(music) (10 hours) What have I learnt Monday’s boring objects LMBYTS #1518 Jason Newland 22nd December 2025

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. This is Let Me Bore You To Sleep and today, today is Monday's Boring Objects.

Then he was asleep, fast asleep and as soon as I started setting the Whatsit system up to record, I heard and the little plodding of him jumping off the bed and walking in. Looking at me. It's quite weird actually because he's not awake.

He's up and he's moving about but he's not awake. He's just half awake and all he wants to do is go back to sleep because it's nowhere near time for him to get up yet. He's probably got another four hours sleep to do so he's gone to go back to sleep.

But he's doing it in here though. He doesn't want to be apart away from me. Oh, isn't that cute? Oh, he's making occasional cute noises.

He's like a little, like a little cat. Like a little cat, Vinnie. Cutie.

So Monday's Boring Objects. I've got no idea what to talk about. I was, I did think maybe I'll talk about what have I learned? What have I learned? And you know, in my lifetime, what have I learned? So, one thing I've realized is I wasn't sure how to spell learnt.

Is it L E A R N E D or L E A R N T? Because I say T at the end of it. Learned. But I think it's learned, isn't it? Not learnt.

But we say learnt here. Or at least I do. Learned versus learned.

Okay, let's have a look. Let's have a look. What's the difference? It's a regional usage.

Learned is a preferred spell in American English and is commonly used in sentences like, I learned a lot yesterday. Oh, learnt is the preferred spell in British English and is used similarly as in, I learnt a lot yesterday. Both are correct.

But learned, like E D, is more widely accepted in the US while learnt is more common in the UK and other English speaking countries. Okay. I don't know why we have to have different words for the same thing.

Different spellings, the same language. Makes no sense to me. Makes no sense.

I was going to say just let it go, but I can't. I can't let it go. I don't.

What have I learnt from my life? I'm not sure if I have learnt anything. But I want to keep this positive. What have I learnt? There's got to be something.

I mean, 55 years, there's got to be at least one thing that I've actually taken out of being alive for all this time, for half a century. When I say learnt, I don't mean like, I've learnt to speak, I've learnt to walk, I've learnt to talk, I've learnt to, not like that. I mean, you know, what have I actually, what have I learnt? What have I actually, what have I, maybe I haven't.

Maybe I haven't learnt anything. That's weird, isn't it? Perhaps it's just too early in the morning for me to be asking myself such questions of magnitude. I really, I mean, okay, I suppose if I narrow it down to a specific subject, to a specific area of my life, maybe that will become easier to focus.

So we could say, what have I learnt about, what advice could I give to someone going to school? Yeah, that's about it. What did I learn from going to school? Well, I didn't like teachers. I think, okay, here's something I've learnt out of life, just thinking about teachers and other people.

If you want to do something, if it's important, don't drop at the first hurdle. So there's a lot of first hurdles out there by people that just, they're a hurdle because they don't care. And they might not even be telling the truth, or they might just be incompetent.

I've had this a few times. One time is when I phoned up the college about applying to go on the counselling course. And she was on the reception, she answered the phone.

And this was like the course hotline, you know, applications or whatever. And I told her what course I wanted to get onto. And she asked me some questions.

And she said, no, you wouldn't be accepted. Thanks for calling though. And that was it.

She might have said goodbye. But you know, it was the brush off straight away. And that was quite a big hurdle.

To, you know, right at the start, it's quite a big hurdle to someone says no, straight away, like you won't even get on the course. It wasn't, you need this to get on the course. Or you may get on a course if you provide proof of this, you know, experience or whatever.

And I did get on the course. But she, I, I just left that conversation feeling a little deflated, to say the least. And then I started thinking, who's she? Just a voice on on the phone.

She doesn't know me, telling me that I can't do something. Or, you know, because I don't have the experience. Well, I mean, at this point, I'd been doing okay, not a lot, but I've been doing like volunteering into alcohol and drug rehab place for a couple of years.

I've been doing hypnosis with people for chronic pain. I've been studying counselling for years, like from books that I've been reading. And that was before I had any interest in becoming a counsellor.

I was just interested in reading about Karl, Karl Marx. Oh my goodness, his name's gone out of my head. I was gonna say Carl Rogers.

That's it. But not just Carl Rogers, or lots of them. And what I did is, I phoned up again, spoke to a different person, or I might have just gone in there.

And it's a little, I think it's a little bit harder for somebody to poo poo, or give the brush off, or to dismiss somebody in person, especially when, I mean, at the time, I probably sounded very young, even though I was like 36. I probably sounded about 10. So she probably thought I was very young.

Hi, I was wondering if I could do, if I could do the counselling cast. And you probably thought it was Orville, the ventriloquist, ventriloquist, ventriloquist, duck from the early 1980s. That's a reference you don't get every day, I suppose.

You do with me, but you keep talking about that duck called Orville. We're trying to forget him. We're trying to move on.

I wonder if kids now have the same thing. Like that same, I don't know, like the same kind of iconic image or iconic, weird character. In the 90s, Mr. Blobby was one.

In the 80s, the old Orville, and also Busby, who used to advertise BT. And so that was another little bird and stuff. So that was, that was definitely an iconic image.

Or is it Freddy? What was his name? They're great. You know, the tiger from the breakfast cereal, or the honey monster. Showed him the honey money.

No, showed him the honey money, honey. Honey, honey, honey, mummy, something like that. I'm not very up to date with the adverts these days.

So I don't know if there's any kind of iconic advertising characters. I don't know. Or TV shows where there's, I just don't know, because I don't watch those shows.

But I don't, I just wonder, I hope there is because it's nice to have that. You know, as we get older, it's nice to kind of be able to think back and remember some of those very strange moments. So it's like a shared memory with a generation of people.

I mean, the honey monster was a shared thing with my grandparents, my parents, me, my generation, as well as probably generations after me. I don't know if he's on anymore. Might have to open the window in a minute.

Vinnie's fast asleep. So, yeah, that's why I would say don't. Some people are very dismissive straight away.

Because I think they just, maybe they're having a bad day, or they just don't care. Or maybe they don't have all the information. That's another thing I realized that if you don't get the correct response the first time, then sometimes it's worth asking a different person.

I've done this in the past. You know, sometimes it is a case of just asking to speak to a manager and providing a manager. Okay, here's something I've learned.

Be nice to people. Now, I'm going to say specifically in a complaint situation. You get nowhere if you shout.

And some people think they do. Some people will shout. And they just feel good because they've shouted.

And I felt like shouting. I think we all have. It gets frustrating sometimes, especially like on a phone or bad customer service, whatever.

But ultimately, we don't get anywhere by shouting. The only benefit of shouting is somebody hearing you that's far away. And maybe, you know, a football or cricket ball is about to hit them, and you shout, or they watch out, there's a cricket ball that's about to hit you.

And they turn around and they duck just in time. Then that's a benefit of shouting. Reaching someone further away than a normal level of speaking would naturally be able to do.

Great. It's a benefit. But shouting at someone because they did something wrong.

Isn't it weird, some of the most simplistic sayings and thoughts are also the most powerful, yet, how much notice is taken of them? I mean, one of my simplistic things is, would you like someone doing that to you? And the answer is always going to be no, isn't it? Unless what you're doing is nice. Like, actually, yeah, I think that'd be lovely. It really throws them off if you say that.

Say, oh, yeah, I'd like that. Ooh, and then start tap dancing or something. But treating someone, it's a very simplistic thing, isn't it? Treating somebody how you'd like to be treated.

And I think that some, maybe some people don't like that because it's, it reminds them too much of like religion. And some people who are raised with a strict kind of religious, in a very religious kind of household, they might not really be into it when they get old or older. And some people will, it depends, you know, but if you can move away from the origin, it's just a really, really powerful idea, isn't it?

To treat someone how you'd like to be treated.

It's powerful until we realize everyone's different. And some people are used to being shouted at, and they don't care. They just shout at each other the whole time.

There's households where everyone's shouting, swearing. And so to say to some, to say to that person, how would you like someone to treat you like this? They'll be like, yes, that's just another day. That's just normal.

So it's kind of weird, really. But I still think, you know, my saying is, for internal, so if we say something internal to ourselves that's not nice, would you say that to a small child? Would you go up to a small child in the street and say that thing that you're saying to yourself? And I'm not talking like, you know, oh, I'm hungry, I want to have a burger.

No, I'm talking about the horrible things that maybe someone's saying to themselves and putting themselves down or whatever.

Would you say that to a nephew or a niece or a grandchild or your own kid? What have I learned? I think I've learned that I'm not very good at many things. At least started off being what have I, you know, for me in my mind, what have I learned that I can pass on to other people is in a kind of guru way. Let me be your guru.

But now I've realized it's just what have I learned for me. When someone says to you something about themselves, it might be worth believing it. That's something that I noticed over the years.

And I don't mean like a lie, but if someone says, oh, I'm, I'm this, and they're not bragging, but it's, sometimes it's just true what they're telling you. It's not always true, maybe, but sometimes it is. I met a lady and she said, oh, I'm just, she told me exactly what she was like.

And she was being honest. And I didn't, I was like, no, but it's true. She was a cannibal and she wasn't, she wasn't.

I don't know what have I learned. Be peaceful. I think that's, I tell you what I have learned, what, maybe, I mean, it's hard to know really between what have I learned and what are just my opinions.

I want to personally, I say, I'm going to say eliminate, but I want to get rid of as many belief systems as I can. Ones that have been put onto me by other people, or by society, or by, yeah, outside. A bit like, that's why I chose my own religion.

I chose Buddhism. Although I'm not really that into it anymore, but, and I chose Christianity when I was into it for a while, when I was 11. I was forced into Catholicism when I lived with the nurses and the children's home for a couple of years.

I had no choice about that. I was, when we did Christmas, we like, we did Christian songs in assembly at school, but it wasn't, it was, and praying and stuff. I suppose that is indoctrination, isn't it? But I didn't have that at home.

You know, we always said C of E, Church of England, and there was no churchy stuff, no religious stuff from the age of seven onwards. Although I did go to church with my nan sometimes, because just to keep her company and spend time with my nan, really, I suppose. But I'd like to find out what's really me, and what's just indoctrination or learned behavior, I suppose.

I listen to these debates sometimes about religion, and people that have been born into a religion, and they don't know anything else. It's so much a part of them that it's their identity. And they couldn't stop if they tried.

It would be, it's everything, it's how they've been raised. It's almost like, I don't know, like their oxygen. Like they need it in order to just be who they are, otherwise they wouldn't know who they were.

So, I suppose, like with a cult, a cult is, you can't really leave a cult. But some religions, you can leave, but you can't. It's like, you could choose to leave, but you can't.

You know, I don't know, it's like, it's impossible. I don't think, if I had a kid, I wouldn't have taught my kid, I wouldn't have indoctrinated them into any religious thing at all. I just tried teaching them to be a decent person.

I would teach my kid meditation. I would teach my kid basic, you know, martial arts. Just stuff that I remember from when I was younger.

I wouldn't teach, I'd get my kid to go to, you know, some kind of self-defense situation at a very early age. Whether it's judo, whether it's karate, whether it's boxing, whatever. That's the one thing.

If I did have a kid, and this is whether it's a boy or a girl, by the way, that kid will just need, will need to have that confidence. It builds confidence, especially if you're little and you're doing it. Because you guarantee pretty much you're not gonna, no one's gonna mess with you in school.

And that's, that's a good thing. If you do it right from the start, I mean, if you do it really, really early. I don't think it made any difference when I started because I was 13, I think.

And I think people just thought I was silly. I was a silly Billy. I was practicing all my karate moves.

I mean, I used to do like, yeah, always injuring myself. I always hurt my leg, like ow, ow, ow. They'd laugh.

And they'd say, well, it's your fault. You shouldn't try and kick people at six foot when you're only three foot yourself. I used to say, yeah, I know.

Have you popped another testicle? Yeah. Oh. So yeah, what have I learned? What have I learned? Um, it's weird.

I thought this would be like some kind of deeply, not spiritual, because I'm not really into, I'm not a spiritual person, but deeply kind of meaningful, maybe. But it's not, is it? It's really, yeah, it's kind of, I'm not going to say it's completely pointless, but it's getting there. It's on the verge.

I suppose I would say, just don't be like me. But even then, I mean, be nice. Be nice.

I don't think that's, it's a hugely big, ask. Just be nice. Be kind.

Be generous. And generous doesn't necessarily involve money or giving anything away. It could just be your time.

It could be your kindness. Just be kind and maybe be a little bit extra kind to someone that needs that. Needs that little boost.

Being kind to yourself when you need to step back and take time out. So I guess looking after yourself, being kind to yourself, it's really important. I know people, I've known people in the past that they don't take a second's break.

They don't relax. It's like nonstop, always, always, always, always busy. Busy, busy, busy, busy, busy.

Need to relax at some point. Or learn to relax. And I like to think that people listening to these recordings, if you listen regularly, you do relax.

Because just, you know, they're quite soft and they're fairly relaxing. I always fall asleep when I listen to my recordings. And I can't stand my voice.

My squeaky voice. Oh, that's nice. What have I learned? No, I can't think of anything.

I mean, what have I learned? No, I can't think of anything. I think I might have chosen the wrong day to choose this as a subject. In five hours, I might get flooded in my head with things I've learned.

But trying to pick those things out of my head on purpose doesn't seem to be a working. What have I learned in relationships? I've never been very good at them. That's true.

I've learned that. I know what I like. I've learned that I've got a croaky voice.

Well, that's better. It is early in the morning. Finny's staring at me.

Is he staring? Bless him, he's a weirdo. He's not been eating his food. All he wants is treats.

Treats, treats. I can't believe I just said that word. Yeah, in relationships.

No, I don't think I've learned anything there either. All I know is, I know it's a cliche, but I never got the girl. That was, that's pretty much the cliche with me.

I never got the girl. Never had her happy ever after. I never did the traditional route of marriage, kids, mortgage, cars, holidays, and then Christmases and birthdays and then engagements of the kids and marriages and grandkids and all the ups and downs of that kind of, you know, family life.

Yeah, I never did any of that. So I've got no, what have I learned? I think there's part of me would like to have done that. Part of me thinks that I've missed out a little bit.

So, but it's okay. Because it just, this didn't happen. And it's very, been very difficult for anything like that to happen, even to meet anyone in the last 10 years, because I hardly left this flat.

I think I went out more in the summer, visiting Uncle Sausages than I had done for the previous 10 years. Seriously. Just in those six weeks.

What have I learned? Toilet roll. Yeah, toilet roll is not a great birthday gift. Apparently.

Oh yeah, if someone asks you to marry them, don't just laugh at them. Yeah, that's something I did. I thought they were joking.

It was a leap year and my friend, yeah, anyway, I thought she was joking. Honestly, I wasn't being rude or anything. I just thought it was a joke.

And you might say, well, why did I move? Why did I move out of the country and hide for 10 years? That's a different thing. Different. I lied to, I've learned that I lied to myself about boredness.

I used to shave my head. I've been shaving my head since 2002. Telling people I shave it because I don't care if I go bored.

I don't care, I shave my head and it's almost in preparation. So if I go bored, it won't bother me at all. Yeah.

And then a couple of years ago, I was in a lift or an elevator, you might wrongly call it. And there was mirrors on the sides and the ceiling and the back. The whole thing was just one big internal mirror.

And all I could see was this big patch on the crown of my head, a bald patch. And I thought, why is the mirror distorted? Why is it not showing any hair on that part of my head? And I moved my head around because I could see from different angles because the mirrors are literally everywhere. I've never forgiven that lift.

I mean, technically, elevator. You could say it's the same as lift, isn't it? Something was elevated, lift, lifted, elevated. I don't know which one came first.

But it's not just lifted or elevated, is it? It's also dropped down. Because lifts go down as well as up. You know what I mean? So there.

Don't turn up drunk at a job interview. That's another bit of advice, probably something I learned from. And if you have had a couple of drinks, just to give you some courage or whatever.

Just please remember to wear clothes. What else? I suppose advice I'd give to kids is, if I was I'm going to advice now. Don't take too much notice of the teachers.

Any teachers are negative to you. You know, it used to be a common thing teachers saying to pupils. Oh, you never amount to anything.

Which is just a really wrong thing for anyone to say to another person. But that seemed to be acceptable when I was at school. And maybe it still is.

I don't know. But if a teacher's being rude. Just remember that people that are rude or unkind.

The reason they're doing it is because they're unhappy. And I've learned that. And that took me a while to learn that.

The people that are being horrible are unhappy. And I've heard, I've had conversations with people where they've been hurt by someone. And they're going, oh, I want to get my revenge.

I'm going to do this. I'm going to do that. And I just say, you haven't got to do anything.

Just step back, sit back, and wait. And just watch their life unfold. Because they're not creating a life, a good life ahead of themselves.

They don't have to do anything. Life itself, with its ups and downs, will present anything you can't imagine. And it's a weird, weird old thing, life.

It's letting go of stuff. There's that whole thing, isn't it? Some people just don't get it. What do you mean letting go? I'm not forgiving them.

How can I forgive them? And I think what they don't understand is it's not forgiveness in the same way as, it's almost like forgiving someone's the same as saying it's okay. You know, it's just, let's just agree to disagree. Like, no, it's not that.

It's not like, oh, let's hug it out. Never mind. I don't care anymore.

No. Or saying, yeah, it's fine. I'm okay that you did that.

No, it's not that either. Never going to be that. If it's like a terrible thing.

But forgiving, it's just another way. I think it's probably the wrong word. This is why people struggle so much with it.

To say you want me to forgive that person for what they did to, you know, whatever. So it's like, I don't think the word forgiveness is the right word. But you can dissect it down to realizing that that person, the reason they did what they did is because they are also deeply hurt.

And also nothing you feel about them, nothing you say, nothing you, anything is going to make any difference to them. It's not going to change the past. It's not going to, it will change your future.

I mean, I know quite a few people in the past where they're walking around and they're not happy because they're angry. They're very, you know, and they're quite often the ones that will just give you their life story and they won't stop talking and everything they tell you is going to be horrible. And it's like, wow, it's almost like they're choosing to get into that, to sort of, you know, to wallow in that mud.

Because it's comfortable, because it's, it's what they know. It's what they've been doing for a long time. They're used to it.

I remember I met this bloke, he was at the alcohol charity and he came along and he was in his 70s. And you couldn't have met a nicer person. I mean, obviously, if he was giving me money, that'd be nice, but he came in, he was so friendly.

Telling me how I changed his life with the hypnosis record. I was doing live sessions and then recording them while I was there. And he had a CD to take home and then I had my website so people could listen to them.

And he was probably one of my first, I don't want to use the word fan, but he loved what I did. And he brought his wife in and his daughter, I think, to see me. And it was kind of strange because he, early on, he said, I have not always been like this.

And I thought, well, you mean horny, I'm sure you've always been a sexy old silver fox. And he said, firstly, that's inappropriate. And no, that's not what I meant.

But I do appreciate you saying that. And he brought his wife in and she backed him up. She said, no, he was horrible.

So her and her family put up with decades of him being horrible when he was drinking. To be in an absolute delight when he was sober. Like personality change.

Now, I wouldn't have put up with those decades. That's just me. I don't put up with stuff like that.

Or I wouldn't now. I mean, I kind of, I did put up with a lot of things I wouldn't normally put up with in the last few years, but not anymore. But I looked at him and I couldn't imagine him being anything but nice.

It was just really lovely person. I wish I could remember why I mentioned him. Finding a way of letting go.

Also change. I suppose that's what I'm thinking is, it's a little bit muddled, but I think change is possible. Again, I've met people that were really nice, really, really nice people.

Genuine, kind, articulate, open, you know, it's really nice. And I get to learn, know them a little bit and hear about their past. And, and I'd hear about their past and they, some of them did some really, really, really, really, really bad things.

But it's not them anymore. I know there's a big part of society that they won't allow someone to move on. And I do understand that.

I do, I do get it. But at the same time, we all make mistakes. Sometimes it's just a big mistake, which has caused a lot of problems for people.

It's like, well, we all, I've made my mistakes. I've done some silly things in the past, but never out of malice. I've just tried to help sometimes, and it's turned out the wrong way.

And it's a weird one. I've got, I've got no, I've got one, one example. I bought flowers for a lady that I was trying to woo.

That's a word you don't hear very often, isn't it? Woo. And I tried to, I liked her. And the thing is, I couldn't take the flowers in there because I was, I chickened out.

And I was about to chuck them into the bin. But I thought, well, I just spent £10 on these flowers or whatever it was, back in 1988 or not, 89 or whatever it was. And I thought, no, I probably would have given them to my Nan, but I was nowhere near where my Nan was.

I was like the other side of town. I was near my home. So what I did, I went home and I gave them to the neighbour who lived in the house, the lady that lived there.

Now, her boyfriend wasn't particularly pleased with that. And this is something I never understood, right? Especially with blokes. I could not compete with him on any level.

He was older than me. He was better looking. He, he just had everything.

You know, she obviously loved him. And they were just living in one of the rooms. I was in a room.

They were in a double room. And I got on really well with him. And well, I thought I did anyway.

But it was weird that suddenly he got jealous. Like I was, I literally was just like a friendly gesture. There you go, have some flowers.

I was going to chuck them in the bin anyway. I mean, there's nothing romantic about that, is there? But yeah, be careful who you buy flowers for, I suppose is the, is the, um, the little bits take away from that. I must have learned something, 55 years.

Um, no, I think I've, I don't think I've really learned anything. Are you telling me it's been a complete waste of time? It might have been, wow. I've learned quite a little bit about myself.

And I know that I'm moody. It's an understatement. Um, and I know that I've been like this since I was a kid.

So this whole bipolar, whatever, always been since I was a little kid. And I never know what I'm going to be like from one day to the next. I'm a friendly person.

I'm genuine, generally a friendly person. And if I'm feeling in a good mood, it almost doesn't matter what anyone says to me or what happens. It doesn't affect my mood.

I mean, there's situations, you know, I don't want it tested. Of course, there's going to be situations that would change it. But on a standard kind of day, I'm more likely to find something funny than offensive.

If I'm in a really, really good mood for no reason. Like I was out yesterday, walking, and I felt like I was in a good mood yesterday. Took Vinnie out and spoke to some people and one was being rude about Luke.

And she said, oh, because you're basically being rude about a couple of neighbours that I know. And then she started saying, whatever happened to that drug dealer? Like, what? A drug dealer with a dog, the white dog with a patch. I said, you're talking about my friend.

So he wasn't a drug dealer, which he wasn't. I looked like a drug dealer. It didn't put me in a bad mood.

It didn't take me out of, it lowered my mood a bit. If I'm honest, it wasn't, I didn't, I didn't feel, it kind of, it made me focus and explain and put a few things clear. The fact that he was my best friend.

So, you know, and he's no longer with us. So let's, let's calm this situation down, baby. But I didn't, I was still in a good mood and I saw someone else sorting any treats.

Vinnie was excited. So I went and said hello to her and I still wasn't in a bad, I still wasn't in a good mood. Then I get home and I start thinking about it.

So it kind of changes a bit, but it's strange. I mean, I've been to, I've been to weddings where I've not been in a good mood. And it doesn't matter what's going on around me.

It doesn't affect how I feel. It's, you know, it's weird. Yeah, I can be affected in an instant by something that happens.

Dependence is, it's very weird. It's kind of bipolar. Also, you know, EUPD.

Oh man. What have I learned? Mental health issues. I've learned that, you know what? I'm a decent person.

I am, I'm not out to hurt anyone. I never have been out to hurt anyone. I've gone through phases in my life where I didn't care if people got upset.

And I even went through phases, I suppose, when I used to enjoy upsetting people, but only verbally, but only in a kind of a teasy way, not in a serious way, you know? The only time I ever went in on someone, serious, verbally serious, is if they were either pick, tried to pick on me or picking on someone else. So, you know, kind of bully the bully sort of situation.

So if I was at work and somebody or at school and someone was having a go at someone, it's usually somebody that can't, or they won't defend themselves, or can't or won't, whatever.

That's when I can't stop myself. And I'm the same now. I'll always be like that, probably.

But I would do it in a funny way. So that people around listening will be laughing at that other person that was being rude to start with. And that's the one thing they don't like, generally.

Yeah. So I think, yeah, I'm not out to hurt anyone. Still trying to find a reason for it all, but maybe that's just an impossibility.

Just, you know, it's an existential thing, isn't it? That maybe, I think what it is, life can keep people very, very busy. You know, right from birth, all the way to depending upon, you know, if someone goes through the standard, prescribed lifestyle in the UK, for example, at school, then either leave and go to work or go to university, always around people, then go to work, always around people, get a girlfriend, go out nights on a Friday, Saturday night, you know, it's always busy, always doing stuff, especially with the internet now, you know, it's constant communication.

And maybe getting married, having kids, always busy, super busy.

If you've got kids, no time for rest, really. And then as you get older, you're still busy dealing with them. And then you've got grandkids, you're dealing with them, you're busy there.

Maybe great grandkids. And then you've got, maybe you're looking after each other, you know, if you're married or you look, you know, so it's just busyness all the way through. But some people have it very different and they're not busy.

And if they haven't got married and maybe when they retire, they don't see anybody. And I don't know, because I've never had that busy, busy, busy, busy, busy. Like as an adult, I mean, I don't miss it.

It's very quiet. Now just notice how quiet it is in here. So I guess it's a very different situation.

Someone is busy all the time. There's a benefit to that. But somebody that has some time alone to dwell, to just think things through, to just, yeah, I suppose a bit like I've been doing today is just, what have I learned? I keep coming back to that question.

I don't know. I suppose what I've learned is, we can pretty much do anything. You know, there's limits, of course, physical limits.

Like, okay, I will not be climbing Mount Everest. I could attempt Mount Everest. But that, you know, it's not going to happen.

So it wouldn't matter what mindset I had. It's just not going to happen. I can't, I'm never gonna fly a jet airline pilot.

I'm never going to try and like a jet, you know, be a pilot of a jet airline. That's what I'm trying to say. It's never going to happen.

I'm never going to be a policeman. I'm never going to be a fireman. I'm never going to be any, you know, there's just certain things.

I'm never going to work on an oil rig or down a mine. I'm never going to be six foot five. I've done too many things that I won't be to, trying to remember why I'm mentioning these things that I won't be.

Oh, yeah. What you can do though, and all of us can do this, and I'm living proof of this, is you can start something from scratch and just keep going. Start from nothing.

I did that with these podcasts. When I very first started posting videos and audios online and had my website, nobody knew who I was. I'm not making out I'm famous now, because I'm not obviously, but people, you know, I'm known around the world.

My name is known by at least six people. And that's a lot. And I had a friend once saying to me, because he was saying I was bored and, you know, and he said, it's all right for you.

You've got your podcasts. I said, yeah, but I built this. No one gave this to me.

You know, I spent at the time, probably 15 years, 16 years doing this. And I said, look, I spent, you know, I started with nothing with this. I didn't, nobody knew who I was.

I didn't know what I was doing. I partially still don't know what I'm doing, I guess. And anybody can do the equivalent of this with something else that maybe they enjoy doing.

Whether it's just filming trains going past, or it could be anything, just something that you're passionate about, that you love doing, somehow turn it into something. I didn't even know what this was. I didn't know what I was trying to build.

I didn't know that something would be built. And then nearly 20 years later, I'm still making recordings. And it is nearly literally next month, it'll be 20 years, my 20 year anniversary.

I know. It's crazy, isn't it? Crazy. I do think I should do something special for January, because January is the 20th anniversary month.

20th, 20 years of talking nonsense. I'd have talked nonsense anyway, wouldn't I really? So, so I suppose ultimately what I've learned is, try and be yourself, but find the, the nice version, and encourage the niceness. And maybe get in touch with that nice part of you.

Spend more time noticing your positive points. Noticing, not just when you're being kind to others, but when you're feeling kindness towards others. So I've got this little rule.

Now, I can't always, I can't always follow through with it, but if I have an idea to help someone, whether it's give them a chocolate bar, or phone them up, or whatever it could be, I'll try and follow through. Unless it's just financially, or, just not acceptable, you know, something I shouldn't do. And, I'm trying to think what that would be, I can't think of anything, probably not something I shouldn't do, but something that I, I don't know, let's say someone working in this shop, and I might wanna, I might give them a book, or give them a little present to cheer them up, but that might not be acceptable.

So maybe that's not a good idea to do that. How can you doctor? It's not always a good idea. Oh well.

So, we can all find something, I do believe this, everyone's got something that they can be passionate about. Which is why I've always admired train spotters, and stamp collectors, and people like that, that love what they do, they collect, they just, they love it. And they're happy doing it.

And if you can do that, if you can do that for a living, then, wow. I mean this, this is just a, a free service that I offer, but, I used to have fantasies, you know, 20 years ago, or 15 years ago, 10 years ago, where the idea of being able to earn a living doing this, talking, and waffling on, and being boring, that, that did feel nice, the idea of it.

But I think more than that, it's, it's become part of me.

It's very quiet, isn't it? Finny's been good, he's just asleep, it's fast asleep. I don't know why he got up, I'm ready to go back to sleep as well. So, I've not really talked much about what I've learned, really, have I? Because I can't think of anything.

Anyway, I'm going to go. Thank you for listening, remember to be kind to yourself, because you do deserve to be happy, and be gentle with yourself. You deserve to feel safe.

And just remember also that you are enough. You really are enough already, and that you're going to be okay. Lots of love.

Bye.