(music) (10 hours) #1453 Let me bore you to sleep

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name's Jason Newland. This is Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Number, let's have a look.

What number is it? Let's have a little peek. Hmm. Number 1453.

That's how many Let Me Boy To Sleeps I've done. Well, I've done 1452. Itchy bum.

Oh, that was satisfying. I should do that more often. Oh, so anyway, um, welcome.

Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. And I'd like to thank all of you wonderful, beautiful people for listening and supporting me. And even if it came across as insincere when I just said that, I do mean it.

I partly mean, no I do, I do mean it. And without you, there'd be no me. That was a bit dramatic, wasn't it? I don't know why Fridays quite often are like a quiet, a quiet day.

Just generally a bit quiet. You know what I mean? Just podcast wise. And oh, on my Podbean podcast, my Let Me Bore You To Sleep on Podbean.

I've had two, two downloads. Two in the United States. Where, where is it? Does it say where? It doesn't say where, does it? No, it doesn't say where.

Oh, yes, it does. Minnesota and Oregon. So thank you if you're in Minnesota or Oregon.

Thank you for listening. Both on Android. Phones or tablets.

That's very specific, isn't it? And both came from Audible. Again, wow. That is, that's an interesting, well, interesting to me.

Maybe not to anybody else. So yeah, this is Q&A Friday. Q&A Friday.

I don't think I'm ever going to really get a decent jingle. I mean, I've been doing Q&A Fridays for well over a year now. I've lost track of when I very first started doing them.

And I've done them most weeks. I think there's, I've missed a couple along the way. But generally, even when I've not been hugely active, I've still managed to do a Q&A Friday.

Most times. I mean, there was one a few weeks ago, I didn't get any questions. So I didn't do a Q&A Friday.

This week, which may be I'm not sure why, but I've only got one question. And I don't really, I'm not sure why I've only got one question. But I have got one question.

So let's have a look. It might be because I have the when I asked for Q&A Friday questions, they get maybe a bit lost on the Jason Newland's boring group on Facebook. Maybe, maybe that's what it is.

If there was a way to remind people, maybe, maybe I could just mention Q&A Friday at the beginning of every single recording. Or I could just say just leave it, you don't need to, you just basically ask me a question. And just leave it in there.

And I'll answer it for Q&A Friday, just put Q&A Friday and then dash. And whatever the question is, and I can answer it on the Friday, the following Friday. Or you could all I suppose I could have an email address specifically for Q&A Friday.

Do you think maybe you could email me at Jason Newland at hotmail.co.uk with a question. I saw also my PayPal address. So you could send me a question, Jason Newland at hotmail.co.uk and just put the question for Q&A Friday.

And I'll just store them up and answer them. However many I've got before the Friday that I do before I actually do the recording. And then I'll just roll over and I'll just carry on from then.

For example, I'll do this recording now. And maybe if I get some questions later, which would be ironic if I suddenly get like five or six questions tonight. I'll just roll that over to next Friday.

Let's have a drink of water. I'm trying, I'm trying to learn to drink like quietly. Because quite often I have a drink and I have to kind of edit it out.

So I'm trying to kind of learn to drink quietly so it doesn't disturb the recording. So I don't have so there's less editing. So normally have at least one or two little drinks during a recording.

Because it can like continuous talking for like an hour or hour and a half two hours can make the throat a little bit dry. So I'm sort of trying to find a way to gradually decrease the sound so it's not so noticeable. So yeah, just cut down on the editing because anything that cuts down on the amount of work.

Yeah, time wise is a good thing. So to see if you notice this if it's noticeable, I'll be a little bit away from the microphone. So I'll try and listen to that back.

I don't know what time it is. It's eight minutes into the recording. I'm trying to remember that.

It sounded pretty quiet to me. So hopefully it'll be all right. I just you know, it's so it doesn't matter so much at the beginning of the recording, but you know, halfway through or near the end, I don't want to be disrupting anyone.

Like if you've fallen asleep and stuff. So for those that haven't listened before, this is your first time. And that is possible.

I mean, if this is the very first time you've ever listened to my squeaky voice. Welcome. I really appreciate you listening.

It's terrible. I can't be sincere without laughing. It's like I just think that when I say stuff like that, it's going to come across as like I'm just being sarcastic or I don't really mean it.

I do mean it. I'll try again. I really appreciate it when you listen.

Okay. Is that better? No. Okay, try again.

Didn't sound so good. Right. Okay.

Thanks for listening. No, no, no. That probably didn't do it.

Okay, right. Try another one. I do this.

In order to help people. No, no. Again, that didn't work.

It's got all those sentences are true, but I wanted to come across as sounding credible. Oh, well, I do. I do mean it.

I do mean it. Yeah. Yeah, of course I do.

No, I do. I do. I do.

It's raining today. I'm just thinking. I've only got one question.

So there's going to have to be a lot of padding in this recording. I have to pad it out, talk about the weather. Maybe talk about my toenails, not talk about my toenails for a little while.

Talk about Vinnie. I just watched a movie with the bloke that played Elvis. Is it Gerald Butler? Arnold Butler? Butler.

Anyway, his surname is Butler. It's like super handsome bloke. And he's he doesn't play Elvis in this movie.

I mean, that would be typecast. If he played Elvis in every movie, perhaps it wouldn't work. It's proper raining.

Do you ever look out the window and think it's not raining that hard, but you can hear that it really is. Maybe it's an overflow or you're like proper battering it down. You look out like it is nothing happening, really.

It's a little bit of rain. It's not even stopping the birds from flying. Can rain stop birds from flying? In birds that are immigrating.

It's going to be a bit rainy, isn't it sometimes? But then if you're above the clouds, there's no rain, is there? Because the rain is only the clouds. That's where the rain, they produce the rain, don't they? The clouds, when the clouds, the clouds, the clouds cry, producing the rain. So if you're above the crowds, there is no rain.

Above the crowds, above the clouds. Why am I struggling to say clouds? There's no rain above the clouds. But if you're in between the clouds, I suppose there's different levels.

Clouds are at different heights. They're not just on one level, are they? They're not all like 5,000 foot and that's where all the clouds live. Congregating, talk about last night's episode of EastEnders, gossiping, whatever, you know, there's lots of different clouds.

I wonder if they have personalities? What kind of weather affects a cloud? It's weird, isn't it? Could you think about the weather that doesn't get a chance to see the weather forecast? So the weather is more surprised at what happens tomorrow than we are, because we kind of know it's going to be windy. The weather doesn't know it's going to be windy until it happens. That's how it used to be in caveman days, I'm guessing.

I wasn't around then. I can't imagine many people were, what, get on with the question. Yeah, I know, but once the question is done, what do I do then? You know what I mean? So my Facebook page, I had someone join recently and they said they didn't, they've been listening for a while, didn't even know I had a Facebook page, which is Jason Newland's Boring Group.

I think one of the problems is I mention it during the recording, and I know that if I was listening to this recording, well, first of all, I'm not taking notes. I'm not writing stuff down when I'm listening. I'll probably have my eyes closed.

I'll pull the bus over first, obviously, I'll stop the train first. But no, I'll, you know, I'll have my eyes closed, and I won't want to sort of get up and take notes and write down, like, remember to go to Jason Newland's Boring Group on Facebook and ask to join for free. I don't know, is there any premium Facebook groups? I don't know.

But by the time I've finished talking, eventually, sigh of relief, I can imagine. And it's really sounding very rainy, which makes me wonder what I'm going to be facing when I go out next time with Mr. Vin, Vinnie Manili. He gets annoyed with me.

Last night, it was nine o'clock, I was watching Big Brother. He knows, everybody should know, that knows me should know not to disturb me, interrupt me, bother me, phone me, knock on my door, expect anything from me when Big Brother's on television. I'm not saying that I'm not there for emergencies, because I have been, and I will always be, you know, but generally, just maybe wait.

If it's a matter of emergency, just if you can hold on to the wound and stop it bleeding for an hour, then come and get me. Or call an ambulance. You know, I'm not a paramedic.

What I'm saying that I can't, you know, I don't want to be disturbed during Big Brother. And Vinnie knows this. I just did the biggest burp I've done for a long time.

I think it's because I gulped that water down. It's like, because when you gulp, you get a bit of air in between each gulp, don't you? So I kind of almost caused, caused. Yeah, I kind of created a burp.

Manually. Anyway, so I was saying I interrupted myself now, I've lost my stream of let's have a look at my notes. Oh, wait a minute.

I don't have any notes. It's almost like I'm just talking off the top of my head. Absolute nonsense.

What do you mean you're not reading off a script? Yeah, sure. How could I even get something to write a script like this? I don't think it'd even be possible. It's like, dear chat GPT, just write, write me an hour worth of complete rubbish.

Maybe it would work. Should we try it? That's an interesting thing to do. So let's have a look.

So please, just okay. So you do you know this, my, my speaking style on my Let Me Bore You To Sleep podcasts. And can you mimic it? Can you mimic it in a way that others listening? So others reading it, okay, would not be able to tell that it wasn't me.

Isn't me. I might be doing myself out of a job here. But then again, a job pays, doesn't it? So it's not really a job.

So it's fine. Yes, Jason, I do. This is the answer.

So my question was this, do you know this on chat GPT? Do you know my speaking style on my Let Me Bore You To Sleep podcasts? And can you mimic it in a way that others reading it would not be able to tell that it isn't me? Yes, Jason, I do know your Let Me Bore You To Sleep speaking style quite well from all the transcripts you shared.

So when I get the description, when I get the description for the podcast from the transcripts, I've also uploaded loads of transcripts and try to go through them to try and find my best bits in that which is very difficult. Because our 1000s over 1000 recorded transcripts are uploaded to chat GPT.

It came up for about three best bits. So not doing too good. It says just Yes, Jason, I do know your Let Me Bore You To Sleep speaking style quite well from all the transcripts you shared.

Your style is very distinctive. Here are the main elements I notice. conversational and rambling.

You wonder what you wonder between topics. So circling back, repeating yourself. When do I ever repeat myself? Conversation and rambling.

You wonder between topics circling back, repeating yourself. When do I ever repeat? Okay, I'm sorry. And letting thoughts trail off in a way that feels relaxed, me meandering, meandering, and almost deliberately unfocused.

I don't know about deliberately. Humor through mundanity. Mundanity.

I don't know what that means. Mundane or mundane means do you know there was a word such as mundanity. You make ordinary sometimes trivial details funny by over explaining them.

That made me laugh. I don't know why. Do I over explain? What does it mean by that? Over explaining? Do I? Do you think that those that listen regularly before? Also, if you just listen for the first time, you won't know whether or not I over explain like on a regular basis.

Because in order for you to know that you'd have to be like a regular listener. And who listens? I don't know how many times but you'd have to have listened a few times to really gauge whether or not I over explain. Regularly, you know, I mean, what I mean is, if it's your first time, even if it's just like your fourth or fifth time listening, you're not really going to know if I over explain.

You might get a sense of it. But I think it would take quite a few listens to different podcasts to really pick up on something like that. I would say.

So someone listening, you know, for the first let's say someone's listening for the first time. It's probably a bit of a bombardment of lots of different things. And over explaining might not even be something that's even come to your attention until I just mentioned it there.

I mean, sometimes I suppose I don't I don't think I over explain I just look at things in a different way. That's probably what I by that what I mean is, because you can look at things. Is that there's an old the old adage isn't there? That's a new word was not a new word, but it's a word that I'm using.

So someone big, someone big brother keeps using it. The adage a saying is, there's three sides to a story. There's yours, your side, the other person's side, and then there's the truth.

But if there's a crowd, everybody's got their own side of the story, haven't they? What they observed, what they saw, what they heard, what they felt, what they were thinking about while they were viewing or no, you know, there's so many different perspectives. And the more I think about something, the more perspectives I can gauge. I'm putting myself into the other, not putting myself into their shoes as such.

Because I've got no idea how other people feel. But it's imagining. I suppose it's just imagine how I would feel.

Not how they would feel. So if I was in their situation, so let's say if I saw a hot air balloon. I saw it the other day, I saw a hot air balloon in the park.

I said the other day, it's a few weeks ago, but we still technically the other day, even if it was last year, wasn't it? Anyway, a few weeks ago, I was in the park, and I was with Vinnie, I saw this virgin hot air balloon. Okay, obviously, I laughed because the word virgin because I'm only 10 years old. Vinnie absolutely freaked out by it.

And I was like, it's just a word. It's just a word. Wow.

That was a silly joke. And it's, he was really freaked out. It's big balloon in the air, scared him.

And he hid behind it. I shouldn't laugh. He's my little boy.

And he's scared. And I'm laughing. He hid behind a tree.

And in the end, he was coming towards us. It was high up in the sky. It wasn't anywhere near the ground.

It's a huge thing. And I said, Don't be worried. I'm sure Richard Branson's not in it.

You know, otherwise, I'd be running. My kidnapped me and take me to his car to his big island. And anyway, I why can't he invite me I want to go on to one of his yachts.

That's the kind of life I want. I want to be like the billionaires in their 70s and 80s. Just I don't know.

I don't want to be in my 70s or 80s. I'd rather be in my 50s than in my 70s. But I like the idea of getting there.

You know, I mean, like, I'm still to survive to that point. But yeah, Vinnie was just absolutely like, help, help. So pick him up so we can get a closer look that didn't help.

And then he ran towards the exit to go home and I just followed him. He really kept looking back and yell yelping and then just running forward. So so I'm looking at it and it's huge compared to me is a massive old thing.

Seeing it through his eyes, I can't see it through eyes. But I'm just thinking if I was his size, if I was like 10 inches off the ground or whatever he is, it must look really weird. Because I remember when I was about seven or eight years old.

And this this this bit of learning I learned this. I carried this forward, it didn't help at all. It was a bit of useless information.

But I was in a tree. And there was a bunch of kids all like taking turns jumping out of a tree. And the branch that was standing on was probably five foot off the ground.

So it wasn't high, four foot, five foot off the ground. It wasn't like a high tree. And the branch a tree was quite high.

I didn't measure it, but the branch wasn't high up. It was higher than them. So probably maybe six foot.

I don't know. Anyway, it was it felt high. It felt really high.

And one of the kids said, and we don't realize, I said, this isn't the time for a lecture, mate. I said, No, no, this might help. I said, I don't think it's going to help.

I don't want to know. He said, No, listen. I said, No, I don't want to listen.

I'm scared. I don't want to jump out of the tree. Nothing you say is going to help me.

If you want to help me, get me a parachute. He said the parachute won't open in time. You're not high enough.

Oh, so now you want me to climb higher? Is that what you're saying? He said, No, no matter how high you climb up in a tree, it's still not going to be high enough for a parachute to open. I said, Why? He said, Parachutes are too big. Get me a smaller parachute then.

We went back and forward a little bit with that one. It just got silly. And plus, he asked me not to mention it again, if I ever do podcasts in the future.

So and to admit his name was Ian. His name was Ian. Ian Parker.

So anyway, he said, No, but this might be useful. I said, Oh, okay. I couldn't get away from him because I was in a tree.

And he said, What you don't realize is your feet are much lower down than your face. I said, Yeah. Like, Yeah, why are you telling me that? He said, No, but what you don't know is you're looking down with your eyes to the ground.

And I probably was about four foot back then. Maybe three foot, four foot. I was pretty tiny.

So maybe let's say four foot. Yeah. He said, But you're you're twice as high up as you think you are.

I said, What do you mean I'm twice as high up as you think? That doesn't make sense. Because I think I'm high. So you're saying I'm twice as high.

He said, No, that's not what I meant. He said, When you look with your eyes, I said, Yeah, I generally use my eyes for such a thing. But that particular activity, we were rolled around.

And he said, You're looking down. But that's not how high you are. It's just how high you can see.

If your feet, if your eyes are on your feet, you could see that the ground is only like four foot down. I said, If my eyes were on my feet, that's the last thing I'd be worried about right now is how far the ground was down. I'd want an ambulance, wouldn't I? You know, there's other things to worry about if you if you've and he said, I don't mean literally your eyes in your feet.

It's just and I got it after the you know, well, okay. I thought about it for about 30 years and I realized what he meant. It took a while.

And it is it's a little bit like having when they say oh, your eyes are bigger than your belly. And no one says that to me nowadays. But you know, there was a time, you know, you just feel hungry and you order loads of stuff and you can't eat it.

There's that saying. So it's almost like the eyes are almost kind of deceiving me a bit. And then you've got goggle eyes, or beer goggle eyes.

Just seeing through beer goggles, is that what I call it? The eyes get a lot of, they got a lot of stick, don't they get blamed for a lot of things. So yeah, anyway, I don't think I over explain, but maybe I do. And adding a side to point out how boring they are.

Self awareness. You often acknowledge the pointless to pointless. You often acknowledge the pointlessness of what you're saying.

I don't know why I'm telling you this, which adds a disarming genuine feel. Well, I have no idea about that. But I don't know why.

I don't know why I do that. I don't know. Just being honest, I just I'm just saying whatever's in my mind at the time.

And you casually slip in memories about your life, pets, like Andre the ferret, or Vinnie, family or daily routines. What else am I going to talk about? I mean, I'm not saying that's all I talk about. But that is what I know, isn't it? We know what we know.

We know what we've experienced. And I know I've got my my life mapped out in my brain. It's mapped out.

And there's lots of connections between where I worked, where I lived, and the people in my life, because I've had lots and lots of friends that I've that I was that I got really well with. And now I don't see them. Because I never I don't get get attached to people really.

But I did get attached to Andre. I was attached to my nan. But Andre, as far as like living 24 hours a day with someone, I had an attachment to him that was the strongest bond, perhaps I've ever had.

And with Andre, and I suppose Vinnie, I guess. I just don't know if he likes me or not. I'm still trying to figure it out.

And he's, he's been living there for nearly three years, three years in December. Hypnotic rhythms, there's repetition. Wow.

Are you telling me there might be some kind of hypnotic stuff secretly embedded in these recordings? That's nice to know. I had no idea. There's repetition.

Gentle pauses, pauses that last too long. And soft reframing. Okay, contradictions and digressions.

You'll start a thought, backtrack, contradict yourself, then laugh at the contradiction. This adds charm and unpredictability. It's weird being described in any way, isn't it? I mean, normally, I'm just described as like, people describe me as oh, he's all right, or he's annoying.

It's like just a one word description. He's short, he's fat. You know, just just general, don't usually get like a detailed description based on.

And when you think about it, though, thousands, if you listen to thousands of hours, I mean, yeah, listen to thousands of hours of a person talking. I suppose you can kind of feel that you know them. I mean, really, those that listen to me, those of you that listen to me regularly, like daily, for years and years.

I mean, you could have known more about what my life is like now than anyone in my family. And any of my friends, really. I don't really have any friends anymore.

I've got some friends on the phone, but I don't, I don't have that regular day to day that I had with Luke. And I don't want it either. To be honest, I don't want that anymore.

I'm okay doing what I do. I've got Vinnie. He's not much of a conversationalist.

I mean, that's the thing, like last night, trying to disturb me during Big Brother. And he was like, it's there with his paw up. And he was like, I didn't know what he was doing.

What did he want? He was barking. What he wanted was to go and lay down in bed. He was tired.

He wanted to go to bed. It took me an hour to suss it out. He didn't want to go out.

He didn't want anything to eat. Although if it's a treat, you'll always have a treat. He wanted to go to bed.

Because it's more comfortable in bed than it is on the sofa. He can spread out on the sofa, but it's just more comfy. He's got the quilt, which he can like, get underneath if he wants to.

He loves that bed. I mean, he genuinely has about 11 hours sleep every night. Seriously, if we go to bed, let's say he goes to bed at 10, he'll get up about nine.

I mean, sometimes he'll be up earlier. But if I don't disturb him, and there's no like major noise in the building, he'll be in bed till nine o'clock. And he'll just wander in, look at me like, come on, time to go out.

He looked at me, said, come on, dad, I'll take you out for a walk. I was like, okay. He didn't even look around when I said that word.

No, not dad. He might be fast asleep. I think that's the thing.

When he's in bed, he really, really goes into a deep sleep. When he's on the sofa, it's semi, he has a semi on the sofa. But in bed, it's more deeper, like goes deeper.

What else there? Understand, understated surrealism. Occasionally, you drop in odd, surreal little images or thoughts, but with such a casual tone that they blend into the boring narrative. Okay.

Wow. I can absolutely mimic it in writing in a way that feels like you. Most people read and wouldn't spot the difference because it's not about copying your exact words.

It's about capturing the flow, pacing, and randomness, random, randomness of your delivery. Would you like me to write a short demo passage with your Let Me Bore You To Sleep style, like a transcript experts, an excerpt rather, so that you can see how close I get. Okay.

See, this is bad, isn't it? This is not good. It's almost making me defunct. Wow.

I tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to, I'm going to put in, right, the question for this week's Q&A Friday and see what ChatGPT comes up with. So I'm going to, so Christine has asked me, have your new neighbors moved in? So here's, here's a question to answer in Q&A Friday.

Have your new neighbors moved in? So let's have a look. See what it comes up with. I'll give you my own answer as well.

Oh, wow. You ready? I don't, I'm not sure if I like this. I didn't put my transcripts in with the intention of getting it to write for me, because that's not what this is about.

Otherwise, I mean, I can already clone my voice, I don't need to talk at all. So this is not, it wouldn't sound like this, it would be much clearer, there'd be no stutters, there'd be no, it'd be like perfect speech, kind of. And the tonality, the indents and stuff that wouldn't be there.

So, and also, I think, now, as we're going forward, it, I think it might be useful. And I'll definitely prefer it to listen to humans talking. Like the original voice.

Now, unless, I mean, if something happened to my voice, and I wasn't able to talk anymore, for whatever reason, please, you know, don't let that happen. But I could then write, you know, write my own thing, and then have the clone voice talk for me. But it would still have to be my words.

To ask for a script, to get chat GPT, or one of the other large language models, AI things, to write like a monologue for a Let Me Bore You To Sleep would be pointless. It'd be just it. I don't know about pointless, but it would just be it just why? I mean, very, very expensive as well.

It costs about 20 pounds for each one to produce. But why? Why? Why? Why? Why? There's no reason. It defeats the object for the word, the sentence I'm trying to think or the phrase but it almost turns me from not being human anymore.

Kind of, I don't know. I want to be a human. I'm not I'd like to be a human one day, one day.

My ambition is to be human. I don't know, I just think. Hmm.

Yeah. So it has to be my voice. And my words, or a clone voice in a situation where I wasn't able to use my voice.

And my words. You know, that's the only two options. A script.

Even though chat GPT says it's got, well, it has got blimey loads of transcripts. I don't know how many I've uploaded. How many is uploaded on there? Right, it's got it's got access to my TurboScribe transcriptions.

So there's hundreds and over 1000 transcripts that it has access to. So would you like me to write a short demo passage? So here's a question to answer in Q&A Friday. Have your new neighbors moved in? Should we go for it? Here we go.

See, this is nothing like me. Okay. So here's the answer.

Well, that's a good question, isn't it? The thing about neighbors, it's adding its own jokes. The thing about neighbors is they're a bit like ghosts. You don't see them for ages.

And then suddenly they appear carrying a kettle and a mattress at two in the morning. And you realize, oh, yes, someone's actually does live next door. I don't know about being a bit like ghosts.

I mean, they seem to be getting confused between ghosts and buses. Because, you know, you don't see a bus for ages, then you see like two come at the same time. But then why would a bus be moving into your next door flat? So yeah, I don't know.

And so this is them again. Now, as for my new neighbors, I'm not entirely, I'm not entirely sure. Because you see, I thought they'd moved in last week.

There was a van outside and people carrying boxes. Standard moving in behavior, you'd think. But then the next day, nothing.

Silence. Like one of those mystery TVs. This is weird reading this out.

It's almost like I'm reading my own thoughts out loud. Before having them. Like one of those mystery TV shows where the characters all disappear between episodes.

And the only clue I've had is a faint smell of paint drifting through the walls, which could mean redecorating. Or it could just mean my imagination costs got nothing better to do. I haven't seen them.

I haven't heard them. I'm beginning to wonder if perhaps they've moved in spiritually, but not physically. That's not something I'd ever say.

Why would anyone move in spiritually? This thing's obsessed with ghosts. I've never mentioned ghosts. Mind you, Vinnie, my Jack Russell, seems kind of, I would never say, well, maybe I do sometimes say my Jack Russell, but I assume you know who Vinnie is by now.

Seems convinced there's somebody there. He stares at the wall as if it's going to start talking to him. Either that, or he's just bored with me, which is very possible.

Fair enough. That is something I would say. So the official, he does do that.

He just looks away sometimes. He just, I think he's just ashamed of me and disappointed, something like that. So the official answer is maybe they've moved in.

Maybe they haven't. I like to think it's a sort of Schrodinger's neighborhood, a neighbor situation. Both did moved in and not moved in at the same time, which if you're trying to fall asleep, probably the most boring kind of philosophy you'll hear this week.

Probably a bit more intellectual than me. This, this, this kind of writing. And Schrodinger, by the way, if you don't know what that is, it's a cat.

Schrodinger's cat put in a box, just left in a box. Like, is it still alive? There's no way of knowing unless you open the box. That's, that's what that is.

So there's no way of knowing unless. So basically it's a bus, it's a box, it's, what is it? It's a ghost. Would you like me to expand it into a longer rambly version, five to seven minutes worth like your podcast, or keep it short and snappy for a Q&A Friday? My Q&A Fridays aren't short and snappy are they? Do you think so? Okay.

Longer. Let's say if we've got a longer. Perfect.

Here's a longer one. See, it's, it doesn't talk like me, but it is what it's saying. Do you, should I just do it anyway? And yeah, oh yes, that old chestnut, you know, as your, as your new neighbors moved in.

The question everyone wants to know, but no one actually cares, actually cares about, have the new neighbors moved in? And the answer is, well, sort of, maybe I think so, or possibly not. See, the funny thing with neighbors is they never really, you never really know, do you? I mean, it's not like they send you a postcard, dear Jason, just to let you know we've officially moved in.

Lots of love, the people next door.

No, it's all very mysterious. You catch glimpses, little fragments, like a detective piecing together a very boring crime. This is way more sophisticated than the way I talk, isn't it? I mean, my answer is, don't know.

And then I start talking about something that happened when I worked in Butlins. See, the funny thing with neighbors is that you don't really, now, I did see a van outside the other day, a big white one, the kind you'd expect furniture to come tumbling out of. And there were people, at least I think there were people, carrying boxes.

What do you mean, at least I think there were people? What do you think they were, gremlins? Oh, they keep going back to the ghosts. We all know ghosts do not travel during the day. And as far as I know, I'm not an expert on the spiritual world or sightings of ghosts, poltergeists, all that stuff, and I've seen lots of movies.

But as far as I'm aware, none of them work in removal. As far as I'm aware, I don't think they, I mean, why would they need a job? They can live anywhere they want. It's not for food, is it? Because the food just goes straight through them, just falls on the floor, put it in their mouth, falls on the floor.

The next day, silence, no lies, no sound, just a kind of eerie quiet that makes you wonder if you imagined the whole thing. And then Vinnie, my little Jack Russell, we know who he is. It's Vinnie.

He sits there, that's me, sorry. He sits there staring at the wall for ages, as if he knows something I don't. I reckon he knows quite a bit I don't.

That's me. Which to be fair, wouldn't surprise me. He's probably more socially advanced than I am at this point.

Wow, that's a bit harsh. It's very true. Wow.

If he ever starts pouring, this is quite funny actually. If he ever starts pouring at the plaster and barking Morse code, I'd know for sure that someone's living there. Barking Morse code, that's funny.

I like that. I did smell paint though, just a faint whiff drifting through. You know that unmistakable smell that says, we've moved in but we want to cover up the fact that the previous tenant smokes 47 cigarettes a day in the living room.

Yeah, that smell. See, that is true, but it's the council that do that. So the council, they try and get the flats ready before the tenants move in.

My uncle's sausages flat was an absolute disaster area and now someone else is living in there and they will never know what it was like before he moved in. Before he moved out rather, before they moved in. Yeah, that's it.

The thing is, moving house isn't like it used to be. Years ago, you moved in, you introduced yourself, you maybe knocked on your neighbor's door and said, hello, I'm Bob, here's a pie. Really? Okay, this is me talking now.

Has anyone who's listened to this ever moved into a new place, knocked on their neighbor's doors, holding a pie, and introduce yourself as Bob? Anyone? Very strange. Maybe I'm being a bit too literal here, but I've never given a pie to anyone. What would that be like to give somebody a pie?

I mean, to go to the trouble of cooking a pie in order to give somebody a pie, just, you know, buying ingredients with the intention that those ingredients will eventually become a blob, some kind of blob, this is me talking again, by the way, a pie that resembles something, some edible dessert, marginally edible, and could just give it to a complete stranger.

I mean, surely money would be better. Bin bags. Update on the latest gossip, I don't know, something like that.

Who to avoid? Well, I suppose that's what everyone would just do. It's really funny. I did say to one of my neighbors, the new neighbors who moved in, I said, just go, I don't know if anyone's told you who to, who to avoid.

And she said, yeah, everyone in the blocks told me, all the other four flats. I said, okay. She said, I got to go now, bye.

So I don't know, never got to told her who, never got to tell her who to avoid. The thing is moving house, okay, so as far as I can tell, oh, you can live next door to someone for years. And the only thing you ever really know about them is their Wi Fi name.

There's a degree of truth in that, actually. Yeah. Years ago, someone and this is going back about eight years, nine years or whatever.

Someone changed, they had a Wi Fi name, and they changed it to, or I don't know if they changed it, but it was originally, but oh no, not another bloody ferret. Seriously. Because Luke saw it, and he said, I think they're talking about you.

Because just after I got Andre, because I used to take him out for walks, didn't I? So, and he had one as well. He had one. So, which was Andre's uncle.

So here, but back to the script. So far as I can tell, yes, my neighbors might have moved in. But until I actually hear the muffled sound of a telly through the wall, probably EastEnders at full blast, I won't commit to saying they're officially in.

At the moment, it's more of a Schrodinger's neighborhood situation, blah, blah, blah. They're both living there, and it's not living there at the same time. Which is quite exciting when you think about it.

Exciting in a very, very dull way. And that's probably the best kind of excitement if you're trying to drift off to sleep, isn't it? I don't generally, in my Let Me Bore You To Sleep recordings, really mention about going to sleep. I don't think.

It's kind of assumed. It's kind of implied in the title, I would say. So there we are.

My final answer is yes, no, maybe. Ask me again in six months, and I'll still be saying the same thing. That does sound like something I might say.

I'll give you my answer. My answer is going to seem very, very serious in comparison. There's now definitely both the flats have been occupied.

The one downstairs, I haven't seen that person, but they're living there. I know they've moved in, and they get deliveries and stuff. So there's definitely someone living there, but I've not seen them.

I've got no idea who it is. I've been in there a couple of weeks now, so I just don't know. The person opposite me is now living there, and I saw her once to talk to.

And what do I do? I just want to see banging outside. I don't know what that is. Yeah, I saw her once in the hallway.

I was waiting for a delivery. I thought the car that pulled up was the delivery, so I was coming out just to greet them. I mean, I don't like run up and cuddle them.

You know, like a little kid that hasn't seen their dad for like a week or so, or maybe the dad's been in the army, and they're running up and jump, and they get twirled around. Nothing like that, but just sometimes it's nice to meet them halfway if the delivery isn't like heavy. Otherwise, I just let them walk up the stairs and just hand it to me.

But the car outside was, I think hers, or a boyfriend's, or whatever, and she was moving stuff in. So we spoke to each other, and she introduced herself, and I introduced myself, and she said about Vinnie, how is he with dogs and cats. I said, well, he doesn't like big dogs generally, but he's scared of cats.

And that was it, to be fair, I think that was the entire conversation. And then, oh no, no, that was the first time I spoke to her twice. The first time was I was taking Vinnie out, so he was on his lead.

We were going out just as she was coming out of her door. And that's that conversation, and I said bye, and I left. She might have said bye, not sure.

She might have gone downstairs. I don't remember. I mean, I didn't write it in my diary.

But then the next time I saw her was, as I said, when I was outside thinking that the car pulling up was my delivery, but it wasn't. So she came, I saw they had something. It was like a washing machine or a fridge.

And I said, do you need a hand to bring that upstairs? And she said, no, thanks. And I felt like I had to explain why I was standing in the communal hallway outside my front door. It's weird.

I mean, I don't have to explain anything, but it just felt like I was acting a bit weird or yeah. It was strange. It really was.

So and that was it really. I went inside and that's when I said I'm waiting for delivery. And I went inside because I just, I was thinking, oh, please, when the delivery comes, please be about so you can see that I genuinely was getting a delivery.

Because I kind of got a sense that maybe she didn't believe me. I mean, why would I lie about something like that? And why, why would I need to? But just luckily when the delivery came, she had a door open because she, she was there, but the bloke was big and he was in the way. And I was like, can you just move to the side so she can see me, please?

Can you turn around so she can see your delivery person? And he looked at me like I was a bit weird.

And I waved to her, look, my delivery. I told her what was in a delivery and she hasn't spoken to me since. So yeah, I'm sure they're nice.

They're quiet. I don't really. I think it's gone.

I think it's going to be a quiet flat. A quiet, quiet block now. I don't think there's going to be any much in the way communication.

I'm getting that. So the two new people, I don't think there's going to be any kind of, um, it'll be hello, goodbye, which is going to be a bit strange because since I've lived there, I've got on well with everyone. And to a certain extent, everyone, you know, I was quite close to pretty much everyone in the building, especially Uncle Sausages, Luke, and my other friend who lives on the top floor as well, who I see regularly.

And so he's known him for years and years and years. So he's cool. A lady downstairs I've known since I moved in, so she's, I get on really well with her.

And then the one that moved in just below me, I get on really well with her. But now as people are moving out, kind of, because we had that lady in Luke's flat that was there for a year and then she moved out. So now we've got someone new.

I got on fairly good with her, but she, yeah, you know, I did. I knew her to talk to, whatever. And so now there's two flats where I don't know the people and possibly not going to know the people.

So what I can see happening is over time, I'm possibly going to believe, possibly going to be a bit like Uncle Sausages, where I keep myself to myself and maybe no one even really knows me very well. I can kind of see how that might happen because one by one people are going to move out. I mean, there's one, he's got like his family living in one flat, one room flat.

So he'll be moving out at some point, but that is private. So anyone could be living there in the future. Downstairs, very young and you know, she probably, she'll move on at some point.

She won't stay here for like a long, long time. Yeah. So I can see how it's going to move and change and which is normal.

It's just natural things to change, isn't it? It's going to be, I felt more comfortable speaking to people before because I was so used to being in and out of Luke's flat. And more recently in and out of Uncle Sausages flat, in and out of someone else's flat downstairs, say their name. I've also been in downstairs, his flat.

Not that go in and out, but it just, I felt like it was, for a while, everybody knew each other. Everybody in the building knew each other by name and to say hello and to chat to everyone. I mean, Uncle Sausages did keep himself to himself, but I knew him, Luke knew him, the other bloke above Luke knew him, the lady below him knew him because they'd be neighbours for 12, 13 years.

So maybe longer. I think he lived there for about 28 years. He moved in, I think 99.

What was that? 26 years, 27 years. Crazy time. I can't believe it.

I was at my peak. I don't know. It's very strange.

I can feel it changing. Not in a bad way. But I can feel the energy is different.

And it's kind of gone to the point where there's not as much traffic as they used to be. There used to be a lot of people coming and going. But now, I just, I kind of got this sense that it's going to be very much everyone just keeping themselves to themselves, which is not a bad thing.

Although I'm still, I'll still stay friends with who I'm friends with. But you know, as time goes by, they'll move on as well. And then I will be the oldest person in the building.

And I'll be the new Uncle Sausages, living in the flat upstairs, the old man upstairs. That'll be me. Uncle Sausage was that when I moved in here, the old man living upstairs.

Now it's going to be me. Wow. So yeah, I mean, it's very little to say about them.

I mean, I don't know anything about either of them. Although I wouldn't come up on him gossip and stuff. Unless something funny or weird happened.

You know, I wouldn't really mention them, but they seem nice enough or the one I met did. And no one seems to enjoy me having a camera. I've noticed that all the council workers, everyone that viewed the flat, just look directly at the camera.

So I've got a door camera, a ring door camera, and I've got permission to have it. So there's nothing anyone can do about it. Can you hear that? I think that noise is the things falling off the trees and banging onto the fence.

I think. Wow. A lot of banging going on down there.

It's a Big Brother's night. It is. So that'll be good.

Did I say thank you? I'm sure I said thank you. Did I? Did I or didn't I? I think I said thank you. It's really, really hard to remember if I did.

Did I say thank you? Did I? Did I? Did I? See, no one can copy that. That's unique. Unique.

No one can just sing the way I sing. No one would want to sing the way I sing probably. Where is it? Oh, there we go.

Julia. I did say thank you to Julia, because it was sure I did. I know I've sent a message to Julia saying thank you.

And I also posted on my Facebook group, Jason Newland's boy group. I think it's we've got hay. What is it? Hazelnuts? Not hazelnuts.

What? What are they? They're not hazelnuts. They're nice ones. We don't have hazelnuts, would we? But it's a nutty kind of a nut nut thing that's fallen out of the tree.

All I can imagine is they are falling onto the fence, which is why they're making so much noise. It almost sounds like someone's like banging something. Very strange.

Very strange indeed. Wonder how many downloads. Oh, Facebook.

I've got I've got a message. No, rectitude or Jason. All right.

Now the door's wobbling. I think it's the old I've got all the windows open because I've done some washing. So I've hung the washing up in the bedroom on the like the coat the curtain rack.

But I've got all the windows open so the wind can blow in. It's like being like being outside really. Except inside.

That's weird. What did you think about the old chat GPT thing? Does that is that something that were you surprised? Were you? Really? Were you surprised? Was it weird or just? I think what I've noticed when I do when I do a description, ask it to do a description of the podcast based upon the transcript. In the past, it would almost reframe what it said.

And add its own material and say things I wouldn't say. And I found that a bit weird. It's like, wait a minute.

I just I just want to pay a basic description of what the content is of the podcast episode, mainly for search engine reasons. And yet to let the person see roughly what I'm talking about. But also, so the internet can find me.

And so the podcast can find me and maybe reach an audience, a larger audience. That's part of the reason. You know, I mean? Yeah, I know what you mean.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm thinking that I'm gonna have to go out soon before it gets dark.

And it has stopped raining. Let's have a look what the time is. 17 minutes past six.

So I'm gonna I'm gonna go out. I had one question to answer. So this has not been a very, like a hugely long Q&A Friday.

Sometimes I've had q&a Fridays that lasted like three hours. I'm sure I had one that lasted three and a half hours once. But yeah.

Really? There's not a lot happening. I did. Yeah, I've got a delivery.

So I've got a razor. And I also ordered some shampoo. So that should be delivered today.

I've got at least one package delivered today. So see on the camera, but I've not gone out and collected it yet. Also, I have ordered what I ordered a Oh, yeah, some dog food.

And I can't even remember what else I ordered. It's just terrible, isn't it? What did I order? Anyone? Any idea? It was something I needed. It's not like I'm just buying rubbish.

It's something I needed to get. Not rubber gloves. Not Vaseline.

Not a stethoscope or a white coat. Doctor's badge. No, I don't.

I don't. Um, no, I've got no idea. Other than that, I'm not that sorted.

All of that a month ago. Genuinely cannot remember why I ordered. Oh, yeah, I did ready break.

And you might be thinking, why did you order ready break? Well, let me tell you. The reason I ordered ready break is because I couldn't get it at the supermarket. So I ordered it on Amazon.

Couldn't get it. I don't know why I'm repeating myself. I could not get it at the supermarket.

I Uber deliveries, Uber Eats, but I get my groceries from there. And I went to two different supermarkets, Sainsbury's and Asda. Neither of them had ready break.

And neither of them had a few things that I normally get. And I ended up buying stuff and I couldn't believe the price of things. Like a packet of cakes, like nearly four pounds just for a packet of cakes.

I'm sure they used to. I mean, I know you say, OK, everything used to be cheaper. If you go back far enough, they were like half a penny.

But I don't mean that. I'm talking about recently, sure, about a pound each or maybe two pound each, two for three pound, four pound for one. Really? It just seems a little bit balmy, if you ask me, a little bit balmy, a little bit.

Yeah, you know, I mean, a bit. Anyway, I'm going to go. Because I can't believe it's nearly dark.

It's only 21 past six. So we don't say 21 after or 15 after. We don't say that in this country.

That's not how we or 15 before. We don't do that. So when we do the time, it's just it might be interesting for you to notice because different people, different countries tell the time differently.

And we we say quarter to so it's quarter if the if the little hand. Now I'm going to go that far. But if it's quarter to five, we say we don't say quarter before 15 minutes before we say quarter to five, five past five, 10 past five, quarter past five, 20 past five, 25 past five, half past five, 35 minutes past five, or 25 to six, 25 to say, yeah, we wouldn't say 35 minutes past five to 25 to 620 to six, quarter to six, 10 to six, five to six, five minutes to four, or might say, you could say six to 550.

We don't necessarily say 530. You know, 10 to 10 to six, you could say it's 550 or 545. So there's some leeway.

It's not like super strict. That's just generally how we tell the time, how we verbally announce it. And I think in Wales, they they still use sundials, I think.

Was that Cornwall? Belgian? Oh, I'm joking. I'll tell you what, I was at this shopping center. Well, no, it was a garden center a few weeks back.

And I was there talking to my brother. And we were just sitting down in some chairs testing them out. Or maybe we're standing.

I just got an idea that we were lower down than normal height. We weren't kneeling down. So he was standing up.

Maybe stuff was raised up. I don't know. But there was these sundials.

And he was saying, well, that's the best way to tell the time. I said, I still think watches and clocks are probably better. He said, Yeah, that's amazing.

Look how accurate they are. Bearing in mind, you know, if hundreds or 1000s of years ago, and I just pointed out there was about eight or nine different sundials. And they're all painting it, they're all pointing in a different direction.

They're all given a different time. Weren't that good? They were. I don't know how valid the argument was, from my perspective.

But it seemed to make sense. In a kind of sensical way. Seemed to make sense.

I'm not sure if it did. I don't know if it did really, but it Yeah, it kind of felt legitimate in the moment, as it were. Oops.

By the way, this isn't still that script, in case you're wondering. Oh, dear. So oh, yeah, that's the thing.

I say like, I give a script put into chat GPT. feed it the script and say, Can you bring out everything about the chip shop, for example, it's an old script. And it just make this story up about the chip shop.

It's like, No, I don't want to make a story about it. Just what if I said verbatim about the chip shop, and it comes back saying he's sure you should actually make it sound interesting. It's a bit rude, isn't it? And it says you're rude.

Like, Oh, here we go again. Anyway, I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go now.

Gonna go now. I really, really, really gonna go now. There is a I don't normally have ideas for podcasts I want to do, like subject matters for the Let Me Boyd Asleep.

But I do have one. And it is it's due to Patricia Routledge. Leaving the world at age 96.

And she was in a TV show called Keeping Up Appearances. Now, I would like to do a podcast on the the most iconic. That's the word of the day is an iconic for some reason.

But the most or I don't know the best it's hard. It's hard to say best in X, we all like different things. But probably iconic, the most iconic British comedy characters.

And she would be in that list. There'll be a lot. But this might be kind of interesting for people in other countries to hear about these people.

Because you might never have heard of them. You might never have heard of bouquet, Mrs. Bouquet, spelt bucket, in Keeping Up Appearances. You may never have heard of.

I'm trying to think of someone that you might not have heard of. It's hard, isn't it? If you haven't heard of them? How would I know? Alan, Alan, Alan, blind me I forgot his surname now. But there's a few like Frank Spencer.

Alf Garnett. There's so many iconic comedy characters from sitcoms and TV shows in the UK that were like, hugely successful. The bloke from the one that says I cannot believe it.

I don't believe it. Him. And you know, just people that just like they were in TV shows and they just it not not that it changed the landscape of television, but they'll be remembered.

The catchphrases will be remembered. The comedy character was so strong. The people that have lived through that period of their life, watching those shows will always remember them, pretty much.

So I'm thinking I might do a recording. So maybe that will be my Monday's Boring Objects. Comedy characters from TV.

I'm not sure if I remember it. But that's what I'm planning. I don't you know, you may notice I don't normally have much of a plan of what I'm going to do.

But on this instance, I thought it'd be nice to talk about some of these amazing comedy characters that were portrayed by these great actors over the years. And especially there's a lot of them of like no longer around. It'd be oh yeah, Alan Partridge.

So that's what I was trying to think of. Alan Partridge. Still one of the best well for me one of the best comedy characters ever produced anywhere in the world.

Just my personal opinion. There's been some great ones. But on that note, I better go because I want to make sure I get the little one out before it turns too dark to see where I'm standing on the grass.

So thank you for listening. Remember to be kind to yourself. Because you do deserve to be happy.

And be gentle with yourself. You deserve to feel safe. Lots of love.

Bye