(music) (10 hours) Uncle Sausages is in Sausage Heaven Whisper Sunday LMBYTS #1403 Jason Newland 3rd August 2025

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland, please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. This is whisper sunday, is it sunday, it is sunday, yeah, so I'm going to talk about some stuff today, so this might not be the correct thing to listen to to go to sleep, because I'm just going to talk about how I'm feeling, to start off with kind of, I'll just say it, I might as well just say it, instead of beating around the bush, Uncle Sausage has passed away on, during the night, last night, no, it was actually after, I found out after I made the recording yesterday,

so it's during friday night he passed away, peacefully, and it's really weird, it's just, I can't, I can't grasp my mind around what's happened, it doesn't make sense to me, logically, I can get it, he was ill, and he died, you know, he had a serious illness, and his organs shut down, and he passed away, it's simple, really, but at the same time, six weeks ago, he was fine, well he wasn't, but he felt fine, it's just weird, in such a short time, especially the last week, I can't,

I felt guilty because of the Covid, I wasn't able to visit him for a week, I saw him twice before he left, so I saw him on Thursday and Friday, and I knew that he was near the end, the nurses said that he had hours, if not days left, so I knew that, so it's not a shock, in a sense, but it's an overall shock to my life, yeah, I just, I'm just confused, very confused, yes, I can't, yeah, I'm trying to make sense of it, in a positive way,

you know, I'm not sitting here feeling sorry for myself, or being overly dramatic, or, I don't think, but what I have noticed, wow have I noticed is, yesterday, I was very irritable, to the point of wanting to shout out the window for the neighbours to shut the fuck up, so I was really, in fact I did shout, but not out the window, because they were making so much noise, and it was bugging me, I mean it bugs me anyway, but this is like on a,

it was bugging me on a different level of intensity, and I wanted to do something, I wanted to physically do something, which is how I used to be, when I was younger, and I'm, you know, a bit more chilled with age, and just generally, not just age, but with practice, and purposely, sort of trying to calm myself down, and I had a little re-taste of that, feelings, and yeah, didn't like it, anger, I guess, just had a bit of anger in me, I am angry about him, about, now this is sad,

because, it's not, okay, it, this is not necessarily logical, or nice, but I know some horrible people, I know some people that are just, they've got no redeeming qualities, maybe they have, but it's hidden from me, and they've done horrible things to people, and they continue to do it, and you've got Uncle Sausages, who didn't cause problems for anyone really, he's just kept to himself, he's a nice man, loved, very passionate about sport, excited every day about the next day coming up, now I'm not saying I think other people should suffer,

instead of him, that's not what I'm saying, I just don't think he should have suffered, if we push it even further, really, he deserves to be alive more than me, because he's nicer, he's a nicer person than me, really, he appreciated being alive, more than I ever have, you know, I'm a miserable old git a lot of the time, he was happy, he was a happy man, and that just makes me feel a bit of a fraud, or unappreciative towards what I do have, which at the moment is,

I guess I've got a degree of health, I don't know what my health is like, but I'm here, I don't feel healthy, to be honest, but I feel, I'm here, I feel better than I did last week, that's for sure, but, or do I, I don't know what day is it, Sunday, Monday, you know, when I had COVID, I mean, didn't feel great then, but maybe I'm just feeling sorry for myself, but I don't think I am, I'm just upset, and then there's the whole, I mean,

I feel bad that I didn't get to see him for that week, because he was upset with me, I was trying to explain to him that I was ill, can't you just come and bring me some drinks, I said, no, I'm ill, you don't get it, I'm really, and it's very hard to tell someone that's terminally ill, that you're ill, with a cold, and expect them to have some kind of sympathy, no, I didn't know it was COVID, but, I mean, COVID is a cold, isn't it, it's a flu, it's,

people have it at different levels, mine wasn't bad, I was just ill, and then I was recovered, my uncle had it, and he didn't recover, back in 2020, so, that's the reason why I didn't go into hospital, well, apart from the fact that it's against the law, but, once I found out it was COVID, now, I know some people just say, OK, I'm going to go and visit my friend, I'm going to carry on what I'm doing, the rules don't apply to me, now, I know, and maybe in the past,

I don't know if I'd have been like that in the past, but, I like to think I wouldn't, because I think my uncle was ill, so, he was very poorly, and COVID got him, so, COVID finished him off, I didn't want to do that to other people, because, you know, Uncle Sausage's, his was peaceful, if I'd have gone in there with COVID, his last week might have been atrocious, so, I don't, yeah, I know I've already talked about that, the idea of spreading COVID to people, it's not really my thing,

even colds, because I know some people, I tell you, I did get a message about this, thank you, you know who you are, but, about, you know, having like a low immune system and stuff, and doing the right thing sometimes is not a good idea, last year, I went to see a nurse to have my annual check-up thing, my stomach's gurgling, so, my anal check-up is because of the bipolar, and I'm on medication, so, they checked my liver, my kidneys, my, I suppose, my heart, my blood, and, you know, they do all that check-in to

make sure that I'm okay, which is a positive thing, but last time they found out that my blood sugar level was very low, yeah, when are they going to give me my next medical?

So, I stopped having sugar and cut down, I've not cut down completely, but I have, and I did lose weight, I'm under, I'm under 15 stone now, I was 16 stone, so, I'm hovering, I'm moving between 14 and a half and 15, that's kind of my hovering stage now, and I'm slimmer, which is good, oh yeah, the nurse was wearing a mask, this is at my doctor's practice, the GP practice, so I said, do you want me to wear a mask?

She said, no, it's okay, I said, we can share if you like, which is a weird thing to say, and she explained to me that she was immune deficient, so she had a condition where her immune system was practically zero, so she wore a mask, and you know what?

Again, no, I think I did wear a mask, yeah, I did wear a mask, and again, I was like, that's somebody, can you imagine, she's chosen to do a job where she's putting her own life at risk every day, she could be sitting at home, keeping away from people, but no, she goes to work, and she helps people in an environment, so she's a nurse, she's around all kinds of, you know, illnesses and stuff, just every time she steps inside the doctor's surgery, she's surrounded by people that are unwell,

she chooses to do that, to help people, it's amazing isn't it really, if you think about it, what a phenomenal person, that's dedication, if you want to be a record breaker, yeah, so that's it really, it's four o'clock, it's a quarter past four in the morning, I went to bed at eight o'clock last night, I'll be honest, I've just been restless, I was restless during the night, I was restless the night before, it's something, I'm just a little bit disturbed by the whole thing,

I'm now wondering if some of the neighbours are planning to break into his flat to try and see if there's anything worth stealing, so they can buy themselves crack, and that's not even an exaggeration, that's what they're like around here, some of them, it's weird, so we're going to have two new tenants living in this place in the next few months, I wonder what it's going to be, will they be decent people or will it be more of the same, more chaos, that tends to be what happens now,

I was just thinking about over the fence, so we had the amount of chaotic people we had living over there over the years, seriously, it was just, there's one flat, and there's been three tenants and they've all been absolute, well just, I suppose vulnerable is the right word, but yeah, degree of chaos, there was a couple living there, there's been a few people living there since I've lived here, but it's a couple and they're always arguing, and the bloke in there, he would, yeah he would order pallets,

then he'd break up the pallets during the day, then burn them at night, he did this for like a whole summer, and then one night he set fire to the lawn, so I just wake up and I notice that the garden's very bright out there over the fence, so I go outside, and the lawn, it basically, he was using a dustbin to light the, you know to have the fire in, and the dustbin had fallen over, so it spread all over the grass, and the grass was on fire, and I came outside, just to sort of check it out, because I wanted to make sure it didn't spread, and the bloke was upset that I was outside, like, what are you doing out here?

Okay, so that was weird, another time his girlfriend was over here, she was lying in the road outside, she wasn't injured, she was just lying in the road, and her boyfriend was smashing up the furniture in the flat, and it was just like weird, they moved out, they probably got kicked out, and then another lady moved in, that exact flat, and she used to scream at herself, she'd have arguments with herself, that went on for hours, like, you know, daily, and then she left, and then we got another one move in,

really loud, just loud, and it's hard for me, I grew up in chaos, being around crazy people, shouting, and aggressive, and swearing, doing stupid things, and saying horrible things, so I grew up in that, I spent years living that lifestyle when I was very young, I didn't like it then, I don't like it now, I had my moments, I'll be honest, I had my moments when I'm a little bit like that myself, but I don't, I don't involve other people, I keep it to myself, I know we're all different,

but I don't live a chaotic lifestyle, and I won't, I can't do that, I mean that's part of the reason why I didn't reproduce, it's part of the reason why I'm not in a relationship with someone that is gonna be, I don't know, I just don't want that kind of lifestyle, shouting and arguing, and just, nah, my stomach's gurgling really bad, it's a proper gurgler, yeah, I'm not, I didn't, I mean I know this is a council estate, but it's like, it's only a few people, honestly, like in my block,

everyone's fine now, okay, there's a, there's a, I get on with everyone, but there's, you know, there's always gonna be problematic people, but it don't really cause me problems, it's just they're living a lifestyle that I don't, I'm not into, and most of the time, the people on the estate are pretty cool, but it just takes a few, one or two really, really loud, obnoxious individuals, and there's one that just spins, just seems to be in the garden all the time, shouting, and then another neighbour always manages to befriend whatever new people move in,

there's a family that love this estate, they don't, they live, they don't live in the council bar, but their family have been here forever, and they just love to be friends with the people on this little council bit, probably, they've been doing it probably for 40, 50 years, so when someone new moves in, they'll find a way in, so they can go into their home, and they can spend time here, and make lots of noise, I don't really get it, to be honest, I mean, I was curious about what Luke's old flat would look like,

once he moved out, and a new person moved in, so I was curious about that, and I have been in there, because a neighbour invited me in, and it was like a different flat, it was weird, same rooms, completely different, and I have been in every flat, apart from one, because I've seen all the different flats in this building, but, and they've all been in my flat as well, including the one that I've not been in, he's only been in it a couple of times, yeah, yeah,

I'm just talking for the sake of talking now, aren't I, so that really, that's all it is, his uncle, sausages, passed away, see, what I didn't realise, I guess I didn't realise how ill he was, it's easy to say that now, isn't it, now he's dead, it's like, well obviously he was ill, but he was, I mean, to say that he was really ill is also just an obvious statement, but there was a question mark that he had, and I had, we had questions, I was like, okay,

so he's got this thing, why can't they do anything about it, why can't they remove it, give him surgery, give him some hope, something, and they said there's nothing they could do, and his question, I kind of had, we had this conversation outside a few weeks ago, in the sun, and I kind of understood where he was coming from, because I felt the same way, it's like, why can't they do something, and I said to the nurse, at the time, why can't you just give him an operation and try and do something,

she said he wouldn't survive an operation, I said that's not a bad thing, give him his condition and whatever, I'm not saying it's a good thing he doesn't survive, but give him that option to go peacefully, and he won't know anything about it, it'll be on the operating theatre table, and if it helps him, it helps him, and if that's it, then that's it, and she said no, it doesn't work like that, operations are expensive, and they don't do them unless there's a chance it's going to help, I don't know,

there's also a part of me thinking about hypnosis and what use is it in situations like this, yeah, I just wonder, on Thursday he was very restless, old uncle sausages, and I started to talk to him, and I did do some hypnosis with him, trying to get him to just calm down, to relax his body, and I didn't really get a chance to do it properly, but I told him that, because he kept moving around, he was unconscious, but he was moving around, he was moving around his arms, raising his arms up,

and his legs, very uncomfortable he was, clearly, because he was moving around, but at the same time, he may have been dreaming, I don't know, but I told him that his arms were heavy, and when I said that to him, he stopped moving his arms around, and I probably talked to him for maybe 10 minutes, maybe longer, just telling him that it's okay to relax, it's okay to let go, and I said that on Friday as well, just telling him it's okay to let go, doesn't have to struggle anymore,

doesn't have to hold on, it's okay to let go, but on Friday he was completely relaxed, he was on a morphine thing, morphine drip, or drive, or whatever it's called, and he was just lying there, I think, I mean it's natural to be thinking about my own life, I suppose, in situations like this, what have I done, what have I accomplished, has there been any purpose to my existence, is kind of the questions I've got, maybe another, a nicer way is, what is my legacy, or will I just be forgotten,

maybe that's it, just be forgotten, but then there's some people that I think do get to live on, in memories, different kinds of memories, so you've got famous writers, musicians, from hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of years ago, some from thousands of years ago, but we don't necessarily know what they were like as people, I think you can probably get kind of an idea of what I'm like, kind of, from some of my recordings, not necessarily a good thing, thousands of hours of me talking, thousands, is that my legacy,

just to leave my ramblings, I don't know, there was no boxing on last night, this month, I think apart from one fight on the 16th of August, there ain't much going on, which is a shame, and in September, I think there's a couple of big fights, there's a big fight in November, I think there's a big one as well, David Benavidez against Calum Smith, David Benavidez is going to win that, David Benavidez, so he's now a world champion, light heavyweight, he was 1-1, 3 times super lightweight, super middleweight champion,

he won it, wait a minute, he was the interim twice and then he was the interim, I think, anyway he's really great, David Benavidez, he's pretty much my favourite boxer, but he hasn't been fighting hugely regularly the last few years, because he was just trawling water waiting to fight Canelo, and Canelo wouldn't fight him, so in the end he went up to light heavyweight, and then that was, wherever he went it was blocked, because Canelo held all the titles, and then he went up to light heavyweight,

and all the titles were all clocked up there as well, and currently Biffle, well he did have to, but he gave up one of the titles, because he's choosing to have another fight with, what's his name, previous champion, Petr Biev, so Biffle and him, I think they're having their third fight, the first fight Petr Biev won, or was it a draw, I can't remember, I think it might have been a draw, blimey, the second one, Biffle won, the third one, I don't know, I'll always give it to Biffle, because he's so good,

to me he's, I'll put him down as pound, personally, pound for pound number one, maybe not, I don't know, I think Usyk deserves to be number one, pound for pound, maybe, it's hard when you've got different weight boxes to really, to compare someone like Inouye, who is, he has to wear heavy boots so he doesn't float off, he's so light, and you've got Usyk who's heavy, heavyweight, I don't know how much he weighs, he doesn't weigh a lot actually, 15 and a half, 16 stone, he's not heavy,

he's heavy but he's not like heavy heavy, everyone he fights is a lot heavier than him, yeah, so I suppose I should just go and have my breakfast now, watch a bit of TV, my brain's a bit vague at the moment, it's just, I don't know, not sure what to do with myself, ah well, thank you for listening, remember to be kind to yourself because you do deserve to be happy, be gentle with yourself, you deserve to feel safe, lots of love, bye