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Hello and welcome to let me bore you to sleep. My name is Jason Newland. My website is www.jasonnewland.com That's a blast from the past.
That's what I used to say right at the beginning of every single recording 20 years ago. But I had a much squeaker voice back then. Honestly, I'm not even joking.
If you ever want to watch any of the videos from like 2007, they're on my YouTube channel, I think. So like, hello, and welcome to www.jasonnewland.com. I'm Jason Newland. I'm going to do a relaxation recording.
Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. I'm still saying that bit 20 years on. So please only listen when you can safely close your eyes.
I think what it is is when I started, I was almost I guess, not an act wasn't put on an act. But I was I wanted to other portraits and professionalism, which didn't really sound very professional, did it? Hi. But now I'm just me.
This is me. Whatever you get is me. Whatever version of me is on the day.
So yes, weird. And my voice has got deeper over the years. Because you know, I'm 20 years older, and I'm just croak.
I have a croakier voice. I was born into a star. See, my dream is to one day to be able to do that song and be as low as a. Is it James Coburn? Who sang it in paint my wagon with Clint Eastwood? I do believe.
That's weird, isn't it? I have that useless information. Isn't it weird to think that Clint Eastwood is in movies in the 40s? I think, or at least in the 50s? Clint Eastwood when was Clint Eastwood's first movie? I'm starting off with that useless information. Not useless as in not for him, because he's an absolute legend.
But it's not something that really is necessary. But I'm going to go early life and work with Clint Eastwood. The thing is, he's had so many movies, literally have to.
When did he start? When did 1963? 1954. So he was in a movie in 1954. Act in cast.
Oh no, he was in a movie in 1909. No. Come on filmography.
Give me some filmography, baby. Well, I'm not going to spend too long on this because I have something very, very important to say. Very, very important.
No filmography. Got it. No, that's the awards.
It is awards. I don't know. Did he ever win an Oscar for acting? I think he won an Oscar for director, I think.
1955 was his very earliest acting roles. But he started directing and producing from 1971 onwards. He's also credited for songs from 1969 onwards.
And he was a singer in 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. It's a grand Torino where he was uncredited. But he was credited for Paint Your Wagon, Bronco Billy, Any Which Way You Can, Any Which Way You Can. Ooh, Honky Tonk Man, City Heat.
But he was the composer for Unforgiven, A Perfect World, The Bridges of Madison County, Absolute Power. And he was the lyricist for Heartbreak Ridge, True Crime in 99, Flags of Our Fathers, Grace is Gone and Grand Torino. Blimey.
That is absolutely phenomenal. That's a lot, isn't it? That's a lot. It's a, I mean, to be, wow, I'm just flabbergasted.
So directed, he's directed so many movies. The director, producer, produced most of the ones he's directed, apart from a handful. So Play Misty for me was his first one as director, but he didn't produce it.
High Plains Drifter again, directed it, but didn't produce it. I remember that one. That was a bit grim at the beginning.
Fire Fox, he produced and directed that one. Honky Tonk Man. I think the first one I really, I guess because it's more my period, more my era, era, era, Pale Rider, 1985.
I like that. And he produced and directed it. I feel it was a really, really good movie.
I watched that in cinema. Then I didn't really watch The Unforgiven. Was that the same, was that the same kind of movie, Unforgiven, that he's directed but didn't produce it? But I didn't really, I didn't know that he produced any of these or directed.
The first time I knew that he directed anything was the Million Dollar Baby, because I do believe that won him an Oscar. But he also did Mystic River, which was, it's grim. It's a very, very grim movie.
Powerful, powerful movie, that one. That's got Sean Penn in. Because a lot of these movies, I don't think he's even in some of them.
Gran Torino, I thought was really good. I can't believe that was 2008. Sully, I liked Sully.
That was good. Wasn't Sully Tom Hanks though? Sully Tom, yeah, Tom Hanks is a grumpy old man. No, no.
Oh, it's based on. No, he was, he was an airline. Okay, Cry Metro.
Yeah, I like that. Because that's, that was him again, Cry Metro. So yeah, anyway.
So this isn't really about Clint Eastwood. Believe it or not, even though I've managed to spend eight minutes talking about him. So let you know, I've got a YouTube channel.
You can search for me, Jason Newland, let me bore you to sleep. All my recordings are uploaded there automatically. It's basically a podcast.
I have a website, jasonnewland.com, where all my recordings also automatically uploaded to all six versions, three without music, three with music, short, long, and overnight. Although the short ones aren't always short. Hypnosis ones might be 20-30 minutes.
But the read, let me bore you to sleep generally, a fair bit more than that. I have a Facebook group called Jason Newland's Boring Group, which you can join if you want. And I also upload all my latest videos or my recordings to the first 59 minutes at least to x Instagram and TikTok.
And that I do believe is all the information. So I spoke yesterday was it a day before about my visit to the opticians and the wonderful the adventures, the adventures of Jason's wonky eye. I think I should have called it because I got a lazy eye and cataracts.
Yay. Gradually bit by bit. Why did my body is decaying? It's great.
So I've got glasses, I've got three pairs of glasses, one for screen work, one for reading, one for distance when I'm out. Or basically watching TV or you know, just generally day to day. So I've got instead of having bifocals, which I've had before, that really don't work for me.
Because I need the full, I need the full glasses for whatever I'm doing. Because I keep looking and it causes eye strain to keep to look if I'm looking through the wrong lens, if that makes sense. So and the reading glasses aren't the right glasses for screen work, because the screen is too far away.
And I don't read when I'm out anyway. I can I mean, I can read basically. So let's say if I'm in a supermarket and I want to read, I'm going to close that window.
Right, I just closed the window is only open a crack and pulled the curtains over. I can't stop the dog barking, but at least I can kind of dim it down a little bit. And what was I saying? Yes, I've got if I'm out and I'm in a supermarket, I don't need my reading glasses to read something.
I mean, I can read like close up, I can kind of put this stuff close to my eyes and to read what's on the packaging. But I can't read for long lengths of time without, you know, getting eye strain or headache. So because it's kind of quite close to my eyes, which I wouldn't need to do if I have my glasses on.
So my reading glasses that is. And I really it's weird now because now, now the potential of my eyes, well, knowing that my eyesight is going to deteriorate over the next few years, to the point where I'm going to have to have my cataracts done. Cataracts? Did I say cataracts? Is that the right thing? In both eyes, so I'm gonna my eyesight is going to deteriorate and at some point and get blurry or whatever.
So I need to make the most of two things. I need to really start looking after my eyes. But I also need to be making the best of having my eyesight while it's it's because this is as good as ever going to get I suppose.
This is I don't know. Maybe once I had the cataract thing, my eyesight would be perfect again. I don't quite know how it works.
I don't really want to have it. I don't want to have an operation on my eyes. If I'm honest, even though it's the most, it's the most simplest operation that they can do apparently.
But anyway, I I read at home, I don't go out and read. I don't. In fact, I haven't really hardly read anything else outside of what looking at computer screen for ages.
So it'd be nice to get back to reading because I've not been able to because the line, apart from the fact that my eyesight's changed a lot in the last four years. So even the reading bit at the bottom of my glasses, although clearer than the middle bit and the top bit is still not really ideal. It's not like to the correct level that it needs to be.
I think if that makes sense. So and I've got the distance and the every everyday ones. As I spoke about it, and I mentioned how much it was going to be and I'm gonna you know, everything like that just well.
I received a text a very short time ago. Informing me if I can turn my phone on. Oh, come on.
Informing me that you have received money from PayPal. Brooke sent me money and a note from Brooke. So thank you, Brooke.
I'll send you a message as well. But I'm going to put that as the title of this recording. Thank you, Brooke.
I just listened to your chat about your glasses, please buy those glasses. So she's actually sent me the exact amount of money I need. Because 181 pound or 180 181 for the glasses.
And she sent that $243. I'm just flabbergasted. And I didn't think I'd ever get a chance to use flabbergasted in a real sentence.
And usually I say flabbergasted and it's like a jokey kind of thing. You know, but literally, I was not expecting that. I just wasn't, you know, you could have said, Oh, he's you can, you got 10 chances to win a million pound, guess what your next text is going to be? I wouldn't have guessed would I? But then I still have that text.
So but yeah, I'm going to go and pay for my glasses tomorrow. I hope. I hope I'm gonna be able to go out and pay for them.
Which means the glasses should be ready roughly within about a week. Give or take. Sometimes they it depends.
I think it depends on what kind of glasses you get in and what has to be done to them. Because I'm having actor light and anti glare. So I got anti glare for the computer screen.
And anti glare. Yeah, because of my my eyes, they recommend to get anti glare. I think anti scratch comes with them anyway.
And then the actor, actor light, activated light thing on my day to day ones. And because I need to protect my eyes from the sun, not from the sunlight. So I don't know.
So that I have that anyway on these ones. But it's weird because these ones cost me about three 300 pounds, I think, four years ago was a 200 pound 300 pound by got to like I got two pairs for one. And I was like triple lenses.
So they cost more, I guess. And by got two pairs for the price of one, which is good. Because I did actually need to wear the second pair.
The first pair did wear out. But the I think it would have been more expensive. I thought it was going to be more expensive, because I had to get three pairs of glasses, three frames.
But I realized it doesn't matter what the frames look like when I'm reading or when I'm on a computer. Because I'm at home, they just need to feel comfortable, you know, just like any glasses, just normal glasses just feel okay. And I found two pairs that felt comfortable.
And that was it. But I wanted them to be different colors, because I don't want to. It might sound weird, but I want to know which is which I've got white ones or see through ones for my reading.
I've got I think black ones for the computer. And another one, these are kind of like more bluey greeny ones, brownie greeny ones for out. Okay, they're pink for out.
And I can't remember what color they are. But I was going to go when I was there, I was going to look I was looking at the the really light ones. And they had some that was so light that I knew they were going to break.
Like no way, there's no point having something like that. Because the arms for the ears, the ear arms, whatever they call them, the ear holders were basically like flimsy wire. And I thought no, that, oh, no, no, it's not going to survive.
And then they had others that were also really, really light. And it didn't feel like I had them on. And I thought, well, this is okay.
To have something that doesn't really feel like I'm wearing them. But how are they gonna, how are they gonna feel? You know, when it's windy? Well, how are they gonna? Are they gonna sort of deal with the weather? Because we do get a fair bit of wind here sometimes. Not just from me, but you know, from the weather.
So for you know, because we get a lot of a lot of rain and you know, over the years, I thought I need something a little bit hard wearing, a little bit tough. But not too tough. And I looked around and there wasn't a huge collection really to choose from.
And I suppose you know, space doesn't allow it, does it? If they, I'm pretty sure that if they had enough space, they could have thousands of different pairs of glasses to choose from. But they didn't. So there's a choice of maybe, was it two, four, two, four, six, eight, probably about 100, maybe 150 pairs.
Maybe less than that. Maybe 100 pairs to choose from. Two, four, I can't remember.
It's maybe 150. 10, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70. I would say maybe 150 pairs.
I found a pair that was actually cheap. In fact, I think it was cheaper than the ones that I was going to have for reading. But I just quite liked them.
I don't know what it was about that I liked them. I just and the lady that was dealing with me, she seemed to be pushing certain glasses onto me. And very basic, like focused on price.
So I wasn't sure she was trying to save me money or earn a bonus. I couldn't really figure it out, you know, because I was getting confused. And I think she was a little bit confused as well because I wasn't helping.
Because I kept asking her about the Battle of Waterloo. And she kept saying, I don't know anything about that. And I just kept asking her more and more questions about the Battle of Waterloo.
And she just, you know, then she went on a break and she had to see someone else. When she came back, she said, no more questions about Waterloo, please. I said, okay.
So I just stuck to submarines. And apparently she didn't want to talk about that either. So it got very complicated at times.
And I just found a pair that I liked. And it's not a lot of, there's not a lot of time and you think about it. Yeah.
This is something that I'm going to be wearing on my face for the next. I don't know how long I've got. I probably use every two years are supposed to go to the to the whatsit.
So for at least the next couple of years, I'm going to be wearing these on my face in public for everyone to see. And I'm supposed to choose within a few minutes. I'm not very good at choosing things.
It's not my speciality. Honestly, I mean, I mentioned this the other day, if I go into in blockbusters, I would be in there for a couple of hours, looking through every single video and still not be able to choose. And sometimes ending up having to choose at the very last minute because they were closing.
Remember the last, the last one I said, yeah, I said, you closed and said, yeah, we're closing down. Can you please just take the videos? You haven't got paid for them. You can have them.
We need to close the doors. I need to look for a different job. So, okay, blimey.
They got to know me. I made some new friends. So choosing glasses, I think with, I've got a thing about things, I think with haircuts or something, because I remember years ago, I thought I'd be much better off getting my hair cut by, and I don't mean this in a sexist way at all, by the way, but by a bird, by a female, not because, I only just, I want, I thought this is when I was younger, like, I want the person doing my hair to make me look as presentable as possible to possibly meet my future wife, should we say like that.
And I'm probably not going to get that from a man who really didn't care. He just, he just did it however I wanted it and didn't argue, just like, okay. But I quite liked the, the input I would get from a female saying, well, maybe a Mohican isn't what you need right now.
Maybe dyeing your hair green isn't great for a first date. You know, things like that can be valuable, you know. And she didn't want to go out with me after that.
You know, it's, oh, anyway, I'm not going to, I'm going to stop there. So yeah, it's, I kind of thought this sort of similar thing with glasses. I want someone to look at me with the glasses on and say, yeah, core.
And I know it's not going to happen. I know it's not realistic at all. Just, you know, in reality, ain't no one going to be going core, looking at me with glasses or no glasses.
But the idea that someone could say, well, you're less likely to get rejected by 99.2% of the female population if you wear those ones, as opposed to these ones, you know, let's see. But spec savers does not offer that service. But you know, I would, if I was an optician, well, if I, not the optician, but I was helping someone to choose glasses, I'd really do everything I could to find them something that obviously that they liked, but that made them look the best, that brought the best out of their face.
I don't know why that's probably because I'm conscientious and care. Maybe, maybe that's what it is. I'm beginning to wish I'd bought, sort of chosen a different pair of glasses though, because there was, I quite like, um, like dark rimmed.
In fact, that's what I tried to get here, to be fair. And they didn't seem to work out. I think they were just, they're not big enough.
I need large. Why is it? I realize I'm not finishing sentences. Wasn't there a time when the lenses were bigger? Now, I don't want big, massive lenses.
You know, I'm not, it's not what I'm asking for. I don't want a lens that goes up to my hairline. Although I don't think they make glass that large, but you know, I don't want like massive, big glasses to cover up.
I want to look like an owl, like a really, really intelligent owl, which for some reason, owls seem to be portrayed, don't they? In animation things, reading a book, very wise, in charge. The wise owl, yeah, wise owl. When in fact, they're just very, very stinky.
Owls stink. They're beautiful, but oh, they're beautiful from a distance, you know, on the end of a, like a, a long range camera lens, beautiful. But as soon as you get near where they live, oh, it's proper, proper pong, full, full time pong it is.
But I'm not here to criticize owls. So I apologize. Does any owl lovers? I also love owls.
Maybe not as much as you. And maybe you should seek some help if you love them too much. But I'm not here to judge you.
I'm not. So thank you, Brooke. I will intermittently say thank you, Brooke, because that's going to be the title of this recording.
I really didn't expect that. And it's, it's great because now, I mean, potentially, I could have my glasses by the end of next week. Yeah.
And even if they're not here by next week, I have to go into town the following I don't know if it's what day it is, but the following week to have my dentist appointment where I'm having a one extraction and two fillings. The fillings are on one side of my mouth and the extractions on the other. So I don't know what I'm going to do about eating that day.
Probably just eat as much as I can before. Maybe, I don't know. So, or it's going to be a blender day.
Just blend all my food. Blend. It's a weird word, isn't it? Blend.
Because you think blending is like making stuff kind of look similar, like all blended all together, not crushing and like destroying it. Blending just sounds like much, much calmer thing, as opposed to you know, just the noise that blenders make. You know what I mean? I used to be into juicing when I was in the 90s, about 97, 98, about 98.
When I say juicing, I don't mean steroids. I mean carrots. Carrot juice was the trend.
It was supposed to be really good for your body. It tasted nice for some reason, which is weird. And it, well, I liked it.
And I think it possibly changed my skin color. Now it's supposed to change my skin color, but I'm already that color anyway. So I think it's supposed to turn you kind of pink.
And because I'm already at pink. So everyone thought I was already juicing. It's like no.
No. And I said, that's why I don't drink because I already look like I drink a lot. They laughed.
They did actually. This was like 1997. I remember my friend saying, that's the funniest thing you've ever said.
And that was after doing standup comedy for eight years, which didn't really go down particularly well with me internally. What did I think about? So yeah, I'm, I'm just kind of taken aback, to be honest. I don't want to go into town.
I'll, you know, I won't pretend that the thought of going back into town, especially after some weird stuff that happened when I was there on Monday. But, and I phoned, I actually phoned up Specsavers today. Right.
And I said, this is just before I'm speaking to you. I was probably about a half hour ago. And I said, well, can, first of all, can I pay on the phone? They said, of course you can.
No, actually, no, she, the lady said, you know, you can pay on the phone. Because I was talking about coming and getting, I said, I said, really? She said, yeah. I said, I was told I wasn't allowed to pay on the phone.
She said, oh, that doesn't sound right. I said, exactly. And then she said, unless there's NHS vouchers connected to the order.
I said, yeah, there is. Or you have to, you have to come in and pay for it then. Because we have to sign the NHS vouchers off.
I don't know why that is. Why couldn't they have got me to sign them before, you know, and then can't pay on the phone. Because it's a quite a journey.
There and back, it's, if I get the bus, sometimes it takes like a good hour and a half, two hours just to get home. Because the buses are not that regular. But, you know, I can't really complain, can I? But I phoned them up to say, to say, look, listen, can you send them to a store that's actually closer to where I live? Because there is one closer, it's just a smaller one.
And I didn't want to have my eyes tested there. Because they don't have, I don't think, they don't have the selection of glasses. They don't have the selection that, just the smaller, I wanted to go to the bigger store that I normally go to.
So that's why. But in order to pay for it, I thought, well, can't I go into there, pay for it, because it's just one bus journey. And it's not, that's about half hour on a bus.
And then if you send the glasses there, I can collect them from there as well. Because it's near, it's near my doctor's surgery. So it's not far away.
And the lady said, yeah. However, so I knew something was coming. I mean, I guess so did she, because she said, however, there's always something coming, isn't it, after however.
But I just thought, oh, what now? What now? She said, well, you can, it's not going to be the same process. If you do it there, then if you do it here, because your details are not on their system. It's a different system.
And I'm thinking it's the same company. Technically, it's the same town. It's just a distance away from each other.
I mean, this, this store's a half hour away from the other store, maybe 40 minutes. I was like, yeah, but you're the same company. I said, no, but it's a different system.
I said, what does that mean then? She said, well, one system is not the same as another system. I said, no, I know what difference means. I mean, what does it mean? What does it entail for me? How does it affect me? She said, oh, she said, well, you, you can go there.
But you'll have to go through getting the glasses and choosing the glasses again, because they won't have the glasses there that you chose. And it'll be a bit of a little bit of a faff. And I said, no, no, no, no.
After Monday, I didn't want to go through. I don't want to, no more hoops, no more, because it, if you listen to the recording, it was a lot of kind of back and forth and it got a little bit difficult. I struggled with it.
And I know everyone was doing the best and I kind of, my tolerance level was reducing and I think their tolerance level was reducing because near the end of the day, it was just getting a little bit, and then people were getting involved that didn't know what, they didn't know what we were doing. It's got a little bit more confusing I think. And apparently the battle of Waterloo was not relevant to all about the glasses that didn't for some reason.
She did say to me, are you the one that kept talking about submarines? And I said, no. She said, you sound like the bloke. I said, nope, it wasn't me.
She said, what's your name again? I said, Steve Bartholomew. She said, oh, it's not the name he gave me at the beginning of the call, is it? I said, no. She said, your name's Jason Newland, isn't it? I said, well, it's not quite how I pronounce it, but you're near, you're close.
She said, it was you talking about me, and what was it? I said, what, submarines? She said, yeah. Ah, I caught you out. I said, and the Waterloo, the war of Waterloo, was it the battle of Waterloo? I don't know.
And she said, oh, I didn't know there was one. I said, you didn't know there was a battle of Waterloo? Don't you know about Napoleon? She said, wasn't he short, and he had, always had one arm, because he was playing with one of his nipples or something. I said, no, I don't think that's why he was, I don't know now, that's weird.
I've got that visual in me now. Napoleon always, no, that's strange. Why would you say something like that? She said, because I'm just a very humorous lady, and sometimes I get bored answering the phones, because you don't realize I'm upstairs in the office.
I don't get to see anybody all day. I'm just sitting here answering the customer service. I said, really? You're not downstairs of all the other people? She said, no, there's no room.
I'm in an office. See, all that space downstairs, it's the same space upstairs as well. There's quite a few of us in there, and it's basically the whole of the country we deal with, and we've got these offices above every single spec savers.
So wherever you are in the country, you answer the phone to anyone else in the country. It's just a, it's a national customer service. So I don't just deal with local people.
I can deal with someone from Wales or someone from Scotland, or someone from Skegness. I said, that was a lot of information you just gave me there. She said, I know, I just, the weird thing about it, even though I'm on the phone all day, sometimes I just need someone to talk to.
I said, but you're talking all day long. She said, I know, that's what I was saying. Even though it sounds weird, sometimes I just need someone to talk to about something other than glasses.
Do you know what I mean? I said, yeah, to be fair, I think I do. I used to work in an insurance company, and she interrupted me and said, see, all I want you to do is talk. And you had to go on and start talking about something else.
I want to talk about me. Why are you talking about yourself? Can't you just ask me some questions, show some interest in me, apart from, you know, why talk about insurance? And I said, I was giving you an example. I was agreeing with you.
You can agree without talking about yourself, can't you? Can't you just say, yeah, hmm, make those pretend noises of interest that everyone else does? Yeah, but I am interested. What is it you're interested in? Well, I like boxing. Again, about yourself.
I'm talking about this conversation about me. What are you interested in when it comes to me? I said, I don't mean to be rude, but I don't really know you, do I? I mean, I was interested on a human level for your well-being. You know, I was trained as a counselor, you know.
She said, really? I said, yeah. She said, are you serious? I said, yeah. You don't come across as a counselor.
You don't come across very caring. And I said, well, actually, I'll have you know, I'm not a counselor anymore. I was a counselor.
I spent three years doing a degree in counseling. But, you know, after about three or four years of practice, there was no money. You know, didn't have any work.
So I had to get a job back in insurance. Well, I had to get a job and I chose insurance. I guess I can't say that I was forced to work in insurance, but that's the one I took.
I was actually, funny enough, I was offered two jobs on the same day and I chose the insurance one. Can you believe that? The other one just didn't seem like a real job, which is weird because it was. It's just, I thought better what I know than what I don't know.
Even though insurance was something that I never wanted to work in again, selling anyway. I knew selling insurance was not for me. I knew a long time ago, but I ended up going back to it sort of eight years after I left.
So, but the other job I had, because I had a job interview as well for this other place, and it was in this call center, but what the job was, was interviewing people. That would have been perfect for me. I love to chat, but I also like to be, um, I nearly said I like to be focused.
I am, I know I might not come across, okay. During the last, what have we got? Let's have a look. During the last 1,603 episodes of Let Me Boy To Sleep, I might not have come across as the most focused person.
But I actually can be, believe it or not. So, I, when it comes to working, like in the past, I could listen to phone calls, listen to a whole 50 minute, 30 minute recording, and tick, make sure that everything was supposed to, that was supposed to be said, was said in that conversation, whether it was 10 minutes long or an hour long. You need to be very focused to do that.
And I would say when I'm doing a hypnosis recording, I'm quite focused as well. Although I do fall asleep pretty much every single time these days. I did one this morning.
What was it called? Falling asleep fast, and I did fall asleep fast. Two hours I was talking for. In the end, I ended up with one hour and two minutes, or just, just nearly three minutes.
So one hour, two minutes and 57 seconds, out of about two hours and 10 minutes. That's how much time I was asleep for. It took me ages to edit.
Ages and ages and ages and ages. I kept having to go backwards and forwards and backwards. I basically re-listened to the whole thing about five times, I think.
So yeah, it took a long time to edit that one, good few hours. But it's done now. So I'd edited it, uploaded it, shared it, and I've listened to it as well as a recording, and it did send me to sleep very quickly.
It's very boring. It's really, I would say, my hypnosis recordings that I've been doing more recently are some of the best recordings that I've done for a while, in a sense of really being boring, really being sleepifying. Is that a word, sleepifying? If it wasn't, it is now.
I've invented a word. I am indeed Shakespeare. Sleepifying.
And again, thank you, Brooke, for paying for my glasses. See, I'm still going to keep coming back to it. So it just shows you I do have focus.
I am focused. Oh, by the way, it's Q&A Friday tomorrow. So please, if you haven't yet, go to my Jason Newland's Boring Group on Facebook and leave a question for Q&A Friday.
Or you could leave a question on YouTube, or you could leave a question, I think you could leave a message on my website, or you could leave a message on Instagram, TikTok, X, or you could leave, you could send a message to my email address, which is jasonnewland at hotmail. co. uk. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. so what was I saying yeah this job now I once I took the other job I kind of thought oh I wish I took the the job that I've been offered because I was basically offered two jobs on the same day I did job interviews the same week and I decided on the insurance because that was the safest bet it seemed I was wrong but it seemed like the safest route to go but this other job basically it was people from all over the country phoning up and it was the first job interview before they got invited in to actually have a job interview like in person so I was gonna be doing with a bunch of other people doing phone interviews like for companies and I did a trial with them I didn't I mean I not trial but they test me on a phone call to see what I'd be like and they said I sounded really good so they got someone I think a member of staff to pretend to be a person and or they were a person I was there to pretend to be a human they were actually human but to pretend to be a job candidate and I think at the time I thought this sounds like a weird business and it's probably because I'd been out of the job market for quite a while at that point and I left my job the previous job in 2007 and I'd been at university the whole time since then for three years and then I was working self-employed for the next three years or four years so this was to it was December 2012 that I got this job so what's that 2005 7 8 9 10 11 5 years and I still continued being a counsellor one a week for the first year and so I started counselling when I got my diploma 2009 so I started my counselling December 2009 and that was for children's charity or young people's charity and I finished counselling in 2013 so 9 10 so it's 10 so I did about four years roughly or was it 14 13 three and a half four years as a counsellor and things were going really well for a little bit the first year I was fine because I was still at university so I was just doing it part-time or one night a week I think or two nights a week and then when I left university which was 2010 I didn't really know what to do to be honest I ended up getting a little bit of work then I ended up getting a little bit more and by 2011 yeah 2011 it really picked up and I I was doing about 16 hours a week from mind so that was that was easily enough to live on so I was happy with that the first part of the year I was actually yeah I wasn't doing that all the time but and I had a part-time job to start with until August and then I got given more hours so that was good so 2012 for about half of the year it was going well I think the second half of the year not so good which is why I had to find another job because the counselling went from I said about 16 hours a week to four four hours which meant I was getting paid about a hundred if everyone turned up I was getting about a hundred pound a week which isn't you know it hasn't been a lot for a long time a hundred pound a week see yeah that that kind of that's what I was looking for like a for another job luckily the insurance allowed me to have Mondays off and to to fill the hours in elsewhere like doing Saturdays and stuff so I could have Mondays off and see four clients in on us on a Monday which was an extra hundred pound a week if they turned up so that wasn't bad but I was self-employed now I missed this mess things up for me actually I didn't realize because after by the April so this was I was doing this in December all the way to the April or was it May June I don't know it was some point and I stopped because it was too much to do that and to work as well full-time I was just struggling so I stopped everything and carried on working full-time now the following year when I put my tax returns in for my self-employment I did not include the period of time when I was working full-time in it because I just assumed I knew that because I started working full-time in the in December until so what December January February March so was it four months I was at work working full-time or something so in the April I put my tax return in for my self-employment expected not to have to pay any tax because I don't such a small amount of money Vinnie's hassling me now never mind or is he just giving me some love it's not hassling it's just showing love maybe laugh earlier because I was watching Frasier and it was the very first episode that they ever made so just keep showing it over and over again and I do prefer the earlier episodes and there's a point where Eddie was just Eddie the dog he's also Jack Russell was just staring at Frasier and I was made me laugh because that's what Vinnie was doing to me last night just staring at me and doesn't be careful banging your head on the table mate but he stares and he doesn't stop staring I look away and he's staring he'll do it for an hour do it for longer than an hour just staring the whole time oh yeah anyway the tax so I just put in my tax I wasn't trying to fiddle or anything I just I didn't think I had to include the earnings which sounds ridiculous now but you know for the self for the employment I just included everything from the self-employment well I got audited and they had the details of me working because it was on file wasn't it wasn't a hidden that's why I didn't declare it because I figured they must know and they told me that I owed two and a half thousand pounds in fact it might even be more than that I think it was two and a half thousand pound because they decided that's what I was going to be earning the following year as well self-employed and I said well firstly I'm not self-employed anymore I quit that in the April that I'm not self-employed I stopped I closed everything down in the summer what are you doing Vinnie stop it mate stop it stop misbehaving and so I just said to them because I talked to him on the phone and I said what's going on they said yeah you owe two and a half thousand because you don't ignore the tax person you know you have to do them and I said I don't have two and a half thousand pounds I'm unemployed which I was in fact I wasn't just unemployed I was at the time I was waiting for my benefits to come through so I was on like thirty pound a week or something and they said they wanted I think they wanted ninety pound a week from me well something like that because of the amount of money it was two and a half grand I think they wanted ninety was a hundred and twenty pound a week it was a huge amount of money compared to what I had and I said no they said excuse me I said I said no sir I don't have the money sir please sir because I didn't want to upset them and I said besides can I just point something out why have you why is it that much and they said well we're gonna we're charging you for the year ahead as well so you're gonna charge me for something that I've not done you're gonna charge me for money that I've not earned do you see the ridiculousness in that which is why I didn't say but is why what I actually do think just it's ridiculous charging someone tax or something they've not earned yeah that's a bit I think that is and that is the meaning of presumptuous isn't it literally and I said well I'm not earning anything next next year because I've stopped I'm no longer self-employed they said have you have you let us know I said well I I went and did it online I went to the customs house or ever and I completely dissolved my business and it's gone I've closed it it's gone it's done because I'm unwell I can't can't do it anymore and he said what you got cold of yeah I said no I would have to dissolve my business if I had a cold that'd be like a week or two off wouldn't it and then I go back he was giggling on the end of the phone I thought I was a weird and that didn't happen either and he said right well I'll just give me he put me on hold and said I'll get back to you he was gone for a little while then he came back and said okay fair enough because he argued a little bit no you got pay it I said I'm not working I'm literally I'm unemployed now I'm on the sick like I was well I've not been paid but I'm on I'm unable to work at the moment because I'm unwell and I just like was trying to explain that and he says okay so will you be going back to doing your your self-employment when you get better and I said no no because I decided at that point that I wasn't built for it unfortunately and I don't say that lightly and I don't say that of any kind of pride trust me I spent years studying and practicing and everything for being a counselor and I just it wasn't for me I wasn't the right it it made me ill actually it didn't didn't wasn't the right thing for me and so I just I said no I'm not gonna be doing it anymore I'm not and he said okay well that's lose the attitude and let's see what we can do right or we can cut it down so that we won't take any money that you owe us for next year because you're not going to be working next year is that right I said yes I said if I work it'll be just you know with tax you know with a company that I pay tax through there's no more self-employment I'm done with self-employment that's it done because one of the problems I had I had a chest infection the year before and I was off work for about two weeks it took me months to get back to to catch up with that work that I lost just like really so I couldn't believe it I was like so two weeks of not getting paid it's like what anyway where's my holiday pay you don't get holiday pay hmm so I they said so you owe 1,250 it was something like that and then they said okay well we're gonna need I think you wanted 70 pound a week I said what yeah what 70 pound a week for the next however many weeks you know I think 70 pound a week I think they wanted to get it paid off within three months or something like that and I said well I got 30 I think 36 pound a week coming in at the moment after I had to pay my landlord seven pound a week no no that's it I think I had 40 45 pound coming in and I had to pay my landlord 25 pound because they wouldn't pay the full rent for there so it was a room he wanted 75 pound a week they would only give me 50 pound a week for that room because it had a kitchen a kitchenette but no bathroom the bathroom we shared and the council insisted no unless it's got a bathroom it's not it can't be classed as even a studio apartment it has to have both a bathroom and a kitchen and he was arguing my landlord no it's it's a flat well it's not a flat if it doesn't have its own bathroom he said can't you do it out the window like everyone else it was funny but like didn't help and funny enough I did in the end so but he that's what I was trying to explain to the tax person that I didn't have enough coming in to even cover what I need so I was living on like 30 pound a week the 30 pound for I don't know something like that for 25 30 and also I jumped bills phone bills phones to things like that so I had a very small amount for about six seven months before the money come through in I think it was December November December that year 2014 yeah 2014 I think it's November and he kept saying no we need 75 pound or ever a week there's no way around it this is a legal thing I said I said but you can't I said look is there anyone else I can speak to and he didn't seem to like that he said well I'm sure there's other people you know I said no I'm talking about you know in the tax office and he said okay I'll speak to my supervisor and see what he says they'll all call you back within about a half an hour get a phone call and it's a different man this time and he's introduced himself said I realized it'd been a bit of a mix-up could you tell me I understand you owe like 1,250 whatever can you tell me what your expenditures are what you've got coming in what you've got going out and I explained it to him and I also told him that the man before me before him asked for 70 odd pounds a week and he started laughing and I thought this isn't good but then I realized he was laughing at the ridiculousness of it he said that's just preposterous and I said yeah I can't say that word either and he he said no no way in the world are you supposed to pay that so he agreed for me to pay five pound a week until it was paid off so I was paying it off for about two and a half years or something so five pound a week so one month is 20 pound and it was 1,250 how many years was that right I was literally paying 240 pound a year so two four six eight ten yeah I was paying it for about six six and a half years but it got paid off but he did say to me you make sure that it's in your bank every time and it comes out because if it doesn't that's it could cause problems I said trust me it will be in if I did I pay I might pay no I didn't pay on the phone it was a direct debit but I had this big spreadsheet you know they'd send it to me every now and then how many more years I had left to pay five pound a week couldn't argue with that couldn't argue with that so that was weird honestly that was like the longest debt I ever had I think and with it with that kind of you can't get rid of it it's with you you have to you know pay it all or else really so yeah that was a boring story but I've never told it before I don't think aren't we all very lucky I remember the first time I got glasses right this is totally true right no not the first time the second time I got glasses so I got my first glasses when I was at school when I was about 15 and I was told I had a lazy eye and I was given a patch it was a pink patch to put on my right eye and I had to follow do these x-eye exercises where I had to look at a pencil and follow it from side to side up and down around and all that stuff and do that every day I think twice a day or whatever and then wear the patch at home because he said yeah I used to wear it at home just to sort of try and get my eye kind of strengthened and then I then I just stopped doing it I just didn't like it I didn't like wearing a patch I wore it at school for a little bit and then yeah I've not all patches make you look like a pirate that's yeah that's worth knowing I mean even sticking a parrot on your shoulder doesn't necessarily make you look like a pirate it's all about context I suppose and I I'm not necessarily thinking about the local swimming club but yeah parrots and eyepatches it can come across as a bit weird but anyway I gave up on the eyepatch I wore the glasses for a little while and then I stopped because I didn't like them and I was hoping to kiss a female one day and I didn't I didn't feel that it enhanced my looks and there wasn't much to start with so I kind of just didn't feel the glasses really did me any good I mean who knows I'm I might look like Clark Kent you don't know do you I mean yeah we did we all know I didn't but and then I didn't wear glasses at all I don't think you're even more than for reading or anything until 1980 no 1990 beginning of 1990 I've got my eyes tested again and they said you don't need to wear them all the time just for reading your normal eyesight's okay I said yeah don't make sounds like that it disturbs the neighbors and why have you got that parrot on your shoulder anyway and then so I had my eye this is weird right I've got my glasses paid for them collected them all in Stratford so it wasn't a distance to travel just a walk I like here it's like so like a journey and I honestly this is true because I was living in the room just the bed wardrobe window that was my room there might be in a set of drawers I don't remember and I sat back down I sat on my glasses the very first day that I got them I sat on them because I didn't need to wear them all the time it was just for reading and I was like I can't believe I did that instead of a wonky I think I took them back to the opticians and they kind of straightened them up a bit before me come on and over time I did wear my reading glasses for at work because I found because of the lights are very bright in some of the places I worked at and I found that I needed it it just eased my eyesight my eyes a bit less eye strain and when I counseled because I counseled before I had got like but before I was wearing goggles all the time that's when I was counseling and I used to wear my glasses when I counseled I guess it was kind of I don't know maybe psychologically creating a bit of a distance between me and the client but not in a negative way just maybe I felt a bit more professional wearing glasses and it distracted them from the parrot on my shoulder I can't help it I've got to keep talking about parrots now parrot parrot parrot and I remember 1990 I've got a really nice little memory of this because I had this job very very low paid job in a factory but then the rent wasn't high either so I'd come back to the to where I was living and it was spring probably February March February time but it was some really nice weather not warm but kind of okay weather and I bought a couple of books and I used to sit on my windowsill on the outside because it was like a it's a you could sit on it like a ledge it was it wasn't dangerous or anything it was just quite it's quite handy so I just sit on there and read and the evenings weren't dark so I was getting home about four half four so the evenings must have been getting lighter by then probably getting dark by about six maybe and I just have that memory of sitting there reading my books and really feeling peaceful ever so peaceful with my glasses on and I think I don't know 100% but I think I copied the glasses that my boss was wearing so he had brown round glasses and all I got brown round glasses basically because I wanted to be like him a bit because he was a cool dude he was it might sound weird but he's very kind of you might you might you might think that this is very parrot related but it's not he just reminded me a little bit of Johnny Depp he just kind of had that youthfulness and he he didn't have a parrot on his shoulder it's not about parrots I moved on from that but he did wear an eyepatch and a hook so I wanted to be a bit like him so I got these glasses and but I mean I got the glasses because I needed the glasses but the the frames that's what I'm about and I had those for a few years so I was always wearing glasses for reading I don't remember having any eye tests during the 90s which is really weird because I must have done I mean I remember the 1990 but I couldn't have gone the whole decade with just the same pair of glasses surely not that would be ridiculous I must have got a different pair of glasses but I don't remember that's intriguing is it is it intriguing is that the right word boring intriguing I don't even the last time okay the first opticians I remember going to once I moved away from London was at the top of a hill from where I used to work in the insurance company the first insurance company and walk through up to town and then up the hill there's an opticians there and that was the first time they blew air into my eye and I didn't enjoy it I was actually walking down from the hill going back to work and one of my colleagues that said are you alright and I think he thought I was he said are you okay because my eyes were bloodshot I think he thought I must have been in the pub or something I said no it must have been a dentist, not a dentist, the opticians they blew air in my eye yeah I had the same thing done on Monday and it was like a little puff like poof nothing hardly felt it and I did say that to the optician she said yeah because your eyes are so old they want to be scaly now you don't feel so much not as sensitive as they used to be so what I don't know she was joking or not but since then I don't think I had I must have got some reading glasses so I think I wore glasses when I was at work I think looking at the screens because it was yeah proper full on because all day long looking at computer screens so I think I had some glasses for that and for reading the same glasses and then I don't remember the next time I had an eye test really thinking so if I go back from now so I had one this Monday I had one four years ago and then I had one I had one around 2003 I think the beginning of 2014 because that's when I first started wearing glasses all the time yeah that's when I first started wearing glasses all the time since it's only been for 12 years so that was 2014 four years ago 2022 ah oh no yeah so I must have had some new glasses between then because that's eight years with the same pair of glasses 14 15 67 18 19 20 20 20 it's no way I went eight years the glasses wouldn't last that long in fact I do if I remember rightly they were falling apart where did I go then I must have gone to the same spec save as what I went here to this this Monday so yeah 2014 50 607 I think I went about maybe 2018 if I remember rightly my glasses were falling apart and the screw came out and they came they did put another screw in for me and so I remember her she looked at my glasses and she said oh would you like a screw and we both like giggled a little bit because it was a very childish thing to say even though we were both adults and it was a professional environment but we kept in touch and we got married in the end had 55 children that was brilliant that was was that when I get my first actor like ones or maybe the second really trying to remember here because I probably two three four five six I would have very very much likely have gotten some new glasses before going to university or when I was so I might have gone there as well in like 2008 so I might been going there for like 18 years to the same place every I've never done it every two years but every four years probably I'm sure I'm not sure but I think once I went then I didn't need anything but I don't think no I think I made that up I think oh I think back in 2008 they said they just yeah that I just needed they might have said that I might need glasses all the time but I said no no thanks just I want to get a new just check for me eyes for reading and they said yeah but if you don't wear them all the time you might end up with problems when you're a bit older and I said no thanks just want some glasses for reading I might have been a bit like like that you know sort of dismissive and here I am 20 years later yeah I've definitely had reading glasses since I was 15 yeah something did I have two different pairs of glasses I think I did I think I had reading glasses and all the time glasses at that time but yeah my memory is the first time I got just reading glasses and nothing else was 1990 in my memory and yeah of course I sat on them as I said so since 1990 I just don't remember getting glasses ironically I do remember where the opticians was though in Stratford I don't know if it was Specsavers or was one of those other you know Vision Express or something like that but because I remember I thought it'd be funny once I'd saw my friends with me and I went in there and said I don't suppose you sell glasses do you I thought it was hilarious and I was in my 20s you know this wasn't the most wasn't the most mature person back then and some people might be thinking yeah not much has changed mate not the most mature person now which is a little bit rude a little bit rude a little bit you know I mean in it you get me swear down you know I mean yeah fam contact lenses no never ever ever ever ever never ever sorry contact lenses ain't happening no unless unless they can do a contact lens that just is permanent that doesn't take any kind of medical procedure and it's not intrusive and doesn't have to go anywhere near my eye then yeah I'll do that otherwise no you know what I've been doing and this is really weird I've started looking just through my left eye just to see how the sentences move how the some of the letters move around very strange doesn't happen with my right eye with my left eye it does I don't know so I've got this I'm looking at my Spreaker thing and it's got distribution social sharing embedded player so I'm looking at social sharing so I'm looking at it both eyes social staring sharing social sharing look at my right eye social sharing just look at it from left to right left eye okay I let my eyes get readjusted readjusted again before I do it okay now left eye only part of the fact is really blurry oh that's weird okay I can't actually see it with my left eye right just open my eyes I just want to get my eyes adjusted again because I've had my eyes closed haven't I so close my left eye so no I just can't I know what it says but when I go to the S move it along the S disappears and the H when I get to the next word sharing that's all mixed together with the social with the right hand with the right eye social sharing I'm just like go from one side to the other nothing no no problems just stays the same and it's blurry as well on my left eye how strange just to have such a difference in eyes because I'm sure never used well I guess it did used to be like that because I was told I had a lazy eye at 15 but I thought a lazy eyes when you was you know looking at two different things so it's what I thought a lazy eye was so I was a little bit self-conscious of it I've been a little bit self-conscious since I was 15 one wondering if I am looking in a different direction a little bit with my left eye to my right eye but no one said anything and they're just being the thing is I've been in situations where not everybody's been gentle you know I would have oh come on my brothers would have said something wouldn't they I had two older brothers even well even even my younger brother as soon as he got old enough to talk he probably would be making fun of my eye although this is quite funny when I was 15 so how old would he be he was eight years younger than me say what is he three and I would I'd come home so I'd be sitting on the living room you know in the settee on the settee brother and I had my glasses my new glasses on I'm a little brother who was what seven he'd come up to me and he's put his his fingers in a circle each one but little like he was looking through binoculars and they put it up to his put his his his hands up to his eyes like he was looking through binoculars and his squint his face and he say who am I who am I who do you think I am he found it hilarious and this was like a tiny little kid making fun of me me me I mean you know it's not something to laugh at is it he thought it was I mean I don't want really massive screens you know but it kind of sometimes I think it'd be nice to have it so I don't have to kind of I can have it so it covers because it it goes up to my eyebrows these glasses here my eyebrows are above the glasses and it goes down to like I suppose my nostrils kind of area my cheekbones on the bottom so not like big but sometimes I feel it'd be quite nice to just have them so I could just I don't know not have to move my head it might just be laziness I just don't want to move my head is that lazy I don't know you tell me I'm not an expert on laziness maybe I am but again I want to say thank you to Brooke for paying for my glasses really it was that's a beautiful gift it's a beautiful thing and I'm really grateful just thank you Vinnie knows I'm coming to the end of the recording because he's starting to get ready to go out for a walk he's stretching his legs what we'll do next he will jump down and start drinking some water or he'll scratch this Vinnie hey hey stop it when you go for a walk in a second okay go for a walk so what he does normally is he jumps down and drinks as much water as he can so he can do as many wheeze as he can when he's out go for a walk okay go drink some water otherwise I'm gonna look silly no he's not he's at my feet now so I'm gonna go thank you very much for listening remember to be kind to yourself also remember tomorrow is Q&A Friday Friday so remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy be gentle with yourself you deserve to feel safe lots of love bye
Paragraph spacing and recurring name or title errors have been tidied. Because this began as a voice transcription, an occasional word or piece of punctuation may still be incorrect.