(music) (5 hours) Sunday papers LMBYTS #1485 Jason Newland 9th November 2025

Hello and welcome, welcome to Scratchy Scrappy Vinnie. Welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes.

And today, in this Let Me Bore You To Sleep recording, I'm going to do Sunday Papers. Or is it Sunday Newspapers? I don't know, what do I call it? Whatever I call it, what do I call it? Let's have a look. I haven't done them regularly enough to remember the title.

Sunday Papers, I was correct, Sunday Papers. So we need a jingle for this one, can't we? Shall I do a little song? It's time for Sunday, Sunday, Sunday. It's time for Sunday, Sunday, Sunday.

It's time for Sunday, Sunday, Sunday. Sunday Papers. Yeah, I think that was a good one.

So basically, all I do is go through the papers, I use an app called, what's it called? Readly. Readly? Is it Readly? Let's come out of it. Come on, get out.

Readly, yeah, R-E-A-D-L-Y. Costs me £12.99 a month, so I'd better start using it. So just having a look.

The problem with the Sunday Newspapers, in fact, what I could do, do they have newspapers by region? Do they? No. Oh, Sunday Mercury. I don't know where that's based.

Let's just, yeah, let's, oh no, wait a minute. Sunday Mercury Newspapers. How about the whales on Sunday? Let's look at that one.

Yeah, the whales on Sunday and no pictures of whales, just people. So there's stuff about fireworks. There's an advert for teeth.

Discover same day teeth with dental implants. Thanks. I've realised if I ever get to the point of needing dentures, I'm not going to be able to have dentures.

I can't have things in my mouth. So I'm going to have to walk around. Well, it's not going to affect my walking, is it? But I'm my, you know, I'm just going to be gummy.

I won't be no teeth. So I'm going to have to try and look after the ones I got. I have to look after the three I have left.

Three teeth. I can't have, honestly, I can't. It's just not going to happen.

I won't be able to have dentures. But maybe, you know, with the implants and stuff, maybe I could get that done. And I hope I don't need to, but I've got a couple of gaps in my in my teeth.

Well, two gaps, the divide, you know, that go for about a mile each. Right, something here news. Former Archbishop of Canterbury has criticised the portrayal of migrants as enemy invaders.

Good. It's quite weird. I mean, I know that, you know, 48% Irish.

And even though it's not like I was raised by Irish parents and spent every summer holiday in Ireland and felt like I was fully Irish, or, you know, maybe I'd like my father was Irish and my mother was English. And I felt Irish and maybe he even had an Irish accent. You know, just none of that stuff with me.

But I do know that my grandparents from my mum's side, my nan's side rather, didn't have a good easy time of it when they came over to England. And it seems to be the case for anyone that comes over to England. It's kind of weird, isn't it? I never seem to be very welcome.

I don't quite understand. The only time I've ever seen visitors, new visitors welcome outside of, you know, tourism, of course, is Germany. When there was a, I think there's like a million people being coming from somewhere.

And they were being shared out amongst the European countries. Everyone kind of agree agreed to take a certain amount. We agreed to take three, because we're so such a small country.

But Germany, and they were actually clapping the people as they got like walked through and welcomed them with signs saying you're welcome. And we love you and offering kisses. I don't know about the kisses, but it was definitely very friendly.

And I thought, oh, that's nice. Never seen that before. See, what you might not know about me.

Well, this country, we're all immigrants. You know, is we've been invaded so many times, like Vikings, or you're going back for centuries and centuries, thousands of years. So the idea of any kind of purity doesn't really exist.

But I just think we're all related, all of us, everyone listening to this is related. No matter how scary that might sound, I think we're all related. If you go far enough back.

So if you're secretly in love with me, incest? No. What was I going? No, I don't know what my point was on that one. Oh, I used to live in a refugee hotel.

You didn't know that, did you? Oh, I did. It was. So I kind of when people in this country going on about all people staying in hotels or staying in buildings and stuff.

I lived in a building that was predominantly refugees back in 2000, or September 2001. And throughout 2003, and most of 2004. So I saw firsthand what it was like for them.

And it wasn't easy for them. And the people around the area didn't like it either. So I've kind of, in fact, I think some of them, some of the local neighbors.

That's why they were looking at me weird. They probably wondered why I was coming out of there. Probably thought I was, he's one of them.

I didn't care. I get on with everyone. Seems very strange, but I've been there.

Yeah. I've, I've, I lived among, I lived among them. Among them.

I saw them talking to each other. Oh, they eat food. They go to the toilet like us.

They do. Sometimes they cry. Sometimes they laugh.

It's almost as if foreigners. Wait a minute. A human.

Oh, no. Yeah, they're human. Plus size model working in Greggs after losing work due to rise of weight loss jabs.

I'm confused. That's just the whole sentence doesn't make sense. Plus size model.

Okay. It's, I get it now. So she's, she was, this is kind of a funny story, really.

So she was a plus size model getting paid for plus size work. And she, for some reason, decided to do, take the weight loss jab and her, her works dried up. It's.

Oh, no. No, it's not. I've got the wrong story.

Apparently, plus size models aren't as popular as they used to be. The agencies no longer want people to look like people. No, they just don't want them to look like you.

Oh, that was harsh. I'm sorry. She's very pretty.

And the mum of one from Wrexham said modelling agencies now wanted a specific look and no longer wanted models with saggy skin or bingo wings. Wow, if I'd known that model agencies in the past wanted people with saggy, saggy, saggy skin and bingo wings, I could have earned myself some money, couldn't I? I had no idea. Didn't know the opportunities were there.

Now it's too late because everyone's getting skinny. So she is still plus size. I just thought she maybe she'd taken the jab and it had shrunk size.

She she definitely she'd lost. I mean, she just I don't know when she said that she used to be 22 stone. Right, like, dress sizes mean nothing to me.

You say size 12 or size three. I don't know what the difference is. I can assume that a size 12 is bigger than a size three.

Size 40. I don't know. I don't know what what those things are.

I mean, I only just learned. Well, not only just learned, but a bra size is measured by the back. So there's a cup size and but it's the back that's measured.

So like 36 E, 36 is the back. I was like, okay, don't learn that at school. I mean, to be fair, if they were introducing like bra measurements and how they worked in school, there'd be a hell of a lot of giggling.

In fact, I'm trying to stop myself now. Every time I say the word bra, I kind of internally want to go. He said bra.

Oh, that's a shame for her. I mean, I don't know. I don't I didn't know.

I mean, I've seen a lot of adverts on TV. And they don't seem to like it always used to be really, really, really slim females. When it was females, unless they were older, but generally quite slim.

And then the adverts have kind of changed, you know, they've had like more options. I don't know. I don't know what the right the correct term is.

But people have different sizes, because we don't know. I mean, okay, I happen to be perfect size, slim, muscular, look about 30 years younger than I am more head and I know what to do with. But not everyone's perfect physically like me.

Not everyone can be a perfect specimen. And I mean, not only do I look down on them, but I also do feel sorry. I pity people that don't have my genetics.

Don't have my genes. Which brings me to Sydney. I'm like, by the way, all that is just rubbish.

I'm saying just in case you think I'm being serious. Sydney Sweeney. Like, I like Sydney Sweeney.

For various reasons. And there was a, okay, she's, she's probably her looks have excelled her fame by a huge amount. Like, she seems to be more famous for how she looks than for her acting ability.

But I watched a movie where she didn't get naked. And it was an accident. I didn't realize she didn't get naked, but I ended up watching it anyway.

And it was such a good movie. And I'll tell you what it is, in case you ever want to watch it, it's really good. I won't spoil it for you.

Because it's just a really, really good movie. It's pretty much just two people in it. How old is she? 28.

So Sarah, look, it was recent. I did watch the voyeurs. So that was okay.

Where is it? Oh, once upon a time Hollywood. See, I didn't know who she was at that time. Is it reality? Okay, yep, got it.

So reality is called Sydney Sweeney. Great movie. Like really, really great movie.

And it's literally got three people in it. Three people, three actors. It lasts for I was HBO released it.

Was it not in the cinemas then? Oh, I thought it would be in this. Maybe it wasn't in the cinemas. I wonder release.

The film receives its world premiere at the 73rd Berlin International Film Festival on February 18, 2023. Prior to mk2 films acquired international sales rights to the film. Shortly thereafter, HBO films acquired US distribution rights to the film.

It was released on HBO May 29, 2023. The film was given a theatrical release in international markets, including the United Kingdom and Ireland on June 2. Okay. I thought it was really good.

And it did get nominated for I was quite popular all around the world. It's really good movie. And anyone that thinks that like the newspapers seem to be like, oh, it's all about her looks.

It's not like she's a really, really good actor. And I know what she feels like, you know, going through life being people just having those expectations based on your good looks. Here it goes again.

It's hard. You know, I mean, it's easy to live up to those expectations because if you're beautiful, you're beautiful, you know, that's it. But it's hard to get people to look past that to see more.

That's why I ended up working in such rubbish jobs, like working in chip shops and in factories, because people couldn't see past the beauty. So the thing is, all these, I never, you know, when I was younger, these supermodels, apart from Claudia Schieffer, and what's the one that married Richard Gere, they were the only two supermodels I thought were facially like really, I just liked them facially, but I didn't, I wasn't into that, that really slim look.

It, yeah, I didn't really get it.

And of course, you know, I never met them. So it might be different if I've met them, I might have given them a chance. Because sometimes, you know, as I said, don't want to, it's like, just because I didn't, I might have met Claudia Schieffer, and maybe not initially being attracted to her physically, but I thought, you know what, maybe she can win me over with her personality.

And because she, I think she's quite a nice person and, but it never got around, never got around to that. I was too busy, packing things into boxes. Right, what we got here.

So this is Wales on Sunday, chef sent, okay, nope. The thing is, okay, I'm gonna reword, I'm gonna reword it. Chef sent a horrible message to couple after their food review.

It's gonna happen. It's, it's gonna happen. Is if you review someone, regardless of whether you're, it's, it's just human nature, isn't it being criticized? It's not, it's not within our, I don't think humans ability to kind of accept criticism, gracefully, it's very difficult.

Yeah, I'm gonna read through it. But two high profile counsellors have defected to the Green Party. That's nice.

Squeakies in the garden. Okay. I couldn't drive for 10 months due to a standoff between my GP and DVLA.

That's the thing with because it's in Wales, it's not quite as it's not as tabloidy as the others. It's more kind of real stories. Yeah, I don't care.

What was this university student was left waiting 10 months for her driving license. She's been able to drive after. Okay, there's a reason there's a medical reason for it.

Okay, so she had after a frustrating standoff for 10 months, she had a seizure. So she was unable to drive after a seizure. As far as I'm aware, so at least a year before you can drive again after that you have to get doctor's permission.

So she's been diagnosed with epilepsy. Some people with epilepsy are not allowed to drive full stop. And it's is kind of is up to the DVLA of this I know, just I know, I know people of don't know this person's particular situation.

But I wouldn't pass. Yeah, I've seen. Yeah.

That would be concern. I wouldn't drive. If I if I knew that the seizures were likely, I would not drive.

Because of the danger to other people, regardless of my own danger. Yeah. So it's just a big story.

Basically, the thing is, is about protecting the GPs. It's about protecting everyone, isn't it? Not just the other drivers on the road, but also the driver themselves, who will be unconscious in a moving vehicle. That's a big, heavy bit of metal.

Yeah. It's, it's, yeah, it's not great. I mean, but I'm not allowed to drive because of my bipolar.

Medication causes drowsiness. And if I got into an altercation with another driver, I'm likely to get in trouble. Oh, yes.

No, I'm just yeah. Not allowed to drive. But I do have a bus pass.

I got a bus pass, like an old fogey a bus pass. Because actually, I am an old fogey now and I I'm an old man. Disabled woman exhausted and embarrassed after Halloween attraction visit.

What was meant to be a night of spooky fun turned into an uphill struggle, quite literally, for one couple who say they were left embarrassed and exhausted after attending a Halloween trial the organizer claimed was accessible. No one said their names. Costumes were ready, excitement was high.

And, and they'd even booked time off work, so they could enjoy the evening. The hype was there, said the 26 six year old lady. My husband shuddered voice.

The hype was there. My husband had been booked some time off, and we had our costumes ready. It wasn't raining by the time we went.

It was definitely something we were excited for. But that dwindled during the experience. And she explains further.

Trips like this require a lot of forethought and preparation. I'm an ambulatory and what? I'm an ambulatory wheelchair user, which means I can walk short. Oh, I didn't know about that.

Ambulatory. I didn't know it had a term. So there's some people with back issues or like chronic pain can walk.

They can walk, it's just they're in pain when they walk. So they, they might be able to walk short distances and I'm going to move off this story for a sec. This is, I've told this story before, but this is the most ridiculous thing ever.

I went on this retreat. Okay. And this was a meditation retreat for chronic pain.

Now, it's a subject I've been interested in for over two decades, chronic pain. Something I've studied, I've studied textbooks, not just on how to help people, but even how, what it is and how it develops and you know, it's just something that caught my interest in the late nineties. So in about 2005, I think it was, I went on a Buddhist retreat, which was all about mindfulness and chronic pain and helping other people to reduce their chronic pain through mindfulness, through focus, through some of the stuff that I've done since, you know, I've incorporated it into it.

I've had my own like lower back issues for a long time. It's gradually got worse and worse. And so there's quite a few people there that had chronic pain issues of their own.

And they were going there really just to learn techniques for themselves. The lady running it had, I think she'd fallen out of a tree when she was like a teenager and she damaged her back really badly. So she was now in her forties probably at this time and had, you know, she, every day it was a struggle, but she, she'd learned how to cope with it.

So she was sharing that. It's a lovely lady. And she was a Buddhist, well, she's a Buddhist order member in the Buddhist organization, Tri Ratna group.

Anyway, everyone kind of got on. It was nice. It was about 30 of us there, I'd say, maybe 25, 30.

And we stayed and there was a woman's retreat in Wales. That's quite weird, isn't it? And it snowed. We got snowed in, which didn't matter because we didn't need to go anywhere.

Proper snowed. And it was only probably March, March time. It wasn't, you know, it was like, it's spring, but it's snowing.

What's going on? There are no rules when it comes to Welsh weather. I don't, I don't, I don't know. Nope, nope, nope.

I don't know what that meant. It sounded like a little horse galloping, didn't it? I don't, I don't. There are no rules.

So, maybe it's 20, 25 minutes, it's a few of us. Everyone's getting on all right. And there's the woman, everyone's, you know, you know, just doing their thing on the very, very last day or the day before the last day.

So, I think this thing lasted for a week, maybe 10 days. I think, yeah, it's one of them. One of the ladies who was walking around was in a wheelchair.

And she was laughing as she was rolling around in a wheelchair. I say rolling around, but she was, you know, just laughing with a couple of friends that she'd made friends with. There was such a hoo-ha.

Honestly, people were gossiping, getting angry that she's, why is she sitting in a wheelchair? She's making fun of people that are stuck in a wheelchair. This, how dare she do that? She's mocking people that can't walk. All that stuff, yeah.

And so she, the news got back to her, I think someone was rude to her. She was crying, she wanted to leave. It was a honestly a big deal amongst the females there.

And it was, I think there was only probably about six men, because we all shared the the same barracks or whatever. So about one, two, three, four, maybe eight, six to eight men. And the leader of the group, the lady who was running it, she called us all in.

And it was like she was the headmaster. And she sat us all down. Not individually, she didn't like, she just said, okay, we didn't even say sit down, we just sat down.

And didn't individually place us on the floor, or on a sofa. That would be weird. And she said, we've just spent the last five days or however long, together, living together, 24 hours a day, meditating together, eating together, learning pain relief together, learning mindfulness together.

And on the last day, you know, you know, we're trying to learn non judgmental stuff. So basically, I'm not going to do what she said justice, because she probably used more words, but she probably used less words, actually. And it turns out, the lady in the wheelchair uses a wheelchair.

Sometimes and sometimes she doesn't need to. It was her wheelchair that she'd brought with her. Because she didn't have to travel any distance, really to go anywhere, because everything was kind of in one little place.

She and she was having quite an okay time plus meditating, relaxing. She probably felt quite nice, you know, probably felt a lot more relaxed than in her normal day to day life. And I'm not sure she had something like MS or something.

But the leader of the group was really telling everyone off. Not me, because well, she did. I mean, she didn't aim at anyone individually.

But she knew I hadn't done anything, because I was a teacher's pet. And if you wonder how you knew she liked me, just look at under a table under a table under under a bed. There's at least six apples that I gave her.

I gave her one every day. Yeah, I gave her six apples. One a day.

And you took six with me. You know, I've been not craving, that's not the right word. But thinking about toffee apples.

I'd really like to have a toffee apple. But it would have to be a peeled apple. And the toffee would have to be a lot.

Like it'd have to be a lot of toffee. Dried and just what a great invention. Whoever invented toffee apples.

Thank you. But I don't think I've had one since I was a kid. So anyway, so basically, I think they just couldn't get around.

It's very hard. This. Yeah, I've got a go admire.

I quite admire the idea that of inclusion. I admire it. I admire I admire the the intention of inclusion.

But it's almost impossible to include everyone in everything. For all times. And you can't eat we can't even include all people.

You know, if there's a tread carefully JJ tread really slowly on this one. Okay. If there's an event, even able bodied people, some people won't like it.

Some people will like it. Some people will find the chairs comfortable. Some won't.

Some, you know, it's always going to be not everyone's going to be enjoying or feel comfortable with the experience. Some people find the music or the audio too loud, some not loud enough. Yeah.

And then you've got the it's just so hard. And with the Big Brother audience, how do we get onto the Big Brother audience? Well, they're about inclusion. So after Big Brother episode, they go into the studio, and they have a live hour, or live 45 minutes or however long is where they talk about the show that's just happened.

And if someone's just been evicted, they'll go in there and the audience will kind of be asking questions and they'll talk to the audience and it's hosted by one of two hosts, Will or AJ. And there'll be a couple of guests as well, maybe some celebrity guests. Now the audience isn't, it's inclusive, but at the same time it isn't.

It's to the point where it's very much everything but the average person, whatever the average, you know, if you're going to do a survey on the average person living in the UK, and statistically, I mean, none of those people would probably even be in that audience. So they've really gone out their way to be inclusive. But I do wonder that they're not, don't seem to be inclusive for people, you know, including me.

Now I don't care about stuff like that. But I want to see a middle aged man, balding, fat, sitting there. You know, that just looks, that looks kind of disappointed with himself for all the life decisions he'd made.

That's what I want to see in the audience. Someone that's just shaking his head all the time in just utter disbelief that he's got to this age and he hasn't accomplished anything. You know what I mean? I'm just, I'm generalising, I'm generalising.

But it's just all, it's strange, just, things have changed so much, where I don't think that they really know their own audience. I think the audience of Big Brother is wide. It's everyone.

It's not just people in a specific category or sexuality. I don't think sexuality has got anything to do with Big Brother. Big Brother is popular with people that love Big Brother.

Regardless, and the audience, the appeal is wide. And it's not just for young people. Which you'd think if you looked at the audience.

There's old folkies like me sitting at home watching it. I've watched it for the beginning. I was 29 when it started, I think.

And now I'm 79. Can you imagine how brilliant these recordings would be when I'm 79 years old? I'll just be coming on in and moaning. Hello, welcome to Let Me Bore You To Sleep.

My name is Jason. I can't, I won't want anyone telling you that for. If you don't know what my name is, why are you listening? That might be how things are back then.

Back then, then, in the future. I'll tell you what I do. I'm not a big fan of the old parking on the pavement.

For the simple reason of, I know a few people around here that have wheelchairs. And they can't get around. They can't, they can like go around the park.

But they can't go walk or they can't walk. They can't get around the estate on the pavements because you can't pretty much get anywhere without a car being on the pavement, at some part. And although it's against the law, the law is not enforced outside of London.

It's not enforced. So people just do it. And so people with prams, kids have to walk in the road to, you know, people are walking the road.

I walk over the car. Yeah, like I could physically walk over a car. I'll probably get onto the top of the car and then have to wait for an ambulance or a helicopter to come and collect me.

How do you know your state pension age? Mine's 67. I retire in... Wow, 12 years time, I will be an official pensioner. 12 years, 12 years, 12 years.

I mean, I literally will be an old man. It's, it's just what? Crazy, isn't it? Vinnie's being very quiet. My little baby boy.

I think it's about, it's not always about how things affect me. It's all about how, how does it affect other people? So if I've got a neighbour outside at five in the morning, shouting for her, whatever, you know, just shouting for whatever reason, or clapping their hands really loudly. Early hours of the morning, even if I'm awake, I just think, well, why are you doing that? It's not fair on other people that are trying to sleep.

And I do, I would give priority to people that are working, that have to go to work, that don't need to get up till seven, maybe, to not be woken up at 6.30 or 5.30 in the morning by someone in the garden shouting. I mean, technically, it doesn't matter if it wakes me up. Usually.

I could advertise beds, couldn't I? That would be, what would fit together with these podcasts that I do? Some kind of promotional deal, something that can sponsor me, that gives me lots and lots of money. Money. What do you think? I don't know.

What is this? Okay. I don't know, just something. Hmm.

Some kind of product that kind of fits together with the whole sleep stuff. Instead of lots of different products, just like maybe just one. Maybe have a really comfy bed, like a sleep, sleep nights.

Sleep nights. This is weird. It's an advert here.

But it's not even, there's more to Argos. Okay, it's an advert for Argos. So sleep, sleepy nights, beds, is that what it's called? Miracle Kingside mattress, silent nights.

So it's very, very, very small writing. So it's basically, it's an Argos. Wow.

Hmm. So just have a look. There's a story about Davina McCall, which is not a nice story, but fits in with the Big Brother because she was, Davina was the face of Big Brother for what, 15 years? I don't know, maybe not 15, over 10 years at least.

And she loved Big Brother. You could see, you know, when someone does something, you know, they love it. You can tell by their facial expression or by their voice that they're really enjoying what they're doing.

That was Davina. There's a big thing at the moment about prisoners being released by accident. But it's not their fault, is it? You know what I mean? Like, if you're released, depending on what crime it was, but if you're released, then it's not your fault if you leave, is it? And apparently some prisoner was released a couple of weeks ago.

And he kept saying, no, you're making a mistake. And he hung around for hours outside the prison, and they wouldn't let him back in. So he left.

And then the news got hold of it. And he became, became this huge story. But he was, I mean, it's a bit like the, oh, what is it called? Not the Rockford Files.

What's the caveman TV show? Freddie Flintstones. Do you know the beginning of Flintstones when he keeps chucking the dinosaur out? And in the end, he ends up out and he couldn't get back into the house. I guess it's nothing like that really, is it? Star Hopkins, not proud as he tells of brutal side.

He's been getting a lot of press lately, Mr. Hopkins. Quite a few different things I've noticed are coming up. He's 87.

His latest memoir, We Did Okay, Kid. See that? I find that very, very intriguing. What motivates someone of his age to do something new, unless he's done previous memoirs, but it's, there's something, isn't it? So that's 87.

And to still be planning for future stuff. And it's, it's quite amazing, really. Mind you, not all the press he's getting is good.

There's a few weird things. But I think, I don't know if it's a newspaper or someone was attempting to cancel him, I think that it didn't work. Some people I think are just beyond being cancelled.

Because they genuinely don't care. They're not relying upon like huge popularity anymore. Jennifer Lawrence on a new film.

Okay. Put the fun into fundraising. So okay, I know.

Whatever happened to what's his name? Rod Gilbert. What happened? I know that he became unwell. But is he still around? I mean, is he? Is he? Is he okay now? I don't know.

I hope he's okay. I never knew him. I never knew Rod.

So, all right. Right, okay, I'll move on from that. I'm going to move on.

I hope he's all right anyway. What I've been doing is, I don't know if I mentioned this, I've been going through my Let Me Bore You To Sleep recordings, the transcripts that is. And instead of just, you know, they're all numbered from one all the way to 1,000.

Whatever it is I've done. What was yesterday's one? 1,484. So you know, there's quite a few recordings and transcriptions.

Now it got to the point where actually just the number didn't mean much. But if I started organising them by year and month, they started to take on a different kind of meaning. So what I've got on my laptop is I started a bunch of files for year.

So year starting in 2018 is when I started doing them. And then all the way to now. And I think I've now done up to about September 2020.

And I've done just under 500 that I've gone through. So it's kind of, it starts to make a little bit more sense when it's done by date. And I can start to look at it maybe in a sense of maybe a diary, maybe a, I don't know, I don't know what, because I'm thinking I've got all this material, a lot of which is complete rubbish, I know, but I've got a lot.

I mean, out of 1500 recordings, each one lasting at least an hour, some lot longer. Of me talking about stuff. There's got to be something, you know, there's got to be some, some kind of something, something there that I can use to create a book of some kind.

Or to at least give me the frameworks for a book, which I can then add to myself. Unless I just go for diaries, my diary, 9, 2018. Let me board your sleep diary, 2019, and so on.

And maybe do that and talk about what's happened. Go through what's happened in the year in the world and my thoughts on it. Thinking back and also what I was thinking about it and talking about at the time.

Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I seem to be doing these more regularly. I generally say the date of the recording, I'll write down the date as well.

Was it the ninth of November Sunday today? I don't know. I don't know. Newspapers.

Okay, so from here to maternity. Jennifer Lawrence and writer director Lynn Ramsey talked to Lynn Rusk about portraying postpartum psychosis in their movie. Okay.

Robert Patterson. They look in love. They look in love.

She got to kiss Batman. Is he going to be in Batman again? Or was that it? Anyone? Getting down to fundraising business. What is this for? Children in need? When is children in need? So they're protomotor.

When is it? Is it this Friday then? If they're talking about it now. Comedian and TV presenter Paddy raised an incredible 10.5 million for children in need last year by riding 300 miles on a chopper bike across the UK. 10.5 million.

That, I mean, that is a lot, isn't it? That's an incredible amount of money to raise for ride around on your chopper. I mean, he made 10.5 million using his chopper. Wow.

The only problem, I mean, this is my own issues with this. These fundraisers, and they are brilliant. Of course they are.

I mean, what can be what could be? It's just great, isn't it? Helping people, raising money for charities and stuff. I just can't. I can't do the, I can't go from like laughing, which is specifically the comic relief.

What children need is comic relief, isn't it? Yeah, it's comic. Is it comic relief? Maybe it's not. But they generally they have like lots of comedy, and then they tell you a sad story, you know, to raise money.

And it's, I can't kind of switch myself between the two. So I remember I was watching it was like, I think it was comic relief. And there's a really funny sketch for Ricky Gervais.

And I had a new girlfriend. She went into the kitchen to make a cup of tea. And she wanted to go.

I didn't ask her to make up tea. She was in the kitchen doing a washing up. And I was watching comic relief, which is, you know, comedians all get together, do sketches, and then they raise money for other countries in need and stuff like that.

Ricky Gervais does this sketch where he's in, but it looks like he's in a very part of the world, which is very poor, and doesn't have enough water and needs help. And as the sketch carries on, you realize that it's just basically he's in a studio. There's a very funny sketch.

So I'm laughing. My new girlfriend comes out of the kitchen, just as the screen turns over to a young orphan. And like a young orphanage and all the kids, like just like on their own and have been it's really horrible setting.

And there's no beds or anything. So she walks in and looks at the screen looks at me and I'm laughing my head off. I wasn't laughing at what was on the screen.

When she walked in, I was just laughing at what just happened. I don't think she liked me very much after that. The thing is, you might say, well, just explain it and stop laughing.

Have you ever tried to stop laughing? Like stop. It makes it more funny. And the idea that she just walked in and saw me watching that and laughing made it even funnier, funnier than the Ricky Gervais sketch in my mind.

So not only was I laughing when she came in, I was continuing to laugh as they showed more and more horrible stuff on this TV show. More deprivation and stuff that needed money, you know, raised. And I was just literally rolling around.

I wasn't rolling around, but I was laughing. And I wasn't pointing at the TV laughing. I wasn't like, oh, look at that.

It wasn't that kind of situation. But I just kept looking, looking at her looking at the screen and just the look on her face. The disappointment.

I know that look. As I said to her, you're the first woman to be disappointed in me. Yeah, I know.

I very much know that look. And I couldn't stop. Could not stop.

It happened once at a funeral. That's the worst time. It was.

It's probably not funny if I explain it, but I'll explain it. So we had the funeral. I didn't laugh in the funeral.

There's nothing. I don't think there's anything funny about funerals. Well, just in case you think I'm being, you know, disrespectful, I'm not.

But something made me laugh outside when a lady walked up to my auntie. Okay, so it was my uncle's wife that passed away. She walked up to my auntie.

I said, oh, hello, and called her by the name of the person that was just buried. And I could not stop laughing. It just hit me like, because that was, you know, heavy going.

It was my first. It was my second funeral I'd ever been to. The first funeral I'd been to as a kind of adult.

I think I was 17 at the time. 17, 18. First family member, you know, so it was kind of a first really.

First where there's, you know, I went to one when I was in the kid's home. But that was, everything was done in the church in house. So there was no outside people.

So yeah, I had to just like, get out, get away from the situation because it was just so ridiculously funny. Another thing, I was dating this other lady, and her daughter, so she had a daughter, was about 13. And she chucked, I don't know if she was particularly happy that her mom was dating anyone.

And she chucked a brick through the window. Okay, not great. Police were called.

She ran off. So the police were looking for her. A couple of police came into the living room.

So I was in the living room with her mom. She was watching telly. And I'd known her for years anyway.

But anyway, she, the police said to her, she was asking her questions. Have you got any other kids? Oh, you got two? I said, What? You got two other kids? And I knew she had two other kids, but it's just I really made it out like I was surprised. And she couldn't stop laughing.

Because this was a serious situation. And, you know, it was, yeah, it was quite serious, not a great situation. She couldn't stop laughing and the police were laughing.

One wasn't, one was. One was just looking at me like, yeah. In fact, he might have actually made that sound.

Inappropriate laughing. What other times have I inappropriately laughed? Probably loads of times. I can't think of anything offhand.

And yeah, not one I can tell you actually, there's just there was one during a counseling session, someone said to me something that was so it was just out of the blue, I did not expect it. And I didn't laugh, but I nearly laughed. And it would have been really inappropriate to laugh.

But I nearly did. And I had to keep it in. And I had another another couple of clients when I was counseling, that did make me laugh.

As this young lad, and I don't know what it was, he said something. Or I said something. And we both started laughing.

I think he started laughing, then I started laughing. And then we kind of calmed down. And then every time one of us went to talk, we were laughing.

In the end, we had to just stop the session. And like carry on next week, because it wasn't going anywhere. We couldn't couldn't do it.

Every time I went to talk, he was laughing. That's why if you ever do counseling, don't wear a bucket on your head. There's certain things I want to do that now.

You know, when I say bucket, I mean, obviously, you have to cut holes in so you can see the person you're talking to. But it's very echoey. I was going to do a book with one of my fellow counselors, we're going to write a book.

And it's going to cover things that was never told to us in junior training, or any time think things that we had to learn. On the job really, which is kind of every jobs like that, isn't it? There's stuff that you have to learn when you start doing it, that no amount of training is going to prepare you for. And she was she was interested in doing it.

And I said, Okay, I've got a title and everything. She said, Okay, well, I'm interested because I thought we'd write it together. She was much more academic than me.

She thought maybe I'd together we could like put together a nice little, just a little book. Yeah. And she said, What title have you got? I said, Well, okay.

It's a working title, but I think it's a brilliant really works really well. She said, What is it then? Okay. What if I need to fart? And she said, What if I need to fart? She said, Does it? Yeah.

She looked at me in disbelief. Are you serious? Yeah. What do you mean? I said, Well, it's self explanatory, really, isn't it? She said, Yeah, but what do you put? What? What's that got to do with counselling? I said, Are you telling me that you've never been in a room with a client? And you need to fart? You can't just let one off Kenya, when you're talking to someone, and they open up about some terrible thing that's happened.

You can't just like squeeze one out. Can you imagine that now? Imagine being in a room, talking to a counsellor, if you've had counselling before, waiting for them to respond. And all you hear is a fart, a bit of gas being released, high pitched.

And that that would be awkward. She said, So basically, you want to write a book about farting? I said, No, no, that's it. That's a separate book altogether.

This is it's just an example of one thing. There's gonna be lots of other stuff that we're going to cover. Do we need to, you know, in a situation of being in counselling, things that counsellors have to deal with.

So it's more than just that. She said, What other things? I said, Well, what if you need to do a poo? She said, Is this all we're going to do? Just talk about things involving your bum? I said, No, no. There's times when you get itchy balls.

I'm so childish. But if you have an itch, you ever get an itch and you really want to scratch it, but you can't because unfortunately, you're in the middle of getting married or something, you know, it's if you're in an interview, a job interview, you can't just stand up and just put your hand down your trousers and scratch yourself or bend over and let out some gas, you know, it's or just walk off.

So excuse me, I need to do a poo.

And then you know, like, Why didn't you talk? Why didn't I get the job? You'd be surprised you get the job. Is it because I farted? No. Is it because I scratched myself? No.

Is it because I had a poo? Well, it wasn't because you needed a poo. What is it then? It's because you did it in the plant pot. Okay, so there's there's always there's a line you can't always cross.

It's a learning experience, isn't it? Oh, best films stand by me is on La La Land. I've never watched La La Land. Never watched it.

Is it any good? Genuinely don't know. American Psycho, I've seen that before. Prey.

This prequel to the Predator movies surpasses all of them. Really? I don't remember that. Prey.

I do not remember Prey. Let's have a look. Prey.

Prey. Movie. How did I? How could I not seen that? Oh, I think I know what it is.

Okay, I think I know what it is. Is the TV have been advertising that movie? I thought it was a new movie. But it's not.

It's a new movie that they're showing on TV. And I don't think I've seen it. I don't think I have.

I really don't. Oh, he's saying his hands down the best installment in a Predator film franchise I've ever seen. Even put it above the original.

And I don't think I ever watched the Predator, like the movie with Arnold. I don't know why I watched a lot of his movies. But I don't think I ever watched that one.

Just didn't get around to it. Is that weird? I don't know. Let's have a look.

Just having a quick look. What is this? Daddy's call. Celebrations Westlife left to right.

Kian Egan, Shane Phelan, and Nikki Burr are marketing or marking the band's 25th anniversary. I tell you what I like about Westlife. Where is the other singer? That doesn't work without him.

Your No. Westlife. How can you work without? It can't.

I'm sorry. Westlife. Now I know that they had horses named leave.

So Westlife. But he's an integral there's now three members left out of five. Now I know, initially, Mark Feehilly.

So the members, Nikki Burns, Kian Egan, Shane Phelan and Mark Feehilly. Mark Feehilly is as important as an as as important as I don't even know who's the singer. Shane.

Shane's the main singer, isn't he? Yeah, he is important to Shane. Because they both have very different sounds very different voices. But Mark Feehilly is he's got the powerful voice.

That makes no sense. Why is he on? I hope he's okay. But then you had the original person that was in it.

Brian McFadden. I don't know why he left. I mean, he did.

He did his solo career and any. He did go on to be a bit of a celebrity in the UK and he became a TV presenter and all kinds of stuff. He did have a number one single unbreakable 2002.

Nope. Westlife released their 11th UK number one single unbreakable. Really? 11th? Just in that short time, they had 11 number ones.

Westlife achieved a Guinness World Record for the most public appearances by a pop group in 36 hours. I'm dying without wings. I listened to their songs.

And you know, even when they do covers, they're so good. I mean, you know, in my opinion, so good. So classy sounds so lovely.

And I don't imagine they could do a cover without sounding good. As long as Mark's in it. He has to be in it.

Why is he not in it? I hope he's okay. I want to check on him. No, I don't want to call him up.

But it says on hiatus. That just means a break, doesn't it? Always got hemorrhoids. Best known for becoming one of the most successful music groups of all time with 15 number one appearances.

So he's also the highest charting LGBT singer on the UK singles charts. Six to solo career. Has he done solo stuff? See, I've never seen any of his solo stuff.

I've never even heard he did it. Which I don't know why. Apparently he appeared on the third series of the Masked Singer as Robo Bunny.

He reached the final and finished in third place. I would have guessed. It's easy to say that, isn't it? But I probably would have guessed.

He's got a quality to his voice. Unless he changed his voice, you know, when he sung. And it might change him to sound like a rabbit.

Maybe dressed as a rabbit would be distracting. Perhaps that's the point. But he's not saying anything about his hiatus.

I don't know. I just think he's got an amazing voice. I'm crying without wings.

Yeah, he's. I mean, I think both of them. He's never the lead singer.

But he's kind of the, like the chorus singer, almost. Anyway, they were on tour. I wouldn't go and see it without.

What's his name? Mark. I wouldn't, I wouldn't go and see. No, it'd be no, no, I wouldn't.

Couldn't do that. No. I think once a member of the group leaves.

Someone as important as that. So, you know, let's say the Beatles, if they were, let's say they split up earlier on. And, or Paul McCartney decided he didn't want to be in it.

It couldn't, it needed both Paul McCartney and John Lennon, I would say. Take one of those out, and it wouldn't be the Beatles anymore. I mean, it wouldn't be the Beatles without the other two either.

But generally, it's they were the two. Main singers when they were. Yeah, I mean, I know some people prefer what's his name? Well, it's all right.

Look, it's got someone with a dressing gown on. Lily Allen, fronting it out at Oscars of the fashion world. Lily Allen, oh cool, good for you.

Why has someone turned up at an awards show in a dressing gown? That seems a bit unusual. Creature Feature Ah, just having a look, play time, far from over for EastEndersLegend. Oh dear, they've been talking about Anita Dobson a lot recently, I wonder why that is? Anyone? I don't know why anyone, I don't know why.

I really don't, oh Russell Grant, let's have a look at the stars for me, oh my Virgin Virgo. When it comes to relationships, time spent with each other is key. If a romance or friendship has just begun, don't expect strong bonds immediately.

With time, you will both gain a better understanding of each other. What's clear now, is things are heading in a positive direction. I'm not in a relationship, I don't know anyone, it can't be for me.

What relationship? Me and Vinnie? Me and him? Me and my dog? I don't know. There's some others there but, oh well. Just see if there's anything else in this, I've only covered one newspaper.

It hasn't quite had the complete ridiculousness of some of the other newspapers. There's a more kind of sensible paper, so that is the Wales on Sunday. It's not a bad little paper actually.

It's not sensationalist, I think. As for example, the Daily Star on Sunday. I wonder how I get to see the sun, read the sun.

But it's not even daily. Let's have a look. What have we got? The Observer on Sunday.

Sunday Mail. Daily Star. Sunday Express.

Sunday Mirror. Sunday People. Oh well, that's it really.

It's now 3.43pm in the afternoon and we've got about half an hour before it gets dark outside. Oh my goodness, I've never been so excited. It's amazing, isn't it? I'm looking forward to the spring.

I wonder if we'll get any snow this Christmas or this winter. Will there be any snow? There was last year, but I think it snowed and then it was all melted by the time I got out of bed. Apparently it settled and then it was gone.

It'd be interesting, because we had snow the year before, or did we? Or maybe the year before that. Because I'm coming up to the third anniversary of having Vinnie live with me. Another three weeks or so.

Four weeks and it'll be a year. I'll have to look through my podcast to find out the exact day. But it was because I would have done a podcast saying, I've got a new dog.

But yeah, it was a Saturday, I know that much. And it was around the same time that I fell down the stairs. Just before I fall down the stairs.

So, wow. Three years. Anyway.

That's me, I think. I'm going to go. Oh, look at this.

Sorry, I've just got to have a quick look. See who this is a picture of. Kel, get me in the jungle.

Kelly Brook. Kelly Brooks. Is she going into the jungle? Kelly Brook is set to bring glamour to the jungle as I'm a celebrity's probable star-studded line-up this year have been revealed.

Vinnie's just dropped one. The model 45 is reportedly competing for years after insisting she would never do it. It is rumoured that she will be joined by a former lioness, Alex Scott and funny folk Ruby Wax and Eddie Caddy.

The late Osbourne's son Jack, plus influencers Vogue, Williams and Angry Ginge are also said to be jungle bound. Spandale Ballet, Martin Kemp, Soap Stars Shona McGarty and Lisa Riley. Reality TV's Tom Red.

Tom Reed Wilson. Don't need three names. And rapper H are also lipped, tipped to appear.

Lipped, tipped. Shona, I think I've seen her before. See Kelly, I don't know why they called her a model.

Like she used to be a model. But she's been a radio presenter for years. Yeah, I mean, she's known for.

Um. What's she known for? She's got known for being a model, I guess, in the past. But she was a model age 14 or something, modeling jeans.

So she's been around a long time. I mean, yeah, she was around in the 90s. She's now 45.

So. Think about it when she was. When she was 19, when she was 14.

I was 24. So since 1994, 31 years. She's been in the public eye.

Weird, isn't it? You think about it like that. But she's a radio presenter. And I'm going to just see how long she's been doing that for.

Because I think it's quite a while. Kenny Brooke. English actress and model.

Born 1979. See, I don't know. It's going on about a modeling career.

Brooke's modeling career began at 16. Okay, I was close. She worked on her own.

Okay. So, yeah, 16. She's been in movies.

Been a reality TV show. She's been on TV. But she's actually.

She's right since January 2019. She's co-presented heart London drive time. And Saturday breakfast with Jason King.

So at six years, she's been hosting a radio show. But they're still talking about. She's a model.

She's been model. She doesn't do that anymore. So it's just like.

It's like they don't. Let's have a bit more respect. For the big tip for.

For Kelly. I forgot her name. Kelly Brooke.

And she. Didn't she even host a big breakfast for a little while as well. She's done loads of things.

She wasn't a paid free girl. No, she wasn't. Anyway, so that's the end of this record.

I need to do a bit of research online. So thank you for listening. Remember to be kind to yourself because you do deserve to be happy.

And be gentle with yourself. You deserve to feel safe. And I will be back again tomorrow.

With Monday's boring objects. Lots of love. Bye.