(music) Uncle Sausages Update LMBYTS #1392 Jason Newland 13th July 2025

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland and I am sitting in my chair with my favourite little doggy, Finny. Finny, oh he's cuddled up to me. I'm just stroking him.

Um, oh yeah, please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. I thought I'd do a Sunday summary, as it's Sunday. So like a summary of the last week.

Not a summary of Sunday, because I haven't done much today except sleep really. Although I did get up very very early this morning to watch the boxing. So here's a summary, let's see, where do we start? Should we start Monday? Or should we start yesterday? Yeah let's start Monday and work our way to today.

Because I can't remember anything that happened on Sunday last week. So Monday, you know what, this is weird okay. The days seem to be mixing together, or rather the weeks are mixing together.

And I'm not 100% sure what happened last week and what happened this week. So I might get it a little bit wrong, a little bit wrong. So today is Sunday the something, is it the 12th of July? I think something like that.

And it's about three, oh it's 20 to three in the afternoon. I've got the windows open because it's a, it's a stuffy day today. It's like it's warm but it's stuffy, it's overcast, the sun's not there, well obviously it's there, but there's no sunshine really.

But it's very stuffy, very, like there's less oxygen than normal, which is probably a weird thing to say. However, based on that, I'm wondering whether or not we can have a big old thunderstorm tonight. I hope so.

And I like a big thunderstorm, even if Vinnie doesn't care about them. Honestly, I know it's a bit selfish because I like something that a lot of people don't like. But I do, I love a thunderstorm, like a really, really loud one.

Yeah. So I think maybe it's, I don't know, I don't know why I just do. There's something, ever since I was a kid, I quite like the idea that nature is just way more powerful than anything humans can produce.

As far as, you know, just every now and then it seems that nature just pops its little head up and says, just a little reminder to the humans, you know, I can do this in a second, something that you can create, I can, you know, it's, I don't know, just it's very powerful, isn't it? Nature, like naturally. But at the same time, I don't also don't like things that cause damage and harm.

But I guess because we don't really get that much here, which is nice.

But just a big thunderstorm or a particularly windy day. It's something to be respected, isn't it? Really, I would say nature. I was thinking about, you know, the old argument about what what instincts we're born with.

So nature versus nurture. So what we talk compared to what do we learn, you know, compared to what, what natural instincts do we have. And dogs have been studied for this dogs, rats, animals and stuff and humans, of course, but the idea that a dog has that.

It made me rethink it. Because I always thought that dogs naturally, you know, a dog will cock its leg, a male dog would cock its leg to go for wee-wees. It will kick behind it after going to a toilet to cover up because you know, to keep away predators and stuff, and not know why they're doing it.

And it's instinctive. But with Vinnie, it's not instinctive. Because he had no brothers or sisters when he was born.

He was around no dogs. Really, he had a female, he was around his mum. So when he went to a toilet, he crouched, which I guess is what his mum did.

And I had him at 10 months old. So he never cocked his leg. And he never did the old, you know, kicking back after going to a toilet.

Didn't do any of that stuff. Once he started going out for walks with Logie, my friend's dog downstairs, he started copying him. He started cocking his leg, started kicking.

The weird thing about it is he'll go to a toilet, and then he'll turn around and he'll kick behind him, which is a complete different direction. So there's no point to why he's doing it. But he's just learnt it.

So that, yeah, he had about 11 months with Logie. No, not 11 months, more than that, didn't he? Because my friend left in November. And I had Logie till, for another three months.

Till the end of February, I think. Or was it March? I think February. So he had over, I mean, he had three months of living with him solidly upstairs here, him and Logie together.

But before that, they would see each other every day, go for walks every day. So he copied him. But after living there, like, it didn't actually get on so well.

Because Vinnie was, Vinnie wanted his, he wanted his own space. And he, this was his home. He didn't want, he liked Vinnie, he liked Logie visiting.

But there's certain times like when it came to bedtime, Logie took up, he needed a whole bed because he was a big old dog. Vinnie was trying to push Logie off. He couldn't physically do it.

Even I couldn't physically do it. It was too strong and heavy. And Vinnie did not like that.

That's when he started sleeping on the pillow next to me. Because before that, he always used to sleep at the bottom of the bed. Or maybe at the side, like cuddle up to me when I was asleep, because he didn't like to cuddle up to me when I was awake.

Doesn't like to show any kind of affection, weird, weird old sausages. And so that's the pillow next to me. That was kind of the only space he had, or right behind me near the wall, because Logie took up literally half the bed.

Vinnie takes up half the bed, but he doesn't need half the bed. Logie needed half the bed because he's a big old thing. What's that got to do with the last week? I don't know.

You expect me to keep track of what I'm saying? I am sorry about the noise, but it's like a crash in the garden. I can't do anything about it. I'm not closing the windows.

And at the same time, I do also want to make recordings. So this is one of those, if I don't make a recording, isn't it really weird? You know, when you've got an adult that's really loud and you've got a kid with that adult all the time, and then the kid starts being really loud verbally, then the adult gets upset with the kid for being loud. Now that is funny.

That's a funny old situation. Bless them. Loud people raise loud people.

It's just because we just learn, it's the whole nature, nurture, everything as well, isn't it? It's sometimes I feel lucky that I moved around so much when I was very young, that I wasn't with the same people, I wasn't with the same adults. And, you know, it might seem weird because technically I probably, lucky wasn't the right word. I didn't get caught up in that copying other people's behavior.

So I didn't grow up like my dad, or like my mum, or like my step mum. I didn't, I didn't grow up like them, or like the nuns. Although I do sometimes like to dress up and pace around with a big ruler, big bit of wood.

But other than that, I'm not saying I wasn't influenced by them. Because, you know, kids are influenced by what's around them, aren't they? I think all humans are really, to be honest. I know I am, to a degree.

But I didn't end up being like a little carbon copy, or even, even partially a carbon copy of a parent. So I didn't have the, especially if you think back to the era that I grew up, like the 70s. So I didn't, I didn't grow up racist, or homophobic, or particularly sexist, or anything like that.

I didn't have those strong views about people from other countries and stuff. Because I've just been, I've traveled, not traveled, but I've been around, you know, I was in this little town, at the age of seven, I was in this little town. And I was hearing people be, I don't know, not very friendly towards non-white people.

Let's just say, and this was standard in the 70s. Standard, almost kind of just flippant, in a flippant way, not necessarily in a bullying way, just about people that were non-white. Now, there was only, I think I met one black person.

There's one black person in my school. Well, he was a mixed race. And there was probably one black person in the town.

The only Chinese people in the town were people that had a Chinese takeaway. The only Indian people were the people that had Indian restaurants. It was that kind of town, you know, early 80s, late 70s, early 80s, very like 99.9.9.9.9.9% Caucasian.

So I go to that town, and people are being all, it wasn't just the people, but on television. It was a very kind of prejudice, being prejudiced was just okay. It was standard, it was on family entertainment was racist and homophobic.

It was a standard thing. And I probably laugh. Yeah, I did laugh at it as well.

I was a kid, I laughed. But the difference is I had been, I knew I'd had black friends when I was in a kid's home. In fact, my girlfriend was black.

So I didn't have that attitude. I didn't have that kind of, by a lot of people in the town, and never actually seen someone that was non-white in the flesh, which is weird to imagine, but it's probably true, actually, other than on television or in movies. So I didn't have that.

I don't know, I just didn't have that attitude, that kind of that little brain defect that I think people that grew up in that time had a little bit. If they lived in a completely kind of little tiny little town in the middle of nowhere, where, you know, obviously, if you're in London, it's different, or if you're in a big city, it's multicultural, and it has been for a long, long time since probably the 50s.

I was going to say something mildly intelligent then, but I forgot what it was.

Yeah, I don't know. I just, I don't really know what I'm trying to say here. Just, I don't know why I'm thinking of nature and nurture, because we're not born like that, are we? Was it the two things that babies are born with, two fears, the fear of falling and loud noises? That seems to be the only two.

I don't think that's true, though, because everyone's got their own thing, isn't it? I mean, babies don't like being left on their own, do they, sometimes? I was quite a good father figure once. In 1995, I was dating this lady. She was, I think she was two years older than me.

I was 25, she was 27. She had two kids. One of them, she had a daughter who was about, I don't know, four, five, and she had a son who was probably about a year old, basically a baby still.

And that little boy bonded with me, like really bonded, like, just automatically, don't know why. And I used to be able to send him to sleep. So when he cried, he'd put his arms out for me to pick him up.

It's like he connected with me. And I used to sing to him, and I'd sing Michael Jackson songs, and he'd fall asleep. And one time I went away, I was in Butlins, and I got a phone call from her dad, my girlfriend's dad, saying that the little boy, the little baby was in hospital because he had an asthma attack.

So I come back to London, and I get in there. So I go into the baby ward, which is just a weird place to be. And the first thing the little boy does is put his arms out for me to pick him up, smiling, so happy to see me.

And it was weird, like, wow, imagine if other human beings were happy to see me. Imagine having that kind of welcome from everyone that you meet in life. Life, you would just be almost blissful, wouldn't it? It'd be weird.

Yeah, it'd be definitely weird. Especially if you, yeah, that would be weird, wouldn't it? Imagine you're robbing someone's house, and they came in and caught you, and they were so excited to see you. Oh, how are you? That'd be weird.

Not that I rob people's houses. Although, funny enough, the lady downstairs who got her flat robbed about three months ago, she found out who did it. It was a local neighbor, according to her.

And apparently, that same neighbor, again, I don't have proof of this, but actually, the dots fitted together, because she knew stuff that she wouldn't know otherwise. You know, that I've not said to her. The same neighbor was going around to people saying that I was a convicted, I've been to prison for something really bad.

And so the neighbor downstairs went online, apparently there's a website you can go on to check this stuff out. And it's weird. So really, I didn't know what to do with that information.

Because this is someone that I actually visited. I visited this person in hospital last week. Not not this isn't uncle sausages.

It's another neighbor. And if it was uncle sausages, I wouldn't be visiting them anymore. If I thought he'd said something like that about me.

Yeah, that was weird. I said, like, okay. Well, if that was true, then I would not be living opposite a school for fact, you know, there's a certain laws about stuff like that.

Then it kind of like we had this conversation me and the neighbor downstairs and she said, yeah, but if she's going around telling people, you could end up really in a bad place a bad spot, you know. I said, yeah. And it kind of explains why some people are used to say low to me that now don't.

Because it's the old saying, isn't it like the old? No smoke without fire. That idiotic phrase. So yeah, it's weird.

I still trying to process this. It's not the best time to be trying to process any other serious stuff with what's going on with uncle sausages. I did not know what to do with that information.

Also to find out that apparently the neighbor downstairs knows the person that broke into a flat. She's like a friend of a friend and he didn't know it was her flat. So he's gone and told her who organized it, which was the other neighbor.

So I don't know if she's going to go to the police. I got no idea. I can't.

It's not for me to get involved in that stuff. And also it's not for me to know what's what's what is it? I don't know what's true and what's not true. But it has absolutely blown my mind.

Just thinking I'm walking around and people are thinking that of me. It's just absolutely. Yeah, it's weird.

I should move on. I just it's it's all I've been thinking about since Friday. Yeah, Friday, that's when I've Yeah, right.

No, Saturday, Saturday night. No. Friday, Friday.

Yeah. So since Friday afternoon, about 530. I remember roughly, because Uncle Suss, well, actually, it was Auntie Landlord came around and got me to sign that form, that legal document that Auntie, the Uncle Sausages wanted me to sign.

So I did that. And then what's her name? Called me up. Asked me for something.

I said a couple of black bags or something. And so I went down and she started telling me all this stuff. Why? Why didn't you? Yeah, that's like, wow.

Because I said to her, she was saying this stuff. I said, Well, I don't know, I get on quite well. And she said, Oh, you should hear what she says about you.

And then when she was telling me actually, was things that she wouldn't know. That makes sense. And things that I've not, because I have had hardly any conversations with the neighbour downstairs.

Hardly any conversations at all, since she moved in, helped her out a few times, actually, but I've never really had any sit down proper normal conversations. And this was the first time that we sat and talked for like half an hour, hadn't hadn't done that before. And she knew things that she wouldn't know, unless she'd actually spoken to the other person.

There's no way she'd know that stuff. It's very unusual, very, very unusual situation. I'm thinking that with people like that about here, I'm just like, I need to get out of here.

I said to her, Why didn't you tell me when when she when you found out, when she said it, she said, I was gonna but you just let me know that you had bipolar. And I didn't want to. I was worried what your reaction would be.

And I said, I still got bipolar, you know, it wasn't just a weekend thing. I'm still here. And generally, my reactions were internal most of the time.

Not always, but most of the time. And there's, you know, it's kind of limit, limited to what I can do in these situations. But yeah, so that that's probably one of the biggest things that's happened this week for me is hearing that.

How much of it is gossip? How much of it is true? How much it but a lot of it was based on stuff that my neighbor would not know. She wouldn't know. There's no way in the world she could know.

So I say one more time, she couldn't have known. Which, because I've not talked to anyone else. I don't talk to anyone anymore, because my friend Luke's gone.

So I don't have conversations with people about what's going on locally. We used to chat about stuff. I suppose we'll have a little bit of gossip.

But generally, you know, since then, I don't have contact with pretty much anyone at all around here. Apart from people I bump into when I'm walking a vinny. Yeah, don't don't have hardly anyone knock on the door or ring me.

But there's this one person that I see. That I don't see it very often, but I usually see a couple of times a week, actually. And as I said, I visited her in hospital when she was lying there on oxygen.

I mean, you could argue, well, I was already I was at hospital anyway, so fair enough. But it's still, you know, so nice little bit of effort. I was going to give her a lift home as well, but she didn't get kicked out in time.

She didn't get a parole. But the idea that someone's, it's not even that they're going around telling lots of people, you just say it to one person. That's enough to completely destroy everything for me.

I suppose I'm lucky that the person she told didn't believe her. But at the same time, still checked, because it can be checked. You could check there's a, there's a whole website devoted to this subject.

I've never even had, I know I don't drive, but I've never been arrested, never had a parking fine, never even had, what do you call it, a warning. Is it a about anything. I've never got in trouble for putting a cigarette out on the pavement.

I've, you know, it's literally nothing my whole entire life. Saying that, when I was seven, I did get in trouble with the police, but that was because of stealing from the school. But the police didn't do anything to me.

They just made me stand up and be humiliated. That was when I was, yeah, I was seven. But other than that, I've, yeah, I've never had any, nothing.

I've got a very clean record. And without getting into obvious statements, I could not have been a counsellor, a therapeutic counsellor, counselling children or adults for charities such as MIND. If I had, well, to be fair, possibly any criminal record.

I mean, they can kind of override some of it. You know, if I had a criminal record for, I'm trying to think, something completely unrelated to human beings, 30 years ago. You know, something like that.

Maybe they can kind of override it and say, well, fair enough. It's a long time ago. It's not, I'm trying to think of a scenario, robbing a bank, maybe? No, that's probably not a good one, is it? Stealing a tractor to carry home some pebbles from the beach for my patio.

I'm just thinking something like that. It's like, okay, I stole a tractor. I didn't, I'm saying, but like, okay, stole a tractor is taking pebbles from a beach, stealing.

Technically, they're not owned by anyone, I guess. But then, you know, stealing a tractor, it's not good. It's against the law.

Get in trouble for that, get arrested, have a fine. The worst is going to be a suspended sentence, I imagine. But, although I did notice, I've got a friend who, anyway, I won't go into that.

Yeah, so that's very, very unusual. I can't live in the mode of like, wanting to just get out of here now, move away. But I can't, there's no, there's nowhere to go.

But at the same time, I guess at least it's taken my attention off of Uncle Sausage's for a few hours, eh? Wow. He's phoning me up quite a lot when I'm not there. And I gave him the, an iPad to watch his TV, you know, the sports channels.

And he's struggling a little bit working the thing. And I said, I showed him how to do it, but I do understand that a new thing can take a while to learn. And he's getting confused with it.

And I said, maybe just play around with it, just practice, open up the different apps. Like that, you know, because it's not really any different from his TV. It's just, instead of using a remote control, he's just touching the screen instead.

But it's, yeah, he was saying something about the nurses, they're always walking off to go and pray, which is throwing him off a bit. And then he was talking about nurses on horseback. And I thought, in the ward? He said, no.

I said, well, what, what nurses on horses? I don't really know what you're saying. So I'll try and find out what that was about. He said, they're on TV.

I said, they're on TV. Okay. Really, he was confused with that today.

And then he, he talks about something, and then I'm not sure what he's talking about. Because I can't hear him very well. He's like, I think almost he's whispering to me.

He doesn't want other people to hear what he's saying, maybe, or he doesn't want to disturb other people. I don't know. And I've noticed that he doesn't talk loudly anymore.

He used to talk quite, not, he wasn't loud, but he was very, yeah, probably above normal, normal volume level when he got animated, and he was talking. It was never quiet. Now he's really quiet.

When he talks, I have to get my face really close to him. I mean, literally, I have to get my ear inside his mouth in order for me to hear what he's saying, which is a weird visual. And he didn't used to be like that.

I mean, literally, two weeks ago, he wasn't like that. Two weeks ago, he was with his neighbor, Del Boy, who was the bloke in the bed next to him. Uncle Sausages was walking around, talking about football and stuff, and he was animated, and he was talking loudly and, you know, enthusiastically.

And now he's just sitting there. Del Boy left, so he got out of the hospital. And he's just, it kind of, it feels a little bit like he's surrendered, Uncle Sausages.

He just surrendered to the situation, which I understand is possibly part of the process. And he's having problems with his tummy, really quite bad problems with his tummy, which he didn't, he wasn't experiencing before he went in there, although maybe was a little bit, but it's, you know, it's progressed. And he was saying, oh, I've got a tummy bug, I must have caught it from the hospital, which is possible.

But no one else has got it. And well, it's kind of, I think it's part of what he's going through. And, and also could be a reaction to the medication and stuff.

I just wish I could just pick him up and take him out. He's not even allowed out of the hospital ward anymore. And he's in the discharge ward, so they're waiting for him to be, I might just call this about Uncle, Uncle Sausages update.

Because that way, if you don't want to hear about Uncle Sausages, you can just ignore this because not everyone's going to want to listen to recordings that are like this, because, you know, even though I'm not going to go into any kind of graphic detail whatsoever. It might, it's not necessarily something people are going to want to listen to. So I will just put down Uncle Sausages update.

That's fair, isn't it? Yeah. So if you get the Sunday summary, and let's call it Sunday summary, Uncle Sausages update. Maybe I don't know.

Does it really matter? Does anyone does anyone even bother worried about what the titles are of the recordings? Wait a minute, that's supposed to be Monday's boring objects. Does anyone care? I don't know. I just don't know.

I do. I do. No, no.

It's weird. He was moaning about the food. He's still moaning about the food.

And he's, I think there's a little bit of clash of cultures there. Because he's a, you know, he's nearly 80 years old, he's got his religion. He hasn't really spent any time around people with an outwardly different religion to him.

And you wouldn't even know what religion he was, because he doesn't dress up or anything. So I think that's some kind, it's a little bit of a little bit of a shock to his system to be around people that are dressed differently. And he's never been in hospital before.

So it's kind of I think that it's a little bit of a culture shock, being around people that are maybe speaking very different, with a very different accent. And I think communication wise, he's struggling with that. Because I think they might struggle with him because he's got a very strong Irish accent.

And some of his nurses and doctors have got a very strong accent from where they were born. So I think it's a little bit hard for both sides to understand what each other is saying. And because he can't understand, sometimes, he's not asking for people to repeat.

And I said to him, look, if you don't, if you don't understand what someone's saying, maybe because they're not speaking loud enough. He's also I think he's a little bit he is hearing isn't as good as it used to be. He struggles to hear me on the phone.

And how many people's hearing is as good as it used to be when they're 78. Realistically, you know, so I'm not saying anything prerogative. I'm not saying anything peroxide about him.

So I said, look, Uncle Sausage, it's just you can ask people to repeat themselves. Or you can even say, I don't understand what you're saying. As long as you don't, you know, don't say in a horrible way.

So I don't understand what you're saying. And hopefully, if that person has any communication skills, they will speak a little bit clearer, and a little bit slower, and maybe a little bit louder, maybe or get closer to the person. That just seems like the obvious thing to do.

Although I've seen this so many times over the years, people with the same accent, like a really strong accent, not being able to understand each other. I've seen people from Glasgow, Liverpool, Newcastle, talking to each other. And they're talking so fast.

And every person says, huh, what? Now, the person is repeats exactly the same sentence as they did before, in exactly the same way, exactly the same speed, with the exact same amount of mumbling. And then a person, huh? And then they can kind of put it together after hearing it two or three times. Now, I've noticed that for 30-40 years, that people have a tendency, I say people, but some people have a tendency of, they just repeat themselves exactly how they did before.

But the fact that the person listening to them didn't understand what they said, or didn't catch the full sentence, means maybe, you know, as I said, like, speaking a little bit clearer. But I noticed that when people, for example, someone says, I had a friend who used to sort of talk and then it almost is like his sentence would fall asleep at the end. So yeah, I'm going to head down to this.

What? I'm now going to just going to head down to this. And it just drop off half his, like the last bit, the last word, the last two words are almost like, fall asleep. Now, if someone asks me to repeat myself, because I'm perfect, of course, I would just think, oh, they didn't understand what I said.

So maybe I mumbled, and I mumble everyone, I'm imagining everyone mumbles sometimes. I love mumbling, it makes me makes me horny. So it was a really weird thing to say.

And that's, that's thrown me off, I've thrown myself off. Wow. I've thrown myself off.

That sounds weird as well, doesn't it? Stop throwing yourself off. There's people, we've got company. You're ruining the Christmas dinner.

Well, yeah, anyway, I just, I don't know why I'm talking about that. Why am I talking about people mumbling? Oh, yeah, the nurses, the doctors. So in his last ward, so he'd been in one, this is fourth, fourth ward he's been in.

The first one was in the accident emergency department. So in the ward there, while he was being scanned and blood tests and all that stuff. So he was in a ward, but he then got moved after two days, or it was yet a Friday night, got moved on the Saturday to a new ward, another ward.

But he was only in there for about two days, maybe three days, two or three days. And then he got moved to the ward he was in before he moved to this new one. To start with, he liked it in there.

I wouldn't say liked, I mean, he didn't, didn't wake up every morning singing, you know, he didn't, he didn't like it, but he liked the other patients. Del Boy lived next to him, I think some other bloke, Big Paul or whatever he called him was opposite. And then there was another bloke that was the other side opposite, but he, he was asleep most of the time.

But his wife used to come and chat to us. She was in there every single day. And excuse the noise again outside.

When the, oh that squeaky voice just put me off, what was I was going to say? Yeah, when Del Boy moved out, he had a new person move in. And he didn't like him. Uncle Sausages took a dislike to this person.

He thought that they were talking about him and stuff. And he thought that he was getting preferential treatment. But the ward nurse, because I called the ward nurse when Uncle Sausages told me this, and we got together and had a conversation.

And she explained that everybody's got different needs. Because they're all in the same ward for the same reason, but variations of that reason. And at various stages of the condition as well.

So this person had more personal needs than Uncle Sausages has. And Uncle Sausages was saying, Oh, I think he's private, because he keeps clicking his fingers, which I'm sure he didn't, but kept asking for help with stuff. And that was annoying, Uncle Sausages.

I tried to explain it, if he was private, he wouldn't be in a ward with other people, you know, that he'd have his own places in his own room. It definitely wouldn't be in that ward with everyone. But I think, I think he's kind of just being stuck in one place, was really just winding him up.

Then he started thinking that they were saying that he was, yeah, I won't say the word, but that they were kind of talking about him as if he was a criminal, some kind of, you know, because of his name or his accent or whatever. And he started saying, Don't you call me paranoid? Because he because he sort of said, maybe you're just, you know, I might just be bored.

And it's almost like he was trying to create some drama.

But not meaning to. But then there's also confusion, based on the condition, the medication, just being in that environment. I feel confused now.

Just back and forward there when I'm in this, I just, it is, it's, it's quite a confusing experience. So he must be Yeah, all over the place. And then he they moved him to this new ward.

And he was saying, Oh, that bloke one, he got he got Uncle sausages kicked out and moved. Which isn't true at all. It's basically he was moved to the discharge ward.

I'm sure there's a few discharge wards in the hospitals, but he was moved to one of the discharge wards. Because he's being discharged. Although it might take a while.

Because he got asked by the hospice, or the discharge nurse, but I think she's part of the hospice as well. And she said, she said, Uncle sausages, what have you? What have you decided? Because she, she came a week before. And she came in saying, have you decided what you want to do yet? And he said, Well, I don't want to go home.

He didn't want to come back to the flat because of the mess and stuff like that. There. She doesn't want to come back here, which he did originally.

And she said, What do you want? He said, Well, she said, Do you want to go into a care home? She said, he said, No hospice. That's what he told her. Which I was a little bit surprised about because I've never I didn't think that was something that you could choose to do.

I thought it was something that you I don't know, I just, I thought it had gone for a care home, because I imagine that'd be a much nicer environment. They'd make friends and stuff. And thinking about it as possibly where he should have been anyway.

Not not like a care home, but in a kind of a residential home. Where he was having his he was being looked after. He's got a few needs, just he'd have been looked after.

And I think that's, I think he'd have been much happier if he'd had that for the last few years. Just somewhere where he had his own room, ideally. Getting fed every day.

He could watch it, you know, have their own TV, he could watch sport all day long if he wanted. They'd also be able to have company, because he loves to talk to people. He's a people's person.

And which is ironic, because he's also solitary, like me. And I think that's part of the reason why I've really tried to help him over the last year or so. I've always been there if he needed me since I've been there for 10 years, but we kind of got a bit closer over the last year because of stuff with his flat and bills.

And he couldn't, he couldn't communicate on the phone anymore with people. So he helped got me to help him do it. And he loves chatting, loves people really, bit like Vinnie, loves humans.

But he lives a solitary life, or has done, where he doesn't see anyone, really, unless he goes out to the petrol station, or goes to the chip van. They all know him at the chip van. Because he chats to everyone, they feel like they know him.

Because every, you know, once a week, he's there, waiting for the chips, fish and chips, and four cans of drink, and a bad sausage. I even know what he gets now, because I've got it from him before. Mushy peas and curry sauce, I think.

But they, they really, they love him in there. They're just because he talks to them about, because the thing is, because they're, I think they're, I don't know what country they're from. Uncle sausages does.

And that's the thing. So Uncle sausages hasn't, he doesn't have a problem with people from other countries. It's just because his normal thing is, I've seen him do it with security guards.

When we first went to hospital, he was asking them where they were from, specifically, so he could talk about sport. So if he saw someone either from India, or from Pakistan, or from that kind of part of the world, he'd go cricket. So where are you from? If they said, Oh, Bangladesh, and it go into cricket.

If, if he got someone that says, Oh, they're from Singhali, or they're from Jamaica, or wherever it talk about whatever kind of probably football, you know, if someone's from Spain or Italy, football, it kind of go with whatever is the national sport. But if someone was from Australia, he'd go cricket. Do you know what I mean? So he's kind of, that's he's interested in where people are from.

But because people aren't talking to him, the nurses are not and the doctors are not there to talk about sport. They're there to save people's life and, and to do their rounds, and they've got to get to the next person. So I think it's, I get a sense he feels like he's been silenced a bit.

And I'm hoping that he gets out there as soon as possible. I hope it will be a care home. Because then he'll be around people and possibly he'll ever, you know, be able to have a nice chat with people.

And I'll be able to just, I don't know, be himself again. But then I don't know how much of him not being himself is because of the, I'll tell you what, it's a break of my heart, you know, this whole situation. I know it's supposed to, perhaps I shouldn't call this a Let Me Bore You To Sleep.

It's hard, it's hard. But he doesn't seem to be himself anymore. The way he used to, it goes in and out of it.

It's not just personality wise. I mean, he was getting angry during the week, and I've never really seen him angry before. But he's gone through little periods of anger and telling me off.

And I'm like, okay, wouldn't normally put up with that. Oh, wow. Yeah, it's sometimes I would be like, you know, go, go yourself.

Like, that's it. But I can't because that would be the wrong wrong thing to do. So I'm kind of just trying to stick with it and hope that he gets released or gets discharged.

It's quite funny, isn't it? Considering the nurses and care workers have to deal with discharges all day long. He's in the discharge ward, which they are anyway. So he is.

I don't know if he's going to be out there by the end of the week, the end of next week. Well, starts tomorrow, doesn't it? Maybe Monday. I don't know.

But the, the nurse that he spoke to regarding getting discharged, where he'd like to go, she's on it. And they've been on it for they started last Thursday, not this Thursday, gone the one before. So they've been on it for over a week already, trying to find him somewhere to move.

And if he doesn't come back here, I didn't realise this. They literally will stop his money and give him a 20 pound a week to live on. Someone told me that I don't know if it's true or not.

And I realise he'll be getting all his meals and he'll be getting, you know, he'll get somewhere to live and that. But he's 20 pound a week. It's, what if he wants some new clothes? What if he wants to buy, you know what I mean? Just, he wants to, because who knows? You don't know.

They've given him three, an amount of time, three. And I say how long they give, but he might, you know, he may be around for a lot longer. Hopefully he is.

So he might, because I said to him, when you do, if you get a nice room in a, a care home, get yourself a big old TV, you know, just, just, I didn't say, I didn't say you must get yourself a TV, but get a nice TV, big. He's just got a little one where he lives. I don't know why.

It's not a little bit, it's kind of quite small. Although he likes it. He likes, he likes to set up his got before, but I said, just get a massive TV if you can.

And what's weird is he's got a huge collection of magazines, sports magazines, like football programs and things like that, cricket, rugby. Yet I said to him, what do you want to do with that stuff? And he said, just get rid of it. I mean, he had his whole flat cleared out just before Christmas because of, let's just say his collection, his collecting got out of hand.

Okay. But he still managed to keep hold of thousands and thousands of magazines. Like every drawer, every cupboard is full.

And now he's willing to just like, just chuck it away. And that just seems, it just seems wrong to do that. I mean, technically I haven't got to do anything.

The council can come and do that, but I'd kind of like, I'll speak to him and say, look, is there anything personal you want me to go through and get rid of or get for you to take into the home or put into storage? Because he might have, you know, he's got a big Bible. I'm sure he doesn't want that chucked out. And he probably want that to go to someone because honestly it's like the side of a table, massive.

Someone gave it to him. I think it's his uncle pastry gave it to him when he was a kid. So he's, he's had that for forever.

Like big bound Bible. And it's like in a little booklet thing. So it's a big booklet thing.

So it's very kind of kept, kept well. And he might have personal stuff. He might have photographs, you know, family photographs, things like that.

I don't know where they are. So I'm going to ask him, is there stuff in your flat that you want me to get for you? Photographs? Just, I don't know any sentimental things because unless they allow him to come back to the flat to go through the stuff, but I imagine that'd be really hard for you. He said he doesn't want to set foot in the place again, but I imagine that'd be hard, very hard for him to go back into that flat now after this.

Because he's lived there for like 30 years, nearly 26 years, 99. I think he moved in there. So I don't know, it's going to be, it just doesn't seem right that because I saw this with Luke, when Luke left, left me, left us, left the world, his flat was completely full of stuff.

His family, immediate family came round because I had the key to his flat. I had a spare key up here. So I let them in and they just took a few bits, like just like personal items, like a t-shirt that still had his smell on and stuff like that.

Still had his sisters and his mum, just keepsakes and that was it. And then they tossed me the key back. And they didn't want to go, they didn't want to set foot into that place again.

And then I think a couple of weeks, yeah, then what happened is, no, I didn't take the key back. I said to his sister, keep the key. I don't want it.

I'm not going in there anymore either. And I want to go in, I didn't want to go in there. And so basically, then another friend of his got hold of the key, was given the key.

And he went in there and started taking stuff out bit by bit over like a week or two, got rid of as much as he could, anything he could sell really, to be honest, or use. And then, when the council came round to empty the place, this is something that I found very difficult, actually, because they were very, I'm going to use the word unprofessional. But to be fair, what they're doing, they probably don't hire people with, it's kind of, perhaps they don't even think beyond what they're doing.

They don't realise that actually, when they're emptying someone's flat of belongings, okay, that person's not there anymore. But the other people around in the other flats, the neighbours may be very close to that person, still be grieving. And the way they were treating his stuff, and we literally heard one of them say, what a bunch of junk, as he was chucking it onto the back of a lorry.

And he was smashing his stuff up with a big hammer, a big mallet thing, like outside the front, just to make more room. And I just found that so disrespectful. But I don't think they did it with disrespect.

I think they, I think maybe they just, to them, it's just a job, they're clearing out a flat. They don't know what the situation is. A lot of people leave flats and just move out, you know, and leave all their stuff in there.

So that for they know, it could be just someone that's just moved to a different town, or just hadn't paid the rent for two years and skipped, you know, ran out. So they didn't, they didn't know what the situation was. But still just, I don't know, it's hard to explain it.

I mean, I'm, I'm pretty sure if I'd have done that job, I might have, I might have said the same thing. I might have said, oh, what a bunch of rubbish, what's all this stuff. I might have done.

And maybe I might even do now if, you know, maybe in the past, if I, because I've had jobs where I've cleaned and stuff. So maybe I'd have had the same attitude. Perhaps I've become a bit more, I've always been quite sensitive.

But I think I was more sensitive about myself, towards myself. When I was younger, I become more sensitive towards other people as I got older. It's yeah, I think that's probably what it was.

So I've always been a sensitive person, I would say, to a degree, depending on the situation, depending on my mood. But yeah. So I don't really want someone to be doing that with Uncle Sausages flat, going in there, shouting out about how, whatever, messy it is, or what's all this rubbish or whatever, because that would just be disrespectful.

So I'm kind of in my, in my mind thinking, well, maybe I'll say to Uncle Sausages, if you want me to start bagging stuff up, clearing out the place so that when the council come, all they got to do is just get rid of the furniture. So I can't, I've got nowhere to put the furniture, but I can get rid of the belongings. And then see if there's anything he needs.

So, you know, because he's got thousands of, well not thousands, but probably hundreds of newspaper articles on various sports and events. He's got tickets from sport and events that he's attended. Yeah.

So much. Because he loves sport. That's his, it's not just a hobby, it's his life.

But it's weird today. He said the iPad's not working, or it wasn't working properly, or he couldn't get it to work. And I said, well, I'll try and talk it through with you.

And I said, so you want the BBC app, don't you, because you want to watch Wimbledon? He said, oh, I can't be bothered with Wimbledon. I didn't think I'd ever hear that sentence come out of his mouth. Didn't care about Wimbledon, the Wimbledon Men's Finals, which is one of the biggest sport events in this country.

In a year, it's one of the biggest events. The men's and the female finals, and maybe doubles and the wheelchair as well. But just the finals, you know, the final weekend.

That's what I'm trying to say. And he just didn't have any interest. Yeah, he's been watching Wimbledon.

He's had it on TV for the last two weeks. In the other ward, because he had a TV, which was on the kind of, not a ceiling, but wasn't on the ceiling, but it was quite high up. So he had that, and it was playing the whole time, you know, all day long.

So, yeah, it's kind of strange. Very, very, very, very, very, very, very strange. I do hope, though, if he gets to go into a care home, that it's not too far away, because it's cost me a fortune getting to him the last three and a bit weeks.

And the further he is away, the less I'm going to be able to travel to see him. Because it's not just about expense, which is this quite a big thing, but it's also time and leaving little Vinnie on his own for too long. I know technically I should be able to leave him all day long, but he's never been left alone.

And since I've had him, I've been with him pretty much 24 hours a day for two and a half years, however long it's been. So to suddenly be leaving him alone for five, six hours is, I think it's been a bit traumatic for him. And he never gets used to it.

I mean, I have left him alone for a few hours, like really rarely, very rare. But generally, if I go out, I take him with me, pretty much all the time. And I haven't been able to do that.

And you know why I didn't go? I didn't take him to the hospital, co-organise to take him to the hospital. But I couldn't take him. You know why not? This was a couple of weeks ago, because I was visiting that other neighbour who was on oxygen.

And I thought, I'll go and visit her. Can't take Vinnie into that ward. So I'll have to leave him here.

Because, you know, I was visiting Uncle Sausages. I thought I'd visit her as well. So I didn't take Vinnie.

So Uncle Sausages didn't get to see Vinnie, who he's been looking forward to seeing. Then I find out what she's been up to. Absolutely amazing.

Let it go, baby, let it go. I have. No, you haven't.

I know I haven't. So, you know, I'm hoping that something happens in a positive way as far as his being moved out this week. It'd be great if he can find somewhere, or if they can find somewhere for him that's relatively close to here.

Although he's central, even central in the town, I can get to. If it's central, I can get there a lot easier than where he is at the moment. You know, if it's just one bus, rather than two buses.

And then I can, you know, just, he'll have people around him. And all the nurses were saying that they liked him. He was a lovely man.

And, you know, he's, he's a friendly bloke. I think he's just, you know, kind of had enough of being there really. Just wants to, wants to get out.

Wants to have a bit of freedom. He wants his parole. That's what he wants.

He wants his parole, so he does. Bless him. So it was really weird.

I did, made an image yesterday. Use chat GPT. All I asked is make a man, an elderly man, an elderly man, made of sausages.

Okay, his uncle sausages, isn't he? Have, on sitting on a bed, have Jack Russell next to the bed licking his lips. And then I said, add a whiskey, wispy white hair or wavy white hair and a baseball cap. And the ironic thing is the face actually looks like him.

Like he's got the same kind of same features. I'm talking about same kind of eyes, same kind of mouth, same kind of jaw. He was uncanny.

It's really strange, especially with that baseball cap and the hair. He's got quite long hair and it's very bright, you know, quite, you know, I don't know. It looks like him.

Not the sausages park. He's not made of sausages. We call him uncle sausages or Vinnie does, because that's the thing that he gets for him.

He goes to the, I don't know if he goes up the road to the shops, but he gets these sausages in a pack. And there's those rubbery ones that I don't think are fit for human consumption, but I think they are sold for humans and they're rubbery and Savoyish. I think never liked Savoy's could not.

Oh, Savoy's. I couldn't believe when people used to come into the chip shop and actually ask for Savoy, they were willing to pay. To eat a Savoy, literally they were willing to give their own money.

You couldn't honestly, I wouldn't, I wouldn't eat it if you gave me money. Savoy's. Oh, never liked them.

But anyway, it's this, there's kind of those kinds of sausages, rubbery, not really sausages. But this one here, he loves them. Absolutely loves them.

He'd eat a whole pack if he could, in one sitting. He doesn't get to, but he would if he could. So that's why he calls Uncle Sausages, Uncle Sausages.

He's also got a lady who doesn't have a dog, but she likes, all the dogs love her around here. Because she's, they all call her Nanny Treats. So she's known as Nanny Treats by all the dogs.

Vinnie started that one as well. And all the dogs, it's quite weird because some of the other dog owners are starting to call her Nanny Treats. That's funny.

If you say something enough, people will start to like, pick it up, wouldn't they, I guess. Oh, it's Nanny Treats. But wow, it's catching on, baby.

But Vinnie, if I had to say to Vinnie, Nanny Treats. And he looks up like, where? Like you could say, oh, well, I've just said the word Treats. But no, he's looking for Nanny Treats.

He knows the difference between just saying Treats and Nanny Treats. And he can spot her from a mile away, which is an exaggeration, but he can see her. You know, you know, when you can see the outline of someone from a distance, but maybe not see their face properly, to not really know whether or not to wave to them.

He knows who it is. Maybe he's just got much better eyesight than me. And I don't generally, that sometimes I let him off the lead.

Well, I let go of the lead and he runs to her. Because I know that once he gets to her, he's not leaving her side. He will not leave her because I literally have to drag him away.

Because he will eat every single treat that she gives him. He adores her. Absolutely adores her.

And even if she didn't give him any treats, ever again, he'd still get excited to see her. Because he loves her. Because he just, she adores him.

I mean, she loves all the dogs, but I think he's, he's one of her favorite ones. Because he's been and there's another one who lives next door. But this one's been in the house at least once.

She let him in and she ran around and he loved it. Absolutely loved it. So she's, so it's nanny treats and you've got uncle sausages.

There's no one else at the moment really. And there's a few people that I see, you know, when I when I take him out, but there hasn't got any nicknames for any of them. There's Del Boy, but that's a different person.

That's not the one in the hospital. That's just a wheeler and dealer that me and Luke used to call Del Boy. He worked on the market.

So it's always like selling stuff out of his garage and just he'd buy stuff and sell it. That's what it was. Market trader.

But we call him Del Boy. Other than that, those pants, but he's don't live around here anymore. And the lawnmower man, he doesn't live anymore because he'd spent about literally about eight hours mowing a tiny little bit of grass.

He'd taken so many pills or whatever he took, and he would literally just be standing there. One blade of grass at a time. But with a lawnmower, I don't know how it's even possible.

And all you hear is that lawnmower starting and stopping, starting and stopping from morning to night. All day long. So I called him lawnmower man, among other things.

What other name, other people? No, that's it really. I'm now beginning to wonder what my nickname is. Oh, please.

I'm worried to even ask. But that's it really. That's really what's happened this week.

Been a backward and forward, dealt with taxi drivers and bus drivers, passengers, the heat. All the nurses and it's been a very strange week. And then Uncle Sausage's started to get a little bit agitated, thinking that people were doing stuff and like, it got very, very complicated, very difficult.

But it seems to be hopefully heading towards the right direction. In a sense of him being discharged, that's what I mean by the right direction. And fingers crossed, he will end up in a nice place where he's, he feels okay.

I know what I mean when I say that, but I still am not sure what it means. Whatever okay is, that he feels. I want to use the word happy, but that's probably the last word.

Maybe, but I'd like him to feel that he's being looked after and that he feels safe. And yeah, I guess that's it, isn't it? To feel safe and to feel looked after, to feel heard when he speaks, to be listened to and maybe, you know, make a couple of friends along the way. And yeah, very strange times.

Oh, my glasses just fell off. Actually, I just, what did I do? I did something and I knocked my glasses off with my thumb. They didn't just fall off at all.

But you weren't to know that. Why did I have to tell you the truth? Damn it. So I'm going to have a Chelsea bun with icing and a big cherry on the top.

Pretend it's, no, I want to eat that. And then I might make myself another cup of tea as well to have that with. And then I will possibly edit this recording.

It's now, what time is it? It's 4.03. So I've been talking for nearly an hour and a half. I'll probably watch, maybe I'll watch a movie. A movie.

I don't know. And then I'll have an early night tonight. Even though I've spent half a day in bed.

Oh, I woke up. I just remembered. Do you know what? Here's how this is changing me.

I woke up this morning. I went to bed at eight, which I've been doing a little bit during the week. And yeah, I just, I'm kind of ready to go to bed at that time.

So I went to bed at eight, woke up at half. Oh dear. I woke up at half 12.

I woke up a couple of times in that period as well, including getting a phone call. And I had this dream where I just said out loud, and I felt it, that it's the first time I've ever been happy. And it involved a lady.

It involved falling in love. And it was weird. I was kind of pursuing her, not in a kind of weird way, but just, but she was allowing me in a sense like she, I don't know, it was a weird one because it's a dream.

So it's all completely involved elephants and swings and stuff. You know, it could be ice cream. It's all kinds of weird things involved.

But basically, I remember saying to her in this dream, telling her that I loved her or I love her and want to spend the rest of my life with her or something like that. And she was concerned. She said, how long is that going to be? I said, why? She said, well, I've got things to do.

I've got to make plans. So it was weird. And then I woke up.

It was that whole thing of like, okay, it's the first time I felt happy. Like that was the first time. And it was a strange time to wake up.

Okay, brilliant. And I'm partially awake, you know, because at half 12, I'd spent a fair bit of time in bed yesterday afternoon, or during the day, actually. And the boxing was on live boxing, which was multiple world title fights.

Well, yeah. So I just, I thought no, I'm not gonna watch it. I'm gonna go back to bed because you know, I don't get up in the middle of night anymore to watch boxing.

And this little voice, well, it's not really a little voice, but a thought came into my head said, why are you putting it off? Why put off something that you enjoy? And I thought of Uncle Sausages. And I thought, yeah, why am I putting that off? Why am I not sitting up? Okay, it's disruptive to the next day, because I'm gonna be tired all day Sunday. But at the same time, it's a live event.

It's a big event in the boxing calendar. And it was a really good event as well. Every fight was good.

Why? Why am I just like, I'll go to bed? No, I need to make sure I'm in bed to at least four o'clock. It's 1230. It's too early to be getting up.

So this whole thing seems to be changing my attitude a little bit to the whole idea of putting stuff off. Yeah. Anyway, it's a good it was a good night.

And I've been tired all day. Bless. But also, in a few weeks time, there's a there's the Canelo Crawford fight, which is in September, I think.

But that that's going to be on during the night. And I'm watching that. Hopefully, I'm going to watch that.

Because that's arguably the biggest fight of the year. Arguably, just from a sense of the two biggest names in boxing fighting each other. It's huge.

Two unified world champions fighting each other. I mean, it yeah, it's it's it's quite rare that happens. It does happen.

But it's this is like, you know, it's a big deal in the boxing world. So I'm going to be watching that. And that's going to be early hours in the morning on I think September the 12th or 13th, something like that.

Or 14th. Yeah. And then next week is the World Heavyweight title fight.

But that's in England. So that's good. And that's Dubois against Usyk.

For all the belts, so that's something to look forward to. So I hope the Uncle sausages by next weekend, Uncle sausages is out of the hospital, living in a decent place. I mean, where you know, somewhere that he wants to be, that he's happy with.

And I'm sitting here watching the boxing with little Vinnie. That's my eating some pizza, I hope. Yeah, that's my dream.

So I'm gonna go. Thank you for listening. Remember to be kind to yourself because you do deserve to be happy.

Be gentle with yourself. You deserve to feel safe. Lots of love.

Bye