(music) #1216 Unfocused babble - Let Me Bore You To Sleep (16th October 2024)

Hello and welcome to Let Me Bore You To Sleep. My name's Jason Newland. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes.

This is, it's Wednesday the 16th of October 2024. So I'm not sure what to call this one. Because I've got different names for at least five days a week.

Different names of the podcasts. So there's Monday's Boring Objects, or Boring Objects, Monday Boring Objects, Trivia Tuesday, Healing Thursday, Q&A Friday, and Sunday Papers. So Saturday and Wednesday.

I haven't got one yet. I was thinking, I wasn't using a lot of my brain, but I was thinking of perhaps having a weekly university study. So Wednesday degree thing.

I don't know, just like an update on how my degree course is going on my Open University course. So I'm going to talk about that today. And I might, I might actually do that.

That might be what I'll do is a weekly update on how the course is going. I can go online and talk about some of the things I've been learning about. And because I will probably be talking about the degree course anyway, you know, in other recordings.

But this could be the just once a week where I actually talk about this. How? Yeah, maybe I was we'll see. But so Wednesday, university update.

Maybe I'll call it that. I don't know. So just to let you know that I do six versions now of each podcast.

There's recording without music, five hours and 10 hours without music. There's the recording with music in the background and five and 10 hours with music. I upload all of those to the podcasts.

The BBB, I have a website called jasonnewland.com, where I all of my most of my back catalog is available. So there's thousands of recordings, which you can download. And every day I do a new recording, I make all six recordings available to download for free on my website.

And also on the first page, you'll see the recording without music that you can stream embedded and also the video. So that brings me to YouTube. Every day I do a new video where I make it 10 hours long without music.

And it's about there's about 10 seconds of an image and then it's a black screen for the rest of the 10 hours. So that's on the YouTube channel. And the only other thing really is my Facebook group, which is Jason Newland's Boring Group.

So feel free to join. It's a good place to ask me questions. And you know, I mean, every Friday, I do a Q&A Friday, and I offer you offer members of the group, Jason Newland's Boring Group, offer an opportunity to ask me questions.

And every week, I get more questions for the Q&A Friday. And I've been doing the Friday one for probably five months now, six months, maybe. I can't believe it's still going.

You know, I thought I might get a few questions on the very first one, which was in the summer. It might have even been before the summer. And probably was, yeah, maybe March, February, March, maybe April.

And I didn't expect to get questions every week. I thought there'd be one week where I just didn't get any questions. And I thought, okay, that'll be the end of my Q&A Friday.

But yeah, I'm quite pleased how it's gone. So I've just posted. Just have a look at my Facebook page.

I did post it to see if I've got any new people added. So it's quite a small group. It's only 195 people on my group.

Just to let you know, if you search for just my name, you might come across a different group, which is like the jasonnewland.com support group. If you just ignore that, because I don't go in there anymore, not for about three years. But there was a notice on there just to say, click, you know, go to the Jason Newland's boarding group.

Because I added someone earlier that applied to be a member to that one. I didn't realize because I don't go on there anymore. So anyway, have I had any questions? I've had three questions.

Three questions so far. So that's good. I posted a few hours ago.

So I had three questions. And it's only Wednesday. So I still got the whole of tomorrow before I do the Q&A Friday.

So I was just literally just looking through the internet. And I put in, what did I put in? How to copyright psychology books free download. That's the what I put into Google.

Actually, no, Microsoft Bing. And I found a website that actually you can download free books. I mean, I guess that's what I'm looking for.

But I just didn't think there would be quite a lot that are free. Not only free to download, but free to use. So I could sit here and read the whole book.

Don't worry, I'm not going to. But I could sit here and read the whole book and out loud. And be legally fine to do that because it's copyright free to use in any way I want.

So that's got me slightly interested. Because, because I use a thing called what is it called speakly? Speakly. I've got my phone here, I should be able to look it up.

Let's have a look. I've been using it anyway. And it's really, really speechify speechify.

It's really made a difference. I've been listening to the textbook that I've got for my course been listening to it's been reading it reads it reads you the PDF file. Don't say that too quickly.

P d f. And it reads it here, it can read a book, read Kindle books, things like that. So I mean, it's it costs a little bit of money every week, I don't know, or month, I don't know how much it is. But it's phenomenal.

I wish there'd been something like this around when I was doing my degree course before, you know, back in 2007. I mean, there was speak out loud software on a laptop. But it was a computer.

It would talk like this. And then it would be that. You know, it was just this one, although it's not perfect.

I'm not looking for perfect. It's, it's good enough. You know, the problem is, because it's reading a book, it reads out the numbers of the book, and then it reads out the title, it reads out references, stuff like which you don't particularly want to hear out loud.

But it does read, and sometimes the sentences are broken. And so it's not as smooth as maybe hearing someone else read. I say that, but I don't feel I've ever been read a book to before.

Not by human. I mean, I have, but not like in person. I mean, not maybe since I was, I don't even know if I did get any books read to me.

I might have done. I don't know. I can't remember.

I might, maybe I did. I mean, where did I get my, my love of books and my love of talking? Where did I get that from? Yeah. I was in the park today, and there's two people talking.

There was one person, I was talking to her, then another person, but like these are dog walkers, another dog walker comes along, starts talking. And I go to say something, and they ignore me. Because I'm just like, wait, am I not being heard here? Because I was so slow in what I was saying, that they couldn't wait for me to get the sentence out.

It was like, okay, and they just carried, they carried on talking. Because in that environment, I don't talk very quickly. I think it's a little bit like when I was probably at home when I was a kid, because we had had three brothers.

Everyone's kind of, I think it was almost like, you see the little babies, little babies in a nest, and they're all fighting to get the worm from the mother who's been hunting or whatever. And it's the greediest one, the loudest one, the one with the biggest mouth, the one that's pushing everyone else to the back that gets the worm. Which would explain why I was so little.

Because I had two older brothers that always got stuff before me. And then my little brother was born, and he just automatically got stuff before me. So I just all got listened to first.

Or I don't know, it's hard to explain. But I just, I think I gave up trying to be heard, because it was very difficult. And it was no one's fault.

It's just, if you got two, one four years older, one two years older, louder than me, or one was louder than me. He, I suppose they probably both were, the little one was, the baby was louder than me as well. I kind of didn't really feel heard.

And in some ways, in a weird kind of a way, maybe I've never really felt heard in my interactions with people. And it's not that I think or feel that I've got something listenable to say. I don't think this is necessarily going to be a worthwhile adventure listening to my words.

But it's, it took years for me to get to the point where I even started to believe that what I, what I had to express was, or my, my beliefs or my opinions were just as valid as anybody else's. Because I was, I was kind of led to believe, or maybe I just believed it myself, based on the people I was around, that they were the intelligent ones.

They were the ones whose views I should have.

And because I used to spend quite a bit of time with much older people, older men usually, during my, blimey, teen years, or not all the time, but there was periods when I was around older men, like 18, 19, 20, even during my 20s, where they would, and because they were quite, they're like 20 odd years older than me, 15, 20 years, they, I don't know, they took on like a father figure, or like a telling me what I should think, and how I should, what I should, you know, what I should believe in or whatever.

And perhaps, yeah, if I'd have spent more time as a teenager, or when I left school rather, if I spent more time around people my own age, but I didn't really spend that much time, because of like the lifestyle I had. I was a mermaid, that's why, that's what I mean.

I lived in the sea, didn't see many people. I wasn't a mermaid. Why did they say I was a mermaid? I'm a man.

So I used to question myself. It's only as I started to get a little bit older, and I started to, my BS detector started going off, you know, it's like, do do do do do do do. This sounds like it might not be true.

And I started noticing inaccuracies. And I got this for some reason, not all the time, but for some reason, people will tell me something. And I generally, I'll listen, but that's it.

It's not, you know, it takes quite a bit to get my, blimey, I just had some creepy crawly crawl on my, on my, on me. I wonder if that's from Vinnie. Blimey, let's say he's got fleas.

How could he have fleas in October? He's gone through the whole of summer, hasn't had, yet last year, sorry mate, last year, he had lots of bits and bobs on him. But this year, he hasn't had anything. So he had, I think he caught fleas, and he had bugs, and I had to get stuff for him, and I had to debug the carpets and everything.

But this year, nothing. Just now, I had something crawling on my arm. Well, it was more my wrist, which is your arm, isn't it still? I mean, your fingers are your hand, aren't they? Like, you can't say hand and there's a fingers.

I mean, they are separate, but they're still part of the same thing. What I started to notice about myself is, I'd listen to someone's story, or something that they said. And I just forget about it, generally.

Until they said something different. As an example, someone, let's say they're talking about, oh, we went out and this happened, and we went to the pub first, and then we went to a nightclub, and then we got a taxi home. So if they tell me, it might not be, it might be like in three years time, they say, yeah, we went to the nightclub first, and we went to the pub.

Something might go off in my brain, like, and I remember what they previously said. And I don't necessarily want to remember it, because it's not important to me. Genuine, genuine, yeah, not really.

And I start to notice that stuff. It's like, why am I noticing this? What possible use is it for me to notice when someone's, not necessarily telling fibs, but they might be remembering it differently. I mean, there's studies, oh no, he's going to talk about psychology studies again.

There's studies that showed that our memories aren't particularly good anyway, as human beings. We mix things together. We remember things in a way that fits in with our view of the world.

We just, you know, it's, it's different. It's different for everyone, but it's not necessarily verbatim. Yeah.

So yeah, I was, I don't know why I'm talking about this. I've got no idea. What's this got to do with my university course? I don't know.

So yeah, I found these books online. The Science of Nature, a Human for Psychology, no, Psychology for Beginners by William Henry Pyle. There's all these different books, so it's kind of interesting.

But you know what I've noticed? And I've done this before, and I'm realizing, kind of realizing that I do it. I didn't, perhaps I didn't know I did it before, is I, I wander off. Now you might laugh thinking, yeah, we noticed that.

I don't mean, I don't mean in a kind of a verbal way, but I seem to have a need to explore. I guess it's a bit like the internet, you know, when the internet started, when it's, when it became useful, when it became interesting, you know, when there was lots and that, you know, you could spend all day looking through it and be amazed at what you found.

The internet's not quite like that anymore, is it? But it had a novelty factor.

And for me, this was around 1998. And I just loved the internet. When I first discovered it, 99, 2000, whatever, you know, this is when I really, those years were the, they were the internet years for me.

And I just blew my mind, all this stuff. Like, where does it come from? It just, from nowhere. It, what? So yeah, I, it's weird, it's such a long time ago, though.

Such a long time. I remember I was sitting in the office upstairs in the comedy club, and the manager comes in, and I'm just gushing, like, I love the internet. There was something about it, I just loved.

And I'd fallen in love with it. It was just something that I kind of been waiting for my whole life. And if the internet had been around when I was at school, I would have embraced it.

I didn't see the point in computers before the internet arrived. I'll be honest with you. I mean, I do do stuff without the internet on my computer.

You know, editing, video editing, audio editing, reading books, my voice is going croaky for some reason. Let's have some water. So there's a video books, and I think I had too much water, I better spit some out.

Oh, that's better. That was weird, what did I do that for? I didn't really spit it out. It didn't sound, it was a very convincing spit.

So I, I had a computer, my first ever computer in 19, 1990, I think it was 1998. Or was it 19, 1997, 98. And I didn't do anything with it.

But I had it and I thought, well, I've got a computer now. There's one of those big ones with a back, you know, it's like big old, just chunky, a very chunky computer. And I don't know if it wasn't like top of the range, but it was a fairly decent one.

I think it cost about, bloody, I don't remember, I was paying for it for about two years. I didn't have any internet. And at this point, I didn't really, I'd only kind of discovered the internet.

And for some reason, I thought it was only really available in the office. It was weird, weird kind of idea. But nobody had the internet that I knew.

And it was, it was something that I looked at when I was in the comedy club. They let me go in the office and I can just play around on it and stuff and just explore and it was good. And then I think in 99, I got a telephone line in my room.

And I connected to the internet for the first time. For myself. Wow.

Wow. It was lovely. But it's very, very slow.

Now, the internet in my friend's business, the office, it was quicker because they paid more money for it because they were using it for their work, for the business. It wasn't like hugely faster, but it was at least twice as fast because they had a business line and stuff. My internet, so slow.

I mean, really, it took, sometimes it took like two, three minutes for just an image to upload or to open up rather. Technically, it's download, isn't it? But, you know, it was weird. But I loved it.

It's just such a, so new and it started to get faster. The websites started to be made in a way that they could just open up faster than cache. I didn't know about caches at the time, but so the computers were saving stuff so it could open up a website you visited regularly without having to go through the whole process of each individual page opening up.

And I just thought, this is amazing. So amazing. And I remember, because I tried to do, so I'm bringing it back.

This is good of me. I'm bringing it back to the subject now. I'd started a degree in psychology at the Open University in about 1998, 1999.

See? Blimey. How many years ago is that? I now literally just started it. So that was when it was free.

You know, I could have done, I could probably have had, I don't know, three or four degrees without paying for it, had I known. You know, I could have, I could have started a degree when I was nine, when I was 20, 18, 19, 20. I could have done a degree with the Open University.

Had my first one by the time I was 26, done another one, had that one by the time I was 32, done another one, and so on. And I just didn't have that confidence or that belief that I'd be able to accomplish it. But I did, I started an access course, which was going to lead to me to do a degree, because I had no qualifications when I left school.

And the access course, it kind of covered a few basic things like maths and English to get me up to speed. It was like, it was a way into a degree course for those people that weren't allowed to do it because of lack of qualifications. So I wasn't, I wasn't able to go to an actual university building until I went through the access course.

But the Open University didn't require qualifications. It still doesn't. I mean, it does if you're going for a master's, you need to have an undergraduate first.

And if you're going to do a PhD, you need to have, I'm guessing you need to have a master's. But you know, there's those, but as far as doing an undergraduate course, you, you don't need to have A-levels or GCSEs or is it AS levels now I think they're called. Because when I left school, it was CSEs, O-levels.

So there's, those are two main ones. CSEs, A-levels for sixth form. So I was in high school, it was the first year, second year, third year, fourth year, fifth year, then sixth form.

So it wasn't called the sixth year, sixth form. Now the years are different and I still can't get my head around it, but it's different for kids. So like year five, we used to say fifth year, first year, second year, and then I go year seven, year nine.

And I don't know what those years are. So I, oh, but I don't need that message to me, by the way. I don't care what, I can ask.

I do know someone that goes to school, but my friend's, my neighbor's daughter, she tried to explain it to me. So I'm in year seven and I'm going to be year like, I still can't grasp. I understand why it would be good to start a year one and to continue it when you get to high school, rather than starting a year one again.

I just found it, that's just how it was back then. So that's, that's all I know really. And because I haven't had any kids, I haven't had to like learn the new way.

So the, yeah, so for the first, second year of school, it was just standard stuff. And I think in the third year, we started choosing subjects, chose like subjects that we wanted to try out. And then in the fourth and fifth year, we had, we had to choose a subject that we were going to do exams in.

So I chose, I don't know if you could choose different subjects. I can't remember. It's a few years ago now, a few months.

I chose cooking, or it was called home economics back then. Not home economics back then, but home economics back then, you know, wasn't, yeah. And whatever one, drama, drama, I chose drama, drama, home economics.

And I think that might have been it. I might have chosen RE. I'm not sure if we had to do RE anymore after the second year.

But I'm thinking maybe we did. Maybe not after the third year. But I chose RE.

I think I'm a little bit dubious as to whether what I'm saying is correct. And I realise it doesn't, doesn't necessarily matter. But you know me, I don't like to lie.

Not much. So definitely drama and home economics. Now I've done cooking right from the time I could.

So I was, I don't know if we did cooking in the first or second year. I can't remember. But I definitely did it third, fourth and fifth year.

And I didn't examine it. And I didn't, didn't get so good. Didn't really do very well.

Didn't do very well in any of my exams. Failed at all of them, I think. I used to joke, you know, when I went to job interviews, I said, how, what marks did you get? I said, I got unbelievable, unbelievable for all of my, all of my grades for all my exams.

Unbelievable. And I'd show them the paper, the exam marks. It said, I remember one saying, you does not stand for unbelievable.

It's unclassified. So basically didn't, didn't even get a mark. I didn't turn up for some of the exams.

And some I did turn up for. And the ones I liked were the multiple questions, because I could just tick random answers. Didn't even, didn't even read the questions.

Because we were allowed to leave as soon as the bell went. So the bell would be every what, 40 minutes or 20 minutes or something. So every time, yeah, 20, I don't know.

But every time the bell went, we could leave if we'd finished the exam. So me and my, one of my friends, we had a contest to see who could finish the exam quick enough so we could get out. Now in reality, I could have just walked out.

But because I was so used to being in that environment where constantly being told what to do. And the fact is, I went back to school, haven't already left to do the exams. So I didn't need to go, which I figured out in the end, like, why am I turning up for this? When all I'm going to do is just mess it up anyway.

I don't know if I tried. I might have tried in the English exam. I'm not sure.

I really can't remember. I think I might have even tried in the history exam. Because one of the questions I found interesting.

So I might have done that. I've even got a memory. This is really weird.

I've got a memory of me sitting because I had a spread out and I think on this because I had one, one of the halls had a big stage. And I think I was actually sitting on a desk on the stage. It was a big stage.

It was probably about 30 of us or whatever sitting on the stage on the little desk things. Doing history, answering history questions. Wow.

So there was O levels and G and CSEs. They then basically put them together to make GCSEs. In I think it was in the early 90s.

Well, I did a few GCSEs. No, I didn't do any GCSEs. Did I do GCSEs? I didn't do any CSEs.

No, I did, I think. But for maths, I did City and Guilds, which is possibly the lowest type of exam possible at the time. City and Guilds, that's the kind of thing you get for welding.

City and Guilds for builders and stuff. So I wasn't even at the level to be allowed to do CSE for maths. And I just, I just had this memory of actually trying to do the exams.

I've got like two memories. Three now, because I remember the four. Just thinking the history one, the English one.

So I've got two that I remember sort of actually trying to do it. Then I got a memory of another one where I was trying to do it, which was the maths. Thinking, oh, I've got this fraction sorted out, but then yeah, didn't quite go to plan.

There's those. But I also remember at least once, maybe twice, sitting in another hall. Even remember where the door was.

It was facing that way and the door was to the right. And literally just, it was a multiple choice, just ticking random ones. And then just waiting to leave as soon as the bell went.

Why did I wait? Should have just gone, should have just left. I still have dreams today. Not today, but you know, still dreaming about being at school and escaping, getting out of there.

Because yeah, I didn't, didn't, didn't love it, if I'm honest, didn't love it. I really liked junior school. 100%.

Not every aspect of it, especially not French. Why are you just trying to learn English? Why are you trying to teach us another language? It's too late. Don't you know, you've got to do it really early in life.

It's much harder now. I'm like 11 or 10. You should have done it when I was like a baby.

And I didn't say that at all, I don't know. But that is actually apparently true. Once you get to three, after the age of three, learning a new language is much harder.

It's doable, obviously. But it's much easier. Because we're born with all those.

You may be wondering, am I really gonna be talking about psychology forever now? Is that all I'm going to be referring back to? I don't know. I can't guarantee either way. But bearing in mind this particular recording is kind of focused on my university course.

And that university course is psychology. So I guess I'm going to be probably talking about that on a Wednesday, maybe if I do stick to the Wednesday recordings. But I don't know really.

I tell you what I've really noticed though. Which is how I started talking about this is I started mentioning this and I managed to get sidetracked, which is unlike me. The I keep getting tutorial messages from Open University.

It's weird though, because I won't read it out. But the headline is two to group forum, RE week three session. Then it says COVID-19 discussion.

It's got nothing about that. And about the thing 19. It's just clearly they had that as a, as a title, and they just not changed the title.

So I'm guessing actually from years ago. What I've noticed is with the course, actually, I'll open up just to show it to you, not show it to you, but to kind of go through it with you. Because it's something that I'm you know, I mean, I'm a bit like, challenging.

I think the whole thing is a little bit challenging to be fair. But if I just go to the students thing, I'm still trying to figure out how to use the portal. Genuinely, not finding it easy.

I realized that I'll probably laugh at that in a year's time or three years time. Like I remember when you found it difficult to even find your way around the student home and but I do, I do find it difficult. Because it is not.

I personally don't find it user friendly. That's because I don't know how to use it. Once I know how to use it, maybe I will find it user friendly.

Because I'm just looking at the this is the, so if we go into the Open University, right? You've got so I've got in front of me, I'm not gonna read anything that would be, I get in trouble for, I just don't want to get kicked off the course because I've told people stuff about the course. But this is just standard for all university courses. So it's a top it says BSc honours psychology.

So bachelor's of science, honours, in brackets psychology. And it's got book your tutorial, tutorials for E104, which is the name of the course I'm doing. Which again, that's all public knowledge.

So online, so it's the E104 is, what's E104? Choose your modules. Stage one, select. Oh, my next one is complete group complete 60 credits selected.

So I've already got our introduction to childhood studies and child psychology. So I'm on that one introduction. So that's E104.

My next module is called encountering psychology. So I'm just going to select that because that is right, that's the No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I made a mistake.

That was first of February. That's no good. I don't want to.

I can't start the next one into after I finished this one. That wasn't supposed to happen. I wonder if it let me take it back.

I should be able to cancel it. So I've got, but that is the next one that I book on encountering psychology in context. I really should look at things before I tick them.

Which takes me back to me randomly ticking boxes and the multiple questions. Or multiple choice questions. This module offers an accessible and engaging introduction to classic and contemporary psychological theory and research applied to a broad range of real world context.

I wonder if it's still available. In the one I want. Right, I can I can if I can't, they say proceed to checkout.

No, I'll come out of that. And what I'll do is, if I can't get rid of it online, I'll just phone them up. Blimey.

So, so on the first page, BSc Honours Psychology, book your tutorials. So it says their tutorials for E104 are now available. Visit your tutorials and study events to see the dates and make a booking.

So I'll click on that. And I've already done one. I did a tutorial, the 14th, which was two days ago, Monday at seven to 830.

And it was recorded live event. So it's live, but they recorded it. Understanding childhood studies and child psychology, ready for TMA 01.

And the TMA is the first assignment, tutor marked assignment. And your book tutorials. I wonder whatever.

Select a module to book a tutorial. So I click on that, that should show me some more tutorials. I think there's one today, actually, or tonight.

Oh, yeah, understanding childhood. There you go. So okay, so done the 14th, the 16th, which is today.

It's understanding childhood studies and child psychology ready for TMA 01. You know what, it might sound weird, but I'm thinking of just attending all of them until I understand what's going on. Because I'm still not sure what I'm doing yet.

And there is a part of me wants to quit. There is, I'll be, I'll be honest with you, there is. Because I don't necessarily feel like the thing is, right.

I go through different moods. So I'll be enthusiastic, then I'm really the complete opposite to that. And if I, if I take action, when I've been enthusiastic, then good things don't become well, not always, but it is just generally a fairly positive position to be in.

And it also means that I will start things that maybe I don't finish. Because I want to go to the, to a different mood spectrum, where perhaps I'm not enthusiastic or much, much less than. That's when I'm more in that kind of phase of cancelling what I'm doing or undoing what I've already done, or just chucking it away.

You know, so is trying to get a balance somehow, but to not make decisions when I'm in that mode. But sometimes, okay, this is gonna, this might be a weird thing to hear. Sometimes I'm in that enthusiastic mode.

But not positively. Which is a much more, a much harder place to get through. Because that's when I'm really enthusiastic about dropping everything.

Or in the past, let's say, moving. I'll leave all my stuff here and I'll go and live in a room somewhere. Or I'll go and live in a caravan with no heating.

For whatever reason, that seems like a good idea. And or I'm just gonna, I've had enough of the course, I'm just gonna, I'm gonna just get rid of the course. Or I'm gonna phone up and cancel that date that I had booked or whatever.

And then, and it'll feel like a really good idea. Like a really good thing to do. Like when I deleted my YouTube channel.

I was buzzing doing it. I felt great. I'd worked so hard to build it up.

And I was, all I had to do is press a few buttons. And there's one last thing, one last click to get rid of it forever. And I did.

And I felt so excited and so good. But it was not a great thing to have done. And a year or so before I moved in here, I spent two days destroying all my books.

I'm not pleased with that at all. But I, I was having the time of my life doing that. I did the same thing once with my, all my diaries.

I kept journals for years and years, decades. And then one day I just destroyed them all. Or one afternoon and ripped them into little bits.

And playing Bob Dylan music loudly. It's, yeah, it's weird. So I have to kind of, so there's that, it's like a mixed state.

It's like a negative state, but with the energy, like the, like enthusiasm. So yeah, I have to, I have to be careful with that. So I try to, it's a bit too more, bit, bit, bit more serious than normal, isn't it? Sorry.

But I try to step back before making decisions. And I realized a long time ago, even when I was a child, a young child, you know, nine, ten, that I didn't find decisions easy. Even then.

And there's one occasion I just remember, I don't know why, but it just stands out for me. We was on holiday, family holiday to Wales, in a tent. And we didn't travel by tent, we went in the car.

But we were in a tent when we got there. And they were all going out, or we were all going out for the day. Or for the afternoon.

I don't know where, just locally, just for a walk. And I couldn't decide whether or not I wanted a jumper, to wear a jumper. Because it was August time, July time, maybe.

And, you know, being in, it was in Wales, but being in this, this land mass that I live on, is, it's not the most predictable when it comes to temperature, or weather. And Wales is a beautiful, beautiful place. A part of the reason it's so beautiful is because of the rain.

So any place like Ireland, Scotland, and even England, a lot, a lot of England as well, there's, we get a lot of rain. Those places that get the most rain, quite often are the most lush, you know, as far as greenery. And so the weather's a little bit temperamental.

And I couldn't decide if I wanted a jumper or not, like a cardigan, whatever it was. And in the end, the whole family, like my two brothers, my little brother was there, parents, they're like, just make your mind up. I said, I can't decide, I'm not sure what I want to do.

Even my little brother, I mean, I think he was only like two years old, and he was shouting at me. Come on. I don't know what he said.

I couldn't understand him. But he was definitely shouting at me. Make your mind up.

And I said, I think I'll get it. And I got a jumper. And I said, no, I don't want it.

In the end, they left me there. Which would be illegal today, should I add. But they left me there.

Said, okay, we're going without you. You're taking too long. I said, what do you mean? He said, it's been five days.

We've been here five days. I just couldn't decide. Something so simple as that.

I couldn't decide. I could have just wrapped it around my waist and worn it if I needed it. It would have been easy.

Or just carried it, you know. But no, I just did. So I'm not quite sure why I've been like that over the years.

But that's why, I think that's why when I find something that I'm definite about, it gives me a good feeling. You know, it gives me a real sense of groundedness, I think. So when I discovered martial arts, or let's say when I started doing karate, I knew I loved it.

I knew I wanted to do it. There was no question. There was no decisions to be made.

It was, I'm doing this, and that's it. And then everything for the next couple of years was about that in my life. That was all I thought about.

And when I moved to London to do stand-up comedy, that was what I was there for. That wasn't a question. There was no, you know, everything I did was based upon me being able to perform at night in the comedy clubs in London.

And I lived in a cheap, grotty accommodation, had low paid jobs, just so I could focus on the comedy. Wasn't interested in building a career, or building a life, or building some kind of family or anything. All I wanted was to do comedy.

And that, that definiteness lasted for quite a few years. It waned a little bit by about 2004, 2005. You know, but especially this, but 91, 92, 93, probably most of 94.

And then other things kind of happened. And I think a similar thing when I discovered hypnosis. I fell in love with hypnosis.

And it was something that I was interested in, and I became obsessed with it. And then, I suppose, with this, this thing I started, you know, making podcasts. The thing is, I used to put my, I used to make recordings.

That's all I was thinking about, they were all recordings. I was making videos, I was making audios. Posting them on MySpace, to start with.

I didn't know what a podcast was, until I discovered places. They were just places, and I found them, but they were just things I posted my audio recordings on. There wasn't really any such thing as the term being a podcaster, wasn't a thing back then.

And I never really classed it as being what I was doing as an episode. I've had lots of episodes, but it wasn't, it didn't class what I was doing, the recordings, as an episode number. It was just a standalone recording that I hoped would be useful, and I hoped maybe would stand the test of time.

I was wrong, but I was, I wanted them to be standalone recordings, not just listened to and forgotten, which is what they are now. But then, you know, that was when I was doing the hypnosis stuff, and it does seem a little bit weird though, that for every hour, I do an hour and a half, two hours sometimes of talking, that that, it will be listened to, a few thousand people will listen, and then it will just be gone, it'll be forgotten.

It'll still be available, it's still available to download, it's still available to listen to, to stream, but the chances of anyone actually listening to it, in the future, like this one for example, so people listen today, people listen tomorrow, some people listen the day after, you know, and then gradually it'll go down to nothing really.

I'm just trying to think, where can we look at the stats, more stats, stats, stats. Oh, it's hard to tell. Oh, someone posted a comment on one of my recordings, I didn't know that, this is from yesterday.

Evie, this is so calming, your voice makes me so sleepy, thank you so much, I have been getting the best sleep lately, thank you Evie, we reply, you're welcome. It'd be nice if the podcast let me know that I had a message, or a comment. Oh, Tabitha, hey there, been listening to you, I've got another message, I didn't know that was on here, Tabitha, Tabitha, hi Tabitha, when was this from, this is from Tabitha, oh, the Evie one was five hours ago.

OK, right, so the messages, right, you know what I normally get, I normally get in the messages, that's why I don't take much notice of them, it's generally, if I read them to you, see, oh, no, it's not, the messages, hi Jason, I can probably promote your track, hi Jason, with my extensive radio contacts, I can get your, listen to all that stuff.

Oh, this is another one, I didn't realise, this isn't even a real, it's not, it's another one of those messages, but it came across as being real for a second, hey there, I'm listening to your podcast for sleeping deeply, Jason Newland in brackets, set, 10 hours, 150, 1157, Q&A Friday, Let Me Bore You To Sleep, 12th of July 2004, 24 hour, and really enjoyed it, I know those sets take a lot of work to put together, I just came across this new tool that makes creating the SoundCloud sets way easier,

sets, what's he even talking about, so that was, that's not a proper message, Tabitha, that's what I think of you, blimey, but I did get a lovely message though, so that's nice, thank you Evie, cool, I get, and that was a comment, I don't get many comments on a podcast, I wish I did, that'd be lovely, that'd be nice, but I can't see the stats for old recordings to see whether or not people are still listening to them, the only way I could really figure that one out would be to,

um, no, there's no way of doing it, unless I went through all of the recordings and wrote down the numbers, the number of plays I had, and then each day going back and updating the numbers of plays I had, and just seeing, you know, so that, this would be very difficult, I don't know how far people go back as far as to recordings I listen to, I mean some people might still be listening to the Monday Born Objects teabags, that might be one that people still listen to sometimes,

because it was pure gold, but it's, you know, not the teabag company, I don't know, I'm not sure, it's just hard to know really, so, why was I mentioning this for, the stats, I don't normally talk about stats anymore do I, haven't done that for ages, that used to be people's favourite subject in the past, the amount of messages I would get, please, please, please, please, please, please, please Jason, please talk more about your stats, it was inundated, like please we can't get enough of your stats,

I just haven't got around to it for a while, okay let's have a look, let's have a look, so we do the last, oh, do you know my Spreeker, I've still got the Spreeker account open, and I upload three recordings about music on there, every time I do a new recording, and it's kind of a good place to have my backups as well, but I've got the podcast on there, which is Latest Recordings, is the embedded podcast I've got on my website, and the, for the actual page for the pod,

the actual new podcast, there's the recording about music that's on there as well, so that's, that's there, and I was kind of surprised because I was looking at the stats, because that, that took me till about October last year, and if I look at statistics, and this is from 2018 till now, but you know, I get hardly any downloads anymore, on a daily basis on Spreeker, 16 today so far, 28 yesterday, 43 the day before, and okay a few days ago, 2,276, but that was because I had them like a bit different,

so since 2018 on Spreeker, bearing in mind I've not really used Spreeker anymore, not properly as my podcasts since October last year, so I've got 14,974,638 total downloads, so that's plays really, nearly 15 million, it's not bad is it, not bad for a little old me, and then the, the SoundCloud podcast, Hypnosis for Sleeping Deeply, and if I've got all time, so this is since October last year, 2,205,988 plays, so last, in last year 604,286, this year so far 1,601,702, last 30 days 124,169 plays, last 7 days 48,283 plays,

so what is it now, Wednesday, Tuesday, Monday, Sunday, Saturday, Friday, Thursday, so on here I got 4,897 plays on Thursday, Friday 4,478, Saturday 13,257, Sunday 5,421 plays, Monday 9,402 plays, yesterday Tuesday 8,332 plays, and today so far, and it's 4.21pm, 2,496, so this goes all the way up to about one o'clock in the morning, once I upload the new recordings, that's when there's a spike, you know, and people listening, and so for example, the last 24 hours, the spikes have been four o'clock, 4am, 8am, the big spikes is one o'clock,

and then in the evening, like six o'clock, and then 11 o'clock, yeah, so the evening is much busier, but I'm just thinking 12 o'clock, one o'clock, probably, so yesterday at one o'clock, no, yeah, one o'clock, I got 1,190, today at one o'clock, I've had 225 plays, but then yesterday at 10 o'clock, 10am, I had 74 plays, today at 10am, 652 plays, so it's not a complete science to be fair, let's have a look, yeah, so it's kind of, but then yesterday, at one o'clock, one o'clock in the morning, I had 203,

today at one o'clock in the morning, no, no, no, no, no, no, 12 o'clock, 12, 12 o'clock yesterday, 73, no, that's not a good example, that was a really rubbish example, 10 o'clock, 10, yeah, I don't know, it's, we'll see what it's like tonight, but it was, it's busier in the evening than during the day, but there's a big peak, I mean, so far, goes up to one o'clock, so there's still three hours missing, so it doesn't take me up to four yet, it's usually a few hours out of date,

and it's strange how it goes, because sometimes it'd be, you know, literally tiny amount in an hour, like 70 plays, in fact I've got one here, 29 plays, 30, yeah, so really small, and then you get another, another hour, where I get 1280 plays, so it just all depends.

So apparently I'm 29% higher than yesterday, at this time, so it's, er, yeah, so literally over the last 24 hours, I've got 10.8000 plays over a 24-hour period, which is what I was getting before, I was getting, I've, I've had days, blimey, blimey, I've had days, I'll tell you, and in the past, where I've reached, wow, I've, yeah, I'm trying to think what the best day I ever had was, I'm sure I've reached a hundred thousand in a day, like in the past, you know, and pretty sure, anyway, we've got all time, the tracks, wow, do you know what my top tracks I have all time on this podcast?

Do you want to know, anyone? Do you want to guess? Help with addiction, number two, Friends, 10 hours, 14.2000, and I don't know if anyone, this is like from the 1st of February, oh, the second most popular one was 100, 1062, Let Me Bore You To Sleep, 23rd of December, and it's, er, it's Boxing Time, 8642, and the third most popular one so far, since October, is Ordering Vinnie's New Lead, number 1092, Let Me Bore You To Sleep, 29th of March 2024, and I've got Neighbours Deliveries, 20th of May, oh, so that were, the Ordering Vinnie's Lead was 3681, Neighbours Deliveries 3233,

and that was 1127, Let Me Bore You To Sleep, ah, so there's a Q&A Friday in this list, it is, beep, beep, beep, beep, 1137 Q&A Friday, Let Me Bore You To Sleep, 31st of May 2024, and that was week 9, was that May, April, March, yes, so I must have started the Q&A Fridays in March, February, March, so that was 3215 plays, the next one after that is First and Last Dates, 30th of May, and that was number 1136, 2872, oh, Q&A Friday again, Q&A Friday, Q&A Friday,

this one is the 1201, Let Me Bore You To Sleep, 27th of December, 2844, and then I've got another one, this is, oh, there's a few Q&A Fridays in the list, but, to be fair, as it goes down, it's kind of, there's not a lot of difference in numbers, you know, some to the 1700, 1723, meh, meh, meh, so, but the Q&A, Q&A Fridays seem to be, how many is on this list of the top ones, one, two, three, oh, that's not, that's not good, three, three, three, four, so one,

two, two, three, four, five, six, so six, one, two, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 50, six out of 50, but, they're near the top, yeah, Q&A Friday, so basically it's in the top, one, two, three, four, five, six, 10, one, two, three, four, five, six, yeah, so it's in the top 34,

six, six different ones, Q&A Fridays, nine comments, let's have a little listen to these, or let's look at these comments, two comments, well where are the comments then, where are they, comments, nope, it's not showing me, it's not actually giving me the comments, give me the comments man, nope, it won't, it's refusing to give me the comments, I want to see the comments, unless I have to press on the thing, so what I'll do, I'll put it on mute, so I don't start playing a recording, let's have a look at this,

no comments, no it's not, not allowing it, not allowing it, that's not fair, and I deserve that, hmm, 1083 reposts, 957 likes, is 957 likes good for over 2.2 million plays, hmm, I'm not sure, I'm not sure, so let's have a look, all time top listeners, Wanda, so if you're there Wanda, hello, maybe join my Facebook group, say hi, 711 plays, second on the list is Ketchup, 81 plays, so thank you for listening Wanda and Ketchup, Phoenix, 226, 78 plays, thank you, Leah LeDuc, 67 plays, thank you, Jonathan Shellnut,

59 plays, thank you, Jen, 58 plays, thank you very much, Leah, 47 plays, thank you, User415258061, 46 plays, thank you, Eric M, 39 plays, thank you very much, Gregory Philip, 35 plays, thank you, Screaming Gnome, 33 plays, thank you, and I don't know, it's just a bit, it's like a bunch of figures, a rainbow and a hand and a sun, 31, thank you, 31 plays, Rosie, 30 plays, thank you, Wendell Pendel, 30 plays, thank you, DuDunFakBeduck, 27 plays, thank you, Drawchach, 26, thank you, Matrix25, thank you, it's too many,

I can't keep saying, I'm just gonna, I'm gonna read them out, say thank you to everyone, and what other ones are there, Tar, TRDD, TRDD, Rose, Diana, Lil70X, John Brian Price, Tucker, Eli, Diamond Eye, Core, Medlin, Amar, Alazan, Alizmar, Wannabe Artist, Gamal, Samir, Beyond Borders Podcast, Andy Man, Isabelle Filby, Zabii Barraxai, Heavy J, User885015203, Shess, Sheeher, Mohamed, Kenzo, Sama Diab, Kyne, Sayar, Mayo Sui, Heavy J, Poverty Music CEO, MyMXnTall, Evie, JJ Akiai, User, whatever, um, Glory Parker, HolyT05, thank you to all of you for listening.

I just don't know why it's hiding the comments, the comments, I don't know why. It just doesn't seem any reason for them to do that. They're my comments.

Why hide them? Oh well. Well, you want to know what countries are listening? Okay, I can have a look. All countries, top locations.

This is since October. Okay. Comments, it's saying three comments from Bangladesh.

So that's, that's all it's got, but so I need to go, the likes, the comment, whereabouts in the world with likes. United States of America, 1226. Mexico, 15.

United Kingdom, 13. Bangladesh, 13. Hong Kong, 13.

Peru, 10. Poland, 10. France, 9. Côte d'Ivoire, 9. Ecuador, 8. Spain, 7. Egypt, 6. Colombia, 6. Germany, 5. India, 4. Brazil, 4. Venezuela, 4. Chile, 3. Morocco, 3. Pakistan, 3. Belize, 3. Netherlands, 3. Dominican Republic, 2. United Arab Emirates, 2. Uruguay, 2. Turkey, 2. Czech Republic, 2. Finland, 2. Indonesia, 2. Philippines, 2. Argentina, 2. Portugal, Australia, Canada, 2. Kuwait, and the rest of the ones.

What is this, what have I been doing? This is likes. Okay, blimey, that's a lot of countries. And the rest of the ones, Kuwait, Japan, Austria, Ireland, Serbia, Iraq, Belgium, Maldives, Bolivia, South Korea, Greece, Honduras, Senegal, Albania, Ukraine, Italy.

So this is the likes, so go for plays. US, United States is going to be at the top. Yep, one, this is since October.

So it's a year pretty much, isn't it? Yeah, it's a year. 1.08 million. United Kingdom, 381,000.

Australia, 183,000 plays. Come on, where is it? Okay. Turkey, I'm trying to pronounce that correctly, Turkey, Turkey.

168,000. Canada, 104,000. France, 30,000.

Denmark, 28,000. Sweden, 28,000. Ireland, 22,000.

New Zealand, 16.7,000. United Arab Emirates, 15.9,000. Slovakia, 12.8,000. Spain, 12.5,000. Germany, 10.5,000. Cambodia, 9,285. Greece, 8,564. Myanmar, 7,170.

Czech Republic, 6,605. Norway, 5,887. Saudi Arabia, 5,868.

Indonesia, 5,518. South Africa, 5,345. Switzerland, 4,748.

No, 4,798. Jamaica, 4,540. Bahrain, 3,449.

Belgium, 2,943. Singapore, 2,814. Portugal, 2,307.

Syrian Arab Republic, 2,272. Hong Kong, 2,180. India, 2,177.

Finland, 1,988. Ghana, 1,454. Netherlands, 1,126.

Italy, 907. Vietnam, 640. Mexico, 617.

Spain, 618. Sri Lanka, 539. Israel, 525.

Egypt, 425. Philippines, 399. Uganda, 379.

Russia, 381. Russia Federation, 287. Poland, 275.

Colombia, 272. Algeria, 266. Thailand, 257.

Australia, 244. Maldives, 236. Haiti, 223.

So there's a few places I guess. A few countries that listen. Oh, my water bill's through.

That's good. Great. I wonder what other stats.

I thought Corfu was a country. Now, I do wonder. That is a question I've got.

It'd be so good to. It'd be nice to get a bit more feedback because, you know, there's a few people listening to my podcasts. A few.

Yeah, my Facebook group's got 195 people. So it's a small amount of people and I don't know. It should be nice just to get some feedback.

That's all it is really. Just to hear from those that are. That listen to the podcasts or watch the videos and just to get a sense of.

Is it useful to you? I'm not quite sure how to. Yeah, I don't know how else to ask it really. Just if anyone would be willing to send me.

Not send me, but maybe join the Facebook group and post it on there or maybe post it on the podcast. If you use Apple podcasts or Spotify and Castbox, wherever. Just post a post a nice.

Comment. Maybe. Maybe.

I'm half asleep right now. I'm going to go before I fall completely asleep because I'm not far from it. So this is another one of those recordings, which isn't really about much.

At all. So. I mean, you might argue like, yeah, well, all of all of the recordings.

A fall under that category. Bit rude, but hey, yes, fair enough. So I'm going to go.

Thank you. And I will be back back again tomorrow with Healing Thursday. So thank you for listening.

Remember to be kind to yourself. Be gentle with yourself. Because you do deserve to be happy.

Lots of love. Bye. Bye.