(music) #1246 Sunday Papers - Let Me Bore You To Sleep (1st December 2024)

Hello and welcome to Let Me Bore You To Sleep. My name is Jason Newland. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes.

Today is Sunday the 1st of December. The 1st of December already? Yes, 2024. And of course, I say of course because I've been doing these a little while, it's Sunday Papers! Hope you're well.

Before I continue with the exciting world of me trying to find a story in the national newspapers that isn't that isn't particularly or extremely negative, which is a difficult thing to do, I will try. Just let you know that I have a YouTube channel. Every time I produce a new recording, I upload it as a 10 hour video and there is a dark screen after 10 seconds so you can listen to it in bed without being disturbed by the light.

Also, I have a Facebook group called Jason Newland's Boring Group, which is a private group that you can join and it's a good place to ask me questions or just get to know some of the other avid listeners. It's a small group at the moment. There's currently 200 members.

So if you'd like to join, please come along. And that, I do believe, is everything. So what are we looking at? How many papers have we got? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9. No, there's 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8. There's 8. Downstairs.

Oh no, there's also 10. The Irish. So I've got Irish, the Irish Sunday people.

Do you remember, was it last week? And I was going through the papers and they were the same. They're actually the same. That's ridiculous, isn't it? So what have I got? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9. So we'll see.

Or should I go through a magazine? No, I'll go through the papers. On this app, which is called Readly, it's just not, it only gives me newspapers from the UK, which is fine because that's where I live, but the other countries, it's places where, we've got Ireland and South Africa, Germany, France, Switzerland, Sweden, India, and Austria. And that's it.

Why? There's more, there's more, there's more countries than that, isn't there? And I don't understand why there's not more, more countries. That confuses me. And even if I've gone through international news, it's 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13 newspapers.

Let's say if I go to Austria, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and only one of them is for today. And, oh, it's in a different language. I don't know what language it's in.

And then India, there's, there's a few for today. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, from today. All the same ones.

I don't know why they've listed the same ones with the same covers. And I don't know what language that's in. Then there's Sweden.

I don't know what, what, oh, no, no. Some of the words are quite similar. There's, I don't know what the, I don't know what the language that's in either.

So let's have a look at France. La Tribune, Liberation, La Tribune, France Antilles, France Guyane, Guyane, L'Independence, La Depeche, I have to say mode after say that, Depeche Mode. So again, they're all in a, I don't know what, I've got no idea.

I don't know what language that's in. And then you've got Ireland. That looks like it's in English.

All right, they're just basically the same newspapers as in the UK, but just with the word Irish in front of the headline. They look, in fact, it looks like it's exactly the same covers. I might be wrong.

Switzerland. There's only one called NZZAM Sonntag. And I don't know, no, I don't understand the words on that one either.

I don't know what language that is. The joke's getting old. Okay.

So next I've got Germany. And nope. Nope.

Build. Build Am Sonntag. And you've got Welt Am Sonntag.

And then there's another one called Neuzircher Zeitung. Neuzircher Zeitung. Build.

Then you've got local news, which is Rheinische Post Sandsturm Sausage. So, but don't, no, I don't understand whatever, I don't know what that language is. And you've got South Africa.

South Africa. Flying Blood. No, it's the Daily Maverick.

Oh, that's in English. Oh, okay. So that's in English.

It's South African, but it's only one, only one newspaper. Click on that. See, is that today? No, it's not even today.

It's yesterday. Blimey. I need to, I mean, I've been looking at ways of trying to get the, the news in a different way.

I mean, there's things in the news that are really, I mean, I find very interesting, but not very lighthearted for this kind of podcast. If you know what I mean. And if you're in the UK, you'll probably, well, to be fair, you might not know what I'm talking about, because it could be any number of things.

Any number of things. I'm not sure. But yeah, there's a certain law just kind of going through, which will, which has been quite controversial.

I thought this app was okay until I realized that it's very limited. So we can go through the tabloids. So it's the male, the star, the mirror, the people.

The male, the star, mirror, the people. But then you've got the Sunday Mail. Oh, the Sunday Mail, that's not.

One, two, three. Daily Mirror. Okay, right, here we go.

So let's go to Daily Mirror. Retro, Dead Readly Retro. I don't know what that means.

So the Sunday Mirror. Here we go. So let's read it.

Sunday Mirror, strictly Sarah's dance sitcom. TV shows Greg's hotline. And he's the latest celebrity to be given the focus with the newspapers for various reasons.

I tell you what I quite like. He does the factory, doesn't he? He goes into factories and sees how things are made in there. I quite like that show.

I'm not into the whole cooking stuff. I'm not into any kind of cooking show, to be honest. I mean, if you get up, it's not just Saturday, Sunday as well, I think.

But on a Saturday, every morning, cookery shows. And my childhood would have been so different if that was what it was like when I was a kid. Can you imagine getting up? It's like you're just like mum saying, we've got to go shopping.

Got to go shopping. Oh, but mum, got to go shopping. No, but lasagna's being cooked today on the Saturday cook show, whatever it is.

Oh, lasagna. No. It used to be like Scooby Doo's on the banana splits.

And I won't say anymore, because then you realise how old I am, in case you don't know how old I am. One banana, two banana, three banana, four, five banana, six banana, seven banana more. Jubilant Taylor Swift simply cannot shake it off.

So I'm guessing that's the name of one of her songs. I don't know the name of any of her songs, which shows you how in touch I am with today's society. Her NFL star boyfriend, Travis, who will be the star of her next album, no doubt, leads his team to victory.

The 30-year-old singer watched the Kansas City Chiefs set off at the last vote. Why is that in an English newspaper? I know it's because of her, but how many of the people reading that would even know what they're talking about? The Las Vegas Raiders. Oh, yeah, I know them.

The Kansas City Chiefs. Yeah, yeah, of course. No, I don't know what that is.

The number on her man's American football jersey. I think over there they just call it football. Sugar Sweet on a celeb show.

Oh, downstairs. I think it's downstairs. It's kind of funny, actually, because they're doing building work, I think, downstairs.

Yeah, got music blaring out as well. Like what? Choose one or the other. Just choose one, please choose one.

Don't need both. Unless they think they're trying to drown out the drilling and everything with the music. Who knows? I don't know what they're doing.

Sugar Sweet on celeb show. So Lord Alan Sugar, who is the original apprentice bloke. Did you know that? Yep.

The apprentice was copied from us. Sugar, Alan Sugar, was the first person that said, you're fired, or you're sacked, or whatever. You're fired.

He was the first. He did it 20 odd years ago. Yeah, 20 years ago, he did it.

So he's not been doing it for 20 years. Blimey. In the Celebrity Apprentice spinoff, back after five years, 10 famous faces will be set tasks by the business man.

When I wonder, there was someone else that did the apprentice in a different country, wasn't there? I think they did it around the world. It's one of those. I think like Deal or No Deal.

And what's that one? You are the weakest link. Goodbye. That one.

There, I think they're all originated in the UK. Although we did copy some things like Wheel of Fortune, is it Wheel of Fortune or Family Fortune? We copied those in the 80s from other countries. I mean, it's copier.

I'm sure they probably paid lots of money to use the format. I used to like watching The Apprentice, like the one in this country, because he was a bit of a grumpy old man, even then. And I think he's about 96 now.

And one of the blokes, his assistants, he had two assistants, and they were both also pretty elderly. They're like, I guess they were, they might have all been young together when they started out. And eventually, his two assistants retired, and got replaced with other people.

I think one of them is, is it the chairman of a football ground or something? Yeah, I used to like it. Anyway, I can't bother to read the story. Starmer, Starmer, Starmer, Starmer, to set tough targets to fix Britain.

And you know what, okay, I don't really get political. I am quite political, actually, but I don't get political on these podcasts. I'm not like political, not really political, but I do.

I do kind of, I keep my egg in the pond, as it were. And I what he's seen the new government that is that started on July the 4th, or whatever day, or June the 4th, July the 4th, when they got in, they, they're going, oh, it's going to be changed, and blah, blah, blah. But they now seem to be doing exactly what the past government did when they got in, which is try and balance the books.

And I don't think it's even possible the books, have the books ever been balanced in the history of this country? I'm going to guess no. So I'm just thinking, he's really gone out to, because the last person was a prime minister back in 2010, and brought in all these austerity stuff in and completely wrecked, wrecked the country for quite a few years. Because he wanted to balance the books, and he didn't.

All that, and it didn't really make any difference. It just made a lot of people, including myself, unemployed. Because I was, I just started being a self-employed as a counsellor.

Things were going, it was hard, and it was a hard job to have, but things were going really well, really well. And I was doing, I was working three different charities, getting paid by all three charities. And a little bit on the, not on the side, but it's like I was self-employed.

So I had a couple of private clients, but not much really. But generally my money came in from the charities, the main one being Mind. And literally overnight, I went from having probably 16 clients a week with Mind to four.

I mean, I literally overnight, it was like, you now have to finish, every client you've got is now finishing. If it's, once it runs out, once, because we were giving them six, we had six weeks and then it was over, and they just stopped giving us any new ones until we were down to four. The other charity I worked for completely pulled the plug completely, as far as the work I was doing.

So, and that was instant. There was not even any closing, like, yeah, we're finishing now. We haven't got the funding anymore.

It was all to do with the government pulling the funding. And this was going into children's schools. I suppose all schools are children's schools, aren't they? But going into like little schools, they weren't little, but they were for little people.

Not little people. I mean, they were for kids, junior schools, or whatever you want to call it, infant, junior, and high school. It wasn't just, it wasn't only infant schools.

And that was literally, you've got to bring your paperwork in by the end of the week, if you want to get paid. And you can't finish the client, there's no, that's it, you can't see any more clients, even though, even people I'd only seen once, couldn't see them again. It wasn't just me, it was everyone, just like, they stopped it.

Couldn't believe it, really. Mind, I mean, they'd taken loads of new people on, things were going really well, seeing lots of people. And ironically, ironically, what the government was doing was creating new clients.

It's just, I don't think irony is the right word, probably, but ridiculously. So, and to be fair, they created me, I ended up being a client. And that wasn't just them, though, it was other stuff.

But, so I remember what it's like to have, they called it austerity, Labour are not calling it that, the new government, they're just basically doing everything they can to scrape bits of money from everywhere. For whatever reason, I don't understand finances very well anyway. But I feel like we've been here before.

And I didn't enjoy it last time, because it lasted for a long time. It was neither a nice time, was not a good time, nor a short time. It was a long time.

Bless. Apparently, Rod Stewart's not a big fan of Greg Wallace, because he criticised Rod Stewart's wife's cooking. I mean, it is a cookery show.

I think she was on a cookery show. I think, I mean, I don't know. It's one of those things where it's a little bit like the dancing shows, you've always got someone that's rude.

One of the judges, a little bit too rude. But that almost makes it as kind of part of the fun of it, I guess. I don't watch shows like that, really, apart from The X Factor.

And Simon Cowell was the rude one, wasn't he? In the old days, he's not so rude now, but now he's a bit nicer. But back in the old days, he was horrible, quite a lot of the time. And that's what made the show famous.

Simon Cowell, without him, that show wouldn't have been, it probably wouldn't have been, it had been popular, probably, but not the way it was. So I guess on a cookery show, if I was on a cooking show, let's say MasterChef, I would be concerned if all of the judges, if all of them, if they didn't comment on how disgusting my food was, if at least two of them didn't walk out, like, I'm not touching that, I'm not eating that.

It looks like poo, wrapped in poo.

Like, no, I'm not eating that. I'd have to like, yeah, fair enough. It's a fair enough statement.

It's kind of weird, I don't know. I would have thought though that, because Rod Stewart, apparently he posted a message about Greg telling him off, how he spoke to his wife. I don't know if it's recently or at the time, I don't know.

I'm bored already. I don't care. I don't know really much about it.

I've not looked into it. I don't know what I've read and what I've seen, but so many people get accused of stuff, and then it comes out they didn't do what they were accused of. And, you know, the newspapers spend days and days and days attacking a celebrity.

And then they go quiet for a while, and it comes out that no charge has been made, and there's nothing. And they might post a little article on that, that no charges. But what are people going to remember? It's like an old joke, Jerry Sadovich joke.

He said, I'm going to say, it's his joke, it's not mine, but he said, you know, I lived in a village. I put fences, I built fences up all around the village, dividing the houses, making sure that the roads are safe and everything, putting fences up and gates and that. They call me Jerry, the gate maker or the fence maker? No.

I put roads in. I put roads all around, replaced the roads that were there that were just dirt into concrete and tarmac and made it easier to drive. You know, saving people money on their wheels, not getting ruined.

And they call me Jerry, the road layer? No. I even built a school, built a school for the underprivileged. And did they call me Jerry, the school builder? No.

I shag one sheep. That's an old, old Jerry Sadovich joke from the late 80s. What does shag mean, Daddy? It means hug.

I hug one sheep. Canterbury Cathedral is selling tree decorations of disgrace. What? Canterbury Cathedral is selling Christmas tree decorations of disgraced ex just in his robes.

Oh, dear. The thing is, I was born in the 70s. I was raised for a part of my life by Catholic nuns in two different children's homes.

I'm not surprised at anything I read about any churches or what they're up to. I just, things like that don't surprise me. And I'm just amazed that they're still able, even now, all these years, I know so many people that have gone through that process, you know, and they're still going.

It's amazing. Absolutely amazing. It's amazing.

In fact, you could say it's amazing grace. Our coal will keep. OK, right.

Colleen's Colleen Rooney is in the I'm a celebrity. Get me out of here. And they're saying she'll keep going to make us proud.

A family like it's a TV show. Come on. It's a television show.

Blimey. I don't know. I don't even know who's on there.

I don't know anyone on. I know some of the people I didn't know, Colleen. I didn't know what she looked like or I mean, she sounds like she's from Liverpool, but I didn't know.

I knew who she was as far as Rain Rooney, Rain Rooney's wife, but I don't know who she is. Maybe she's a celebrity. I don't know.

I guess. I mean, she probably does things on her own. I don't know.

She might be a TV star. I really don't know. I've got no idea.

Good luck to her anyway. She seems nice. I only watched the very first episode of it a couple of weeks ago.

Just out of interest, because there was one person on there that I like. I wanted to see her. Channel 5 was last night blasted for broadcasting a TV tribute.

Okay. I worry AI is a threat to the human race, says star Kate. I actually saw that interview.

I think it was on the news. Kate Blanchett. I couldn't even name a film she was in.

I recognize her name. Was it Titanic? Reveals that she fears the rise of artificial intelligence could put the human race at risk. The Australian actress insists the threat from the technology is very real as it could replace anyone.

Asked if she worries about the impact AI on her job. This is a bit I remember. Kate 55 said.

Ah, she no, they did not. They're not giving it. She said no.

But they're not including this in She said she wasn't worried about her, herself. And she didn't add the fact that it's not gonna make any difference to her because she's wealthy. So and she's 55.

So she's not exactly in the beginning of her career. So it's not going to affect her the same way it's going to affect people just starting out. But she didn't say that she didn't say.

In the interview, she did say no, I'm not bothered. I'm in there says I'm worried about us as a species. If you record yourself for three or four seconds, your voice can be replicated.

And that's not true. Not not, it can be replicated, but not very well. I've looked into this.

It's not a great system. I mean, you need a little bit more than three or four seconds to catch someone's accent, their tone, their all you know, the different parts, three or four seconds. What is that? Let's just count.

Hello, I am. That's it. Hello, my name.

Hello. Hello. My name is.

Okay, so three or four seconds, you probably get Hello, my maybe part of name, my Hello, my name. That is not enough to get someone's voice. You might be able to get a kind of a part of a voice.

So I think it's a little bit of an exaggeration. Kate's latest film is Rumours. But she said the apocalyptic comedy.

Okay, so she's got she's in a movie that almost is to do with AI in a way. So that's probably why they were asking her that. She said the apocalyptic comedy looks like a sweet little documentary compared to what's going on in the world.

I'm looking at these robots and I can't do it in a voice. I'm looking at these robots and driverless cars. And I don't really know what's bringing what what what that's bringing anybody.

She said in a view. Okay, well, let me explain to you, Kate. You might not know this.

But things that robots can do are the things that your servants do. Your staff, your assistants, the average person doesn't have someone to do their washing up for them, or someone to drive them around, or someone to clean or all that stuff. Things that a robot can do.

Driverless cars, because you know, when you're in the back of a car, Kate, and you're tired, and you've just been working all day and you know, you want to go home and you're in the back of the car, you can have a look with your eyes closed. And sometimes you you like maybe wake up because you're making a noise like that. And you're snoring and you giggle and, and you know, the average person can't do that, because I have to drive the car.

So not everyone's got a driver. So having a driverless car might be useful for those people that have been working all day and are tired, rather than driving. When they're tired.

I wonder how that could help. Yeah. Wonder what that's bringing people? Nothing according to her.

I don't really know what that's bringing anybody. It's bringing safety. It's bringing maybe a little bit more time so people can have with their family.

So they're not cooking all the time or doing housework or not, you know, having to fix the car or take the car to the garage. Not having to do any of that stuff because it's all a car will just come and pick you up and take you where you're going. Driverless cars.

Personally, I think driverless cars will only work if all cars are driverless. As long as we've got humans on the road, driverless, there's always going to be accidents because human beings, simple as that. Once you've got all cars are autonomous, the system will work.

It'll either work or it'll stop working. But then everything will just shut down, everything will stop. So be a massive, a massive traffic jam, which happens every day in every country.

Anyway, big traffic jams is a standard thing on any motorway, I imagine. Maybe not all, but especially this country. I just don't understand what it's bringing anybody.

Well, if you come back to if you just try and remember what it used to be like, maybe meet some of the the non-famous, super rich people and they might tell you how it might help. Coming home and, you know, having someone cleaning the windows, having a robot do it rather than having to climb up a ladder on a windy day and risk serious injury. Because a robot can do it.

Or you might have windows that are self-cleaning. A bit like bums, because bums are self-cleaning, aren't they? You know, bottoms. That's what I heard once and I'm going to believe it.

I think the AI, yeah, of course it's going to have an effect, like everything has an effect, but it gets rid of, it will stop certain things but create other things. So it'll get rid of some opportunities that have been around for a long time, like jobs that are being done or be replaced.

But in the same way, the jobs that, like in this country, that the locals don't want to do, perhaps, they're being done by visitors and those locals don't want those visitors here, perhaps, according to the newspapers, then if robots are doing those jobs, the visitors won't need to come here because there'll be no need, there'll be no reason.

So then I guess everyone will be happy, I suppose. When you think about it, delivery drivers, that's going to be a thing in the past. I personally got no issue with delivery drivers.

I try and learn their names now, it's a new hobby I've got. So if I've got a delivery coming and the name is Mahala Balabala or something like, just quite difficult for me, I try and say it to him or her, which is usually a man to be fair, I try and say it. And I've had two female delivery drivers, I think in 10 years.

So yeah, it's definitely seems to be a male dominated sport. Yeah. Although there was a lady, she delivered my Amazon groceries, this is about a month ago, maybe longer.

And I had to, they have a thing, they used to have a code, now they do it with a date of birth, just to prove who you are. And occasionally they do that. And I asked her my date of birth.

And she said, Wait a minute, I remember it. And she actually gave it, she wrote it down. She said it out loud.

It's whatever my date of birth is. It's like, what? She said, Yeah, I've got a photographic memory. It's like, really? Because she'd seen me, I think two weeks earlier.

And you know what? That's the most interested I think I've been in a female for a long time. And at that point, it's like, oh, there's something intriguing about it. Not about it, about her rather, but about the situation.

The idea of being able to remember everything, which isn't necessarily something that I would like. I'd like my memory, in some ways to be a little bit better than it is. And in other ways to be worse than it is, you know, depends on the particular topic.

It depends on the topic. Yes, it does. How is AI going to change? I mean, I'm, I use chat GPT.

Because the way I see it is, I can't, can't ignore it. I'm still at an age where I'm kind of still active in a kind of a way. If I was in my 90s, then I probably wouldn't bother.

The same way I know people, like my nan, the internet, she had no interest in the internet, never bothered with the internet at all. Because, I mean, literally, she was like late 80s when it kind of became popular in the UK. So she's got no interest in that, which is fair enough.

It's fair enough for anyone that's got no interest. But on the same side, my friend, I know someone that was young, younger than me, and he never had any interest in the internet. And it really held him back.

And it was, it's kind of weird, because I've got him, gotten some board, I've got him on the internet, got a broadband on downstairs and sorted that out. And I gave him, I got him was it a tablet, or he thought he did, maybe he just done on his phone. And he started using Facebook.

And he hadn't used Facebook for a long time. Like he was on there every now and then, but he just didn't use it. So he kind of like delved into Facebook to this was probably, I don't know, five years ago, six years ago, it's hard to keep track.

And definitely over a year ago, that's for sure. And he was saying to me, oh, look, and he was reading stuff, you know, those really, really dumb things that people post, where, at the end, they say, please send this, please send this, pass this or forward this on onto your own timeline or to friends. I know, I know, those people that will and those people that won't, you know, that kind of just a little bit, I've got a little bit troubled by those kinds of posts are just emotionally manipulative.

And the first time I saw those, he used to annoy me now, you don't see them that often. But he was really like, yeah, I reckon some people do ignore it. I said, no, just ignore it.

But no, no, he said, yeah, if you don't like no, it's just bollards. It's just a load of bollards. He said what? I said bollards.

He said, why are you saying bollards? I said, because I'm doing my podcast and I don't want to say bollocks. He said, oh, okay, fair enough. But you just did say bollocks.

I said, I know, I realise that. And I kind of ruined it, didn't I? He said, yeah, you did. Why would you say such a word? I said, well, I didn't mean to.

I mean, to be fair, he said, wait a minute, I know what you're going to say. I said, what? He said, you don't normally swear, do you, on your podcast? I said, no, I don't. It's true.

He said, why not? Why don't you? I said, well, I'm not really a huge swearer in life. I mean, I do swear. I do say naughty words sometimes.

And sometimes for comedy effect, I'll say the wrong thing on purpose. But generally not that much of a swearer. Do you ever meet people that just literally constantly swearing? I'll tell you who's the Canadian psychologist.

It's very controversial. Let me have a look. Can can it's not this kind of psychologist.

Oh, yeah, Jordan Peterson. He's one of the worst swearers. And by that, I don't mean he swears a lot.

He just is really bad at swearing. He uses a word. And he thinks he's being controversial by using this really strong word.

And it's almost like I don't know if he thinks he's being tough. I don't know. But he uses the word bloody.

It's a bloody bloody. And that's not even really a swear word in this country. It is if you're like two years old, but it's not it but the way he says it and it's just so out of context when he says it sounds silly.

It does sound like a little child trying to trying to swear. But not. I mean, I remember this little kid years ago said to me, Jason, I said, Well, he said, You're a twat.

I said, Okay. Then the colors about 1015 seconds later, Jason said, Yes, what's a twat? Like, just she was calling me names didn't even know what the names were what they meant. I think the AI is going to be interesting.

Self driven cars, good for people like me that don't drive. And can you imagine getting into a taxi driver and not having to talk? Not a tax driver, you don't get inside the taxi driver do you? Unless it's a particularly good ride. And you get into a taxi, don't have to say anything to anyone.

Don't have to talk to them. Don't have to listen to them. Ah, it'd be it'd be quite nice, wouldn't it? I think it'd be weird, though, because they're gonna have taxis and they're gonna have cars actually, that don't even have steering wheels.

But at the moment, I think you have steering wheels, you can take control if you want. But eventually the the complete autonomous ones won't have steering wheels. Which I think even for me would seem weird.

Because it gets rid of the illusion that you're in control. I think that's going to be the biggest obstacle for humans is to relinquish control. It's yeah, that doesn't I don't, I don't really enjoy being in a car with someone else driving, because I'm not in control.

Being on a bus isn't so bad, because it's such a huge object that apart from a lorry, or another bus is quite a safe vehicle to be in. If I was a lorry, I'd probably feel fairly safe as well, because they're huge vehicles. But on a train, a train is kind of, it's both ways for the same reason.

It's almost like, well, I feel in control and out of control. And you got, you got, what's his name, train driver. And all they can do is, they can't steer, can they? Because it's on a track, so it's stuck to a track.

But that's part of the reason you can't, it's if there's something coming your way, you can't avoid it, because you can't, it's not frag or rock, you can't just quickly start making tracks, so the train goes in a different direction. You know, I've been in two taxi crashes, did you know that? One was on a motorway, or quite a busy road, but it wasn't bad, it just pulled up and the two blokes were arguing with each other.

Another one, a taxi, it just pulled out without a signal, and it was a bit of a mess.

And I said, well, I said, I'm just going to walk. He said, but I need you as a witness. I said, no.

It's like, I ain't got time for this. I'm not going to stick around for ages. And it was, I mean, I don't know whose fault it was.

You'd think it would be the fault of the person that didn't indicate really. Although, to be fair, what I've noticed around here is, I don't know if it's, if it's like that everywhere, don't have to indicate anymore. Is that right? The amount of people don't indicate when they turn right or left around here is, it just amazes me, because I thought that would be so installed in your natural physical ality, your nervous system, to automatically put the indicator on when you're about to turn right or left.

But it's not apparently. I thought it would be. So it's just weird.

What have we got? Pride of Britain is on TV. So. And it's I think to do with sexuality.

That one. Funny feet. Sarah Hartland has revealed she is writing a sitcom inspired by her strictly experienced and once pal, Miranda Hart and dance pro Vito Coppola, the star.

The actress known for playing best pal and joke shop manager Stevie Sutton in BBC series Miranda insists she is lining the pair up for cameos. Okay, cool. What is this? Jason Beatty, Johnson rat rants a bit thick.

This week, Boris Johnson unleashed an incomprehensible rant about the obesity crisis. Okay, he's clearly didn't look in the mirror today. The former PM somehow blamed the Church of England for kids not getting enough exercise.

He said when he was a child, we were all allowed out playing in the street the whole time. You don't see that with kids any nowadays. Oh, you do if you hang around parks.

But of course, that would be weird. You don't have to follow his argument, mainly because it's utterly nonsensical. But if Johnson wants to know why so many children overweight, he may want to consider that was this under the political thing.

We had kids overweight at school. Not everyone was slim at school when I was a kid. And we didn't have computer games, really, especially in junior school.

No computer games, three channels on a TV up to about 1980s for the first 10 years of my life. Three channels. The only really time I wanted to watch TV was Saturday morning and after school for an hour or so.

Maybe in the evening. But on Saturdays, afternoons, Sundays, there's practically nothing going on. So we'd be playing out if we could.

We're in the garden. Always has to be blamed in there. Have you noticed that? Blame, blame, blame.

It's your fault, it's your fault, it's your fault. Why? Of course, some people are. Oh, look at this.

I turned 50 and partied with Angela Rayner, then flirted with a superstar. This is Star Van Ooten. Oh, okay.

Star Van Outen about in 2024. It's not Outen, it's Ooten, I think. Johnny Vaughn, hands on deck.

I'll tell you what, see, I don't know if anyone knows, anyone knows Van Ooten, Van Outen, Denise Van Ooten. I didn't realise she was so young, to be fair. I watched her on a big breakfast, early 90s.

I just figured she was older than me. She's always young, but she's not, I know that she didn't look older, but she was an adult, but she couldn't have been. I mean, if I was 22 and she was on a big breakfast, and she was five years younger than me, she must have been, let's figure this one out together, 22, 17.

Really? That doesn't make sense. How can she be, no, not five years, four years, isn't it? So she was 18, because she started off being the weather person, and she'd be in a helicopter telling us the weather, because the big breakfast was this TV show that was quite anarchic, anarchic, I think is the correct word. They are the cornerstone acting the deterrent to the bad guys.

What is this, the old police, the chop shop, the chop shop, is that what they call it? Oh yeah, because not cop shop, chop shop. Nearly 600 police stations got rid of in 10 years. Really? No.

115 police stations in 10 years. Wow. Why, shoplifting saws.

I wish the newspapers would make their mind up, because they said, oh, you can shoplift now. There was an advert, I remember, last year, maybe early this year, and it was there advertising it, you can shop, it was on the news, you can pretty much, normally it doesn't come to up to a certain amount of money, I think a couple of hundred or 250 quid, you pretty much just take what you want, staff don't do anything, they didn't even let us know which supermarkets allowed it.

And then they seem to have backtracked, and I see people getting arrested, it's like, well make your mind up, don't tell us we can do it if we can't.

I remember I was in there, I was like, just walking out, and the security guard said, excuse me, I said, you're excused. And we laughed. He said, where are you going with that stuff? I said, well, do you mean right now or eventually? He said, what do you mean? I said, well, eventually I'm going home, but right now I need to go to the vets to just pick up a leaflet from there, and then I'm going to head off possibly to McDonald's, I might even pop in to B&M, because I'm thinking of getting some Christmas lights for the bush outside where I live.

He said, what kind of bush is it? I said, it's just a normal bush, not big, but it pretty much divides the pavement from the bit of grass that's in front of the block of flats I live in. He said, okay. He said, what kind of lights are they going to be? Because how will they stick? And I said, that's a good point.

So I did this when I first moved in, in 2015, and I wrapped lights, outside lights around, and they just all fell off. He said, yeah, I can imagine they would, especially with the wind and everything, and maybe people pulling on them. Yeah, I know, I don't know why anyone would do that.

He said, I don't know, I imagine it's fun. Yeah, probably, especially when you're little and that, it's just, yeah, just destroying things. And he said, well, what are you going to do this year then?

I said, well, I've learned from my mistake, and I've decided that I'm going to get, there's a new thing, which is almost like a cover that goes over the, it's netting, so it's not like, you know, you've still got air getting into the branches and everything, but it's a cover that goes over the entire bush, and the lights are attached to the cover, so you can have all the lights and maybe tinsel or whatever, and just, you know, you can't see that it's netting though, because it's very kind of see-through, I guess.

He said, oh, that's a good idea. I said, yeah. He said, what about the tree? I said, what do you mean? He said, the tree outside that you're friend grew.

I said, how do you know about that? He said, everyone knows about that. Do they? Yeah, it's famous. He planted the tree years and years and years ago, what about 10 years ago, god blimey, 12 years ago or something, and it's now nearly as tall as the building.

I said, yeah, I know. And he used to run out to stop the, what was it, the council workers from chopping it down when they were doing the bushes. I said, yeah, blimey.

I didn't know people knew about it. He said, yeah, yeah, everyone knows. It's a constant conversation.

I said, cool. So yeah, then I'll be going home. What after you've got the Christmas lights? Well, I don't know if I'm going to get Christmas lights yet, but then I'll, yeah, I'm thinking I might have to go back and get them because obviously I'm carrying all these things.

He said, well, that's, I can make that easier for you. He said, how come? I said, what do you mean? Can you give me a lift? He said, no, you can leave that because it's not yours. And that way you'll be able to carry the other stuff.

I thought about it and I thought, well, that's nice of you. Nice of you to try and help. But I think you're just, it took quite a lot of effort to write a list, pick out what I wanted to take and then just to walk out without paying for it.

And now you want me just to drop it on the floor? He said, I don't necessarily want you to drop it on the floor. My back's a bit iffy these days. Rather you put it onto one of the counters or maybe onto the till so we can just sort out where it needs to go back.

I said, okay, fair enough. But I want to go home. He said, we all want to go home, don't we? But it's not your stuff, is it really? I said, but it is.

Isn't it ownership is eight seconds of the law or whatever, nine, eight tenths, ten ninths of the law. And he said, what are you talking about? I said, I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

He said, just if you could put the stuff down and we're just going for a walk and just go into the back and go into the office, have a little chat. I said, we've already had a chat. He said, come on, we just, I just need to make a phone call.

I said, why don't you use your phone then? You've got a mobile phone on you. You've also got a walkie talkie on you. Why don't, in fact, what you've even got a phone because there's this like reception bit where the security, like they've got their own little area inside of the supermarket and there's a phone there as well connected.

He said, I know, but I thought it might be less embarrassing for you if we called the police when you was in the back rather than, you know, being here. I said, why do you want to call the police? Well, what's happened? He said, really? I said, yeah, you're okay. He said, yeah, I'm fine.

It's you that's got to worry. I said, tell me about it. There's so many things going on.

He said, like what? I said, well, I didn't really want to go into it, but I had a few financial issues lately and trying to sort it out and just don't know where to start. He said, well, if you tried step change, I said, what's that? He said, it's like a finance company. It's a charity, but they help you to sort out your finances.

They give you advice. They don't tell you what to do. They just, they, and you don't have to take their advice, that they try and figure a way that you can then have enough to live on financially and do whatever, you know, guide you in the direction you need to go.

I said, okay, step change. That sounds familiar. He said, yeah, you used it before.

I did? He said, yeah, about 2013 or 2014 or 2012. I don't know, something like that. I said, how do you know that? He said, oh, I was, I just remember.

I said, this is weird. How do you know so much about me? He said, because I am you. And then all the, all the walls fell down from the supermarket and I realized I was in a big television studio and it was a prank.

And it was like, oh, Jeremy Beadle turns up, which is weird. And you'd know why it's weird if you live in this country, why it'd be weird that he turned up. And he was saying, you've been framed.

Or as he used to speak, you're being framed. Oh, very strange. But I am thinking of getting the, what's it? That, I don't want to say blanket or cover.

I mean, it is a cover, isn't it? A bush cover. Just sounds weird to say bush cover. I don't know why I'm going to get a cover from a bush and it seems like a really good idea, but it needs to be done on the cheap and also want to put some lights on the tree.

Again, it needs to be done on the real cheap, like really cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap. So I need to figure out how to do that. Because it'll be outside.

So I guess it would need to be battery operated. And also, I do have, I do have a ladder. So I could probably wrap it around and try and get some outside tinsel.

I don't have tinsel, it's different from outside. But for me, it's yeah, just something I quite like to do. One of the neighbours has already put a bauble on there, just to kind of, yeah, for my friend downstairs, kind of to say hello.

I don't know. It's, that was the whole point of doing the tree just for him, because it's his tree. And he's not here this year to see it.

And I just thought it'd be nice to do something. And it wasn't just my idea. Some people have thought about it as well.

Because that was, he loved that tree. Yeah, there's a lot of noise downstairs. It's one of those days today, where it is, it's kind of, I don't know, happy birthday to my friend Noel as well.

It's his birthday. It's a bit damp. It's one of those, it's a little bit damp, just, it feels a bit damp.

I know it's raining a little bit, but it just feels like in the air is a bit, you know, a bit. Yeah. So what other stories is there? Torval and Dean will dance on ice keep going even we don't know yet.

And that's Dazzling Duo pair have skated for 50 years. Torval and Dean, not done too bad, you know. They won the Golden Olympics in 1984.

And to still be around doing but still be around earning money on television is pretty amazing. I would say and I was 14. 14 when they won the Olympics.

Well, no, I was 13, just about to turn 14. Lady Gaga broke her nose whilst sneezing. No, whilst moshing to Franz Ferdinand.

Okay, I'm a bit rude. I can't believe they put that in a newspaper. Unless of course moshing isn't what I think it is.

The band's Bob Hardy revealed the unexpected moment on Joe Wiley's Radio 2 show. Bob declares, my niece is now 16. And I'm suddenly called to her because I told her that Lady Gaga broke her nose in a mosh pit.

A mosh pit is where people bang into each other and stuff, isn't it? I never understood that. I understand it if it's 10 year olds doing it. Because that's kind of that rough and tumble 10 year olds maybe would want to sort of do that.

But adults? No, I don't do really. I've never seen on TV. I think I have seen it in reality as well.

I think I've seen it at the front of rock concerts and well, like live gigs, not rock concerts, like in pubs and venues and stuff. And I just don't don't get it. I don't don't.

I just not one little bit. Do I get it? I don't know. So she was moshing, having a good old mosh.

What are we having a look at here? No more people pleasing. Ariana says she learnt a lot from the role. I think.

What's that all about? Where is it? I'm trying to see. No more people pleasing. So why? Where is she people pleasing? I'm straight to toot my own trumpet sometimes.

Oh, maybe it's the next one. It may be Charlie does. That's weird.

But it's not even. Oh, okay. The bit the writing bits to the right the next page.

Ariana Grande cast a spell on us in Wicked. And she stares playing Glinda in the movie has left a mark on her too. She tells me whoever me is playing the iconic witch in the big screen adaption of the stage musical has taught her to stop being a people pleaser as she opens up about how the role has changed her.

Reflected on what the part has taught her. Ariana says coming into the role. I think I would doubt myself and maybe even have been a bit of a people pleaser.

Glinda in a good way is so sure of herself. She's taught me. Oh, dear.

I can't even read that. What age is this thing that I mean, it I can understand. I can't read it.

Glinda in a good way is so sure of herself. She's taught me that it's okay to have boundaries and stop trying to people please. When I think of all that she's taught me, it actually makes me a little emotional.

Although famous for top 10 hits such as love me harder. Think you next. Thank you next and call me angel.

Ariana started out as a stage on stage as an actor appearing in Broadway musical 13 at just 15. Well, there's a musical called 13. Still in her teens, she found fame as Cat Valentine in the Nickelodeon TV series Victorious.

And she says it was a joy to put her music aside and escape real life by getting back to her roots. Ariana says what I've really missed about acting is the opportunity to be someone else. When I'm writing music, it's an extension of me.

I'm writing about my own pain, my own trauma, my own experiences. But when I'm acting, I get to take this character on that's nothing to do with me. Of course, I tried to bring my own.

I try, I try to bring my own experience to life. But yeah, that's what I've really missed. Wicked is the first of a two part adaption.

So I want to watch that because I thought it's one of those things that the books were out and I never read them. But the Wizard of Oz was one of my favorite movies ever growing up. And people used to moan it's on every year.

Yeah, I'm glad it's on every year. Back when I was a kid. Cynthia is a misunderstood witch.

Cynthia's what? Wicked is the first of a two part adaption of the stage musical starring Ariana, Cynthia Erivo, Jonathan Bailey, Michelle Yeo and Jeff Goldblum. Cynthia's Ella Ferber. Is a misunderstood witch because of her green skin.

While Glinda is a popular girl. They become friends at Shiz University in the land of Oz. But their bond is tested after they cross path with Oz's wonderful wizard.

And with hits such as Popular and Defying Gravity. Ariana has still been able to showcase her amazing vocals in the film. And bosses at Universal Pictures will be singing too.

Really? They've joined in? Fans flocking to cinemas helped it rake in 14 million in the UK and Ireland on its release, making it a top grossing opening weekend of 2024. So she sings. What did she say earlier? It was a joy to put her music aside and escape real life by getting back to her roots.

But she sings in it. It's not really. Okay, I want to watch it.

I think I could be quite good. Jessie J. Okay. Jessie, Jessie J made 7.6 million last year.

Despite releasing no music. That's not bad, is it? Good on her. I like Jessie J. I liked her before she was famous.

How would you know before she was famous? No, she had a YouTube channel. And she was doing her price tag, but the price tag and stuff on the New York underground. And it was Yeah, she was on YouTube for I don't know how long for.

And then she released a song, which was a big hit. And love the album to hold on. I listen to it still now and then.

Yeah. Here's a weird one here. Prisoners really as inmates can take a long relaxing stretch.

That's the headlines. Prisoners really are enjoying a cushy time taking turns on a vibrating massage chair. Is that just the men's prisons or the female prisons or both? Which one which one had the longest queue drones to crush motorbike mourners, Towie star, Towie star and new love on moment they met.

What? He says she's like Julia Roberts and Claudia Schieffer rolled into one. And someone says what do you mean old? No. And Nicole on him arge.

She said, when I saw him, it was like Moses parted the Red Sea. Was that a euphemism? I don't know. Top 10 singles this year.

This this week, the good the bad and the ugly Eloise, Eloise, this old heart of mine 1968. Really? Along the way. All right.

Oh, blimey. I thought some of these songs that they re releases Eric Clapton, Jimi Hendrix. Okay, 1968.

First of December 1968. The good, the bad and the ugly. I am a tiger Lulu.

Blimey. So awesome. Grandfather.

Yeah. Oh, should we do a star signs? Let's do a star signs. Let's have a look at the star signs.

Where is it? Where is it? Where are the star signs? My baby. Star signs, star signs. I won't read all the star signs.

In fact, should I read all of them? Yeah. So then you can know what yours is as well. So that you can direct your whole world around what some random stranger makes up in a newspaper.

Probably done by AI. Oh, what is this? Okay, right. That's all the TV things.

Oh, come on. I just want the star signs. Oh, there is.

Here we go. Right. So let's go here.

If you're Aries, it says, I'm not going to say what dates the Aries is because you're going to know if you're Aries or not. Yeah. Can you believe anyone? We say, Oh, what star sign are you? I don't know.

How would you not know? Blimey. Aries, you might find it a bit challenging to see eye to eye with a relative or business partner. If you don't stand up for yourself, this tension could escalate.

Keep away from people who are only or overly talkative. So keep away from me. Taurus, your energy and determination will ensure you do a great job at any task.

Some people will wonder how you managed it. But once you set a goal in sight, you might you you will keep going until the job is finished. Do a good job.

What's next one I'm going to blow over Gemini, stay calm and practical. And you'll find ways to move forward. Someone will make some creative suggestions, but do consider how feasible they are.

You'll know what will work and what might fail. So Cancer, if you notice the effort someone is making to please you, show them the same consideration. Learn their likes and dislikes.

If you sense you're approaching something in the wrong way, change your tactics. Okay, Leo, life is busy and you are starting to realise you've had your fill of socialising, volunteer efforts and group activities. You will feel much happier spending time within your own four walls with your family.

Virgo, me. You're reluctant to share your thoughts in a group, as you have had negative feedback before. Let go of past experiences and focus on the present.

Your views could make a difference to someone's life. I've got no idea what accent that was. Libra, you will hope for a reconciliation after a disagreement with a friend or a partner.

Often you leave it to others to lead out of fear of getting hurt and sometimes people are happy with this arrangement. Again, another accent, I'm not sure. Okay, let's try.

Okay, Scorpio, you're a careful attitude. Vinnie, do you have to make so much noise? Scorpio, your careful attitude towards money will lead to a more secure future. Opportunities are on the horizon, which will offer a solid base on which to shape your future.

This is a chance to reassess your priorities. Sagittarius, you've let many troubles overwhelm you. By looking at ways to simplify your financial situation, you will feel less anxious.

It's easy to miss details when things become overly complicated. Capricorn, you tend to take a down-to-earth approach to most aspects of life. It will be rather annoying that those around you keep changing their opinions.

You'll wonder why someone is being so stubborn. Aquarius, don't underestimate the influence you have on others. You might wish someone would stop being so lazy and start taking action.

Sometimes all it takes is a gentle push to motivate people. And Pisces, you will regret it if you allow others to make your mind up for you. Take time to think things over.

You need a clear idea of what will work for you. Once you have decided on this, don't be afraid to speak up.