(Overnight Music) #24 THE NAKED ELVES AND THE LAZY SHOEMAKER - Jasons Bed Time Story Time

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name's Jason Newland and this is Jason's Bedtime Story Time. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. Now on this podcast, generally what I do is I read a story like a fairy tale story, a child's story and I adapt it a little bit.

So you can listen to this, get yourself comfortable sitting in a chair or maybe lying down on a bed and not a bed of nails, obviously a comfortable bed. Unless you're a yogi, maybe a bed of nails is comfortable to you, but I can't really see how, where would that even come from, where did the idea of that come from? But that's not really relevant. So I'm going to read this story to you and if nothing else, it's a distraction.

It allows you to relax. My nice boring voice can lull and drown out some of the pointless maybe negative thoughts that may be going on in your mind. It just gives you a bit of a break, a bit of a bit of a chance to feel calm.

There is always a chance of a few background sounds because I'm recording this during the day and it's a particularly nice day. So there's a chance that people will be in the garden. Sometimes the squirrels congregate and party, but we'll just see what happens.

It should be fine, hopefully. So the today's story is called The Elves and a Shoemaker. So I'm just going to read what it says.

I'm reading off the internet and the website is called storyberries.com. So there you go. It says here it's a five-minute story, age 7 to 12. All five-minute bedtime stories, all fairy tales.

Okay, right. So it starts with saying a shoemaker and his wife have magical assistance from elves every evening when they go to bed. But do the elves need help too? That's the question.

And I'll be honest with you, I'm quite enthralled and I'm getting itchy feet. I just want to know what happens next. I don't know about you.

So there's a little warning that says here, this is a vintage fairy tale and may contain violence. We would recommend parents to read beforehand. If your child is sensitive to such themes, such as violence, then please don't read to them.

Okay. I think most children love violence, don't they? I've done a few of these fairy tales over the last couple of years. I think 32, 31, 32.

And I am sometimes quite surprised at how dark some of them are, if I'm honest. They're not always, you know, they're just a bit, you know, a bit grim, excuse the pun. So anyway, I'm going to read it.

I'm going to put on a pretentious voice, my reading, my pretentious reading voice. Okay. There once was a shoemaker who worked very hard and was very honest, but still he could not earn enough to live upon.

Before I was joking about the pretentious voice, I am going to actually read it like this. And at last all he had in the world was gone, save just leather enough to make one pair of shoes, because he was a shoemaker. Then he cut his leather out, all ready to make up the next day, meaning to rise early in the morning to his work.

His conscious was clear and his heart light amidst all his troubles. So he went peaceably to bed, left all his cares to heaven and soon fell asleep. He was a very peaceful sleeper, but he had trouble finding relationships because of his terrible snoring.

But that aside, in the morning after he had said his prayers, he sat himself down to his work. When, to his great wonder, there stood the shoes, all ready made upon the table. The good man knew not what to say or what to think at such an odd thing happening.

He looked at the workmanship. There was not one false stitch in the whole job. All was so neat and true that it was quite a masterpiece.

The same day a customer came in and the shoes suited him so well that he willingly paid a price much higher than usual for them. And the poor shoemaker, with the money, brought leather enough to make two more pairs of shoes. In the evening he cut out the work and went to bed early.

Now I'm thinking, he wasn't that desperate for money otherwise he'd have done some work during the day, wouldn't he? What did he do the rest of the day? Watch telly? Watch Judge Judy? He wasn't a little bit lazy if you ask me, but I don't mean to judge. So he went to bed early so that he might get up and begin bedtimes next day. Begin bedtimes next day.

Betimes next day. Okay, so I guess that means first thing in the morning. Some of this old English is quite difficult to understand.

Anyway, but he was saved all the trouble for when he got up in the morning the work was done ready to his hand. In other words the shoes were made already. Ready to his hand? What on earth does that mean? Soon in came buyers who paid him handsomely for his goods so that he brought leather enough for four more pairs of shoes.

Again like the night before he cut out the work and prepared the leather in the evening. So again he did nothing throughout the day and in the morning as you can probably guess he needed to urinate. But after urination he found four more pairs of shoes already made and created.

He was flummoxed. He looked up to the sky and he said, where did these shoes come from? So he really got a bit unusual. Didn't quite understand what was going on and this kept happening.

Every night he would go to bed laying out the leather for many, many, many pairs of shoes. Each day growing more and more as he sold more and more. He'd get ready in the evening, spend all day doing jigsaw puzzles or whatever it was he did and the good man soon became thriving and well off again.

Now one evening about Christmas time as he and his wife were sitting over the fire chatting together. Oh he now got married. He was so rich that his wife didn't mind the snoring.

He said to her, I should like to sit up and watch tonight that we may see who is it that comes and does my work for me. The wife liked the thought so they left a light burning and hid themselves in a corner of the room behind a curtain that was hung up there and watched what would happen.

As soon as it was midnight they came in two little naked dwarfs and they sat themselves upon the shoemaker's bench, took up all the work that was cut out and began to ply with their little fingers, stitching and wrapping and tapping away at such a rate that the shoemaker was all wonder and could not take his eyes off them.

I imagine there'd be a few reasons not to take your eyes off them. Naked dwarfs. I mean that's that image is etched in my brain now.

I don't know if I'll ever sleep again. And they went on and until the job was quite done and the shoes stood ready for use upon the table. This was long before daybreak and then they bustled away as quick as lightning.

The next day the wife said to the shoemaker, these little whites have made us rich and we ought to be thankful to them and give them a good turn if we can. I'm quite sorry to see them run about as they do and indeed it is not very decent for they have nothing upon their backs to keep off the cold and they're not keeping their willies warm.

I'll tell you what, I will make each of them a shirt and a coat and some underpants and a waistcoat and a pair of pantaloons in the bargain and do you make each of them, you should make each of them a pair of shoes.

The thought pleased the good cobbler very much and one evening when all the things were ready they laid them on the table instead of the work that they used to cut out. So there was no leather for shoes, just things that they had created themselves for these little dwarfs. And then they themselves hid again to watch what the little elves would do.

About midnight in they came, dancing and skipping, hopping around the room and then they went down to their work as usual. But when they saw the clothes lying for them, they laughed and chuckled and seemed mightily delighted. Then they dressed themselves in the twinkling of an eye and danced and capered and sprang about as merry as could be.

Till at last they danced out of the door and away over the green. The good couple saw them no more but everything went well with them from that time forward as long as they lived. But unfortunately they had to actually do some work now.

So he couldn't sit indoors watching television, drawing on their etch-a-sketch and talking about politics. They had to do some actual work. So in reality if they hadn't made the clothes for the little dwarfs they would be much better off and they wouldn't have to ever do any work at all.

So I'm not really sure if it's a nice ending to the story. It's not an unhappy ending. I mean the dwarfs seemed quite happy.

But why didn't they come back? Why did they stay away after receiving clothes and those gifts? Why is Judge Judy still on television? Where do pigeons go to die? All these questions. So many questions. But the main thing is they all lived happily ever after like so many characters in stories.

And that's the main thing. The end. Now go to sleep.