(Short Voice Only) Autism Tests Monday’s Sleepy Boring Objects #1628 LMBYTS

How to let me bore you to sleep. My name is Jason Newland and please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. Today is Monday's Sleepy Borrowing Objects.

Not again. Monday's Borrowing Objects again. Only seems like a week ago.

I know. I know. I don't know what I'm going to talk about.

But before I try and figure that out, I just mentioned that I do have a website called jasonnewland.com where my recordings are available to download for free. I have a Facebook group called Jason Newland's Borrowing Group. I'm also on YouTube, so all my recordings get uploaded to YouTube.

I do six versions of each recording, three with music, three without, of various lengths. And I upload one new recording each day on TikTok, Instagram and X. I do believe that's all the information I need to tell you. Other than I have been, well, I started a new recording recently, a new podcast, sorry, called Breaking Free from Control and Manipulation.

So I've been working quite hard on that. Well, hard. I've been making recordings.

And I think I've done 19 now. So yeah, they're also available on all the main podcasts, just as this podcast is available. My words aren't working today.

They, all the main podcast hosts, such as Spotify, Apple Podcasts, etc. And my podcasts are available on all of those. Just say thank you to Rachel, Miss Rachel 1709, who says thank you for the therapy and restful sleep, peace and support from Australia.

And that was for my recording, Rebuilding Self-Trust, Breaking Free from Control and Manipulation. So thank you, Rachel. Also, while I'm on messages, I do need to say a big thank you to Shantani for your PayPal gift.

Thank you very much. And also to Kim, for your PayPal gift. Thank you very much, Kim.

So Kim wrote, super appreciative, super appreciative, Jason. Thank you. Oh, I just realized.

It's the person that left me the message on YouTube. I'm glad you did that. Because honestly, I'm talking to Kim now.

Now I can say thank you to you on YouTube. So thank you for the for the gift. Honestly, if you do send me a PayPal gift, shall I start again? And it's an old thing.

My nan used to say, I'll go and put my teeth back in. I'll tell you what it is, right? I hope that's all it is. I'm not got some kind of brain thing going on.

Well, I know I've got a brain thing going on. Like me, I was born with it. But I can literally go days without talking to anyone.

Apart from maybe the odd conversation in the park. But sometimes if it's raining, like today, it's raining, I don't see anyone. So I'm literally all day without having a conversation.

And I make a podcast and it's almost like I forget how to talk. I mean, sometimes I make a recording and especially the more serious stuff. Where I have to be pretty careful with my wording.

And I made an attempt at saying a word just three times and it came out different each time. What's going on? Sometimes I just struggle to pronounce words. Although the other day I was with a friend and I was struggling to pronounce a word.

And I got very anxious to be honest. And once once I got into that zone, there was no way I was going to pronounce it. I knew how to pronounce it.

It's just I got, you know, in that zone of like, oh, you know what I mean? So yeah, if you do send me a PayPal gift, I do want to be able to say thank you to you. But unfortunately, the PayPal doesn't always give an email address that I can contact. So if you have maybe you can put your email address in with a message or something or if you're on YouTube or just say it's.

If you're on my Facebook group, you know, just makes it a little bit easier so that I can thank you because I don't like to I don't want anyone to think that I'm not saying thank you for gifts because I am thankful. In fact, I'm thankful for anyone that listens, genuinely. I mean, sometimes I sit here and I really do feel a flood of thankfulness.

Now that might sounded like I was just being sarcastic and I wasn't. I've realized it sounded a bit insincere, even to myself. Because to me, that sounded like I just said, yeah, sometimes I sit here and I just like, oh, I feel so thankful.

Oh, oh, I'm also thankful. Genuinely, so now I can't even be serious. Genuinely, I am because doing this has given me a focus and purpose in life.

Now, I realize I created it, you know, 20 years ago, I started doing these recordings. There was no audience. I didn't even know that anybody else even did this stuff.

And YouTube wasn't about it, where it wasn't popular at that time. Facebook wasn't really popular. It wasn't, you know, we had MySpace.

That was it. So, but if I hadn't had an audience, and I've had some pretty, very loyal followers over the years. Followers, that sounds a bit too cult, cult like, doesn't it? Followers, but you know what I mean, harem, my harem.

And then I wouldn't have stuck at this because probably 99.9% of the people that listen to my recordings, never let me know that they're listening, never contact me. Which is fine, because this, you know, there's no rules to say they have to. So it's nice that I get a few people that do.

I say 99.9, probably 99% don't, 1% probably do. So I'm just thinking I do get some messages. I don't know what the percentage is.

99.5% don't, maybe. I'm just thinking, I mean, in a week. Okay, in a month.

In a week or a month, should I do it by week or month? In a month. Okay, so Spreaker. Yeah, I found a way to talk about the stats.

I found that was quite clever of me, wasn't it? Don't you think? It's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, are we really? So if we go to insights, all time last 30 days. Okay, so I've got three.

I use, I pay for three podcast services. I pay for Spreaker. And I've got two SoundClouds.

Because you can't have more than one podcast on SoundCloud. So I've got two SoundCloud podcasts. So with Spreaker, the last 30 days, we've got 28,090 downloads.

So I'll just add this up, shall we? It's a guess. Well, that bit's not a guess, but the next bit will be. So if we just go 28,000 plus on SoundCloud, 8,000, 8,000 plus the other SoundClouds about 6,000.

So I'm getting 40, this last 30 days, put it 42,000 plays or downloads, whatever you want to call them. And, and that's and then on on YouTube, the last 30 days, we can add all this up. It's a ballpark figure.

And I've never understood that term. Anyone? Anyone? Ballpark. Okay, so and I've got another 3,300.

So plus 3,300 on YouTube. So that's 45,300. And I've got like down listens of my recordings, whether it's on YouTube or my podcasts.

The amount of messages I've had on my YouTube channel, I can show you actually. Responders say unresponded. Newest.

Apply. So if we go through, this is the last 28 days. Source of date today, the 8th of June, 8th of June.

I went on Facebook. Do you ever go on Facebook and look up someone from school? Not from your own school that is, like when you was a kid, I mean, I sounded wrong then for a minute, didn't I? I remember some of the names of kids that I went to school with, that I was friends with. And it's just, I had a friend called Carl.

Not Carl. Well, I did have a friend called Carl, but I had a friend called Stefan. And he was the coolest bloke and he was, he was a man at school.

He was one of those that were already, he was already basically a physically a man when he went into first year of high school. And me and him got on really well, just always did. There's no real reason for it because we were very different.

But we just did get on really well. And we both started karate at the same time. In fact, I followed him.

He said to me, I'm going to karate tonight to see my brother because his brother had started. And I said, can I come along? And he said, no. And I went anyway.

And then we, yeah, and then we used to go. Then we started going every week, Tuesday and Thursdays. And during the break time, we'd be doing karate with each other.

And the thing I didn't miss, I didn't, I didn't mention that he was like one of the tough kids. So he was one of the toughest kids in the school, pretty much. And so it was quite nice because I was doing my karate, knowing that like if he had, it taught me to defend myself really, really good.

Because if he accidentally hit me, I knew I was going to get hurt. Because he was twice my size. But he never tried to hurt me.

It was, he's one of these people that, I haven't met many people that were nicer than him in the last 40 years. Genuinely, he's, I'm not saying I haven't not met a lot of nice people because I have. I genuinely have.

But he was lovely. He was like a really, a no BS person, if you know what I mean. Like, didn't take crap.

But at the same time, didn't give it. I never gave it. Never took it, but never gave it.

And just straight, straight person. But also, just really lovely. And I saw a picture of him with his wife or his girlfriend and he doesn't look like I remember him.

I'm trying to kind of, mind you, this was from like quite a few years ago, the last post. Because a lot of people don't use Facebook anymore, do they? But he was, it's like, he doesn't look as tall as he did when we was at school. I don't know if that means his wife or his girlfriend was fairly tall.

She might have had high heels on or something. But to me, he was always like a giant. Because he was a good 6'2", maybe 6'3", at school, you know, when we was teenagers.

So I just assumed that he had maybe got taller. But what the weird thing happened is when I left school, I don't know if this is weird or not, but I was in, I was kind of like in no man's land. Because the family household ended quite abruptly.

And I was living with my stepmum's mother, with my stepmum's, or my little brother, and I was sleeping on the floor in the, on a bed, like a camper bed thing, in the living room. My stepmum wouldn't let me stay in her bed. I said, she said, no, I said, well, what if, what if I stay in your bed and you sleep in the camper, the camper bed in the living room? Because I thought the problem she had was me sharing a bed with her.

No, I said, but you've got a double bed, it's lovely, comfortable. And she was my nan, you know, there's nothing weird about it. Because at the time, when I first moved in there, we got on really well.

After living there for about five months, our relationship was at a point where we never spoke to each other again. We just, we fell out. Because it was, there was not enough room in that flat.

Basically, if you've got someone living in the living room on a camper bed, camper bed, camper bed, in your home, and you're used to having it all to yourself, and suddenly you've got your grown daughter, who's 30 or whatever, your grandchild, and your other 15 year old grandchild, which I kind of was at the time, it was too much. I didn't appreciate that. I was more kind of thinking about my, my perspective.

But you know, as I got older, I've been able to, it's taken me 40 years, but I kind of realised that it must have been quite difficult for her. And yeah, we didn't, we didn't get on so well. Because she'd come in and just turn the TV off.

It's too late, turn the TV, she'd just come in and she'd turn it off while I was watching it. I mean, sometimes she'd turn off while I was asleep, but she'd turn off when I was watching it. And I can't imagine anyone doing that.

I can't imagine doing that to anybody. Like, in the world, someone's watching TV and you walk up and turn the TV off while they're watching it, and expect that to sort of go unnoticed. And, yeah, I mean, I was, I like to think that I was being considerate, but I possibly wasn't.

Because again, I was 15 years old. I might not have been as considerate as, I think I was quite considerate in my home, my child, you know, where I lived with my three brothers and that. There was consideration there.

But I probably, because I didn't know how to act correctly with my step grandmother. It was, yeah, I think it was just a difficult kind of situation. But anyway, I'm looking at how many people have sent me a message in the last month on YouTube.

All right. Okay, so we've got one, two. I'm going to do real messages, not ones from Sebastian, okay? So one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10, 11, 12, 13.

And five, and five people sent me more than one message. So 13 messages in 30 days, or 28 days. But that's not 30 people.

It's probably about 20 people, probably about 15 people. Really Vinnie? Can you make a bit more noise, please? Thank you. Messages on YouTube.

How many messages have I done on YouTube? As I've done that, it's 13. 13 messages. Where else do I get messages? I don't, do I really? I've got one on SoundCloud.

And I've had a couple sent directly to my inbox, which is Jason Newland at Hotmail.co.uk. So I've had a couple of messages in the last, what is this? Okay. That's, I probably had one, two. But if I go for different people, so one, well, okay.

No, I think it's about one, 36. I don't know. One, one, one.

Yeah, I can't find any others. There might be some there. But that gives you an idea of kind of the, the messages I get, or the comments I get.

It's tiny, tiny perspective. So I've had probably 15, 16 people, maybe 15 people sent me messages out of 45,300 listens. How do I work out what percentage that is? Divided by 15? Would that be it? No, I don't know.

I mean, it's clearly very, very small amount. So, I know I did get, no, I got, I'm forgetting the important place, my Facebook group. Of course, I get messages on there, don't I? I apologize.

I also need to say, um, just a big send in love to Boston Chicky, who's really going through it at the moment. So if you've, if you know she's, who she is on the Facebook group. And right, so I have had messages.

I'm just looking through. So the last 30 days. So Karen said that she liked the, the breaking free from control and manipulation.

I also got a lovely comment. But that was from YouTube. So I already posted that.

Okay, so that's the only one I could find. But there's still, oh no, because there was, last night, what? I'll just log myself out there. I'll just look at this.

Mike posted something 26th of May. So June, yeah, looking up the different Jason Newlands. I don't know if you had the one, but there was a cage fighter or MMA fighter called Jason Newland as well.

But if you go into Google, let's say this is, if I go into private, that means it's not like copying what I've already done. So if I go into private, new window private. Yeah, this is in Microsoft Bing.

So if I put in my name, not UK, not anyone, just my name. And my Apple podcast comes up at the top. YouTube videos, my YouTube channel, Facebook group, my Facebook page, Jason Newland Hypnotist, 25,453 likes.

Wow. No interaction at all on there. I post every day and hardly get, I get the occasional like.

Then my website, then get podcast, pod scan FM, all my stuff, Spreaker. And it gives me a couple of other options. Jason Newland hypnosis for sleeping, Jason Newland hypnosis, Jason Newland episodes, Jason Newland podcast.

And then at the bottom, this for, this is for a different Jason Newland, Jason Newland, MD nationwide, Columbia, Ohio, Jason Newland National Children's Hospital. So yeah, I discovered him during the lockdown period, because he was doing stuff on there. Oh, is that all that's coming up? I know loads coming up.

So yeah, it's basically me. Not all the way through, there's an MMA fighter on the third page. And, but yeah, it's mainly me on there.

So if I had to go to Google, do the same. Google.com, accept all, Jason. Okay, my website comes up at the top, this on Google, Spotify, my Spotify channel, let me bore you to sleep YouTube channel, Apple podcasts.

My website again. Don't know why it's coming up twice. Facebook, my Facebook page, Jason Newland pod hypnotist, Spreaker.

And then there's some stuff about the other Jason Newland, the doctor, two for him. And then you come back to me again on the next page, podcasts. And then you go back to Jason G. Newland, who is the is the doctor.

Then back to me again, Instagram, YouTube, IMB, IMDB. Hockey news. There's a Jason Newland is the site editor and reporter for the hockey news, Columbus Blue Jackets site.

And then my website again, YouTube, Spotify, back to the doctor again. Then another page. Yeah, it's the doctor this time, LinkedIn, the doctor again.

Then there's someone called Jameson Newlander, Jameson Newlander. So I don't know what that's about. Stream hypnosis for sleep and deeply music.

So that's my SoundCloud. And then my website again, YouTube. My ex.

And a couple of other things on there. So yeah, it keeps coming back to me. But the further we get, what notes keep coming back to me again? Oh, listeners reviews.

Oh, there's a question here. Page not found. Oh, no.

Damn it. I think I messed up a little bit. I think, I think, I think, I think, I think.

I don't just think, I know. Because I swapped. Oh.

Basically, what I did is I changed my website. Still Jason Newland.com, but I changed it to the Shopify. Because I'm kind of thinking more long term now.

But the pages from the other side aren't coming up, which included reviews. That's why I got to stop making change. Yeah, I need to make some changes though.

And I just said I got to stop making changes. But there's some other changes I need to make. What's another search engine? Search engine.

Duck, duck, go. So we'll try this one. I don't want to download it.

So just search my name on this page. See what comes up. Duck, duck, go.

Yeah, so this is boring objects. Me searching for my name on search engines. Stress and pain relief podcast.

So that's me. Let me boil you to sleep. YouTube, Facebook page.

My website, Jason Newland.com. But then that's the playlist. So that's not coming up because it's the old site. Apple podcast.

Let me boil your pain away. Yeah, that's good. Oh, OK, fair enough.

Yeah, I remember what I did. That's all right. Yeah, I need to sort that one out.

YouTube, LinkedIn. Get podcast. It's a LinkedIn.

I'm never on there because I don't think I am anyway. Get podcast, short music, 1617. Let me boil you to sleep.

Electoral roll register. Wow, I wonder if, no. Will it have me on there? I don't think so.

That'd be weird. I think you can get people's details from a registration number online. If you put the registration number, you have to pay for it.

But I think there is. No way. I'm coming up.

That's not right. Continue with Google. Continue with Facebook.

All right, I can't do that because I'm in private, so it's not working. Although I'm going to go back to that because I want to see. That's strange.

So why other occupants? I do wonder. It makes me wonder. Like, there's a few new, I'm not the only Newland on the planet, you know.

I know we've already established that at the beginning, but. Jason, there's quite a few Jason Newlands on here. Wow, wow.

So, yeah, I didn't realize that the, it's an electrical roll. The electrical roll thing. And I'm down from 25 years ago.

I don't live there no more. No. That's very strange.

Very, very, very, very strange. Beep beep. Shall I look up my mum? Shall I? I don't know what her surname is now.

Her first name was Francesca. Francesca. So this is, I wonder when this was from? Sorry, I'm just, just enjoying my own life now and I'm just looking through stuff.

Enjoying my own life. Enjoying my own, I forgot you were there. I do, I do.

Apologize ish. Wow. Which means I can now search that person.

It's really weird. Because now I can see. Who she's living with.

On the electoral register. Who's that? Who's Tom? Yeah. I would have thought that stuff like this would be.

Private. You know what I mean? Private, not, not like, yeah, private. Did I get the results of the, um, that test I did online? I did an autism test online just to, it was a short test, it wasn't like a full thing, but I just, um.

I remember years ago, because. Back in 2002, November, when I first started having, um, difficulties with stress and stuff. Actually, it wasn't the first time, but when it was.

Yeah, it wasn't good. Um, it was a challenging period. And I started looking for reasons, I tried, I started looking for, I tried to explain it, I guess, to myself.

So I read quite a few books and the one thing that. Sort of jumped out was. Well, at the time, Asperger's or high function Asperger's and.

Although Asperger's, I think is high function autism. But now that word is not used anymore, apparently. It's.

Which is a, I don't know if it's a shame because Hans Asperger, I think it was Hans. The very quite well known in that industry. And he wrote books on it and he studied people and he probably very much.

Could be credited for bringing adult autism into the public focus. So I started doing online tests about 25 years ago. Or 23 years ago, probably about 2003.

And. And the tests are big, they haven't really changed. I mean, these were, these were tests that weren't like professional.

Organizations, but I went on to the autistic organization for the UK. I think it's called Autism UK or something. And the test was pretty much just the same.

And it's the same answers. And. I remember I was on a retreat.

It was a pain relief retreat using mindfulness. I think it's called body, body work retreat. So it's using meditation, mindfulness.

In order to calm down the mind, calm down the body. And deal with, you know, chronic pain and stuff. So.

And I remember I was sitting there. Opposite someone who was at a table. It was a big long table.

And it was a female. Community. So that the retreat was right.

It was basically a female Buddhist retreat. But they allowed it to be used by both sexes for this occasion. And I was sitting opposite a man.

And a man, a man. And he had, I don't know why, but I just remember him having bread in his hand. Because the food was, there was a lot of soup.

You know, I didn't, I definitely wasn't going to put any weight on being there. And we, anyway, it's not really part of the story. But he, we got talking and I told him.

You know, I was partly, the reason I was there really wasn't for myself. It was because of my intense interest in helping people with chronic pain. This was in 2005.

And I'd already launched my free pain relief service in 2004. But, you know, I've got no takers. So I kind of, I didn't give up on it, but I kind of put it on hold.

And then 2006, relaunched it and pumped a little bit of money into it to relaunch it and advertised and yeah, then it kind of took off. So I'm having this conversation with this man. And I suppose we're trying to get to know each other.

And he said, what do you do? I said, I work in insurance. Also do hypnosis as well. And he said, do you want to know what I do? I said, not really.

I really do. Do I need to know? Is it going to affect my life? I didn't say that. I said, yeah, what do you do? He said, I work with autistic people.

I said, okay, cool. And at this point, I'd read probably quite a few books. Well, not probably, I had read quite a few books on adult autism.

Not because, you know, obviously, I mean, now I'll say obviously, but there's the autism spectrum is now classed as, isn't it? And I didn't know, I knew very little about the actual autistic children and people with severe autism. I knew very little about that. And I wasn't interested in that.

Not because I don't care. It was just, I was interested in myself. And I was trying to find out about myself.

And at the time, there seemed to be severe autism, and then adults with Asperger's, various sort of degrees. But they didn't seem to be that like midway. It seemed very, very, it seemed quite limited and quite fixed.

And the way it was explained, for me anyway, and I found the like the children, well, people myself, just children, people that have severe autism, I didn't, I never really met any. That's not true. I've met a couple, actually.

Yeah, I've met a couple that would probably would be at the time classes Asperger's. And the only reason I remember them, and I knew nothing about autism at this time, other than what I'd seen on telly. This is back in the 90s.

Both of them were being picked on. And I came to their defense. And because one was so open, but he clearly he was, I don't know how to word it without sounding rude, so I'm not going to try and do that.

Because I don't want to sound rude, because I actually liked him. But he, he was saying stuff that is not socially acceptable. If that makes sense.

But I used to say stuff that wasn't socially acceptable as well. But a lot of the time in my 20s, I did it on purpose just to wind people up. When I was a kid, I didn't know.

But this was on a different level, like real different level. And he Yeah, so I kind of looked after him, because he was working in a place I worked. And then when I did my first insurance, my first sales job, there was a lady there who literally just sat on her own, didn't talk to anyone, you could say maybe she was shy.

But from what I've learned, after the event, I think there might, I'm not a doctor, and I can't diagnose anyone for anything. But I think there was a good chance she may have been autistic, like Asperger's or whatever you want to call it. And again, she was being made fun of, because of the way she was acting, because she wasn't her communication was, it wasn't acceptable to those around her.

Yeah, on the phone, she was really good. It's kind of a different thing. And she just had the skill on the phone.

But in person, she didn't. And people were having a go at her for being rude. So I defend her.

And she said to me, I remember saying to her, to me, she pulled me aside, because there was, it happened like three times, just during the break time, couple of people, the same person twice. And I said, that's enough, just leave her alone, man. Not confrontationally, just at the time, I would make fun of them.

So if they said one rude thing to her, I'd say 10 rude things to him or her, depending who it was, you know, it was a man or woman. So they would stop. So I turn it back on the other person.

And she came up to me, I figured, oh, she must be full appreciative of that, you know, she came up to me and she said, you do know, I'm never going to sleep with you. And I said, I don't, I don't, what? So I wasn't helping you out for that. What, never? No, I didn't.

It never happened, I don't know why I said it, I don't know why I said it. But I've always felt ever since I was a kid, like a little kid, I felt very protective towards people that weren't necessarily able to defend themselves. Bearing in mind, I was a tiny child.

So it's not like I was big and strong and tough. But if I saw someone being, not even picked on, but just being taken advantage of or something like that, I always had to get involved. And yeah, I just couldn't help it, it was just a natural instinct.

It's not because I'm nice, it's just, I don't know what it is. I've got no idea why, because it's put me in trouble a few times. It's just not something I like, I just, there's no need for it, is there? You know what I mean? Innit? Oh, Facebook, Facebook.

So, oh, okay. So what am I doing? Messages now. I'll look at the different Jason Newlands.

Let's make here messages. I don't even know what I could call this. I don't know, really.

It's a bit strange. I mean, what if I actually, what have I talked about in this recording? Oh, yeah. So, oh, I looked up, yeah.

So I went on to the Asperger's, I think it was the Asperger's website. Do you really have to do that, Vinny? And I filled some of the questions. So if I go into autism, and in fact, if I just go into the, it should just come up, autism.org.uk. So this is the National Autistic Society.

And, yeah, this bloke who sat at the table at the retreat, I said, well, I've been wondering if I've got kind of autistic traits. And he completely blew me out of the water. He said, nope.

He stood up on the table, took his pants down. No, you don't have autism. I work with autistic people.

I know everything there is to know about autism. And you, my friend, are not autistic. He actually pronounced the word correctly.

It was me that got it wrong just then. And I felt a little bit dismissed, if I'm honest. But then he wasn't a diagnotician.

He was a care worker looking after people with severe autism. So I don't think he could really, he didn't, maybe, yeah, that's where he was going. It's like almost he had his view and his experience of what that was without having experienced maybe what it also is in a different circumstance.

Let's say with an adult who's holding down a job and got a family but has problems with communication and, you know, such and such. And back then there was a lot less known about it. I mean, it's a bit like Tourette's.

Tourette's is now, I can't speak for everyone, obviously, but I'd say the majority of adults know what Tourette's is now. They might not know exactly what it is, but they've heard of it. They know, from the very least, it involves uncontrollable verbal or physical twitches or stuff like that.

I mean, one of my bestest friends in the whole wide world has got Tourette's and, or has had it all his life, pretty much. I think it came on when he was about seven or eight. But he didn't get diagnosed till he was 40.

So, yeah, I didn't know he had Tourette's when I first met him. And he's the one that owns the comedy club. And I actually went on stage and did a Tourette's joke because I'd watched a Tourette's documentary the day before, or the night before, and he didn't like me.

And I didn't know why he didn't like me, because I didn't know he had Tourette's. Because he wasn't like shouting out swear words, which was the cliche, what Tourette's is. And it's not just that.

Sometimes it can be, but he doesn't do that. It's different times, different things, different circumstances and everything. But he wasn't what I thought after watching that documentary.

But I've seen someone with severe Tourette's walking through Stratford shopping centre, shouting out the worst word you can say. Bearing in mind how multicultural Stratford was, or still is, probably more multicultural back then than it is now, I reckon. How he got away with it, and he didn't mean to do it.

Obviously, he didn't want to do it, but he just couldn't control it. And that's the thing. You deal with someone with Tourette's, you're dealing with some of the toughest people, you'll ever meet.

And I'm not talking about physically tough, but mentally strong. Because they've had to deal with something like that, and gone through childhood and school, education, with a lot of people not knowing what it was or what it is. Even now, even with the education we have, still millions of people probably don't know what it is.

And I see someone shouting out stuff. A good example would be the BAFTA awards recently, a few months back. And it was the whole situation.

The only people at fault was the TV channel that didn't edit it out. That was it. There was no one else at fault there.

And you might say, well, why was he, why was a Tourette's person invited to a live ceremony? Well, his film, the film about his life was nominated for BAFTAs. So he had every right to be there. I think you'd probably agree with that one.

Every right. He's, you know, it's called I Swear, the movie. I've seen, I haven't seen the whole thing.

But parts of it very, almost, yeah, got me almost in tears, actually. So, yes, if you don't know what happened, you probably do. If you don't, basically, one of the stars of, oh, it's the movie, the vampire movie.

I forget. I personally, I didn't think much of the movie when I watched it. It wasn't, I didn't even know it's a vampire movie.

Until, like, halfway through. Because it was just, in fact, I probably preferred the bit before the vampires arrived. Because of the, it was, I think I quite liked that bit.

Yeah. Because it's like a bunch of blues singers and a business, two twins, a businessman, and they're opening, I don't know, like a nightclub. And this is based in, I don't know what years, 100 years ago or something, in the backwaters of America.

And there is, it might have been 100 years ago. It might be in the 1950s or 40s, 30s, something like that. Which is 100 years ago, isn't it, actually, nearly.

So that bit was good, because it's very, it seemed quite genuine, the way the whole thing was put together. The vehicles, all the vehicles, and the clothing, and the way they were talking, and yeah, the atmosphere was good. Anyway, and then vampires popped up, and it got, I don't know, just, I didn't dislike it.

I just found it just, once the vampires arrived, I didn't find it at all thrilling or anything. It's, maybe it's just, I've seen so many vampire movies over the years, that it's quite difficult to, for me, it's been quite difficult for any horror movie to pop up where they have surprises. I mean, it does, you know, occasionally there is one, but so, I don't want to say systematic or like, got the same kind of layout and plot.

But to be original, I think is, it can be quite difficult, I think, especially with big budget movies. I think originality will come in small budget movies, but then no one gets to see them because they're small budget, potentially. Although, there's two horror movies that apparently, one was made for a million, one was made for 10 million.

I don't class that small budget, but it's, took America by storm, both of the movies. The 10 million one has made like, 150 million or 200 million at the box office. So, yeah, it's a good profit.

But then didn't, I'm sure, I can't remember who it was. There was a couple of stars that starred, they were Hollywood stars at the time as well. I don't know if it was Tom Hanks or Tom Cruise.

It was someone really huge, a huge star at the time. I mean, they're all cute, but you know, at the time, they used to be like massive, didn't they, stars, both of them in the 90s and whatever. And they did a movie where they took a percentage of the profits.

And they ended up making more money from that movie than they had from pretty much anything else they'd done. And I think Hollywood stopped doing that because it was a good way to get big stars into a movie. But if the movie was successful, it was a really expensive way to pay because the profits go well down if you're paying off, if you're paying multi millions.

So if you end up paying like 40, 50 million to a star, that would have maybe got 10 million for the movie. I'm talking about millions like it's just pennies, aren't I? Like I know what I'm talking about. That was really vague story as well, wasn't it? Wasn't even, there's no real context or content or substance or other words that mean similar things to it.

So let's have a look. Oh, excuse me. Excuse me.

Vinny's now begging. I don't quite know what he wants. Yeah, so this bloke said, no, you're not autistic.

So I didn't want to be autistic. I didn't want to be bipolar. I didn't want to be any of those things.

I just wanted to know what was going on so I could find a way to deal with it. That's all, just so I could go to work and feel, be able to function. That's all I wanted.

I didn't, I wasn't after anything else. I wasn't looking to be unemployed. I wasn't looking to get handouts or to anything.

All I wanted was just to continue with my life as it was, but without feeling unwell. And yeah, in the end, I think going to the Buddhist center helped because I learned to meditate and that was useful. It really was.

I remember, I used to take what they call oils, olive oils, what do they call them? Oils, anyway, you know, smelly oils on a handkerchief in order to kind of smell them and calm myself down and I'd be counting down and be trying to set up anchors, which is like a hypnotic thing in order to calm myself and relax my body while I was on a phone call to a customer. And it was, it was like ongoing. I was trying to do all these things all at the same time and it was very, very challenging, should we say? Challenging, challenging.

Where's the National Autistic Support Services and Autistic Adults? So, I wanted to go and ask about autism diagnosis before diagnosis. I think I've gone to the wrong one, actually. So, that's that one.

This is Autism Partnership Foundation. Maybe that's the one. Is that the one? The one which has the form agree.

It might have others, others, others. Our mission, learn more, more about... No. Profession for families.

About us, for professionals, families, my account. Nope. Okay, so if I go into assessment, assessment form.

Online Autism Assessment. So, there's different ways you can do it. There's now a thing in the UK called... Rights to... I forget what it's called, but it's basically... The National Health has a... Yeah, it's a new thing where... Well, it's not new, I don't think, but it's recent.

Where you've got the right to ask your GP or doctor to... Put you through to an assessment centre and the NHS pays for it. Otherwise, you've got to go private and it's £1800. So, which is quite a lot of money, I do believe.

So, I've looked into this. I've got a friend that did it recently and she told me about it. So, assessment test.

Online. I just want to go through it so you can see what it is. Oh, it's not.

If I put free. Okay. Okay, here we go.

Got it. I found it. I found the one that I did.

Autism Detect. Because you can get your initial screening, which is £15, if I remember rightly. And then if you end up going and they say, yeah, you're a suitable candidate.

Oh, £9.99, sorry. 15 minute screening for only £9.99. But then it's like £1800 for the actual assessment privately. Online test.

Private autistic assessment. Take a free autism test. I did this yesterday.

Or the day before. So, it's only a few questions. I'll go through it with you so you just see what it says.

This is the first question. I prefer doing things myself rather than with other people. Now, what would the answer be to that one? The answers are.

Definitely agree. Slightly agree. Slightly disagree.

Definitely disagree. I prefer doing things myself rather than with other people. So, I think anyone who knows me knows it's going to be definitely agree.

I like keeping to the same way of doing things rather than changing it up. Yeah. Why? That just makes sense to want to do the same way.

And maybe it's boring but. I mean if someone, if it might seem like I'll do it different. Why just do it the same way? You wouldn't say that to a surgeon would you? A surgeon's about to take your appendix out and say.

Why don't you try a different technique? Maybe take it out through my toe. No. The next one is.

I often hear little sounds that other people don't seem to notice. I'm going to say yes to this because I do notice sounds. And I've had people in the past say.

I can't hear nothing. But on the same side, I'm not around people. So, that's one of those things that I found a little bit hard.

But I would definitely agree. I'm going to go slightly agree with that. Because I can't really answer about the other people.

But I notice. Actually, I'm going to say definitely agree. I hear, I'm going to go slightly agree.

But yeah, I'm very, very auditable. When lots of people are talking in a group. I'm able to follow what everyone is saying.

How can anyone do that? Seriously. You've got five people talking. Is anybody.

Can anybody honestly say. With complete honesty. When it's like a room full of people talking.

That they can follow the conversations between everyone. Anyone? I'm waiting. I definitely disagree.

It is. Awful. It.

I have to walk away. Even worse. If someone's trying to include me in the conversation.

And I've got two people. I think he's found a fly he wants to try and catch. And I've got two people talking to me at the same time.

That is an impossible. Oh, no. But even if I'm not included.

And I'm just at a table. Because this happened to a group. When I was a counselor.

It was further professional training. Whatever. And they said break up into groups now.

And we're going to do an exercise. And. I just made sure it wasn't physical.

And they said no. You can still sit down. I said good.

Vinny. You got your food. You haven't eaten it.

That's what you're getting today, mate. No, I don't care. If you decide.

If you want to lose your food. Then you don't eat. And before you go.

Oh, oh, but it's been there for hours. What about some of the stuff you eat off the grass? There's been there for days. Some of the things I've seen you eat Vinny.

Off the floor. Is unrepeatable. Anyway.

I'll just give him some fresh food later. If he doesn't eat it. But I don't want him to know that.

I just want him to eat it. Yes, I was at this table. And there was one, two, three, four.

Probably about six of us. And they literally were all talking at the same time. And I didn't know what to do.

I just wanted to leave. Or have a tantrum and tip the table over. But obviously I'm not going to do that.

But I wanted to just like. Tell everyone to shut up. One at a time.

But also I couldn't do that either. So when lots of people are talking in the group. I'm able to follow what everyone is saying.

I can't even follow what people are saying. It's just one person sometimes. And I can easily tell what someone means by their tone of voice.

No. Because a lot of people lie, don't they? The amount of people that are incongruent. That I've known over the years.

And it's like. You're right. Yeah, I'm fine.

But you look like. It's like someone's just run over your foot. Like, what do you mean you're fine? Yeah, I'm okay.

Well, tell your face. So. I don't know.

Tone of voice. No. I can tell someone means by their.

I can tell easily what someone means by their tone of voice. You can't know, can you? Tone of voice. I understand like someone's like super excited.

And they're like, it's Christmas. You know, like, yeah, okay. I get it.

They're excited. It's Christmas. I used to be excited when I was a kid.

I think. Yeah, I was. Because it was toys.

New toys. And regardless of how weird I was, I still love new toys. Yeah, I did loved it.

And. But then when you're little, you can just kind of be yourself and almost just is accepted. You know, I was eight.

However weird I was. I was just accepted. No one, no one questioned it.

You know, I was living with new parents for a year at that point. They just accepted. That's what I was like.

That fly is proper. It's you watching that fly as well. I can see it.

Where did it come from? See, you'll eat that fly, won't you? If you get a chance, but you won't eat your dinner. Do you know what I mean? You know, I'm going for that. It don't make no sense.

So I can easily tell what someone means by their tone of voice. Not easily. No, you have to be really extreme.

Like someone shouting. I can tell they're angry. If someone's like laughing, I can tell.

But I guess that they're happy or they find something funny. But yeah, it has to be extreme. That's why I've always struggled when with relationships or beginning relationships.

Because I can't read the cues unless. I mean, even sometimes unless a woman, I'm talking about the past, literally tells me that they like me. Then I don't know.

I won't know till they tell me. Or it's so obvious that I can't not know if you know what I mean. So yeah, I'm not, I can't take hints.

I don't know how to. I don't know. I can't read.

Is it reading between the lines with when people are talking to me? Sometimes I can get it with other people. I think. I just find it confusing, actually.

So I can easily tell what someone means by their tone of voice. No, I can't easily do that at all. When I'm interested in something, I can get really, really into it and feel upset if I can't do it.

Of course, doesn't everybody? I mean, if you're into, you know, if you want to do, if you're really into something. And that's what you want to do. You don't want to be disturbed, do you? You don't want anyone else talking to you or phoning you or interrupting.

And you want to do it kind of all the time. Okay, I want to do it all the time. A good example of that really was when I was learning to build websites in 2000 and 2001.

I devoted over a year, a year and a half nearly, focused on learning HTML code, building websites. That's what I did all day, every day, five days a week. For sometimes 15, 16 hours.

Sometimes forgot to eat. I was going to bed early hours in the morning, waking up early in the morning. You know, I was getting maybe five hours of sleep.

I was just absolutely so invested in it. It was the most important thing ever at the time. And I don't know why I just, it grabbed me and I loved it.

Anyway, I enjoy meeting new people and making new friends. No, no, sorry. There's no nice way to say it, is there? It's like, well, you don't mind meeting new people.

I don't mind meeting people I know. And I know, you know, at some point they were new people. But I didn't like talking to them when they were new.

Necessarily. I prefer the kind of gradual thing. Sort of with dog walking, you just get used to seeing someone.

And then maybe they call me and say, oh, you dropped your hammer. And I said, oh, OK, thanks. And you kind of, then you start saying hello to them the next day.

Vinnie, will you go away, please, mate? Why are you bothering me? Why are you hassling me? He's bored because the TV's off. And I was trying to catch the fly. So he doesn't bother me.

If I'm sitting on the chair, he doesn't bother me at all. He just covers up to me. That's it.

Unless he needs to go for a toilet. I find myself spotting and remembering things like number plates or train times. No.

Not really. Spotted and remembering things like. The things I remember is like things from the past.

Dates or years, not necessarily the months, but the years. I remember that. But that's important.

Remembering things like number plates or train times is absolutely pointless. So disagree. People sometimes tell me that I talk about the same thing for too long.

Do we need to? OK, right, I definitely agree. Yeah, I've been told that enough times. Sometimes people just have to stop me and say.

I don't care how many pairs of underwear have holes in them. You know, just just can we just stop? Sorry. I often spot patterns in things around me, like in numbers, shapes or colors.

Yeah, I notice. Another way of saying is I notice things that are. Missing from the pattern in a way.

So. If someone says something and then they say something different. I remember that I noticed that.

What's the word? Inconsistencies. So I notice inconsistencies. Which is a pattern.

It's a weird kind of pattern, but then at the same time when I'm watching TV. And. There's writing on screen.

I will write it out with my finger. And imagine I'm kind of writing over the words. So if I'm watching a podcast or something and it's on the TV and it's the words are on the screen, they just stay there.

I'll write over them with my finger. But over and over and over and over again. And if I'm in a car.

I will watch the. The different lampposts. Like almost connected them up with an invisible wire.

Like a little monkey swinging from each one. I've been doing that since I was a kid. Yeah, that might be a bit weird.

Something I really do notice is people's physical features. It's not in a way of. In order to like mock or.

Be prejudiced or anything. I just can't help it. I notice.

Everything. I notice absolutely everything about a person. If I'm.

Paying attention. Now, if I'm not paying attention, I might not even look at them. So I couldn't tell you what someone looks like.

But if I'm talking to them. I just know honestly, I just map out their face. Map out their body.

Not I'm not staring at their body. Always, but. It's almost like a map.

Yeah. It's like I'm. Tracing them.

In my head almost. It's kind of strange really sounds a bit weird. So yeah, I notice people's.

I notice how people look. I notice. The small things.

So I'll put definitely agree with that one. So when my daily routine changes unexpectedly. Do I feel OK about it? Do I heck? An example of that is.

If I'm. Getting my second breakfast ready. So let's have you know, I'm I took him out to the park and I'm coming back.

And I get something to eat and I'm going to watch Frasier. Someone knocks on my door. I couldn't even tell you how.

I'm positive I feel in that moment. Because I got my breakfast and I don't eat with other people around. That's my time.

It's me taking a break from the Internet, taking a break from everything. Just watching a bit of telly. Relaxing with Vinny sitting next to me or going to sleep next to me.

Yeah, so if I'm going to do something in the end. I don't like there's not enough milk for my breakfast cereal. Wow, even though I can walk up to the petrol station and get some.

That no. So I'm yeah, I've got I've got daily routine. Not every minute of the day is routines, but I've got.

Routines and I don't like them changing, but I imagine most people are like that. I just don't know. I find it easy to start talking to people and keep a conversation going.

Not really. I can talk to people I know. But it needs their participation.

And it depends what mood I'm in as well. Sometimes I literally run out of words. And some people I feel uneasy around.

I feel I don't feel relaxed. So I say very little to them. Other people I just feel very relaxed with and I'll just open up and overshare.

But I still don't know what they're thinking. Inside, I know there's no way of knowing really, but. I think I must be the only person I feel like I'm the only person on the planet that can't read other people's minds.

And also that doesn't know everything. We see that everyone I seem to meet. Or have met in my life of being able to read other people's minds.

I know what you're thinking. I know what she was thinking or he was thinking. I could read you like a book.

And they also seem to know everything. Everyone's an expert. And I know I'm not.

I've never pretended to be. I don't think I ever wanted to be. So I can't read minds and I don't know everything.

And I'm willing to admit to both of those. And some people I've noticed, especially when I was younger, used to get really upset when I said, I don't know. If they'd ask me a question, I said, I don't know the answer to that.

Why don't you know the answer? I think all they really wanted me to do is just lie and make it up. And I didn't want to do that. And I had a supervisor once and whenever I asked him a question, he'd always say the same thing.

So I'd say, what's the, let's say, what's the time distance between someone taking out a policy on a van or on a, you know, and which is not for commercial use, just for private use. And if they have to change it over for business use, how long do they have that they'll be insured for before they have to change over to another company, which covers, I don't know why I get so involved in this question. Anyway, I'd say that to my boss, not every day, I'd ask a different question and he'd say, what do you think the answer is? And he clearly didn't know, did he? Otherwise he would have just said what it was.

And it was amazing that he did quite well. But at the same time, he didn't really know what he was doing. Like he, he just blagged his way through it.

And I saw that in quite a few of the team leaders, where they just didn't, didn't know. They didn't know the answers to the questions. Yet we're supposed to know all the answers.

Apart from one person, well, no, it was another person who came in. He was a team leader. Will you just keep quiet, Vinny? What are you doing? There was this team leader that came in and he'd worked in the, he'd worked in customer services.

And he basically came in and he did, I think he did a month on the floor as sales before they made him a team leader in the sales department. Because he needed to learn how to do the sales. And he literally was so good because he had all the answers.

There wasn't nothing, it wasn't anything he didn't know about insurance, it seemed. So instead of like trying to convince a customer to buy, he would actually just tell them straight, this is what happens in the event of a claim. This is where we are as a company compared to other companies.

This is how many people we have that we employ. This is how, and it's just like, I used to listen to him and I used to think, when's it home time? I did, I could do some chocolate. But yeah, I don't know where I'd go with that.

So I find it easy to talk to people and keep a conversation going. It's not easy. If it's someone I know, it's different.

If it's someone that I'm friends with, it's a different situation. Someone I don't know, like, I don't know what I'm going to talk about. So I don't find it easy.

When someone is talking to me, I can easily understand what they're hinting at. Oh, I've already mentioned this. No.

Unless you are absolutely obvious. I won't know. I could give you some examples, but it would probably come across as a little bit rude.

But I don't, yeah, blatance, latency, not not rude latency, but sometimes I just need it just like say it, say what you want. And I have said to people in the past, you just tell me what you want, because I don't know what you're talking about. And that can sometimes come across as a bit bit rude, maybe a bit angry.

But for me, it's like just, what do you want? And not out of impatience, just so I can, we can just get through it. You know, you need my help, then just ask me, you need my help. Don't start talking about, you know, people do compliments, they compliment you and you start to realize, wait a minute, the pattern of they only ever compliment when they want something.

Or if they do compliment you, it's normally within a conversation, like a normal conversation. But if they start a conversation with compliments, then they're after something. And also the way people talk, the speech patterns, the speed, the body language kind of, I thought you said you couldn't understand what people are on about.

It's not that, it's just, there's a certain pattern that I've noticed that maybe it's, I mean, I'm, I can only really speak for the people around here. But I've had, I don't know, over 10 years of people continuously asking me for things. Continuously trying to, making up stories and fibs, sometimes telling the truth, or really going around the houses before saying what they really want.

And because I'm not great on the old hinting part, just like, get on with it, what is it you want? So I know, and then I can say, okay, and then I could, you know, once I know what you want, if you need me to help you with something, just ask, blimey. So when someone's talking to me, I can easily understand what they're hinting at. No, because I don't know, I can't read minds.

And that's part of the reason I ask people just to sort of, what is it you want? What is it you're trying to say? Because I don't understand what someone's saying. I was like, you're saying this, but that contradicts what you said before. So I remember what you said before.

I didn't until you started talking today. That's another thing, I don't know why that is. You know, if someone says to me, when we visited the local bridge when it was being built when I was nine, and they said, oh, we visited it.

We didn't, we didn't visit it until it was in action. And instantly, I remember like, no, we visited it while it wasn't even built or why it wasn't allowed to be in action because the first day that it was open, it was too windy. And I think that the bridge was swaying a little bit.

So there was no, we actually went on to the bridge a little bit and then got kicked off. Now part of that might not be true. But as an example, and the thing is, I've actually had people say to me, sort of correct me on something saying, no, this happened.

Like something that I've done. No, this happened. And I'm thinking, you don't realize that I remember.

Now that you've mentioned it. I remember exactly what order things happened. I'm not saying I've got good memory at all, or that I can even remember.

There's a lot of stuff that I've forgotten. But it's that contradiction, that inconsistency, that seems to kick in my memory. Where if someone says, oh, you was, you were wearing them shoes.

Or you got Vinnie, someone to look after Vinnie that day. And I can, I can search back to it. But if they say something blatantly, that's just wrong.

Instantly, like, wait a minute. Sometimes the whole conversation comes back. It's like, no, you said this.

I said that you said this. And I could read. I'll give you an example.

And this lady of a day, she's a dog walker, like myself. And I said, I think I saw you last night. Because I was walking away from the park.

And there's someone walking into the park, but it's quite a distance. And she said, no, I wasn't out last night. I didn't take my dog for a walk last night.

I said, you was wearing a white top, a white jumper. And she said, oh, yeah, that was me. Because I didn't know it's her because basically her dog is off the lead.

So it wasn't with her. It was further behind her. So I didn't get to see her dog.

I just saw her walking into the park. So I thought, I don't know if it's her or not. With my eyesight, because I was a fair distance away.

And but I could kind of tell the way she was walking. But then the dog wasn't there. So all the bits of that puzzle weren't there.

But then when I said to her, when she said, no, it wasn't me last night. Because I thought, okay, you were wearing a white top, a white jumper. She said, oh, oh, yeah, I was out about seven.

And I thought, wow. I don't know what the point of that story was. So definitely disagree.

I can I can easily understand what's their hint in that. No. When I look at things, I tend to notice more details more than the big picture.

Definitely agree on that one. I'm sorry, I can't help it. I just I can see I noticed little things.

And it's probably why I've not been successful with this. Because I've not been able to look at the bigger at the possibilities. Bearing in mind, I've been doing it 20 years and I've got I've probably got the best audience that anyone could ever have.

I've got a very loyal audience. And along the line, I could have surely someone with a bit more business sense or some business sense could have turned this into something at least like a job, you know, at least that could pay for me to have a living. But that's big picture stuff.

I see I focus on just making the recordings and doing the little bits. And then I kind of feel good that I've done it. But I did my recording this morning for the I don't know what it's called.

I keep forgetting breaking free from control and manipulation. So I did that one. And I felt good didn't do it yesterday.

And I felt I didn't feel good. I felt a bit rubbish all day yesterday. So today I did it in the morning.

And when I was sitting down at 10 o'clock, having uploaded everything, recorded it and uploaded it and edited it and all that stuff. I felt like I'd accomplished something for the day. And I need that feeling.

And I do doesn't have to be making one of those recordings, it could be a relaxation session, it could be a chronic pain release session. It's not the recording itself, it's just that I've done something that I feel is worthwhile, and hopefully, could help someone. I can usually tell how someone is feeling just by looking at their face.

No. The amount of times I used to think I could and I'd ask them, and they'd say no, I'm fine. Are you sure you're fine? You look angry? No, I'm fine.

Well, you're in a good mood. No, I'm not. Just come back from a funeral.

It's like, I can't get it. I can't just confusing. I would rather spend time in a quiet library than in a noisy party.

Wouldn't anybody? Definitely agree. I mean, who'd want to be in a noisy party? I realize a lot of people would, but I'm not into noise. When reading stories, I find it easy to picture what's happening in my mind.

No, no, I don't. No, I don't seem to, I've got, I've got internal dialogue, but I don't have internal images so much, if that makes any sense. I remember voices and I can hear, I can hear voices.

That sounds bad, doesn't it? I don't know. But I, yeah, I can. This is something that people don't believe.

I've told this story before. I had a customer when I was doing these sales in insurance. I had a customer phone me up and I said, and they said their name.

I said, did I speak to you last month? And they said, what's your name? I said, Jason. They said, I've got no idea. And that's not the end of the story.

That would be particularly boring, it's not the end of the story. So I went into the file, because then you can see who did the original quotation, because they were phoning back to take the quote. And it was me.

I did the quote, but I remembered their voice. And I remember something about them as well. And I thought to myself, wow, as far as superpowers go, that's a real pointless one.

I remember people's voices. I can hear, I just do. I don't know what it is.

It's the tone. Maybe it's because I was partly deaf when I was a kid. So I had to try a little bit harder to hear.

So I appreciate hearing things. I'm very much an auditory person than a, than a like, visual or, although I do like visual things as well. But art is kind of just wasted on me.

But classical music isn't. I'm a big fan of classical music. I don't know anything about it, but I listen to classical music every day.

And, you know, it does, it does touch me. I find myself getting completely absorbed in my interests. So much that I forget about other things.

Yeah. I mean, this is, I guess, my interest. My dad always said this is just a hobby.

So, um, I class it as more than a hobby, but as far as hobbies go, it's not a bad one to have, is it? I mean, if I was a train spotter, I'd be getting wet half the year. So at least I'm in the warm, I suppose, doing that. But I've got a lot of respect for train spotters, stamp collectors, people that collect the numbers of planes, take pictures of birds, anyone that does something that they absolutely love, whether it's, you know, for a living or it's part time as a hobby.

If you can find a job doing what you love, then, you know, it's the old cliche, you never work a day in your life. But for me, I'm grateful I found something that hopefully helps people. But I could probably get just as much, um, just as much out of doing something else that was completely useless to other people.

Useful for me and my mental health. And maybe train spotting would be better for me. Because I'd be meeting people, wouldn't I? And I'd just, I don't know, maybe that would be better for my mental health.

I'm not sure. But because this is very solitary. The next one, I enjoy having casual chats, casual chats about nothing in particular.

Sometimes only people I know, I like to have a subject. I like to have a reason to talk and for it to mean something, talk about something meaningful. Just points, pointless chatter.

Although I can do it, obviously, I do it every day. So I can do it, but I can talk. Here's the thing, I can be the talker, but I don't want to be a listener.

So I can't have a chat about nothing in particular. But I can talk about nothing in particular, as I do with these podcasts. But I couldn't listen to someone else also talking about nothing in particular.

So I disagree with that. Because this is a dialogue, this is a, I guess I'm talking at you, aren't I really? Although we know I'm talking to you, really. So a dialogue of diatribes, is that what they call it? So when I'm talking to someone, I sometimes find it tricky to know when it's my turn to speak.

And I've been told by many people, I talk over them. I did try and learn to wait my turn when I was a counsellor. And it's been something I've been working on for decades.

It's also when I was doing sales. So, you know, I learned how to kind of keep quiet, but at the same time. Yeah, I don't know.

I don't always know because it's hard. Sometimes people stop talking and then start talking again. It's like, I wish we could have some kind of system where a light comes on, a light on a head, and it goes red when you stop talking or goes green, which means the other person can go and start talking.

Go ahead, talk now. And you wait until you say what you've got to say, and then you go green. So whatever, there's a colouring system of some kind.

That would make sense to me. And yeah, that's I find very, I do talk over, but I try not to. I really try not to, but it's hard because, and it's really difficult to say this without it coming across as selfish or probably immature, many words probably, but most of the time I'm more interested in what I've got to say.

It's, you know, I prefer to talk than to listen. So, yeah, it's kind of, I, yeah, I do, I enjoy chatting, but don't necessarily need someone to chat back to. That's why making podcasts is perfect for me, because I can just talk for long periods of time, like nearly two hours I've been talking now.

And it only seems like maybe 10 minutes really, doesn't it? No one's going to agree with me on that one, are they? Only feels like five minutes. So, it's, you know, you know what I mean? It's I enjoy doing things without planning them first. Why would you do, you have to plan something before you do it, don't you? I'm not just going to suddenly wake up and I'll, and I'll just suddenly be in town in a pub, sitting at a table or whatever, just, you have to plan.

I need to know if I'm going somewhere, I need to know, I need to have notice. Ideally, a good couple of weeks. Otherwise, the closer it gets to it happening, the less relaxed I tend to feel.

Especially if I have to go out somewhere. That's why I get taxis when I go into town. Not the only reason, because the buses are quite irregular.

But I know if I book a taxi the night before, to pick me up at, let's say half eight or half seven, whatever time, nine o'clock, then I have to get out of bed. And I have to have a shower and be ready for that time. If I just rely on myself getting out of bed and getting ready, and going and catching a bus, that I'm not sure what time it's going to be there, but hopefully it'll be there at nine.

Chances are, I'll just go back to bed. So, I order a taxi, knowing that, you know, if it turns up, they're throwing me up. And if I don't get in there, I still have to pay them.

That's a good incentive to go and actually get in the car and be ready. So, I do not enjoy doing things that aren't planned. But then I don't particularly necessarily enjoy things that are planned.

Depends what they are. This was a bit of a weird one. I often find it hard to understand why people find certain jokes funny.

I know what, why I find things funny. And I've got a sense of humour. I think everybody's got a sense of humour.

We've all got our own sense of what we think is funny. But anyway, laughing is a, it's not a conscious thing, is it? We laugh, we laugh. It's not like we decided I'm going to laugh at that, I'm going to laugh at this.

There's a motorbike in the background. So, I'd probably say that I don't necessarily find, I do wonder why people laugh sometimes. I feel like I'm kind of out of the loop.

But I'm going to slightly agree with that, but not completely. Slightly agree. Whoops.

Previous. Next one. When I was little, I enjoyed playing pretend games with other children.

How much noise can one little pretend motorbike make? When I was little, I enjoyed playing pretend games with other children. I don't really know, if I'm honest. Pretend games, I used to like playing pretend games with myself.

And just thinking, when I was a kid, going back to as far back as I can remember, like during playtime, I'd sometimes play, but a lot of the time I'd be on my own, walking around the field, singing. Both in junior school and high school. Then other times I'd run around.

So, yeah. I'm just going to slightly disagree with that. I like collecting lots of information about specific things.

It says like dinosaur, trains or plants, but no, for me, it's books on what it was, books on certain subjects like autism, or hypnosis, or Buddhism, or psychotherapy, or NLP, or hypnosis, or web design, or what other things have I been interested in over the years. The beatnik generation, you know, lots of different things I've been interested in over the years. Vampires and werewolves and stuff.

So, I used to get fixated on one thing and I get so caught up in it, and I would buy like, yeah, as well, massage, reflexology. I had so many books on that subject. I just get into it.

I can't help it. So, I used to like collecting books, but for a specific reason on actual subjects. There was a time that I had hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of books on hypnosis.

I had over a hundred books on Buddhism. So, at the moment, I'm not collecting anything, but my whole life I've kind of have been. It is fun.

New situations make me feel stupid. That's what I know. It's time to finish the recording when I can't.

It's not even like I'm trying to talk. I'm trying to read. Okay, I'll just do it with my right eye.

I can see it better. My left eye, all the words go together. New situations make me feel worried or uncomfortable.

Yeah, I imagine that's for most people though, isn't it? I find it hard to tell what other people might be thinking. Yeah, we covered that earlier, didn't we? I already went through that. When someone interrupts what I'm doing, I can easily go back to my task.

No. No. People often tell me that something I've said is a bit rude, even though I thought it was fine.

Definitely agree. I've been a man. I've lost a lot of friends over the years because of that.

I've lost jobs. I've lost everything. I didn't mean it rudely.

I didn't mean it like I'd be a school friend. I didn't mean it rudely. I just said that your mum was attractive.

I didn't mean anything by it. Where did you put the camera in the bathroom? No, that didn't happen. I prefer looking at the whole picture rather than focusing on tiny details.

Definitely disagree. Have we done all this already? Did we already do that? I find it easier to do more than one thing at once. No.

Blimey. One thing at a time. How do I put my name in? All right.

Let's have a look. What does it come as? 21. Thank you, Jason Newland, because I didn't put my right name in, for completing the test.

Based upon your answers, you experience strong likelihood of autism. Therefore, it is likely that you're autistic. Strong likelihood.

So no tendencies is 0 to 7. Few tendencies 8 to 12. Slight tendencies 13 to 15. Borderline indications 16 to 19.

Strong likelihood 20 to 30. Yesterday I got 22, so I don't know what I did different. I guess it's just a different day and I was thinking differently.

It can happen, you know. It can happen. I swear down.

I heard someone say I said it with chest. Really? Are you listening to yourself? I said it with chest. What does it mean? I said it with chest.

I do find that funny, that way of talking. Oh, Vietnam's been there. Hello, anyone from Vietnam, if you're listening.

They've been very busy today, online. United Kingdom. Who's listening from the United Kingdom? Nowhere near where I live.

Hayes is number one, Matlock second, Brent, Liverpool, Beckenham, Hartlepool, City of London, Eastbourne, Sunderland, Leeds, Huddersfield, Pontefract, Luton, Swindon, Nottingham, Dorking and Heckmond Wyke. Cool. So yeah, that's it.

That's nice. Now, Vietnam, I got Hanoi, Ho Chi Minh, Da Nang, Ba Ria, Thu Tho, Phnom Penh province, Ninh Binh province, Hai Pong. That reminds me I did the mess of his poo earlier.

Lam Dong province, Bac Giang province, Bac Ninh province, Dong Nai province, Hai Duong province, Bac Can province, Tien Giang. So hello, hello, everyone. And I don't know just lots of different places that people listen.

Geolocation, sources, where's everyone listening from? 11 people from my website. Chrome is the number one, Apple Podcasts is second, Podcast Addict is third. And my voice is getting quirky.

So I better go because I got to take the little one out. And I also have to eat, eat, eat, eat, because I got to eat. Yeah, because it's eaty time.

So thank you for listening. Remember to be kind to yourself because you do deserve to be happy and be gentle with yourself. You deserve to feel safe.

Lots of love. Bye.