(Long Voice Only) New RADS | #1645 Let Me Bore You To Sleep

Hello, welcome to Let Me Bore You To Sleep. My name's Jason Newland. Dooland? Newland? Sounds like do-land doesn't it when I talk like this.

My name is Jason Dooland. And please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. So I'm recording this on Thursday the 9th of July.

It's 3.45 in the afternoon. It's hot. It's been hot all day.

But in order to make this recording, I've had to close the window and draw the curtains across to block out any kind of air. Hopefully block out the sound from outside. But there is music being played downstairs.

I don't think the microphone already picked much of that up. So, I can't... Wow! I wasn't yawning before I started this recording. I can't guarantee no background sound, unfortunately.

And about 10 minutes ago there was a kid screaming in the garden and dogs been barking constantly on and off all day. For about 6 months. So yeah.

If any barks, I'll edit that out. But I'm just letting you know to start with. So yeah.

It's not any... Oh wow! There's not a huge amount I can do about it. I've done what I can. I've put double curtains up now.

Double soundproof curtains. Closed the window. Which... Is not ideal.

I mean the curtains I suppose can block out the sunlight. Could maybe make it cooler. But to have no air coming in is not great.

Ideally, I need the door open. And then the bathroom door open. And then maybe the window open to let some air circulate.

But if I do that... Every time... Anyone even touches the outside of the building. Vinnie barks. Any time someone comes into the building.

Wow! There's like an instant... Burst of adrenaline in him. And if it's a neighbour. He gets very, very excited.

So... I can't... I can't remember the last time I made a recording. And let me boys asleep. I think it was yesterday.

I genuinely don't remember. And... I should remember, shouldn't I? Let's open my laptop and have a look. Mind you, I have made a lot of recordings.

You could argue that I'm overdoing it a little bit. But that's okay. Why would you want to argue that? Yeah, but... I don't normally do this much.

Dot door Billy. What's the date today? It's the 9th. I've got so much to tell you.

Next week... Right? I have... Let's have a look. Next week I've got a doctor's appointment for my arthritis. So that's... Yeah, I've got that.

Then... If I take these glasses off maybe I'll be able to read. You know what? My reading glasses are still in the case over there. And the case... Horrible case.

It's made of this fabric that makes my skin literally itch and I don't know what it is. Oh, I can't stand the feeling of it. But at the same time, I don't really want to leave my glasses out.

Because I don't use the reading glasses very often. At the moment, I will do. Once I start using my brain again and reading.

But I've been spending most of my time making podcasts. That's really weird. Oh, OK.

Right. Yeah. So... Also next week, I have... Did I mention to you that I've got my kitchen being refitted? And... The company is coming next week to have a look at the kitchen and to do a design.

So yeah. So they're going to do a design. So I'm going to choose, I suppose, what counters I want and stuff.

I don't know. I've never had a kitchen design before. If my dad was a little bit closer, I'd probably ask him to come and be here.

Because he's... I mean, he's built kitchens. He's just really good at all that stuff. But I probably don't really need him as far as... Because it's a practical thing that I'm not going to be doing myself anyway.

And if I was getting a flat pack and I was building it myself, I wouldn't be building it myself. No. But you know, when I had my carpet put in, when I first moved in, my dad measured up for the carpet for the flat.

Now, technically, that's probably an easy thing to do. But I wouldn't... I just... No. My brain freezes with stuff like that.

So that was good. I actually went back to the same store a couple of years ago to see whether or not... Because I need a new carpet. Andre destroyed this carpet pretty much quite quickly when he moved in.

And... Between me and Vinnie, the rest is done. The carpet's no good. It's still there.

You can see it. It's still officially a carpet. But it was... Here's a situation I had.

I'm not moaning. I'm trying not to moan. But... At the time, when I moved in here, it was quite an expensive thing to do because I had to buy... Because I was on benefits when I first moved in as well.

So I had to purchase a washing machine, cooker, fridge, sofa, bed. I think the washing machine was about $350. The bed was about $350.

So there's a lot of money going out. And... I think my dad paid the deposit for the carpet. And I paid him back.

But he paid the deposit. And then I paid the rest on the day that they came. So basically, I think... Or did he pay for the whole of the carpet? And I paid the carpet.

But he paid a little bit. Some money anyway. Because I didn't have any.

At the time, until the carpet was actually delivered and fitted. So when we were looking at the carpet, he was quite interested in offcuts. I didn't even know what that meant.

But then, I wanted to get a really, really good carpet. Which would have cost a lot more money than this carpet. It wasn't about spending a lot of money.

It was about, for me, this is going to be potentially a one-off purchase. I didn't know that Andre and Vinnie were going to be entering my life and I would have it no other way. But at the time, I thought it would just be me on my own in here.

And the carpet would last for a long, long time. And also, I wanted it to be as sound-proof as possible for the flat because of me making recordings. But I didn't get that with this carpet.

It's as thin as anything. It looked nice when I first moved, but when I first put it in, I had no furniture really to talk of. I had a bed and a side cabinet and a desk and two chairs and a television.

I think that's all I had. Maybe a sofa. So that's kind of all I had in a way of belongings really.

I didn't have anything really. So when they came to fit the carpet, there wasn't much maneuvering around, moving stuff or anything like that. Now, even though I haven't really got much stuff, there will be more moving of things than there was then.

So I've got two desks in here. What's that in my ear? Oh, that's weird. I don't know what it is.

So, oh, sorry, it's just a pigeon. So I wanted to put in really as thick a carpet as possible even if it meant, ideally, I'm just looking at the skirting boards, as high up to the skirting board as it can possibly be where it doesn't affect the radiators. So a good few inches higher.

And then if I had to, I'd just make the doors shorter. I'd shave off something from the bottom of the... Shave, shave, shave, shave, take part of the door off at the bottom. However, it didn't happen.

And then when I went in there a few years ago, to see about maybe getting a new carpet, because I'm sure they had a payment plan available. And I said, you should still have my measurements. And they said, no, we don't.

I said, why not? He said, well, I don't know who you are. I said, oh, OK. I'm a customer.

I had a carpet from you in 2015. He said, oh. But who are you? I said, OK.

I told him my name. He looked it into the computer. And he said, oh, sorry, you're not on here.

I said, what do you mean? He said, well, you're not on the system. I said, but I did get a carpet. He said, I'm not saying you didn't get a carpet, but we don't keep all the names of all the customers on the system forever.

It's not really forever though, is it? It's only like seven or eight years. And he said, well, that's quite a long time. I said, well, yeah, it's a long time if you're standing on one leg and trying to balance an egg on a spoon or on the top of your nose or something.

Yeah, it's a long time if you're just trying to make one Easter egg last the whole time. Yeah, it's a long time, but don't people buy stuff, you know, like a carpet, maybe come and buy something else from you as well? Because I got my bed from you. He said, did you? I said, yeah.

He said, well, how is getting your bed from us going to help us with your carpet measurements? I said, I just, I don't know, I figured you just have my information on the computer system, which would then bring up the carpet measurements and everything, as well as the fact that I bought furniture from you. And he said, no, sorry. And I said, it's alright, it's fine.

And he said, do you know what the measurements are? I said, no, of course I don't. If I knew what the measurements were, I wouldn't be asking if you had the measurements. What would be the point of that conversation? If I just come in with the measurements on a piece of paper and asking you, do you have the measurements? And if you said yes, what am I going to do? Say, yeah, me too.

I've got them as well. That's nice, isn't it? Shall we be best friends forever and ever and ever? Anyway, he said no to that one. And I just left.

I thought, but I did like their service. I mean, you know, genuinely, the first time I met them, I think it was Carpets City, Carpets for You, Carpets for Us, something Carpets. I mean, it's good that I have the name Carpets in the title because it just makes it a little bit easier, doesn't it? When you're looking around and thinking Carpets, Carpets.

Because otherwise, you know, I'll end up walking Argos, which is embarrassing. You should try and get carpet measurements in Argos. It just doesn't work.

What's Argos? I don't live in the UK. I don't know what Argos is. How do I describe Argos? It used to be like a joke shop.

Used to be, not now, but it used to be it was a gamble. In the 80s, it was a gamble. Maybe even in the 90s.

For me, it was always a gamble. A bit like when you go into the West End in London and you get a big huge crowd of people standing in the doorway of a shop and there's someone selling a box. Like a blind sells, you know, the person is blind, but they're basically asking you to pay £100 for this box.

It might have something really good in it. It might not. And that's what Argos used to be like.

It's a catalogue shop, so you go in there they don't sell catalogues. And you'd see a picture of something in the catalogue. In the later years, it was like on a computer system, like being on the internet, really, just a website.

You choose what you want, look at the description and everything and I loved Argos. And you just order it and then they'd have it in store. It's amazing, I don't know, the storage room must have been huge unless they were actually building the stuff.

But they're very quick. Now we know what centres helpers do the rest of the year, I guess. But he used to be... I mean, it's not even a lie.

Well, it's kind of a lie. It's partially misremembered memory, but I remember that the queue for people returning stuff, they literally have a sign on bringing back your crap stuff that didn't work line. That was a sign.

And that queue would be a lot longer than the people waiting to buy stuff. And I had to go back. It's probably like one out of three times you'd have to go back.

They give you another thing, they give you a replacement. But it was never... I mean, to be honest, I never purchased anything of high value. So maybe that was the difference.

If I'd gone and bought a television, it might have been really, really good. But I was buying things like tape recorders to record my voice. I've been recording my voice for a long time.

This isn't a new thing. It's not a new thing because I've been doing it for 20 years. But it's not a new thing.

I've been recording my voice since I was early teens. I used to do silly voices and radio shows and write songs. Thanks Vinnie.

He's hunting the fly. And I used to do all kinds of weird stuff. Poetry.

Yeah, I used to record my voice. If I had all those old recordings it would be very funny to listen to them. Because there would be hundreds and hundreds of tapes of me talking.

But I didn't. They all just got chucked out over the years. Imagine being able to hear yourself talking in a really high pitched voice.

That tape would have been from like five years ago. Vinnie, do you have to make as much noise as you are? So far so good though with the heat. It hasn't been awful yet.

Yesterday it was incredibly like an inferno. It was ridiculous. And I had to end up opening the window and the curtain and just editing out all the sound as it came.

Stop talking while the sound was on and then go back to talking again. So far it's been okay. I mean the plan for me is at five o'clock I'm going to take the little one out and we're going to go to the park.

Because he hasn't been out yet today. He's been in the garden but he hasn't been out to the park today because of the heat. I didn't want to take him out in the heat because it just seemed particularly hot today.

Like really really hot and he doesn't he likes going out but he's not a big fan of the heat. He loves to sunbathe when he's indoors but it's a different kind of it's just the sun especially in the winter or springtime autumn. He likes to sit in the sun because it's nice but when he's not a big fan of the heat if that makes sense.

It's just a bit stuffy although I've got my top off by the way don't get excited and that's why I don't want visitors because I'm going to have to get dressed to answer the door. And now I'm just moaning again. I was talking to a friend yesterday or the day before and she went on to put it on to camera mode so she could see me I didn't even know you were able to do that.

I mean she's got an iPhone, I've got an iPhone but I thought it had to you had to give permission for that to happen that they would send like do you accept to go on to you know whatever they call it screen time it you know it's on video live call nothing came through suddenly I was seeing my face on the screen then her face and I pushed it back so I could see my face again but it's like no out of order especially as when I make phone calls I don't get dressed up you know I don't know if anyone else does I don't wear a tuxedo sometimes I don't have anything on I mean depends how hot it is I don't expect someone really I didn't know anyone could do that if she does it again I've told her off not to do it again she did apologise she did find it funny bless her and it is the first time she's ever done it but like it's different if I was in a relationship with someone then I guess it's different you know but I don't do face calls I don't do face calls with anybody ever that was Vinnie again hunting the fly you'll catch it one day girl yes you will so yeah I'm not big on the whole I don't like talking because if anything else like I don't want to have to hold my hand up because normally I have it down I have it on a loud speaker I'll have it down on the table or I might just hold it down kind of below my head which gives a very unflattering image of me and my 17 chins you know a big fat face it's not good I want to be able to if I'm going to do a face live face thing I'll have the camera set up like away from me but then they probably won't be able to hear me because see you can hear in the background like scratching around and jumping it's alright Vinnie carry on it's fine you're a good good boy he's a when I make a hypnosis recording he'd be asleep and I'd like okay which he usually does end up asleep when I do any recording he ends up usually asleep at my foot and the thing is he does this when I make hypnosis recordings he'll be fast asleep and suddenly he'll just jump up and try and catch a fly or just you know I'm talking about you don't you give me cuddles do you want a cuddle you're so cute shut up now he's focusing on the fly again I'm not getting your full attention am I nope yeah FaceTime that's it FaceTime is not my friend it's I remember I had met someone online once it was kind of a blind date thing but it was online and we spoke talking on the phone for a while and this is in the days where telephone mobile phones didn't have cameras generally some did some didn't my one didn't and she sent a picture of herself said I want a picture of you so I went and bought a camera phone this is a long long time ago and I sent her a picture of me and I never heard from her again I don't know what happened but I reckon that phone must have been faulty and it must have deleted it must have done something to disrupted the picture or something I don't know very weird or affected her memory so she forgot all about me yeah there was another I shouldn't tell you this there's more to that story but there was someone that used to listen to me no I can't tell you this because it's bad no I won't there's someone no no I have told this story before you'll have to find it amongst my sixteen hundred thousand recordings how many recordings have I done so far to let me boy to sleep now anyone anyone anyone anyone anyone I don't know when's the last time I did one was it yesterday be it yesterday I don't know no it was Wednesday doctor's appointment that's it it was called doctor's appointment one thousand six hundred and forty four why did I think I did one yesterday oh no I didn't do one yesterday because I didn't feel well but I remember talking about it are you sure I didn't do one yesterday seriously I kind of remember talking about just a little bit about what happened but I couldn't have done because unless it was it wasn't yesterday maybe it was the day before that it happened which brings me to the idea of like what happened yesterday and I went to the doctor's on Monday no Tuesday Monday it was Monday I went to the doctor's on Monday and Tuesday I did the recording Wednesday Thursday Thursday so it wasn't Wednesday it was Tuesday I did the doctor's appointment recording so I've got to go back to the doctors to see the nurse about the arthritis I just want to get a little bit more clarity about the whole thing and also I can't I do have a shower in my bath like an attachment shower you know where you just turn on the taps to get it to the temperature and everything but I can't get my leg over yeah I know I feel we had this conversation before didn't we so I can't get my leg over safely without just without it hurting so it's you know I need to ask speak to the nurse and then see whether or not I can get a letter I can get the council to put in a wet room or something into my flat whether or not they'll do that for an upstairs flat I don't know I don't know because I imagine a lot of people wouldn't want a wet room especially if someone moved in there and they were like 20 or 25 they might actually want a bath I can't fit in the bath so there's no point I literally can't the bath is one of those weird things so I'll fill it half way and I got into the bath last week actually and as I laid down the whole thing overflowed and when I stood up there was just a puddle in the bottom of the bath this is pointless plus it gets stuck I'm just too big for the bath I need a big bath if I'm going to get into a bath I need a big probably one twice maybe not twice the size length wise it'd be nice to have a longer bath because they're never long enough unless you're about 4ft tall are they?

not really to stretch your legs out and everything but mine's more the width it's not built for my width it's built for it's just built for slim people really or average sized people I'm just too I'm too much like a whale that's what it is too much blubber I used to love baths I used to build my favourite form of transport loved it but over the years showers have taken over and I've never found showers relaxing they can be they can be I suppose the water shooting onto your head if it's a nice powerful shower although I don't think that will do my hairline much good won't that just move the hairs out I had a shave today I thought about shaving my head but like I don't know does anyone else find this heat itchy?

very itchy so I've got the kitchen people coming around next week but then I got a phone call yesterday and they said it's the same company and they're going to change my radiators all of my radiators are going to be replaced and she said what we're going to do is she gave me a date when they're going to be done but she said we're going to have to do it after you've had your kitchen surveyed to see to see where your kitchen is going to be because we need to know where to put the radiator before we get there so to fit it in around that and I said ok so I've got them coming around for the kitchen just to sort of have a look and see what I want and then literally the following week yeah the following Tuesday I've got the radiators being changed completely every single radiator has been taken out so from 8am to about 1 o'clock or whatever in the afternoon they're going to be here and I don't know what I'm going to do with Vinnie because they're going to have the front door open the whole time how am I going to keep him inside because they're going to want access to every room I just don't know really don't know what to do about him I've got nowhere to put him nowhere that he can go for the day or just for the morning I mean this is the only place he can be I've got no one that can look after him yeah no one so it's a shame so I don't know unless I just keep him on the lead here if I had a cage I've never put a door I could never do that it might sound weird and I put Andre in a cage when I first got him because that was what I was taught to do, that's what I was told you get a ferret, it's in the cage but after a short period of having him I just left the cage open and he chose where he slept sometimes it would be in his cage because he had it really done up nice in there it wasn't just a little cage it was a big old house but the rest of the time he'd sleep on my bed Andre would sleep underneath the shed in the bedroom don't ask or he'd sleep he just had his own little places he had about what did Andre have he had one two three four five six seven, eight nine nine at least nine places that he would sleep so he had in the kitchen near the radiator he had his little place there he had in the living room he had behind the door the door was always open at this point before I got Vinnie, I never used to close the front door the living room door but I've got no choice now because he just barks so much so he used to because the door was on a latch to keep the door open he built a nest behind the door so he used to sleep behind there he had a little cabinet that he used to sleep in that was next to the sofa or next to my chair rather so he used to sleep in the this brown and green bag that he used to sleep in and it had my blue jumper in there that I'd had for years and it had holes in but he used to sleep on that inside the bag and he'd stick his head out of the hole with his tongue out so happy so happy sleeping wherever that was sometimes that was in here sometimes it was in the hallway quite often I think it was near the radiator in the hallway then it might be a sleep in his big long tube that he used to play in before sleeping there he used to go to sleep underneath the shed he used to also go to sleep on my bed also he'd go to sleep basically at the bottom of my bed on the floor I used to have a pile of dirty washing, just dirty clothes that needed washing and this sounds grim he used to like to sleep in there he'd burrow his way inside there so he'd be at the bottom of there, you wouldn't see him wouldn't know where he was and he'd sleep there he loved that so he had all these different places he slept and also his cage so inside his cage he had a hammock sometimes he'd sleep in the hammock and other times he'd sleep in his nest he actually had a nest thing it was like a it was a brown like a little room that I added and it was all cushioned like a cube with a hole in it so he could get in and out and he used to go in there and he used to just love it in there so if it was hot it'd be in the hammock but the doors would be open so he wasn't stuck in the cage because the food I had food, food was always in the cage and water, but he also always had food, like dry food on the floor and water as well he had this big blue it was actually a kitten poo tray thing it was plastic and it was used for kittens or cats or whatever I bought it originally hoping to teach him to go to the toilet indoors in that, but he didn't want to do that in the end I put paper down and he used the paper so what I did because I'd never used this blue thing I just thought I'll put water in there he loved it because there was a lot of water sometimes he'd actually get in and like paddle in it or he'd stick his head under it or just his chin so just the bottom of his face would be wet to cool himself down or he'd stick his whole head under the water to cool himself down but you know sometimes he would literally get in he wouldn't let himself get completely wet but he'd get in and just like clean his feet or just cool himself off it's very cute so yeah next week the week after so I've got radiators I've got one in the living room looking at it now it's very big actually they said to me when they came round do you want a smaller radiator I was like why?

why would I want a smaller radiator? what would be I mean this is bigger than a window and a window is big it's a big window I mean this is not a small room it's not a big room you might live in a if you came in here you might think oh it's not a very big room you're more likely to be focusing on the smell and all the mess on the floor but what is that? what am I trodding? the window is a fairly good size and for a council place considering it's a one bedroom flat I think it's an ok size actually I do my dad too was an electrician for 150 years he's been in and out of flats council flats everything for decades and decades and decades and he said that this because this is an old flat it's not a new one he said it's very it's very spacious actually so it's a good size room compared to more of the newer ones that are generally more smaller so yeah it's ok the bathroom is small and the kitchen is small but then it's just me me I don't know I've got a neighbour over there I'm pointing you can't see where I'm pointing I know but over there I've got a neighbour who's got a two bedroom flat now my room my rooms are bigger than her rooms I would say yeah my rooms are bigger than her rooms as far as the bedrooms go so I would say my room my bedroom is bigger than her bedrooms however she's got the living room is really nice and it's also got an area where you can eat sort of like for table and eating dining or whatever and the kitchen is much bigger not a lot in it with the bathroom though the bathroom is not really it's probably a little bit bigger but it's not a lot in it but the kitchen is definitely better it's a much bigger kitchen yeah way bigger it's got proper cupboards like right away from the floor to the ceiling I don't have that here this is just I've got two little cupboards on the wall some cupboards underneath what sits I don't really use those anyway what I'm going to do when I do get the kitchen put in I'm going to ask I'm going to pull one of the workers to the side to the side and just say can you please jump off the settee like a crazy doggy you need to learn to fly Vin it's the only way you're going to catch it so maybe see can you can you mouse proof the kitchen because there's so many gaps in underneath the counters and everything and I say look I'll pay you extra money can you please pay extra money I'll give you some cash in hand can you please fill in all the gaps so there's not one gap where the mice can come in if they do manage to get if they decide to come back to the building mind you one of my neighbours just had a baby lives opposite me a different building but I'll say hello to her when I see her, her dad is a vermin control person so if I'd known that I would have gone over there and seen if he could have come in there and sorted it out so yeah that would be good but it's just having all so there's no holes anywhere so everything is sealed up that's just what it needs and I'm going to see if they can do pink counters and make it all really really really weird colours for the next person that lives here probably won't have an option it'll probably be like two options ok there you go that pattern or that pattern but it's the same as the one I've already got but it's newer isn't it it's newer Newland ok I spoke to the woman on the phone about the radios and she kept calling them rads at the beginning of the call she said I'm calling about your rads I'm like what are you talking about I just didn't say anything because I thought ok we're the same company that's doing your kitchen and you know I remember we had the asbestos people come around to check your asbestos level before we sort out your heating and stuff I think ok you have radiators she kept calling them rads and I wanted to correct her not in a way that she obviously knows that they're called radiators but just try and explain that calling them rads to a customer is sort of a form of miscommunication I mean you could say well you knew they were calling about radiators so she's calling them rads I don't know is radiator is it a long word to say maybe it is maybe it's it's a mouthful couldn't get one in your mouth could you I don't know radiator rads rad radiator rad right the music's gone up a little notch now so I don't want to I don't want to have it I don't want to get blown away by the music and I don't know I can hear it but you might not be able to hear it I don't know but that's basically what's happening I'm quite pleased with that because it's getting it done and I'm just going to have a look and see what I've done this week so this week started on let's say the in the last 6 days 7 days so Friday the 3rd Friday the 3rd of July the 3rd of July and let's have a look so I didn't do anything so the 2nd so basically the last 7 days I've done 1 2 ok that wasn't alright I'm looking at the wrong podcast what did I say the 3rd of July the 3rd of July I've done I've made 3rd of July I have done 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 17 17 recordings 18 including this one 18 recordings in 7 days that's quite a lot isn't it wow blimey so yeah you know one of my goals in the old days used to be what if I can do 1000 recordings in 1 year so it works out about 3.

3 a day something like that is it 3. 3 so 3 a day would be 365 365 365 yeah so less than 3 a day would give me 1000 a year yeah I'm not aiming for that but just yeah not now but back then I was like wouldn't it be nice wouldn't it be groovy imagine if I could do 1000 but today I did healing from the inside learning to feel safe breaking free from control and manipulation fear of being fear of being fear of being dot burden a bird really that's very strong I have to change that and then another one the same rambling into dreamland sleep hypnosis recording so this is actually the 4th recording I've done today yesterday I did overcoming self doubt healing from the inside feeling guilty for arresting breaking free from control and manipulation and finding hope again healing from the inside hmm see yeah there's quite a few different ones I also realised that you know although all of my hypnosis recordings can be listened to to go to sleep I thought it would be good to start getting into making more just sleep hypnosis recordings just sleep nothing else so I'm going to start doing a few more of them so that's it the music's calmed down now oh no it's coming back again I can hear it's coming back there was something I was going to say I can't remember what it is though but I just want to say thank you to everyone you know for listening those that send me PayPal gifts those that share the recordings just thank you for your support and thank you for listening you know it really means a lot to me this is my life this is what I do this and taking Vinnie out a couple of times a day or three times if it's nice weather but not raining if you know what I mean this is it this is my this is my thing so yeah I appreciate I mean maybe I'd still be doing it if no one listened but it's nice to know that I hopefully I'm helping others I hope so yeah I thank you for that opportunity I'm going to start crying in a minute and you wouldn't want me to cry I sound terrible when I cry honestly I do that's me crying it's not a good sound our funerals are being kicked out of even ones I was invited to so I'm going to go thank you for listening and remember to be kind to yourself because you do deserve to be happy and be gentle with yourself you deserve to feel safe I've actually got that written I wrote that at the top of my door in my living room when I first moved in you deserve to feel happy with the hope that it will unconsciously sink in it's been there for 11 years so I don't only say it to you I also say it to myself take care it is Q&A Friday tomorrow and I do have a couple of questions so I will be making a Q&A Friday there wasn't one last Friday because there was no questions I can't do them if there's no questions so if you do have a couple of questions please go to you can leave a question on YouTube you can leave a question on Facebook anywhere you want and I will add it to the questions or you can send them to me it's my email address whatever you want to do and I will add the question on TikTok or Instagram or X if you follow me on X I've got two followers on X so you possibly don't but you might do and I will add them to the questions for Q&A Friday so take care and also before I go I had this where is it it's Facebook Facebook I want to say thank you to Jackie for your PayPal gift yesterday and also let me look to Kate now Kate sent a PayPal gift that was from it didn't have her name on it so I didn't know who it was from so I couldn't get a chance to say thank you but I put some initials of the company it was from and Kate let me know so thank you Kate I will remember that now for future you know the next time I'm not assuming but you know generally because of the trying to search and I was looking it up and I was like oh I want to find out who it was so I can just say thank you so now that's probably cemented in my brain forever so thank you and now I'm going to have a little break probably do the editing of this recording and then I will take a little sausage out oh yes so take care bye