

1360
01:55:16.119 --> 01:55:26.960
affected by the words that I say. So if I

1361
01:55:29.960 --> 01:55:37.279
set you focus on your feet, notice your feet relaxing,

1362
01:55:40.800 --> 01:55:48.520
I will be focusing on my feet. I will be

1363
01:55:48.800 --> 01:56:06.880
noticing my feet relaxing. If I said, focus on your hands,

1364
01:56:09.680 --> 01:56:19.199
and maybe notice the difference between each hand, Perhaps notice

1365
01:56:19.319 --> 01:56:25.359
the air in the room, the temperature of the room.

1366
01:56:27.279 --> 01:56:37.640
On the backs of your hands. You may start to

1367
01:56:38.239 --> 01:56:46.279
notice what almost feels like a very light breeze, even

1368
01:56:46.359 --> 01:56:50.520
though there may not be any type of breeze at

1369
01:56:50.640 --> 01:57:03.560
all where you are right now. And as you become

1370
01:57:04.239 --> 01:57:18.600
aware of your hands, I'm also aware of how relaxed

1371
01:57:18.920 --> 01:57:42.680
my hands are feeling now and when it comes to

1372
01:57:44.239 --> 01:57:50.239
potentially drifting off to sleep, which may be the reason

1373
01:57:50.600 --> 01:57:58.000
you're listening. I also.

1374
01:58:00.520 --> 01:58:13.560
Feel drowsy when I make these recordings. I also notice.

1375
01:58:15.159 --> 01:58:31.239
My mind drifting. In fact, at times I've actually fallen

1376
01:58:31.319 --> 01:58:45.479
asleep without even noticing, and then I carry on talking.

1377
01:58:51.560 --> 01:58:57.119
And it's only where I listen back to do the editing.

1378
01:59:00.199 --> 01:59:07.000
H I hear snoring, and I think, I don't remember snoring.

1379
01:59:10.279 --> 01:59:16.439
I remember talking. Is it snoring away? Was a pick

1380
01:59:16.600 --> 01:59:22.920
turned up? That's why I sound like when I snare,

1381
01:59:28.279 --> 01:59:41.560
how I get really into a whole experience. I don't

1382
01:59:41.600 --> 01:59:50.760
know how you feel. How relaxed do you feel in

1383
01:59:50.840 --> 02:00:16.399
your feet, How relaxed you feel in your hands. I

1384
02:00:16.560 --> 02:00:30.760
have noticed more and more that the more relaxed, deeper

1385
02:00:35.840 --> 02:00:46.119
level of comfort you feel, the easier your breathing becomes.

1386
02:00:52.680 --> 02:01:09.359
It's almost like that additional muscle relaxation. So this allows

1387
02:01:09.439 --> 02:01:40.520
you debree easier without necessarily focusing on your breath. However,

1388
02:01:40.800 --> 02:02:01.439
being able to notice the ease in which.

1389
02:02:08.840 --> 02:02:31.439
You breathe so naturally, you breathe so very easily and smoothly.

1390
02:02:59.159 --> 02:03:16.840
Whenever I imagine my breathing improving. When I've got my

1391
02:03:17.000 --> 02:03:35.640
eyes closed, I tend to visualize a beautiful field with

1392
02:03:36.000 --> 02:04:09.840
trees and flowers producing all that life giving oxygen. It

1393
02:04:10.119 --> 02:04:26.239
feels nice to, if nothing else, just taking some time

1394
02:04:32.199 --> 02:04:58.520
away from everything, enjoying that feeling of.

1395
02:05:02.479 --> 02:05:49.279
Peace, serenity with a joyful heart. Time seems to just

1396
02:05:51.159 --> 02:05:57.039
drip by, so.

1397
02:05:58.239 --> 02:06:47.960
Very slowly, relaxed, so deeply, peaceful, completely unattached to any

1398
02:06:48.920 --> 02:07:53.279
thoughts whatsoever in this moment, completely free. Noticine that your mind.

1399
02:08:00.680 --> 02:08:40.600
Has slowed down, slowed down because nothing really requires your attention.

1400
02:08:57.119 --> 02:08:58.439
You can enjoy.

1401
02:09:02.800 --> 02:09:14.800
The physical sensations of allowing the stress to drip out

1402
02:09:14.920 --> 02:09:34.680
of your body, dripping out of every part of your

1403
02:09:34.760 --> 02:09:59.880
body and being released from your brain. Lee your mind.

1404
02:10:18.199 --> 02:11:07.600
Slowly but surely, the muscles relax, relax, res res so

1405
02:11:08.159 --> 02:11:20.399
very deeply, reacts.

1406
02:11:24.920 --> 02:11:44.119
So deeply, and the.

1407
02:11:44.479 --> 02:11:53.920
Feelings, the pleasant feelings in your arms and your shoulders,

1408
02:12:11.880 --> 02:12:25.079
deepening each part of your body further and deeper.

1409
02:12:35.439 --> 02:12:36.239
And deeper.

1410
02:12:50.880 --> 02:12:59.680
Noticine, the feelings in the back of your neck, m

1411
02:13:20.520 --> 02:13:59.880
the feelings in your wrists, muscles in front of your body.

1412
02:14:10.279 --> 02:14:54.399
I also feeding, peaceful, deeping. There's a sense of peace

1413
02:14:58.920 --> 02:15:00.479
spreads through.

1414
02:15:01.840 --> 02:15:35.000
Your very core. Even when you.

1415
02:15:37.960 --> 02:16:02.760
Focus on your mind, your mind becomes be and slower

1416
02:16:19.000 --> 02:17:38.760
and deeper, relaxing, a fairy slower his stomach, taste felling

1417
02:17:38.920 --> 02:18:08.520
your stomach, he'll back. Notice.

1418
02:18:18.799 --> 02:18:37.239
Notice how relaxed you now feel in the hall of

1419
02:18:37.399 --> 02:19:10.040
your back. In a spy from your brain all the

1420
02:19:10.159 --> 02:19:19.520
way down the middle of your back, sending and receiving.

1421
02:19:21.239 --> 02:19:38.479
Millions of messages every day, deecomfort.

1422
02:19:40.040 --> 02:20:50.840
Increasing deeply relaxed. Your knees, relax.

1423
02:20:54.120 --> 02:21:03.360
Spreading those signals down a spine or cord into air,

1424
02:21:03.680 --> 02:21:23.079
every part of your body, your sins and your calf muscles,

1425
02:21:50.280 --> 02:22:19.000
your elbows, h Feelings of peace and tranquility spreading through

1426
02:22:19.159 --> 02:22:36.479
your body, tips of your toes, to your eyes, your fingers,

1427
02:22:40.879 --> 02:22:58.399
all the way to your lower back and lettinger, retting

1428
02:22:59.639 --> 02:24:09.079
m pace, drifting mind, just wandering away, happy to let go,

1429
02:24:12.520 --> 02:25:13.799
let go completely, let her so tranquil your whole body

1430
02:25:18.159 --> 02:25:45.200
enjoying a sensor listening gir.

1431
02:25:48.840 --> 02:25:50.840
Heven more.

1432
02:26:58.959 --> 02:26:59.200
Eight.

1433
02:27:33.920 --> 02:27:45.079
Enjoy the space, this space.

1434
02:27:47.680 --> 02:27:48.719
Of peace.

1435
02:27:51.959 --> 02:30:15.000
And safety, So fary rex, letting go. Maybe we can just.

1436
02:30:17.879 --> 02:30:26.639
Focus on the different parts of your body, just to

1437
02:30:26.959 --> 02:30:55.719
notice your forehead and your eyes.

1438
02:31:28.600 --> 02:31:59.959
Actual solace, not to say in the sense of company

1439
02:32:00.200 --> 02:33:29.399
late freedom, absolute freedom, dress day, dress day, He's fall.

1440
02:33:30.879 --> 02:35:15.879
Energy paste to breathe so much easy les you may

1441
02:35:16.239 --> 02:36:05.479
have you may not have noticed your mind drifting peaceful

1442
02:36:19.559 --> 02:36:22.760
move ay, even more deeply.

1443
02:36:27.840 --> 02:36:29.120
In the direction of.

1444
02:36:34.239 --> 02:38:30.200
Total blissful pace, blissful pace to toal pace, com.

1445
02:38:35.520 --> 02:39:31.000
Sir calm, let him go peace with mind x body

1446
02:39:48.280 --> 02:39:59.479
c rex cray.

1447
02:40:24.559 --> 02:40:51.399
A body feels almost invisible, so very relaxed and peaceful.

1448
02:40:57.760 --> 02:41:06.000
So a s.

1449
02:41:22.159 --> 02:41:22.200
R.

1450
02:41:29.479 --> 02:42:04.479
The cam swip so ser fas.

1451
02:42:05.440 --> 02:42:11.680
And you could start to notice that you are feeling

1452
02:42:12.079 --> 02:42:23.280
more relaxed, even though I've not purposely focused your mind

1453
02:42:24.239 --> 02:42:31.799
upon that sense of physical comfort that is growing within

1454
02:42:31.920 --> 02:42:41.040
you throughout your body, and your mind starts to slow down,

1455
02:42:46.000 --> 02:42:53.159
and that could be almost in recognition of I guess

1456
02:42:53.600 --> 02:43:06.079
my speech not being particularly fast, and things just generally

1457
02:43:07.799 --> 02:43:18.799
feel calmer. Just by listening to my voice, you give

1458
02:43:18.879 --> 02:43:25.760
yourself an opportunity to take a break from the day,

1459
02:43:27.920 --> 02:43:35.399
take a break from your life as it is, and

1460
02:43:35.559 --> 02:43:43.280
to give yourself a rest, giving yourself permission to take

1461
02:43:43.399 --> 02:43:48.959
some time off and to allow your body to relax

1462
02:43:50.680 --> 02:43:58.559
and allow your mind to slow down, which in turn

1463
02:44:01.200 --> 02:44:06.799
releases the tension, any stresses that you had in your body.

1464
02:44:12.799 --> 02:44:16.680
It's almost as if the parts of your body just

1465
02:44:16.959 --> 02:44:28.639
open up, allowing the negativity out and at the same

1466
02:44:28.799 --> 02:44:40.079
time replacing that negativity with positive healing energy, which then

1467
02:44:40.280 --> 02:44:42.959
fills your body up and.

1468
02:44:43.079 --> 02:44:58.079
Your mind to also starts to appreciate those feelings of increasing.

1469
02:44:59.520 --> 02:45:15.959
Confidence. That's an almost uplifting feeling, positive healing, an energy

1470
02:45:16.360 --> 02:45:26.920
that spreads through your body like a wave of comfort.

1471
02:45:31.719 --> 02:45:41.959
And all this comes from just allowing yourself a few minutes,

1472
02:45:43.840 --> 02:45:46.840
maybe half an hour, however long you want it to be,

1473
02:45:48.760 --> 02:46:02.559
just rest and allow your mind and your body to

1474
02:46:02.719 --> 02:46:19.280
almost reset itself to the settings of comfort and relaxation, calmness,

1475
02:46:23.600 --> 02:46:32.920
which allows more room for feelings of pleasure and happiness

1476
02:46:36.959 --> 02:46:45.799
to move around your body and into your mind, almost

1477
02:46:46.600 --> 02:46:51.159
as if your mind and your body are sinking together,

1478
02:46:55.479 --> 02:47:05.120
almost mirroring each other with that growing positivity and calmness.

1479
02:47:10.200 --> 02:47:17.680
And it feels nice, really does feel nice to know

1480
02:47:17.959 --> 02:47:26.799
that you are the one that has allowed yourself to

1481
02:47:27.079 --> 02:47:36.159
feel more comfort and to experience.

1482
02:47:37.879 --> 02:47:39.000
More of this.

1483
02:47:40.799 --> 02:47:56.479
Deep relaxation spreading throughout your body. And as I focus.

1484
02:47:57.520 --> 02:48:03.280
On each part of your body, you can notice that

1485
02:48:03.520 --> 02:48:18.000
that part becomes even more relaxed just by focusing on it.

1486
02:48:20.559 --> 02:48:30.200
It becomes even more calm and comfortable just by focusing.

1487
02:48:34.319 --> 02:48:40.000
And as I move down your body, starting at your head,

1488
02:48:42.760 --> 02:48:48.000
the parts that you have already focused on will continue

1489
02:48:49.399 --> 02:48:56.479
to relax deeply, and those parts that have not yet

1490
02:48:56.680 --> 02:49:09.559
focused on or just automatically release any remain intention in

1491
02:49:09.719 --> 02:49:15.719
anticipation of even more comfort about to come.

1492
02:49:21.239 --> 02:49:27.200
Now, I'm going to start by focusing on your forehead.

1493
02:49:29.959 --> 02:49:39.760
Just being aware the feelings of your forehead and any background.

1494
02:49:39.520 --> 02:49:46.639
Sounds like mister Herbert's opinion, can just allow you to

1495
02:49:46.799 --> 02:49:54.040
feel even more relaxed. Just means you're in the moment.

1496
02:49:57.200 --> 02:50:00.319
This isn't this isn't a sterile environ moments.

1497
02:50:01.559 --> 02:50:02.520
This is the world.

1498
02:50:06.000 --> 02:50:12.040
I live in the countryside, so there's lots of nature

1499
02:50:12.559 --> 02:50:23.040
sounds around. So as you focus on your forehead, just

1500
02:50:23.319 --> 02:50:31.079
notice how it becomes even more relaxed as you focus

1501
02:50:33.399 --> 02:50:37.879
only on my voice and that part of your body.

1502
02:50:43.079 --> 02:50:51.360
Moving down to your eyes, focusing on your eyes, noticing

1503
02:50:53.799 --> 02:51:03.520
how your eyelids feel so heavy yet so light at

1504
02:51:03.559 --> 02:51:09.719
the same time, and all the muscles around your.

1505
02:51:09.639 --> 02:51:22.079
Eyes relaxing completely. Moving your focus down to your mouth,

1506
02:51:24.000 --> 02:51:31.559
your lips, your tongue, your teeth, your comes, the whole

1507
02:51:31.760 --> 02:51:46.799
of your mouth relaxing, calm and loose, as you focus.

1508
02:51:46.559 --> 02:51:54.719
Now on your jaw, not just a part of your jawney,

1509
02:51:54.840 --> 02:51:59.239
your mouth, and your chin, but all the way up

1510
02:52:00.040 --> 02:52:02.879
the size of your face to your.

1511
02:52:02.840 --> 02:52:07.760
Ears, the hole of your jawl.

1512
02:52:10.040 --> 02:52:17.079
Feeding more relaxed.

1513
02:52:20.399 --> 02:52:38.319
And calm. Focusing on your neck, the front of your neck,

1514
02:52:38.520 --> 02:52:51.319
and your throat relaxing and loose and calm. The sides

1515
02:52:51.639 --> 02:52:57.239
of your neck, right and left side of your neck.

1516
02:52:59.600 --> 02:53:01.319
M lax and.

1517
02:53:02.799 --> 02:53:16.440
Loose and calm. And now the back of your neck,

1518
02:53:19.760 --> 02:53:29.760
focusing on the back of your neck, letting go of

1519
02:53:29.959 --> 02:53:37.319
any tension that may have been there before, and enjoying that.

1520
02:53:39.959 --> 02:53:51.079
Sense of increasing comfort and release that you can experience

1521
02:53:52.239 --> 02:53:52.479
in the.

1522
02:53:52.559 --> 02:54:04.799
Back of your neck and down your back, and moving

1523
02:54:05.079 --> 02:54:09.399
either side of your spine right from the top of

1524
02:54:09.520 --> 02:54:15.040
your back all the way down to the bottom of

1525
02:54:15.159 --> 02:54:32.079
your back, down to your lower back. And as you

1526
02:54:32.360 --> 02:54:33.799
move up and down.

1527
02:54:35.799 --> 02:54:42.360
Your spine, you can feel the muscles either side of

1528
02:54:42.440 --> 02:54:57.040
your spine relaxing even more. And as those muscles relax

1529
02:54:59.159 --> 02:55:08.120
that sense of comfort starts to spread outwards from your spine.

1530
02:55:10.200 --> 02:55:17.280
Into both sides of your back, the top of your back,

1531
02:55:18.159 --> 02:55:24.399
the middle, and your lower back. And as you scan

1532
02:55:26.120 --> 02:55:33.920
gently and slowly up and down your back, there's the

1533
02:55:34.079 --> 02:55:39.920
muscles in the top of your back relax and become looser.

1534
02:55:44.280 --> 02:55:50.280
The muscles in the middle of your back also seem

1535
02:55:50.399 --> 02:55:59.840
to just almost divide from each other, separating and almost melting.

1536
02:56:05.639 --> 02:56:11.639
And in your lower back there seems to be an

1537
02:56:11.719 --> 02:56:25.920
extra special feeling of comfort. The spreads into your hips.

1538
02:56:28.200 --> 02:56:35.920
Sit down your lower back and into your hips, into

1539
02:56:36.000 --> 02:56:42.760
the area where your cosicks are, and into your buttocks

1540
02:56:44.959 --> 02:56:54.280
and almos muscles that spread from your lower back into

1541
02:56:54.360 --> 02:57:07.639
your hip area start to out, start to reading, let

1542
02:57:07.799 --> 02:57:19.360
go and even know where about to focus on your shoulders.

1543
02:57:21.120 --> 02:57:28.120
Your back and your spine will continue to let go,

1544
02:57:31.159 --> 02:57:34.559
continue to relax.

1545
02:57:37.440 --> 02:57:41.000
So calmly.

1546
02:57:45.680 --> 02:57:50.600
And if you focus on your shoulders, you may notice

1547
02:57:51.040 --> 02:58:22.639
they're already feeling really loose, already feeding calm, and I feel.

1548
02:58:26.680 --> 02:58:35.000
Those muscles then move from your neck into your shoulders

1549
02:58:41.559 --> 02:59:10.959
feel so soft and gentle, so smooth and calm, and

1550
02:59:11.159 --> 02:59:24.000
the feeling in your shoulders seems to spread deep into

1551
02:59:24.079 --> 02:59:34.479
your shoulders, a sense of relaxation, not just traveling deeply

1552
02:59:34.840 --> 02:59:45.840
into your muscles, but also relaxing the bones.

1553
02:59:51.200 --> 02:59:57.840
And moving all the way to underneath your arms, relaxing

1554
03:00:00.079 --> 03:00:05.239
whole area between the tops of your shoulders and underneath

1555
03:00:05.280 --> 03:00:06.159
your arms.

1556
03:00:10.239 --> 03:00:25.399
Healing. You feel so relaxed and comfortable in your shoulders,

1557
03:00:28.959 --> 03:00:30.239
which sense that.

1558
03:00:32.520 --> 03:00:34.479
Deep healing.

1559
03:00:37.520 --> 03:00:55.000
Message into your arms. You may feel almost as if

1560
03:00:55.120 --> 03:00:59.440
your arms are not even there, because.

1561
03:00:59.200 --> 03:01:35.799
There's relaxed, so deeply relaxed, so so calm, So.

1562
03:01:50.280 --> 03:02:01.360
That feels spreading all the way down your arms to elbows,

1563
03:02:05.239 --> 03:02:21.719
including your elbows circumfort spreads.

1564
03:02:25.719 --> 03:02:26.479
Your way.

1565
03:02:29.040 --> 03:02:37.000
Into wrists, your forearments and your wrists.

1566
03:02:43.200 --> 03:02:44.000
So heavy.

1567
03:02:47.680 --> 03:03:04.120
Yet at the same time, sunlight and gentle.

1568
03:03:28.200 --> 03:03:29.280
F sn.

1569
03:03:31.440 --> 03:03:32.440
Now on.

1570
03:03:35.120 --> 03:03:59.040
Your hands, hands.

1571
03:04:05.040 --> 03:04:07.920
So peaceful.

1572
03:04:08.959 --> 03:04:10.360
In your hands.

1573
03:04:28.600 --> 03:04:47.639
With a sense of real pace, just seems to.

1574
03:04:51.879 --> 03:05:30.319
Feel s familiar. On your head FS take else, I

1575
03:05:30.600 --> 03:07:10.920
thinks things you think it's SAPs meving your attention from

1576
03:07:11.360 --> 03:09:02.680
your body, so comfortable, marrying your focus till leights love muscles.

1577
03:09:04.200 --> 03:09:05.719
In your thighs.

1578
03:09:22.040 --> 03:10:00.040
And knees, so relaxed, a carve musculs and just shas.

1579
03:10:04.000 --> 03:11:53.760
Thus the leading to.

1580
03:12:03.799 --> 03:12:06.879
The fathing in your feets.

1581
03:12:13.879 --> 03:13:05.479
Sir, peaceful, circom sick peaceful, sircom so peaceful.

1582
03:13:08.399 --> 03:13:09.239
CYCLM.

1583
03:13:13.600 --> 03:13:17.280
So peace fall.

1584
03:13:25.639 --> 03:13:27.559
Re same.

1585
03:13:32.559 --> 03:13:34.360
Peace fall.

1586
03:13:37.680 --> 03:13:38.680
CCLM.

1587
03:13:46.760 --> 03:13:54.559
Love that deep relaxation to spread your chest storm.

1588
03:13:59.360 --> 03:14:08.360
La, let you go.

1589
03:14:12.520 --> 03:14:29.840
Everything. So I'm gonna start counting down now from twenty

1590
03:14:30.239 --> 03:14:37.760
down to one. You can imagine in.

1591
03:14:37.799 --> 03:14:43.399
A way it's like just walking down some steps and

1592
03:14:43.520 --> 03:14:49.000
each step or twenty steps, and each step represents a

1593
03:14:49.280 --> 03:14:57.280
level of comfort. Each step represents.

1594
03:14:59.040 --> 03:15:11.520
A deepening of that comfort, and the fervies you walk

1595
03:15:11.639 --> 03:15:17.319
down those steps, the deeper and more relaxed you feel.

1596
03:15:24.040 --> 03:17:12.639
So starting with number twenty twenty nineteen eight seventeen.

1597
03:17:58.159 --> 03:18:30.280
Sixteen, section.

1598
03:18:30.159 --> 03:18:55.680
Consists us.

1599
03:19:13.959 --> 03:19:58.040
Fire four.

1600
03:20:57.639 --> 03:28:37.600
Four us to wellh nohhhhhhhh eight siven us.

1601
03:29:00.799 --> 03:30:16.760
Six five.

1602
03:31:25.879 --> 03:34:04.440
Four hussis.

1603
03:36:03.600 --> 03:36:04.319
And now.

1604
03:36:08.719 --> 03:36:21.360
As you focus on your eyes, we're gonna count down

1605
03:36:21.760 --> 03:36:32.879
from ten dout to one, focusing just on your eyes,

1606
03:36:36.639 --> 03:36:45.159
your eyelids, the muscles around your eyes, your eye walls themselves,

1607
03:36:46.680 --> 03:36:48.239
a whole area.

1608
03:36:50.840 --> 03:37:05.000
That makes up your eye. And as we count down.

1609
03:37:05.040 --> 03:37:13.360
From ten down to one, whilst focusing on your eyes,

1610
03:37:19.719 --> 03:37:30.200
you will become twice is relaxed with each number counting

1611
03:37:30.360 --> 03:37:41.520
down that you may find the all you want to

1612
03:37:41.639 --> 03:37:50.840
do is just drift off to sleep. And if that's

1613
03:37:51.079 --> 03:38:03.920
what you want, then just allow yourself to do that. Now,

1614
03:38:06.920 --> 03:38:12.840
focus in on your eyes. I'm going to begin counting

1615
03:38:13.040 --> 03:39:31.600
down from ten down to one right now, ten nine eight.

1616
03:40:16.280 --> 03:44:51.399
Seven four.

1617
03:44:53.559 --> 03:47:46.760
Three one. So count down from ten to one ten

1618
03:47:48.719 --> 03:48:17.920
nine eight seven six five four three two one. And

1619
03:48:18.079 --> 03:48:21.440
maybe that was a bit too quick in order to relax.

1620
03:48:22.680 --> 03:48:26.920
Maybe it's a bit too fast for you to notice

1621
03:48:27.200 --> 03:48:35.239
the calming of your body, maybe even a little bit

1622
03:48:35.319 --> 03:48:39.399
of pressure. They're like, you're counting down from ten to one,

1623
03:48:39.479 --> 03:48:42.879
would you expect me to do? Man, expect me to

1624
03:48:42.959 --> 03:48:52.520
STI go with floppy just because you're counting down. You

1625
03:48:52.600 --> 03:48:55.879
could try it again, but this time I'll go a

1626
03:48:55.959 --> 03:49:03.319
bit slower this time that you focus on the whole

1627
03:49:03.440 --> 03:49:09.680
of your body before we focus on your legs. Just

1628
03:49:09.920 --> 03:49:19.879
notice how your body does start to feel more relaxed

1629
03:49:24.680 --> 03:49:38.440
with every number that I count down ten nine.

1630
03:49:43.799 --> 03:49:44.559
At eight.

1631
03:49:49.639 --> 03:51:14.360
Seven six five four three one, And just notice how

1632
03:51:16.760 --> 03:51:26.200
how you feel generally, how your body feels. It's not

1633
03:51:26.360 --> 03:51:37.399
necessarily even about counting down from ten to one. It's

1634
03:51:37.479 --> 03:51:39.399
that space that.

1635
03:51:39.520 --> 03:51:41.200
You have, that.

1636
03:51:43.799 --> 03:52:05.000
Space between being active physically or mentally, just sitting or

1637
03:52:05.120 --> 03:52:09.719
lying down and just being there, not doing anything, not

1638
03:52:10.040 --> 03:52:14.440
saying anything or needing to think about anything.

1639
03:52:16.280 --> 03:52:19.920
So it opens up a space, you know, a bit

1640
03:52:20.000 --> 03:52:30.760
of a space, a gap. And the more I came

1641
03:52:30.879 --> 03:52:35.440
down from ten to one, the bigger that gap becomes.

1642
03:52:38.479 --> 03:52:50.959
So there's that gap of calmness, of comfort, relaxation. It's

1643
03:52:51.000 --> 03:53:04.639
a nice feeling, and it moves those stresses or discomforts

1644
03:53:04.719 --> 03:53:07.879
physically or emotionally, moves them.

1645
03:53:09.399 --> 03:53:17.520
Away. Allows you.

1646
03:53:20.239 --> 03:53:20.760
To just.

1647
03:53:23.760 --> 03:53:30.159
Slow down, someone to count again from ten down to

1648
03:53:30.280 --> 03:53:40.360
one and notice that gap widening, the gap, And as

1649
03:53:40.399 --> 03:53:45.200
it widens, it's almost like that the stress and attention

1650
03:53:46.079 --> 03:54:05.639
falls into the gap. Give you that distance, that space.

1651
03:54:07.559 --> 03:54:12.920
Now ten.

1652
03:54:17.360 --> 03:54:57.399
Nine, eight, seven, six, five.

1653
03:55:08.159 --> 03:55:08.639
Four.

1654
03:55:26.799 --> 03:56:17.959
Three one. Now, how did your body feel?

1655
03:56:20.200 --> 03:56:20.360
Now?

1656
03:56:33.079 --> 03:56:49.360
Can you notice that the feeling calmer, the feeling more relaxed.

1657
03:57:11.840 --> 03:57:16.200
As we now focus on your legs, just your legs.

1658
03:57:32.200 --> 03:57:52.319
We're just gonna start with focusing on your thighs. Of course,

1659
03:57:52.440 --> 03:57:57.360
it's not the most exciting thing to be done, because

1660
03:58:00.760 --> 03:58:03.440
I'm sure, like most of your body is not a

1661
03:58:03.559 --> 03:58:15.959
lot going on right now. Just focusing on the whole

1662
03:58:16.079 --> 03:58:22.440
of your thighs, the tops of your thighs, the sides

1663
03:58:22.639 --> 03:58:29.040
of your thighs, the bottoms of your thighs, your outer

1664
03:58:29.239 --> 03:58:34.319
thighs and your inner thighs, basically the whole of your

1665
03:58:34.399 --> 03:58:43.280
thigh that leads into your hip and it goes down

1666
03:58:43.479 --> 03:58:53.120
to your knee joints. Now, this is a big area.

1667
03:58:57.600 --> 03:59:02.559
It's a very heavy area. It's very strong, probably the

1668
03:59:02.680 --> 03:59:17.360
strongest muscles in your body or in your thighs. But

1669
03:59:17.399 --> 03:59:25.840
I don't think we perhaps give enough attention to our thighs.

1670
03:59:31.760 --> 03:59:33.159
Perhaps we don't.

1671
03:59:34.520 --> 03:59:55.000
Acknowledge how important our thighs are to our lives, how

1672
03:59:55.120 --> 04:00:04.280
much they actually do for us all through our lives.

1673
04:00:11.399 --> 04:00:17.280
And it may seem sound really weird, but I think

1674
04:00:17.360 --> 04:00:24.360
that all of our body parts, especially our thighs, needs

1675
04:00:24.440 --> 04:00:38.920
some TLC, a bit of love shown, a bit of acknowledgement,

1676
04:00:41.639 --> 04:00:57.319
thank you, gratitude for our thighs do for us. And

1677
04:00:57.440 --> 04:01:03.319
I know this may sound a bit strange. Maybe you think,

1678
04:01:03.719 --> 04:01:06.639
why am I? Surely I should be out in the

1679
04:01:06.760 --> 04:01:15.280
garden hugging a tree or something. Well, it's hard to

1680
04:01:15.319 --> 04:01:18.559
set a microphone up on a tree. That's why I'm

1681
04:01:18.600 --> 04:01:21.440
doing this indoors. Otherwise I would be outside huging a tree.

1682
04:01:22.840 --> 04:01:31.479
I can't see the television from the tree. If you

1683
04:01:31.600 --> 04:01:36.799
move down to your knees, gain such an important part,

1684
04:01:41.079 --> 04:01:46.239
and I think we don't necessarily I'll speak for myself, Yeah,

1685
04:01:48.680 --> 04:01:53.799
I don't necessarily appreciate all that my knees do for

1686
04:01:53.920 --> 04:02:00.200
me until I have a problem with my knee, as

1687
04:02:00.479 --> 04:02:05.440
if I ever maybe i'll bash it or it's aching

1688
04:02:05.600 --> 04:02:11.959
for some reason. It's then that I realize how much

1689
04:02:12.120 --> 04:02:15.719
it does. You know, the benefit of being able to

1690
04:02:16.680 --> 04:02:25.920
use my legs without any kind of physical discomfort is

1691
04:02:26.719 --> 04:02:35.440
a beautiful thing that's possibly not appreciated until it's temporarily removed.

1692
04:02:36.600 --> 04:02:43.600
You know that's comfort. But as you focus on your knees,

1693
04:02:45.760 --> 04:02:51.399
regardless of how your knees feel, you can have that

1694
04:02:51.680 --> 04:02:57.840
sense of gratitude and love to your needs for all

1695
04:02:57.959 --> 04:03:10.159
that they do for you, and you can still have

1696
04:03:10.319 --> 04:03:15.440
that attention on your thighs. Maybe notice how your thighs feel.

1697
04:03:17.600 --> 04:03:35.559
Maybe you've notice that they are relaxing more deeply as

1698
04:03:35.600 --> 04:03:40.479
you focus now on the bottoms of your legs, your

1699
04:03:40.559 --> 04:03:47.440
shins and your calf muscles. The bones between your knees

1700
04:03:48.319 --> 04:03:56.040
and your feet incorporate, and of course, your ankles so important.

1701
04:04:01.559 --> 04:04:06.159
You know, anyone that's had even like the slightest sprain

1702
04:04:06.319 --> 04:04:13.239
of an ankle knows how how much. We take our

1703
04:04:13.479 --> 04:04:22.040
ankles for granted, and it's kind of strange in a

1704
04:04:22.079 --> 04:04:27.680
way when you think that. You know, logically, our wrists

1705
04:04:27.840 --> 04:04:30.680
are a lot thinner than the rest of our arms,

1706
04:04:31.799 --> 04:04:35.319
which is okay, it doesn't I can't see any problem

1707
04:04:35.319 --> 04:04:40.879
with that because we're just picking stuff up. Our ankles

1708
04:04:42.680 --> 04:04:52.600
so much thinner than the rest of our legs, and

1709
04:04:52.760 --> 04:04:57.239
from a physics perspective or logical even it doesn't really

1710
04:04:57.360 --> 04:05:04.600
make sense that all this weight would ultimately be resting

1711
04:05:05.600 --> 04:05:15.600
on your ankles then leading to your feet, that thin area,

1712
04:05:17.079 --> 04:05:26.680
thin bone. Yeah, it does so much great work. Supports us,

1713
04:05:26.799 --> 04:05:39.719
supports our body for a lifetime, helps us to balance, helps.

1714
04:05:39.479 --> 04:05:39.799
You to.

1715
04:05:43.760 --> 04:05:53.000
Get around and be mobile. And there's the calf muscles.

1716
04:05:53.040 --> 04:06:00.680
Of course, when I was younger, I couldn't see the

1717
04:06:00.719 --> 04:06:05.799
point in calf muscles. Didn't seem to do anything. Okay,

1718
04:06:06.920 --> 04:06:10.440
if I walked around on tiptoes, then my calf muscles

1719
04:06:10.520 --> 04:06:14.040
get some work. But of course that's not true. The

1720
04:06:14.159 --> 04:06:18.559
calf muscles are being used whenever we use our legs,

1721
04:06:24.159 --> 04:06:36.760
and your shins there to protect your lower legs, shaped

1722
04:06:36.799 --> 04:06:41.520
in a way almost as a protector for the bone,

1723
04:06:49.120 --> 04:07:01.000
leading of course to your ankles and your feet. But

1724
04:07:01.120 --> 04:07:03.000
we're not going to focus on your feet. We're just

1725
04:07:03.079 --> 04:07:09.520
going to focus on the legs. I realize, and now

1726
04:07:09.600 --> 04:07:14.159
that I've mentioned your feet, you'll probably focus on them anyway,

1727
04:07:14.719 --> 04:07:17.280
So maybe I should focus on your feet a little bit.

1728
04:07:21.319 --> 04:07:25.760
You can have them in your awareness the same as

1729
04:07:25.840 --> 04:07:30.159
you have your thighs in your awareness. Even though we

1730
04:07:30.319 --> 04:07:34.280
haven't been focusing on your thighs for a few minutes

1731
04:07:36.000 --> 04:07:46.840
and we focusing on your ankles, there's still that sensation

1732
04:07:47.120 --> 04:08:03.159
of comfort in your thighs in that movement of energy,

1733
04:08:05.239 --> 04:08:12.239
because the thighs hold lots of different sensations. Of course,

1734
04:08:12.319 --> 04:08:17.079
there's the muscles, the big straw muscles that we have

1735
04:08:17.280 --> 04:08:30.639
in our thighs, but the skin on the outside of

1736
04:08:30.719 --> 04:08:36.000
the thighs, as in the outside of all of our body,

1737
04:08:36.799 --> 04:08:48.399
can be very sensitive, sensitive to the touch, sensitive to temperature,

1738
04:08:54.959 --> 04:09:02.479
and inside your thighs the bones, there's the muscle, there's

1739
04:09:02.520 --> 04:09:07.319
the blood, vessels, the ar trees to all this stuff

1740
04:09:07.879 --> 04:09:16.680
inside your thighs. I guess sometimes it'd be nice if

1741
04:09:16.719 --> 04:09:21.520
you could actually put your fingers inside your thighs and

1742
04:09:21.639 --> 04:09:27.440
a message, so you can message on the outside, of course,

1743
04:09:28.239 --> 04:09:30.559
but to be able to get deep into the muscles,

1744
04:09:31.600 --> 04:09:36.719
to be able to just message inside your thighs, message

1745
04:09:36.760 --> 04:09:45.479
in the bones of your leg massage in all the veins,

1746
04:09:45.959 --> 04:09:56.360
just gently heaving your thighs, and you could move down

1747
04:09:58.440 --> 04:10:03.479
message and inside your just a message in those bones,

1748
04:10:04.479 --> 04:10:11.520
but with healing fingertips, spreading that healing energy deep into

1749
04:10:11.639 --> 04:10:21.280
the choice your knees. Of course, there's the back of

1750
04:10:21.479 --> 04:10:26.399
your your need, you know, the inside crease where your

1751
04:10:26.559 --> 04:10:34.280
need is. It's a very sensitive area. It feels very

1752
04:10:34.399 --> 04:10:39.159
nice when you stroke it. That might be because it's

1753
04:10:39.200 --> 04:10:44.479
an area that's not really touched very often. It's almost

1754
04:10:44.600 --> 04:10:51.719
like a hidden part, that crease in your legs. It's almost.

1755
04:10:53.680 --> 04:10:54.440
Like a part that.

1756
04:10:56.200 --> 04:11:07.479
Has a sensitivity which is a little bit different. Of course,

1757
04:11:07.520 --> 04:11:18.000
it's protected by your legs. So you can imagine putting

1758
04:11:18.879 --> 04:11:29.200
your fingers into that crease in your legs, folding between

1759
04:11:29.319 --> 04:11:34.399
your legs. You can just message with your fingertips. Imagine

1760
04:11:34.399 --> 04:11:40.760
your fingertips going inside, message in the muscle or tissue

1761
04:11:45.360 --> 04:11:51.559
you can cause field the bones of your knees, heading

1762
04:11:51.799 --> 04:12:04.479
through your fingertips, and then as you go down to

1763
04:12:04.559 --> 04:12:07.399
your calf muscles. And that's a part i'd like to

1764
04:12:07.440 --> 04:12:12.840
be able to really put my fingertips steep inside my

1765
04:12:13.040 --> 04:12:21.760
calf muscles, massage in every single tissue of that muscle,

1766
04:12:23.319 --> 04:12:33.239
healing every part, and then doing the same for my shins,

1767
04:12:36.440 --> 04:12:44.639
massage in generally stroking the bones, generally stroking them, healing

1768
04:12:44.879 --> 04:12:48.959
in a loving way, because they deserve to be treated.

1769
04:12:52.000 --> 04:12:56.159
There's the precious bones that they are. Because our legs

1770
04:12:56.200 --> 04:12:59.520
are so precious as in all the other parts of

1771
04:12:59.600 --> 04:13:07.799
our body, the more precious of any tube on the planet.

1772
04:13:16.200 --> 04:13:24.360
When you start to think about your legs in this way,

1773
04:13:28.920 --> 04:13:35.600
it can change your perspective. It might sound a bit

1774
04:13:38.639 --> 04:13:42.959
a bit silly to start with the idea of having

1775
04:13:43.840 --> 04:13:53.840
love for your legs, showing appreciation for your thighs, wanting

1776
04:13:54.000 --> 04:13:57.879
to be able to put your hands in your thighs,

1777
04:14:00.159 --> 04:14:06.479
message the muscles and the bones, and to get your

1778
04:14:06.600 --> 04:14:15.120
fingers deep in there, releasing all tension, just to show

1779
04:14:17.000 --> 04:14:24.360
how much you care about your legs, how much you

1780
04:14:24.479 --> 04:14:27.319
care for what your legs do.

1781
04:14:27.639 --> 04:14:27.879
For you.

1782
04:14:29.520 --> 04:14:41.639
Regularly, your knees, your calves, your ankles, the strength of

1783
04:14:41.719 --> 04:14:49.799
your ankles, considering how thin they are compared to the

1784
04:14:49.879 --> 04:14:57.559
rest of your legs, especially your thighs. Yeah, they're so strong,

1785
04:14:59.120 --> 04:15:13.559
so flexible, absolutely amazing things. Your ankles are truly a

1786
04:15:13.719 --> 04:15:24.520
gift because of what they do for you, supporting all

1787
04:15:24.760 --> 04:15:31.639
that weight, regardless of how what weight you are, even

1788
04:15:31.680 --> 04:15:36.280
if you only ate stoning, there's still a lot of

1789
04:15:36.440 --> 04:15:43.479
weight for these little ankles. How are a lot heavier

1790
04:15:43.520 --> 04:15:53.639
than Maystone double dock. Yet my ankles support my body

1791
04:15:54.399 --> 04:16:01.000
all the time. Whether they do give off a sigh

1792
04:16:01.040 --> 04:16:06.760
of relief when I sit down, that's my whole legs

1793
04:16:06.840 --> 04:16:16.000
though my feet, feet or so go. My toes clap

1794
04:16:17.399 --> 04:16:45.879
so happy. Your legs really are amazing. And I know

1795
04:16:46.319 --> 04:16:52.719
that talking about talking about your legs is probably possibly

1796
04:16:52.959 --> 04:16:57.680
among the most most boring things I've ever heard anyone say.

1797
04:16:58.559 --> 04:17:06.040
Possibly you're boring or not. Everything I said is true.

1798
04:17:08.479 --> 04:17:23.360
Your legs are amazing. Your legs deserve not just respect,

1799
04:17:29.200 --> 04:17:30.959
They deserve to relax.

1800
04:17:32.319 --> 04:17:32.719
Deeply.

1801
04:17:40.000 --> 04:17:43.319
They deserve to take some time out of the day

1802
04:17:45.559 --> 04:18:14.280
to just let go completely. Your legs really can relax

1803
04:18:22.079 --> 04:18:26.040
because the legs are so such a most you know,

1804
04:18:26.280 --> 04:18:32.200
very important part of your body. When you relax your legs,

1805
04:18:32.319 --> 04:18:39.520
the rest of your body also naturally follows in that

1806
04:18:43.280 --> 04:18:54.079
journey of comfort, like I feel it in my hips,

1807
04:18:55.479 --> 04:19:02.600
my hips feel really loose, and also my ler back

1808
04:19:02.680 --> 04:19:09.280
as well. My lower back really feels it feels stretched,

1809
04:19:10.399 --> 04:19:13.440
even though I'm just sitting in a chair and there's

1810
04:19:13.559 --> 04:19:18.799
no stretching as far as I'm aware that I'm doing.

1811
04:19:19.799 --> 04:19:22.479
It's almost as if the muscles are just relaxed so

1812
04:19:22.719 --> 04:19:28.600
much that there is a natural stretch as the tension

1813
04:19:29.520 --> 04:19:50.760
has reduced a lot. And I'm now going to count

1814
04:19:50.840 --> 04:19:58.719
down from ten down to one, and you can continue

1815
04:20:00.559 --> 04:20:27.079
to fill wonderfully relaxed ten nine eight seven, six, five.

1816
04:20:31.479 --> 04:20:44.319
Four three two one.

1817
04:20:50.399 --> 04:21:03.159
Relax. So I'm just gonna count five down to one,

1818
04:21:03.920 --> 04:21:08.479
and as a countdown, if you just focus on the numbers,

1819
04:21:10.159 --> 04:21:18.239
just the numbers counting down, and notice how you feel

1820
04:21:20.840 --> 04:21:25.440
in this moment as you hear the numbers counting down,

1821
04:21:26.479 --> 04:21:39.040
knowing that those numbers counting down represent you feeling calmer,

1822
04:21:40.360 --> 04:21:45.760
not just in your body, but also relaxing your mind.

1823
04:21:48.840 --> 04:21:50.159
Just notice how you feel.

1824
04:21:51.040 --> 04:21:56.959
There's nothing to do, there's nothing to say, there's nothing

1825
04:21:57.079 --> 04:22:40.120
to think about. Starting with number five, four three two one,

1826
04:22:49.600 --> 04:23:02.000
How did you notice the gradual letting go the tension

1827
04:23:02.239 --> 04:23:09.360
in your body. You may also begin to notice and

1828
04:23:09.520 --> 04:23:18.520
be aware of how your mind is starting to slow down.

1829
04:23:21.040 --> 04:23:27.360
This is just a natural thing that happens. It's not

1830
04:23:27.600 --> 04:23:32.760
really a special procedure. It's just natural because as your

1831
04:23:34.079 --> 04:23:40.079
body relaxes, your mind also starts to relax, and the

1832
04:23:40.159 --> 04:23:43.799
more your mind relaxes, the more your body relaxes. It's

1833
04:23:43.959 --> 04:23:56.040
just a continuous circle of relaxation. And there's that calmness

1834
04:23:56.280 --> 04:24:03.280
that comes from relative at this. You know, even even

1835
04:24:03.319 --> 04:24:10.280
if there's background sounds, even your side online is still

1836
04:24:10.799 --> 04:24:16.040
going to be quite calm. You know, you haven't got

1837
04:24:16.120 --> 04:24:21.280
the television on, there's no music in the background unless

1838
04:24:21.280 --> 04:24:28.719
you're listening to the recorded with music. Of course, you're

1839
04:24:28.879 --> 04:24:31.000
very likely not going to be sitting in a room

1840
04:24:31.079 --> 04:24:35.639
with other people. Of course you might be, but generally

1841
04:24:35.799 --> 04:24:38.920
it's more ideal if you can do this on your own,

1842
04:24:40.639 --> 04:24:50.680
so no distractions, and when you stop thinking about stuff,

1843
04:24:57.280 --> 04:25:07.559
relaxation automatically rises. A sense of comfort starts to grow,

1844
04:25:12.079 --> 04:25:18.719
and without trying to build it up into something fantastical

1845
04:25:19.159 --> 04:25:30.879
or something magical, this is just a natural process, something

1846
04:25:31.040 --> 04:25:42.040
that's easy to accomplish. In fact, it's almost the sense

1847
04:25:42.120 --> 04:25:48.920
of relaxing completely happens really when you put no effort

1848
04:25:49.280 --> 04:25:53.159
into it. It's not something that you can really force.

1849
04:25:55.799 --> 04:26:05.159
It's something that happens naturally, and part of the process

1850
04:26:05.559 --> 04:26:16.760
of this recording and others is simply two allow you

1851
04:26:19.159 --> 04:26:30.000
to take advantage of this space this time, to just

1852
04:26:34.200 --> 04:26:41.760
let go, to just be here, to be in tune

1853
04:26:45.479 --> 04:26:57.559
with how you feel, yet with the intention of wanting

1854
04:26:57.840 --> 04:27:09.920
to relax deeply and maybe even to fall asleep, depending

1855
04:27:10.159 --> 04:27:16.399
on what it is that you wish for yourself in

1856
04:27:16.520 --> 04:27:32.680
this moment. As we know, relaxing is the majority of

1857
04:27:32.799 --> 04:27:37.360
the process of falling asleep. The actual falling asleep part

1858
04:27:37.639 --> 04:27:45.840
is the tiny bit at the end. The deeper relaxed

1859
04:27:46.200 --> 04:28:07.719
you become, the easier you find yourself drifting. But you

1860
04:28:07.799 --> 04:28:14.799
can also if you choose stay focused on my voice

1861
04:28:16.399 --> 04:28:48.040
and really enjoy the process, gradually relaxing each muscle in

1862
04:28:48.200 --> 04:29:15.479
your body effortlessly and just observing the sensation of letting

1863
04:29:15.680 --> 04:29:31.280
go completely. This time, I'm going to count from six

1864
04:29:32.319 --> 04:29:44.319
down to one, and you can notice your mind calming

1865
04:29:44.639 --> 04:29:52.040
down more with each number that you hear me say,

1866
04:29:56.760 --> 04:30:40.360
naturally feeling come peaceful, six, five.

1867
04:31:00.200 --> 04:33:02.520
Four, three, four, being aware of.

1868
04:33:05.360 --> 04:33:21.400
How your mind has slowed right down, sinking deeply into relaxation,

1869
04:33:35.159 --> 04:33:41.919
and as you focus on your mind, you may notice

1870
04:33:42.159 --> 04:33:51.319
that there are some thoughts still there, maybe some stubborn

1871
04:33:51.479 --> 04:33:59.880
thoughts that for some reason perhaps need your at.

1872
04:34:07.119 --> 04:34:08.479
That's what you can do is.

1873
04:34:14.040 --> 04:34:26.560
Send love to those thoughts. Sprinkle those thoughts with love

1874
04:34:28.279 --> 04:34:32.479
my door petals from a flower. Just sprinkle over them,

1875
04:34:33.959 --> 04:34:41.119
petals feel good love towards those thoughts. To let those

1876
04:34:41.319 --> 04:34:48.759
thoughts over. You're not abandon the number, you just need them.

1877
04:34:50.000 --> 04:35:01.040
You require them to just calm down, slow down, quiet

1878
04:35:01.439 --> 04:35:17.400
down for now, so as you focus on those remaining thoughts.

1879
04:35:18.639 --> 04:35:22.720
As a countdown this time from seven down to one.

1880
04:35:24.279 --> 04:35:41.400
With each number, just imagine sprinkling those flower petals of love, kindness, gratitude.

1881
04:35:43.919 --> 04:35:53.319
Over those thoughts, which will allow them to just not

1882
04:35:53.520 --> 04:36:15.040
away relax deeply. Every number, my thoughts will become relaxed,

1883
04:36:20.639 --> 04:38:35.400
starting if number seven, six, five, four, Yeah.

1884
04:38:56.919 --> 04:39:19.759
Notice axed your feeling in your body. We got to focus.

1885
04:39:23.159 --> 04:39:32.840
On your hands, because the more relaxed your hands are,

1886
04:39:35.200 --> 04:39:35.759
the more.

1887
04:39:35.639 --> 04:39:57.560
Relaxed your body and mind this you focus on your

1888
04:39:57.720 --> 04:40:07.959
hands and you think it's nothing needed to be done.

1889
04:40:08.919 --> 04:40:14.040
There's no clinching the fists or dance and the fingers

1890
04:40:14.159 --> 04:40:25.479
or anything like that. It's just not to s fuck

1891
04:40:27.639 --> 04:40:55.400
on your hands, not to searly feel because the but

1892
04:40:55.759 --> 04:41:03.840
asks to your hands feel a card. Your mind feels

1893
04:41:06.599 --> 04:41:14.639
more comfort feel throughout your body.

1894
04:41:20.599 --> 04:41:23.720
Jee may.

1895
04:41:26.000 --> 04:42:09.080
Have already latice. Your mind is starting to dress said,

1896
04:42:13.159 --> 04:42:22.520
just on your hands and fingers, allowing.

1897
04:42:22.520 --> 04:42:36.159
Them cheap experience, a real deepening of that relaxation.

1898
04:42:36.840 --> 04:42:50.159
In your hands and fingers and more relaxed.

1899
04:42:54.680 --> 04:43:04.639
With each number, who eight.

1900
04:43:06.880 --> 04:43:22.479
Down to one, alest few and healing relaxing energy. Spread

1901
04:43:22.560 --> 04:43:44.720
it into my hands and fingers, becoming relaxing with each number.

1902
04:43:46.759 --> 04:44:01.919
You hear, cutting down eights down to one, tift down

1903
04:44:11.439 --> 04:45:03.319
Scotch to the police, seven.

1904
04:46:52.119 --> 04:48:13.479
Three, Just being here.

1905
04:48:13.959 --> 04:48:23.959
Now nothing to think about, nothing to do, nothing to say,

1906
04:48:28.119 --> 04:48:31.959
and everything just feels calm.

1907
04:48:36.919 --> 04:48:44.680
This is your natural state of being. This is how

1908
04:48:44.799 --> 04:48:46.720
you just normally.

1909
04:48:46.840 --> 04:48:47.439
If you'll.

1910
04:48:49.040 --> 04:48:53.520
Take away and unstop.

1911
04:48:55.680 --> 04:49:14.959
Add that stress and work a thick anxiety ship thinking

1912
04:49:15.040 --> 04:49:20.560
about So take that away just.

1913
04:49:22.599 --> 04:49:22.799
Now.

1914
04:49:29.240 --> 04:49:40.520
You left me of your sense of insults, which cost

1915
04:49:41.040 --> 04:49:50.159
very quickly because ansompleat. It's just a feeling.

1916
04:49:54.319 --> 04:49:56.799
A feeling of confidence.

1917
04:50:00.919 --> 04:50:06.040
Most if you've got inside yourself found in special place

1918
04:50:07.400 --> 04:50:21.639
where everything is peaceful, place sweep in the film relaxed

1919
04:50:22.439 --> 04:50:38.919
your act six confident place except yourself.

1920
04:50:40.520 --> 04:50:40.959
You are.

1921
04:50:43.560 --> 04:51:01.080
Place sweet release in the US. Place seek actually not

1922
04:51:01.439 --> 04:51:06.919
just love yourself in some ways more importantly, you can

1923
04:51:07.319 --> 04:51:39.319
like yourself appreciate a sense of gratitude some place where.

1924
04:51:41.680 --> 04:51:42.360
An energy.

1925
04:51:43.080 --> 04:51:48.840
Feel that heathing energy soaking.

1926
04:51:48.720 --> 04:52:06.560
Into your body. Heaving energy soaking into your body, A

1927
04:52:06.799 --> 04:52:17.680
healing energy spreads through your face, travel it each every

1928
04:52:17.959 --> 04:52:21.400
single part of your body.

1929
04:52:27.560 --> 04:52:30.799
You start to realize that actually a.

1930
04:52:31.080 --> 04:52:40.319
Healing energy just entered into your brain. It's become a

1931
04:52:40.520 --> 04:52:42.479
part of your brain.

1932
04:52:47.599 --> 04:52:49.520
The spiral fluid.

1933
04:52:51.959 --> 04:52:54.319
Now looks to me the energy.

1934
04:52:59.720 --> 04:53:08.799
Just allowing you to feel so much more relaxed and healthy.

1935
04:53:09.919 --> 04:53:21.360
In this moment. But also you start to realize, and actually,

1936
04:53:23.880 --> 04:53:33.520
what's happening now that here relaxing energy spreading through your body.

1937
04:53:35.439 --> 04:53:46.240
It's actually changing your life. It's actually changing the way

1938
04:53:46.400 --> 04:53:49.279
you're going to feel God just now.

1939
04:53:50.919 --> 04:53:53.759
And tomorrow the next day.

1940
04:53:55.840 --> 04:54:03.159
Is your health improves, not just your physical health, for

1941
04:54:03.279 --> 04:54:10.720
your mental health. Things that used to bother you in

1942
04:54:10.840 --> 04:54:18.400
the past, for some reason, no longer have the effect

1943
04:54:18.959 --> 04:54:33.240
the East because something has changed deep within you. Maybe

1944
04:54:33.479 --> 04:54:43.159
things the East to cause you to feel anger, a

1945
04:54:43.479 --> 04:54:46.840
long heaven that power.

1946
04:54:49.560 --> 04:54:50.479
To control you.

1947
04:54:52.959 --> 04:54:59.360
The way they seem to be able to before you

1948
04:55:00.759 --> 04:55:15.720
realize the evil one he decides what affects you, one

1949
04:55:16.400 --> 04:55:27.119
who decides to feel the last and calm when he choose.

1950
04:55:30.400 --> 04:55:31.520
To enjoy.

1951
04:55:32.639 --> 04:55:41.279
Noticing these natural developments, the healing.

1952
04:55:43.880 --> 04:55:45.560
Team to grow.

1953
04:55:48.080 --> 04:55:59.680
And improve your life day by days. Of course, who

1954
04:56:00.240 --> 04:56:17.520
tea to lact so much easier? Sleeping it's the most

1955
04:56:17.799 --> 04:56:28.919
natural thing in the world to its falling. Sleep is

1956
04:56:29.119 --> 04:56:37.279
something that you've done so many times in your life,

1957
04:56:40.759 --> 04:56:49.520
you know, as all were with the ability to sleep.

1958
04:56:49.599 --> 04:56:59.319
Eventually even that ability.

1959
04:57:02.119 --> 04:57:03.319
Just dream.

1960
04:57:04.959 --> 04:57:10.000
Of too deep keep sleep.

1961
04:57:15.520 --> 04:57:20.840
If even the kids sometimes will fall asleep or don't

1962
04:57:20.840 --> 04:57:28.959
want to day, stay awake. It iss birthday morning, it's

1963
04:57:29.439 --> 04:57:31.759
Christmas or holiday and.

1964
04:57:31.880 --> 04:57:39.279
Something that could taught to sleep more, stay.

1965
04:57:41.520 --> 04:57:44.040
There, to start to drink.

1966
04:57:48.360 --> 04:57:48.560
More.

1967
04:57:49.319 --> 04:58:00.000
If finds drift joys deep strong drifting, because.

1968
04:58:08.319 --> 04:58:15.599
Not just with the need to step. It's true fo sleep,

1969
04:58:18.919 --> 04:58:20.240
it's not the facts.

1970
04:58:32.400 --> 04:58:33.759
Sometime things.

1971
04:58:36.439 --> 04:59:01.240
Have set things that's steps s