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Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland and this is going to be a very, very, very, very relaxing, very, very sleepy session. It's to Let Me Bore You To Sleep. I'm just going to be talking and maybe you'll find that you will fall asleep.
At the very least you can relax. Now please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. If you are watching this on TikTok then the full version will be on YouTube, the video or the audios will be on any podcast, you know, Apple podcast or Spotify, all those places.
Or you can just go directly to my website jasonnewland.com and listen to the podcast there. Now this is going to be, this is going to be one of those intentionally really, really boring recording. Because normally as you may, you may realize that when you listen to me that I'm sometimes super exciting to listen to.
And you may find yourself getting overstimulated. And at the end of it, instead of falling asleep, you might be raring to start building some kind of Lego castle, you know, or just decide to train to become an accountant, you know, something exciting like that. But not with this recording.
I think we're definitely going in a one direction with this. And the direction is more relaxed and sleepier. More relaxed.
So I guess I'll just be chatting. But you might find yourself drifting. And a good thing about this is it's the stress relief you can experience.
The anxiety relief that you can feel. It's almost like the, that tension and stress and anxiety is starting to just leave your body, leave your mind. Of course, I've got a little vinegar at my feet, chewing on a bone, which he wasn't doing before I started this recording.
He likes to, I think he likes to be part of things. Yeah, he's a good boy, really. Are you a good boy, Vinnie? Woof, woof.
See, he said yes. Those watching on a video may realize that it was me doing the woof, woof. But if you listen on the podcast, you probably thought it was Vinnie.
But I do want to be completely open and honest with everyone and just let you know that if you're just listening to the audio, it was actually me that did the woof, woof. Not Vinnie. Just for transparency.
But it is him making the crunching on the bone sounds. Because although I might be a master ventriloquist, I haven't mastered being able to talk and make the that sound. And I know that did sound exactly how he sounds.
But I can't do both at the same time. You may wonder, you think, well, I'm not watching this live, not listening live. So maybe he's added those sounds in after the recording.
I mean, admittedly, I am a bit of a wizard when it comes to special effects. And that's how I managed to make myself look so handsome on the camera. So Yavin Viral.
I wonder if there's any testosterone left in me. I wonder if there's any, I do wonder about that. Maybe this isn't the right time to really discuss it, but just came into my mind.
Do I even have any hormones? Perhaps I should get hormone replacement therapy. What would happen with my hair grow back? I don't know. When I start walking around like a. Or acting all tough.
Like that. That's me acting tough. Maybe if I had some testosterone.
Toblerone, testosterone, Toblerone, that'd be nice. Mind you. There's certain things I can't do anymore.
Bungee jumping is one of those things. I never could. I mean, it's not that I'm afraid of the heights.
I'm afraid of like crashing. And that dip. I mean, some people enjoy that dip, don't they? Like in their tummy, like on a roller coaster.
That's the sound I make on a roller coaster. But no one's ever heard it. Not that I've been on many roller coasters, but they're quite.
Noisy things. So when everyone else is like screaming. Like that, exactly sounds like that.
I'm going. I haven't always been a master of. Voices and sounds and stuff.
And always been. Super talented. I mean, any, any scenario I can do a sound for it.
Anything you named. So I'm just trying to think off the top of my head. And a dart.
A dart hitting the bullseye. Whoosh. Bullseye.
Then you could include the crowd like. Hey, hit the bullseye. I could do the sound of a train going past.
Choo choo choo choo. So it's a different sounds I could do, but I'm trying not to make this too exciting. For those listening.
I would say for those watching, but. The idea is not really to watch me. But to.
Allow yourself to. You know, just let go of everything. It's a bit like.
You know, when you get in. From the rain, you know, it's raining outside and. You get indoors.
And. It drenched through maybe and. You can just take all your clothes off and just leave them at the front door.
Go and sit down on the sofa and. Just wait for your nan to bring a cup of tea. It's just that letting go.
Have you ever been kicked out of a supermarket. For just hogging all the heat. You know, in the winter and have those heaters going on.
And you're just like, oh, this is nice. You just stand in the doorway. But then the doors keep closing and opening and closing and opening.
And. I don't know when that happens, I feel powerful. It's like I've got some kind of special like I'm imagining that I open the doors open and they open and now close and they close and now open again.
Sometimes they stay closed. If I move my foot, they open again. Something, you know, it's like.
There's something about taking control of my environment. But not in a controlling way. Just in a disruptive way to other people.
No, just. I like being warm when it's cold, but sometimes I don't like being cold when it's warm. So air conditioning.
I'm not a big fan of air conditioning. I mean. I'm not scared of air conditioning.
I don't feel the same way about air conditioning as I do about. I don't know, crocodiles. Or volcanoes.
Although volcanoes are very beautiful to watch. Probably not so much if you're like at the bottom of one. Or if you're living on one.
But, you know, from a distance through a television. Lovely, beautiful things. Did you know that the most fertile, fertile, fertile land is volcano ash? So basically this whole world, this whole planet is basically every planet, every.
Every country, every landmass is being created by volcano ash. About 300 years ago. That might not be right.
But I think in today's age, the main, the main thing is that. I believe it. Therefore, that's enough, you know.
What's it like when you just focus on your mind? I mean, you might be having thoughts about this recording thinking. What the heck's going on? Paul McKenna doesn't do this. This is.
This isn't. This isn't normal. Shouldn't he be telling me to go to sleep? Well.
In all fairness, I mean, you know, if you're going to be serious, super serious and. Should I put a serious face on? I don't know how to. Yeah, I suppose serious voice.
This is my serious voice. Yes. Well, actually.
I don't know if you're going to be. I don't know if you're going to be. Solemn.
I've never been solemn. This there has been times when I've taken myself too seriously. Very, very infrequently throughout my life.
There's been a few occasions. And I didn't enjoy being that person. And I can't say I've much enjoyed being around.
People that take themselves super seriously. It's not about not taking what you do seriously, not looking after yourself and protecting yourself or, you know, that's, you know, serious stuff. But someone's kind of so.
Everything's serious. And we all we all know someone like that. There's nothing wrong with that.
It's just. I just prefer not to be like that, because. Even if you've got no money, you've got nothing really in the world in kind of the way of worldly goods.
And you're not in a relationship and maybe you don't have any friends, much or anything like that. And maybe you're getting old and overweight and no hair and. You know, you can still look on the bright side.
Of life. Oh, my goodness. When I say it like that, I can't see a bright side anymore.
Wow. No, but. Being able to laugh at ourselves.
I think is a superpower. Although I don't like being laughed at. I don't think there's anybody really.
So, you know, I make fun of myself. It doesn't mean I necessarily want other people to make fun of me. You know, I don't want people.
Going on and on about. How seriously good looking I am, I make fun of that. It's not my fault, but I like to tease the idea and like, well, it's just what I have to bear, isn't it? Me, Johnny Depp.
Cillian Murphy, whatever his name is, is like we've just Brad Pitt, George Clooney. We've just got to deal with that. We've got to deal with the idea that, you know.
There's we got good genetics. And. You do your best with it.
Because it's quite difficult sometimes being the odd one out, you know, you go to a party and you realize. You're the most best looking person there. It's not fair on everyone else.
And the ironic thing about what I just said there. Is. There's going to be some people listening to this thinking.
Wow. He really thinks he's good looking. He's really, really arrogant.
Honestly, there will be. I've had that before. And.
And that's that's what I mean. People like that, they can't dislike, aren't able to see the humor, the humor. Then there's people, I mean.
Relaxing and letting go. There's things that get in the way of sleeping. There's things that can get in the way of us relaxing.
And in order to sleep, you need to relax. So when you go to bed. Well, OK, I'll talk from my own personal perspective.
When I go to bed. I don't go to bed to go to sleep. I'm just grateful to.
Lie down. Stretch out. Turn on my side because I can't sleep on the back, I'll turn on my side.
And I just do enjoy. The comfort of your body. As it relaxes.
And. It's nice. There's no pressure.
It's not like I'm thinking to myself. I must go to sleep. I must go to sleep.
There's no voice in my head shouting. I mean, how would I understand it if I spoke like that anyway? I have had that in the past. But ultimately.
When you just let go of the idea. Of going to sleep. Falling asleep.
I don't know if we perhaps we use words we shouldn't use for. Falling, it's almost you're falling. I never fell asleep in my life.
I fell out of bed a few times. You drift off to sleep. Some people.
Their head touches the pillow. And they're gone. And then they wake up in the morning.
And they realize, they realize in a shop full of the pillow shop. And they were just testing a pillow out. No, that's silly.
Can you imagine that? It's got a touch of put a pillow to your head and you're asleep. Wow. I feel the only time that ever happened to me.
Was. I was working in a bakery. Well, this is my memory and I did I did 100 hour week.
So I was doing double shifts 16 hours a day. And I was coming home. And I was asleep.
I mean, I literally had eight hours. From leaving the job. To get back to the job.
So I had to get home, which is an hour sleep. Get something to eat, go to sleep, get something to eat and come back. And.
So yeah, that was that was I would like just fall asleep and bang gone. I guess that was more due to physical exhaustion and mental exhaustion. Because just being awake for so long and even I wasn't doing anything mentally stimulating.
I still had to focus on what I was doing. Because I was dealing with. Very, very hot machinery.
So I had to be careful that I didn't get burned. So. I remember I got.
Cash. For that week. And I got paid £250 cash after taxes.
For 100 hours. Which works out at £2.50 an hour. Which is not a lot of money.
And that was after tax so. Probably I don't know how much tax I paid probably about £100 tax. Or National Insurance and tax.
Something like that. But then compared to other jobs I had around that time. I was getting paid like £100.
£240 a week. So yes it's a lot more than what I was normally getting. I'm not sure how well I slept when I was a security guard.
When I was doing nights. I was trying to think. I used to fall asleep though yeah I did.
When I was there. I remember one night I was trying to read a book. And I fell asleep reading a book.
And then I woke up. It wasn't a very exciting story was it. But that's my book reading story.
I do remember when I was working in a bakery I'd feel so tired sometimes and. I'd be travelling back. Maybe I wasn't doing 100 hour shifts but 100 hour shifts.
But I'd still be tired and. I remember once I was on the bus. Sitting at the top of the bus on the left hand side.
Which is where the bus stop would be. The different bus stops and. I woke up one stop away from where I was getting off.
Luckily. I fell asleep. And I woke up and I looked down and all these people were looking up at me.
And I thought what would have recognised me. Because sometimes I'd think I was famous. Realising that you kind of have to do something to be famous.
And. I realised that actually what they were looking at was the dribble. And I've been dribbling.
I was all over the window. All over my top. And.
It's a true story. I thought about you know going home and writing a poem about it but. I never got around to it.
I used to be into poetry. Used to write songs when I was really young. I fell in love when I was about 14.
Wrote a song for this lady or this girl at school. I love you. Oh I do.
I really do. Love love you. Oh.
Now I need a poo. Yeah. They weren't all great.
If I'm honest with you. But. I mean I wrote a song when I was about eight or nine.
Called. Mandy. I've talked about this before but.
Was it Mandy baby. Listen to me. Mandy baby.
I want you to see. I want you to hear. Mandy dear.
I want you to hear. And I don't want. A single tear.
Because. This was now to the chorus really. Really the because was the bridge.
I know sometimes the bridge is a little bit longer than that but. Um. This next bit is the bridge because.
I love you Mandy. Mandy I do. I just want to know if you love me too.
Just say something. I want to know. Just say something.
Like hello. Like Mandy. I love you.
Yeah that was that was a song Mandy. I did um. Did one for someone called Sarah when I was about 14.
Sarah baby. Listen to me. Sarah baby.
I want you to see. Sarah dear. I want you to hear.
I don't want a single tear. I love you Sarah. Sarah I do.
I'm joking and the Sarah one was um. I was trying to keep a straight face when I did that one. Okay.
And Sarah was dear Sarah. How do you do? Hope you're missing me the way I'm missing you. I just point out she didn't like me at all.
She was not missing me. Dear Sarah. How do you do? That's a bit of a weird opening isn't it? How do you do? That's kind of like a a first introduction.
You know when someone introduces you like oh here's my weird friend Jason. Oh how do you do? He's the he's a psychiatrist and he's going to be looking after you for the next three weeks. Oh how do you do? You know that that kind of thing but.
Seems a little bit clinical. Dear Sarah. How do you do? Hope you're missing me the way I'm missing you.
Do you think about me in your dreams? If you do think about out what it means. Now this next bit I think is quite deep. I was 14 years old.
Bearing in mind I was 14 years old and being deep wasn't probably my first priority. And the only two things I loved in life was boobies and karate. That was it.
There was nothing else that I thought about. So so do you think about me in your dreams? If you do think about what it means. This next bit.
You ready? Feelings are not always shown during the day. But when you go to sleep all your worries drift away. So I was already thinking about sending people to sleep when I was 14 years old.
Which was a few years back now. So I was destined to be the sleep master. The master sleeper.
It's better than being like a master baker I guess. But yeah the sleep master. Does that sound good? I don't know.
So this next this next bit was loud. This next bit I was quite pleased with. So when you go to sleep okay.
Do you think about me in your dreams? If you do think about out what it means. Not always what it seems. So feelings are not always shown during the day.
But when you go to sleep all your worries drift away. Then your feelings start to arise. Showing something that you didn't realise.
I mean I could have gone further with that. But when I got to that point I thought this is supposed to be a love song. And it seems to be going to some kind of Freudian analysis.
So I thought oh I didn't think that at the time because I didn't know about Freudian. Sigmund Freud or anything like that. I didn't start studying that stuff until I was I think 18, 17, 18.
And then showing something you didn't realise. Then I thought okay I need to backtrack. I love you.
There's nothing that I can do. This feeling is uncontrollable. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ho.
This feeling is uncontrollable. Actually I think I maybe wouldn't have done that twice would I? I'm going out of my mind. There's nothing that I can do.
Because I love you. Sarah. I love you.
Yeah I mean I wrote that. It's not bad for a kid is it really? I mean I was never going to be you know. I wasn't quite in Ed Sheeran's category.
I don't know what he was doing when he was 14. Hiding from people that. Hiding from ginger haters probably.
I don't know. I've got no idea. Because it's weird you know you hear these really good singers, really amazing songwriters and like wow.
Like the Beatles for example. If you listen to the old stuff the Beatles did before they started writing their own songs. Or some of the old stuff that they did.
It's not all great. And as far as the. I mean they were just basically just doing covers.
Just singing other bands music. And even then they weren't. I don't know.
It's when they started doing their own stuff. That they kind of. I just like the very first album.
I like their own stuff but the stuff that they did. That wasn't their own stuff or the stuff that wasn't like successful. And that's why Elvis Presley was.
He did so well because. He had a constant. Choice of songs to sing.
The best songwriters in the world were at his fingertips. Not literally. But he would always have first dibs wouldn't he.
Because he was. He was the king. Oh you want to talk about my back.
The background. Kara got me that. It's not quite finished but it's.
I need to do a bit more for this wall. That looks all right doesn't it actually. All things considered.
It looks better than it did before. So now I need to do something with this wall. Maybe and I've got another one to cover this but.
I need some nails. In fact what I'm going to do. While I'm on the talking.
I could do. Could order some nails on Amazon. But they have to be the kind of nails that.
Well nails. Not big nails. Nails.
Nails press-ons. What's an old that's that's like. No.
2000 piece nail assortment set. I just want small nails. Small nails.
Okay. This will have to do. I'm going to try and do this small nails.
It's getting to the point because I got. It's a thousand. I don't want a thousand.
I want seven. Can't order seven though can you. Let's go to a thing.
How much did it cost to me? Three pound. Delivered tomorrow. Proceed to checkout.
Continue checkout. Three pound. No no delivery fee.
So get it tomorrow. Okay that'll do. And then I'll be able to put the other one up.
Because the I got some. Cara sent some double-sided tape. It just fell off.
I couldn't understand it. It's supposed to hold quite strong. It was that gorilla one.
You know they're supposed to be like super good. I don't know. I think I did something wrong.
I'm not sure. But anyway and then I got some drawing pins. Drawing pins.
Yeah drawing pins. And I got two sets. Two different types.
I wasn't sure which one I'd need. And because the wall is hard. I couldn't just push the drawing pin into the wall.
It was weird because I remember doing that when I was a kid. I wouldn't have been stronger as a kid would I? Maybe they would go in. Maybe if I just pushed a bit harder.
I don't know. But anyway I couldn't push them in. They wouldn't go in with my finger.
So what I did. One was to be fair. The ones was like those metal ones with the flat bit you know.
So I couldn't hammer that in. Because I did nothing to hold on to it with. Underneath.
But the other ones were a little bit longer. But at the same time they were more for drawing boards. They're like coloured bits at the end.
And every time I hammered it the end would like split off. And quite often the little metal bit. The pin bit would bend or break.
I managed to get it in in the end. But it took a while. But now I see it.
I mean it could. It's not quite as bad as it used to be. Quite long enough.
But it's not far off is it. I mean I could get something else to cover that up a little bit. So and I know in the one corner of it.
It's like turned over so that I couldn't do something about that as well. So it's all kind of learning. Learning experience.
Yeah. I mean I kind of like to have it covered up. Because I don't.
I'm not enjoying these walls as much as I used to. I used to look at them and think. Oh it looks like mould.
Oh I like that. But not so much anymore. Now I look at it and I think.
God it looks like mould. But it isn't. It's just the backing of the.
Although I could get. I could just get some more soundproofing. And put it up there.
That would actually make sense wouldn't it. Let me have a look. How much is a soundproofing? Because what I had before.
Is. They didn't have. The backing.
I had to glue them. Onto the wall. Like the squares.
But the big long strips. They had backing and I could put them up and. I've got them all around the wall but.
Not this part. But I'm just thinking. I'd quite like to have some coloured ones.
Because blacks. Blacks okay but it'd just be nice to have. Just.
Blue, red, yellow. Just make it a little bit more. Colourful.
Potentially. Let's have a look. You're right I could do this later on.
But I want to do it now. I want to do it while I'm thinking about it. I find that sometimes the best time to do things.
Is. When you're thinking about it. You know what I mean.
Do you get me? There's a snap audio ultimate vocal booth. Wow. They used to be like blue and yellow and red.
I can't see any. Any. Of that colour here.
They used to be loads of blue ones. I wonder what's happened. Soundproofing panels for studio acoustics.
Maybe I'll have to have a look when I've. Got a bit more. Time.
Bit more time. A bit more. Oh found some blue ones.
Found some blue ones. 12 pack acoustic wall panels. Self adhesive.
And £16.19. Right I wonder how many it would take. Just to do that bit of wall. Not many would it? If I get.
Yeah I'm going to get some of them. And they've got back in. High density panels.
And they got back in that I can take off. Have they got back in? Well tell me what it is. 12 pack acoustic panels.
Self adhesive. Does that mean I've got to do it myself? Or it's got. A peely thing.
I don't know. Why things. But then it says 12 inch by.
12 inch. It's 12 inches a lot. That's a heck of a lot isn't it? 12 inches that's like.
I'd only need like one panel. 12 inches is the whole wall. Wow.
Noise reduction performance. Experience super. Superior sound control with self adhesive sample.
Premium acoustic material. Okay easy installation feature advanced. Self adhesive back in.
I think I think I think I think. I'm going to get them. They're not not expensive.
Proceed to checkout. See if there's any postage and package. Oh no.
And I've also got a £1.62 reduction. Blimey. I didn't expect that.
Is it going to come tomorrow though? That's what I forgot to say. I hope it will. Tomorrow 22nd.
I don't think I've ever been so excited. Someone's drilling downstairs or somewhere in the building. Just keep hearing.
Or some kind of something's vibrating anyway. If you've never listened to me before. What's the experience like? What's it like to? To listen to this kind of thing because.
I don't think anybody else does this the way I do it. You know I'm very. Some would argue very unfocused.
Very. Yeah, I mean I do sometimes talk about a specific subject. Focusing on a. Like Monday, for example, I talked about stand-up comedy.
But yesterday. I normally do a trivia Tuesday and I was going to talk about useless world records or past pointless world records. You know, like the 100 meters, you know that kind of stuff and.
I think I was 50 minutes into the recording when I realized I hadn't started talking about. The pointless world records. I couldn't even really tell you much about what I talked about.
So I don't think. I'm not saying this is a good thing, but I don't think anyone else does this. The way I do it.
I'm not saying that's a positive, just saying that kind of. If you do like what I do. Whatever it is I'm doing, I'm not really sure myself these days, but.
It's evolved or default, whichever way you look at it. Into this. Where.
There's no agenda. I'm just chatting. Really, all I'm doing just chatting.
Sometimes my voice goes a bit too high for no reason. If you remember further back in the recording, I was doing some pretty amazing. Mimics of things me me me.
And Buck Rogers, remember Buck Rogers that mini mini mini mini mini. That's still one of my favorite. I keep on saying inventions, but that's not the right word is it.
Mimics not really the right word, although it sounds funny if you say it. Mimic mimic. Impressions.
That's the word I was trying to find. But it hid from me just look for a word and they just. Looking for it like this is just a normal word that I use and I can't find it.
It just happens to disappear when you're in the middle of a really interesting conversation. And then maybe you're a party. You know, and then eventually you leave and you go outside and you find that word behind the bush hiding.
Why did why were you hiding? And it's like I thought it was funny. But you make me look silly. I couldn't find the word.
Couldn't find you and that's because I was hiding. So. And I'm going to ask this throughout the recording.
How are you feeling if you're still awake? How are you feeling? How are you feeling? Are you feeling OK? Me, me, me, me, me. How are you feeling? You feeling relaxed? You feeling. Loose.
And I suppose if you can answer, then I can ask, you know, are you feeling tired? And. How are you physically feeling? I'm feeling I'm feeling quite peaceful, actually, generally. I mean, you know, when I make these recordings, generally, I do have a few interruptions, which you don't see or hear in the recording or on the video, which throws me off a little bit.
You know, feel a little bark, so I want to come to the door. I'd be orangutan in the garden, you know, just normal stuff. And.
I just kind of like. I mean, why are they there playing chess in this weather? But I just like, OK, just I'll clap my hands and just. I started to think that because I do the clap the hand so I can mark it on the video, new audio, then I know where to edit.
But I'm starting to think that maybe Vinnie thinks that I'm actually rewarding him and applauding his barking. So when he barks and he said, I stop and I clap my hands. And maybe he's thinking, oh, daddy likes that.
I should do more of it. And daddy don't. And you really shouldn't.
No. There's been raining today. Got wet earlier.
Well, both of us did. He came out and we got as far as just before the park. And he dug his heels in, didn't want to move.
I think he just want to go back home because he didn't want to be in the rain. So I insisted and we went to the park. And he was literally just digging his heels in.
He didn't want to do anything. He didn't want to go anywhere. And in the end, we came out of the park.
We didn't do a proper walk like normal. Came out of the park and he went as far under the tree as he possibly could and went to the toilet. Almost to get me back.
Because for me to get under that tree, through all those branches, and it's not an easy task. You know, without getting my glasses knocked off or just getting tangled up. And I'm sure I hear him giggling.
So he does it on purpose. I don't know if he does or not, but it seems like sometimes he does. Like yesterday, I was talking to another dog walker.
And when I'm talking to another person, I get distracted. And I take my eyes off Finny for a second and he does something. This time, I didn't have the lead on a short lead.
I didn't have the lock on the lead and he just ran into the road. Bearing in mind, I was with another dog walker with the dog that's his friend. And we're walking a different way.
And straight away, he tries to run into the road to the other side of the road for no reason. And I was like, I need all my focus just on him. It's OK in the park.
Or in the fields. Or in the spaceship, but we don't do that anymore. But like on the pavement.
Next to the road. I kind of really have to keep an eye on him because he's just got his own. It's like he's got his own mind.
It's like he knows what he wants to do. And I don't get that. I don't understand.
He thinks he can just do what he wants whenever he wants. It's almost like he thinks. It's like he thinks he's the boss.
Although he is funny, he does make me laugh. Sometimes. Occasionally, it does make me laugh.
He is a good boy. He's also. He's reactive.
If he hears because when I do these recordings. I don't have any background sound. To distract him from the sounds of outside or in the hallway or other other people coming and going into the building.
So if he hears that he barks. Yeah, ironically. He never, ever, ever, ever barks at the dustman.
The when they pick up the garbage, the rubbish, whatever. They come through the building. They like make loads of noise.
Open up the cupboards, the rubbish cupboards is too. And they shout and swear and like very loud. He doesn't make a sound.
I know he's awake listening to it, but he doesn't make a sound. When he first moved in, he did. He used to bark every time.
And they only come every two weeks. And he does not bark one bit does not care. Yeah, if we hear a neighbor going into the front door.
Opposite or on the top floor or any, any flat, he'll bark. And you'd think you'd get used to that, wouldn't you? People going into their flats, people have lived there for years. You'd think he'd be used to that, but no.
It's something that happens every two weeks. He's used to. And he can't be sleeping through it, well, maybe he sleeps through it.
Just thinking I do sleep through it sometimes. But I'm in here listening to music. So maybe he does sleep through it.
But I wouldn't have thought that'd be something that he would sleep through because he's quite. He's a dog, isn't he? He's a dog. And.
No offense, but. I mean, it's not offensive to call someone a dog, is it? You know? But he's a dog. And he's aware of what's going on around him.
He's always listening. Always listening. I know he's listening to me right now.
And as soon as I say. In fact, I'll say these words now, right? I'm not going just yet, but I'm going to say the words and guaranteed he will get up, right? I'll tell you if he does or not. I'll be honest, right? If he gets up because at the moment he's laying down.
So bear with me. So thank you for listening. Remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy.
Remember to be. Yeah, you'd be wherever you forget the words now. So lots of love.
Thanks a lot. Bye. I didn't work.
Should do it properly. So thanks for listening. Remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy and be gentle with yourself.
You deserve to feel safe. And remember, you're going to be okay. Lots of love.
Bye. Is this up? So I said it properly that time and he's up on his feet looking at me. I won't say goodbye again when I finish because I said it twice.
And he was literally is awake now. He's sitting at my feet. Like, come on then, Dad.
What are we doing now? Nothing. We ain't doing nothing at all. I wonder what's going on downstairs.
I can hear. It's either downstairs or in the hallway. See if you want one of the flats downstairs or in the hallway.
It doesn't sound like it's upstairs. Sounds like a drill or summit-like flat. So I probably have something to eat.
I did get a delivery today, but I forgot to get his special T-R-E-E-E-T-S. And he's refusing to eat his dinner. So he's eating nothing today.
He's just blank refusing. Oh, well. It's up to him.
I'll put the food out. Probably about 10 o'clock. It's now half past one and he has not touched it.
He will because he'll be hungry. I'm surprised he's not hungry because he's not eaten anything since last night. But, you know, no, the food's still there.
Normally, I would get him one and give it to him and then he'd eat that and then he'd go and eat his dinner. So kind of, it's not a bad thing. It's kind of like his starter, as it were, or palate cleanser.
But I think I could actually go to sleep. I'm not going to, but I think I could. I could just drift off.
I just remembered it's Wednesday today, not Thursday. I should have done a whisper Wednesday today. I've completely forgot.
Why was I thinking it was Thursday? I've no idea. I really don't know. There's got to be a reason.
Why would I think that it's Thursday? Nope. Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. Nobody, nope.
Oh, my Internet's been really bad, like really bad recently. Last night, all day yesterday, it took me all day to upload my podcasts. And my video.
And today I managed to and last night. I was uploading the podcast last night from yesterday's one. And they took all night to upload.
I mean, we're talking like really small amounts of data being used. It's not good. I don't know.
I mean, I think what I'd quite like to do, depending, I have to sort of figure out whether or not it's a doable thing. Is to get the skylight Skylark. Which is the it's basically like a little satellite dish thing that you put on the side of your house, or they put it on for you.
And instead of relying upon the local Internet providers, you get like 250, 350 megabytes a second. Because it's it goes directly into space and back. So it's like.
I don't know if it goes directly into space, but it's anyway, it seems to this certain way it works. And I'm thinking, oh. But it's not cheap.
So we have to kind of think it through. Make sure I'm not caught up in any kind of long, long term contract. But the Internet, I don't even need like super, super strong Internet.
Or super speed, really. It'd be nice to get a lot more done a lot quicker, but. It'd just be nice to have something that can just do the normal stuff quickly, because uploading.
Podcasts should be fairly easy. I mean, the highest. Even the 10 hour recordings are only less than 300 megabytes.
And 300 megabytes is nothing. Yet. Yesterday, I kept trying to upload them and the Internet just couldn't do it.
And then I upload a video. So in this video, I do the editing for this and I. And then I save it. That's going to be like four, five gigabytes.
To upload that. It's hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours. And then I download it again.
Now, what I do is I record a video, I upload it to YouTube. Then I download it. Then I edit it.
And then I upload it again. So it's when I when I download it, when I upload is like four, five, maybe four gigabytes. When I download it, it's going to be less.
And then when I upload it again, it's going to be more again because I've edited it. But. I don't know, it seems to be OK.
It's very time consuming. I haven't written a song since 2000 and. Probably 2000, maybe 2001.
It's a long time, isn't it? It's like 20, 25 years. I've not written a song. I went through a little period over about.
Three years or whatever for between 1996 and about 2001. Where I used to write songs. And get some music done and so that, you know, not all the time, but just over that period.
I wrote a few songs. In fact, one of the songs I wrote was called I Wrote You A Song. It went something like this.
I wrote you a song. It took quite a long time. I played it to you and all you did was look out of the window and sigh.
And then I think go to the chorus. Why did I bother? Why did I try? Why did I even take the time? Why did I bother? Why did I try to write you that song? Because it didn't even play on your mind. Then there's another one.
This is one of my favorite ones. It's like why, why, why? I wonder, I wonder, wonder why. You had to leave and take your love away from me.
Why did, why did you cry? And then there's a chorus. Now, this is the bridge. Don't you worry.
You never do. Because someday I'll get over you. And then the chorus.
I wonder what you're doing now. Loving now. All the day.
Yeah, that's good. Not sure I really sold it to you though. I'm not sure I've given you the full flavour of that song yeah the same way that I did with Mandy and Dear Sarah I think I really I showed those to be what they were I think I gave a good demonstration but those last two songs then what was the other one I miss you I missed the way you kissed your lips and held your face with my fingertips I actually had to take a break after writing that down because I thought wow John Lennon would be proud of me for
coming up with lyrics like that I miss the feeling I miss the feeling of I don't know do that words but I miss kissing your lips and the feeling of your fingertips somehow that was oh no I missed the feeling of your kiss and touching your face with my fingertips I wish you'd come back to me if you'd be part of my world I miss you endlessly won't you be my girl I would do it to me show you exactly how I feel so that can you so that you know
my love is real now I'm not saying that I would win any awards but maybe it's just an idea maybe if I'd have continued writing songs maybe my songwriting would have got better and I might have actually come up with something good I mean I like my songs but maybe I'd have come up with something that other people may have liked you know I mean oh well so I'm gonna go thank you for listening I'm not gonna say goodbye again because I've already done that but thanks for listening take care lots of love bye
Paragraph spacing and recurring name or title errors have been tidied. Because this began as a voice transcription, an occasional word or piece of punctuation may still be incorrect.