Read along
Complete transcript
Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name's Jason Newland. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. Now I'm going to do a Q&A Friday.
I think I want to continue to do Q&A Fridays because they're the one things I actually quite like. It gives you, the listeners or watchers, viewers, whatever you want to call yourself, viewers, yeah, an opportunity to ask me anything. So I'm going to do a Q&A Friday today.
So please only listen when you can safely close your eyes if you have not said that already. I'm a little bit flummoxed because my recording equipment behind me has stopped working. It's broken.
Which means I'm going to have to rely solely on the microphone attached directly to the camera, which is my iPad. Hopefully that's okay. I can't really do anything else about it, unfortunately.
Yeah, it's a little bit of a poo bag, to be honest. I hope it's okay. If you can notice behind me, I have some soundproofing that came yesterday and put it up.
It's 12, 24, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 1, 2, 3, 6, 9, 12, 21, 3, 6, 9. Don't look at the back of my head. 3, 6, 9, 12, 34, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23. Should be 24.
And isn't it weird? I'm pretty much bald, but I'm trying to cover up the bald patch on a bald head. It's been raining pretty much the last two or three days. But something I've noticed, something I've noticed is that in the park where we live, we've got a park, and most years it gets waterlogged, right? Part of the park completely undercover with water.
It floods. That's probably a better way, it floods. And sometimes it goes over the pathway as well, completely floods that area.
You can always get up the other way and walk around, so it's not like blocking anything, but inconvenient. And it stays like that for ages, especially on the grass. Now I can't remember the last time I saw that.
Well I can't, I clearly can because I just described it, but you know, not this year. I don't think it's been waterlogged at all this year. I just realised how boring that story was.
I catch myself off guard sometimes, I'll be honest. These are the kind of stories and things I would talk to people about, and I wonder why they don't answer my phone calls. So I want to show you something.
Wait there. The problem with this, nearly turned around then, is the soundproofing has this plastic thing you pull off and it's supposed to, it's got adhesive, but I'm noticing that bits still keep falling, coming off the wall. And I'm not quite sure what to do about that, because if it was on the floor, I could put something heavy on it.
I can't leave something heavy against the wall, because I would need to some kind of get some anti-gravity chamber to do that. So this is what I originally put up, from Cara sent me this to put on the backdrop, but the wall just wouldn't hold it up. And then I started thinking, I do need some soundproofing, especially, probably more here to be fair, because this is where I am.
So I thought I'd get some from the back, get some from the sides, and maybe try and fill the whole wall. Not right now, it's going to take probably a few months to do it, but get the whole wall done, because the wall over that side is done, but it's black, it's been on there for, I don't know, five, six years, it's grotty. I think it'd be nice to have a little bit of colour, add some colour into the room, make it, because these are much nicer to look at than the black ones, although they're not as thick.
So, I don't know, I'm just experimenting. Vinnie, it's not a toy. Excuse me.
Get off. So, what I did yesterday is, I started thinking, because I was doing that, right, on the wall, and I thought, ooh, I feel very handy right now, very handy, like accomplished, like, ooh, I actually done something with my own three hands, and I thought, I wonder what else I could do that I'm putting off. And the first thing that came to mind is the net curtains, because I've got no net curtains in either the bedroom or the living room.
I'm in the living room now. No net curtains. And I also want some net curtains that you can't really see through.
Let's light through, but you can't see through them. So, look at this. No, this isn't the right one.
This isn't the right one. This is the other thing that colour blocks. Sorry.
I don't know where they are then. Where are they? They're not here. But they're that colour, but they're more sort of see-through.
I'm just thinking I'll get to see through that. So, these are curtain rails. Shower rails.
Shower curtains. I'm still going to make use of those, so thank you. I am.
I'm just a little bit not sure where I'm going and kind of trying to get the colouring right. But I've got some net curtains. I've got yellow ones and blue ones.
Blue ones are going to go in here, because that's going to match the background, although you won't see the net curtains. And they're being delivered today. And I've got yellow ones.
Yeah, I've had to get two, because the windows are quite wide. I've got quite big windows. So, I've had to get two sets of curtains for each window.
So, I have to try and even them out, so they don't look really, you know, but people aren't going to be able to see in. I guess they will be if the light's on, you know, but generally, at the moment, I can't like peek out the window without people seeing me look out the window. Although, to be fair, you know, someone sort of moans, what are you doing looking at me through the window?
It's like, that's what the windows are built for.
To look through. To see through for a reason. You know, the first person who built a window, did he have the conversation? Should we just have it made of wood? No.
Why not? Well, we need it so that when we have to see out, we have to keep opening it. I suppose we could put some glass in. I don't know.
I mean, windows. I mean, you think go back. Did houses just have a hole there? They'd have the frame and there'd just be a hole so the wind could come in and then someone thought, you know what, it'd be warmer if we didn't have that hole there.
And maybe they did fill it up. They filled it with wood, but then there was no sunlight. So they couldn't see in.
Couldn't see anything because there was no electricity back then, was there? And as you know, like, even in summer, sometimes it's cloudy, isn't it? And it's, you know, it's not light inside. It's lighter outside than it is inside. Even with the wooden windows.
This recording is not really about windows, though. That wasn't the aim. Yeah, I had a shave today.
Thanks. Thanks for asking. Well, he had a shave.
I thought, you know what? It's really weird because I shaved my face, but another part of my body's itchy. And I didn't do any kind of manscaping or anything. So I don't know what's going on there.
We can't just, you know, I don't see anybody. I see one person. I can't find a moment to say hi.
I was around Jaws the other day. I just got a personal question. I hope you don't mind me asking them.
You don't by any chance have crabs, do you? Because I've got itchy. I'm itchy. And I haven't been with anyone for years.
Like that. It's an awkward conversation. No? All right then.
All right. Lots of my dad. So yeah.
So I'm doing the net curtains in this country, in this room. I'm going to do the net curtains. The net curtains already arrived, but they're on the bed.
I thought they were here, but they're not. They're on the bed. I don't know why, because I only remember taking one in the bedroom.
And then I'm going to, maybe I'll do a little tour, a little tour so you can see. And so the yellow ones would be in the bedroom. The blue ones would be in here.
Because in a way, in the summer, that'd be lovely, wouldn't it? Because I wake up and it'd be all sunny and bright. Yeah, that'd be nice. Oh, and I've got some, because the net curtains, the person that fixed my window from the council, ages ago, actually, probably, but you know, doesn't seem like too long ago.
He broke the blind. He pretty much pulled the blind off the wall. So I've got a net curtain up.
It's fallen apart because it's been there for 11 years nearly. And everyone can see in. If I've got the lights on, everyone can see in.
So what I'm going to do, I've got this, do you know this stuff they put on, dodgy people put on their car windows so they can do dodgy things in their car without being seen? Yeah, I've got some of that. So I've got some of that dark, dodgy, stick-on film thing to put on my window in the kitchen, just the bottom bit. And then it will also, at some point, get replaced with net curtains as well.
So that'd be good. Hopefully, I think it's going to let light in, but the top window, I won't touch because no one can see me because I'm too short. So I'd have to be like over probably 6'2", 6'3", before anyone could see me because it's quite high up.
Or 5'10", I don't know. And I've got a few more of the ones there, but they're going to be white, which I'm going to put at the bottom, which are just, but then this, I need some more of these, don't I? Well, at least you know I'm trying. I'm giving it a go.
If you're listening on the podcast, you're not even going to know, are you? I might be describing something that's not even real. You might watch the video and I might be sitting in a field milking a cow. Who knows? I'm not.
I'm just saying, if it gets you to watch the video, I suppose there's one more view, isn't it? Oh, itchy side, itchy side. So I've been thinking about some things I could do while I'm doing my talking, you know, while I'm just chatting, because I put a poll on my YouTube, my Facebook page, my Facebook group rather, which is Jason Newland's Boring Group. Asking what people prefer, if they prefer me to do the random just stuff that I'm best at, or to do, you know, to be more focused or, you know, both equally.
And the biggest one was both equally. And second was just the free form kind of stuff. Because this, occasionally, it's nice to have a focus like, okay, let's focus on this.
But I'll do that anyway. You know, if I'm in the mood, and I decide I want to talk about the moon, then I will talk about the moon. And I might do go through all facts about the moon.
That's kind of stuff that I used to do in the past anyway. It's just, it works better, I think, for me, if I'm in the mood for it, rather than sort of doing it because it's a Tuesday, you know. Nearly went out today.
I did phone someone, see if they'd look after Vinnie, but they didn't answer. Bless them. Bless them.
Also got the curtains have been already expected today, they've already been. Oh, that's weird. Right, so I'm waiting for the wire, you know, the wire that goes across the window that you put the curtains on.
As soon as I get that, I'll put them up. Here's a question. Well, the first thing is, I wish I'd done like taking more, made more attention or paid more attention at school when it came to measurements.
Because I thought I was looking at inches, when actually I was looking at centimeters. And, you know, I know certain measurements, you know, haven't changed for a while for most of my life and some measure certain measurements and I was looking like that can't be three inches, three inches is bigger than that. Those three centimeters I was looking at.
And the window across the window is like 175 centimeters. So I had to figure out what that was in kilograms. Sorry, I was ridiculous kilograms.
I just made myself laugh. I do apologize. That was pathetic.
That was really sad. I had to figure out how much it was in inches and then you got meters and you and like, well, I think it's like one and a half meters or something like that. How, if I get this cord and it's too long, it's just going to be all floppy, isn't it? How do I make it less floppy? This is a genuine question.
I don't know how to do it. I've got the screws. I've got a pack coming.
There's some wires, I think two wires and pack of screws are going. I mean, do you just cut it to length and then you could just screw a screw thing in? Is that how you do it? Is that how it works? So I've already got the hooks on the windows that my dad put on like nearly 11 years ago and in the bathroom in the bedroom as well.
But.
Oh, that'd be so nice. Because, you know, sometimes, right? I just want to look out the window. It's not like I want to spy on people.
Sometimes I want to spy on people, but it's not all the time. It's most of the time. It's not.
Sometimes I just want to look out the window. It's my window. I've got a big window.
You know, it's quite a size, actually, quite a nice big window. Sometimes it's nice just to stand, put my hands on the windowsill and just have a look around. Maybe look up at the trees, see if I can see any squirrels.
Look down on the ground, see if I can see any squirrels. Basically, I like to look for squirrels. There was one in the garden the other day.
But I worry about that squirrel. It's just there's a lot of cats around here. And.
I mean, squirrels are very fast, but so are cats. I'd say it's weird, right? Uncle Sausages. Should we call it a remembrance ceremony? His leaving ceremony? Back in.
Was it September? End of August, September time. So I'm in the. The grounds of the cemetery and.
Last time I was there was for my friend Luke. So it's kind of weird being back there. But I know my way around now, which is weird.
Because when I go to places, I go early. So I'm just wandering around. I was there about half an hour before I needed to be.
And I saw these pink, not penguins, I saw these. Not pigeons, what was I talking about? Squirrels. I saw these squirrels, but they were red squirrels.
Now, I hear people moaning about the grey squirrels. That the grey squirrels are coming and taking everything away from the red squirrels. And the red squirrels were here first.
And the grey squirrels are coming like. It's kind of like talking to someone, a reform. It's about squirrels.
They shouldn't be in our country. They should all leave. Take their nuts with them.
Let the red squirrels. Red squirrels first. Red squirrels first.
You know, that kind of thing. And I saw these red squirrels. I've not seen for a while.
I mean, not those particular squirrels. But they weren't sort of shouting. Hey, Jay, how you doing, mate? You all right? Who are you? Who are you burning today? No, it wasn't that.
It was. It was. Kind of a surprise.
Because I haven't seen red squirrels for a long time. Because in. In England.
Well, OK, where I live, the parts that I live. Because I'm very much. Even like the squirrels out here are grey.
So I don't see red squirrels in the fields. So even though I'm in countryside. And I've lived mainly in cities most of my life.
And although all the cities are close to the countryside anyway. So I don't know what parts of the country have red squirrels. I'm guessing Nottingham.
Might have red squirrels like in Nottingham Forest. You know where. Sean Connery used to live.
When he was. Robin Hood. I used to like Robin Hood, you know, TV shows.
There's one really, really good TV show. And I think it was. I think it might be in the 80s.
And it was like this added music. It was like that. And.
His sister was a witch or something. And. It was good.
I liked it. And Friar Tuck was funny. And he had.
Wasn't Friar Tuck. He was like a. Like a religious person or something. Or former religious person like a priest or something.
And he had a haircut which was kind of. Like a Friar Tuck. And.
I don't know what parts. Maybe let me know if there's parts of the country. And if you're in England or maybe Scotland or Wales.
Let me know if you have red squirrels or grey squirrels. I don't want any of the. You know.
Deflammatory language about grey squirrels. I want to hear that. You know, I think.
We're divided enough as it is without getting into squirrels. Okay. I mean, they look the same.
It's just different coloring. That might be controversial. But I stick to that.
They're pretty much the same. They're squirrels. Like human beings.
Some people wear glasses. Some people don't wear glasses. Then there's those cheaters that wear contact lenses.
Pretending that they're normal. Then there's people like me that have to just. Will never wear contact lenses ever.
Couldn't couldn't do it. But you know what? That's what I look like about my glasses. I think glasses probably suit me.
In a way, because anything that covers up part of my face is only a good thing. I mean, honestly. When I was walking around.
During lockdown. When I had a mask on. I was getting women walking up to me and just giving me their telephone numbers.
How many lies can I tell in one recording? Apparently. There's there's a I don't know if it's a new trend. But the trend in some places, some part of the country.
Where there's a lot of balaclava wearing. And it's there's the slogan. No face.
No case. And. That's worrying.
I've not seen it with my own eyes. But then I don't really go out. So I guess I don't.
But I don't see people. Okay. No, it's not true.
I have seen people walk around balaclavas. But they usually just bank robbers. Just like you're right.
I have to do another bank. Yeah. Didn't you make enough last time? Well, not really.
I mean, I had to go away for five years. Didn't I? So it's all spent. Your wife had a new baby and stuff while I was inside.
So yeah. What's your baby's name? I'm gonna stop there. I'm gonna stop with this.
What's the baby's name? Does he look like you? No, it's not my baby. Okay. Yeah.
There's only three types of people. No, four types of people. Four types of people wore balaclavas.
Five types of people wore balaclavas. I'm not going to name all of them. No, six.
Okay. There was people that did like sports, like skiing. They wear balaclavas, don't they? Underneath the helmet.
I think motor car races, do they wear balaclavas? Underneath the helmet. And I think people that ride motorbikes sometimes wear balaclavas underneath their helmets as well. So it's kind of a helmet thing, isn't it? Helmet.
And what's the other people? Criminals. Yeah, let's just use the word criminals to encompass a lot of different types of criminals. Some really worse than others.
So in order to cover their face so they're not recognized when they're doing their crime. There's some weird noises he's making there. So that was kind of, yeah, that was it really, wasn't it? Like people wearing balaclavas were either kind of doing some kind of sport.
Or being naughty. Not the right word, but you know, doing unlawful activities. Yeah, I'm going to leave that there.
But now, because when I first saw people with a balaclava on, I would just assume that they were up to something. Or they've just committed a crime and they forgot to take their hat off. You know, because could you imagine that? How embarrassing.
Imagine going home, just sitting down eating your dinners like, where you been hubby? Oh, just popped to the pint, went to the pub for a pint. Okay, did you hear about the bank that was just done? No, I didn't hear about that. Yeah, yeah, they didn't catch the people.
And you're having your dinner and you go upstairs and you realize you've left the balaclava on. Even worse if the police knock on the door. Hello sir, can we come and have a chat? Yeah, sure, come in.
Do you want a cup of tea? Biscuits? And like, just chatting, not realizing you've still got the balaclava on and the gloves and maybe a big bag full of money falling on the floor. Crowbar. I don't know, I don't know what the... Suctions, you know, suctions.
That takes you back to milking a cow now. When I was younger, we used to have lots of like these cat burglars. Now, that sounds like an insult to someone now, isn't it? You're a cat burglar.
You burgle cats. But, basically what it used to mean, if you don't know what it means, you probably do, but you might not. I don't know why they call them cat burglars.
Well, no, I kind of do actually. And what they would do is, they wore balaclavas as well. They'd cover themselves completely in black.
Black gloves, black top, black trousers. Now, I don't know if they had black underwear on. Hard to know.
Black socks probably, black shoes. Black nail parnish. And a balaclava.
And they'd have a torch in their mouth, wouldn't they? How would they hold the torch if they'd got a balaclava on? I suppose if they had like the mouth cut out so they could... But then I see that and I think of... Yeah, another thing people wear balaclavas for. Chains and pulleys and yeah. Swings.
I've dated a few people in the past. I've never met anyone once and gone into their bedroom and like... What's the swing for? Why have you got a swing in the bedroom? Never done that, never. Seated movies.
Not the kind of movies that they stream on telly, but... Balaclavas. Yeah, cat burglars. So they'd climb up buildings and they'd have these suction... Like that and they'd suck like... Almost like Spider-Man.
Climbing up this glass building and then... Drilling a hole through the glass and climbing in and... Dodging all the rays, the security rays because they were specialists. And I guess that's why they called them cat burglars because... They had the prowess of a cat. Yeah.
And then they'd get the crown jewels and whatever and they'd get escape and... The only one that could ever really catch them was Batman. Maybe Spider-Man sometimes, but... Or the Pink Panther. Inspector Clouseau.
And like a loom. That is funny actually, you think about it. I know it's a funny film, but like going to someone... A French person talking to another French person in a hotel saying... I'd like a loom.
A loom? What's a loom? Thing is, there's a TV, there's a movie called Carry On... Carry On Loving I think it's called. And there's a scene in that movie... Which is very, very similar to a scene in the Carry On movie... In a Pink Panther movie. So Sid James... Goes outside... And basically his girlfriend is leaving him.
She jumps into a taxi and drives off. So he puts his hand up, taxi... And he says, taxi... Follow that taxi. And the taxi drives off.
So he gets another one, follow that one... And that one drives off as well. The same scene was in the Pink Panther movies. Which were earlier, because I think the Pink Panthers were the 60's.
And he says, follow that car... Follow that car... And the taxi sort of just pulls off without him getting in. And... I was amazed, surprised that they managed to get away with that. Because... Or perhaps... The thing is... I don't think the Carry On movies were... Possibly that known in America.
But Peter Sellers was English. And he must have seen the Carry On movie with that in. Because he was... Unless the Pink Panther was later, because he did... They did do him in the 70's as well, didn't they? Follow that car... I like that.
See, I wasn't... Because I grew up watching Peter Sellers films. And it was hard to see anyone else kind of taking that role. And... Even though I definitely used to be a huge Steve Martin fan.
Back in the early days when... All the way up to Planes, Trains, Automobiles. The one he did with Michael Caine. The Three Amigos.
You know, those later films that he did. I think once he did the ones with the kids. Parenthood and stuff, I stopped watching his movies after that.
And then he did one called Novocaine, I think. So I saw that, I liked that. He was in Little Shop of Horrors as well, wasn't he? So that was good.
About 84, 85. But he did... I liked all the early stuff he did. Like... With a Jerk, and you've got Man With Two Brains.
All of Me. Lonely Guy. Roxanne.
Loved Roxanne. Really, Roxanne is what made him, I think, international. That movie was a big hit.
So I think what made him known over here. He was already big in America. But I don't think The Jerk did that well in this country.
In this here, but it did in America, I think it did, but here it didn't so much. But... I think All of Me, and those other three movies, I think were better than anything he'd done. All of Me.
Man With Two Brains. And Lonely Guy. I would put those three movies as the best movies he made.
The funniest movies he made. Personally. And... Roxanne, there was more to it than just being funny.
It was just a really, really lovely movie. And... Train, Planes, Automobiles. I mean, that was just really, again, a really good movie.
It was funny, but it was also... I mean, John Candy was a nice one in that, wasn't he? And then you got the one with Michael Caine, that was funny. They're both con men. Yeah... I think it was Novo Caine, it might have been, it's a long time ago.
And he wrote the script. It was his own thing. Because he went really into kind of family orientated comedy.
Like, you know, literally... Family, kids, and all that stuff. I mean, they might have been really good movies, and they were very popular, but I just didn't watch them. Why am I talking about Steve Martin? I don't know why I'm talking about Steve Martin.
I don't know, what was I talking about? I was talking about Squirrels. Then I was talking about... Squirrels? Oh, look at this. You have to watch the video for this, but... What I thought I might try and do... Vinnie... What I might try and do is... Because I've done this before.
Believe it or not. I don't know if I've still got the video on YouTube. But I might start to make a video, and start to do some different things.
But talk while I'm doing it. Okay? So... I thought the first thing I might do... Not today, but... Because I have to get this all set up. Which means a fair bit of maneuvering around.
But now I've not got that microphone anymore to use. I can't use that equipment, so... It does free up the space a little bit, to be fair. Not in the way I wanted it to do, but... So I'm thinking... I could do a jigsaw puzzle.
So, as you can see right behind me, to the left... There's... that's a... It's a... A phone holder. So I can turn it around and film... The... Like me doing a jigsaw. But also I have the camera on me as well.
So what I could do is maybe put the camera, me talking, at the bottom of the screen. And then just mix between the two. So if I decide to stop, I'll just come back on the screen and talk.
And then I'll do the jigsaw puzzle at the same time. And it's really weird, because it's making me excited. I could try out some other things.
To see if I like them. Because I used to do... I used to do... Strotch-kitching. Stitch-cross... Cross-stitching.
Is it called cross-stitching? Yeah, cross-stitching. That's why it's called cross-stitching, because you cross, don't you? Cross over. I used to do that at school.
I used to really, really enjoy it. At junior school this is, so it's a long time ago. Over five years.
And... And you get those things where it's kind of like a... Like a tambourine. That you can do it on, so you've got a board. Rather than just have it all loose.
So you can stretch the material out and do it like that. And I was thinking... That maybe... I could do something like that as well. While I'm talking.
So I can just like... Nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh. Nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And just... Be focusing on that, but just chatting and... Oh, this reminds me of when I was once on a boat. Putting my hands in the water and thinking... Oh, that's nice and cool. I hope we're going to go home soon.
I was on the Norfolk Broads, I remember that, actually. See... I was in the Sea Cadets, and I didn't like being in the Sea Cadets. And... After about a year I wanted to leave, and I wasn't allowed to leave.
I think my parents just enjoyed me being out of the house. But I didn't. I didn't dislike being out of the house, I just didn't like being there.
Because it was just people shouting at me. I mean, the whole point of getting out of the house so that no one was shouting at me. And... They kept doing things with boats.
Like, we've stopped doing things with boats. But we're the Sea Cadets, yeah. But can't we just do more land-based things? And then they did this big, massive hike.
We went away for the weekend, and we were all camping, living rough. In the fields. Cooking our own food.
Making fires, all that stuff. And... I was like, can't we just get on a boat or something? Because this is horrible. I think at one point he said, you stay here, we'll leave you here.
And just walk up to that hedge. Just keep walking up to that hedge. When you get to that hedge, then you can turn around.
So I keep walking. When I turned around, everyone was gone. Because it was the length of the field.
Okay. I was like, what am I supposed to do now? I'm still there. I'm still literally in that field.
Okay, so I've got a compass. I did hear someone, like a little voice in my head. Use the compass, my child.
I was like, okay. For what? It tells me where north... It doesn't say... It doesn't have where McDonald's is on it, does it? It doesn't have that way for the exit. That's what a compass should have.
You hold it and it points you to where you want to go. Or give you some options. Like a signpost.
Like, go straight ahead if you want to get into town. Go left if you want to get to the church. Go right if you want to get to the supermarket.
You know what I mean? Like, let's have that on a compass. Not just north, west, south, east. North, east, west, south, blah, blah, blah.
Like, okay. Well, I can't follow the northern star because it's during the day. What's the point? You don't need to follow the northern star.
Just follow north. But what if you're not north? Like, north would always get you home. What if you live south? Just follow the northern star.
No. I'm not a geography expert, but even I know that's silly. Just follow the northern star.
No. I don't want to follow the northern star. What if I end up in Egypt? Or Canada? Or Chelmsford? You know? What use is that to me? I realise there's no one else there.
I used to have an invisible friend. But then one day he just stopped answering his front door. It's weird getting rejected by an invisible friend.
That's proper rejection. I wonder how much I believed. Because I know I believed I was a werewolf.
When I was in the Sea Cadets at the time. So I was about 12. Which is too old to be believing I'm a werewolf.
And I actually changed into a werewolf. But I went through the whole motions. This is totally true.
This might sound like I'm making it up. Because sometimes I make things up. But this is true.
I'm walking down the road. Towards where the Sea Cadets place is. I've got my uniform on.
My boots. Everything like that. I think it's a summer's evening.
And I see the moon and I think. Time to turn into a werewolf. I'm not even joking.
I know I'm laughing. If I did this as an adult. I would probably be incarcerated for a while.
I'd probably be put under observation. So I started to scream. And I'm falling over.
And my back's going. I'm literally turning into a werewolf in my mind. In my head.
And I'm on the ground. And I look up at the sky. And I realise it's not a full moon.
And I got up and I'm walking. It's really weird though. Because no one noticed.
I mean I wasn't in a crowded place. But I wonder what someone would have done. I mean I was outside a bunch of houses.
And not one person looked outside the window. To see if everything was okay. Hmm.
I'm not sure if it happened again after that. But definitely I used to believe I could walk through walls. Until one day I tried.
Sometimes that is the thing that stops it. Is to actually do it. Believe in something.
And actually being able to do it. Can sometimes be two different things. And I think if it's something that is.
Like that. I'm not sure if it was worth the bruises. But you know kind of.
The way I saw it was like. Either I can't walk through walls. Or I have to do it much more slower.
Because I had this theory when I was a little kid. That if I moved slow enough. Like really slow enough.
Or like. Minutely slow. That.
Eventually when I got to the wall. I would move through the wall. Because nothing is actually solid is it.
In reality. If you break things down. Nothing is solid.
But I realised I just didn't have that much time. You know it's like. The bell went.
Had to go back. Back to school. Or back into class.
I was going to try again. The thing is. I've got to move really slowly to get through this wall.
Like really almost like. Invisibly slowly. To the point where.
I guess there's the same kind of. Speed as time would corrode the wall. Make the wall kind of crumble.
You know. Or how weeds can grow through a wall. Because they do it very slowly don't they.
So if a weed just went. OK knocked on the wall. If a weed.
Ran out of the wall it would just. Get bruised. It would just fall over.
Or dizzy. Because it does it so slowly. So very slowly.
And it can manage to get through a wall. I was like how did it do that. Now I didn't want to turn into a weed.
It's not I was like oh I wish I was a weed. So I could get through walls. But it did seem like quite a good power to have.
And then I decided to embrace invisibility and visibility. So that was easier because. I'd say to everyone in school like play time.
I'm going to go I'm going to be invisible now. I'm going to go and. Go into the field and I'm going to be invisible not one person is going to be able to find me.
And no one ever did. I found out later. That no one was looking.
So there's me dancing around in my underwear. Mocking people. And they they could see me.
They could see me. Which was a little embarrassing after the event. I remember trying to climb out the window.
Doing maths. Just to go in like just to escape thinking well. It's a hot day the windows open anyway.
They won't know it's me because they can't see me. Well now he did then. I just remember what kind of windows they had.
They had those metal windows you know those old fashioned metal windows. And you kind of had to pull it up and push it down and. Like really big old very very old building very very ever so old.
Now this isn't a very good Q&A Friday because I've not answered any Q&A Friday questions. So I need to go and find some Q&A Friday questions. Soz.
Let's have a look. There was only a couple. Only a couple.
Right. Ali asks what do you think the opposite of fear is? You could say I mean I suppose technically the. Is different types of fear isn't there.
I mean confidence could be the opposite of fear. Sort of if you're going into a public place and. If someone's fearful about what might happen.
But if they're confident. They're not fearful. So that could be one opposite.
Maybe love is another one. But then you can still love and fear someone can't you. I think it's possible to do that.
And. Or to have a realistic level of fear. You know you can love a lion.
But be being no no. You know. It's not safe to get too close to the lion.
And fear of doing things. Sometimes not caring. Like saying I'll stuff it.
You know. So if someone for example. They might have.
Had a fear of. Flying. And then they decide you know what.
I want to go on holiday. Or. They're visiting.
Someone that they love deeply. In another country. Maybe to meet someone that they're in love with.
Or. Having to go to a family occasion. There's way more important.
Emotionally than that fear they used to have of. Flying. So sometimes not caring.
Not caring about what you know I'm not saying not caring about going to what they're doing. But not caring about it anymore like. I ain't got time for that.
Sometimes being busy is enough. I ain't got time. To be scared of that thing right now.
I've got other things going on. In the same way as. So let's say they've got a fear of bridges going over a bridge.
Now if you've got to go over the bridge to collect your lottery ticket win. How scared are you going to be of that bridge. In that moment.
You know. No I can't collect the twelve million dollars yet. Because I've got to stop here and have these feelings.
That are irrational. Chances are you won't even notice you're going down a bridge. Because you've been so inside your own head.
About all the things you're going to do with that twelve million dollars. Distractions. A distraction can be a good thing.
The opposite to fear. So I don't think it's just one thing. There's lots of things can be the opposite to fear.
I mean maybe now I'm kind of going in a way of. How you can change fear. So maybe that's distraction isn't a more of a thing like that.
Just trying to think of someone that. I mean I used to be scared of my dad. I'm not scared of him anymore.
So. You know as a kid. I mean I was scared of him.
Which is quite normal I think for a lot of kids to have. A degree of. Maybe fear of their parents maybe.
So. I don't have that now. There's no logical reason.
So logic can be the antidote. Although I know you said the opposite. Logic can be the opposite of fear.
Because. There's not that many things worth fearing. But then you've got bravery.
So bravery is the opposite to fear. But bravery can. Be harmful.
You know if you've got ten people with knives chasing you. You can be brave as you like. And just stand up to them.
You're in trouble. You have to run. That's the only option you've got.
Unless you've got a machine gun. You know some situations. Then they say like if you see a bear don't run.
What are you going to do? Get a chess board out and like. Just hope for the best. Do you want to be black or white? Fear is a weird thing because it's.
It can be. It's illogical and illogical. It can be both.
If anyone says oh fear is illogical. Well not always. Some things we need to be scared of.
You know. It's healthy to be scared of something. Some things.
And to do whatever you need to do to get yourself out of that situation. Or just generally. It might be.
I can't think of any situation. I can but I don't want to go too deep. But yeah.
What's the opposite of fear? I think feeling relaxed. I would say in. Day to day.
If it is irrational fear. It's hard to feel that. So we could say irrational fear could be anxiety.
But then I think it's. Kind of a disservice to people. To use words like irrational.
Because it's almost implying that they're a bit stupid. They're a bit dumb. They're like oh yes that's very irrational of you.
And like. That means that everyone has anxiety is. Stupid which is wrong.
Which is not right at all. It's. Regardless of the cause.
Of the stress or the strain or the anxiety. And. I think it's worthwhile being respectful to the person.
Because we all experience things differently. And. So.
I probably have used the word irrational. But perhaps I should stop. I don't mean it as a derogatory.
But I know that I've had irrational fears. But a lot of them. Will be based on.
Reality things have happened. And also. It's how I'm feeling.
It's how I was feeling. So. I don't want to be dismissive towards myself or anyone else.
It's very difficult to feel relaxed. And to feel fearful at the same time. In fact I would say.
It's impossible. So the more you relax. The more you calm down.
The less likely. Things like fear. Anxiety.
Tension. Stress. Worry.
All that stuff. That starts to reduce. Which is why I do regular recordings.
So. Instead of just listening to the same recording. Every day.
You can listen to different ones. But the underlying message is. Hopefully.
To relax. Whether or not you fall asleep. I hope that at the very least.
You feel more relaxed. Now that was probably a really bad answer to the question. Whoops.
Cheryl asks. If you could live anywhere in the world. Where would you go? There's no particular place.
That I would choose above anywhere else. I think if you were to say it right now. I'd say Thailand.
Just that I'd like to go back. But. There's an unfinished business in Thailand.
There's someone I want to go and see. But. I don't know.
I'd like to. I mean really. My ideal situation.
As I'm kind of going forward. Is. And I've been thinking about this a lot.
Over the last few years. Is. To be on cruises.
To travel around. And visit lots of different countries. And to do my podcast.
As I go along. So that. I'm still doing this.
But it's. It's going to be more interesting. If I'm.
If I'm just been to Denmark. Or just watched. Penguins.
Ice skating with giraffes. Or whatever. I don't know.
That. In the desert. That'd be.
It's going to be a more. I think it'd be more interesting podcast. For me personally.
If I'm doing a recording every day. Just saying oh today. Guess what I did today.
Or I know is some of the cruises. Yet we're still at sea. Still at sea.
Third day at sea. But that wouldn't bother me. Because I like the idea of.
Having that. Just visiting other countries. And I'm not.
I'm not talking about being. On cruises all the time. I mean you know.
At the moment. I can't really go on cruises. Because I've got Vinnie.
So I'd need to. Anything I did. I'd need to have him with me.
I struggled to get someone to look after him. Just for half an hour sometimes. Just there's.
There's no one like reliable really. So. Well I don't answer the phone.
Sometimes people. But then everyone's got their own lives going on. So can't.
Can't really rely on other people. And he doesn't want to be left on his own. Not that I would leave him on his own.
For like two weeks. But. I don't.
I don't. I could never. I don't think I could leave him in Canada.
I think he'd hate it. He'd like part of it. Because he does like.
Being around people. And maybe he'd get on with the dogs. And he'd get to play and stuff.
I think he'd. Yeah he'd miss me. I don't think he'd admit it.
But I think he'd miss me. There's. There's countries.
I really don't want to go to. But generally. Yeah.
I'm not. There's a lot of Europe. I'd like to.
Go to. And. Eastern Europe as well.
I've been to Bulgaria. I'd like to go to Poland. I'd like to go to Croatia.
I'd like to go to. All those countries and just visit. So I've met a lot of people over the years.
Worked with them. When I was in London. That are from all.
Those kind of countries. And I always got on well with them. So.
I know. You know. Meeting a few people.
Isn't. Indicative of a whole country. And I get that.
Yeah. So I'm thinking. I'd like that.
Like to go. Like to go back to Thailand. Maybe retire.
Retire to Thailand. You know when I'm sort of 70. I don't know.
75. 70. Although it might be a little bit too hot.
To be fair. I think for 70. At that age.
I don't know. I mean if I feel the cold more. Then it might be just right.
I would like to visit America. And Canada. And.
Like this part of Europe as well. So. I haven't been to Belgium for years.
So I'd like to go back to Belgium. France. To be quite cool.
To go over to. Like France or whatever. And just travel around.
Maybe get some kind of. Coach ticket. That's you know.
Staying in hotels. In every single country. In Europe.
So perhaps going through the. Channel tunnel. So leave from.
Is it Liverpool Street. Does it go to the channel tunnel. From Liverpool Street.
Was it Kings Cross. I don't know. But that'd be a train wouldn't it.
But. Yeah. Have some kind of.
Maybe on a coach. Going. To all the different countries.
In Europe. And. Yeah.
I think that'd be cool. Depending. I mean.
Depends how long the. Journeys was. You know.
I don't want to be travelling for. Way too long. But I think.
I think a cruise. Suits me better. Because.
You got more room. You can move around. And you know.
Rather than being stuck. In just one seat. Hope.
Asks. Me. What's your favourite planet.
And why. Earth. This is my favourite planet.
There is no other planet. That I would. Want to visit.
Because they don't. You can't live on them. I mean.
I think it would be. I do like the ones. I don't know.
I think that. Space is beautiful. You know.
All the different stars. The different. Planets.
The different. Solar systems. It's beautiful.
But I don't. I'd love it. If like.
In my lifetime. We got to. Find a planet.
And to actually. You know. Settle on.
But I'd like to go to a planet. Like. I know.
Elon Musk. Wants to go to Mars. Well he has been to Mars.
Hasn't he. He wants to settle down there. And.
I get it. I understand why. But at the same time.
It doesn't seem like. It would be much fun. If we're going to do that.
We could do that on the moon. Why don't we settle down. On the moon.
Why don't we have. A whole colony. With thousands.
And thousands. And thousands. Or hundreds of thousands.
Of people. On the moon. Digging tunnels.
And building an underground city. Unless it's already been done. And we just don't know about it.
Why do we have to go. All the way to Mars. To do that.
And we can't breathe in Mars. We can't. It's not.
So yeah. I don't know. If there was another planet.
That I could. Breathe on. That I could like.
Live on. Then I would want to travel that. I'd travel and go there.
I'd like to visit. But I kind of think. This is weird but.
You can kind of go. To a different planet. Just by going to a different country.
Like Thailand. Is a different world. Compared to here.
Different. Like. Yeah they have.
There's some similarities. Human beings and stuff. But it's different.
The smell is different. The air is different. The temperature is different.
It's just everything. I'm pretty sure if you went to Russia. After leaving here.
Or Thailand. Go from Thailand to Russia. Or go from Thailand to the Antarctic.
It's a different planet. You might as well have landed. With a spaceship.
Different planet. I know it's the same planet. But it's like.
I mean literally. If you'd never been. If we were still back in the old days.
When. We didn't know about other parts of the world. And you took off.
From Arizona. Didn't know about the Antarctic. And you landed.
In the Antarctic. And the space people got out. And said.
Oh look. You could just tell them. Yeah you're on another planet now.
Oh. It's a bit cold. Oh they have water here as well.
And penguins. It's very much. Very much like the Antarctic.
But yeah. You know what I mean. So in a sense.
We do have different planets. They're just different countries. If you travel far enough away.
It is a different world. I mean even. France.
Spain. So different from here. Well it's been a while since I was there.
But then if you go to different parts of this country. It's different. There's a lot of similarities.
Same old shops everywhere. Same weather. Same miserable faces.
But. It's still different. You know.
It's a different. Maybe different atmosphere. So.
As far as planets go. I may be called to go and walk on the moon. Providing it was a safe.
I mean. In the future. Walking on the moon.
Might just literally be it. An afternoon trip. You go up in space.
Later. Land on the moon. Have a little walk around.
And then come back. And it's like a. A day excursion. Maybe.
You know. It's a nice treat to. Give to someone for their birthday.
And then go and have a McDonald's Happy Meal. I used to like. Uranus.
I just think. Uranus is pretty. Especially the ring.
I'm just so. I'm just being. You know what I mean.
You know the ring that goes around Uranus. It's very beautiful. Isn't it? Like.
You know. If you look at it through. Like a telescope.
Like a proper telescope. Not the kind of one. That I used to have.
Although there's nothing wrong. With the one I used to have. Because it was a proper telescope.
But it wasn't. Like. You know what I mean.
Hobble. Is it hobble? Cobble. Wobble.
Double. Oh. I wonder if I've had a delivery.
No. I thought it. No.
Okay. Fair enough. Oh.
Oh. I was going to show you this. Look.
This is a jigsaw puzzle I got. Ravens Burger Puzzle. 500.
Dog's Delight. Selfies. So I thought.
You know. As a first one. Because I did have one.
Which was. The Avengers. From an.
The Avengers movie. One of them. And I did that.
It took a while to do it. I'm not sure. If I finished it or not.
I think I did. Now I don't know. How small the pieces will be.
I can't open it right now. Because it's going to make a lot of noise. But I hope this.
The pieces aren't too small. Because. Otherwise.
Now I don't want to do. Like big massive pieces. That are like for three year olds.
But then. What age is this for? It doesn't say. It doesn't have an age on it.
Handmade. Handmade tools. Premium quality.
According to this. It looks quite small. I mean that's the size of the box.
So maybe 500 in there. I might have to get very close to it. Or get some kind of magnifying glass out.
So that's it for me. Mmm. And that was my Q&A Friday.
I hope the sound is okay. And I'm going to go. I can't believe my recording studio.
Has just broke on me. Never mind. Let's see if this.
If this sounds okay. Then I'm fine with this. So thank you for listening.
Remember. To be kind. To yourself.
Remember to be gentle. Because you do deserve to be happy. And you do deserve to feel safe.
Also remember that. If you need to ask for help. It's okay.
Okay. Everyone needs to ask for help sometimes. So take care.
Lots of love. Bye. Bye.
Bye.
Paragraph spacing and recurring name or title errors have been tidied. Because this began as a voice transcription, an occasional word or piece of punctuation may still be incorrect.