(Long Voice Only) I’m Officially A Diabetic | #1674 Let Me Bore You To Sleep | 1st September 2026 | Jason Newland

Hello and welcome to Let Me Bore You To Sleep. My name is Jason Newland and please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. So it is Tuesday the 1st of September 2026 and I had my doctor's appointment, well actually it was the diabetic nurse appointment at 11.20pm. I knew I was diabetic because they had already told me on the phone, I had already seen the results on the app, the NHS app.

And I know that I wasn't being referred to the diabetic nurse to talk about flower arranging, you know, there was a reason I was going. And so what she basically did is, I don't know, I knew, I mean this is life changing in a weird way. And in another weird way, I have been quite dismissive about it.

Now, I'm never dismissive, at least I hope I'm not, about other people's, you know, stuff. So I'm not dismissive against other people having diabetes. But I've been quite dismissive about myself, and I was pre-diabetic for, what was it, about 2014, 2013-2014.

Apparently last year I managed to get it down, but I did lose quite a bit of weight. And now I'm, well for the first time I'm actually diabetic, I'm in that, like, you know, the diabetic zone. Needing medication and a change of diet.

I'm not quite sure how that's going to work out. Just have to research online for diabetic cakes, I suppose. Diabetic chocolate, you can get diabetic chocolate, I think.

Although I don't think that's really what I'm supposed to be doing. Perhaps that's not the, the first thing that I should be aiming at, is what chocolate and cakes can I get that I'm able to eat safely. Anyway, I, so I go to the appointment.

I woke up quite early this morning. I really didn't want to go out. I wasn't in the mood.

I just wasn't in the mood. And it was a case of getting a taxi there, a taxi back. Can you make a bit more noise, please, Vinnie? Oh, he's got his thing out.

Okay. He's busy. He's not going to hear me.

Oh, the other, oh, the other day was so funny. This dog, a new dog he'd never met before, he was getting on with the dog. So it's quite nice.

I'm talking to the dog's owner and we look over there. They're telling their dog off. I look over and their dog is trying to hump Vinnie.

He's literally, he's got his paws on Vinnie's back trying to hump him. It's like, I just couldn't, I, and he's been done as well. So he hasn't, you know, they're both, both been done.

And I just found it very amusing. Vinnie looked back as if to say, like, what are you doing? This feels nice. No, he's like, what are you doing, mate? Get off.

He didn't seem in a hurry to get the dog off though. So who knows? I don't know. Maybe he's, maybe he was enjoying it.

I don't know. Anyway, so I wake up and I'm like, oh, it's almost like the day's ruined before it starts because I've got to go out. And I just didn't want to, but I had to.

I can't just ignore something like this. So, which is in my nature, my natural instincts is to ignore stuff if at all possible. And I can't anymore.

So, you know, I decided I'm definitely going to go and I woke up and I was gonna, I took the little one here out in the park for a short wander. Then I came back, saw a friend and we came back here, had a chat for half an hour. Then I ordered a taxi because I was all ready.

I'd already had a wash and dressed and I was all prepared to go. Already all clean, clean and scrumptious. Which is a word I've never said out loud before.

Clean. And so I just thought, okay, yeah, I'll just do it. So I ordered a taxi.

It said we're seven minutes away. So I thought, okay, it gives me enough time just to get the stuff that I need to get. Put it in a bag, you know, like my water, my wallet, my phone.

Mmm, I don't know. There's not a lot to remember. Just make sure I'm wearing the right glasses.

Because I've gone out a few times without my, with my, the glasses I use for my computer work. They're no good for outside. But occasionally I go out without them, you know, with these on.

I just forget. You know, it's a lot to remember to keep putting different glasses on. And some might say, well, why don't you get the, the Trifocals? Because I've got three different sets of glasses and I've done that.

It didn't serve me well. It didn't. No.

I need the entire lens for what I'm doing. If I'm out, I need the entire lens. If I'm using a computer like I am now, which I'm not really using the computer, but I'm at the computer.

When I'm at this desk, I wear these glasses. I can still see the TV because it's a really big TV. So it's not focused, but I can see, you know, what's roughly what's going on.

It's like, you know, I just get up and I forget, I forget I've got them on. I mean, sometimes I actually go to take them off and then they're not on. It's like, it's just, you know, it's like, it's weird.

I actually poke myself in the eye with my glasses during the nurse interaction, which is a little bit embarrassing. Poke myself in my left eye. I have to have my eyes tested as well.

So I talked about my eyes and she said, well, with diabetes, it can affect your eyesight. My eyesight's, I mean, this sounds negative, but it's just true. This is real life.

Just it's not nothing bad or negative about it. It's just what it is. And it can send me to a specialist at some point to get my eyes tested much more thoroughly than an optician does it.

More kind of, not so much about sight, but looking at the back of the eyes and checking all that stuff to see whether or not it's been affected by the diabetes and stuff. The other thing so that I've been given tablets, so I don't have to inject, which is good because I wasn't, I wasn't actually prepared to do that to be honest with you. So it's type two diabetes and I've got tablets, which I'm going to start taking tomorrow.

So yeah, I'll start the tablets tomorrow. And I've, I've also been put on statins because of my cholesterol. The doctor's been trying to put me on statins for probably six years because my cholesterol has been high continuously.

It went down a little bit, but it's still high. It's always, it's always been above what it should be for a long time. And now it's high, higher than it's ever been.

And it's now a case of like weighing off, weighing up the options, weighing up the, um, what's better to take a tablet every day or the risk, you know, so they talked me into it. So I've, I'm taking, I'm starting them tomorrow as well. Just one tablet a day.

And unfortunately, once, you know, once I start taking them, I can't stop, but it is kind of better than the alternative. I mean, you can stop, you can go in and you can go without tablets for a couple of days or whatever, but, um, like long-term it's, I think the issue reverses itself or goes back to how it was if you stopped taking them. So it's the nurse explained it to me.

It's almost like a drain cleaner just cleans the drains. And I said, how did you know? How did you know my sink was blocked? We laughed, we rolled around, laughed and then tickled each other. We didn't, by the way, this isn't fantasy stuff.

When I talk about stuff like this, it's not something I want to actually do. Honest. And so she explained to me all the different kinds of things involved.

I have to go and have my feet checked once a year. I have to have an examination as well, a checkup and everything, but I get a checkup every year because of the mental health. Uh, cause I'm on medication there and I get, um, which is why they've pretty much found out that I'm diabetic.

Cause if I hadn't had a regular checkup every year for pretty much the last 11 years or 13 years, in fact, I might not be in, in, I don't know. It's just, they've been keeping track of how I've been every year. And if I was like a lot of people, like I used to be, which is a good thing to be, but I never went to a doctor if I didn't have to, not for physical stuff anyway.

And it was, what do you mean not for physical stuff? What did you go for? Recipes? Did you go to, to paint a picture? What did you go for? Like, you know, when I say not physical stuff, I'm talking, um, mental health stuff. Although that is physical stuff. Cause it's, it's in your brain and your brain is a physical thing.

Ooh, that was mind blowing. Wasn't it? Do you mean that it's just what organic in the actual brain? Yeah. It's crazy, isn't it? Think about it.

I have an abnormality in my brain, which is why I am how I am, why I am where I am when I am. And that's fine. But it's really weird, you know, with the old, uh, psychiatrists and all that stuff, the one thing they should be doing, and I'm not an expert, I'm not a doctor.

I come across as someone that could easily be a doctor. It's hard to believe I'm not a doctor. I mean, sometimes I wake up and think, how come I'm not a doctor? I really could be.

But what psychiatrists are doing is so outdated. When they come to diagnosing, I mean, it works, but it could be a lot easier if they'd focused on the brain. This is because they focus more on the behavior rather than on the actual organic brain itself.

If everybody got a brain scan, who had a, you know, who was diagnosed with a mental health illness, if everyone got a brain scan, then the researchers could start to find what AI would do it now, wouldn't it? But they could start to find similarities and irregularities, irregularities. They could start to find patterns, not in a controlled group of like 150 people, but millions of people, millions of brain scans.

And noticing maybe that everybody with a specific thing, without naming anything particular, but whatever.

Oh, notice that they've all got that, that particular part is shaped like a willy or something. I don't know. But you know, any, I don't know if there's any part of the brain with different shapes.

I guess it's all got shapes, isn't it? Everything's a shape, I suppose, apart from those things that aren't. And they could be like, oh, ah, so where does that, what does that correspond with? And maybe, wow, could even come up with medication that could fix that. Because you know what? I reckon most people with who's dealing with severe kind of, you know, mental stuff would really like to have a fix.

And not a tablet. Well, maybe a tablet, but like a permanent kind of like, you know, like antibiotics or something like that, where you take it and it's all sorted. The brain is fixed, it's gone back to how it used to be or how it should have been to start with.

Or, you know, I'm a little bit scared to use the word normal, because I've yet to meet a normal person in my life. But there is a degree of normality which spreads through society that I definitely don't feel part of. But when you break it down to individuals, a lot of people are just fitting in and they're just going along with it.

Because when you stand out, when you're, it doesn't always look good. People would, not everyone likes to be seen, like to blend in. Very tribal.

I quite like that word because I don't remember being like this when I was younger, like the tribality of it. Like, maybe it always was, but because I've moved around so much when I was younger, I didn't really feel that I fitted in anywhere. I kept moving to different schools, didn't feel like I fitted in until the very last junior school.

And I was there for two years, then I went to high school for five years or whatever. And I didn't feel like I fitted in. There was a degree of consistency for the first time.

So the kids I was at junior school with, between the ages of nine and 10, or 10 and 11, whatever, you know, those years leading up to high school, those kids went to high school with me. So buddy, at the time I'd left school, some kids I'd known for seven years, six or seven years. So there was something quite nice about that consistency that I'd never experienced before.

But I still felt that I didn't really fit in. And I remember I said to someone at school, his name is Jason as well. And I said, I said to him, and this is something that I realised after doing it a few times, that you should never do it.

Something you should never ask anybody. And it's a bit of a weird one. But I genuinely wanted to know, because I couldn't tell.

You know, it works out. Sometimes I kind of thought to myself in the past that I'm the only human being on the planet that can't read other people's minds. It just sometimes felt like everybody knew what the other person was thinking and feeling.

But then I started to realise that, of course, people can't read minds. We can read cues. You can read, if you know someone really, really, really, really well, and they raise their left eyebrow every time they're about to fart, for example, then when you see them raise their left eyebrow, you probably think, probably going to fart.

I better stick my head out the window. You know, it's little, little things like that. But I found that I seem to be the only person who would admit that I didn't know.

They didn't understand. And I seem to really infuriate people. And I don't know why.

Why? Just a bit of honesty. Just being honest and saying, like letting people know that I don't know how you, I mean, I didn't have the correct verbal skills when I was a kid to express this. So I was a bit clumsy with it.

But what I wanted to say is like, or to express really, I think, was, I don't know how you perceive me. Sometimes I got to the point where I cared so much that I had to stop caring, because it used to make me ill. So I got to the point where I'd just be naughty and I, yeah, I think sometimes I cared too much.

So I became insensitive to hide my sensitivity. That's the title of a book somewhere, isn't it? I hide my, in, I hide, what's it? I'm insensitive to hide my sensitivity. And I spoke, I went up to this kid at school and said, do you like me? Now, nowhere, anywhere, and I've read, I suppose, thousands of books over the years, never read or heard anywhere not to ask that question.

Yet, it's not a question you should ask. So maybe if you're in a relationship with, you know, like a romantic situation where like, you want to find out the person has feelings for you, do you like me? You know, I guess in that situation, maybe, but to gauge the, you know, the signposting, you know, see where it's going to lead, if anywhere, but as a friend to go up to someone at school, or it wasn't really, he was a friend, he was someone I knew that I went to school with, and he had a really lovely name.

I admired his name from afar.

I used to wonder why isn't everyone called Jason? It's such a nice name. It's just really, it just falls out of your mouth, doesn't it? Jason. Oh, lovely name.

Anyway, I said to him, do you like me? And you know what he did? He shouted out, because I said it quite quietly, you know, just, I didn't know if he liked me or not. I knew I had one friend, Dean, my friend Dean in junior school. I knew he was my friend, but we didn't have to tell each other that we liked each other because we were friends.

But for some reason, I couldn't tell if he liked me. So I asked him, and he shouted out really loudly. This was on the football pitch, by the way.

Did you just ask me, do I love you? And I said, no. Shut up. I didn't ask you.

And he was like repeating it to everyone. Jason just asked me if I love him. Now, probably the worst part of the story is the fact that nobody seemed surprised.

They're like, oh, Jason's at it again. Just coming out with some random, weird, strange behavior. And I didn't know how to act with people.

I still don't know, to be honest. If you want to really throw me off in a conversation, just stop talking. Just stop talking.

And I don't know what to do. I really don't know what to do with that. It's very hard for me to keep quiet.

Now, I can keep quiet for hours and hours on my own here. And, you know, I've got a couple of neighbors, or one particular neighbor wants me to come around and watch the boxing on a few occasions over the past. And I've always said no.

I said, the boxing is for me. Watch it on my own. I don't need any distractions.

I don't want any distractions. I'm very just to the point. It's not in a blunt, horrible way.

It's just like, that's how it is. And the reality of it is, if I've got someone else in the room with me, I'm going to be talking the whole way through it. I'm just going to keep talking.

And that's not necessarily a good thing. It's very warm in here today, or tonight. Anyway, so yeah, I'm on statins, which I'm starting tomorrow.

Yeah. And the, what's it's for diabetes. I couldn't even tell you what it is I'm on.

I got, I got the medication and I don't even know how, if they give me a month's worth, I hope they have. I don't want to have to keep collecting every week because I pay someone to collect it for me. So it cost me £10 a time.

And then, so this, because they come at different times of the month, it's now going to cost me £20 a month because it's a different date to when I get my normal medication. Well, my normal, yeah, the one that I've been getting for the last 13 years. 13, 13, 13.

So 13. Hmm. So yeah, so I'm on the medication and this is pretty much what's happening.

I need to change my diet. So I have to look into that. There's a website to go on to a diabetic website and I just need to start being careful, but I'm not going to like go super changey instantly because that's just a lot of pressure.

I just want to do it gradually and you know, just ease my way into it because this is going to be, that's going to be a lifelong thing, isn't it? So I have to, or maybe not. I mean, with a diabetes, I might, might, might, might, might, might be able to reverse it. So if I'm eating a bit better, try and get more exercise, lose some weight, I might be able to get the, the diabetes reversed.

So I'm no longer, you know, cause I'm kind of way below the level. Yeah, that'd be cool. So maybe I'll try and do that over the next year.

And then I can stop taking the medication for that. I just don't know. Cause I'll imagine if it's ironically, the medication causes weight gain.

That'd be funny, wouldn't it? I mean, the, the mood stabilizers causes weight gain. I put quite a lot of weight on when I started taking them. Apparently it can make you pregnant as well, but I didn't have that side effect.

Yeah, that's it really. There's not much else going on, just, I thought I'd let you know. So this is one of those shorter videos.

I'm very tired, very, very tired. It's nearly time for bed. I've still been working on my website and what I've done, if I come out of there, I'm not sure what it's done, but it's up, oh, okay.

Steam open, open. I still work on the website every day. And it's just small incremental changes.

At the moment I'm using TurboScribe to transcribe episodes, 1,551 to 1,600. Although I tried to use it early today and it came up a big sign again. You need to go professional.

You need to pay more money. I can't remember how much that was. Was that 200 pound a month, 400 pound a month, something like that.

And I'm not even transcribing many. Literally, it's like 50 at a time and it takes hours to do. So I suppose, yeah, I'm taking up.

Yeah, it is. There's a lot, but it wouldn't let me, if I wouldn't even let me do 50 this time, it just stopped me uploading anymore. So I've uploaded about 45, I think.

And it'll be running. The recordings were uploaded to TurboScribe. So the transcription will probably be running all night.

It should be all finished by the time I get up in the morning, really. It takes hours and hours and hours. Which is fine.

And then what I'll do is I'll work out which ones are missing. Upload those, transcribe those, download the file into a zipped file, all 50 recordings, upload that to ChatGPT so they can then add those transcriptions and descriptions into the website. And then also have it so that they can translate as well into 10 different languages.

So it's quite a lot. Each time I upload 50, there's quite a bit to do to kind of tidy it all up and make sure it's working fine. I mean, it's difficult when it comes to the translation, because I don't know what different languages are.

Well, I know what they are, but I don't know if they're correct. So there's a lot to do on that one. I'm not sure if I'm still going to pursue the idea of having a recording in different languages, just for the basic cost of it.

Um, there may, there may be a way around it where it doesn't cost anything. And I was looking into that. In fact, ChatGPT did actually do one, did a recording.

Have I still got it here? They did a recording. 30 minutes, two minutes, two minutes, 10 minutes, 10 minutes. 10 minutes, English to Spanish.

Oh, that's the text. Okay, fair enough. But what about the actual audio? 43 seconds, that's not good.

43 seconds. 10 minutes, English to Spanish. It's seven minutes long.

I can play it to you if you want, if you want to just get an idea. Hold on two seconds. Can you hear that? Okay.

So it's not my voice, obviously, but it is slow. And it's the words where it's translated from my recording. So play a little bit more.

It's Spanish, by the way, in case you didn't know. So to me, that does not sound relaxing. But it is slowed down by about 70% to what it would be if it was a normal Spanish speed, according to AI.

So I'm not really sure. I mean, I'm not going to speak fast. I don't speak fast.

Generally, occasionally I do. But you know, most of the time, I'm fairly slow speaker. And it's kind of, to me, it sounded quite fast.

You know, even though it's Spanish, and it was maybe a slow, slow to someone listening to it, who is Spanish speaking, I don't know. It just sounds still sounds fast to me. It's kind of, I guess I'd need some kind of feedback.

When it comes to that. I mean, what I suppose I could do, but it doesn't. But this doesn't satisfy me.

I could do a dub using my voice, my cloned voice, do a dub of a recording, one of my recordings and just dub it into Spanish and do like a 20 minute recording once a month or something. But that's not satisfying. I kind of want to do all of my recordings and make them available in every language in the world.

Am I asking too much? Maybe. That's kind of my dream is to be available to everyone. But I would prefer to use my voice.

If possible. And I do think that will be possible in the future. You know, things like dubbing.

It will be simple. It's not simple yet. And it's very expensive.

But I think it will become really cheap. Over time. I hope so anyway.

Which means I can I can have all of my recordings automatically, which is the ideal situation. I'd like to be able to make a recording. Upload it to Spreaker.

And then the website automatically adds it from Spreaker into the website. As a podcast episode available in every language, both transcribed so you can read it and also so you can listen to it in any language with my voice. Now, that's quite.

It's probably not going to surprise you to know that that's it's a big job. It's a big old job. It's not a simple thing to do.

So. I have to just think it over. But that is what I'd like to do.

And then I'd like to be able to turn my website into an app. Basically, just have everything that's on the website on the app. But also, I think I'm going to need to possibly.

I don't know. But when I think about it, I might have to. Change the layout of the mobile phone screen like I don't know if I'm going to be able to have as well.

I don't think I will have as much stuff on the phone as I have on the laptop. Just basically screen screen space, you know. So I think I will have to sort of miss a lot of stuff out.

Which I'm all right with as long as it doesn't like majorly affect everything. Yeah, I'll be all right. But I will get advice from from the from the website builder that I'm using chatgbt and.

Just figure it all out beforehand, make sure this. It works on everything has to work on the iPad, the iPhone, all mobile phones, all tablets and laptops. And I guess maybe even be adapted for.

Watches. Smartwatches, do they have the Internet? Like in the same kind of screen wise, do they have it? I don't know. That'd be no good to me.

Way too small. Way too small. Blimey.

Imagine trying to read a phone. A phone, a watch. Yeah, rather no.

So I kind of, I kind of kind of got it in my mind what I want to do. How I want it to be. And I've got the major design already set up.

So it is a case of just filling in the gaps and making sure that everything's updated. As much as it can be. And then start to make tweaks.

And then starting to set up some automations. For the future. Yeah.

I'm nearly falling asleep doing this. I do apologize ever so sorry. I really am.

Hmm. Yeah, it's been an OK day. It's been.

Hmm. It's been a day. Let's put it like that.

It's definitely been a day. And. Yeah, hopefully things will be OK.

Just got to keep an eye on myself really, haven't I? Just look after myself and do what is necessary to keep at an optimal health level. Optimal, whatever that is. Optimal.

I mean, even when I left school. People would ask me questions and I'd say, I don't know. And it used to wind people up.

I don't know why. It was almost like they thought I was being awkward because I was like, just, I don't know, I'm acting dumb. I wasn't acting.

It's like, I don't know, like I didn't care. But it wasn't that. Well, I probably didn't care, but it wasn't about not caring.

It was about telling the truth. And not blagging. And I noticed a lot of people just made stuff up.

And then walked away from the situation without caring about what happens next. And I didn't want to be like that. From an early age, I want to just, if someone says, oh, is, I don't know, I can't think of an example, but do you know where's whatever is? And I said, I don't know.

I had one boss, where he was like a supervisor, had a go at me. He said, you don't, is there anything you know? I said, I'm not sure. And then I realized I should mix it up a bit.

Instead of saying, I don't know all the time. I say, I'm not sure. Or, hmm, that's another one.

Just make a sound. Or, sounds interesting. Or, what I did learn, what I did learn to say as I got older, is, I don't know, but I'll find out for you.

So when I was in insurance, people would ask me questions, and I didn't always have the answers for. So that was my answer to that. I don't know the answer to your question.

But I know a man that does, or a woman that does, or whatever. So I'm going to get the information for you. Please bear with me.

Bear with. And people seem to appreciate that. And so they're just being BS'd, as it were.

A very weird sound in the garden. Sounded like this. I'm being a little bit reflective tonight, aren't I? Wait a minute, the word reflective, because when we look in a mirror, it's a reflection, isn't it? Is that what that word comes from? Being reflective is like, you're looking at yourself.

Wow. So it's like looking in the mirror and seeing yourself. Being reflective.

You're looking at yourself. Studying yourself. Questioning yourself.

Reflective. As a mirror. So the word reflective's all been about a mirror.

Wow. Anyway, that's it from me. And I will speak to you tomorrow.

So thank you for listening. And remember to be kind to yourself. Because you deserve to be happy.

And remember to be gentle with yourself. You deserve to feel safe. Lots of love.

Bye.