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Hello and welcome to Let Me Bore You To Sleep. My name is Jason Newland. Newland! Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes.
I'm kind of on the fence at the moment about whether or not I need to go to the toilet. I'll just wait, see if my stomach gives me any more hints. I'm getting the feeling, you know you get the feeling but you're not.
It might just be gas but at the same time it might not be worth testing it if it's just gas or not. It might just be a better idea just to go to the toilet. I don't have to buy another chair.
So today is Monday the 13th of April 2026 and this is Monday's Boring Objects. Oh what am I going to talk about today? What boring subject or object do I have to mind? I don't know. I didn't know.
Is this something that I haven't talked about in eight years? Have I missed anything out? Because that's a long time and I've been talking and this is number 1592 of the Let Me Bore You To Sleep series and I do also have a Q&A Friday every Friday but nobody asked a question last week. Not one single person. It doesn't have to be like a sensible question.
It doesn't have to be something you're particularly interested in the answer. Just it'd be nice to have a few questions to answer even if they're just pointless. In fact pointless is good.
You know I'm fine with that. Just something. Unless Q&A Friday has come to the end of its lifespan which I feel a little bit sad about because that's probably the only constant really that I've stuck to for the last I don't know how long.
I've got no idea when the first Q&A Friday was. I've actually got a podcast with the Q&A Fridays on it. Where is it? It's somewhere.
Q&A Friday. 374 episodes but that does include the different versions of different lengths and stuff. So see how far back if I can get the very first one without clicking on a recording.
A recording. Right September 2024 still going. Okay the very first Q&A Friday was the 10th of April 2024.
So literally two years ago. Just two years and three days ago. And the second one was on the 11th of April.
Basically I had too many questions so I had to do it in two days. And then the third one was the 19th. So that's the 19th.
Why would I? That doesn't even make sense does it? Why would I do a Q&A Friday on a Wednesday? It's anyone's question. Is it like? Who knows? Who knows? I mean shall I check out the the dates? Because that doesn't make any sense to me at all. Let's have a look at the dates.
I've got a calendar. If I go to 2024. April.
April what? The 11th. So 19th was definitely. Ah okay.
That's very strange because 19th was definitely a Friday. The 10th was a Wednesday. And the 11th was a Thursday.
That's got me very curious. In fact I can't think about anything else right now. It's all I can focus on.
How weird. That's very strange isn't it? Anyway I've done a few Q&A Fridays over the years. And I don't know how many because it would take me ages to.
Shall I add them up? Let's count them. So one. I'm going to count the first two as one.
Oh no. I was going to say two. Three.
Four. Five. Six.
Seven. Eight. Nine.
Ten. Twelve. Thirteen.
Fourteen. Fifteen. Sixteen.
Seventeen. Eighteen. Nineteen.
Twenty. Twenty-two. Twenty-three.
Twenty-four. Twenty-five. Twenty-six.
I used to number them. Twenty-seven. Oh I've got two in 26.
Which is weird. Oh but it's the same one. Why is that uploaded twice? It's uploaded three times.
Oh no. It's a different version. This is without music.
Five hours. Okay. So 27.
28. 29. 30.
31. 32. 33.
34. 35. 36.
37. 38. 39.
40. 41. 42.
43. 44. 45.
46. 47. 48.
49. 50. 51.
52. 53. 54.
55. 56. 57.
58. 59. 60.
61. 62. 63.
64. 65. 66.
67. 68. 69.
70. 71. 72.
73. 74. 75.
76. 77. 78.
79. 80. 81.
82. 83. 84.
85. 86. 87.
88. 89. 90.
89. 90. 89.
Oh okay. Well that's not right because it only goes up to the 9th of January. 89.
So I know I've done some this year so I've got to update that. So 89 up to January this year. Which means I've got to update January, February, March.
At least another 10 or 11 or 12 because I haven't missed that many out. It's only when people don't ask any questions. Ah.
Interesting. All right. So I've got I did start up at 9th to 16th.
I've uploaded them I just not made them available to the public yet. Okay so I'm going to have to sort that one out. So 39.
40. Sorry 40. 90.
So I've got 90 recordings. Another 10. That makes sense two years isn't it? 50.
So I've roughly you know I've missed a couple of weeks because of maybe illness or whatever. But I've done most weeks for the last two years. So there's going to be at least probably 100.
Which means I've missed four weeks in two years. That's not bad. It's not bad is it? We could always count it.
Come on then let's count it. It's the 16th. 16th of January.
So let's go back down to the 16th of January on the Let Me Boyd Asleep podcast. 16th of January. So I've got 90 done so far.
Let's have a look. 16th of January. Blimey.
I go through little periods when I think oh no what's the what's the point in just dating stuff. I don't need to put a date on everything. It'll be make it easier for people to find stuff if the title is a bit shorter.
And then afterwards I think you know a couple of weeks of doing that I think oh I wish I had the dates and stuff so I could actually fit them into the correct place. Although from the looks of it I've put you know the dates when I added them on there just not the actual dates themselves in the title. 16th.
16th of January. Blimey. I've done a lot of recordings this year.
Might not seem like it. It might seem like that's all I've done. Okay so I've got that 16th of January.
So Q&A Friday the next one would be 23. 23rd of January. Yep another one.
Right so I have to figure this out. So that's where was that? Where was it? Oh yeah. So 23rd.
So 30th. 30th of January. Should be I don't know how many days there are in January.
Anybody? 31 isn't it? Is it 31? 31. See I don't know whether or not I did a Q&A Friday that day because there's no sign that said I have. It's just a less.
Nope it just says Let Me Bore You To Sleep. So if we go for the 6th. 6th of February.
I reckon that probably was a Q&A Friday. I just didn't write it. Put in the title.
6th. See again I haven't put it. I've not put in the title.
That's very strange. Let's work my way down. I wonder why that happens.
I mean I'm the one doing it but I just sometimes wonder. So I've got one. My titles are getting a little bit more obvious on the images.
There's a Q&A Friday which makes it a little bit easier. So one. Two.
Three. In a minute. Three, three, three, three, three.
Three. Three. Four.
I'm going backwards here by the way. Four. Four.
Four. Four. Four.
Four. Four. Five.
Five. So leave me alone please Finny. He just hassles me when I'm doing recordings.
He's literally on my lap now sticking his head right in my face giving me kisses I shouldn't complain I do like daddy kisses but I just don't know why so from the looks of this I've got six or seven actually labeled as Q&A Friday since yeah okay that's a bit weird fair enough so that's 97 that definitely got the image with Q&A Friday on but some that haven't have any you got your food it's like I'm repeating myself isn't it you got your food then what else I've literally I've chucked
away a tin of food that you didn't eat so yeah chucked away a tin of food that you didn't eat and then I've just put in some fresh food on a plate and he's eaten some of it and he's left the rest he wants to cuddle if you want to cuddle then we can cuddle it's fine if you want to cuddle on my lap then we can it's fine really I don't mind it's all right I've got you I'm not going to drop you if you're very comfortable and safe I'm
gonna hold you okay he's trying to get on my lap well he's on my lap now isn't it weird you know when I was making when I was filming myself you know a few months back he refused to get onto my lap now what he wants to do is get onto my lap it's it just doesn't like it's like he needs to be near me which is cute I do like that because you know he's not always been the most affectionate you know little cat but I don't know he's become
a bit better lately as he's got older and since I pulled that settee closer to the table to my desk he now lays on the edge of that settee and like puts his head on my lap or just tries to sort of um he likes to touch me so if he's even if he's under the desk he likes to have part of his body touching me touching my leg or my foot or something don't you he can't be wanting to go out because I've already been out about it was only
two hours ago that we went out wasn't it got back it just after 10 10 past 10 and it's now 1245 it's a nice day out there today it is it's bright I had to close the windows and the curtains because of the there's a bit of noise out of out the back so I just had to do that then he was barking at something I don't know I don't know what he heard I mean like the other night we was in bed and he just started barking now that's very
very rare that he barks at night when we're in bed really rare especially as the radio was playing you know he was well I thought he'd be distracted but he could hear something so I'm reckoning it's possibly the cat also there's a cat that lives downstairs it comes up and sniffs around my front door and I think he barks at that I don't I just I catch it on camera the next day I look at everything huh it's just wandering around so I don't think it's allowed outside but I think
she he lets the cat just have a little wander inside I don't I'm not sure but I've met the cat so lovely but Vinnie he's not cat friendly not not that he would do anything to a cat he's just there's two versions of Vinnie when it comes to cats there's the one that's hugely inquisitive and potentially could become overexcited then the other version where he is absolutely terrified of them because he got beaten up by a cat a couple of years ago and he's been very very wary of them ever
since I'm gonna talk about cats let's let's today's recording be about cats yeah so my first cat well it wasn't my the family first cat was when I was seven and it was called Tigger and never had a pet before that I can remember anyway I mean my memory of my childhood was it didn't really involve anything you know anything that happened when I was between the ages of seven and eight it was like a new it was completely new life I had I had two parents I had a bedroom
of my own I had toys of my own oh you know all those things it was just is completely a different life and it was the happiest my happiest period probably of my existence that was that at that time and so I'd never had a cat or a dog and not sure if I'd even seen a cat before I'm sure I had it had it yeah would have done wouldn't I I mean yeah of course I seen a cat but I've never had a cat but it wasn't there long because
you know it kind of unfortunately left us I went to heaven so and that was it there was it was she was buried I think Tigger was a girl she was buried at the bottom of the garden near the clothesline and there was a little rockery below the clothesline you know those tourneys tourney ones that squeak well you don't always squeak but you know I mean the one that turn around and you can put stuff on we've actually got about six of those here but I don't put my stuff outside
because the two reasons out here is because the first reason is they kept having bonfires out there in the garden a bunch of drunk people so they would like having bonfires and who knows what else and it was just you have to close their windows it was just basically you know what it does to close I mean bonfires are a lot of fun I guess if you're standing around them and they're safe and everything but afterwards the next day you can smell your clothes and it's like wow well it was
doing that to the new clothes you know I didn't know whether to rewash them or eat them they were smoked so oh it smells nice smoky socks so I stopped putting them out for that reason then I realized there's a lot of thieves around here so I didn't people's stuff was going missing but I couldn't really understand why because who would want my underpants I don't even like touching my underpants even when they're clean so and then the other reason was there was someone that moved he was living there when
I moved in and he was over the fence and everyone called him pants I thought that was his actual name I called him pants to his face once and he I shouted pants because he was walking to the bus and he looked around looked at me a bit weird said my name is Colin oh well no my name is Colin very deep deep booming voice and he is quite weird because he was a very very famous what do you call it fantasist like he'd been all the national papers and being
to prison multiple times for doing some very very weird things over the years and he it's really weird that I move in here and it's living up opposite me I got on all right of him and he don't live here no more anyway but he apparently I found out they called him pants because he put his why France underpants on the lawn and okay I'm gonna put this very and be very gentle with this one perhaps they needed they needed rewashing that's what I'm gonna say maybe they they they needed
an extra four or five washes maybe ten I don't know but yeah ever since he did that everyone in the hood called him pants because they could all see it and it was a really big bloke as well so initially I thought it was the bedsheets and but I got on all right of him it was huge bloke no I'm not even like just big really tall wide and he stood on a snail once I told him off who just walk in and he's like crunch you could hear the pavement
shaking under his feet just is I mean it must have been and it wasn't that he was I mean probably was a beast I'm a beast but not in that way he's like he was just really big bloke and he crushed yeah he stood on a snail and I said we do we done it stood a snail and he said oh I'm sorry I didn't see it there I said don't worry pants he just he what did you call me I said sorry Colin that's right I my name is not
pants and he I don't think he knew why people called him pants and for the first six years I didn't know I just assumed that was his name and my friend downstairs said that's not actually his name who would call someone pants who what parents give their kid name pants and I thought I don't know I mean the area we're in I wouldn't put anything past anyone it's such a this is like Narnia without the fun if you know I mean this is like some weird it does feel like I
walked through a weird wardrobe when I'm when I moved here and just come into a very different world stuff I've never seen before never experienced before and very strange but hey I do sometimes wonder if it's real I wonder how far my my mental illness goes I do sometimes think am I living in some kind of fantasy world and everyone's looking on at me almost it's like I'll just let him get on with it you know maybe I'm standing there talking to a complete empty space having a chat with someone
who I think's another dog walker holding lead but there's no dog attached to my lead and I'm walking around talking to Vinnie and Vinnie doesn't exist and I'm thinking and everyone's just used to it so no one said no one says anything to me I do sometimes I think oh I mean I'm pretty sure that's not the case because Vinnie started barking in just a little bit of a barker because he wants to have a bark don't you if you bark you will go into the bedroom which isn't really a
punishment because he loves it in the bedroom with that big bed all to himself and his tail's waggling as well you're getting excited at the idea yeah yeah I should that's the thing I should stop editing out his bark so you can hear it therefore you can let me know whether or not he's real or not imagine it's like I don't realize like someone comes into my flat and they see like boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes of dog food that I've been buying over the last three years Wow
so suppose if you see things aren't there you cannot see things that are there so I'm not keep banging my toes to buy myself shares in pedigree chum pedigree pedigree pedigree chum pedigree chum or inbred Trump chum whatever you want to call it that's what pedigree means inbred inbred that's what pedigree means so no but that was weird that's another thing I kind of like I don't I don't know what maybe there might someone might have a nickname for me I don't know what it is I know that me and
my friend downstairs we used to have nicknames for everybody and you know it wasn't people we didn't like just generally it was not a hidden code but just have it have nicknames of people and I would as well as you quite often it's nice they were nice cute names sometimes but I do wonder did he have one for me gullible mug probably yeah I did actually I had a little tantrum once and I wrote on my hat because I was in the winter and I was writing on my hat mug
I was walking around with it because everybody was asking for stuff everybody was taking advantage of me for a while well for nearly 10 years actually but this was a particularly flavorsome month anyway cats cats cats cats cats so Tigger was the first cat but we didn't have her for long and I genuinely don't remember if she was a kitten when she was born well I guess she was a kitten when she was born but I don't know if or not we had her as a kitten or not don't know
it's too long ago and I got no one to ask to be fair if my name was around she'd tell me but other than that it's no one else is it weird I find it weird to not be able to ask anyone about my life and it might seem strange like oh you're 55 years old can't you remember your own life why you gotta ask other people about your life it's not just that because I remember some stuff but it's getting other people's perspective on it because all I've got my
own my perspective of me when I was a child was a child's perspective I haven't got an adult's perspective looking in watching me sort of when I quite like to get that version that'd be nice just to like to have someone say I remember when you whatever when you was 10 and you fell out of the tree uh maybe not that but you know something nicer than that and like oh I forgot about that but no I just I have to kind of select the memories I can remember try and
put them together in a way that kind of makes sense seems sort of logical but it doesn't mean that I'm remembering them in the correct format or the correct order or even I mean psychologists have discovered a long time ago that humans have a tendency to mix various memories together to make one memory and I've got no one to challenge my memories so I felt there for example I said oh I remember when I went to London for the first time and we went to Buckingham Palace and the Queen invited
me in for tea came out with guards and came to the gate opened the gate herself said come in young Jason come and have a cup of tea I said you got any cakes she said what do you mean she said why not come in with no cakes I said to her Queenie got me some cakes otherwise I'm not bothering it looks like a long walk and she said okay I'll we've got cakes we've got sandwiches as well I said no I said cakes were you listening she said sorry Jason
I said besides that's a long walk I'm only little so she said it's okay I'll carry you on my shoulders so the Queen took me in there I've got some cakes I put some sandwiches into my pocket for the journey home on the train well no it was a coach wasn't it was a school trip and so that's my memory of it now apparently it I mean yeah it might not have gone that way that's how I remember it happening but got no one to challenge it maybe some of the
other kids in the school trip would possibly say that maybe it didn't act didn't quite work out like that maybe the Queen I don't know maybe she mentioned the cakes herself maybe I didn't ask about the cakes except doesn't it does kind of I come across a bit cocky there don't I but you got any cakes a little bit a little bit bossy a little bit arrogant so maybe I wasn't as arrogant as I'm making out well maybe I didn't show off the way that I've kind of presented it and
I was just like your majesty and I was perhaps very courteous before jumping on her shoulders but I don't know I remember farting farting at my friends because they were behind the when they locked the cage you know the big old gate and they were all like standing there and I said to the Queen back up a bit back up back up until my bum was like through the gates and I just farted and I said giddy up giddy up to the Queen and she ran ran into the palace now
maybe that maybe that didn't happen the way I imagined it the way I remember it so that's one of the things about having no one that can challenge my memories because it then just turns into almost well you could say a fantasist you want to know what some of some of the things that this fantasist did he he he wanted to apparently and this is in the papers apparently he turned up in Wales and he he walked into a yeah he went into a business and said I have a hundred
million pounds to invest in building a new estate like a shopping estate thing what would you call them was a bunch of shops and supermarkets and that and and apparently the he had a business meeting but it was in a cafe and he had his trainers on an old an old coat that he used to wear and he didn't quite fit the criterion of someone who had a hundred million he said he got it from the government as a government grant and he was basically the in-betweener you know and someone
warned this bloke that was having a meeting that he might not have access to that hundred million and apparently he didn't and I think he had another an invention there's gonna eat where you could turn poo into milk honestly I just in a way you think about it even though it's like fantasy stuff it's got to be fun imagine being like really like thinking living that you live in the life aren't you so you in meetings with people perhaps technically business wise important people and perhaps they're spending money thinking that
they're going to get a deal which is going to make them rich and yeah it must be fun but at what point do you forget that it's just make-believe because it's got to be a certain unless you think that well once I've made the deal the government will have no choice but just to give me that hundred million because it's an amazing deal or once I once I get the contract from these people then I can go to someone like Elon Musk and you know ask him if you can help
me to invent the machine to convert poo into milk so maybe you know maybe that's his it was his thinking I don't know poo into milk so yeah he was he was well known it but he anyway I don't talk about other people but it was it was funny and then we had another bloke that used to chase people he I shouldn't go into yeah anyway there's a few different people around it when I moved in that were interesting characters I'll leave it at a pence though I won't go any
further than that but he was he was always friendly to me I found him all right but he just it was I don't know it was just a little bit I was a little bit of a gossip as well I realize I'm gossiping but he was on the bus and my friend heard him talking about him and my friend told him to stop so yeah and he always called him pants as well I don't think he even knew what his name was because he moved in and everyone called him pants
I wonder if he's still called pants do you reckon he accidentally introduces himself as pants because he's so used to being called it that's the thing I've never understood this is something I've never understood my algebra German lots of different things but calculus relationships so when I introduce myself to people which is very rarely thankfully I introduced you know I'm in the situation where I'm kind of introducing my name I tell people what my name is I say my name is Jason I don't generally say new land but I say
my name is Jason and that's it never in my whole life have I ever introduced myself as Jay or Jace never now I answer to Jay because everyone around here calls me Jay to the point where someone phoned me up the other day someone I've known for a long long time I called them back so I didn't I missed the call called him back they said hello I said yes Jason who it's Jason who I said I'm returning your call you'd literally called me half an hour ago Oh Jay really
this is like so when people tell each other it's like oh they talk about me and I'm Jay so they just automatically call me Jay even though I've never introduced myself to them but it's the same with I've got a friend who's got I won't say his name but he's he's got like a nickname that he's had he's got three two two actually but one and I've always known him by that name yeah his real name is like just a human name so not like a normal name and us and
when anyone says to me have you seen what's his name by you know these normal human name I don't know who the two they're talking about I said who and then he said in the end they say he's like he's on a stage name but he's like nicknames oh yeah he's in my backpack as I okay I've known him with that name for ages so I never for years I've just I can't change it now once I know someone as their nickname I can't change it I can't I don't know
why there's a little bit of stubbornness there as well so I won't but I also can't talking about a friend at school I actually dated her briefly and I think it was in I was probably in fourth year and she told me oh I've changed my name I said okay and it's because I was hanging around her as a friend really the date lasted for about three hours I think I'll do I know how I asked her out so I was watching Rocky the first Rocky on TV this is a
weekday evening I think now she lived just up the road from me like five minute walk and I watched how Rocky asked out some was it Rocky not Roseanne Roseanne Josie Caroline Adrian that's it Adrian he asked Adrian out by saying do you want to go out or what you want to go out or what where so I thought if he's good enough for Rocky it's good enough for me I'm gonna give it a go and I did I knocked on her door and as soon as the door answer I
said you want to go out or what and her dad said excuse me I said oh sorry can I speak to Joanne and she said yeah she's upstairs and I went to walk in no just wait I'll go and get her he'd heard about me and so I yeah yeah I said it to her she said yes you want to go out or what and she I don't know she was watching Rocky so she was in on the whole thing and she found it powerful the most powerful way to be
asked out and she might still remember that from to this day you know she might have grandkids now and she tells him about the day the night that she was asked out by a neighbor and it was just irresistible and she couldn't figure out why and then one day she watched Rocky and she realized it was that Rocky they'd copied me in a Rocky movie yeah Rocky copied me so it's quite amazing really it's an interesting story if you're interested in stuff like that I remember she what did she do
she pierced my ear yeah my ear pierced my ear and it got a little bit a little bit infected just a little bit but I'm not sure she put makeup on me as well or whether I asked her to or was it when I got home I don't know but I did I definitely had an earring and I think I had to hide it from my dad because well basically it was his hearing hearing I didn't want him to know that I'd stolen it from him I think my stepmom gave
me an earring she was all in for it she was she was fine about that stuff but anyway this this girl that I dated briefly and I stayed friends of her and she pierced my and she did she did a lot of things that caused me physical pain begin to wonder maybe she's getting her own back yeah and I said one day she says oh my name's now I don't know I try to think of a name my name okay my name's now Laura right through as an example I said
okay Tracy she said why are you calling me Tracy I told you my name's Laura I said okay Tracy she said two things first of all I told you that my new name is now Laura so you're showing disrespect for not calling me Laura secondly my original name wasn't Tracy and I just laughed because because if you told me back then if you told me not to do something then I'm gonna do it actually I'd wait I just imagine you told me not to do something and I'll do it I
just was it just amused me and apparently she was taking this name change very seriously but unfortunately nobody else did like not one person and she was too old to change her name to too many friends everybody knew her as that name and the only way I think she'd have got away with having a new name is if she had moved to a different town different friends you know and you know that was it and it wasn't because people were being I was doing it to wind her up calling her
by her original name well whatever name I just give her different names every time so I was doing as a wind-up but most people weren't they were just used to her name but I don't say people's names anyway you know all this I would say it's really easy not to misgender someone just talk to them don't talk about anyone and you never ever misgender them I mean I've known people and I did I wasn't sure to be honest I didn't know if it was a male or female whether it mattered
and yeah I remember there was this young I mean whether or not I should be you know be confused about my feelings you know this is sometimes it's hard to know I met a few andronicus is it basically so they're not they don't I've met some people that really I mean one two actually is one god bloody 17 18 years ago that I met and I didn't really it was he was put about 18 19 and it was definitely like a male but I just couldn't did facially and voice and
and he wasn't like going through any treatment he just that's just the way he was and then I met this this girl she was a waitress at the comedy club and her brother would come in and he looked just like her I mean he was just like her but obviously physical physical differences of course but like facially the same physical size she was petite but then he was petite same I mean I think she was from Denmark or somewhere like that and not that makes any difference where she was from
but they just I got on really well with her and then remember when she a brother came around I thought it's her but it's not her it was very strange just never met anyone who looks so much like my part you know it might have been twins I didn't ask I didn't if I'd have asked then I could probably tell you no I didn't ask I probably wasn't interested back then although I did like her she was lovely but you know nothing happened I didn't really get involved with any of
the the waitresses apart from one in 1991 and that was I asked her out because I liked her she said no and then I think a couple of weeks later I said to her if I sing a song on the stage and it's any good will you date me come out with me tomorrow night and she said no and the next week I said if I sing I thought I don't know why I thought she'd just forget that I'd already said it before but she said yes this time and I
wore her down a little bit I think but I don't know I didn't know she liked me or not she didn't seem to like me but that that seemed that used to be a little bit of an enticer because I don't know why but I've met a lot of miserable women like when I was younger and it was a challenge because I wanted to make him laugh I wanted to make him smile wanted to cheer them up when that was never really my job and it's I don't know I just
saw as a challenge especially if they didn't like me it's like then I'd meet people that really liked me and I just kind of I don't know it didn't yeah it wasn't the same not the same when they like you which is ridiculous because actually the best situation you can ever be in is if you meet someone that's really into you and if you're really into them I mean that's the perfect combination obviously but it's a great start to a relationship if you if someone really likes you and you start
dating them and you like them but they really like you it's like it's a great start that's in my opinion from my experience it's not because there's less work to do partly but not not just because of that less work it's just if someone already likes you I've not really had that many people like me from a distance a few over the years but not a lot and it's kind of flattering it's almost like well they're seeing something that other people aren't seeing because if you're in a room and it's
a hundred people or two hundred people and only one person is even acknowledging you it's like okay I find it makes them more attractive in some ways but for some reason the challenge used to come from people that didn't like me or didn't seem to like me and I used to love to to catch someone out and make them laugh like really hard and I've done it a few times not just with people that didn't like me but just with people that didn't find me in the least bit amusing you
know not there might be friendly and they might like me but just they didn't find me funny at all and then I catch them out I catch them off guard and they literally can't they can't stop laughing because they're still laughing now you know it's like an involuntary response so it's not like a laugh where they're just yeah yeah huh you know some people won't do that which I'm fine with but catching them off guard where they're just like wow and especially if it's inappropriate I've always quite liked inappropriate humor
not going to cruel humor but inappropriate I like I don't mind cruel you know I don't I'm not about upsetting people but it's nice to to say something for example in the workplace that you're not supposed to say but maybe everyone else is thinking it there was this I remember my last job they were basically making people redundant the company was folding it was just a mess yeah I still had a job to go to while they were trying to figure out what to do with the business they were breaking
it up and they had a meeting so it's basically an equity firm bought the business so it wasn't about keeping it as a business they were going to try and sell the insurance part you know the customers to another insurance company so we all knew there was no job there in the future and a lot of people were leaving it started to turn into like a graveyard you know it was really really quiet they weren't replacing anyone that was leaving as well as getting rid of whole departments you know so
it's a very strange situation and it's probably about 60 70 people left in the company and we're all in this little part of the of the office because there was like four I think four different floors so one floor gone the other floor gone and I think the floor upstairs be moved down to the floor downstairs so we were just in there so it's really about 60 or 70 of us maybe less actually to be fair and the boss or one of the the main people of this equity firm came
sat down and said you know explained what was going on which was nice of him to do that and he said look you know we don't want to lay people off and all that stuff it's horrible and we want to try and keep you keep you in employment and hopefully maybe posh if we can sell the insurance part to another insurance company maybe we can try and keep your jobs or that stuff but you know we kind of all knew what was happening really we could see it in real life
in real time and he finished and he was lovely bloke and then he said should we play a song just you know just to lighten the mood what should we an appropriate soul and I just shouted out the final countdown Europe some people found it funny because that's literally what we were doing it was the final countdown but not everybody found it funny the bosses the bosses didn't find it funny but I did the weird thing about it is I left shortly after that period and yeah that the place they
closed the place down probably within about five six months they knocked the building down as well and it's now I think a big block of flats crazy in it if I go back in the history of my jobs I've had so many of them are now closed so that one's closed the insurance company before that's closed the shops that I worked in are closed like completely gone the company's gone and the so the two last insurance companies I worked for gone the two shops that worked for gone so the only
company is still there is the company I left in 2002 now 2003 so 3 13 23 22 years ago so every job I've had since then the company's gone and then we go back back to London the company I worked for for ages that's gone the comedy club gone the and then you go keep going back to when I lived in that small town the factory there gone I worked there three times the chip shop gone that's a first full-time job I had the the part-time job in the bakery like
the little bakery gone that place as you know went so the corner shop I worked at it's you know delivering papers gone they sold anyway somebody else has it now but everything's gone everything that I ever worked for pretty much are not around anymore I couldn't get a reference from anyone at all because there's no place there's no places open unless I go all the way back to 2003 and they're not going to remember me and there might be some people working there that will remember me because I did make
some fairly good friends but didn't keep in contact Wow they're weird in it we in it's strange it's almost like I didn't exist like that that that part of my life just didn't really there's no proof that it happened in some ways I kind of would have liked to have stayed at the factory because the third time I was there I was doing night shift and I liked working there at nights I was I was kind of happy actually and I moved to a studio apartment which was perfect for me
really I didn't need a flat it was it had everything I needed in my own bathroom my own kitchen bed I even had a chair that I could sit in had everything so I was I think even had its own TV so I was good living there and I could have stayed there for years but then the company I was working for this meter making company that's now been gone for a long time decades they changed my shift to alternate shifts you know like 6 in the morning till 2 in
the afternoon and then the next week 2 in the afternoon till 10 in the evening and that I couldn't do that I just couldn't do it I needed I needed the stability at the time what I didn't realize is I could have done 6 to 2 every day well I could have done 2 to 10 every week I didn't know at the time so maybe if I'd have asked them they might be a little bit flexible but I didn't ask so I realized that once I moved to London I was
getting up early every day and I could do it because it wasn't shifts it was just the same time and you I got used to it I got used to getting up early going to work and finishing early it's nice as well finishing at 2 in the afternoon and when I did insurance the second insurance job they allowed me for a while and they stopped it after a while but allowed me to do the 1 to 9 shift every week because it was like they had three different shifts but they
allowed me to just to do the evening because most people didn't want to do the evening but most of the people working in that insurance company in the sales department anyway were young men there were some females there but it was predominantly young men in their early 20s and they wanted to go out they wanted to do stuff in the evening and I didn't I didn't have that I didn't have anything to do in evening really because I was in my 30s and not that that's a reason just I wasn't
interested really in going out so they allowed me to do the 9 to 1 every week and I went home early on a Friday 9 to 1 um 1 to 9 Monday to Thursday and on a Friday I used to come in in the morning to 1 o'clock in the afternoon and go home and have the weekend off perfect perfect perfect perfect but then yeah something changed and I had to go back to what I was doing before so you know whenever I get like a decent shift kind of liked
it it kind of had to change it's just like when I was working at the when I was working downstairs at the second insurance company doing compliance well just listening to people's phone calls and stuff make sure they're doing the job right I got I became unwell and I had to go part-time and I was doing I think 9 to 2 five days a week yeah there's five hours a day or 10 to 2 so it was like a 9 or 10 to 2 and that was absolutely perfect for me
and if anything I actually did more work I got more work done I could be more focused knowing there was such a short time and then in the afternoon I could go and do relaxation groups at the drug rehab and the alcohol charities and also doing the free pain relief so I could do stuff that was to me that was worthwhile during the day as well as working and although that company did close so I wouldn't still be there I would have stayed doing that probably till they closed if I
hadn't been for the ultimatum well it's two ultimatums actually the first was you can you got a choice you can leave or you can start wearing trousers the second ultimatum was that I could either go back to full time or leave that was it and I said why can't I just continue as I am and they said because we need you to go full time now I realized part of the reason because my my my boss had left so he he was doing there's only a team of three of us
he was a supervisor of us but he was also the IT person as well so he was doing lots of everything if I would say for the most dedicated member of staff in that place when he was there the irony of it okay this is the irony I thought he'd stay there forever and he's the one that told me that it was a job so I should talk to him he used to come up to the IT in the he's only a young bloke but he did the IT in the
sales department upstairs where I was so I kind of got on with him he was a nice bloke and I knew what he did up there and I knew the lady that used to do the listen to the calls and he'd listen to some she'd listen to some but then they increased the sales department right by twice as many and they needed a new person to help and he told me that there was a vacancy so I said I'll couldn't I'd like to apply so she said well he said I'll
have a word with the boss downstairs and get you to get you know get you a what's it you know an interview so I think he was in the interview with me and the lady that was interviewing me she was the manager of the department downstairs which was order what you call it the what everything from like basically the admin administration people you know when you call up and you basically they did all that stuff and sales department upstairs had its own manager the compliance had its own manager as well
and she used to be the sales department manager so I knew her quite well so she was there for the first year or so year and a half that I was in the sales so she gave me an interview about you know become a compliance officer now I was pretty much the number it sounds like I'm bragging but this is true I know not everything not everything I've said in this recording this might be as true as it might seem just remembering back to something I said about the palace earlier
but and also when I said I was going to talk about cats I don't know why I've not talked about cats I don't know I really wish I did I feel disappointed in myself for not sticking to the plan all I've ever wanted to do is talk about cats and this is the opportunity I had and what I do I squander it by talking about insurance companies I've worked for I don't know why anyway we're in there and the reason she said to me what why do you think you'd be
good at this job listening to people's calls and doing a compliance become a compliance officer basically and I said because I'm the best I'm the best one up there I'm the best person on the sales floor compliance wise except for one person this does it was a car it was a competition between me and this lady who I loved and she liked me I don't think she loved me and she had a boyfriend she was engaged to be married I still loved her and she basically the way they had the
setup is this they had so look so you get so you get your sales bonus paid weekly in cash and then you get the the basic salary which was I think 13 13 half or 13 grand at that time in sales floor or was it I was earning 25 grand a year with the sales and everything everything together so I used to get for every compliance sheet that I got a hundred percent on she had to get over they give us six six a month where six they'd listen to six
phone calls and then mark down that we'd asked all the questions or we're supposed to ask and everything was done correctly so they'd do six of those a month anyone that got a first that got a hundred percent would get 25 pound bonus for each one and anyone that got all six anyone got a hundred percent on all six got an extra hundred pound okay so yeah blimey 25 20 I don't know yeah so was it five I think it's five or six a month so anyway I think it was
yeah I think it was six so there was the there was a potential of earning 125 pound a month extra on top of the sales on top of the basic salary as well so that was all extra money and that had come in with the salary so I saw that as an opportunity because the company their insurance quotations weren't great at times they weren't good for young people and they were good for certain groups of society but sometimes the the rates would be a bit naff sometimes they were good it
depends you know really depended and so I thought you know what I wasn't in the top sometimes I was in the top you know I'd sometimes I'd be the top person in the top group of people who sold sometimes I wasn't I was kind of in the top middle if that makes sense in that company as far as sales goes I was definitely you know they were never gonna sack me because I was good but I wasn't the best seller and there was a handful of people that were selling more
than me and but what I did make up instead is I tried to get as many hundred percent as I could so and so did she this this lady that I nearly married if only she'd have noticed I existed and we it was a basically like a little jousting every month about who would win and she sometimes she won sometimes I won but the months I didn't get five at the months I didn't get six I get five or maybe four and the same with her she'd always get like elite
we were pretty much I was I was marginally better than her I would say I mean from the statistics I won it more often she did but she was pretty much between me and her the whole time for about a year or so so that's what I said to the in the interview I said well I'm the best than the best person you know you want someone to listen to calls to see if they're doing a job properly then you want someone that can actually do the job properly I'm your
man and no one else had applied for the job either so it's not like it was a bunch of people waiting and if the lady upstairs had applied she might got it shall tell you why no one applied that's because it is one sentence that the the manager said to me that he was like she said so you want to move from sales down to here I said yeah and you're willing to take a 10,000 pound a year pay cut based on what you're earning with your bonuses and everything so
my basic was going to be 15 grand I said yeah and they were just looking at each other like bewildered why would you do that why would you take 10,000 pound 200 pound a week why would you take 10,000 pound reduction in your in your money I said because I want to have my evenings free I want to have my evenings free and I've had enough of sales now I want to do something different and I know that I'll be good at this at this job because it's what I'm already
good at you know the best person to do a job like that is someone's already done it who's been on the other side like a driving instructor or driving test person has to be really good driver and probably imagine most driving test people have been driving instructors for a long time I'm guessing I make that up I hope it's true that's what I'm gonna say I hope it's true and basically the sales department didn't want to lose me because just because it's like I mean anybody don't want to lose someone
that sells wasn't that I was stuck because I was special although my teachers used to say that I was special my stepmum used to tell me that I was special I never understood what it meant until I was older so I started studying psychology it's weird isn't it I was in a special class at school I didn't have to wear a helmet or anything but I was literally in you think I'm joking it's true I actually in the first year of high school I was taken out of the maths class
because well firstly my maths teacher left and it was the only I'm gonna say the only subject teacher that I liked because I got on with the RE teacher which is religious education but I didn't really class that as a subject that was just just religion I knew you know I grew up with Catholic nuns and I knew my way around I could maneuver my way around religion quite easily so yeah it was it was easy and both the teachers were lovely because I had two different teachers one for the
first year or two and then the other one for the last three years and they were all both equally really nice so that was that was easy never struggled in doing RE but maths my first maths teacher called mr.
Matthews big beautiful beard honestly he was a beautiful beard I don't know there's something about big beards he was like a the thing is when I was a kid growing up like in the late 70s there's a TV show called is it grizzly bear what was it what was the show called Herman not Herman Munster the bear not giant giant haystacks 70s bear TV show busty Adams not busty Adams not busty there was something Adams Barnaby busty Adams but if I go Adams I'm sure is Adams the life and times
of grizzly Adams and he had a big old beard that was it I can't just don't know why I looked at that up just to say that sentence but yeah he had a big beard it was about 1977 and I went to high school in 1981 and he's had a big friendly beard I mean not all not all beards are friendly but he had a friendly beard and mr.
Johnson ironically the only name I remember from any of my teachers of any school ever he's the only name I remember mr.
Johnson he was lovely and he also took time to talk to me and to try and explain the maths to me now I'm not saying that he was successful but it wasn't about that for me it was about the fact that from a school's perspective that's what they want isn't it they want they want success and results but he was kind of you know I kind of opening me up a little bit just stretching me a little bit you know just gradually kind of just like stretching my mind to the
possibility that maybe I could understand some of the more well more complicated mathematical structures then I previously learned in junior school and I was very behind and I felt listened to I felt heard and it was so calm now I'm not saying that if he'd have stayed there I would have become some kind of mathematic genius he can't be a genius at everything but I think if I'd have had him or versions of him in all my subjects I might have left school with some qualifications potentially because probably the teacher
that I would want to impress so if I had homework from him I'd want to go home and do it in order for him to impress him to make him feel good or to I don't know just that's probably how I would have done it but unfortunately I think I had him for one term or half a term even I don't know and he was ill and he never came back so they had these replacement teachers and it just turned into a game for the class to just be as abrupt
abruptive well you'll call it disruptive as possible to this teacher I didn't want to participate but you know you have this like peer pressure so now wait a minute I was the ones causing it no I didn't I just I was sitting at the back I don't I don't remember so much but I know that I was taken out of that class and I was put into a different room this big room that had games and toys and bearing in mind we were all 11 years old plus not not the
11 year olds wouldn't want to play board games because we played board games at home at Christmas and stuff but or on a Sunday you know Monopoly stuff like that but it wasn't a teaching experience they'd take us in there and leave us on our own for like two hours and I say us it was all the naughty kids no I I wasn't taken out because I was naughty I don't think I don't think it was it was a mixture of naughty kids and kids that just weren't academically I suppose
they called it a dunces class that's what the headmaster called it it was a dunces class now you wouldn't you know wouldn't call would use that terminology now but at the time that's what it was called it was basically known as the dunces class and I was in it with a lot of I probably see I'm not trying to put myself down or anything if I was at high school now if I was sitting in let's say the first day of first year now I'd probably call the police wouldn't they
what's this 55 year old man doing it no but if I was if I was just that version of me now would be they'd have picked up my various quirks and some of the issues and I would have been I've been in special needs I've been in special needs class maybe not for everything but for a fair bit and once the tea you know they made excuses two different excuses why I was so slow the teachers said because they were just guessing the first one was this is the very first
school I went to when I moved to my with my dad and his new wife and my stepmom told me this I don't know why she had to tell me but she said oh the reason they think you're so slow and backward is that because you've moved around so much during your childhood you've never settled anywhere you never stayed at the same school for any length of time so you haven't learned the same stuff that these other kids who are 7 have learned you don't have the same education that they've
got so that's why yes that's why you and she said something else like you've been taught the wrong way which I don't quite know what that meant I didn't know that what it meant then and then right that was when I was 7 when I was 8 I was I found out that I was partially deaf in one ear I started having earaches and stuff and regularly and then they they found they give me tests and whatever and they took my adenoids out so I had an operation and that's what
I was told by the teachers apparently they had meetings with the teachers that this was the second junior school that I was at in that town couldn't moved it's ironic isn't it the reason is so so backwards is because he keeps moving schools oh I know what we do I'm moving to another school which is what happened then they moved me to another school another junior school went to three junior schools in that one just between the ages of 7 and 10 or 7 and yes 7 and 10 because I
turned 11 just before I went to high school but it's just because we were moving around but in within the same town though but when I was 8 then the new excuse for me being so slow and backward was because I was partially deaf so I wasn't hearing what was being said in the classroom because I had a sitting at the back of the room and I wouldn't ask so I wasn't hearing what was being so I was missing stuff but I wasn't asking for the teacher to repeat stuff because
I was a little kid I didn't you know I didn't I didn't become cheeky till I went to high school that's when I became a little bit louder in junior school I was a good little boy and I wouldn't ask questions and I would just sit there and behave myself and I thought I was doing quite well I enjoyed junior school all three of them most of the time yeah it was alright actually they're quite in the lessons I didn't really feel pressure at all but they didn't they didn't put
any pressure on me it's almost like they knew what was going on before I got there I didn't feel I was treated any different but you know when I got to high school that was when it really kind of got such a shock it's like you mean I've got to learn stuff that's not fair so yeah there was all these excuses and then when I get to high school the only excuse I was a dunce there was no like well it's because he was partially probably spent the last the first
eight years of his life being partly deaf and the third or because he kept moving around for you know for the first seven years moving around so much that he never stayed anywhere for very long when I was a high school he was like no he's just thick he's a dunce he's just sticking in a room with all the other dunces so we used to get married to each other and technically I suppose that's inbreeding isn't it but he we just used to have fun and I tell you what being
in the dunces class and it didn't last it lasted for about a year and then they took us out of it and put us back into the maths class and I just was disruptive and I just like I've missed out all that time so I couldn't even there was no way of catching up at all because I've missed all that time of maths and I don't know if I might have been put in there during geography and history as well I don't remember so there was zero without extra homework or
tutoring rather there was no way I was gonna catch up because they literally took me out of the maths classroom for a year so yeah which I liked and the benefit of that for me school-wise is I got to know all the tough kids not all of them but a lot of the tough kids were the ones that were leery and the ones that unruly and didn't do what they were told one of the kids was he'd been in children's home like me and there was a few tough kids that
like just kept fighting and I became friends with them all so it kind of set me up for the year for the high school because I just I've made some friends that were kind of outcasts in a way if that makes any sense kind of a bit and another I've always felt an outcast because if you move around a lot I mean I didn't admittedly I stayed at high school the whole time so I didn't I didn't move around I was first second third fourth and in fifth which was well
fifth was just two terms but I didn't you know I didn't move I went to school the whole time in high high school but before that I was just constantly moving and then when I left school constantly moving all through my high like my adult years up until when I moved here so from the ages of 15 to the ages of 44 so what's that so it's 29 years so for 29 years I was moving constantly moving from address to address job to job relationship to relationship just constantly on the
move never had never it wasn't like oh there was no stability but I never almost didn't want it or didn't didn't know how to get it so living here now for 11 years it's the longest I've ever lived anywhere in my life and being stable enough to have a pet so I could never have a dog before when I was moving around from room to room most landlords don't allow you to have a pet if it's like in a room or even in a flat a lot of places don't allow
you to have a dog so then there's been times I wouldn't have been able to feed the dog anyway so you know it's yeah in some ways I've done alright in a weird way in a weird way I've done I've not done too bad bad really I'm not what you would call a success but I tell you one of my anthems when I was younger was the song from Greece and no it's not Sandy the it's the what's her name she thought the lady sings Sandra Dee look at me I'm
Sandra Dee not that song but that lady and she sings a song she's accused of I think being pregnant or something because she sleeps with her boyfriend yeah this is based in the 50s I think the movie isn't it so she starts singing a song which is basically the words there are worse things I could do and that's kind of been my anthem for my life maybe it's not the most positive anthem but it's like you know what there are worse things I could do I've really you know the last
20 years really put a lot of effort to try and be it did do the right thing do the decent thing not always succeeded but I've tried really tried and before that from 97 to 2006 really worked hard on myself like both spiritually and like self-help wise listening to hundreds of audio tapes reading books and just trying to sort change and grow as a person since 2007 and even in my 20s when unless that wasn't necessarily behaving myself potentially but they're not most of the time I was just working and
on and off I used to read a lot of Buddhist books and trying a lot of books just try and get in touch with some kind of quietness within me trying to understand myself and I think maybe I've got there a little bit I'm not saying this is oh aren't I good haven't I done well but there are worse things are worse things I could have done than what I've done I've never I've not really never on purpose caused anyone problems you know I've made some really silly mistakes over the
years it's a very much a situation like stand up if you haven't or raise your hand if you haven't you know I mean it's like come on be honest who hasn't who hasn't made a mistake so we've all I would say most people have done it I mean if you're two years old you might you know I'm talking about adults especially people my age blimey there are worse things I could do then smoking a cigarette or two or sucking a no I don't know but it's that song stayed with me
because you just change your lyrics so I could change your lyrics to stuff that I've done and like you know me it's worse things I can do then I don't know and I've had some good examples of some of the things I could have done which I didn't some of the things I nearly did but I didn't so yeah I don't know why I started thinking of the dunce class by the way that's that's not the right term now but that's what it was called back then yes it's 1981 it's
a long time ago I think special special needs would probably be what I would be under now I would be under special needs possibly even have someone at school with me I don't know why that's funny but having someone that would like a car we didn't have classroom assistants back then so someone that would kind of sit with me and explain some stuff didn't have that back then it was just one teacher but then we didn't have I think classrooms are much bigger now than they used to be much more
fuller so the classroom you know which they'd be busy the before but it wasn't like jam jam jam packed so maybe classroom assistants weren't required it's weird though because I've remembered I think the history I think it was in the fourth year and the teacher said right you check your homework to me I started laughing I said what homework he said I set your homework on Tuesday I said I've been in your class for three and a half years I've never once done any homework you never asked to check my
homework once in three and a half years he just walked away I think he said oh it's not on my desk by the end of lunchtime then you're in trouble I think he gave me detention and it was the first detention I ever got ironically the last year of school I kept getting detention the first four years nothing for some reason the last is like there's a vendetta against me and they kept the teacher started saying we want you to work we want you to do doing your homework we want
you to be handing stuff in it's like well firstly I'm only doing the exams because you're making me do them I'm not allowed to do O levels because that's what it was back then not GCSEs it was O levels then CSE and then in maths it was City and Guilds I did the City and Guilds exam in maths and failed and I failed every exam I did and I still got into university yeah still managed to get a degree with a little help from my friends that's something also that I've
kind of beginning not beginning but began to become more aware of is the times and the people where I've been helped the people have helped me the times I've been helped and the things that I possibly would not have achieved or not in the same way without those people I guess I suppose I'm basically saying that my feelings of gratitude are growing towards individuals from the past and maybe I didn't feel the gratitude maybe I felt the gratitude I was thankful but I didn't feel it as strongly at the time
but as as the years have flip-flopped by rolled down the hill like a big mothball I started to think well yeah the lady that helped me when I was at university without her I've said it I've been saying it for 10 years but I really don't believe that I'd have I'd have my degree without her I don't see her anymore which is a shame but did she ever listen to this I'm pretty sure I did tell her and I thanked her but perhaps I didn't appreciate it as much at the
time or appreciate her as much at the time although I did appreciate it and yeah without her I would not have my degree it's not even a case of probably I wouldn't I'm pretty much 90% 90 I'd say 90 yeah 100% sure we'd never can ever be a hundred it would be a hundred percent sure but um you know she helped me so much just to keep going just to keep at it not about helping me with my with my coursework or anything like that it was about motivation is about
keep doing it just keep going and I did my friend from the comedy club helped me so much so many ways he helped me you know I was yeah he just has it's the lady from the counseling service to one that gave me my first counseling position charity after the first two years of college I've been hounding there for about two years and she kept saying wait when you get your diploma when you get your diploma so when I got my diploma I was like round there and she yeah she
gave me gave me a chance and then with another charity so it's a really big nationwide charity it's I had an interview to become a counselor there after I trained and qualified but the lady who was in charge did not like me I couldn't really put my finger on it I did say to her like afterwards I sort of sent an email just saying look I didn't want to be personal so it's you're clearly you don't like me but she did she sent an email saying sorry we don't have any
positions at the moment we've given it to other people so I thought right I want to ask you why but not in a way that's gonna completely push me out of any future opportunities and also every people talk to me like the different charities talk to each other and it was based first adults and children and it was kind of you know there's it was all kind of all kind of connected in a certain way so I thought I'd be careful about this so I sent her a letter just an
email just saying well thanks I appreciate your time I didn't really feel that way because I knew she didn't like me I could you know you can just tell just I just felt that she didn't yeah she's the way she was looking at me and I said I'd really you know appreciate the opportunity to be interviewed for your charity because I know it's the best it's the best charity by most well-known in the UK and I hope that maybe in the future you can keep my keep my my details on
file and maybe in the future there may be possibilities you know for me and she said and I said okay now at the end I said so if I can I said just out of interest just my future interviews you know going forward could you give me any kind of hints of what I could have done a little bit different in the interview because I don't I don't feel the interview went particularly well and I was wondering if you could tell me what I could do a little bit differently in
order to pass myself across more positively in the interview process and within about five minutes she sent a text back big capital letters wear trousers and I thought I was in she said another one base and don't bring a flask of coffee to the interview like I was waiting for the next one I thought next she's gonna tell me not to bring me cat but yeah but who I am grateful for it's not her because she left she could she became unwell and was temporarily off but I don't she never
came back so I don't know if it's that or I got no idea I think she might have moved away I don't know but she she had some time off and the person that took over her role temporarily didn't even take over at full time was this lady who really liked me and she I think the reason she didn't take it over full-time is because she had a an ongoing physical condition which meant she wasn't interested she didn't want to be the boss she was happy just to help out as
an assistant you know because she was a counselor herself and she kept phoning me up saying I've got some work if you want it because I always got on with her you just see her at these meetings because we'd have to do further education things every now and then you know on a Saturday and stuff so I've really got on well with her and she just phoned me up and one by one she was filling up my calendar so I went from no work literally looking for a job thinking well
I can't even get counseling I had one evening a week at the charity the other charity which was just three free sessions a week any on a Wednesday evening I think it was or Friday evening and then I ended up with I think 16 slots with the big charity I think it went up to 20 at one point she literally just had loads of extra work and handed it to me and I was like I was doing yeah about 16 hours a week I think with the other place 20 altogether
so 16 hours she gave me well maybe it's 20 but at least 16 so that was 25 pound an hour for 16 hours so I said 10 250 300 for it was never I was self-employed and I really had all 16 hours filled it just doesn't work like that you get sometimes you will but then people don't turn up don't get paid for those there's gaps between someone finishing and a new client you know so there's always I think I worked on a Monday so there's a few bank holidays that
I didn't get so you know I never ended up I think with like 16 hours filled for one week because that would have been yeah I feel the most I ever went was about a thousand pound in a month there was a thousand pound more than I would have got if it wasn't for that lady helping me out and she wasn't helping me out like as a favor she just liked me and she gave me an opportunity she gave me a chance and then the new person who took over as
the manager of the place I got on really became quite close to her really on with her really well and because I knew the building it was an old building and I used to stay with her till the end of the day for when she left because she didn't like being on there on her own because big big dark building and I knew the codes and everything to get in and out and so yeah I used to walk her to the car park so we got on really well then they
moved to a different address and stuff so that was okay after that but yeah so I feel really grateful to her as well did as well says a bunch of people that I don't see anymore but really do feel grateful I mean I sent a letter to my first step mum last year I think it might have been for Mother's Day and sent her flowers and I sent a little card with the flowers thanking her for everything she did when I was a kid for taking me on and looking after
me and stuff and I just thought I got it's gotta say it it's been like decades I hope that dogs not too loud but it's been decades so I thought I'd just try and do it and see whether or not just just you know just let her know I did a similar thing with my uncle which was her brother a few years back I sent him a long email just basically saying thank you for being such a great uncle and then I blocked him might sound weird but I just didn't
I didn't want to kind of a conversation about I just wanted just to tell him because I hadn't spoken to him in like 30 odd years just wanted just to say thank you I'm not sure if you can hear the little doggie in the background bless him but that's me I'm gonna get myself some a couple of croissants to eat and a cup of tea and I'm gonna watch Minder I am on television the 1980s television program so I'd say thank you for listening remember to be kind to yourself because
you do deserve to be happy and be gentle with yourself you deserve to feel safe lots of love and I realized I've not really done a Monday's boring objects unless I call I suppose I could focus it on what have I spoken about I don't know it's just been a mismatch mixy matchy insurance jobs jobs moving about I could just call it Monday's boring objects and it's just been a bit it's just the same as any other recording though isn't it yeah I won't bother just it's just a normal recording where I kind of just follow where my voice leads me so take care lots of love bye
Paragraph spacing and recurring name or title errors have been tidied. Because this began as a voice transcription, an occasional word or piece of punctuation may still be incorrect.