I had to leave Vinnie on his own | #1614 Let Me Bore You To Sleep | Overnight Voice Only | Jason Newland

Hello and hello and and and welcome to let me bore you to sleep. This is kind of part two really to an early recording I did earlier earlier um what did I call it emergency dentist appointment for sleep well so basically I don't know if that's the best title for a sleep recording really is it having the word dentist in the title so after I finished the recording I actually was just uploading the stuff so I'd done the editing in uploaded and was just literally on the very last recording posting the image when the telephone call came telling me that my taxi was here it got here very quickly and here's the ironic bit because it's the reverse of later on so I'm all ready I've had a shower washed my bald head and Vinnie wasn't enjoying the fact that I was getting ready because he I think he got the vibe I heard him like talking to himself like daddy doesn't normally wash it's like rude anyway as I was getting dressed and I wear different clothes when I go when I leave my little area I don't wear the scruffy clothes I wear when I'm like walking around with him I'm still not dressed smartly but they're just they're my less scruffy clothes so I'm all ready pretty much to go and I'm just doing it to the finishing touches of the old website and the phone goes and I okay and Vinnie loses his mind knowing that I'm going out and I put him into the living room he's already in the living room make sure he's in here close the door and he's screaming oh it's hard it's really hard and I'm thinking what if he's got his his um fingernail cut in the I'm caught in the carpet or something or as I've closed the door it's jammed his foot or so you know I thought so I opened the door again and none of that was true he was just wanted me to come back so I just started like getting I closed the door and he was screaming even my neighbor called me up no I called her but she said did you go out because Vinnie's screaming howling he was apparently so um I had no one to look after him but my neighbor downstairs said if I'd let her know she could have come and looked after him kind of took him for a walk and stuff and made sure he was okay but I didn't even think about that because he loves he loves her downstairs he absolutely adores her don't you Vin he's got a real thing for women just like his daddy yeah so I'm going that was loud isn't it so I I get in the taxi pretty much got what I need um I found the taxi probably I don't know what time it was but I got to the destination at 20 past one and the appointment was two o'clock at the dentist and so I had 40 minutes to kind of waste but at the same time it wasn't really enough time to go and do anything not that I wanted to go and do anything I just wanted to get limb and pain reduced so I thought I'll just go and sit in the dentist because it started to like rain a little bit I didn't have a coat on because I figured I'd just get out of the taxi go into the dentist and then get out of the dentist and get into a taxi that was kind of my plan it didn't work like that and the door was closed it was locked so they were on lunch between one and two so I just went for a wander it's very strange because I made a phone call I found a friend a really really good friend of mine that I haven't seen recently but it's very very good friend someone that um I really care about deeply actually and he looked out for me and when I was going through all my kind of panic and anxiety time he you know I lived with him I worked with him twice as well two different places at the evolution shops and he really took time to sort of be there to support me which I'll always remember I mean I'll never forget that he's a really good bloke I was a bridesman bridesgroom groomsman I was a groomsman at his wedding and so I phoned him up because I've got a spare bit of spare time that's not really the time to phone people up is it just because I've got a bit of spare time but I need to rethink those things I think I called him up and he actually phoned me a couple of months ago to meet up and I booked you know booked a thing and then I cancelled because I couldn't face going out well he said to me when's the last time we spoke to each other when's the last time you saw each other I said well we were supposed to see each other a couple of months ago I said I can't remember why he said well I just want to know whether or not you know the news I said what and I'm thinking oh what news I didn't know if he was getting married again if he'd met someone I don't know pregnant who knows and he said that and I'm not going to say the name of the person so I'm not giving this is private stuff but I'm not going to give his name and no one's going to know who he is anyway but he's got a serious illness I'm not going to say what the illness is but it's very serious illness and I was like what and I was in shock it's really weird it's just something about being on the phone it doesn't feel right being on the phone to hear stuff like that and he's only a few years older than me he's like early 60s and his attitude is well you know he's very I think quite positive also accepting he's a practicing buddhist been a buddhist for 30 odd years so you know all those years of meditation has kind of calmed his mind and he's meditated on certain things that he's kind of prepared to deal with I guess you know in the future but I'm being vague with my talk here but um honestly broke my heart I couldn't believe I was just uh so I'm seeing him this week we're gonna go for a coffee this week he's backing forward to hospital at the moment the rest of the week but I see them on Thursday and you know I said to him look anything I can do to help just let me know you know he knows where I live he can come and see me and it's just I'm not I'm not always the best person I'm not very good at keeping in contact with people it doesn't mean I don't care it's just I just you know I know everyone's got their own lives and people have got families kids jobs they've got a lot going on and I've kind of got not much going on other than this and maybe trying to help people um but yeah it was like wow so he went because he was he was actually working so he was home working from home said okay um I'll see you Thursday and I called my stepmom up because I thought I need to talk to someone I need to speak to someone about this so I called my stepmum up and um I start crying on the phone I'm not a crier I mean okay enough enough wax stripping on my nipples I'll probably cry but I'm not a crier that's bad isn't it I'm not a crier I don't cry and I'm bad cry when I cry I'm like it's it's awful sound honestly it's worse than it must be worse a worse sound than it was for my neighbors when I used to play the violin at 10 years old it's even worse than that in fact it's worse than the sound they made because they'd be crying a lot when I was playing and I was in the street I mean I was I was off the street in like a car park area but I just broke down I was like it's just hit me and I guess it's just it's more it's more of the same in the sense of what's been like every every few months something else kind of comes another person or whatever um and yeah just really hit me I was like um she was great and then that was done and then I sort of thanked her and I have to blow my nose I'm getting emotional this isn't supposed I'm trying to go to sleep stop being emotional I just blew my nose right and Vinny jumped up like a cannonball just come through the window like Vinny it's just this it's just a blowy nose anyway um so that was a thing like oh my goodness went into the dentist had to wait till two o'clock on the dot that's what my appointment was but there was a queue of people outside waiting so I kind of knocked on the door and the receptors came and opened the door so what I did I went in first but then I let the people go ahead of me and they were like why are you doing that I said because you were waiting before me you were outside waiting I just just turned up and I think they were kind of surprised I was being nice I don't know considerate anyway so we did that so I'm waiting they say what's your name I said oh it's Jasson Newland they said hello Jasson and I'm waiting there probably about seven eight minutes ten minutes maybe I wasn't in a hurry I wanted it to be done but at the same time I kind of figured it wasn't going to be the most pleasant experience it weren't as bad as I thought it was going to be but it was oh yeah because they basically I went in there I said hello again she said hello she said hey I said you're right he said yeah she said you I said no I'm in a dentist I'm walking towards a dentist room of course I'm not okay Vinnie hasn't stopped eating seriously he's so greedy lately I think it's because he's got no treats so he's having to rely on food he had double portions food earlier like two packs of meat and he's only tiny he's not supposed to be eating that much maybe he's pregnant he's eating for two so yeah so I go into the dentist said hello to the dentist she said I said you remember me she said yeah I said I didn't know because I'm bored now she said yeah I don't think she was too interested to be honest and when I said you remember me she said yeah you had your tooth out and she basically just gave me details of what I'd had done last time so she remembered my mouth which I never expected anyone to remember do you imagine that being the one thing people remember you for oh sitting around at the awake yeah I remember Jason's mouth and with that tooth he had out oh that was one a hell of a gap wasn't it you know he had to have two lots of penicillin you know that oh really yeah he cried in the car park you know anyway I saw I'm sitting in a chair the chair goes way low I'm really flat it's like I don't remember dentists chairs going that far down and I explained to her like you know basically how it's been and that I've been waiting for the emergency appointments for three days that didn't seem to affect her and I thought well I'm not getting any sympathy here anyway she had a look at it she cleaned it out she basically just cleaned it up and it yeah it did hurt a bit but then she put something in it compacted it with something that smelled minty my dad actually just put a polo in there or something I don't know crushed up polo and pretty much I'd say the physical sensations reduced fairly you know by the time I left the the room it started to reduce and she gave me some a prescription for penicillin for five days and so I went to the the pharmacy up the end of the road where I was in town so I'm walking up to the pharmacy I go in there and go on take it Vinnie go away then he's so weird oh he wants me to give him a chicken nugget but he won't take it so yeah I walk up to the pharmacy so I've got my prescription I want to get some ibuprofen but I said what's the difference with the ibuprofen and the norephine because last week I went in there got ibuprofen or Wednesday rather she remembered me I think well I asked her she did and she nodded mind you her face she nodded yes but her face like looked a bit confused maybe it's because I don't have any hair now or maybe she just recognized my mouth and then I said what's the difference in the ibuprofen and it's they give the like the the cheap ones they don't have like an expensive one or the norephine which are expensive like 15 quid for 48 tablets or something is was it 48 she said I'll come here no 32 tablets 14.

99 she said the norephine plus are much better because they've also got caffeine in them as well so they're actually much stronger and they're better for pain relief so I thought I'm not cutting no corners this time just go for the strongest ones I can get and then I you know put the penicillin that was 16 pound or something and then the the the pharmacist came from around the counter the other pharmacist who was actually doing it not the the counter person he said uh are you sure I'm sure he told I'm sure he said to me are you sure that's your address I said oh is that the right address I said yeah that's where I live I'm rereading it just to make sure it's correct he said oh I was like that was a weird question so I said well why why are you asking that he said no so I went and sat down for a bit then I got up and said wait can I ask you why are you asking me if that's my address have you got me down as a different address and he said yes and I'm thinking well who'd want to steal my identity let's be honest there'll be no point in that and he said I said well I gave him one address in town I told him an area that I used to live and he said oh that one that second one I said well that was like 14 when I left there in 2011 so that's 15 years ago and I thought that's weird I know that like when I move out of places I'm still getting letters I guess and they'd have information bank statements possibly so maybe they can to a degree kind of get information about me but who'd want to what would be the point there'd be no yeah there'd be nothing no reason for it so I thought that was weird the way it's like I don't remember ever going I've been into that that pharmacy before in the past but it was never my regular go-to pharmacist unless and Vinnie unless I had a similar situation to this having gone to a dentist in that road because it seems to be a road of dentists and maybe gone to that pharmacist for um but I don't remember ever having had issues with my teeth before we ever had to have uh penicillin or antibiotics but I might be wrong I don't remember everything that's happened so yeah so I did that I'm thinking while I'm waiting for the medication to be sorted out I'll just phone for the taxi because at this time I mean I was I was out of the dentist within about less than 10 minutes and I'm thinking now I'll wait until I get the prescription because I don't want the taxi having to wait in that you know little did I know so once I got my prescription I phoned for a taxi it's going to be 20 minutes I phoned them at 20 at half past two they arrive an hour later more than an hour later about an hour and three minutes and in that time I phoned the taxi twice it kept going to answer machine they've got a weird answer machine hello Jason we understand you booked a taxi you're like wow that's okay for me but what about people that don't have the name Jason that's gotta be freaky and uh in the end I managed to get through to a human who answered and I said I ordered a taxi at half past two it's now 20 past three yeah 20 past three and they said yeah it's busy I said I know but you said 20 minutes if it was going to be this long I could have made you know alternative arrangements when I could have walked from during that time I could have walked halfway there and just caught a bus so instead of paying 20 pound I could have done it for free but I didn't want to do a bus because I want to just get home and get get on with the medication you know just get things going and also I was tired um Vinny's staring at me he's literally he's standing right on the edge of the sofa staring right at me his tail's waggling I think maybe he knows I'm talking about him I wonder if I just nope he's gonna start making some sounds in a minute so I'm waiting for ages and ages and ages and ages and ages and it's raining a little bit a little bit there a little bit here just as the car pulls up literally just as I open the door to get in it starts to rain properly so get a taxi back it was interesting conversation we just talked about um subscriptions for things like mobile phones and broadband and insurance and stuff and might not be interesting to everyone but I got back and I got back and I was before that I did phone my neighbour downstairs to see whether or not our boyfriend would collect my prescription tomorrow I mean I could have technically collected it on the way but I didn't want to get stuck in traffic because this was like peak time traffic time you know with all the kind of the kids traveling home and I thought oh plus every bus that went past was like jam-packed full so I wouldn't have even got on a bus probably if I tried not because of my size but because it was busy though you know because they were full stop being judgmental towards my size and my big fat belly anyway I get home probably before four o'clock it's gonna be yeah I reckon before four by four at least anyway and Vinny's excited to see me and I think okay I just better just take him out so I took him out to the park I was so hungry I hadn't eaten for a long time but hours and hours and hours and hours all I've had is like sips of water really and so I took him out and then I got back and I had a bowl of breakfast cereal a cup of lukewarm tea because I've stopped drinking anything hot or anything you know since Wednesday and I'll continue to do that until you know my mouth's back to normal if it ever was normal and took the first of the old penicillin tablets I've had three now so there hasn't been it's only been yeah I mean technically I should have spread them out more but I just wanted to get them into my system you know so the last one was about an hour ago it's now half ten and then tomorrow I'll just have them spread out a bit more during the day and I hope I hope I hope hope hope hope that tomorrow because the it's kind of come back a bit if I'm honest it's nowhere it's not how it was but it's still you know this needs to heal and hopefully the antibiotics will be able to help with that and yeah just thinking how long it took before one of the two fake so I had the abscess it took a couple of days before it started to feel better or day or maybe a day this started to reduce and gradually only a few days and it was fine pretty much so I'm hoping that's what's gonna happen this time because the relief will be so amazing I already I felt the relief already but and it's just I still got like the the aftermath of six days of just having this you know so it'd be nice for it to kind of get back to normal so I'm hoping I'm not tired now because I had to have a little nap earlier I want to go to bed and I wake up in the morning that it will be I just feel a bit more relaxed in my face until I walk into the bathroom and see my face in the mirror that never relaxes me makes you jump you know I talk about that and some people think that everything I say is just like silly and some people I don't know I just made up if might not be true but I've talked about walking into my bathroom because a mirror on the left and sometimes I make myself jump because I forget how old I am well my neighbor did the same thing she walked in there she made herself jump I'm not saying it's because she didn't know how old she was but she didn't know there was a mirror in there and she thought there was someone else in there well it's just like she didn't you know but it just made a jump so it's not only me it's nice to know what else I think I just made the weirdest noise I've got tomorrow and Wednesday my plan for both of those days is to stay in and rest take my medication relax and just let the healing happen I've been out today maybe make a recording you know each day and in Thursday go and see my friend I don't know what's happening Friday but that is the plan I'm not going anywhere not doing anything just gonna stay indoors take him out obviously but other than that I'm just gonna stay in watch a bit TV maybe do a bit of website work just let the healing begin yeah now relax this is a this is a weird recording isn't it really very strange and then I get a phone call from another friend well I get a text from another friend saying can you chat and I don't know why I made that sound can you chat she didn't say that so can you chat well she didn't say anything it was a text and she's going through a difficult time and so I'm thinking I don't know if I can deal with this but then I thought yeah I need to you know it's no point saying I'm gonna be there if I'm not is there so I gave her a call and we had a chat it wasn't um I thought it's gonna be something super serious but it was serious but not like you know huge as it were and we did have a laugh as well so basically what I did which I don't normally do I ordered a McDonald's because I needed something to eat that was soft that I could eat on one side of my mouth but at the same time I also needed to eat something I needed some comfort food and I probably do eat McDonald's maybe once a year if that I really don't I never go in there and generally I don't get deliveries because they get end up they're not even warm when they get here sometimes but today it was okay and I got some chicken nuggets for Vinnie so I ordered that spoke to my friend on the phone arranged for her to come and see me in a couple of weeks so I can help her with something and then the delivery came so I ate that I can't believe how hungry I was because I spent a lot of this week just eating cereal really soft things just to kind of so I wasn't I just wanted to keep as far away from that part of the mouth as possible you know as well I could if I could get the sentences out and the first few days or the first couple of days because I had a feeling in one of the teeth on the right hand side I was trying to eat just in the middle like that now the fillings it feels pretty firm so I'm feel safe with that now but because I just wasn't in the mood for cooking or to do anything really so today got a takeaway it's nice actually I really enjoyed eating it and I'm not really a McDonald's fan to be honest I used to love it when I was younger but it's not my go-to place but I just like yeah really it did the trick it hit the right place as it were but I feel a little bit a little bit rushed rushed to eat it because there's only you know it would be cold within about 10 minutes so I have to kind of like trying to I wasn't stuffing it in the weird thing about it I put it on the side Vinnie was sitting on the say sniffing the bags and I said move away they growled at me he growled at me now I know he thinks he's the boss but I don't like it when he growls at me and he does it quite a bit you know more recently is when I try and get him off the bed to come in here it just doesn't like doing anything he doesn't want to do and I do find it quite funny but at the same time isn't he supposed to do what I tell him but he doesn't he does the opposite to what I tell him most of the time I've never known a dog to have less interest in I don't know pleasing me do you know that kind of neediness that some dogs have where they literally just need you to be with them or need to be with the whole time he's not like that except when I try and go out then he turns into that so it's almost like he's pretending that he doesn't care if I'm here here or not but as soon as I look like I'm about to leave the flat even just putting the rubbish out and I'm gone for 30 seconds he can't stand it doesn't like being left alone do you it's almost like you care about me Vinnie but you won't admit it will you no you won't I love his little eyebrows you're the cutest it's really with his little eyes got little brown eyes just or big brown eyes when he's um I don't know why this makes me laugh the way he can just stare and stare and stare without he does blink a little bit he's just like just staring right at me I don't know honestly I'm not sure what it is he wants what is it you want Vinnie and then he's gonna start turn his head from side to side to be all cute I don't need to do the old salt mouthwash anymore which is good that was it doesn't taste nice and we're not supposed to drink salty water are we so I wasn't drinking it but just like so I'm so looking forward to tomorrow when I wake up and it's like oh this is nice it feels so much better and then Wednesday when I wake up like I can hardly feel a thing it's like pretty gone yep that'll be good then Thursday I'll just be tap dancing that's me tap dancing I'm a little behind on what's going on in the news today cuz I've not really watched much telly and tried to watch a bit of Netflix and stuff but I just couldn't couldn't be interested to be honest didn't find I have those days when I just like I'm looking for something to watch and I can't find anything that even grabs it's just the mildest bit of interest so I'm gonna go to bed in a minute I'll take Vinnie in the garden he'll do a wee wee maybe a poo the amount of food he's had he might have to do a big poo and then I'm gonna probably go to bed I mean maybe I'll yeah I'll just go to bed also make sure that my stomach's emptied not emptied but like digested not my stomach's digested but the food I ate I'm not sure when it arrived I still feel fairly full to be honest let me have a look 20 past 8 it's now half past 10 so yeah I'll be all digested by now won't I yeah well when I fall in love I've been a lot of activity here today since I've been all out people coming and going that big fat bald man oh he looks so tiny on the screen right that's me this is basically an update on today and yeah well that's it so I'm gonna go thank you for listening remember to be kind to yourself because you do deserve to be happy and be gentle with yourself you deserve to feel safe lots of love bye