(music) (10 hours) Whisper Wednesday LMBYTS #1531 Jason Newland 7th January 2026

Hello, hello, hello, hi, welcome to jasonnewland.com, my name's Jason Newland and this is Let Me Bore You To Sleep, whisper Wednesday, bam, bam, it's whisper, whisper, whisper, whisper, whisper, whisper, whisper, whisper, whisper, whisper, whisper, whisper, whisper, whisper, whisper, whisper, whisper, whisper, whisper, whisper, whisper, whisper, whisper, whisper, whisper, whisper, whisper, whisper, whisper, whisper, whisper, whisper, whisper, whisper, whisper, whisper, for a while. What's the date today? It's Wednesday the 7th of January, 2026.

I have to sort my notifications out because during my last recording it started like beep beep beep beep you know a notification alarm.

I shouldn't and I've got the button switched down so there shouldn't be any sound. I had something weird happen earlier today. I went on to TikTok and my main page had videos from other people.

Some of my videos were missing and videos from other people on there. That was weird. I don't know what happened there.

I turned off my phone and now it seems to be okay. But I'm not kidding. I'm trying to be quiet and because I'm trying to be quiet I'm making more noise.

So I'll try not to touch the desk. Yes. So this is my one, two, third day in a row where I have cooked myself an evening meal.

It's been the same every day. So what I do is I cook the potatoes. You just can't keep quiet.

I cook the potatoes. I boil the potatoes. I peel them first.

Make them really tiny. I mean they're not big to start with to be honest. And then I boil them up on number three on the hob.

Once they start boiling I then turn it down to number one. Put the lid on and then I put the chicken in the air fryer for 20 minutes. It's like a chicken breast for 20 minutes.

I go into the living room. I open the kitchen window. I go into the living room.

I open the kitchen window first otherwise there's too many drips. And then I do some stuff editing or whatever on the computer. I at the 20 minute mark it goes beep beep beep beep beep beep beep something like that.

So I go out there and I take the chicken out of the I leave it in for a little bit but what I do then is I pour some frozen veg mixed veg into the potatoes out of the bag. Put the lid back on and put it onto number three again. And then I take the chicken out of the oven.

The what's it air fryer. Put it onto a plate and I cut up the chicken. Cut it into little bits.

By the time I've kind of done that made myself a cup of tea. It's time for the like the veg is done everything's done. So I drain off the water with the saucepan lid.

It's kind of weird because the saucepan lid has got a hole in it. So it lets steam out when it's you know boiling and stuff. But if you try and pour water out it doesn't go out of that hole.

I'm not saying it doesn't go out but it doesn't all the water doesn't leave like you'd think it would unless I've got to turn it all the way upside down. I don't know but it just didn't seem to work. Yeah by this time I probably got the milk out and I poured it into my cup of tea.

I've left the milk out for the mash. I've got the margarine out. It's Bertoli.

So I don't know if that's oil more oil based um olive oil or something. And then I put the saucepan. It's not long I've got water in it and it's just got the potatoes and the mixed veg.

I pour in a little bit of milk a little dab of butter not a lot just you know a little fork of margarine or whatever it's called. And then I get the chicken from the plate and pour that in there and just mix it all around. I'm actually stirring underneath the desk and going like that but I didn't want to knock the desk just in case you wonder why I'm moving my hand.

Um it doesn't take too long really to do it to sort of stir it all together. I try and even it out and try and do it so the bits of chicken are really small. And then I pour the I mean it's a bit of mush really in a sense but it's colourful mush and it tastes nice.

So I pour it onto the plate. I then pour some tomato ketchup on the side of the plate so I can dip that into it because mashed potato and tomato ketchup oh I love it. I really like it a lot.

Yeah I filled the sauce but up with water because I used to be a kitchen porter so I've done a lot of washing up like as a job over the years. And the amount of people that work in kitchens that don't soak anything and when you get to actually wash it up you have to scrub with all your life to get it clean. If you soak the pans with water you don't have to scrub.

I mean depending on how long they've been soaked for. So because I'm not in a hurry I can soak my saucepan for as long as I want. So I do that I put that on the draining board.

I usually because I've got a knife and fork for my dinner I've got the knife that I've been cutting up the chicken using the fork to hold it down. Perhaps I should cook it first. Then I use a different fork tea bag out of the tea cup.

I've got like a tea mug it's blue because I don't I do have two spoons but they're both in the sink at the moment and soaking like so I'll wash up in the morning when I get up because I have ready break in the morning and that I mean seriously you could build a house with ready break use ready break instead of concrete porridge the same it's it's like super stuff it's really honestly so I oh yeah also I empty the sink of the potato peelings put them into a little

plastic container that's stationed in between the two taps like on top just between the two taps and it's a little container but it's just the right size for the potatoes the amount of potatoes I use I'd say I probably get two and a half mils per bag and these are only little bags they're big bags I mean technically I could probably cook less if I didn't give it to him but he loves it it's vegetables it's chicken it's healthy so he it's good for him to have um yeah so I

get the potato peel put that into a little container I scratch my ear so then what I do generally I leave the kitchen window open because I like to let the heat out I say let the I don't have the radio I don't have the radiator on in the kitchen so um the only time I'm in the kitchen is when I'm preparing food and apart from in the morning where it's just ready break and a kettle you know and the ready break the water milk is being heated two minutes and

10 seconds while I'm in the bathroom so what I do when I get up in the morning when it's time for me to have my breakfast I go into the kitchen I yeah I fill the kettle up I have to check the kettle for limescale because unfortunately we've got a lot of limescale the water's quite limescale here so this limescale I squash it around until I kind of cleared it out and I boil that kettle I'll use the same water when I have my cup of tea mid-morning or like four

or five hours later so I normally have two cups of tea per kettle and then wash up both the bowls and the spoons and put one bowl the smaller one on the draining board have both spoons on the draining board and then what I do is the bigger bowl which is more ideal for the ready break I have to make sure I rinse it out really well so there's no more washing up liquid on there now you know because I smell it I just smell the bowl I use my other

hand my right hand but if I lift my right hand I'm likely gonna knock the microphone which I don't want to do and I kept smelling the washing up liquid because I think it was like strawberry yeah strawberry or something I was like why am I smelling that still I've rinsed the bowl out and I realized it was bubbles on my hand so I was smelling the washing up liquid left just like between my thumb and my finger I had to have a laugh at that so now I make sure

I rinse my hand off as well and I seem to have done the trick then I leave the tea bag in the water the hot water to because the microwave is to the left of my cooker to the right of the cooker is where the air dryer is and the um kettle as well to two minutes and ten seconds and click the start button ding dings when it's done so I know then I go out into yeah I go out of the kitchen turn left into the bathroom with the bathroom

and toilet all in one place because I don't live in a mansion and then I yeah I've got a bathroom cabinet I open the bathroom cabinet sometimes I'll just look at the into the mirrors of the bathroom cabinet and just be amazed at what I'm looking at it's like what is it I got toothpaste on my toothbrush I empty some of the toothpaste tube onto my toothbrush and then I wash my teeth or brush my teeth clean my teeth we say kind of clean your teeth here but brush your teeth

it's the same thing isn't it I don't know where I got washing my teeth from I suppose that's something I'll be doing later on in life so I'm brushing my teeth cleaning my teeth usually before I finish cleaning my teeth the the bing bing and the microwave's already gone off and then I I use some mouthwash as an additional plaque remover and then I've got a face face wipe a Nivea face wipe thing so I clean my face with that which is why I've got such youthful skin and I'm kind

of pretty much done and I go back out I might do a wee wee but I didn't really want to include that and then sometimes I'm thinking oh I should have done in the bathroom when I was there so then I get the milk out of the microwave there's a button at the bottom of the microwave on the right hand side you press it and the door just opens it's amazing I pick up the bowl with my right hand and I slowly move it over to the counter which is next

to the kettle by this point what I might do is move the air fryer onto the cooker on top of the cooker of course always making sure it's turned off and it's always turned off but just double check that as I move the milk onto the counter of the kitchen above the counter there's where my breakfast cereal live and I've got okay I got distracted then I barely started barking and someone in the garden um said I must have that window open because that was really loud either that or they

slammed that down in the garden it's like the bin room really loud almost sounded like I had no it sounded like I was outside with them that's how loud it was maybe it's maybe it's because I am alone maybe it's because I'm whispering everything else seems a little bit louder in comparison so yeah I mean I don't have any breakfast cereal in boxes in the cupboard but I do have breakfast cereal or still in the boxes on top so I have ready break I have a bag of ready break usually

um in there so what I'll do is I'll I'll pour the ready break in now as this is different to how I used to do it I used to pour the milk onto the ready break ready break into the milk really short I mean I guess if I'm short of ready but ready break and that's not really much use to anyone but if I don't have much milk to be really careful how much ready break I pour into the milk because again it could end up like wallpaper paste seriously I've

done that in the past and I've ended up having to pour tea in something like into the bowl just to make it more moist it's not something regular but occasionally I've just accidentally over poured the ready break because it's in a bag the bag's in the box I take out the bag from the box I'll chuck the box away might not keep it as a souvenir do I um but well it's recycled but then I tip the bag I try and be careful because it's powdery I don't know if you

know ready break it's like white powder but with oats in it it's not as good for me probably well as porridge but it's just easier to put together and that and I like it a lot however what I might do in the future is move over to porridge because I realized that now that I've got the well I don't know if it's gonna last but I seem to be building a habit of the chicken and the veg because it's 20 minutes that's all it takes and because I'm just mixing everything

together it's kind of easy to do like that and because I don't have to really be concerned about appearance or presentation you know there's nobody else gonna be worried Vinnie sometimes he makes a comment like he made a bit more effort but generally he doesn't seem too bothered it's just about he likes to eat it he's laying on my feet oh he's so cute and then so I've got a few different cereals in the cupboard or boxes of breakfast cereal on top of the cupboard I think I ordered boxes a

few days ago because they were in a sale on amazon so I'm completely run out so it's either 12 or 10 there's like a pack of five or pack of six each and it's just nice to have it stocked up you know yeah and I've got this thing where I put the I can't remember how I do it but I think I pick the the cup up with my left hand balance the plate on my left arm and then use my right hand to switch off the light and close the

kitchen door when I've got a bowl of cereal but when I've got an actual plate of food I don't do that I I take my food into the living room and then I come back and close the kitchen door in the past a lot of times when I would eat my dinner like a cooked dinner I'd be sitting on the sofa eating it and that goes against it just goes against how I normally use would live if if I had access to a table in the past I would use the

table I nearly said I would eat the table I would use the table I've not always had access to a table but I do here I've got a desk here so I kind of thought you know what I'm gonna start eating right here I still have my breakfast over there on the settee whilst watching tv drinking a cup of tea just try to rhyme and yes I bring the plate of food and the cup of tea to this table downside make sure it's well away from any electrical equipment put the

plate down to the right of the pretty much where I where this microphone is just on there just in front of me um I did have the iPad there as well because I was uploading some videos see yesterday you know was the the veg wasn't as hot but today it was quite warm like it's proper full-on so um I think it's it's just working out the timing I think I've got the timing correct now so I think when I was doing it before the potatoes or the veg was hotter than

the chicken or the chicken was hotter than the veg and yeah now I've got it all done it's all fine actually I think so this is a third day I think two days before that I cooked sausages beans and mash so yeah that's a few days in a row that I've actually eaten food like cooked food I might try and keep it going if anyone's looking at me thinking yeah that I've never eaten before because clearly I have it's just um this is an improvement on my diet as it were

I'm quite pleased about it actually although I am feeling quite tired a little bit tired just a little bit I could quite easily go to sleep I also watched these tenders while I was eating so that's it's quite a nice little mix I like it's the only soap that I watch so I like to watch it when I'm eating yeah I'd finish eating halfway through these tenders so I sat down and watched the end of it oh okay Vinnie ate his dinner so it's on the plates on the floor he

had his half or his third two third yeah he has hit one one third he ate that up and he was still hassling me for more food I've realized that when he wants me to take him out or when he thinks I'm going to take him out because he runs over to his water bowl and starts drinking drinking drinking lap lap lap lap getting ready for all those multiple squirts over every lamp post and wherever he can his favorite thing if I let him get away with it is to do

a wee wee on the recycling bins those little green we have them around here these little green recycling bin I stop him from doing it but if I don't keep an eye on him he will do that he loves it I don't know why but I don't let him do it because a lot of people have those recycling bins in their house they don't want dogs doing wee wees on them I'm pretty certain how long is it since I shaved my head it's weird I don't know whether I should uh

I've been playing with the idea of getting an actual proper razor I've already got the just uh shaving foam and actually not picking I'm going to get a bit of razor net but shaving to the bone because it feels so much different this is such a different feeling to be um to have that like complete baldness it doesn't last long because the hair grows quick but it's just there's a oh it's a nice feeling mind you if I touch my bald spotch spotch my bald spot I don't get quite the

same lovely feeling as I did when I used to shave my head all the way proper shave it it's probably because I don't want that there it's not optional I like optional things I've literally got no choice about that it's there forever now and I'm guessing it's just going to expand like a president I'm just gonna like let's expand into more territory it's not fair I'd like to go to Greenland and Iceland I don't know if you'll annoy them me calling it Greenland and Iceland but it's Greenland it's Iceland no

Greenland Iceland New Zealand Ireland land the island of Ireland what's that all about let's stop saying that this just do you remember remember that chicken and it has like juice inside chicken Kiev do you remember I don't know if they're really still made anymore but chicken Kiev is a place we called Kiev like the rest of the world I don't know the rest of the world but England did Kiev years ago someone came on the news all serious correcting people so even the political commentators the news readers were pronouncing Kiev

and it was like some people come out and say nope it's Kiev why change it I mean it's the way they pronounce it but we don't no one tells us that we have to say Deutschland instead of Germany we say Germany but it's Deutschland that's the way we should be saying it or Italia or was it um Spain I don't know what is it um France Francois Francais Francois right it's not France is it no France Francois Frankie Frank but Germany is Deutschland Spanish is Hispania I say Hispania we don't

call it Hispania we call it Spain Italy is Italia I'm starting to get it correct now and Francois Francois something like that so we're always mispronouncing places it's just what we do not just me but everyone I think just probably accept those people that live in the countries it's the same one if I've met people who called me Jason he was French he wasn't really French he was from Africa but he thought he was French because he was raised speaking French so he used to call me Jason and I'm like

okay I don't care call me Jason it's like no it's Jason Jason no I didn't do that because that would be disrespectful and to be honest I just didn't have the time Jason Jason and then there was a bloke who really liked him again he's from the same area as um the one was called Thomas he was from one of the African nations and he was again French but not from France he's so cool such a cool bloke I got on really well with him and Thomas me and him we

worked together for a while and we kept winding each other up and it just used to get silly sometimes um he's really well he really well each other up I used to call him Thomas Thomas because that's how he used to say his name Thomas he once told me a story he said I went to King's Cross I went to the accent I went to King's Cross and uh oh look like I am doing the accent I went to King's Cross and I met a lady who was um she was

available for hire I don't know how to how to word it correctly but um and he said she took me up to her flat and we made passionate time together and when I said how much do you want and she said nothing and she gave me money because I was so good he actually said that to me she's she said to me please come back again it was the best ever I'll tell all my friends but he was cool the one thing I noticed about all of the um because a

lot of them knew each other so I think they perhaps they came from the same area or seem to know martial arts I don't know how I don't know why but they all like could do something was some kind of kung fu or something so that interested me because uh there was this huge bloke a big Don Thomas and wanted to have a fight with him and all Thomas did was just kick him in the shins and in the end the big bloke just ran away pretty much nearly crying and

it was so funny to watch because Thomas was laughing at him it was just I wound him up as well but then I didn't mean to sometimes I didn't mean to sometimes things would happen and it blamed me thinking you know it was me because he used to do things like hide my shoes because we'd come in and we'd have to wear wellies at this job so I'd have my shoes in the locker lockers are always easy to open even if you've got a key it's really easy to open and

those ones were so came in and it hid in one of my shoes or at least someone had and I don't know what to do how am I going to get home with one shoe things like that he found funny and enjoy it I'll be honest don't mess with my shoes I need them just reminds me when I was in Canary Wharf one of when I was doing security there was a cleaner there and we got really well like laughed and stuff but he did some of those things to wind

me up literally there'd be I mean if you've been to Canary Wharf and this was in the older days when everything was practically new like everything is like perfect in there it's just all the receptions and we was in the reception where the security was based waiting to start the shift to find out where we were going to be placed what floor we were on and I'm just chatting to one of the other security guards I look over and my walkman's missing what's going on and all I hear is giggling

I'm not saying the cleaner he put it into his bin he thought it'd be funny wait my cleaner my um didn't chuck my weight cleaner he chucked away my walkman I do remember though once I went on to have a canteen so I think we had to take sandwiches with us because we weren't allowed to leave the building because security basically because we weren't security I discovered by accident because I was going up the lift and I got off on the wrong floor and that door was opened and there was

this canteen there it wasn't for my wasn't for the company that I was um doing security for and it was like cooked food there was it's like okay so I started going up there it was brilliant yep I'm sure I went up there with someone um knowing me I probably just told everyone about it I think because there was so much security in Canary Wharf in the building at the time the staff wouldn't know who was who I mean literally um because there was an incident at Canary Wharf in 1990s

and within days the security was raised by huge like I don't know how many security hundreds probably of security guards in one building for at least three months and then they cut it down to you know a little amount probably every every lift on every floor so every time you came out of a lift on every floor there was at least two security guards so wherever the doors were a door which led you into the you know the offices a security guard would have to check the bags before letting them

in and I don't know how many floors Canary Wharf had plus there was security on the receptions there was about 20-30 security guards just downstairs on the main floor at the beginning security checking vehicles before letting them in I guess some companies had security just walking through the offices just through the building as well up and down the stairs like yeah it was really really big security presence I was just on three floors which was the Daily Mirror so it's a Daily Mirror newspaper they also had live tv which was

really good I mean that was my favorite place ever I think because I got to know the staff I got to know the people the actors that were there the presenters some of which went on to be tv stars and what's his name Kevin Bacon not Kevin Bacon his surname's Bacon but he used to didn't he used to do the big big um what was it tv show he did Blue Peter didn't he yeah Richard Bacon is it Richard Bacon well he was at live tv and he starred in a

soap I think it was actually called Canary Wharf and he starred with a lady that went on to star in Emmerdale she was like a duchess or something in Emmerdale for a while and Richard Bacon I think that's his first name so lovely it's like really nice bloke always said hello to everybody and so did she she was brilliant she used to be really flirty with me and really cheeky and she was lovely invited me out to a party once and that's when I realized that not every invite to a

party is genuine I didn't think she expected me to go um it was like a work do and because we were so we were there all the time she said I'll come along to me and my other security guard friend so we went along and she did come over and say hi but it wasn't for us it was really um yeah it we were we were like not in the right place really we were in the right place but yeah it was very awkward that's what I'm that's what I'm trying

to say but she was lovely and so is he so Richard Bacon there was once he actually had me on camera and they needed someone to try and stop him from getting through so they asked me to do it and I'm basically just like trying to get in the way of him and he pushes me over or something and um so somewhere somewhere I mean it might be deleted but potentially I'm on camera at age 25 um in my security uniform trying to stop Richard Bacon from getting through um I

also I knew about live tv because in I think it was October October 1995 I went to live tv in the evening because I had a talent contest so I was on tv there and that was the first time I'd ever been on tv I think no I was on tv when I was about 10 but that was the Rolf Harris show so it wasn't just on me this was focused just on me doing a stand-up set and there was no audience it was just the staff and the other acts

that was it but I did get a copy of the tape but my ex-girlfriend kept it I wonder if she's still got it probably not I don't think someone would keep something like that for 30 years that'd be weird I think I left it at hers because I went to work in Butlins okay because I was uh I was evicted from where I was living so I had to find somewhere to live so I went and worked at Butlins and I think I left I left a few bits at her

place oh well so that's what I have in the morning ready break I still remember when I worked in the the meter factory not yeah the meter factory the electric meter factory um I was staying with my daddy and this was probably around April 1990 so I would have been 19 I remember I used to come home so thinking about it this was probably around August 1990 actually this memory so I'd come home yeah I would eat my breakfast then go to bed and my breakfast was an auburn not auburn

that's what my dad had um albion albion and some milk and a glass of orange juice and that would be because I'd be doing night shifts you see so I'd come home finish at six get home about half six have my breakfast then go to bed then get up about two o'clock or past nine it's kind of weird because if you get up when you do a night shift you realize how much time you have between when you get up and you go to work it's like you know it's like

eight hours it just feels more like it's quite a long time to do stuff when that eight hours is in the evening it just doesn't seem quite as long a time period you know I don't know if that makes sense so if I got home at six in the evening or half six in the evening I guess it depends on what the travel is doesn't it if you have to travel a decent amount well I don't say decent as in yeah you know quite a distance I guess that's going to

make it difference and well you know how long you have to yourself but working nights it just it almost felt like I had this big long period where I could do stuff anyway I don't know if I hopefully this microphone has picked up the recording if not oh well so thank you for listening remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy and be gentle with yourself you deserve to feel safe also remember that you are already enough you're gonna be okay okay lots of love bye bye