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Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name's Jason Newland and this is Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes.
And today is Monday's Boring Objects. Monday's, Monday's Boring Objects. Yeah.
Or Monday's Sleepy Boring Objects really should be called. Yeah, Monday's Sleepy Boring Objects. Why have I not called it that then? I seem to forget the word sleepy for some reason.
Oh well. Still got to update the Monday's Boring Objects page. Why is, why have I not done that? I don't know.
Nineteenth September 2021. Nineteenth, that's weird. September.
That's like long time ago. I don't to do a recording last night. And fireworks started again.
So I had to abandon that. So it's 4.20. It's not dark outside. So I'm hoping there won't be any fireworks at all.
At least like six or seven. But if there is, then I might have to abandon this one as well. I've just been very tired today.
I also had a neighbour come around and I've been taking Vinnie out on a couple of walks with him. So I have to catch up with Big Brother. I didn't watch it last night.
Yeah, I'm thinking of sticking, because you know, I talked about doing, like having a regular, not changing, sticking to it, plan, routine between, you know, for the whole of next year. And not making any changes, which I can't guarantee because I've still been making changes. But it's more like additions.
But I'm thinking maybe now that I've got quite a good week, as far as Monday's Boring Objects, Trivia Tuesday, Whisper Wednesday, Thursday Throwbacks and Q&A Friday. So there's five, five days in a row. You know, every day.
And it's taken me a while to get that kind of, so it fits, it seems to fit now. I mean, Q&A Friday is very well established, I would say. Monday's Boring Objects, I would also say, is established.
Trivia Tuesday feels quite established as well now. And Whisper Wednesday, I've done it, then I haven't done it, then I have done it, and now I do do it. Thursday Throwbacks is a new thing.
So I've done two weeks so far. But just to finish the current season of 80s TV shows by year, I've done 80 and 81. So I got 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89.
So still eight years left, which is going to take me up to the end of the year pretty much. And then I can even go back to maybe I can go to the 1990s TV shows. Or, well, I'd be going forward, wouldn't it? But going back, but forward, if you know what I mean.
And then talking about, I could do one talking about songs, albums, movies. The list is quite long, I imagine, of different things that I could focus on. Clothing.
Not that I've ever been particularly fashionable, but I could talk about stuff like that. But that would be a bit more research. Trends, technology, new technologies in these different years.
Because you know, things like mobile phones, the internet, microwave ovens, soda streams, the PC. So many old video recorders or video players. So many different things that kind of popped up throughout my life.
That just became, well, some have come and gone. Some did stick around for a long time, like the video recorder, video player, and the DVD player. But now with streaming, that seems to have, I don't know if they still sell them, I guess, I guess they're still available.
Yes, that's something, you know, in the future. Even things like beards, and makeup, and different. I don't know if you want to say fashions, but there's been different eras, isn't there? Like with music and with like punk and dressing up and things.
What is it like emo, emo, emo, emo, which is like all black and wearing gothic kind of, yeah, gothic-y stuff. Or gothic-y, I don't know what's the difference between emo, emu and gothic. But, oh, is emu's different colour hair? Is it? I don't know.
I remember a few years ago, seeing a lot of young women walking around with grey hair, like dyeing their hair grey. And I thought, wow. Just in a sense of, oh, I just had a bit of an interruption there.
It sounded like someone chucked something at the window. I went into the bedroom. I looked out there and there's nothing.
No one in the garden. We've got, I think it's an acorn tree out the back and it's quite windy. So I guess maybe it's one of those or whatever.
But, hmm. Yeah. So, I mean, Vinnie heard it, it didn't bother him.
So I guess maybe he's just used to it. He's used to the sounds of the things hitting the window. We do get it sometimes, but, hmm.
I was just curious. Anyway, grey hair on young, actually it wasn't just women, it's young boys as well. And it's like, it's out of all the trends, I found that, well, I don't know, I don't even know why.
Probably, maybe it's because I'm grey and I don't want to be grey. And that, that's, yeah. Yeah, I just, I don't know.
I mean, I used to shave my head when I was in my 30s. I didn't need to, I just, because I was, you know, quite into the Buddhism. And I was around people with shaved heads and I don't know, I just thought I'd do it.
And part of my reasoning is, at the time, when I was in my house, in my early 30s, all the way through pretty much, I've been shaving my head since then, you know, on and off. But my main reason why I was completely bald for quite a while is that if I ever did go bald, in reality, you know, when I'm older, then it wouldn't bother me.
And you know what? I was wrong.
I was dead wrong. It does bother me. And you might think, how, how can it bother you having a bald patch when you shave your head? It does.
Because, although I don't need to shave my head because the bald patch isn't, it's at the back of my head, I can't see it. But it's more prominent when I've got hair. Which kind of makes sense, doesn't it? I guess a bald patch would be more prominent when it's surrounded, like an island is more prominent when it's surrounded by sea.
If it was surrounded by land, then, well, it wouldn't be an island anymore, would it? I guess. But grey hair, it was just, yeah, I didn't really, I've got no issue with grey hair anyway, just let you know, I'm not, not prejudiced against grey hair, blimey. I have partial grey hair.
I'm not completely grey. But I do have the front, the sides a bit. I've got grey hair bits and, you know, but it's still, I've still got dark hair as well.
I have, honest, I can prove it. I can't prove it. I'm just, it's just my word, isn't it? But whenever I shave, oh, my beard, my beard is proper grey now.
I mean, it's still dark there, but if, when I shave my beard off, it's still just a mixture of white, it's not even grey anymore, it's like white, ginger and dark brown. And some colours I don't even recognise. They don't even look human to me.
I mean, Fimi's a ginger. I do wonder, I do get his, his hairs on my face sometimes. And I don't know if anyone told you, eyebrows have a life of their own.
It's weird, like with age, I never knew this was a thing. Eyebrows were just, the hair is a different texture, like a hair will grow out of my eyebrow and I won't even know what it is. Like, I don't know if I've been invaded or it's just this, it's almost like a, like a cactus branch kind of like, like, you know, prickly thing.
It's like, what the hell is that? I don't allow it to stay, I remove it or cut it off or trim it down. It's like, what the hell? It's just so out of, just, it doesn't, it's like on its own. And I know that I'm never, because I've got quite, I don't, I've got quite thin eyebrows.
I've got quite, yeah, always have done. I've got, there's a picture of me when I was a kid and I just, I got the same eyebrows now as I had then, but it's these random hairs just grow. And I'm thinking, the one thing I'm not going to be when I'm in my 90s, or 97, I've decided, at least 97, when I'm in my 90s, I'm not going to have big bushy eyebrows.
I just don't want that. I don't want it for myself. I don't want to, it's just not something I want.
We all want different things. I'm not prejudiced against eyebrows. I'm not, or bushy ones.
I'm fine with that. But I don't really want it for myself, you know, because I know that some of those people that have really bushy eyebrows, they brush them up. They, they, I don't know what they think they're doing, but they probably, well, they probably think they're brushing them up.
No. I did have a girlfriend that used to do that. She had, but that was kind of fashionable at the time.
And maybe it still is, but it's kind of, it's, I think with some people eyebrows is a, it's a, it's a whole, I mean, I'm not going to, I can't just say just for women, obviously, but it's a whole industry, isn't it? Eyebrows now. I got, I know people that do that for a living. That's, that's it.
Eyebrows. And I've never, and eyelashes as well. It's like, okay.
I've never worn I've never had anything done to my eyebrows. I've never, like, I wouldn't even, I wouldn't know what to do. I don't know.
It's like, no, never. If they were out of control, I might have to get a, I don't know, a gardener in or something to help trim them down, trim the hedges from my eyes. But it's an eyelashes.
I never, I don't know. I just, I've never really seen the point in it. And everyone is entitled to do what they want.
So I'm not judging, not be, keep going. I'm not being prejudiced. No, generally, I don't, I don't understand why anyone really, not anyone, but I don't understand why it's just like all the kind of fake hair, all that fakeness.
I just don't, and everyone's entitled to do it, but I just don't kind of understand why. Why is it so popular? And this isn't because I'm an old fuddy-duddy. I've always kind of felt this way.
And I dated a girl from, well, she was a woman, but you know, when I was about 21, no, I was 20, sorry, 20. She was about 24, 25, and she was from Trinidad, and she had dreadlocks. And after a while, she cut her hair.
And I thought, I think we split up, and then we kind of got back together a little bit. And I think she was wearing a wig, and I thought, oh, no. One of the things I really liked about her was her hair, the dreadlocks, it was proper plaited, kind of, I think she'd been growing her hair her whole life.
And I wasn't dating her because of her hair, but I just, you know, it's just, and I was kind of growing my hair at the same time, trying to grow my hair long. I mean, it took a while. And one night we woke up, one morning we woke up, and we were tangled.
We had to spend the whole day together, which is lucky because we worked in the same kitchen. But it's just, I don't know. That whole, I mean, I dated someone in 2005, and to me, she was beautiful.
Facially, just beautiful. That's how I saw her. But she never wore any makeup.
Like, generally, you know, sort of day to day, she didn't wear makeup. And then she went out one night, and she looked totally different. I know that's what makeup can do for you.
I'm not, you know, I wasn't surprised that makeup can make people look different. That's why they wear it. But she looked so different, completely.
And I realized then that, well, after that, I said to her, I think you should wear makeup more often. I didn't, I didn't say that. I didn't.
I mean, she was, for me, she was perfect as she was. But she, you know, she wanted to go out, and I just couldn't believe the difference it made, because I'd never seen her wear makeup before. I mean, I'm not even sure she used to wear lipstick.
She just had that natural skin that was, I don't know, who knows, just kind of. I mean, really, I should wear makeup, so that I could be a normal color instead of pink. See, if I was female, I would be wearing makeup all the time.
I would never let anyone see me like this. Because I'm not, it's almost like I don't belong to the human race. I don't belong to any particular race.
I'm pink. I'm not white. I'm not, it's just, I'm just pink, like pink skin.
So yeah, I just, I think, almost, I guess, I was gonna say albino, kind of like really, I don't know. It's weird. I don't know.
I've inherited, been very lucky, inherited this. And I've thought about it in the past, or perhaps I should wear makeup, but people are going to know it. And I'd rather just be myself and have someone accept how I look.
And I'm not, I'm not basing it on now, even back, you know, when I was younger, I've always had this face. It's just, it's more weathered than it was. And, you know, it's like the human body is like, I was gonna say the human body is like a ball bag, but no, but the human body is, it's just, you know, it changes with time, doesn't it? It's just natural.
But it dawned on me, a few years ago, it dawned on me that actually, part of the reason why the women I was meeting were okay with how I looked, I figured, I wasn't 100% sure, but I kind of reasoned it in my brain, was, first of all, they weren't being, they weren't being judgmental towards me. And, you know, they realize there's more than just how someone looks.
But also, they knew that they didn't look how they were presenting themselves.
Now, I was looking exactly how I presented myself, it wasn't going to change. I might look a bit crappy when I'm ill, or when I'm getting out of bed. But, you know, generally, this is what I look like.
And I suppose there's that reality of, you know, because it's always a little bit of a shock, what can be a shock, meeting someone, and then going to bed and waking up with someone completely different, that looks different. I would have thought that, and there's never anything wrong with how they look to start with this, don't say that, I never, it's never like, oh my god, look at you, no, ever, never.
I was too grateful for that.
I was just, but I do wonder, like, why not just, why make yourself look completely different? I mean, there's nothing wrong, it's up to them, up to anyone what they do, I know, but I'm just, from a human perspective, I think if I was going to make myself look, or improve how I looked, I wouldn't make myself look completely different. I'm not, I'm not going to accentuate my nose and make it look bigger.
I'm not going to make, I'm not going to make my face look redder.
So, you know, I toned down, so my face was almost like human, looks human, yeah, and then I suppose I could make my beard dark. I could dye my hair dark. I'm trying to think, yeah, I suppose I could wear makeup to give the illusion that my nose is human size.
I could perhaps put a little wig to cover my bald patch. The same colour as my dyed hair. Get some spandex.
Spandex is supposed to be really good, isn't it, to hide the fat. So, I get some spandex so that I look like I've got a slim tummy, like there's actually a waistline, the illusion of a waistline. I don't know, spandex is still a thing, is it? I remember I wore spandex once and I remember I sort of put it on, I took it off and everything just fell to the floor.
It's like it was just surrendering. What's this got to do with Monday's Boring Objects? I don't know, just started thinking about it, started thinking about makeup and hair and the thing is all these things like tattoos, never really been a fan of tattoos, although occasionally I have. Wigs, makeup, that stuff can transform a person's life, like transform.
I've heard people say in the past, no, let's ban all makeup. No, just you start banning things, where does it end? Banning makeup, but it can just make such a difference. But at the same time, I mean, I remember meeting someone who said that for the first 12 years of her marriage, her husband never once saw her without makeup.
12 years, how is that even possible? I mean, she would literally get up, she'd go to bed, full makeup, get up before him and put her makeup on again. And because she didn't think that he would love her if he saw what she was really, what she really looked like. And I'm pretty certain, I might be wrong, I'm pretty sure that people are getting married and stay together for that long and not with each other just because of how they look.
I might be wrong, I don't know, I don't know. I think he's making some very weird noises. Very strange.
I don't know why he's going. So yeah, anyway, one day's boring objects. Makeup, hairstyles, done hairstyles.
Piercings, now I, the piercing I, there's only one piercing I'm not really a big lover of. I'm not really big on piercings generally. Like as far as I don't have any piercings myself.
I did have two piercings in my ears. I'm talking about, okay, let's look at piercings. Let's talk about that.
So I'll start off with the piercing that I'm, I don't know why. I think it just reminds me of a bull. You know those bull piercings, those bull rings in the nose.
Is it between the septum of the nose? It just reminds me of a bull because the bulls have it, don't they? Or cows or bulls or whatever. And it's weird because they're very popular. I just, it, I just, yeah.
And it's not, they're not a new thing. They've been around for decades. They were around when I was a kid.
If you go back to the punks in the seventies, they had stuff like that. They had everything pierced. So there's no, you know, it's not new.
It's just recycled. A lot of fashions are just recycled, don't they? Well, there's someone once say, just wear whatever you wear and eventually it'll become fashionable again. Obviously they weren't talking about me when they said that because I don't wear anything fashionable.
I'm not very fashionable. Piercings. Hmm.
There was a girl at school who had, do you remember the Tracy? Oh, not Lorna, not Chapman. Girls just want to have fun. Well, Cyndi Lauper, that's it.
Cyndi Lauper. The Time After Time video. Time after time.
It's one of my favorite songs ever. And she's got, I think in the video, she's got makeup on, really heavy eye makeup and tattoos. And I don't like tattoos, but like, you know, piercings maybe.
Yeah. I've never, there was this girl, I think she was in my year and she had, she had makeup, but she had this, which you weren't really supposed to wear. Not really.
I mean, girls did, but weren't kind of supposed to. It's kind of one of those weird rules, you know, they didn't enforce them so much. No bikinis.
They enforced that, sports was. And she had, her makeup was so heavy on her eyelids that she could hardly open her eyelids. And I wanted to talk to her because she intrigued me.
But she was also very miserable. Maybe because she couldn't open her eyes. And maybe she didn't see me.
You know, maybe, maybe, you know, that's why we didn't end up talking, but I was intrigued, like, just seemed very, I don't know. I've always had this thing to want to cheer people up, which meant I dated quite a few miserable people. Not all of the miserable, but some were kind of a little bit, well, I tried to chat up, not chat up, that's not the right word.
It is, but, you know, I found myself attracted to miserable people, wanting to cheer them up, wanting to make their day better, their night better. They're, you know, just, I don't know why. It's not so much now, but when I was younger, I was like that.
And there was this lady who worked in a coffee place and she was just miserable the whole time. I think I saw a smile once. I think that's when someone fell over.
So it was, but I was intrigued by her because it was a challenge to make someone laugh or to get someone to smile when they really don't seem like they want to. It's a challenge. And I always liked that challenge.
Yeah. But anyway, the amount of makeup on her eyelids, I wanted to just to say to her, like, what, what's going on? I just couldn't figure out how, how she managed to get so much stuff on her eyelids because it was really like about a foot deep. And she didn't look comfortable with it.
And I was drawn to her because I wanted to see if she was all right. I suppose I could have just walked up to her and said, you're all right. But I didn't because I was shy.
So, you know, just trying to think of some other makeup that I've seen. I've seen extreme makeup in the past and I've seen really, some people know how to do it. I don't know how to do it, but some people seem to be able to do it where it's not even obvious that a person's wearing makeup.
But to the point of seeing us, I've watched, I've watched tutorials and then I know they're not aimed at me, but I've watched makeup tutorials on YouTube and I'm absolutely amazed at the difference. And I didn't notice really how different people can look until Facebook came along. And I'd see pictures of people and they literally didn't look like themselves.
They'd have like 30, 40 pictures and they'd all look like different people. That, I still, I just don't understand. I mean, I guess it's fantasy, but I suppose if you're a con person, you know, and you're going around conning people.
Vinnie, Vinnie. Oi, I don't know what he's doing. Get down, mate.
He's helping himself to something off the table, but I don't know what it is. Behave yourself, please. Please, baby.
I did have my ears pierced. No, one of my ears pierced. Back in, I think it was, I was about 13 or 14, maybe 13, when there was this girl lived up the road from me and I was friends with her.
I did ask her out on a date. I said, do you want to be my girlfriend? And I just watched Rocky. And I think that's what he said to her, to, there was, yeah, I watched Rocky.
I'm pretty sure he, Adrian. He asked Adrian out by saying, do you want to be my girlfriend? Something like that. So I did, I walked up and I asked her out.
She was just further, just a little bit further up the street near the pub. And I never like to travel too far for dates. And she said, okay.
And I thought to myself, wow, it worked. Now I need to try it on someone that I like. No, so I did.
I liked her sister. I really liked, I did like her as well, but really, really fancied her sister. She was quite a bit older than me.
And I went around to visit, you know, my friend and her sister who was, wow, probably 18, maybe even 19. She was probably four or five years older than me. She was at the top of the stairs and she said, come in.
I said, all right, okay. And she's standing there at the top of the stairs with a bath towel around her. And she says, oh, Tracy, whatever her name was.
She's not here. Now, again, I use another line from a movie. This time it was from Chevy Chase.
And I think it was Fletch. I said, she's not in. She said, no.
I said, can you do me a favor? She said, what? I said, can I borrow your towel for a minute? And she laughed. So yeah, she didn't date me, but she did laugh. And then I didn't even click.
I ended up working with her. The older sister worked with her. She was a supervisor in a factory.
And I became friends with her. I didn't even click that it was her. How strange.
And she lived opposite me. In fact, thinking about it, she might have even been living in the same blimmin' house that I lived in. But this time it was a flat, because I'd been up there.
She invited me up. I think they'd converted it into two flats. Because the kitchen was upstairs.
Wow. That's very slow of me, isn't it? That makes sense, because how come she's on the same side of the road, in the same road that she lived before? There's a good chance it was the same house. Maybe inherited it off a family.
Maybe she's a relative of a relative of a relative of a relative of a relative of a It's such a long time ago. And when I moved away in 1991, I moved away, like I had never spoke to any of these people again. I don't even know if I even said goodbye.
I just said, I just got up, went left. It is a bit of a shame, because I liked her, but we had never dated, but I liked her. I kind of... yeah, she was nice.
It is weird, because I left the job thinking I was going to get made redundant, and also they took me off night shift, which is what I love doing, and put me on that double shift, you know, six in the morning until two in the afternoon, two in the afternoon until ten at night, alternatively, you know, alternate weeks, which is something that I never enjoyed. And sticking me on the lates, two until ten every week, I'm okay with that, but that six until two, it was too much, just getting up too early, which is fine now, I get up early easy, but back then I wasn't an early riser.
Well, you know, not all of me.
And it is weird, because she was best friends with another supervisor, and they were both kind of my bosses, they were running the floor at night, and they both said to me, why did you just leave, you didn't say goodbye. I'm not sure they said that, I don't think they cared, but they said, why did you leave? I said, well, I was going to get maybe redundant anyway.
They said, no you weren't.
And they told me they were just going to get rid of the Deadwood, so the people who had been there forever that didn't even want to be there, or the people that weren't any good. I thought it would be like first in, or last in, first out, because I had only been there a few months, sort of April, May, June, July, August, September, so probably five months.
And it turned out that that wasn't the case, because they liked me.
If only I knew. Not liked me as in wanted to marry me, but they just generally thought I was alright. Can't go back now though.
So, they might not remember me. I'll tell you what's weird, well it might not be weird, but I find it a bit weird. I remember people from a long time ago.
Not everyone. But once I kind of got to know someone fairly well, or maybe lived with them, or lived in a house with them, or worked with them, I have a tendency, not everyone of course, but some people, of just remembering them. And I think, oh if I see them I could say hello, but then they don't even remember me.
I'm like gone, I'm not in their memory at all. And I think, wow. This happened at the Buddhist Centre.
I went back a couple of years ago, just on a Wednesday, I don't know, it was during the day. And I said hello to this lady, and she was making out that she didn't recognise me. I'm like, what do you mean you don't recognise me? Because I hadn't been there for a couple of years.
And I'd been round her house, she used to give me lifts, I used to work with her. I'd known her for years and years and years, a good ten years I'd known her. I knew her daughter, and then I'm not there for a couple of years and she's forgotten all about me.
I found that strange, unless there was a medical reason for it, but I thought, am I really that unmemorable? It's just like, wow. I remember once saying to her, as we were walking home from the Buddhist Centre, I said, again this is about 2000 and, this should be about 2011, 2010, 2011. And I said to her, I'm someone, I seem to be the kind of person that people just seem to, they think about when I'm there, and then when I'm gone they forget about me.
And she was saying, no, people don't forget you. And she went and forgot me. But I can't explain, like ten years I knew her, and I literally worked in the same shop as her.
As well as, just, I knew her. I used to go in, she was the manager of the Centre for a while, and I used to go in there and have a cup of tea with her during the week. A couple of times a week, for a few years.
It's weird, I always found that strange. I remember there was someone I lived with once, and I went up to her. She was in a supermarket.
This was about 1988, 89. And I said, you alright? She said, yeah. I said, it's me.
She said, yeah, I can see that. I said, we used to live together. She said, no, no we didn't.
Maybe I should have been more specific. I wasn't trying to say that we were in a relationship. But, thinking about it, I might have been the wrong person.
I might have got it wrong on that occasion. It's weird, I don't know, some people remember me. Like when I was at Churchill.
Lots of music being played, I hope that doesn't go too loud. There are some people at Churchill, some people remember me, some people just didn't. And there's probably a couple that will always remember me.
Like, kind of, not like they think about me, but they'll recollect me, in a sense of that period of their life. But probably most people don't. It turned out, my friend's husband used to work in Churchill at the same time that I did.
And he knew me. Well, he didn't, like, maybe not know me as in personally, but he said, oh yeah, his name's always on the leaderboard. Because I had like a top ten sales people of the week.
And it was always up there on the leaderboard, which I was. And the only job I was ever successful at. And I thought, well, why didn't he say hello to me then? Because I went to his wedding, which was the first time I met him, because my friend's wedding.
And she invited me, I went along. He said hello to me, he didn't ignore me, but he didn't, why didn't he come and say, oh, we used to work together? You may argue, but it was his wedding day, he probably had other things to think about. Which is quite a valid point.
I was once on a bus, no, I was on a train, coming home. I think it might have been, it was in London anyway, so I think I'd probably come home from a gig. This was in the 90s.
And I'm not even joking here, there was this lady sitting opposite me. And covered in tattoos and piercings. Like, everywhere, like really a lot of piercings.
And she said, oh, I've got piercings, she pointed to her chest. And I said, really? And I said, I'm sure I said I don't believe you. And she showed me.
Now there was a lot of people around, it wasn't just me and her. And then she flopped it back in. And I said, can I see it again? Can I see it again? I just didn't know what to do with that information.
I was just very shy and shocked and just trying to remember for later, you know. It was just like, wow. I couldn't believe someone just did that.
And I don't know if I would ever be able to, piercings, I mean, oh yeah, that girl, the one that I asked out in Rocky, Rocky style. You want to go out for a date? And she said, yeah, we kind of, it wasn't really a dating situation, but we were friends. We were friends before that and friends afterwards, just nothing really happened there.
I don't think we even got to the holding hands point. And it wasn't, I was holding out for a sister, for, you know, when I got older, I just, I didn't see any chance of ever being with a sister because she was a lot older than me back then. But I think, thinking about it, when I was in my twenties, when I was 20 and we met each other, I think, yeah, she was quite nice.
I think maybe she might have, she had a kid by then, but it's, I mean, she'll be like in her sixties now. Time, man, time goes so slowly. And, so the younger one, this is my friend, when I was about 13, 14, and she had another friend around and I was probably with my, with Dean.
So we were all there around hers. And she decided, or the both of the girls decided to give me a piercing, to pierce my ear. So they did the whole heating up the pin, put ice behind the ear or whatever, I don't know, that kind of stuff.
And they pierced my ear and put an earring in. And, yeah, I think it got a little bit infected, but I don't think my dad was hugely impressed. In fact, I'm not sure if I hid it from him.
Yeah, that might be, yeah, I think I might have hid it. Yeah, I'm not sure. I've just got, I'm a kind of vague memory of having like a sticker or like a plaster over it.
And I definitely wouldn't have worn it during karate. So this might have been before my karate days. But then I took it out.
And the hole, I thought, like, you know, the hole would just heal up, but it left a little dent, a little dent. I don't know if it was the left or the right ear, because it's supposed to, apparently back then, one ear was supposed to mean one, you know, like pertain to sexuality or whatever. I don't know if that's still the case with piercings.
I've got no idea. But, and then, when I was 16, well, when I was 16, I had my first tattoo, well, my one and only tattoo on my arm. And my friend had a tattoo of the Scottish flag on his shoulder.
His went, well, his was a lot bigger than mine, but it went gangie, you know, whatever. Mine was okay, luckily. But when I was 17, Bross came out.
And Bross were two blonde twins. There was a drummer as well called Craig. And they had blonde hair, pushed back, and earrings.
And, one day, I think I was still 17 at the time. I mean, I might have been 18. It's possible.
In fact, I might have been 18. Yeah, I might have been 18. I went to the hairdresser, and I had my hair bleached blonde, and styled like Bross, and then I had both my ears pierced.
And I looked ridiculous. I mean, there's no two ways about it. Because, blonde hair and pink skin aren't necessarily a great mix anyway.
And then, my scalp was completely burnt from the bleach. So, it's like, yeah, it wasn't a good look. I thought it would be, but it really wasn't.
Yeah, I'm thinking about it, because it was, I had to wait. So, this might have been, yeah, this might have been 1989. So, I might have been still 18.
Yeah, 18 at the time. So, I remember, I wanted to shave it off, but I didn't want to be completely bald. Plus, my scalp needed to heal.
I mean, honestly, my ears were burnt, everything. It wasn't good. So, my scalp needed to heal.
So, after a couple of months of that, I, and it was the summer of 1989, I got a crew cut, and shaved my hair off. So, I wasn't bald, but it was a crew cut. So, it was very, very, very short, like army style short.
And I got rid of all the bleach. So, I was back to being my normal colour hair. I'd also gotten rid of the earrings as well.
What was weird is that, just after I'd done that, I went to France for a week, or maybe a little bit longer, travelling, hitchhiking, across the Alps, the French Alps, or went in the hot parts, and I got, I didn't get sunburnt. The only time I've ever not got sunburnt, like just having no shade from the sun all day long, I didn't get sunburnt. I don't know what the heck happened.
Different kind of sun in France, I guess. In fact, I might have even gone brown, a little bit. It's amazing.
When I meet someone new, and I say to them, I don't suntan. I just burn. And they all say the same thing.
No, you just have to do it more. You just have to do this, do that. I'm 95 years old.
I should know what my skin does by now. They just don't believe it. No, I'm telling you, this is what happens.
And I do. The sun makes me burn. It's a burning situation sometimes.
So I have to be careful. I'm pretty sure I just heard fireworks for the second time there. And if it is fireworks, then, I'm really sorry, but I will have to bring this to an end.
Because as soon as it starts, Vinnie will start barking. And once Vinnie starts barking, that's kind of, kind of the end of the road, if you know what I mean, as far as doing anything productive. Because he, bless him, he's, I did wonder, is there any point ever shouting at a dog if their hearing is so good? Surely whispering at a dog should be enough.
So the fireworks must be really, really loud to them. My nan used to hate fireworks. Which made it more fun.
No, it didn't. She didn't like them. It just reminded her of like, the old times and stuff.
So, I've always liked fireworks. I like watching them. I don't mind the noise of fireworks.
I quite like just things like, really strong winds, as long as it's not dangerous, and I'm indoors. I like hearing the weather. I love hearing a good storm, like a big thundery storm.
It's just that power. That, I don't know, it's something about nature. It's just nature letting everyone know that, nature is in control.
We're not in control of nature. And I like that. That kind of feels nice.
There's a comfort in that, for some reason. And then in 1995, when I had my girlfriend, the one that didn't need to wear make-up, or didn't ever wear make-up, rather, apart from once, when she went out, she decided that, I'd look better with an earring. In my ear.
Just so you know that. And, I said, okay. I was, she kind of had me wrap around her finger a bit, which was okay.
I was alright with that. And, she, I would say, she was probably, in different circumstances, I would have been with her. We would have stayed together.
I guess you could say that about anything, but, the different, had it not been for, yeah, just the circuit, the stars were not aligned, as it were. But, yeah, I really, really liked her a lot. And, she told me that, if you've had your ears pierced before, then, it never actually heals up completely.
The hole's still there. And I said, I don't believe you. I didn't say it like that, I said, I really, because I was scared.
And, she said, yeah. She said, all I need to do, is just get an earring, and just push it through. And it will go through.
It won't hurt, and, it's fine. Because that skin, is, the hole is still there. It doesn't heal up.
Now, I don't know, how true that was, but she managed to get the earring, through my ring, through my ear. She got the earring through my ear. And, it didn't seem to go through comfortably.
And I remember saying to her, if it's healed up, why is it bleeding? She just said, oh, don't be so silly. Okay, fair enough. That was weird, and I had that in there for a little while, and then, then I took it out.
I don't think earrings really suited me. Any kind of, I don't know, my friend downstairs, he had face tattoos, as well as, his whole body was just tattoos. He got loads and loads and loads, on his back, on his arms, his chest, his calf muscles, his thighs, his face, his hands, his fingers, his toes, you know, like, his neck, he had tattoos everywhere.
And, I mean, he was fully clothed when I first met him, and he was wearing a mask. So I was showing off, like, I've got a tattoo, look at me, I'm hard, I am, I've got a tattoo, look. So, he took his mask off, and he was, he was mugging me.
That's how we met. And then he's like, he's got all these tattoos on his face, and I felt a little bit silly, just with my little tattoo. When I was a DJ, some, some people would come up to me, and said, oh, what's that tattoo on your arm? And, to make them laugh, because, because, I'll just let you know, it's like a, like a, Chinese dragon, or lion, you know, on the, those parades they do, in China, when they're like, running around, and, they've got the big tail, and it's like a dragon, or a lion, or whatever.
So, what I would say is, oh, they say, what, what is it of? I said, oh, that's your mum. Sometimes they'd laugh, sometimes they wouldn't. After a while, I'd change it to, that's my mum.
And that generally got a laugh. Yeah. It's about adapting, isn't it, really, life.
So, I thought about, getting a few, cheeky tattoos, you know, you know, like an arrow, so keep going down, you know, that way, I don't know, maybe, I did see, oh, that my next door neighbour, when I was a kid, my next door neighbour, was a, a navy person, or former navy person, the man who, owned the house. And he had, below each nipple, he had written, one said sour, the other one said sweet.
Seriously, like, okay.
And he had, just like, sailor tattoos, kind of like, an anchor and stuff, on his forearm, and things like that. Kind of very Popeye-ish, really. And, I do like funny tattoos, but I don't know, I'm thinking maybe I should get tattoos, maybe I should get some face tattoos.
I mean chances are, you know, my time of, the time span, or the time scale of me, doing any kind of serious bank robberies, is probably gone now, isn't it? I'm not gonna, I probably can have a face tattoo, and not be too bothered. But at the same time, it's never appealed, I don't know. When I see some people, and they kind of literally, their entire face, their nose, everything is kind of like a skeleton, or, everything's done.
And I'm thinking, hmm, I don't, yeah, it doesn't, it wouldn't appeal to me, to have that myself. Would I possibly, improve my looks, but I don't, hmm, I don't know. Piercings though, like lip piercings, that just looks, doesn't look pleasant, like, like to have it done.
I've never had my tongue pierced, I've known, I've known loads of people who've had their tongues pierced, and nose pierced, as in like with a ring, or with a stud. I've seen thousands, and thousands of people who've got them, over the years. So that's nothing new anyway, is it?
But, those ones that go in, like the bottom, or through the lip, that's one that I kind of, hmm, oh, the one thing that I never saw before, until, well it's not recent, but the last, probably 20 years actually, but, the stretchy ear ones, and I genuinely didn't think, that it was stretching the ear, I thought it was just, like an optical illusion, where they put it in, it looked like it was stretching the ear.
But the ear doesn't go back. And I do wonder why, not why it doesn't go back, but why? Just generally why? Answer me why? I don't, it, it's, I mean, I mean the amount of people that have got scars, on their eyebrows, for when they used to have, earrings, or like eyebrow rings, or studs, and they've been ripped out, by accident, or, it's just, or just, it's just left a scar anyway.
Like, hundreds of thousands of people, around the country, is walking around and they've got that little scar, just on their eyebrow, where they used to have a, an eyebrow ring.
Or an eyebrow, piercing, let's say piercing is better isn't it, than stud, piercing. And again, I never fancied that, because I thought well, what if it gets caught in my cardigan, when I'm putting my cardigan on, my thermal underwear, my thermal, vest, if it gets caught, and I'm just, and I'm trying to get dressed really quickly, because, I don't know, maybe I'm on a bus or something, and just, you know, if that gets caught, ooh, I don't fancy that.
And then there's ones that go, across the nose, like at the top of the nose, and isn't that what, Frankenstein's monster head? You would get people, they always like have to, say something don't they, when you say, oh Frankenstein, isn't that what Frankenstein had?
No, I think you're talking about, Frankenstein is Frankenstein's monster, not Frankenstein is the, the scientist, that creates Frankenstein, that's not what, who thinks of, when you think of Frankenstein, we think of the monster don't we, simple as that, so why don't we just move on, and accept that, Frankenstein is the monster, you know, the movie has Frankenstein, and there's a picture of, Frankenstein, the monster, not Frank, not the bloke, the little bloke, that makes him, no, oh he has things at the, don't they have bolts, his temples as well,
you realize, all of these things, could be done, without actual piercings, you know, just done with magnets, I'm not talking about, the bolts in your head, I don't know how, useful that would be, to have a magnet, through your brain but, but as far as like, in your nose, you could have a, like a little magnet, inside your nose, and another, sort of thing, you know, so it kind of, stuck together and, probably, the nipple piercings, I, never fancied that, I mean, it looks painful, it chips your teeth as well,
but it's just, I don't, no, I don't, it's just not something, that I would, like even, you know, there's parts of my face, I wouldn't want pierced, but there's parts of my face, I'd probably, happily have pierced, as opposed to my body, I just, I just, I'm sure I saw someone, with a pierced, toes, like in between their toes, or something, what's that about, come on, no offence, I mean, it's good if you like it, but, oh, this seems a bit, mm, and then there's that piercing, above the two front teeth,
I just, it's a lot of work, how do you eat, with that stuff in, it doesn't, doesn't, all the food gets stuck in it, and the, the nose piercings, doesn't they, don't they get all clogged up, with bogies, just a question, I don't know, and the nipple ones, they get all clogged up, with milk, I don't know, I'm just assuming, I mean, I've not ever, I'm just assuming, if I ever made a hole, in my nipple, milk would squirt out, that's just, I don't know if it's true,
I'd like to think it is, I did see, one person, who had lots of, tattoos, and I was, absolutely, she came out of a, this is my, she came out of this shop, a comic shop, and I think I banged into her, and like helped her, pick her stuff up, ideal opportunity, to fall in love, and, spend the rest of our lives together, you know, it's a romantic story, isn't it, but the thing they miss out, in these romantic stories, is the concussion, and the memory loss, so you know,
banging heads with someone, isn't always romantic, anyway, I thought she was lovely, and she had all these tattoos, and she was dressed, to show the tattoos off, normally, it doesn't really, not something I generally, would be into, but there's something about her, it's like, oh, I don't know, hmm, I saw her again, in a restaurant, I was on a date, with someone else, I mean, I'd never dated her, because I didn't know her, but I saw her, because she's recognisable, because of her, tattoos, and there's this other girl, or lady,
so many freckles, never seen anyone, so many freckles in my life, and it really, suited her, I mean, you know, I suppose it's hard to know, what suits someone, but I'm pretty certain, that a lot of people, with that many freckles, would cover them up, but she didn't, she just let them be there, I mean, I'm just thinking, 101 Dalmatians, I'm not, but what I'm saying, is there's lots, there's loads of freckles, but I've never seen anyone, with that many freckles before, like on their face, I mean, and it was just,
intriguing, that's the thing isn't it, about humans, everyone's got something, that's, maybe a little bit different, a little bit, fascinating about them, you know, some people be there, a little bit high, some people be, perhaps the muscles, like me, they're super sexy, I've kind of, I've got everything really, but, other people, it might be the accent, it might be, you know, if you're from a different part of the country, or, different part of the world, maybe, it's intriguing, to hear someone talk, with a different accent, maybe it's the smell,
maybe it's the hair, the eyes, apparently, blue eyes, are quite rare, in the world, most countries, around the world have brown eyes, I've kind of always liked brown eyes, I like blue eyes as well, but, I've always found brown eyes, brown eyes quite, nice, but they're common, really common, like, whole countries, like, pretty much all got brown eyes, but we've got a mixture here, it's weird, I don't know, I thought brown eyes, quite exotic, what I do with my eyesight, I mean, all eyes kind of look the same,
I saw amazing new technology, that, I think they've found, that they can put a chip, into the back of an eye, and help someone to see, for the first time, someone who's born without sight, will now be able to see, and I thought, wow, you know what I mean, like, that's just phenomenal, to be able to, to have something like that, is, is beyond belief, you know, it's kind of, it's next level, just wow, it's just wow, is probably all you can say really, wow doesn't even cover it,
and then I started thinking, imagine I've got, you know, I was in a relationship, with someone, and, she was born without sight, and we've been together, for a while, and we were in love, and maybe just got married, maybe, maybe been married for a while, and she was offered, to have, this operation, as part of their, ongoing trials, because now they know, it works with, a few people, they want to put it out, and try and, you know, get it out on the market, and reach more people, help more people,
and of course, you know, I'd be, over the moon, if she was, being helped, however, I think there'd be part of me thinking, how's that going to go, you know, when she gets her sight, for the first time, and sees, for the first time, and, she looks over, at the doctor, and hugs him, and kisses him, thinking it's me, and then she sees me, for the first time, realizing that she'd married, me, would it affect, the marriage, would she, accept, like, okay, you, I mean, she didn't know,
if she was born without sight, she had no idea, what something looks like anyway, but, she might, not be pleasantly surprised, by my appearance, and I wonder, would she, divorce me, or would she just ask the scientist, to take the chip, back out of her eyes, I don't know, it's weird, isn't it, just that, like, that disappointment, when she realized, that I look like this, really, I could only do that, against myself, couldn't I, because I couldn't do it, against anyone else, so yeah, I love all this technology,
anything that helps people, I just, seriously, puts me on cloud nine, love it, love, love, love it, anything that can help someone, that's, doesn't have use of their body, to start using, their body again or, to start being able to, talk or, type or, you know all that sort of stuff, absolutely, mind-blowingly, exciting, this, yeah, so exciting, I did have someone, what did he say, this old bloke, I was sitting on a bus with him, it was a few weeks ago, and, he was telling me, that he'd been married,
for 52 years, so he's all suited up, he was on the way, to the bank or something, it was banking Monday, he said, and he had his suit on, and everything, and he's probably, in his late 70s, probably 80s actually, and, got married when he was, about 18, 19, and, I said to him, I thought, you know what, there's a few questions, you can ask, an elderly, person, something's maybe, not on a bus, so maybe, it's not the right time, to ask, you know, what, what's your favourite, positions in bed,
that's not a good thing, to ask, but you can say, oh what, what are your main regrets, in life, again, that's a personal question, perhaps a bit too personal, so I thought, I'd go for something, that was, not too personal, but kind of vague, but at the same time, it's probably something, he's been asked before, but it's also, it's a question, that's intrigued me, over the years, so I said to him, Jack, I don't know if that's his name, but he answered to it, I said Jack, what is your, answer,
I've got a question for you, what is the secret, to a long, and lasting marriage, a successful, lasting marriage, and he pointed to his ear, and he said, hearing loss, he started laughing, I said, what are you talking about, he said, can't hear her nagging at me, and I thought, wow, I didn't expect sexism, at nine in the morning, but hey, that's what he said, not me saying, that's what he said, and I said, come on now, but he said, no, I thought we love each other, it's about give and take,
she gives, I take, I thought okay, then he started talking about slippers, and I got a little bit confused, I said, why are you talking about slippers, he said, because I like slippers, I collect them, he collects slippers, yeah, I collect slippers, why is that confusing to you, why is that weird, I said, I don't know, just, I just really didn't expect you to even mention slippers, never mind your passion for collecting them, he said, I didn't say anything about passion, I said, I like, I didn't say I love,
I like, I like to collect slippers, I love balancing sausages, what, what do you mean balancing sausages, balancing them, you know, like balancing, you know like you do with matchsticks, like making little houses and stuff, but with sausages, I said, why don't you use matchsticks, he said, they don't even sell them hardly anymore, you can't get hold of matchsticks anymore, and they're kind of pretty much gone, lighters are no good for building stuff with, but sausages are much better, I said, how is a sausage better than a lighter for standing up,
surely a lighter is more kind of stable, he said to me, don't ever argue with the sausages, and I thought, that's a good point actually, I don't know what I was thinking, and then he said, is that really all you've got about Pearsons, that's all you could think about, that's all you could come up with, is a couple of examples of Pearsons, in all those years of being alive, I said, yeah, I really haven't got a lot of experience with Pearsons, and why did you choose that as a subject,
for today's recording, honestly I don't know, I did also talk about make-up, and some other things as well, yeah, it was a little bit all over the place wasn't it, it's kind of supposed to be really isn't it, supposed to be all over the place, I mean it's a bit more, focused than the, maybe some recordings, but it's still going to be all over the place, yeah, I think you should have focused more on, a subject that, you knew at least something about, I said look, that has never been a prerequisite,
for these recordings, me having knowledge about something, and he said, why don't you just wrap it up though, should we just finish it and go, go for a little jog, I said go for a jog, he said yeah, let's go for a jog, it's about time you got yourself a bit healthier, I said, I suppose I could, I suppose I could, I said to him, I know what I'll do, I'll meet you, outside in an hour okay, and he went outside and, unlocked the door, and even today, I still can't remember,
who was I talking about, who was I talking to, I don't know, it's only me here, that was weird, was it Vinnie, I don't know, Vinnie's been staring at me, for the last few minutes, I'm sure I heard some fireworks earlier, I'm sure I did, I did, I did, I did, I did, anyway, I'm going to get ready, and bring this recording to an end, tomorrow is trivia Tuesday, so thank you for listening, remember to be kind to yourself, because you do deserve to be happy, and be gentle with yourself, you deserve to feel safe, lots of love, bye.
Paragraph spacing and recurring name or title errors have been tidied. Because this began as a voice transcription, an occasional word or piece of punctuation may still be incorrect.