(Short Music) I’ve Done Very Little | #1664 Let Me Bore You To Sleep | 14th August 2026 | Jason Newland

Hello, welcome to Let Me Bore You To Sleep. My name is Jason Newland and please only listen when you can safely close your eyes.

It's very hot hot hot hot hot hot and and I've got the window closed because of the doggy in the garden so yeah it's even hotter having the window closed I shouldn't really need to have the window closed on you know one of the hottest days of the year but there you go I'm not moaning though yeah a little bit a little bit moany a little bit um today is Saturday the 14th of August 2026 12 days till my birthday 56 no way 56 and I've decided I'm gonna move to

Thailand not now obviously I don't know how I'm gonna do it I don't know how I'm gonna get the money together the whole process I don't know but yeah or at least spend half the year there so maybe not live there but spend half the year that's what I'm thinking or at least go on holiday once a year just yeah oh ice cream van I'm pretty sure when I was young the ice cream van used to be quite clear like that really quiet now it just sounds like metal scratched and

scraping together like one of those old Victorian tourney organs you know that makes a sound but it's very crunchy and like it's almost like you're making music and putting clothes through a mangle at the same time it's just yeah I'm sure used to be quite a nice sound I just don't think they put the effort in that's what it is they could just play a tune couldn't they just play a tune into a microphone or into a system and just play it come and get your ice cream ice cream or

what they could do is just have they might get copyrighted for it but just have Eddie Murphy from Delirious you know the the concert that he did the ice cream song that would be good probably wouldn't be allowed but who's gonna say anything you think people in my town like in my little village you can like hey Eddie Eddie Eddie half sorry I'm just doing a bit from this for the movie um they're not gonna be phoning him up saying yeah there's an ice cream van using that little bit from

your concert from 1984 or 85 or whatever it was 80 86 maybe but saying that I do know it's an ice cream van don't I I suppose it it does do its job technically the communication is there it's hot in here and the reason I closed the window is because just of course just before I started this recording it was very loud out there and the ironic thing is it was loud out there for about two hours plus with humans shout talking to each other there must have been like one

two one two three four four adults and two kids and a dog didn't hear the dog dog didn't bark once the whole time as soon as they left the dog started barking it's like the dog just didn't bother because he knew he wouldn't be heard you know he didn't feel like he had his own voice until they they all left then he could be he could feel himself again be himself again maybe that's what it was maybe he can't be him can't be his real the real person he is when

he's surrounded by people shout talking yeah I don't know it's still hot in here I'm just going to keep moaning about the heat wow I've got this t-shirt on trust me you don't want to see it it's basically ripped right open at the front and I cut the sleeves off because you know what I have two t-shirts one black one gray both with no sleeves you know like purposefully with no sleeves yeah I can't find them the one time in a year that I want to wear them can't find them

I don't know where they are which is weird considering they can't be anywhere there's nowhere they could be unless they're at the bottom of that ah I've got a container over there which is full of empty water bowls and a few other bits and bobs but also underneath that it's stuff that isn't rubbish so maybe because what I did a few oh I think when the radiator person no when the asbestos person came around to check for asbestos I cleared tried to tidy the place up and I cleared everything off

the desk and just chucked it into that container it's like um like a storage container it's not it's not little but it's not it's not big but it's not a little you know it's kind of a fair size I mean when it's full of water it's too heavy to carry maybe I should just say it's too heavy for me to carry but it's you know so it's a fair size and you might think oh how do you know why would you fill it with water well let me tell you I

emptied I got rid of my all my exercise equipment a couple of about three or four months ago and I put them outside the front just like help yourself take them for free and they went very quickly so I had an exercise bike I had a weight lifting bench I had a punch bag which stood up you know with a base which you filled with water I had another punch bag but it was like a ball rather than a punch bag with another base which you could fill with water or

sand I had water in them I'm trying to think what else I had that I put out there oh abdominal board as well so I put that out there I think that's it I don't think there was anything else I know a couple of like a bendy bar thing that you can use I mean easy easy to do because I'm so strong but another like a chest expander thing kind of thing so I put them out there so I basically got rid of all the stuff and I didn't know how

I was going to get the water out of the base for either of them actually but especially the bigger one the punch bag because it was a stand-up punch bag not one that you hung from the ceiling or from the wall because that's a that's a type I used to have I was trying to figure because I kind of I knew that I could lift it I could roll it anyway to the bathroom and I knew that I could probably lift it and move it into the bath and then empty

it there but the problem is I didn't know if part of my body would explode if I tried first of all it was my back was not going to be thanking me for it and it wasn't that important you know it wasn't important enough for me to risk injury 20 years ago they just picked it up and regretted it afterwards with a ripped muscle or something but I thought no I don't want to do that so I ended up managing to pour some of it bit by bit into one of

those containers so I got three I think and yeah bit by bit I was able to do it and then it was light enough for me just to pick up and empty it so I think I got about three quarters of it out the water before I could lift it like easily comfortably with a big smile on my face and at one point I had quite a bit of water inside that that container so I was left with the same issue so now I've got a container full of water that

I need to empty how am I going to do that without hurting myself but I did I managed to do it it was a case of just it was a balancing thing you know first sort of get it on my knees and then just balance it on the side of the bath and then yeah once it pushed it over the rest was easy but the reason I got rid of you're probably wondering why'd you get rid of all your exercise stuff well I can't I can't go into details but there

was a thing happened a thing happened and my internal reaction was to I went into destroy mode can you hear the dog barking I can't I can't work around the dog barking I can't if I wait for it to not be barking I'd literally have to wait till three o'clock in the morning to make a recording so and I can't do that I mean doesn't you know it's there's nothing I can do about it not legally so just have to just sit with it and hope for the best you know

to be fair I don't even know who's the dog it might be another dog that one sounds quite far in the distance I think there might be two dogs it's quite funny because when Vinnie barks and he does someone knocks on the door Vinnie screams with excitement oh it is a dog the owner is now shouting can you hear that what she started doing lately which I find a bit unusual is so I was in the garden the other day talking to a couple of neighbours Vinnie was getting over excited

we were talking and the dog was going nutty the other dog because technically I think the unwritten law is they're the only ones allowed to go in the garden we're not allowed to be in outside of the garden but she closed the door and left the dog out there because she was getting fed up hearing the dog barking and I've seen that a couple of times it's like take the dog inside but close the door perhaps I should start doing that with Vinnie put him in the garden and just come

back upstairs the council would be knocking on my door within about five minutes that's an exaggeration but if it was in the garden barking all day the council would be knocking on my door every single day because all the neighbours would complain because he would be barking he'd be barking at the cats he'd be barking at the birds maybe he'd be barking when he saw someone coming out of the building he'd you know because he's excited just like the other dog over the fence it's a lovely little dog but he

can't be left in the garden all day you do that with any dog not any dog but you know if it's a barky dog it's just going to be barking all the time and Vinnie although Vinnie wouldn't bark as much as often Vinnie's louder way louder he screams with honestly so high pitched so between the two of them that would be wow I imagine the police would get called like people who complain so we need call the police we need the dogs taken away he's cute when he's sleeping though he's

got his little paw like his left paw bent over and pushed against the the what's it against the metal stand of the desk I'm so lucky that he does not react to the other dog otherwise it would be all day all literally all day they'd be going back and forth the whole time unless she's closed the door and a dog saying let me in let me in oh no when he first moved in because he's got a name that's quite similar to Vinnie Vinnie used to think he was being called

and he would bark but now he's used to it also when I say Vinnie he ignores me anyway so he doesn't take much notice of people sometimes for hours and hours I think that's another part of the reason why I want to kind of move to Thailand because I don't know how long I could put up with this to be honest I think it's a little bit catch me on the wrong day and now it yeah it's it's not good I don't yeah I'd rather avoid that so yeah the thing

is he ignores me Vinnie ignores me generally but he would never bark for that long when I tell him to stop it might take a few seconds but he stops and I have him in one room because I know if I leave him if I let him just wander the flat go into the bedroom where he wants to be he loves sleeping on the bed or sitting in the hallway he will bark at every single thing that happens in the building and because I know that I have to prevent it

that's the burden of being considerate I wish I wasn't considerate I wish I could go back to being 16 again you know where I didn't or 15 I didn't really have much in the way of consideration but even early 20s really but now having lived in so many different places and seeing the the various different things that can occur when people are not considerate it's kind of trained me to be considerate even when I'm around people that aren't it's just a really important thing and I know people I've known people

that really thought there was something wrong with me because their attitude was stuff the other people doesn't matter I'll do what I want who cares I kind of would like to have that attitude not to be inconsiderate to people but to not care because they're more relaxed they're just like still going so yeah I'm sorry if if having a dog in the background is problematic but it's not all the time as part of the reason I can't make hypnosis recordings at the moment because the dog just got worse every day

around she just says its name and that's it that is not enough like me saying to Vinnie oh Vinnie it's enough of that come on he ain't gonna listen I have to be quite stern quite forbidden forbidden is that a word quite formidable very strong and masculine he he knows you gotta let dogs bark sometimes I'm not that I'm not that dumb to think that you know dogs should be quiet all the time because that's not realistic it's like telling me never to fart but it's there's a limit isn't there

there's kind of oh everyone that has a dog it's gonna bark if you you know not all the time not like continuously on and off from 6 30 in the morning till like maybe 9 at night it's always quiet now maybe maybe he's gone inside sometimes there's quiet periods that last for like an hour sometimes it's rare but sometimes there is and I get used to it and I enjoy the peace and then I think it was last week or the week before that I think they went away for a

couple of days and I really I kind of like thought oh maybe the little dog's been rehomed somewhere more suitable somewhere further away maybe in a soundproof house but just somewhere you know with a family it's just somewhere that he can enjoy himself instead of being in a little garden probably bored he's probably as bored as Vinnie is Vinnie gets bored just being up here with me I know he does but maybe not it's maybe because the fact he's barking maybe he's not bored maybe he's enjoying every moment of it

who knows what do I know about dogs and what they're thinking I don't even know what I'm thinking yeah I do I'm wondering why the soundproofing beat on the wall behind the television below the television is actually uneven there's two strips of soundproofing and one's higher than the other that's what I'm thinking not really relevant to the conversation but that is another thing I'm thinking is I can't seem to find the cause or the reason for my left lazy eye because I went on YouTube and put in lazy eye and

it only came up with the lazy eye you know pointing in a different direction and then looked into dyslexia you know wondering whether or not I can have dyslexia in one eye and it said well the dyslexia and it showed I saw two videos showing the what it would be like to experience dyslexia one was just basically where the the number the the letters was moving like shaking or um becoming blurry and not blurry sharp and things like that like seven different versions of the same thing you know and then

I saw but nothing like what I experienced in my left eye and then the next video it said this is how someone would see with dyslexia might see a page of writing and it was all gobbledygook it was there wasn't none of the words were real words again not what I experienced from my left eye I thought this dyslexia again shows my limited or maybe practically no understanding of dyslexia I thought the the letters on the page moved around and I mean sometimes it can spin and stuff you know according

to this video I watched but I guess it's not just one thing but I didn't find anything that explained my left eye where the letters were basically connecting with each other they're moving into each other and the words were joining in with the next word nothing that explained that and apparently with a lazy eye or any kind of stuff with the eye it's not the eye that's the problem it's the brain the brain processing so there's nothing wrong with the eye it's to do with the optical brain part that controls

the eye according to YouTube according I just said instead of according I said according according remind me it's probably best I suppose thinking about it if I make a mistake verbally and say a word wrongly pronounce the word wrongly perhaps I just should move on and not mention it and not focus a light on it and perhaps people wouldn't notice it but I notice it for some reason I feel the need to mention it I've done that all my life really I've corrected what I'm saying as I'm going along but

I think a lot of that is just communication isn't it I want to come across clearly if at all possible because I've had a lot of miscommunication over the years there was a time when I used to believe what people said they should take things literally I remember once because this was a very vague sentence that someone said to me so we were all leaving school and I was friends with it was weird I was friends with the really intelligent kids the ones who were in the high high classes and

I was just as friendly with the ones in the bottom classes see if I put my head out the window and start shouting that is going to cause a lot of problems for me so I can't do it in the past it might find this hard to believe in the past but you go back 30 years wow oh it would be a different situation but I'm much calmer and I try and think before I do even 20 years ago 10 years ago even I feel that I think part of getting

older maybe because my dad's much more chilled out than he used to be mellow I think it's the for men don't they say oh men mellow with age so maybe I think maybe all people can doesn't mean all people do because I've met plenty of elderly people I guess I'm talking 80 plus 70s 80s and I'm not that far off that now am I but it's uh very angry a lot of time and just so but then they might have been now they might be mellow compared to how they were

it's one of those it's almost like the dog can hear me I was watching a comedy show earlier what was I watching it made me laugh though suddenly made me laugh which is good because it's a comedy show I think it might be um George Carlin or maybe Jimmy Carr I don't know I think it might be in George Carlin and I'm laughing this this thing that's on no it was Tyres I said Tyres on Netflix the new season's on just been released so season three so I'm watching Tyres and

I'm laughing but got the window open because it's the hottest summer we've ever had but yeah got the window open because it's summer and every time I laughed and I'm like it must be listening for me and it wasn't even like a loud laugh it's not like I'm laughing uncontrollably but I'm laughing you know just like I know I make fun of people in the dating apps saying I like to laugh but we all do don't we well most of us laughing is it's needed it's not I don't think it

comes under the word like it comes under the word need it's a requirement it's it's up there you know you've got breathing heart pumping around your body your body working correctly being safe having enough food and water having somewhere to live laughing you know it's it's an important thing it's a healing thing it's for your well-being I would say I might be wrong it's just an opinion not based on facts well it is based on facts but you know but it still is also an opinion because you know how I

work I thought you didn't work you've unemployed didn't you and you you know if I read something let's say when I first when I in 2003 let's say for example and I started reading I really got into Buddhism again so I was into it when I was in my early 20s but I really got into it quite a much bigger way because I was going to the Buddhist center I was meditating I was around other Buddhists all of those things I'd never done before which ironically I could have done because

just up the road in Bethnal Green because I lived in Stratford Bethnal Green there was a London Buddhist center I could have walked it it was a long walk but I could have walked it so you know it was a bus bus journey or a short train journey but back then there was no internet there was a yellow pages though and I did know there was a Buddhist center in London because I'd visited it when I was a kid part of my religious education classes that's when I fell in love

with Buddhism well that's when I like when I thought oh I like this because for the first time I realized that I was already doing that I was already doing my own form of meditation so I would lay on my bed in silence sometimes with music and just kind of empty my mind because I probably I suppose I've been a thinker for my life I've been a thinker not an intellectual thinker just a you know a thinker and I used to walk home from school especially in junior school it's a

long walk one of the the last junior school I went to I used to walk home and it would take me it was a good half hour journey but I'd sometimes take an hour and a half and I didn't realize I was doing walking meditation I was focusing on my feet I was focusing on my body on my breathing on the air on the smells on the sounds and it felt nice because the stress was leaving me the uptightness because I was quite an uptight kid highly strung probably you would

say and it helped but I didn't do it for that reason because I didn't know what I was doing I just it just felt right to do that and in fact I know maybe I mentioned this before but I corrected an issue with my feet during this period because I realized that my feet were curled inwards or my toes rather were curled inwards when I was walking and I didn't know why but they weren't always curled inwards the whole time but for some reason when I was walking they would just

be curled inwards and I had to train myself to walk with my my toes relaxed and it felt really awkward it was very very uncomfortable so I've been walking with my toes curled inwards maybe for years and years without realizing it I hadn't noticed it before it's almost like a monkey you know monkeys can climb trees and their feet can curl kind of like grip stuff it was almost like that's what my feet were doing I had monkey feet basically and I had to teach my toes one by one I

had to actually focus on my toes being released like being I suppose calm and relaxed floppy but it took ages because my toes were so stuck I had to like gradually relax them over time so it took weeks and weeks and weeks to the point where I was just walking normally like my feet my toes were just relaxed and walking normally and occasionally when I did feel uptight my toes would go back to how they were so I kind of realized that that was why they were like that because I

was feeling so I wasn't feeling as relaxed as perhaps you know I needed to so I was what was I nine nine or ten years old at that point it's weird because it's one of those memories that I don't really think about very often I only want to hear a dog bark isn't there a movie where someone presses a button and the dog just stops barking it's still barking but you can't hear it on one of those gadgets I know that dogs have different hearing like see do you think that

he's hearing so good he can hear me talk wow because literally I'll be in there even with the door the window on the latch you know so there's air coming in but it's still pretty much just closed I'll do something that he'll bark I'd like just put a cup down on the table and he'll bark it's like he can hear what I'm doing or is that paranoia do you realize if that dog had been there in 2018 I would have made a couple of these let me boys asleep and then

I would have stopped I would have given up so luckily for the first 10 years of living there I didn't have that and yeah I wouldn't now have how many Let Me Bore You To Sleep have I done now I do have a question for those listening I've done 1,663 so I would at the most have three done because I wouldn't have continued with that something that I noticed lately the last few days is you know okay I don't want to talk about the stats I know people don't like to

hear about the stats but I'm going to talk well I am going to talk about the stats for some reason I don't know if it's an error with my website host but today for example I've got 768 downloads in Jacksonville Beach Florida United States 756 downloads now I know that there isn't there's no way in the world you can listen to 756 recordings in a day I mean you know bearing in mind that so many of my recordings are 10 hours long which means you could only listen to like two

a day so 756 the United Kingdom I have a recurring thing Leeds 590 downloads so if you're in Leeds or if you're in let's say Dakota Beach did I say I don't remember I don't remember now I have to go back to it Florida anyway I remember that bit Florida Florida oh Jacksonville Beach can you please contact me and let me know what's going on because this is just I don't either you're not downloading all them and the stats are just incorrect and instead of you know in a let's say

for England for example for the UK instead of nearly all the recordings just being downloaded from Leeds maybe it's a lot more from other places they've just for some reason the geolocation thing that they use is incorrect but if you are in Leeds or in Florida in America downloading all those recordings maybe be interested in know why what's going on because I'm confused it'd just be nice to know if the well it just see if it's an error on the app or not because I've had a few they do make

errors sometimes I mean I had one where I was getting Vietnam and I was getting thousands of downloads in Vietnam and there was no there was no made no sense and then it stopped like out of the blue just stopped that's really strange oh it's not strange that's why I had my blood test I just found like a big red mark on my right arm and that was my blood test done I realized when I was younger I didn't care about any medical things really generally like if I saw a

mark on my arms I wouldn't go what's that like oh it's a mark as I got older I'm a bit more I noticed things a bit more with stuff like that so even with the the different podcasts or did the different apps Apple podcasts at the top again but overcast is pretty much just underneath it podcast addicts generic android app and then my website Spotify I think it's the SoundCloud ones that are on Spotify so that's a different I wish they weren't because then I could get rid of Spotify not

Spotify SoundCloud rather I wish I could get rid of both of those podcasts because that's 20 quid a month that feels like it's being wasted but they're connected to SoundCloud not SoundCloud Spotify I'll get it right in a minute for some reason the Spreaker podcasts are not connected to Spotify it's like it doesn't like Spreaker or doesn't I don't know what's going on but it does like SoundCloud so I'm not 100% sure why audible pod bean blimey yeah I'm just wondering because if I go for the last 30 days right

if I go to geolocation for the 30 days Unite Kingdom are you ready for this Leeds this is just the last 30 days 4867 38% the Unite Kingdom downloads comes from Leeds and it would be impossible to listen to that many recordings in fact I think you'd struggle to do that in a year never mind in a in a month in fact you couldn't do it in a year I don't think could you I don't know and the most you could listen to if it's a Let Me Bore You To

Sleep you could listen to because you know you're not going to be listening but I suppose you could listen to when you're asleep so let's say 24 recordings a day so if you listen to you know hypnosis one half an hour so that's 48 a day 48 times by so it's 480 10 days and times that by three so let's say 480 is a 500 1500 so 1500 recordings is pretty much the most you can listen to if you listened in a month 24 hours a day and each recording lasted

half an hour that was just a guess I think I'm right but it was a guesswork so it's physically impossible to listen to 4867 downloads so if you are in Leeds it'd be really interesting to hear whether or not it is one person and if not then I think Spreaker is messing up somehow it's messing up and in America which is even more Florida Jacksonville Beach 17101 again that well it's impossible to listen to that many recordings so in a month should we go for the year I like to do

this I don't know why the last 12 months see Santa Ana 12,580 Mountain View 772 so that's over a year different ones Huntington Beach what was the one that I was looking at was it Huntington Beach that doesn't make sense does it because didn't it just say 17,000 for the month the last month Florida Jacksonville Beach was 10,000 okay current month Jackson's and Beach over 6,000 so that's 10,000 17,000 the last 12 months Jackson's and Beach isn't even coming up at all oh no I've got I've got California sorry yes

17,102 blimey what about UK UK UK Leeds 8,102 in the last 12 months she's louder than a dog isn't she so now she's just shouting his name out even though he's not barking she's using the phone she's on the phone why you don't need to be on the phone just just aim your mouth towards where the person might be uh London Birmingham Hull Newcastle upon Tyne see if anybody that is in Leeds that's listening or downloading I don't know how how would you download that many or listen to that many

recordings but if you do then could you let me know so I'd be interested to hear from you just maybe go to my website and say hey it's me I'm the one I am the one it'd be interesting I just want to find out if it's an error on Spreaker because I think it might be and if it is an error then I need to contact him and say look you know I don't I don't expect exact stats because they might have Birmingham Newcastle York Doncaster it doesn't it's not necessarily

going to be you know precise but just yeah roughly roughly will do I'll accept roughly I'm happy with roughly so today I've done well apart from this I've done nothing literally I've uploaded about 30 podcasts up to TurboScribe to transcribe for me so I'm now up to one thousand two hundred and twenty which shows you I've got a lot left to do so it's 400 plus so it's going to take me a long time to get that done but that's all part of my process of you know writing the book

the problem is the book is gonna it's gonna be very long based on the what I've done what I've done so far is based on is it 350 350 350 let's have a little look let's have a look okay yeah I think it was based on 350 recorded now 300 yeah 350 and out of that I had what did I I think it was 17 pages of basically is it 17 no 24 so there's 24 pages basically like it's a book master index so Let Me Bore You To Sleep episodes

1 to 350 and I've got another 1 300 plus to add to that so just the basic summary is 1000 is 24 pages so when I've got it all together the basic summary is probably going to be about or based on that another 3 6 9 12 3 6 9 12 13 or 15 another 5 or 6 times that so it's 25 50 150 probably between 150 and 200 pages and I'm saying that because as I've gone through the years the recordings have become a fairly longer generally not all the

time but there's been some really long ones so just the basic basic description the basic summary will be anything up to 200 pages long and that's without really expanding on any of the subjects so it's it's going to be a it's going to be a task it really is oh yes hmm yeah it is I mean maybe I won't do it I mean I'm I want to do it but I know because I'm limited with because it takes because on so I'll just show you on chat gpt I'm on the

plus so it costs me what does it cost me is it 25 quid a month something like that and with the vat so you've got two choices you've got chat or you've got work with the work I am not allowed to do anything on work again until the 22nd of august I've used up all my credits for work but that did go through through that did go through 350 pages of scripts so I got quite a lot out of that but it does mean that technically I'm going to be what's

the month now it's august september october november december january it's probably going to be january before I've done the very basics for all the transcripts just like the basic like put it in and started looking then the hard work starts to start compiling and comparing and you know finding every time I talked about the chip shop for example or the violin or karate or cooking lessons or whatever it might be getting my hair bleached going to france going to spain for the afternoon working in the pub the really dodgy pub

or my comedy adventures you know it's all going to bulgaria working in insurance company the three different insurance companies I worked at working in the two bakeries I worked at one as a kid and then one as an adult the one as an adult was huge bakery massive thing all the various catering and kind of jobs I had all the different places I've lived all the different rooms I've moved into all the different kind of relationships I've attempted or been in that didn't last buddhism that's another one but my interest

in buddhism my love for boxing um different martial arts I've played around with different clothes I've worn pets I've had friends I've had haircuts I've had I mean technically I could write a book about working in a chip shop I could write a book about my time in comedy I could write a book about working in insurance I could write a book about working in the meter factory because I worked there three different times you know I could write I could probably write a book about working at butlin's probably wouldn't

be a very big book but you know it's only there for was it four or five weeks but you know I was thinking I just had this idea now and it's probably not an original idea because I think I thought about it before why write a whole book of my whole life because that's such a huge task especially well first of all I'm not famous so no one's really going to be reading it it's not like I'm getting paid huge amounts of money to write about my life and people are

going to be interested in the whole thing you know that's not going to happen so I mean some people might be interested I don't know but you know generally I mean it's not like it's going to be like it's just so much work that's what I'm saying and I don't know if I would even sit through reading that much because we're talking even if I didn't if I just stuck to the facts which would be incredibly boring if I didn't add my own voice to it outside of the voice from

the podcast you know I could do a lot of it verbatim so it's just me talking and just cut and paste you know sort of just so it's me because it is still my voice because that's what I said at the time but it's going to be huge huge book with potentially thousands of pages you know if I'm going to cover the whole 55 years of my life just the first just the childhood bit is a big book so you know I don't know you know if I just talked about

mental health issues that's a book on its own so maybe what I could do is good because this is all part of the Let Me Bore You To Sleep so the idea is to it's I want them to be funny I want them to have some humor in them but at the same time if you listen to me and you read the books you're going to be hearing my voice read the book out loud to you in a sense because you know what my voice sounds like so the more often

you hear my voice the more likely that when you read the words it'll be my voice in your head reading them which means you're going to get very relaxed and providing you know you're in bed and it's safe you may fall asleep the problem is with the book I can't put only read when you can safely close your eyes for obvious reasons maybe that should be the title only read this when you can safely close your eyes wow that is good isn't it only read this when you can safely close

your eyes what a great idea that's got me excited that is I like that although I'll probably forget the idea once I finish this recording and the weird thing about it is I've missed out so much information to tell you about I don't know what oh yeah I went to the doctors yesterday and I've not even mentioned it didn't mention it yesterday haven't mentioned it today well I've mentioned it but without actually going into details and there's a whole bunch of stuff that happened I guess I'll just have to tell

you tomorrow because I need to take the vinster out soon because he hasn't been out since nine o'clock it's now half past five it's a long time he's not drinking a lot of water which I don't understand when he does drink water he drinks a lot at one time and if he thinks we're going out he will just suddenly start drinking loads so he's got plenty of wee wee to spread so I could do some more books just call it chip shop meter factory bakery just give them a name like

that and just talk about what it was like working at those places and what was going on in my life at the time where I lived my lifestyle about my landlady or landlord the journey to and back you know from work the financial situation yeah could be interesting or be really boring that's the thing if I bought if it's like which it will be part of the Let Me Bore You To Sleep franchise then if it's interesting good and if it's boring good so I can't lose the people's sales but

if it was really crap then that's different but they say I was really boring then I've done my job but if they say oh I was really interested I enjoyed that that's good also because well I just feel nice to think people had enjoyed something that I'd created hmm so small books so what I could do again it won't be till I've conglomerated I don't know if that's the right word all of the podcasts episodes together transcribed and then just scraped out everything I've ever mentioned about the chip shop for

example and then I can start writing it or maybe what I'll do is I'll do a podcast episode just about the chip shop which would be a very very long recording but I will have a list of reminders of stuff that's happened and just just to kind of a trigger for me to mention that thing and see if it opens up if there's any more stuff that kind of I remember in fact maybe I wouldn't publish them I just make the recording maybe make another recording and do see how many

recordings I can make based on the chip shop alone because I was there for two years a lot happened that was an important part of my life so perhaps I can just go through that see how many podcasts I can come up with and then go through those and have those read and you know turned into a another directory list of things and yeah and just do that a few times until I've got something that because I need it to be in my voice and I don't want to talk about

myself I want to talk like as a character although if I did I could get away a lot more stuff I could be a bit more honest because as a character you can make the character do things that well the character doesn't gonna he's not gonna get judged but I will be judged if it's me so I'll have to leave out some of the juicy stuff not that there's much juicy stuff to be honest so yeah I'm thinking about that that'll be that's just got me thinking maybe short books all

based on helping you to sleep and for me I quite like to publish them I know you know putting them as an e-book would be the first action because then it wouldn't work it would be minimal cost if I start because I want to give them away to especially people on my group the Jason Newland's Boring Group on Facebook I'd want to just give them away for people to read you know I'm not not bothered about charging money or making any money out of it it'd be also really be cool

to at the very least publish like a physical copy of each book for me just so I can have it you know I have it on my shelf it's like I'm an author look at all those 500 different books so what do they talk about not much not much can I can I borrow one and read it no you won't want to read it but why why you why why would you write a book that no one wants to read I said I don't know ego probably but yeah I'd advise

not reading it you won't you won't be useful so why did you write them then I don't know it seemed like a good idea at the time yeah I don't know how because I'm not thinking of the short book I'm thinking of something maybe 80 pages you know not not quite sure with maybe five chapters or whatever or maybe one one two three pages per chapter so maybe you know I don't know how many chapters that would be so start off like if it was a chip shop the day that

I applied for the job was I just got my glasses and I was walking out around with my glasses on for the first time ever and my dad had just had a little chat with me in the garden about what was I going to do when I left school because I was coming up to leaving school and I'd never thought about it before and he said well you better think about it so I decided I'll prove him and I'll just I went and got a job that day that afternoon just

I suppose just to shut him up or to prove that I could do it but you know it wasn't really a major successful wow the dog doesn't normally go I mean this is this is particularly continuous I mean it does do this sometimes but not it hasn't shut up pretty much the whole time we've been doing this recording I don't know if it was the dog over the fence it might be the dog like further up they both sound the same to me is that racist I don't know obviously they

sound very similar you know back to my eyesight that's bugged me I'm going to go into chat GPT right I'm in there but I'm gonna do a new chat in chat not work I'm gonna ask saw opticians said I have lazy eye it's not wonky but I am unable to read with it as all the words and letters let us mix together let's see what it says yes that description can fit very well with a lazy eye and blip amblyopia I'm amblyopia even if the eye looks perfectly straight lazy eye

is a slightly misleading name it doesn't necessarily mean the eye turns in or out that's what I always thought it meant an eye that visibly turns is called stabismus squint whereas amblyopia where did they get these names from stabismus squint or amblyopia means the brain hasn't developed normal quality vision using that eye I sometimes wonder what's my brain got against me all these things these brain things it's like so the brain didn't develop for me to have proper vision in my left eye I got bipolar which pretty much I inherited

I guess from my mum or me and well yeah a lot of my family have this stuff but I'm pretty slow mentally so I think there's a difference between being slow and being stupid I don't know what it is it's not stupid I don't sometimes my brain works really really fast but I'm kind of on medication to stop that and sometimes it works really really slow and I'm on medication to stop that as well like there's been times when my brain just didn't work but like it I just kind of

shut down it's happened a lot of times over the years but it's like just like I can't function and it happened in my last insurance job I was sitting there and all I wanted to do was get onto the desk and go to sleep I just couldn't I couldn't do it I couldn't function at all weird I mean probably the best thing I did was I did push on I'm not a quitter I'm not an easy quitter when it comes to stuff like that and I carried on for months and

months and months and I was walking to work and every time it was like oh and one day I got outside the office the building and I thought no it's like it took me a while to get to the point where I thought I don't have to do this I don't have to put myself through this and this is not leading anywhere good and so I turned and I walked home and I made an appointment with a doctor and everything from there kind of led to guess where I am now

but if I hadn't done that I'm not quite sure where I'd be because I had to I just couldn't do it I couldn't I couldn't walk into that building physically my legs wouldn't move for me to go in there and I knew all I had to do was walk in and I'm not that I'd be okay but I would manage I'd get through another day but my legs wouldn't allow it and I got home and I pretty much just collapsed on the bed and just the relief of not being in

there the relief of like almost listening to myself listening to my body listening to what every atom of me was kind of shouting out and eventually and also having a perspective are you enjoying that Vinnie he's making a right meal of it I'm not going to tell you what he's doing but there's no role just a sausage blimey and yeah I don't know why was I talking like that I don't know I was talking about my eyes when you describe individual the words seem to mix together overlap move or become

impossible to separate when you use the eye alone it could happen that the eye has significantly poorer visual processing glasses may make image sharper but doesn't necessarily make the brain interpret the letters normally glasses make no difference they'll make it sharper they're you know but yeah it doesn't change it one useful distinction is whether you have had this problem with that eye or whether the mix in motion letters is new or noticeably worse if it's long standing that fits much better with your optician's explanation if it's recently appeared or deteriorating

I'd tell the optician GP specifically that the letters move or mix together because it might need new you know need to be looked at I was diagnosed but not died but do opticians diagnose you I mean I've got cataracts I know that now that is new well from last time I had an eye test which was 2022 I think 21 22 so I have I was told by the optician when I was 15 that I had a wonky eye a lazy eye rather not wonky eye a lazy eye and I

had to do exercises to strengthen it but the optician then never mentioned the thing is my memory isn't that clear about the optician's session session but he was the only optician ever to say that I had a lazy eye until this latest optician a few months ago and I've had my eyes tested on numerous occasions every few years but no one's ever noticed it so I must have had it all that time and for some reason it's I've been able to kind of I got used to it I think that's

what it was I got used to it it's just this time it's something about I noticed that I'm thinking that's weird is that supposed to happen and she said no and I said oh how come she said she said well I'm a part-time magician I said what and she said well yeah that's how I'm able to make the pigeon appear out of the hat I said oh because she was doing a magic trick I didn't realize I mean she just pulled out this hat and suddenly this pigeon appeared and I

said is that supposed to happen in an optician's you know examination and she said not generally but I've got this charity gig coming up and I figured that if we're raising money for you know an important charity that people wouldn't mind I said okay so what about my eye she said your eye I said yeah my eye the the lazy eye she said you need to kick give it a good kick up the bum and she laughed hysterically like it's not lazy but anyway apparently I had it since I was

14 I was given exercises I even had a um not a mask an eye patch I had to wear an eye patch on my right eye when I was at home and read watch television do everything with my left eye and at the time when I was 15 I was told I needed to wear glasses all the time now after probably less than a week those glasses were were removed from my face by myself never to be put on again so that was 1986 and I stopped doing the exercises stopped

doing the thing with the pencil like following my left you know to try and get the left eye to strengthen the muscles and all that stuff I jacked that in and then the next time I went to the opticians he said I just needed reading glasses and that was it and that's all I had until uh 2000 and probably 13 2012 I think about 2012 I started wearing glasses full-time that's my new job wearing glasses so it's only been the last um 14 years before that I used to just wear

glasses for reading because it's very strange whenever I read I might oh I don't know it's a weird thing it's just it fascinates me that's all it just fascinates me I mean if it happened to my right eye then I would be down to the doctors you know I'd be like well there's something's going on here but because it's just one eye and because I'd already been told I had a lazy eye when I was a teenager and I didn't do the exercises and I stopped wearing glasses because I was

too busy trying to get with the honeys I never talked like that wow getting with the babes attracting my sweet heart I just people made fun of me at school that's what it was you know walked into school with glasses for the first time with a lot of kids that I'd been two years in junior school and I was in the fifth year of high school so what's that like nearly seven years I've been with these kids never seen me with glasses before suddenly I'm there wearing glasses and a lot

of them found it funny I didn't find it funny but didn't you like the attention no no no no no no no so that was it so yeah that's why I still didn't get around to telling you about the uh the doctor's appointment but I'll try and remember that tomorrow so I'm gonna go thank you for listening and I don't even know if there's any boxing on tonight I'm not sure but it is nearly six o'clock and I've got to take the little monkey out so thank you for listening remember to be kind to yourself because you do deserve to be happy be gentle with yourself you deserve to feel safe lots of love bye