June 25, 2025

(music) (5 hours) And he was Yellow | LMBYTS #1381 | Jason Newland | 24th June 2025

(music) (5 hours) And he was Yellow | LMBYTS #1381 | Jason Newland | 24th June 2025
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Hello, and welcome to Jasonnewland dot com. My name is

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Jason Newland. I hope you are well. Hi, so oh,

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I got no idea what today's and it's Tuesday. I

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don't know what the day is. Is it a twenty

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second or something like that of June twenty twenty five,

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I'm not really sure. Please only listen when you can

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safely close your eyes. This is let me bore you

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to sleep. My name is Jason Newland. Oh God, itchy lake,

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I think I might have been bitten by a gnat. Okay,

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it's please, Okay, who I've been? It's probably been the

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busiest five days I've had for a very very very

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long time, as far as I suppose you could call

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it outside activities. You know, I'm busy sometimes making recordings,

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but not this week. I haven't been, so I'm gonna

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I'm gonna tell you about it. First of all, my

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website is back, so apologies to anyone that were annoyed

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for the website going, but it's now back as it was.

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I'm just gonna have to do a little feudal checks

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to make sure as exactly how it was, but it

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is back online. Jesson nuland dot com and the yeah,

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that's done. I haven't made a recording according to my

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web I don't know. I'm losing track. To be fair,

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I didn't let me boy a Q and A Friday

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on Friday, and I think I did a deep sleep

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whisper recording afterwards later on in the day, I think,

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and then no, I don't think i'd have done this Saturday.

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So basically, here's what's happened. I'm going to talk about

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a medical situation, but I'm not going to go into

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information about the medical condition. Okay, so this is going

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to involve hospitals and stuff, so if that's might not

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be the most relaxing, most relaxing thing to tell you

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to talk about, but you know, I like to tell

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you what's going on in my life as well. But

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at the same time, I'm not going to I'm not

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going to go all deep and serious with this, although

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it has been a very very serious situation. So you know,

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it involves medical and I'm going to talk about a

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little bit about medical stuff, but not really if you

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know what I mean. But I will be talking about

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hospitals because that's where I've been every day for the

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last five days, not for me, but for someone else.

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So it all started in nineteen seventy when I was born.

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Now it's so my neighbor. He's having his new bathroom done.

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And I didn't see him last week pretty much all

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week because he's having his bathroom done and he's used

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to having his own space. So really the fact that

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he had people coming and going all week, I didn't

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really see him, and I didn't bother him, you know,

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I didn't really knock on his door because I could

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see on my camera that he was in and out

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and he was fine, and they were all in and

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out on the I got a door camera in and

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out doing the building work. So on Friday evening, when

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all the builders had finished, I knocked on his door

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to see how he was getting on. And then I say, evening.

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It's still light outside, so probably o'clock seven, eight seven ish,

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you know, six seven, and this is Friday. It's now

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Tuesday evening, and he opened the door. I just got

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in from the sun. I mean, I've just been outside

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and it was still sunny or bright anyway, maybe not Sunday,

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it was still still very bright outside. So everything looks

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a bit weird when when I get inside after being outside,

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especially with these glasses because they're tinted glasses, so it

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makes everything a little bit of all weird kind of

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visual for a short while. Plus my eyesight's it's not

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as good as it used to be. Well, my friend,

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my neighbor. He's my friend as well, but just use

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the word neighbor. I guess it's probably classes of more

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as a friend now. But he opened the door, so

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I just explained my relationship with him. It's friends who benefits. No,

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now it's neighbors with benefits. No, it's a he's quite elderly,

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he's nearly seventy eight. I help him out with some stuff,

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so paying bills, when he gets letters, making phone calls,

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I help him with that stuff, just stuff because he's

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hearing's not great, so I help him out with stuff

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where he you know, just general. I'm not his career,

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but I just try to help him when he needs help.

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And he had never ask for help or for the

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first nine years, but over the last year he's been

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a bit more. I mean he's asked. He asked me

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for help in the past, but only for little bits

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and bobs, and normally locks himself out, or he's lost

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his debit card things like that, or if he looked, Yeah,

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he's had my telephone number for a long time. So

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he locked himself in a couple of times where he

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couldn't open the lock. So you know, I was talking

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to him through the letter box even though he both

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wore on the phone as well, which is weird. And

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that was I've actually did a podcast about that episode.

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And that was strange because the council who I phoned

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would not talk to me because I'm not him. Okay,

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So I phoned up saying, my elderly neighbor is a

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locked inside his flat. He needs to leave his home,

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but he can't open the door because the door is jammed.

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The lock was jammed, so he needed a locksmith. And

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they said, well who is he? I said who he was?

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And he said who are you to him? I said,

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I'm his neighbor. And then they said, well, we can't

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talk to you. I said, you are talking to me. Nope,

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we can't talk to you. We have to talk to him.

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So I literally had I said, well, she said we'll

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phone him up. I said, but you can phone him up.

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So I did phone him up. He couldn't hear him.

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So they phoned me up and they said, can you

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please put me can you put the phone through the

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letter box so he can talk to us? So it

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was weird anyway. That so a few little things like that.

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I ended up putting his fish and chips through the

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letterbox because he couldn't get out to get any food.

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That's a weird one. It's a shared memory though, So

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Friday evening he opens a door. Now he's got very

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fra lately, but he's again, he's seventy eight. He's not

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a big eater. He doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, doesn't He's

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probably one of the most enthusiastic people I've ever met

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regarding sport, regarding anything, and I've ever met anyone possibly

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of any age, that was so enthusiastic about what they love.

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And he loves sport, I mean all sport. Boxing is

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not too bothered about. That's the one I love. But

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he knows about boxing, but not a huge amount. But

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when it comes to football, rugby, cricket, absolutely knows. There

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don't seem to be anything you don't know, and he

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follows all of it. He'll actually he'll listen to one

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spot on the radio, he'll watch one spot on the TV,

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and he'll have another one playing on his tablet, like

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three different sports at the same time. It's just like,

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I don't know how he does it. It's not something

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that I could do. But he loves it. And that's

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what's so sad about the situation because he loves being alive. Right, Okay, again,

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I'm not going to go I don't want to go

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into deep stuff. But he loves he's got energy, he's

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got he's enthusiastic about life, constantly looking forward to the

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next day because the rugby's on, or the crickets on,

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or the football match. He's looking forward to that. He's

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looking forward to the weekend every week because that's when

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a lot of sport is on television. So you know,

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I'm just I'm trying to get across that. He's really nice,

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very chatty, very chatty, but he's a really nice person.

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It's a kind and gentle person. But as probably I

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am me sitting his ways like a lot of people are.

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I guess I am as well in a lot of ways,

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probably in maybe more ways than he is. To be fair,

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and he's independent, and he does not like being does

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not like people interfering with his business, and who does.

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To be honest, I don't think anyone does really do it. However,

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I'm laughing just because it put me in a very

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difficult situation. There's nothing funny at all about this situation.

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There's zero humor. But I'll probably get some out of it.

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But just remember I'm not mocking him or his situation

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at all. I wouldn't know. That's not what I'm doing,

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but I will perhaps laugh at some of the things

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that happened. So open a door, and literally I couldn't

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keep my eyes open because it was so bright. I

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thought he had some kind of light shining out out

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of his flat, and I thought my glasses were turning

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brown again, like the lenses, and then what's going on?

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So I took my glasses off, and it wasn't coming

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from there, it was coming from him. He was yellow.

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And I've seen that once before, many many years ago.

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I had two fouls and two thousand and two thousand

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and four that's when I last saw that, the only

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time I've ever seen it, and that person was a

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severe alcohol drinker alcohol drinker, and he survived, but he

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was in hospital but it gain another really nice person.

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I lived in that house. That's when I lived in Ipswich.

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I lived in the house that was every single person

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in there, apart from the person at the bottom, was

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an alcoholic except me, and I didn't drink that whole year.

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It was just, really I think that's pretty irony. I

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stopped drinking because I a little bit of a drink

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issue previous. I was just drinking excessively for three years,

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like every night for three years, pretty much. So I

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stopped drinking for a whole year. Two thousand and four,

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I moved into this place. The bloat next to me

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was a full on alcoholic. I'm talking like proper not

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didn't go to work. He's just drunk all the time.

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The man downstairs and I got him really well with him.

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I helped him get a council flat when he got evicted,

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so I kind of helped him during that period. I

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wasn't living there anymore, but I just couldn't leave him.

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I wanted to help him to well, if you're friends

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of sudden, you've got to help him. And the bloke

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downstairs was a full on, like really almost like a

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functioning alcoholic. The one next to me wasn't functioning. The

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one downstairs was functioning, and I got him really well

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with him, so again really quite good friends with him.

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The man next to him was also an alcoholic, but

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I didn't He wouldn't talk to me. He just didn't

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like me. So he lived directly below me, and he

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moaned that my I was making too much noise because

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when I moved in, I had this bed what they

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called the beds that are on the floor footons. I

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had a foot on the most uncomfortable bed in my life.

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That was so every time I moved he oh, I

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guess I was moving the floorboards or whatever, and he

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could hear me. I think I'd be listening to the

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radio or something, and he just moaned. So he didn't

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like me, which is fine. Then downstairs at the bottom,

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so that's one two three people, two at the top

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with me and someone two at the bottom, two below me,

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and then two right at the bottom. The one right

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at the bottom, that's the one it ended up possible.

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He was again another functioning alcoholic, and I think he

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was retired, like the two functioning ones were retired. Next

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to him, there was a crackhouse. Well I'm not joking.

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It got closed down by the police, so he didn't drink,

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but he did other stuff. But he also was really nice.

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It's just a weird situation. He was lovely. Yeah, everyone

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in the house was nice. I didn't get on with

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one and he might be nice as well, but everyone

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else is pretty nice. And it was really strange because

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that was my year of abstinence, almost like I'm not

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doing anything this year, and I'm surrounded by all this alcohol.

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It was ridiculous. It was yeah, I don't know, almost

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like it was a test anyway. So I've seen that before.

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So my friend neighbor opposite yellow, yellow skirt and skin,

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and I thought, I'm seeing things here. I had venning

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with me on his lead. So I said, look, do

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you want to show me a bathroom? Said yeah, come in.

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He's exactly the same. It's the same as what he

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ever is. He's like, you know, he was quite bubbly

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as he normally is. He's genuinely quite pleased to see me.

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He doesn't let anyone else in his flat other than

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the builders. He's got no choice about that. But he

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doesn't invite anyone into his home. But he does me. Now,

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he didn't for the first nine years or eight years.

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So I went in there, went to the bathroom. It's

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a really good job they've done. So he's had his

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kitchen done. Now he's got his bathroom. It's nearly finished.

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I've been letting them in this week because he's impossible.

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Such a really nice bathroom. But it's very bright as well,

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because there's a new light in there. It's really because

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00:18:00.240 --> 00:18:03.440
it's really bright at the moment. And I look at him.

233
00:18:03.480 --> 00:18:08.799
I thinking, at this point my glasses have gone back

234
00:18:08.839 --> 00:18:14.839
to normal. I said to him, you are you okay?

235
00:18:15.160 --> 00:18:18.640
He said? He said, what are you talking about? What

236
00:18:19.720 --> 00:18:20.559
are you? Are you okay?

237
00:18:20.640 --> 00:18:26.200
Said yeah, you feel okay? Said yeah? He said why,

238
00:18:26.279 --> 00:18:34.000
I said, oh, you're yellow? And he said what Now.

239
00:18:33.839 --> 00:18:40.000
He doesn't have a mirror in his home, and I

240
00:18:40.039 --> 00:18:43.440
don't know how he shaves. He does shave, so he

241
00:18:43.519 --> 00:18:47.720
must just do it by He must just guess. He's

242
00:18:47.720 --> 00:18:52.119
done it for years. But mind you, I've shaved at

243
00:18:52.119 --> 00:18:54.759
the sink without looking in the mirror. It's possible to

244
00:18:54.799 --> 00:18:57.160
do it like I've done it with a wet shave,

245
00:18:57.359 --> 00:19:01.839
a wet razor. We have had a sink that was

246
00:19:01.880 --> 00:19:06.599
nowhere near mirror because I couldn't be bothered to like

247
00:19:07.319 --> 00:19:11.559
walk two steps to the mirror to do it. But hey,

248
00:19:11.799 --> 00:19:17.599
it's this laziness. It's a challenge as well, isn't it

249
00:19:17.640 --> 00:19:20.400
to do it by touch? And it is possible. I mean,

250
00:19:20.960 --> 00:19:24.480
millions of people around the world, I have no choice

251
00:19:24.519 --> 00:19:26.519
but to do it by touch, do they? I guess

252
00:19:26.519 --> 00:19:30.440
if they're unable to see. So yeah, it is, of

253
00:19:30.440 --> 00:19:37.240
course it's possible. He he didn't know that he was shallow,

254
00:19:37.680 --> 00:19:39.720
but it wasn't just his skin, it was his eyes

255
00:19:39.759 --> 00:19:41.799
as well, that you know, the whites of his eyes.

256
00:19:42.359 --> 00:19:46.599
And I said, are you sure? He said, yeah, We're fine,

257
00:19:47.480 --> 00:19:50.720
and then we just have a normal conversation and I said, well,

258
00:19:50.759 --> 00:19:54.440
I'm just going to head off, and he was joking saying,

259
00:19:54.519 --> 00:19:56.359
I said, if you've got the builders coming at the weekend,

260
00:19:56.440 --> 00:19:58.160
he said, nope, they're not coming in. If they are,

261
00:19:58.640 --> 00:20:00.440
even if they're not, they're not coming in because it's

262
00:20:00.640 --> 00:20:05.759
Rugby tomorrow. And I laughed, I know he would not

263
00:20:05.839 --> 00:20:10.799
answer the door at the weekend. That's his time. I said, okay, cool,

264
00:20:11.440 --> 00:20:12.960
I'll see it like I see it. I see you

265
00:20:12.960 --> 00:20:17.519
on Monday, because you know, I leave him alone at

266
00:20:17.519 --> 00:20:18.480
the weekend.

267
00:20:20.720 --> 00:20:20.880
In.

268
00:20:21.519 --> 00:20:26.519
Then then I get in here because I live opposite,

269
00:20:26.799 --> 00:20:31.440
I get in here and I'm thinking that ain't right.

270
00:20:33.839 --> 00:20:37.039
It's just not right. It's like, I can't how can

271
00:20:37.079 --> 00:20:44.440
I ignore that? It's I understand, And there's people coming

272
00:20:44.480 --> 00:20:46.640
and going not said a thing to him about it

273
00:20:47.000 --> 00:20:49.559
all week. They must have seen him. They have to

274
00:20:49.559 --> 00:20:51.680
see hi, because he's letting him in and he's a

275
00:20:52.160 --> 00:20:54.319
he's a right chatter box. He's probably been talking to

276
00:20:54.359 --> 00:20:56.880
them the whole week, so they've seen him and no

277
00:20:56.920 --> 00:21:00.200
one's mentioned it. But then maybe the fact that they

278
00:21:00.200 --> 00:21:02.920
haven't seen him before they might think that's just how

279
00:21:02.920 --> 00:21:06.079
he looks all the time. It's a weird one, isn't it.

280
00:21:06.079 --> 00:21:12.079
It's difficult. It's see if I see If you see

281
00:21:12.119 --> 00:21:17.400
someone you know really well and they're limping, you're going

282
00:21:17.440 --> 00:21:20.319
to mention it and say you're okay, you're limping. But

283
00:21:20.400 --> 00:21:22.640
if you see someone for the first time you know,

284
00:21:22.680 --> 00:21:25.079
you're a builder, you're knock on the door and they're limping,

285
00:21:25.079 --> 00:21:27.599
you're not going to question it. Yeah, it's I guess

286
00:21:27.640 --> 00:21:31.240
it's the same kind of thing. I suppose, I don't know.

287
00:21:32.799 --> 00:21:36.039
I imagine if you're going into people's houses you see so

288
00:21:36.119 --> 00:21:39.880
many different things that you maybe they don't even notice it,

289
00:21:41.920 --> 00:21:49.079
you know, I'm not sure. Anyway, I'm sitting in here

290
00:21:50.160 --> 00:21:52.680
and I'm starting to get upset because I don't know

291
00:21:52.720 --> 00:21:59.119
what to do, like really starting to get old. This

292
00:21:59.240 --> 00:22:01.599
is very awkward situation because I know what it's like

293
00:22:02.960 --> 00:22:06.880
and I know that he he wouldn't want me interfering.

294
00:22:07.279 --> 00:22:12.319
I was correct as well. So what I did is,

295
00:22:13.759 --> 00:22:15.599
which is something I don't normally do. I left Finny

296
00:22:15.640 --> 00:22:18.519
here and I went out around the corner to a

297
00:22:18.559 --> 00:22:23.920
neighbor that I know, and she's she's a bit older

298
00:22:23.920 --> 00:22:26.839
than me. She's someone that I can like. I felt

299
00:22:26.839 --> 00:22:28.640
I needed to talk to someone a bit older than me.

300
00:22:29.640 --> 00:22:31.440
I don't know why there's not many people older than

301
00:22:31.480 --> 00:22:35.079
me these days, but I thought, I just get her perspective.

302
00:22:37.240 --> 00:22:40.680
And I said, I don't know what to do. And

303
00:22:40.720 --> 00:22:43.079
I said, what I need is really a second opinion,

304
00:22:44.480 --> 00:22:47.480
because I might be I might not be seeing things correctly.

305
00:22:48.440 --> 00:22:51.640
I'm seeing yellow, but maybe he's not. He's not tank.

306
00:22:51.839 --> 00:22:55.880
He doesn't go out in the daytime, really, he goes

307
00:22:55.920 --> 00:23:04.079
out at night. And you know, there was always that

308
00:23:04.119 --> 00:23:08.079
maybe that's why. Maybe there's some kind of vitamin deficiency.

309
00:23:08.119 --> 00:23:11.319
I don't know. I'm not a doctor. I didn't finish

310
00:23:11.319 --> 00:23:14.240
the entire course. I didn't start. I didn't start the

311
00:23:14.240 --> 00:23:17.839
course either. But you know, by saying I didn't finish

312
00:23:17.880 --> 00:23:23.240
my doctorate, it's correct, isn't it. I didn't. I didn't complete,

313
00:23:23.279 --> 00:23:28.680
I didn't get my doctorate. I didn't start a doctorate.

314
00:23:28.720 --> 00:23:31.240
But I didn't get the doctorate. I never became a doctor.

315
00:23:32.079 --> 00:23:35.440
It's true. Doesn't mean I don't you know, I also

316
00:23:35.519 --> 00:23:40.960
don't have any medical training either, So that's irrelevant, isn't it. Really.

317
00:23:45.039 --> 00:23:48.319
I'm almost in disbelief about what's happened over the last

318
00:23:48.359 --> 00:23:53.799
five days. Just so I'm used to not going out

319
00:23:54.519 --> 00:23:57.160
other than three times a day with this little one here,

320
00:23:57.160 --> 00:24:02.440
this little fur ball in the park. I don't even

321
00:24:02.839 --> 00:24:05.440
I don't even cross the road like to go to

322
00:24:05.480 --> 00:24:08.319
the petro station or the pet shop anymore. Everything I

323
00:24:08.400 --> 00:24:10.720
buy is online. I don't. It's almost started. There's an

324
00:24:10.720 --> 00:24:16.319
invisible barrier that I've struggled to cross. I don't get

325
00:24:16.359 --> 00:24:21.440
my my prescriptions get delivered or I try and get

326
00:24:21.480 --> 00:24:24.000
someone to pick them up for me. I don't even

327
00:24:24.000 --> 00:24:31.400
travel there anymore. And it's been like that for probably

328
00:24:31.440 --> 00:24:35.599
since my friend downstairs passed away. Pretty much, I haven't

329
00:24:35.640 --> 00:24:38.960
really got out. I haven't been that much at all.

330
00:24:41.160 --> 00:24:44.440
In fact, the last time I went out, last time

331
00:24:44.480 --> 00:24:50.319
I left this area, I literally kind of left this

332
00:24:50.400 --> 00:24:56.160
area I think was probably my friend's funeral, which was

333
00:24:57.319 --> 00:25:00.920
a year and a half ago something like that. Yeah,

334
00:25:01.039 --> 00:25:05.000
over a even and a half ago. So yeah, it

335
00:25:05.079 --> 00:25:07.400
was kind of strange. So anyway, I'm saying that because

336
00:25:08.279 --> 00:25:12.400
I've ended up having to go out so Friday, so

337
00:25:12.480 --> 00:25:16.039
around my friend the neighbor's house, and they said, oh,

338
00:25:16.200 --> 00:25:19.000
you know, you know, I'm not being rude to them

339
00:25:19.079 --> 00:25:25.400
because its natural human thing, isn't it. We start, we

340
00:25:25.519 --> 00:25:30.039
start diagnosing as soon as you say someone's turned yellow,

341
00:25:30.519 --> 00:25:33.680
Well it's this, it's that. It's that, you know, And

342
00:25:36.920 --> 00:25:41.240
my personal the way I kind of look at it

343
00:25:41.279 --> 00:25:44.119
is I don't know what it is, but I know

344
00:25:44.160 --> 00:25:46.720
he's not supposed to be yellow. That's all I can say.

345
00:25:47.200 --> 00:25:48.759
And I know that that can be a sign of

346
00:25:48.839 --> 00:25:52.079
something very serious. And I went online. I did research

347
00:25:52.119 --> 00:25:54.720
it as well before as soon as I came back

348
00:25:55.079 --> 00:26:03.480
just online to sort of all, okay, no description of

349
00:26:03.519 --> 00:26:07.200
turning yellow came up as being a positive, that's all.

350
00:26:07.200 --> 00:26:10.519
I'm saying. So I thought, oh, what do I do next?

351
00:26:10.920 --> 00:26:16.640
So I went around my neighbors. They basically diagnosed him,

352
00:26:16.680 --> 00:26:20.119
and we're about to write him a prescription. I said, no, no,

353
00:26:20.200 --> 00:26:23.440
wait a minute. First of all, you're not a doctor. Secondly,

354
00:26:26.359 --> 00:26:31.599
can one of you come around with me? And he

355
00:26:31.720 --> 00:26:35.839
knows the daughter because he's met loads of times. She's

356
00:26:35.839 --> 00:26:39.599
a little bit younger than me, and so I said,

357
00:26:39.599 --> 00:26:42.960
if you come round, and I knock on his door

358
00:26:45.039 --> 00:26:47.440
because they asked me. Actually, the neighbor they were visited

359
00:26:47.519 --> 00:26:49.480
asked me if I had a toilet roll the could borrow.

360
00:26:50.039 --> 00:26:52.160
So I thought, okay, I'll use that as an excuse.

361
00:26:52.640 --> 00:26:56.240
I knock on my neighbor's door the opposite me, asking

362
00:26:56.279 --> 00:26:59.119
me if he's got a spare toilet role because I've

363
00:26:59.160 --> 00:27:02.599
only got one left. So it gave me an opportunity

364
00:27:02.960 --> 00:27:06.160
to get him to open the door, because he does

365
00:27:06.319 --> 00:27:10.680
as he did answer the door to me and the

366
00:27:10.759 --> 00:27:14.200
other neighbor around the corner. She was with me, and

367
00:27:14.279 --> 00:27:17.039
as soon as the door opened she just went wow

368
00:27:18.000 --> 00:27:23.799
like she I mean, she was even shocked, even considered

369
00:27:23.839 --> 00:27:26.960
already told her what was happening. I don't know, actually

370
00:27:26.960 --> 00:27:30.680
didn't believe me or whatever, or didn't think it was

371
00:27:30.759 --> 00:27:38.160
quite as you know, significant, And he kind of says

372
00:27:38.359 --> 00:27:43.640
he got rid of us quite quickly, and so I

373
00:27:44.720 --> 00:27:47.079
gave him a toilet role because I didn't need a

374
00:27:47.119 --> 00:27:49.839
toilet roll, but I gave him my one. Came back

375
00:27:49.880 --> 00:27:56.519
in there. I've I didn't know what to do next.

376
00:27:57.519 --> 00:28:02.799
I really struggled. Really, it's weird, I did. I think

377
00:28:02.799 --> 00:28:07.119
with my friend downstairs it was just me the whole time,

378
00:28:08.039 --> 00:28:11.440
well not just me, but generally it was very often

379
00:28:11.559 --> 00:28:15.519
only me that was dealing with him with his issues.

380
00:28:16.759 --> 00:28:19.319
So I kind of got used to it over years.

381
00:28:19.720 --> 00:28:23.400
In years of it, it was just progressive, you know,

382
00:28:23.519 --> 00:28:27.799
in a sense of more of the same. This was

383
00:28:27.799 --> 00:28:30.599
completely new. This is something I'd never dealt with with

384
00:28:30.720 --> 00:28:35.759
him before, or with anyone, not really in this sense,

385
00:28:36.000 --> 00:28:43.880
like being the person he needed to do something. So

386
00:28:46.680 --> 00:28:49.279
I called one one one, which is in the UK,

387
00:28:49.440 --> 00:28:54.519
that is, it's like a medical helpline. It's not nine

388
00:28:54.599 --> 00:28:58.279
to nine nine like in some countries it's nine one one,

389
00:28:58.319 --> 00:29:02.039
isn't it or whatever, different different numbers that would be emergency.

390
00:29:02.519 --> 00:29:05.119
One one one is a place where you can phone up.

391
00:29:05.720 --> 00:29:08.599
They ask you some questions. You can ask questions on

392
00:29:08.640 --> 00:29:13.599
behalf of someone else technically, I mean you can't. Personally.

393
00:29:13.759 --> 00:29:17.160
You can if you've got a loved one that's got

394
00:29:17.160 --> 00:29:20.240
conditions or got some kind of symptoms, you can ask

395
00:29:20.319 --> 00:29:27.680
for advice. Well, I did this, and the person on

396
00:29:27.720 --> 00:29:31.440
the one one one they were very limited because I

397
00:29:31.519 --> 00:29:40.960
wasn't with him, and they kept asking me questions that

398
00:29:41.000 --> 00:29:45.799
I couldn't answer. Well, they asked, how does he feeling?

399
00:29:45.799 --> 00:29:48.799
I said, he's feeling fine. Is he there with you now?

400
00:29:48.799 --> 00:29:51.160
I said no, it's not with me. Now, well, can

401
00:29:51.200 --> 00:29:54.839
you go and get him? I said not really, because

402
00:29:54.880 --> 00:29:58.960
he told me to leave him alone, basically in so

403
00:29:59.079 --> 00:30:02.599
many words, stop fussing. I think might have been one

404
00:30:02.640 --> 00:30:08.200
of his sentences. And they said, okay, what's his day

405
00:30:08.240 --> 00:30:09.880
of birth? So I don't know his date of birth,

406
00:30:09.880 --> 00:30:15.079
but I know he's nearly seventy eight. Okay, but I

407
00:30:15.119 --> 00:30:17.720
do know his name. I've got his address and all

408
00:30:17.759 --> 00:30:21.319
that stuff. I've got his telephone number. I said to

409
00:30:21.400 --> 00:30:23.559
him and said, okay, all right. So he said, well,

410
00:30:23.599 --> 00:30:27.680
based on what you said, he needs to call. We

411
00:30:27.759 --> 00:30:35.920
need to speak to him. I said, okay, So he said,

412
00:30:36.079 --> 00:30:38.559
They said, we can't deal with you. We're going to

413
00:30:38.640 --> 00:30:42.200
need to deal with him because he's the one that

414
00:30:42.440 --> 00:30:50.799
is got the condition. And I thought, Okay, this is

415
00:30:50.839 --> 00:30:54.519
going to be awkward, but he said it's important because

416
00:30:54.759 --> 00:30:57.519
not really because of his age or anything, just basically

417
00:30:57.599 --> 00:31:04.440
because of the from what you said, it's an important thing.

418
00:31:04.759 --> 00:31:10.519
It's a condition that will need medical attention. And we

419
00:31:10.599 --> 00:31:14.759
want to get some information from him regarding medical background,

420
00:31:14.839 --> 00:31:17.759
which I don't have. I don't know anything. It turns

421
00:31:17.799 --> 00:31:20.240
out he's never ever been, never had anything wrong with

422
00:31:20.319 --> 00:31:23.519
him every in his life. Never. I'm not going to

423
00:31:23.720 --> 00:31:26.720
give his information away or say who it is. He

424
00:31:26.720 --> 00:31:28.680
could be anyone, so you're not going to know that.

425
00:31:29.319 --> 00:31:34.880
But he's completely never been ill other than just the

426
00:31:35.079 --> 00:31:37.359
general things that all people have of you now and

427
00:31:37.400 --> 00:31:42.359
then doesn't even have a doctor. He's not even registered

428
00:31:42.359 --> 00:31:46.759
with a doctor. And that's how healthy he's been his

429
00:31:46.839 --> 00:31:53.319
whole life. And I did tell them that I knew.

430
00:31:53.400 --> 00:31:55.000
I didn't know about the doctor, but I knew that

431
00:31:55.039 --> 00:31:58.319
he told me for he's always told me never been

432
00:31:58.319 --> 00:32:00.640
on medication, because when he heard that I was medication,

433
00:32:02.039 --> 00:32:05.799
he was kind of surprised that I was on because

434
00:32:05.839 --> 00:32:09.759
he's on nothing and I'm on what four different medications

435
00:32:10.359 --> 00:32:14.400
and they're like, really, you're on all them. I said, yeah,

436
00:32:14.759 --> 00:32:23.000
shut up, and he and he was interested in the bipolar.

437
00:32:23.039 --> 00:32:25.200
He was interested in me telling him about that stuff.

438
00:32:25.640 --> 00:32:27.880
So every now and then he asks me a question

439
00:32:27.920 --> 00:32:32.720
about it. But it's like gradually, you know. Anyway, So

440
00:32:34.599 --> 00:32:42.400
I'm here, I don't know what to do. I've phoned

441
00:32:42.440 --> 00:32:47.000
downstairs to my other neighbors and I said, I don't

442
00:32:47.000 --> 00:32:53.160
know what to do. I really don't know what to do.

443
00:32:53.200 --> 00:32:56.279
And this is there's a lady that lives downstairs that

444
00:32:56.319 --> 00:33:00.079
I'm going really well with. She's just directly blow me.

445
00:33:01.599 --> 00:33:05.720
And she's twenty years old, but she's probably way more

446
00:33:05.720 --> 00:33:09.319
mature than I am. It's weird. It's not really weird,

447
00:33:09.359 --> 00:33:12.319
but I'm just not. I didn't know what to do.

448
00:33:12.440 --> 00:33:15.079
I really didn't know what to do, and I needed

449
00:33:15.079 --> 00:33:17.960
some support. And maybe the fact that I asked for

450
00:33:18.039 --> 00:33:21.559
support is because I've never had any support with my

451
00:33:21.799 --> 00:33:25.079
other friend and I realized that I needed it back then,

452
00:33:25.599 --> 00:33:27.319
but I didn't have any I had no one to

453
00:33:27.359 --> 00:33:35.240
ask for help this situation. I just decided I'm going

454
00:33:35.279 --> 00:33:37.599
to ask, which is why I did ask the neighbor

455
00:33:37.640 --> 00:33:44.720
around the corner. The neighbor downstairs, and she said, well,

456
00:33:44.799 --> 00:33:48.240
i'll tell you what I'll do. I'll come up and

457
00:33:51.119 --> 00:33:55.200
we'll tell them together. Because I didn't know if he

458
00:33:55.319 --> 00:33:59.279
was going to get angry with me, because you already

459
00:33:59.319 --> 00:34:02.880
told me pretty much know twice. The second time it

460
00:34:02.960 --> 00:34:05.200
was a little bit like go away. Did he cut

461
00:34:05.240 --> 00:34:07.519
close the door a little bit, you know, quite quickly?

462
00:34:09.280 --> 00:34:11.199
So I knock on his door for a third time.

463
00:34:11.840 --> 00:34:14.639
This time is someone else standing there? So that's this

464
00:34:14.719 --> 00:34:18.320
is really annoying him, which is understandable. He would annoy

465
00:34:18.360 --> 00:34:24.599
me as well, especially as he doesn't he knows them,

466
00:34:24.639 --> 00:34:26.360
but he doesn't know them the way he knows me.

467
00:34:26.519 --> 00:34:30.599
So these are people that he's seen, but he hasn't

468
00:34:30.639 --> 00:34:34.639
doesn't really have like regular contact with them. And I said,

469
00:34:34.679 --> 00:34:36.760
I'm the only one he lets in his house. No

470
00:34:36.800 --> 00:34:42.920
one else, no one else is allowed in there. So

471
00:34:44.119 --> 00:34:47.440
I've got her. Her boyfriend's there as well. He's standing

472
00:34:47.480 --> 00:34:50.159
on the stairs, but he's tall enough to see over

473
00:34:50.239 --> 00:34:55.320
the banister and he opens the door and I say

474
00:34:55.360 --> 00:35:01.280
to him, oh, you know, you know her downstairs. I

475
00:35:01.280 --> 00:35:03.360
don't know what excuse I made for her being there,

476
00:35:03.920 --> 00:35:10.400
but I said, I've called one one one about your

477
00:35:10.639 --> 00:35:13.159
about your situation, and he said, what did you do

478
00:35:13.239 --> 00:35:20.239
that for? I said, well, I said it.

479
00:35:19.079 --> 00:35:19.480
It just.

480
00:35:21.079 --> 00:35:22.800
He seemed like you were looking forward to the weekend.

481
00:35:22.840 --> 00:35:24.599
I just wanted to ruin all the rugby for you.

482
00:35:24.760 --> 00:35:29.880
So I didn't say that that's like, what other option

483
00:35:29.960 --> 00:35:33.840
did I have? He said why? I said, because I care.

484
00:35:36.519 --> 00:35:38.559
That's why. That's why I called it, Because I care.

485
00:35:39.199 --> 00:35:41.079
I said, if that's I was getting a little bit

486
00:35:41.079 --> 00:35:43.239
defensive to be honest, that if that's a problem for you,

487
00:35:43.320 --> 00:35:47.280
that's your that's your problem. But I'm sorry. You know,

488
00:35:47.440 --> 00:35:49.239
I've gone through life with a lot of people not

489
00:35:49.360 --> 00:35:52.360
caring and no one it's like, and he's used to

490
00:35:52.400 --> 00:35:55.360
not being on his own, and I see him as

491
00:35:55.400 --> 00:35:58.760
a future version of me in some ways, because we're

492
00:35:58.800 --> 00:36:03.440
both very on her own, doing her own thing, very independent,

493
00:36:05.920 --> 00:36:13.039
don't really like being bothered, and don't generally ask anyone

494
00:36:13.079 --> 00:36:19.760
for anything for all possible. And I was really I

495
00:36:19.800 --> 00:36:22.880
was really getting in a way of that. I was,

496
00:36:23.119 --> 00:36:28.760
I mean knocking on his door three one, two, three,

497
00:36:29.239 --> 00:36:35.559
three times. And the first time was fine anyway, because

498
00:36:35.800 --> 00:36:37.679
that was just a standard let's say, a look at

499
00:36:37.679 --> 00:36:42.239
your bathroom, But the other two times and having different

500
00:36:42.320 --> 00:36:46.480
people standing there with me. He was very anyway. The

501
00:36:46.480 --> 00:36:49.599
third time he got angry with me, and I understand it,

502
00:36:49.679 --> 00:36:53.280
I do, But at the same time, I also needed

503
00:36:53.280 --> 00:36:56.760
a third opinion. I just I needed to be one

504
00:36:56.840 --> 00:36:59.360
hundred percent sure because I knew I was about to

505
00:36:59.440 --> 00:37:03.320
ruin his week end at the very least, because he's

506
00:37:03.400 --> 00:37:07.159
looking forward to watching the rugby. And I also thought

507
00:37:07.760 --> 00:37:11.800
there's a chance he won't talk to me again. But

508
00:37:11.840 --> 00:37:15.679
then I've got this. There's this I told my friend downstairs,

509
00:37:15.920 --> 00:37:20.840
the one Luke. I said to him at least once

510
00:37:21.800 --> 00:37:24.920
when because I'd call an ambulance for him multiple times

511
00:37:25.679 --> 00:37:29.360
and he hated it. It would never go tospital. Never

512
00:37:29.639 --> 00:37:33.159
under any circumstances would he be taken Tosspital in an ambulance.

513
00:37:34.079 --> 00:37:36.079
And I always wanted to take him, but he never went.

514
00:37:37.639 --> 00:37:39.400
And I said to him once, so I might have

515
00:37:39.440 --> 00:37:42.599
said it more than once. I said, listen, mate, I'd

516
00:37:42.719 --> 00:37:46.000
rather you hate me and be alive that love me

517
00:37:46.039 --> 00:37:48.440
and be dead. You know, I noticed, this is pretty

518
00:37:48.480 --> 00:37:53.320
a silly sentence to say. But and when I said it,

519
00:37:53.400 --> 00:37:56.960
I was quite not aggressive, but like I wasn't being

520
00:37:57.559 --> 00:38:00.920
all gentle with it. It was like that's how it is.

521
00:38:01.599 --> 00:38:03.159
You got a problem with it, You're going to have

522
00:38:03.199 --> 00:38:06.760
to deal with it, because I'm not going to stand

523
00:38:06.800 --> 00:38:12.239
and watch. I'm not just going to ignore someone who's

524
00:38:12.280 --> 00:38:14.519
in trouble. I can't. I can't do that. I just

525
00:38:14.519 --> 00:38:19.800
don't have it in me to do that. So I

526
00:38:19.840 --> 00:38:23.760
said the same thing to Alex's I got that little

527
00:38:23.800 --> 00:38:27.400
line rehearsed. I feel, do you ever get a feeling,

528
00:38:27.440 --> 00:38:32.159
you know when you see Clint Eastwood or those movies

529
00:38:32.280 --> 00:38:35.079
and they say the things like go on make my day,

530
00:38:36.599 --> 00:38:38.719
Like he's got it rehearsed. I know he got rehearsed

531
00:38:38.719 --> 00:38:43.480
as inn. It was in the movie. It was a script,

532
00:38:44.119 --> 00:38:49.800
but it's like, it's a really good line, but I'll

533
00:38:49.840 --> 00:38:52.519
just keep it there for the good, for the right moment.

534
00:38:53.199 --> 00:38:56.360
So I said that to him on the third time

535
00:38:56.400 --> 00:38:59.159
we were together. No not no. One wasn't the third

536
00:38:59.159 --> 00:39:02.039
time together. It was okay. The third time I was

537
00:39:02.119 --> 00:39:06.639
knocking his door. I told him that i'd called one

538
00:39:06.719 --> 00:39:15.199
one one, and he said, you shouldn't have done that.

539
00:39:16.719 --> 00:39:20.159
I said, well I did, so you shouldn't have done

540
00:39:20.519 --> 00:39:24.480
but I did. And he was very angry. He shut

541
00:39:24.480 --> 00:39:26.239
the door in my face, standed the door in my face.

542
00:39:26.960 --> 00:39:29.239
Apparently he says something rude to me as well, but

543
00:39:29.280 --> 00:39:32.639
I didn't realize that my neighbor heard, well, both of

544
00:39:32.679 --> 00:39:34.960
them heard him. For some reason, I didn't hear it,

545
00:39:36.119 --> 00:39:43.239
so that was awkward. Now at this point, my other

546
00:39:43.280 --> 00:39:48.760
neighbors from downstairs, they come into my flat and they're like, wow,

547
00:39:50.840 --> 00:39:53.119
probably surprised at how he was acting to me, because

548
00:39:53.119 --> 00:39:55.599
I know that me and him are being quite close

549
00:39:55.679 --> 00:40:03.000
for the last year or so, so it's kind of

550
00:40:03.320 --> 00:40:06.760
she was surprised at that because she's the whole time

551
00:40:06.800 --> 00:40:09.599
she's lived at me and him have been. We we get

552
00:40:09.639 --> 00:40:12.360
on really, you know, she sees us. I don't know it,

553
00:40:12.440 --> 00:40:18.960
just we just Yeah. She was just surprised at how

554
00:40:19.000 --> 00:40:22.760
he was acting. So she came in there and she said, well,

555
00:40:27.880 --> 00:40:32.719
I don't know what to do. So what she did

556
00:40:33.000 --> 00:40:34.239
is she called one.

557
00:40:34.119 --> 00:40:34.639
More one.

558
00:40:36.239 --> 00:40:41.000
And reported it and said, look, the neighbor, he won't

559
00:40:41.440 --> 00:40:44.719
he won't listen to us, he won't allow anyone to

560
00:40:44.760 --> 00:40:53.199
come in and you know, medical anything like that, blah blah.

561
00:40:53.239 --> 00:40:55.719
So one more one they had already told me because

562
00:40:55.719 --> 00:40:58.920
I called them back again as well, and they kept

563
00:40:58.920 --> 00:41:02.159
asking the same question, is he with you? Can you

564
00:41:02.239 --> 00:41:06.320
check what's his condition now? I said, I mean, I'd

565
00:41:06.360 --> 00:41:10.239
literally to the same person. I said, probably six seven times,

566
00:41:10.280 --> 00:41:12.599
I'm not with him because you won't let me in

567
00:41:12.599 --> 00:41:14.519
the flat, shut the door in my face. We slammed

568
00:41:14.519 --> 00:41:16.559
the door in my face. He won't let me in.

569
00:41:17.519 --> 00:41:21.280
I can't talk to him, and every other probably three

570
00:41:21.320 --> 00:41:26.440
minutes later. So can I talk to him? Like he's

571
00:41:26.440 --> 00:41:28.639
not with me? So is he still yellow?

572
00:41:28.840 --> 00:41:29.000
Like?

573
00:41:29.239 --> 00:41:31.719
It was weird? It was kind of I realized they've

574
00:41:31.719 --> 00:41:34.519
got their script and they're trying to get to the

575
00:41:34.559 --> 00:41:37.960
bottom of it. So I'm not in no way being horrible.

576
00:41:38.039 --> 00:41:47.679
I'm just it was it was difficult, and she said, well,

577
00:41:47.760 --> 00:41:50.920
we'll get back to you. I'll get her. They were

578
00:41:50.960 --> 00:41:53.320
all nice. Everyone I spoke to is nice. We'll get

579
00:41:53.440 --> 00:41:58.199
someone back to you. She already spoke to a manager.

580
00:41:58.280 --> 00:42:00.599
And then they said we'll get back to you. And

581
00:42:00.719 --> 00:42:02.760
then they said that also to my other neighbor. They

582
00:42:02.760 --> 00:42:06.119
didn't get back to my other neighbor, and I thought

583
00:42:06.159 --> 00:42:09.639
that was it.

584
00:42:08.199 --> 00:42:08.280
But.

585
00:42:10.480 --> 00:42:15.360
I gave them his number and I said, unlikely he's

586
00:42:15.360 --> 00:42:17.639
going to answer the phone if he hasn't even turned

587
00:42:17.679 --> 00:42:20.440
it off. He's locked the door, so you can't get in,

588
00:42:21.199 --> 00:42:24.079
and unlikely he's going to answer the door. I was

589
00:42:24.119 --> 00:42:26.920
wrong and all that. Actually I was wrong. He had

590
00:42:26.960 --> 00:42:31.440
locked it, but he actually was very compliant with them,

591
00:42:31.480 --> 00:42:38.000
not with me. So I got I can't haven't got

592
00:42:38.000 --> 00:42:42.639
access to my phone. So probably about half an hour later,

593
00:42:42.800 --> 00:42:46.719
maybe the phone went. Maybe an hour later the phone

594
00:42:46.760 --> 00:42:50.880
went and it was one more one again, I think

595
00:42:50.880 --> 00:42:57.599
this time it was a nurse and she said, are

596
00:42:57.599 --> 00:42:59.760
you with him? I said, no, I'm not with him.

597
00:43:00.960 --> 00:43:03.519
He's in a different flat. The door was locked. He

598
00:43:03.639 --> 00:43:10.760
hates me now, She said, I I understand. Well, we've

599
00:43:10.760 --> 00:43:20.599
got his telephone number and he's yeah, I will try

600
00:43:20.599 --> 00:43:29.159
and call him and we're gonna basically send a paramedic around.

601
00:43:29.239 --> 00:43:30.800
She said, can you knock on his door let him know?

602
00:43:30.840 --> 00:43:35.239
I said no, I really can't. I said, well I can,

603
00:43:35.360 --> 00:43:37.599
but you won't answer the door. That's a guarantee, not

604
00:43:37.760 --> 00:43:41.320
to me anyway, and that's just going to upset him

605
00:43:41.320 --> 00:43:44.960
even more. I really didn't expect him to answer the

606
00:43:44.960 --> 00:43:49.280
phone to them, But she phoned back about fifteen minutes

607
00:43:49.360 --> 00:43:52.800
later and said they've spoken to him. He was nicest

608
00:43:52.800 --> 00:43:56.039
pie on the phone. He agreed to have the paramedics

609
00:43:56.079 --> 00:44:00.039
come around. He was going to let them in, and

610
00:44:00.800 --> 00:44:09.320
it was absolutely lovely, and I thought, really, so, I

611
00:44:09.320 --> 00:44:16.280
think it's at this point I went to bed. I

612
00:44:16.280 --> 00:44:17.760
didn't really go to bed, but I went for a

613
00:44:17.840 --> 00:44:22.159
lie down because I didn't feel any longer that I

614
00:44:22.199 --> 00:44:26.199
could be involved, because the way he'd treated me and

615
00:44:27.119 --> 00:44:30.239
the way that he'd spoken to me, and I didn't

616
00:44:30.280 --> 00:44:33.599
think that he'd want me involved. But at the same time,

617
00:44:34.519 --> 00:44:38.239
he was getting medical assistance and that was the most

618
00:44:38.280 --> 00:44:43.400
important thing. Having me around wasn't important, That's what I

619
00:44:43.440 --> 00:44:50.719
thought anyway, but him getting help was important. And so

620
00:44:50.760 --> 00:44:53.639
they went in there. I was just laying down, like

621
00:44:53.760 --> 00:44:57.239
quarter past ten or something. They weren't in there long.

622
00:44:58.239 --> 00:45:01.239
There was no big long thing. It was like, right, yep,

623
00:45:02.159 --> 00:45:05.039
we're taking this hospital. They were in there for fifteen

624
00:45:05.079 --> 00:45:10.280
minutes at half past ten with in his barking, so

625
00:45:10.280 --> 00:45:12.840
you can hear the door go. I left my door open,

626
00:45:12.920 --> 00:45:14.880
which is not what I normally do when I'm in

627
00:45:14.920 --> 00:45:19.239
bed at that time, but I looked at the camera.

628
00:45:19.280 --> 00:45:21.480
I saw that they were coming out and he was

629
00:45:21.519 --> 00:45:28.679
locking the door. So I came out and I said,

630
00:45:30.119 --> 00:45:36.320
you're right, it's very awkward, and the paramedics. They knew

631
00:45:36.360 --> 00:45:37.920
who I was. I guess they knew because I didn't

632
00:45:37.920 --> 00:45:42.840
want to called. Not knew me personally, but I think

633
00:45:42.840 --> 00:45:44.480
I probably told him I'm the one a card you.

634
00:45:46.440 --> 00:46:01.320
In fact, wait a minute, wait a minute, I'm no,

635
00:46:01.480 --> 00:46:06.280
I've got this wrong. I'm doing this in the wrong order. Right.

636
00:46:06.360 --> 00:46:11.320
Here's what happened. I took Vinnie out for his last

637
00:46:11.320 --> 00:46:17.599
little wi that's it, and I'm coming back and the

638
00:46:17.639 --> 00:46:24.480
ambulance is there or yeah, we're coming back, and the

639
00:46:24.519 --> 00:46:28.480
ambulance was there. So I go up to them and

640
00:46:28.519 --> 00:46:32.679
say hi. They said hi. I said, I'm the one

641
00:46:32.679 --> 00:46:37.199
that called you. They said, oh, okay, hi, and I

642
00:46:37.239 --> 00:46:41.079
said and I had just explained the situation, and they

643
00:46:41.119 --> 00:46:47.719
went upstairs, and I just waited, oh yeah, oh that's what.

644
00:46:47.880 --> 00:46:53.320
That's it. I saw the ambulance outside. I came down

645
00:46:53.440 --> 00:46:55.480
to take him into the garden, but for I go

646
00:46:55.519 --> 00:47:00.159
out the front and I turned right for somebody, and

647
00:47:00.559 --> 00:47:03.519
then I turned left the game. It's weird anyway, And

648
00:47:03.559 --> 00:47:06.360
I went out and told him who I was and

649
00:47:07.079 --> 00:47:09.360
that I don't want I'm the one that called originally,

650
00:47:09.480 --> 00:47:15.840
and explained my perspective of what's kind of going on

651
00:47:15.880 --> 00:47:20.199
with him just because he's coloring. Really the physically feels

652
00:47:20.199 --> 00:47:24.559
fine and everything. And they said okay, so they went upstairs.

653
00:47:26.039 --> 00:47:31.199
I took Vinnie in the garden. So they were knocking

654
00:47:31.199 --> 00:47:33.159
for a little while before your answers to be fair

655
00:47:33.880 --> 00:47:38.119
and then but they didn't give up, and I just waited.

656
00:47:38.480 --> 00:47:41.920
I waited and listened until he'd let them in and

657
00:47:41.960 --> 00:47:44.920
they closed the door, and then I went upstairs and

658
00:47:45.000 --> 00:47:48.280
I went and lied down. But they weren't there for long,

659
00:47:48.360 --> 00:47:50.800
and then they brought him out. So I go outside,

660
00:47:50.880 --> 00:47:56.519
say you're right, and she said, there was two paramedics.

661
00:47:57.280 --> 00:48:00.880
So we're taking to the hospital. I said, as I

662
00:48:01.199 --> 00:48:03.320
speak to Alex, I said, how you doing? He said,

663
00:48:04.079 --> 00:48:10.599
I think he apologized to me. And I said to him,

664
00:48:11.000 --> 00:48:16.360
brought me to come with you? He said yes, So

665
00:48:17.760 --> 00:48:20.920
I went with him. This was like half ten, got

666
00:48:20.960 --> 00:48:23.360
an ambulance with him. He's lying down on a bed

667
00:48:23.440 --> 00:48:26.719
thing and I'm sitting in a chair. I didn't even

668
00:48:26.719 --> 00:48:31.559
know they had chairs and ambulances. Never been for an

669
00:48:31.599 --> 00:48:35.639
ambulance ride as in my memory, maybe when I was

670
00:48:35.639 --> 00:48:38.119
a kid, but not in my adult memory. I don't

671
00:48:38.119 --> 00:48:44.679
remember ever ever being traveling in an ambulance and It

672
00:48:44.760 --> 00:48:48.679
was a very strange, very strange experience because there was

673
00:48:48.760 --> 00:48:51.960
no windows. Well there's windows, but all black blackened out.

674
00:48:52.800 --> 00:48:58.000
So it's almost like traveling on the tube, like underground,

675
00:48:59.039 --> 00:49:04.440
the underground railway, but no stops. You got not no

676
00:49:04.559 --> 00:49:09.119
railway stations or anything going through. And I had no

677
00:49:09.159 --> 00:49:11.599
idea where I was. I knew I was in an ambulance,

678
00:49:12.199 --> 00:49:16.880
but I had no idea where I was, like within

679
00:49:17.000 --> 00:49:21.400
the distance of traveling to the hospital. He was fine,

680
00:49:22.000 --> 00:49:25.719
he was joking, and they've got a cup of coffee

681
00:49:25.760 --> 00:49:31.119
from Costas on the way. It was yeah. And then

682
00:49:31.679 --> 00:49:37.599
so I was with him till three o'clock or three

683
00:49:37.639 --> 00:49:41.679
point thirty in the morning. That's when I took that photo.

684
00:49:41.679 --> 00:49:45.400
I took that video of that fox outside the hospital

685
00:49:45.440 --> 00:49:49.320
because I was waiting for taxi. It was right outside.

686
00:49:49.400 --> 00:49:50.920
But there's got a lot of lights at day in

687
00:49:50.920 --> 00:49:54.679
the hospital. But it was just like wow, almost like daytime,

688
00:49:56.199 --> 00:50:00.440
but very quiet. See, Friday night was going to be

689
00:50:00.480 --> 00:50:05.960
really busy, but it wasn't. And the busiest days, which

690
00:50:05.960 --> 00:50:10.719
I found very interesting, just kind of threw me off

691
00:50:10.719 --> 00:50:12.880
a bit. But apparently the busiest times of the hospital

692
00:50:13.000 --> 00:50:18.000
or are Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday at that hospital anyway,

693
00:50:18.639 --> 00:50:22.360
I mean A and E. Of course it gets I

694
00:50:22.360 --> 00:50:26.679
suppose it's busy pretty much the whole time, but it's

695
00:50:26.800 --> 00:50:28.719
you know, it seems to be that the hospital as

696
00:50:28.760 --> 00:50:31.280
a whole, because they've got less staff on on of

697
00:50:31.280 --> 00:50:37.480
the weekend. So I've been here every day since Friday,

698
00:50:38.639 --> 00:50:41.000
and I've seen it get busier and busier and busier,

699
00:50:42.119 --> 00:50:45.800
like every day. It's almost like a twenty five percent

700
00:50:46.239 --> 00:50:51.199
of the people added on. It's weird, including staff as well.

701
00:50:51.679 --> 00:50:53.760
So where there was like maybe two or three staff,

702
00:50:53.880 --> 00:51:01.599
now there is ten. It's yeah, it's really busy anyway.

703
00:51:01.679 --> 00:51:10.639
So they didn't put him into A and E. They

704
00:51:10.679 --> 00:51:13.800
didn't have him sitting down waiting to be seen for

705
00:51:13.920 --> 00:51:19.039
hours and hours. They took him straight into an emergency

706
00:51:20.119 --> 00:51:23.079
observation place, so he was still he was in A

707
00:51:23.199 --> 00:51:25.440
and E, but he was on a bed in A

708
00:51:25.559 --> 00:51:29.639
and E. And they took his bloods and they did

709
00:51:29.639 --> 00:51:33.760
all that really quickly, and he had a cat scan

710
00:51:35.000 --> 00:51:40.840
within an hour of being there, I'd say maybe two hours,

711
00:51:44.800 --> 00:51:46.280
so I was kind of with him. I didn't go

712
00:51:46.320 --> 00:51:50.519
into the X ray place, but I was outside and

713
00:51:53.000 --> 00:51:59.400
everyone was so nice. Bearing in mind they're just super busy.

714
00:52:00.239 --> 00:52:04.360
You know, it's really weird. I think that some people

715
00:52:04.440 --> 00:52:07.559
they's the oh they're just sitting around doing nothing, but

716
00:52:07.599 --> 00:52:11.840
they're not. You know, it's like, okay, maybe they're chatting.

717
00:52:12.639 --> 00:52:15.599
They need to have that moments, a couple of moments

718
00:52:15.639 --> 00:52:19.440
of just having a chat, you know, with their friends,

719
00:52:20.000 --> 00:52:22.400
talking about and that's part of the learning process, is what,

720
00:52:22.519 --> 00:52:25.079
isn't it. Because you've got a lot of young student

721
00:52:25.599 --> 00:52:30.360
students working there, student nurses, student doctors, and they learn

722
00:52:30.400 --> 00:52:33.880
from each other's experiences as well, don't they. So if

723
00:52:33.920 --> 00:52:39.039
someone's just had a situation as a nurse with a patient,

724
00:52:39.800 --> 00:52:42.519
they tell their colleague or their friend who's also a

725
00:52:42.559 --> 00:52:45.760
student nurse, and they can kind of learn from that experience.

726
00:52:45.960 --> 00:52:50.199
I just thought that out loud, and I really pleased myself. Yeah,

727
00:52:50.400 --> 00:52:54.239
so chattings may be useful sometimes could be helpful for

728
00:52:54.360 --> 00:53:00.519
future patients. And they're always doing paperwork. I noticed that

729
00:53:00.559 --> 00:53:06.440
as well. It's constant because I kept interrupting people. But

730
00:53:09.480 --> 00:53:12.360
it was it got to three o'clock or just after

731
00:53:12.639 --> 00:53:15.880
maybe half three to half three, I can't remember exactly,

732
00:53:16.960 --> 00:53:19.320
And the nurse said to me, because I said, is

733
00:53:19.360 --> 00:53:22.760
a doctor coming around? Because I told her hours earlier

734
00:53:22.800 --> 00:53:25.119
that the doctor was going to come around because he

735
00:53:25.199 --> 00:53:26.000
had his blood test.

736
00:53:26.119 --> 00:53:26.760
Is that is.

737
00:53:29.079 --> 00:53:31.840
Cat scan done? So I guess we were waiting for

738
00:53:31.840 --> 00:53:35.480
the doctor to tell him the results of the cat scan.

739
00:53:35.639 --> 00:53:39.960
Maybe not the blood test, but the cat scan. And

740
00:53:40.079 --> 00:53:43.679
she said, no, he won't be seeing a doctor tomorrow properly,

741
00:53:45.760 --> 00:53:47.800
because I thought I was going to wait for him

742
00:53:47.800 --> 00:53:52.360
to see a doctor, either privately or with me there,

743
00:53:52.519 --> 00:53:57.039
whatever we wanted, and then be with him until he

744
00:53:57.079 --> 00:53:59.280
got into the ward, whatever ward he was going to

745
00:53:59.280 --> 00:54:02.440
be in, because it looked like they already said that

746
00:54:02.480 --> 00:54:05.320
he's going into a ward, he was not being sent home,

747
00:54:08.599 --> 00:54:13.239
and I, Oh, that's what I was going to do.

748
00:54:13.480 --> 00:54:18.800
I was so tired. I wasn't delusional, delusional, whatever you

749
00:54:18.840 --> 00:54:21.360
want to call it. I wasn't like tripping or anything,

750
00:54:21.400 --> 00:54:26.519
but that particular I know it's weird, but that particular morning,

751
00:54:27.000 --> 00:54:30.239
I woke up at three thirty in the morning. It's

752
00:54:30.280 --> 00:54:34.039
a really early morning. I don't normally wake up that early,

753
00:54:34.559 --> 00:54:36.639
but I got out of bed. I had had a

754
00:54:36.719 --> 00:54:42.800
nap during the day, but I'm normally in bed by ten,

755
00:54:43.599 --> 00:54:48.599
so to be awake at three thirty I was I

756
00:54:48.639 --> 00:54:51.760
felt like I was almost on another planet. You know.

757
00:54:52.920 --> 00:54:59.280
It was really strange. I felt very weird, and he

758
00:54:59.400 --> 00:55:02.920
wasn't tired, But then I wouldn't have been tired if

759
00:55:02.920 --> 00:55:10.000
I was in this situation either, So I was. But

760
00:55:10.079 --> 00:55:13.159
I was stimulated as well because I'm not used to

761
00:55:13.199 --> 00:55:18.239
being around people, not that many people whatever, really, you know,

762
00:55:18.360 --> 00:55:21.400
just in my life, I saw more people on Friday

763
00:55:21.480 --> 00:55:29.000
night than I've probably seen the last two years, as

764
00:55:29.199 --> 00:55:32.519
like amount of people, and that it was just in

765
00:55:32.639 --> 00:55:35.320
the evening. It's just a huge amounts of the people

766
00:55:35.519 --> 00:55:42.679
in the hospital, even when it's quiet. So the nurse

767
00:55:42.679 --> 00:55:45.519
said to me, you might as well go home. He's

768
00:55:45.559 --> 00:55:48.719
not going to be seen by a doctor tonight, very unlikely.

769
00:55:49.840 --> 00:55:51.519
It's free in the morning, but it probably won't be

770
00:55:51.519 --> 00:55:59.320
seen until Saturday during the day. And he very unlikely

771
00:55:59.320 --> 00:56:01.480
he's going to be put to a ward until tomorrow.

772
00:56:02.519 --> 00:56:04.559
But she was saying tomorrow, but you know Saturday, it

773
00:56:04.599 --> 00:56:09.199
was already Saturday, I guess early hours. So I told

774
00:56:09.280 --> 00:56:13.800
my friend, I said I'm going to go, and he said, okay.

775
00:56:13.960 --> 00:56:15.880
It said to me a few times ago, if you want,

776
00:56:16.800 --> 00:56:19.920
because I was yawning and like I was struggling to

777
00:56:20.000 --> 00:56:27.199
keep my eyes open by physically struggling a bit like now. Oh.

778
00:56:30.400 --> 00:56:41.960
So I left, got a taxi home, and I called

779
00:56:42.039 --> 00:56:47.159
him in the morning about ten o'clock Saturday. So I

780
00:56:47.199 --> 00:56:53.719
went to sleep. Was it ten o'clock? It probably was,

781
00:56:53.760 --> 00:56:56.480
because I went to sleep and I awoke. I couldn't

782
00:56:56.519 --> 00:56:59.599
go straight to sleep either, which is weird. Even though

783
00:56:59.599 --> 00:57:05.760
I was tired, I hadn't eaten anything for eight hours,

784
00:57:05.880 --> 00:57:09.519
nine hours, so I just needed to get some food

785
00:57:09.519 --> 00:57:13.000
in me. So I had some breakfast cereal, waited for

786
00:57:13.880 --> 00:57:16.440
half hour, forty minutes or whatever. Then I went to sleep.

787
00:57:16.760 --> 00:57:18.599
In fact, I didn't go to bed. I fell asleep

788
00:57:18.639 --> 00:57:21.280
on this chair here. I don't know if I was

789
00:57:21.320 --> 00:57:24.480
watching Telly, but I fell asleep and I woke up

790
00:57:24.840 --> 00:57:28.400
probably about eight or nine in the morning. So I

791
00:57:28.400 --> 00:57:32.320
put him made three hours four hours sleep. I called

792
00:57:32.360 --> 00:57:35.320
him up about ten and he told me he'd been

793
00:57:35.360 --> 00:57:39.280
moved and he had been seen by a doctor already.

794
00:57:40.679 --> 00:57:43.239
I said, wow, okay, so he's moved into a different

795
00:57:43.320 --> 00:57:46.480
ward and I said what did the doctor say? He said,

796
00:57:46.519 --> 00:57:48.639
it's not good. I said, okay, do you want to

797
00:57:48.679 --> 00:57:50.880
tell me now? You want me to come and visit

798
00:57:50.920 --> 00:57:51.760
you and tell me?

799
00:57:51.800 --> 00:57:51.920
Then?

800
00:57:52.000 --> 00:57:58.079
He said, well, i'll tell you in person. So I said,

801
00:57:58.800 --> 00:58:03.719
give me. I don't know when I went what time.

802
00:58:03.760 --> 00:58:06.440
I think, yeah, I left it at midday, So I said,

803
00:58:06.480 --> 00:58:09.480
give me, give me a couple of hours because I

804
00:58:10.199 --> 00:58:13.360
need to get ready, but head off. So I got

805
00:58:13.320 --> 00:58:19.000
a taxi there at midday and got there just four

806
00:58:19.000 --> 00:58:22.280
one o'clock I don't know, twenty to one or something.

807
00:58:23.960 --> 00:58:32.239
And so it was a new ward. He's on the

808
00:58:32.360 --> 00:58:36.559
left hand side, yeah, and he had someone opposite.

809
00:58:36.639 --> 00:58:36.719
Oh.

810
00:58:36.760 --> 00:58:40.280
Yeah, there was a bloke. I got chatting to one

811
00:58:40.320 --> 00:58:42.840
of the blokes that was the other side. There was

812
00:58:43.320 --> 00:58:48.320
two people waiting to go home basically, and he was

813
00:58:48.360 --> 00:58:54.920
in his He was just sitting there again, felt fine physically,

814
00:58:56.119 --> 00:58:59.880
and so told me what a doctor said. So I'm like, okay.

815
00:59:00.559 --> 00:59:03.679
So we started having some quite serious conversations and that,

816
00:59:05.239 --> 00:59:13.960
and so I'm there. I got home. I couldn't even

817
00:59:13.960 --> 00:59:16.519
tell you what time. I got home about seven o'clock

818
00:59:16.559 --> 00:59:26.519
in the evening. And there was there again Sunday. So

819
00:59:26.559 --> 00:59:32.960
I was leaving here probably I think probably midday again

820
00:59:33.039 --> 00:59:42.159
on Sunday, get home about six or seven Monday. I

821
00:59:42.280 --> 00:59:47.639
left at about twenty to ten quarter ten in the morning,

822
00:59:48.400 --> 00:59:55.920
got home about half six in the evening. That was Monday. Today,

823
00:59:57.440 --> 00:59:59.320
I tried to get a little bit earlier, so I

824
00:59:59.400 --> 01:00:03.760
left here about ten past nine. But I missed the bus.

825
01:00:04.519 --> 01:00:06.519
This because all the rest of the time I've been

826
01:00:06.519 --> 01:00:10.639
paying taxis and it's twenty pound per visit, twenty pound

827
01:00:10.679 --> 01:00:13.000
per trip, and I've been doing two trips a day,

828
01:00:13.760 --> 01:00:17.639
so one trip on Friday, two on Sunday, no one

829
01:00:17.679 --> 01:00:20.679
on Friday, two on Saturday, two on Sunday, and two

830
01:00:20.679 --> 01:00:26.360
on Monday. So today I had to get the bus.

831
01:00:26.480 --> 01:00:31.320
I really didn't have any choice. And it's a journey,

832
01:00:31.360 --> 01:00:37.119
it's sort of real journey. Becau's two buses, and I

833
01:00:37.239 --> 01:00:44.719
missed the bus. No. Yesterday I got the bus back. No,

834
01:00:44.800 --> 01:00:46.719
I didn't get I didn't use a taxi. I got

835
01:00:46.760 --> 01:00:52.119
a bus back, and it took me two hours from

836
01:00:52.159 --> 01:00:54.840
the hospital to my home. It takes two hours with

837
01:00:54.920 --> 01:00:59.599
two buses waiting and walking. It's two hours, which is

838
01:01:00.679 --> 01:01:04.320
kind of strange really, And so I got the bus

839
01:01:04.360 --> 01:01:07.360
a game today, missed the first bus, and then I

840
01:01:07.400 --> 01:01:11.079
missed the connection coming back. In fact, I didn't miss

841
01:01:11.079 --> 01:01:13.639
the connection. What happened is I got the bus back

842
01:01:13.679 --> 01:01:16.360
from the hospital to the track to the bus station.

843
01:01:18.000 --> 01:01:21.000
That bus station road was closed off, so the bus

844
01:01:21.039 --> 01:01:24.039
has had to do a detour. I was waiting for

845
01:01:24.079 --> 01:01:30.880
a specific bus there was. It didn't stop at the

846
01:01:30.920 --> 01:01:35.199
correct bus stop because there was I don't know why

847
01:01:35.639 --> 01:01:38.320
it didn't stop there. It went over and there's all

848
01:01:38.320 --> 01:01:40.119
these other buses in a way, so I'm following it

849
01:01:40.119 --> 01:01:42.760
to see where it's going to park. It parked further

850
01:01:42.800 --> 01:01:46.079
down the road, so I'm walking towards it, thinking it's

851
01:01:46.079 --> 01:01:47.920
going to open the doors and let people out, so

852
01:01:47.960 --> 01:01:51.280
people are going to wait to get in. No, it

853
01:01:51.400 --> 01:01:56.480
just drives off again. So I missed that bus. Then

854
01:01:56.519 --> 01:02:02.000
there's another bus which is going to the airport, but

855
01:02:02.039 --> 01:02:04.880
it does go past where I live, go past the

856
01:02:05.039 --> 01:02:12.360
estate chop a chopper chopper for proper, full of people

857
01:02:13.480 --> 01:02:17.599
all on their way to holiday. I guess, so suitcases

858
01:02:17.639 --> 01:02:21.000
and everything everywhere. And I managed to get on and

859
01:02:21.239 --> 01:02:25.519
to get a seat, which is okay, but it's very noisy.

860
01:02:25.880 --> 01:02:29.760
And now I guess people would excited they're on holiday.

861
01:02:29.760 --> 01:02:38.239
They just enjoy themselves. But it's yeah, it was anyway,

862
01:02:38.320 --> 01:02:41.639
I got home. That's the bottom nine. I got home.

863
01:02:43.320 --> 01:02:46.840
I didn't I didn't do a late one though, because

864
01:02:47.239 --> 01:02:52.159
I left to get there for ten and I told

865
01:02:52.199 --> 01:02:57.000
him that I can't leave video on his own for

866
01:02:57.079 --> 01:02:59.519
you know, seven eight hours a day. I can't. I

867
01:02:59.559 --> 01:03:02.400
can't keep doing that. It's just not fair on him

868
01:03:02.400 --> 01:03:06.360
because he's been unhappy. He's he's stopped eating his food.

869
01:03:07.960 --> 01:03:09.840
I literally I give him his food and his water,

870
01:03:10.679 --> 01:03:14.119
and he's got everything he needs. But he's in one room,

871
01:03:14.800 --> 01:03:16.639
like the living room. It's not it's not a tiny

872
01:03:16.719 --> 01:03:19.400
room or anything, but the windows are open, so he's

873
01:03:19.440 --> 01:03:21.760
got air ventilation. You can't get out, you can't get

874
01:03:21.800 --> 01:03:29.440
to the windows. TV's on or something. But it's too

875
01:03:29.519 --> 01:03:34.039
long for him, and he's now like rested. He's cuddled

876
01:03:34.079 --> 01:03:38.480
up to me and chilled out now because I got

877
01:03:38.480 --> 01:03:40.639
home a bit earlier, and I think it makes a difference.

878
01:03:41.199 --> 01:03:42.559
So I took him for a walk before I took

879
01:03:42.599 --> 01:03:47.679
him out. Today he's had three w a l k's.

880
01:03:47.719 --> 01:03:50.360
I just realized said the word. He said three today.

881
01:03:51.639 --> 01:03:54.480
He said A one normal one and one really short one.

882
01:03:54.760 --> 01:04:00.599
He said three normal length ones. So one before I

883
01:04:00.639 --> 01:04:11.440
went out. I was back by corter past two maybe

884
01:04:11.719 --> 01:04:16.679
half past two. So it worked. Even though I missed

885
01:04:16.679 --> 01:04:18.480
the bus and everything, I still managed to get back

886
01:04:18.519 --> 01:04:24.719
by half past two, and he didn't seem quite as

887
01:04:24.800 --> 01:04:28.599
stressed out as he was the last few days. So

888
01:04:28.719 --> 01:04:33.519
that taking off that four four odd hours more really

889
01:04:33.519 --> 01:04:37.239
seems to many difference. And I gave him some food

890
01:04:37.280 --> 01:04:41.320
and he's eating it. I gave him food yesterday. He

891
01:04:41.320 --> 01:04:43.760
wouldn't eat it. He didn't eat the food all day long.

892
01:04:43.840 --> 01:04:45.679
And the food I gave him, it wouldn't eat either.

893
01:04:48.480 --> 01:04:52.039
I mean on Saturday or Sunday, Sunday I think it was,

894
01:04:52.480 --> 01:04:55.800
or maybe Monday. I gave him his food and his water,

895
01:04:56.119 --> 01:04:58.519
and I gave him a t R E E E

896
01:04:58.519 --> 01:05:02.079
E T one of his favorite ones, and I put

897
01:05:02.119 --> 01:05:04.079
it down. He grabbed it and brought it in the

898
01:05:04.119 --> 01:05:07.800
hat into the room and then I close the door

899
01:05:07.840 --> 01:05:11.559
and he's just going bananas because he doesn't want me

900
01:05:11.599 --> 01:05:15.039
to leave. I come home, you know, eight nine hours

901
01:05:15.079 --> 01:05:19.639
later or whatever. The food's untouched. The tree's still on

902
01:05:19.679 --> 01:05:23.880
the floor, has not even touched the tree. So yeah,

903
01:05:24.199 --> 01:05:28.480
he's been a little bit affected. I Mean, the problem

904
01:05:28.480 --> 01:05:30.639
is I've never left him on his own, hardly or

905
01:05:31.239 --> 01:05:34.159
the whole time had him. It's been twenty four hours

906
01:05:34.159 --> 01:05:39.639
a day pretty much together. And there's been a couple

907
01:05:39.639 --> 01:05:41.960
of occasions where I've had to leave him for a

908
01:05:42.000 --> 01:05:46.320
few hours, but never more than a few hours. I

909
01:05:46.360 --> 01:05:49.880
think maybe four four hours, five hours at the most.

910
01:05:50.920 --> 01:05:53.800
It's you know, it's very it's rare. And this has

911
01:05:53.800 --> 01:05:57.159
been every day for four or four days, five days.

912
01:05:59.199 --> 01:06:00.960
But he seems to be a bit more chilled out

913
01:06:00.960 --> 01:06:04.239
today because I took him out. I had to sit

914
01:06:04.320 --> 01:06:07.239
down first because I was naked, and I took him

915
01:06:07.239 --> 01:06:10.800
out about quarter three, and then I took him out

916
01:06:10.800 --> 01:06:16.079
again about seven. So he's had he's been out and

917
01:06:16.119 --> 01:06:19.039
he's he's done all he needs to do out there.

918
01:06:19.280 --> 01:06:21.880
It's now dark, so it's probably about ten o'clock at night.

919
01:06:22.760 --> 01:06:25.360
And I don't feel so tired as well, because I

920
01:06:25.400 --> 01:06:27.360
had a nap when I got back here. I took

921
01:06:27.480 --> 01:06:29.639
him out. Then I had a nap about an hour

922
01:06:29.800 --> 01:06:34.559
hour and a half, and I think I woke up

923
01:06:34.559 --> 01:06:36.400
with I think maybe I went to bed about four,

924
01:06:37.119 --> 01:06:41.679
work up about six. I needed I needed to sleep

925
01:06:41.719 --> 01:06:46.800
because I was I was so tired, and I'm still

926
01:06:46.840 --> 01:06:50.840
tired enough to go to bed now, you know, because

927
01:06:50.840 --> 01:06:52.480
it's what it might be gone ten. I don't know

928
01:06:52.519 --> 01:06:55.079
how long I've been talking for. I started this about

929
01:06:55.159 --> 01:07:07.360
nine o'clock, very dull, so knackering. And what's really strange

930
01:07:08.360 --> 01:07:13.519
is my neighbor has started to talk about his life,

931
01:07:13.760 --> 01:07:18.000
which he never used to do. It's away about sport generally,

932
01:07:18.880 --> 01:07:22.079
and now he's we've been going out because he doesn't

933
01:07:22.119 --> 01:07:27.119
have to stay in the ward all the time. I mean,

934
01:07:27.400 --> 01:07:30.000
I mean legally he can do whatever he wants. He

935
01:07:30.039 --> 01:07:32.440
doesn't have to stay in the ward ever. You know,

936
01:07:32.719 --> 01:07:34.400
he can come and go and do what he wants.

937
01:07:34.440 --> 01:07:37.280
But you know, as far as from a medical perspective,

938
01:07:37.639 --> 01:07:41.000
as long as he lets them know, and if he's

939
01:07:41.039 --> 01:07:43.480
got a doctor on the way, then he stays. You know,

940
01:07:43.480 --> 01:07:45.480
they say, well can you wait until if the doctor's

941
01:07:45.480 --> 01:07:48.679
seen you? And he needs to be there when they're

942
01:07:48.679 --> 01:07:50.960
doing the meals as well, because otherwise it messes it

943
01:07:51.000 --> 01:07:55.519
up with other people. So outside of that, for the

944
01:07:55.599 --> 01:07:59.519
last three days or I think Sunday Monday tune. Yeah,

945
01:07:59.559 --> 01:08:02.760
the last three days, maybe Saturday as well, we've been

946
01:08:02.840 --> 01:08:05.239
going out for a walk and we'll be gone outside

947
01:08:05.360 --> 01:08:09.000
and sat down and yes, Saturday, Sunday money and show

948
01:08:09.639 --> 01:08:17.399
all four days. Which is weird because yesterday we were

949
01:08:17.439 --> 01:08:21.199
sitting at this bench and a duck started pecking at

950
01:08:21.239 --> 01:08:25.600
my grain, and for a second I thought it was Vinnie.

951
01:08:27.279 --> 01:08:28.960
It's because I'm so used to having him with me.

952
01:08:29.239 --> 01:08:32.279
I'm not saying that Vinnie pecks at my grain. But

953
01:08:32.560 --> 01:08:36.159
just if there's movement in my pants, this sounds wrong.

954
01:08:41.119 --> 01:08:44.079
There's movement in my pants, I assume it's Vinnie. No,

955
01:08:44.920 --> 01:08:51.199
if you know I'm used to him, like rubbing up

956
01:08:51.199 --> 01:08:53.760
against me. Again, that sounds wrong. You know the things

957
01:08:53.800 --> 01:08:56.119
like lick it. No, that sounds wrong as well. Just

958
01:08:56.640 --> 01:08:59.920
you know, him doing his thing like jumping on me,

959
01:09:00.279 --> 01:09:04.920
or laying down and cuddling up to my feet or

960
01:09:05.960 --> 01:09:08.039
just think or walking on my feet, stuff like that,

961
01:09:09.239 --> 01:09:13.680
or you know. So it was weird because I nearly said,

962
01:09:13.720 --> 01:09:15.880
of any what are you doing? I looked down. It

963
01:09:16.000 --> 01:09:18.720
was this duck looking up at me and he's pecking

964
01:09:18.760 --> 01:09:26.560
at me pits gently, very gentle lover. Well, to be honest,

965
01:09:26.760 --> 01:09:29.359
very I'm glad because they've got those big old bags.

966
01:09:29.399 --> 01:09:32.840
They could imagine they could cause problems, but he didn't.

967
01:09:34.279 --> 01:09:39.159
It was very lovely. His name is Cyril. We got

968
01:09:39.199 --> 01:09:43.560
on quite well. We swapped numbers. You know, we're going

969
01:09:43.600 --> 01:09:44.439
to see how it goes.

970
01:09:45.880 --> 01:09:46.880
So I.

971
01:09:48.960 --> 01:09:53.079
He's been talking and he's been opening up, and he's

972
01:09:53.079 --> 01:09:55.840
been asking me about me, which he never normally does,

973
01:09:56.560 --> 01:10:00.000
asking me about my childhood, talking about his own childhood.

974
01:10:01.680 --> 01:10:06.319
And I'm not sure if he ever saw me as

975
01:10:06.319 --> 01:10:09.800
a human before. I don't know if you ever saw

976
01:10:09.880 --> 01:10:13.800
me as a person just a neighbor, well, I don't think.

977
01:10:13.840 --> 01:10:17.479
I'm not sure if he saw me as a I

978
01:10:17.560 --> 01:10:20.960
don't know, as a person with feelings and or had

979
01:10:21.000 --> 01:10:24.439
any interest. But I understand that because I'm a bit

980
01:10:24.560 --> 01:10:30.000
like that myself. But then, you know, he's never really

981
01:10:30.079 --> 01:10:32.720
talks about his life normally. It's just all about sport,

982
01:10:33.159 --> 01:10:35.760
and I get bored. I tell him, I don't pretend.

983
01:10:35.920 --> 01:10:39.079
I tell him I'm not interested in hearing about football.

984
01:10:40.279 --> 01:10:42.720
I says, boring to me. It's not boring to you.

985
01:10:42.840 --> 01:10:45.399
It's not boring to most people, but to me, I

986
01:10:45.640 --> 01:10:51.319
switch off if you. I like talking about boxing, but

987
01:10:51.560 --> 01:10:53.760
generally I only like talking about boxing to people that

988
01:10:53.880 --> 01:10:59.800
know about boxing, because I would probably say that I'm

989
01:10:59.840 --> 01:11:04.119
more more than a casual fan of boxing, you know,

990
01:11:04.239 --> 01:11:08.600
it's it's something that I really have loved for decades.

991
01:11:10.239 --> 01:11:13.319
I sound probably more than just a I don't just

992
01:11:13.479 --> 01:11:18.800
watch the big fights, although they are the best fights

993
01:11:18.880 --> 01:11:26.039
quite often, but not always actually anyway, So that's a

994
01:11:26.119 --> 01:11:33.399
lot really about boxing. Is that this recorded, and I've

995
01:11:33.439 --> 01:11:39.000
done made a few faux pas along the way. So

996
01:11:39.119 --> 01:11:41.720
I was taken my going to take my friend outside,

997
01:11:41.760 --> 01:11:45.119
and I said to his neighbor, oh, yeah, he got

998
01:11:45.239 --> 01:11:53.520
moved to another award on Monday morning, I think or

999
01:11:53.720 --> 01:11:56.399
Sunday morning Monday. I losing track of the days, to

1000
01:11:56.479 --> 01:11:59.079
be honest, I think it might have been Sunday morning

1001
01:11:59.359 --> 01:12:03.600
and he got moved because there was someone's starting and

1002
01:12:04.319 --> 01:12:08.600
may being problematic with him. I don't know really what

1003
01:12:08.720 --> 01:12:09.279
that was about.

1004
01:12:10.600 --> 01:12:15.359
And so we.

1005
01:12:20.000 --> 01:12:21.399
It's quite funny. I said, did you want me to

1006
01:12:21.439 --> 01:12:22.840
go and visit him? And go and then the world

1007
01:12:23.600 --> 01:12:26.640
because it because they basically moved my neighbor, not the bloke,

1008
01:12:27.680 --> 01:12:30.199
And he said no, you laughed. But then we were

1009
01:12:30.199 --> 01:12:31.840
out for a walk he said, are we going to

1010
01:12:31.920 --> 01:12:35.560
go and see that bloke? I was like, no, I

1011
01:12:35.640 --> 01:12:41.000
didn't mean it. I said, look, I think it's really

1012
01:12:41.119 --> 01:12:48.680
worth remembering that not people react differently to being unwell,

1013
01:12:49.000 --> 01:12:52.960
you know, and some people are very patient, some people

1014
01:12:53.800 --> 01:12:58.920
are not, some people have you know, it's just it's

1015
01:12:59.039 --> 01:13:02.359
no way of different. We all react different and and

1016
01:13:02.479 --> 01:13:06.119
I try to just like say to everyone in the beds.

1017
01:13:06.840 --> 01:13:14.920
Every bed apart from Mabe were most beds. I mean,

1018
01:13:15.039 --> 01:13:20.960
I'm sure places like the Baby Paternal Maternity ward there's

1019
01:13:21.000 --> 01:13:23.800
a lot of pretty a lot of very happy people

1020
01:13:24.840 --> 01:13:29.000
in those beds. I'm guessing after giving birth. I don't know,

1021
01:13:29.000 --> 01:13:33.359
I've never I've never had a baby. But outside of that,

1022
01:13:38.680 --> 01:13:43.000
saying to him like, no one's here because I want

1023
01:13:43.039 --> 01:13:47.680
to be here, and that everyone is in those beds

1024
01:13:47.880 --> 01:13:52.000
are unwell. So it's got to just need to just

1025
01:13:52.199 --> 01:13:56.239
try and give everyone a break if you can. Don't

1026
01:13:56.279 --> 01:14:00.600
take it too personally. I think I've been quite lucky

1027
01:14:00.680 --> 01:14:04.680
in life in a sense of I've done some jobs

1028
01:14:04.720 --> 01:14:09.920
which have involved a lot of rejection. That's sales. Sales

1029
01:14:10.039 --> 01:14:14.039
is one job where it doesn't matter how good you are, rejections.

1030
01:14:14.920 --> 01:14:19.520
The majority, you know, is people saying no most of

1031
01:14:19.600 --> 01:14:24.600
the time. And I kind of got used to that.

1032
01:14:25.000 --> 01:14:28.199
And also being in a working a call center, I

1033
01:14:28.279 --> 01:14:31.159
got used to a lot of very rude people as well,

1034
01:14:33.079 --> 01:14:36.720
and I kind of become accustomed to it. And then

1035
01:14:36.760 --> 01:14:39.600
when I became a counselor, I've got to find out

1036
01:14:39.880 --> 01:14:42.920
a lot of what people are going through behind the

1037
01:14:43.039 --> 01:14:49.000
scenes as humans. That is not you know, because I've

1038
01:14:49.079 --> 01:14:50.920
kind of got my own experiences and I've got that

1039
01:14:51.159 --> 01:14:57.279
to work with. But then hearing in depth hundreds of

1040
01:14:57.319 --> 01:15:01.479
other people's experiences over i know, five years or whatever

1041
01:15:01.560 --> 01:15:05.880
I was a counselor, that was like, wow, it was

1042
01:15:06.520 --> 01:15:12.760
very educational, I guess. So I think with those experiences

1043
01:15:13.319 --> 01:15:19.560
mixed together, I'm kind of able to look at situations

1044
01:15:20.399 --> 01:15:23.479
from different angles. And I'm not saying I do it

1045
01:15:23.600 --> 01:15:32.319
well because sometimes I really don't. Yeah, I'm not always perfect.

1046
01:15:33.560 --> 01:15:36.960
I'm never perfect. I don't even I don't even want

1047
01:15:37.000 --> 01:15:43.520
to be perfect, never really, I think being decent. I

1048
01:15:43.720 --> 01:15:50.439
like to be known as kind, and that's but naturally kind,

1049
01:15:50.560 --> 01:15:54.319
not doing it for any other reason, not doing it

1050
01:15:54.359 --> 01:15:57.600
because I want attention or because I want people to think,

1051
01:15:57.800 --> 01:16:03.640
oh he is so kind, not not that, not not

1052
01:16:04.239 --> 01:16:11.800
like that, but just genuine like a decent person. But

1053
01:16:12.000 --> 01:16:19.159
not perfect because it's easy. It's only one way to go.

1054
01:16:19.279 --> 01:16:21.560
Once you're perfect, you can't go any higher up ken you.

1055
01:16:22.439 --> 01:16:34.680
So I'd rather just I'd rather kind of surf surf

1056
01:16:34.760 --> 01:16:42.680
in the middle somewhere possibly And yeah, anyway, I said

1057
01:16:42.680 --> 01:16:46.960
to this, his his neighbor who's in the ward. So

1058
01:16:47.000 --> 01:16:51.039
I've got to talking to two of the people because

1059
01:16:51.079 --> 01:16:54.039
he's now an award with four people. One of the

1060
01:16:54.079 --> 01:16:58.279
people doesn't talk to me, but admit that he can't anyway,

1061
01:16:58.399 --> 01:17:07.600
So he's he he's very not very unwell, so but

1062
01:17:07.760 --> 01:17:09.680
he does talk to the other day. They've all got

1063
01:17:09.720 --> 01:17:11.039
to know a little bit because they're in the same

1064
01:17:11.119 --> 01:17:13.720
room with him twenty four hours a day. But he's

1065
01:17:14.000 --> 01:17:17.279
his why usually there when I go there, So I

1066
01:17:17.359 --> 01:17:20.880
say lo to her, But the two other blokes in

1067
01:17:21.000 --> 01:17:24.279
there got chatting to him. They know my name and everything,

1068
01:17:25.520 --> 01:17:30.640
and so I've been starting to go and get coffees

1069
01:17:30.680 --> 01:17:32.439
for them and sort of saying do you need anything?

1070
01:17:32.560 --> 01:17:37.479
And it turns out neither of them are allowed to

1071
01:17:37.560 --> 01:17:46.520
leave the ward, but my neighbor can, so it's like

1072
01:17:46.800 --> 01:17:53.640
for medical reasons. And I really put my foot in it.

1073
01:17:54.920 --> 01:17:57.960
So I said to the blokes in the bed next

1074
01:17:58.000 --> 01:18:00.840
to my neighbor, I said, well, if you fancy it,

1075
01:18:03.479 --> 01:18:05.520
you come in comfort walk with us if you want

1076
01:18:05.600 --> 01:18:07.800
if you want to get out, because he hadn't ed

1077
01:18:07.840 --> 01:18:11.880
any visitors for a day or so, and he said no,

1078
01:18:12.000 --> 01:18:14.760
I can't. I said, what's up to you if you

1079
01:18:15.079 --> 01:18:16.880
be up to you if you don't want to. He said, no,

1080
01:18:17.000 --> 01:18:23.119
I can't walk. I'm so sorry, he laughed. He said, no,

1081
01:18:23.399 --> 01:18:26.399
you didn't know digit because I've only seen him in

1082
01:18:26.479 --> 01:18:29.039
the bed. I had no idea that he wasn't able

1083
01:18:29.079 --> 01:18:33.840
to walk. And I said, well if you if you

1084
01:18:33.920 --> 01:18:36.399
want to get a chair, I'm happy to push you down,

1085
01:18:37.199 --> 01:18:39.479
you know, And he said, no, I'm not allowed out.

1086
01:18:39.840 --> 01:18:40.119
Okay.

1087
01:18:42.000 --> 01:18:43.560
I think there's a bit of rejection. I think he

1088
01:18:43.720 --> 01:18:47.560
just I'm not saying he's pretending, but he might be

1089
01:18:47.640 --> 01:18:49.760
pretending he's not allowed to leave. I mean, that's what

1090
01:18:49.840 --> 01:18:57.359
I mean. He's perhaps I'm boring him, but he's a

1091
01:18:57.479 --> 01:19:00.720
nice bloke and you're one not. Position asked me, can

1092
01:19:00.760 --> 01:19:05.680
you take me out? And I said, well, when you

1093
01:19:05.800 --> 01:19:08.520
release from hospital, we can perhaps go for a drink.

1094
01:19:08.800 --> 01:19:11.039
He said no, no, I want Can you just help

1095
01:19:11.119 --> 01:19:14.359
me go outside? I said, okay, sorry, I was embarrassing.

1096
01:19:15.439 --> 01:19:19.479
And he said to me, why do you do that?

1097
01:19:19.680 --> 01:19:21.760
I said, what do you mean? He said, why do

1098
01:19:21.840 --> 01:19:25.119
you like going about like all having dates with men

1099
01:19:25.359 --> 01:19:30.920
when you do you like women? I said, so, he said,

1100
01:19:31.840 --> 01:19:36.079
it just seems a weird thing to do. I said why.

1101
01:19:36.439 --> 01:19:40.399
He said, just I don't know. Just a lot of

1102
01:19:40.479 --> 01:19:44.520
straight people don't say things like that, you know. I said, well,

1103
01:19:44.720 --> 01:19:47.720
I'm not a lot of straight people. But he said

1104
01:19:47.760 --> 01:19:51.159
that doesn't make sense. I said, I know, nothing does.

1105
01:19:53.239 --> 01:19:55.720
And then we all just like looked at each other

1106
01:19:58.199 --> 01:20:00.359
and like that moment, you know that my where you

1107
01:20:00.399 --> 01:20:05.239
all realize that's true. Nothing really does make sense, does it.

1108
01:20:05.880 --> 01:20:10.439
If you really like delve into it, it's like okay, wow.

1109
01:20:11.920 --> 01:20:15.239
So anyway, and then I just I did a little

1110
01:20:15.359 --> 01:20:21.000
dance again. I thought that should have done that the

1111
01:20:21.159 --> 01:20:23.319
last thing. If someone tells you they can't walk, you

1112
01:20:23.359 --> 01:20:25.800
don't start dancing in front of them. That's kind of

1113
01:20:25.960 --> 01:20:29.439
just I wasn't doing it for that reason. I was

1114
01:20:29.560 --> 01:20:32.159
just I just had a bit of nervous energy.

1115
01:20:33.000 --> 01:20:33.159
You know.

1116
01:20:33.960 --> 01:20:37.039
It was strange. But he forgave me anyway. So I

1117
01:20:37.159 --> 01:20:39.680
was kind of like, I can't believe. I just said,

1118
01:20:39.720 --> 01:20:42.600
do you want to go for a walk? And he said, yeah,

1119
01:20:42.600 --> 01:20:44.880
I'm not a dog as well, just don't don't don't

1120
01:20:44.880 --> 01:20:46.119
put it in that word. Do you want to go

1121
01:20:46.199 --> 01:20:47.640
for a walk? Can I take you for a walk?

1122
01:20:48.960 --> 01:20:50.800
I said, I didn't say that today. He said, yeah,

1123
01:20:50.840 --> 01:20:53.319
you did. He said another thing. I said, what's that?

1124
01:20:53.880 --> 01:20:55.840
He said, When you do that, don't hold a dog

1125
01:20:55.960 --> 01:20:59.439
lead in your hand, and don't say good boy, good

1126
01:20:59.479 --> 01:21:05.239
but good boy, and don't call me Vinnie. I was like, okay, sorry,

1127
01:21:06.319 --> 01:21:10.760
I miss him. The other bloke, he said, they're not

1128
01:21:10.840 --> 01:21:16.560
taking me outside. I said okay, and been here since

1129
01:21:18.760 --> 01:21:22.560
I don't know. He's been there for five days, six days,

1130
01:21:23.000 --> 01:21:26.520
five days and he's not been outside since he's been there.

1131
01:21:27.399 --> 01:21:30.079
And I went to the reception. I said, can I

1132
01:21:30.159 --> 01:21:31.079
take what's his name?

1133
01:21:31.159 --> 01:21:31.319
Out?

1134
01:21:31.840 --> 01:21:35.079
He's asked me and she said no. I said, I'll

1135
01:21:35.119 --> 01:21:39.199
go on. She said no. I said please. She said no.

1136
01:21:39.640 --> 01:21:41.359
I said, is that all you can say? Just no?

1137
01:21:41.960 --> 01:21:45.520
She said no. That's when I realized that she could

1138
01:21:45.560 --> 01:21:47.760
say other things, and I thought maybe she might. I

1139
01:21:47.960 --> 01:21:51.600
just figured she'd won the argument, really, And she said

1140
01:21:51.600 --> 01:21:54.239
the reason that he can't go out is because he

1141
01:21:54.359 --> 01:21:57.840
needs a medically trained person with him. Are you medically trained?

1142
01:21:57.960 --> 01:22:01.000
And I said yes. If she said are you really,

1143
01:22:01.119 --> 01:22:03.680
I said no, I'm not. She said why did you

1144
01:22:03.760 --> 01:22:08.279
say yes? So I thought maybe you believe me? I said,

1145
01:22:08.279 --> 01:22:10.760
why didn't you just stick to your stick to your guns?

1146
01:22:10.800 --> 01:22:13.800
And if you say yes, Why did you say yes twice?

1147
01:22:13.880 --> 01:22:20.239
I said, because I didn't think you believed me. Ah,

1148
01:22:20.800 --> 01:22:25.439
it was weird. So she said no. But I did

1149
01:22:25.600 --> 01:22:27.920
say to her, if you need someone to take him out,

1150
01:22:27.920 --> 01:22:30.199
I'm happy to take him out or any of the

1151
01:22:30.279 --> 01:22:35.159
other people, either with my neighbor or separately. I don't care.

1152
01:22:36.119 --> 01:22:38.359
I'm you know, while I'm here, I'm happy to be useful,

1153
01:22:40.279 --> 01:22:44.319
which is a weird, weird thing. I'd rather do something

1154
01:22:44.399 --> 01:22:48.359
than just not do anything, not in life, but just

1155
01:22:48.720 --> 01:22:51.520
in a hospital setting, because I see this so much,

1156
01:22:53.199 --> 01:22:58.319
so many people working so hard, and I kind of like,

1157
01:22:58.439 --> 01:23:03.399
for example, the man next to my neighbor, he asked

1158
01:23:03.479 --> 01:23:07.199
one of the nurses or I don't think the nurse

1159
01:23:07.399 --> 01:23:12.039
or care I don't know the different workers and they

1160
01:23:12.119 --> 01:23:15.159
in hospital if you could get a bag because had

1161
01:23:15.159 --> 01:23:17.479
a lot of rubbish on has been on his table,

1162
01:23:18.279 --> 01:23:19.680
and I said, I can get rid of that for you.

1163
01:23:20.399 --> 01:23:23.479
Just something binzos over there. I'll just take it bit

1164
01:23:23.560 --> 01:23:28.760
by bit. So I emptied his table and he seemed

1165
01:23:28.800 --> 01:23:37.199
surprised I did that. It's no difference to me. And yeah,

1166
01:23:37.479 --> 01:23:44.439
just she was like, is a heo if you look

1167
01:23:44.640 --> 01:23:47.920
inside your pants, it's I don't know, why I say that.

1168
01:23:49.119 --> 01:23:51.279
I'm not saying this so like, oh, how good I am?

1169
01:23:51.439 --> 01:23:54.520
I emptied someone's table. It's not I don't think that's

1170
01:23:54.560 --> 01:23:58.239
going to be my epitaph, is it. It was a

1171
01:23:58.279 --> 01:24:02.439
bit annoying, but he did empty people's tables. They didn't

1172
01:24:02.479 --> 01:24:05.359
want him to. This is to walk randomly around hospitals

1173
01:24:05.439 --> 01:24:09.439
and put people's stuff in the bin. It was very annoying.

1174
01:24:11.600 --> 01:24:17.199
And yeah, so I'm trying to think of any other

1175
01:24:17.279 --> 01:24:21.960
weird things that have happened since I was one. Weird

1176
01:24:22.000 --> 01:24:27.800
occasion is older than taxi. No, this is this is weird. Yeah,

1177
01:24:28.119 --> 01:24:32.880
ordered taxi and I did it. It's got like this

1178
01:24:33.079 --> 01:24:38.640
automatic auto system. And at the end of it, they

1179
01:24:38.640 --> 01:24:40.720
couldn't even understand what I was saying. But at the

1180
01:24:40.800 --> 01:24:44.600
end of it, they said, so picking you up from

1181
01:24:44.720 --> 01:24:48.119
your address and delivering you back to your address my

1182
01:24:48.199 --> 01:24:52.119
home address, and I wanted to pick me up the

1183
01:24:52.159 --> 01:24:55.800
hospital and take me to my address. So they were

1184
01:24:55.840 --> 01:24:57.359
going to pick me up and drop me off at

1185
01:24:57.399 --> 01:25:03.000
the same place. Think that like caused some kind of

1186
01:25:03.039 --> 01:25:04.479
an error in the system, wouldn't you.

1187
01:25:05.840 --> 01:25:06.279
But n.

1188
01:25:08.880 --> 01:25:11.800
So I phoned them up again, and as I phoned

1189
01:25:11.800 --> 01:25:14.520
them up, they phoned me up. So I hung up,

1190
01:25:14.600 --> 01:25:17.800
answered the phone that they were calling me, and I said,

1191
01:25:18.560 --> 01:25:21.039
she said, oh, is that whatever? I said, yeah, you

1192
01:25:21.159 --> 01:25:23.119
made a book and I said yeah, and I was

1193
01:25:23.159 --> 01:25:27.960
about to explain, and she said, oh wait it was.

1194
01:25:28.359 --> 01:25:31.079
She didn't say I'm talking, but it was kind of

1195
01:25:31.159 --> 01:25:35.119
that attitude like, wait a minute, let me finish. So

1196
01:25:36.359 --> 01:25:38.319
she went on and on and said she said, so

1197
01:25:38.439 --> 01:25:40.760
you don't want to be picked up from that address

1198
01:25:40.840 --> 01:25:43.279
and I said no. She said, okay, I'll cancel it them,

1199
01:25:44.760 --> 01:25:47.760
and I don't explained to her. I was at the

1200
01:25:47.800 --> 01:25:49.680
hospital and I wanted to go there from the hospital.

1201
01:25:51.000 --> 01:25:54.880
I assumed that by telling her that that she would

1202
01:25:54.920 --> 01:26:03.000
send me a taxi. No, she canceled the taxi all together.

1203
01:26:04.680 --> 01:26:07.359
So I'm waiting for half an hour. Nothing comes. I

1204
01:26:07.520 --> 01:26:10.439
phone up the taxi office again, this time I speak

1205
01:26:10.479 --> 01:26:14.079
to somewhat different and they say, oh, you know, it's canceled.

1206
01:26:16.000 --> 01:26:22.039
I said okay, And he was surprised that it was

1207
01:26:22.119 --> 01:26:25.880
canceled and they didn't send me a taxi, and so

1208
01:26:25.920 --> 01:26:29.159
he said, I'll get someone with you now. So probably

1209
01:26:29.159 --> 01:26:31.239
about another fifteen to twenty minutes and I've got a

1210
01:26:31.319 --> 01:26:36.000
taxi turn up, and I might be exaggerating the timescale

1211
01:26:36.079 --> 01:26:39.600
here for effect. I don't know what type of effect,

1212
01:26:39.760 --> 01:26:47.239
to be honest, a boring effect. So he pulls up

1213
01:26:48.600 --> 01:26:51.279
and I don't know, he doesn't like look the way.

1214
01:26:51.279 --> 01:26:54.920
He didn't know me anyway, but he parked up, and

1215
01:26:55.039 --> 01:26:58.800
he didn't seem to be indicate who's for because there

1216
01:26:58.880 --> 01:27:04.600
was always people waiting for taxis. So I went to

1217
01:27:05.439 --> 01:27:08.960
where his stories, you know, where he was sitting in

1218
01:27:09.119 --> 01:27:12.680
the car. It was definitely from the company i'd ordered,

1219
01:27:12.720 --> 01:27:16.119
but it could have been for anyone. And I said,

1220
01:27:16.960 --> 01:27:22.600
are you here for Jason? He said yeah, be a

1221
01:27:22.680 --> 01:27:25.239
weird look on his face. I said, all right. He

1222
01:27:25.319 --> 01:27:29.319
said no, I can't go anywhere at the moment, I

1223
01:27:29.399 --> 01:27:34.399
said why not? And he pointed to the screen which

1224
01:27:34.600 --> 01:27:38.039
was the payment thing, and they said, they're telling me

1225
01:27:38.079 --> 01:27:41.600
the journey is going to be seven pound. I'm not

1226
01:27:41.720 --> 01:27:46.520
taking you all away there for seven pound, and it's

1227
01:27:46.520 --> 01:27:50.000
actually seventeen pound. I'll give a three pound tip. But

1228
01:27:50.960 --> 01:27:53.520
so they'd missed out the ten pound. So what they've

1229
01:27:53.560 --> 01:27:58.079
done is they'd put on the same thing where it

1230
01:27:58.239 --> 01:28:00.880
was the same price as the original journey. So what

1231
01:28:01.000 --> 01:28:04.520
they had charged me to pick me up and drop

1232
01:28:04.600 --> 01:28:09.920
me off at the same address was seven pounds. Why

1233
01:28:10.000 --> 01:28:11.640
would you want to be picked up and dropped? I

1234
01:28:11.720 --> 01:28:15.199
mean literally picked up? So you get in a car,

1235
01:28:16.159 --> 01:28:18.159
give them seven pounds and then you get out in

1236
01:28:18.199 --> 01:28:21.079
the car again out of the taxi. I mean, why

1237
01:28:22.000 --> 01:28:25.920
unless you're the only time I've seen anyone get into

1238
01:28:25.960 --> 01:28:28.159
a car and didn't get straight out again. And I

1239
01:28:28.239 --> 01:28:32.760
think this was a taxi. It was Superman movie like

1240
01:28:33.439 --> 01:28:37.000
in the late seventies. He gets in a taxi and

1241
01:28:37.079 --> 01:28:39.199
gets out the other side and he's Superman goes in

1242
01:28:39.319 --> 01:28:42.840
Clark Kent, and I think there's a taxi was at

1243
01:28:42.880 --> 01:28:46.880
police that might be in a police car. That was

1244
01:28:46.920 --> 01:28:49.119
a bit a bit rude though if it was a

1245
01:28:49.159 --> 01:28:53.880
police car, a bit rude any car really, isn't it.

1246
01:28:57.319 --> 01:29:00.960
And he said, we're not going anywhere. I'm not taking

1247
01:29:01.039 --> 01:29:04.199
anyone anywhere until I get the proper price. And I

1248
01:29:04.279 --> 01:29:07.720
said to him, look, it's seventeen pound. I'm paying you

1249
01:29:07.800 --> 01:29:10.479
twenty pound anyway, and he said, oh, I'll get in there.

1250
01:29:11.720 --> 01:29:14.000
I said, you know, there's no argument on my side.

1251
01:29:14.039 --> 01:29:17.119
I'm too tired to argue, and I know that it's

1252
01:29:17.199 --> 01:29:20.600
not seven pound. I've done the journey since well I've

1253
01:29:20.640 --> 01:29:24.920
done it. I think I've done it four times at

1254
01:29:24.920 --> 01:29:35.039
that point, and he just halfway through the journey, the

1255
01:29:35.079 --> 01:29:38.840
office called him up and he explained the situation and

1256
01:29:40.039 --> 01:29:42.279
they said, oh, they didn't know what was going on,

1257
01:29:42.359 --> 01:29:50.800
and eventually they they changed it. They changed it to

1258
01:29:51.159 --> 01:29:57.279
it came up properly at seventeen. But it's like I

1259
01:29:57.319 --> 01:30:00.800
couldn't wait around. I was like, I want really because

1260
01:30:00.800 --> 01:30:04.840
when he charge me waiting time, that's what I was thinking.

1261
01:30:04.960 --> 01:30:07.680
Is he going to charge me waiting time because he's

1262
01:30:07.760 --> 01:30:14.600
waiting on the proper price. I don't know, but it was.

1263
01:30:14.920 --> 01:30:16.960
It was a cool bloke, so it was that was

1264
01:30:17.199 --> 01:30:22.319
an easy situation too to change or to a remedy.

1265
01:30:26.399 --> 01:30:31.079
And so basically, you know, my friend's under observation. It's

1266
01:30:31.159 --> 01:30:37.640
got things you know, going to be observed, et cetera.

1267
01:30:40.920 --> 01:30:46.720
But going back and forward is really really connected me

1268
01:30:47.920 --> 01:30:54.720
really in a way that I'm surprised at. I kind

1269
01:30:54.720 --> 01:31:01.439
of just didn't expect it, to be honest. I managed

1270
01:31:01.479 --> 01:31:06.000
to get my prescription, which is good on the way

1271
01:31:06.960 --> 01:31:15.479
and had a weird experience today. I went into because

1272
01:31:15.479 --> 01:31:18.920
they've got a W. H. Smiths, They've got a Costa

1273
01:31:19.000 --> 01:31:27.079
Coffee in the hospital. There's a a supermarket in Marks

1274
01:31:27.159 --> 01:31:32.920
and Spencer's. I think, yeah, there's two Costa coffees, actually

1275
01:31:34.520 --> 01:31:36.640
one small one and one larger one where you can

1276
01:31:36.760 --> 01:31:40.720
eat like you can sit down. So I go into

1277
01:31:41.680 --> 01:31:44.439
w A Smith as well. So I go into Marks

1278
01:31:44.479 --> 01:31:47.560
and Spencer's. I get some milk because I've got no

1279
01:31:47.680 --> 01:31:53.920
milk at home for my breakfast in the morning, and

1280
01:31:54.039 --> 01:32:00.319
I realized I've got very little breakfast cereal. Ever, I'm

1281
01:32:00.359 --> 01:32:02.960
looking for the breakfast cereal and what I've noticed in

1282
01:32:03.319 --> 01:32:08.079
this Marks and Spenser's it's just maybe it's the same,

1283
01:32:09.760 --> 01:32:11.720
maybe it's always the same. I haven't been in Marx

1284
01:32:11.720 --> 01:32:16.920
Suspenser's for years, but everything's home brand. There's no like

1285
01:32:17.119 --> 01:32:21.479
norm branded stuff. It's just Mark Suspenser stuff. Perhaps that's

1286
01:32:21.560 --> 01:32:28.319
the norm because you know things like Sainsbury's they have

1287
01:32:28.479 --> 01:32:32.359
their own brand, but they also sell popular brands as well.

1288
01:32:33.680 --> 01:32:37.039
Maybe Mark sus Spencer's don't do that, but I thought

1289
01:32:37.079 --> 01:32:41.760
they did. I thought they sold both. Hm, I'm not

1290
01:32:41.920 --> 01:32:46.479
sure anyway, this one doesn't seem to. So I'm looking

1291
01:32:46.640 --> 01:32:50.399
for maybe just some some corn flakes or something like that,

1292
01:32:53.039 --> 01:32:55.159
and I end up in this corner where they've got

1293
01:32:56.079 --> 01:33:02.960
Marks Suspencer's home brand. This gets like weird BIS, and

1294
01:33:03.079 --> 01:33:05.960
I think another one is like Mooseley something like that.

1295
01:33:07.520 --> 01:33:12.319
But there's this smell. It's not an it's not it's

1296
01:33:12.359 --> 01:33:15.439
not a horrible smell or anything, but it's like a

1297
01:33:15.760 --> 01:33:26.880
foody kind of smell. It's felt very familiar, but from

1298
01:33:26.960 --> 01:33:31.880
the past. It's very strange. I had a very unusual

1299
01:33:31.960 --> 01:33:38.600
feeling like I smelled that before, but it's a long, long,

1300
01:33:38.880 --> 01:33:43.119
long time ago. And I just stood there for a

1301
01:33:43.199 --> 01:33:54.479
second just thinking, hm hmm, how strange. In fact, when

1302
01:33:54.520 --> 01:33:56.159
I visit next time, I might go in there and

1303
01:33:56.279 --> 01:34:01.079
just have a little sniff again. It's a little like hm,

1304
01:34:02.960 --> 01:34:05.359
because it's going to bug me. I kind of want

1305
01:34:05.399 --> 01:34:11.039
to know what that reminds me of, because it it

1306
01:34:11.159 --> 01:34:17.399
was emotions connect to it, emotions connect to it, emotions

1307
01:34:17.479 --> 01:34:20.239
connected to it. I'm not sure if I've been talking

1308
01:34:20.319 --> 01:34:34.119
correctly anymore. Oh so tired. So that's it. Really, that's

1309
01:34:34.319 --> 01:34:37.760
the updated version of where I've been and why I

1310
01:34:37.840 --> 01:34:43.399
have not made any recordings this week since Friday, I think,

1311
01:34:44.359 --> 01:34:52.439
so I didn't do anything Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Today's Tuesday. Yeah,

1312
01:34:53.000 --> 01:34:58.159
I don't know. I can't even really predict if I'm

1313
01:34:58.199 --> 01:35:02.520
going to make any more recordings this week. It's just

1314
01:35:02.720 --> 01:35:06.600
hard to know. So probably no Q and a Friday

1315
01:35:08.399 --> 01:35:13.960
and hopefully fingers crossed and get back to be doing

1316
01:35:14.000 --> 01:35:17.720
a normal week next week. But I don't know. It's

1317
01:35:20.479 --> 01:35:22.439
I'm kind of surprised that I was able to do

1318
01:35:22.520 --> 01:35:29.399
a recording today, but up to now, I just haven't

1319
01:35:29.439 --> 01:35:31.920
been able to. I just it's been around so many

1320
01:35:32.000 --> 01:35:37.960
people's I just find it very draining. I just do

1321
01:35:39.359 --> 01:35:44.560
I always have done, and it's I can thrive off

1322
01:35:44.600 --> 01:35:51.920
it for a while, but then after, you know, after

1323
01:35:51.920 --> 01:35:53.920
a couple of hours or an hour or two, I

1324
01:35:54.000 --> 01:35:58.159
was like, oh, and then after four or five hours

1325
01:35:58.199 --> 01:36:02.039
of being out, you know, I'm nearly fallen asleep on

1326
01:36:02.119 --> 01:36:09.840
the bus back today or in the taxi bag. And technically,

1327
01:36:09.920 --> 01:36:12.680
you know, I'm not really I've not done anything physical.

1328
01:36:14.159 --> 01:36:16.680
I've not technical mean literally, I've not done anything physical

1329
01:36:16.760 --> 01:36:21.640
other than just a little pretty a bit more walk

1330
01:36:21.720 --> 01:36:24.920
in the normal because just walking around as hospitals is

1331
01:36:24.920 --> 01:36:27.159
probably more than I do when I take in for

1332
01:36:27.239 --> 01:36:36.319
a walk, big old places, isn't they And that's it. Really,

1333
01:36:36.640 --> 01:36:41.119
that's pretty much the update. There's there's I'm sure, there's

1334
01:36:41.199 --> 01:36:45.000
other stuff that's happened that I've not thought about or

1335
01:36:45.079 --> 01:36:50.319
that I was thinking about, and I haven't remembered I

1336
01:36:50.479 --> 01:36:52.720
as one as one thing. Where As these two nurses

1337
01:36:52.800 --> 01:36:55.479
came in and asked one of the other patients if

1338
01:36:55.520 --> 01:36:59.840
they could borrow her this his skin cream because she

1339
01:37:00.079 --> 01:37:03.279
had sunburn, and I said, you're a sunburn. She said,

1340
01:37:03.319 --> 01:37:07.640
all right, I look at this because she had a costume,

1341
01:37:07.720 --> 01:37:11.319
a uniform one, and she showed me a picture and

1342
01:37:11.439 --> 01:37:15.239
it was like her back and showed her where it

1343
01:37:15.359 --> 01:37:22.000
was like sunburn on her back and I said, oh, okay,

1344
01:37:23.319 --> 01:37:24.880
and she's holding it. She looked at me and said

1345
01:37:26.000 --> 01:37:31.199
next picture, please, and they laughed. Thankfully, they didn't show

1346
01:37:31.239 --> 01:37:36.039
me another picture. But it was just I thought, at

1347
01:37:36.119 --> 01:37:38.560
least I can get away with it still, because that's

1348
01:37:38.560 --> 01:37:39.920
this kind of stuff I used to say when I

1349
01:37:39.960 --> 01:37:42.399
was younger. Maybe I get away with it now because

1350
01:37:42.439 --> 01:37:44.319
I'm so old and they're just looking at me like

1351
01:37:44.399 --> 01:37:51.199
a grand like a grandfather or something. But it was nice.

1352
01:37:51.600 --> 01:37:55.239
It was just it was I'm not saying, look at

1353
01:37:55.279 --> 01:37:55.680
the picture.

1354
01:37:55.800 --> 01:37:56.119
Was nice.

1355
01:37:56.479 --> 01:38:02.399
It's just nice to have that friendliness. And they've all

1356
01:38:02.439 --> 01:38:06.119
been friendly everyone I've met at the hospital has been

1357
01:38:06.239 --> 01:38:16.159
very friendly and it says cool. And that is the

1358
01:38:16.439 --> 01:38:20.840
end of this or recording. So as a summary, the

1359
01:38:20.920 --> 01:38:26.680
website is back up and running. I will edit this tomorrow.

1360
01:38:29.600 --> 01:38:31.800
I'll try and do it when I wake up. I

1361
01:38:31.920 --> 01:38:38.279
don't know when I'm going to wake up. It won't

1362
01:38:38.319 --> 01:38:41.159
be early early, because it may be getting on to

1363
01:38:41.239 --> 01:38:44.079
eleven o'clock now, I don't know how long I've been

1364
01:38:44.119 --> 01:38:46.920
talking for. If that'll let me have a look, if

1365
01:38:46.960 --> 01:38:53.680
I can do it about it's twenty past eleven and

1366
01:38:53.760 --> 01:38:57.760
I've been talking for ninety nine. I've been talking for

1367
01:38:57.880 --> 01:39:06.760
one hundred minutes. What's that hour and forty minutes? See, yeah,

1368
01:39:08.239 --> 01:39:10.159
I've thought I started at ten. I've thought I started

1369
01:39:10.159 --> 01:39:14.680
at nine. Couldn't have done one hundred minutes, So sixty

1370
01:39:15.159 --> 01:39:20.840
seventy eighty nineteen hundred an hour and forty Okay, So

1371
01:39:21.960 --> 01:39:27.319
that's it. Thank you for listening, and remember to be

1372
01:39:27.439 --> 01:39:29.960
kind to yourself because you do deserve to be happy

1373
01:39:31.119 --> 01:39:34.600
and be gentle with yourself. You deserve to feel safe,

1374
01:39:36.680 --> 01:40:07.000
lots of love, bye, relax more deep and meaningful way,

1375
01:40:09.520 --> 01:40:14.479
maybe in a way that can not just allow you

1376
01:40:15.039 --> 01:40:25.000
to feel calmer now and throughout the time we've spend

1377
01:40:25.119 --> 01:40:33.039
together here, not just relaxed at the end of the

1378
01:40:33.159 --> 01:40:38.520
recording when it's finished and you can enjoy that sense

1379
01:40:38.680 --> 01:40:55.279
of comfort and peace, but also I think it would

1380
01:40:55.319 --> 01:41:11.159
be nice to have those feelings of relaxation continue for

1381
01:41:11.359 --> 01:41:23.199
longer after the recording has ended, so that you can

1382
01:41:24.920 --> 01:41:35.479
still benefit from listening to my voice, maybe in a

1383
01:41:35.600 --> 01:41:48.039
few hours time, perhaps tomorrow, and then by listening regularly,

1384
01:41:51.199 --> 01:41:55.760
especially if you find like some people do and myself

1385
01:41:55.840 --> 01:42:00.359
as well. I sometimes I find one particular recording that

1386
01:42:00.640 --> 01:42:09.239
really resonates with me, and I just listened to it

1387
01:42:09.399 --> 01:42:22.239
over and over again every morning, every evening. There was

1388
01:42:22.279 --> 01:42:27.960
this recording from We're going back to about nineteen ninety nine.

1389
01:42:29.680 --> 01:42:35.199
It wasn't hypnosis, but it was a guided visualizations. It

1390
01:42:35.319 --> 01:42:42.479
kind of was hypnosis, really, and I managed to find

1391
01:42:42.520 --> 01:42:46.560
it again and it still has the same effect on me.

1392
01:42:49.199 --> 01:42:58.920
And part of it was the person's voice relaxed me.

1393
01:43:02.800 --> 01:43:08.960
She just felt so peaceful, and I'd look forward to

1394
01:43:09.159 --> 01:43:15.560
listening to her in the morning and in the evening.

1395
01:43:22.000 --> 01:43:30.960
And I knew before even pressing the play button that

1396
01:43:31.119 --> 01:43:34.560
as soon as I've done that pressed the play button.

1397
01:43:35.359 --> 01:43:46.319
This was in the days of CD players pressed the

1398
01:43:46.399 --> 01:43:51.720
play button. In fact, it might have even been a

1399
01:43:51.800 --> 01:43:56.279
tape tape recorder. I'd lie down on the bed and

1400
01:43:56.399 --> 01:44:14.800
then even without necessarily listening to her words because I

1401
01:44:14.960 --> 01:44:22.399
had them memorized. Really, it was as if my body

1402
01:44:24.359 --> 01:44:37.760
knew exactly what to do, and the muscles just almost

1403
01:44:37.880 --> 01:44:58.279
went into automatic relaxation, and I remember my mind would

1404
01:44:58.319 --> 01:44:58.920
slow down.

1405
01:45:04.600 --> 01:45:04.760
Now.

1406
01:45:06.960 --> 01:45:13.600
Now, I was listening to this recording in the early

1407
01:45:13.760 --> 01:45:21.520
days of learning hypnosis, and long before I ever made

1408
01:45:22.119 --> 01:45:29.399
any videos or audio recordings myself, because I didn't start

1409
01:45:29.520 --> 01:45:43.199
doing that till two thousand and six, I knew, I

1410
01:45:43.359 --> 01:45:56.800
knew how helpful I found being able to just let go,

1411
01:46:00.119 --> 01:46:05.239
have that trust in the person that I'm listening to,

1412
01:46:12.960 --> 01:46:21.039
knowing that it's going to be just as relaxing, if

1413
01:46:21.119 --> 01:46:30.479
not more so. Each time you hear my voice, you

1414
01:46:30.560 --> 01:46:42.119
may feel the same. Some people have been listening to

1415
01:46:42.279 --> 01:46:56.119
me for over a decade, maybe not solidly, obviously, not

1416
01:46:56.239 --> 01:47:04.399
twenty four hours a day. Maybe people come back, some

1417
01:47:04.560 --> 01:47:19.520
people maybe listen every day. That's something that I do

1418
01:47:21.359 --> 01:47:35.800
which you may not realize by listening, is when I

1419
01:47:36.119 --> 01:47:52.239
record these recordings. Now, for example, I also am affected

1420
01:47:52.800 --> 01:48:05.560
by the words that I say So if I set

1421
01:48:05.800 --> 01:48:16.199
you focus on your feet, notice your feet relaxing, I

1422
01:48:16.319 --> 01:48:24.800
will be focusing on my feet. I will be noticing

1423
01:48:27.760 --> 01:48:42.239
my feet relaxing. If I said, focus on your hands,

1424
01:48:45.079 --> 01:48:54.600
and maybe notice the difference between each hand, perhaps notice

1425
01:48:54.720 --> 01:49:00.760
the air in the room, a temperature of the room.

1426
01:49:02.680 --> 01:49:13.000
On the backs of your hands, you may start to

1427
01:49:13.640 --> 01:49:21.640
notice what almost feels like a very light breeze, even

1428
01:49:21.760 --> 01:49:25.920
though there may not be any type of breeze at

1429
01:49:26.000 --> 01:49:38.920
all where you are right now. And as you become

1430
01:49:39.640 --> 01:49:54.000
aware of your hands, I'm also aware of how relaxed

1431
01:49:54.319 --> 01:50:17.760
my hands are feeling. Yeah now, And when it comes

1432
01:50:18.000 --> 01:50:24.960
to potentially drifting off to sleep, which may be the

1433
01:50:25.159 --> 01:50:40.960
reason you're listening, I also feel drowsy when I make

1434
01:50:41.119 --> 01:51:02.239
these recordings. I also notice my mind drifting. In fact,

1435
01:51:02.560 --> 01:51:19.199
at times I've actually fallen asleep without even noticing, and

1436
01:51:19.279 --> 01:51:28.640
then I carry on talking and it's suddenly when I

1437
01:51:30.319 --> 01:51:39.640
listen back to do the editing, I hear snoring, and

1438
01:51:39.760 --> 01:51:49.920
I think, I don't remember snoring. I remember talking. It's

1439
01:51:50.000 --> 01:51:57.279
snoring was a pick turned up. That's why I sound

1440
01:51:57.439 --> 01:52:05.279
like when I snore. How I get read into a

1441
01:52:07.159 --> 01:52:25.319
whole experience, I don't know how you feel, how relaxed

1442
01:52:25.520 --> 01:52:35.760
you feel in your feet, how relaxed you feel in

1443
01:52:35.960 --> 01:53:02.600
your hands. I have noticed more and more that the

1444
01:53:02.880 --> 01:53:19.520
more relaxed, deeper level of comfort you feel, the easier

1445
01:53:20.159 --> 01:53:39.479
your breathing becomes. It's almost like that additional muscle relaxation.

1446
01:53:43.880 --> 01:54:04.840
So this allows you to breathe easier without necessarily focusing

1447
01:54:07.079 --> 01:54:32.640
on your breath, however, being able to notice the ease

1448
01:54:36.079 --> 01:55:02.640
in which you breathe so naturally. You breathe so very

1449
01:55:02.960 --> 01:55:51.640
easily and smoothly whenever I imagine my breathing improving when

1450
01:55:51.680 --> 01:55:53.880
I've got my eyes closed.

1451
01:55:59.439 --> 01:56:00.279
A ten to.

1452
01:56:04.000 --> 01:56:21.000
Visualize a beautiful field with trees and flowers producing all

1453
01:56:21.239 --> 01:56:54.760
that life giving oxygen. And it feels nice too, if

1454
01:56:54.960 --> 01:57:25.479
nothing else, just taking some time away from everything, enjoying

1455
01:57:31.920 --> 01:58:23.079
that feeling of peace serenity with a joyful heart. Time

1456
01:58:23.560 --> 01:58:54.199
seems to just drip by, so very slowly, relaxed, so

1457
01:58:54.840 --> 01:59:34.199
deeply peaceful, completely unattached to any thoughts whatsoever in this moment,

1458
01:59:50.920 --> 02:00:46.760
completely free, noticing that your mind has slowed down. Slowed

1459
02:00:47.159 --> 02:01:33.479
down because nothing really requires your attention, you can enjoy

1460
02:01:38.159 --> 02:01:50.199
the physical sensations of allowing the stress to drip out

1461
02:01:50.279 --> 02:02:09.760
of your body, appear out of every m but of

1462
02:02:09.960 --> 02:02:34.439
your body. I'm being released from your brain, n your

1463
02:02:34.640 --> 02:03:10.000
mind slowly, but only the muscles in your legs.

1464
02:03:25.159 --> 02:03:55.720
Relax ris rs so very deeply, res.

1465
02:04:00.319 --> 02:04:25.680
So deeply. And the feelings, the pleasant feelings in your

1466
02:04:26.000 --> 02:04:53.760
arms and shoulders, deepening each part of your body further

1467
02:04:58.720 --> 02:05:31.680
and deep mhm and deeper noticine, the feelings in the

1468
02:05:31.840 --> 02:05:59.600
back of your neck, the feelings in your wrists, m

1469
02:06:31.119 --> 02:06:56.800
muscles in front of your body, I will say, feeling

1470
02:07:01.560 --> 02:07:35.640
peace for deep. There's a sense of pace spreads through

1471
02:07:37.239 --> 02:08:14.960
your very core. Even when you focus on your mind.

1472
02:08:26.920 --> 02:09:38.199
Her mind becomes be and slowerven deeper, relaxing, so faery

1473
02:09:38.520 --> 02:10:37.960
slow his stomach peace fall in your stomach, held back.

1474
02:10:43.399 --> 02:11:12.279
Notice Notice how relaxed you now feel in the hole

1475
02:11:12.600 --> 02:11:45.159
of your back. In a spy from your brain all

1476
02:11:45.359 --> 02:11:52.960
the way down the middle of your back, sending and

1477
02:11:53.479 --> 02:12:16.159
receiving millions of messages every day. Deep comfort increase in

1478
02:12:26.680 --> 02:13:32.039
deeply relaxed, your niece h relax, spreading those signals down

1479
02:13:32.239 --> 02:13:41.159
your spine or cord into air every part of your body,

1480
02:13:55.840 --> 02:14:44.119
your shins and your calf muscles with outbows, feelings of

1481
02:14:44.319 --> 02:15:01.399
peace and tranquility spreading through your body, tips of your toes,

1482
02:15:05.800 --> 02:15:17.319
to your eyes, your fingers, all the way till you'll

1483
02:15:17.399 --> 02:16:26.560
know it back letting her rediating, peace to drift in mind,

1484
02:16:31.079 --> 02:16:48.120
just wander in a way happy to let go, Let

1485
02:16:48.799 --> 02:17:54.280
go completely, let go, said tranquil Oh body enjoying a

1486
02:17:54.600 --> 02:20:20.440
sensor listener, he no, hey, enjoying the space, this space.

1487
02:20:23.079 --> 02:20:24.120
Of peace.

1488
02:20:27.360 --> 02:22:50.319
And safety, s very letting go. Maybe we can just

1489
02:22:53.239 --> 02:23:02.040
focus on the different parts of your body, just to

1490
02:23:02.360 --> 02:24:31.200
notice a forehead and your eyes mutual, so loose, noticing

1491
02:24:31.399 --> 02:26:04.239
a sense of complete freedom, absolute freedom, day, peace for.

1492
02:26:06.280 --> 02:26:48.159
Energy, peace to breeze. So much easy.

1493
02:27:29.200 --> 02:27:29.479
Lows.

1494
02:27:50.760 --> 02:28:40.879
You may or may not have noticed your mind drifting peaceful,

1495
02:28:54.959 --> 02:29:04.399
move any even more deeply in the direction of.

1496
02:29:09.639 --> 02:31:05.159
Total blissful pace, blissphul pace. Directhhhhhhhh t to pace com

1497
02:31:10.600 --> 02:31:51.559
he said, calm, let him go, peace of mind.

1498
02:32:00.959 --> 02:33:05.159
Rex bdy c rex c relaxed body feels almost invisible,

1499
02:33:20.399 --> 02:33:27.360
so very relaxed, paceful.

1500
02:33:33.159 --> 02:34:21.680
So pace le so.

1501
02:34:40.840 --> 02:34:47.040
And you could start to notice that you are feeling

1502
02:34:47.440 --> 02:34:58.639
more relaxed, even though I've not purposely focused your mind

1503
02:34:59.600 --> 02:35:07.159
upon that sense of physical comfort that is growing within

1504
02:35:07.319 --> 02:35:16.440
you throughout your body and your mind starts to slow down,

1505
02:35:21.360 --> 02:35:28.520
and that could be almost in recognition of I guess

1506
02:35:29.000 --> 02:35:41.440
my speech not being particularly fast and things just generally

1507
02:35:43.159 --> 02:35:54.159
feel calmer. Just by listening to my voice, you give

1508
02:35:54.239 --> 02:36:01.120
yourself an opportunity to take a break from the day,

1509
02:36:03.319 --> 02:36:10.760
take a break from your life as it is, and

1510
02:36:10.920 --> 02:36:18.680
to give yourself a rest, giving yourself permission to take

1511
02:36:18.799 --> 02:36:24.319
some time off and to allow your body to relax

1512
02:36:26.040 --> 02:36:33.959
and allow your mind to slow down, which in turn

1513
02:36:36.600 --> 02:36:41.600
releases the tension and it stresses that you had in

1514
02:36:41.680 --> 02:36:51.520
your body. It's almost as if the parts of your

1515
02:36:51.559 --> 02:37:03.600
body just open up, allowing the negativity out and at

1516
02:37:03.600 --> 02:37:11.879
the same time replacing that negativity with positive healing energy,

1517
02:37:14.959 --> 02:37:19.559
which then fills your body up and your mind to

1518
02:37:21.200 --> 02:37:39.319
also starts to appreciate those feelings of increasing confidence and

1519
02:37:39.520 --> 02:37:56.120
an almost uplifting feeling, positive healing, an energy that spreads

1520
02:37:56.559 --> 02:38:07.399
through your body like a wave of comfort. And all

1521
02:38:07.479 --> 02:38:19.520
this comes from just allowing yourself a few minutes, maybe

1522
02:38:19.639 --> 02:38:22.239
half an hour, however long you want it to be,

1523
02:38:23.760 --> 02:38:35.639
to just rest and allow your mind and your body

1524
02:38:37.920 --> 02:38:54.680
to almost reset itself to the settings of comfort and relaxation, calmness,

1525
02:38:58.959 --> 02:39:08.319
which allows more room for feelings of pleasure and happiness

1526
02:39:12.360 --> 02:39:21.159
to move around your body and into your mind, almost

1527
02:39:21.959 --> 02:39:26.559
as if your mind and your body are sinking together,

1528
02:39:30.840 --> 02:39:40.520
almost mirroring each other, with that growing positivity and calmness.

1529
02:39:45.600 --> 02:39:53.040
And it feels nice, really does feel nice to know

1530
02:39:53.319 --> 02:40:02.200
that you are the one that has allowed yourself to

1531
02:40:02.479 --> 02:40:16.440
feel more comfort and to experience more of this deep

1532
02:40:16.920 --> 02:40:32.959
relaxation spreading throughout your body. And as I focus on

1533
02:40:33.239 --> 02:40:38.920
each part of your body, you can notice that that

1534
02:40:39.280 --> 02:40:53.399
part becomes even more relaxed just by focusing on it.

1535
02:40:55.959 --> 02:41:05.600
It becomes even more harm and comfortable just by focusing.

1536
02:41:09.639 --> 02:41:15.399
And as I move down your body, starting at your head,

1537
02:41:18.120 --> 02:41:23.399
the parts that you have already focused on will continue

1538
02:41:24.760 --> 02:41:31.879
to relax deeply, and those parts that have not yet

1539
02:41:32.079 --> 02:41:44.920
focused on or just automatically release any remain intention in

1540
02:41:45.120 --> 02:41:59.280
anticipation of even more comfort about to come now and

1541
02:41:59.639 --> 02:42:06.840
start by focusing on your forehead. Just being aware of

1542
02:42:07.079 --> 02:42:17.200
the feelings of your forehead and any background sounds like

1543
02:42:17.399 --> 02:42:22.479
mister Herbert the pigeon, can just allow you to feel

1544
02:42:22.639 --> 02:42:32.600
even more relaxed. Just means you in the moment, this

1545
02:42:32.799 --> 02:42:37.920
isn't this isn't a sterile environment. This is the world.

1546
02:42:41.360 --> 02:42:47.399
I live in the countryside, so there's lots of nature

1547
02:42:47.920 --> 02:42:58.440
sounds around. So as you focus on your forehead, just

1548
02:42:58.680 --> 02:43:06.440
notice how it comes even more relaxed as you focus

1549
02:43:08.760 --> 02:43:13.239
only on my voice and that part of your body.

1550
02:43:18.479 --> 02:43:26.719
Moving down to your eyes, focusing on your eyes, noticing

1551
02:43:29.200 --> 02:43:38.879
how your eyelids feel so heavy yet so light at

1552
02:43:38.959 --> 02:43:45.440
the same time, and all the muscles around your eyes

1553
02:43:45.680 --> 02:43:59.879
relaxing completely. Moving your focus down to your mouth, your lips,

1554
02:44:00.559 --> 02:44:14.680
your tongue, your teeth. You comes the whole of your mouth, relaxing, calm.

1555
02:44:15.840 --> 02:44:16.399
And lease.

1556
02:44:20.879 --> 02:44:28.680
As you focus now on your jaw, not just the

1557
02:44:28.799 --> 02:44:32.280
parts of your jaw near your mouth and your chin,

1558
02:44:33.559 --> 02:44:36.639
but all the way up the size of your face

1559
02:44:37.840 --> 02:44:52.520
to your ears, the hole of your jaw, feeding more relaxed.

1560
02:44:55.799 --> 02:44:56.680
And calm.

1561
02:45:04.879 --> 02:45:13.920
Focusing on your neck, the front of your neck and

1562
02:45:14.040 --> 02:45:27.079
your throat, relaxing and loose and calm. The sides of

1563
02:45:27.200 --> 02:45:32.440
your neck, the right and left side of your neck,

1564
02:45:35.399 --> 02:45:51.200
relax and lease and calm. And now the back of

1565
02:45:51.360 --> 02:46:04.159
your neck. Focusing on the back of your neck, letting

1566
02:46:04.360 --> 02:46:09.040
go of any tension that may have been there before,

1567
02:46:10.879 --> 02:46:25.040
and enjoying that sense of increasing comfort and release. Then

1568
02:46:25.159 --> 02:46:35.559
you can experience in the back of your neck, moving

1569
02:46:35.799 --> 02:46:42.399
down your back and moving either side of your spine

1570
02:46:43.680 --> 02:46:48.399
right from the top of your back all the way

1571
02:46:48.639 --> 02:47:01.280
down to the bottom of your back down to your

1572
02:47:01.399 --> 02:47:11.920
lower back. And as you move up and down your spine,

1573
02:47:14.079 --> 02:47:18.479
you can feel the muscles either side of your spine

1574
02:47:20.719 --> 02:47:35.280
relaxing even more. And as those muscles relax, that sense

1575
02:47:35.360 --> 02:47:45.840
of comfort starts to spread outwards from your spine into

1576
02:47:46.079 --> 02:47:52.680
both sides of your back, the top of your back,

1577
02:47:53.559 --> 02:47:59.879
the middle en your lower back. And as you're scared

1578
02:48:00.079 --> 02:48:09.239
and gently and slowly up and down your back, there's

1579
02:48:09.280 --> 02:48:14.000
the muscles in the top of your back relax and

1580
02:48:14.239 --> 02:48:21.879
become looser. The muscles in the middle of your back

1581
02:48:23.399 --> 02:48:30.840
also seem to just almost divide from each other, separating

1582
02:48:31.079 --> 02:48:46.680
and almost melting. And in your lower back there seems

1583
02:48:46.719 --> 02:48:59.840
to be an extra special feeling of comfort. The spread

1584
02:49:00.200 --> 02:49:06.399
into your hips, sit down your lower back, into your hips,

1585
02:49:11.079 --> 02:49:18.159
into the area where your cosix are, and into your buttocks,

1586
02:49:20.319 --> 02:49:29.680
and always muscles that spread bring your lower back into

1587
02:49:29.760 --> 02:49:43.040
your hip area, start to melt, start to really let

1588
02:49:43.159 --> 02:49:53.719
go and don't even know where about to focus on

1589
02:49:53.840 --> 02:50:00.799
your shoulders, your back, and your spine. What can continue

1590
02:50:02.879 --> 02:50:21.239
till let go, continue to relax so calmly, and then

1591
02:50:21.360 --> 02:50:27.479
she focus on your shoulders. You may notice they're already

1592
02:50:29.360 --> 02:51:02.280
feeling really loose, they're already feeding calm. I feeling those

1593
02:51:02.520 --> 02:51:17.280
muscles then move from your neck into your shoulders. Feel

1594
02:51:17.799 --> 02:51:46.600
so soft and gentle, so smooth and calm, And the

1595
02:51:46.799 --> 02:52:00.000
feeling in your shoulders seems to spread deep into your shoulder,

1596
02:52:02.319 --> 02:52:11.600
that sense of relaxation, not just traveling deeply into your muscles,

1597
02:52:15.040 --> 02:52:27.920
but also relaxing the bones and moving all the way

1598
02:52:28.200 --> 02:52:36.879
to underneath your arms, relaxing a whole area between the

1599
02:52:37.040 --> 02:52:46.159
tops of your shoulders and underneath your arms healing.

1600
02:52:51.559 --> 02:52:52.239
You feel so.

1601
02:52:54.159 --> 02:53:06.200
Relaxed and comfortable shoulders, which sense that's.

1602
02:53:07.879 --> 02:53:09.879
Deep healing.

1603
02:53:12.920 --> 02:53:30.399
Message into your arms. You may feel almost as if

1604
02:53:30.479 --> 02:53:36.959
your arms are not even there, because they're so relaxed,

1605
02:53:40.200 --> 02:53:50.559
so deeply relaxed, so.

1606
02:53:55.639 --> 02:53:55.959
Calm.

1607
02:54:11.120 --> 02:54:36.799
So the feelings spreading all way down your arms to elbows,

1608
02:54:40.799 --> 02:55:10.200
including your elbows circumfort spreads away into rists, your forearms,

1609
02:55:10.799 --> 02:55:34.280
nder wrists so heavy. He had the same time, slight

1610
02:55:37.520 --> 02:56:04.440
and gentle, frek sip.

1611
02:56:06.840 --> 02:56:07.840
Now on.

1612
02:56:10.520 --> 02:56:34.559
Your hands, my hands.

1613
02:56:40.440 --> 02:57:10.000
So peaceful in your hands, The sense of real pace

1614
02:57:22.120 --> 02:57:36.440
just seems to feel so familiar on your hands, relax

1615
02:57:37.799 --> 02:59:43.200
deeply else the things things you think. It taps maing

1616
02:59:43.520 --> 03:00:02.719
your attention. Let affront your body, share constable.

1617
03:00:12.879 --> 03:00:13.879
And the new.

1618
03:00:13.959 --> 03:01:41.120
Focus to legs like mysels and your thighs.

1619
03:01:57.239 --> 03:01:58.079
And knees.

1620
03:02:02.159 --> 03:04:41.399
I relaxed, cough muscles, just shins, compassi, the faithing in

1621
03:04:41.559 --> 03:05:08.200
your faints, sir, pace of c calm si peaceful, sycom

1622
03:05:38.440 --> 03:05:52.200
so peaceful, sycom so peace for.

1623
03:06:01.040 --> 03:06:09.680
RelA same peace fall.

1624
03:06:13.639 --> 03:06:22.600
Came love and.

1625
03:06:23.040 --> 03:06:26.399
Deep relaxation, to.

1626
03:06:26.639 --> 03:06:43.760
Spread your chest your story, so relaxed, let me go.

1627
03:06:47.879 --> 03:07:04.719
Everything. It's I'm going to start counting down now, from

1628
03:07:04.840 --> 03:07:13.479
twenty down to one. You can imagine in a way

1629
03:07:13.559 --> 03:07:19.639
it's like just walking down some steps and each step

1630
03:07:20.040 --> 03:07:26.200
or twenty steps, and each step represents a level of comfort.

1631
03:07:29.719 --> 03:07:45.079
Each step represents a deepening of that comfort, and the

1632
03:07:45.319 --> 03:07:51.360
furthes you walk down those steps, the deeper and more

1633
03:07:51.440 --> 03:09:47.159
relaxed you feel. So starting with number twenty, twenty, nineteen, eighteen, seventeen,

1634
03:10:33.559 --> 03:17:56.120
sixteenhhhhhhhh three, four fie too well, No.

1635
03:18:58.680 --> 03:20:54.840
Eight siven.

1636
03:20:02.000 --> 03:20:39.760
Us leading.

1637
03:21:36.159 --> 03:22:52.159
Six five.

1638
03:23:05.959 --> 03:24:06.479
Us u.

1639
03:26:00.639 --> 03:27:11.040
Us using.

1640
03:27:49.200 --> 03:27:49.440
One.

1641
03:28:39.280 --> 03:28:56.360
Now as you focus on your eyes, you're gonna count

1642
03:28:56.479 --> 03:29:07.479
down from tenning down to one kah, focusing just on

1643
03:29:07.680 --> 03:29:18.600
your eyes, your eyelids, the muscles around your eyes, your

1644
03:29:18.680 --> 03:29:27.719
eye walls themselves, our whole area that makes up your eye.

1645
03:29:38.639 --> 03:29:43.879
And as we colt down from ten down to one,

1646
03:29:46.440 --> 03:29:59.959
whilst focusing on your eyes, you become twice. Is related

1647
03:30:00.079 --> 03:30:11.440
next with each number counting down that you may find

1648
03:30:15.639 --> 03:30:21.360
the all you want to do is just drift off

1649
03:30:21.719 --> 03:30:30.840
to sleep. And if that's what you want, then just

1650
03:30:31.000 --> 03:30:44.120
allow yourself to do that. Now, focusing on your eyes,

1651
03:30:46.239 --> 03:30:51.600
I'm going to begin counting down from ten down to

1652
03:30:51.799 --> 03:33:01.079
one right now, nine eighth seven.

1653
03:34:20.680 --> 03:35:04.719
H fie.

1654
03:36:15.239 --> 03:37:29.479
Four three.

1655
03:39:16.399 --> 03:39:23.360
Us U.

1656
03:40:03.040 --> 03:40:24.360
One. So counting down from ten to one ten nine

1657
03:40:26.079 --> 03:40:53.760
eight seven six five four three two one. And maybe

1658
03:40:53.920 --> 03:40:56.840
that was a bit too quick in order to relax.

1659
03:40:58.079 --> 03:41:02.600
Maybe it's a bit too fast. You to notice the

1660
03:41:03.920 --> 03:41:11.239
calming of your body, maybe even a little bit of pressure.

1661
03:41:11.280 --> 03:41:15.120
They're like, you're counted down from ten to one. Would

1662
03:41:15.120 --> 03:41:18.319
you expect me to do? Man, expect me to just

1663
03:41:18.440 --> 03:41:27.920
to go with floppy just because you're counting down. You

1664
03:41:28.000 --> 03:41:31.280
can try it again, but this time I'll go a

1665
03:41:31.319 --> 03:41:38.680
bit slower this time. As you focus on the whole

1666
03:41:38.799 --> 03:41:45.040
of your body, before we focus on your legs, just

1667
03:41:45.319 --> 03:41:55.280
notice how your body does start to feel more relaxed

1668
03:42:00.120 --> 03:42:34.879
with every number that I count down ten nine, eight, seven, six,

1669
03:42:43.319 --> 03:43:02.200
five four three.

1670
03:43:36.639 --> 03:43:36.879
One.

1671
03:43:48.239 --> 03:43:53.920
I just notice how how you feel, generally, how your

1672
03:43:53.959 --> 03:44:08.799
body feels. It's not necessarily even about counting down from

1673
03:44:08.920 --> 03:44:16.559
ten to one. It's that space that you have, that

1674
03:44:19.159 --> 03:44:40.079
space between being active physically or mentally to just sitting

1675
03:44:40.319 --> 03:44:45.120
or lying down, just being there, not doing anything, not

1676
03:44:45.440 --> 03:44:52.440
saying anything, or needing to think about anything. So it

1677
03:44:52.559 --> 03:44:56.120
opens up a space, you know, a bit of a space,

1678
03:44:57.079 --> 03:45:06.920
a gap. And the more I came down from ten

1679
03:45:07.000 --> 03:45:14.360
to one, the bigger that gap becomes. So there's that

1680
03:45:14.600 --> 03:45:27.200
gap of calmness, of comfort, relaxation. It's a nice feeling,

1681
03:45:32.760 --> 03:45:41.479
and it moves those stresses or discomforts physically or emotionally,

1682
03:45:42.159 --> 03:45:52.920
moves them away. Allows you.

1683
03:45:55.639 --> 03:45:56.159
To just.

1684
03:45:59.120 --> 03:46:05.440
Slow down, someone to count a game from ten down

1685
03:46:05.479 --> 03:46:15.479
to one, and notice that gap widening the gap. And

1686
03:46:15.600 --> 03:46:20.600
as it widens, it's almost like the stress and attention

1687
03:46:21.440 --> 03:46:40.559
falls into the gap and gives you that distance, that space.

1688
03:46:42.959 --> 03:46:48.399
Now ten.

1689
03:46:52.760 --> 03:48:49.760
Nine, eight, seven, six, five four three two one. How

1690
03:48:49.840 --> 03:49:10.920
did your body feel? Can you notice that do you

1691
03:49:11.040 --> 03:49:47.760
feeling calmer. Do you feeling more relaxed as we now

1692
03:49:47.959 --> 03:50:08.280
focus on your legs, just your legs. We're just gonna

1693
03:50:08.719 --> 03:50:28.120
start with focusing on your thighs. Of course, it's not

1694
03:50:28.239 --> 03:50:36.719
the most exciting thing to be doing, because I'm sure,

1695
03:50:36.840 --> 03:50:39.440
like most of your body is not a lot going

1696
03:50:39.520 --> 03:50:52.200
on right now. Just focusing on the whole of your thighs,

1697
03:50:55.000 --> 03:50:58.719
the tops of your thighs, the sides of your fighs,

1698
03:51:00.959 --> 03:51:05.399
the bottoms of your thighs, your outer thighs, and your

1699
03:51:05.520 --> 03:51:10.760
inner thighs. Basically the whole of your thigh that leads

1700
03:51:11.799 --> 03:51:27.319
into your hip and it goes down to your knee joints. Now,

1701
03:51:27.440 --> 03:51:34.440
this is a big area. It's a very heavy area.

1702
03:51:34.920 --> 03:51:40.920
It's very strong, probably the strongest muscles in your body

1703
03:51:41.639 --> 03:51:55.920
or in your thighs. But I don't think we perhaps

1704
03:51:57.719 --> 03:52:08.319
will give enough attention to our thighs. Perhaps we don't

1705
03:52:09.680 --> 03:52:18.680
and acknowledge how important our thighs are to our lives,

1706
03:52:30.239 --> 03:52:39.639
how much they actually do for us all through our lives.

1707
03:52:46.799 --> 03:52:52.360
And it may seem to sound really weird, but I

1708
03:52:52.479 --> 03:52:58.440
think that all of our body parts, especially our thighs,

1709
03:52:59.440 --> 03:53:14.280
needs TLC, a bit of love shown, a bit of acknowledgement,

1710
03:53:17.040 --> 03:53:26.079
thank you gratitude for what our thighs do for us.

1711
03:53:32.680 --> 03:53:38.280
And I know this may sound a bit strange. Maybe

1712
03:53:38.319 --> 03:53:41.360
you think, why am I short? How should be out

1713
03:53:41.840 --> 03:53:50.280
in the garden hugging a tree or something. Well, it's

1714
03:53:50.319 --> 03:53:53.559
hard to set a microphone up on a tree. That's

1715
03:53:53.600 --> 03:53:56.079
why I'm doing this indoors. Otherwise I wouldn't be outside

1716
03:53:56.159 --> 03:53:59.920
hugging a tree. I can't see the television from the tree.

1717
03:54:06.680 --> 03:54:10.920
If you move down to your knees gain such an

1718
03:54:11.000 --> 03:54:20.719
important part. And I think we don't necessarily I'll speak

1719
03:54:20.760 --> 03:54:28.600
for myself. I don't necessarily appreciate all that my needs

1720
03:54:28.840 --> 03:54:34.000
do for me until I have a problem with my knee.

1721
03:54:35.000 --> 03:54:39.079
It's occasionally, if I ever maybe i'll bash it or

1722
03:54:40.040 --> 03:54:45.600
it's aching for some reason. It's then that I realize

1723
03:54:46.760 --> 03:54:50.799
how much it does. You know, the benefit of being

1724
03:54:50.799 --> 03:54:58.719
able to use my legs without any kind of physical

1725
03:54:58.879 --> 03:55:07.040
discomfort is a beautiful thing that's possibly not appreciated until

1726
03:55:08.079 --> 03:55:17.799
it's temporarily removed. You know that's comfort. But as you

1727
03:55:17.959 --> 03:55:23.159
focus on your knees, regardless of how your knees feel,

1728
03:55:26.239 --> 03:55:31.959
you can have that sense of gratitude and love to

1729
03:55:32.079 --> 03:55:44.680
your knees for all that they do for you, and

1730
03:55:44.840 --> 03:55:48.840
you can still have that attention on your thighs. Maybe

1731
03:55:49.040 --> 03:55:56.360
notice how your thighs feel, Maybe notice that they are

1732
03:55:58.239 --> 03:56:14.559
relaxing more deeply as you focus now on the bottoms

1733
03:56:14.600 --> 03:56:19.040
of your legs, your shins, and your calf muscles. The

1734
03:56:19.159 --> 03:56:26.799
bones between your knees and your feet incorporate, and of

1735
03:56:26.920 --> 03:56:37.959
course your ankles so important. You know, anyone that's had

1736
03:56:38.840 --> 03:56:44.280
even like the slightest sprain of an ankle knows how

1737
03:56:45.920 --> 03:56:56.239
how much we take our ankles for granted. And it's

1738
03:56:56.360 --> 03:56:58.399
kind of strange in a way when you think that.

1739
03:57:00.959 --> 03:57:04.959
You know, logically, our wrists are a lot thinner than

1740
03:57:05.040 --> 03:57:09.159
the rest of our arms, which is okay, it doesn't

1741
03:57:09.680 --> 03:57:12.719
I can't see any problem with that because we're just

1742
03:57:12.840 --> 03:57:20.520
picking stuff up by our ankles so much thinner than

1743
03:57:20.559 --> 03:57:29.639
the rest of our legs. And from a physics perspective

1744
03:57:30.920 --> 03:57:35.079
or logical even it doesn't really make sense that all

1745
03:57:35.200 --> 03:57:43.920
this weight would ultimately be resting on your ankles then

1746
03:57:44.040 --> 03:57:57.159
leading to your feet. That thin area, thin bone. Yeah,

1747
03:57:57.239 --> 03:58:02.959
it does so much great work. Supports us, supports our

1748
03:58:03.079 --> 03:58:15.159
body for a lifetime, helps us to balance, It helps.

1749
03:58:14.879 --> 03:58:15.200
You to.

1750
03:58:19.159 --> 03:58:28.399
Get her around and be mobile. And there's the calf muscles.

1751
03:58:28.440 --> 03:58:36.040
Of course, when I was younger, I couldn't see the

1752
03:58:36.120 --> 03:58:42.440
pointing calf muscles, didn't seem to do anything. Okay, if

1753
03:58:42.479 --> 03:58:46.040
I walked around on tiptoes, then my calf muscles get

1754
03:58:46.120 --> 03:58:49.840
some work. But of course that's not true. The calf

1755
03:58:49.920 --> 03:58:59.520
muscles are being used whenever we use the legs, and

1756
03:59:03.680 --> 03:59:12.680
there to protect your lower legs, shaped in a way

1757
03:59:14.520 --> 03:59:26.639
almost as a protector for the bone, leading of course

1758
03:59:26.719 --> 03:59:36.879
to your ankles and your feet. But we're not going

1759
03:59:36.959 --> 03:59:39.079
to focus on your feet. We're just going to focus

1760
03:59:39.159 --> 03:59:45.799
on the legs. I realize, and now that I've mentioned

1761
03:59:45.840 --> 03:59:50.520
your feet, you'll probably focus on them anyway, So maybe

1762
03:59:50.600 --> 03:59:56.719
I should focus on your feet a little bit. You

1763
03:59:56.840 --> 04:00:01.239
can have them in your awareness the same as you

1764
04:00:02.040 --> 04:00:05.959
have your thighs in your awareness. Even though we haven't

1765
04:00:06.000 --> 04:00:11.600
been focusing on your thighs for a few minutes, I've

1766
04:00:11.639 --> 04:00:22.559
been focusing on your ankles, there's still that sensation of

1767
04:00:25.760 --> 04:00:38.520
comfort in your thighs, and there's that movement of energy

1768
04:00:40.600 --> 04:00:47.639
because the thighs hold lots of different sensations. Of course,

1769
04:00:47.719 --> 04:00:52.479
there's the muscles, the big straw muscles, that we have

1770
04:00:52.680 --> 04:01:06.000
in our thighs. But the skin on the outside of

1771
04:01:06.079 --> 04:01:11.399
the thighs, as in the outside of all of our body,

1772
04:01:12.200 --> 04:01:23.760
can be very sensitive, sensitive to the touch, sensitive to temperature,

1773
04:01:30.319 --> 04:01:37.879
and inside your thighs the bones, there's the muscle, there's

1774
04:01:37.920 --> 04:01:42.680
the blood, vessels, the ar trees, to all this stuff

1775
04:01:42.799 --> 04:01:51.920
that's inside your thighs. I guess sometimes it'd be nice

1776
04:01:51.920 --> 04:01:56.239
if you could actually put your fingers inside your thighs

1777
04:01:56.879 --> 04:02:02.840
and message, so you can message on the outside, of course,

1778
04:02:03.639 --> 04:02:05.959
but to be able to get deep into the muscles,

1779
04:02:06.840 --> 04:02:10.760
and to be able to just massage inside your thighs,

1780
04:02:11.639 --> 04:02:20.079
message in the bones of your leg massage in all

1781
04:02:20.159 --> 04:02:30.920
the veins, just gently healing your thighs, and you can

1782
04:02:31.079 --> 04:02:37.959
move down message and inside your knees, just message in

1783
04:02:38.079 --> 04:02:45.440
those bones, but with healing fingertips, spreading the healing energy

1784
04:02:46.239 --> 04:02:55.920
deep into the choice of your knees. Of course, there's

1785
04:02:56.000 --> 04:03:01.600
the back of your you need the inside crease where

1786
04:03:01.639 --> 04:03:09.440
your need is. It's a very sensitive area. It feels

1787
04:03:09.520 --> 04:03:13.520
very nice when you stroke it. That might be because

1788
04:03:14.399 --> 04:03:19.360
it's an area that's not really touched very often. It's

1789
04:03:19.520 --> 04:03:26.040
almost like a hidden part. That crease in your legs

1790
04:03:26.120 --> 04:03:33.440
it's almost like a part that has a sensitivity, which

1791
04:03:33.520 --> 04:03:43.959
is a little bit different. Of course, it's protected by

1792
04:03:44.040 --> 04:03:55.440
your legs, So you can imagine putting your fingers into

1793
04:03:55.559 --> 04:04:05.239
that crease in your legs. Fold in between your legs.

1794
04:04:05.959 --> 04:04:10.559
You can just message with your fingertips. Imagine your fingertips

1795
04:04:10.680 --> 04:04:21.040
going inside, massage in the muscle or tissue you can

1796
04:04:21.120 --> 04:04:27.360
of cause, field the bones of your knees, healing through

1797
04:04:27.399 --> 04:04:40.079
your fingertips, and then as you go down to your

1798
04:04:40.159 --> 04:04:42.840
calf muscles, and that's the part I'd like to be

1799
04:04:42.920 --> 04:04:49.280
able to really put my fingertips deep inside my calf muscles,

1800
04:04:50.760 --> 04:05:00.520
massage in every single tissue of that muscle, healing every part,

1801
04:05:06.440 --> 04:05:12.559
and then doing the same for my shins, massage and

1802
04:05:13.479 --> 04:05:20.440
generally stroking the bones, generally stroking them, healing in a

1803
04:05:20.559 --> 04:05:27.719
loving way because they deserve to be treated. There's the

1804
04:05:27.840 --> 04:05:31.760
precious bones that they are, because our legs are so

1805
04:05:32.000 --> 04:05:35.520
precious as in all the other parts of our body,

1806
04:05:38.040 --> 04:05:51.479
the more precious of any chore on the planet. And

1807
04:05:51.760 --> 04:05:59.719
when you start to think about your legs in this way,

1808
04:06:04.319 --> 04:06:10.959
it can change your perspective. It might sound a bit

1809
04:06:14.040 --> 04:06:18.360
a bit silly to start with, the idea of having

1810
04:06:19.239 --> 04:06:29.239
love for your legs, showing appreciation for your thighs, wanting

1811
04:06:29.360 --> 04:06:33.280
to be able to put your hands in your thighs,

1812
04:06:35.520 --> 04:06:41.879
massage the muscles and the bones, and to get your

1813
04:06:42.000 --> 04:06:50.479
fingers deep in there, releasing all tension. Just to show

1814
04:06:52.399 --> 04:06:59.680
how much you care about your legs, how much you

1815
04:06:59.799 --> 04:07:08.440
can form what your legs do for you regularly, your knees,

1816
04:07:08.680 --> 04:07:21.520
your calves, your ankles, the strength of your ankles, considering

1817
04:07:21.719 --> 04:07:26.239
how thin they are compared to the rest of your legs,

1818
04:07:26.399 --> 04:07:40.040
especially your thighs. Yeah, they're so strong, so flexible, absolutely

1819
04:07:40.319 --> 04:07:52.120
amazing things. Your ankles are truly a gift because of

1820
04:07:52.200 --> 04:08:03.399
what they do for you, supporting all that weight, regardless

1821
04:08:03.520 --> 04:08:07.559
of how what weight you are, even if you only

1822
04:08:07.959 --> 04:08:12.719
ate stone, there's still a lot of weight for these

1823
04:08:13.159 --> 04:08:19.239
little ankles. Now, I am a lot heavier than eight

1824
04:08:19.319 --> 04:08:29.959
stone double down, Yet my ankles support my body all

1825
04:08:30.000 --> 04:08:36.440
the time. Whether they do give off a sigh of

1826
04:08:36.559 --> 04:08:41.600
relief when I sit down, that's it. You've had my

1827
04:08:41.639 --> 04:08:50.559
whole legs thick, my feet feet or so go my

1828
04:08:50.719 --> 04:09:20.920
toes clap so happy. Your legs really are amazing. And

1829
04:09:21.000 --> 04:09:24.680
I know they're talking about talking about your legs is

1830
04:09:24.760 --> 04:09:31.239
probably possibly one of the most most boring things I've

1831
04:09:31.239 --> 04:09:40.280
ever heard anyone say. Possibly you're boring or not. Everything

1832
04:09:40.360 --> 04:09:55.799
I said is true. Your legs are amazing. Your legs

1833
04:09:56.000 --> 04:10:15.479
deserve not just respect, they deserve to relax deeply. They

1834
04:10:15.639 --> 04:10:20.959
deserve to take some time out of the day to

1835
04:10:21.200 --> 04:10:57.799
just leto completely. The legs really can relax. And because

1836
04:10:57.879 --> 04:11:01.799
the legs are so such a most you know, very

1837
04:11:01.879 --> 04:11:07.600
important part of your body. When you relax your legs,

1838
04:11:07.680 --> 04:11:14.920
the rest of your body also naturally follows in that

1839
04:11:18.639 --> 04:11:29.479
journey of comfort. Like I feel it in my hips.

1840
04:11:30.879 --> 04:11:38.000
My hips feel really loose, and also my lower back

1841
04:11:38.079 --> 04:11:44.639
as well. My lower back really feels it feels stretched,

1842
04:11:45.799 --> 04:11:48.840
even though I'm just sitting in a chair and there's

1843
04:11:48.920 --> 04:11:54.159
no stretching as far as I'm aware that I'm doing.

1844
04:11:55.200 --> 04:11:57.840
It's almost as if the muscles are just relaxed so

1845
04:11:58.079 --> 04:12:04.000
much that there is a natural stretch as a tension

1846
04:12:04.879 --> 04:12:26.159
has reduced a lot. And I'm now going to count

1847
04:12:26.239 --> 04:12:36.000
down from ten down to one. You can continue to

1848
04:12:36.200 --> 04:13:07.120
fill wonderfully relaxed ten nine, eight, seven, six, five, four

1849
04:13:10.479 --> 04:13:35.280
three two one relax. So I'm just going to count

1850
04:13:35.360 --> 04:13:40.399
down from five down to one, and as a countdown,

1851
04:13:41.680 --> 04:13:46.440
if you just focus on the numbers, just the numbers

1852
04:13:48.079 --> 04:13:57.079
counting down, and notice how you feel in this moment

1853
04:13:58.840 --> 04:14:03.239
as you hear the numbers counting down, knowing that those

1854
04:14:03.399 --> 04:14:16.440
numbers counting down represent you feeling calmer, not just in

1855
04:14:16.559 --> 04:14:25.079
your body, but also relaxing your mind. Just notice how

1856
04:14:25.159 --> 04:14:30.959
you feel. There's nothing to do, there's nothing to say,

1857
04:14:31.639 --> 04:14:48.719
there's nothing to think about, starting with number five, four,

1858
04:14:58.239 --> 04:15:34.000
three to one. How as you notice the gradual letting

1859
04:15:34.120 --> 04:15:43.520
go the tension in your body, you may also begin

1860
04:15:43.799 --> 04:15:49.799
to notice and be aware of how your mind is

1861
04:15:50.879 --> 04:15:58.680
starting to slow down. This is just a natural thing

1862
04:15:59.200 --> 04:16:07.120
that happens. It's not really a special procedure. It's just natural.

1863
04:16:07.280 --> 04:16:13.639
Because is your body relaxes, your mind also starts to relax.

1864
04:16:15.239 --> 04:16:18.879
And the more your mind relaxes, the more your body relaxes.

1865
04:16:19.040 --> 04:16:29.520
It's just a continuous circle of relaxation. And there's that

1866
04:16:30.799 --> 04:16:38.680
calmness that comes from relative quietness. You know, even even

1867
04:16:38.719 --> 04:16:45.680
if this background sounds either your side online, it's still

1868
04:16:46.159 --> 04:16:51.440
going to be quite calm. You know, you haven't got

1869
04:16:51.479 --> 04:16:56.639
the television on, there's no music in the background, unless

1870
04:16:56.680 --> 04:17:04.120
you're listening to the recorded with music. Of course you're

1871
04:17:04.280 --> 04:17:06.399
very likely not going to be sitting in a room

1872
04:17:06.440 --> 04:17:11.000
with other people. Of course you might be, but generally

1873
04:17:11.159 --> 04:17:14.319
it's more ideal if you can do this on your own,

1874
04:17:16.040 --> 04:17:26.079
so no distractions, and when you stop thinking about stuff,

1875
04:17:32.680 --> 04:17:42.920
relaxation automatically rises, a sense of comfort starts to grow,

1876
04:17:47.440 --> 04:17:54.120
and without trying to build it up into something fantastical

1877
04:17:54.520 --> 04:18:06.280
or something magical, this is just a natural process, something

1878
04:18:06.440 --> 04:18:16.600
that's easy to accomplish. In fact, it's almost you know,

1879
04:18:16.719 --> 04:18:23.559
the sense of relaxing completely happens really when you put

1880
04:18:23.760 --> 04:18:27.639
no effort into it. It's not something that you can

1881
04:18:27.719 --> 04:18:39.360
really force. It's something that happens naturally. And part of

1882
04:18:39.760 --> 04:18:50.000
the process of this recording and others is simply two

1883
04:18:51.559 --> 04:19:01.920
allow you to take advantage of this space, this time,

1884
04:19:04.959 --> 04:19:15.840
to just let go, to just be here, to be

1885
04:19:16.520 --> 04:19:29.920
in tune with how you feel, yet with the intention

1886
04:19:32.159 --> 04:19:43.600
of wanting to relax deeply, that maybe even to fall asleep,

1887
04:19:44.799 --> 04:19:49.959
depending on what it is that you wish for yourself

1888
04:19:51.719 --> 04:20:08.040
in this moment. As we relaxing is the majority of

1889
04:20:08.200 --> 04:20:12.760
the process of falling asleep. The actual falling asleep part

1890
04:20:13.040 --> 04:20:21.200
is the tiny bit at the end, the deeper relaxed,

1891
04:20:21.559 --> 04:20:43.120
you become the easier you find yourself drifting. But you

1892
04:20:43.200 --> 04:20:50.200
can also if you choose stay focused on my voice

1893
04:20:51.920 --> 04:21:23.399
and really enjoy the process, gradually relaxing each muscle in

1894
04:21:23.559 --> 04:21:50.879
your body effortlessly and just observing the sensation of letting

1895
04:21:51.079 --> 04:22:07.920
go completely. This time, I'm gonna count from six down

1896
04:22:08.000 --> 04:22:20.319
to one, and you can notice your mind calming down

1897
04:22:20.799 --> 04:22:32.559
more with each number that you hear me say, naturally,

1898
04:22:33.639 --> 04:25:15.200
feeling calm and slow, peaceful sex five, four, three, one,

1899
04:25:36.319 --> 04:25:45.879
being aware how your mind to slow it right down,

1900
04:25:49.159 --> 04:26:12.559
sinking deeply into relaxation. As you focus on your mind,

1901
04:26:16.399 --> 04:26:25.680
may notice that there are some thoughts still there, maybe

1902
04:26:25.840 --> 04:26:35.600
some stubborn thoughts that for some reason perhaps need your attention.

1903
04:26:42.479 --> 04:26:43.959
That's what you can do is.

1904
04:26:49.440 --> 04:27:01.920
Send love to those thoughts. Sprinkle those thoughts with love,

1905
04:27:03.680 --> 04:27:09.840
my little petals from a flower. Just sprinkle over them petals,

1906
04:27:09.920 --> 04:27:17.120
feel good love towards those thoughts, to let those thoughts

1907
04:27:17.319 --> 04:27:24.159
know that you're not abandoned the number you just need them.

1908
04:27:25.399 --> 04:27:36.440
You require them to just calm down, slow down, quiet

1909
04:27:36.799 --> 04:27:52.760
down for now. So as you focus on those remaining thoughts.

1910
04:27:54.040 --> 04:27:57.760
As we count down this time from seven down to

1911
04:27:57.920 --> 04:28:13.719
one number Just imagine sprinkling those flower petals of love, kindness,

1912
04:28:15.319 --> 04:28:27.159
gratitude over those thoughts, which will allow them to just

1913
04:28:28.639 --> 04:28:43.639
not away and relax deeply. With every number, those thoughts

1914
04:28:43.760 --> 04:31:10.440
will become more and more relaxed. Starting if number seven, six, five, four, three, one.

1915
04:31:27.360 --> 04:31:28.200
Let you now.

1916
04:31:32.319 --> 04:31:53.559
Notice how relaxed you're feeling in your body. We got

1917
04:31:53.680 --> 04:32:07.360
to focus on your hands because the more relaxed your

1918
04:32:07.520 --> 04:32:29.600
hands on, the more relaxed your body and mind. This

1919
04:32:31.520 --> 04:32:41.639
you focus on your hands and your fingers. There's nothing

1920
04:32:42.200 --> 04:32:46.920
needed to be done. There's no clinching of fists or

1921
04:32:47.959 --> 04:32:58.280
dance in the fingers or anything like that. It's just

1922
04:32:58.760 --> 04:33:12.799
noticing and focusing on your hands. Let seere they feel.

1923
04:33:27.439 --> 04:33:37.400
Because the more but aks your hands feel, the calm

1924
04:33:37.479 --> 04:33:50.040
where your mind feels, comforts you feel throughout your body.

1925
04:33:55.959 --> 04:33:58.799
Jee me.

1926
04:34:01.400 --> 04:34:44.439
Have already latice you mind is starting. Drest I said,

1927
04:34:48.520 --> 04:34:52.279
just on your hands and fingers.

1928
04:34:56.599 --> 04:34:58.000
A love and.

1929
04:34:59.279 --> 04:35:12.279
Cheap the experience a real deepening of that relaxation in

1930
04:35:12.439 --> 04:35:39.360
your hands and fingers more relaxed. With each number from

1931
04:35:39.520 --> 04:35:56.240
eight down to one, almost feel that healing relax energy

1932
04:35:57.360 --> 04:36:18.880
spread it into your hands fingers, becoming relaxing with each

1933
04:36:19.400 --> 04:36:37.000
number here going down eight down to one to drift

1934
04:36:37.119 --> 04:37:38.759
down to drifting again, started with number seven.

1935
04:39:27.479 --> 04:39:27.759
Three.

1936
04:40:47.520 --> 04:40:56.799
Just being here now, nothing to think about, nothing to do,

1937
04:40:58.439 --> 04:41:07.360
nothing to say, and everything just feels calm.

1938
04:41:12.319 --> 04:41:20.040
This is your natural state of being. This is how

1939
04:41:20.200 --> 04:41:26.799
you just normally feel when you take away all that.

1940
04:41:27.200 --> 04:41:35.400
Other stuff that we add and thinks like stress and way.

1941
04:41:38.680 --> 04:41:39.599
Over think.

1942
04:41:42.639 --> 04:41:51.119
Anxiety and ten ship thinking about stuff.

1943
04:41:53.360 --> 04:41:57.680
You take that away, which is what we do do.

1944
04:41:57.959 --> 04:42:15.279
Now you left with a real sense of peacefulness which

1945
04:42:15.479 --> 04:42:25.319
comes to you very quickly, because ansomple is just a feeling,

1946
04:42:29.720 --> 04:42:38.599
a feeling and comfort amost as if you got inside yourself,

1947
04:42:38.880 --> 04:42:53.840
You've found a special place where everything is peaceful. Place

1948
04:42:54.040 --> 04:43:01.880
week in the film Relaxed as your natural sense of confident,

1949
04:43:05.080 --> 04:43:15.439
the place where be here we can accept yourself and

1950
04:43:15.919 --> 04:43:24.720
you are the place where I'm trying to please anybody else.

1951
04:43:29.680 --> 04:43:31.119
Place where you can.

1952
04:43:32.639 --> 04:43:38.200
Actually not just love yourself, but.

1953
04:43:39.680 --> 04:43:42.479
In some ways more importantly, you can.

1954
04:43:42.720 --> 04:43:47.639
Like yourself, appreciate.

1955
04:43:48.479 --> 04:43:49.560
Who do you want?

1956
04:43:58.360 --> 04:44:00.040
A sense of great.

1957
04:44:03.240 --> 04:44:05.119
See the air around.

1958
04:44:12.639 --> 04:44:20.439
That's also a place where you can actually feel the

1959
04:44:20.799 --> 04:44:36.080
healing energy soaking into your body. Heaving energy soaking into

1960
04:44:36.200 --> 04:44:50.639
your body, heaving energy spreads through your face, traveling to

1961
04:44:51.000 --> 04:45:03.439
each every single part of your body, and you start

1962
04:45:03.520 --> 04:45:10.439
to realize to actually a healing energy. It's not just

1963
04:45:11.040 --> 04:45:17.840
entered into your brain, it's become a part of your brain.

1964
04:45:22.959 --> 04:45:29.439
The spinal fluid is now mixed to be healing energy,

1965
04:45:34.680 --> 04:45:40.959
not just allowing you to feel so much more relaxed

1966
04:45:43.000 --> 04:45:55.040
and healthy in this moment, but also we start to

1967
04:45:55.200 --> 04:46:04.560
realize that actually what's happened and now the healing, relaxing

1968
04:46:05.680 --> 04:46:13.560
energy spreading through your body is actually changing your life.

1969
04:46:18.759 --> 04:46:23.840
It's actually changing the way you're going to feel not

1970
04:46:24.119 --> 04:46:31.479
just now, but tomorrow and the next day because your

1971
04:46:31.639 --> 04:46:39.680
health improves, not just your physical health, but your mental health.

1972
04:46:43.639 --> 04:46:48.799
Things that used to bother you in the past, for

1973
04:46:49.000 --> 04:46:54.959
some reason, no longer have the effect that they used

1974
04:46:55.000 --> 04:47:09.360
to because something is aged deep within you. Maybe things

1975
04:47:09.639 --> 04:47:15.040
that used to cause you to feel anger.

1976
04:47:18.520 --> 04:47:22.279
No longer have that power.

1977
04:47:24.919 --> 04:47:25.880
To control you.

1978
04:47:28.319 --> 04:47:30.759
The way they seem to be able to before.

1979
04:47:34.439 --> 04:47:45.240
As she realize that you're the one who decides what

1980
04:47:45.599 --> 04:47:57.279
affects you. You're the one who decides to feel relaxed

1981
04:47:58.119 --> 04:48:12.799
and calm when you choose to enjoy. Noticing these natural developments,

1982
04:48:16.040 --> 04:48:27.560
healing continue to grow and improve your life day by day,

1983
04:48:33.439 --> 04:48:41.720
including of course your ability to relax so much easier

1984
04:48:46.720 --> 04:48:56.240
and sleeping. It's the most natural thing in the world

1985
04:48:57.720 --> 04:49:05.240
to you because falling asleep is something that.

1986
04:49:05.400 --> 04:49:06.279
You've done.

1987
04:49:09.080 --> 04:49:10.680
So many times.

1988
04:49:12.000 --> 04:49:17.599
In your life, and you know that you were born,

1989
04:49:19.119 --> 04:49:20.119
as we all were.

1990
04:49:20.799 --> 04:49:30.680
With the ability to fall asleep, but naturally were born

1991
04:49:32.040 --> 04:49:42.520
with that ability to just drift off into a deep,

1992
04:49:43.799 --> 04:49:55.119
healing sleep. Even when we're kids, sometimes it's will fall

1993
04:49:55.200 --> 04:49:56.159
asleep and we don't.

1994
04:49:56.159 --> 04:49:56.799
You don't want to.

1995
04:49:58.840 --> 04:50:02.560
Try to think it st you're awake. Maybe it's a

1996
04:50:02.720 --> 04:50:07.200
birthday in the morning, though it's Christmas or holiday or

1997
04:50:07.279 --> 04:50:08.400
something we look forward to.

1998
04:50:09.000 --> 04:50:10.200
I don't want to go to sleep.

1999
04:50:12.479 --> 04:50:17.400
But the more we want to stay awake, the more

2000
04:50:17.680 --> 04:50:25.959
we just start to drift. And the more you fights drifting,

2001
04:50:26.880 --> 04:50:32.360
which might stop you sting drifted a sleep, the detail

2002
04:50:32.599 --> 04:50:44.080
is stronger without drifting becomes because we're born not just

2003
04:50:44.279 --> 04:50:51.000
with the need to relax deeply and to actually fall asleep,

2004
04:50:54.200 --> 04:51:00.400
but it's our birth right, it's part of our dea,

2005
04:51:07.479 --> 04:51:12.520
and sometimes as we get older in life, perhaps at

2006
04:51:12.759 --> 04:51:27.080
times we have forgotten relaxing completely. It's not only a

2007
04:51:27.439 --> 04:51:51.599
wonderfully pleasant experience, it's also really easy. It's very very

2008
04:51:52.159 --> 04:51:54.000
easy to.

2009
04:51:54.159 --> 04:51:54.520
Let go.

2010
04:51:56.520 --> 04:51:57.639
Because that's all it is.

2011
04:51:57.799 --> 04:51:58.319
It's just.

2012
04:52:01.759 --> 04:52:13.240
Decided to that game. And when you press the play

2013
04:52:13.319 --> 04:52:23.560
button on my recordings, you have given permission for my

2014
04:52:23.840 --> 04:52:33.000
voice to election. When you press that play button, you

2015
04:52:33.119 --> 04:52:44.599
have given me permission for my words to effect in

2016
04:52:44.759 --> 04:53:01.479
a positive, openly, a positive way, opening up the ND

2017
04:53:03.360 --> 04:53:13.919
to useful and healing suggestions.

2018
04:53:18.479 --> 04:53:19.119
We can have.

2019
04:53:23.720 --> 04:53:31.119
Such a pas and effect how you feel right now,

2020
04:53:35.919 --> 04:53:45.720
as well as those changes that continue long after the

2021
04:53:45.880 --> 04:53:57.560
recording ends, Those changes within the continue to flourish at

2022
04:53:57.639 --> 04:54:15.639
the world, transforming your life in positude beautiful way, allowing

2023
04:54:16.119 --> 04:54:22.680
you to move forward in your life in the courage

2024
04:54:23.000 --> 04:54:41.720
that choose for yourself. This feeling, this feeling there in

2025
04:54:41.959 --> 04:55:06.759
experience of safety, comfort, calmness, This feels so nice, such

2026
04:55:06.840 --> 04:55:22.319
a healthy place to be, and that postility grows within

2027
04:55:22.479 --> 04:55:35.200
it every day forward.

2028
04:55:38.959 --> 04:55:44.159
You had to find that you are the axed.

2029
04:55:46.159 --> 04:55:58.599
Physically and in your mind is relaxed. And it's not

2030
04:55:58.799 --> 04:56:04.360
that you're thinking slower, it's just that your mind.

2031
04:56:04.200 --> 04:56:06.639
Would be less. I looked up.

2032
04:56:08.159 --> 04:56:12.279
Unnecessary negativity.

2033
04:56:15.439 --> 04:56:17.520
Because from now your.

2034
04:56:17.560 --> 04:56:20.959
Mind rejects negativity.

2035
04:56:24.959 --> 04:56:26.919
From now you're going.

2036
04:56:26.840 --> 04:56:38.439
To start noticing when negativity arises, you can just say stop,

2037
04:56:43.520 --> 04:56:53.479
stop and the negativity turn around and believe your mind

2038
04:57:01.520 --> 04:57:21.439
stop and then negativity disappear. That you notice that you

2039
04:57:22.799 --> 04:57:36.560
feel way on the next then you probably expected. Now

2040
04:57:40.080 --> 04:57:43.279
congratulate yourself because.

2041
04:57:43.040 --> 04:57:45.959
You are the person that has done this.

2042
04:57:47.720 --> 04:57:53.159
You are the one that has opened your mind up

2043
04:57:53.880 --> 04:57:55.639
to the simple face.

2044
04:57:58.520 --> 04:57:59.479
And you can.

2045
04:58:01.200 --> 04:58:12.759
Or nst body ended mind. You fen mind up to

2046
04:58:15.080 --> 04:58:15.919
the birthright.

2047
04:58:16.119 --> 04:58:23.599
Will be able to just fall asleep easily when you

2048
04:58:24.319 --> 04:58:41.000
choose that's a nice fearing anything who's nice? Doesn't that

2049
04:58:44.119 --> 04:58:44.959
to feel.

2050
04:58:48.159 --> 04:58:48.639
Way?

2051
04:58:49.240 --> 04:58:53.439
The energy is splitting through your body in your mind.

2052
04:58:59.680 --> 04:59:10.799
MS spend time a special place where negativity can know

2053
04:59:11.000 --> 04:59:12.279
how the inter.

2054
04:59:18.479 --> 04:59:19.959
Negativity is bad.

2055
04:59:21.040 --> 04:59:29.360
It's bad. It's more allowed. Dream doesn't doesn't. This doesn't

2056
04:59:29.560 --> 04:59:37.279
deserve to be here, doesn't be long here. Negativity has

2057
04:59:37.360 --> 04:59:40.400
in no place in your life.

2058
04:59:50.479 --> 04:59:59.520
Exclude for more comfort or or relaxation.

2059
05:00:04.880 --> 05:00:23.919
Peace was the lasts.

2060
05:00:25.439 --> 05:00:34.119
Just said.

2061
05:00:47.880 --> 05:00:57.799
The countdown out twenty. The count contained two bucks.

2062
05:01:05.639 --> 05:01:07.400
If you go to say.

2063
05:01:11.119 --> 05:01:27.279
Different, he would say, to what is trust? Who think changed?

2064
05:01:27.360 --> 05:01:28.959
She could feel to

2065
05:01:43.040 --> 05:02:01.880
Wednesday das