(music) #1220 Sunday Papers - Let Me Bore You To Sleep (20th October 2024)

Hello and welcome to Let Me Bore You To Sleep. My name is Jason Newland. This is Sunday Papers.

Read all about it. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. I hope you're well.

Yeah. So that's it. I'm trying to think.

Update. Oh man I tell you this. I had a tantrum earlier.

I actually had a tantrum. I took Vinnie out. Well he wanted to go out.

It was raining. It wasn't like raining hard when I went out. He's just having some dinner.

But after about five minutes it started to rain and they got heavier and it was windy and Vinnie didn't seem to care at all. Which is weird because if it had already been raining hard he probably wouldn't have wanted to even go out. He'd have like put his feet down.

He's got he's got these little magnets that they're they're on the bottom of his feet but he can switch them on and then magnetize and draw him to the core of the planet. The core of the earth. And I can't move him.

It's like really he gets stuck to the ground. Earth magnets I call them. And that's what he does in that situation.

But today he wanted to be outside and he did a few wheeze. I was getting wet. Wetter and wetter and wetter and wetter.

Not in a good way. And he would not do a poo. And I found myself getting angrier internally.

Like I wanted to shout at him. Which I know is ridiculous. You know I'm aware of that.

But I still wanted to shout at him. Like and the idea shouting at a dog to do a poo is it's kind of it's just seriously sad. It's a very very sad thing to do.

And I was trying to figure out why am I getting so angry. And part of it is because I think because my neighbor didn't return the brolly. I'm holding on to that.

She borrowed my brolly and then she didn't give it back. Apparently one of her family took it and didn't return it. And it's the thing is when it's raining I'm like okay I'm getting wet because of the neighbor not returning my brolly.

The fact of the matter is it was too windy. Couldn't use a brolly anyway. That's the truth.

But it didn't stop me having a tantrum. And I was getting so angry. It's really really weird because I'm usually quite a calm person.

But in this instance I was really really angry. Which is weird because I woke up in a fairly good mood. I was boxing on last night.

Which was good. And yeah there was a couple of really good fights on. But bless you Vinnie.

Don't stare at me. Come on. Come here.

We're not going anywhere. We're staying here until I've done this recording. Good boy.

Just chill out. Good girl. That's it.

Good girl. That's it. Cuddle.

Cuddle daddy. You don't have to lean on the laptop. He's not leaning.

So I've got the iPad open because I'm going to be doing. What? It's Sunday. Pay pass.

So I'm going to be looking at the Readly app. So I did a recording. How many recordings have I done this week? Hey my little pumpkin.

My little pumpkin. Hey you okay? You want cuddles? You want my attention? You want daddy's attention? You are so cute. Yes you are.

He's leaning. He's leaning the top of his head on my belly and just looking up at me. Oh you are so beautiful.

Are you my beautiful little baby boy? Are you my beautiful little baby boy? So what recordings have I done since last Sunday? Let's have a look. So I did Sunday papers which was the 13th of October. It's now the 20th.

I did a Monday boring objects on the 14th. That was about bikes. Trivia Tuesday on the Tuesday the 15th.

Then I did on the Wednesday. Yeah on the Wednesday it was number 1216. Let Me Bore You To Sleep called unfocused babble.

It doesn't sound like me. Thursday the 17th healing Thursday and Friday the 18th of October. I did let me a Q&A Friday and then the 19th of October I did Let Me Bore You To Sleep number 1219 called online autism test.

So I've done one every single day this week. That's good isn't it? Are you proud of me? Oh yeah? Oh yeah? What did I do the week before? It sounds like I'm stalling for time but I'm not. Genuinely I'm not.

So I did Sunday. Did Saturday. Did Friday.

Did Thursday. No I didn't do Thursday the week before. Wow I didn't.

Did Q&A Friday. An update okay so the week before was yeah I did some I but it wasn't quite as as regular as this week. Hey who's my baby? Who's my little baby? Are you my little baby? Oh you little ears.

You've got the cutest little ears in the whole wide world. Yes you have. Yes you have.

Cutest little ears in the whole wide world. Vinnie you're lovely. Vinnie you are.

Vinnie so beautiful when I look into the sky I see a star but only at night because during the day I can't see the stars and you might ask what looking up to the sky and seeing a star has got to do with you being so beautiful. Well it actually has a lot to do with you being so wonderful and you probably think it's just because it rhymes with ah because I said you are and then I said star and that's a very lazy rhyme but it might improve given some time.

Stop licking that video.

Okay carry on. I apologize wholeheartedly for whatever that was. So I have the newspapers oh yeah you can if you if you're interested you can join my Facebook group which is Jason Newland's Boring Group.

I also have a YouTube channel where I upload each recording each time I do a recording I upload a 10 hour version so that's cool. So let's have a look at the papers. I want to go through them.

Daily Mirror. I'm going to miss out the the you know the serious stuff so let's move forward and I've got to skip a few so I'll skip that. Right the JFK.

Yes the McRib is back like proper backpack. Okay so that's a McDonald's advert. United's one of the diverses.

Right I'll skip through that. There's a lot about a specific story that happened a few days ago and that's been they're really filling with that. Oh look Comet's a nice old spectacle.

So I'm reading this is the Daily Mirror. Wait a minute this is from Saturday. I don't want that I want the Sunday papers.

It's Sunday today isn't it? What on earth is going on? Sunday. It is Sunday. Right let's start with a Sunday Mail.

A Sunday Mail. TV Anita. I'm single and loving it.

That's good. Right what else? Anger at Taxpayer Hannaford Jollis. Right Sweeney calls for the right.

Here we go. Oh Scherzinger. Nicole Scherzinger has chair raising experience shown off some pussy up the pussy.

I can't mix it up. Some dance moves. The pussy cat doll.

And I'll tell you what she's a really good singer. Really good. Okay let's go back.

Small private Fawlty Towers. Oh this might be good. The newly departed SMP CRO compared himself to Basil Fawlty at a meeting at SMP members yesterday.

Murray Moot said joining the party after his role as a newspaper editor was similar to the hapless hotelier. Try not to mention. Okay it's just it's a politics thing.

Okay here we go. Christopher. Oh come on there's got to be some nice stories somewhere.

Beware the pig farmer. Nope. Apparently it's not a nice story.

Right. Oh look at this. Right.

Bully cat warning. Oh my goodness. An XL cat.

That can't be a real cat. It yeah it wouldn't look at a place in a horror movie. It's a scary looking thing.

Mind you I think cats. You take the hair off of any cat. They look weird.

It's like dogs. If you take a look even like Andre when I used to put him in the bath and all his fur. He's quite quite fluffy fur.

When it was just stuck to his body he didn't look great. Cat lovers have been warned against buying animals bred to look like banned XL dogs. Experts say they suffer from serious health defects and should be avoided.

So so-called XL cats were created by breeders mixing Spinks. I'm sorry and Munchkin cat genes. I don't know why I just love the word Munchkin.

So mixing Spunks Spunks and Munchkin cats cat genes. So yeah I mean isn't that how mixing cats and dogs has been going on for years isn't it. It's because they can.

We can't do it as humans can we. Otherwise we would. I mean technically we're mixing two different humans together in a sense.

So I guess it is. Yeah it is isn't it. But don't don't dogs and cats can't they like.

Let's say have a big party where there's maybe lots of different dogs all enjoying themselves and then the doggy gets pregnant and has a baby and and it's kind of a mix of lots of different dogs. Not just so say there's an Alsatian and a Corgi and the Alsatian and the Corgi both made love to a I'm trying to think a St. Bernard and then the St.

Bernard gives birth to a St. Bernard but also a mix with a Corgi and a Rottweiler. So yeah that'd be Axin two child cat would be a winner.

Axin two time the two child cat limit would cut the cost of per. Did you know did you know this is something I found interesting. It is against the law to send a child to school without breakfast.

It's weird that they need to there needs to be a law for something like that. It seems like you know if there is such a thing as common sense but it's actually a human rights violation to send a child to school without breakfast. Did you know that? So anyone that actually sends their kid to school without breakfast and I'm not saying if the kid refuses to eat that's a different thing altogether.

You know if a kid doesn't want to eat tough tough on the kid stuff them but you know as far as legally they have to have something to eat and you know what another bit of the law is if someone can't afford to feed then someone else has to feed the kid. It is all of our our duty every adult's duty in this pretty much most of the world 197 countries to make sure that kids eat before going to school.

Well make sure they eat full stop make sure they're safe make sure they looked after make sure they they you know have an education all that stuff that's our our duty it's in law so that's interesting so what I'm saying basically is if you don't want to feed your kids let your neighbor do it they have to because it's law.

Warring Gallagher's kept apart to save world tour. Oh Liam and Noel stand to make 50 million each from next year's world tour if they can keep the peace. I mean unless they're running out of money I imagine they've got a few quid in the bank.

Okay who's this Ward out to well after bottom what okay Shane Ward is that Shane oh because that's a different person okay Shane Ward Shane Ward from Boyzone isn't it Shane Ward was he in Boyzone? I'm not sure where's Shane Ward from? It is Boyzone yeah Shane Ward says his 40th birthday plans are on hold after he narrowly escapes an early strict exit. Now Shane Ward is not 40 he's a lot he's the same age as me if it is once it's not it's definitely not yeah in fact it could be older than me so he's definitely not that one that I'm thinking of.

Singer and actor Shane who won the X Factor second series in 2005 okay X Factor winner cool and wonder who that was and Shane there is a Shane in that band.

Storm smashly emergency teams prayer for damage prepare for damage and chaos at 80 miles an hour winds blow in from the Atlantic. I'm pretty sure the rest of the world must be laughing at us that we're preparing for my 80 miles an hour winds I mean it's a lot for us but other countries it's just that's like a breeze to them. God it has been windy a little bit a little bit windy today all best of Scotland specially selected pork that's nice another advert Elton Pinn's UK Elton Pinn's UK rescue hope on Starmer Elton John said he hopes Keir Starmer's Labour can rescue Britain from the doldrums.

The Rocket Man singer's comment came as he as the government attempted to woo global investors at a major summit last Monday. Drone to all here we go here's an interesting well is a story James May from Top Gear has said that his former show Top Gear was very much of its time and suggested a change to the format would be needed to bring it back to TV.

The BBC rested Top Gear for the foreseeable future after Andrew Flyntoff da da da again it still has to just do something do a nice story oh never mind this is the this is the Sunday list it's kind of celebrity stuff where is it let's have a look George Lucas and his wife Melody Hodson Hobson welcomed daughter Everest in 2013 through surrogacy when Lucas was 93 now he's 80 he also has three adopted kids he was 69 when he had George Lucas I mean I wonder if they vetted him to

see if he could afford to to raise kids you know the Plodd father male stars who have kids late in life here we go we have nevermind the Godfather AI Pacino no Al Pacino has revealed what it's like to be a dad at the age what it's like to be a dad at the age of 84 the whole week it was asked the question but it unfortunately kept falling asleep whilst trying to answer the Hollywood legend who had a baby with a 30 year old ex Nour Al Falah last year

is 30 year old ex so he's not even with her anymore or is she too old getting too old aging a bit just hit 30 mate now time for a new model blimey 30 40 50 60 70 80 54 years based on that when he was my age his girlfriend or his ex-girlfriend was just being born blimey Nour Al Falah last night's last year has written his autobiography what oh she's written his autobiography but Pacino's memory is very much written for his baby son Roman and reveals how much fun it

is to be a much older father Pacino joined a list of male celebrities who have children much later in life without the weird thing about it right is they can get away with it because of who they are so you've got Bernie Ecclestone had his fourth child in 2020 at the grand old age of 89 89 the former Formula One boss and his wife Fabiana Flossie then 44 welcomed a son Ace he has three daughters with previous partners so had his fourth child he was 89 in 2020 so he's now

over 90 he's I mean I'm just hmm does he know I don't know just he's 90 so he's not now 93 now it's it I don't know it just it seems like it might be a bit weird for the kid but then if the kid doesn't know any different then it's not gonna be is it but if it's just I don't know just it seems a little bit just a little bit unfair for the kid just in a sense of let's face it I reckon I don't know but I imagine

it must be pretty groovy not for everyone obviously because there's been you know famous stories about kids of famous people and stuff but it must be quite groovy to be Albert Chino's child or Robert De Niro's child or Ronnie Wood's child or Rod Stewart or Billy Joel or Clint Eastwood or Ronnie Wood Robert De Niro I said all the names of my George Lucas Elton but you know it's it must be really kind of cool because it's just such a different life and to be with someone that's a hero you

know Mick Jagger I mean he's Wow he's he's his oldest kid is 53 54 his oldest child is 54 Mick Jagger's and his youngest is eighth kid in 2016 I thought he had a kid recently oh maybe not so 16 so his youngest kids 8 his oldest kids 54 quite an age difference I'm not a big issue yeah I don't have an issue of age difference it's just as long as it's legal I don't care but it must be strange but then love's love isn't it and you think how how

close some kids are to their grandparents so maybe that's a really good time for a father or for a man or you know to become a father when they're like granddad age because of all that life experience and but my dad he's the best granddad in the whole wide world he's just so full of love for his grandkids none of those grandkids are my kids by the way I don't have any children although I've still got this little niggle that there is there's a child out there somewhere with my genetic

DNA half of my DNA I do but it's hard to know if your mum's name is Michelle dark hair from Manchester and you were born in 2006 no 1996 sorry you may be my child I see any information I got she was a good singer very good singer let's have a little a niggle a little maybe yeah I think she was from Manchester I don't know she was northern anyway I think definitely Manchester and yep 2000 and yeah definitely would have been born in 2006 1996 not 2006 1996 which means

my child my son or daughter would be 96 97 98 99 2000 2001 2002 2003 2004 2005 2006 2007 2008 2009 2010 2011 2012 2013 2014 2015 2016 2017 2018 2019 2020 2021 2022 2023 2024 over 20 years old or over 20 or 38 whichever way you want to look at it so I've not only missed their childhood I've missed their adulthood I've missed their I've missed everything when they're basically grandparents now then it is old as me that doesn't make sense does it it's not 38 years is it I'll

just do it again 19 do a shortcut 90 96 2006 2016 2026 29 26 take off to take off one so 2026 take off 10 2026 so it's 20 years that's 30 years 2026 take off 10 so that's 20 years and then add 8 so it's now add 5 so 2020 so it's 25 then add 3 28 28 years yeah 28 years old so I've missed all that time with that child well they're not child anymore they do an adult they might have like an 8 9 year old kid they

might have five kids especially if they're as virile as I am so weird I've never been virile Wow so yeah I don't know I've got talking about that and Billy Joel how old is Billy Joel singer welcomed another girl to his family at the age of 68 his fourth wife Alexis gave birth to Remy two years after big sister Della in 2015 his first daughter Alexa with second wife model Christie Brinkley is 38 so you know Billy Joel used to be a boxer apparently my friend was a huge fan of

Billy Joel I like him as well I do I like listening to his songs and well I mean not gonna watch him dance am I I like he's really good I think he's who reminds me a little bit of I don't know it's kind of he's like Elton John in the sense of but he writes his own songs he writes the lyrics but Elton John doesn't write the lyrics but he does do the music and composes the songs out of the lyrics which has got to be that sounds like quite

a hard thing to do I mean for me when I was I used to write songs it used to be really came from the tune to start with oh look here's a thing John Johansson I'm not super mom and I'm refusing to feel super guilty about that anymore me me me me me I had a huge epiphany epiphany epiphany last week after finally realizing this work-life balance is a lie a big fat one too and that doesn't exist me me me me me me okay right I can't be bothered to

read the rest of that model behavior okay VD okay pocket guide steps into venal history I don't know what that is a guidebook devoted to Edinburgh's venal steps has been released it's the first pocketbook guide to the steps in the old town which have connection from again why did I have to go into like horrible stuff just is is a notion is there no nice history nice stories from history well can you imagine an alien coming down there and all they've got to kind of realize what this planet is is

just that days newspapers for some reason they can read and but nothing else everything else is destroyed but the aliens come down here and like oh just to get an idea what was going on in the world and you know our history and everything I don't think they'd want to stay you want to stay imagine everyone was like all in a big bunker millions of people in the bunker and the aliens you know we're all looking through the glass at the aliens it's less can you let us out please when

I say aliens not aliens from the movies can let us out please just knock it on a glass they're looking at these newspapers and thinking oh no I think you can stay there see ya stories cracking up here at the moment we find some angry passengers or and give your home afar a five-star makeover here go we've got a piece in a jar no campaign to end nope so breaks you know the only nice things in the newspaper is adverts and that's just sad they're weird come on let's move away

from this they've got to be some nice things legal weed smuggling flooding into Britain dope is flooding into the UK from countries where it has been legalized we're still not legal here is it yeah like somehow it's still not legal to smuggle it so if they're giving the impression you can go to Thailand for example where it's I think it's currently legal for weed to be smoked and to buy it try and smuggle it out of the country and your holiday will be extended indefinitely and that's the best possible outcome

to wish for you know just because they they they're not tolerant at all with stuff like that they keep changing their mind though in Thailand that they make rules in the country they just like we're changing it now so it's takes a while so we figure out because like when I was there I don't because I don't really indulge in stuff like that so anymore and I just like I'm not gonna do something like now that six months ago could have got me put in prison for ten years you know

I mean I'm like okay the rules have changed I'm gonna stick it so definitely steer clear from anything that used to be really serious a really serious you like no I'll keep away because what they change their mind while you're in the middle you go into the shop you buy some stuff and then you when you come out the rules have changed and you're surrounded by cops a burger and prize charity workers joy at McDonald's win oh that's a nice story it's not an advert though is it Oh could be

McFreebies gates and low said to a gold car right van okay nope rockin robbery McFly and busted are ready to rock and roll out the insults do you remember when they were McBusted timber when they got together two different bands got together so Jeffrey Archer he's going on what's he going on about Jeffrey Archer Swifties have ruined my local I've been going for 30 years I'll show do that ace accent I for 30 years and had my own table but I could not get in there for like the last month

well it's bad in it in getting to prison but you can't get into his own pub so it's next all star signs should we do I'm gonna do my star signs for each newspaper see if they're similar so this is star signs from the Sunday Mail Virgo which is me August 24th till September 23rd a week for looking more deeply into resources and possibly checking out official business review to making everything fit better this week this week may have a crunch point but it has a positive outcome right so let's

go out let's go out of that let's go to the next newspaper that's a Sunday Mail independent I wonder if they have a I don't know if they even have a thing whoops the independence a bit more of a serious newspapers I don't know if they have star signs I don't know probably they are tabloid but not really there for fun I was in the independent yeah 1993 they called me the worst Britain's worst comic but they didn't call me it they called another person it but they had my picture

that's when I realized that's when I realized I'm famous as she was infamous which is what I always wanted but for the wrong reason I wanted to be infamous for being funny but rude and said I was just infamous for being not funny which isn't good right I'm gonna go to the observer so let's see I'm gonna skip through this see if there's a star sign I used to read The Observer I always liked The Observer actually I don't know why I just did now Zen Pig changed the world yeah

you see that they wanted to give out a Zen Pig a Zen Pig which is the weight-loss thing to overweight people so they could get back to work and stuff it's a weird it's let's focus on health above all else everyone's health right doesn't look like they have a star sign they do have a crossword but my success with crosswords is limited to say the least right it's got sport but no boxing how can they fill it with so much sport but no boxing I don't get it oh well who's

that music Amaria Amaria right have I done a Daily Mail let's do the Daily Star so this will have or let's see what's the headlines here Conquergate we're gentlemen at the World Conquer Championship and we don't cheat I've been playing and practicing for years and that's how I won I'm not guilty so clearly they've been someone's accused them of cheating and that's it okay I can't bother to read it I can figure it out just from the headline who's on page three yeah they still got paid free girl but she's

in a bikini and Emily's looking pretty in pink 25 this is so old our date now this kind of having a model on page three it's weird even just 25 year old from Sussex is bringing the Seaside vibes with her barely there bikini so so I don't know it's a tad of a day but a bit of a dip right kind of to this I don't really watch don't really look at them these newspapers normally William she talking about old people William Shatner plans to spend Christmas in Antarctica for his

latest voyage of discovery in October 2021 no it was really three years ago that he went to space aged 90 it doesn't seem like three years ago for his latest real-life adventure he it's not really I mean you know he spent years in space didn't he so they make a big deal who else would you expect to do stuff like that it's been his whole life being a Trace Blaylor Wow this conquer man I'm cleared to conquer again right here we go is this an advert big names are getting the

hots for flogging their own spicy sauces a host of famous spice lovers have put their names to hot dips and marinades among the celebs to jump on the trend is Brooklyn Beckham whoever that is who recently made his her debut debut into the market with her 15 pound bottle of cloud 23 in flavors hot habanero and sweet jalapeno others include music stars Ed Sheeran and is and her source tingly Ted's and Alice Cooper with poison Reaper retailer Ocado so sales are up 10% year-on-year James Nicolian of some like it hot

an online store selling imported and rare versions said hot sauce is the closest thing to magic it makes everything better and I don't know just thinking send it to send it to other countries that need help there you go no no no aid but you this this a hot sauce that makes everything better I'm Daisy caned Daisy Mary Cooper Daisy May Cooper is back at work fan actor Al Pacino is once kidnapped by a female fan the Godfather star 84 had got so drunk while out with Gene Hackman's brother he

couldn't remember where he was staying in his newly released memoir sunny boy Pacino says a woman said to me oh I'll drive you home that goes back to what we said earlier he didn't write it his ex-girlfriend wrote it and without a second thought I got into a car even in my days I could recognize that she was not talking to taking me back to where I was staying she said straight out I'm kidnapping you it was only when Pacino opened the car door and threatened to jump out that a

woman agreed to take him home and I probably would have got out of the car I probably wouldn't have closed the door again if I'm honest TV shows no selector Lee society won't allow it Lee Francis says his tele show bow selector will never come back because of society the Channel 4 series saw him send up a range of celebrities and okay right yeah this is this one of those things that what is it that this the saying of the other paper of its time Richard Chaton right now okay Shane

Pickett's okay he's one old age brave Lawrence interior designer guru Lawrence Llewellyn Bowen has some typically flamboyant tips for improving old age be brave and have fun the changing movie star says Britain needs to revolutionize its attitude to grow an old to avoid a tsunami of health problems and the 59 year old said speaking as an old person it boils down to the fact it's down to us we need to look after us not drink too much don't smoke take more exercise and broaden our horizons if we all did that

for ourselves there would be no tsunami no government can fix this change has to come from within well thank you thank you guru interior design guru Lawrence Llewellyn Bowen you have transformed my life thank you very much I'm really will frighten them on a loose ship toilets are haunted by Churchill Winston Churchill haunts the women's lose of the Queen Mary liner plays a ghost hunter singers why the women's lose why would he be in the women's lose okay I've got to read it I'm sorry I can't not now I've never

wanted to do anything as much as I have read this I've never been so excited can't tell from my voice okay blimey it's 12 minutes past 9 12 minutes past 9 it's late I'm in a bit of a late day today yeah singer and spook expert Brock hard saw the wartime p.m. in the labs of the vessel of the vessel now docked in California as a posh hotel okay so it's docked in the hotel okay Brock hard who was on board for a party said I always experienced paranormal activity when

I least expect it I opened the bathroom that's weird what was going there my phone just did a weird thing I felt I opened the bathroom door and it was filled with a thick mist I felt like someone was following me but when the door slammed behind me it slammed twice like someone followed me in she added I saw the full apparition of a heavy set man with a cigar he looked exactly like Winston Churchill it was the quickest bathroom visit I've ever made so you stayed I wouldn't even wipe

I'd be out there it's like no I'll be gone I would never return is is a dad joke this is it okay my car broke down between a marina and a Clinton's shop now I'm stuck between a dock and a card place see I don't I find that a bit annoying a bit disrespectful the idea that someone a male just because he's a father would just come out with really crap jokes like that like just is it's disrespectful towards men stop it it's just a jokes a joke and that I

mean it might be a funny joke I didn't couldn't really see but that the idea that dad jokes I remember I had this job in 2013 in a call center and I was one of the oldest again 43 probably 43 42 43 and I was in there and there's quite a few people like in the early 20s so I was you know double their age I guess that's quite old for them and I said something and one of the girls that was working there who was in my team said Oh

Jason did a funny well Jason said a funny like a I found that very just so we're not allowed to be funny once you get over the age of 30s is that the cough point I just found it very strange that's why it's I'm still angry I should let it go I really should let it go but I've been so angry oh so yeah I there was another what's it used or another similar thing when I was at Churchill so I was only 30 32 myself and this like 19 or

20 year old was working again in my team and it's at the end of the shift and I pulled my phone out I think said have you got a phone I said yeah so I pulled my phone out I said oh I thought you'd have a really old-fashioned one and a really like big chunky thing it's like why why would I have a you know it's like it's for I'd have a like a really crap phone because she had a good phone it's like well I'm earning twice as much as

you I can afford a phone which was a fact because I was I was earning twice as much as that not not salary but like with bonus because I was the king I wasn't but it wasn't about money it's like it wasn't he it was just a contract phone it wasn't expensive but the idea that like because I was so old I was 32 so old how how could I have an up-to-date phone Wow it's like people expected me to be walking around with a Nokia 10 now you know it's

like anyway I had a flip phone I loved that little phone that a few phones got my first phone in 98 I was a little bit a little bit slow to the little bit slow to the well on that one by I got it yeah 98 I didn't want a phone it might have been late 97 I'm thinking it was early yeah it might have been late 97 sort of like November time December or something and it wasn't a contract it was just pay pay as you go and I had

this little aerial and I used to like to pull it out of my teeth and just let it swing from my mouth yeah I don't know it's just something I used to like do and then just spin it around like a helicopter kind of except the helicopter it would be it'd be like a helicopter but reverse with the actual body of the helicopter spin around instead of the propeller so it's nothing like a helicopter but I enjoyed doing it one of my favorite phones was a flip phone I've had a

couple of flip phones I had one Ericsson this was back in mmm you know what yeah my first flip phone probably 2000 no 19 maybe 99 I got Ericsson Ericsson's were really popular back then and it was like almost like a kind of Star Trek hand transporter talk thing every now and then I would just like open up and say beat me up when there was no one around because I enjoyed doing it oh look at this in the brown stuff filming for the mrs.

Browns boys Christmas special was halted so the BBC could investigate offensive remarks made during filming about time to every store blimey it's a bit over the top the ward on the street who is this bloke I don't know it's not even saying what is what his name is the ward on the street I went to buy a Dracula costume for Halloween but when the shop assistant brought out a Manchester United football shirt I said you must have misheard me I said I want to look like a count see this that

is a good joke in a sense of you know an anti Manchester United fan and that's a dad's joke because it's you know it's humorous so this bloke decides that every episode is so unfunny it offends me deeply I can only hope that this will be the final nail in his coffin and it would the thing is it's actually quite a feel-good show I think and I don't know what all the thing is I don't know what they said well look Bruce young sir Bruce Bruce Springsteen says Bruce Springsteen says

the music industry puts enormous pressures on young people and young people don't have the inner facility or the inner self yet to be able to protect themselves from a lot of things that come with success and fame but Bruce did why assuming other people don't you did Bruce you baby so it seems a little bit it's a word condescending to think that he was okay he could deal with success but no one else can I agree it's I was different back then I wasn't it there was no internet so when

he started out is what the 60s 70s probably 70s so he maybe is around yes I mean it's definitely born in the 60s around in the 60s she's 71 now I don't know there was no internet but people still got harassed there was no internet when Marilyn Monroe was around but she was still affected by all of the tabloid press and the intrusion wasn't she there was no internet as such with Princess Diana I mean there was internet but it was very no there wasn't no internet wasn't really a big

thing here back then it was around it was just kind of in his infancy and so yeah the internet hasn't been around forever but famous people being hassled and maybe struggling has been around forever as long as famous people have been around I kind of get what you're saying but yeah Linda from birds of a feather says I defend right to offend oh I'm sorry that was out loud Rihanna Sugden shows off her new shorter hair the model 38 shared the saucy snap with her hordes of admirers who is Rihanna

Sugden when she slipped on Batman or something I don't know who she is Rihanna Sugden Rihanna Sugden not Rihanna Rihanna Sugden who is Rihanna Sugden I've got no idea if I look if I look for long enough maybe I'll realize who she is no still don't know who she is still don't recognize her at all I'm looking at but I can't that place or anywhere okay now look at her face see if that helps almost once in every five years oh wow this is an interesting thing so this is farts

and furious that's the headline this what is paper is this the daily star on Sunday almost one in every five couples of weaponized farting during arouse Wow a shocking 19% said they let rip at home to show displeasure or wind up in their fat or okay displeasure or wind up their partner don't use a word wind when you're talking about wind because it gets confusing men are more likely to let off them women during a row do people really do people really fart during an argument today they really blow off

to it that's what used to be called blowing off the people really blow off during a row I've never didn't I did not know that I mean I don't really have arguments but I did not know that so men are more likely to let off the women during that are the women with 14% of them owning up compared to 5% of women and people from Manchester do it the most how would they know what is the study for this where is the study oh here is bingo site which bingo.co.uk not

an advert of course asked 2,000 UK adults if they fart in front of their partner why weird weird story to come up with the findings the site spokesman Charlie Shakespeare said of the study our research shows that couples are letting rip at the drop of a hat he went on whether they do it to be to be annoying to be rude or even to break the ice after a row letting off seems to be something people do to communicate their moods bad or good older couples fart the most in front

of their partners with 25% of those aged 59 doing it Wow is this true I don't know this is new to me new to me let's have a look at and I don't know where she's been on TV show I'm really not sure okay yes so where else welcome to okay here's James Kabuta's wild weekend so this is like a showbiz thing her last album was all about her romance with Ben Affleck so it's no surprise Jennifer Lopez is keen to move on and quick I thought they were back together

JLo is dropping a bold new pop sound following their split and has reached out to songwriters hoping for a hit forget movies JLo in set needs a new banger I thought they were back together yeah I'm so so devastated stars collab saves the day I can't read that and which winged winged star Megan a high-flyer perhaps Megan three stallion what Megan the stallion should be the butterfly judged by her metamorphosis the rapper confirms a new chapter of her music career dubbed act 2 will arrive next week just months after the

release of her first self-titled album the Houston hottie shares a shot in a white bodysuit at butterfly wings open behind her for what is expected to be a whole new sound oh I can't wait and I know she is I'm so out of date I did not know this they come from different pop generations but Mabel and Nina Cherry could not be closer the mother-daughter chart stars are inseparable Mabel said Mabel said we love to cook together shopping been watching TV Wow I did not know that Mabel was Nina Cherry's

daughter didn't know that didn't know that did not I do now now all I got to do is figure out who Mabel is a hip remixer from Kent is that Aussie sounds like this man's from Brett Gary Barlow there was a housemate in the big brother house he looked just like Gary Barlow serious no one mentioned it no one even brought it up it's like how could you not see Gary boy a young Gary Barlow standing there it's like if you just start singing then they want to like click but

no then my friend said but it's not actually got Gary Barlow is it I said what do you mean she said well if it was Gary Barlow he starts singing people say oh it's Gary Barlow but he's not gonna start singing cuz he isn't Gary Barlow unless he starts singing a different song I said no he could still see a Gary Barlow song do you mean I take that song or Gary Barlow song but take that would be more likely now Gary Barlow has had you know singles on his own

in albums he's written music and released songs as a like a solo artist name one name one song just one name one song go on name one name one name one okay I can't so be a take that song yeah that would make sense I guess okay but he didn't Gary Barlow got nostalgic for vinyl after revisit and take that's everything changes LP a special edition of it was created for yesterday's National Album Day and Barlow said we used to be able to have great fun with product well we used

to be able to have great fun with product it was something you used to treasure and collect making the sleeves fold out posters different vinyl color vinyl so it was great fun to be able to do that this year I think it's the perfect product the first bit doesn't make sense though we used to be able to have great fun with product with the product maybe everyone is going country these days even Ringo Starr the Beatles legend do they need to mention Beatles at this point everyone anyone that knows who

he is knows he was in the Beatles and anyone who doesn't know who he is is not going to be interested in reading about him that's my theory it's like you don't have to say Paul McCartney former Beatle it's Paul McCartney if you're brackets you know one of the most famous musicians in the world anyone that doesn't know who Paul McCartney is I mean is people going to think oh the Beatles who are they I just mentioned a bit I've heard the beat I'm gonna have to check them out you

know there are probably people who don't know who the Beatles are I'm talking like human level maybe even adults it's harder to imagine in my head that there would be people don't know who Elvis Presley is but there are it's just there's certain people that eclipse music Michael Jackson the Beatles Elvis Presley Whitney Houston Madonna Prince you know there's these artists that were just absolute megastars I mean the Beatles and Elvis Presley and Michael Jackson pretty much at the top of the list I would say I mean the Beatles no

one released as many no one had as many top ten hits as the Beatles no one I don't think any single solo artist has been excess as successful as Elvis we're very solemn right now and I it's a very solemn conversation but then I'm thinking you know back in the day you know talking about 60s 50s even like 1956 57 when Elvis was first kind of rising or was it 54 I don't know but it was I think about it was like middle 50s or whatever I think it was 57

anyway he imagine there was a lot of people that didn't care for him wasn't weren't interested he was a controversial figure for a while and probably a whole generation of older people maybe in their 40s 50s 60s 70s 80s 90s they were completely clueless to who he was didn't know he was and lived their whole life without ever being interested or caring they may have heard his name but that was it because it was mainly the young kids the teenagers that fell for him and then I think his audience grew

up with him and I love him I love Elvis Presley I will always love Elvis Presley always I will I just can't help it I love love his voice love his songs everything about Elvis I love the Beatles but I like lots of things I'm very I am quite eclectic really I like different things I can sometimes I like to listen to stuff that I've never heard before Oh Del Boy was not dodgy well you know what he was Del Boy was not dodgy Del Boy only fools Norse is funny

character legend on TV but he was dodgy in the show hearts in the right place yeah but only when it came to his brother or his family his heart wasn't in the right place when it came to any of his friends he would sell someone a car with no brakes how is that not dodgy and he did that in one of the shows sold a bloke car with no brakes I mean if you did that today you go to prison for a long time for doing that if they ended up

having an accident so the character was dodgy but character was also funny but I'd say a little bit heartless at times dodgy as anything the two dodgiest characters basically Arthur Daly and Del Boy both dodgy in their own way and they should have got together and done a special like a one-off special the two of them together just meeting the two like Minder and only fools Norse is meeting it would have been so good if it had been written properly it would have been like a real special event because they'd

just be trying to rip each other off and you had you'd have Terry McCann would be trying to get in the middle trying like trying to sort it out and Rodney you'd be like dithering around and everything and obviously see Rodney trying to act tough as well when they first meet when he first meets Terry saying I'm Del Boy's I'm Del Boy's bouncer that'd be funny most brilliant character brilliant show love it but he was dodgy you can't argue that when it was he was a dodgy and if you call

someone Del Boy that is a term for being dodgy because they would sell you even my friend someone I cared about he I told him I had something that didn't work and he said oh let's try and sell it on the market I said it doesn't work he said so I said it doesn't work not gonna sell it to someone for them to go home and even if it's only 20 quid it's just wrong I don't know no it does matter no John Lennon's first of John Lennon's another one John

in the first of Vox amp is expected to fetch around 200 grand at auction the 1962 model was used on stage blah blah blah right see this is quite this has been a lot easier on my emotions this this newspaper because they're not talking so much about some of the other stuff in the world it's just a little bit insomniac insomniac what the hell is that insomniac has confirmed Marvel's spider-man 2 gets no additional story content I don't know what that it's about it takes two studio hazel light started teasing

a new co-op game I don't know what they're talking about I don't know it all makes Jane I was games by games okay is we go gardening we can skip that I was going to come through I wanted to see the what's it didn't I where is it I wanted to see my star signs where's my star signs it's a weirder you almost know that you know when like a big celebrity leaves the planet and they're all like oh you know newspapers are being all kind and respectful you know that

within a week or two they'll be dishing the dirt they'll start going into like what was that person really like they were the opposite with Princess Diana this there's no there's no there's no star sign I can't believe that it's ruined my life where's the star sign there's no star sign sport and this is sport no it's possible is at the back sport blimey really they're really pushing out this story okay no star sign all I ever wanted was a star sign is that to all no no no no no

no this it's at the back so the right at the back word search no not word search star sign no not puzzle planet puzzle planet puzzle planet puzzle planet no puzzle planet puzzle planet no no star sign or yep no soap stars TV there's a lot of stuff in there oh got it I found it with Russell Grant there's a picture him from 30 years ago Russell Grant Virgo right you are going to have to rely on your problem-solving skills when a project runs into difficulties quitting is not the solution

but you may need to invest a huge amount of time into this venture that's annoying because that actually is quite on the ball about let's have a look see what other newspapers might have the star sign so we've done the male the star so I'm gonna skip I'm gonna do the mirror and I'm gonna skip straight through to the star signs straight through come on load up please load up load up load up oh load up man okay come on come on star sign star sign star sign come on oh

got it no music Oedipus star sign with Russell Grant it's a different newspaper this is the Sunday mirror okay Virgo is this the right day Sunday Sunday the 20th okay you always knew that you would stand out in a group you're joining but you're still joining full of hope that you will be welcomed what you will not have been expecting is how quickly you will be taking on a prominent position your skills are appreciated and respected by others the same person who did the last one but it's a different horoscope

that doesn't seem right well let's have a look what the next one is that was a Sunday mirror let's do the Sunday people read okay there's some of these newspapers are owned by the same companies the same newspaper place oh is this the same one I've already done this one done the mirror yeah I think I have I don't know they all started to look the same to me all starting to look the same where's really yeah Wow this really is it's like they just got the same newspaper just changed

it around a little bit Wow a lot of shoe adverts I'm not complaining I love shoes and star signs star signs star signs Wow you are going to have to rely on your problem-solving skills when a project runs into difficulties quitting is not solution but you may need to invest a huge amount of time and effort into this venture now that is something I've already done before so I've done the star done the mirror done the people okay so Sunday Express does that have a does that have an a thing

a star signs it might have you never know it's a little bit more upmarket but we'll see we will see let's have a look Oh Emily attack it's weird she was in a the in-betweeners but she wasn't like one of the main characters but she was a girlfriend of what kind of a semi girlfriend of one of the stars but she's gone on to be quite a bit of a star after that in more recent years gladiator to wonder what gladiator 2 will be like I know there's any point to

it might be really good it looks to me like there might be a star sign in this one because it's very similar to some of the other ones it looks like they might well be let's have a look I'd like to be a star sign person just maybe fun I think this is very sad on sale now also available from Amazon WH Smiths and local news agents put together a unique tribute to a modern pop icon £6.99 glossy mag it's been like three days come on people four days three four

days I mean now they're trying to make money off of it it was £4.99 come on so where is it come on you can where's the star signs star signs where are you hiding now I've got to the end of it so I need to go back there has to be some star signs this is ridiculous I mean there's nothing more important in a newspaper than star signs we all know that why are we pretending otherwise where are you star signs I miss you can't find it nope no star signs

that's very very disappointing I don't think I've ever been so disappointed in my life I now it's got here saying Jane Simmons discovers that pounding the pavements could be doing your health more harm than good with air pollution in you so they're saying jogging is bad for you exercise is bad for you I mean I personally wouldn't jog in a place where there's lots of cars not because of the pollution and just I don't I don't want distract the drivers with my sexy legs my perp bum wobbling around I can't

see I can't find nothing I can't find now never mind I think I've probably covered enough I don't think there's any others ever star signs and less and less and less and less Wales on Sunday let's see if they've got star sign if there's our star signs who's that man wrongly accused okay just gonna go through this Wales on Sunday don't know where that's based metal metal defector parking right and I said stood there but had been okay right so where is it come on where's the star signs Oh Russell

Grant Russell Grant again right so I've read already read two of his this is third the third one he's been in Sarasota Virgo you always knew that you would stand out in a group you are joining but you are still joining full of hope that you will be welcomed what you will not have been expecting is how quickly you'll be taking on a prominent position your skills are appreciated and respected by others admittedly it's a little bit similar to the other one because you do talk about joining a group and

not sure if I'd be you know welcome or I feel welcome now it's saying I will do it's also saying for more information call oh oh nine oh five seven eight nine four two seven six only eight pence a minute oh dadada if you're Aries that's good there's plenty of enjoyment and relaxation be found in most areas of your life right now if you feel in pressure at work things are starting to get easier your friendships are a source of happiness and there is a less tension in family relationships cool

that was someone else's though so it's not mine one day if there's any other any other now I've covered all the Sunday papers unless unless do they have national new papers on Sunday the people the mirror Sunday Express about America search in category newspapers but surely USA newspapers actually no if I go back to local newspapers cancel newspapers but then you've got region by region so let look at Midlands the Sunday Mercury okay let's have a look at the Sunday Mercury in the Midlands and let's find out there's this you

know it's mugshots for like people are being put in prison and stuff really smile today I guess this still is do you think they're not allowed to smile bit like a passport photographs you're not allowed smiling those are we do they just like no we're gonna keep doing it until you frown I did see one day some bloke I don't know what he's arrested for but he was gleaming like absolutely very happy with himself it was just because they use those photographs if someone goes missing then they like if they

if they kind of escape I just thought how funny they put this picture on there I'm looking for this person Harris adds heavyweight name to bill some serious beef has been added to the Unleashed show at Best Scott Stadium on November the 16th big hit in heavyweight Matty Harris a Coventry Colossus who work he stands 6 foot 8 inches tall is one of the two top contenders have been included in the stacked Sadler's Bill the 24-year-old signed to promotion powerhouse Wasserman Boxing has bounced back from his first career loss with

back-to-back wins against Ameen Bochetta and Yuri he did lose who did lose to I can't remember Matty Harris I'm gonna have to check this I have to check it might have been a points thing because when boxes first start their professional career they let's say some boxes are they're not they're just like learning how to the trade like as far as professional because it's supposed to be very different from amateur and also not all boxes are like you know quick to get started and for example some some boxes get out

boxed for the first few rounds knowing every one of their fights Tank Davis I'd say even Canelo probably gets out box in the first few rounds of his fights so if that was their first fight when Canelo for pretty much anyone of his last four or five fights he would have lost that fight if it was a four round fight now undoubtedly he wouldn't have fought like that it was a four round fight but because the blokes boxing genius pretty much Virgo so this is the Sunday Mercury you always knew

that you would stand out in a group you are joining but you're still joining full of hope that you will be welcomed okay so it's basically exactly the same as the other one okay Matty Harris so I need to check that Matty Harris Matty Harris Matty Harris Matty Harris oh that's weird Matty Harris that's very strange let's have a look boxrec.com okay he did did he did he he lost he got knocked out he got knocked out by according to this okay I'm not going to say this is a vertibatum

or whatever he got beaten by Konstantin Dovbyeshchenko in June last year I vaguely remember that well but Dovbyeshchenko down from right in the second round as well so it's kind of back and forth but Matty Harris got knocked out wow that's quite unusual for a young fighter especially heavyweights one two three four five six it was only a six fight one two three four five it was a sixth fight so that's very unusual that that happened it doesn't I mean yes that's quite unusual actually blimey I have to check that

out I don't know you know much about what happened there my insights what is it just have a look at the stats for today so far oh that's all right let's go out there go into the other one sign in to that one never do it a bit baby baby baby it's three minutes past 10 o'clock yeah it's not not being super super busy on the old podcast today is a Sunday though so that's kind of expected it's a Sunday's always a little bit slower not always just sometimes so I'm

getting yeah it's quite it's up till seven o'clock I've had I've had three thousand and five plays so far today so yeah it's it's quite weird because a week ago was that Sunday Saturday Friday Thursday Wednesday Tuesday Monday Monday 9400 Tuesday 8332 Wednesday 6823 Thursday 7001 Friday 3579 so it's just gone down it's gone down Saturday 3889 Sunday 3005 it's gone down ill I hope it picks up again tomorrow otherwise I'll be concerned about my career career oh so this is probably the end of this here recording so I'm gonna

go thank you ever so much for listening and yeah so thank you for listening please remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy lots of love bye we have the door just clicked for some reason that's strange