(Overnight Voice Only) Radiator Chat | #1663 Let Me Bore You To Sleep | 13th August 2026

Hello, hello, bonjour, bonsoir, okay, hello, merci, is there another way to say hello? Gracias, swadeka, swadeepa, whatever, that's another one, so hello, welcome to, Let Me Bore You To Sleep with a dog in the background, I can do nothing about the dog in the background, and if I waited for the dog not to be in the background, I wouldn't be able to make any recordings, so sorry about that, I'll tell you right at the beginning, there's a dog in the background, so you can decide whether or not to listen any further, so this is Let Me Bore You To Sleep,

please only listen when you can safely close your eyes, and today is Thursday the 13th of August, 2026, what else, I don't know, I hear another shouting in the background, I was hearing shouting last night, the thing is sometimes I don't know if it's the television, not my television, I don't know if it was my television, well if I heard shouting and it coincided with what was going on in the television then I'd know it was my television wouldn't I,

although there have been times when I've been watching something like a movie or YouTube video and I hear something and I think was that coming from outside or was that on the video, on the YouTube video, so I keep rewinding and listening to it and I realize two things, well first of all it wasn't outside it was on the video, and the next thing I realize is why have I just wasted half an hour trying to find out whether or not it was on the video or outside, what's it matter,

and then I think well yeah but if it was outside it was a helicopter so you know I'd be interested to know if it was outside or if it was just in the war movie that I was watching and all the rockets and stuff like that, yes I guess yeah I don't want to know if that's going outside my window I'd like you know it's like, so I'm playing a movie and there's explosions and I'm like I've got to stop it, no there's nothing going on out there, maybe it was the movie,

a bit like that when I listen to concerts on YouTube, I've got to stop, that's not Michael Jackson in the garden singing is it, I'll turn the video back on, I know it is, it's the YouTube video of him on tour, well you know back in the old days, hello Vinnie, Vinnie just came in, had a little lick on my leg, I realize that my leg, do you know budgies have those shells, like fish shells or something that they scrape their noses on, my leg is like that for Vinnie,

or do they have salt things that they lick, I've not had a budgie for a long time, I'm not allowed budgies, I did have a budgie when I was about 14 and after what happened I banned myself from ever having one again, it's a long story I won't tell you about it, I have talked about it in the past but it was not my finest moment, it's nothing weird, you know I didn't get it pregnant and then just left it to deal with the baby on our own, no that's weird,

where did that come from, nothing like that, I woke up this morning, I'm going to talk about it yesterday because I went to the doctor's yesterday, so I thought I'd tell you about my adventure going outside, but throughout yesterday I needed the toilet a couple of times and I sat down and nothing happened you know, I'm used to parts of my body perhaps not quite, you know being quite as efficient as I used to be, which is fine but I'm like hmm, why is my tum tum telling me it's time to you know,

chuck out the trash as it were, then when I get to the the trash heap, there's no trash, no trash appears, it's like I've gone all the way to the to the dump to get rid of my rubbish and I've forgotten to take the rubbish with me, oh I've got to go all the way home again now I didn't really think anything of it, it just happens sometimes, eventually the body does what it does and it's fine, or so I thought, now I put my milk in the microwave,

this is this morning, I boiled the kettle, put a teabag in a cup I say a cup, the only cup I've got, it's a mug, it's not a big mug though, it's blue or green, I can't tell the difference, it's either blue or green, that's why my career as an electrician didn't go very very well, it's either blue, I think it's blue and it's not big, it's not a cup, you know those tiny little cups, what's the point, but you can't even get your fingers in them can you,

not in the cup, of course you can get them in the cup, but the handle I mean, there's no point having a handle if you can't put your fingers in it, through it, it's like they're built for little kids aren't they, like I'm talking babies, the tiny little handles, and you can't drink hot tea without holding a handle because it's burning, it's, it's, ooh, so I don't really see the point in that, those little cups, although I used to have some, but it was a case of that's all I had,

I didn't have any big mugs, so I was using those and I had about six of them and they'd all, you know, be stacked up in the, in the bath waiting to be washed, and I did that, I used to do that, I had so many dishes and plates and stuff, that I'd have to soak them in the bath, because there'd be no room in the sink, just ran out of room in the kitchen, struggled to get inside the actual, the building, because of all the cutlery and, what do you call it,

what do you call plates, they're not cutlery are they, old cutlery, I know cutlery is knives and forks isn't it, so what's dishes, don't say dishes, what, what's, I suppose porcelain, plates and bowls and cups, dishes I suppose, well anyway, I've got a blue or green one over there, and it's probably, just thinking of a measurement, what it is, how high it is, I haven't got a tape measure, but I'll measure it, I'll, I'll compare it to, okay, so that's got to be, it's got to be at least 50 inches high,

and so it's, it's all right, and I put my tea, my bag, teabag rather, into the cup and poured the water, have you ever, have you ever poured cold water from a kettle into a cup with a teabag, by accident, I mean what would you do on purpose, I just love the taste of cold teabags, it's like, how can I forget to boil the kettle, how can I forget to press the button down, when it's something I do every single day, it's like going into the bathroom and sitting on the sink instead of the toilet by accident,

no, I mean the sink wouldn't hold my weight anyway, the toilet struggles, it groans, but that's another, it's rude though isn't it, see the doggy, I think there might be two dogs out there, I'm not gonna let it bother me, but it's quite weird, because sometimes it does get calm, and other times it doesn't, like Vinnie, he barks, he's louder, he's way louder than that dog, Vinnie screams if anyone's at the door, or comes near the front door, but his is with excitement, I mean that dog might be excitement,

I've actually met the dog, it's a very, very lovely dog, shagged my leg for about an hour once, really cute dog, you know you've got to be real where real is needed, it's just, it's a lovely dog, it's just very, very barky, Vinnie is annoying, he's not, Vinnie's not nice at all, Vinnie doesn't like me, that dog prefers me, likes me better than Vinnie does, Vinnie tolerates me, I left him alone yesterday for about a couple of hours, and he howled for 10 minutes, I think, howled, and I recorded it,

because how else would I know, obviously I had died too, I recorded it, and I did post it, I think I posted it on Facebook, just for fun, I decided I'm going to use Facebook for fun now, instead of trying to build a career, the dogs got louder now, where is it, are they waving it underneath my window, pushing it up, like a triangle of people all on each other's shoulders, holding a dog, so it can get closer to my window, I posted on, I don't think anyone even noticed,

no one commented, no one, I don't think even registered, that I did a little audio, Vinnie howling, 10 minutes of howling pleasure, but I don't think anybody's actually listened to it, let's have a look, see if it's got view edit history, right let's have a look, I thought there'd be something to tell me, roughly how many times it's been viewed, but it don't, I wonder what that is, very very unusual, no it's not giving me any information, slow down comments, slow down comments, I've never had to slow down comments on anything I've ever done,

I don't think I've ever had more than about 14 comments on any one post I've ever made in 100 years, slow down comment, it actually gives you that the option, slow down everyone, it's my birthday in 13 days, it is, it is my birthday on the 26th of August, it's now the 13th, 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13, yeah because 13 take away from 26 is 13, it's double the amount isn't it, it's very easy isn't it, didn't have to count them did you,

no, didn't have to but I chose to, sometimes things are worth doing thoroughly, thoroughly, why is it not telling me, not telling me anyone has actually watched, that's a shame, oh maybe, settings, nope, I wonder, there might be a way, featured, media, files, there's no file, I can upload files can I, didn't like that, well according to this, it's not even, oh videos, it's not even registering as a video, how strange, because it is a video, it's not a video, it's an audio, but I turned it into a video,

I didn't realize I had stuff on here, got a few pictures of me, I guess videos of me, doing bits and bobs, videos of Vinnie, looks like a video of a beach, oh no it wasn't me, someone else, video of me in a hat, a blue hat, what am I doing there, oh this is when I was outside the doctor's surgery, 6th of July, why was I in a doctor's surgery on the 6th of July, anybody, that must have been when I went and had my blood test,

the last time I had a blood test, and yesterday was the 2nd time, because there was inconclusivity, I'm wearing my green fluorescent frog shoes, yeah it was, basically my sugar levels were a bit high, I think, and my cholesterol, so that's why they, that's why they got me another blood test yesterday, I was talking about, what was I talking about, I was talking about something, a dog, oh yeah the dog over the thing, oh well, oh, so I, oh yeah, I still make going to the toilet, well basically,

I put the milk in the microwave, because I have ready break every morning, with dried fruit on top, and a cup of tea, that's my early morning breakfast, and usually, here's how the routine goes, so I get out of bed, I'm lying in bed first, but before I get out, I'm in bed, I suppose I have to be, don't I, and I pull the covers over, or I push the covers away from me, and I'm always near the wall, that's what side of the bed I sleep,

and the bed is against the wall, so if I want to face the wall, I turn onto my left side, if I want to face, the other, I suppose I'm still facing the wall, but it's the other wall, but it's not right next to me, so I turn on my right, and next to my bed, I've got a brown set of drawers, and on top of this set of drawers, I would put my bottle of water, and my phone, where I would be listening to music, or radio, or whatever,

actually it's more something for Vinnie to listen to, otherwise, yeah, I prefer to have silence personally, but he's just listening all the time, I can, after a few hours, I can turn it off, and he's okay, but you know, not for a while, he has to be really, really, well I think it just has to be a point in the night when the likelihood of anything happening, so anyone going in the garden, or anyone coming up and down the stairs, or anyone knocking on the door, is unlikely to happen,

because of the time, so he kind of settles down, but if we have an early night, let's say if I go to bed at eight, or seven, or even six, sometimes I go to bed at six, not often, but occasionally, I just, I decide to pull curtains on the day, like okay, I'm gonna go sleep, that seems like a good idea, and you know, I can't do that, without having something playing, because of Vinnie, because he is listening, and there's still activity in the building, because it's still early,

so a normal thing is, push the covers over, I then lift my legs, and maneuver myself, so my legs move over Vinnie, because he's normally at, either at the bottom of the bed, or in the middle, he's really right, right up close to me, he does get like that sometimes in the middle of the night, but you know, I don't want to squash him, usually, so I, and I get up, and put my legs to the floor, my feet to the floor anyway, and with the help of my hand,

I grab onto the headboard of my right hand, to maneuver myself, and then, I suppose the first thing I do is look at the clock, or look at the phone, to see what time it is, then I'll have a drink of water, from the bowl of water, that's on the, you know, the one that's on the, the, what's it, the set of drawers, and I could go into the living room, and open a fresh bowl, but I might as well open the one that's closest to me, or you know,

drink from that one, unless, like this morning, that one was run out, so I did have to go, and get a new bowl, and open it, but sometimes it's still, you know, there's water left, and then I get up, or stand up, or I put my pink crocs on, they're right by the bed, so I kind of get my feet into them, then I stand up, then, it's usually dark inside, you know, I mean, well okay, it's not always dark, you know, it depends what time it is,

if I can see Vinnie, I'll have a little look, to see if he's all right, and then, sometimes what I'll do, is I'll, I'll push the clothes, the bed clothes over him, because he likes that, well not so much, when it's really hot, but, and it's not normally hot, when I get out of bed, unless I've left the heating on, do you know, I got a phone call the other day, from the council, asking me whether or not, I was, satisfied with the central heating, and I said, I don't know,

he said, what do you mean, I said, I haven't tested it yet, he said, no, no, I mean, are you satisfied with, the radiators that were put in, I said, I'll just answer the same, I don't know, because I've not tested them, I don't know if they work, and he said, no, it's not really about, whether they work or not, it's about, if you're satisfied with the workmanship, and you're treated with respect, and the people that came into your flat, were nice and friendly, and all that stuff, I said, yeah,

all that, that's true, that everything was good, but I feel a bit weird, that you're just dismissing, the importance of the radiators, actually working, and he said, yeah, but it's summer, you wouldn't have them on, would you, no, you know, turn the radiators on, when it's 34 degrees outside, I said, no, but I'd have thought, maybe the people that put the radiators in, would want to test the radiators, you know, briefly, I'm not talking about leaving the heating on for six hours, but just turning the heating on, briefly,

just to test each radiator, to see if it actually does warm up, but they didn't, oh, maybe it's because it was the hottest day of the year, when they were putting them in, I said, well, yeah, that it's, I understand where you're coming from, because yeah, it's, it was a hot day, I personally wasn't looking forward to the heating being turned on, because when there's no one around, you know, I do tend to kind of walk around, sometimes half nude, but I can't do that, if you've got people coming and going out of the flat,

you know, people I don't know, he said, what do you mean by half nude, I said, well, topless, you know, just so my top's off, he said, why didn't you just say topless then, I said, because I don't have breasts, he said, you don't have to have breasts to go topless, and I thought about it, it's true, isn't it, it's like, for some reason, I was stuck in this idea that, because, you know, there's certain things you can't do in public, and for some reason, women, females are not allowed to be topless in public,

in this country, generally, and men are, and it's very unfair, and I've been trying to get people together to do a, like a demonstration, all through London, and maybe all the way to the House of Parliament, to demonstrate about that, for equality, so that women, in fact, to make it, not just optional, to make it compulsory, go a bit further, because I thought that that would make people happier, if they had to be topless, I misjudged that one, I'll be honest, misjudged that one, but, you know,

my heart was in the right place, mind you, I'm not sure, because, I've just been to the doctor, I don't know if it is, but, because, you know, equality is important, and he said, are you sure you just don't want to see women walking around with their boobies out, and I said, excuse me, how dare you insinuate that I like boobies, I am a man of faith, I am a man of respect, I can't even tell the difference between a man and a woman when they're topless, I don't see,

I don't see titties, I, all I see is a human shape, to be admired, and to be respected, a human body that's there for a purpose, not just for visual and sensual gratification from people like you, and he said, so are you happy with the radiators then, it's, were the people okay, I said, yeah, yeah, it's all right, he said, okay, any problems, just contact, contact the, the company, basically, and I said, why wouldn't I contact the council, that's what I've always done in the past, when the radiators are broken and stuff,

he said, no, we have a warranty with the company for a year, so if the radiator is break down within a year, if they don't work properly, contact them, and they will come out and fix them, and I said, isn't it really your responsibility though, as the landlord, to be dealing with these companies, instead of leaving it up to me, who, to be honest, I, sometimes I do struggle with those kinds of things, and as my doctor did write down, I am severely mentally impaired,

so how do you expect me to remember stuff like that, and he said, you remember things that happened when you were 14 in the sea cadets, or doing karate, you remember houses that you lived in, or 50 or whatever them, you've got all these memories that you've been logging down, that you've been talking about for years and years and years, obscure stuff, that no one in their right mind would remember, they wouldn't remember, they wouldn't want to remember it, but you do, you've got all this stuff that's in your memory,

but you're telling me you can't remember, to call up a particular company that came around and fitted your radiators, if for whatever reason they don't work, I said, I see you listen to my podcasts do you, he said, yeah, I said, oh brilliant, it's great to meet a new fan, he said, I'm not a fan, I said, what do you mean, he said, I don't like what you do, I said, why do you listen then, he said, well, I've got a, I had a problem, you know, some people are too angry,

I said, yeah, well, I'm too nice, I'm too friendly, too happy, and sometimes the only way for me to get hold of those feelings that I'm suppressing, is by listening to something that winds me up and annoys me, so that's when I listen to you, it's very therapeutic, some would say even cathartic, some would say even, it means the same thing, but you know, I said, no, it's a different word, go on then, what's the difference between cathartic and therapeutic, okay, okay, see, but you, if I tell you,

you're just going to say, oh, that's you remembering things, if you remember that, why don't you remember to call up the correct place for your radiators if they break down, he said, no, I'm genuinely interested whether or not you know the difference between catharsis and therapeutic, I said, yeah, okay, well, catharsis is, is part of the healing process, the emotional healing process, and therapeutic is, it's part of the healing process, emotionally, so go on, what's the difference, you just told me what the similarities are, what's the difference,

because you told me they're not the same, or you told me they are the same, I'm not sure now, because I'm getting muddled up, which one of us is talking, I said, yeah, that does happen, the longer this goes on, these conversations go on, it gets more and more confusing, I forget who's talking, and sometimes I take on the, the personality of the person that, and what I'm saying doesn't make any sense, because I'm skipping around so much, and he said, yeah, but isn't that part of the,

that's part of the podcast though, isn't it, is to just be a little bit muddled, and perhaps hard to follow, to the point where those that do want to follow it can maybe enjoy it, but those that don't want to follow it, can try and follow it, and just drift off, because it's very, very difficult to try and trace back what one thing means, and what you refer into, sort of in 10 minutes time, what you're referring to, back 10 minutes ago, and who's referring to what, and you know,

I said, yeah, exactly, and I don't always know, because I don't plan what I'm going to say, he says, really, I said, yeah, don't, don't plan it, don't write it down, I don't, I never know what I'm going to say, I just, I'm an ad-libber, a fibber, a fibber, fibber, ad-libber, just say whatever comes into my mind, and he said, so you're telling me that what you think about is this, this is what's in your mind, this pointless conversation between you and a member of the council, who bless him,

was only phoning up to ask if the radiators were, you know, installed to your satisfaction, and I said, you're talking about yourself in the third person now, and he said, yeah, I forgot, very difficult to remember who's talking, I said, why, he said, because we've both got the same voice, and I just like, yeah, I did laugh, like, yeah, it's true, I mean, how do you follow something when both the voices are the same, but you know why both voices are the same, and he said, no, why, I said,

because it's my voice, isn't it, and he said, yeah, I know it's you, but if you want to have a, like, a two-way conversation between yourself and a fictional character, then you need to have a different voice for the fictional character, so that people are able to follow what's being said, otherwise it just makes it very, very, very difficult to follow, to concentrate, I said, yeah, but it's not really about following or concentrating though, is it, he said, what is it then, I said, it's about sleep, it's about relaxing,

it's about realising you don't need to follow pointless jibber-jabber the way maybe we kind of are forced to in real day-to-day life, maybe at work having to listen to a colleague or a boss yabbering on, and having to pretend to be interested in what they're saying, at least with me, you don't have to pretend to be interested, you can let all those words just wash over you, and relax, and perhaps do what you want to do, you like to do, maybe at home with your partner, or with your kids,

or when you're out, or when you're at work, when someone's just going on about something you're not interested in, because you can't just lay down, close your eyes, and go to sleep when someone's talking at you, trying to engage you into a conversation that you don't want to have, in real life you can't necessarily do that, especially in the middle of a supermarket, but here when you're at home, when you're on the sofa, or on a bed, wherever you get comfortable, you can just close your eyes, and kind of ignore me,

but what's the point in listening to you then, if people are going to ignore you, they might as well just not listen in the first place, I hadn't actually thought of that, so what you're saying is the best recording I could do, is to not make a recording, so the best way for people to sleep is to not listen to me, is that what you're saying, well no I'm not saying it like that, because that comes across a bit rude, considering all the work you've put in over the last 20 years,

I said how did you know all that, he said well I'm you aren't I, you know as you said you're doing both voices, and I think you began to realize that you're almost encouraging people to stop listening, so I thought I better intervene before you, I've started to offer people money to stop listening to your recordings, I said no that won't happen, but I do see where you're coming from, I'm a little bit of a self-sabotager, he said okay what does that mean then, I said you know what sabotager is,

he said yeah I do, but do you, of course I know what it means, I am the living embodiment of self-sabotage, seriously ask Sebastian my little German friend, he'll tell you, he's observed me sabotaging myself for the last 15 years probably, but I don't mean to, you know, but you know I'm working on it, I'm working on it, that's good, what else are you working on, oh funny you say that, I've actually started started I've started doing dog impressions, do you like them?

I think he's making some weird noises now, so yeah I started working on my book and stuff, what's the book going to be about?

It's going to be about me, oh can I ask you a question, I said yeah go on then, he said are you happy with the I said yeah I'm fine with that, he said well thank you, bye, I was like okay a bit rude, I mean could it be friendlier, that dog's almost like a caricature of a barking dog isn't it, it really literally sounds like it's going woof woof, woof woof, woof woof, woof woof, so I'm sitting on a toilet and nothing's happening, so I put the milk in the microwave,

the hot water into the cup or the my blue or green mug with a tea bag in, the milk is in the microwave for two and a half minutes, normally what I do then is I brush my teeth, I do a wee wee, I've got these face wipes I use, Nivea or whatever they are to you know make myself beautiful, and then I admire myself in the mirror like everyone does, and then that's it, but today I thought yeah I need a toilet, I probably need a toilet,

and this is after I've done a wee wee, it's like oh I've wasted time standing there doing that, I could have done it all at the same time, but I'm sitting there and nothing's happening, like there's a blockage of some kind, I know there's a technical word for it but I'm not going to use that, I was constipated I don't know, but it was weird though because I haven't, I eat quite a lot of veg, I don't know grains and stuff which are supposed to be good, and I also drink a lot of water,

well another nurse yesterday did ask me, do you drink enough water, and I said yeah all I do is drink water, and she looked at me and she said that's not true is it, I said what do you mean, she said that's not all you do is it, you do other things, you're not just at home drinking water all day, because that would actually be harmful for you, it sounds like it may be an untruth, an exaggeration, like I didn't say I was sitting there all day drinking water,

but I do drink water all the time, like it's an expression isn't it, there's people in the garden now talking, right I better stop, it's too noisy out there, it's only nine o'clock, why are they making so much noise, so I'm sitting there and they say this is like what do you do, there's only so much like you can do, there's not many options, it's not like a game of chess where you can really you know, I mean there's lots of options of a game of chess, the more,

the less you know about playing chess, the more options there are I would say, because you can just basically move anything and yeah you lose a game, but you know you just move stuff, so really I think I was in a perspective of being a master chess player, which meant I didn't have many moves to choose from in order to win the game, maybe that should be the name of my book, constipations are very much like a game of chess, can you hear that in the garden, that's someone just talking,

that's their normal talking volume, so Vinnie's pretty good, he used to respond to the other dog and he used to respond to the old bag, he used to respond to the neighbours as well, but he doesn't, although he does get excited if, so he loves everybody in this building, so if and also two of the neighbours have got cats, they've got three cats each and he loves cats, he gets excited on a level that I can't really register and so and his favourite person in the whole building is my neighbour downstairs,

he loves her like he screams when she comes up here, he's all over her, he's literally screaming with delight and so if she's outside putting the laundry out or whatever he will bark or he'll whimper or if the other neighbour with the cats goes out there he might bark, but he doesn't bark at over the fence people, unless there's like two dogs going at it, then he will bark or if there's, if he hears shouting that sounds maybe less than friendly between humans he might also bark,

because I think he just feels protective towards people, even though he just wants to annoy me, it's one of them, one of them and yes, I'm not quite sure what's going on out there, but I'm going to bring this recording to an end, anyway in the end everything was fine, I just need to go on Amazon and find out how much it cost to get some toilet blocker or unblocker rather, so I need to unblock the toilet, I don't know how it got blocked, someone must have come in here and used it when I wasn't looking, so I'll do that and I'll take Vinrin out for a walk, did his ears prick up when I said that?

No, so I've not even really mentioned what happened yesterday, so maybe there will be a part two to this recording where I mention yesterday's um visit for my blood test and you know, because that was a whole adventure in its own right, kind of very boring, but still for me it's an adventure, because there was one point I was standing outside the doctor's surgery waiting for a taxi home thinking, I quite like being outside, like away from home, away from him, it was a degree of freedom,

just I don't know how to explain it, it felt quite nice, just to not have to think about anyone else, because he's a little bit needy, old Vinnie, and I can't take him out really, can't take, because he's not allowed in most shops, this part of me just wanted to just run and just let's get out of here, let's go to Belgium and just keep going you know, but I don't have a passport, now that's not the reason I didn't do it, but um 30 years ago I would have done,

I'm not saying I left Vinnie, but 30 years ago I didn't have the responsibility to take care of a dog or any animal or any human or anything, or myself really, but I could so do with a holiday, oh or just just you know somewhere else, not not in this country, just to get away for a week or something, 10 days, oh that'd be nice, so nice, so I'm gonna go now and I'll tell you another time about my adventure at the doctor's, I wonder how long it take for them to get the results back,

I could probably go on to the um yeah there's an app, I could go on to the NHS website app on my phone and search, because it was yesterday morning, I don't know, they might have them back, who knows, because they're only only sort of checking for a couple of things, hmm so I'm gonna go, thank you for listening, remember to be kind to yourself, because you do deserve to be happy, be gentle with yourself, you deserve to feel safe, lots of love, bye