Aug. 21, 2025
(music) (10 hours) I bored myself to sleep | LMBYTS #1417 | Jason Newland | 21st August 2025

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Hello, Hello, and welcome to Jason new Land dot com. Mama, Mama, mama, muma. Hello, Hello,
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welcome to Jasonnewland dot com. My name is Jason new
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and yeah, I'm here with Vinny, who just woke me
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up a P. Kennedy early in the morning.
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Uh.
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I thought he wanted something to eat, so I got
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him some new breakfast. He didn't really eat much food yesterday.
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He had dried food, but he didn't eat much wet food.
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I just put it on the floor or on a bowl,
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you know, and just chuck it on the floor. I'm
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not a cave man. And he's it's does He's not interested.
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So he's just.
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Lying here next to me, very quiet, looks like he's thinking,
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like he's contemplating, almost like he's got some kind of
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philosophical dilemma he's battling with. And you might think, oh,
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how did I come to that conclusion by looking at
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the back of his head.
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I don't know.
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Maybe it's it's just a feeling, just just yeah, maybe
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an invisible emotional, spiritual even connection that we have. And
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you may be wondering where I'm going with this, and
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so am I. I'm really I've got no idea what
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I'm talking about right now. But then, how how often
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do I know what I'm talking about? How often? I
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mean quite a lot. It's just me just waffling on
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about nothing. And it seems to be another case of
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that particular activity occurring again, yes, sir.
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So.
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Hoh tired, mm hmmm, so so so so so yesterday, Oh,
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I had to do my pit forms, my personal independence
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payment forms, and look, loot. I put them off. I
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put them off for about a week and not a week,
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about a week, yeah, about a week, and then yesterday
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I had nine days to get it back to them. Y.
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It's so I decided that's it. I'm gonna get on
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with it. I'm gonna do it. I want to get
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down to it. I'm gonna, you know, cut my toenails.
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I'm gonna I have three baths. I was gonna try
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and invent a new a new way of cooking fish fingers,
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a way that's never been done before, maybe discovers the
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a new alternative for the wheel. Pretty much anything but
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to fill the pit forming. I was looking for a
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distractions excuses not to do that form, fill it in
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because it's not.
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It.
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I just didn't find it easy. I didn't, really I didn't. Yeah,
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it wasn't particularly the enjoyable, and I got it. I
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did it. I did do it, and I made a
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bit of a hash up of it. They may well
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send it back. I mean, honestly, I think I'm probably
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going to be the only person who gets their pitforms
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sent back to them graded like A to D. Honestly,
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I've been probably be like D minus, like needed more work,
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more preparation. You know. Way, why do you keep talking
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about donuts. There's gonna be lots of weird for sort
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of probably comments on there about it. I mean, we
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didn't need to know about yours toenails, so I need
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to cut my toenails. I think that's what it's now
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in my mind. I mean, don't get me wrong. My
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toenails aren't like out of control. They're not living their
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own life. You know, I'm not getting woken up at
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two in the morning one of my toenails that are
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coming back from a nightclub.
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I'm not.
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My toenails are fine and is still intact, but they're
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just getting a little bit long. When I say long,
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you know, nothing weird. They're not, you know, I haven't
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got like the local paper newspaper, like begging me for pictures,
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because there's nothing like that. They're not unusually long h
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just long, long good. That's all. That's all it is.
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Do you think I sound like James Bond? Roger Roger Bond?
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That's the word is? My name is Jason nom name's
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My name is Newland, Jason new Land, None of them?
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Who is he have a Bond? George Lasonby? How weird
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is that one James Bond movie? Just one? His name
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stayed famous being the second James Bond. Wait a minute,
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I thought it was Roger Miller. Who is the second
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James Bond? Roger Miller, No, George Lasenby. Apparently. I think
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he didn't want to do it again. He didn't enjoy
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the experience, I think.
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Or.
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Some other reason. There's going to be a reason, isn't
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there why he didn't do a second one? And I
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don't know about you. I mean I don't know where
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where you live in the world, And I don't know
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what you're doing right now. I mean you might be
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might we doing yoga? I don't know, die getting funny
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looks from the other people on the bus. I don't know.
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But in my country, you know, the country that I'm
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in charge of. They still the TV channels still, you know,
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the main terrestrial channels still show Chains Bond movies. And
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bearing in mind all the different Chains Bonds that they've
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been and there's been a few. Now, can I remember
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the last time that George Lazonba's movie was on television,
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his version of Jam's Bond. No, I'll wait a minute.
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I know it's yesterday, That's what I'm thinking about it,
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and it wasn't. I can't remember. They never put it on.
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Well I'm not saying they never put it on, but
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they rarely put even the It's like the early Change
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Bondom movies that seemed to be on that, you know,
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sort of Christmas and not Christmas, but you know, during
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the daytime kind of holiday season, it seems to be
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the Roger Moore or Sean Connery. Roger Moore hasn't made
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a Change Bondom movie for six hundred years. I always
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liked Roger Moore. There was something about him I liked,
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you know, there was the old what was that he
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was in Tony Curtis. Him and Tony Curtis are on
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a TV show in the sixties, A good TV show.
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The chemistry was really good, it was funny, it was bright, colorful.
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Oh what was it called. I forget, but it was.
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I quite liked it. Not in the sixties because I
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wasn't alive in the sixties, but before, you know, when
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I was alive. Most of the TV programs I've enjoyed
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have been when I've been alive. Okay, that sounded weird. Oh,
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I forget the name of the TV show, but it's
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a good TV show. Roger Moore before being James Bond,
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before changing his name to James Bond, he was Simon
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Templar The Saint Do Do Do Do Do? Which I
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don't think is the do do Do Do Do Do?
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Something like that the Saint. It's very little difference between
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the Saint and James Bond, except that James Bond is
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a little bit more determined, a little bit more happy.
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Maybe it's almost like the same character. He even looks
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the same. I don't know why why it was called
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the Saint, because they had a different version in the
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early eighties, I think, and it was a Saint, but
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it was a new actor called Ian Ogilvy. It was great,
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really really good I've never seen the original, so I
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had nothing to compare it with. But I still think
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ian Orgraphy was great. But the advert show before the
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TV show came on, do do you do something like that?
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And he had a halo above his head. He'd look
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up and I thought, I gotta get me one of them.
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That is so cool. It's like almost like he winked
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to himself and this halo just appeared above his head,
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this light. I thought, wow. And I remember saying to
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my stepmom, because this is before the TV show came on,
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I said, is can he turn himself invisible? She said,
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you have to wait and see. Now. Clearly she knew
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that he wasn't going to go invisible because she had
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been around in the sixties and she'd seen the original
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one with Roger Moor. I said, has he got superpowers?
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Can you fly? And she said You're going to have
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to wait and see. I said, has he got super speed?
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She said what I said, Well super speed? For example,
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if someone chucked an egg, a rotten egg, at him,
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would you be able to just like stop the egg,
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just take it out of the air because everything's moving
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so slowly, and replace it with a nice fresh egg
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and then go and stand back where he was so
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that he gets covered in the nice ec rather than
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the off ec. And she said no, but why would
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you want to do that? I said, you mean, why
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would you can't be going to be hit by a
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smelly off agche would you? She said yeah, but if
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he could move extra fast. Firstly, I've got two questions.
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I said, okay, so you got one question left. She
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said no, I've got two questions. I said, so you're
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not including how wayman? How's a statement, wasn't it? She
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said yeah. I said, okay, you haven't got anette two them,
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only nine. She said, all right, but you should know
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a difference beween a statement and a question. And I
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said I'm still learning, I said, and you wouldn't believe
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what else? Step mummy? She said, well, I said, they're
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only trying to teach me French French. I've only just
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learned to what a false stop is in English and
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they're trying to teach me another language. She said, I know.
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I tried to have a word with them. I said,
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you did. I said, yeah, I tried to let him
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know that. And you weren't really perhaps up for learning
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a new language, especially French. Just didn't didn't think that
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you'd be he wanted to do it, and that you
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wouldn't be able to do it. I said, okay, so
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how did it get on? She said that I know
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what do you mean? So I couldn't understand them? But
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it was French? Okay, I said, step mom? He said yes, stepson,
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she said, she said, he said, I don't know someone's talking.
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I said, when you asked her the question to the
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French teacher, you know, when you said, oh, you know,
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when you made this statement, sorry that perhaps I wasn't
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ready to learn a new language. She said, yeah, I said,
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with you in the office. She said no. I said,
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we you in the canteen? She said no. I said,
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were you on the roof? She giggled, and he said no,
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I wasn't on a roof. I said, in that case,
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were you per chance sitting in the classroom with all
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the other pupils. She said yeah, How did you know that?
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I said, okay, And you know, just be a reminder
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when you're in that classroom with the other pupils learning French.
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Am I correct in saying that you could only speak
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in French? There's no English speaking at all, and she
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said we we we we. I said, oh, I will
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go if you need to, and we both laughed because
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I should explain this. We like going. We we means
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yes yes in France because in France, you know, if
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you're listening to France, you're already going to be probably
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be aware of this. I mean it might be it
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might be new information, but in France this might blow
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your mind. But you know, anyway, I feel like I'm
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kind of letting I give too much away in these podcasts.
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Too much can knowledge Anyway, In France, they have a
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different language, they speak different It's almost like they've got
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a different word for everything. And we we means yes yes,
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but only here we we need means got to do?
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We we like and number one like we were not
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not literally I don't and I don't shout out we
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when I unate, I don't, I don't I sometimes do
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sometimes do you ever stand on a little stare when
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you go to a toilet? And do we we just
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to pretend to be taller, like, oh, this is what
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it feels like. I can't be the only one that
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does that. Anyway, I said, so you was in the classroom,
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she said, yeah, I said, you can only speak French.
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She said, yeah, so that's probably the problem. There's a miscommunication.
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He was probably if I'm just guessing speaking French and
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you don't know any French. And she said yeah. But
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there's something about him. He's very captivating. I said, do
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you mean the big box of chocolates he has on
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his desk that everyone can just help themselves. She said yeah, Oh,
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I was lovely. I said, fair enough, but not lovely
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enough to try and learn a new language. And she said, well,
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maybe not. I said see, And then she said something
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very weird to me. She said, do you see j J.
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I said, yes, step Mummy wondering. You know, she never
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called me that before, I said. She said, I got
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a question for you. I said, all right, come on.
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She said, do you remember why we're talking about French
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lessons and boxes of chocolate on the teacher's desk.
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And I said, I'll be honest with you, I'm not sure.
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We kind of yeah, I don't really know. It's I
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don't know. She said, yeah, you sound confused. I said, well,
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I'm not confused. I'm just I'm interested, very mildly interested
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in what comes next, because I don't really know how
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I got here to this part of the recording, and
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on his face, it's not the first time I've ended
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up in the middle of nowhere conversationally. But I'm trying
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to find a way out so i can get back
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to the original content or subject matter that was being
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verbally discussed. And my stepmot shouted out the Saint said,
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