(Short - Voice Only) #1562 Let me bore you to sleep  Jason Newland  15th February 2026

Oh Hello, welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name's Jason Newland. Hoi! This is Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Please only listen whence you can.

Faithfully close your eyes. Yeah, now it's Sunday afternoon. 18 minutes past two.

And my video from Friday, my Let Me Bore You To Sleep video from Friday, Friday, two days ago, Friday, Q&A Friday is still uploading. And according to this, it's 96%. Now, wow, I mean, serious, it's taken so long, because I accidentally filmed that one and the one before, which was forgiveness as quiet freedom, a relaxation hypnosis session.

I accidentally recorded them in 4k. Now, this is in ultra high definition, I think, but 4k takes up way more room. I think it's about 60 gigabytes or something like that, nearly for each one, which is a huge amount of space to take up and takes.

I mean, just yeah, after editing, and then processing, I think they call it rendering, but processing the edit to make the video took a few hours. And then I uploaded it to YouTube. And the first one, forgiveness one.

And I started uploading that, think Friday night. So we call it both of them on Friday, you see, because I did the forgiveness first, I record, I worked on that one. And literally, it was, I just can't, I don't have the words.

It's just amazing. It's like how long it takes is forever. And so I will not be I'll not be recording in 4k again, unless I get particularly fast internet.

And even if you got really fast internet, I don't think that makes as much difference as it ought to. Because the on YouTube's end, what they do, isn't dependent on how fast my internet is. So the processing still might take a few hours once it's at their end, because it's such a large file.

And basically, all they do down, or they do do do do do, they, they reduce the size of the file anyway. So if you ever want to change, if you want to reduce the size of a big video file, upload it, if you've got time, upload it to YouTube, then download it to your computer. And something that was like 1015 gigabytes, ends up being maybe 600 megabytes.

Don't quote me on that one, but I'm saying it reduces it a lot. I don't know why they have to be so large waterfalls. Just because trying to sort of make it a little bit better quality image, image picture.

I've also got it at instead of x one, it's minus x one or minus, or x five or whatever. So actually, we've got a little bit more of the background. So you're not right in my face like before.

Because nobody wants to see that. Nobody wants to close up of me. I think I took a I went to the post office to get a passport and they said you need to go and get a picture done because they got like a photo kiosk in the post office released they used to post office isn't even there anymore.

And you need a picture. I said okay. So I queued up again, got through eventually get through to the same person.

And they didn't seem happy about that for some reason. So be you know, behind the glass. And I said, there you go.

You said I needed to get photographed because I've done everything else with the forms. And the man said, Oh, yeah, but he's looking at the photograph. He said, but you're not you're not supposed to have glasses on in the photograph.

Or smile, it's supposed to be just like without glasses smile. I said, so do you want me to do another one? He said, No, no, don't worry about it. Just just put it through.

I said, How come? He said, Well, if you do go away again, and do some more pictures, and come back, I may end up getting you again. And this is enough. I can't I can't handle having to have any more conversations with you.

Plus the photographs, I don't want to look at your face photographs anymore. I don't want to get nightmares. I started thinking to myself, is he being rude to me? I saw a movie called the housemaid.

Good movie. Worth a look. I'm laughing to myself because I'm just thinking of some of the stuff that I would have said, you know, 30 years ago.

But it's a good movie. It's a good drama. A very twisted drama.

So yeah. Yeah, it's good. Good movie.

So I Oh, no, it's now uploading 96% keep saying processing and then it's saying 96%. So, ironically, I might finish this video, upload it, or edit it, upload it. And it might be available before Friday's one.

It's weird, isn't it? So this weekend, I suppose I want to talk about the forgiveness as quiet freedom. Because it's the longest hypnosis recording I've ever made. Like, I mean, I know I do 10 hour versions and stuff like that.

But like, all in one go. Like me on camera, there's cuts, I have to make cuts and edits because of knocks on doors and coughing or whatever. I think during that one, I did have to have a break because I had to take Vinnie out before it got dark.

But it's still me. Like making one recording. I know what I'm trying to say.

This is the longest recording I've done anyway, without kind of adding another recording on top. Just one recording. 2 hours and 13 minutes and 55 seconds.

And I've done the old, you know, six versions. Short, that's not short, is it? Long and overnight. The one on YouTube, I've added different music.

And music directly from YouTube. Their music catalog. So it did take a fairly bit of work to find something and to loop that because you can only get I think 29 minutes worth of music and I had to loop it around.

But it was I think it came out quite well, ish. Yeah. I think so.

I do. I do. I'm quite pleased with it.

I mean, hasn't won any awards yet. But I think once people hear it on YouTube days, they might actually like it and think, wow, because two and a half hours, well, two hours and 13 minutes of me just talking. I know I do that with the Let Me Boyd Asleep sometimes.

That's rare. I don't do that many long, long, as long as that. But as far as the hypnosis ones go, I don't do many like really super long.

Yeah. I'm just impressed with myself. It's weird, isn't it? I just found it like super impressive.

And I was pleased I managed to do two recordings. And the weird thing is the other one was about an hour and a half as well. So the Q&A Friday was about an hour and a half after I'd edited it.

Hmm. I'm not live on TikTok today. I'm just doing a normal podcast.

Although, you know, some of the comments can give me food for fodder, is it? Is that the right word? Gives me something to maybe talk about, but I could be bothered. It's really weird. What I was going to do in this little slot of the day, even though it's a Sunday, so I guess I shouldn't really, not shouldn't, but I wanted, I just wanted to make some recordings.

So I was going to do the hypnosis one first. Because Vinnie was in the bedroom, because we just had a little nap. So I'm setting everything up.

And I realize it's not really a good time to do this because Vinnie has said Vinnie's been off. I'll move that off there. Yeah, there you go.

Excuse me. Excuse me, Vinnie's somewhere to sit on. Get up.

I had something on the seat there, which was in his way. It didn't feel right. To start recording and then put him back into the bedroom, because he'd been in the bedroom with me for the last hour.

And I didn't really want to kind of close the door and leave him in there. I might do it later. Or I might do, because I've got another hypnosis recording I want to do, and that one might be even longer than the forgiveness is quiet freedom.

But based on how much time it takes for those to process, even the ones that aren't in 4k, I'll take my time with it. I'll take my time with it. And yeah, hopefully they're loud enough, but it's hard to know.

And I did have, it was weird with YouTube. Now I've got the latest like that, that video I was telling you about, had three comments, but only two comments showed up. Hello, what's up? What's up Vin? You all right? Vinnie wanted to say hello.

That's another good thing about having the, I'm just trying to think, I might try and if I can put it down a little bit, you can see him. I wonder if that'll work. Yay.

Hello. Hello. Hello.

So I just, I've got the old Vince doing here. I'd like to get it so that this, and I could do that actually. No, maybe not.

Just so that the settee was behind me in a way that he could literally be, or maybe raise the settee somehow. I don't know. I'd like him to be part of the video because he's part of, he's so much a part of my life.

And also it's nice to see him being affectionate. I mean, you could say, well, he's just getting ready to eat my arm, which could be true, but it's nice that he's given some energy. Oh, yesterday there was so much shouting in the garden.

A lot of drama, a lot of drama, shouting, shouting, shouting, nothing but shouting. Now we're supposed to have snow today, according to the weather forecast over the weekend. Well, on Friday and Saturday, I haven't seen any snow.

Have you got snow where you are? If you're in the UK? Anyone got snow? All it's done is rain all day. Rain, rain, rain. It's not warm.

I know it's not supposed to be warm in February, but rain, rain, rain. If you want to see what Vinnie's doing, you're going to need to go to the video. Sorry.

It's, I know you can hear him on the, on the podcast, but maybe if you're just dozing off and you can't be bothered to, I don't blame you for not wanting to put YouTube on or anything, but this video will also be available on Facebook, TikTok, X, and Instagram. Yes, it will. Yes, it will.

He likes to play. Don't you? You like to play. I want to turn this around just a little bit, just a little bit.

There it is. I've just turned the camera around a little bit, just so Vinnie's a little bit more visible. So I realised this is of no use to those that are just listening on the audio, but I don't get many opportunities to have him in the video, to be honest.

So when it happens, I kind of got to just embrace it, I suppose, because a lot of the time he's on the floor and he's just doing stuff, causing noise, chewing on a bone or whatever, you know, but here he's definitely... I reckon if I put something on here, he'll probably get onto the table. In fact, I'm pretty sure he wants to get onto the table. I wonder if I can raise this chair to make it a little bit higher.

What was that? He's a good boy. The thing is we went out this morning and I had to drag him to the park. He literally did not want to go to the park because it was raining, it was cold, and we got as far as the park and then he just dragged me back.

So I dragged him and then he dragged me and I was literally, yeah, I was on the floor, he was dragging me along. He did not want to be out in that. I mean, I didn't want to be out in it either, but you know, I also needed to go to the toilet.

I don't see how it's okay for him to go into the toilet, but no one reports him. He doesn't get arrested for it. It's not fair, is it? It's not fair, Billy.

Okay, no one wants to see your sausage roll, your end of your sausage roll. He's got a thing. When I scratch him just on the base of his tail, like at the top, he automatically starts chewing on his nails on his left foot.

Don't you? Don't you, yeah? See, I'll do that. Okay, maybe not always. I'm just trying to think what happened last week that I can talk about because I don't remember much of last week.

Did anything happen? It was just raining. It was like literally pretty much raining the whole week long and I know, I mean, oh, I did receive a letter. Right, I'm going to leave, I know I started off with a camera with me being in the middle, but I'm going to leave it like this just in case Finny comes back and visits me.

So I got a letter. Dear Mr. Newland, R.E., what's those, is it semicolons, the other two? Your rent account is in arrears. Hmm.

A Mount Dew. So I got this yesterday, the 14th of February, 2026. It was sent the 4th of February, 2026.

10 days. Yeah, we can all work that one out. Okay, fair enough.

So, a Mount Dew as of, or as at, the 1st of February, 2026. I would have written as of, wouldn't you, not as at, is £348.06. £348.06. If you have paid this arrear, arrear, arrear, arrear, arrear, arrear, arrear, arrear, arrear, arrear, arrear, arrear, arrear. In the last few days, including this week's rent charge, thank you and please disregard this letter.

So this is, all right, they've got little symbols, one's for payment reminder, and this one is for payment overdue. So I don't know what the next symbol is going to be. Wait a minute, it might tell me.

Your payment is overdue. If we do not receive a payment to clear or reduce the arrears, we may have to consider serving you a notice of seeking possession, which means evicting me. The £348.06. Right, let me explain to you.

So I was getting ESA, which was the benefit I was getting before, not quite sure what it stands for, I forget. And last summer, I think it was June time. Yeah, about June, May, June, they changed it over, or they started to change it over from where I was to Universal Credit.

I had no choice in it. It was like, this is what we're doing. So I had to speak to someone on the phone, and they did it all.

And it was like to prove evidence, even though they knew who I was, and they knew where I was living. I was trying to say, well, if you don't know who I am, why have you been paying me for the last 12 years? But, you know, I didn't want to be rude. And they, so that all went through.

And I said to them, I'm going to need you. Well, I requested for them to pay my rent. Instead of because the way Universal Credit goes, is it trying to put all the different services into one place.

So instead of getting housing benefit separate, which what I was getting, which paid my rent directly to the council, you know, the housing place, Universal Credit gives you all your money once a month, all at the same time. And I was getting ESA every two weeks, so twice a month, and my rent was being paid direct. So this is going to cause me a few problems, especially with my, my lack of money management skills, sometimes.

So, what I did is I asked them, or requested that two things, I spoke to the person on the phone, is that they pay my rent directly to the housing office to the house, you know, the council place. So I don't see that money. And also that I continue to get paid every two weeks.

Instead of once a month. Because I said I'm gonna struggle with that. It's just just just the personal thing.

I mean, you know, I like to help people out. And if I've got money in the bank, and they need money, because they've got nowhere to live, or they've got no food, I'm going to probably go dip into that and help them. Then I won't have enough of my rent and you know, things like that.

So anyway, that went swimmingly. That went fine. They were okay with that.

They said, yeah, it's cool. I explained the reasons. And they, they were okay with that.

So I don't have to think about the rent goes out directly. Don't have to think about I have to wait for a month I get paid every two weeks. It's not the same day every two weeks.

But that's just the way it is. It's still better than once a month. Because that's Yeah, I struggled.

I struggled with once a month when I was working. It's just I don't know. Anyway, you should do it.

Everyone else does it. Okay, I asked and they said yes. And I that was it really.

So that all went fairly okay. Now as far as I know, the rent is always a month behind. It's in arrears a month, a month rent.

So the amount here is I think I pay 100 and or my rent rather, this 109 pound a month, a week, something like that. So 348 pounds, eight, six pence. So I need to work that out how much is a week from that.

Because that's how much in arrears they are. So it's basically just behind. That's all it is.

Universal Credit pay. They don't pay it until the end of the first month of me being on Universal Credit. But I'm pretty sure it's exactly the same with the housing benefit.

They pay a month in behind. You know, so there's no difference there. I don't think there might be.

I partly made that up. So to me, okay, I'm in arrears. It's not an issue because it's probably been paid by now.

But then to say, we may have to consider serving you a notice of seeking possession. Wow. I mean, that's not just slightly heavy handed.

That's super duper heavy handed. And I've been evicted quite a few times in the past been homeless a few times. Luckily, I was a kind of homeless where I was sofa surfing, rather than living on the streets.

I've only lived on the streets a couple of times, but for like a couple of nights, three nights, I've lived on the street. But I never I've been kind of lucky in that sense. But wow.

I mean, that's just I've got a dog now. It's not like I can go and just move into a little room somewhere. Because most rooms don't accept pets.

I mean, technically, if I was living in a little room, like I was before I moved here, I'd be financially way better off. No bills. No electric, no gas, no water.

No council tax. The only thing I'd have to pay for would be TV license, depending on whether or not I opened the door. So I'd be quite a few hundred pounds a month better off.

But I don't want to go back to that. You know, this is I waited for 30 years to get this place. This is kind of why are you moaning? You've got food down there.

Come up here. Come on over here. Let everyone see what a moaner you are.

What a whiner. It's such a whiner. I'm going to have a shave today.

And I said that yesterday. I said it the day before. I am.

Because I've charged the razor. It's over there. Hello Vinnie.

He has come back. Good. Good boy.

So I'm going to have a shave. Probably. I might not shave my hair off because I've got this.

I've got this feeling. It's happened before. Happened in 19, no, happened in 2007, November.

I shaved my head or shaved my hair off. And overnight it snowed. Literally, the temperature as I was shaving my hair, the temperature was dropping.

And snow appeared. Now, I love snow. But it's not always the best time to be bald.

Like if you don't have to be, I mean. What's he noticing? I've got no idea. I hope that the pitch is okay, because I've got it from like a distance rather than.

So it might not be as sharp as it would be if it was 1x or whatever. But I just didn't really want it to be too close. That's all.

And I wanted to see if Vinnie could be in it, which he is. Because you're a good boy, aren't you? Are you a good boy? Are you a good boy? See, he's kissing me in the Friday's one as well. But you get to see that.

So I'm sure he gives me kisses in the Q&A Friday that I did, that's still uploading. I think you can do just a little one. Thing is, sometimes I wonder if he kind of, he drags him back when it's raining, and then he realizes that he hasn't emptied his bum.

And he thinks, oh no, I forgot to do that thing. Now I've got to sit with it for a few more hours. But that's kind of the main reason I take him out.

Not the main reason, but it's definitely, it's on the to do list. As it were, when we go out, is keep him on a lead. Do a poo.

Keep him safe. Watch the ground so I don't tread in any. Try not to get too wet.

He's being very affectionate today. It's all performative. That's a new word.

That's a popular word these days, isn't it? Performative. I heard another one. I was talking to one of the other dog walkers yesterday, and Vinnie was sniffing.

So I'm talking to her, her dog's ahead. And Vinnie's kind of holding us up, and he's sniffing some grass. And she said, oh, he's checking his pee mails.

Oh, it's so funny. It's so cute. And then he starts weeing.

She said, oh, he's replying. And in a way, that is kind of what they're doing, isn't it? They're kind of contacting each other by doing a wee-wee on it. And sort of, I don't know if there's any kind of message in it.

Probably reading too much into that one. But it is, because you know a lot of the dogs, don't you, around here. Not friends of all of them, I'll be honest.

He's much more interested in the humans. But there are some doggies that he absolutely loves. But it's the humans more than anything, really.

I mean, yeah, he's definitely a human person. And I've seemed to be turning into more of a doggie person. I love sausage dogs.

I just find them so cute. And there's this little dog, I think he's like a miniature Jack Russell, like really little thing. And he runs at me, or she, it's a girl.

And she runs at me, and she's so excited to see me, because I give her treats, but she seems to genuinely like me. Which I find strange, because not many dogs do. I mean, it's something that I like.

I give them a fuss. I think if you give them a fuss, then they kind of, they like you more. It's not just, I don't think it's just treats.

Or I might be, maybe I'm wrong. But this one, she's so cute. There's a couple, I like little dogs.

I'm not, I'm not a fan of big dogs, really. Just, I don't dislike them. I just, I just prefer little dogs.

Because they're just, because my friend downstairs, if his dog was doing this, my leg would be hurting, because he was so heavy. And be banging into things, knocking stuff over. I was like, nah.

Like, I said to him, your flat's not big enough for a big dog. You need space for a big dog. He was literally knocking stuff off the tables.

It wasn't his fault. But he, you know, his tailed wag, and like, it clear, it clear half the room. It knocked people off the sofa.

I'm exaggerating for effect. But he was such a friendly dog. One of the friendliest dogs I've ever known.

To humans. Nor to other dogs. No.

But to humans. Did I tell you that I tried out his muzzle? Because I bought it really so I could do his nails. If I needed to, or if I needed to check his feet to get any bits out after we've been in the field.

But I thought because he doesn't like it, that might be, and it might put him off barking at another dog. So I took it out with me, and I put it on him once. And he did seem to stop barking.

And I tried it again, a few days later. And it didn't work. And I tried it again.

And it didn't work. So I stopped. Because it doesn't stop him barking, he just barks even louder.

In fact, he went a bit growly, a bit aggressive. Because he was being restricted. And you could argue, well, would you want to wear a muzzle? No, I guess not.

But I'm not barking at people. You know, there's nowhere to go with that, really, is there? I mean, I think if you think of humans wearing muzzles, it's not really doesn't really involve going walkies in parks. Might involve meeting in parks, but or in the countryside.

So that's why it's called dogging. I remember there was this one place and it was a, it was literally just behind where I was living in 2011. Big, it was like a proper place where families would go for walks, huge bit of land.

And on a Sunday, or you know, on a like a busy day, people would walk through it on a day, picnics and stuff like that. But there were certain times of the day when it got taken over by how do I word this? Men wishing to meet each other. And I went in there.

So I used to walk in, you know, because it used to be behind where I lived. And I had a camera. And I used to take footage of the cat with the camera, and then add my voice to the footage later on.

So I do a hypnosis recording and a bit of, and I'll be walking through the country bit, you know, just the trees, the leaves, stuff like that. And I got into this part of it. And you could see people as it happened twice.

Once it was like looking over enough like meerkats. These men just popping up looking around and just going down again. And another one over there.

And another one. And just I genuinely didn't know what was going on. And if I had I would have took my muzzle, my muzzle and my chains and I wouldn't if I didn't know that they were all it was like a meet and greet situation.

Yeah, and they didn't like me being there. Which I also found a bit rude. I mean, why why disclude me? Why not? If I'm going to go to a place like that? Why are you assuming I'm not here for the same reason you're here? I wasn't but you know, why just assume it? So it's a bit rude.

I don't like being discluded even if it's from things I don't want to do. And another time, I went in there, because on this occasion, I was in there and this bloke was following me from a distance, but just following me. As really weird, I felt very uncomfortable.

And it's strange because he was just he wasn't like close to me, but he just was following as I was walking, I was walking, he just followed. Now, he wasn't a physical threat to me. It wasn't that wasn't a thing.

It was just weird. Just weird, just creepy. It's like, what are you doing? Because you wouldn't do that in the street.

And maybe it was just, I was so attractive, he just couldn't stop himself. It was like an instant attraction. And there was he could feel the connection was pulling him, pulling his heartstrings.

I don't know. But I didn't like it. I just, I felt not afraid physically, because it wouldn't, that wasn't an issue.

But it was kind of Why are you following me? Is all this area? Why are you following me? And I said to him, excuse me, what's going on? Why are you following me? He said, during my garden. So I'm sorry. There was no barrier or anything.

Anyway, I went in there once and to this, the bit from, you know, the entrance, or the exit. Don't be mad as it and there's this beautiful tree on its own. There's lots of trees, but a lot of bush together and you know, quite close.

There was this on its own, it was blowing in the wind. And I thought, you know what? I'll video it. So I set my camera up, my camcorder.

And someone rode up behind me, because I was just inside the bit of ground. So I wasn't like far in. He said, What are you doing? What are you doing? Who are you talking to? What do you mean what am I doing? I said, I'm filming that tree.

He went and sat down under the tree. Wow. And I was filming the tree, I was going to try and get maybe half an hour, or an hour of it just blown in the wind, and use that.

And then just do some hypnosis, relaxation. With that, you know, blowing in the foot be nice, be a nice visual. There's a night it was fairly.

It was in a summer, so it wasn't dark. It was still quite light, probably about five in the afternoon. And there wasn't anyone much about.

He just sat there in front of the tree. And I thought, What? What do I do now? I mean, I can't. It's like, it's trying to provoke me.

So I don't know what it is about the area that was just still there. I don't know why. It's like, it's mine.

It's my area. So we've got a neighbor who thinks that it's a communal garden. There's this communal area, there's a few bits of garden.

And this person thinks that she or he owns the whole garden and has control over who opens and closes gates. And she's the only one allowed to have a dog in no one else's. And all that is like, doesn't work like that in a communal situation.

And there's nothing more communal than a park or big bit of ground. It's all private. It's not private.

It's all public for people to walk around in. What I'm saying is he doesn't own the tree. It's kind of weird because it just shows how much I've grown as a person.

Because I mean, this was 15 years ago. So even then, I'd kind of grown to the to the point of just walking away. If I don't, I might just move the camera up.

I thought we ain't gonna climb the tree. Yeah, that's what I did. I think because I wanted to have the whole like, from the ground all the way up in the end, I just filmed it from up.

But I didn't feel comfortable him just sitting there. So I left. Yeah, that would have been a different situation like 10 years earlier than that.

Because it's like just would have just told him to leave. I'm just a peaceful geezer. I'm like Gandhi.

We heard my impression of Gandhi. Hello, my name is Gandhi. Hello, Jason, my name is Gandhi.

It's good enough. Oh, I was thinking of Keanu Reeves. I was talking to someone another dog walker about his movies.

And I still forgotten the ones you know, the the trilogy is a trilogy or for the G, where he's like a hitman or a retired hitman. And we couldn't remember the name of the show. And we were talking about video games that got turned into TV shows or movies rather wasn't shows as movies.

And he said that's one of those ones that was really good and turned into a movie. We couldn't remember the thing. And I was like, I started to start thinking about Keanu Reeves and all the things he's done over the years.

I mean, I guess he's most famous to a lot of people is most famous for the Matrix. For me, I would say still most famous for Bill and Ted's excellent adventure. And the other one.

He Yeah, for me that that's when I first kind of means been in lots of different things breakpoint and speed was in speed was in a movie speed of Sandra Bullock. And one of the things is Keanu Reeves been in. He played an angel.

Oh, he was in a really good one recently, where he was an angel. But he didn't have any wings. And his name wasn't Clarence.

And he know he did have wings, but there were little wings. Yeah, I won't spoil the story. But it's a good movie.

It's really light hearted. And it's kind of nice. And yeah.

But I just remember, for me, the movies that I remember most, the first ones was Bill and Ted's excellent adventure. And I loved it so much that I actually audio taped the dialogue from the movie. Because I love the word I've never heard that kind of talking before.

And it etched on my brain. Like it's etched in now is what I was 19 at the time. Perhaps too old to be getting excited over dialogue in a movie.

But still, still, I was. And it's etched. So I can do an impression of, to be fair, I could do both of them.

Because they both kind of spoke the same, didn't they? And, but Bill was, Bill was Keanu, wasn't it? And Ted was the other one? I think not 100% sure. So should we do it like what was trying to think of one of the sentences they said? Hey, dude. Because they did the whole way, yes way, no way.

Before who else did it? What's his name? Yeah, way, no way. They were the first ones to do that, I think in movies. And then what's his name? Did it? Golden balls.

The spy who shagged me that that that one. He didn't he go way? Yeah, way. Yeah, way.

What? No. Wow, I forgot about that. Maybe, maybe they were first.

Him and Bill and Ted. I forgot about them too. What was that movie called? I'll have to search that.

That's absolutely ridiculous. It's such a long time ago. I forget the name of it.

Let's have a look. So the is ridiculous. You know, I'm getting fed up with laptop.

Sometimes I'm typing and then it puts in the other thing next to it. So it types it. It's not typing it back to fall back to it.

But it's the none of that made sense. Does it really know the way I just explained that? But it is like I start writing something. So the first six words, and then I'll carry on typing.

And then it will start after the third word. And muddles it up. I don't know why.

So Mike Myers is 62 years old, should be 63. Wayne's World. I don't even remember what happened in World's World.

But Wayne's World was after Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. Because I watched that in 1990. Wayne's World was 1992.

So that whole way, yes way, was Bill and Ted, they did it before Wayne's World. That's all I'm saying. That's all I wanted to say.

There was no nothing else to say. Yeah. When did he do Austin Powers 97.

So I'm married an axe murder. Yeah, that was a good I quite like that. Producer, producer, producer, producer, writer.

He's written a lot of things. Wow, he wrote Wayne's World. So I'm married an axe, he wrote that one.

But uncredited. Wayne's World too, he wrote that Austin Powers, the first one, he wrote that. The second Austin Powers he wrote, the third Austin Powers he wrote.

The Love Guru. Let's just move on from that. And yeah, he didn't write anything after that.

I'm not sure if anyone would pay for any of his movies after that. You know, you can be in the movies, but we're not paying for you to write anything. Shrek.

Who do you think when you think of Mike Myers? What do you think of him? As when you think of him? Like, because he's been in so many different things. Do you think of him as Wayne from Wayne's World? Do you think of him as Austin Powers? Or do you think of him as Shrek? Shrek 5 is coming out. I didn't even know there's a Shrek 4.

So how many Shreks have I seen then? Shrek 2001.

Watch that. Loved it. All the care, all the different cartoons and the the the different characters that came out was brilliant.

And then there's a Shrek 3. Shrek 3. Shrek 4. Shrek 5. From the cartoon Fairy Tale Land. Brilliant. I loved it.

And he was still doing Austin Powers 2002. So Shrek was 2001. Austin Powers gold member.

Wasn't that the one with Beyonce? Gold member. So the cat in the hat. I watched it.

It wasn't really not really into the right the rhymy, rhymy stuff. There was a cat in the hat. His toe went splat.

Remote disconnected from the thing. Okay. And Shrek 2 was 2004.

Shrek the third was 2007. Shrek the fourth was 2010. That was Shrek Forever After.

So Shrek the fourth. Oh, two. No, that's Shrek the fourth.

Third. Shrek the third. Shrek the fourth.

So Shrek the fourth was 2010. So it's been 17 or 16 years. And the next one is going to be 2027.

So basically, it will be 17 years since the last one. Wow. The Ministry of ungentlemanly gentlemen.

Ministry of ungentlemanly gentlemen. That's weird. What is that? The Ministry of ungentlemanly gentlemen.

Ah, produced by Guy Ritchie. Starring Henry Cavill, Alan Richardson, Eliza Gonzales. So Mike Myers is in that apparently, but it's not even listed.

Not even a mentioned. This is weird. So why is it saying 2027, when the movie was actually released in 2024? That makes no sense.

The Ministry of ungentlemanly all well warfare. Hmm. Yeah, it's saying here.

Oh, I got it wrong. Sorry. It was 2024.

2027 was Shrek five. We've got to wait all that time for Shrek five. 1975.

He was in a TV show called King of Kensington. Did anyone else know that Mike Myers was a kid star, a TV like was on TV when he was younger? I didn't know that. Because 1975.

Bearing in mind that he was born in 1975. In 1962. So what's that? 13 years old.

So he's 13. So was he a child star? He's Canadian. Following a series of appearances on several Canadian television programs.

He attained recognition during his six seasons as a cast member on the NBC sketch comedy series, Saturday Night Live from 85 to 90, 89 to 8 to 95. I mean, Mike gained recognition in 1989. But by 1995, he was a massive star in movies, isn't he? I mean, blimey.

When Wayne's World came out. Yeah, I mean, it was 1992. So what do you remember him by? Do you think of him as Shrek, Wayne or Austin Powers? So anyway, I've got my impression of Bill and Ted.

Hmm. This is Bill and Ted talking to each other. Hey, Bill, would you want to go to the beach? Yes, way.

I'd like to go to the beach, please, Bill. No, I'm Bill. You're Ted.

I'm sorry, Ted. I forgot. No, I'm Bill.

You're Ted. Okay, Bob. No, I'm Bill and you are Ted.

Okay, shall we go to the beach? Yes, let's go to the beach. I'm going to wear a hat. No way.

Yes, way. See, I mean, I listened to it so often that it just kind of got stuck in my head. Stuck in my noddle.

Oh, it's hot in here again. Sometimes I forget. Because it doesn't feel hot.

Which is weird. How can it be hot and not feel hot? I don't know. I don't know.

Oh, I watched the movie the other day. I know that movies aren't necessarily supposed to be, like, realistic. But there was this movie and it had a Mr. Yawnypants.

And the two brothers have this punch up and they're really bad. And you see them, like, later on in the day and they've had a few plasters put on them and it's fine. I mean, it marks, but fine.

It's like, no, you would literally have to go to hospital with that damaged eye. There's no way in the world. You know, it's, it's, I know, it's not supposed to be realistic.

Because if it was, the film wouldn't last very long. You know, as soon as an adult man, weighing, you know, 15 stone, jumps from a bar onto someone and lands on the table. Neither of those people are probably going to be getting off that floor without help.

You know, they're not going to just continue fighting, and then carry on outside the bar, and then go on a big car race. And like, no. If you jump off a height with another adult, and you land on top of a wooden table.

You're going to be in trouble. Don't do it, boys and girls, don't do it. So there, learn, learn from my mistakes.

I nearly got kicked out of a pub once for kicking a fish and chip wrapper around. I'd finished with the chips, you know, put them inside a plastic bag and I started kicking it around like a football. Apparently, that wasn't acceptable.

I mean, I wasn't to know there'd been a funeral. You know, I didn't know what was going on in the next room, because they had a saloon, saloon, salon, saloon. I mean, if you're going to have like, a partition bit off where there's some activity going on there, which requires some respect, then let everyone else know.

Yeah, but you should be respectful all the time. Look, if you want me to be to behave and be respectful in a pub, they don't sell alcohol. I don't drink, but I used to.

It amazes me. It amazes me that, like someone would get arrested for doing something, for the way they behave after they've done something completely illegal. So it's not illegal to have 10 pints of lager.

But what you do next is generally going to be illegal, because that's a lot of lager. That's a heck of a lot. I've never, wow, my body couldn't take that much.

But how many, how many liters of blood do we have? Is it six liters or something? So 10 pints of lager, I don't know how many liters that is, or 20. I actually don't know the answer to that. I am falling asleep as we talk.

That's me snoring. I'm a bit tired, but I think it's just this weather. I think the weather's making me a bit more tired than normal, maybe.

But on that note, should we get Nelson Mandela to say goodbye to everyone? Goodbye. Thank you all for listening. Remember to be kind to yourself, because you deserve to be happy.

And remember, don't be gentle with yourself. You deserve to feel safe. I forget what it is when I do it in someone else's voice.

Should I do a different voice? I'll do Stevie Wonder. Thank you for listening. Remember to be kind to yourself.

Hey, no, that wasn't good. I'll do the current Prime Minister. Thank you all for listening.

Remember to be kind to yourself. I thought it was funny. I don't do politics, but this is, this is quite funny.

During a period in 2020, 21, when politicians were not supposed to be leaving their house, our current Prime Minister was leaving his house because he was having elocution lessons, which made me think, what the hell did he sound like before? Why can't we, why can't we get a Prime Minister in this country that actually talks clearly? Just clearly. Someone that just talks. And the last one that really did, I suppose, would be, I'm not even sure if Sue Neck did, Johnson didn't, maybe Cameron, but recently, no.

It's been a pleasure to be in this, to be the king of this country now. And we're going to make some changes. Is it the collars that people are wearing that's restricting their vocal cords? Let me see if I do this collar up.

Okay, I can't do the collar up. Wait a minute, maybe I can. I'll stretch, oh, I stretched it.

I'll stretch it enough. Oh, got it. Now, this is how I talk.

See, yeah, it is a bit restricted. Now, Mr Speaker, I would like to say, it is restricted. Oh, that was horrible.

Imagine if I went, if I had to work in an office again, I'd have to get, this is, what is this? What size is this? Anyone? Can anyone see what size it is? XL or XLLX, I think it might just be XL. So I don't have to have like a double X or double L, whatever it is, or extra, extra large for my neck. So, the idea of going back to wearing a tie, oh, no, that don't appeal to me.

It really don't appeal to me. A tie, oh. But I see people that are just, that dress like that, and I've always got a tie on.

And I think that's got to be, maybe that's why so many of them do sound so restricted. Because I like that all the time. Not sitting up straight, I've got a tie on and then, and it's, you can't, instead of just talking, you know, just this almost like, I don't know.

I don't quite know what it is. But yeah, I won't, I don't even wear, okay, I don't wear, do I? Okay, I did. But the last two funerals I've been to, I've not worn a suit.

But they were friends. I know that I wouldn't be able to get away with that if it was a family member, because, yeah, I probably would have to wear a suit. But I don't own a suit.

It's not just, it's not like, I couldn't fit into it. Could not fit into it. I mean, I went to a wedding.

I couldn't fit into it at my Nan's funeral, which was 11 years ago. Well, no, yeah, 11 years ago. I could hardly fit into it when I was at my brother's, my stepbrother's wedding, which was, well, both their weddings, I think, in the last 11 years.

And I wore the same suit. In fact, I think my, my stepsister's was before my Nan passed. So, so my, my stepbrother was probably about eight years ago, seven years ago.

And I really couldn't fit into it. It was, like, really, really, really tight. Very uncomfortable.

So in the end, I just chucked it out. Because what's the point of something I'm not going to fit into? But, so I'd have to go and buy a new suit, just for the occasion. So, yeah, I went to another wedding, actually.

Was I living here? I don't think I'd moved in here yet. So I went to another wedding. And yeah, I didn't wear, not another wedding, I went to, yeah, I went, I didn't wear anything other than just a shirt and some trousers at that wedding.

Yeah, I'm not, I don't want to dress up anymore. For anything, really. But I kind of won't have a choice, really.

I'll have a choice, but I feel very obligated. If, if it was a family occasion, like a wedding or a funeral, to dress up appropriately, I guess. That's just an expense, isn't it? Well, Vinnie is starting to make a noise there.

So I'm going to go. So thank you for listening. Remember to be kind to yourself.

You do deserve to be happy and be gentle with yourself. You deserve to feel safe. Lots of love.

Bye. And I will be back. I'll be back tomorrow with another exciting episode.

I've led people you to sleep. Actually, my neck's hurting a little bit there. I think it was just a muscle sleeping a bit weirdly last night.

Weirdly. Bye.