(music) 1500th Episode - LMBYTS #1500 - Jason Newland 30th November 2025

Hello, welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland and this is Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. Now I have I'm doing three things, three, three things at the same time, which is very hard for me.

I'm very hard, it's getting very hard to do stuff like this. So first of all, I'm recording the podcast via the microphone and all that, all that setup. Secondly, I am streaming live to tic-tac.

And thirdly, I am recording video in this session as well. So I will put it onto YouTube. So I'll put the audio and the camera video footage together and put that on YouTube.

So this is quite a task, actually. But hey, hopefully the sound is okay for those watching on tic-tac. I don't know if anyone's watching from the looks of it, no one, but that's okay.

Vinnie is on the ground. It's like a graveyard down there, like all these bones everywhere. It's nice.

So I need to find a way of doing this at a specific time every night. Maybe five o'clock in the afternoon is a good time. Maybe it is five o'clock in the afternoon.

Do it at five o'clock every day. I'm trying to think of a reason, not an excuse not to, but a reason why that wouldn't work. In the past, it would have been, well, that collides with television.

You know, well, the EastEnders is on then, I can't watch it. I know EastEnders is not at five o'clock, but could do that at five o'clock every afternoon, UK time. Because at the moment, and I don't know why, it doesn't record.

How can I record the screen? Screen recording, that's what I need to find out how to do. Because then I wouldn't need to video it. Although I'm videoing it and it'll be a better picture on a video when I upload that to YouTube.

There's a lot of stuff here and I got my laptop just there as well. So because I generally like to kind of check stuff up if anything comes to mind, as it were. So really, today, I spent pretty much the entire day asleep, or half asleep.

And now, I'm actually feeling better than I did through the day, which is weird. I just didn't, there's only people who join in, but they're basically, I think what it is, what it is, is they skip through. Perhaps if I showed a bit more flesh, or they skip through and it shows that people have joined.

They haven't really joined, they just skipped through, they just looked and thought, Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, and then just moved on. Some people might just come onto this page and think, how can I concentrate with that beautiful face? So it could be that, that could be what it is. It's because it is relaxing, supposed to be a calming, me being calm, and relaxing, and peaceful.

But it's probably hard to do that if you're being erotically stimulated by my handsomeness, my beauty. So yeah. I feel like my voice is a little bit croaky today.

Not quite as velvety as it normally is. A little bit. I was thinking of shaving my head, shaving my head off like live.

But there's not enough battery in the shaver. And I'd only get so much done. Plus, my hair's not very long at the moment.

The longer it is, the more effective it is like, you know what I mean? It doesn't get long, like long, long, but just long, long. Yeah. Then it is now.

So got no one on here. Should I put a Facebook, Facebook, Facebook, Facebook page, I could just add a little one. I'm not logged in.

Really? How can I not be logged in? I go on there every single day, man. Facebook. Got some logged in, blimey.

So if I go, it's gonna put in I'm on. I don't even know where I am. I don't have TikTok.

Do I have TikTok? Can I share this? Oh, I can, can't I? Wait a minute. Let me see if I can share this. I'll share it with Facebook.

Share with Facebook, say something. Just post. So maybe someone, one of my special friends will join.

Jason Newland shared the live, encouraging more viewers to share. Would you like to share? How do you spell share, everybody? S-H-A-I-E-R-E. That's right, boys and girls.

Share. So it's weird. I don't know why I did that.

See, yeah, I've been really tired today. Pretty much like that yesterday. I didn't, didn't have the, didn't really have the energy to want to do anything.

So I didn't do anything. And so now I've got, I mean, I wouldn't go for a run. I wouldn't, I wouldn't like start rummaging through my cupboard, cupboard like, where's that javelin hiding? Where did I hide the javelin? Like, no.

I'm not going to, I'm not into water sports. And so it's like, where's my boat with my water skis? I had a friend, he's really, I looked at his profile online and it said into water sports. Never once did I see him ever go near a river.

Weird, isn't it? You'd think someone would talk about it. Like, oh, I went boating or I love sailing, but nothing. Yet on his, um, what was it? It was some dating app.

He put like water sports. Like, mind you, it's not a very good date, is it? Really? On a first date. I'm going to, would you like to come out for a date? Yeah.

Okay. Well, don't forget to bring your, I don't know, what do they call them? Your diving suit or something. Your snorkels.

Don't forget to bring your skis. Your yacht. I don't know.

What do people, I used to be in the sea cadets, but even then I wasn't really into water sports because I didn't, never really liked the water. I don't mind it if it's inside a bath or inside a glass or a bottle. And I love the ocean.

I just don't want to be in the ocean. You know, I like the TV. I don't want to be in the TV.

I like drinking Coke. I don't drink it anymore, but I like it, but I don't want to be inside the can. So yeah, it's like, why would I want to be in the ocean? And you could say, yeah, but if you're on a yacht, you're, you're on the ocean.

Well, it's a little yacht and the ocean's quite big. I've heard apparently it's quite large. So here's a weird thing, but a weird bit of knowledge about my family.

My nan's, I think it was her grandparents went to Ireland because she was Irish, all the family were Irish, but they were coming back and forward from England to Ireland. They went to Ireland. So a lot of the family went to Ireland to go to a funeral and the ship sunk.

True story. It's like, wow. I mean, they didn't get there.

They didn't, you know, it was like a big disaster. That's a long time ago. It's like 1915 or something like that.

I don't know, 1910. I did go water skiing once, but I didn't go water skiing. That makes sense.

So I, what happened is I was working in a chip shop and this was probably 1987, 1988, I'd say probably around the beginning of the year or the end of 87. So around November maybe January. So it was anyways, winter.

I remember that because it was dark outside. Now you could argue it's dark outside all year round at certain times. Now this was early.

It was dark outside quite, you know, like five o'clock or something. And my boss said to me, Oh, do you want to go water skiing? And I said, yes. Why? Why did I say yes? To this day? I mean, I don't sit up at night worrying about it and trying to like, why did it? But you know, when I think about it, I do wonder like, why?

Why would I say yes? It's like, do you want to go mountaineering, Jason? Okay.

No, no. No, thanks. I have got myself in trouble in the past.

I remember I saw a friend and she said, well, it was a couple, a married couple. So they said, oh, we're moving this weekend. And before I even knew what happened, I'd ran out the room.

That's what I should have done. Before I knew what happened. I said, oh, I can help you move.

Why? So I gave up my whole Saturday. Now, it's a nice thing. They helped me move as well.

So that's nice. But it was a nice thing to do. But the amount of times I've done that, what I've just like offered myself, not offered myself, you know, but offered like, I'll do it.

I can help. See, I'm not getting many people. You've got a flash goal.

What's a flash goal? They want me to flash. View. Flash goal.

Three gifters and a heart me's to your live in 15 minutes. Achieve this optional goal to win a 24 hour live goal theme. Your current live goal will resume when the flash goal ends.

So I need three gifters send me send a heart me to my live in the next 15 minutes. I'll start now but I literally got no one on here at all. Achieve this goal.

One. Oh, I got one, have I? No. If someone can send me a heart me.

If there's anyone actually listening. It's got three different people is it? I don't feel I'm even going to get three different people on TikTok while I'm here because nobody knows who I am on here. I'm not as famous on TikTok as I am in my own head.

In my own little bedroom. I'm super famous here. Come on, please give me a give me a heart me.

Invisible people. Please, please, please. So yeah, I can invite people to join me, couldn't I? Invite people to give me a heart me.

How do I do that? But at the same time, I don't invite anyone to actually come onto the stream and talk because this is about me, baby. This is my time. So I said yes to going water skiing because he was also into water sports.

The difference is I didn't realize he was actually never mentioned water sports at any time until that moment. Oh, because he said, oh, my friend's going water skiing. Do you want to come? I didn't know he meant actually, like going water skiing.

But you might think, well, he wasn't going to be a sausage eating contest, was it? I know that. But I guess I thought I was just going to be watching. It's not a good idea to get undressed and to be completely because when those those wetsuits they're not warm, they just end up cold in the winter.

And I think I might got a cold. I might not have done as well. I can't remember.

I tell you, it's weird, though. A couple of nights ago, I did a recording a podcast or whatever. And it was hot in here.

Now, I still is a bit I feel quite cold in my body. Maybe it's because I'm reminiscing that time. Wow.

Yeah, I'm reminiscing. That's not good. It was so cold.

I was shivering like, oh, I mean, this is 17. I was 17 years old at the time. Hard to believe I was ever 17.

But I was. I was a 17 year old. Skinny.

I had to wear heavy boots and rocks in my in my pants pockets. I didn't blow away. I was so little.

I was honestly ridiculous. I remember the when I worked in a chip shop the. So I wasn't weak.

I'm not saying I was super strong, but I was probably stronger than I looked. And the. Potato.

Deliverer who would come once a week. He would get in a bag of potatoes, probably weighed as much as I did. All the 50 kilos are going to be more than about is a bag of potatoes, 50 kilos.

Probably not. Would it be that heavy? 20 kilos, 30 kilos. But it was heavy.

It's probably nearly as heavy as me. Probably not quite as heavy as me. But I was carrying it around.

And what he did is to chuck them at me. And I still managed to stop it like pushing me over. And admittedly, I had to prepare.

I put superglue on my bottom, my feet before he got there. But still, I still, you know, I succeeded. And I remember him being really surprised.

He said one day, I can't believe you just helped me. Literally, because he'd chucked them at me and then I walked them around and put them into the. The like the.

I don't know what is a shit. So he didn't really do much. He just chucked them off the lorry.

And he said, I can't believe you just can do that. You can carry that much. Without like really getting out of breath or out of sweat or anything.

And I heard this voice saying, I can't believe that. I can't, I can't. But I said, is that coming from? It was the bag of potatoes.

Agreeing, looking up at me. What the hell? How can you carry me? It's very strange. That's when I realized that maybe I needed medication.

So, right, I'm eight minutes, 54 minutes left to get three hearts and I've only got one. Three I heart use, I guess it's. Yeah, nothing, nothing.

If I just pin it, I'll just pin it onto the thing. I don't have to see it, do I? Trevor, if anyone's joining, please give me a couple of hearts, even if you're even if you're angry with me, even if I haven't fulfilled your every wish. I haven't helped you complete your life's goal.

Maybe help me just to get this. Because it means the world. It means everything to me, everything.

There's nothing more important in my life right now. So please, you know, I've been looking, I've been studying TikTok a bit, and got to be a little bit careful because it is very, very addictive. Which I didn't realize.

And I suppose, especially as I have no human contact, generally. So suddenly, I'm kind of listening in on other people's conversations, which isn't something that I'm really into, generally. At least I didn't think so.

And it's kind of weird how how so after watching movies, watching TV shows, and then you go on to something like TikTok, for example, and it's real people talking naturally, normal conversations. And it's so different from the scripted stuff that you see on TV. And even some of the reality shows, so I have a degree of scriptedness to them.

And I suppose that's why I like Big Brother and the reality shows that are unscripted because it's real people. But don't really watch any of the other reality shows. But I do I love Big Brother for that reason, because it's real human beings, and kind of dropping their, their guard, their persona to a degree.

I mean, I don't know, getting old, is it the older people drop their persona, or they just got it mastered so well, that it's stuck on. And they don't even have to work on it, it just stays with them. I don't know.

I struggle with a persona. I try and I don't know, I don't know what I am, I try to be a decent person, but I don't know if I'm, I don't know. I don't know.

I've never known. I don't know. I've never known how I am perceived.

And apparently, we're supposed to know how we're being perceived by other people. How? How? How? Anyone? Anyone for anyone? How am I supposed to know how other people are viewing me? What they think of me? No way of knowing. I mean, even if I'm with the person, in a room with a person, and I know them, I still don't know what they're thinking of me.

I still don't know how they view me. I don't know. Unless I, there's something I used to do when I was a kid, I would ask people.

Now I learned very early, don't ask people how they feel about you. Don't ask people if they like you. I mean, this is when I was nine.

And we've got another Jason on there. Well done, Jason. Hi, Jason.

Can you give me a heart, please? Please, because I need I need three hearts. If you can be really groovy. I appreciate that.

Hi. It's just if you can send me a heart you. It doesn't cost anything, does it? I don't think it's just apparently I've got this.

I got like four minutes to get three. So if anyone would like to thank you very much. So I was I remember I was in junior school and I asked this it was his name was Jason as well.

No Jason flower, or flowers. And I went up to him. And I was probably about nine, maybe 10.

And I said, do you like me? It's true. Do you like me? And he said, Did you just ask me if I love you? I said, No. I said, Do you love me? He said, Well, I said, No, do you like me? I mean, and he was, I don't know if he told everyone that I was saying that, asking him if he loved me.

I don't think he did. But like, I didn't say I said, Do you like me? And I realized that he can't. I might have done it a few more times.

Eventually, he left school to get away from me. He moved to America. But he didn't.

I don't know why I said that. Could I didn't know back then how people were perceiving me. And I think as a kid, they'll make fun, you know, they'll let you know what they think of how you look.

Like, you know, we got big ears. You're really short. I suppose now you look like a gremlin.

You know, just just nice stuff. Happy things, romantic things. But now it's a little bit, you know, just I don't know, just got an idea.

Because everyone sees things differently. It's we all see. Just, I never understood any women that like me, my whole life.

So like that really kind of very few women really like me. I mean, just you know, I'm old. So it's happened when I was younger.

Hi, Trevor and Ollie, if you can, if you can send me a heart me, I need three. Please, Jason, Ollie and Trevor. By the way, if you're listening to the podcast or watching the YouTube video, I am on also live on tic tac.

So thank you if anyone sent me a live a live. I love love not a love heart. Isn't it weird? I'm talking about asking people if they like me.

And now I'm asking people to send me love hearts. It's weird. I know it's not love hearts.

Just maybe it's perhaps that's not. I'm not asking the wrong. I'm asking the wrong people.

Harriet. Hi, Harriet. Charlotte.

I think what will happen. Oh, by the way, one of the most popular people on TikTok that I've seen is a bloke that looks like Mr. Bean. And he does magic tricks.

And he's got millions of followers, like millions. And that was it. I don't know.

I've looked there's a few people singing as well. Jesse Hi, Jesse. says I've seen a few singers.

I actually did a little singing event the other night. And I was singing for probably about an hour and a half on here. And then the neighbors knocked on the door.

And well, I thought was in neighbors. It was a place that neighbors called the police. They thought I was in pain, which I thought was a bit of a rude thing to say.

It's like it's like an old joke is now you in pain. But literally, they phoned the police. They thought I was being attacked.

Now I was singing. It's actually singing. Why don't you just knock on my door? See if I'm okay.

They said we were scared. So if anyone would like to send me I made myself laugh now. If anyone would like to send me a heart you whatever I don't know.

Okay. And the high for liking the life. Thanks, Amber.

Thank you. Thank you. I had no idea how other people perceived me and I still don't.

I remember the other day I was talking to someone and I literally it was like going back to being 18 or 19. Again, I was looking at this person. I said hello.

And then I ran out of things to talk about. Mind went blank. And I had nothing.

Yeet says kind of get a shout out. I love your content. Course you can yeet.

Hello yeet. Thanks for thanks for sending me the thanks for saying hello. Thanks for joining me.

And do you ever think those of you to come on here and do live streams? Do you ever wonder if someone that you know in real life is going to come across you? It's gonna like be honest, like to view it and think, Oh, I work with him. I was in hospital with him. I see him hiding in the you know, I mean, like just generally.

And I just thought I do wonder if real life people will kind of know me like humans. Although I did have this was about a few months ago. On YouTube.

I did a video because a lot of my videos now just audios turn into videos. But I've got hundreds of videos of me from 2007 onwards. And I had someone say to me, are you the Jason that used to work in the meat factory in the early to the early 90s? And I said, No, that would couldn't be me because I was busy building my modeling career.

Now I thought that was quite amusing thing to say, but he never got back to me. But I did remember him. He used to have long hair.

That's not the reason I remember him. Thank you. You're funny.

Thanks. Adam Jones 127362 says to me, How old are you? I am 55 years too old to be on here. 55 of 55, which means I'm probably technically 42 years too old to be on here probably.

But hey, I'm not on here other than to same age as my dad. Yay. Well done.

Yeah. I'm kind of getting on to being granddad age now. And I'll be honest with you.

I don't like it. Sometimes I forget how old I am. And I walk into the bathroom and I see no reflection to the mirror on the left hand side.

I don't know why I pointed out there's a mirror because how else would I see my reflection if there wasn't a mirror but so I see my mirror and it literally all I can say is I'm lucky as a toilet directly in front of it sometimes I have to pull my pants down because I get so upset and shocked because I forget what I look like. There was a time, right?

This is going to really this is going to surprise you. There was a time when a woman actually wanted to hold my hand.

Seriously, I know it's hard to believe. I mean, it's a few years ago, but she actually wanted to hold my hand. And I thought I remember like, I found my dad up and said, Dad, is this what sex is? If you knew my dad, he was I wouldn't.

I wouldn't find my dad up. Thank you, Adam. Thanks for that.

That's nice. Thank you. What do I do as a hobby? Yeet.

And to be fair, there was something I suppose I used to class as my hobby. But I don't do that so much that got old. I mean, pretty much just dust comes out now.

But I this is kind of something doing this. I've been doing recordings since 2006 podcast videos. So nearly 20 years.

I've been doing do you goon? Goon? Is that what you do when you make a funny face? Hi, Ellie. So I suppose by hobby, there's only two things in my life. Three things they sell.

Sad I am is no with your private area or stop it. Do a funny face. No.

I am doing a funny face. I actually did. Happened when I was at school, they all like everyone was doing funny faces.

A teacher was going around. Now you Jason not yet. Like I'm not doing it yet.

So I suppose my hobbies. I like to watch box sets. I like box.

Boxing is my hobby. Boxing. I like to watch boxing.

Yeah, boxing. Doing these podcasts is something that has been my I don't know. I don't know what they are anymore.

I've been doing these. Let Me Bore You To Sleep since 2018. And this is number 1500.

Let me check that that's correct. I forgot about that I was going to do something special for the 1500 episode. And in a way, I kind of have kind of 1499 was Friday.

This is 1500. That's how many Let Me Bore You To Sleep. I've done so.

So Adam says he's a fan boy. That's nice. How many does that work out 1500? That's I mean, literally one a day.

So it's 365 days a year. Divide that into 1500. That's 12 years worth of podcasts.

Wow. That's pretty good. And don't you reckon in it? I'm impressed.

I didn't think I could be this impressed by really am. 9 million years. Could be could be 9 million years.

I got my elder. I got my team behind me here on. What's it called? On tic tac.

And yeet and Adam. So they're they're my they're my special crew. They're my backup band.

I don't know. My supporters, Lucifer's joined. So yeah, I suppose watching boxing.

I do like box anything with boxing it really. Like watching box sets. They're not called box sets anymore.

I know. But you know, on Netflix, just finished watching Ozark last week. But I've not found anything to replace it with.

Adam says, I'm your friend. Okay, cool. You know, the thing is, people have different names on here.

So it could be. I mean, it could be my dad. For all I know, my dad's on tick tock.

Like, Oh, what's Jason up to now? I know who'd be end up being a Roman. Or let me type some weird things in it. Get him to say some weird names, some weird words.

Do you play with yourself? I'll see if he answers. C Mills. Hello.

So yeah, it's a little bit different from the normal let me boy to sleeps because I am kind of saying hello to people. And so I guess it takes a little bit of feedback from my Facebook, my Facebook group, Jason Newland's boring group, because I use my real name on here. And the my podcast listeners, I don't want to alienate my podcast listeners.

And it's taken me a long time to build up an audience. And so yeah, just let me know if I'm if if this is kind of a weird format. I understand.

But at the same time, I don't really want to ignore people watching. My beard needs shaving. I just realized I didn't realize what a mess.

I didn't used to be this gray. My beard used to be a lot darker. You see me when I was three.

So dark. Vinnie, what are you doing me? Vinnie's my little dog, Jack Russell. He's down on the ground on the ground.

And what is your weirdest name you've ever seen? He asks. He's a name that I struggle with. Right? I don't struggle with it.

But I just wonder, in places like Mexico, calling your son Jesus is okay. Now, no one in this country would call his son Jesus. It would not, it wouldn't happen.

I've never ever seen. I'm not saying it's never happened. But never ever known anyone that's actually called their kid Jesus.

Even calling your kid Elvis is kind of like a no no. There was one Elvis. Two if you include Costello.

But you know, Adolf is definitely not as popular as it used to be. But Jesus. And I had someone sort of qualify or excuse us.

No, no, no, it's Jesus. It's Jesus. It's Jesus.

It's spelled Jesus, j, e, s, u, s. But it's pronounced Jesus. Okay, so how do you say Jesus? How do you put when you say Jesus? How do you say it? We say Jesus. So it's Jesus, then isn't it? Oh, I forgot about that.

So it's like it is. So basically, you're naming your child Jesus. And which is fine.

It's nothing to do with me. But just we don't do that in this country. Can you imagine? I can't even honestly, I can't.

Imagine the reaction if I had a kid. Well, the granddad, I suppose. What's this great granddad doing with his great great grandchild? What's his name, granddad? Jesus.

Oh, I haven't got swearers. What's his name? His name is Jesus. No one would believe you.

I wouldn't believe it. So people in America, they they they call someone is called Jesus Jesus. But the fact is, when they're in their own country, they're being called Jesus.

Because Jesus is Jesus. Oh, never been so angry. Okay, fair enough.

What is the weirdest name? Do you believe in Jesus? I don't know. I've got no idea really. I wasn't around then.

And I've read a lot of books. I don't know what's what, you know? Apparently historical facts says that he did exist. I don't know.

I've heard a lot of lies over my years of my life. So I got no idea. That's the one thing that we don't learn when we're kids.

And it seems to be one of the hardest things for humans to say. Luckily, I'm an alien. So it makes no difference to me.

But for humans, it's this sentence. And if we learn if people learn it as little kids, and learn to continue saying it at the right time, as adults, the world would change. Do you want to know the sentences? Three words? I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. Very hard for people to say that.

So you each got to go so see you tomorrow. I might come back blimey. That's a bit loud.

I might come back again tomorrow at five. Is there a way of streaming to Facebook, YouTube, and tic tac, and Instagram all at the same time? Can you stream to Instagram? You can. So welcome.

Thanks to everyone that's visited today. So this is my 1500. Wow.

You know, when I started this back in 2018, I think it was February until the exact date. It's really sad, but I do have the date. It's not really that sad, is it? I mean, I dedicate my life to these recordings.

Even though they're not very good. Even though they're a bit rubbish, I still very dedicated to my craft. I'm hoping because it's taken me 20 years to be this bad.

I'm hoping that another 20 years I might actually be mildly competent. So the first Let Me Bore You To Sleep was the 27th of March 2018. Which Wow.

2018 was so 18 1920 2122 2324 25. So yes, seven and a half years. More than that, isn't it? So what, Dan, December, January, February, March, more than seven years and eight months.

Something like that. So hello, I think Susan. Hi, Susan.

Susan and Dexter. Hi, Dexter. So I was gonna say, yes, so 1500 episodes.

And do you sing asks Ruby? I do. Well, I attempt to. I think I can sing as well as I can tap dance.

And I don't know, it's it's one of those things singing, isn't it? Because I used to be able to sing. Can you sing us a Christmas song? Oh, why? No, man. How sweet.

Oh, no. Little Lord Jesus. See, did you like that? Was that everything you'd hoped it'd be? Have I fulfilled of a major Christmas, much brighter than it ever could have been before.

That was a man I thought you'd like it. I can sing a little bit, but not the way I used to be able to sing. And I can't play it to you now because I don't have it on it.

But I used to. I used to be able to sing. Yeah.

Can you sing at my wedding? No. But no. No, I don't like weddings.

No. I mean, here's me thinking you're flirting with me and now you're telling me you're getting married. I mean, you know, I mean, it's not a compliment.

It's not a compliment. Okay. That's good.

I don't mind. I wouldn't know what a compliment was anyway. I've never had one.

I've never had a compliment. I think when I was younger, I sung better than people thought I would. And now I'm older.

I just don't sing. I think people were surprised that I could sing. But it wasn't like spectacular.

I had quite a squeaky voice. I could do kind of the high notes. That kind of stuff, you know? Yeah.

Something just went blipped. Facebook. By the way, I've got a Facebook group called Jason Newland's Boring Group if you want to join.

There are all my podcasts on my website, jasonnewland.com. I forgot about that. And also Apple, Spotify, blah, blah, all that stuff. So what else has gone on today? Ain't been a lot, to be honest.

Not a lot. Oh, was that Ruby? Is it not a compliment? Was that an insult? Was it not a compliment? It's a compliment. Sorry.

It is a compliment. I apologise, Ruby. It's I thought you said it's not a compliment.

Can you say happy birthday to my friend Pat? Hi, Pat. Happy birthday. My eyes bulge out, don't they? Wow.

Happy birthday. I can actually if Ruby, if you still listen, you probably not now. If I can sing like this.

What's another one? What could I do? That's one song. I got to be a little bit careful because I don't want to get copyrighted on YouTube. Hi, Katie.

It's like, oh, see, that's that's a that's the weird thing. It's annoying though. I did a whole song, right? On a video I did.

And I didn't get copyright for it. Because apparently this didn't sound like it. I'll contact them and say, why have you not copyrighted me for that song that I did? And they said, what song? I said, I did an Elvis song.

Always on your mind was on my mind or whatever. And they said, well, we can listen to it. I said, can you? And they still didn't copyright it.

And I got back to him and said, did you listen to it? And he said, yeah. Why didn't you copyright it? Because it was rubbish. It's not about whether it's good or not.

It's why? Why didn't you? I copyrighted a song. They said, no, it was too bad to be classed as a copyright. What do you think someone's going to download it and sell it online on Spotify? Come on.

I said, that's just rude. So court has decided that I'm sand hole. I do have, I might have to get one of those hats.

The one that says I'm not the ones I might get. Yeah, maybe I'll dress up. I am at that part of my life where I am starting to look like Father Christmas.

So it's not fair. It's not fair. The weird thing about it.

I've always had this face. The beard's got greyer. But I've no get one that say center.

Yeah, probably would. What I need that I probably know who it is, isn't it? And I might get one. I might wear it outside.

I might wear it all the time. I could start a new craze. I could, couldn't I? I could actually start a new, a whole new thing.

Wearing weird headgear. And I'll be shaving my head soon. So I won't even have any hair.

I don't know why I said I won't even have any hair because the fact that I said I'm going to shave my head, kind of gave that information already kind of told you the same twice already, didn't I? There was no point to that. Any more questions? See, if I do stick to the same time, every day, five o'clock, every day, then what will happen? I will start to get people in that follow me already, like other places, maybe on YouTube or maybe, you know, on my podcasts on my website and stuff.

So if I do this for a year, I'll be looking up in the corner and I reckon I'll have at least four people listening or watching four people.

And that is impressive. Compared to one is I suppose, double D is joined high double D is gone now. Oh, never mind.

Sound like an interesting name. So it's Sunday today. Can you believe tomorrow is the first of December 2025.

First of December, which means 25 days, Christmas, 31 days, New Year. Is it 31 days in December? 30 days in December. 30 days, January, February, 40.

Let's have a check. 30 days. I think it's 30 days.

Juts Vlog. I don't know what that was. Hello, anyone if you joined.

Yeah, I know. December 31 days told you. Why would you question me? I'll drink water.

If you're wondering, if you're watching, you wonder why I was holding the bottom. It's not because it's heavy. It's because I didn't want it to drop on the microphone.

Because there's such a small gap between this microphone and that microphone. There's not a lot of room for maneuver. What is a live match? Oh, is that the battle thing? Right.

I might do I'm probably not going to do a battle. I don't know if I'll ever do one of them because it's well, first of all, I don't have any listeners or watchers. So there's no way I could win a battle.

It's basically when two people that are alive go together and compete. And the one with the most watches wins it like this supports them. Now I have I've got two people so I am probably one of the top tick tackers in the world at the moment.

Three, no two. Look like three of my eyesight. So I'm doing quite well.

I feel a bit like a superstar. Yeet is back. Ash is this ASMR? Oh, right.

It says here. Because there's been inactivity for five minutes. Can you still hear me then? Because it's weird.

It says it's been inactive for five minutes, or for a certain amount of time. It's gonna cut me off in five minutes time, which is strange, because I haven't really stopped talking the whole time. And I've been on air for about an hour.

Strange. Is this ASMR? It I don't know, really. It's not not necessarily it's it can be I mean, there's it's softly spoken.

That's just how I speak. Not whispering, although it might sound because I'm maybe a little bit away from the microphone. And hi em.

And I don't know. Really? Probably not. I mean, I could start tapping.

I don't know. Maybe. This is more.

And this. If you listen to this podcast, when it's in a podcast format, when you want to go to sleep, then that's what I mean. The podcast is called Let Me Bore You To Sleep.

It's also being it's designed to be useful for relaxing, for calming down. So if your mind is a bit overactive, we feel that your mind is overactive, generally, you know, looking at my funny face can be a distraction, or listening to my squeaky voice. So it's really just, or in some ways company.

Now, the videos I haven't, this is kind of live streaming is, it's not new to me, but it's kind of new. I haven't done it for a few years, not really. And when I did do it was on YouTube or on Facebook.

Hmm. So mainly I do face I do the podcasts, which I do most days. Most days.

I also do make hypnosis recordings as well. But I won't be doing those any hypnosis stuff live on here. Because unless it was like a group setting or something like that, you know, plus, you know, it's to this, this isn't to be listened to to fall asleep.

If you're watching it live, but if you're listening on the podcast, or watching the YouTube video, and you can safely close your eyes, then you might find yourself drifting. And as I said, this is number 1500. 1500.

Yeah, 1500. It's a lot, isn't it? It's a lot, a lot, lot, lot, lot more than I thought I would ever do of one kind of podcast. And I've got thousands.

I think I've got over 4000 videos on YouTube, which is just ridiculous, really. It's really ridiculous. But what I might start to do if I do do these videos regularly, like daily, what I might do is I've got some crumbs.

What I might do is no longer post the longer recordings onto my YouTube channel, and only have just the video. So I've got a couple of messages here. Maddy says say hi, Maddy, Kira and Myla.

Hello, Maddy, Kira and Myla. Hope you're well. Yasmin says crumbs.

Was it crumbs on my? Yeah, I was eating a biscuit earlier. And Adam Jones says I'm back. So hello.

So my two helpers, Adam Jones, and Yeet. They're my two co presenters. I don't let everyone join in.

I'm fine with that. However, Tic Tac did say it was going to kick me out in five minutes, because there was no activity, which isn't really in my hands, is it? I know. I suppose I could kind of like ask people to join me to co host, invite people and stuff.

But that isn't part of the podcast I'm doing. Doesn't mean it can't be in the future. If I get to know someone, and maybe we can do a double thing.

But yeah, I don't know. You know, I mean, in it, you get me. Swear down.

What time is it now? It's not bad. I've only used I got 66. Oh, I got a one.

I got 747. Love heart likes sent. Thank you.

I don't know where they all came from. So funny ads like two people say hello. Can I get a boy? I think he just did.

It depends where you go really. Dot dot dot dot dot dot dot. Spoke to you the other day, didn't I? Oh, yeah, not boy.

Sorry. I remember dot dot dot dot dot y h. What is old I don't be if you do y h and gbl and mb. I don't know what half of that stuff means.

I'll be honest, I don't. I got a neighbor who's 20. And sometimes she'll use that language like in the text.

And I like, what did that mean? Just to explain it to me. dos asks me, do I like cricket? I don't dislike cricket. To me, I think of cricket in the same way as I think of a plane taking off.

Some people love watching that. I'm really not not bothered. You know, I mean, just not really.

My sports boxing love boxing. Maisie says yes, Jason. Thank you, Maisie.

And dos is fair. I'd my this is my take on sport. Sometimes I'll be a little bit like, Oh, I don't like why do people do that? Why do they like that and stuff, you know? But generally, everyone's let them like what they like.

You know, if you like motor sports, motorboating, if you like war sports, sorry, I made myself laugh. And if you like boxing, if you like gymnastics, snooker, cricket, rugby, football, badminton, tennis, you know, I mean, canoeing, whatever, whatever you love, do it or watch it. If that's what you love, do it.

And that's that's how I see the world. Really. I can't understand motocross racing.

Watching it. I mean, I can understand doing something. I mean, I watch boxing.

I had this conversation because my brother loves motocross. And my stepmom was saying, Yeah, but he loves it. I said, Yeah, he said you love boxing.

I said, Yeah, but I can understand when someone want to get in a car and drive it fast. I kind of get that. But to watch someone driving fast, I don't, I don't really understand that.

Doesn't mean I'm against it, or I've got an issue with it. Just I don't understand it. And yeah, that was a whole conversation.

I don't know why I really told you about that. I think my issue is the noise. I don't like noise.

Cricket is calm. snooker, very calm. I like snooker.

I don't like it. But there's been times when I've been a bit like, not doing great. And sit in watching some snooker for a few hours.

It's been very relaxing. And sometimes I've benefited from that. The last time was about 2013.

Yeah, I did listen to quite a bit. I watched quite a bit of snooker. And you can close your eyes and still enjoy it.

Well, the calmness of it. Obviously, you can't really appreciate what's going on. It's just the sound of balls banging together.

It's all about snooker, by the way. And I said going back to my story of water sports, I said my boss invited me to go water skiing. I thought he was inviting me to go and watch it.

And I thought brilliant. I'll just watch him like mess up. It'd be funny because he didn't he'd never done it before.

I didn't realize that I was also included in the making a fool of myself. And he gave me this life jacket. He said, well, first of all, you got to do is get into the water.

And you got to get used to the water and the life jacket, make sure it works okay. Now the work that might you know, the life jacket is supposed to like, push you to one side. Now I had it on back to front.

So push me face would into the water. And I couldn't get up. I'm still there now.

It's I didn't like it. I said, get me out. Oh, actually, look, you know.

And I never went back. What did go back side to get my trainers and my shoes, but I didn't go back to I thought no, I didn't enjoy the experience. However, once I was dried off, and warmed back up, I think he had a flask of coffee or something.

I did, I could appreciate some of it. Because there was a bloke there that was water skiing. And he didn't even have any skis on.

To start with, I thought, I was just lazy. And he was literally skiing on his heels. I was amazing.

Like he was skiing on his heels of his feet. At one point, he went down to his knees, and he got back again onto his feet. And he turned around and went backwards.

I'm like, wow. And when he got out, I said to him, I said, I don't know much about this sport. This is, you know, the first time I've really had anything to do with water sports.

But I tell you what, that was what I saw you do then was amazing. He said, thank you. I said, I still got one thing to ask, though.

He said, like, well, I said, can you imagine how good you would be if you actually used skis? And he looked at me. What do you mean? I said, if you use water skis, you'd be amazing. Eddie May says, hi, Grandad.

If you think that's an insult, it's not. Oh, no. I look old.

I didn't know I looked old. I thought I looked, I thought I looked 23. Oh, no.

What am I going to do? It wasn't trying to insult. Okay. I'm not a granddad.

Anyway. I'm a I'm not even a dad. I'm a confirmed bachelor.

A non confirmed bachelor. I could transform myself right now. I'll be my adopt you be my adopted child.

Okay, cool. Only if I get a present. Depends how old you are.

Because I want a present. For every year you've been alive. And I want them all at the same time.

So I want a birthday present. A Christmas present. A Father's Day present.

Don't worry about cards unless there's money in them. So I want those three presents and Easter eggs for every single year that you've been on the planet. Then we can talk about being adopted.

Okay. Thank you. There are rules to this game.

I'm not rich. Are you that old? You need to be rich for that. That would be a lot, wouldn't it? That's what I said about my mom.

I've not seen my biological mom since I was six. I've not lived with her since I was probably five. And I think the reason she never got in contact with me is because the first thing I would say to her, I'd walk out of my flat and I'd look up and down the road.

And I'd say, Where are they, mum? Where are what, Jason, son? Where are all the lorries? What do you mean, all lorries? All the lorries full of presents that I've missed out on. I don't know why I'm looking side to side, probably giving a bit of visual like to the story. But I would be like full of presents and Easter eggs and chocolates and gifts for the last 51 years of my life.

Where are they? Give them to me, then you can like we can have a conversation about you being in my life. All right. I mean, she'd have to be my mom would have to be about 77 now, probably.

My mama. It's really weird. You might be watching now, you might know her, you might be her.

I think if she was out there watching this stuff, she'd have contacted me by now because I've been online for I've been online, online on love. I've been doing stuff online for 20 years, nearly. So just as long as I'm in your will.

Because you owe me. I do see the benefit of having kids and grandkids. Because my dad gets loads of presents, Christmas, birthdays.

You know, Father's Day, he just gets all this stuff from everyone. Like he gets presents from his kids. He gets presents from his stepkids.

He gets presents from his wife. He gets presents from his wife's family. He gets presents from his grandkids.

He gets presents from I don't know who else probably friends. But yeah, so he gets a lot of presents. I was gonna say from Roger down the road, but I don't know.

I don't know who Roger is. Eddie Mae, Eddie Mae, Eddie Mae, Eddie Mae, Eddie Mae. I can't see.

Eddie Mae. Hi, Grandad. Grandad, there used to be a song called Grandad.

Grandad, Grandad, you're lovely. You're just a dirty old man. Hi, good youth says hi.

Hi. You're right, Vinnie. See, if Vinnie would let me pick him up, I would let you show him.

But unfortunately, as soon as I go to pick him up, he barks and he growls. Have you heard that song Negro? Oh, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, good youth. That was naughty of you to try and say that.

Dee, dee, dee, why? I can't believe I fell for that. So no, I've not. I've not heard of that song.

It's, I guess it's done to do farming, is it? Some kind of Scottish farming? Oh, we're in the ninja. I noticed that when I came on in the other day. A lot of people getting off trying to get me to say things that are weird.

The thing is, if you just be patient, you'll get your wish anyway, because I'm going to say weird stuff. Anyway, you don't need me to. I don't need you to give me weird things to say, because that's generally what I do.

You know, I mean, in it. I think this is probably the end of the recording. It's half past six.

I started this just after half past, not just after five ish, ish, ish, ish, ish, ish. Phoebe says hi. I realize those listen, you can listen to this as a podcast, listen to the whole thing.

Because you won't be able to watch this back because once it's stopped, it'll be ended. You can watch it on YouTube, my YouTube channel, Jason Newland. Or you can watch it on my podcast.

Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Oh, big gas. That was nice.

Or you can watch it. You can listen to it on my website, jasonnewland.com. See, Phoebe 899 says hi. Emily Varley.

Emily Varley. There was a famous person called Varley. Who is that? I don't know.

There was. There was a famous person called Varley. I don't know who it was, though.

I think it was a comedian. Hmm. Me, me, me.

Anyone knows about what the enigma is? Enigma is coming. Enigma is a movie or something. Anyway.

So I've never done water sports since. Not on purpose anyway. And had the occasional accident.

No, let's not go there. So I basically, as I said, I haven't done much today. It's Sunday.

I've got tomorrow is the first of December. Oh, it's my friend's birthday tomorrow. My friend Noel.

So I need to contact him. I might phone him tonight rather than tomorrow because I imagine he'll be out like in a restaurant or doing stuff tomorrow. I don't know.

I don't know. When I fall in love, it will be for three minutes. Who am I talking to? That's a good question.

Who am I talking to is my audience. This is T.H.O.N. 4D 4 whatever. I'm talking to.

I'm recording. This podcast for my podcast audience. And also recording a video.

So a camera over there for my YouTube channel. So what I'm doing at the same time is live stream on Tiki Tak. So can you congratulate? I will do that.

I've got to read out the whole thing before I say it now because someone got me to say a naughty word. Nearly did. Emily, can you congratulate Molly Helen Reynolds on her first baby, please? Congratulations.

Congratulations on your first baby. There's more to the sentence, but it's only got she's. That's it.

So congratulating congratulate to anyone. So someone says love you and leave you all by yourself. Thank you.

She's having a girl. Well done, Emily. Helen.

Congratulations to all all the people having babies. It's a wow. It's something that I've never, never been through.

I've been constipated before. That was hard. But your brother's a dad.

Well, congratulations, Emily. So you got a niece, I think. Well, nephew, niece, niece, you got a niece.

Can I sing please, please? See, there you go. Is that what you wanted? Have I made your day? I bet it was hard. I'm confused now.

Someone saying FC says thank you. Yeah. One more time.

One more time. Remember that song? As good as Bay. I don't know what that means.

So you're naming people. I don't know who people are. So I don't want to mention it just in case it's some kind of I don't know.

Who knows, whoever's watching on this, who knows how to screen record the whole I mean, I am video in it. So technically, I don't need to screen record it. But wow.

Now, those watching on YouTube and those listening on the podcast will not be aware that Vinnie just went nutty. Maybe jump out of my skin. And there was no one at the door.

So apologies to anyone that's watching on tic tac, because it must have been loud. And I forgot how to to mute the microphone. Oh, I got to press this.

There's a bomb. Okay, I can just press that. Now it's mute.

Now it's not mute. Okay. Wow.

That was really loud. Really loud. So apologies if anyone's still listening.

I'm surprised. I mean, oh, the windows are closed as well. So it's not like he could hear something from outside.

I don't know what's going on. Very, very strange. So I'm going to bring an end to this conversation.

Just say thank you. Remember, if you want to listen to the whole podcast, you can do go to my website, jasonnewland.com. Or you can listen to Let Me Bore You To Sleep on Spotify on Apple podcasts, wherever you listen to your podcasts. Or you can go to YouTube and watch the video.

So hey, that's just to the one person listening now. So thank you very much. Ava is on there at the moment, I think.

Hello, Ava. Should I give you a wave? Do you want to give me a wave before I go? No. Yeah.

No. No. Come on.

Come on. Give me a wave. Give me a little wave, wave.

A little wave, wave. Come on. So I'm going to go.

Thank you for listening. Remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy. And be gentle with yourself.

You deserve to feel safe. Lots of love. Bye.